Family
by The Middle Warner Sibling
Summary: A different look at the Warners.  This fic will follow the siblings from their beginnings, through Animaniacs and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

-1My take on the Warner's - who they are, where they come from, what they have to go through on the way to the top, and afterwards.

I foresee this fic being long (if people like it and it gets good reviews). It will cover their early years, their years on "Animaniacs" and afterwards. Mostly from Yakko's point of view, at least for now (he is the oldest after all). As the years progress, other characters - from many different shows - will be making appearances.

When you see "XXXXXXXXXX" it is a change in a characters' thoughts or scenes - I could find no other way to switch the perspective.

Thanks to _DancesWithCorpses_ going through this for me and proofreading my horrid spelling.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1 – It's Hard, Being the Oldest

August 1988

He was jolted out of his sleep, not by the sound of snoring or a nightmare, not even the people in the apartment upstairs yelling at each other, but the unhappy cries of a baby.

His brain still a bit addled with sleep, the child turned to look to his left. Beside him, his younger brother slept peacefully, thumb in his mouth. He rolled over, curling up to his younger brother, hoping one of his parents would tend to the disturbance so he could go back to sleep.

After a minute, it grew silent, and the boy gave a happy sigh; his parents finally did something. With this thought still going through his head, the wails came back, louder than before. Apparently the baby was simply inhaling - more air - more noise.

Why didn't Mom do something to make her be quiet? The boy looked at the clock on the floor – 2:42 A.M. With a small groan, he rolled over and got out of the bed carefully, making sure not to jostle the rickety frame. The last thing he wanted to do was wake his brother. Luckily his little brother was a fairly heavy sleeper and the noise did not seem to have woken him. Clutching his stuffed bunny, he continued to snore, occasionally letting out a small yipping sound.

Staggering across the hallway, he entered his parents' bedroom and flicked on the light, wincing slightly as the dim light overhead lit the grungy room. Not surprisingly, neither of them was home. If he was going to be babysitting, the least they could have done was informed him. It would not be any different from any other day, but it just seemed like it would have been nice to have been told.

But, they hadn't, and the baby was in the middle of his parents' bed, screaming.

Wondering why she was not in her crib on the other side of the room, he walked across the dirty carpet, stepping over clothes, bottle caps, discarded cigarette butts, scattered playing cards, and old slips from the dog track.

Smelling something terrible; he cringed - did her diaper need changing?

Just taller than the edge of the bed, he peered at the baby, barely old enough to sit up on her own. Still bawling, her dark eyes followed his every movement.

He remembered Mom saying something earlier about his sister starting to get her teeth in, right before his mother put her own teeth around the neck of a bottle and thrust the infant into his arms.

Slightly sympathetic, but happy it was not him with the sore gums, he inhaled and hoisted himself onto the bed. Wincing at the bed frame creaking in protest, he crawled across the filthy duvet and picked the baby up. She quieted some. She whimpered and looked at him with big dark watery eyes.

He began to think – neither of his parents were here – not that he was sure how much help they would be. He had to find a way to dull the pain in her gums so she, and subsequently he, could go back to sleep. If the gods found favor with him, his brother would not wake up as well. Doing a quick look, he did not spot her pacifier.

He had read that rubbing alcohol on an infant's gums could numb the pain of teething. Although medicines where readily available for teething on the shelves at the local grocery store or pharmacy, they certainly did not have the money for something like that. He hoped that a bit of alcohol on her gums would sooth her a bit.

It was hard sometimes, being the oldest. And to think – Mom made it sound like it was such an adventure each time she announced she was pregnant – _the little ones will look up to you – you'll be the big brother – it will be your job to protect them and teach them_...

"Come on sister sibling," he said, liking the new word he had learned today. "Mom said whiskey can dull the pain of anything, and I know there is plenty of _that_ around here."

The baby made a small whimper, but didn't seem to protest further.

As he scooted across the bed, balancing his sister, he found the source of the foul smell - a bottle of spoiled formula. Hoping that his sister had not drank any of it, he kicked it off the bed onto the floor - he would clean it up later.

As the boy carried his sister into the living room, he rolled the new word around in his head. _Sibling_. According to the dictionary he had been reading - a blood relative. A kinsman or woman. It sounded so much more intelligent than brother or sister.

Yakko knew the importance of sounding intelligent.

Still carrying the whimpering child, he looked around, hoping to see his parents, even slightly tipsy, sitting on the avocado green couch with the cigarette burns on the seat cushions. Of course his father would drunkenly be talking about how "those damn kids" had ruined him; he would have had a successful career on stage and screen if he didn't have to worry about them. His mother would be mumbling about money, hooch, and her own "Hollywood" career that had never taken off.

As he passed the obsolete television with the missing dial sitting on the puce carpet, ineffective rabbit ears sticking out at odd angles, he tripped over the VCR, dented from so many drunken kicks, sitting out in the middle of the floor. He gently moved it with his foot closer to the television in an attempt to save it from being damaged any more than it was. It was really the only thing of value they had in the house - it was entertainment and escape.

Struggling to hold the baby with one arm, he began to root around in the couch cushions. He knew there had been a bottle of rum in there earlier – he had smacked his head on it when he had been watching TV and play wrestling with Wakko. He wasn't sure his sister would like it, but it always seemed to make Mom feel better.

The baby began to whimper louder, and not finding the bottle, Yakko gave up.

_Think, think...What to do?_

He was seven, getting ready to turn eight – his experience in this area was limited. Wishing he were a bit older and better prepared to deal with this, he hit upon another idea. There had been some cheap popsicles in the freezer – maybe one of those would work. Cold could numb pain, and it was really the only other idea he had at this time.

He quickly made his way into the kitchen, stepping over bottles, toys, and miscellaneous garbage. Looking around, he dragged a chair over to the aging Frigidaire and jumped onto the seat, still balancing the baby in his left arm.

Yanking open the freezer door, he was delighted to see that there were still several popsicles there. Grape, cherry, orange, mystery blue color – what flavor would a baby like?

He decided on red – girls always seemed to like the red ones. He preferred the orange. Wakko didn't seem to care – more often than not, he would eat the wrapper too.

Closing the door, he sat down in the seat of the chair, then balanced his sister in his lap. She looked up at him, starting to cry again.

Ripping open the clear plastic wrapper with his teeth, he squeezed the end until the tip of the treat came out. Dot was starting to cry louder, and, when she inhaled to let loose another scream, he popped the end in her mouth.

She widened her eyes in surprise, but when she tasted the flavor, began to suck enthusiastically on it; surprising Yakko with the speed she was choking it back. At the same time, it appeared to be having the effect he desired – she was no longer crying.

As he sat in the chair with her on his lap, he looked around the kitchen, curling up his lip a bit when he saw several roaches move into the crack on the wall. He made a mental note to clean up whatever was spilled on the floor in the corner that was attracting them. Most of the cabinet doors were not closed, which was a shame - if they were closed, he could at least pretend that there was some food in them, and that he would not have two hungry faces looking at him in the morning. If Mom and Dad did not bring home some food stuffs, they were going to go hungry again, something that was never pleasant.

Dot's highchair was thrown haphazardly in the corner, still filthy from the prior feeding that surprisingly, his mother had done. His father had taken his dinner and disappeared, leaving Yakko to assist his younger brother.

Wrinkling his nose, he noticed that whatever was spilled on the floor was also on the highchair - the tray had roaches on that as well. Disgusted with his mother's cleaning habits and the bugs, he hopped onto the floor. He placed Dot on the chair, where she started making fussing noises, but did not unhand the popsicle. He grabbed a rag, already dirty with a prior spill, off the counter top and walked to the rusted sink. Thrusting it under running water, he began to wipe down the highchair, killing any bugs that he was able to catch and tossing them into a discarded bag that was on the floor. He also tackled the mystery stain on the floor since he was in the area, constantly turning to look at Dot, just in the odd chance she started to fall off the chair.

When he had finished his cleaning, he noticed that Dot had finished her popsicle. Half of it was on her face, the rest smeared on her pink outfit. Thankfully she appeared to be happy, looking at him with a goofy grin on her tiny white face.

Small smile on his face, he grabbed another rag, cleaner this time, and wiped her face and hands, breaking out into a big grin when she started giggling. If she was happy, then he was happy - plus, he could go back to sleep.

Picking her up, he carried her back into their parents' room. Quickly changing her diaper and outfit on the bed, he carried her to the crib. Standing on his toes, he was able to lower the rail to place her in it, thinking that this was the safest place for her, not their parents' bed where he found her. Plus, he knew the crib was clean - he had done the laundry himself a few days before. Judging from the odor coming from his parent's bed, he doubted the sheets had been washed in months.

There were miscellaneous items in the crib that he had to move, including a bottle of rum and the missing pacifier.

Figures.

"Night sis." He mumbled. He wiped the pacifier off with his glove, slipped it into her mouth, and raised the rails, hearing them click into place. He turned to leave, happy to seek his bed, when he heard her start whimpering.

Tired, and a little annoyed, he turned back to the crib, where she was looking at him through the bars like a tiny criminal, tears forming in her eyes. Were her teeth hurting again already?

She let out a soft wail, and with a sigh, he lowered the rails and picked her back up, ready to shove another popsicle in her mouth and sleep in the kitchen. She stopped crying and peered at him through her tears. With a shrug, he placed her back down, where she started fussing again. Raising an eyebrow, he picked her up, where she immediately stopped crying.

Unbelievable. She woke him up because she wanted comforting. He tried looking irritated, but was unable to really muster up the feeling. Around this house, he was starting to assume the role of primary comfort-giver; somebody had to do it. It would be nice if there was someone to comfort him sometimes.

She let out a soft giggle and began to gently bat at his face with her pudgy little hands.

Resigned to the fact that he was going to be up the rest of the night with her, he cuddled her and began stroking one of her long black ears, feeling the silky black fur through his glove. She squirmed, happy for the attention.

He walked to the window, hoping to at least see something interesting if he was not going to get any sleep. The walls in this apartment were way too thin to watch TV to pass the time - all he would do was wake his brother up. Too bad - his parents had tripped across a wonderful collection of movies from the thirties - Yakko knew better than to ask where they had come from. Old black and white movies true, but very entertaining – he and Wakko had watched them for hours…

He wrinkled his nose a bit, never liking the view out their windows. This section of Toontown was an overcrowded ghetto, full of has-beens, never has-beens, aging starlets, gamblers, con-men, and boozed up sleezeballs looking for a good time. The Plympton Ghetto was not the worst of the ghettos, but it was not one of the better areas of town either.

Somewhere out there, his parents were attempting to hit "the big one" as they called it. Whether it was begging, stealing, gambling, trying to con someone; they were always chasing some new scheme. If they were really fortunate, they would actually bring home some food. A bottle of spoiled formula and some popsicles were not going to make a very appetizing breakfast.

Despite the constant fighting of the residents upstairs, the noisy street, the calls of woman to men, constant traffic, the occasional siren, and a mugging here or there, he could usually sleep fairly well. It probably explained why he never found his brother's snoring all that annoying. He had been dealing with worse for years.

Yakko felt rather than heard another presence, and with a tired sigh, turned to see his younger brother standing in the doorway, clutching his stuffed bunny and rubbing his eyes. Wakko looked at him with sleepy eyes a little hesitantly.

With a small smile, Yakko held out his other arm for Wakko, who ran over to get a hug of his own. Without a word, Yakko turned back to the window, baby balanced on his left hip, Wakko leaning against his right leg.

"Where's mummy and daddy?" Wakko asked quietly.

Yakko, not looking at him, simply said "Out."

His parents - and he used that word loosely…They should be here - they were the ones who chose to have children, but they were never here for anything, always out boozing and scheming and partying…

They had seemed upset when they missed the first time Wakko took a step. They had been more upset when they missed hearing his first word. They had been livid when they heard that his first word was "_Yakko"_. They were actually angry at Yakko, like he stole their spotlight. He was not sure what they thought it was going to be - who spent more time with him - they were never here - someone had to watch him…

The only thing that had surprised Yakko about the whole affair was that his brother sounded like he was going to develop a Scouse accent. Unusual. Where that had come from, he had no idea.

Not wanting to dwell on these thoughts, and about to fall asleep on his feet, Yakko gently turned Wakko around and led him back to their bed, still holding their sister. Looking at her tearstained face, he could see that she was almost asleep. She glanced at him, let out a soft burp, and laid her head back on his shoulder.

He helped Wakko into bed with his one free arm, and too tired to attempt to bring Dot back to her crib, decided to let her stay with them. Maybe if she felt her brothers near her, she wouldn't fuss so much and would stay asleep. He just hoped they didn't crush her in the bed.

Glancing at the clock, the time now read 3:58 A.M.

Glad he had no plans for the day, he laid down, Dot cradled in his right arm. Wakko crawled over him, giving him a knee in the stomach in the process, to sleep on his left arm.

Yakko grabbed a pillow, placed it beside Dot so she wouldn't roll off the bed, and with his two snoring siblings using him as a pillow, dozed off to an uneasy sleep, worried about what was going to be in the kitchen in the morning.

XXXXXXXXXX

He had been having a fairly pleasant dream; he and his siblings been had sitting in a clean kitchen eating a real breakfast - plenty of food - eggs, cereal, milk, juice…

He should have known it was a dream just from that - the words 'clean' and 'plenty of food' did not appear often in his house.

The scream in his ear shattered this illusion, and he jumped with a start. Groggy, he sat up, and saw Wakko sitting in front of his sister, waving his bunny in her face. She was sitting up, crying, and Wakko looked like he was about to cry too as he violently waved the scrap of fur back in forth in front of her.

Shaking his head, he asked "Wakko, what are you doing? You trying to upset her?" He picked the baby up, where she continued to sob, pushing her wet face into his chest.

"No." Wakko whimpered, clutching the animal to his chest. "She crying - trying to play with her…not wake. You so tired..."

Slightly touched, Yakko placed his hand on Wakko's head. "It's OK, she's just fussy - she's getting her teeth."

Wakko, looking confused, simply shrugged his little shoulders and curled up to Yakko, who looked at the clock. 8:37 AM. He got to sleep later than he thought.

"I'm hungry." Wakko said.

_Me too,_ Yakko thought. Wondering if his parents ever made it home, and if they bothered to bring any food, Yakko gently scooted his brother over so he could get up.

"OK – let's go see if we can find something to eat."

Yakko, holding Dot, was off the bed and waited for Wakko to hop down to the floor.

Holding his hand, he led them into the kitchen, noticing on the way that his parents' door was closed. Well, that answers one question.

_Looks like Mom and Dad had a good night,_ he thought. The bag of groceries on the rickety table looked liked manna from heaven. There was another bag on the table that Yakko recognized - blue plastic bags meant someone took a trip to the all-night liquor store.

Wrinkling his nose slightly, he placed Dot in the highchair that should have been disposed of long ago. The plastic was so broken and jagged that he had bound the entire top in duct tape just to make sure his sister, and previously, his brother, did not get cut on it. But, thanks to his early morning cleaning frenzy, at least it was halfway sanitary.

Wakko climbed into a chair at the table as Yakko began to go through the grocery bag.

_Some of this stuff should have been put into the refrigerator when they came home, but apparently something else got in the way,_ he thought, giving the blue bag a nasty look.

But the milk still was cool, so he was hoping that was OK. There was a can of formula for Dot, a few slices of cheese, eggs, a jar of jelly, a loaf of squished bread, two bars of cheap chocolate - rare indeed in this house, - even a can of some breakfast meat-type product whose name he could not read, but he was hoping was going to be edible. It appeared Mom and Dad didn't have a fantastic night - they had apparently gone to the "scratch and dent" section of the food store.

Excited to be getting something to eat, Wakko bounced up and down in the chair, long black ears flopping around his face.

Yakko laughed at his antics as he moved the groceries to their proper places - milk in the refrigerator, bread on the counter. He hid the chocolate in his pants – something to keep the sibs happy later. He began getting out the pans and bowls to prepare breakfast.

"Can I have cereal?" Wakko asked.

"Sorry, we don't have any cereal." Yakko said, concentrating on preparing Dot's formula.

"Can I have a waffle?"

"Sorry, I don't have any waffles."

"How about pancakes? I like pancakes."

Yakko sighed. He would love to give him pancakes or waffles. Wakko would eat waffles until he burst if given the chance.

"Sorry Wakko, I don't have any of those either. We have eggs, toast, and potted meat product."

"I don't like those." Wakko frowned.

Yakko, who knew that he did like all of the mentioned foods, turned to look at him for a moment.

"Yes you do. You ate toast and eggs a few days ago."

"No I didn't."

Yakko had finished preparing Dot's bottle, and placed it into her chubby fist. She put the nipple of the bottle in her mouth and began to happily drink.

"Yakko, I don't like those foods. I want a waffle!"

Wondering why his brother was choosing to put up a fuss now, Yakko turned. Rolling his eyes at his brother's whining, he continued to prepare breakfast. Probably left over from that 'terrible twos' thing he had heard about.

Unfortunately he had to prepare the food they had. He was not looking forward to yet another meal of eggs and mystery meat either.

"Yakko! I don't want that!" Wakko began to yell, pounding his tiny fist on the table.

Startled, Dot dropped her bottle and stared at her brother in wonder.

_Ignore him, just ignore him,_ Yakko thought. Temper tantrums are supposed to be ignored - if you ignore them, usually they quiet after a few minutes.

Wakko's voice began to rise, and as the pounding on the table continued, Yakko thought it was going to be a long few minutes. Hopefully -

"Quit that damn noise!" a harsh voice rang out.

_Uh oh_…

"What the hell is going on?"

Yakko cringed as out of the corner of his eye he could see a shadow coming down the hall. Darn, Wakko woke him up.

"Wakko - hush!" Yakko hissed at his brother, who stuck his tongue out at him, and continued to pound on the table, repeating his "waffle" chant like a mantra.

Sensing that this was not going to end well, Yakko finished preparing the scrambled eggs, topped with cheese just the way Wakko liked them, and he quickly shoved a slice of breakfast meat and toast on the plate and immediately placed it in front of his brother.

"What are you doing boy?"

Yakko turned to look at his father standing in the doorway.

At first glance, Slacko Warner looked much like his name implied. Tall and lanky, his back was always bent in a constant slouch. His white face, almost translucent for its paleness, held large black eyes, framed by limp black hair and the trademark Warner ears and bright red nose. But where his children's ears were upright and perky, Slacko Warner's ears hung crooked and low, due to the stresses of hard living and the constant breaking of the cartilage in bar fights or when one of his con victims wised up, or he was caught picking the wrong pocket.

His father was not exactly a criminal mastermind - more often than not, he was caught.

His nose, red more from drink rather than genes, was enormous, and he was holding a can of beer to his head. Yakko supposed that another potential sucker figured out what his father was up to - it looked like his father was going to have one heck of a black eye and swollen lip at least.

Yakko noticed that Wakko had stopped throwing his waffle fit and was happily eating his scrambled eggs and toast, though he was avoiding the meat product. Not that Yakko could blame him - while it had turned a salmon color upon being cooked, it originally had started as a carroty-colored lump. He sure wasn't looking forward to consuming it.

"Good Morning Dad. Care for some breakfast? It's really good," he asked, holding a plate up to his father. Better to pacify the old man and get him out of there.

His father continued to glare down at him, eyes narrowing.

"You getting smart with me boy?"

_I can't help it,_ Yakko thought, among other comments. Deciding that caution should be exercised in this instance, he simply said "No sir," and put the plate down on the table.

"What was that brat yelling about?" Slacko hissed at him, glancing at Wakko, who had briefly stopped eating his eggs to watch the conversation. Catching his father's eye, he quickly looked down and began eating his eggs again.

"Oh nothing - he was just having trouble containing his excitement to be eating this feast you have laid out before us."

Yakko saw the slap coming before it actually struck him across the mouth. Staggering back a few steps, he warily watched his father coming at him, hands encased in the standard issued white gloves of half the world's toons. Most toons kept their gloves spotless - his fathers were quite grimy he noticed.

He dimly heard his brother and sister start to cry, and he regretted saying anything to his father in one of his drunken states. He didn't want to do anything to put them in their father's warpath. His parents had never hit the younger ones, and only rarely him - mostly for the same thing.

_Big Mouth._

"Better watch that smart mouth boy - gonna get you in trouble someday. You don't like the food we brought, get your own. Think you could do that kid? Think you could take care of all of you better than your old dad, huh?" Slacko slurred at him, spittle flying from his mouth with every third word.

A whole plethora of thoughts went through Yakko's mind, the first one being: _I already do_.

Again deciding that silence was called for in this case, he said "No sir" and resisted the urge to wipe his face.

Surprised that his son was being so meek, Slacko glared at his oldest for a full minute, waiting to see what the game was. When he realized that Yakko was simply going to look back at him, he left the kitchen with a final "keep those kids quiet."

As soon as he left and heard the bedroom door close again, Yakko turned to his sobbing siblings, who had abandoned their breakfast and were watching him, sniffling.

"Come on guys, finish your breakfast. Wakko, you like the eggs, right?" Yakko was close to going into panic mode - he didn't want his brother or sister upset, or crying loud enough to bring their father back into the kitchen.

"Look, I'm alright Wakko, see? I just talk too much. Eat your breakfast – I'll take you guys to the park." He sat down to eat the now cold breakfast. He hated cold eggs and mystery meat, the way the grease congealed on the top and sides…

Shaking his head, he looked at his sister, who was slowly stopping her crying. He picked the bottle back up, wiped it off, and handed it back to her. She began to gnaw on the nipple. Wakko, sniffing, watched his brother, and when Yakko, swallowing a grimace of disgust, forked a spoonful of eggs into his mouth, he followed suit, quietly wiping his eyes.

Breakfast was finished in silence.

And neither of them ate the meat product.

XXXXXXXXXX

After the delightful scene in the kitchen, Yakko thought it was probably a good idea to get everyone cleaned up and out of the apartment for awhile – at least while his parents were sobering up.

While Wakko, still sitting in the chair in his pajamas, played some game with Dot only the two of them understood, Yakko piled the dishes into the sink – he could do them later, when the others went down for a nap.

Glad to see at least Dot grinning, Yakko quickly got her out of the highchair, and nodding to Wakko to come on, walked down the hall to their room.

Sitting Dot on the bed, Yakko quickly helped his brother get changed from worn pajamas to a worn pair of overalls. He quickly changed himself, throwing on his khakis that were a size too big and his shirt, and then remembered – all of Dot's things were in his parent's room.

Darn. Now what?

At the very least, she needed to be changed. No help for it – much as he was afraid he was taking a death walk, he had to go in and grab her things. He turned to Wakko, standing next to the bed and peering over the top at Dot, and got an idea.

"Wakko – I need your help."

Wakko looked at him, half in confusion and half in delight.

"I need to go into Mom and Dad's room to get some things for Dot." The previous two looks were replaced by terror on his small face. "I want to see if you can help me."

To Wakko's credit, he didn't run or start crying. He took a gulp, but nodded his head. Excellent.

"We have to play the silent sibling game." Another befuddled look. "I need you to keep Dot quiet. And yourself." Remembering the chocolate in his pajamas pocket, he added, "If you can keep really really quiet – even quieter than me – you'll win! And I'll have a prize for you."

This seemed to cheer him up – he grinned and began to hoist himself up onto the bed with his sister. Yakko shot him a grin of his own and left the bedroom, keeping the door open so that he could hear if anything happened.

He tiptoed across the hall quietly, and when he reached his parents' door, he laid his ear against it, listening. Other than snores and an occasional grunt, he did not hear anything that would indicate the occupants were awake. Nervous, he placed his hand on the knob and turned it, slowly pushing the door open, wincing at the squeaking noise that sounded a hundred times louder than it actually was.

Sticking his head into the room, he first looked at the bed. His father lay on his back, legs splayed, snoring loudly. He then looked at his mother, dressed in what one could only call "lingerie" – skimpy red silk kimono style dress, torn stockings, and six inch stilettos. While she could be just as nasty as Dad when sleeping it off, she did have her moments. She apparently had just gone to sleep – there was still a half-smoked cigarette in her hand – and she was draped across their father's chest.

His mother. She had been a beautiful toon. She still was, in a way, Yakko thought, looking at her in the dim room. Beautiful in a rough way. Life had been hard on Ophelia Warner.

At sixteen, she had left home, against her family's wishes, and had made her way to Hollywood, seeking to become the lead in a new cartoon series being done by Hanna-Barbera entertainment.

One of the more promising young singers and dancers that had come to Hollywood during that time, she thought she would be a shoe in for the part.

With the voice and legs that other woman, toons or human, could only dream of, and an exquisite face with large emerald eyes, framed with long wavy hair, men would actually stare when she walked down the street. She grew used to the wolf whistles and cat calls.

She knew she was beautiful, and used it to her advantage – men ate out of her hand. But she spread herself a little too thin, began to get the label of "loose" attached to her. She angered many of the female toons. Slowly, quality of men and acquaintances dropped.

In the meantime, Hanna-Barbera had chosen to go a different route with the cartoon, opting for human toons instead of cats, and Ophelia was out.

Having angered many of the toons in Hollywood, she had an impossible task of finding a job. Disney wouldn't touch a soiled toon of her caliber, no matter what she looked like or the amount of talent she possessed. She had not saved a dime of any money she had borrowed from her family or friends, and rent was going to be coming due.

When she caught his eye, Slacko instantly wanted her, down on her luck or not. From what Yakko could make out from the few times he was told of this romantic pairing, a couple of dinners, an offer for her to stay at his place, and a few sympathetic words from the fast talking Slacko were all it took for Ophelia to jump into his arms and his bed.

Mom came cheap it seemed.

A few months of this, and it was discovered that she was pregnant. Unfortunately for her, abortions were not available for toons. A toons body could only handle certain types of abuse; their bodies are not designed for it. Doctors and animators had been studying it for years, and could only come up with toons inner parts were simply too thin to sustain that type of abuse. An attempt to abort was a death sentence for a toon.

She was forced to have the baby.

Her father, a large man, along with her equally large uncle, came and beat the reluctant bridegroom Slacko into submission. While it was hardly the wedding of the century, it was legal, and Ophelia Pete became Ophelia Warner within minutes. After this, her family had cut all ties – she played, she paid. She wanted to live her life – here it was.

Seven months later, Yakko had been born.

Shaking his head to clear his trip down memory lane, Yakko came back to the task at hand – diapers and clothing for his baby sister. He turned his head back briefly to make sure Wakko and Dot were still OK on the bed. Wakko was holding Dot, who was chewing on his ear, and Wakko was craning his neck to see around Yakko. Not wanting his brother to see his parents in this bad a condition, he waved his hand for Wakko to move back.

For once, bless him, Wakko not only understood, but obeyed. He really wanted that prize.

Stealing his resolve, he crouched down and headed to the cardboard box under the crib, where all of the baby items were stored. Not really remembering how many were in there from his trip earlier in the morning, he prayed that there were some supplies in it.

Amazed that his luck was holding, he looked into the box to see several diapers, along with half a tub of wipes.

Life was good.

While his parents continued to sleep, he grabbed two diapers, the wipes, and a clean outfit for Dot, and crept back out of the room, silently closing the door behind him.

Not realizing he had been holding his breath, he exhaled as soon as he got into the hall, relief flooding through him for having come out of that alive.

Upon entering his bedroom, he noticed that Wakko was quietly bouncing gently on the bed while his sister chewed on his ear.

Seeing Yakko, he asked, "Did I win?"

"Yep – sure did Wakko! Great job kiddo!"

Wakko looked delighted, and watched with happy eyes as Yakko picked up his discarded pajama pants and reached into the pocket. Yakko broke off the first row of the bar of chocolate and handed it to his brother, who, with a small cry, began to happily chew on it while Yakko hid the rest of the bar and the second bar in the battered dresser drawer.

With any luck, this chocolate would last a while – who knew when or if they would ever see anymore.

He set about getting Dot changed and ready while Wakko enjoyed his prize. After Dot was ready, he looked, sighed, and set about washing the chocolate off Wakko's hands and face.

Yakko got the feeling that he was the only one in the entire apartment that knew how to put the food into his mouth.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko was always nervous leaving the apartment after dusk – he refused to think about who might be lurking around the darkened hallways and alleys. But during the day, he had much less fear – the sun was shining, it was a nice day, and all the drug addicts, boozehounds, and shady ladies had crawled off to whatever hole they called home; waiting until the sun fell to stagger back out for another performance.

The park wasn't much really – an old swing set, a slide, a see-saw that he had serious reservations about, and a rocket shaped play set from the 1950's that he refused to let Wakko play on. But it was the only real open area in this section of town where they could stretch out, play, and relax. He sat down against a tree. Yakko placed Dot on the grass directly in front of him, and he let Wakko go off to play on the swings, with strict instructions not to get out of his sight. He suppressed a shudder at the thought of what Wakko could run into out there.

As he leaned against the tree, he smelled something – sickingly sweet and cloying – cheap perfume, like Mom wore. She never wore it this strong though. His ears perked up; he heard two ladies talking behind him. He shook his head in annoyance – couldn't they keep their habits out of the park? There were kids around.

"-but then she said to me – Velvet, you spend too much time up around that place. I said, library's the best place to meet men, love – intelligent men make more money."

Her friend laughed – "Intelligent men? 'Round here? Ha- the only books the idiots want around here have no articles and lots 'o pictures!"

The two women laughed, and Yakko strained to listen in on this suddenly fascinating conversation – a library? Where? Surely not around here? And these two women, with their horrible speech knew about it? He had not explored the neighborhood as well as he probably could have, but with it being a rather unfriendly place, not to mention looking after his siblings, he had not had the time to take an extended tour. His parents certainly would not know about a library...

Grabbing his sister and calling Wakko over, who looked terribly disappointed to be called back from his play so early, he headed back to the bushes where he heard the woman, still talking but moving further away. They were heading out of the park.

"Excuse me? Excuse me!" he called as he grabbed Wakko's hand and began to pull him after the two women. Wakko looked at him, a bit stunned.

"Thought we weren't supposed to talk to strangers?" He asked, tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth.

"It's an exception." Yakko told him hurriedly, still trotting and dragging his little family along.

"Why?"

"It could be important," he answered. Where had they gone? He thought he would be able to track them just from the stench alone...

"Why?"

"Because we could have something new to do."

His mother had taught him to read when he was younger, before she became too addled with drink and bitterness. He, personally, loved to read, and snatched up anything he could find, whether it was a book, the back of a box, or a discarded newspaper in the trash.

He already knew the task of teaching the younger Warners' to read was going to fall to him. With maybe a total of seven books in the house, including the dictionary, a cook book, and a fashion magazine from several years ago, he imagined that his siblings were not going to be going gaga trying to learn. But if he could find something interesting to lure them...

"Why?"

"Wakko, please, just be quiet for another minute, OK?"

"Why?"

With a groan, he continued to trot after the two women, Wakko barely keeping up. They finally noticed the boy, and stopped, looked at each other with a grin, and waited for him to catch up.

"Whatcha want boy? Been a bit busy if ya got two already, eh? Looking for more?"

"Ya got money for it what's I like to know, what with the two mouths already!"

The two women laughed, and Yakko, a bit embarrassed and annoyed with the women and their crude comments, asked, "I heard you mention a library back in the park..."

"Spying on us laddie?"

_You can only wish_, he thought. "No madam, I was simply keeping watch over my siblings here at the park, and while I was being distracted by your grace I caught - "

Wakko had suddenly decided to become quite a chatterbox. Pulling on Yakko's hand until he looked down, he proclaimed:

"Yakko, these ladies smell like Mummy! Their not going to pass out on Daddy to are they?" Pointing at the garishly garbed blond fox, he said, "She's really pretty! I'd lay on her!"

With this stunning announcement, he promptly closed his mouth, tongue still hanging out the right side. Yakko closed his eyes, hoping that the ground would swallow him, while the women roared in laughter. Thankfully, Dot was sleeping through this, not that she would understand any of it anyway.

Giving his brother a glare, he said "Forgive my brother madam, he's very young."

"Come now boy, he's got good taste." Revolted, Yakko watched as the woman with the bad dye job crouched down to talk to his brother. The other woman, a red-headed fox, adjusted her top to hang just a little to low.

_Spew_.

"So little man, what are you doing out here today?"

Wakko, a little taken aback with this new turn of events, gasped and promptly shoved his little face into Yakko's leg.

So much for the chatterbox.

"I'm sorry ma'm, he's very shy." Trying not to look too revolted by the overpowering smell of her perfume, he asked, "Could you please tell me the way to the library?"

"You one 'o them intelligent types huh?"

"Oh me? Well, I certainly like to expand my mind – that, and I hear you can meet some lovely ladies at the library." It was a struggle to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but he must have succeeded. The lady looked flattered.

"What did I tell ya?" She asked, nudging her friend. "Some good ones do hang out down at the library!"

She bent down a bit more to put her hand on his cheek. Yakko meanwhile, still struggling not to gag, refrained from asking her if she used the perfume to cover the fact that she just didn't bathe.

"Well sweetums, if you want to get to the library, go back through the park, and head east on Lilac Lane – you know where that is?" Yakko nodded. "Good. Get to Primrose, and go left. Keep going left until you see the "All Night Liquor and Tan" – library is at the end of the block."

Dizzy with excitement and catching a buzz off the perfume, Yakko gave his thanks and practically ran from the two women, dragging Wakko with him. As Wakko shouted his protest, stating that he wanted to return to the park, the women shrugged and continued on their way.

It had been difficult to convince Wakko to not return to the park to play, promising something better (and bribing him with the thought of more chocolate when he got home), he had managed to get it done, and as Yakko spotted the "All Night Liquor and Tan", he was feeling quite pleased with himself. He simply hoped it was a decent library and not some cruel joke.

It was in a rougher section of town than where they lived, but again, it looked like most of the troublemakers were off elsewhere, for he saw very little traffic – vehicular or 'toon.

Sighing with relief, he spotted the sign saying "Toontown Library #26 - Plympton District". Hardly daring to become too excited, but unable to do so, he climbed the steps, Wakko in tow. Dot was awake now, and looking around, curious about this new place.

Entering the library, Yakko resisted the urge to throw himself on the ground and kiss the carpet. It was a decent one – it looked like thousands of books lined the walls and shelves. Off in a back corner room, he could see a section marked as "children". Painted cheery yellow, it looked like six or seven 'toon kids were back there, reading and playing.

Now convinced this was the stuff dreams are made of, he led Wakko, who had a rather curious look on his face, back to the kid's section. If Wakko picked out a few books, he could read them to him later – it would be better than letting him constantly watch television.

Yakko perused the titles in the children's section himself – amused by some of them, rather interested in others. Wakko had discovered the section on trucks, and was happily looking at those.

Meanwhile, Yakko's sharp eyes had noticed another section on the far wall – Cartoon Theory. He had heard about it, but never even considered the possibility that any of them would actually learn it. The Warners' were far to poor to afford a tutor. Besides, you had to have parents who cared enough to teach you, and you had to be born with the talent.

Everyone knew the Warners' didn't have any talent, unless you could count being drunks or crooks a talent. But still, it couldn't hurt to read about it.

He turned around to see what his brother was doing, and noticed he was eating a book – cover and all. They were going to get kicked out of here.

"Wakko, what are you doing?" he hissed at him, taking the book from his hands. _The __Hungry Little Caterpillar_. Funny.

"I'm hungry." Wakko answered, looking at Yakko like he just grew a third head.

"You can't be hungry – you just ate."

Grumbling that he was still hungry, Wakko turned to look for another book. Dot watched all this with wide eyes, every now and then making a grab for one of Yakko's ears.

Impatient to look at the theory section, Yakko debated on going over and leaving Wakko in this section. It looked safe enough – there were plenty of other children around, even some parents. It was a library, what could happen?

"Hey, Wakko", he said, grabbing the boy's attention. Wakko had found a book on dogs.

"I'm going to go right across the aisle, over there, you see? You think you can stay here by yourself?"

Wakko solemnly nodded his head.

Pleased, Yakko grinned. "I'm keeping Dot with me. Anything happens, you yell and I'll come running, OK? And don't leave this area."

Wakko nodded again, then returned to his book.

Yakko turned, and, with a final look, went to the aisle. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was already 10:39 – the morning was going quick. Sooner or later they were going to have to head home, if nothing else for lunch.

Jelly sandwiches, yum.

Standing in the middle of the row so he could keep an eye on Wakko, his eyes started skimming the titles: "_Cartoon Etiquette"_; "_Anvils_ _and How To Make Them Work For You At Home and on the Job_"; "_The Magical Mallet_"; "_Gags, Puns and Witticisms – When and How_"; "_Escape from the Disney Curse_", "_Your Hammerspace and You_"... Yakko was stunned – which one to chose first?

Turning again to check on Wakko, who was still looking at the picture book, he looked at Dot, and grinned, saying "Interested in learning Cartoon Etiquette Dottie?"

The infant slapped at his nose, and he turned back to the shelf to continue looking at the titles. Wishing he had a basket to load these books into, he grabbed several titles, including "_Cartoon Theory for Complete and Utter Morons_". He didn't consider himself a moron of any sort, but thought it might be a good place to start.

Wakko was still immersed in his picture book, and he saw more theory books on the other side of the aisle, out of view of the children's section. Wondering if he could get away with sneaking just a glance around the aisle he turned to look at Wakko again. Still looking at the pictures – it was one of those pop-up picture books, and Wakko was laughing at whatever just sprang up in his face.

_Just one little look_, Yakko thought. _Wakko wasn't even looking, they were in a safe public place_...

Yakko decided to take the plunge, and stepped around the shelf. Another whole case filled with books on theory. Amazing. But he couldn't look at them all – it could take hours...

Even more curious titles though: "_Tunnel Painting and You_"; "_Cross Dressing to Fool Your Enemies: Do's and Don'ts_"; "_You_ _Won't Fall Off A Cliff If You Don't Look Down and 101 Other Cartoon Phenomena Discussed_"; and "_The Lost Art of Pie Throwing_".

Yakko continued to browse the titles, while Dot put her head down on his shoulder and went to sleep. So involved was he in the titles, looking at each book, trying to decide which one he would like to bring home to read first, he failed to notice time slipping away.

Surprising himself, he reached the end of the section. He had four books – great big volumes of knowledge he couldn't wait to dive into later when he was alone, that he didn't notice he was at the other end of the aisle – how long was he over here?

Looking at the clock, he saw he had been over there for well over an hour – it was 12:04 PM. With a small start, he dashed around the aisle to look in the children's section, and didn't see Wakko – _oh no_...

"Wakko?" he called quietly, gaining a few looks from annoyed library patrons.

_Oh no oh no oh no...Please, where is he_?

Still clutching Dot and the books, he ran the rest of the way to the children's section.

What had be been _thinking_? He was so _stupid_ – he knew better than to leave him alone, he was too little, he was supposed to protect him, if anything happened to him he'd never forgive himself...

With his mind filled with horrible visions and thoughts, he skidded into the children's area, almost dumping himself and Dot on the ground. Dot, who had woken up, seemed to think this was a new game and squealed with delight.

Looking around, he saw the pile of books Wakko had been looking at, complete with the one with a bite mark, sitting on the floor. But where was –

"Hi Yakko."

Sweet relief flooded Yakko as he heard the squeaky voiced Liverpoolian accent. Looking down, he saw Wakko standing by his leg, holding a cookie in each hand.

"Wakko! Oh thank you thank you thank you." He bent down to give his brother a hug, dropping his books and crumbling the cookies in the process. "Oh, sorry about that." He looked at Wakko, and said firmly, "I told you not to take anything from strangers, Wakko."

Wakko shrugged. "There's more. She's not a stranger – Grandmother SweetStrudel is having story time."

Having no idea who or what a Grandmother SweetStrudel was, and not sure he had any desire to fill this gap in his general knowledge, Yakko gave him a noncommittal nod, and stood, picking up books in the process.

"Listen children, Grandmother is about to read the story!" Came a goofy sing-song voice, and Yakko turned just in time to see a fat egg-like man dressed in the most ridiculous elf costume he could imagine, prancing across the green carpet.

Then, he saw the fattest human toon lady he had ever seen sitting in a chair. From the size of her, Yakko seriously doubted that there were any cookies left, and gave his brother a look. His brother was covered in crumbs – probably would look pretty appetizing to SweetPuff or whatever her name was, better get him out of there before –

"Come on little boy – have a cookie and some punch and listen to the story!" He felt a hand grasp his arm, wrenching him forward with such violence that he almost dropped Dot. He was sent flying into a crowd of little boys and girls, all clamoring for a story.

Among this group was his brother, who now had more cookies. Where was he getting them from?

Wakko looked like he had just discovered a treasure and held one out to him. Yakko, figuring that if he was stuck here, he might as well get something to eat out of it, took it. He looked over his brother's head and noticed the sign - "Grandmother SweetStrudel's Happy Afternoon Tales, brought to you by The Society for The Betterment of Contemptible Toons".

He broke the cookie in half and gave one of the pieces to Dot, who promptly began to gnaw on it. After she was finished getting it all sticky and gummy, she began to happily rub it into her hair.

Yakko looked at her and just sighed as Grandmother SweetStrudel began telling a story about gingerbread houses and breadcrumbs.

XXXXXXXXXX

After spending two of the most boring hours of his life listening to fairy tales, he was able to leave. It wasn't all bad – he and Wakko got four books each, plus Yakko chose two books to read to Dot. Not to mention, they had a nutritionally unsound, but none the less satisfying, lunch of cookies and punch.

Jelly sandwiches for dinner then.

After getting what he could of the cookie out of Dot's hair and fur, he went up to the library counter with the books. He wasn't exactly sure how this would work. The lady behind the counter, a bored looking ostrich, merely raised an eyebrow at the book with the bite taken out of it, told him he needed to fill out the application for a library card, and he could take the books home for up to two weeks. They could even get more if they brought them back early.

Looking at the application, he saw that a parent or legal guardian needed to sign. Drat. He wasn't sure both his parents brains were together enough anymore to remember how to sign their names. Not to mention, they weren't even here.

Thinking quickly, he asked, "My mom and dad are not here right now – could you please hold these books, and I can get them to sign this later, maybe come back tomorrow?" He could forge this later if need be - it would not be the first time he had to forge their name on something.

The woman looked at him. Maybe she was in a good mood. Maybe Yakko, looking excited but exhausted, holding a baby with one arm and a toddler's hand with another, looked so charming and pathetic that she just couldn't help herself. Maybe it was the end of her shift and she simply didn't care.

She said, "Tell you what – I'll sign you up, and you can take the books with you. In the meantime, you get your mom to sign that permission slip and bring it back, directly to me, when you come back."

Yakko, who felt this was probably the best day of his life, agreed, and gave her the requested information, promising to return the next day if need be to bring her the signature. He was told that was not necessary - just make sure to bring it back to her.

Delighted, Yakko took the books, and, with a final smile and wave, left the library, Wakko holding onto his pants leg.

XXXXXXXXXX

After a dreadful walk home – both Wakko and Dot missed nap time and were driving him insane with the fussing and whining – Yakko put Dot and Wakko in his bed, and went to sit in the living room to begin reading his books.

Mom and Dad were still snoring in their room.

As he thought about the situation in the library today, he learned one lesson – don't ever let small children out of your sight. He couldn't believe he had been that stupid, and even now, hours later, was furious with himself for doing that. Would have waiting an extra ten minutes for Wakko to pick out a book have killed him?

With a snort of disgust at himself, he stretched out on the lumpy couch, "_How Being a Loony 'Toon Can Save Your Life_" in his lap. Wakko and Dot would sleep for several hours, he should be able to get deep into the book before they awoke.

Thankful for the break, he settled back and began reading.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, Yakko looked up to see his mother shambling into the living room, hair disheveled and still dressed in the previous evening's designer outfit, minus stockings and heels. Relighting the cigarette, her eyes fell onto her oldest child, and she moved to sit down next to him.

Old beer, cheap perfume, and stale cigarette smells wafted off of her. Separately the spells made him sick - combined it was almost more than he could bear.

To himself, he made one vow - he was never, ever, going to drink. Ever.

"What are you doing sweetie?"

_Of all the idiotic questions…_

"Reading Mom. I found the library."

His mother looked surprised. "I didn't know we had a library around here."

_The day was just full of surprises_.

"If I had known you were looking for one sweetie, I would have found you one. I forget you are one of _those_ types."

Since he sincerely doubted that, and unsure what "_type_" she was referring to, he chose to change the subject. "How are you feeling Mom?"

"Oh honey, you would not believe the headache I have -" Yakko closed the book, marking his place with a rolling paper he found on the floor, and proceeded to at least look interested while his mother continued on this vein for a few minutes, making sure to nod his head and feign sympathy at the right moments, which was mostly when she turned to look at him. The rest of the time he was struggling not to yawn or make faces at her turned back.

"What did you do today with your brother and sister? I was so worried when I checked and could not find you in the house."

Shocked back into the conversation by this line, Yakko replied again, "I found where the library was, and took them with me. We sat through Grandmother SweetStrudel's Happy Afternoon Tales, rented a few books, and ate a lunch of cookies and punch. So sorry you were concerned about us - you were sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you."

The fine art of sarcasm was lost on his mother it seemed.

"Oh, that's wonderful honey! And you are so thoughtful! Though you should not be wandering around this neighborhood alone - and a lunch of cookies! You three can't eat cookies for lunch! You will just have to have a good dinner! I will cook you up one right now!"

With this rather stunning statement, his mother stood up, swayed, and shambled off toward the kitchen. Yakko watched her go, wondering what she was talking about. The last he checked, there was part of a loaf of bread, some jelly, a bit of Dot's formula, a few eggs and some government cheese.

Choking back visions of a jelly and formula omelet with toast, he quickly got off the couch.

Maybe, just maybe, she had gone to the store…

Yakko followed his mother into the kitchen. His jaw dropped when he saw that she had done the dishes. He could still see food caked in certain places on the plates, and Dot's bottle could hardly be what one would call "_clean_", but she had made an effort.

He would admit that he was wrong; the day was full of shocks after all.

As his mother began to pull items out of the refrigerator, he sat in a chair to watch her.

Cigarette still dangling from her lips, she had her back to him, and was pulling pans and bowls out of the lower cabinets, long black hair swaying around her hips. He watched her through lidded eyes, wondering how life had taken such a turn and she ended up with a man like Slacko Warner. A little too full of herself apparently, many bad decisions, being saddled with a baby at seventeen – he often wondered how his mother would have fared if the show had worked out, if she had never run into Slacko Warner – would she still be a silly, vain woman? Would he still have been born, to a different father sure, but would he still be him? How about his siblings – how would they be different? He knew they were odd looking, even for 'toons -

"What books were you reading dear?"

Brought out of his musings, Yakko answered, "Toon Theory Mom. I've wondered about it for awhile." Curious, he asked, "Do you know anything about it?"

She laughed, a tinkling bell like sound, until the rasping smoker's cough broke in. "Me? Oh no, no – I wasn't born with that talent. That's your father's department. Very special. But I can dance though, and sing – oh honey – I'm so good at it! I'm one of the best you know! Why, I bet I could have sung for Disney, if only -" she broke off with a dramatic sigh.

_Glad to see mom is so modest_, Yakko thought.

So, his father huh? He thought about that, and snickered to himself at the mental picture of his father pulling bottle after bottle of cheap whiskey out of thin air, while mother sang, danced and drank.

Hearing a soft humming sound, he almost mastered bugging his eyes on the first attempt when he looked up and saw his mother swaying with a silly smile on her face. Oh no, was she having a seizure?

"-I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam..."

Was she...singing? In the kitchen, using a wooden spoon as a faux microphone? Yakko supposed she could still be drunk. Or maybe she was smoking some of that "wacky tobacky" he had heard them mention?

Either way, he had to admit, she had been right – she had a lovely voice – clear, strong, rich, despite the years of heavy drinking and smoking and who knew what other abuses she put her body through. He would never have guessed. And she picked a good song – it was one of his favorites, having watched "Disney's Sleeping Beauty" many times on the television when they could get a good signal.

He continued to watch her as she went from simply swaying in time to the music to actually doing Briar Rose's dance. Maybe he was biased because she was his mother, but he thought she was excellent. He stood up from the chair and leaned on the counter to watch her better – she had her eyes half closed, head tilted back, and a slight smile on her face as she relived lost dreams and broken youth.

As she continued to sing and twirl around the floor, Yakko noticed that she was dancing toward him, and getting to the part where Prince Philip begins to sing.

_Surely not..._

Gliding past him, she picked him up along the way and continued singing.

Yakko threw his arms around her neck and locked his legs as he almost tumbled over while she started to drag him around the kitchen. He relaxed slightly when she held on to his waist with her left hand. She unhooked his small left hand from her neck and held it with her right. He was tall for his age, but he still had to stand almost on his toes to reach her. His mother had not stopped dancing as he struggled to get into a good position with her. When he did, he looked at her with shocked eyes as she gave him a sad smile and continued to lead as they danced the waltz.

It was a rare but treasured mother and son moment.

"But if I know you, I know what you'll do, and you'll love me at once," she trilled, giving him an encouraging smile. Yakko, used to giving all the attention, decided to abandon his more serious side for a few moments and cherish the attention he was getting.

Hesitantly, his young high voice joined hers.

"The way you did once upon a dream..."

Still smiling at him, he continued with the male solo, a bit more sure of himself this time:

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream; I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam..."

They continued to sing the chorus together, still dancing across the kitchen floor, dust and discarded bags blowing to the sides as they delicately stepped and twirled.

When they finished, Yakko looked at his mother, who actually looked – proud? Happy? Satisfied?

She let got of his hands and gave him a hug, a rare thing for her, which he returned, and they stayed that way for several minutes, standing in the middle of a dirty kitchen in a cramped apartment in the Plympton Ghetto in ToonTown.

XXXXXXXXXX

After a dinner of what had been a plain omelet, having convinced her that he would simply like the jelly on his toast, he returned to the couch, where he opened his book and continued where he had left off – pulling a mallet out of thin air and other life saving techniques.

Fascinating ideas – some concentration, and a bit of the correct "toon" genes, train your brain to have a suspension of belief, and you could literally pull almost anything out of a hat; or the back of your shirt, or an enemy's ear, or whatever.

Reading on, he found an interesting idea about this: certain 'toons, born to the correct lines, could potentially have what is knows as the "Schlesinger Syndrome". Most of these toons, the "talented" ones so to speak, could go to work for any studio – apparently toons born to these lines were rare and respected. A lot of the first 'toons with these talents ended up at Termite Terrace.

There was a chapter on the "less fortunate" toons – some of these ended up at Disney, Paramount, Hanna-Barbera...if they found work at all.

It then delved into the fascinating history and talents of some of animation's biggest names – Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd...toons who could pull objects out of whatever happened to be handy, bodies that could take abuse after abuse and simply bounce back, change clothing with a simple spin, even warp the environment around them in some cases.

It took a lot of practice and hard work though – Mr. Bunny, for instance, had studied for several years on his own, teamed up with some other toons to begin to refine these skills in all of them, and even by the age of forty, still was learning and growing into these talents.

Apparently the book he was reading now was written using some of Mr. Bunny's original essays and studies.

He was jolted out of his reading by a shriek of laughter and giggling – Mom was apparently in a very loving mood tonight, and was feeding Wakko and Dot, who had woken up awhile ago, in the kitchen. She had been singing to them as well before, Wakko sitting in a chair trying to sing along while Dot giggled and clapped in her highchair.

Happy that Mom was paying some attention to them and he could take a small break, Yakko returned to his reading when he heard a door open. Dad was up.

Remembering the scene in the kitchen from earlier this morning, Yakko kept his head down like he was reading his book but looked out of the corner of his eye to the hallway. Best to know where he was at all times.

His father, bleary eyed and shuffling, came into view, still wearing the stained shirt and black slacks from earlier. Yakko looked up to see his father standing over him. One eye was almost swollen shut now, and his busted lip told Yakko that he had mouthed off to the wrong person last night.

"What are you doing boy?"

_Had no one in this house heard of a book before?_

Probably not smart to say that with him so close.

"Reading Dad – I found the library."

"You didn't need to find it – it's right down on Primrose." As always, his father was being extremely helpful. "Should have asked boy, instead of thinking you know every damn thing."

Yakko wisely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Sorry Dad," he said, sounding as contrite as he could under the circumstances.

His father gave a huff, and sat down on the end of the couch, not looking at him.

"Your mouth OK?"

Shocked speechless, Yakko looked at him. Was he serious, or was this some sort of trick question? Hard to tell...

"It's fine Dad. Thank you for asking."

"Your Mom bitched about me hitting you. Sorry."

He didn't sound particularly sorry but he said the words, and then Yakko noticed that his mother was peering around the kitchen doorway watching. She nodded at these words, then disappeared to play mother some more to her two youngest.

Suddenly, his mother's words from a few hours ago came floating back to him:

"_Me? Oh no, no – I wasn't born with that talent. That's your father's department. Very special."_

There was no way his beer soaked dad could possibly... Yakko had an idea – probably the stupidest idea of his life, but an idea nonetheless. How to phrase this...

"Hey Dad."

Slacko turned to look at his son. "Yeah?"

_Here goes..._

"I was talking to Mom earlier. I got some books on 'toon theory – she said you were quite talented in that depar-"

"Damn woman doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut..."

Figuring that was never a good way to get off a father and son conversation, Yakko quickly looked back down at his book, barely moving his head to look up every few seconds to make sure he could attempt to avoid any outbreak of violence from his father.

"Course I'm talented boy! That's the stupidest statement I've heard!"

_Ho boy_...

"What sort of talk is that? Think we got some of that inferior genes and blood in us? Do you know who you are descended from? Do you? The great Kokko Warner!" his father looked at him with what he supposed could be called a pleased face. "Could have been a big star, couldn't he? If his lousy brother…"

Yakko had no idea what he was talking about, but if it kept him happy...

"I got the talent - and you will too, you all will! I could have been a big star - descended from that sort of talent - having a family got in the way of that didn't it?"

Slacko looked over, saw Yakko's dumbfounded look, and grew angry.

"Kokko! Dammit boy – you read all those damn books, and don't know about him?"

All what books? He just found the library today. Oh, why did he open his big mouth?

"Come here!"

Standing up quickly, he snatched at Yakko's arm. Yakko tried to twist away, but wasn't quick enough, and Slacko had him in his grip.

_He's flipped and he's going to kill me_, he thought as he dropped the book on the floor.

His mother stuck her head out of the kitchen holding Dot, who was making grabs at the lit cigarette in her mother's mouth, and waved.

But instead of the implied violence, his father began dragging him back to his bedroom, a rather deranged look in his eye.

"I'll show you – make you proud of your heritage – act like your ashamed of being a Warner-"

The rest of his sentence was broken off in incoherent mumbling and Yakko, who had never thought about any such thing up to that point, simply hoped he hadn't gone off the deep end.

Arriving at the bedroom, his father kicked open the door, sending it slamming back into the bedroom wall and showering plaster from the ceiling down on them. He slammed the door back shut, and began muttering. Letting go of Yakko, his father dropped to his knees and leaned over, beginning to look under the bed he had so recently vacated.

Yakko, unsure if he should stay to watch, help, or just run, was rooted to the spot in horrified fascination, watching him toss all manner of objects from under the bed over his shoulder. Including a sheep, an anvil, and various other items that should not fit under the bed.

Blinking, Yakko watched the sheep hit the floor, bleat, and run headfirst into the door. It then fell over, stunned, and lay there letting out a pathetic moan of a bleat before disappearing before his eyes.

Yakko still had not moved. His mother had not been crazy; dad at least had some rudimentary talent.

"Got it! Damn it I found it!"

Yanked back to reality, Yakko looked up at his father to see him holding a scrapbook that had obviously seen better days.

Curiosity mixed with trepidation, Yakko inched closed to his father, anxious to see what he had, but really not wanting to get too close to him – both for safety and smell. He eyed him like one might eye a wounded wild animal.

"What is it Dad?" he asked.

"Your history stupid."

"Oh" was all he could think of to reply to this. It's got to be the drink talking. He hoped his dad would not take to long – it was hot in there, and he wanted to get back to his book.

His father thrust the moldy scrapbook at him.

"Read that if you're so keen on reading something. Probably learn more from that than any book from your fancy library."

Yakko had doubts about that, but said, "Thank you dad. I'll make it my top priority."

His father looked at him, grunted, and told him to leave.

Yakko, happy to oblige such a simple request, took the grimy book and retreated to the relative safety of the living room.

Retreating back in the living room, Yakko saw his brother sitting on the couch, holding his bunny in one hand and something else he could not see. He looked relatively happy though. His mother was in the bathroom, still singing. Must be getting ready to go out for a big night again. Hearing giggles and laughs muffled behind the door, he guessed she had Dot in there with her.

"Whatcha doing Wakko?" he asked him, sitting down beside him and picking up his book.

He placed the scrapbook on the floor under the couch. Maybe he would look at it later…

"Waiting for you - wanna watch?" he asked, holding up a movie. One of the old movies their parents got from somewhere or another.

"Which one you got tonight?" Yakko asked, taking the tape from him and looking at the green box. Same one as last night - out of the nine movies they had, it was Wakko's current favorite, and one of his as well.

Putting the tape in the VCR, he tried to ignore the clicking noises the aged machine made and waited patiently for the television to warm up, listening to the tubes inside begin to hum as they popped to life.

Wakko crawled into his lap, and Yakko rested his chin on top of his head, as the television sprang to life, and music began to play. His brother began to laugh before anything was really on the TV, already anticipating the jokes to come.

He heard the bedroom door open, and his parents came out into the living room. Yakko noticed they were both in different clothing - mom in ragged jeans and sweatshirt, dad in a stained wife beater and cut off shorts.

They were going to do the beggar routine tonight it seemed. Well, if the condition of his father's face was any indication, the high stakes blackjack player bit had not gone as planned last night.

Well, as long as they brought food home in the morning Yakko didn't really much care how they did it.

Mom came over to give a kiss on the forehead to Yakko and Wakko. At least right now, all Yakko could smell was the customary cheap perfume and cigarettes.

"Don't stay up too late dears. Dot is already asleep."

"Right Mom. Be careful." Yakko replied. Wakko took the kiss, then leaned over, almost falling off his brother's lap to see the TV. The quiet man with the harp would be on TV soon - Wakko loved him…

"Remember that book, Yakko. It's been passed down from every Warner father and son - you had better be careful with it…you don't want to see how pissed I'm going to be if anything happens to it," his father added, and with a final look, followed his wife out the door.

_You got that right_, Yakko thought.

As soon as the door shut, Yakko settled back into the couch, Wakko got comfortable on his lap, and then he heard Dot start crying.

Muttering under his breath, he moved Wakko onto the cushion, and went to his parents' room, where Dot was sitting up in her crib, bawling.

Feeling a sense of deja vu, he slid the rail down, picked her up, and while she slowly stopped crying, carried her into the living room. He settled down on the ragged couch, Dot on his lap, and Wakko crawled back over to rest against him.

Thinking about the books on the floor, including the book his father gave him, he decided to enjoy the movie with his siblings, and read them later. It had been a rather interesting day, and he would like the time to think and digest the flood of information that had come at him.

Wakko began giggling again, Dot joining in simply because of the atmosphere, and Yakko put his arm around his brother, pulling him in tight, as he watched his favorite character in the movie begin to dance as his signature song was sung by the cast.

"_Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African Explorer…"_

End Chapter One


	2. Chapter 2

-1Thank you everyone for your kind reviews – they really do mean a lot.

Special thanks to my friend Dane for letting me bounce ideas off him and to _DancesWithCorpses_ for offering to be my beta and having to read my wretched spelling.

Enjoy.

_Chapter 2: - Memories and a Big Mouth -_

Two hours later, both of them were asleep. Finally, some well deserved quiet time.

Yakko stood up, balancing Dot on his left hip, and made his way to his parents' room, leaving Wakko on the couch, curled up on the middle cushion.

As Dot slept and drooled on his shirt, he turned on the light and looked at the room. Still filthy. With a sigh, he placed her in the crib. She didn't move – hopefully she would sleep through most of the night before waking him up.

Leaving the door open, he went back to the living room to get Wakko, making sure to bring the stuffed bunny with him. Wakko would wake up screaming if it was not beside him. Carrying him to their bed, Yakko looked at the time – 9:06 P.M. He was tired, and debated on going to bed himself, but thought about his books. Then he remembered the book his father gave him.

A bit curious about his history, and what his father was raving about earlier, he thought back to the conversation.

"_Kokko! Dammit boy – you read all those damn books, and don't know about him?"_

With a shrug, he decided to go back to the living room and open the book. Who knows, maybe he might find something interesting. If not, he could always return to one of his other books.

Feeling a little guilty, he tucked Wakko in. He had meant to read to him tonight instead of letting him fry his little brain cells with another movie. Promising himself that he would definitely read him one of the books he picked out tomorrow, he left the room, keeping the door open in case he woke up and called out for him.

Wincing, he heard the Olsons, the couple upstairs, fighting. He looked at the clock; it was about the right time of night. Out in the hallway, Yakko heard the husband spit a couple of extremely nasty words to his wife, and begin to stomp down the staircase. Yakko quickly ran to the living room to double check that the door was locked. He heard Mr. Olson stomp past the fourth floor, then continue down to the street, while his wife hung out the window upstairs and yelled obscenities at him.

Back on the couch, he reached onto the floor and pulled out the book. Running his gloved hands over the decaying cover and frayed spine, he could barely make out the words "_memory book_" under the dirt, stamped in what had probably been gold at one time.

Well, someone, somewhere, further back in the Warner line, had cared to make the book, he might as well find out what was inside it.

Opening the front cover and hoping it would not fall apart in his hand, he saw an article on the first page – dated from 1927 – about some animator, Hugh Harman, working on the Alice Comedies at Walt Disney Studios. Some nonsense about humans and animations and "talkie" pictures – he started to scan it quickly.

Growing bored with the dull article, Yakko carefully turned the page, wincing slightly at the snapping sound the brittle page made. The next piece of paper was a drawing of a remarkably ugly 'toon, with the word _Bosko_ under it.

What was a _Bosko_? It sounded like a drink.

Looking at the drawing again, he surmised this was what the animator thought of if he ever considered the possibly of a human dallying with a troll – _this_ would be the end result. Next to it was a receipt from a patent office, dated 3 January, 1928, registering the "_Bosko_" as belonging to Hugh Harman.

_Good for him_, he thought.

On the other side of the book was another drawing, a bit taller and thinner, but still looking almost like the first ugly toon, with the words "Kokko – brother 1923" on it.

Yakko looked at for a few seconds – here was the illusive Kokko.

_Figures, we are related to that_, he thought. Well, at least they didn't totally resemble him.

Another article, from the New Yorker with the headline "AMAZING – DRAWINGS COME TO LIFE!!! – Another toon has life breathed into it by able animator!"

Underneath was a grainy picture of Kokko, dancing on a stage of some sort.

Yakko scanned the articles – he didn't totally understand how the humans had made the first toons, nor did he understand why some toons could be born, but others drawn. But, seeing no explanation in the article, which basically said "_He walks! He talks! He sings!_" he moved on.

The next thing was a contract between Bosko and Termite Terrace – calling for a total of 39 cartoons. A few faded photographs of Kokko on more stages, a few more articles about some other so called "_ink blot_" creations coming to life.

Yakko was hurting his eyes, squinting to make out the details. Sure these people bore some resemblance to his family – in that they all were bipedal and had three fingers. Other than that, he didn't see much to be excited about.

A short blurb in a variety paper about Termite Terrace being in touch with Kokko and Bosko about producing films for them. In their excitement, the cartoon duo adopted the surname "_Warner_".

Rapidly growing bored with the history lesson, Yakko was about to put the thing down and go on to one of his infinitely more interesting library books when he spotted another article on the following page, larger than the first.

**FIRST TOON MARRIAGE!** Screamed the headline – it looked like it was dated 1927, but it was hard to tell with the type being so faded. Underneath was a picture of Kokko, still ugly, holding hands with what was a rather attractive toon dog. Her name was Fanny Flapper, and she had been a former toon designed at but not used by Fleischer Studios.

Yakko looked at them – grandparents perhaps?

Curiosity aroused, he continued on.

Article about Termite Terrace choosing to go with Bosko as their new star – "rare singing and dancing ability" it stated. A smaller article about Kokko being turned down by Termite Terrace, then Disney, then Fleischer Studios...Another piece about Kokko being arrested by the police for assaulting several 'toons and humans outside Termite Terrace. The humans had been unable to stop him, and finally had to call in other toons to help – in all it took six toons to restrain him in what the reporter called "a drunken rampage". He was raving about his good for nothing brother stealing the fame for himself, while he died a slow death on a vaudeville circuit. After all he – Kokko – was the talented one, while Bosko was nothing but a pretty face.

What a nut. Well, now Yakko knew where his father got it from – it was all genes. Mom apparently just joined along for the ride.

Next page – pictures of Kokko dancing on stage to large audiences, Fanny alongside him.

A few small articles about other 'toons getting married – a rather large one about the first toon birth – Sicko Warner. Yakko stopped to look at the picture – the baby looked a lot more recognizable to his family line – longer and thinner than Kokko – face paler – dark eyes - long ears.

Articles about Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Mickey Mouse, all hitting the big time.

Looking at the picture for a few seconds, he continued on. A few more birth announcements for toons being born – a few more marriages. There was a large article, with the headline of "_Walt Flips His Wig - Disney to make full length movie staring nothing but toons!_" Labeled "Disney's Folly", it featured interviews with some of the dozen's of toons that were trying out for the different roles in the feature. Standing in line to try out was Kokko Warner.

Other articles – toons running rampant in Hollywood. A proposed amendment to section off a section of California, outside Los Angeles, hence forth to be known as "_ToonTown_". One of these signing the amendment was Kokko Warner.

The animated characters could live there, decide their own laws, make their own rules, and be as free as they like, without bothering the humans who were being put in constant danger with free falling pianos and anvils. Humans tended to find these antics funny only on the big screen.

In this photograph, Kokko Warner was front and center, apparently one of the first to become a resident of ToonTown. Standing with other newly elected officials, he was shaking hands with the then current mayor of Los Angeles.

Toons with any sort of criminal history were already being detained in special places, watched over by other toons – the toon prison - Panic Penitentiary. He scanned the article - Tyrantas Beagle, a toon that was so straight he could almost be a human, had been voted by the other toons as the prison's first warden, and promptly locked up most of his relatives for various crimes, including robbery, assaults on toons and humans, public drunkenness, and simple wanton destruction.

For those toons with a taste of the illegal and the ability to harness any sort of "toon talent", special cuffs were being designed to keep them in Panic Penitentiary for their scheduled time. Utilizing acetone and a watered-down version of white-out, these "toon-proof cuffs" hindered their ability to flush themselves down toilets, slip under doors, pull mallets, utilize their "HammerSpace" or anything else they could think of to attempt to escape Panic Penitentiary.

A few articles about the ongoing "toon wars". Mostly the more talented toons warring with their less gifted counterparts. Frequently, it consisted of just mischief making – Mickey Mouse, one of animations biggest stars, apparently upset Yosemite Sam with his arrogant Disney attitude enough that Yosemite Sam chased him up Ward Kimball Avenue, a major thoroughfare in the beginnings of ToonTown, shooting at his feet. Bugs Bunny stopped the whole fiasco by slamming Mickey in the face with a pie as he ran screaming into Mel's Supper Club, a hangout for the toons that worked at Termite Terrace.

The reporter noted it was Banana Crème.

A clipping from the first ToonTown newspaper – _The Animator_ – stating that henceforth, all parents were responsible for the teaching of their offspring. It had been decided that no schools would be available for toon kids, as the difference in each family of toons was so vast, it would be impossible for the growing town to handle the large schooling needs of the community. According to the article, tutors were becoming very popular in the growing toon community. Yakko's eyes widened when he saw that Kokko Warner was among the advertised tutors.

A photo fell out, along with a small article about the first toon baby finally getting married - Sicko Warner and Drolla Geef. Drolla was a fairly pretty 'toon, with large dark eyes, long black hair in ringlets, a smooth thick tail, and a big grin on her snout. Sicko, while much better looking than his father, looked ill - the photographer had captured them at a bad time, and he was hunched over in what appeared to be a coughing fit.

Next, a death certificate for Kokko Warner – drank himself to death. Another death certificate, this time for Sicko Warner, who apparently was as good as his name – he died at a young age. According to the death certificate, he was suffering from lugubriosity. Yakko went to his bedroom quietly and grabbed the dictionary - lugubriosity - depression.

A birth certificate – dated 1961 – ToonTown – The baby's name was Slacko De-Beck Warner.

Yakko picked up the certificate, stained and crumbled. Like a lot of the articles and papers and documents in the book, it was not secured to a page, just haphazardly thrown in between pages. Nothing was in order. Rather like the Warner's lives it seemed.

Venturing on, a death certificate for Fanny - unlike some toons she was not quite as "sturdy" in the fine art of surviving a car accident.

Hospital records for a visit to ToonTown Hospital, Vet, and Morgue for Slacko - must have been when mom's family beat him senseless, he guessed. From the size of the bill, they must have really done a number on him.

Bail receipts from Dwepty Dogg's Bail Bonds; newspaper clipping of dad trying out for a Merrie Melodies short. Another article, from a human paper this time, of many toons, his father included, talking about growing up as one of the second generation of toons in ToonTown. Reading the article, he noticed his father did not seem quite as angry as he seemed now, but apparently still had a large chip on his shoulder – he was quoted as say they would be "fools to turn down his level of talent".

Marriage certificate for Ophelia Pete and Slacko Warner, dated February 4, 1980 - mom's handwriting a beautiful cursive, dad's a messy scrawl. Which could not be blamed on the beating - his father still had a messy scrawl, the few times he had ever seen his father hold any sort of writing instrument.

A death certificate for Drolla Geef - died of asphyxiation, apparently while eating popcorn and viewing one of her uncles' movies.

A few blank pages. He stopped at the back of the book and pulled out another document - his birth certificate. He looked over the record – everything in ToonTown was color coded, so his certificate was blue – with his name in bold print across the top – _Yakko Elias Warner, August 7, 1980_. At the bottom were his parents' signatures.

He dug thru some old receipts, including the receipt from where his parents put down the deposit on their lovely living accommodations, and found two more certificates – one blue and one pink.

_Wakko Freleng Warner - December 3, 1984_ and _Dorothy Desdemona Warner - November 6, 1987_.

Having always wondered where they were, Yakko felt a bit of relief. He yawned – he didn't realize he was so tired.

He looked around for a clock, and then remembered that there was not one in the living room any longer. Wakko had accidentally broken it while playing a couple of weeks ago, trying to make his bunny fly. His father had been furious about it, and Yakko had quickly taken the blame and sent the terrified Wakko to his bedroom while his father had ranted and raved about the lost family heirloom. When Yakko pointed out that not only was it a very cheap clock, it had also been in a bad place, especially with small children in the house, his father had almost knocked him senseless.

Luckily Mom had been up, not sober, but up, and had come to his defense, dragging him back to his bedroom, screaming at his father about the hell he put them all through. She had given Wakko a wet rag to clean up Yakko's wound while she stormed back into the living room to scream at her husband. Yakko had finally taken the rag from Wakko and just put it on his head; he was trying, but at his age, Wakko didn't exactly have a gentle touch. But, all in all, it had been an ugly argument.

He _really_ needed to learn to keep his mouth closed sometimes.

Shaking his head at the memory, he carefully laid the certificates back in between two pages and closed the memory book, resolving to go through the rest of the documents at a later time. He never thought about it until now, but his family's past went back prior to the beginnings of ToonTown, and while some of the articles were interesting, they didn't really apply to the Warner line...

To tired to be overly curious about it, he walked back to his bedroom. Wakko was still asleep - making small yipping sounds and pawing at the blanket.

Yakko gave a bit of a smile at him as he gently placed the book in the top dresser drawer, out of reach of his younger brother. He could be a little destructive, even when he didn't mean to be.

Satisfied, Yakko moved the covers over his brother a bit more, and glanced at the clock.

Noticing it was past midnight, he decided to head to bed himself. He turned out all the lights, checked the locks, and, deciding to do the dishes in the morning, scooted Wakko over and got into bed, hoping that in the morning, Mom and Dad would have brought more food.

XXXXXXXXXX

One week later, Yakko took his siblings back to the library.

As he walked down the trash lined street, watching needles and empty bottles and burger wrappers floating in the swift breeze, he thought back over the last week. He adjusted Dot higher on his hip, and grabbed at Wakko, who was making an escape attempt – he wanted to look in the trash can.

It had been a rough week, as always. Yakko could tell his brother had liked the story lady – if for nothing else the cookies and punch. Wakko had asked every day during the week (sometimes two or three times a day) when they were going back.

Yakko couldn't believe it was for the stories – he had tried reading to Wakko several times, with minimal success. Wakko would not stay still for longer than five or so minutes before getting fussy – wanting to play, watch TV, go to the park, anything but listen. Teaching him to read was going to be a chore.

Stomach rumbling, Yakko had to admit the cookies sounded like a good enough reason to listen to a silly story or two. Mom and Dad had not been too successful the last week – Dad lost a tooth and a chunk of his tail in a fight and was in a frightful mood for the first part of the week, and Mom was back to being her ditzy drunken self less than twenty-four hours after their little waltz in the kitchen.

He was very happy that he had her sign the library's permission slip when she had been in the upswing of her many moods. She had signed it and laughed about how she used to practice her signature for hours in preparation of the many autographs she was going to have to sign.

They brought little food yesterday; it was leftover pizza from who knows where – Yakko had given it to Wakko. They had also brought half a container of formula for Dot, which Yakko had raised an eyebrow at.

Where did they buy half a container? They were sold sealed...

Taking one whiff of the liquid had told Yakko they did not purchase it. It was so spoiled it was starting to become solid. With a gag he had thrown it away, and then began to worry what he was going to feed her.

Remembering they had some milk, he had put that in the bottle and given it to her. She seemed a bit hesitant at the first taste, but then became accustomed to it and began to drink with gusto.

He had given her the leftover milk this morning for breakfast. He and Wakko had not yet eaten. When he remembered what day it was, he had decided on the library. Cookies for brunch, but dinner was going to be another matter. They were in big trouble...

Stopping Wakko from eating the couch cushions, he had shooed them out the door and down the four flights of stairs, away from their arguing parents, and down the street to the library.

As he listened to Wakko keep repeating that he was hungry, they arrived at the library and returned the books. The lady who had been nice enough to sign him up for a card with no parent present was behind the counter, and he slipped her the signed paper with a smile. She winked at him and took the paper to be filed.

He headed back to the children's section with Wakko, whom he had to restrain – he really was hungry and remembered the cookies from last week. Growing weary of hanging on to his overall straps, he let go, and watched as Wakko bounced, than ran all the way back, with Yakko following a close distance behind.

Arriving at the section, he saw that the Society for the Betterment of Contemptible Toons was already setting up, and they were among the first to arrive. Grandmother SweetStrudel was already sitting in a chair holding court, directing her two assistants that she was referring to as Dee and Dum, the strange looking egg shaped men in the silly elf costumes, in setting up the refreshments and displays. Yakko grabbed Wakko by his overall straps again before he could run to the table and knock it over.

Yakko took a look at the two men, who seemed like they would need assistance in tying their shoes. They looked slightly familiar, but he could not place them. Grandmother looked much the same as he last saw her – overbearing and fat.

Wakko had taken up a _'cookie cookie cookie'_ chant, bouncing beside Yakko. Seeing that the cookies were out, and one of the egg-men was pouring punch, Yakko let him go, and he sped off toward the table, where Grandmother SweetStrudel was lumbering over herself to get a bite.

Two more children wandered back with their parents, a family of toon bears, shabbily dressed, but looking clean and well-fed. Yakko looked down at his own clothing, a bit tattered, and glanced at Wakko, who had gone from being scruffy looking but reasonably clean to an absolute mess in the space of two hours, and felt a bit self conscious. The family eyed him, and he shifted Dot and returned the stare until the mother finally looked away.

Wakko began to eat cookies, while Grandmother SweetStrudel poured him a glass of punch.

Yakko kept an eye on his brother, making sure he did not eat all of the cookies. Listening to his stomach, he walked over there as well, still holding Dot, who was attempting to grab his nose, without much success. She had jammed him in the head twice, and once in the eye.

Giving a small nod and a smile to the overweight toon woman, Yakko took two cookies, and, reluctantly, knowing he was going to be cleaning her up later, gave one to Dot. He meanwhile devoured his cookie in one bite, and, while trying not to look quite as desperate as Wakko, ate another one.

Grandmother SweetStrudel continued too munch on her own cookie, watching Yakko and Wakko. Unable to read her face, Yakko looked back at her. Finally, she looked at Wakko, gave him a smile, and poured him another glass of punch. While he was drinking, she turned to continue to scrutinize Yakko.

Uncomfortable, he hurried Wakko off toward the back of the section, putting several families in-between them and the woman's prying eyes. Who did she think she was?

One of the egg men - Dee? Dum? Whatever - began to sing and dance, his silly looking twin joining in three beats late. Yakko and Wakko sat on the floor, and Yakko sat Dot on the floor in front of them. She had been making attempts to crawl lately, Yakko figured let her practice while they were sitting there.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two very boring hours later, the story was wrapping up, Dot was asleep, Wakko was crying about being tired and hungry, and Yakko was about to join him, he was so irritated. Restraining the urge to simply strangle his sibling and put him out of both their misery, Yakko held him until he could get him to stop crying, promising him a bit of the left over chocolate still sitting in his drawer.

Looking over the top of his sibling, he noticed the fat woman still watching them. She had been watching them the entire time she was telling her story. Yakko had tried to avoid looking at her, instead watching her two odd assistants jump around, dance, enact skits, sing, and in general be grating on his nerves.

She turned from watching them to berating her two bumbling assistants, who were bouncing on and over each other, knocking over a display claiming that "_Reading was Food for the Mind_".

Not wanting to hear anything more about food, and wishing to get a few books before they left the library, he began to lead his sibling, still leaking tears down his face, over to the far wall to choose a book or two, when he heard someone call out to him.

"You!" He turned. "Yes you!"

It was the fat woman. He was not sure what she wanted - he had restrained Wakko (and himself) from eating the entire stock of cookies she had, and had kept both of his younger siblings quiet during her rather dull story - this time about some silly girl who was trespassing in a house inhabited by some bears, broke their furniture, and then ate all their food.

Personally, he would have been upset too, if he were the bears.

"Come over here boy - I want to talk to you."

_Nothing good will come of this_, he thought. But Yakko walked over, still holding Wakko's hand.

"Can you send those two off for a few minutes?" she huffed.

"I'm not sending my siblings _off_ anywhere. What do you want?"

She arched an eyebrow on her fat face. "I didn't mean abandon them. Here," she attempted to squat down to Wakko's level. Wakko shrunk back into Yakko's leg, but didn't do anything else.

"Would you like more cookies?"

Wakko, looking happier than he had all day, vigorously nodded his head, and she held her hand out to him, which he eagerly took as she lumbered back to the table holding the cookies. Yakko figured that by now those two buffoons she had with her would have packed them away.

Annoyed, more with Wakko this time for again not listening to his instructions of don't take anything from strangers, he impatiently tapped his foot and waited for the woman to stop filling his brothers face with cookies so they could get going. He shifted Dot to his other arm - she was getting heavy.

"Would you like to place your sister down?"

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Just to talk. Watch the attitude - it won't win you any favors."

Who did this woman think she was? "Now look lady - "

She cut him off before he could get too far.

"The name is Penelope Goose."

Turning his head to check on his brother, he said, "Fine, fine, nice to meet you. You still haven't told me what you want."

"You're awfully concerned about your brother - more so than most brothers are."

_Lady, you don't know the half of it._

"You're good with kids," she observed, then nodded toward Dot. "How old?"

"Almost eleven months."

"The other one?"

"Three. What's it to you?"

"Bit young to be wandering around by yourselves, aren't you?"

"But old enough to know when someone is bothering me. If you don't mind, I really - "

"Look kid, I wanted to talk with you, I've been watching you for quite a few weeks now- "

"I know, and it's giving me the willies," he interrupted.

She continued on as if he never said anything. "You seem like you have some intelligence, unlike my associates over there." She nodded toward Dum and Dee, who were standing by the table, literally twiddling their thumbs.

Yakko couldn't argue with her on that one, and decided to keep his mouth shut to see where she was going with all this.

"No comment, Yakko, is it?"

His look changed from annoyance to wariness. "How did you know my name?"

"I overheard your brother. Use your head kid."

Yakko stared at the woman in amazement - why would she not get to the point?

"You and the other two look a bit thin."

"Sorry I can't say the same about you," he replied. _If she was going to be rude…_

"Ah, so full of spirit. So squirt, when's the last time any of you ate?"

This was getting suspicious, and Yakko didn't appreciate the woman trying to pry. Prying eyes could call the authorities, who in turn could call TIS - _Toon Inquiry Services_. If they saw the conditions at the Warner household, it could mean orphanages, foster homes, being split from his sibs... He had to avoid that.

"A few minutes ago - we had your cookies, remember?"

"How about before that? And your clothes, I really have to say - "

This was intolerable. "I don't see where that is any of your concern. Now, if you will excuse me, we have to leave."

With that, Yakko turned on his heel and began to walk out, calling for Wakko, who grabbed another handful of cookies and ran after him.

Yakko was so furious that he didn't even notice until they were halfway home that he had

not checked out any books.

XXXXXXXXXX

For the next two months, Yakko continued to take his siblings to the library, making sure that he rented any books he wanted before the story time. Not only did this ensure their quick escape once the stories were finished, it gave him something to read while the god-awful skits, songs, puns, and stories flew.

Grandmother SweetStrudel continued to watch them, but had not made any other attempts to speak to Yakko. Wakko though, was becoming quite fond of her. Yakko had a suspicion that it due to the fact that she let Wakko have the leftover cookies at the end of the story time. The kid was going to be a blimp before he tuned four.

Yakko was usually very bored during the stories - and as it seemed she only had about five in her repertoire, he had them pretty well memorized. He would hope she would at least get some new material - there were thousands of stories out there - she could really attempt to try something different. And find some new assistants while she was at it. They were terrible - terrible actors, terrible singers, terrible dancers, terrible story tellers, just - terrible, all the way around.

Yakko, through trial, error, and many baby books rented from the library, finally was able to wean Dot off the bottle, and was attempting to teach her to use eating utensils. Sometimes, she actually got the food somewhere near her mouth before he fed her himself. She was able to eat regular food if he mashed it up very fine – he had informed his mother of Dot's being off the bottle, and maybe needing to get real baby food.

His mother had started crying about how her little girl was growing up right before her eyes. Why, before she knew it, he**r** daughter would be dating and trying out for movie parts too, she cried, hugging Yakko. Yakko rolling his eyes, hugged her back, and was happy at least one of the females in the house was off the bottle anyway.

Dot was also becoming more vocal. She was not speaking yet, but he thought she may be trying, in between the '_gaaaas_' and '_eeeeeeees_'. He was trying to speak simple words to her, to see if she would pick some of them up and say her first word, but so far he had been unsuccessful. She was going to be a year old soon - she should be talking.

Yakko was beginning to read to Wakko nightly before bed. It had been hard at first, with Wakko wanting to watch TV instead, but had rapidly grown used to Yakko spending a half hour every night reading to him. Yakko also thought Wakko enjoyed the extra attention - since Dot had begun to crawl, he had been spending a lot of time watching her, making sure she didn't get hurt.

Their fur, never as sleek or shiny as he imagined it should be, but at least a full coat, was beginning to worry him. Wakko was getting small bald patches on his tail and Yakko's skin was always itchy. Dot always had diaper rash and appeared to be getting dandruff. Yakko had a feeling that this was due to the poor diet, but unable to do anything about it, he crossed his fingers and hoped for something good to happen.

XXXXXXXXXX

Once again, it was Saturday, and it was time to head to the library for the story time with Grandmother SweetStrudel. Wakko, now comfortable with the routine, was getting to be a handful to control each trip. He constantly was trying to run ahead, look at everything, touch everything, eat everything, talk to everything, wearing Yakko out with trying to keep him under control. Once again, Yakko told Wakko to stay beside him and away from the street, making him walk on the side closest to the buildings. Wakko settled in beside Yakko, trying to match steps with his brother's longer stride.

Yakko did not have Dot with him this time, and it felt a little peculiar not to be carrying her. She had been sick - throwing up the entire night and crying. Yakko had decided not to go to the story session this week and tried to ignore the look of disappointment on his other siblings' face. Mom, surprisingly sober for that time of morning, had told him to take Wakko and go, since they both seemed to enjoy it so much. When Yakko had said he didn't know if that was such a good idea, she had gotten angry and yelled at him - she was her mother, didn't _he_ - her _son_, think she could take care of her baby daughter?

Not liking the idea, but also not wanting to upset her further, he had reluctantly left, with a confused but happy Wakko in tow. He worried about his youngest sib. He hoped his parent's had not decided to sell her while he was away.

Lost in his thoughts about one sibling, he failed to notice the other one again wandering off. Yakko looked down beside him, didn't see Wakko, and then looked up in horror at the sound of a car horn. Wakko was chasing something, straight out into the street. Yakko called to him, and Wakko turned to look at him. Then, to Yakko's disbelief, Wakko kept running, intent on chasing the - _whatever_ it was.

Heart in his stomach, Yakko dropped the books and ran to the edge of the sidewalk, and yanked Wakko back by the scruff of his neck to safety just as the car, a large black sedan, screeched to a halt where Wakko had been standing. Feeling his brother pick him up, Wakko clung to Yakko, burying his face in Yakko's neck.

Smelling the burnt rubber and hearing the driver, a large hippo toon, screaming at him about keeping an eye on that damn kid, Yakko carried his brother back to where the books had been abandoned on the sidewalk. The driver, with a final shake of his fist, heaved his bulk back into the car and sped off. The small crowd that had gathered to watch began to disperse.

Not trusting himself to speak and still shaking at the close call, Yakko put Wakko down and gave him what he hoped was a stern look. He began to pick up the discarded books as Wakko stood to the side and watched him timidly. Books picked up, Yakko led his brother around the corner to an alley by a small bakery.

Heart still pounding, he ordered Wakko to sit on a milk crate while he gathered his thoughts. Shaken and a little angry at his brother, he gave him a hug, then a short but severe lecture that left Wakko in tears, but promising not to run off again, or to at least answer when he called.

Hoping that the scolding had the intended effect, Yakko took Wakko's hand and led the contrite boy to the library.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was the boring story of the gingerbread house again.

With a silent groan, he leaned back against the table leg. Sitting on the floor in the children's section with Wakko in his lap was not the most comfortable of positions, and he shifted slightly, looking at the crowd. And he would consider it a crowd today - there must have been twenty toons back there, listening to this drivel. Human toons, animal toons, even a family of what appeared to be robot toons, they were all here. There were not that many chairs or tables in the children's section, and the ones that were there were being occupied by parents, so Yakko had no choice but to sit on the floor.

He settled back and opened a book on the floor beside him - the library had a few books about "_The Marx Brothers_". He had thought he had read all of them already, and had no problem re-reading them when the mood stuck him. He had found a new book today though - _Memoirs of a Mangy Lover_ .

Wakko seemed perfectly content in his lap - cookie in each hand, wide grin on his face, crumbs already in his fur. Wakko had behaved perfectly since the incident on the way to the library, and he leaned back into his brother's chest, looking forward to the story.

With a sigh, he fidgeted again, feeling the sharp corner of the table leg in his back, and began to read.

XXXXXXXXXX

After the session was over, Wakko hung around to get his weekly ration of treats while Yakko stood near the doorway, watching him. Grandmother SweetStrudel, aka Penelope Goose, was standing by the table, talking to him and telling her two assistants what a couple of doofus' they were. They both blinked at her while Yakko listened to her berate them for their abysmal singing and the poor choice of story.

Well, at least he knew who to blame for the fact that he could recite "_Hansel and Gretel_" word for word.

Wakko turned to look at Yakko and waved him over. Stifling a moan of frustration, Yakko made his way over to him as he watched SweetStrudel wander off to begin packing a banner.

"Want some?" Wakko questioned, holding what appeared to be a sugar coated bat out to him. Yakko raised an eyebrow at the strange looking cookie.

"No thanks sib, you eat it." _Probably the only thing you'll get to eat today, make the most out of it_, he thought, watching Wakko eat the cookie whole.

"Where's your sister?" a voice came from behind him, and he whirled around, almost dropping his books, to look into the very full face of Ms. Goose. How she managed to sneak her girth around behind him, he was not certain.

"Home."

"You're such a charming boy. To bad that attitude of yours ruins it."

"I didn't ask you for your opinion."

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes? Since your sister is not with you, it seems like the perfect time for you not to be interrupted. Your brother will be fine here."

Distracted by her wobbling chins, Yakko released a sigh and nodded. Maybe if he listened to what she wanted, she would stop staring at him every week. It gave him the creeps.

She took his arm and began to lead him away, and he dug his heels in, stopping her.

"What about my brother? I'm not leaving him here while you lead me off who knows where."

"I'm not looking to kidnap you two, you little fool. We are going by the shelves, you can still see him. He's enjoying himself for a few minutes. Looks like he has not eaten in a week; you either really."

"He's eaten, he's just a growing boy; they stay hungry don't they? And you don't need to pry into our personal - "

"Calm down kid – I'm not going to call urchin welfare on you. Just thought you might be interested in a little chat is all."

Irritated, a bit worried, and, he hated to admit it, a little curious as to why the woman was so intent on talking to him, he leaned against the bookcase, arms crossed, and said, "So, you got me. What do you want?"

"Like I said, a real charmer. What's the deal with you kids?"

"Deal? Look, lady, I don't know what you're talking about, but I have things to do."

"Fine, I'll get it out of you later."

"I really think - "

"I doubt that, but anyway. Look, kid, I don't know about you, but those two brain-ea-acts I have working for me over there," she pointed one chubby finger toward Dee and Dum - one of whom was picking his nose while the other watched, "they're not that intelligent. Or responsible. Or even literate. Oh, I'll just say it; they're a couple of real dumb-asses."

Yakko raised his eyebrows up in surprise. It was hard to listen to somewhere swearing while wearing a frilly pink dress, bloomers, and a bonnet, and he bit back a laugh. He turned to look at them.

"Well, I guess I'll agree with you there. Especially since one of them appears to have got his finger stuck in his own nose."

She turned, looked at said stooge, gave a disbelieving snort, and then turned back to Yakko.

"You see my problem."

"It's not your only one, but yeah, I suppose I do."

"I need some better quality help. I've been watching you – you seem somewhat intelligent, you're good with kids, and you're not especially shy – plus you look like you could use a little extra cash."

Yakko, only annoyed before, was starting to get a little angry. "We don't need charity, and we do not look any worse than anyone else here, where do you - "

She interrupted with, "You want a job?"

Yakko, not expecting this, looked at her. "Excuse me - What are you talking about?"

"You deaf? I asked if you want a job. I can fire those two morons and hire you."

Yakko, smirking, replied, "You've got to me kidding me. I told you, I don't need any charity."

"It's not charity you little buffoon – it's a J-O-B. You _earn_ the money."

"Why me?" _What game was this?_

"The reasons I listed earlier, if you bothered to listen. That and you would probably work cheaper than those two. Made a movie and a couple of TV appearances for Disney years ago –think they are big stars."

Slightly curious about what movie they had been in, but not willing to ask any question off the original topic, he instead said, "You don't say."

"I do say. I swear, Disney toons, huh?" she nudged him. "But, we digress. You interested?"

"And what, have to wear that dippy costume? Better loosen that bonnet lady and find another sucker."

"OK." She did a quick spin, becoming a large pink blur, and settled back to just standing in what could only be called a muumuu. It was blue with maroon flowers - it looked ghastly on her. She looked better in the other outfit. Her blond ringlets, much too tight to be attractive on such a wide face, hung past her shoulders. He watched her pat her hair down with her pudgy fingers.

But, she also must have a little of the toon talent. Yakko had read that spin changes were some of the more difficult of routines to perform in "_Cross Dressing to Fool Your Enemies: Do's and Don'ts_". He must have looked halfway astonished, because she gave him a sickly sweet smile.

"Does that surprise you kid? That I can actually do something besides eat and tell bad stories?"

"Actually, a bit."

"Could probably pass on a thing or two, if you're interested..." she replied in a sing-song tone. "I see you have "_What It Takes To Be A True Toon_" in your hand – knew the author at one point, silly little fellow, really liked spinach...smoked though, disgusting habit..."

At this point, nothing this woman said would surprise Yakko. He did not reply and instead did some quick thinking.

He knew his reading skills were above average - even the librarian had commented a few times about how he was always reading books beyond his age. He could do basic math. He had a smart mouth.

But he also knew the ability to read, do basic division, and to make a quip at almost anything were not going to get him far in life. He almost choked on the thought of his life ten or twelve years from now - living in some dingy apartment with a drunken floozy of a wife, children looking up at him, and he knew he was going to have to go out and beg or steal to feed them.

He wanted his sibs to have something better - Wakko and Dot meant more to him than anything - he knew his parents were never going to provide for them the way they should be provided for.

Yakko did not like the idea of stealing for a living – which was where he saw all of them ending up eventually. Even now, when they got home, he had a very bad feeling there would be no food there. He was getting desperate enough to consider stealing; distasteful yes, but it may become necessary. He couldn't continue to feed Wakko and Dot, even himself, meals of cookies once a week. He certainly could not rely on his parents.

Plus, if this woman had any talent, and she had already proven she did – why not get a few pointers from her? It sure was not like his parents were bothering to teach him anything. It couldn't hurt, plus if there was money involved...

He looked at Penelope Goose. Her blue eyes stared intently back into his own.

"What's the pay rate?" he asked. _I can't believe I am even considering doing this..._

"Twenty dollars a week – it's about four hours worth of work. I do most of the talking, buy the refreshments, and handle reading most of the stories. You help pick the stories, you set the refreshments up, and you handle the clean up of this space. I would like you to help the little one's pick out books at the end of the session – I wouldn't trust those two morons to pick out a pair of socks, let alone help guide little ones to appropriate stories. Plus, you take care of anything additional as it comes up – sing a song or something when I get tired. I'm not a young woman, and this is not my only stop."

Now that did surprise him. "What do you mean, not your only stop?"

"I do this at four separate library districts –Babbitt, Clampett, Natwick, and Plympton. Don't look so worried kid – I only need your help at this one. The others are covered."

Yakko crinkled his nose – out of the four ghettos she mentioned, Plympton was probably the best, and that was really saying something.

Twenty dollars a week. To most toons, it was a pittance. To Yakko, however, it was a fortune. If he was really careful, he could probably make that money stretch for food all week. True, it might be peanut butter and loafs of bread, but still, much better than nothing. If he played it right, he may even be able to put a little away.

He took a quick glace at his brother to make sure he was OK. Wakko, grinning and drinking the punch, waved back, and he caught sight of Wakko's bare hands, covered in soft black fur. Wakko would be turning five in another year and four months – he would be getting his first pair of gloves then; gloves were expensive. He looked down to his own.

Yakko knew better than to count on his parents remembering something _that_ important. It had taken them two months past his own birthday for them to get his gloves. He had been so disappointed then, it meant so much to a toon to finally receive them...

"What about my sibs? Ehhhhhhhhh – I have to, um, baby-sit them on Saturdays...my parents, they work then..." he finished lamely.

Ms. Goose snorted and muttered what sounded like "I bet they do", but said louder, "So, bring them along. Your brother over there never looks bored, unlike you," she said, giving him a pointed look, "and I'm sure as your sister gets older, she will enjoy it. Especially since her brother is getting involved."

Wakko did enjoy the sessions. Dot could stay with him while Yakko was making a fool of himself up in front of the toddler crowd. He would be right there if anything were to happen. With the situation being the way it was at home, wouldn't it be nice to know they might have something to eat in the morning, even if it was just toast? He had been hoping for some good luck to come their way – looks like being a reading assistant was it...

"What do ya say sport? I've got places to be."

Satisfied that his sibs would still be welcome, he nodded. He could practically contain his delight but managed to choke out with what he hoped was some dignity, "When do I start?"

"Now." She said. He watched her waddle to her two prior assistants and order them from the section. Wakko watched wide eyed as she began to yell, and he darted over to his brother to hide behind him. This wasn't the nice lady from earlier.

The two assistants did not move at first, and she pulled out an umbrella from somewhere and began to wack at them. They seemed to understand that, and with petrified looks, fled the section, one bouncing on the other out the front door. She lumbered back to Yakko.

"You're responsible for cleaning this mess up today. Try to have it done in the next thirty minutes – the library gets upset when the section stays closed for this long – we are already twenty minutes behind schedule. Here" she said, handing him two fives and a ten. "That will cover your time for this week."

"But I'm not doing anything but some clean-up." Yakko didn't want to turn down the money – but he was honest enough to not want to take if from her.

"You're not only doing the clean-up – you have to pick out a story for me to read next week. That will take a couple of hours I'm sure. Take the money – buy your brother a soda on the way home."

She shoved the money into his hands and turned around.

"But - "

"_Take. The. Money._ And I will have your costume for you next week." His new domineering boss came back to him, put her hands around his waist, neck, and head, muttered "_I can remember that_", and turned to leave. He cringed when he heard the words _hat_, _bells_, and _feathers_. What had he gotten himself into?

"Be here by 11:00 AM next week. You will need about an hour to set up and tell me what you have planned." She checked her watch. "Look at this – because I was sitting here dealing with you, I am late to my next session."

With that she left the section, Yakko still staring at the doorway in astonishment.

Feeling a tugging at his pants leg, he looked down. He had forgotten about Wakko for a minute.

"Can we go home now? There's no more cookies! Why did she give you money? What's an aardvark?"

Used to Wakko's off the cuff questions and comments at this point, Yakko didn't answer at first, merely stared at the money in his fist.

"Yakko! Yakko! Yakko!" Wakko continued to tug on his pants. He finally answered him, before he pulled his pants totally off him.

"Yes Wakko, we can go in a few minutes. I think I just got a job...you want to help me vacuum the carpet and throw the trash away?"

"No." Well, at least he was honest.

"OK. You can sit there" Yakko pointed to a chair in the corner, "until I finish. I should not be more than an hour."

"I don't wanna sit there," Wakko whined, wrinkling his nose.

"Then you can help me."

"Alright." Wakko sighed, crossing his arms and looking away. Oh God, he's going to start pouting. Then Yakko thought to what his new superior said.

"Wakko, you help me, we get out of here faster. Then we can stop at the store to get some food, and I'll buy you a soda, how's that sound?" Wakko loved soda, but rarely got to drink it. It was expensive. But, the lack of soda was probably saving all their teeth.

Wakko snapped his head back to look at him. "Soda! Really?"

"Soda. Really." Yakko said, putting his hand over his heart and grinning.

"OK!" Wakko almost knocked him over pouncing on him. Yakko laughed and told him to start picking up the leftover cups and napkins; he had to go find the vacuum.

Yakko, happy that a little sugar was earning him some brownie points with his younger brother, finally found the vacuum in the janitor's closet. Wakko was crawling around on all fours, under tables, chairs, reaching under book shelves, pulling out cups, napkins, plates, and some other odds and ends to throw away. Yakko had not intended for him to get quite that thorough, and he watched as Wakko began to look behind the books on the lower shelves. It was keeping him quiet and occupied, so he let him continue on as he vacuumed.

On the way out, Yakko had Wakko helping him pick out a few different fable and story books. If he was going to do the job, foolish or not, he was going to do it half-way right, and since he was going to be dealing with a toddler crowd – who better to pick the tale than a toddler? He would begin the search for some more interesting stories tonight.

XXXXXXXXXX

On the way home, they stopped at "The _Budget Price All Generic Almost Expired but Not Quite Grocery and Drug Store_". Stepping into the store, Yakko let his eyes adjust to the dim light. Usually stores had the lights bright and the music upbeat - or so he saw on TV. This one was so dark he had feared it might not be open, and he believed they were playing a funeral dirge over the intercom. How very cheery.

Wakko looked around, amazed. Yakko remembered that he had never been to a grocery store before, and even with his own limited experience, began answering questions about beans, Spam, the tiles on the floor, the bored alligator cashier, why a baby was riding in the shopping cart, and exactly what was edible and what was not.

Glad now that he did have his math skills, little that they may be, he grabbed a cart. Yakko was tall for his age, but he still had to do a bit of reaching to push it down the aisles.

Wakko ran to the front to help steer around people, displays, and the spill of something purple on the floor that appeared to be moving. Wakko tried to touch it, and Yakko yanked him away – it was ToonTown after all; hard to say what it was. They watched it scuttle under a shelf and begin to make a purring sound. With a shrug, they moved on.

Yakko, mentally adding up the purchases in his head, directed Wakko to grab a jar of peanut butter off the bottom shelf. Three dollars – but it was a big jar – it could last all week – and jelly, they could get jelly, a loaf of bread, some milk...

"Yakko, can we get some of this?" Wakko asked – pointing to some popcorn at the bottom of the shelf.

Snapped back to the moment, Yakko looked at the price. For the size of the bag, it was a good deal, and they could use a treat.

Figuring that this would be as good a time as any to start teaching Wakko some basic math, he asked him, "How much is it?"

Wakko studied the price tag for a second. "Two," he said, struggling over the number.

"Two dollars?" Yakko asked, looking at the bag when Wakko's head was turned. It was going out of date in the next week, but they would have it finished off long before then.

"Yeah," Wakko replied, looking up at this brother. "Can we get it?"

"If we already have seven dollars of things in the cart, how much would that equal?"

Wakko shrugged and began to put the popcorn in the cart. Yakko stopped him.

"Hey, we got a limited budget here kiddo – _real_ limited. I have to know how much we are spending. So?" Looking at Wakko's face, he could tell he was going to have to coach him through it. A flash of irritation at his parents hit him – he was a kid himself – he didn't know how to teach anything – he barely blundered his way through teething and diaper changing. He suppressed it – it wasn't Wakko's fault – and he needed to learn; he did manage to teach Wakko some of his numbers, and he was going to teach him how to read.

Well, here goes...

"You know your numbers right - one through ten?" He waited for Wakko's nod, and then continued. "OK, so, what's seven plus one?"

Wakko looked at him like he had lost his mind. "I don't know."

"Well, you want to give it a try?"

"No." At Yakko's look, Wakko shrugged and said, "You can tell me."

With a sigh, Yakko said, "What if I'm not here? What would you do then?"

"Ask someone else."

"Not supposed to talk to strangers, remember?"

"You do."

Yakko sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was not going well. "I taught you your numbers; remember that? One through ten?"

"Yeah."

"OK. The number seven – what's after that?"

"I don't remember."

"Well, try to remember."

Wakko thought, and then finally answered, "Eight".

"OK. And after that?"

"Nine." Wakko answered, quite proud of himself.

"Alright sib –so if we have seven dollars worth of stuff, and we add two, what do we

have?"

"Nine?" he answered, a bit questioningly.

"Very good. And yes, put it in the cart."

Happy, Wakko tossed the bag in the cart, having to stand on his toes to reach over the top of the basket.

Making a mental note to begin to teach Wakko some addition, Yakko lead his brother through the rest of the store, trying not to spend every dime they had. It was a long time until next Saturday, and he wanted to save a few dollars for anything that might come up.

Finally finished, they made their way to the cashier, and Wakko peered over the top of the counter at her, watching her look at each item and type the price in on the oldest cash register in ToonTown. When she gave the total on $14.42, Yakko almost leaped for joy – they had some food – _no depending on his unreliable parents this week!_ – and there was still $ 5.58 left.

Putting the money deep in his pocket and grabbing the three bags, Yakko walked out the door, Wakko holding on to his tail like a leash. Passing the soda machine outside, Yakko pulled out fifty cents to get Wakko his promised soda. Wakko pointed to the bottom button - black cherry. The look on Wakko's face was priceless as Yakko snapped open the can, noting it was a very big can – 36 ounces the label said, claiming that 12 ounces were free. Well, that _was_ a good deal for fifty cents. He looked at Wakko's face, smiled, and gave it to him.

"Hold it with both hands, or you're going to spill it."

Nodding, to happy to speak, Wakko began to drink. Yakko thought just seeing the joy on Wakko's face would make whatever SweetStrudel did to him worth it.

XXXXXXXXXX

Half an hour later, Yakko was promising himself that he would never, _ever_, give Wakko another soda as long as he lived. He had not shut up the entire walk home. He was running everywhere, trying to eat everything, talking to everything – animate or not – it was worse than the walk to the library. Scolding, begging, threatening, pleading, even bribery – nothing calmed him down – he just kept _going_.

"Where's his off switch?" Yakko muttered to himself, closing his eyes in pain when Wakko jumped onto his back unexpectedly, then pushed off hard with his little white feet.

Yakko had broken two of the eggs when he dropped the bag they were in while pulling Wakko down off a street lamp. Wakko had immediately scampered onto a bus bench, Yakko chasing him. Apparently his little lecture from this morning had no effect. Just as he reached Wakko, he managed to surprise everyone within thirty feet with a particularly long and loud belch, including himself. Yakko dashed forward and caught him as the astonished child tumbled off the bench. In catching Wakko, he dropped the bags again, and wondered if any of the eggs were going to survive the trip home.

Wakko grinned as two old woman walked by, prissy looking rabbits with their noses twitching and looking horrified but slightly amazed at the volume. Wakko, sill being held by Yakko threw his head back and burped again, then started laughing. The two women glared at them and hurried away around the corner.

Yakko rolled his eyes, picked up the bags, and started walking again, feeling the sticky spot on the bag that the eggs were slowly leaking thru. Wakko continued to burp as they walked down the sidewalk.

He was loud. He could hold it out for a long time. He was currently trying to burp _Mary had a Little Lamb_.

Unfortunately, he was doing a decent job.

He was even dancing and bouncing all over the sidewalk, putting on his own little _improv_ for everyone on the street. Apparently Wakko could be quite the showman when the mood stuck him.

Wondering how much longer the carbonation was going to make him burp, Yakko shook his head, grabbed his brother by the back of his overall strap, and continued home, hauling the bouncing child with him.

Looking forward to eating and checking on Dot, he prayed that by the time they got there, Wakko would have crashed from his sugar high. In desperation, he promised Wakko that he would take him to the park for a little while if he would only be quiet until they got home.

He wasn't, and Yakko's ears were ringing with the sound of a thousand belches by the time they walked up to their decrepit building. Yakko looked up at the six story building, hearing the Olsons' already fighting. Usually they waited until the middle of the night to begin to rant at each other. Behind him, out on the street, he heard the sound of yet another ambulance going by, taking another unfortunate to ToonTown HVM.

He studied the building for a second, sitting on the corner of Cambria and Lantz Streets. Blue paint, now grey with age, peeled from the siding in long strips; broken windows looking out onto the street, fire escape hanging loose from the building, banging slightly against the building in the breeze. Reflected in the windows of his building, he could see the neon lights of the neighborhood bar and massage parlor across the street, already flashing pink and yellow. The wind was starting to blow stronger, stirring his ears and tail. He looked at the sky and saw grey clouds - looks like they barely beat a storm home. With a sigh, he began to climb the stairs to enter the building, calling to his brother to come on and to please leave the apple core on the sidewalk where he found it.

Wakko happily bounded up the stairs past him, tripped on the cracked cement step and was saved from a nasty fall backwards by Yakko's quick arm, which he shot out to grab him, causing him to drop one of the grocery bags.

Yakko sighed as he heard a couple of more eggs break in between Wakko's laughs.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Mom?" Yakko called softly, opening the front door. It was unlocked – not unusual – mom and dad never locked the door. Yakko, however, was worried about what may come wandering in if he didn't. The whole neighborhood knew the Warner kids were there by themselves a lot.

Of course, the whole neighborhood also knew the Warner's didn't have much to steal, so he doubted that anyone would come in. But still, it seemed like a prudent thing to do – there were a lot of nuts in ToonTown.

One of his parent's must have left at some point though – he had locked the door when he and Wakko left earlier.

Wondering where they would have gone to so early, Yakko went to put his key back in his pocket when he felt the door crash open from his hands as Wakko burst in, screaming "Dot" at the top of his lungs.

Almost dropping the bag with the eggs in it for a fourth time, Yakko said, "Calm down, they're not home."

"Where are they?"

"How should I know, you little terror?" Yakko mumbled, already in the kitchen. "I've been watching you bounce on every sign post in ToonTown the last hour."

"Dot's home!" Wakko screamed. Yakko hurried out of the kitchen and followed the giggling and babbling sounds back to his parents' bedroom. He entered to see his sister sitting on his parent's bed, giggling at Wakko as he began singing his own, very unique version of _Sweet Adeline_.

_Dammitt_, thought Yakko. _She could not stay here for even a few hours with her? She left an infant alone in an unlocked house..._

He went to the bed and picked up Dot, who giggled some more and made what he thought was an attempt at giving him a hug. He checked her – she seemed OK – just happy that someone was paying attention to her.

Wakko was bouncing on his toes. "How come she gets to stay by herself? You won't let me!"

"You're too little."

"She's littler than I am!" he exclaimed. Yakko looked at Wakko, who was simply shaking at this point. Yakko hoped the sugar overload didn't explode his heart.

"She's too little too – she's not supposed to be by herself either." He replied. Yakko watched as Wakko began to chase his tail – around and around, faster and faster...Wakko was making him dizzy.

Vowing again to never give Wakko another soda - _no, anything with sugar in it period,_ he corrected himself, he carried Dot into the kitchen to finish putting away the groceries. Placing her in her highchair for safekeeping, he went through the bags.

They didn't have much, but Yakko actually felt very proud of himself. With his parents failing miserably in their jobs as providers, caregivers – heck, even managing to stay in the same apartment as their children for longer than it took to sleep it off – he had actually found a job. Sure, he hadn't been looking for one, and he had a feeling that being employed, no matter in what capacity at his age was not entirely legal, but he didn't see where that should matter.

Opening the cabinets and looking inside, he was happy he had taken Ms. Goose up on her offer, no matter how silly he was going to feel wearing any costume she came up with. Mother Hubbard's cupboards had not been this bare. He put the lone package of pancake mix on the shelf – Wakko had not seen him pick it up, but would be thrilled in the morning.

Trying to wipe broken egg off the loaf of bread, Yakko looked up in surprise when he heard something that sounded like his name, in between rumbles of thunder. It was too high sounding and quiet to have been Wakko, plus he could hear him banging something around in one of the other rooms – probably still chasing his tail.

"Yakky. Yakky."

It sounded like a bird, a high little chirping sound. He looked around quickly, and saw nothing. He shrugged and shoved the seven eggs lucky enough to survive the hellish trip home in the refrigerator, along with the milk.

"Yakky?"

He looked at the refrigerator – was it getting ready to go? They were going to be in a lot of trouble if it broke – the landlord was not exactly known for being on top of it when it came to fixing things...

"Yakky? Yakky?"

The sound was coming from behind him. He thought of something.

He turned around to look at his sister, still sitting happily in her high chair. _No way,_ he thought. _Well, maybe_...

"You say something sis?" He questioned, walking toward her. She just continued to look at him, giggling and waving her arms.

"Well, I thought I heard something." She blew a raspberry at him and grinned, showing him the baby teeth still coming in. "Oh, so sorry to bother you." He bowed playfully to her, grinning when he heard her laugh, then wincing when he heard something crash from the bedroom.

"Wakko, be careful!"

"Yakky!"

This time he knew he heard it.

He walked to his sister and picked her out of the highchair. He peered into her little white face.

"Stop playing with me sis – you said it, didn't you?"

"Yakky!" She exclaimed, laughing and throwing her head back. Yakko was stunned, staring at the furry black bundle in his arms, then couldn't help the wide smile that broke across his face – she was talking! And, like Wakko, her first word had been his name. Well, almost, but it was close enough for him.

"You did it sis!" He yelled, jumping in the air with her in his arms, and she continued to laugh. "Say it again!" he demanded.

"Yakky! Yakky! Yakky!"

Yakko felt the same feeling of pride he did when Wakko had first said his name. He started dancing around the kitchen holding her, hearing her laugh, and thought this was probably one of the best days of his life. Both siblings talking – he was overjoyed. He turned as Wakko ran into the kitchen, skidded to a stop, and collapsed on the floor, panting heavily and eyes wide open.

"Why are you so happy? Is it your birthday?"

"Nope – something even better sibling! Dot's talking!" He held the baby down face-to-face with Wakko. "See?"

"Yakky!" She yelled into Wakko's face.

He looked around her head at Yakko. "Big deal – I've been doing _that_ for years. Can we go to the park now?"

Surprised that Wakko wasn't more impressed, but not letting it bother him, Yakko replied, "It's the first time she's spoke Wakko, give her a break, huh?" Yakko looked at the clock, wincing slightly when he noticed the time – then heard another clap of thunder. "Sorry kiddo - it's getting late. Plus, I hear that thunder, even if _you_ are choosing to ignore it." Turning to shift Dot into a more comfortable position, he asked, "Want to read a story?"

"No, I want to go on the swings."

"No Wakko."

"You promised to take me."

"I promised if you behaved, which you really didn't." Wakko looked at him in confusion. Yakko thought quickly.

Deciding on a different tactic, Yakko said, "Look Wakko, it's been a long day – you never even got your nap. You're going to be tired soon." _Real soon_ he hoped. "How about we watch a movie – maybe eat some of the popcorn? I'll take you to the park tomorrow when it's daytime."

Wakko stomped his foot, then ruined the effect by yawning. "No – I want to go now!"

"No Wakko – it's too late. Tomorrow."

"But I - "

"No."

"Yaaaaaaakkooooo," he whined, eyes filling with tears, "We always do what _you_ want to doooooooo."

Yakko silently groaned. _Tears_ – the downfall of big brothers everywhere. That and _the whine_. He hated to upset his brother, and he did promise. It was getting later – they weren't heading out to the park at this time, no matter how piercing his whining got. Not to mention he was not going to risk all of them getting colds by wandering around in a storm. He had to choose the safety of all three of them over his siblings' desire to play.

Yakko looked down at Wakko - he usually only got this whiny when he was really tired. Tears streaming down his face, he was giving Yakko a woebegone look, lower lip trembling. Yakko got an idea – he could distract him from the park by playing something more exciting... He crouched down; Dot still in his arms, and looked at Wakko.

"Tell ya what sib? You want to play, right? You're about to bounce off the wall." He got a vigorous nod from Wakko. Yakko shifted Dot to his left arm and pulled Wakko in for a hug, wiping his eyes with his glove at the same time. He waited until Wakko looked at him, and then continued. "How about we play something different, and something Dot can play with us – ehhhhhhhhh – we can play Hide and Seek? Dot can stay with me...you like that game, right?"

Yakko watched as Wakko thought, tongue hanging out the left side of his mouth, and then he grinned and nodded. Yakko heaved a sigh of relief – crisis averted. Thankfully Wakko was usually easy to please. Yakko watched him yawn again, and knew it was going to be a short game. Yakko knew from prior experience with Wakko that if he took to long to find him, Wakko would usually get bored and fall asleep. The first time they played, Yakko was sent into a panic when he could not find Wakko, finally finding him fifteen minutes into the game when he discovered him under the kitchen cabinet, asleep.

Yakko sat on the couch. "Me and Dot will hunt for you, OK?" Wakko nodded. "OK – here we go." Yakko put his hands over his eyes. "One, two, three..." He lifted his right ear higher, and heard Wakko scurrying off to their bedroom. "Guess he's going to hide under the bed again," he mumbled to Dot. Dot smiled, let out a burp, and grasped his nose.

Still counting out loud, Yakko pulled his nose free from her grip and headed into the kitchen. Wakko may be crashing from his sugar high, but he was hungry, and he imagined Dot was as well. She didn't seem cranky or whiny, so he supposed that she got her nap. Hopefully, Wakko would sleep through the night. If he fell asleep like Yakko thought he would, Wakko would be missing dinner, but he expected him to be ravenous in the morning.

Yakko made dinner for himself and Dot, and then went to find Wakko. Luckily, the search was over in less than a minute – Wakko had not even bothered to hide. He was sleeping in the middle of the bedroom floor on his side, curled up with his bunny.

Smiling and rolling his eyes, Yakko picked him up and put him to bed.

XXXXXXXXXX

As expected, the next morning, Wakko was up earlier than normal. Yakko had woken up when his brother sat up quickly, making the bed frame shake and creak and bouncing the thin mattress. One of these days, it was going to fall with them on it.

Yakko watched him, his eyes barely open, listening to the rain pelting the window. Wakko slowly crawled over to Yakko, and he closed his eyes. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, Wakko would go back to sleep even for a little while...

_No such luck_, he thought, as he felt Wakko using one little finger to open his eye. They looked at each other.

"Awake?"

"I am now."

"Oh good. I'm hungry."

"I'm shocked."

Yakko slowly got up; he stayed up way to late the night before, reading, watching the two channels he was able to get on the TV, and sitting in the window, watching the storm and thinking. He made a mental note to not stay up until 3:00 A.M. when he knew for a fact that Wakko would be waking up early. He rolled over and looked at the clock – 7:18 A.M.

He moaned and rolled out of bed, forgetting where he was and falling to the floor. He heard his brother giggling, and he popped back up to look at him. Wakko was sitting in the middle of the bed, laughing and holding his plushy. Making a face at Wakko, which got him laughing harder, Yakko got up and quickly got dressed. Wakko was in a playful mood, and Yakko spent ten minutes tickling him before getting him dressed as well. Setting him on the floor, he looked across the hall, noticing that his parents' door was still open. They had not come home.

With a slight frown, he walked across the hall and peered in. Dot was in her crib, still asleep. He checked on her, Wakko watching him from the doorway. She was fine, so he led Wakko to the kitchen, where he went into a fit of rapture at the mere thought of pancakes, even if he didn't have any syrup. He seemed content to have Yakko coat them in raspberry jelly for him. Yakko shook his head and complied. Without syrup, he thought they tasted like little frisbees.

As it was still raining outside, Yakko was going to have to find some way to keep his sibs entertained all day. With Dot still asleep, Yakko sat on the couch and called his brother over, deciding this was a good time to talk to Wakko about his employment. Hoping that he was not dumping too much on his little brother's head, he held him on his lap and explained everything that had happened yesterday, in what he hoped was simple enough language for him to understand.

To his complete and utter delight, Wakko not only seemed to understand, he wanted to help. Informing him that he needed help finding a story more than anything at this point, Yakko grabbed the books they rented yesterday, and began to read the stories, taking a break when Dot woke up. They played with Dot a few hours, having her crawling across the floor to them while they called to her, while she continuously said "Yakky" and other things not really intelligible.

After a lunch of more jelly pancakes, they returned to the couch to read. Wakko seemed fascinated with "_Red Riding Hood_" and "_Jack and the Beanstalk_", and Yakko marked those two stories to suggest to SweetStreudel.

As Yakko was reading the stories to Wakko, who was taking his new position of "official story picker" very seriously, Yakko mentally was worrying. Where were their parents? He was used to them staying out at all hours of the day and night, but they never actually disappeared. Maybe Mom did not leave the house willingly – maybe something happened – that's why Dot was left alone in an unlocked house? There was no shortage of people who would like to do something to his father, he knew that, but his Mom – she could be irritating, but still, she never really angered a lot of people...more silly than sinister.

He looked at Wakko on his left leg, Dot on his right, both looking at the bright pictures in the book. He smiled, and continued reading. Hopefully, they would show up soon...

They passed the day in each other's company, reading story after story and listening to the falling rain, while the fire escape creaked and moaned outside the window.

End Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

-1I appreciate everyone's reviews. Thank you - they really make my day.

Thanks to Dane for helping me and letting me bounce ideas off his head at one in the morning, and to _DancesWithCorpses_ for going through my awful spelling and making this readable.

Enjoy.

_Chapter 3 – Frights and Delights_

"Wakko."

"Ahhhh gee!"

"No. Wakko."

"Waks! Yakky! Gaahahahaha! Cutie!"

"No, Dottie! Say it right - Wakko!"

"No! Ahahaha - Yakky!"

"Give it up Wakko. Until her little tongue can curl around your name, you're Waks."

Yakko snorted at the frown Wakko shot him. Ever since Dot had surprised him in the kitchen last Saturday with his name, he had been increasing the amount of simple words he said to her in an effort to expand her vocabulary. So far, she had said several words: 'Yakky', 'Waks', 'cutie', 'baby' and 'no'. He had a feeling she picked up 'no' from Wakko; it seemed to be his favorite word of the moment.

'Waks' had earned her a scowl from Wakko when he first heard it. As the three of them had been sitting on the floor playing, she had surprised them with 'Waks', her second word. Sort of.

While Yakko had been delighted, Wakko had been less then pleased with his new moniker. He constantly said 'no' to her and kept pushing her, finally confusing and upsetting her enough she had started crying. Yakko had picked up Dot and telling Wakko to hush, had tried to explain that hitting was not going to get her to say his name correctly, and he should apologize to his sister. "No" had been the reply.

Rolling his eyes, Yakko had spent the next few minutes trying to tell him that she was learning, and she would be able to say his name before he knew it. He had a feeling that Wakko didn't believe him – "No she won't" had been his next reply.

He then spent several more minutes telling Wakko that yelling his name in her face was more than likely not going to teach her to say his name right any quicker. "No don't tell me what to do" was the new reply.

Then Wakko had spent several minutes sitting in the corner for biting him when he tried to pick him up. For his size, Wakko had a powerful set of jaws.

The whole 'toddler development stage' was probably the most exhausting thing Yakko could imagine, and not for the toddler either. The most exciting thing about it all was he was going to get to go through it twice, since Dot would be next.

Maybe girls were easier...

Snapping back to Dot, he looked at her in his arms. She was saying the same five words over and over - he hoped he never heard the phrase "Yakky cutie" after she finally got speech mastered.

_Well_, he thought, _it was better than when Wakko had said his first word_.

After saying Yakko's name, he had not said another word for an entire week. Yakko had almost started to doubt he had heard it at all before Wakko had spouted a whole crop of words at him. He shrugged; every kid was different.

Yakko quietly closed the apartment door behind him, double checking it was locked. Breathing a sigh of relief, he began to walk down the stairs, holding Dot in his right arm, holding Wakko's hand and the library books with his left.

Happily, he had not woken his parents. They had come home just as he and his siblings were getting up, surprising him - he did not think they would be home at all. Mom had greeted him, dressed in a long, slinky red dress that was cut low in the front and back. She had gone into the bathroom and gotten violently sick.

Slacko, dressed in a black suit, staggered to the couch, growled a "Good Morning" to Yakko that hardly expressed that wish, and stared at the television. Yakko thought the television was vastly more entertaining if it was turned on, but did not think his father would appreciate the advice. Mom had come out ten minutes later, smelling horrible, and sat on the couch with Slacko.

He got Wakko and Dot fed; he couldn't eat, his stomach was making little flip-flop motions. By the time that was done, both his parents were either asleep or passed out on the couch; it was impossible to tell, and he was not going to check.

If they were relatively sober, it would not be quite as dangerous; if though, they were sleeping it off, it would be hazardous to get near either of them.

Mom still had a lit cigarette still in her hand. He had grabbed it and put it out in the blue ashtray on the floor. They didn't have much, but he'd hate to see what they did have get burned up in a blaze by his mom's carelessness. Looking at the couch again, he then decided if everyone got out of the house it would probably not be that big a loss - when he got older, nothing in his house was going to be avocado green.

He had then hustled Wakko back to the bedroom to get the library books, and directing him to be very quiet, they snuck through the living room to the building hallway.

Stepping out of the apartment building into the sunshine, he reminded Wakko to be careful of the top step, and still holding his hand, watched him leap nimbly over it. Reaching the sidewalk, he let go of Wakko's hand, reminded him to stay to his left, away from the street, and shifted the books to his now free hand as Dot started laughing and grabbing at his head. She grabbed a small handful of fur, and he winced as he felt several hairs separate themselves from his face.

"What's gonna happen today?"

Looking down at his brother, Yakko said, "Well, I'm going to go up to the front with Grandmother SweetStreudel. You remember our talking about this? We've talked about this a couple of times." He waited for his nod, and then continued. "You're going to sit on the floor, watch me make a fool of myself, and stay with Dot, right?"

"Right! And you're using the story I picked, right?"

"Yep, sure am." After reading seventeen stories throughout the week, a couple of them several times, Wakko had chosen "Jack and the Beanstalk" as his 'absolutist most favorite story ever'. It was a decent enough story, but what really made points with Yakko was the fact that Grandmother SweetStreudel had never read it. That in and of it self made it literary gold.

"And you're gonna be wearing a costume?"

He had to remind him of course; he wasn't nervous enough. "Yeah, I'll be wearing something I guess," he mumbled.

He remembered what she said last week; bell, hat, feathers - it made him think of a couple of different things, each more terrible than the last. He was going to be dressed as a turkey wearing a jester hat was his latest fear. Prior to that he was envisioning an angel dressed as Farmer Smurf.

Maybe she just had a perverted sense of humor - he was praying for the stupid elf costume; maybe she

was going to have him wear a feather in the cap or something.

"What's gonna happen to your clothes?"

Yakko blinked, a bit surprised - it was a good question. "I can give them to you to hold."

"OK." Wakko started hopping on cracks in the sidewalk, and Yakko switched Dot to his other arm; that side of his face was going numb from her hitting that side of his head and saying "Yakky baby" in his ear.

It was extremely windy today, but at least the rain and thunderstorms that had plagued ToonTown the last week had tapered off. It was actually turning out to be a surprisingly pleasant day. Yakko inhaled - the rain had washed away the stench that usually permeated their section of town. It almost smelled clean. Another positive - it helped clean the sidewalk, washing most of the trash and piles of mystery gunk into the street. _The Committee for a Tidy ToonTown_ didn't make it their priority to come to Plympton District to clean up on a regular basis. Storms were really their best hope for a trash free sidewalk. Of course, now the street was a mess.

This walk was taking forever; he felt like he was going to his own execution. He had the same feeling of nervousness and dread that he experienced for the first portion of this week, for different reasons. Stomach twisting in knots, he remembered his parents rowdy return at 3:00 A.M. Tuesday morning.

XXXXXXXXXX

Barging in the front door, his father had been hollering about the rubes, piano's, and a casino, using some very colorful adjectives to describe them. Meanwhile, his mother, also a little too loudly, was proclaiming that they did have a blast though - things were looking up for the Warners.

Yakko had heard them in the hallway before they entered the apartment, voices raised, and his father's heavy footsteps echoing. He had lain in bed, debating if he should get up, when he felt the room rattle from the force of the door being thrown open, slamming in the wall. After hearing the hollering and yelling, he decided to stay in the bed and be on guard, holding his breath and feeling his heart rate speeding up.

Unfortunately, their grand entrance had woken both Wakko and Dot; Wakko jumped a foot in the air before landing on Yakko's abdomen, violently forcing him into breathing again, while Dot screeched loudly in his ear. He had struggled to calm both of them down when his mother threw open the bedroom door, flooding the bedroom with light from the kitchen.

His father stomped into the bathroom, yelling at Yakko about why the three of them were not asleep. They had worked hard - they expected to come home to a quiet house, and to shut those brats up.

As Yakko held his two sobbing siblings, he squinted into the light - his mother was dressed in a really expensive looking outfit - a long green sequined gown with a slit so high up the side he was surprised it wasn't illegal, with matching heels and some sort of wrap. She proclaimed loudly and drunkenly that they were home, they had a wonderful time; and they should be quiet when they got up because they were going to bed. She then slammed the bedroom door as Yakko heard the shower start.

As the aged water pipes creaked and his mother sang about something or another in her bedroom, Yakko looked down at his two siblings; Wakko trembling in his lap; Dot bawling, choking out "Yakky" and "No" in between sobs. Putting his arm around Wakko, he had murmured to both of them that it was OK, their missing parents were home, and they should go back to sleep.

Dot slowly stopped crying, lulled by his voice. Wakko, sniffing and clutching his bunny, had asked why their parents were mad at them all the time, and Yakko's heart broke. How was he supposed to explain something he had trouble understanding himself to his baby brother?

Looking into Wakko's tear-filled eyes, seeing them reflecting the light of the neon lights across the street through the window, he had to do some fast thinking. Hating to lie to him, but refusing to give him the truth at his age, he told him that Mom and Dad had some problems, but they still loved all of them, and it would help Mom and Dad if they stayed quiet and went back to sleep. From the look Wakko shot him, he had a feeling that Wakko didn't really believe him, but he allowed Yakko to lay him back down, where, hiccupping, he had curled up on Yakko's left arm and cried himself to sleep.

Yakko, having no more tears left to cry, had laid awake the rest of the night, feeling both his arms going numb from his sleeping siblings.

XXXXXXXXXX

At around four in the morning, Yakko heard his mother get up and begin to get violently sick. She was in there long enough that he had been getting up to check on her when he finally heard the toilet flush and his mother head back to the bedroom, staggering into the walls as she did so. A slight flash of worry went through his mind; as much as his parents drank, he rarely heard them get sick off it. He pushed his worry down; they knew what they were doing he supposed. They had been doing it long enough.

It had started raining around five in the morning. Still lying awake in bed, Yakko listened as the rain got heaver, the winds picked up, and he heard the familiar drip, drip, drip, of the window leaking. This happened every time it rained too hard; no wonder the floor was starting to rot near the windows. Grumbling about their cheap landlord, he shifted, pulling Dot and Wakko closer to him, away from the edge of the bed, and closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come.

At dawn, Yakko had given up even trying to get any sleep and had crawled out of bed, managing to wiggle out from both his siblings without waking them. Getting dressed, he went to the bathroom to grab a few towels, so thin they could barely hold any water, and threw them on the window sills, trying to soak up as much of the water as he could.

With a yawn and what up to that point was the worst headache of his entire life, he threw the soaked towels in the bathtub. He would do laundry later. He wandered into the kitchen, intent on getting some breakfast, when he head Dot making soft cooing sounds across the hall.

He went back into the bedroom and picked her up off the bed. Wakko was still asleep, curled in a ball in the middle of the bed, covers thrown off, and his bunny on the floor. Yakko picked the scrap of fur off the floor, tucked it in next to him and covered him with the blanket. He didn't see any reason to wake him this early.

_Let one of the Warner Brothers get some sleep_, he thought. _He'll wake up when he's ready_.

Yakko carried Dot into the kitchen, and was floored when he saw a bag on the table. Surprised, but pleased none the less. At least their parents had not totally forgotten about them, which was what he had been starting to think after not seeing them for almost seventy-two hours.

He turned to Dot, still in his arms and babbling. "Want to see what they got us Dottie?"

"Nooooooooo Yakky."

"Yeah, you're right; could be more mystery meat."

"Gaaahahahaha baby!"

Snorting, he dragged her highchair out of the corner and placed it at the table while he rummaged through the bag. Their food supply was starting to get low, but with the nonstop rain, he was reluctant to walk with his sibs to the store. He had a very big fear of one of them getting sick. Wakko and Dot seemed healthy enough, but if they got colds, he would be unable to do much.

Doctors cost money; a lot of money. Doctor's were few and far between in ToonTown, and the ones that were available were in the better sections of town, and from what Yakko had heard, their prices were hardly what one could call "reasonable". Course, it took a lot of brains and tutoring to be a toon doctor - excellent grades, a fair amount of money, and the good luck to be taken in by another toon doctor or, if you were really special, an animator. Everyone knew that the best doctors around were trained by the animators.

Rolling his eyes, he removed the blue bag from the top - feeling the heavy glass bottle through the bag and the liquid sloshing around inside. With a little sneer, he put the bottle on the counter, avoiding Dot's outstretched hands. A few slices of cheese, a gallon of milk, another loaf of bread smashed from the bottle, a can of peas of all things, and as expected, a can of mystery meat and more eggs.

"If I have to eat another egg, I'm going to start clucking," he muttered.

He put the carton in the refrigerator, somewhat amazed that they survived the trip to the apartment if they had been slammed by the bottle.

"Hungry Dottie?" he asked her, turning to look at her in the highchair.

"Yakky cutie!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

As he was preparing breakfast, Wakko wandered out, still sleepy looking and clutching his bunny, so at least he only had to cook once.

Wakko was unusually quiet, as was Dot, so Yakko spent another morning reading to them or playing quietly. Not sure what was wrong with his parents, he was not going to risk waking them and having their wrath come down on all three of them. Finally noticing the time, he put them down for their naps, to which neither of them seemed to object to.

Yakko grabbed one of his library books and stretched out on the couch, listening to the rain pelt the windows. He got about forty minutes of uninterrupted reading before he heard the bedroom door open. From the light tread, he knew it was his mother.

Wondering what mood she would be in, he was already placing a piece of paper back into his book to save his spot when she came into view.

Yakko cocked an eyebrow upon seeing his mother. She looked thinner than normal. Dressed only in a thin pink nightgown which hung from her frame, she shambled over to the couch, steps still graceful despite her condition. As she sat down, she barely missed Yakko's legs. He quickly pulled them out of the way as he looked at her face. She should really wash off that heavy make-up - she looked like a clown.

He watched her light a cigarette, shaking out the match and throwing it on the floor, completely missing the large blue ashtray.

_It's always in the same place, you would think by now she would know exactly where it was_, he thought, watching the smoldering match burn yet another tiny hole in the carpet.

She inhaled deeply on the cigarette, and Yakko watched as the smoke curled toward the ceiling. His ears, already upright and tense from the door opening abruptly earlier, caught her sniffing, and looked over at her, shocked to see her crying, tears dripping from her eyes and clinging to her dark fur.

"Mom? Mom!" Unsure if he was making the right decision, he moved over to the middle cushion to put his arm around her shoulder. She turned her head to give him a tear-filled glare.

"You didn't tell me Dot was talking."

"I couldn't tell you - you weren't here when I got back."

"Oh Yakko, I couldn't stay - I had to be somewhere! I thought you would be back before I left - I mean, how long can you possibly stay in a library!"

As Yakko watched her start laughing, wiping her eyes and smiling at him, he marveled at how she could change her emotions from upset at missing her daughter's first word to giggling about time spent in a library. He could tell she was really torn up about it too. She shook off his arm and turned so she was facing him on the couch.

"I wasn't able to tell you honey - I was going to leave a note, but I couldn't find a pencil - you're father and I got jobs!"

Yakko started laughing, saw her look at him, and quickly changed it to a cough. She misunderstood, and began to pound him on the back.

"Honey, are you OK?"

"Fine Mom, fine."

His mind was reeling - employment - both of them? He wondered if it was legal. He had very hazy memories of his father working as a street magician and a piano player at a jazz bar a few years ago, right around the time Wakko had begun to talk. He thought his mother might have been a singer at some seedy lounge over in Lounsbery, but was not positive.

"But did you hear me honey? We both got jobs – musical jobs - just like the old days - before all of you were born and got in the -" She caught herself, saw Yakko's narrowed eyes, giggled and said, "I mean…"

Yakko sighed. "I know what you meant Mom."

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds before Yakko, not being able to stand the quiet, decided to change the subject.

"So…A job. Jobs. That's great." _Wonder how long this will last_, he thought. "Where? Doing what?"

She giggled, delighted to talk about her latest endeavor. "Over at Whiplash's Lounge! Oh sweetie - it's wonderful! You're father got hired as the piano player, and I'm the new singer!"

Whiplash's Lounge? That place was a real dive - it was constantly on the television, either being raided by _Toons Against Alcohol Dependence_ or temporarily shut down for contributing to gross toon misconduct. They should fit right in.

"Sounds great Mom. Is that where you were all weekend?"

"Yes!" She hugged herself, looking like a ten year old in heavy makeup. "All weekend! And the regulars are so friendly! Why, many of them bought me drinks in-between my songs!"

Well, no wonder she was excited about it.

"Oh. Ok. I was just wondering, because, you know, you left an infant alone, in an unlocked house...wasn't sure what happened...was sort of worried…just mighta been nice to know where you were..."

"I don't have to explain where I was to you!" Again, the amazing mood swings. "I can come and go as I please! Who's the adult here?"

_What an interesting question_, he thought.

"Sorry Mom, sorry." Not wanting to upset her by debating who was more mature, he instead asked, "So, what hours do you and dad work now?"

"Night shift honey. Thursdays thru Monday." She grabbed his hands, all signs of anger gone, and looked into his eyes. "We may not come home those nights - Snidely offered us a free room on the nights we work, we will come home here and there of course….I needed to ask you honey - these nights your father and I work - can you stay with Wakko and Dot? I'm so worried, leaving them all alone, it's the only thing holding me back…"

He looked at her like she was deranged. Maybe she was - at this point, who could say? She left an infant alone….how many times have they all been left alone? He watched them all the time…an eight year old, watching a three year old and an infant by himself for five days a week - TIS would have a field day…

"Sure Mom, I doubt watching them will cut much into my busy social life."

Again, sarcasm wasn't really funny is your audience was dumb as a rock.

With a laugh and throwing her arms around him, she said, "I knew I could count on you honey - my precious little boy! You really are something special!"

She gave him a kiss on the forehead, and he could barely keep his lunch down. She needed a shower - cigarettes, unwashed bodies, booze, cheap perfume… He tried not to inhale and smiled at her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Snapping back to the present, Yakko watched out of the corner of his eye as Wakko, growing bored with his musing brother, tried to sneak off behind him toward the street.

"Wakko, remember our _other_ talk last week?"

Wakko gave him a pout, and moved back beside him, away from the street. Traffic was heavy today on the street and on the sidewalk. Of course, they had left a lot earlier than they normally did for the library.

On his first day of work, Yakko thought it would look better if he arrived early. Plus, his parents passed out in the living room made it detrimental to his health to have him and the sibs running around making too much noise.

"Please behave, OK? I'm anxious enough as it is - you getting squished isn't going to improve my stress level."

"OK," Wakko mumbled.

Yakko shot him another look, and then shifted Dot to his other arm.

"Can I have another soda today?"

For one of the first times this week, Yakko threw his head back and laughed. "You have got to be kidding me! After last week's adventure, you're lucky I've let you drink anything stronger than water."

"Please?"

"No way. I'll let you have an apple juice if you behave."

"OK."

Surprised that he was being so compliant, Yakko shrugged. It was better than the answer he expected – "No-I-don't-want-that-I-want-soda". Maybe he was finally getting over the 'No' phase.

Yakko turned to look at his brother, and watched as Wakko splashed in a particularly large puddle, splashing himself, Yakko, and a passing toon woman with dirty water. He used his free arm to quickly yank his brother back from the soaked lady, and offered her an apology before she bopped all of them over the head with her umbrella. Giving Wakko a stern look, he told him to stay out of the puddles, and when he got Wakko's mumbled "OK", they continued on.

The walk today seemed like it was taking forever. Swallowing again, he wondered why the lump in his throat was not going away and his gloves were soaked with sweat.

XXXXXXXXXX

His fit of nerves was well-founded. This was an absolute disaster.

Upon walking up to the library, still trying to swallow and not shake, he had opened the door, returned their books, freed his own ear from Dot's 'growing-more-powerful-everyday' grasp, had to get back the book with "Jack and the Beanstalk", stopped Wakko from climbing one of the shelves, and led him to the children's section. Asking Wakko to please sit on the floor near some shelves, he put Dot next to him, where she began to grab every book within her reach off the bottom shelf. He then had to move them out to the middle of the floor, and grabbed a book for Wakko to look at, crouching down to hand it to him.

Of course, Wakko said "No" and would not look at the book. He had to teach him a few new words one of these days. Something like, "Ok Yakko, I'll sit here and not be a pain."

Yeah, that would work.

Giving Wakko the book anyway, he stood up and looked around, then saw Grandmother Sweetstrudel sitting in the big squishy purple chair she always sat in up against the front wall, dressed in her hideous muumuu. She had apparently been watching them since they came in, because she shot him a little smirk and waved him over.

Telling Wakko to stay where he was, quietly, and keep an eye on Dot, who was sitting up and chattering something, he walked over to where Sweetstrudel was.

"You look like you haven't slept. You're early though, by ten minutes. I'm impressed. Though why you are soaked; nevermind, I don't want to know."

"Good morning to you, too," he answered, happy his voice was not shaking as much as he feared it would be. He tried swallowing - the lump was still there. And his mouth had gone dry.

"Ah, the gentleman as always. Did you pick out a story?"

Happy that he had done something that would please her, he handed her the book. She looked at the cover.

"Jack and the Beanstalk, huh? Why'd you choose this one?"

"My brother liked it."

"Good enough for me. Haven't read this one in years."

"I figured."

"You can start setting up the refreshments. Bring a few to your brother over there; he's eating the book."

Yakko turned quickly to see Wakko eating the book. With an annoyed sigh, he shot Wakko a look that happily he understood; he stopped and shot Yakko his best 'I didn't do anything wrong' look. He quickly began opening the cookies and setting them out on the table, examining one. Where did she get these things? It looked like a fudge covered snake.

Not really caring what they looked like, he threw four of them on a napkin and brought them to Wakko.

"I'm thirsty Yakko."

"Look, Wakko, please, just wait a few minutes, OK? I'll get you something to drink then."

"OK."

Yakko watched as Wakko ate a cookie, breaking one in half to give to Dot. Satisfied that if he had food, he would behave for a bit, he went back to Goose; there was still forty-five minutes left until the story session officially started.

"You all ready kid?" she asked, watching him.

"I guess," he said nervously. "What do you want me to do now?"

That's when she pulled out a large wad of feathers. Eyeing it with uncertainty, he reached out to touch it - did she want him to dress as a down comforter? He shot her a confused look.

Smiling, she unfolded the wad to reveal the stupidest costume he had seen to date; it was a duck. Complete with bill, green neck ribbon with three large dangling bells, huge orange feet, and a straw hat. The top part of the face section was open; the rest was covered in white feathers. He felt a bit hot, and noticed that he was developing a facial tic.

"You're kidding."

"What? I told you I was providing you a costume, what did you expect?"

"Not to be dressed up as Jeremiah Puddle-duck. I'm not wearing that."

"It's a goose costume, not a duck - I don't care much for ducks. What do you think?"

Yakko had been unaware what the saying 'To Make Your Blood Run Cold' meant up until that time. He now understood it completely.

"Nu huh. No way lady."

"What?" She looked at it, fondly stroking the chest section. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's a duck. It's a duck with a ribbon and a Panama hat. I'm not wearing that."

"You will…" she trilled at him.

"No. I'm leaving. Quickly."

"You accepted the job - you have to wear it."

"I don't have to do much, and I'm not wearing that." He turned, planning on grabbing Wakko and Dot and leaving this accused place and never returning, when she spoke again.

"Listen Yakko," she said with an edge to her voice. "You took the job - you told me last week you wanted it. I fired my other two assistants, expecting you to fulfill the role. You can't leave me high and dry."

"Watch me."

"Well, go ahead, if you feel that way. Nice lesson to teach your younger siblings though - take an old lady's money, say you'll do something, then run out. Not to mention the disappointment from the other children - they expect fun and songs from my assistant, while I rest."

This woman played dirty pool, dragging his sibs into it; he usually tried to set a good example, _someone_ had to in his house, but really, this was expecting too much. Gritting his teeth, he turned to give her a nasty look.

"Leave my siblings out of it. And the other children are not my problem." He had enough on his plate. The headache he had blossomed into a full blown migraine.

"Plus, I was thinking of finishing up a few minutes early - show you something, if you were interested, but, since you are walking out on me in my hour of need…," she trailed out with huge sad sigh.

He couldn't believe this. The old bat was trying to play him like a flute. Looking at her, he saw she was now grinning. She gave a nod to indicate he should turn his head. He did, and saw both Wakko and Dot watching him intently, both of their ears cocked up to hear the argument. He then more fully understood another saying about "little pitchers having big ears".

Wearing an extremely smug smile, she shook the costume at him. Looking at the costume, then at her, he snatched it with an extreme amount of ill grace and stormed off to the bathroom to change and get sick, telling Wakko to keep his furry butt parked where it was at. He watched SweetStrudel waddle over to Wakko and Dot and speak to them, and groaned when Wakko and SweetStrudel waved at him.

XXXXXXXXXX

He had never felt more of an idiot than he did at this point in his life.

He had been standing by Grandmother SweetStrudel's chair for an hour, usually watching her read, or taking quick glimpses into the crowd. On the two occasions he caught Wakko's eye, Wakko had loudly said "Hi Yakko!" and waved at him, sparking chuckles from some of the parents, confused looks from the other children, and a glare from Yakko.

The crowd of children had no idea who Yakko was; but they knew who "Puddles the Goose" was.

After Grandmother SweetStrudel introduced him by this humiliating new alias, she asked him to step forward and bow to the audience. He stepped forward, tripped over his giant webbed feet, and promptly fell on his face to the roars of the children, with a "Nooooooooo Cutie!" thrown in.

Other than that and holding the book up to show off some of the colorful pictures, he had really done nothing but stand beside her like a feathered effigy.

Yakko watched as Grandmother SweetStrudel, or as he now referred to her, "Evil Incarnate", closed the book and looked out at the crowd. And what a crowd it was.

Where had all these kids come from? Every week there were more and more children.

He felt a trickle of sweat run down his back and he shivered slightly, the large bells jingling; the costume was hot, and his nerves were not helping. This had to be what it felt like to roast in hell.

As Grandmother SweetStrudel talked, Yakko, in-between swallowing his fear, restraining himself from bolting to the door, and concentrating on not passing out or getting sick, marveled in the difference from her stage personality to her real personality. How could she go from the acidic tongued Penelope Goose to the honey voiced Grandmother SweetStrudel in so short a time?

It was a stupid question of course; she was an actress; but if he was thinking about that, he didn't have to think about the thirty-two children staring at him. He knew exactly how many were there; he had counted in his first five minutes, while staring at a spot on the back wall so he would not have to meet anyone's eyes. Thirty-two children; eighteen boys, thirteen girls, and another child he could not assign a sex to; sixty-four eyes...

He was snapped out of his rumination with the words "And now boys and girls, isn't this an exciting story?"

"Yes!" chorused back every one of the children, Wakko chiming in a beat late.

Well, at least he picked a good story – the children seemed to be enjoying it. He, personally, had already added the words 'Jack' and 'Beanstalk' to the ever growing list of words he hoped to never hear again.

"But now, it is time for Grandmother's break."

_Excuse me_, he thought, looking at her, his eyes going from glazed to absolute panic in an instant. _Break? What break? Was she leaving him alone up here? No, of course not – were those other two idiots ever alone up here?_ He tried to remember. Maybe he was taking a break too?

"But while I'm resting, why don't you watch Puddles? He's going to sing you a little song – perhaps one about Jack?"

_I don't know any songs about Jack!_ He mentally screamed at her. He tried to tell her that, but he could not get his mouth to work.

"When I come back, we will find out about Jack, the golden goose, and the big mean giant," she said, trying to make a scary face at the children, to which they all laughed.

He had stopped moving, stopped breathing actually, as he stared at her. She was insane – she had to be. She winked at him and gave him a smile, and Yakko dimly wondered what wrong he had done to her in a past lifetime for her to be doing this to him now.

He watched her get out of her chair and shuffle out of the section with another smile at him. He shook his head 'no' so vigorously that the bells swung up and hit him in the face as he waved his arms quick enough he almost took flight with the big feathered wings.

He was in big trouble here - she was leaving…And right out of the children's section she walked, to go get a drink or smoke a cigarette or to do whatever it is that old ladies who like to torture small children do on their breaks

Turning frightened eyes to the crowd, he wondered why he could not make out any individual features...everything was blurry. He was getting ready to pass out - he remembered feeling like this when he fell down the front stairs when he was really little and hitting his head.

Sing, dance, what? She knew how he was feeling - he figured she would let him off easy the first week - it wasn't enough that she was making him wear this ridiculous costume? And he couldn't barely move in it, how was he supposed to dance?

A sea of faces was looking at him; he felt a sharp stinging in his eyes - oh no - he was starting to cry! He was no baby - what was wrong with him?

Blinking back the tears and feeling his throat constrict, he managed to blurt out,

"Um…..ok….uh,…..kids…..and…..others…….watching me, I'm……uh………you want me to…………..sing?"

He heard one of the adults chuckle and say "or do something" loudly, then another one, a large crane, tell his wife he was going to hit the john during this crap, and he felt himself starting to tremble, the bells shaking out a surprisingly merry tune. He was right in his thinking - this was a disaster; the only thing that came to mind that was a bigger disaster was the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.

Looking out into the crowd, he saw Wakko, sitting on the floor, tongue still drooping out the left side of his mouth, holding Dot as well as he could, considering that he was not that much bigger than her. Wakko gave him a smile which Yakko was unable to return, due to the fact that his face was frozen and partially covered by a giant bill. Wakko looked a little upset, but at least didn't put up a ruckus.

What the hell was he supposed to sing? He didn't know any songs. Then one crashed into his head; it didn't have Jack to do with giants or beanstalks, but it summed up his feelings pretty well at this moment. And he knew the lyrics; he'd only seen the movie a hundred times.

"He….Hello……I must be going….I…I…cannotstayIcametosayImustbegoing…"

A song that should have taken several minutes to work his way through ended up taking less than forty-five seconds. He was a bomb. He knew the lyrics to it; he just could not get his mouth to form around the words.

The giant crane returned, loudly asked his wife how much longer this BS was going to continue, and turned to smirk at him.

He then watched with mounting alarm as several children began to grow bored and lose focus on the session; they started to wander off to play with toys, talk, chase each other around…

He was about to panic, something he rarely did because he rarely had the luxury of doing it, when, thankfully, whatever deity was watching over him on this most atrocious day took pity on him. Grandmother SweetStrudel waddled back into the section, looking rested and refreshed. When the children noticed her, all of them (a few being coaxed by their parents) retuned to their previous seats as she picked up the book and asked everyone to settle down.

Yakko, trembling in his costume so hard he feared that the feathers may work their way loose, leaned back against her chair as she sat down, smiled at him, and continued the story, a bit louder than before to be heard over the jingling bells.

He tried to cheer himself up with the thought that at the end of this nightmare, he could go home, hide under his bed, and never come out again.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I quit."

"No you don't."

"I did what I said I would do. I stayed the two hours. I've now been thoroughly humiliated in front of everyone within a five mile radius, and I am not-"

"Nonsense, you did fine."

He really had not been expecting this argument. The way that session went, he had been expecting her to rip the costume off him and boot him out the door before he could tell her he quit. She had even ended the session fifteen minutes early, and he knew it was not because she wanted to 'show him something'.

Well, he congratulated himself, you managed to work somewhere one full shift. Probably more than Dad ever did. If he was still not trying to stop shaking and not throw up, he would have laughed at his own joke.

"Fine? Fine? What mind altering drug did you take on your break? I bombed worse than "The Black Cauldron".

"You had a case of stage fright, nothing more. Here, give me that."

She reached over and took the headpiece of the costume from him and packed it away in her bag. He handed her the rest of the costume; as soon as the session was over, he had begun to rip the costume off right there in front of everyone, desperate to get out of it. He was able to wear his regular clothing under it, so he was not concerned about modesty. He did not expect several children to start crying about how Puddles was attempting a self decapitation.

Forcing the head back on him, Grandmother Sweetstrudel had asked all the children to come up and hug Puddles, as he was feeling a bit under the weather and as a result, was having a bad day. About half the children did - the others were too traumatized by Puddles' mutilation and left the section wailing.

Convinced that he had an ulcer after his, he rubbed his stomach as she continued.

"Everyone gets stage fright at some point, no matter what it is. Mickey Mouse wet 'em when he was trying out for "Fantasia", and he had been performing for years before that audition."

Well, he had managed not to do _that_.

"And Fudd - he stumbled over his lines so bad he was escorted off the lot - they would not let him audition for a few years after that. Look where he's at now. I'm not even going to tell you what Daphne Blake did on her audition."

"This is all really interesting, well, not really." It was actually, but he just wanted to go hang himself. "But I really don't think -"

"Good, that will take time; just listen to me."

He gave an annoyed sigh, and she shot him a piercing look.

"If I didn't think you could do it, I would not have bothered asking you. I don't like to waste my time on lost causes. There's enough of those around here. I'm taking a chance on you; the least you can do is listen to me. But first, come here sweetie," she said, looking over to Wakko, who was still sitting on the floor watching with a confused look. Dot was laying in front of him, asleep, her head resting on his lap.

Wakko looked at Yakko, who nodded his permission, and Wakko started to stand up, pushing Dot's head off his lap. Yakko quickly ran over to take her before Dot's head slammed on the floor.

Grandmother SweetStrudel did a quick spin change, and she was back in her bright muumuu.

She directed Yakko to push her squishy chair up to the table with the left over cookies and punch, and she picked up Wakko, who looked a little surprised and placed him in the chair.

"Help yourself kiddo - they'll just go bad. Yakko, put your sister in the chair next to him - there's room. I want to talk to you privately."

"I can't leave them alone, and we really need to go."

"You're the most frustrating child I've ever met. Put the baby in the chair and come here," she ordered, starting to walk across the room.

He was going to leave, he really was, but it would have been too hard to pull Wakko away from the cookies. Standing in the chair on his toes, he was stretching across the table to grab the cookies. Yakko just realized again that while they were at the story session, they were missing lunch; no wonder Wakko was always hungry and eating all the cookies.

Following her over, he crossed his arms and looked down and to the side, trying not to cry out of anger and frustration.

"Now, look at me." When he refused, she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. He tried to pull away, but she held onto his chin. "That's better; I want to talk to you, not the top of your head. Now, how bad was it, really?"

She's got to be kidding. "That was probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life."

"Yet, you survived. Imagine that."

She wasn't winning any points for her sympathetic manner.

"Barely. Until I get home and jump out the window."

"I hardly see that. Anyway, while you wallow in self-pity, listen to me. You flubbed a few times."

"Quiet a few times," he mumbled.

"OK, so it was not an Oscar performance. Big deal. Half your problem was you were dreading this so much that by the time you got here you were already a nervous wreck. You went up, you did it, and next week, you won't be half as nervous, right?"

"Wrong, there is no 'next week'."

"On top of everything else, you're a quitter?"

This woman knew how to push his buttons. "I'm no quitter lady. If I was, you would have been holding that costume two hours ago and been three boxes of cookies richer."

"Exactly. You stuck it out. I told you I had been watching you prior to you accepting this little gig, even though it gave you the willies," she said, throwing his words from last week into his face. "I've seen you with your siblings - most children, especially at your age, would not be able to handle the responsibility that you seem to take upon yourself on a daily basis. I don't know what your situation is at home, and I don't care to hear it," she added quickly when she saw Yakko start to argue with her. "I'll never push you to tell me anything. But at your age, dealing with two small children, working a job, and doing your little self study session; it's an admirable quality, one of many I'm sure you possess."

"I don't need a pep talk."

"It's not a pep talk exactly, just laying out the facts for you. You're sharp, you're a good looking kid, you have potential. You just need a kick in the ass in the right direction."

She inhaled and continued before Yakko could interrupt. "You didn't like the costume; deal with it – you'll be called on to fill a lot of roles you don't particularly care for. You didn't like being put on the spot. That's your fault," she said, letting go of his chin and poking him in the chest. "You picked out the story - you should have been thinking of something to do; I told you last week I may need you to cover for me for a few minutes while I rested. Life isn't always scripted out for you. You have to be able to think quickly; adapt to the situation, and work with it until you can change it."

Not sure if he should be apologizing for his lack of preparation or furious because he was being chided, he instead blinked at her, speechless.

"Now, if you're over your pity party, I told you I would show you something. Unless you want to quit on that too."

Still shocked by the scolding, he shook his head no.

"Good. Now, first things first; have you read 'Your Hammerspace and You' yet?"

He shook his head yes; it had been one of the first books he rented.

"Did you understand it?"

Getting himself back under control, he answered, "I understood most of it."

"You understand what 'Schlesinger Syndrome' is?"

"A bit. Not every toon can whip out a mallet on demand, or do a spin change, or -"

"Damn right not every toon can. You don't see Mickey Mouse spinning around changing clothes on a whim do you? You ever see that twit Snow White pull a mallet and pound one of those little midgets she likes to hang around with?"

Thinking back, he had to honestly say no.

"They don't have the correct DNA. I have a feeling you do. You have that look."

"What look?" Why was she trying to make this more difficult?

"Just…the look. You can look at most toons and tell."

Yakko was close to just screaming at this point. Goose must have sensed his frustration.

"Don't worry about it right now - that is something to worry about farther down the road. Needless to say - I don't see you as a Disney style toon. Most of them don't even have the ambition to learn this. Several of them probably could, if they would take some time to study. You can't learn all this stuff by hiring some expensive tutor then not taking the time to practice."

"Like who?"

Goose looked like she was deep in thought. "Goofy definitely. That guy could have been really special if he tried."

"How about Donald Duck?" He and Wakko both liked Donald's cartoons.

"You're talking about a toon that gets his ass kicked getting into a hammock. That cartoon? That was no scripted act - a camera man saw it happening and just started filming it for a laugh, never dreaming that it would be shown to anyone outside the studio. Oh, I remember Duck was so mad, he actually…" She seemed to remember that Yakko was listening, because she stopped, then changed the subject.

"Have you tried any of the exercises in the book?"

"No." He actually felt a little embarrassed by the look she gave him.

"Did you expect to obtain these skills while asleep? I told you, you need to practice."

"I don't really have time -"

"Make time. Daily. It's the only way you will master this. If you don't practice, I'm not going to waste my time showing you. Deal?"

Yakko nodded. He did say he wanted to learn. If he did indeed have Schlesinger Syndrome; Goose seemed to think he did, and she appeared to know what she was talking about. He also recalled his father's ranting about how he was special, all his line would be special...

"First things first - you need to open your own hammerspace. Let me demonstrate."

Feeling slightly better, Yakko stepped back to watch as she produced a hammer from behind her back.

"What, no mallet?" he asked.

"It's father back - this was easier to reach."

"Farther back?"

"Yes, farther back - it's behind my umbrella, my purse, and my lunch."

"Your lunch?"

"You turn into a parrot while I wasn't looking? Now, turn around, your first lesson is finding your hammerspace. Honestly, it's one of the hardest things you're ever going to do; and you can do it, if you don't try to quit again. Reach behind you - to the small of your back." Yakko flushed slightly as he did as

she instructed. "Feel anything?"

"No."

"You have to believe its back there."

"Can't you just show me?"

"No. This is something only you can do – I can't see yours. I can't even see mine. You have to know its back there – waiting to be used."

Exasperated, Yakko said, "How am I supposed to know its back there?"

"Suspension of belief my boy. I know you've read about that, the amount of books you've torn through in this library. Here," she said, handing him a golf ball as he looked at her. "Practice with this."

"I'm not Fuzzy Zeller. What am I supposed to do with this?"

"For a smart kid, you ask dumb questions. Practice putting this in your hammerspace. If you start off with something too small, you'll lose it. Start off with something too big, and you won't be able to fit it in correctly. Just believe that it's back there, and you'll find it. 'Suspension of belief' - it is there, even if you think it's not there - it's always with you. Just remember - getting through the first layer - your doubts and your mind - to find it is not easy. But once you do, you'll be amazed at what you can do."

He was getting a headache - she was talking in riddles.

"You can't always believe what your eyes are telling you. Now don't get frustrated, and don't give up; if you do, you'll never find it. And it may take a little while, so keep that in mind." She looked at her watch. "Now, get this place cleaned up."

He started to grumble, but stopped at her look.

She handed him a ten and two fives again. "Your pay. I have to get to my next session – I'm always late with you." She patted his cheek and said, "I'll see you next week at eleven. Make sure to practice – I won't teach you anything else until you get that right. Oh, good job on the story – find something for next week, wont you? And be sure to be prepared this time."

With that, she walked slowly out of the section.

With his mind still reeling from his catastrophic stage debut and from finding out that a hammerspace was apparently nothing more than an invisible knapsack, he never noticed Wakko crawling out of the chair and coming over to him. Feeling a tug on his pants leg, he looked down to see younger brother looking at him with awestruck eyes.

"I saved you a cookie." He held it up to Yakko.

"Oh, thanks but no thanks sib, my stomach is still a little upset."

"Oh, ok." He ate the cookie, and then jumped up onto Yakko; he kicked him in his upset stomach, but the sentiment was appreciated. Giving him a hug, he exclaimed, "You were great!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah – I really like the part where you fell!"

With a groan, Yakko put him down and began to clean up the section as Wakko told him what a great comedian he was and Dot continued to snore in the chair.

XXXXXXXXXX

As always, the walk home had been interesting.

After cleaning up the section, which was a bigger mess than the previous week, Yakko had Wakko help him pick out a few more children's books to peruse for stories, and Yakko had picked up some additional reading material for himself. There was only so many times he could read "and they lived happily ever after" before he wanted to gouge his own eyes out.

They had then stopped at the store to pick up some food supplies. Yakko still had his change from the previous week, plus the additional twenty he made today. In all he had $25.08 – he felt rich.

As he mused over what Goose had discussed, he answered more of Wakko's questions, the toppers being "why a duck" and "what he planned on doing next week".

Not wanting to discuss water fowl or think about next week, he instead continued his make-shift math lessons with Wakko, who this week seemed determined to answer every question with '42'. Yakko was sure there was some deep thought of Wakko's behind it – between 'No' and '42' he was slowly trying to drive him crazy.

Bread, jelly, the inevitable eggs, cheese, milk, pancake mix; he decided to jazz up their lunch hours by buying a package of cheap bologna and another one of ham.

Then Wakko was able to talk him into buying him another soda. Unfortunately on the way out, Yakko could not find any apple juice, and it was with great trepidation that he slid the money in the machine, fingers trembling at the mere thought of what it would do this week. This time he did it on his terms; he told Wakko he would buy Ginger Ale, and he would share it with him. Ginger Ale was supposed to help a queasy stomach, and he figured by sharing it with him, it would be half the amount of sugar being pumped into his body. Wakko was surprisingly agreeable to this.

It helped, a little. This week, spectators in the street were treated to a slightly less hyper Wakko, who burped "Hello I Must Be Going" for their listening enjoyment. The only thing that cheesed Yakko off about the whole thing was the fact that Wakko burped it better than he sang it earlier.

What soda was not pumped into their bodies was running down the front of Yakko's shirt from where Dot grabbed the can, spilling it onto him, and startling them all with a new word – 'Yakky Goosey'.

On a positive note, all but two eggs made it home safely this week, and he still had $8.93 in change.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko stretched out on the couch, trying to adjust the lumps in the cushion with his hands so that they were not jamming him in the small of his back. Propping his head up on the loose armrest, he began to read 'Secrets of the Cartoon Stars' and tried to recover from the library fiasco.

On one hand, looking back on it several hours later, he conceded that Goose may be right; maybe it wasn't that bad. On the other hand, he remembered the odd little flip-flop that his stomach had been doing, and wasn't sure that he wanted to go through with it again. All those eyes watching him; people talking...

He had never had any big dreams or desires to be a toon star. Too many risks; look at his parents. While he did have some doubts about how famous either of his parents could have potentially become, it was a good example. Mom had gambled and lost when she came to Hollywood; his father's lack of self control had destroyed him.

Oh well, maybe this new employment his mother had been raving about would be some sort of consolation for them. He wondered if any of the money they actually made would make it back to the house to help their children. Yakko knew his twenty dollars a week was not really that much money at all; if anything ever happened…

He debated on trying to practice locating his hammerspace. Wakko and Dot would be asleep for a couple of hours yet, along with his parents. Usually when he wanted free time, nap time was the only opportunity for it. Course he could always do it later after he put the sibs down for bed, but by then he knew he was going to be exhausted. He had a feeling he would need concentration for this.

Feeling silly, he stood and fished the golf ball out of his pocket. He looked at it; standard golf ball – white, round, tons of dimples. He rolled it in between his fingers, a trick he taught himself with a coin a few months back while watching his father. Luckily, his father had not noticed him following his movements. Watching the ball move between his fingers, he thought about what Goose had said.

_"'Suspension of belief' - it is there, even if you think it's not there - it's always with you."_

Yakko shook his head. For something he had really wanted to learn more about, he was not being too proactive about doing anything. With a sigh, he thought about it, reached around to the small of his back, and let the ball go. Hearing it fall to the ground, he gave another sigh. He had a lot of work to do.

He tried again, then again. After the seventh time, gave a frustrated sigh and flopped back down on the couch.

"It's easier to do if you stop concentrating on it so much – you look like you're about to sick-up on the rug."

Yakko's eyes widened and peeked over the edge of the couch. His father was standing in the hallway watching him, performing a flourish with a pack of cards. What really was most surprising to Yakko was that his father was the first up, and appeared to be at-least halfway sober.

His heart really could not take any more shocks today.

"Hi Dad."

"Finally stopped reading all those books and started trying it, huh?"

"Um, yeah, something like that."

"I want to talk to you," Slacko said, walking slowly to the couch. His father was wearing the same black suit as this morning, with a purple shirt and black tie. Yakko dared hardly say it, but when he was reasonably sober and dressed halfway decently, his father could be a rather sharp looking toon.

Hoping that 'I want to talk to you' was not slang for 'I have not bounced your head off a wall recently, let's rectify that now', Yakko watched him sit down. He had already scooted to the other end of the couch. Better not to be in arms reach until he knew what the talk was about.

"Your Mom tell you what we are doing?"

"At Whiplash's place? Yeah, yeah, she told me."

Slacko sighed. "I'm not nuts about it - I don't particularly like Whiplash's joint. It's to hot there - cops always around that place. I don't like lowering myself playing at his place, but the money's decent. Plus, there's always a game going on. Can probably make a ton there."

Yakko rolled his eyes, which Slacko did not catch. Between their drinking and Dad's gambling, his question about how much money, if any, would be put back into the Warner household just got answered. Yakko hoped with them working and staying at a casino multiple nights they would still be able to get the rent paid – course they had been late before and always got it paid eventually, but one of these days, the landlord was going to get pissed and kick them all out into the street.

He watched as his father continued to perform different shuffles and flourishes, able to name them all after watching him for years; cascade, dovetail, waterfall, faro...

"We'll be leaving in a few minutes. We just came home to check on the food supply, though it looks like you got that pretty well covered. Your Mom talked to you about staying with your brother and sister?"

"I do every other time; why would this time be any different?" Yakko said, then immediately regretted it; he shrank back into the armrest, closed his eyes and braced – that was asking for a smack across the face.

After several seconds, nothing happened, and he opened his eyes, a bit warily. Maybe his father only liked to hit him when his eyes were open.

Slacko was regarding him with a calculating look. He then turned back to his cards, performing a rather impressive fan on the table, then snapping them back up as Yakko watched.

"Where you been getting money for all the extra food? Don't like the stuff I buy you now? You taken up stealing?"

Looking up from the intricate shuffling, Yakko replied, "The stuff you buy is fine. And no, I got a job."

Slacko smirked. "A job."

Yakko nodded. He regretted telling him – he hoped his parents would not try to take his pay for their liquid fund.

"Well, well, aren't the Warners a hardworking family? And tell me, who was desperate enough to hire you for a job?"

Nothing like a bit of esteem boosting from your father to lift your spirits.

"I'm a reading assistant at the library."

"A reading assistant. That's the best you could do? You sit around and read to kids?" Slacko glared at him. "What about your brother and sister - what do you do with those two dopes while your doing this?"

Yakko bristled. They had some serious arguments in the past about this - his father name calling on them, and Yakko defending. Yakko most often lost if it became physical. In the last six months though, his father had mostly ignored his two youngest children, which suited Yakko fine.

"They're not dopes. They are both extremely intelligent you know. "

"Yeah, and I'm the May Queen. Year old and what's her name hasn't said a word."

"Dot," he answered, stressing her name, "can speak six words now, and she's not quite a year old yet."

"La de freaking da. It's a marvel. What about the other one? He's to dopy to amount to much."

Yakko felt like attacking but stifled the feeling. Getting his ass kicked was not going to do anyone any good. At the very least, he was not insulting Wakko while he was in the same room. Last time he told Wakko he was a stupid kid, it had taken Yakko almost two hours to get him to calm down, and the fat lip Yakko got for defending him had made it difficult to talk for several days.

"Wakko is intelligent as well; did you know that he -."

"Yeah, sure kid, regular Von Drake that one. The only one I have any hopes for is you, and even then, I'm not expecting much." Slacko smirked at Yakko's indignant look, and then said, "So, I'm asking again, what do you do? You sit and read to kids?"

"I wear a du- uh, _goose_ costume, help the storyteller out; you know, entertaining the kids, singing some -"

Slacko laughed. "What do you know about entertaining?"

"Not much actually." Yakko answered, hoping he did not sound like too much of a wise ass. If he did, it went unnoticed by Slacko.

"So, how did you entertain them?"

"I tried singing."

"Tried?"

Yakko really did not feel like having this conversation, especially with him. This was rapidly going to become one of the "my children are failures" speeches. But if he didn't answer, he was going to anger his father, and he was pinned in where he was at. His father sitting on the end of the couch was blocking his path to the bedroom, and while he could probably reach the front door and be out, he was not going to risk abandoning Wakko and Dot.

"I wasn't very good," Yakko muttered, hating to admit it to him.

Slacko shrugged. "Figures. See your Mom about it. I'm not much on singing. Now, you want piano, ah, I'm great at that. Every Warner has always played some instrument." Yakko noticed his father cut his eyes to him. "You look through that book I gave you?"

"Yes, most of it. Interesting stuff."

"You got a whole line of entertainers in you - you should be able to entertain a bunch of rug-rats. Look."

Slacko held out the deck of cards. Curious, Yakko looked at them.

"Take 'em stupid. I haven't got all day."

Hesitantly, Yakko took the cards. Meanwhile, Slacko pulled another pack from his pocket.

"Watch." Slacko stood up and began to do a waterfall. "Follow my lead. Stand beside me dumbass, you're going to be doing it with the same hand as me. This is a simple trick - even you could do this. The cards are just falling from one hand to another."

Slacko watched as Yakko dropped cards on the floor. Yakko bent quickly to gather them up as his father gave an annoyed sigh.

"No, no, no! Don't release them one at a time! It gets a choppy look and you start dropping them! Try again - apply pressure here." He said, holding the cards in a crescent formation in his hand. Yakko, more nervous now then he had been at the library, did as he was directed.

"My father taught me this. The cards need to be released one at a time. As you're doing it, keep slowly raising your right hand - it gives that nice ribbon effect - has everyone going ohhhhhhh and awwwwwwww."

Yakko tried again, this time, he managed to not drop as many cards. Slacko looked at them on the floor.

"Well, maybe keep practicing. Keep the deck; I got more."

Yakko, on his hands and knees nodded, was wondering why his father was trying to teach him card tricks. Yakko looked up to see Ophelia walking into the living room; only slightly tipsy but looking very ritzy, wearing the same red gown as this morning.

"By the way, when you're back there rooting around for your hammerspace, remember that it's cold back there."

"What?" Yakko looked at him – was his father trying to help him?

Slacko shrugged, putting the cards back in his pocket and accepting one of the cigarettes offered to him by Ophelia. "It's always cool in the hammerspace – when you finally tear through that last bit of reality that is holding you back, and you stick you hand in it the first time, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's chilly in there. Who knows why? That's if you are able to even access it. I might almost be willing to admit you're my kid if you manage to do that."

With this parting shot, Slacko walked out the door, whistling.

Ophelia came over on unsteady feet to kiss Yakko on the head.

"Don't stay up too late."

"Yeah, sure Mom. Be careful."

Ophelia gave him a smile and followed her husband out the door, singing in the hallway, despite the several voices calling out very rude things, asking her to stop.

Yakko sat on the couch for several minutes after they left, stunned. His parents were employed. He was employed. His father was almost tolerable for several minutes. He had made an absolute ass out of himself in front of dozens of people, and planned on going back to do it again next week. Wakko behaved himself, mostly, on the way home.

_That's it,_ he thought. _The world is ending. Pretty soon the center of the universe is going to fall out and we will all be sucked into a black void._

XXXXXXXXXX

Dot woke up from her nap first; Yakko heard the 'Yakky Yakky' call. Picking her up from the bed, he grimaced slightly – Dot had drooled on Wakko's bunny – he hoped it dried before his brother woke up and started screaming about it.

He carried her into the living room and set her in the middle of the floor, picking up the ashtray as he went. The last time he forgot, she ended up getting covered in ashes and Wakko had tried to eat the butts.

Thinking she would be OK for a minute, he went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. The stress of dealing with his father had made him thirsty.

Coming back into the living room, he saw that Dot had crawled over to the couch. He leaned against the door jam and watched her as she sat back on her rear and looked at the couch, the tip of her tail twitching. He took a sip of the water as she leaned forward, grasped the cushion, and started to pull herself up.

Doing a nice spit take, Yakko dropped the glass and ran over – she was trying to stand! Hovering behind her in case she lost her grip, he watched grinning and giving her encouraging words as she slowly but with deliberate grasps, pulled herself up.

Pleased, he laughed and started clapping for her as she laughed and babbled some more, gripping the cushion and trying to bounce up and down – her legs weren't quite that sturdy yet, and so she just basically was only bending her knees, but no doubt about it, she was happy.

As was he, and extremely relieved - he had been slightly worried – Wakko had begun standing and walking almost a month before he talked. When Dot had started talking before she stood...He shook his head – it didn't matter anymore – she was standing!

"You did it Dottie!" He picked her up and tossed her gently into the air, catching her as she laughed with pleasure. "Pretty soon you'll be running around with Wakko and me! What do you think about that?"

"Yakky Cutie Goosey!"

"Ehhhhhhhhhh – close enough!" Cuddling her, he leaned his head so his nose was touching hers. She giggled and reached for him, poking him in the eye.

Blinking back the tears that formed upon her fingers entry to his socket, he had an idea. It had worked with Wakko...

He set her on the floor. Taking her hands he very carefully pulled her into a standing position and making sure that she was still comfortable, slowly took a step backwards. To his delight, she very slowly toddled toward him, a bit unsteady, but she definitely had the idea.

He didn't expect her to dance 'The Charleston' anytime soon, but she was definitely on her way.

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to Dane for helping me with the poem, and to _DancesWithCorpses _for once again using her skills to go through the spelling and make this readable.

Just so no one is confused - the year is 1988. My lovely beta pointed out I made a mistake on the birth years earlier - that has all been corrected now in the previous chapters.

Enjoy.

_Chapter 4 – Confidence_

"Happy Birthday Dot!"

"Yakky Biffday!"

"No, Dottie's Biffday."

"Appy Biffday!"

Yakko laughed. "Close enough."

He began to cut the cake, a little pink round one he picked up at the store yesterday.

Through a bit of careful money management with his pay, and lots of digging through the bargain bin, he was able to not only buy a cake for her birthday, but get Dot a few small presents too.

Sure, the cake was going out of date, and the frosting was already starting to get a crusty feel to it, but it _was _a birthday cake. She was the first of the three of them to have an actual birthday celebration.

Yakko was already planning on doing something similar for Wakko's birthday next month. That, of course, depended mostly on if either of them survived until December 3rd.

Wakko was standing in the chair beside Yakko, watching the proceedings with wide eyes, clutching his bunny to his chest. Yakko gave him a look, and Wakko sat back down correctly.

Yakko pulled three slices off the cake and put them on the plates, setting them in front of each of them.

"Don't touch the knife Wakko," he said, seeing Wakko reaching for it out of the corner of his eye. "You're gonna get cut. Sit down and eat your cake – see – Dot's eating hers."

Dot was attempting to eat her cake, and appeared to be doing a reasonable job; most of it was ending up in her mouth, though Yakko had not intended for her to eat the cake as a finger food. Yakko wiped her pink-frosted nose, and she giggled. Wiping her fingers, also coated in pink frosting, he used a fork to give her a mouthful, which she happily accepted

Yakko turned to check on his brother. "Wakko, use your fork; you look like a barbarian," he said, watching Wakko use his hands to pick up his cake.

"This is quicker."

Yakko rolled his eyes and turned back to Dot, who, at only a year old, was already less of a messy eater than her brother. It didn't really matter; they all needed baths anyway, but he had hoped to not have to do laundry as well.

Dot made a grab for the fork in his hand, complete with a bite of cake, and he lost his grip on it, knocking it onto her outfit and sending it clattering onto the floor. As Yakko bent down to pick the fork off the floor, he heard her say, "Whoopsie baby."

"It's Ok Dot," he said, tossing the fork in the sink and pulling out a new one. "We got more."

"When do we give Dottie her presents?"

Yakko, still facing his sister, said, "After we finish the cake."

"Oh. I'm done."

Yakko looked at Wakko's plate, then at Wakko. "I figured you would be - plus you got it all over you now. Wipe your hands," he said, handing Wakko a towel. "You look like you played with it more than ate it."

He watched Wakko attempt to wipe his hands, then leaned over to help him get it off his face and ears.

Turning back to his sister, he heard a little clinking sound, and turned back to his younger brother. Wakko was chewing on the plate. With an annoyed sigh, he took it out of his hands.

"We don't eat the plates Wakko." Why did he want to eat everything? The Tasmanian Devil didn't have a stomach like this kid.

"Can I watch TV now?"

"No. I told you no TV tonight. After that little stunt you pulled earlier, be thankful you're still not sitting in the corner."

"Said I was sorry," Wakko mumbled. "Besides, you said it helped you."

"Regardless, no TV tonight. If you manage not to drive me nuts the rest of the night, you can watch tomorrow."

"Not fair."

"Trust me, life's not fair."

"Will you show me how to do it?"

"When you're older."

"How old?"

"When you get your gloves."

"But that'll take forever!" Wakko exclaimed.

Yakko started laughing. "Yeah, slightly over a year - it's not exactly an eon you know."

Despite the rotten way the weekend had started out, it had turned out to be a very good one. After all of Yakko's hard work over the last month, he could consider himself successful at not one, but two of his latest goals he had set for himself, and he could barely push down the self-satisfied feelings he had at the moment.

He really didn't have anyone to share the success with; Wakko was trying his best to understand, but he was just too little to really comprehend what had happened. Dot was thankfully in a much better mood, probably because Yakko's mood had improved.

It had been a rough few weeks, he thought, wiping frosting off Dot's hands and the front of her little pink dress. He had been wondering what the new feeling he was starting to experience was, and he was finally able to pinpoint what this emotion was.

Confidence.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko was starting to hate golf balls.

Up until this week, he had never had anything against them per say; he found it difficult to really marshal up feelings about them one way or another. A golf ball was simply a small white thing old men wearing plaid pants with white belts played with while riding around in slow carts.

Now though, he detested them.

He would be willing to take back his feelings of hate, of course, if the ball would cooperate and go into his hammerspace. Hell, he would be willing to kiss the ball if it would do that.

With a sigh, he tried again, and heard the familiar 'thud' as the ball hit the floor again.

More irritated than he had ever been, he muttered a curse and put the ball back in his pocket before he threw it. With his luck, he'd throw it through the TV, and there'd never be a chance of replacing that.

He flopped back down on the couch, wondering what time it was, and wished that he had been smart enough to move the clock from the bedroom to the living room. He was not about to go into the bedroom to get it now. After the half hour struggle to get Wakko to lay down for his nap, he'd be damned if he went anywhere near that room. Once a day was more than enough of that. He was definitely going to have to figure out how to remove the word 'no' from his brother's vocabulary.

Luckily Dot was a lot more agreeable when it came to taking her nap. Yakko had been working with her the last two days, holding her hands as he encouraged her to take steps, or hovering behind her when she pulled herself up on the couch, just in case she fell. But after all the playing and practicing she was so exhausted she was more than willing for Yakko to pick her up and put her in her crib for a nap.

Yakko felt something sticking him in his leg, and he reached into his pocket; it was the pack of playing cards. Something else to give him a headache.

He had been practicing the flourish his father had taught him; the waterfall. He hated to give the devil any due, but he had to admit his father knew his way around a deck of cards. He was more curious about why his father was all of a sudden wanting to share his knowledge with his oldest.

Yakko shrugged and stood back up; if he was not going to continue to attempt to access his hammerspace, he might as well practice the waterfall. His parents could be home any minute, but than again, they should have been home last night. Who knew when they would show up. Maybe if he showed some proficiency in doing the flourish, his father wouldn't use his head as a punching bag for not perfecting it.

He did as his father had said; holding the cards in a crescent formation in his right hand. Slowly releasing the cards and raising his right hand, he watched as most of the cards fell into his left hand, only dropping four onto the floor. Well, it was an improvement over yesterday anyway. Picking up the dropped cards, he performed the waterfall again. If nothing else, it was slightly less stressful than finding his hammerspace.

"Whatcha doing?"

Yakko dropped all the cards, surprised, as a little voice complete with Scouse accent broke his concentration. He turned to see Wakko standing in the hallway, holding his bunny and looking at him.

"Playing fifty-two card pickup."

"I don't know that game…can I play?"

"No. You're supposed to be taking your nap."

"I'm not tired."

With that statement, Wakko walked into the living room to stand beside his brother.

Wakko pointed to the floor. "You dropped your cards."

"Thank you Mr. Obvious."

"Huh?" Wakko looked at him, confused.

"Never mind. You're going back to bed."

"No."

_Wonderful_. "Yes you are; you get cranky when you don't get a nap."

"I don't want a nap - I want to play pick up the cards."

"Fine, fine; pick them up." He didn't feel like bending over yet again to get them. Let Wakko pick them up; maybe it would tire him out. Yakko flopped back onto the couch.

Wakko put his bunny on the couch, tucking him in beside Yakko. "Watch him?"

"What's he going to do?"

"Huh?"

Yakko sighed. "Nothing." He mentally added 'huh' to the list of things to remove from Wakko's vocabulary.

He watched with a slightly amused expression as Wakko started crawling around on his hands and knees picking up cards. He would pick up one, look at it and hand it to Yakko.

After what seemed like an eternity, he had picked them all up, and he crawled up beside Yakko on the couch.

"Now what?"

"Now you go back for your nap."

"No."

"We have got to teach you some new words."

"No."

Yakko raised an eyebrow at him. Wakko saw it and continued.

"Don't want to nap - want to stay with you." He crawled into Yakko's lap and gave him a beseeching look. "Will you teach me your card trick?"

"It's not a card trick; it's a flourish."

"What's that?"

"A technique for gamblers and magicians to show off their skill and ability with playing cards."

"Oh. Will you teach me your card trick?"

"It's not a - oh never mind. And no; I'm not very good at it myself. I don't think I could teach -"

"Please?"

Yakko looked down and groaned at Wakko's expression. He had on his best 'please-teach-me-I-want-to-be-like-you-face'; big dark eyes widened and a hopeful look on his face. Where did he learn to do that - Yakko was a sucker for it each time, and he sighed, knowing he would not be getting Wakko back to bed this afternoon.

"OK, OK. Jeeze, you win. But you can't learn this 'card trick' yet - you need to learn to shuffle first."

He picked up the now triumphantly smiling Wakko and carried him into the kitchen, setting him in his chair. Yakko sat in the chair beside him. Wakko stood up in the chair and Yakko frowned at him.

"Sit down correctly, Wakko."

Wakko did, and Yakko watched as Wakko's head disappeared underneath the table. He forgot to put the phone books back in his seat. He had taken them out earlier after breakfast - Wakko had dropped his breakfast all over himself and Yakko had needed to clean the chair.

Looking around, he spied them on the floor where he dumped. He picked them up and, lifting Wakko up, threw them back on the seat, plopping Wakko on top of them. Yakko never really figured that out - only two tenants in the entire building had phones - no one else could afford them. Yet, the phone company delivered phone books to every apartment. Yakko shrugged - if nothing else, they made good booster seats.

Wakko sat looking at Yakko expectantly. Yakko held the deck in his hands, wondering why he was wasting his time. Not to mention teaching a toddler card tricks - bad enough his father was corrupting him; did he really need to do it to his baby brother?

Hoping he was not making a mistake, he showed Wakko the deck.

"OK Wakko. This is called a riffle shuffle - it's a basic way to shuffle a deck of cards."

Wakko looked. "It's not doing anything."

"I haven't shown you yet."

"Oh."

Giving his brother a withering look, Yakko held the deck by its side, the long edges resting on the table.

"OK, watch me. No, don't reach for them," he said, stopping Wakko's hand. "Just watch. I'll let you try in a minute, OK?" He waited for Wakko's nod. "Now, see how I'm holding them - in my hand?" Deciding to make this a rather unorthodox tutoring session, he asked him, "What hand am I holding them in?"

Wakko looked at him, thought for a second, then looked down at his own hands. "Right."

"Good job." Yakko split the deck in half. "See what I just did? You need to hold half the deck in each hand. Now, you need to get the cards even." He put the short edges of the deck on the table and banged them as Wakko watched, fascinated, clutching his bunny to his chest.

Yakko talked as he did the maneuvers. "See how my thumbs are facing in? Put them on the corners of the cards, then start releasing them - see how they interleaf -one on top of the other?"

Wakko smiled and nodded. "Can I try?"

"Sure sib, but you need to be careful - you can bend the cards if your not." _Jeeze, please don't bend the cards_, he thought. He could see his father if the cards got bent - a damaged deck of cards would be akin to murder with him.

Wakko unhanded his bunny and took the cards. Yakko watched as he attempted to shuffle the cards, and they went spilling all over the table, some falling on the floor.

"Shit."

Yakko's jaw dropped and he stared at his brother, aghast. "Wakko Warner, what did you just say?"

Wakko looked at him, puzzled. "Shit. Didn't you hear me? I'm right beside you."

"Yes I heard you!"

"Then why'd ya ask?"

"We don't ever say that word."

"Do to…Daddy does; Mummy too. You said it; I heard you."

Damn, he had him there - he had muttered it earlier when he had been practicing and had gotten too frustrated; he wondered how long Wakko had been watching him. Dad did say it often…Well, he had wondered how long it would be before all of them started to pick up some of dad's more colorful adjectives. And that one was minor compared to some of the things that came out of Dad's mouth.

"I shouldn't have said it. You shouldn't either."

"Why? You do."

"Because I said so."

Muttering something that Yakko didn't catch, Wakko crossed his arm and sat back in the chair, pouting and looking at the floor.

_Why did he have to be so stubborn?_

"Just don't say it again - look at me." Waiting until Wakko was looking directly at him, he said, "That's a really bad word - do you understand?" Getting Wakko's nod, he continued. "People hear you say that, it looks bad - for you and for me; it may get people looking at us too much - we don't want that. You want people thinking I'm a bad big brother?"

Wakko shook his head and looked like he was about to cry. Yakko inwardly cringed - he had not intended to upset him. The newest addition to Wakko's vocabulary had just surprised him.

Why did this have to be so hard?

Feeling another flash of irritation, this time at his father and his less than polite choice of words around his children, Yakko quickly looked for something to distract Wakko before he started crying.

Remembering the whole reason they were in the kitchen during naptime to begin with, Yakko picked up the cards off the floor. "Here, want to try again?"

"Ok." Wakko took the proffered deck, and tried to do the riffle shuffle again as Yakko talked him through the steps. Wakko still kept dropping the cards, but it seemed to be entertaining him. Yakko picked up a card - the four of clubs - and showed it to Wakko.

"What's this?"

"A card."

Yakko rolled his eyes. "What's the number on the card?"

Wakko studied it for a second. "A four!"

"Good job sib!"

"What's that funny shape next to it?"

"It's called a club."

"What's it for?"

"For different card games - scoring and such."

"Who's that?" Yakko looked to see Wakko holding up another card.

"That's the Queen of Spades - it's called a 'face card'. Because there's a face on it - get it?"

Wakko nodded, and Yakko wondered how much of this he was understanding. He was hoping not too much - last thing he wanted was to see Wakko grow up to be a gambler like his father.

Figuring that Wakko should be able to count before he worried about what points go with what suit, Yakko picked up another card - the two of hearts - and showed it to him.

"What's this number?"

"A two! With a heart!"

Yakko decided to continue the impromptu math lesson. Taking three cards and placing them face down on the table, he asked Wakko how many were there. After a few seconds of counting, putting one tiny finger on each card as he counted out loud, Wakko came up with the correct number, and Yakko added two more cards.

Using playing cards was probably not an approved method of teaching math to his little sibling, but it was working. When they went to the grocery store this weekend, he would have Wakko start helping more on counting and adding up the purchases. He probably needed to start working on the reading again; he had neglected doing that the last couple of days, and start teaching him to write too…

They continued to go over cards, Yakko making up math games for a delighted Wakko until they heard 'Yakky! Yakky! Waks! Yakky Goosey! Up! Up!'

'Up' was the newest addition to Dot's vocabulary, and decidedly less shocking than Wakko's. It was also the newest thing to yell, especially when she was done with her nap he noticed. Yakko scooped the cards up and put them back in his pocket and stood, not catching Wakko's look. He went down the darkened hallway to take his sister out of the crib, Wakko following him, dragging his feet down the hall.

Unlatching the rails, Yakko lifted the babbling baby out of the crib and carried her into the living room. Placing her on the floor, he sat down about ten feet from her. She started crawling toward him as Wakko came back into the room and stood by the couch.

"I want to play more cards."

Yakko looked at his brother. "We've played cards half the afternoon. It's time to do something else." Yakko smiled down at his sister; Dot had reached him in record time. She sat back on her rear and smiled up at him, then started laughing, the tip of her tail moving in time to her giggles.

"I don't want to do something else; I want to play with cards!"

_There's that stubborn thing again_, Yakko thought. Hoping if he ignored him he could avoid another temper tantrum, Yakko bent down, resting his elbows on his knees so he was face to face with Dot. They both grinned at each other. Suddenly she reached up and grabbed his left ear. With a tug that was surprisingly strong for something so tiny, she began to use it to pull herself up to a standing position.

Wincing and biting back several words not appropriate for the company he was in, he struggled to free his ear without knocking her over. It wasn't working; she had a pretty good grasp on it.

"Yakko!"

Fearing his ear would be yanked from his head, he tried to twist his head around to look at him. "Not now Wakko." He closed his eyes as Dot shrieked with glee in his ear.

"You always play with her!"

Oh what now? He knew he should have put his foot down and made him take a nap; now he was going to be fussy. "What do you mean I always play with her? I just played with you for what - an hour and a half?"

"But that was just because _she _was asleep. Now you won't play with me anymore."

Yakko had forgotten; toddler's didn't really have the concept of sharing down yet, whether it was with a toy or an older brother. "Come here Wakko."

"No."

There's that word again. "Come here Wakko, _now_."

Wakko slowly trudged over, and Yakko put his arm around him, Dot still dangling from his ear. "Look Wakko, neither one of you is better than the other - you're both my sibs, right?"

Wakko didn't respond, just looked at the floor, and Yakko was about to scream in frustration. Finally able to free his ear from Dot's Herculean grasp, he set her on her feet, watching her little white toes curl and uncurl in the carpet. Holding her hands with his left hand so she didn't fall, he used his right hand to turn Wakko's head toward him.

"You ignore me when she's around; you always do now." Wakko sniffed quietly.

Yakko quickly ran through the last few days in his mind; had he? He hadn't intended to…

"If I have, I didn't mean to. Hey, Dot's a baby, I have to watch her all the time. You're not a baby; I don't need to be with you all the time, right?"

That didn't work; if anything, that statement made things worse. Yakko watched as Wakko's eyes teared up and he started sniffing. Dot was getting ready to pull his glove off she was yanking so hard on his hand.

He hadn't meant to make Wakko feel left out. Dot required so much attention though, she was just learning to walk, and he remembered how much trouble Wakko got into when he started walking. Now Wakko wanted attention, and the only time he had to really give Wakko was when Dot was napping, and usually Wakko was at that time too…

How was he supposed to fix this; he didn't have any idea that Wakko was feeling neglected…he had not even realized he had been neglecting him. Explained why he was so whiney and clingy the last few days though.

_Why does this have to happen to me_, he thought. _I didn't ask for any of this responsibility! _

He was about to go into a mental whine, but quickly stopped himself. The situation was not going to change; he was the oldest, period. The odds of Mom and Dad stepping up and taking any responsibility were slim. They were supposed to be home last night from their "new employment", but where were they? Not home taking care of their children.

Both Wakko and Dot were his responsibility, not only their physical, but their mental wellbeing. Somehow he screwed up somewhere, and now he had a very depressed sibling on his hands. How could he have done that to his brother? Most times when he played with Dot, Wakko sat on the couch and watched; he rarely joined in…mostly because Yakko was afraid that he would inadvertently hurt himself or Dot. Maybe getting him a little more involved…

Thinking quick, he said, "Hey Wakko, I'm going to be helping Dot…ehhhhhhhhh…tell ya what - you help me now, and I'll read you another story later."

Wakko looked at him. "Doing what," he asked, wiping his eyes.

"Here." Moving Wakko closer to Dot, he said , "Take her hands. Go on, grab 'em."

Wakko hesitantly took both of Dot's hands in his, while Yakko stood and moved directly beside them. Wakko was pretty good on his feet now, but Yakko was not taking any chances of him accidentally letting go of her hands. Every now and then, Wakko caught a case of 'the klutzes'.

Wakko was standing still, holding Dot's hands and staring at her. Meanwhile, Dot was grinning and giggling at him, bouncing up and down while chanting 'Waks up'.

Looking at Wakko, Yakko said, "Take a step backwards, just a little one, and hold her hands OK?"

Wakko did, and looked somewhat pleased when Dot slowly followed, and Yakko stepped beside both of them, terrified that one or both would fall. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

Wakko, grinning, took another small step backwards, and laughed when Dot, still clinging to his hands continued to slowly follow on wobbly legs, still trying to dig her little toes into the thin carpet to get a grip.

Happy that he was able to avoid yet another family crisis, Yakko continued to stay beside them, arms outstretched beside both of them in case of a fall as Wakko slowly led their sister around the living room.

XXXXXXXXXX

"What the hell was that?"

Yakko dropped the cards in his hand and looked up to see his father entering the living room. Slacko and Ophelia had come in at about five in the morning, Mom drunk and singing a song about cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel.

They were a day late, but home none the less, and they had made slightly less noise than usual, though Mom still threw open the bedroom door to announce that they were home, waking Wakko and Dot. Yakko had managed to get Dot back to sleep, but Wakko refused, and was a royal pain until he finally put him down for his nap an hour early, mostly to get him out of his hair for a few hours.

While he was reading a story to Wakko, Mom had come out, yelled at them for being too loud, waking Dad who had yelled at all of them about being loud. That had gotten the Olsons' upstairs and the tenants next door yelling. Mom then went into the bathroom, got sick, and staggered back to bed.

By this time, Dot had woken up to all the noise, so Yakko had to calm her and Wakko down.

Every day was an adventure.

On the other hand, Wakko had decided that 'Little Red Riding Hood' was the chosen story of the week.

Mom and Dad had really surprised him actually; they had brought a new outfit for Dot - a little pink and purple dress. And they had bought a few more food supplies.

Yakko had to groan though; more eggs.

He was starting to feel about eggs like he felt about golf balls.

"Just practicing Dad."

"You still haven't gotten that down yet? I show you the easiest flourish in the world, and you screw that up?"

Yakko watched as his father sat on the couch, crossed his legs and lit a cigarette, pulling a pack out of his pinstriped pants. Yakko unconsciously took a step away from the couch. No sense remaining in the area until he could judge his mood. Like with Mom, it could change with the minute, though usually his father's was consistently bad.

"I didn't screw it up - I've only been trying it for a few days." The words were out before he could stop them. He needed to watch his mouth.

His father didn't seem to care; he simply snorted. "I was able to do that maneuver the first day I tried it."

_Good for you_, he thought. "Sorry Dad, just not good with my hands I guess."

"Hope you're not saying that in a couple of years," Slacko muttered.

Not understanding what his father meant by those words, and afraid to find out what he had meant, Yakko wondered if there was any way to escape the room without pissing his father off. He seemed like he was in a relatively good mood, but why tempt the fates?

"Ehhhhhh, - I'm going to go check on Wakko and Dot; they're taking their naps and- "

"Pick up the cards."

Yakko sighed and began to pick up the cards.

"Now, do it again, correctly."

Concentrating, Yakko again performed the maneuver. It was choppy, not the smooth fluid motion of his father, but he didn't drop any cards this time.

"That looked like shit. I figured at least one kid of mine would pick up some skill at this." He took a drag off his cigarette. "Do it again."

Yakko, inhaling through his nose in irritation, did it again, and another time when his father directed him to.

"Well, it does look better than it did Saturday. Not much, but some slight improvement."

Yakko almost staggered - did his father just give him a compliment? Unbelievable - he must have misheard.

"Give me that deck." Yakko handed him the deck, and his father examined them. "You musta been practicing or doing something with them - they're starting to get all bent up. Can't do a damn thing with em once they're bent." With a shrug, his father tossed them over his shoulder onto the floor.

Slacko reached into a pocket. "Here, take these." He handed Yakko two new decks of cards, still wrapped in shiny cellophane.

Wow, new cards and Dot got an outfit? Christmas had come early to the Warner household.

"Get rid of those other cards - they're worthless now." He crushed the cigarette out in the ashtray on the floor, and stood, walking into the kitchen, motioning Yakko to follow.

Grabbing the chair Wakko usually sat in, Slacko dumped the phone books out and spun it around so that he was straddling it. He pointed to the chair next to him, and Yakko sat down, wondering what he was going to do now. His father produced a flask from his pocket and took a long swallow.

"Watch this." Slacko took out another pack of cards while Yakko wondered exactly how many he had in there. "Look at this move - pretty striking this one."

Slacko ripped the cellophane off with his teeth and spit it onto the floor. "This one is called a ribbon spread. Really impresses people, makes em think you know what you're doing. Great opening to a trick."

Tossing the packaging over his shoulder, he spread the cards out on the table, and, with one flip, sent them cascading back on each other and back into his hand. Yakko had to admit, it was pretty impressive.

"All right, hold the cards like this," Slacko instructed, holding the deck in his left hand, showing his second and third fingers on the top short side of the deck, and his thumb on the back short side, facing him. "Spread from left to right, use your first finger to release only one card at a time. Make sure you spread all the cards even, or you're going to screw it up and look like a jackass. Then, you just use the last card to scoop them up, and look," he exclaimed. "The cards cascade back; just sweep them up in your hand."

_Um, yeah,_ Yakko thought, then looked at his father. Why was he showing him this?

"What are you staring at me for? Open your pack of cards, stupid."

Yakko fumbled in his pocket and pulled out one of the decks, opening it and putting the cellophane in his pocket. Feeling uncomfortable with his father's eyes on him, he spread the cards out on the table as his father had demonstrated, with nowhere near the skill and dexterity he had displayed. Huffing with frustration, he ended up scattering playing cards across the table.

"Jeeze, that was a mess," Slacko muttered, taking another hit off his flask. "You can't even do a simple table ribbon. Some great entertainer you're turning out to be."

Yakko rolled his eyes, and saw his father raise his hand. He ducked back to avoid it, and his father smirked, more amused than angered.

"Don't roll your eyes. Next time you do, it'll be because I'm choking you unconscious."

"Yeah, sorry Dad." _Jerk_.

"You're supposed to be an entertainer now; and you can't do a simple card trick." He took another drink. "How's that going?"

"I don't go back until Saturday."

"And you're probably nervous as shit; don't be. You get nervous, you lose focus. You lose focus, and you lose the audience. How about your hammerspace - find that yet?"

Yakko shook his head as his father rolled his eyes.

"Well, keep working at it; you might find it. Don't concentrate on it so much like you were before - any kid of mine should be able to access it; well, you anyway. I have doubts about the other two."

Yakko shot a glare at his father. Why did he do this - now he would have to defend them and probably get a pop in the mouth for his efforts. "They're babies! Bet you didn't know Wakko is turning out to be good at numbers, and Dot is picking up words -"

Slacko stood up and smirked at his oldest, cutting him off. "Practice that trick. Maybe at some point I can get you trained enough that _you _won't embarrass the family name."

Slacko went to leave the kitchen, and saw Wakko standing near the door, clutching his bunny and watching them, tongue peeking out of the side of his mouth.

"Speaking of embarrassing the family name…" With a snort, he walked out of the kitchen and through the living room, slamming the front door.

Yakko left the cards where they were and went to his brother, who was standing by the door looking from the front door to Yakko with a sad, confused expression on his face.

Picking him up, Yakko hugged him to his chest, feeling Wakko's tears soaking into his neck.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko's second and third week of employment were nothing short of a nightmare. He still stuttered or had long periods of silence while up in front of the children. While Grandmother SweetStrudel still gave him some encouragement in her sharp-tongued way, Yakko had a feeling that even she was starting to admit that perhaps this was a mistake.

In one way, he felt awful about it. No matter how much he dreaded going, or felt humiliated in the stupid goose costume, he had sort of wanted to succeed, especially after the first disastrous week.

He wanted to prove he could do it; Goose was the only one who had shown in interest in teaching him anything, and while the old biddy got on his nerves, he actually had some amount of respect for her. She also was true to her word; since he had not accessed his hammerspace, she had yet to talk to him about anything else regarding Toon Theory. He continued to read about it, but he had questions, and she said she would be willing to answer them. As soon as he found his hammerspace.

In some small way, he wanted to prove to his father he could do it. For all his snide comments, his father was going out of his way to teach him card and slight of hand tricks, though for the life of him he still had not figured out why. He had to admit to himself though; he was getting pretty good at them. He didn't have the same proficiency as his father of course, but he assumed that would come with time.

He wanted to justify his little brother's faith in him; every time he was up in front of the crowd, Wakko watched him with awe-struck eyes. As wild as he was out of the story session, Wakko seemed to take his job as Dot's official babysitter during Yakko's time looking like an idiot seriously, keeping her and himself quiet and still during the two hour session, for which Yakko was thankful. Of course, stuffing him full of cookies didn't hurt.

The money was a gift; several times during the past several weeks, if Yakko had not had his meager pay, they might have gone hungry. Mom and Dad were not coming home like Mom had said they would. Two days was better than nothing, and when they came home, at least they brought food to supplement what Yakko had purchased. One week they had not come home at all, sparking a little panic in Yakko. They weren't much, but they were all the Warner children had.

On the other side of things, he almost wished that Grandmother SweetStrudel would tell him that this was not working out and that he should hand in his feathers and clear out. This was entirely too hard and nerve-racking, and he had enough going on outside the library to worry about what was happening in it.

On their way back to the library again, Yakko was again wondering what to do. It would be so easy to just turn around, go back to the apartment, and climb back into bed and forget this. He would not even have to listen to her give her "you can do it you just need a kick in the ass" speech. After a month of trying, not only had he not accessed his hammer space, he could not even entertain a group of small children for five minutes, nor stand up to one heckler. Yakko had to wonder about him; what sort of person came to a story session at a library one day a week to pester a child in a goose costume? Someone needed to find a better hobby.

He had already decided, mentally, that if things did not improve today, this would be his last week as 'Puddles'. This simply was not for him.

With all these thoughts swirling around in his head, which was still pounding after the kitchen incident this morning, he tried to ignore Dot's screaming, which was ringing in his ear since she was leaned over shrieking right in it, and shifted her to his other arm.

Cutting his eyes down, he noticed Wakko was not on his left side like he should have been. He didn't even have to look to see where he wandered.

Closing his eyes and inhaling, he said, "Wakko, get near that street one more time…"

Wakko scurried back to Yakko's left side before he could finish the sentence.

Tired, cranky, sore and nervous, Yakko was not in the mood to deal with his rambunctious brother this morning. "What did I say before?"

"Not to leave your side."

"Right. You're in enough trouble already; don't make it worse."

Wakko mumbled "OK" as Yakko rolled his eyes. This was not going to be a good day, he could already tell. Yakko adjusted Dot higher on his right hip, gritted his teeth against her scream, ducked his head back to avoid her flying hand, and moved the books under his left arm.

Yakko's head was pounding and his back was aching. Both his sibs were acting up. He was angry and frustrated; his stomach was doing the strange little flip-flop motion it always did when he headed to the library. They were running late. That was partly his fault; unable to sleep last night, mostly due to nerves, he had finally fallen into an exhausted slumber in the very early hours of the morning.

The morning proceeded to go downhill from there.

Wakko had woken up and crawled over Yakko carefully enough that for the first time he had not woken him up. Deciding that he was hungry, he made the monumental decision that he was not going to wake his older brother for reasons that Yakko had yet to comprehend. Wakko had then went into the kitchen to make breakfast, something that Yakko had discussed at length with him why he should not do.

Yakko had woken up, noticed his missing brother, and still groggy, quickly got out of the bed without disturbing Dot and left the bedroom, hoping to find his sibling doing something safe, and cursing himself for not waking up when Wakko did.

Hearing a noise coming from the kitchen, he ran the short distance there, flicking on the lights and finding Wakko standing on his toes on a chair pushed up against the stove.

Stretching himself over the stove to reach the dials to turn the gas on, he turned around to look at Yakko as the lights came on. Yakko's eyes widened as Wakko's fingers barely reached the dial and turned it to the 'on' position.

Yakko heard the hissing of the gas traveling thru the lines…

With a burst of speed he didn't even know he had in him, Yakko yelped and snatched Wakko off the chair and out of harm's way just as the flames came out of the burner, directly where Wakko had been leaning.

Heart racing and still holding Wakko, Yakko reached over to turn the burner off, not noticing the eggs that Wakko had broken on the floor. He stepped away from the stove and slipped in the puddle, landing on his back and knocking his head on the table, but able to cradle Wakko with his body.

To top that off, the box of pancake mix on the table fell on his head, breaking open and coating him in powder. Leaning up on his elbows, he glared at Wakko, who was now sitting on his lap and whimpering.

His life had turned into a Laurel and Hardy short.

Dazed, relieved, furious, and feeling eggs dripping down his back, Yakko checked Wakko to make sure that he had not gotten burned or hurt. He gave Wakko a hug, relieved that he had gotten to the kitchen in time to save one of the Warners from having an ugly morning.

But now he needed a shower. Putting Wakko in a chair in the corner with the threat of dire consequences should he even think of moving out of it, he grabbed fresh clothing and quickly got in the shower, spending fifteen minutes scrubbing the drying egg and powder combination out of his fur.

As he was in the shower, he heard Dot start screaming, and he had to hurry to go see what was wrong with her. Getting out and dressed, he ran to the bedroom and picked her up, talking to her and cuddling her, but without any success in getting her to stop crying.

Babies sometimes cried for no other reason than to cry. This apparently was one of those times.

Taking his sobbing sister to the kitchen, he called Wakko out of the corner. Putting Dot in the highchair, he handed Wakko a rag and told him to help clean up the mess he made before every roach in the building was in their apartment. Between the two of them, that was another fifteen minutes of scrubbing while Yakko lectured him again on the dangers of the stove and why he was not to touch it.

After Wakko's disastrous attempt to cook breakfast, the only thing left to eat in the house were three slices of bread, a cupful of milk, two eggs, peanut butter and the can of peas.

Wakko started fussing about not wanting toast; he wanted pancakes, even after Yakko pointed out that he could have had pancakes if he had not broken all the eggs and ended up dumping the mix on his head.

Dot would not stop screaming.

Yakko cooked the eggs, scrambled, and gave one to Dot and one to Wakko, along with some toast.

To nervous and frustrated to even think of eating, Yakko saw Wakko start to throw a piece of toast at him out of the corner of his eye. Giving him a look, he saw Wakko put the piece of toast back on his plate and return his look with a defiant look of his own. Yakko clenched his fists; not even out the door yet and he was acting up, and Dot was apparently taking lessons trying to follow in his footsteps.

Yakko took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom, needing to take a minute before he started screaming. He leaned his head against the wall for a minute, wishing he were anywhere but here. His eyes glanced over at the clock on the floor, and he felt his heart stop for a second.

_10:37 A.M._

The library was almost a forty minute walk. He was supposed to be there at 11:00 A.M. They should have left way before now. This was just perfect.

Snatching the library books off the battered dresser, he ran back to the kitchen, telling Wakko to hurry up with his breakfast, while trying to get Dot to eat the rest of hers. She apparently didn't appreciate being hurried, because she started crying and screaming 'no Yakky no' at the top of her small but extremely powerful lungs.

Tossing the dirty plates and pan in the sink, Yakko picked up Dot and grabbed Wakko's hand to head out the door. Wakko decided to reach for the stars in his quest to be a brat this morning by digging his heels in and protesting that he didn't want to go. Crouching down to Wakko's level, he informed him that he had one nerve last, and Wakko was getting on it. Wakko took one look at his brother's face and thought better of any further shenanigans. Swallowing, he quieted instantly and let Yakko lead him down the stairs.

Yakko had to refrain from breaking into a run when they hit the sidewalk, remembering that Wakko's legs were nowhere near as long as his, and as such, he would not be as quick. No way he could carry him; his arms were full with Dot and the books.

Yakko sighed, wondering what the session at the library was going to be like today. His usually sweet-natured sister sibling learned her tantrum lessons from Wakko well; her screaming was reaching a supersonic pitch, toons in the street were staring at him like he was getting ready to murder her, and if her little feet connected with his stomach one more time, he was going to throw up.

He crossed his fingers as he told Wakko to hurry up and stay out of the overflowing trashcan, and prayed that by the time they got to the library, both his siblings would be too exhausted to cause any trouble.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Well, this was actually just as bad as last week, and the week before that. No improvement at all_, he thought.

He was currently leaning against the back of Grandmother SweetStrudel's chair, watching her pudgy fingers turning each page, wearing the heavy hot costume, feeling his stomach jumping around, his head pounding, and hearing his breathing starting to come in funny little gasps. She was coming up on the halfway point of the story; pretty soon she was going to wander out and leave him up here, alone again, in front of the sea of unfriendly faces.

He was starting to wish her original idiots, Dee and Dum, were back. No matter how horrible they were, he was thinking it was better they were up here than him. At least if they were back, it would mean he was not up here.

He felt tears starting to sting at his eyes again and he furiously blinked them back, irritated at himself for even doing it again; he was acting like Wakko when he didn't get his way. He sighed and tried to scan the crowd without meeting anyone's eyes.

There were less children here this week; only twenty-four. Apparently he was so bad he was driving them out of here in droves. There were thirteen adults, including his special friend, the heckling crane. His wife was there too; a prissy looking bird wearing a very ugly grey housedress. The crane met his eyes, smirked, and nudged his neighbor, a small rhino toon; Yakko blinked. Did he get that much of a joy out of heckling a child that he brought a friend?

He shook his head, amazed, then stopped; he was making his bells jingle much to loud. Sweetstrudel stopped reading for a moment and glanced up at him, and he gave a little shrug, thinking that if she didn't like the bells, she should not have given him a costume with three of the biggest bells ever created on it. While the children laughed, she went back to reading, shooting Yakko one final look.

He scanned the crowd again, trying to pick out which child belonged to the bird couple, and determined it was probably the grubby kid sitting near Wakko and Dot. Yakko watched him for a second; the kid was probably thirty pounds overweight, and was shoving cookies in his beak quicker than Wimpy moving through a hamburger stand.

Yakko inwardly sneered at him, watching him grab cookies off another child's napkin, chew them up, and spit them at a little girl. The little girl started crying and ran to her mother while he laughed.

What a little turd. Thank goodness, not matter how much of a pain his siblings could be, they weren't _that _bad.

He looked at his brother briefly. At least he was behaving for the moment. He had been worried about that. The walk to the library had the opposite effect that Yakko had wanted; instead of wearing him out, it had seemed to energize him. By the time they reached the library, Wakko was bouncing off the ground like a Gummi Bear on speed. He had settled some when Yakko dragged him back to the children's section and he spotted Grandmother SweetStrudel.

Goose, already in costume, was less then pleased with his late arrival, but after giving her a very brief rundown of what his morning had been like, had simply informed him that the show must go on. She had started laying out the cookies and punch while Yakko got into his costume; she had even entertained Wakko for a bit with some silly jokes.

Dot was asleep; laying on the floor in front of Wakko, sucking her thumb and holding Wakko's tail like a skinny security blanket.

Wakko saw him, met his eyes, and smiled, giving a little wave. Yakko slightly raised one of his hands, encased in the wing, to give a little wave back, and Wakko looked delighted.

"This story is exciting, isn't it?"

Yakko looked at Grandmother SweetStreudel. She was going off for her break. He wished he could go; he had a bad feeling he was about to blow chunks. With half his face encased in a goose bill, he had a feeling it would be very messy.

"I must go rest for a moment children; Red's adventures and the Big Bad Wolf have taken a lot out of me. But Puddles here," she gestured to Yakko, who was already starting to shake, making the bells jingle lounder than before "is going to entertain you, right Puddles?"

"Uh…..Uh huh…." Yakko said. Dammit, she kept saying be prepared, but once again, he wasn't. What was he supposed to do, sing a love sonnet about the wolf?

"Oh great….him again. We come all the way from Nantucket Street every week for this?"

Yakko didn't even have to look; he knew who said it. The rude crane. He heard a couple of ugly snickers move throughout the audience, and he rolled his eyes. This was it; this was the very last week of this. Twenty dollars a week was not worth this fear and aggravation and heartache; he'd rather go beg on the streets.

Well, no he wouldn't, but almost.

Grandmother SweetStrudel stood, and giving Yakko another one of her half-encouraging, half-sarcastic smiles, wandered to the back of the section and out the door, again throwing him to the wolves.

Yakko watched her leave, trembling slightly and feeling his mouth go dry. He tried to wipe his forehead, but with the big wings, all he did was stick some lose feathers from the costume to his face. He heard several laughs.

"Come on loser - do something!"

Yakko felt his face go red. He was not even finishing this session, he didn't care how it looked. He moved one foot in front of him, determined to find Goose and shove the costume back at her and leave, when a little voice stopped him.

"Shut up doodie head!"

_Oh no…Wakko._

"Can it you mutant brat. We came almost two miles to see this little show - "

_Mutant Brat? Oh hell no…_

"Ehhhhhhh….Exsqueeze me? Brat? Who do you think you're calling a brat?"

Wakko, who had at first looked upset by the crane calling back at him, was now smiling. So much for his behaving.

_Oh, Wakko, you are in so much trouble_, Yakko thought. Once he took care of this jerk.

"The little freak on the floor with his tongue hanging out." The crane stood. "You got something to say about it? You gonna stutter at me?"

By now the section had gone silent, every eye in the place going from the crane to Yakko and back again like they were at a tennis match. Wakko stuck his tongue out at the crane.

"No," Yakko said, crossing his arms as best he could. He heard several feathers start breaking on the costume with the rough treatment, but he didn't give a damn at the moment. He put up with this jerk for an entire month without a word, but he drew the line at attacking his siblings. "No, I was just thinking that a guy with such a low IQ should have a low voice too."

Yakko heard several chuckles come from the audience, and he shut them out.

The crane blinked at him, "You little punk…"

"That's me. The punk in a goose costume. And you're the idiot that's trying to fight with me."

"Idiot am I? I'm not the one whose been crying and mutilating the English language for the last month in front of a bunch of kids."

"Sit down and shut up. If I wanted to hear from an ass I'd fart."

The children started laughing, several of them clapping, including Wakko. Probably wasn't the best choice of words; at the same time, when Goose found out he was verbally sparring with one of her kid's parents, he was probably going to be out of a job anyway. It didn't matter; he had made up his mind to quit, right?

"Now see here!" Yakko watched as his new friend's wife stood up. "You can not talk to my husband that way!"

"I just did."

"Young man, you're supposed to be entertaining us, not insulting us."

Yakko rolled his eyes. "Lady, the only reason you're here is because your husband didn't want to kiss you goodbye. Why don't you sit down and shut up too?"

To his amazement, the rhino laughed, along with most of the other parents, and a good number of the children. She followed his advise though; she sat down with a huff.

The crane started stalking toward him. "Bet you won't be such a smart mouth when I come up there and shove that big plastic beak down your throat."

Whoops - hadn't counted on that. Yakko warily watched the angered toon stalk toward him. Well, he had some practice avoiding swings; course they were from his parents, mostly when they were drunk. If by chance the crane actually hit him, well, it would not be the first hit in the mouth he took.

The crane suddenly fell on his face, and Yakko heard the audience roar, and saw Wakko standing to the side of the crane; he had stuck his foot out and tripped him. Yakko, a bit annoyed that Wakko put himself in danger, but more relived that Wakko had stopped the toon, motioned Wakko to go sit back down before the crane noticed him.

As Wakko scurried back to his seat next to Dot, the crane shook his head, held his beak, and glared up to the now smirking Yakko.

"You're down to earth, but not quite far down enough for me."

Amid the laughs and now hyper children starting to cheer and run around, the crane half stood, and Yakko took a step backwards, almost falling on his ass when he tripped over his giant feet, when a syrupy voice rang out, stilling all movement in the section.

"Oh, Puddles, I see that you're making friends! Oh how wonderful!"

Grandmother SweetStrudel came gliding back into the section after what Yakko determined was the longest five minute break ever. Where the hell did she go during these little sabbaticals? He almost got his face rearranged while she was out taking a coffee break.

Yakko, breathing heavy, shot a look to Wakko, who was standing and talking to another child, a little boy bunny, and gesturing wildly. Catching Yakko's look, he sat back down and moved Dot closer to him; she had woken up at some point during the verbal spat and was trying to crawl away.

"Now children, where were we? Excuse me sir, could you please take your seat?" She looked down at the still crouching crane. "If you feel you need a nap, perhaps you could move to the back of the section?" She smiled sweetly as the crane half walked, half crawled back to his fuming wife.

Grandmother SweetStrudel picked up the book out of the seat of the chair and settled into it with a rather contented sigh. Yakko took his customary place behind the chair, leaning on the back. Catching her eye, he was surprised to see what he thought was satisfaction in her look. She gave his feather covered hand a quick pat; and, with a small smile, asked everyone to settle down as she continued to finish the story.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Wasn't that a great story children?"

Whoops, catcalls, and a resounding 'YES' echoed through the section at Grandmother SweetStrudel's question.

"We should thank Puddles for picking us such a good story this week! What do you say?"

A chorus of "Thanks Puddles!", along with a "Thanks Yakko!" and a "Yakky de Goosey!" came back at her. Yakko rolled his eyes and slapped one of his winged hands to his forehead - his sibs didn't seem to get that when he was in the monstrous costume, he was 'Puddles', not 'Yakky'.

Well, for another ten minutes anyway.

"I'll see you all next week children - I know Puddles is going to find us a good story then too."

_Oh no he's not._

"In the meantime, maybe Puddles can take us out with a little poem? He was pretty chatty earlier."

What? Why, why why was she doing this to him? What evil did he ever do to her?

Fine, she wants a poem, he'll give her a poem, and take another shot at the crane, who was still holding his bill and glaring at him, along with his wife. He also noticed that their own little brat had been trying to antagonize Wakko, who, bless him, had not risen to the bait. Yet.

"Sure, GS, I'll give it a shot."

He smirked and thought quickly. The crane and said something about Nantucket Street, which he knew was on the outskirts of Plympton, right near Clampett District.

_Here goes_, he thought. Shooting a smirk and looking right at the crane, he began.

"There once was a man from Nantucket  
Who carried horse manure in a bucket  
Though one day he fell  
The ground he did hit  
And suddenly, he got doused in -"

He had no idea that old fat ladies in petticoats could move so fast. He felt her right hand come crashing down around the bill, shoving it into his face and cutting him off, while her left arm curled around his waist and lifted him several feet off the ground. He tried to struggle against her, but she had a pretty good grip. To good; she was starting to cut off air. He stopped trying to kick her, and she loosened her grip, slightly.

She gave a forced laugh and shook him as a few of the children laughed, Wakko along with them. A few parents looked a bit scandalized, many more were holding back laughs, and the crane's feathers were actually turning red. Yakko looked at him; maybe smoke would come out of his ears.

"Heh, Puddles is a silly goose and needs to go to his nest for awhile. So, goodnight everybody - see you next week!"

As the children and parents began to mill about the section and leave, she finally unhanded him and told him to entertain his brother for a few minutes. The crane, his wife, and their child were heading toward her.

_Yeah, right_.

Telling Wakko to come with him, he picked up Dot and quickly went to the bathroom with them to strip off the costume, hopefully for the last time. As soon as he was out of the costume, Wakko jumped on him, almost knocking him over, and telling him he was the best 'Piddles the Duck' he ever saw. Even after Yakko told him it was 'Puddles the Goose' and he was the only one he ever saw, Wakko still was singing his praises, while Dot happily chanted 'Yakky de Goosey!'

Well, his fan club may only have two members, but they were the two best fans he could ever ask for.

Picking up Dot with one arm and the costume with another, he told Wakko to follow him - he wanted to get his pay, clean up and get out of there.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh for heaven's sake, you're not on that again?"

"What?"

"You're going to try to quit again? It hasn't worked the other weeks, why do you think it would work this one?"

She was refusing to accept his resignation. Again. Yakko sighed - she was as stubborn as Wakko.

"I'm not any good at this."

"I think you are great at it. I knew you had it in you, and today confirmed it."

"What, fighting with the audience?"

"You didn't fight with the audience - you fought with two members, both who royally deserved it. And I noticed you didn't stutter, blank out, or in any way embarrass yourself. Though I object to you using the word 'ass' in front of the children - next time try something a little less offensive. Children can pick up all sorts of words you know."

She should have heard what Wakko surprised him with a couple of weeks ago if she wanted offensive.

"And that little limerick at the end, creative, but uncalled for. There's no need for swearing."

Yakko snorted. "I've heard you swearing plenty of times."

"I'm old, I can do what I want."

"Oh, that's fair."

"Hate to tell you, life's not fair. You're intelligent enough to express your thoughts without turning into a potty mouth. Start talking like that, people look down on you."

Yakko did a double take; it sounded almost like the lecture he had given to Wakko.

"Ok, fine, but I still don't -"

"Oh hush and give me that." She yanked the goose head out of Yakko's hands and packed it away in her bag. "Every week we go through the same thing; you say you quit, and we have this argument." She took the rest of the costume as Yakko crossed his arms and looked at her. "Honestly, didn't it feel good to finally say something to that guy?"

Yakko raised an eyebrow. "You heard all of it?" And she still wanted him to stay? He knew the crane and his wife had been livid...

"Yes I heard it all. Thought it was not only funny, but fitting. You did good. And I doubt he and his ilk will be back anytime soon to mess with 'Puddles the Mad Goose'. Think of it as a success; I noticed you seemed a lot more comfortable in front of the group after it."

He had to admit, once he got rolling, his stage fright was pretty much forgotten. He had thought clearly, he had not trembled, gotten sick, anything. He had been angry when he had started talking to the crane, but the anger had abated as the laughter started, and the applause, and the words had started coming a lot easier…

He almost staggered. He had done it. He blinked and started grinning. Goose saw the look and started laughing.

"Told you I knew you could do it. Just takes a little time. Still want to quit?"

"Um…well -"

"Of course you don't. Now, am I correct in guessing that you have not accessed your Hammerspace yet?"

His good mood evaporated. His grin turned into a frown and he nodded.

"Don't worry about it. You did this, you will do that too, eventually. Now, I need to head to my next session." She handed him his standard ten and two fives. "Here's your pay; get this place cleaned up. Don't forget to find a story for next week."

Yakko crammed the money into his pocket and watched her waddle out of the section. She turned back to him.

"By the way, you're rhyming scheme was wrong. The first, second, and fifth lines are supposed to rhyme. Make the third and fourth lines rhyme next time."

With this last helpful piece of advice, she disappeared out the doorway.

Wakko hopped out of the chair; after it was vacated by Grandmother SweetStrudel, he considered it his. He ran over to Yakko as he started picking up napkins.

"Want a cookie?" Wakko held up a cookie.

Wondering what she brought this week, Yakko looked at it; it was a candy cane shaped cookie. It was only November, why were there Christmas cookies out….

November. Oh no.

Telling Wakko to stay in the section no matter what, he stuck his head out to the main portion of the library and spotted a librarian. Asking her what day it was, he was told November 5th.

His pulse slowed slightly. It was only the 5th. He had not missed it.

Running into the section, he asked Wakko to help him clean up. Seeing his brother's frantic expression, Wakko said ok, and asked what was wrong.

Picking up Wakko and spinning around with him, he said, "Nothing's wrong Wakko! Something's really good!"

"What?"

"Tomorrow is Dot's first birthday!"

XXXXXXXXXX

_This isn't working_, he thought, frustrated, hearing the ball again falling to the carpet.

Maybe his father was wrong; maybe his kids were not going to be talented. Maybe it wasn't back there and he was totally wasting his time. With his luck so far, he had shown as much talent as Speed Racer.

He shook his head, trying to remember all of Goose's words; 'You have to believe its back there; suspension of belief; waiting to be used…'

"Yakko! I want to go!"

"I said no Wakko. Now be quiet - you'll wake Dot."

Wakko stomped his foot. "I don't care."

"I do; it's her birthday Wak, try to behave. Now stop."

Wakko stomped off toward the kitchen, and Yakko rolled his eyes. As long as he didn't decide to try to cook dinner, there was not much trouble he could get into in the kitchen.

Wakko had decided that he wanted to go to the park today; taking one look out the window had killed that plan in Yakko's mind. Every hour that passed it got more and more threatening outside, dark clouds rolling in, and the wind picking up. Even now, he could hear the old fire escape banging gently against the side of the building.

The wind was giving off a nice breeze though, and Yakko had the windows open to cool off the apartment and try to blow out some of the cigarette smoke that always built up in their home due to his parents' chain smoking. He liked having the windows open, but it could be problematic; with no screens in them, there was the risk of a multitude of bugs invading their home. Bad enough the roaches and spiders, though with trying to wipe up spills and crumbs as they fell, he had noticed the roach population had dwindled considerably.

Yakko was actually looking forward to his sister waking up from her nap. A real birthday celebration, the first for any of them. He was pretty excited about it.

After leaving the library yesterday, still feeling somewhat triumphant after his somewhat more successful time on stage, they had gone to the store. While stocking up the house as much as he could, considering that they had to carry home anything they wanted, Yakko had bought a small pink cake for her birthday.

Finding the very small toy aisle, he had bought her a set of cheap, large colorful plastic blocks, a coloring book, and a set of cheap crayons. He had been surprised at the crayons - big around as a sausage. He was already making a mental note to himself that she was not going to be using those without him around - he could already see the walls being decorated with crayon streaks.

He had spent a little time explaining to Wakko why he was buying Dot something but not him. At first Wakko had thought it was because he liked Dot better again. Reminding him of their prior conversation, Wakko not only understood, he wanted to help find the perfect present, and was the one who picked out the blocks. There were only ten in the package, but the price was right at two dollars, and the blocks were large enough that he didn't have to worry about Dot accidentally swallowing one.

Then of course there was the usual argument of Wakko wanting a soda, Yakko saying no, finally giving in, and having to deal with a hyperactive toddler on the walk home.

Yakko had been thinking about yesterday as he again reached around to the small of his back, and got temporarily excited; he could have sworn he felt a cold spot. Didn't Dad say, in one of his more fatherly moments, that it was cool in the Hammerspace?

Not cool enough; the ball dropped to the floor with the usual thud and rolled under the couch, and Yakko almost howled in frustration. Getting down on his hands and knees, he reached under the couch and picked up the ball.

Still on the floor, he saw a pair of small white feet stomp into his view, and a flicking tail hit the side of his head.

"Yakko, I want to go out."

"Wakko, how many times can I say no?"

Wakko shrugged. "I don't know."

"I don't either. Please stop asking; we're not going today. If it doesn't rain, we'll go tomorrow."

"I don't want to go tomorrow! I want to go today!"

"How did you get to be so stubborn?" Yakko was almost amazed; Wakko could be the most stubborn persistent kid one minute, and the next minute he could be so forgiving and sweet.

He saw Wakko shrug again, and he decided to try the ignoring technique. It had been moderately successful in the past.

Yakko again reached around, determined to achieve success this afternoon no matter what. The ball hit the floor and he bent to pick it up.

"I'm going without you."

Yakko looked up to see Wakko stomping to the front door. He had to laugh.

"Wakko, you can't even reach the doorknob, let alone the top lock! Give it up kiddo."

Yakko closed his eyes, concentrating again. He was going to find it today if it killed him. He could almost feel a cool spot; what was going on? The ball dropped to the floor.

Yakko bent to pick it up, and looked toward the door. He didn't see Wakko. He had been right there, where did he go?

"Wakko? Kiddo?"

The hell? The door never opened. He looked around - where was he?

He turned and looked toward the window, seeing the tip of a black tail going out of sight around the sill, outside on the fire escape.

Dammit! He was going to kill Wakko, if he didn't get killed first on that death trap of an escape. He couldn't believe him...

Ball still in his hand, Yakko ran toward the window. As his arms swung with his run, his right hand, holding the ball, swung behind his back, and he tripped in shock.

His hand was cool; almost cold, it felt like a light wind was blowing around his fingers, picking at the fabric of his glove. His fist was pushing into something; it felt like webbing, like pushing on the net of a tennis racket. It was firm, and he pushed his fist a bit harder into it, and could feel it giving. He pushed a little harder, and felt his hand break through the webbing, and an emptiness behind it.

Trembling, feeling bits of a sheer sticky material clinging to his gloves, he unhanded the ball, and did not hear it hit the floor.

He had found it.

He let out a whoop of joy - after all that work and stress and worry; not only had he somewhat conquered his stage fright, he had finally found his Hammerspace.

What a weekend.

He pulled his fist out, minus the golf ball, and looked at it; he could see bits of silvery white strands of something clinging to his glove, and he pulled some off with his other hand. Feeling it between his fingers, he watched, amazed, as it slowly faded away until it was all gone, like it was only a memory.

He straightened up; he had to thank Wakko for -

Damn.

"Wakko! Get back here!"

Looking out the window, he could see Wakko about eight steps down the fire escape, almost down to the next level. The wind was picking up, and the fire escape, not secured to the building properly, was starting to swing harder.

Wakko looked up at Yakko. He stepped back up one stair and stopped as the escape groaned.

"Don't move Wakko! Stay where you are."

Pushing his own fear and nervousness down, Yakko stepped out the window and onto the ledge, feeling the rickety landing vibrating under his feet. Gripping the rusted handrails, he slowly stepped down the first step, wincing at the squeal it let out, and tightening his hands as the entire fire escape continued to sway, not only with the wind, but with the added weight.

Wondering how long it had been since anyone had used it, if ever, and why no one bothered to inspect them, Yakko took another step down. Only five more and he could grab him.

Yakko stepped down another stair, ignored the cracking sound, and just reached over the last stair to pick his brother up by the scruff of his neck and pulled him to his chest.

Wakko was clinging to him, arms wrapped around his neck like a vice, and Yakko quickly backed up the stairs to the landing and climbed in their window.

Jesus. Times like this, he wished he smoked. It would be nice to take the edge off.

Yakko held his trembling brother. That could have ended badly, very badly.

"Sorry."

"Not half as sorry as you're gonna be. What were you thinking," Yakko hissed at him, pulling him away from his chest and holding him up to his face. "You know how dangerous that thing is! I've told you before to stay away from it haven't I?"

"Yes," Wakko mumbled, not meeting his eye.

"So why'd you do it?"

Wakko shrugged and Yakko barely restrained himself from shaking him.

"I hope you have a better explanation than that."

Wakko shrugged again, and Yakko had a feeling that he was probably not going to get an answer from him. One of those child things he supposed.

"Fine. You're going back in the corner -"

"No!"

"Yes! And no TV tonight."

"But I want to watch -"

"Tough."

He carried his now struggling brother to the living room corner and put him back in the chair. The way Wakko was going, he was racking up more corner time than a bookshelf this weekend.

"Don't move out of that chair Wakko."

Wakko slouched down in the chair, crossing his arms and sulking. Yakko watched him for a minute and walked back to the couch, sitting down and putting his hands over his face.

Another plus for the weekend; he had managed to not get his brother killed. He should have watched him closer.

Of course, Wakko should have listened to his repeated warnings about staying away from the fire escape. Not to mention he should have also listened to his repeated warnings about not touching the stove - that apparently went in one long ear and out the other too.

Yakko suddenly remembered. He reached around behind him, feeling a slight coolness.

Fingers drawn to the chill, he reached toward it; it almost felt like a sheer veil was being run over his fingers; the entrance to the Hammerspace.

Glad he was flexible, he bent his arm further, and fingers feeling around the void, felt the golf ball. He really didn't find it; it was almost like it shot into his hand when he thought about it.

He pulled it out and looked at it. Same stupid golf ball, now with a slight chill to it.

Grinning, he turned at a noise; Wakko was peeking at him over the top of the chair.

Half wanting to tell him to turn around, Yakko looked at him. Not really angry at him anyway, just more irritated at the scare he received, he waved his hand for Wakko to join him on the couch.

Wakko looked delighted, and bounded over to the couch, jumping up beside him. Yakko raised an eyebrow to look at him. He thought he would still be sulky, then remembered that three year olds don't really hold grudges.

"Why do you keep playing with that ball?"

"I was using it for practice."

"Oh. Practicing what?"

"Hammerspace."

"What's that?"

"I'll explain when you're older." He was not discussing toon theory with a toddler. That was asking for a headache.

Wakko reached out to touch the ball and looked at his brother.

Yakko picked him up and held him in his lap, resting his cheek on the top of Wakko's head.

"When's Dot waking up?"

"In a little while. We'll eat dinner and have a little party for her then, OK?"

Wakko settled back into Yakko's chest. "Ok."

On cue, they both heard 'Up! Up! Up!' coming from the bedroom.

Still holding Wakko, Yakko stood and walked back to the bedroom to pick up their sister to bring her to her very first birthday party.

End Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you again everyone for your reviews.

Thanks to Dane for helping me with the poem, and of course to my wonderful beta - _DancesWithCorpses - _her awesomeness knows no bounds.

Chapter 5 - _Developing Skills_

Saturday December 3, 1988

"OK Wakko - make a wish and blow out the candles!"

Yakko put the cake, a white and blue frosted square, in front of Wakko and stood beside him.

Dot, sitting in her high chair on Wakko's right, was watching the celebration with wide eyes, laughing and bouncing around in her chair.

Yakko watched, a grin on his face, as Wakko inhaled, his little chest expanding, held the breath for a second, then released the air. The four candles flickered and died out. Yakko really wished he had a camera for events like this; he knew he'd never forget it, but it would probably be nice to be able to show even a snapshot or two to both his siblings later in their life. You didn't have a first birthday, or a fourth birthday, every year.

Yakko started clapping as Wakko grinned, Dot joining in, little black furred hands clapping, still happily bouncing and kicking her feet.

He grabbed the knife off the counter and pulled the cake in front of him, starting to slice off pieces and putting them on plates. This cake was slightly fresher than the one he bought for Dot's birthday - this one went out of date tomorrow.

"Finally four now," he said, putting a piece in front of his brother. "Just think, one year from today -"

"I'll get my gloves!" Wakko finished for him, grabbing his fork and starting to eat.

"How come I can't get them now?"

"You know toons don't get gloves until their five, Wak, it's too important to do before hand," he answered, handing Dot a fork.

She grinned as Yakko put a piece of cake in front of her. She tried to stab at the cake, missed, and ended up jamming the fork into the top of his hand. He jerked his hand back quickly - that was going to leave a mark. And it did; he could see little indentations in his glove.

Dot giggled. "Oopsie Cutie." She then dropped the fork, leaning over in her high chair to look at it on the floor and waving at it. "Bye-Bye!"

Yakko picked it up and tossed it in the sink; maybe she was too young to try to use eating utensils. He got another fork and proceeded to give her a forkful himself; it was easier on his hands.

He turned to look at Wakko, happy to see that for once he was not eating like Garfield tearing through a pan of lasagna. Maybe they could get through an entire meal without someone wearing it.

With that thought, he turned to his own piece. Forgetting where he placed his plate, his elbow hit it and it went spilling into his lap. Wakko and Dot started laughing, Dot banging her fist on the chair's tray, Wakko almost choking on his cake.

With a wry look at them, he stood to clean up the spill, as they continued to giggle. The good mood was contagious, and he finally started laughing too.

He bent down to wipe the floor, scrubbing at where the frosting got stuck in the cracked blue linoleum.

"Can I have my present now?"

Yakko stood up, wiping his pants which now had blue frosting on the leg. Both Wakko and Dot were done with their cake. Figures, he was the only one who was wearing it this time.

"Sure - let's go in the other room."

Wakko climbed out of the chair, spilling the phone books on the floor, and raced into the living room. Yakko lifted Dot out of her chair. He carried her to the edge of the kitchen and placed her on the carpet, feet first. He grabbed her right hand and, half crouching, grinned as she placed one tiny white foot in front of the other, standing on her toes, feet turned outward as she grinned at him again. He let go of her hand, standing right beside her, and watched, please, as she took several steps before starting to fall forward.

Wakko had jumped up on the couch and was waiting for Yakko and Dot to make their way over to him. He was leaning on the armrest, watching them; Yakko knew he was curious what he had bought him. He had barely left him alone since they returned home.

Yakko laughed at Wakko's eager look; the last time he got a present, it was his birthday last year, when Yakko had given him his bunny. Yakko had hated to give him a hand me down stuffed toy. But, the bunny had been well loved by Yakko when he was Wakko's age, and Wakko had proven to be just as fond of the faded bunny as he had been. Even now, he knew the bunny was sitting on the bed, waiting for Wakko to go to bed and snuggle up with him.

Hoping that Wakko liked this present as much as his last one, Yakko scooped up Dot and placed her on the cushion next to Wakko, who sat down. Yakko grabbed a black bag off the top of the television; it had been hell not only finding this present, but buying it with Wakko beside him, but he had managed it.

Wakko's birthday had fallen on a Saturday this year, and Yakko had been debating not going to the library so they could spend the day doing something Wakko wanted to do. He had sat down with Wakko yesterday and asked him what he wanted to do, expecting some wild answer. He had been pleasantly surprised when Wakko had still wanted to go to the library, stating that he liked it, and he knew Yakko liked it too.

Plus, he had added, cookies. Goose had been bringing in all the Christmas themed ones, and Wakko was practically addicted to the tree-shaped sugar cookies with the green sprinkles on them. Yakko had mentioned previously that Wakko's birthday was this Saturday, and Goose had made a special effort to not only have those cookies at the session today; she had even bought an extra box just for Wakko to take home. Yakko had immediately taken the box from him; bad enough he had cookies for lunch - he wasn't eating cookies for dinner as well.

Yakko thought about what his brother had said. He wasn't sure if he would call what he felt for his employment 'like". True, he wasn't nauseous at the thought any longer; he no longer was worried about tearing up, nor did he get the shakes. It was really great waking and being able to eat something Saturday morning without worrying about it making a reappearance sometime Saturday afternoon.

He looked down at Wakko, who was sitting on the couch, leaned forward in anticipation, wondering what his brother had bought him that was so much work. Handing him the bag, Wakko pulled the movie out, looked at the picture and grinned, recognizing the characters even if he couldn't read the title.

Jumping from the couch into Yakko's arms, he kissed his cheek and waved the movie around over his head.

"Can we watch now?"

"Sure we can," Yakko replied, taking the movie before he got hit in the head.

Dropping Wakko on the couch beside the giggling Dot, he slipped the movie out of the paper sleeve and put it into the VCR, and they waited patiently for everything to warm up, the TV finally springing to life.

Yakko sat on the couch and held his arms out as Dot crawled across the couch and Wakko bounced, both landing in his lap at the same time. With Dot claiming his right leg and Wakko the left, they both settled back into his chest as the music started.

Wakko looked up at him, flashing a grin before turning back to the television. Yakko leaned back into the couch to enjoy the movie with his siblings, trying to push any worries out of his head.

Other than a very brief appearance by his father earlier in the week, he had not seen either of his parents in almost two weeks. His father had come by long enough to go over yet another card trick, check his progress on one he had shown him the week before, drop off a bag of groceries, and had disappeared again. He still had no idea what was wrong with Mom.

Well, at least the present was a success.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I knew you could do it - I just knew it!"

Yakko had to smile - there was nothing like seeing an old lady in a muumuu tying to jump around on one leg cheering.

"When?"

"Sunday afternoon. I kept feeling a small cold spot - "

"Cold spot? I don't think I would have told you that."

"You didn't - heard it from someone else."

"I don't usually tell anyone that - gets them expecting to feel it, then they get frustrated when they don't and they give up. Usually easier to let them find it out on their own. What else happened?" Goose had a small smile on her face; if Yakko didn't know better, he would say that she was almost enjoying reliving the moment with him.

"Well, it was Dot's birthday -"

"Should have told me - I would have brought her some cookies."

"She gets plenty of cookies here."

"No kid gets enough cookies." She turned her head to watch Wakko.

Yakko turned to look at his brother as well. He was standing in her chair, cookie in one hand and looking in her bag with the other. Dot was in the seat beside him, holding his tail. He pulled out a small bottle of pills and tried to unscrew the top, still munching on the cookie.

"Wakko, put that back! Don't go through her things."

Wakko looked up at Yakko's voice, and dropped the bottle back in the bag. He gave Yakko a slightly chagrined look, and seeing his brother's glare, dropped back into the seat beside Dot. Dot reached out and took his cookie, and he again stood up to get another one as she began to eat it, dropping crumbs all over herself and the chair.

Yakko shook his head as Goose continued.

"When's his birthday?"

"Next month - the 3rd. And he doesn't need any additional cookies either. He's already on a sugar high every time we leave here."

Goose smirked, but continued. "So, it was your sister's birthday, I know you were feeling pretty good after the session - that had to help the weekend."

"Definitely. Other than him trying to kill himself," he said, pointing to Wakko, "nothing much happened." Seeing Goose's curious look, he answered. "He climbed out on the rickety fire escape. When I was going to chase him, I finally found it. I about fell on my face; I was starting to run, and my hand just went into it -"

Goose nodded. "Joy, satisfaction, annoyance, fear. While you were experiencing all of those, you were not thinking of finding it -"

"No, I was thinking of strangling him," Yakko muttered.

"He's just testing his limits – they all do at that age. Regardless of what it was, it's what lead you to find the opening. Congratulations again!" She grabbed Yakko and hugged him to her, surprising him. "It's always a delight when you find another toon with Schlesinger Syndrome. Remember how much work and frustration it was to find it. You may need that to help your brother and sister after they get their gloves - I'm sure they have Schlesinger Syndrome; it usually runs in the family line."

Yakko nodded.

"Now, I'm sure you have questions."

Yakko had a thousand questions actually, but figuring that neither of them had time to discuss that many, decided to ask about a few things that puzzled him.

"When I first found the entrance," he stopped for a second, not sure what to call it. "There was a net, or something, I don't know, I could feel -"

"The Harman-Ising Membrane."

Yakko nodded, he had read about it. "I thought it would feel different; the books I read -"

"The books never go into the basics like they should. What good is it to know the theory of doing a mallet pull if you can't find the hammerspace? Some of the books out there, ah - written by toons that never breached their H-I Membrane," she said, looking at his face. "I encourage you to read all you can; if the information is above your capability now, it won't be in a month, or six months, or a year. No matter what the subject, even if you think it's the most useless bit of knowledge in the world, not even worth your time learning, learn it anyway. Who knows when it could come in handy? Just use common sense when you decide to use that knowledge."

Yakko nodded, it was solid advice. "After I broke through, there was something on my hands, long silver wisps, but they disappeared after a few seconds. Every now and then I see some -"

"That, my boy, was what was left of your H-I Membrane; think of it as the shredding of your disbelief - you ripped that last layer of doubt; you're retraining your mind. You believe it's back there, right?" Yakko nodded. "You broke the boundary of reality; unless someone slaps a pair of HRC's on you, you'll always be able to access it."

"HRC's? Those cuffs with the acetone and white-out?"

She nodded. "Hammerspace Restriction Cuffs. Nasty things. Don't agree with their use most times, but still, they keep the rabble at Panic in line."

Goose looked at her watch, then reached behind her and grabbed something. Handing it to Yakko, he looked down. It was a large yellow plastic flower. He was more alarmed when he was able to identify it as a daisy. He felt his face crinkling in confusion, and he looked at her.

"You got the golf ball still?"

Yakko nodded and began to reach for it, but she stopped him.

"Leave it for now. It's not going anywhere. Practice with that," she said, nodding to the flower.

Yakko held it up. "Practice? With this? What am I supposed to do with it?"

"See if you can get that in your space."

Yakko frowned at her. "Of course I can, I got the golf ball -"

"You haven't tried to store anything else in there, have you?" she questioned, giving him a sharp look.

Yakko shook his head.

"Good. Don't. You could damage the opening."

"What are you talking about now?" _Just when she was starting to make sense…_

"Yeah, they never talk about that in the books either. Trust me, you do not want to 'leap the mallet' on this one. Ever heard of Grifter Geef?"

Yakko shrugged. "Some bank robber I think."

He looked at the flower; he was going to look so fey walking down the street carrying it; he wondered if Dot would hold it for him. He rethought that - she would probably just bat him in the face with it on the walk home. He could give it to Wakko; he wouldn't care about carrying it, but he'd be just as likely to eat it.

"Some bank robber indeed. He had very little training; got just enough tutoring to access his hammerspace and thought he knew it all. Cracked the safe at Spacely's National Bank and started shoving money in it. His disguise was good and the plan was sound; he very likely would have escaped, but he ended up damaging his hammerspace in the escape."

"Damaging it? How?

"You don't build up to it, slowly, you can wedge it open, or permanently seal it, if you're not careful. Grifter ended up wedging it open permanently; even as he escaped, money was flying from behind him. All the cops had to do was follow the trail of cash directly to his hideout; him and the Ant Hill Mob were all busted at the same time."

_Yikes. The books really skimp on some facts_, he thought. But really, a flower? How embarrassing.

He had hoped to rent some extra books this week and carry them back there - actually, he had planned on being able to use it to carry groceries as well. He liked the idea of having at least one of his hands free, just incase anyone came up to them, or he had to wrestle Wakko out of the street or a trashcan or something.

His thoughts must have been broadcast on his face, because he noticed her giving him a rather hard look. "Ok, Ok," he conceded, putting his hands up in defeat. "I'll use the flower this week." After all the work he had had to do to finally find and access it, he sure wasn't risking damaging the apparently fragile opening.

"See that you do. Toons are a resilient bunch, but any of us, even the special ones, can get hurt, permanently or otherwise."

"Ok, sure, fine." _This was one ugly flower_, he thought, looking at it again.

"Just envision it going in, and when you need it, just think of it in your hand; it will be there. In time, it will be just as easy as the golf ball."

"How long does all this build up take?"

"Anxious for your mallet, huh? I suppose it's always that way with you youngsters - bit of a status symbol for you. You'll get a mallet when you're ready for a mallet. In the meantime, use that," she said, nodding her head toward the flower again.

She looked at her watch. "It's getting late; I have to get to my next session." She handed him his pay.

"Get this place cleaned up; find a story; you know the drill. And remember what I said; nothing else besides the flower."

"All right, already," he muttered. Who knew learning all this was going to be so trying?

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko sat down hard on the couch and glared at the flower. After Goose gave it to him three days ago, he figured it would be a snap, reach around find the opening, and just slip it in and be done with it. How hard could it be?

Now though, he couldn't find the opening. He could find it if he didn't have the stupid flower, he had pulled the golf ball out several times; it was right there as soon as he stuck his empty hand back. If he had the flower though...

Annoyed, he tossed it on the couch cushion. He'd deal with it later.

He grabbed his playing cards off the cushion where he had tossed the flower; he was anxious to do something, he just didn't know what. He felt antsy.

As he was shuffling the deck, he heard a noise, and peeked over the top of the couch. Wakko was standing in the hallway.

"Wakko," he sighed, "I am not playing this game with you today."

"What game?"

Yakko watched him walk into the living room, carrying his stuffed bunny by an ear. Yawning, Wakko looked up at him and gave a grin.

"The _I'm-not-going-to-take-my-nap-so-I-can-stay-up-and-be-a-pain-in-the-butt_ game."

"Don't need a nap - I'm too old."

"Yeah, OK Methuselah. Bed."

Wakko shook his head, ears bouncing off his face. "I'm four - to old for a nap."

"You got another three weeks until you're four."

"Close enough," he shrugged.

"Not for me." Yakko picked him up, and began to carry him back to the bedroom as Wakko started struggling, kicking a foot into his stomach in the process.

"I don't want to Yakko!"

"Too bad." Noticing the look his brother was giving him, he added, "Don't even bother, it's not going to work."

Wakko went from his wide-eyed _'please please let me do what I want'_ look to his sulky look, which was becoming all to common lately. Yakko looked at him and silently sighed; he was going to have another fight on his hands.

"I'm not tired."

"Yeah, it's why you keep yawning. You were up with the sun and running wild at the park earlier; I know you're tired." _I know I am_, he added silently.

"Said I'm not tired!"

"Hush Wakko; Dot's asleep."

"Put me down!"

Wakko balled his small, but surprisingly hard hand into a fist and punched him in the ear.

Annoyed, Yakko grabbed his hand as it went back to stop a second assault on his ear; they took enough abuse with Dot.

"Don't do that again Wakko." he warned.

He did anyway, and Yakko's slight headache from earlier began to grow into a migraine. Yakko put him on the bed and gave him a hard look.

"I don't want a nap!"

Yakko crossed his arms – why was this getting to be such a chore? The last three days was the same thing. He tried to put him down; Wakko would fuss and moan enough that he would relent. He'd let him stay up, and by 6:30 or 7:00 he was so whiny and miserable that it was all he could do not to chuck him out the nearest window. Then he'd put up another ruckus about going to bed.

"Take one anyway."

"No!"

"Yes."

"You don't."

"I'm older."

"Yaaaaaakkooooooo – I don't want to!"

Again with the teeth-jarring whine and the tears. Yakko paused – maybe it was a phase thing - again – maybe he should just let him stay up, and deal with it – how long could it possibly last? He was going to wake Dot – Yakko stuck his head around the door frame to look across the hall at the crib. She was still down, but if the racket kept up, she wouldn't be for long.

"Come on Wakko, it's not worth crying about."

Apparently he thought it was; he was getting louder.

Yakko bit his lip and thought; if he let him stay up, he was whiny until he forced him to go to bed. If he went to bed too early, he ended up waking before the crack of dawn, which meant that he had to get up with him.

Then there was the added worry of Mom and Dad coming back today sometime; they should have been home yesterday actually, but Yakko had learned long ago not to expect them to show up on time. If they did manage to stumble in the door today or tomorrow morning early, an extremely irritable toddler, or one running wild at the crack of dawn would probably put them in a _mood_.

As Wakko released another shrill scream, he figured he better find some way to calm him down; half the building probably thought he was being tortured by this point.

"You want to read a story?"

_Nope, guess not_, he thought, moving back slightly so Wakko's little fist didn't connect with his stomach; no sense in having that hurt too.

"How about we go play with the cards; you like that right?"

Another burst of tears answered that question for him, too. He wondered if he let him stay at it long enough he would just wear himself out and cry himself to sleep.

He stood by the doorway for a minute, and decided that was not a good idea, no way could he or anyone else take that screaming for much longer. Besides, he felt bad; his brother was upset, and he had no idea why. If he had no idea why he was upset, he couldn't fix it.

Getting desperate, he asked, "Want a snack? We got some cheese...No? Um, watch a movie? Come on Wakko, tell me what's gonna make you calm down...Please? Come on, are you trying to drive your big brother crazy?"

Wakko didn't answer, just kept crying, and Yakko was almost at the point of begging or crying himself. He finally sat down on the bed next to him and picked him up, holding him in his lap. Pushing himself up against the wooden headboard, he leaned back, still holding Wakko. After a few minutes, Wakko slowed his crying fit, but did not stop completely.

In desperation, Yakko started humming. Whether this confused his brother or calmed him down he wasn't sure, but Wakko's crying was slowly starting to subside.

Listening to him sniff, Yakko started singing softly, making up the lyrics in his head seconds before they popped out of his mouth.

"_Dear little brother, go to sleep  
You've played the morning away  
While over you a watch I do keep.  
You'll be up again later today "_

"_Little Wakko, brother dear  
Sleep is something we all must do  
As you dream, just remember  
Big brother Yakko loves you…"_

It didn't put Wakko to sleep, but it seemed to help calm him down. Picking up the bunny which had been thrown to the end of the bed in his tantrum, Yakko handed it to Wakko, who cuddled it and pushed his head back into Yakko's chest.

Yakko listened as Wakko's breathing started to slow; he was finally falling asleep. Waiting a few minutes, he looked down. Wakko was out like a light; curled up in his lap.

Hoping he didn't wake him, Yakko gently moved him from his lap to the bed.

Putting his hand on Wakko's forehead and looking at him for a minute, he had to grin. He had just made up probably the dumbest lyrics to a lullaby ever, but it seemed to have pleased his brother. Maybe that and a story would be the new bedtime routine.

_It sure beat the fighting and tantrums and hitting,_ he thought, rubbing his ear again. He had to admit, the kid had a punch.

He thought the _terrible twos _were bad; he had a feeling that he was going to be looking at some _fearsome fours _here shortly if today was any indication.

Wakko had never thrown a tantrum like that before, and he had had some doozies. The last week or so he had noticed that Wakko was getting more feisty, more independent, less likely to listen to him, more prone to wander off on his own, and more likely to break into a fit when he didn't get his way...he probably should rent a child development book, since he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

He was just happy no one else had heard the lyrics; they were pretty silly. Chances were that Wakko would not remember, and Yakko already knew he was not going to tell anyone. Snorting, he walked quietly from the room, leaving the door open and went across the hall.

Stepping silently, he crossed the dirty carpet to look in the crib. Dot was still asleep; he could barely believe that she didn't wake up during all that. Then again, she had a big day; he knew she was exhausted. While they were at the park earlier today, she had stunned him again by not only standing, but taking a few hesitant steps on her own.

As soon as she had stood, all on her own, he had watched her, always amazed when either of his siblings learned or discovered something new. He got over his amazement pretty quick when she had slowly put her right foot in front of her left, while she stared at the ground and furrowed her brows. As soon as her foot landed on the grass, she had looked at him.

Yakko's face had split into a grin, and he began to applaud her, laughing and encouraging her to take another step, while she tried to bounce in her own happy baby way.

Unfortunately, her balance wasn't that good yet, and she almost took a tumble backwards. He had caught her of course; he had learned to keep an eye out for unsteady balance over the years.

Crouching directly behind her, he helped her stand up again and waited while she took another step. She ended up taking three more before she almost fell again, but Yakko was ecstatic; his baby sis was walking on her own – she'd get better in time.

Leaning on the crib rail, one hand propping up his head, he watched her sleeping for a few seconds; eyes closed, thumb planted firmly in her mouth, rhythmic breathing barely moving her chest, every now and then a flick of an ear or the tip of her tail.

With a small smile, he left to go back into the living room. Sitting back down on the couch, he glanced at the flower, and felt the grin slowly leaving his face.

That thing again.

Holding the flower, he looked at it. Sighing, he stood up, holding it in his right hand. With a shrug, he felt around behind him, looking for the tell-tale cool spot and fold that signaled that he had found the hammerspace. He had a bit of a shock; he found it and was able to immediately slip the flower in, feeling the slight breeze tugging at the petals and his glove.

What the hell was that about? He had been searching for it for three days.

He let go of the flower, and felt it whisked away. Removing his hand, he took a glance at his glove, it was coming out clean.

Now, could he remove the flower on demand?

Sighing and straightening out, he reached behind and immediately felt the fold; he reached in, grimacing but envisioning the flower, and felt it thrust into his hand. It felt weird; harder, but he pulled it out to look at it, grinning, thinking maybe the chill in the hammerspace had done something. He felt his grin melt away to confusion – the flower was now a flute.

Confused and frightened, he dropped it on the floor like it had burned him. What was going on? He blinked and looked; it was the flower. Inhaling, he crouched down to look at it; same stupid flower, cheery and bright, with it's big yellow plastic petals shining in the sunlight streaming in the windows.

He hesitantly reached his hand out and, with his trembling first finger, touched it; it felt slightly cool still, but was quickly warming up to room temperature. He picked it up and examined it again with narrowed eyes; it looked exactly the same as when Goose gave it to him.

If he didn't know better, he'd just 'Fritzed' - turned one object not needed into another object that was needed in his hammerspace. One of the highlights of having Schlesinger Syndrome.

Curious, he stood and put the flower back into his hammerspace; at least it went in with no fuss this time. He waited a minute, thinking about the flute, and reached back in to retrieve it. After groping around for a second, his fingers found something, and he pulled it out.

It was the flower again. He snorted and put it back in the hammerspace - he hadn't 'Fritzed' - he was seeing things.

He was a nut. He stood up, shook his head, and went back to the bedroom. Apparently, Wakko wasn't the only one who needed a nap.

XXXXXXXXXX

He hated being roused up out of his sleep quickly. He often was with a baby and a toddler around, but he still didn't like it. They both had an excuse though; they didn't know any better. He could take comfort that eventually, his siblings would grow out of those phases and he might be able to wake up comfortably on his own.

Unfortunately, his parents didn't have an excuse; they were just inconsiderate.

Scrunching his face up as he was shocked out of his sleep, he cocked up one ear; in the outside hallway he could hear yelling, coughing, the angry protests of other tenants, the sound of something wet hitting the floor…

Sighing and leaning up on his elbows, removing Dot's fist from his ear as he did so, he leaned over to look at the clock on the floor; 4:27 A.M., coming home on the day they were supposed to be leaving. Why was he not surprised?

Wishing his parents would try showing up at a normal hour for a change, he laid back down, pulled his snoring siblings closer to him, and crossed his fingers that his parents would be good enough to try to come into the apartment quietly.

A guy could hope.

His hopes were dashed as the front door slammed open, and he winced when he heard a plate break in the kitchen.

"Damn it - Yakko - get the hell out here!"

Never having been summoned like that before, Yakko almost bounced out of bed.

Grabbing his pants, he quickly threw them on as he climbed over Wakko, who was starting to wake up.

Yakko quickly pulled the cover back over Wakko and moved Dot closer to the middle of the bed as his father yelled for him again.

Stumbling and rubbing sleep from his eyes, he opened the door and trotted to the living room. His father was in the room, half carrying, half dragging Ophelia, who was mumbling incoherently.

His father quickly slammed the door closed with his foot, then turned to glare at him.

"What are you looking at stupid - help me get her into bed!"

Spurned into action by his father's demand, Yakko ran forward to grab his mother's right arm and slung it around his shoulder, staggering under her weight and almost knocked over by her unsteady gait. Leaned over like she was, Yakko was stepping on her long green dress, and he tried to stagger and kick the hem out from under his feet at the same time.

Giving his father a worried look, he began to walk back to his parents' bedroom when he heard his own bedroom door open. Pausing, he looked down to see a stunned Wakko.

"Go back to bed Wak."

Wide-eyed and frightened, Wakko stared back at him.

"Get the hell back in there dope!"

Wakko quickly closed the door as Slacko dropped Ophelia's arm and made a move toward him. Yakko started falling to the floor under his mother's dead weight, and Slacko grabbed her arm again, yanking her up.

"He's not a dope Dad," Yakko said, steadying himself and starting to stagger into the bedroom. Turning sideways to get through the door, he flicked the light switch on and added, "He's just scared."

"I'll give him something to be scared of." Slacko muttered, dropping the side of Ophelia he was holding onto the bed. Yakko lifted her arm up and set it down with more gentleness than Slacko had done.

Yakko looked at his father, and almost smirked; he had a busted lip again. He wondered who he had pissed off now.

Trying to hide the smirk, he instead turned to look at his mother. Sprawled on the bed, legs hanging over the side, upper half draped across the bed, he moved forward to position her correctly, and roll her on her side. He'd done this before.

"Leave her there," Slacko directed.

"Dad, I have to, if I don't, she could choke on her own –"

His words were cut off as his father smacked him across the face with enough force to make him fall a few steps backwards into the wall. Head reeling, he turned to glare at his father, hand going up to the spot on his head that hit the wall.

"I said leave her; her dieing would probably be the best thing that happened to me in awhile. She's not drunk anyway."

Not drunk? She couldn't even walk. Yakko narrowed his eyes slightly at his father; he didn't like where this was going, and he certainly didn't like leaving her face down on the bed; if she got sick, she could drown in her own vomit.

"She's found a new drug." At Yakko's look, he said, "Don't ask; I don't feel like discussing it. I have to go sleep on the couch now I guess – I'd have problems sleeping next to a corpse."

_Dad has such a way with words_, he thought.

Father and son raised their ears at the cries of a baby wailing for 'Yakky'.

"Take care of that damn brat will ya? I already have a headache." Slacko said gruffly to Yakko.

"You're not the only one now," Yakko muttered. He was pretty sure he was going to have a brain contusion from his father's hit.

Seeing his father's raised eyebrow, he decided to make a hasty exit. Giving his father a slight nod, he turned and left the room to check on his siblings. He felt his father's eyes watching him as he disappeared into his own bedroom.

Closing the door with his foot, he waited a second in the semi-darkened room, then looked down at the bed, where a sobbing Dot cuddled up to a terrified Wakko. Both in the middle of the bed, watching him. Yakko sat on the bed and picked up Dot in one arm, while holding the other out for Wakko, who quickly crawled across the bed to curl up with him.

"Yakko, what's –"

"Shhhhhhh, I don't know Wakko; Mom's just really sick right now. She'll be fine." _I hope so anyway_, he thought.

Glancing at the crack in the door, he saw his parent's light go out. He heard his father stagger out of the bedroom and banging into the wall and cursing, go into the living room. A large flopping sound told him that his father was successful in finding the couch.

Dot was slowing her crying; apparently with Dad no longer hollering and him holding her, she was calming down.

"But-"

"Hush Wakko; come on, lets get you two back to sleep, OK?"

Sleepy and scared, Wakko let himself be laid back down. Dot was softly sniffing, but was no longer wailing. He laid her down beside Wakko, and she turned toward her other brother, whimpering.

Yakko stood up and looked toward the door; he had left it cracked, and he could see very little light coming from the living room or the bedroom where his mother was currently passed out; just a little sliver of shine from the lights outside the windows. He very slowly and silently crept toward the door, placing his hand on the knob. He didn't care what Dad said, he was going to position her correctly.

"Yakko!"

He jumped and turned at the sound of his brother's voice, now a hoarse sob.

"Yakko don't leave us!"

His brother's panicked tone caught his attention as much as his words. He kneeled on the floor next to the bed, reaching for his brother's smaller hand in the dim light. Wakko was sitting up on his knees, clutching Dot.

"I'm not leaving you guys Wak – I'm just going to check on Mom. OK?"

"Can I come?"

"No, I need you to stay here with Dot – can you do that for me?" He did not need to see Mom in this condition; let him think he was helping by staying with his sister. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw Wakko nod his head. "I'll be right back, OK?"

Wakko nodded again, sitting back and pulling Dot along to sit between his legs. Wakko watched him with scared eyes, and Yakko gave him a small smile. Yakko nodded and stood, going back to the door. Still no sounds from the other side.

Grasping the knob, he slowly opened the door, wincing at the creaking noise. Sticking his head out, he could hear his father snoring on the couch; squinting, he could see his feet hanging off the end.

Swallowing nervously, he turned to look at Wakko quickly. He was still curled in the middle of the bed, facing him, holding his sister.

Yakko gave him a thumbs up, and then silently crossed the hallway, pushing open his parents' door. Pausing again, he continued to hear his father's snoring; so far so good.

He entered the room, feet making no sound as he crossed the carpet. Tripping over a bottle, he almost fell across the bed with his mother. Muttering a curse, he stopped for a second as the throbbing sensation in his left toe subsided, and he continued to his mother.

Being guided by only the moonlight coming in through the window and the flashing neon sign of the strip club across the alley, he grabbed his mother's arm, and began to turn her over. He was surprised at the ease he had in doing this. His hand slipped and he lost his grip, accidentally touching her side. He jerked his fingers away, then, with a bit of trepidation, touched her side again. He was able to feel every rib. Feeling her arm again, he could tell she had lost weight; a lot of weight.

Worried, he finally was able to roll her over, and he took a good look at her face, trying not to breath in the scent of vomit and whiskey. She was thinner, her face more angular, eyes beginning to sink.

With a sad shake of his head, he pushed and pulled her so that she was on the bed correctly, and turned her head so that when she got sick, she wouldn't inhale it back in.

Looking at her for a second, he shook his head again and headed back to his bedroom, curious what his father had meant about a new drug. Mom sure looked like she was on her usual drug of choice to him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ya finally found it? Damn, I got a kid that is actually showing some promise of potential."

Wow, the rare compliment from Dad.

"I found it Saturday before last - you know, Dot's birthday?"

"Eh, not bad. Might make something out of you yet," Dad replied, lighting a cigarette and totally ignoring his comment about Dot's birthday.

Yakko sighed and used his foot to move the ashtray closer to his father as he watched him flick his ash on the floor. Slacko smirked, and flicked another ash again on the floor, this time knocking part of the flaming cherry off as well. Yakko watched it burn yet another small hole in the carpet with a dark look.

Geeze, they just couldn't have nice things.

"You been practicing those flourishes like I showed you?"

Yakko nodded.

"Let's see then."

Yakko, not really feeling like putting on a show for his father, snorted and pulled the deck out of his pocket. He ran through the card flourishes, while his father watched with emotionless eyes. When he finished, his father nodded. He thought his father looked pleased, but it was hard to say; he didn't see the look on his face very often.

"Not bad." He stood and walked into the kitchen. "Come on, I haven't got all day."

Yakko rolled his eyes; more stupid card shuffling. He followed though; he had a feeling he didn't have much choice.

Slacko sat at the table in Yakko's usual seat, while Yakko took Wakko's chair, moving the phone books to the counter. Sitting down, scooting the chair away from him as far as he was able to and not make it too obvious, he watched as his father leaned in toward him.

Yakko tried not to cringe too much; what was he doing now? However, no hit was forthcoming; instead, his father made a motion, and pulled a card from behind his ear.

"Whatcha think of that?" he asked him.

_Not much_, Yakko thought.

Stupid parlor tricks. More of the dumb things he did when he was a street magician apparently. And he was going to teach him; oh for fun.

"That's great Dad."

"It's better than you think. Check your pockets."

Yakko frowned, but did so. Panicked, he checked again, pulling them inside out this time. Everything in his pocket was gone; his eleven dollars and his second pack of cards.

He looked up and saw Slacko holding his money and cards with a very pleased smile on his face. Cute, he could pick the pocket of an eight-year-old; he was a regular Fagin.

"Can I please have my stuff back?" He asked a bit testily, holding out his hand.

"No idea I had it, did you?"

His father smirked at him while looking at his outstretched hand, and finally handed over the objects much to Yakko's relief. Eleven dollars wasn't much, but he had to do quite a bit of scrimping to save it. Wakko's birthday was coming up; he still had to find a present for him, though he had no idea what to get him; he didn't have any more stuffed animals.

Yakko quickly put the money in his back pocket, hoping it would be out of reach of his father's quick fingers.

"You need to pay attention kid - what if I had decided to keep it?"

_Then you'd be an even bigger jerk than I think you are_, he thought.

Out loud, he said, "I don't know, I didn't expect to get robbed in my kitchen."

_Though I should have in this house_, he added silently.

"Could teach ya, if you're interested."

Yakko smirked; what good would learning any of this be? Then what Goose said came back into his head.

_No matter what the subject, even if you think it's the most useless bit of knowledge in the world, not even worth your time learning, learn it anyway. Who knows when it could come in handy? Just use common sense when you decide to use that knowledge._

"Why would I want to learn how to do that?"

"Because I want to pass my skills down to my oldest son." He must have noticed Yakko's look, because he gave a rough laugh and said, "Ok, seriously, there's nothing wrong with having a backup plan, is there?"

"Backup plan? What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it; now watch."

Yakko pursed his lips together, but watched, while his father kept talking. Why he was talking about the piano, he didn't know. It was distracting the hell out of him, mostly because it was interesting…

He felt a sharp slap across his face, and the next thing he knew he was sitting on the floor, while his father was standing over him with an annoyed look on his face.

"You weren't watching."

_What the hell just happened?_

"I told you to watch."

"Watch what?" Damn; he gingerly touched his left cheek. It stung, but he was fairly certain that he hadn't knocked any teeth loose.

"My hands dumbass. You got distracted by the prattle."

His father held his hand out to help him off the floor. Yakko ignored it and stood on his own. His father was nuts; his mother was nuts. He could only hope insanity didn't run in the family bloodline. He crossed his fingers; maybe it would skip a generation or something.

"Prattle - what's that?"

"The distraction. I could have picked the shirt off your back while I was talking."

"It wouldn't fit you," he muttered.

His father smirked.

"Sit back down, and this time watch my hands."

He did, and he was definitely going to watch them this time; he wasn't giving him a chance to hit him again; his head couldn't take it.

"Now remember - watch my hands; you'll have to practice this a lot. I didn't have to practice too much of course; I'm a natural at this. I'm not holding as much hope for you, but I think you'll be able to do it in time." His father was talking and shuffling cards, going though many fancy shuffles, some of which Yakko had never seen him do before.

"Remember, always watch the hands, no matter what the mouth is saying, it's just distraction."

"Pick a card," his father ordered, snapping the deck together and holding it out to Yakko.

He shrugged and picked a card, looking at it - The Jack of Spades.

"It's the -"

"I didn't tell you to inform me of what it is. Put it back, face down."

He put it in the middle of the deck, and watched as his father began shuffling again.

"Was it this?" His father pulled a card from the bottom of the deck - the Jack of Spades.

Yakko nodded. Fairly impressive he supposed.

Maybe he should learn some of the tricks; he could entertain the kids at the library with them.

Well, no he couldn't; 'Puddles' big feathery wings probably wouldn't allow for really good maneuverability. Well, maybe someday he would get a costume that would allow him to use his hands.

"Did you watch my hands?"

His father was holding up the Jack of Spades again.

"Yeah, I did, but I didn't see -"

"Well, you're not supposed to, are you? Wouldn't be a very good trick if you could spot what I'm doing."

Yakko supposed that was true. If you could tell what they were doing, it really didn't make for an impressive magician. Didn't tell him how he did it though.

"Just watch my hands."

Yakko watched as he took the card, and put it into the deck again. His father, still talking about something, was trying to do the move slowly. This time, Yakko totally blocked his father's talking out, and concentrated solely on his hands, watching everything. He was finally able to spot what he did; keeping his thumb on the card, he let it ride the bottom of the shuffle. His father continued to shuffle the cards, still talking, his thumb holding the card down against his palm, out of sight. After a minute of constant shuffling, it appeared that the cards were all jumbled up. His father released his thumb, the card slipped back onto the bottom, and he pulled it back out.

"See what I did?"

Yakko nodded. Pretty neat.

"It's called palming - very useful, and a basis for most card tricks, amoung other things. Practice that maneuver. Do it in front of a mirror; that way you see what the audience sees, and you can tell where you screw up. Hurry up and learn it; soon as you do, I can teach you a lot more tricks, more impressive that that one."

Great; he was going to be in the bathroom for hours standing in front of a mirror.

"I'm going out - your stupid mother will probably sleep the rest of the damn day I'm thinking, what she's been doing."

Yakko looked at him again. What was going on with her?

"I'll explain it later, when I feel like it. She's the reason I have this," he said, pointing to his busted lip. "Doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut."

His father stood and walked out of the kitchen. "When she wakes up, we'll probably be leaving again. Dumb bitch or not, we still have to work, and make up for the time we lost because of her."

_Whoa._

Yakko definitely wanted to know what was going on. His father's mood seemed to have turned sour again though, so he wasn't asking. He'd find out sooner or later.

He heard the door slam, and his father walking down the hallway, whistling.

He stood and walked out of the kitchen. Passing his bedroom, he looked in; Dot and Wakko were still asleep, it was only three o'clock. He guessed Mom was still passed out; the door was closed and no sound was coming from the room.

He still had around another hour before his sibs woke from their nap. He had already read all his books, picked out the story for the week - Rapunzel - cleaned up the house as much as he was going to, and dinner was going to be ham sandwiches.

He reached into his hammerspace, concentrating, and removed the flower again. He had done it several times over the week, and had not seen it change again. He must have been overly tired that day.

Shrugging, he returned the flower and went into the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror. Might as well practice he supposed. Dad seemed awfully anxious for him to learn this trick.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko gritted his teeth as he watched Wakko run down the sidewalk in front of him. This had been a hectic couple of weeks, and his brother was skating on thin ice at this point.

"Wakko - get near that street one more time and you're going to be sorry."

Wakko took another step toward the street, and Yakko gritted his teeth. His brother had to be trying to pluck his nerves; it was the only logical explanation.

Moving Dot to his left arm, he juggled the books and stared at Wakko until he figured he couldn't wait any longer and walked to grab him; he was almost in the street again.

Yanking him back by his collar, he dragged him back to the sidewalk. "What did I say? Stay out of the street."

"I want to see what's over there," he replied, pointing across the intersection. "There's lots of stuff!"

"Imagine what's over there. We're not going." Yakko glanced across the street, seeing four toons standing on the corner. As a car slowly drove over and stopped. A tiger toon wearing a baseball cap got in the car for a second, then hopped right back out as the car drove off. He had a feeling he knew what was over there; the neighborhood dealers. Just what an almost four-year-old needed to see.

"But I want to -"

"No."

Wakko kicked him, and Yakko almost dropped Dot he was so surprised; his kicks were getting harder. Tempted to kick him back, he crouched down to get to Wakko's level.

"I've told you before, don't kick me Wakko."

"Let me go!"

He had been dealing with this the last week or so - if Wakko kicked him again, he simply could not be held responsible for his actions. Both his shins were getting bruises; he actually saw a few slightly purple blotches under his fur last night when he was taking a shower.

"Remember what I said Wakko - stay out of the street. I'm tired of chasing you into it. You've been warned."

Wakko stuck his tongue out at him, but since it wasn't hurting his shins, he chose to ignore it, instead going over the last week in his head.

Last Saturday, he had informed Goose of his little flower into flute trick. She had seemed delighted. She had also informed him that until he got a lot more practice, he was going to be very spotty on what came out when; she was right. In the last week, the flower had been a baseball, a paddle, a stick, and a teddy bear, among other odd objects, and all of which had disappeared within seconds of appearing, and turning back into the flower.

She also informed him that in time, he would not need one object to turn into another; he would be able to pull the needed object out of nothing in the hammerspace, much like Bugs Bunny or any of the other animated idols. But, that would come with a bit of age and experience, as would having it stay in the form it came out in for longer than eight seconds, though she told him that anything toon created only lasted an hour or so. She had given him the little task of keeping a list of what item was coming out of the hammerspace at what time for the last two weeks.

He thought it was a waste of time really - the few times he had reached back into the hammerspace to see what popped out, it had been something totally odd or worthless; a couple of times, totally unrecognizable.

He remembered, two days ago, Wakko was wandering too far out of sight at the park while they were there; he was reaching into his hammerspace at the time, practicing, while Dot was watching him and trying to eat the grass.

While he called to Wakko to come back closer, he looked at Dot and pulled a bottle of mustard out of his hammerspace. He looked at it in shock; he supposed he could put it on the grass for her. However, it disappeared in seconds, turning back into the flower, and Dot had laughed at him. He was certain she was laughing at him too - she even pointed her finger at him while doing it.

He had sighed and pulled out the piece of paper and the pencil nub he had started to carry with him, and made a note of what it was and when it happened.

Looking up, Wakko had not come back; if anything, he had wandered further off to the right. Calling for Wakko again, he reached back, wondering what was going to come out now. This time he pulled a piece of rope. Well, maybe it would be useful; he could lasso Wakko.

Laughing to himself, he looked up again, and felt his heart skip before going into a faster beat than normal. He snatched Dot off the grass, ignoring her startled yelp and ran in the direction he had last seen Wakko. He was gone, again - slipped right out from under his nose.

Panicked and annoyed, he spent a couple of heart pounding minutes searching every bush, trashcan, and tree in the place while calling his brother's name, hoping and begging mentally for him to answer.

He finally found him on the other side of the park, about to walk out the gate leading to the street. Wakko claimed he 'forgot' he wasn't supposed to get out of sight.

Heart still racing from the latest misadventure, he warned him if he 'forgot' and wandered off again or failed to answer when he called he was going to get a couple of swats on his rear end to help him remember.

He had then grabbed Wakko's hand and led his shocked brother out of the park, going home earlier than usual. His brother had started to put up the usual fuss, but quieted at Yakko's look. Then he had to unhand Wakko to pull his list of "what appeared out of the hammerspace today" out of Dot's mouth. She had managed to bite off the top left corner, and Yakko had to laugh at her look of disgust when she began to chew - she apparently was not going to have the affinity that Wakko had for trying to eat strange objects. Half the walk home she was hanging her tongue out of her mouth and using her little hands to attempt to wipe the taste off of it, all while saying 'Yucky Yakky'.

This Saturday, he had sort of given Goose a half-hearted shrug when he handed her the list. He constantly had two small children with him; she couldn't expect spotless paper could she?

All in all though, she had seemed pleased. She congratulated him on the poems and jokes he managed to cobble together to entertain the masses, and decided to give him a new assignment, and one he found a lot more practical than keeping a list of odds and ends.

She wanted him to continue to attempt to pull something worthwhile out of his hammerspace depending on his situation, but to also try to be able to carry the library books he rented today in his hammerspace by next Saturday.

Well, he would be happy with that; it would free up one of his hands. He only rented four books, two of them children's books; he needed to start working with Wakko on his reading - he turned four next Saturday.

Speaking of which…he sighed. He still had no idea what to get the little goober. Watching his brother pick up something off the sidewalk, he sped up to find out what he had now. Yesterday he tried to eat a caterpillar he found on the window sill.

"Wak, put it down and come on; we have to get to the store."

"I want to keep it."

It was a bottle cap. The things this kid could find to entertain himself with.

"You probably want to eat it. Jeeze, Ok, fine, keep it, but lets get going." Dot was starting to get fussy. He put his hand on her forehead; she didn't feel hot. Probably just needed her nap.

Wakko dropped the cap and it went rolling down the sidewalk. He took off after it as Yakko yelled for him to stop.

Did he listen to him? No, of course not.

Wakko turned his head enough that Yakko knew he heard him, but didn't slow his pursuit of the escaping cap.

_Unbelievable._

Wondering how many times his heart was going to be able to sustain this type of shock before it just gave out, Yakko hurried to catch him; he was running into the intersection of Tish and Tash.

Yakko let out a short bark of a scream as Wakko ran into the street. He barely avoided getting hit by a blue two-door hooptie that sped by, horn honking and some toon's arm hanging out the window giving Yakko the bird, and landed on the sidewalk on the other.

Most shockingly, he turned and looked at Yakko again and began to run off.

Yakko was in hot pursuit, clutching Dot with his left arm, hoping that he didn't get hit himself - this was one of the busier intersections in Plympton; luckily he had the light to cross, unlike his brother, who had decided to take his own little self-guided tour of the drug corridor. Dot seemed to be less fussy though; if anything, she appeared to be having a good time, clutching his ear and squealing into it with a smile on her face.

He didn't think about it; he shoved his books back into his hammerspace as he was halfway across the street, feeling them get sucked into the void as he reached the sidewalk.

His eyes still on Wakko, he managed to catch up with him quickly; long legs were a definite advantage when chasing little ones. Out of breath, he grabbed Wakko's arm and dragged him over to an alley, planning on giving him one heck of a lecture, as soon as his chest stopped hurting and he could breathe again.

Wakko apparently had other plans. Screaming, Wakko started kicking at Yakko as soon as he grabbed him. Leaning against the building, still holding his kicking sibling, he rested his head against the building for a moment, feeling the rough bricks digging into his back, and closed his eyes for a second.

"No, let go!" Wakko kicked him with as much force as an almost four-year-old could call forth.

Surprisingly, that was a lot of force; Yakko felt his foot connect with his shin, and could practically feel yet another bruise starting to form.

Wiggling free, Wakko glared up at him, and then turned and started to walk off as Yakko watched him in shock.

"Wakko, get back here _now_!"

Wakko turned to look at him then kept going.

_Oh, that's it._

Still holding Dot, he grabbed Wakko before he got three steps by his left arm. Spinning him around, he delivered three swats to his rear end.

Spinning Wakko back to face him, he said, "What did I say before - stay out of the street - come back when I call - and don't you ever kick me again."

Eyes filling with tears and lower lip trembling, Wakko managed to wail out "Yaaaaaaaaakkooooooo," before bursting into tears.

"I warned you. Now come on."

He grabbed Wakko's hand and marched the weeping child down the street, trying to ignore his crying and demands for Yakko to unhand him. In between all that, Yakko also managed to pick out his name and meanie in between Wakko's sobs, and he rolled his eyes.

"Hush Wakko. I warned you what would happen if you went into the street again."

Yakko looked around; he had never paid much attention to this side of the street. Most of it looked abandoned; an open liquor store, an exotic clothing store, a few empty store fronts, a paint store, another empty building, a couple of bars.

So, pretty much the same as their side of the street.

While Wakko had managed to blunder his way across the street without getting crunched like a bug, they were going to have problems getting back - traffic was getting heavy again. They were going to have to wait for the light to change again.

As Wakko continued crying, Yakko tried to ignore him. He had asked for it; he had warned him, repeatedly, about the street and wandering off, not to mention his newly acquired taste for ignoring everything he said.

Though now Wakko was mad at him, and he had always struggled to not have his little sibs mad at him…

Yakko shook his head. No, he did the right thing - they lived in a dangerous place, and the street was not the only worry - Wakko needed to learn to listen to him. He was going to get killed one of these days if he didn't.

Yakko scanned the street; why was it taking the light so long to change? His eyes scanned the street again, hoping that no one was paying attention to them, though with the racket Wakko was making, he didn't have much hope for that. Luckily the group making up the neighborhood pharmacy had moved to another corner when Wakko had started screaming.

His eyes caught a movement, and he saw a sign: _Heavy Traffic Video Sales and Rentals_. He thought the building was abandoned; but he was watching a shifty looking man exit the store, clutching his brown paper wrapped parcel like Wakko clutched his bunny when he was upset. He frowned; what did they sell in there that was exciting enough to clutch to one's chest? Another man was entering the store, pulling his cap low and wrapping his coat tightly around him.

A video rental store; Yakko was sort of excited. They only owned nine movies, and they had watched them so many times they were practically memorized. Being able to rent a different movie, even once a week, would be a real treat.

He started when he thought of something else - Wakko's birthday was in a week, and he had been stressing over what to get him. Wakko had been flipping through one of Yakko's Marx Brother's books with him, and had seen pictures and still shots of some of their other movies, and had said a few times he wanted to see that one movie. If he could find another one of their films there and could buy it…

He briefly looked down at his brother, who was still crying softly, holding his hand, while Dot was looking down at him, frowning and waving at him. He was annoyed with him at the moment, but he really loved the little guy - and if a movie would make him happy, well, a movie he shall get.

He wasn't going today though; he was tired, Wakko was misbehaving, and Dot was starting to get fussy again; he could tell - she had now decided to ignore Wakko, and was currently twisting his left ear, and reaching for the right one. They both needed their naps; he was debating on taking one himself at this point.

He mentally snapped his fingers; there was a payphone outside the grocery store – he could call the video store, see if they even could order a movie, and what the cost would be. He looked again at the store, noting the phone number on the sign, and nodded. He could remember the number.

The light finally changed, and he continued to lead his weeping sibling across the intersection, and trying to ignore the other one, who had decided to try Wakko's method of torture and was currently kicking him in the ribs.

He almost stopped in the middle of the street when he realized something - the books - he had shoved them in his hammerspace. No thinking, no concentrating, nothing. Damn - he remembered what Goose had said about taking things slow, building up - and the whole worry about damaging the opening. He was worried; he had shoved them in pretty hard; he had panicked. He could only hope that he had not done any permanent damage.

He tried to push the thought out of his mind as he finally spotted the grocery store ahead.

Wakko had pretty much stopped crying, though he was still sniffing. Stopping outside the store, he let go of Wakko's hand and knelt down to his level, moving Dot back to his left shoulder. She had fallen asleep after the little adventure, and had drooled all over his right shoulder; he figured it was time for the left shoulder to get a bath.

"What did I say before?" He waited several seconds, and when Wakko didn't answer, began to grow more annoyed. "Wakko…"

"Not to run off," he mumbled.

"And?"

"Answer when you called."

"And what did I say was going to happen if you didn't?"

"I'd get a spanking."

"Right. With those facts fresh in your mind, did you deserve it?"

Wakko wouldn't look at him, but finally nodded his head.

"Look at me." Wakko raised his head up to look at him. "Wakko, I'm not doing this to be mean."

"Are too," he mumbled.

Yakko rolled his eyes. "Wakko, I've told you a hundred times; stay out of the street. You've got to learn to listen to me once in a while. What's gonna happen if you keep running into the street, huh? You're going to get hit by a car – you almost did! If you run off, and I can't find you, well how do you think that would make me feel?"

He watched as Wakko shrugged.

"I'd feel terrible - my little brother getting squashed in the street or lost because I didn't do my job. And what about Dot - how would I explain to her that her other brother was gone because I was an awful big brother?"

Wakko shrugged again, and Yakko hugged him.

"Look, just try to work with me, OK?"

Wakko was trying to push away from the hug. "Don't touch me - I'm mad at you!"

"I'm sure I'll survive. I'm trying to keep you safe, right?"

He let go and instead reached out to put his finger on Wakko's little red nose. "You're going to give me a heart attack if you keep this up. You want to do that?"

Wakko looked thoughtful, scrunching his face up as he thought, but eventually shook his head no and returned the hug, muttering sorry.

"Fine, you're forgiven. Come on," he said, standing up and taking his hand. "I have to make a phone call. If you'll behave, I'll buy you a soda, deal?"

Once again, the lure of liquid candy got his brother's attention, and Wakko nodded, giving him a small smile and hanging his tongue out of his mouth.

The pay phone was near the soda machine. Yakko put the money in the machine, opening the soda and sitting Wakko on the bench outside the doors, still directly in his sight, but far enough away that he shouldn't be able to hear the conversation.

"Stay there; don't move off that bench."

Hoping his warning was enough, he handed Wakko the soda, which he began to drink. He just knew he was going to regret that bribe - a hyperactive Wakko loose in the grocery store - what had he been thinking?

He shook his head - he couldn't take it back now. Maybe he would be lucky and be able to pull a leash out of his hammerspace that would last longer than twenty seconds.

Yakko dialed the number. The phone rang several times before the clerk picked up.

Speaking to the clerk for two minutes told him the video store specialized in slightly more 'adult' videos then he had been looking for.

The man was pleasant enough though, probably hoping to please a future customer; after all, little boys grew into randy, curious teenagers at some point, and agreed to do a search and call a couple of friends for the video he wanted, and he gave Yakko instructions to call him back at the end of the following week, Thursday or Friday.

Yakko was delighted that the man was willing to go out of his way to help, no matter what his thinking may have been. If the clerk was able to find the movie, he would have a birthday present for Wakko.

He paid for that phone call though; Wakko was never going to have a soda before entering the grocery store again. Luckily the employees in the store had not made him pay for the two displays Wakko had knocked over, sending cans and papayas flying around the store. Nor did they even fuss too much about the two jars of salsa he had bumped off the shelf and broke on the floor when he had run headfirst into it.

The walk home was just as fascinating - while Wakko kept himself away from the street like it was the opening to hell itself, it didn't stop the screaming, hyperactive, laughing, burping display that he had become accustomed to.

Well, at least Wakko wasn't mad at him anymore.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Where we going?"

"Told you Wakko - I got to get your present."

"What is it?"

"You'll see it after your nap."

"It's my birthday - I wanna see it now."

Yakko laughed. "I don't even have it yet. Don't argue or I'll make you wait until tomorrow."

"Not fair," Wakko said. "My birthday's today."

"Hopefully it'll be worth the wait."

"It will! What is it? I know I'm gonna like it!"

Yakko smirked at him - he certainly hoped he liked it. He put the library books in his hammerspace; luckly, he had done no damage when he had forcefully shoved the books in last week in his madcap dash across the street. Goose had been pleased; he handled things well in a panicky state. She had told him today she wanted him to work one more week on 'Fritzing', and she would show him something new next week.

He called the store back when they had gone to the park yesterday, and had been delighted when the man told him he found a copy, used, but in good condition, and he only wanted eight dollars for it. It was going to eat up almost all of his savings, but he really wasn't in the position to argue.

Holding Wakko's hand, they waited patiently for the light to change, Wakko bouncing on his toes in excitement and spinning his head around to try to look at everything. Yakko supposed it probably was a little exciting to him, he rarely got to see anything new.

_At least he wasn't trying to run across the street again_, Yakko thought, suppressing a shudder at last weeks adventure, as the light changed and they continued on. He kept one eye on the dealers, but they didn't have any interest in three children.

Seeing the video store in front of him, Yakko stopped on the sidewalk outside. Watching a toon dog trying, unsuccessfully, to sneak in without being spotted, Yakko had another thought; did he want to drag his sibs into that type of store?

Damn, he hadn't thought about that. He mentally smacked himself in the head. He of course knew exactly what was in that store, and would hardly be shocked by it; he'd probably seen worse happen outside the strip club across the alley from home.

However, his two baby sibs didn't really need to be exposed to this.

He looked at Wakko, who was absolutely fascinated by this side of the street, and was looking around, now that he wasn't worried about being pursued by an angry brother. He looked in the gutters, checked out the trashcans, wondered outloud what the dealers were doing, and then stopped to look at the flyers and missing toon signs on the lightpost.

Yakko debated what to do; he really didn't want to bring him in; at the same time, he couldn't leave him on the street, not to mention Dot. He looked down at her in his arms; Dot was asleep, so he was not worried about her. Wakko though, was quite alert.

"Wakko, I need you to do me a favor."

Wakko, who had been watching a couple of teenagers smoking on the stoop of the abandoned building, turned to look at him.

"We're going in this store. I need you to close your eyes."

Wakko, who had looked thrilled to be going in a different store, looked heartbroken.

"But I want to see what's in there."

"Trust me, you don't want to."

Wakko opened his mouth to protest, and Yakko cut him off.

"Don't argue." He thought, then added, "If you don't close your eyes, I can't get your present."

He watched Wakko debate that statement in his head. Finally deciding a present was better than a sightseeing tour of a dingy store, he sighed and closed up his eyes tight, scrunching up his face as he did so.

"I can't see."

"That's the point. Here," he said, flicking his tail into his Wakko's hand. "Follow me."

He led Wakko into the store, feeling ridiculous, but at least no one could accuse him of trying to corrupt his mind.

Pushing open the door, he almost jumped at the large bell that sounded over the door.

Turning to make sure Wakko was still keeping his eyes closed, he went down the dimly lit corridor, watching dust particles dance in the sunlight coming in through a window high above.

Moving out of the path of an oncoming toon barreling down on him with several packages, Yakko headed to the back of the store, where he spotted a bored looking elephant reading a magazine beside the register. On the way, he couldn't resist looking at some of the titles himself, snickering at a few of them, and gaping in wonder at a couple - could they really do -

He broke off - if he was shocked, jaded eight-year-old that he was, he certainly didn't want to be in here too much longer. There was no guarantee that Wakko was going to keep his eyes closed for long. Behind a black iron safety gate, the elephant sat, legs kicked back on the counter, leaning back in his chair reading a magazine. He turned the page with his trunk, not even looking up at him.

Yakko cleared his throat a few times, and finally caught the man's attention. The toon looked at him, one eyebrow raised, glanced at Dot, spied Wakko with his eyes closed clutching Yakko's tail with both hands, and went back to his magazine.

"Can't be in here kid. Go away."

"I'm supposed to be here - I called about a movie."

"What movie? You the weirdo looking for 'Prosti-tots'?"

Yakko blinked. "Wha - no! A non- um - adult movie…I spoke to someone yesterday…mentioned it was for my brother's birthday…"

A look of understanding came over the elephant's face, and he grinned.

"Should have guessed - none of my other customer's would be looking for something this classy. Course most of my other customers come sneaking in hiding their faces too."

With a grin, the elephant reached under the counter and pulled out a black bag.

Yakko returned the grin, then turned to check on Wakko. His ears were cocked up, but he was still keeping his eyes closed, his face scrunched up so tight Yakko wondered if it was hurting yet.

"It's used kid, best I could do for you, especially on such short notice." He pulled it out to show Yakko, then quickly stuck it back in the bag, like it was something dirty and he was afraid one of his regular customers would see it.

"It'll be fine- thanks!" Yakko said as he handed the man the money, which he pocketed instead of putting in the register.

"Yeah, don't sweat it kid. Now get out of here - I'll lose my license if anyone sees the juvenile set in here." The elephant gave him another look. "Hope he likes it. Give me a call if you ever need any other movies like that; friend of mine said he found a few more around town."

Yakko gave the guy a grin. "Thanks mister."

He turned to leave the store as the elephant went back to his magazine.

Turning to head out of the store, Yakko slipped the movie out of the bag and looked at the box. He grinned at the cover - it was the exact same picture from the book that Wakko had looked through with him.

_Oh well_, he thought, _hopefully he'll like it; after all, A Night at the Opera was supposed to be their greatest movie._

End Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - The Backup Plan

_August 1989_

_Usually it's best if you're walking opposite ways, if ya come from behind him, it's too suspicious..._

"Oh wow - sorry mister! Jeeze, are you ok?"

_When the bump occurs, slide your hand right into the pocket and grab the goods..._

Yakko helped the little toon man stand from his shoulder hit, brushing off his coat as he did. Finished, he picked up the toon's paper as the man straitened his glasses.

_One fluid motion..._

"Quite all right son, accidents happen."

_You don't know the half of it._

Yakko handed the man back his newspaper. "Still sorry - see ya!"

_But hopefully not..._

With the instructions still ringing in his head, Yakko walked off calmly. He was in no hurry; if he looked like he was in a hurry it could attract unwanted attention.

He was coming up on Kahn's Bistro; looking through the last window, his gaze locked with a pair of black eyes, similar to his own, but older, harder, more appraising; he had been watching his every move. He grabbed the door handle and held it open as a toon, a large pig woman, came out.

Nodding to her, he walked inside, heading to the rear of the eatery that was doubling as a lookout station. Looking around, he noticed the place was mostly empty; a few toons sitting on the black stools at the bar; a couple in one of the booths, and finally, in the last booth, his father.

He picked up the pace; the sooner they got this done, the sooner he could go home. Every time he came out with his dad, he was worried about his siblings. Stuck at home, essentially by themselves; his mother didn't count.

He reached the booth and slid in, moving smoothly across the black pleather.

Sitting opposite his father, Yakko took a glance down at his dad's right hand, still wrapped in the large white bandage. A broken hand and two smashed fingers; the unfortunate side effect of getting into debt at the constant poker games at Snidely's place.

Dad had been trying to pay the back gambling debt, which was wise, considering who he was dealing with. At forty percent interest, it was taking awhile though.

Due to all the family troubles, Dad got slow on the payment a few weeks ago. Snidely had sent a few of his more 'persuasive associates' over to convince Dad that he needed to get back on track. A hammer to his right hand had indeed convinced him that he needed to get caught up on the payments. Unfortunately, a mangled hand hindered a piano player's ability to work. It didn't help a pickpocket's position either. He had lost both his careers with the first swing of the hammer.

Yakko snorted to himself - well, it explained why dad was so willing to share his knowledge with him before - unbeknownst to him at the time - he was the backup plan. His father knew there could come a time he may not be able to work, so he had Yakko as a little insurance against the lean times.

"You get it?"

"Yeah Dad," he replied, palming the wallet and sliding it across the table, watching his father grab it with his left hand. "Don't I always?"

"There was a couple of times..."

"My first two times out; you couldn't expect perfection - look at it as on the job training...and I did get away." Barely though - those guys had been pissed when they turned and saw Yakko standing there with their possessions. Thank goodness he was quick.

"You're getting better; it was hardly noticeable, what you were doing."

Awkwardly, he dropped the wallet in his lap and began to rummage through it as Yakko continued to eye him, not even blinking at the compliment.

"Only a hundred and three dollars," he said, disgusted. "This is the best you could do?"

_Like I could help what the poor sap had in his wallet._

"Added with the two hundred and eighty or so odd dollars I've gotten this week, it should be more than enough to pay your weekly due," Yakko said back. "Can we leave now?"

They were in the business district of ToonTown, and he was uncomfortably aware that they weren't exactly blending in. Dad's stained white t-shirt and jeans, along with his own blue collared shirt a size too big and faded jeans - also a size too big - were hardly blending in with the suit and tie wearing crowd around them.

"You're a selfish little bastard - your father's got a group of crazies chasing him down for cash, and you just want to go home to sit on your ass - probably to read."

"No, I want to go home because there's a four-year-old alone with a baby," he shot back. "I'm more worried about them."

Seeing his father's hand raise at him, he flinched but added coldly, "And don't forget - you hit me - you run the risk of me getting hurt and not being able to do your dirty work."

His father's hand lowered, and a sour look crossed his face. "You're putting a lot of faith into that argument. My hand will heal eventually."

Yakko leaned back in the booth, regarding his father. "Maybe, but you'll slip up sooner or later, get behind on the payments, or deeper into debt, and this," he waved his hand at his father's wrapped one, "will happen again. I'm not stupid Dad; I know exactly how this is going to work. Two thieves are better than one."

"What are you bitching about - you're helping your family out - you're always yakking about family."

Yakko sighed; he supposed that was true. "Do we have anything left over for Mom after you pay for the week? She still needs -"

"I know, I know! I don't need you reminding me! I was there, remember?" He mumbled, "Dumb bitch, she's the one who messed herself up -"

"You could have stopped her before all that started, but you didn't."

Slacko leaned across the table and grabbed Yakko's shirt front with his good hand.

"Don't blame me for that - how the hell should I have known what she was doing?"

"I figured the white rings around her nostrils would have clued you in." He looked at his father and smirked. "Let go Dad, you're attracting attention."

He was - two toons, cheetahs wearing business suits, were watching them from the lunch counter, eating their club sandwiches and flicking their long spotted tails. Slacko looked, and with a nasty grin to them unhanded Yakko's shirt, sitting back in the booth and fumbling for a cigarette.

"Keep the smart mouth up kid; like I said, my hand will heal."

Yakko slid out of the booth and stood. "I'm tired Dad, and I'm worried about Wakko and Dot. I need to go."

"I don't know what you're so damn worried about," his father said, sliding out of the booth and following his son up the aisle. "They're sleeping now - you're the one who came up with the stupid idea of having them sleep while you're out here."

"I came up with the idea of rearranging their sleeping schedules so I'd have less worries - if they're sleeping during the time I'm out with you, I don't have to worry about them getting hurt."

"Your Mom's there."

"Big deal - she can't take care of herself anymore."

"She couldn't do it before she discovered Twink," Slacko muttered, tossing the hapless toon's wallet in the gutter.

Making sure his father didn't see him, Yakko picked the wallet up, sliding it into his hammerspace to join the dozens already back there.

_Someday, I'll make this right,_ he thought, following his father up the street to the bus stop. They waited silently until the bus showed up, not looking at each other, lost in their own thoughts.

Yakko wasn't sure what his father was thinking, but he knew his own thoughts. Guilt, distaste, and, he admitted to himself with a little bit of embarrassment, pride. If nothing else, he was a talented pickpocket.

His father had even called him the Artful Dodger once in a rare moment of awe when Yakko had lifted a hefty wallet from one of the princes over on Tea Party Lane.

"Here."

Yakko looked up quickly at his father's voice, thinking that the bus had arrived. It hadn't, but his father was handing something out to him.

"What's this?" He took it, surprised and curious.

"A birthday present dumbass."

"Oh gee, you shouldn't have," he said, slightly touched.

But he really shouldn't have - every bit of money he spent on something that wasn't paying off his gambling debt or the hospital bills at ToonTown HVM was just that much longer that Yakko was going to have to be out here doing this distasteful job.

"It's late," his father muttered, "Better than nothing." He lit another cigarette and looked down the street.

"Thanks Dad," he muttered. He supposed it was the thought that counted, even if it was three days late. It was also the first birthday present he had ever received. He wished he had a calendar so he could mark the date.

Shrugging, he began to open the crudely wrapped package. He could already tell it was a movie wrapped in a plastic bag. Pulling it out, he almost rolled his eyes; another Marx Brother's movie - _Duck Soup_.

"I know you like them," Slacko muttered, still not looking at him. "And since you've been...you know..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. And I like them. Thanks."

Yakko looked at the box while waiting for the bus; if nothing else, he had really wanted to see this one. He was surprised his father had remembered really. It was supposed to be a real political farce, right up his alley.

The bus rounded the corner, a pink and white double-decker monstrosity, and Yakko quickly put the movie in his hammerspace and pulled a few quarters for the fare. He glanced at his father.

"You coming?"

"No - got some other stuff to do first. I'm sure you can find your way home."

"Yeah, I can." _Done it before, why would today be any different?_ "Don't forget the stuff for Mom - there's only a little -"

"Yeah yeah, you nag worse than a woman, I'll get her the shit. See ya around."

With that, he walked off, and Yakko watched him briefly, wondering if the other stuff to do was drinking or hitting the nearest casino.

"You getting on the bus or not?"

Yakko turned quickly to the driver, who was looking at him through the now open door.

"Yeah, sorry." He climbed the three stairs and threw his money in the fare box as the driver, a stork in a blue shirt and matching pillbox hat, closed the door.

He had a half hour bus ride home. He checked his watch; Wakko and Dot should still be asleep. Hopefully they would be waking up as he arrived near their home.

He settled his head back against the seatback, feeling the bulge made by the tape that covered a hole in the seat. He moved his head - the tape was sticking to his fur where it was starting to peel off - and thought about his little sibs.

Wakko and Dot were both growing so quick. Dot's vocabulary was getting pretty advanced, well, he thought so anyway, for an almost two year old - she knew about thirty words, the most popular being 'no', so she was following in her brother's footsteps.

She was starting to get around pretty well too - forwards and backwards - she could even hop on both feet now. Every now and then she took a tumble, but it was mostly on her butt, and the diapers seem to cushion whatever falls she took. He silently groaned - almost two - she'd probably be potty training soon; that was always a treat.

Well, at least her hair had pretty much grown back...

Yakko snorted quietly as he thought about his brother. Wakko was also developing quickly - too much so maybe. He had apparently decided to imitate everything that he saw Yakko do, whether he was supposed to do those things or not. The latest bit of imitation happened several weeks ago; having watched Yakko trim everyone's hair many times, he decided to try it, despite having been told before not to play with scissors or knives...

Wakko hadn't been able to reach the scissors, but he could reach the knives in the drawer by the sink. He had nearly scalped Dot before Yakko had come home. Yakko had almost had a minor stroke when he walked into the kitchen and saw his nearly bald sister sitting on the floor tossing her chopped off hair in the air like it was confetti, giggling and chanting 'party'.

He saw an extremely guilty looking Wakko behind her, biting his lip as he desperately tried to fix it. Strangly enough, he had been getting ready to staple the hair back on her head so he could try again. Upon seeing his horrified brother standing in the doorway viewing his sister's new 'Fudd-Cut', Wakko had tried to hide the knife and stapler behind his back and said he didn't know what happened. A few smacks on his bottom and a lecture on the dangers of knives - not to mention lying to him - had convinced Wakko to leave any future grooming requirements to Yakko.

But that incident was the last straw for Yakko; he had come up with altering the sleeping patterns of his siblings after that. He was afraid if he didn't, he'd come home to an earless sister, a thumb-less brother, or worse. His brother had an uncanny ability for finding trouble...

He was turning out to be a wiz at numbers though; he actually seemed to enjoy the simple math problems Yakko came up with for him. He wasn't as keen on the reading and writing - this afternoon he would probably have a problem getting him to sit down for a little while to work on it.

After fighting with him for a few weeks, he had hit upon the idea of bribing Wakko to sit and learn by showing him card tricks and shuffles as a reward, which he enjoyed.

What was almost scaring Yakko was the speed his brother was picking them up. If Yakko was good, Wakko was a prodigy. He was steadily moving his way though every shuffle and trick that Yakko knew.

He had not realized that Wakko had also been watching his father when he had been teaching him the fine art of lifting valuables out of people's pockets and purses. Wakko had been pestering him to teach him, but Yakko was reluctant to teach his younger brother how to be a thief, even if was turning out to be a family tradition.

Yakko snapped out of his musings by the bus stopping; he looked out the window; they were near the library now; two more stops and he'd be home.

As the bus lurched forward again, Yakko's thoughts turned toward his mother.

While he couldn't wait to get home to relax and check on his siblings, he hated going home to see her. He let out a small sigh; the alcohol wasn't bad enough, she had to screw herself up and start using 'Twink' too.

He recalled with a slight shudder the absolute horror he had felt a few months ago when his father had come in, yet again screaming for him in the middle of the night to 'get his ass out there and help him'. He had, and after dumping Mom on the bed, his father had stormed out of the house.

He had calmed his terrified siblings down, then went to check on his mother. As he was rolling her over, he noticed the white chalky rings around her nostrils. Touching one of the rings with a trembling finger and seeing the powdery residue come off on his gloves, he knew exactly what the 'new drug' his father had been complaining about for the last nine months was.

'Twink' was addicting and deadly for a toon; the solvents in it rotted a toon's mind and destroyed their heart, not to mention thicking their blink, the blood and ink mixture that ran in all toons veins. A mixture of whiteout and turpentine, once a toon was hooked on Twink, it was hell to kick the habit.

By the time Yakko knew what she was using, she was completely hooked. After several rather brutal vomiting attacks, where Yakko could see the dark red blink running from her nostrils, his father had taken her to ToonTown HVM, where they had confirmed what they both already suspected, hell, were even expecting.

The drug and alcohol abuse had gone on too long; she was dying from a combination of liver disease, a failing heart, and thicking blink. The most they could do now was keep her comfortable in her remaining time.

The hospital had told his father she only had about six months left. After several discussions, Mom had decided she wanted to come home, not seeing any point in staying in the hospital. Giving her a prescription for 'Balooafom', they had sent her home to spend her remaining months with her family.

Balooafom kept Mom comfortable and out of the most severe of the pain, but it was expensive; well out of their price range, even without any additional debts being laid on them. Between the gambling debts, Mom's hospital bill, and the Balooafom, the Warner's were even more broke than before, if that was even possible. Of course, they had gotten in even deeper when Dad was attacked for his slow payments, and the costs to stitch his hand had just added to the problems.

His father, annoyed, disgusted, and regretful, mostly stayed away from the apartment now. He did come back occasionally, mostly to check on the food supply and to drop off medicine for Ophelia, and of course to continue training Yakko in his new career path. It was also Yakko's new job to make sure his Mom got her medicine on time, and attempt to feed her, as well as making sure his siblings were taken care of.

His parents had lost their jobs when Ophelia had gotten too sick to work; Snidely wasn't known around ToonTown for being a forgiving sort. One look at Dad's hand told him that much.

Hence bringing him in on the family business; the bad part was that Yakko was proving to be very good at it; he doubted his father was going to want him to stop, even if they ever got the debts paid off.

The bus lurched to a hault; it was his stop. A block from home; if he jogged, he could be there in a couple minutes.

He stood and quickly made his way to the front of the bus, nodding to the driver as he hopped off. He headed north as the bus took a right to continue on to its next stop.

Yakko began to briskly walk home, and saw police cars at the end of the block.

Slowing, wondering what was happening now, he passed a group of toons talking. Lifting his ears slightly to catch what the group was saying, he picked up the words 'body', 'drugs', 'rocket'; apparently a body was at that decrepit rocket play-set.

Nice. That killed the plans of going there for the afternoon.

Just as well; he was tired, and he could play with Dot and get Wakko started on his reading again. He picked up the pace, arriving at the building several minutes later.

Climbing the stairs, he had to duck Mr. Olson as he tromped down the stairs, still muttering profanities under his breath. He waved to Mrs. Balmy, the crazy cat lady across the hall, watching as she began to scratch at her own door with her claws. Keeping one extremely leery eye on her, he pulled out his key and opened the door to their apartment.

Entering and closing the door behind him, he noticed it was very quiet; Wakko and Dot weren't up yet. Yakko walked silently down the hall, making sure to skip over the squeaky floorboard to look in on them.

Wakko was still curled in the middle of the bed, snoring quietly, while Dot, head on his stomach, was doing the same. Dot hadn't slept in her crib in months; sooner or later they were probably going to have to investigate getting her a bed of her own.

Yakko smiled at them, and then walked across the hall to his mother's bedroom to check on her.

Opening the door, wincing at the squeaking hinges, he stuck his head in. She was passed out still, an empty bottle resting on the pillow beside her.

Yakko shook his head; dying and she was still drinking.

Cursing his father for still bringing it to her, he walked in and grabbed the bottle to dispose of and left the room.

He was aware she didn't have much time left, but he wished she wouldn't squander what she did have with the drinking. He had said something to Dad about not bringing her anymore, but his request fell on deaf ears. More often than not, Dad brought her a cheap bottle of whiskey or whatever he could get his hands on at a good price.

He threw the bottle in the trash bag sitting in the middle of the floor and then headed back to the living room. He sat on the couch, and almost without thinking, reached behind him to his hammerspace with a small grin. It was almost second nature to him now, and pulled two of the five library books he had rented last Saturday - he still had to find a story for the week.

When his father had approached him about joining him on the family enterprise, he had wanted him to quit going to the library, stating that he could make more than twenty dollars a week doing this. He had even tried to pull a low blow and bribe him with the thought that he could afford to buy more things for his siblings with it. Saturdays could be a profitable day, if they hit the right places; he was willing to share the money.

Yakko, putting a rash abundance of faith in his father's injuries and his need of him, had told him no. While it had led to Yakko getting a smack in the mouth, it worked. His father had finally relented and agreed that Yakko could keep his silly little hobby, as long as he produced during the week while he was out with him.

Yakko knew he was no fool; at some point, he was sure that temptation would probably kick in, and he would start lifting wallets for money for himself; he had the skills to do it, so why should they do without? On the other hand, he did feel guilty for even thinking it. He had decided to just see how long he could hold out before caving.

He took no small amount of satisfaction in still being able to keep himself and his siblings fed on the money he actually earned. Of course his father was still supplementing with food as well, though those times were getting to be fewer and fewer. Yakko had the distinct impression that when his parent's had brought food home in the past it was mostly due to Mom's thinking, not Dad's.

Yakko had decided not to tell his father that he didn't keep the reading assistant job just for the money though - he had a feeling his father wouldn't understand.

It was a combination of a lot of things; he was earning his own money, legally, though the knowledge he gained from Goose alone was worth much more than that. While still a somewhat acidic old goat, he had to admit, he actually liked her.

She never pushed him to talk about his family situation, for which he was grateful. If he wanted to discuss something, she was there, but she never hounded him to talk about his personal life. She freely shared all her knowledge of toon theory, so much so that several times, when they had started discussing something, she ended up leaving late for her next session.

Because of her, he could not only use his hammerspace reasonably well for his age and length of study, he had a basic grasp of Fritzing, though nothing lasted longer than a minute. Twice now he had pulled an object out of thin air; a lei of flowers and a baseball, but they had disappeared within seconds. He had been able to Fritz a variety of objects, each getting more elaborate and larger with each assignment.

Currently his assignment was to Fritz a pie, just about a toon standard. She claimed it was easy, but he hadn't done it yet. The closest he had gotten lately was banana tart, and that was after several weeks of practice. The whole banana crème pie seemed beyond his grasp, but he kept plodding on, hoping that sooner or later, he would get that, just as he had managed to tackle and conquer every other assignment she set him to.

But mostly, he got a sense of satisfaction out of performing. After getting over his stage fright, and chastising himself for being scared in the first place, he found he actually was enjoying it, especially since she had finally ditched the 'Puddles' thing.

After she had discovered, quite by accident, that he knew several card tricks and had a talent for running his mouth, she had the next week brought in what he thought was an unusually ugly ringmasters costume. She had then dubbed him 'Yakko the Maestro' and grinned, thrusting the costume at him. He thought 'Puddles' was bad.

He had protested and fought of course.

He had threatened to quit.

He had told her she was a sadist to even think of making him do something like this.

He had even threatened to call the Society about her cruelty to her assistants.

She had been unmoved by his pleas, threats, and tantrums. She had simply smirked at him like she had done all those months ago when she first dumped the goose costume on him, and he once again took it.

Now he strutted around looking like a tool in a purple tuxedo and top hat, doing card shuffles and basic magic tricks, along with his usual singing and making jokes and occasionally suggesting books for the children to read. He also rented an ungodly amount of books dealing with magician's tricks and techniques. He had recently even made up a couple of tricks on his own. He was unusually proud of that.

Since his change from 'Puddles' to 'Yakko the Maestro', he had become pretty popular in the library - the group was starting to swell the children's section. While it was nice that more children were showing up, it also meant more trash and messes to clean.

He flipped through the books, looking for either a new story, or one that hadn't been done in awhile, when he heard a soft pounding sound. The next thing he knew, the wind was knocked out of him as a ball of fur clad in a green shirt and black pants bounced in his lap.

Another bundle of fur, still decked out in her pink onesie was quickly trying to make her way to him, toddling along on tiny white feet. When she reached him, she half fell on him, then proceeded to hug his knees, looking up at him with a huge smile on her face as he gasped for air.

"Yakky home!"

"Whatcha wanna do today Yakko?"

"Yakky play with cutie!"

"Did you bring us any candy?"

"Yakky play block!"

"No Yakko play -"

"Enough guys," he interrupted them. He loved them, but their squeaky little voices were giving him a headache. "Let's eat lunch before we decide what to do, OK?"

Even though lunch was technically breakfast for them. He did feel a bit guilty about that; why should they have to sleep during the day like little vampires because Dad couldn't stay away from the card games and dog tracks and whatever else he was into? It wasn't fair to them.

Wasn't fair to him either - after sleeping half the day during the week, they were real monsters when it came to getting up early in the morning Saturday to go to the library.

Irritated and willing himself not to turn it on his siblings, he let Wakko slide to the floor then stood up, swinging Dot up into his arms at the same time. Wakko ran ahead of him to the kitchen, jumping onto his chair and standing up in it to lean on the table.

Yakko popped Dot in the highchair, noticing that she was going to be growing out of that sooner or later, and cut his eyes to Wakko. Wakko saw the look and quickly sat back down on his phone books. They would need more phone books. Well, if Wakko hadn't grown enough by then, he was sure that the phone company would be dumping more outside their door for booster seats.

He turned to the counter and refrigerator, pulling all the items needed for sandwiches; he was even cooking soup for them as well - chicken noodle. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wakko reaching for the knife on the counter.

"Remember what happened last time you touched a knife Wakko?"

Wakko pulled his hand away and frowned. "But I wanna help."

Oh, right, the whole _imitation_ thing. What could he give him to do?

"Here, think you can take out six pieces of bread?"

He handed Wakko the loaf and watched him struggle to undo the tie, and count out the six slices while he heated the soup.

He started pulling out bologna and cheese, and began to make the sandwiches, making sure to cut both his siblings' sandwiches into small pieces and to remove the crust.

Pouring milk for Wakko and Dot, he grabbed a cup of water for himself.

"Can I have water too?"

"No, you drink milk."

"Why?"

"Because it does a body good."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"You're not drinking it."

"I don't have to."

"Why?"

"I'm older."

"You always say that!"

"Because it's true. Don't whine, drink the milk; be happy you can."

Wakko frowned, but did as he was told as Yakko put his soup and sandwich in front of him.

Yakko sat down, frowning slightly himself, but for a different reason. He wasn't nuts about drinking just water, but for now, he had no alternative. After drinking a couple glasses of milk here and there, and spending the following hour or two in the bathroom as it violently exited his body, he had determined that perhaps he better not drink it.

The first time it happened, he had thought the milk went bad, but it didn't appear to affect Wakko or Dot. The following three times it happened, he swore off the stuff until further notice, and decided to utilize the library to its fullest advantage.

After reading several long, very tedious and boring medical books, he had deduced that he either had a milk allergy or was lactose intolerant; he couldn't figure out which. Taking a bite out of his sandwich, he thought it was probably a lactose intolerance problem; he was eating the cheese, and that hadn't made him sick...yet.

He cast a suspicious glace at the sandwich, hoping that the cheese wasn't swearing out revenge on him as he ate.

"Milk - unh -unh - dink!"

He turned to see Dot trying to stretch herself out of her chair to grab the cup. He held the cup with his left hand so Dot could get a drink without spilling it; their cups were too big for her to grasp by herself. He watched Wakko, who apparently was bored with the whole idea of lunch now and was playing with the remains of his sandwich.

"Wak, eat the food, don't play with it, ok?"

Wakko looked up from his sandwich scraps that he was using as little cars, even going so far as to make 'vroom vroom' sounds. "What are we gonna do today? Are we going to the park?"

Yakko thought about what was happening at the park; nuh uh - not going there. He was not going to explain why there was a chalk outline of a man next to the swings.

"Ehhhhh, how about we stay here - the park's not going to be very fun today - we'll work on your reading and -"

"No, I don't want to do that."

"Well, we'll do it anyway - then I'll show you a new card shuffle, OK?"

"No! I want to -"

Yakko didn't look at him, instead giving Dot another sip off her cup, and said, "If you're going to throw a tantrum, go to the bedroom. Dot and I are still eating and don't feel like listening to you scream."

"But -"

"Wakko."

"Fine."

With that, Wakko slumped back in his seat, going into a pout, while Yakko smirked and mentally patted himself on the back. For making all this up as he went along, he was getting better at it. By the time Dot got to this age, he would have had all the practice he needed with Wakko.

_It'll be a snap; no way could girls be harder than boys,_ he thought, turning to look at Wakko.

Just then, Dot managed to pull the cup of milk out of his hands and throw it at him, laughing, as the cup hit the side of his head, drenching him in milk. She pointed and continued to laugh as Wakko's face changed from pouting to amused, and he joined in the hilarity.

"Yakky bath!"

He mentally corrected himself - he could only hope sisters weren't harder than brothers.

XXXXXXXXXX

After lunch, Yakko sat Dot on the kitchen floor to play with her blocks while he engaged in what was the longest reading session ever with Wakko. It was supposed to be thirty minutes, their agreed upon magic number for the moment.

They had been sitting there about eight minutes; it already felt like thirty years.

He was finally able to bribe him again to do it if he promised to show him a new card shuffle. The _Pharaoh Shuffle_ was a difficult shuffle, and he didn't know if Wakko would catch on right away, but anything to get him to be still for the entire thirty minutes. He wasn't to worried about it; Wakko picked up all the other shuffles; he would get this one to.

Currently, Wakko was working on writing his letters, scratching them out one line at a time on the notebook paper Yakko had bought. He watched as Wakko hunched over the paper on the kitchen table, tongue peeking out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated. At least he was willing to hold up his part of the bargain.

Yakko though had to check on his mother. She was going to need her pills soon and hopefully she was getting hungry.

Looking at his brother, he stood, going to the sink to get a cup of water and ladling some of the leftover soup into a bowl. Wakko looked up at him, smiling and looking excited, curling his tail around the back of the chair.

_Probably hoping his half hour session was over_, he thought.

"Don't get your hopes up - we've been here about nine minutes." He watched Wakko's face fall, and smirked. "You promised thirty minutes. Back at it."

Wakko gave a huge, long suffering sigh, and went back to scribbling the alphabet, looking at the letters on the page next to him that Yakko had written out for him to copy.

"I'm going to go check on Mom. You stay in that chair and keep an eye on Dot. Something happens and you need me, you yell, got it?"

Wakko gave him a nod, continuing to write.

Yakko stood and went down the hall. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and stepped inside, closing it almost shut behind him with his tail.

Looking at the bed, he sighed and walked over there. On top of the tall dresser by the window, he put down the soup and water and picked up the bottle of Balooafom. He twisted open the top and looked inside; only three pills left - long enough for today. Hopefully Dad would show up soon with more.

Yakko looked down at his mother, almost feeling tears come to his eyes. She had been so beautiful...

He shook his head and ran his hand over his face. Watching someone die right before you was almost like an out of body experience - he was watching it; but he felt an almost floating sensation - a lightheaded feeling - like he was hovering - he shook his head - he was about to pass out.

Even after clearing his head, he still had the feeling of being somewhere else - hell - he wished he were somewhere else. He wished his father would come home and help deal with this more. He blamed him for more than a little part of this - he could have stopped her, but if she was in a comatose stupor while they were off at the club, he could run around with women and the other gamblers and play cards...

Nevermind...something that couldn't be changed...just have to deal with it.

He took a breath and concentrated on his mother. He needed to try to wake her up enough so she could at least take her medicine.

Looking down at her in the dim light, he could see her skin where patches of her fur had started to fall out. The skin, instead of being the healthy pink pallid color of before, was now a pale yellow with a grey undertone. Her mouth was almost always open for breathing now; the nasal cavities were too heavily damaged by the constant snorting of Twink.

Her breathing was loud and irregular, broken occasionally by silence as she stopped for a few seconds when her chest muscles grew tired. The doctor had told them they could alleviate some of that by propping her head and chest up, and Yakko had taken almost every pillow and blanket in the house to put under her, trying in any way to lessen her pain.

Her breathing bothered him the most; along with the heavy rasping sound, there was a slight fluidy, bubbling sound - mucus that she was no longer able to cough up on her own - he or Dad, on those lucky days when he decided to come home, had to turn her head to the side twice a day so gravity could aid them in draining the secretions.

It was a disgusting, horrible sound, and he couldn't stand it. He had heard all sorts of sounds living in Plympton, but this was the absolute worse.

Her dark eyes fluttered open and she looked at him, giving him a weary smile.

Smiling back, he sat on the bed, handing her a pill and the glass of water, which she was barely able to take.

"How ya feeling Mom?" He asked her quietly.

She smiled and muttered, "OK - now that I got my medicine."

He tried to give her a spoonful of soup, but she shook her head.

"Not now. Is your father back yet?"

"No."

"Tell him to see me when he gets back, I really want to see him."

Yakko looked at her as she began coughing again.

"You can leave now sweetie; go see your brother and sister."

"They're OK Mom - they're in the kitchen."

"Yakko, when you coming back?" Wakko had wandered out of the kitchen, and had pushed open the door to watch them.

Yakko turned to address his brother. "Wakko, I told you to stay in the kitchen with Dot."

He saw his brother's curious look; he was watching his mother. Yakko had done everything he could to try to shield the two from what was going on; this was the first time Wakko had seen his mother in her current condition, and he could tell his brother was upset.

He turned back to her and told Wakko to go check on his sister. With a hurt look, Wakko finally left to check on Dot. Yakko spoke to his mother, who was already drifting back off to sleep.

"Get some rest Mom; I'll be back later."

She mumbled something and was out again.

With a sad sigh, he stood, leaving the soup and glass of water by the bed in case she woke up. She might still be able to eat it without having it fed to her.

Exiting and closing the door behind him, he entered the hallway to see Wakko standing in the kitchen doorway. He was watching him with a somber look on his face and holding Dot's hand. Even she looked upset.

"Yakky sad?"

Yakko watched her face start to crumble and he quickly crossed the hallway to pick her up as she began crying.

"No, no Yakky sad Dottie." He went back into the kitchen, curling his tail around Wakko's shoulders as he did so. "Mom's just not feeling good right now."

Wakko looked at him. "Why?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." He didn't have a clue how to explain death to him.

"She's sick because of the stuff Daddy brings home, isn't she?"

Yakko blinked at him - his brother could be unusually perceptive at times.

"Ehhhhh, not really Wakko, well, sorta. Here." He sat back down, holding Dot in his lap, while lifting Wakko up by his collar and putting him back in the chair. "Let me show you that new shuffle now."

He slid Dot to the floor to play with her blocks again and began to show Wakko the shuffle, hoping it would distract him. Wakko managed to look interested in the shuffle and annoyed about being blown off at the same time.

Yakko sat back in the chair as Wakko began to play with the cards again, lost in this thoughts, wondering how much longer Mom was going to be around, regretful that he couldn't have spent more time with her - preferably while she was sober, hoping Dad came back soon with her medicine, wished Dot would stop pounding on his toe with her block -

"Like this Yakko?"

Yakko snapped back to watch Wakko - he didn't have it perfect, not even close, but he had to admit that his little brother had it a lot better than he did the first day he tried it. It had taken him close to a week to get to the stage that Wakko was at now.

"That's really good Wakko! Do it again, but try to make it a little smoother, one fluid motion, OK?"

He watched as Wakko concentrated, tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth as he attempted it again. This time he ended up dropping half the cards and looked upset.

"Don't worry about it sib, told ya, practice makes perfect, right? Here, I'll get them."

Yakko bent down under the table to get the cards, coming face to face with Dot, who proceed to kiss his nose then bang him over the head with a block. The blocks were hollow plastic - it didn't hurt too badly.

He gently took her hand when it was swinging back again. "No hitting Dot."

"Yakky! Lego!"

"No, don't hit - or at least don't hit me."

The scream of protest she let out actually startled him, especially since he was still under the table with her. Wakko was bent down in his chair watching with wide eyes as Dot reached back and hit Yakko again.

"No Dot - no hitting."

She of course hit him again, still screaming.

Wakko muttered, "Oh, if I did that I'd be in trouble."

"You know better," Yakko replied, finally just picking up the cards and ignoring Dot.

She was probably still a little too young to fully comprehend, but he figured it was worth trying to tell her. If he got through to her now, he wouldn't end up with a total brat at age four.

He handed the cards back to Wakko, and watched as he continued to work on the new shuffle.

"What's wrong with Mummy?"

Yakko sighed; he was still trying to figure out how to explain it. "She's just really sick right now."

"Why?"

"Ehhhh...I'll tell you when you're older."

"You always say that."

"Just trust me, you'll understand it better."

_Then you can explain it to me because I can't figure it out..._

"How come you won't teach me that other stuff?"

Yakko blinked at the sudden topic change, but was grateful for it. "I told you Wak, you don't need to know it right now. Honestly, I don't want to know it myself sometimes."

He figured he better try to distract him before he began begging again. "I got a new movie today - _Duck Soup_ - want to watch that?"

Wakko was getting slightly harder to distract now; he totally ignored the comment and kept talking.

"He showed you because he likes you better."

_Hardly - and even if it was true, it's nothing to be excited about._

"He does not like me better - it's like I told you before - I'm older, so I have to do different stuff sometimes."

"You get to go places too - I never get to go anywhere."

Yakko looked at him. He remembered having a couple of minor arguments with Wakko when he first started going out with his father - Wakko didn't understand why Yakko was leaving them, and of course wanted to go too.

He had finally convinced him that he needed to go, and Wakko would be helping him a lot by staying with their sister. Telling Wakko that he was also an older brother just like Yakko had seemed to help settle that argument. Some.

Looking at him now though, he could tell Wakko probably wasn't as over it as he had previously thought. He couldn't blame him in a way; he knew Wakko probably got bored - he and Dot never really got to go anywhere new. The excitement of the weekly trips to the library had worn off some time ago.

Yakko took a look at his brother again; he was starting to look depressed. Or he was faking; it was hard to say with him. Yakko already knew his brother had figured out how to play him, and rarely missed the opportunity if he wasn't getting his way. Yakko rolled his eyes; he was such a sucker.

"Ok, fine, I'll show you a couple of 'those other things' - later," he stressed, seeing Wakko's excited look. "It's naptime."

"You always say that when you want to get rid of me."

_Not_ _always_.

"Don't argue or I won't show you anything."

"OK."

_What?_

"I'll take a nap."

_Well, if he's being so compliant..._

"And you practice your reading and writing more."

Wakko nodded his head and smiled. "Deal!"

Yakko stared at him - it was that easy? Just show him a couple of techniques and no fights? He would have done this a year ago if he had known...

He shook his head - either he really wanted to learn or Wakko had already cooked some scheme up in his head to get into trouble - probably the latter.

Yakko briefly thought about it - he wasn't sure he should teach him.

Then again there couldn't be any harm in showing his brother a few things - he wasn't exactly going to be training him to work out there with him. If it kept him entertained, and even better, made it easier to do some studying with him, well, he was all for that. Besides, he could teach him some palming; he needed that if he ever wanted to do more than shuffle the cards.

_Besides_, he thought, picking up Dot who decided to start squeezing his nose like a grape, _he probably wouldn't have to teach him anything; Wakko got bored trying to write his name after five minutes._

Wakko, who was much more agreeable to his nap now that he had gotten his way, ran ahead to the bedroom. Yakko carried the not quite as agreeable Dot, who was currently using his head as a punching bag, back to the bedroom, when he heard the front door slam open.

Dad was home. Hearing a bottle rattling with pills in it, he gave a sigh of relief; Dad had remembered the medicine. Sticking his head around the bedroom door as his father made his way down the hall and went into the bedroom, he saw he remembered to get a blue bag of something for his mother too.

XXXXXXXXXX

_October 14, 1989_

This week's session was an absolute nightmare.

He knew he had been off when performing for the last several weeks; dropping cards, forgetting what he was going to say...The audience hadn't noticed, not really - he had covered the flubs well, but still he noticed.

In the last two months, Dad had been making slightly more regular appearances at the apartment, so the strain of caring for his siblings and his mother had been lessened a little. He almost felt his life was returning to some normalcy. He was even getting a little more sleep now.

Walking here today, he had felt better than he had in weeks. He had a new trick perfected, several new jokes and short monologues to perform; he was feeling pretty good.

But this group today...wow. Rowdy would be the only word he could think of to describe them.

The children were yelling out tricks they wanted to see performed, but half of them weren't even paying attention. The parents were being rude enough this week that they were actually shouting at each other over him. Dot was trying to run all over the place, and Yakko had caught Wakko's long suffering look he had shot toward him twice now as he chased after her and brought her back to their spot. As soon as he did, and he turned his back, she was up and toddling off again.

Those instances were the only time the entire afternoon that Yakko had actually smiled. Yakko shot his brother what could only be called a Cheshire Cat smile and Wakko glared back at him.

Yakko smirked at him - served him right - now he could start to see what he had to put up with.

_SweetStrudel better get back soon,_ he thought. _I'm about out of tricks._

He knew exactly how long it took to perform each routine, each trick, each joke, and he would be damned if she was only gone a minute or two this time - it was going on ten minutes.

With that thought, he felt something in his hand, and looked down. Wakko was balanced on his right leg, and had thrown his left leg into Yakko's hand, a la Harpo Marx.

Yakko looked down at him in shock as Wakko gave him a rather impudent smirk, pulled his leg back, and then went back to sit down. Meanwhile, some of the children and parents were laughing, and Dot was clapping her hands and screaming "Wakky funny".

Ok, that's the last time he was going to let 'Wakky' watch three Marx Brother's movies in a row.

Just as he was about to inform the audience that he was totally out of material and they should entertain him for awhile, SweetStrudel came waddling back on scene.

She gave him a smile that he wasn't able to return, and sat down to continue the session as Wakko kept making faces at him.

Finally, unable to help it, Yakko let out a grin and shook his head; got to give his brother credit, he could be funny.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You should bring him up every now and then."

Yakko looked at her as he handed over the top hat. It was official - she had completely lost her marbles. "You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. You two look good together and it broke up your routine a bit. You don't want to do the same thing every week. And he didn't show anywhere near the reluctance you did about getting up there and doing something. Remember how you were?"

Yakko thought back to that first month. "Yeah, I'll never forget the taste of my own bile as I about ralphed in a goose bill. But I am not encouraging my brother to come up here and do this."

Goose patted her ringlets down and gave him an irritated look. "I'm not saying have him replace you - just get him used to being up in front of people."

"Why does he need to be 'used to being in front of people'? I have doubts he's going to be an actor."

"How do you know? And you never thought you would be doing this, did you? Wouldn't it have been easier if you were in front of a group with someone you knew?"

"No, it would have been easier if you hadn't stuck me in a stupid goose costume actually."

Goose sighed dramatically, even going so far as to put her chubby hand on her chest. "Yes, I know, it was so terrible for you. Just hush, 'Puddles' served his purpose and -"

"What purpose?" Great, she was speaking in riddles again. He bent to clean a particularly nasty spill of cookie and punch mix. Looking at it again, he hoped it was just a spill of cookie and punch.

"Well, you thought 'Puddles' was the worst thing that could happen, right?" When he nodded, she continued. "No matter what I did to you after that, it would be an improvement."

Hell, she could have put him in a dress like hers and it wouldn't have been that bad.

She patted his check. "Don't worry, everyone dislikes the 'Puddles' costume."

"Everyone?" He jerked his head around at that. "What does that mean? You purposely put me in a costume you knew the audience hated?"

_Wow, she was an evil old -_

"Not the audience, all my assistants - they all hate that costume."

"All your...Other people wore that...thing? Recently?"

"Of course - my daughter runs a costume shop; all my assistants wear costumes from her place. You think I got that costume especially for you?"

Personally, he had never thought out it. Now, he wanted to go take a long hot shower; how many people had been sweating in that thing? Was it cleaned, ever? Did any of his predecessors have an even weaker stomach and had actually ralphed in it?

_Oh spew._

"That's disgusting." He saw her eyebrows raise, along with the sides of her mouth shoot up in a grin, and he shook his head. Why bother? "But no way would I force my brother into that monstrosity. Not to mention, it would be too big for him."

He turned to look at his brother, sitting in the chair beside Dot. Currently he was holding a book open in one hand, showing her the pictures, and still eating cookies, breaking them in half to give to Dot.

"No - a magician and a goose is too odd a mix. Just have him come up to help with a card trick or something. Look at it this way - you can do different sorts of tricks if you have an assistant that is in on the act."

That was correct - he had read about several card tricks he could try, if he had a second pair of hands in on the act. He had just never considered bringing in Wakko before.

"Ehhhhhhhh - I don't know - he's a little young..."

"So? It's just something to think about."

"Fine, I'll think about it." How did he let himself get talked into these things?

"Good. Now, how are you doing on that pie?"

"Not so well." He shrugged. "It's round, it's getting to be about the right size, but the texture -"

"What flavor?"

"Banana Crème."

_What did that matter?_

"Do you like Banana Crème?"

"I don't really like bananas. I'm more of an apple toon."

"Try doing that instead."

He smirked and asked, "With or without a lattice crust?"

"Don't get cute - it was a suggestion."

"I don't think Bugs and Daffy threw around apple pies."

"They both had considerably more age and experience on you - they could have thrown around whatever they wanted. This week, try envisioning an apple pie instead. If you're trying to force -"

"I'm not forcing it; I don't know. Just been a little distracted lately." He sighed. "I'll try an apple."

Goose waited a moment while Yakko gathered his thoughts. When he didn't continue speaking, she did.

"This is not an emergency, you've got time."

"Not much really; he'll be ready to start his training soon," he replied, pointing toward Wakko. "I want to be able to help him."

"You're not going to be able to help him if you're so stressed out you can't even pull a pie. Let it go, relax. Remember when you found your hammerspace?" he nodded. "As soon as you weren't concentrating on finding it and not working yourself into a frenzy about it, you breached it. Just stay calm, and work on it. You'll find it. Just like the hammerspace - suspension of belief and all that." She patted his cheek. "I've got faith you'll do it."

He gave her a wry grin. "Thanks."

"This might cheer you up a bit. Close your eyes."

Curious, but deciding that he'd never won an argument with her, did as he was told, expecting to get creamed in the face with a pie. He knew she liked Banana Crème.

"Open them now."

He did, and looked to see her holding a mallet. About a foot and a half long, with a dark mahogany finish, it was a beautiful instrument of destruction. He took a shocked breath as she handed it to him.

"You've earned it."

He blinked at her, shocked and secretly pleased. Shaking his head, he said, "I can't accept this - it's to -"

"You can accept it - I got it for you. You've come far enough along in your studies now - you've earned the right to carry it."

"A toon doesn't get their mallet until they can totally Fritz a pie -"

She shrugged and talked over him. "You're close enough. If you try a different pie, you'll probably have it done in the next couple of Saturdays anyway. Once you get that done, I'll show you how to start working with total liquids. Spraying a bottle of seltzer is about as old a toon standard as tossing around a pie."

Regarding her, Yakko impulsively gave her a hug, which she happily returned, squeezing him to her ample chest.

"You're welcome squirt - now let go - I have to get to my next session." She sighed. "I'm always late with you..."

XXXXXXXXXX

Walking home, Yakko was feeling extraordinarily pleased with himself. He finally had a mallet. It didn't mean that much in reality, it was basically a status symbol - but you knew you were a halfway decent toon if you had progressed to the point of being gifted a mallet.

Sure, there was still so much more to learn - he still hadn't Fritzed a pie yet, he knew he wouldn't be able to take a large fall without seriously hurting himself, and no way could he do 'Toonspeed', but he had reached his second major milestone.

Wakko was fascinated with Yakko's mallet, and kept begging to see it. Yakko promised to let him see it all he wanted, when they got home. Wakko had wanted to carry it for him, but since he was reasonably certain the mallet weighed at least half of what he did, he knew that wouldn't be a good idea.

As Yakko walked and watched Wakko and Dot chase some piece of rubbish down the sidewalk, he had a weird feeling...sort of like dread, and he was familiar with that emotion. But it wasn't, something else...he shrugged and tried to push the feeling down, instead concentrating on watching the two laughing children play with their caught rubbish - a cup top. Thank goodness they were easily amused.

As was becoming the custom, the visit to the grocery story was interesting. Dot decided to climb the shelf in the bread section while Yakko turned his back for a second to tell Wakko to stop opening all the packages to take a bite out of everything. He then had to pull Dot off the third bottom shelf, and he quickly got all of them out of the aisle before an employee came by to ask why all the loaves had little tiny footprints imbedded in them.

Once again showing that he was a glutton for punishment, he allowed himself to be talked into buying a soda by Wakko, and had his usual party going down the street. Dot got her second wind and demanded to walk, trying to follow in Wakko's footsteps as he climbed up on a bench.

Unfortunately, she wasn't real good at climbing yet no matter how much she liked it. Not seeing anything to latch on to, she instead grabbed Wakko's tail to pull herself up. This caused Wakko to lose his grip, and they both ended up going backwards, falling on their butts on the sidewalk before Yakko could get over there.

Annoyed with himself for being distracted, he spent a few minutes checking to make sure nothing was broken on his crying siblings before continuing home, now carrying Dot, who was no longer demanding 'me walk Yakky talk'.

Arriving at the building, Yakko looked up quickly; he had a weird feeling again.

Not sure what it was, he shook it off and directed Wakko to carefully get going up the stairs; he needed to check on Mom and put them down for their naps.

After making their way up the stairs to the fourth floor, he was surprised to find the front door unlocked.

Not able to shake off the bad feeling coming back stronger than before, he entered the door to the apartment. He pulled Wakko back, who was currently trying to push past him into the living room.

He looked around; other than the kitchen light being on, everything looked the same. Nothing out of the ordinary. He frowned - he usually listened to his instincts, and something told him that things were not what they seemed.

Putting Dot, who was now dozing on the couch, he lifted Wakko up there too, and told him to stay put.

Quietly, he walked to the kitchen and looked in, then sighed, half in relief, half in annoyance. His father was here, that's all. He had been worried about a robber, not likely in this house, but still.

He studied his father for a second. He had not even looked up - Yakko had a feeling he didn't even know he was there. He was sitting in Wakko's chair, three-quarters turned away from him, just staring off into space, holding a cigarette in his right hand that was rapidly burning itself out - it was ashed almost to the filter.

A little hesitantly, Yakko cleared his throat, wanting to get his attention before he came in the room and startled him.

"Go away."

_Great, he was in one of those moods._

"Is everything -"

"I said go away. Get the hell away from me."

_So glad you're home Dad._

Quietly muttering under his breath, Yakko turned and headed back to the couch, scooping up Dot and Wakko - his brother had fallen asleep while still sitting up.

Heading back to the bedroom to put them down, he noticed that his parents' bedroom door was open. Glancing inside, he noticed that his mother was not in the bed. Shocked and worried, he paused and felt his blood run cold when a thought hit him.

Quickly putting his siblings down, he closed that door and went into his parents' bedroom. Where was she? He had a feeling he knew, but he didn't even want to think it.

He was wrong, she had been OK when he left this morning; no better of course, but certainly not worse. He would never have left if she was worse.

Trying to quell the feeling of panic that was mounting, he walked back to the kitchen. He didn't care how bad his mood was; he wanted to hear it from his father's mouth. He deserved to hear it from his father's mouth.

Stopping outside the kitchen, he took a deep breath, resolving to get it out of him no matter what, and stepped back onto the linoleum.

His father never even turned toward him.

"I've told you to go away twice. I don't need you that bad that I won't slap the shit out of you."

"Where is she?"

"Stupid, can't you figure it out?"

"I deserve to hear it from you."

"Fine. She's dead. I came here with the medicine, and she was gasping and draining blink from her eyes and nose. I ran down to the payphone across the street, called the hospital." He took a shuddering breath before continuing. "By the time they got here, she was dead. I barely got to say goodbye."

_At least you got to. _

Yakko slumped into his chair. You really did go weak in the knees at bad news.

She was gone.

Strange how you can watch someone waste away before your eyes...you know it's coming, and that it could be any day, but when they're actually gone, you're still in shock.

"They hauled her body out about fifteen minutes before you got here."

He missed talking to her by minutes.

Well, in a way, that had worked out. He didn't want to see her body being 'hauled out'; he certainly didn't want Wakko and Dot exposed to that.

Yakko cleared his throat and swallowed; it was feeling tight.

Feeling the burn of tears coming to his eyes, he closed his lids, trying to will them not to spill. He was going to have to stay together through this; if for no other reason than for his siblings…they were going to be so confused…

Feeling a few tears spill despite himself, he quickly wiped them away with his fingers.

Clearing his throat, he managed to choke out, "Any service?"

His father snorted. "No."

Damn, he really wasn't going to be able to say goodbye.

He watched his father stand and begin to walk out of the kitchen.

"I need to go out for a few hours...I hafta think. You can tell your brother and sister I guess?"

Yakko looked at him and nodded, numb. How was he going to tell his sibs this news? Should they even hear something like that from him...shouldn't he - their father - pass that news on to his children? Was it really the job for an older brother?

Yakko shook his head; if his father was that cold and despondent in telling him, he could imagine how he would tell them and what their reaction would be. Chances were, if he let his father handle something that delicate, he'd traumatize them for life.

While Dot was too little to even know what was happening really, Wakko wasn't...he was already imagining the questions that were going to be coming at him in a few hours.

"Yeah, I'll tell them. I'll talk to them when they're up." Even now his voice sounded so emotionless. Shouldn't he be sobbing or something - isn't that what people did when someone died?

"She wanted you to have this."

Yakko snapped out of his thoughts and looked at him, trying to discretely wipe his nose as he did so.

"She gave it to me before...awhile ago; said she wanted ya to have it. You don't want it I'll ditch it."

Yakko looked; in his father's hand was her wedding ring.

It wasn't much to look at, a cheap battered gold band with a diamond so tiny you could barely see it, but it was hers. She always wore it; he wondered when she had taken it off to give to his father to pass on to him. He wondered why he had never noticed it was no longer on her finger.

He reached his fingers that were surprisingly steady out to take it.

"No. No...I want it. Thanks."

Grasping it, he looked down at it in his palm, viewing it from eyes once again filling. This time, he didn't bother trying to stop them.

He heard his father mutter a 'yeah, sure kid' and walk out of the kitchen, for once closing the front door without slamming it.

XXXXXXXXXX

"She went away? Why? Didn't she like us anymore?"

Yakko bit his lip, taking a deep shuddering breath. He knew this was going to be difficult. "No Wak, not quite like that. She passed away."

"Passed away?"

Seeing the look on his brother's face, he knew he didn't really comprehend any of this.

Sighing, Yakko pulled him onto his lap so that they were facing each other. This was gonna be one weird conversation.

Dot was still sleeping on the bed, apparently worn out from the journey home. Wakko had slept his usual amount of time and upon waking, had come out to see a very upset Yakko on the couch, crying softly and holding the ring.

Wakko, upset and confused at seeing his tears, was on the verge of crying himself and Yakko had struggled to pull himself together.

He had asked Wakko to sit with him on the couch for a few minutes; this would be as good a time as any to try to explain what he could to him. It wouldn't be fair to either of them to hold off longer than necessary.

"Yeah. Look, um, are you understanding any of this?"

Wakko shook his head no, still teary eyed, and Yakko sighed again. Wakko was a pretty literal child, maybe just straight out telling him would work.

"Ok. Let's say it this way. You know Mom was sick right?"

Wakko nodded his head yes. "Cuz of the stuff Daddy brings her."

"No. The stuff Dad was bringing helped her."

_Well, some of it was anyway._

"But it didn't help, did it?"

_It was a start._

"Well, it did help some, but it couldn't fix what was wrong with her -"

Wakko's eyes widened.

"Mummy was broke?" He whispered. "How?"

_Damn, now he just scared him._

"Well, her body just wasn't working right anymore. Sometimes, the body just -"

_Dammit, how was he supposed to explain this?_

"Sometimes really bad things happen to people's bodies, and they just break down. Remember the -"

_Oh, don't want to bring up the clock in the living room that he broke._

"Remember the old radio that used to be in the kitchen? It just stopped working, and we couldn't fix it?"

Wakko nodded, still looking frightened.

"Kinda like that."

Wakko still looked confused. "When's she coming home?"

_Damn, he wasn't getting it._

_OK - try again._

"Wak, bud, she's not going to come home."

"Because she's broke."

"Uh, yeah, cuz she's broke."

Wakko still had a frightened look on his face. Yakko hoped if he just took it slow he'd be able to get through to him.

"Is she happy?"

"Uh, yeah, she's happy - she's in a really happy place - she's not hurting anymore, and that's good, right?"

Wakko nodded slowly. "You're not gonna break too, are you?"

Yakko smiled at him and shook his head. "No, I'm not going anywhere."

"How do you know - you could break too."

_Just mentally. _

"I don't think I'm ever gonna break like that."

"But how do you know?"

_Oh jeeze..._

"Wakko, sometimes toons do really stupid things to their bodies, things that can't be fixed."

"Why?"

_Question for the ages._

"Lots of reasons, none of them good. But listen, I'm not gonna do anything like that - you're not either, right?" Getting Wakko's vigorous nod, he continued. "Trust me on this - I'll be around for a long time, OK?" He leaned forward so their noses were touching. "You think I'm ever gonna leave you guys?"

Wakko still had a bit of a worried expression, but shook his head no.

"Promise?"

_Should he promise - he'd really hate to break a promise to him...he'd feel guilty, even if he was dead..._

"All I can hope is that all of us go on living for a longer time than you can even imagine - will that work?"

"Uh-huh."

Yakko ruffled his hair as Wakko hugged him and they broke the hug at the sound of Dot calling 'Yakky get cutie now'.

With a small smile, Yakko stood and slid Wakko to the floor so they could go get their sister to play for a few hours before dinner.

End Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7 - Secrets between Brothers_

_February 1990_

"This is very important Wakko – do you understand me?"

Getting Wakko's nod, he continued. "You need to stay beside me, don't say a word, just watch, got it? That's it."

Wakko nodded his head again. "What about if you -"

"No Wakko. Listen to me," Yakko interrupted him, kneeling down in the crumbling alley to look into Wakko's eyes. "What you're learning – it's extremely dangerous."

_And shifty, and illegal, and we're all going to end up in jail or the TIS system if we're caught._

"If I get grabbed or someone chases me, you go straight into the restaurant – you saw where Dad and Dot are sitting, right? Straight in there and you three will leave."

"But - "

Yakko interrupted him again, trying to keep his voice calm but with enough force behind it to assure himself of Wakko's compliance. "But nothing. This is serious."

_And stupid._

"Straight in there; you're an observer only for now. Dad wants you to learn, but you're learning by my rules, got it?"

"Ok."

This was absolutely the worst thing that could have possibly happened – he didn't think even his father could crawl this low.

Looking up, he met his father's eyes, watching him across the street in Daddy O's Restaurant. Drinking his coffee and holding Dot, he was staring at them through the window like they were characters in an interesting play being put on for him. Yakko shot him a glare and his father returned his look with a smirk.

Yakko stood, brushing off the knees of his pants now damp with whatever was leaking into the alley, and looked down at his brother. This was his first 'training run' - prior to this, he had been sitting in the restaurant with his father and Dot while Yakko worked. But now, it had been decided that he should see firsthand what happened. Yakko had volunteered to handle this part of this training himself; eventually he would be working with him, and he honestly felt he would protect his brother better than his father would.

Yakko sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He needed to make sure Wakko understood what he was supposed to do - the consequences would be devastating if he got a little wild or bored and blew their cover.

"Remember, you do not say a word. You stay directly beside me. You run if anything happens. Don't even think of disobeying me on this one."

Eyes wide with a mixture of excitement and fear, Wakko again nodded, ears flopping in his face as Yakko held his hand out.

Wakko, smiling, took his hand with his own now gloved one, and they both exited the alley.

Yakko already had his eye on the next victim, a small sized bear toon in a suit heading right toward them.

Acting like he was paying attention to Wakko, he studied the pockets like he had been trained to do, spotting the square, telltale bulge of the wallet. He aimed just so and bumped shoulders with the toon, causing him to drop his umbrella.

Yakko's hand was in and out of the toon's pocket before the umbrella hit the ground.

"Oh my - excuse me son!"

Yakko let go of Wakko's hand and stooped to pick up the umbrella. "My fault mister - wasn't paying attention - sorry about that."

Handing the man back his umbrella, he grabbed Wakko's hand again, and they continued walking, crossing the street and heading into another alley for some privacy.

Crouching down and feeling the jagged cobblestones digging into his feet, he pulled the wallet out of his pocket and showed it to Wakko, who looked half excited, half confused.

Yakko hated doing this - his poor brother was going to be so warped. He hated his father even more, making him do this.

"Did you see what I did? Just one fluid motion - in and out."

Wakko nodded, still looking excited. "Uh huh - can I try now?"

Yakko sighed; Wakko was way too little for this - it was nothing more than an exciting game for him. He really didn't understand why they were doing this - he only knew he was doing something his brother and father did…

"No you can't try! We've only been working with you a couple of months. You've still got lots more -"

"I'm good - you and Daddy both said I had good manal tex…dex…de…good with my hands."

"Manual dexterity, and no - there's too much risk right now. Not to mention, you shouldn't want to try. I don't want to do it Wak, and I'm still not liking the idea of you doing it. We don't want to be thieves."

"But we are."

_Not you…not yet…but if Dad has his way…_

"By necessity. Remember what I talked to you about - we're only doing this because we have to. We don't want to do this."

_We certainly don't want to become like him._

"Like Robin Hood - stealing from the rich to give to us - cuz were poor."

Yakko blinked.

_Where in hell did he get that?_

"Ehhhhhhh - Wak - how'd you come up with that?"

"Daddy told me - when you were giving Dot her bath, he said it was OK cuz -"

_Should have known._

Talking over him, he rolled his eyes and said, "OK, well, that's not exactly what I was shooting for - we only do this when we have to, no more - and only for as long as we have to."

"OK. How much ya get?"

_Agh - he wasn't getting it - he still thinks it's all a game._

"We'll check later - do you understand what I'm saying? We do this only when we have to - life or death situation - that's it."

"OK. Can we eat now? I'm hungry Yakko."

Looking into his face, Yakko nodded. It was getting close to lunchtime. Hopefully he made his point.

"OK - let's go back to the restaurant, we'll meet Dad and Dot and eat."

Standing, he took his hand and they walked out of the dark cobblestone lined alley onto the bright sidewalk.

He led his brother back to the restaurant, keeping his head up so as not to look suspicious. Listening to his brother talk about what he wanted to eat, he let his mind drift.

He was worried, really worried about this. Dad was going too far dragging Wakko into this; he didn't care how gifted Wakko was with his hands.

Sure, he picked up the basics of the card tricks and flourishes fast - really fast. He was almost as good as Yakko, and he had no doubt that Wakko would surpass him sooner or later.

Dad saw that his second son was talented too - after Mom's death he was at the apartment a lot more. Whether that was good or bad had yet to be determined – Dad was both a reminder of her death and a distraction from it. Other than yelling at Wakko one time for mentioning her death in front of him, Dad had not spoken one word of that situation. Instead, Yakko had noticed him watching his children, namely him and Wakko. He seemed indifferent to Dot.

Unbeknownst to Yakko though, he had really been watching, subtly, as Yakko worked with his brother on flourishes and shuffles and tricks as much as his reading and math.

Yakko took responsibility for that; he should have been more careful about teaching Wakko some of the more questionable skills he knew – and definitely been more wary about having Wakko show off what he picked up. Yakko knew what his father had done to him – and he had foolishly thought that if his father had him working, it would be enough...

Wakko had the potential to be a fine thief - quick, relatively cunning for a five year old, good with his hands, very quiet when he wanted to be…It didn't take long for the wheels to begin turning in Dad's mind.

Wakko's fifth birthday had come, and Yakko had purchased his gloves before he had hopped the bus to go back to the apartment one day, and all with money he had been saving from his library job.

Wakko's face when Yakko had first slipped them on his little hands was something he'd never forget - joy, excitement, pleasure, expectation of the things to come now. No longer a toddler - he was officially a 'child', and as such, could begin his own training in toon theory - being taught to him by Yakko of course.

Dad had made some comments about training Wakko too, and Yakko had told him to go right ahead - only he probably shouldn't wait as long as he did with him. Dad had pulled his fist right before it hit him, and had told him to sit down - he had a proposition.

Yakko had been horrified when he heard his 'proposition' - he wanted to start training Wakko to follow in his own, and his brother's footsteps. Seeing that Wakko was just as talented as Yakko, and not 'the dopey kid' or 'embarrassment to the family name' he had originally thought, Dad had declared that he would begin training him in that line of work immediately - the family needed the money.

Yakko had refused at first and received a punch for it - Dad's hand was healed now, and he didn't need him quite as badly as before. Dad had another ace up his sleeve he revealed too - he didn't need three children - TIS could easily be called to take the little one…

Scared and horrified at the implication, Yakko had relented, feeling like a scab - corrupting one sibling to save another.

Right after Christmas, Dad began working with a confused but delighted Wakko. Surprisingly he was more patient with Wakko than he had been when teaching his oldest son. Wakko had the benefit of wanting to learn plus the fact that Yakko had been working with him for months anyway.

Yakko also worked some with him, trying to instill in him that while it was certainly fun to learn something new and he was very good at it, it was a dangerous and despicable thing they were using this skill for. They needed to be very careful, and they only did this when necessary.

Yakko had a few of his own stipulations to his father's propositions, which his father was surprisingly receptive too; probably figured less fussing meant better and quicker training.

Yakko still insisted that Wakko continue working on the other portions of his minimal education. He continued his daily sessions of reading and writing with Wakko, despite his sulking and protests. Dad's being at the house made it more difficult for Yakko to bribe him with card tricks though. If he refused to show him something because he didn't do his work, Dad would just do it, so that bribe was effectively ruined. Dad really didn't put a lot of stock in that portion of his children's education.

He was a little wiz at math though, and surprisingly, seemed to enjoy it. While Yakko was thrilled that his brother was picking up this subject so quickly, he was worried how his father would think to utilize that skill - probably want to make him a card counter or something. Yakko tried to work on that skill when his father wasn't present.

What Wakko really enjoyed though was the toon theory that Yakko was slowly showing him. Yakko had a feeling that he was probably almost where he could breach his hammerspace. From what he had read, on average, when a toon child got their gloves, it took anywhere from four to ten months for them to retrain their minds enough to find it. If all went well, Wakko should be breaching it within the next month.

Goose had remembered when his birthday was, and after raving about him getting his gloves, had brought him two gifts - a box of the sugar cookies he liked so much, and a golf ball for him. He carried the golf ball everywhere, just as determined as Yakko had been to find his own hammerspace. Yakko had remembered what Goose said about not telling them about the 'cool spot' and had refrained from mentioning it to his brother for now.

Yakko had been slightly chagrined - and secretly - highly flattered that she had remembered not only his brother's birthday, but also Dot's.

She had brought Dot a pink teddy bear, which she adored - she never went anywhere without it. Even now, sleeping on their father's lap while her older brothers were out robbing the populace, she was clutching it.

Yakko popped back to the current time when Wakko kept tugging on his hand.

"What Wakko? You're about to rip my hand off."

"We passed it."

Yakko looked up - they had walked right past the restaurant.

They walked back, entering the eatery. Dad was in the far back booth, sipping his coffee as calmly as if he was simply meeting his children after a tutoring session.

Wakko hopped up into the booth, sliding over toward the window while Yakko sat at the end, giving his father a nod. He had got something, and Wakko had been able to see exactly how it happened.

The only thing he and his father agreed on was that Wakko was too young to be out there by himself, even if it was for different reasons. Yakko was more concerned about safety. A five year old wandering around by himself was dangerous; he could be seriously hurt, kidnapped, even killed. While his father certainly agreed with that, no doubt because if anything happened to him he'd lose a worker, he also stated a lone five year old would attract attention - bad working conditions for a pick-pocket.

Yakko handed Wakko a menu to look at, then leaned over to get Dot from his father. Something else he wasn't tickled about - while he was working with Wakko, Dot was alone with him. He wondered how much his father could corrupt a two year old - he was doing a fine job with a five and nine year old.

As he took Dot, he slipped the wallet to his father - more than a fair trade off as far as he was concerned. While his father began to go through the light brown billfold, Yakko sat back in his seat, holding his sister.

"Forty-eight bucks," his father muttered, shooting him a look. "That's it?"

"I just grab em. I can't control what they have," he hissed back.

As the waitress - a really bored looking hound - came to the table to take the order, Yakko and his father stared at each other, waiting for the other to break.

Yakko knew he probably wanted him to volunteer to go back out again.

_Not gonna happen._

He decided to ignore his father's nasty look knowing he wouldn't dare do anything in a public setting. He instead turned to Wakko.

"See something you want kiddo?"

"Hamburger! With fries." He announced, and then scrunched his face up as he continued to look at the menu. "No pickles. And a soda!"

_Big surprise._

"OK. I'll have one too," he said to the waitress, who was now popping her gum and staring at all of them like they were a nasty spill she was going to have to clean up. "And a cheese sandwich for Dot," he added, turning to smirk at his father. "Dad, would you like to look at the menu?"

Another one of his own propositions - the days Dad made him come out, Dad bought them all lunch.

His father gave him a disgusted look, and then threw a ten on the table as he stood up.

"I have to work, since apparently you can't pull your own weight. Get your lunch with that - not that you deserve it."

With a final glare, he stormed up the aisle and out the double glass doors, pushing a little toon turkey wearing a nice jacket and a monocle out of the way.

Wakko, still holding the menu, watched, confused, as he walked past the window and out of sight down the sidewalk.

The waitress rolled her eyes and walked away, still popping her gum and not having uttered a single word the entire time she was at the table.

Yakko shifted Dot as she started to wake up. As she yawned and stretched, she gave him a light pop in the chin with a tiny fist.

Then she dropped the bear and looked at him with a horrified expression.

"He's not gone Dot, hold on," he said quickly, bending over to get it before she cracked his eardrums by putting up a fuss.

"Why's Daddy mad Yakko - didn't we do OK?"

_He's always mad._

"We'll talk about it later Wak - remember what I said about the 'secrets between brothers'?"

Wakko nodded. "Oh yeah."

"We're not in a secret place - wait until we get home."

"Ok."

With that, he returned to looking at the menu, quietly mumbling the words out loud as he ran a finger under them. The ones he didn't know, he simply skipped over. He was saying 'meat', 'cheese', and 'comes with fries' a lot though.

Yakko shrugged; at least he was reading willingly.

Dot looked up at him, still clutching the bear to her chest. "Yakko go home?"

"Nope Dot, Yakko go eat. Dottie eats too."

"Yaaaaaaa food!"

In some ways, he almost missed the 'Yakky' she used to call him; she finally got his name right. She had trouble with the 'O' sound; Wakko had difficulty with the 'H' sound. Still did at times.

As the waitress brought the food to the table, Wakko looked up from the menu and Dot started reaching her hands toward the plates as the waitress slammed them down in front of them and walked away, never missing a beat in her gum snapping.

He got the feeling she didn't like her job much. He didn't care for his either, but really, no need to take it out on the dishes.

XXXXXXXXXX

"OK boys and girls – I need to call my little assistant up here for my next trick – give it up for Wakko!"

Yakko watched, still shuffling his cards and grinning, as Wakko propelled himself off the floor and toward the front. Dot sat on the floor, pink bear beside her, clapping her hands and laughing, watching them. Meanwhile the other children screamed and hooted, and most of the parents clapped politely.

Coming up to stand beside him, Wakko looked at him expectantly. Yakko wasn't too worried; Wakko had come up there with him several times now to help with one trick or another, and they had been working on this one for a week.

Moving the cookies to one side, he created a bare place for Wakko to lay down the cards.

"OK – my assistant here," he said, gesturing to Wakko, who waved, "is going to chose one of you," he gestured toward the audience, all of whom looked back at him with a hint of excitement, "to come up and choose a card while my eyes are closed. Then, I'm gonna have to guess which card it is."

The kids all gasped and raised their hands – they loved when they got to come up there.

This was where one of Wakko's parts came in. Called "Mystery Eight", this trick required him to arrange eight cards on the table in the same pattern as the hearts on the eight of hearts.

It was a fairly simple trick – after the eight cards were laid out, he would call someone to come up and choose a card. Afterwards, Wakko would pick up the cards, one at a time to show him. The first card to be shown to him though had to be the eight of hearts. When he showed that card to him, Wakko had to use one of his fingers that was holding the card to point to the position of the chosen card - of course being careful that the audience didn't pick up on the trick.

"Ok, my little assistant sibling – choose someone from the audience - I'm gonna close my eyes –"

"Not just close them Yakko – you should cover your eyes too – just in case."

_Good job kiddo._

"Oh, ok – well, hold on then."

Reaching over toward his brother, Yakko made a quick jerk with his wrist, knocking the silk scarf he had borrowed from Goose loose in his sleeve.

He grabbed Wakko's ear and began to reach back; to the audience, it looked like the scarf was coming from Wakko's ear. Everyone began to laugh and clap.

Wakko, giggling, took the scarf and hopped in Goose's chair so he could reach him to tie it around his eyes. It was a sloppy tie, but it got the job done.

As the audience disappeared from his sight, he heard them laughing again, which probably meant that Wakko was making faces at them or sticking bunny ears on him or something.

He listened to Wakko choose someone, a little girl from the sound of the voice.

While he was standing there, he heard her say "Is this OK?" and Wakko answer "Yep".

He waited a second more – Wakko was showing the card to the audience.

"You can take the scarf off now."

Hearing that, Yakko quickly took the blindfold off and stuffed it in his pocket. He looked and saw his brother had chosen a little girl after all, a fuzzy red fox in a green dress. She was standing beside him with her hands behind her back, smiling at him shyly.

"Ok, ready?"

"Yep, let's see what we got."

Strolling over, Yakko watched as Wakko picked up the first card, the eight of hearts, and placed his finger at the lower middle heart.

_Nice job sibling._

"Was it this card?"

Giving him a smile, Yakko shook his head and said, "Nope, not that card."

"All right."

Wakko held up several more cards, moving through the pattern until he got to the card he had indicated. The little girl gave a slight jump – even if he hadn't been told which card it was, he would have known just from her reaction.

Holding it up to his brother, then the audience, Wakko asked, "How about this card?"

"Hmmm," he answered, placing his hand to his chin. "I think... I think that's the one." He looked briefly – the four of diamonds.

The little girl started clapping and laughing, joined seconds later by the rest of the audience.

Yakko, still smiling, walked behind the two smaller children, putting a hand on each of their heads and looking out at the crowd.

"How about a round of applause for my assistant and his volunteer for helping me out?"

More clapping came, along with a little boy fox who was yelling, "Yea! Way to go Vickie!"

Both children looked up at him grinning, then quickly ran back to their seats – the little girl to the back with what he presumed were her parents and brother, Wakko back to Dot, who threw herself on him for a hug, then proceeded to pull on his hair.

Yakko was getting ready to start another trick when he saw SweetStrudel stroll back in.

_She's close to on time today._

She sat back down, telling everyone to settle down, and gave him a smile as he went back to stand behind her chair.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You two did really great, you know?"

"Thanks."

"I'm serious – you look good together."

SweetStrudel did a quick spin change, going back to her muumuu – this time a ghastly lime green with orange flowers. She picked up Dot, who gave her a big toothy grin, then began to pull on her long blond ringlets and bat at her three chins.

"You too little one," she added, looking down at Wakko who smiled up at her.

Yakko indicated that Wakko should hop in the chair, which he gladly did. Yakko smirked – he knew he was getting his weekly cookie fix.

Goose handed Dot to Yakko and said, "Some day, you might be bringing her up in front of the audience too. Anyway, how's the total liquid coming?"

Yakko shrugged, putting Dot in the chair beside Wakko, where they both began to eat any cookies they could get their hands on.

"It's OK – I'm still not getting the whole bottle of seltzer water filled."

"That's fine, that's fine – takes awhile."

He rolled his eyes. "It's been five months – I figured I would have it by now."

"Five months is nothing – a bit above average actually – especially for fritzing from nothing. Besides," she added, waving one fat hand at him, "Total liquids take time – think that's hard? Wait until I have you try to do just a cup of water – taking that out of the Hammerspace without spilling a drop...at least the seltzer water has a top."

He supposed that was true.

"Yeah, I guess – hate for everything I pull out to be wet."

"Well, it would only be wet for an hour, or in your case, less. Remember, nothing toon created like that will last more than an hour, and you're not old enough for anything you do to hold for that long even."

_Also true._

"Once you get that done, I'll start showing you some 'chucking' – how's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan – definitely want to learn that."

'Chucking' – all the physical components of toon theory – taking a big fall or running into a wall without hurting yourself because you were able to turn your body into one big rubbery piece for a few seconds, or shrinking down to hide behind a small rock or skinny tree, or toonspeed – so you could run like hell from an angry victim who spotted your hand in their pocket.

That could come in very handy, especially after Thursday – he had accidentally been spotted because he took too long. Luckily, Wakko was not with him – he had been home with Dad and Dot while he went out by himself, but still, he needed to be more careful. Again, thank goodness he was fast, and he didn't have any aversion to hiding in a dumpster when the need arose.

"Well, get the water thing done first, then we'll worry about that." She glanced at Wakko. "How's he doing with accessing his hammerspace?"

Yakko looked at him as well. "OK – he mentioned feeling something cold yesterday – "

She beamed. "He did?"

"Yeah, though his wording was a bit odd...'like sticking my hand in the toilet water after the window's been open all night'."

She shook her head. "Typical boy."

"Typical Wakko actually. Anyway, I'm guessing...within the next week or so?" He trailed off and looked at her – she would know better than him.

She nodded. "Sounds close to right. When he finds it, remember to watch him so he doesn't go sticking some odd assortment of stuff back there."

Yakko nodded. That sounded like something he would do. Unfortunately, no toon could look in another toon's hammerspace, so it's not like he could check to make sure his brother wasn't doing something truly bizarre.

Goose was still talking. "Kids can be weird – he'll want to stick army men and leftover sandwiches back there."

"Wonder what that would smell like after a few weeks."

"You wouldn't smell anything until he reached back in there –then the stench would be enough to knock a dung beetle off his perch. Just keep an eye on him – you don't want that, and you certainly don't want him damaging the opening like –"

"Yeah, yeah, like Grifter Geef, I remember."

_Great, something else to do – make sure his brother didn't permanently injure himself by wedging the damn thing open with his bunny or something._

"You're such a charmer," she snorted. "He's got the golf ball – you still have that flower?"

"That hideous monstrosity? Yeah, I got it."

"Give that to him next – he's a lot younger, so remember he is going to take longer than you did. Just be patient with him."

"I'm always patient with him," he replied, a little affronted.

"I didn't say you weren't – just keep in mind something that took you a month to master might take him a month and a half or two. Same with Dottie there, when she comes of age. You're older – therefore - more determined which can work for and against you, and you understand more, especially with all the books you've read."

"Ok, ok, I'll keep my eye on him."

"OK – I have to go – I just got a new assistant at my next stop," she said, handing him his pay.

"Poor sucker has to be 'Puddles' I take it," he muttered.

"I asked for no comments from the peanut gallery."

"With me you'll get them anyway."

Goose rolled her eyes. "God isn't that the truth."

XXXXXXXXXX

_July 1990_

"Wow lady, you're gorgeous! Prettier than Jessica Rabbit!"

_What a can of corn._

"Why, you flatter me young man," the toon said, primping her grey bun and smiling at him.

Yakko barely refrained from rolling his eyes. If he lied anymore, his tongue was going to fall out. This woman didn't look anything like Jessica Rabbit...Well, they were both female, so he supposed that counted. Not for much.

Old, fat, with a huge pig snout and wearing a long purple dress and big floppy lavender hat, she looked more like Baloo Bear in drag rather than one of the prettiest toons in history.

Never taking his gaze off the woman, he was able to look out of the corner of his eye. Wakko was in the woman's purse and back out again.

_Damn, kid was good. Course, he had a good teacher._

"Not flattery ma'am - just the honest truth! Gosh, and you look so young..."

_There, that should put her over the moon._

"Oh, aren't you the cutest thing!" She exclaimed while pinching his cheek – it took all that he had in him to not pull away.

_Wakko was out of sight, time to end this farce._

"Thank you," he said in what he hoped wasn't a sarcastic tone. "I've got to go; I have to take a shower! See you!"

Blowing the woman a kiss, which she acted like she was grabbing out of the air, he quickly jogged off toward the alley that Wakko was supposed to be waiting for him in.

This was one of Wakko's first solo picks; Dad had been pushing for months for him to come out and start 'helping the family'. Yakko hadn't liked it, but finally agreed before he or his siblings incurred his father's wrath.

Yakko's agreement on this proposal had been contingent on a few of his own rules to both his father and Wakko.

Yakko was the mouth man – he was the distraction, the one people would see and likely remember should they put two and two together. He was also the one most likely to get grabbed, since he would be standing in front of them. He wanted the risk to be on him, giving Wakko time to get away should anything happen.

Wakko was going to make the grab, disappear back to their designated meeting place, and that was it. Not to attract attention and certainly not to play hero should anything happen. He was to run, period, back to the restaurant where Dad and Dot waited and get out of there.

Yakko rounded the alley's entrance and walked to the end, behind the dumpster, to see his brother sitting on a milk crate, looking anxious and nervous.

Seeing Yakko coming he stood up and ran to him, throwing his little arms around his waist.

"Did I do good?" He asked. "Did I?"

Yakko smiled down at him. "You did great Wakko! And you followed instructions – nice job!" He looked at his brother's empty hands – what'd he do, eat it? "Um, what did ya do with it?"

"Back here."

Wakko reached around to his own hammerspace and produced the wallet after a second of concentrating.

Yakko frowned at him. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't put anything back there until I said you were ready."

Wakko ducked his head then looked at him. "Yeah, but a few people were at the alley – I didn't want them to see."

_Ok, well, at least he was using his head._

"Fine, ok, but next time, don't panic – put it in your pocket, OK?" He picked Wakko up. "You don't want to hurt yourself – you'll be ready to use your hammerspace like me in awhile, OK?"

Wakko whined, "But it's been a long time-"

"You only found it in March – it hasn't been that long. Remember what we talked about then – that you can only put back there what I say you can put back there? Look, you're already starting to fritz – once you get that done, you'll be set and I'll give you more freedom with it, OK?"

Wakko nodded happily at him.

"OK - Can we do it again? Can we? It was fun!"

Yakko frowned again – he still thought all this was a lark.

"This isn't a game Wak – I've told you – we are not going to be doing this for the rest of our lives, remember?"

Wakko nodded again, then asked, "How come we do it?"

_Because our father is a lazy, evil, worthless, shiftless..._

"Because right now Dad has some bad people after him for money and this was his best idea. We're just getting dragged along for the ride."

_Please just accept that for now – I don't want to get into details about this..._

"Oh. Ok. When they're not after him for money, do we get to keep it?"

"No – when they're not after him for money, we won't be doing this anymore."

"What'll we do then?"

"I don't know."

"Can we go home? I want to watch TV – Ninja Turtles comes on today!"

_Ugh – I hate that show – the toons they'll give series to nowadays...and that Raphael…damn annoying voice…_

"We'll see – you still got work to do – remember that book you were supposed to read?"

"It's boring."

"You haven't read it yet."

"Cuz I know it's gonna be boring!"

Still carrying him, Yakko laughed and walked out of the alley toward the restaurant, The Glass Slipper bar and grill. Dad was in the window, watching them walk down the sidewalk, still holding Dot in his lap. She started pointing and laughing as Yakko and Wakko came into view, waving at them as they went by.

Yakko entered and placed Wakko in the booth. He leaned over to grab Dot, transferring the wallet to his father's eager fingers with a nod. Wakko had done really well, as bad as he felt admitting it. Taking a sniff, he could tell his father had been hitting his flask hard.

He quickly sat down, watching his father look in the wallet, and jumped when his Dad gave a tiny whistle. "That's more like it – almost three hundred dollars. Way to go kid," he said to Wakko, who looked thrilled at the praise.

_Brilliant Dad, don't congratulate him on finding his hammerspace, or the fact that he can already do long division, or that he's reading and writing – congratulate him on being a fine thief. Unbelievable._

"You still want the wallet weirdo?"

Yakko snapped back to the conversation. "Yeah – don't I always take them?"

_I haven't bothered to hide it for months now._

"Don't know why – stupid – keeping the evidence on you."

"No one can find them in my hammerspace. Besides, I told you before -"

"Yeah, yeah, - when you're some rich nambsy-pansy you want to pay all the money back," he muttered back in a disgusted tone. "What a load of horse shit. These people deserve it, if they're too to stupid to keep an eye on their stuff..."

Wakko and Dot both had been watching the verbal exchange, heads turning from their father to their brother then back again.

Yakko cringed, putting his hands over Dot's ears as his father went on a cursing rampage against people who were soft, trusting, too stupid to keep an eye on their items, and that they were just rich turkeys ripe for the plucking. Yakko wished he wasn't so loud while talking about this – so much for discussing the family business in a 'secret place'.

He hoped Dot didn't start to pick up Dad's more colorful language too. He had already had a few altercations with Wakko the last four or five months. Dad being around constantly had peppered his vocabulary with several wonderful adjectives and a verb or two, none of which were appropriate for a five-year-old.

A couple of swipes at Wakko's mouth with a bar of soap had mostly cleaned it up, but still, he really didn't want that sort of language coming out of either of his siblings' mouths.

While his father continued to drone on, Yakko handed his brother a menu.

"What do you think you're doing?"

_Stupid question._

"I think we're getting something to eat."

"No you're not – you're going back out again!"

"Oh come on," he hissed at his father, leaning across the table so he could speak softly but still be heard. "We're hungry – you've got almost three hundred already – you can't let us eat? Wakko's stomach's making so much noise that could give us away!"

Yakko watched as his father stood up and jerked Dot out of his arms.

Frightened, she started crying, stretching her arms out toward him.

"Go out, get one more, then you can eat – it's not even noon yet."

_What a damn..._

He killed the thought.

"Fine. Fine. You know, you could go out and do some of this too," he hissed. "It's not our debts were trying to cover."

Bouncing Dot on his knee, Slacko answered, "No, but it's her ass you're trying to save, isn't?" He gave Yakko a sly smile. "We had this talk before – I let you keep the younger one, you do what I say when you're out here. I've even been letting you have some control over his training," he continued, looking at Wakko. "Don't ruin a good thing. We're in a rich area of town we don't come to often – one more wallet and you'll be done for the week – how's that sound?"

Well, it was only Tuesday; it would be nice to have three days off before heading back to the library. It would give him plenty of time to practice his chucking abilities – he was still working on toonspeed...

"OK, fine. Damn. Wakko, stay here."

One of these days he was going to get himself and his siblings away from him, before he got them all arrested. Or killed.

"I want to come."

"No, I'll just grab something quick –"

"Please?"

_Damn – he was doing the look again._

Yakko sighed – he was such a sucker.

"Ok, ok; let's make this quick."

Waiting for Wakko to hop out of the booth, Yakko started scanning out the window, already looking for his next victim.

_XXXXXXXXXX_

_December 1990_

Yakko looked down at Wakko, then at his father.

"What do ya say kid - Christmas is coming - be nice to actually be able to grab a present or two for them, wouldn't it? Get a good amount, I'll split it with you - eighty-twenty."

"Oh, that's fair, " Yakko snorted.

_How stupid did his father think he was?_

Yakko looked down as Wakko tugged on his sleeve.

"Yakko, that's not a good split, unless we're getting the eighty…then it's a really good split."

Yakko patted him on the top of the head. "Thanks for clearing that up for me Einstein."

Wakko smiled and nodded.

Dad looked at him again, and then smirked, taking a drag on his cigarette and blowing the smoke out. Dot, sitting in his lap, coughed and then tried to catch the smoke ring.

"Don't smoke around her Dad, she's -"

"My kid. Don't forget it."

"Like you'd let me."

"Screw this - you going back out with that one or not?"

_Dad was at it again - just one more wallet - we can do this, or you can buy that…_

Yakko groaned. Yes, it would be nice to buy them something - he had only been able to buy Dot a cheap doll for her birthday, and Wakko got a ball on his. But, again, purchased with money he actually earned, and they both had seemed to like them.

"Fine, OK, just one more."

Hustling Wakko out of the booth and up the aisle, they went back out the door, listening to the carolers singing on the corner.

Wakko looked eager, spinning around to look at all the Christmas decorations, while Yakko was slightly more hesitant. He was nervous about being made, and this was a high class area of town – probably more security here than in most of the other sections of ToonTown, especially at this time of year.

When you've got half the Disney Princess', not to mention most of your huge stars and multimillionaires like The Rich's, The Max's, The Mouse's and The McDuck's all living in this section, you know security is going to be tight.

Yakko grabbed Wakko's hand as they crossed the street, avoiding pedestrian traffic, vehicles, and the occasional horse and carriage.

"Can I do one by myself?"

"No way."

"Please – I've been doing this for a long -"

"No. I mean it Wakko – you do not want to see what happens if you even think about grabbing something on your own. You're team operations only."

Wakko gave him a reproachful look.

Yakko looked down at him. "Look, if your gonna sulk, you're going back inside – if you're sulking and mess up –"

"I'm not gonna mess up," he mumbled.

"You might, if you don't have your mind on what we're doing, which could get us caught. Kill the 'tude or go back in - your choice."

"All right."

He didn't look any happier, but he didn't argue further either, so Yakko decided to let it go for now, but to keep an eye on him. Wakko didn't want to listen all the time.

Spotting a man in front of them, he quickly picked up the pace, Wakko trotting to keep up with him.

"Remember, anything happens, you run like hell back to that restaurant and get out of here, got it?"

"Yeah."

Hoping he understood the severity of the situation, Yakko nodded.

Catching up to the toon he had his eye on, a tall human with a red coat and a stupid looking tricorn hat, Yakko tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me mister?"

The toon turned around, and Yakko silently groaned; it was Captain Hook.

_Figures, out of all the toons on the street, he had to pick a star – a star with a big ass meat hook for a hand – wasn't this just perfect? Well, at least he was Disney – how much damage could he really do?_

Looking out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wakko continue walking a few steps to come up behind the toon.

"Can I help you," The Captain asked snottily, waving his hook at him as he did so.

"Hey, watch where you wave that thing buddy!" Yakko exclaimed, ducking down as the hook came within inches of his face.

"You stopped me you irritating child – what do you want?"

Wakko was making a grab for his pocket, when suddenly there was a cry from behind them.

"Thief – thieves! Behind you Captain – thieves!"

_Oh shit._

Yakko jerked his eyes up to see Smee, Hook's fat old assistant running toward Wakko, who now had his hand in the good Captain's jacket pocket.

His brother froze, wide-eyed, to look up at the Captain snarling down on him.

Then he gave a little half grin and started stammering an excuse.

"Uh...yeah...hi...I thought I saw a fairy fly down in there...wanted some dust..."

"Run!"

Yakko sprang into action, pushing Wakko away as the furious toon made a grab for him. Wakko landed on his rear but quickly got up, staring at him.

"But-"

"Now!"

Wakko took off running, holding a small money purse and disappeared into the crowd of toons that had begun to stop to watch. Smee started to chase him and then changed his mind, deciding to dig in his ear instead.

Yakko briefly saw a large silver pumpkin carriage with a blonde girl watching from a little window in the side before it disappeared from his view by something large, grey and flapping.

Yakko turned around to the Captain, who was raising his hook over his head.

"Arrrrrr - rogues! Partners in crime – filthy street thieves! I hate a thief!"

"Matey - that's rich, coming from a pirate."

Probably not the best time for a joke, but it sprung from his mouth before he could stop it.

Ducking the hook, Yakko concentrated and reached into his hammerspace, thinking of pies. Mentally envisioning what he wanted, he felt it materialize in his hand, the breeze pushing the metal pan into his hand.

Waiting until the enraged toon was directly in front of him; Yakko smirked and then pulled the pie out, smashing it into Hook's face.

"Well, what da ya know – I can finally pull a Banana Crème! Buh-bye now!"

With that, he took off in the opposite direction from his brother, calling on the toonspeed that he had recently mastered, hoping to lure them off of the rest of his family.

_Damn, I knew we shouldn't have come to this section of town – especially at this time of year – it's way too dangerous, but did Dad listen to me? No, of course not – and me, falling for the 'just one more'…stupid. Stupid! Hopefully Wakko got back to them and they all got out of here._

He suddenly fell face first on the sidewalk as someone or something jumped on his back. Smashing his face and head into the concrete, he felt a wave of dizziness hit him and he thought briefly he was going to get sick.

Panicked and refusing to go down without a fight, he kicked out, smashing someone in the gut, who swore loudly before jumping back on him, wrestling his arms behind his back.

Ignoring the pain radiating from his nose and teeth and every other part of his body, he kicked out again, catching someone in the shin.

Yakko froze as he felt a pair of HRC cuffs close around his wrists.

"You're under arrest kid. You got the -"

"He's a minor."

"He's a criminal."

"He's innocent," Yakko added, hoping that they would listen to him.

_Of course not – no one else did._

"Shut up ink-splot."

"Look, he can't be more than ten or twelve-"

_Ten you morons._

"Fine – know what? Screw it, call TIS – let them worry about him."

Yakko closed his eyes – he was so screwed.

As he felt himself being picked up off the ground, he looked into the faces of the crowd of toons surrounding him, glaring, interested, disapproving, amused, and a few sympathetic ones here and there.

His one hope was that Wakko and Dot managed to get away with their father now. Hopefully one day, they'd be able to get away from him too.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Run!"

"But-"

"Now!"

He heard the tone of Yakko's voice and took off – that tone either meant Yakko was really scared or really mad.

Not wanting to direct that towards himself, he took off; still clutching the little brown moneybag he pulled out of the greasy man's coat. He shoved it into his pocket – he didn't want another lecture about not putting anything into his hammerspace until Yakko said he was ready.

Being so small, he was able to avoid outstretched hands and kicking feet and paws and hooves as he dashed around in the crowd, losing sight of his brother as he ran around a white horse. The horse snorted at him, lashing out with a hoof, and Wakko threw himself on the ground to avoid the hit. Then he got up and ran again.

He was scared –really scared, but Yakko said to run, and he tried to listen to his brother, even though sometimes he didn't want to. Like now. Yakko was gonna get caught and leave them and he'd never see him again.

_Stop it_, he scolded himself. _You're acting like a baby. Yakko's smart – he'll get away – he always does. He said before he almost got caught a few times, but he always came back._

Yakko had told him to 'run like hell' back to the restaurant. Wakko thought for a second – it was on the other side of the street, but Yakko said to go back there – he didn't want to get in trouble for crossing the street by himself.

Hoping that he wasn't going to get a spanking, he dashed across the intersection and managed to avoid several vehicles that had the green light.

Jumping around a talking cab that screamed a bad word at him, he looked behind him. Almost no one seemed to be paying attention to him. Everyone was watching something happening at the other end of the sidewalk, and several toons were gathered around something.

Seeing several police cars pull up, he gulped and quickly went inside. Daddy could help him – that's what Daddy's are there for right?

Running toward the back booth that they were last in, he didn't see his father and he knew he should have. This was the right place, and his father was tall, taller than Yakko even, he should have seen his head above the booth.

Scared, he skidded to a stop. Daddy wasn't in the booth, but Dottie was, all by herself, clutching her teddy bear and sniffling, looking at him with big watery eyes, lower lip trembling.

_What was he supposed to do? Where was he? Why did he leave Dottie?_

Panicked, he tried to think of what Yakko would do. He really wished he was there.

Yakko would...

_Think, think..._

Yakko would get Dottie out of there first. Yakko said he was a big brother too, and he should protect Dottie, right?

A plan – get Dottie out, then think of what to do.

Grabbing his sister's wrist, Wakko pulled her out of the booth and began to drag her toward the door.

"Yakko?"

"Later Dottie!"

"Want Yakko!"

_Oh me too!_

"Ok – let's go get him!"

"Wakko let go!"

"Shut up you stupid baby and come with me!"

_Shouldn't have said that, it was mean, and it wasn't her fault she was just a baby and a girl..._

Ignoring her crying, he pulled her up the row of booths, trying to avoid the looks the other people were giving him. He wanted to help Yakko.

Getting to the glass doors, he looked out – the police cars were still there, and so were other cars – the police cars were black and white, but the other cars, the yellow and white ones – they were something else...something bad Yakko had said - the orphan police - TIS.

_Oh no – he was gonna be taken away..._

Willing himself not to cry like his sister, he saw several toons pointing toward the restaurant, and then, a few toons start walking quickly towards them. Those toons were wearing the same ugly yellow and white uniforms like their cars...

"We got to go Dottie, we got to go right now!"

"No – want Yakko right now!" she screamed back at him between her sobs.

_You're not the only one._

Running from the doors, still dragging the wailing Dot, he headed towards the back wall of the restaurant, there was a counter there and a set of swinging doors - the kitchen was back there…he could smell the food, and hear the banging of the pots and pan…maybe they could hide back there.

He skidded to a stop, feeling Dot run into his back as two woman toons - a human and a goat - came through the double doors, both wearing the yellow and white jumpsuits. They looked at him and pointed.

Giving a little yelp of panic, he pushed Dottie down an aisle, trying to keep her behind him – these people were supposed to be bad and he had to protect her.

He grabbed a fork off some toon's table; he couldn't fritz anything worthwhile yet, but he could probably stab someone with this if he had to.

"Hey kid, I'm using that!"

"I'm just borrowing it - I'll give it back!"

The toon lion started yelling for his waitress, and Wakko put him from his mind - he had other worries.

A woman, a human toon with ugly orange hair was coming toward him, and he jabbed the fork at her, still backing away. He took a quick glance behind him; the row of booths ended right before the wall - maybe they could squeeze through and get out the front door…

_They weren't taking Dot – they had his brother – maybe his Daddy – but not her too..._

"Go away - go away now!"

Dot was still crying, upset and confused. Her crying was making him nervous. She was trying to pull her hand away, but he was afraid to let go, if she ran, she could be caught, then what would he do?

He jabbed at the woman again, and she backed up, putting her hands up.

"Take it easy child, I'm not going to hurt you, either of you. I want to help you."

"I may be six - but I know a lie when I hear it!"

He took another jab at her, missing, but making her back up a step. Maybe he could get her out of the way enough that he could get out the door with Dot, get lost in the crowd, try to find Yakko…

"I'm not lying - you want to see your brother - that was your brother, right? You can be with him and help him…and who's that pretty little girl behind you? You're sister? She's cute too…just like you…and you're both upset…come on kid, put the fork down…"

"Move back - I'm warning you…"

Why wasn't someone helping them? All these stupid toons, mostly Disney from what he could tell, were just staring at them, like they were in a movie or something.

"Ok, kid, take it easy, you don't want to hurt me -"

"Believe what you want lady! Go away!"

Still gripping Dot's wrist while she howled in his ear, he thought, looking at the lady…

_Wasn't there two ladies in the ugly jumpsuits?_

Suddenly, he felt Dot being picked up and away from him, yanked right out of his grip. Then he felt himself being lifted up by the scruff of his neck.

Thrashing his arms and legs and screaming 'kidnapper' just like Yakko had told him to, he managed to kick his assailant in the sternum, earning a grunt, then he was thrust away from them, dangling in midair.

Twisting around, he was able to see the second woman - the goat - she was holding him with one hand, and Dot by the other - she had climbed over the booths to get them, and he hadn't even noticed. He tried to kick her again, and was given a shake.

"Stop that behavior now."

He wanted to spit at her, but his mouth was too dry. He just glared at her.

The first lady that had been talking to him smiled and came toward him. He jabbed at her with the fork, actually hitting her this time - not hard, but enough that she jerked her hand back.

"Got us a wild one Nanny," she said. She quickly came forward again, this time grabbing his wrist and twisting it roughly to the right.

He yelped in pain and dropped the fork.

"There," she said, smiling at him. "You don't need that - you could hurt someone."

"I was trying to," he yelled, kicking at her again.

"You're much too little to be acting like that," she said, frowning at him. She then looked toward Nanny, who still had a firm grip on him and his sister. "let's stick them in the car, get them down to processing."

"Want to stick HRC's on them Shirley?"

"Probably better - this little caveman," she said, gesturing toward Wakko, "probably has already breached his hammerspace if he's got one. Do you?" she asked him.

Wakko thought quick - what should he say?

Remembering what Yakko said about sometimes it's better to have secrets that stay in the family, he said, "Um, what's that?"

The woman, Shirley, shrugged. "Don't worry about it then kid."

The goat muttered something about poor street urchins who wouldn't have tutoring in that type of stuff, and held him and Dot toward the other woman.

Wakko tried to kick at the woman as she grabbed Dot's wrist and put a tiny bracelet-thing on it. She pulled out a small gold key from her pocket and locked the bracelet on his sister, who was still crying and trying to pull her arm away.

She then turned to Wakko, grabbing his right wrist, and snapped one on him even as he tried to pull away. After locking it, she let go of his wrist, and he examined his new jewelry - a rounded clear plastic band with a runny white liquid sloshing around in it.

Yakko had warned him about these too - he wouldn't be able to get to his Hammerspace now.

"Now, I believe you have something your brother stole?"

"My brother didn't steal anything," he yelled, kicking at her again.

"No Nanny, this one stole it - the other one was the prattle."

"Oh, got it - missed that before. So, Mr. Dodger, where is it?"

He looked at her like she was crazy - what was she talking about?

"Who's Dodger, and where's what?"

"It's in his pocket Shirley - I see the string sticking out."

"Not nice to steal kiddo," Shirley said, reaching over to grab the bag and avoiding his foot, which he again kicked toward her.

"That's mine - give it back!"

"Not yours kiddo - what's your name anyway?"

Wakko pressed his lips together and glared at her.

"Well we'll figure it out sooner or later. Come on Nanny, let's get them down to processing before I get kicked again."

"Yeah, the other one's screaming is getting on my nerves too."

Still dangling from the woman's grip, they were carried outside and through the crowd to one of the waiting yellow and white cars, being put in the back seat.

On his hands and knees on the seat, Wakko looked around. Dot was sitting on the seat wailing, snot running from her nose as freely as the tears were running from her eyes.

No door handles, the windows didn't go down, and there was a sheet of clear plastic between them and the driver. They were trapped.

"Put your seatbelts on."

"No," he screamed, kicking at the back of the driver's seat, having to lean all the way off his seat to reach it.

"Fine by me - we crash and you end up as little blinky bits of splatter on the windshield, don't come crying to me."

With that, the car began to drive off, taking them to whatever 'processing' was.

Frightened, he grabbed Dot, and huddled with her in the seat, wrapping his arms around her and feeling his tears mingling with hers, trying to give her comfort, as well as get some from her, and wondering if they were ever going to see their brother again.

End Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8 - In the System_

"Name?"

Yakko slumped down in the wooden chair and stared back at the toon - some beagle in the dark blue uniform of the ToonTown Police Department – Wishing-Star District.

_Happiest place on earth my ass._

"Come on, haven't got all day."

Yakko still stared back at him, noting that the officer's silver castle-shaped badge was incredibly shiny – the overhead light was catching it just right and reflecting in his eyes in the brightly lit holding room.

He shifted in the chair, hands still chained behind him, feeling his arms slowly and painfully going numb. He looked around the bare room; nothing on the walls, slick shiny white linoleum floor with black scuff marks in places, not a picture or window or a single interesting thing in the whole damn room - he had no choice but to listen to the beagle constantly ask him the same question.

_Over two hours of this already…_

"At some point your folks will file a missing person's report; we'll figure it out."

_You don't know my family very well._

"Look, pay attention to me kid."

Yakko turned to look at him again, hoping Wakko and Dot were at home. He missed them.

"Look, you want to hear something else? We picked up those kids you were with; your partner and the other one in the restaurant -"

Yakko jerked his ears up at that.

"What?"

_Gotta be the wrong kids…_

"Great, he's not a mute after all," the dog muttered. "Look, kid, I'm just doing my job. What's your name? And while you're at it, the names of the other two?"

_This was very bad..._

"What other two?"

_Can't be them..._

"I presume your brother and sister – boy in green shirt and black pants with a bit of a fighting streak in him, girl in a pink dress, crying holding a bear? Sound familiar?"

_Damn. He presumed right. So much for hoping they grabbed the wrong kids...and what about Dad? Did he get picked up?_

"They're scared ya know…really want their brother…"

"Where are they?"

"Ah, ah," the officer said playfully, wagging his finger at him like he was a naughty toddler. "Answer my question first. Name?"

He sighed, annoyed.

_If he didn't give the twit his name, who knows what would happen to his sibs._

"Yakko Warner."

"Beautiful – I'll get to go home on time after all."

_Jerk._

"Address?"

"99 Cambria Street Number 402, Plympton District."

"Marvelous – see how easy this is? Phone number?"

"Don't have one."

The officer grunted, then looked up, noticing Yakko's glare.

He began to chuckle. "Don't try to get tough kid - you might be looking at criminal charges. You're a minor, do you really want a record at your age?"

He looked down at his pad. "Say, what is your age?"

"Ten."

"Bit young for this nonsense. You a runaway?"

_Moron._

When he didn't answer, the officer continued.

"Date of birth?"

"August 7, 1980."

"Wonderful. Now, on to the other two -"

"I want to see them."

"In a while – I need this infor-"

"I'm not giving you another thing until I see them."

"Don't get lippy," the officer replied, shaking his pen at him. "The longer you hold out on this, the longer it's gonna be until you see those other two, and let me tell you, they're scared shitless – girl's a wreck, boy's trying to bite and kick every one that comes near em."

_That's my siblings._

"Now, if seeing you will calm them down, I'm all for that, but first, I need the information. They keep acting up much more they're gonna get hurt, ya know?"

_What's that mean?_

Noticing Yakko's look, he smiled. "So, want to start with the boy? Name?"

Yakko sighed. _Looks like I don't have much choice here_, he thought.

As he gave Wakko and Dot's information to the officer, he was quickly going over the entire mess in his mind, trying to move his arms as much as possible.

There was one cuff on each wrist, hooked together by an adjustable chain, pulled so tight that his wrists were touching. The cuffs were biting into his flesh.

They had him in a locked room; the least they could do was uncuff him from the back – put his hands in front of him or something. What did they think he could do?

Why the hell did Wakko and Dot get caught – Dad was supposed to get them out of danger, that was the deal – they should have been at home watching TV and eating sandwiches by now.

And where was Dad – did he get pinched too? If he was, he'd be on the other side of the station, in the adult processing center.

"Parents' name?"

"Slacko Warner."

"Occupation?"

_Full time creep._

"Currently unemployed."

"Current location?"

"He isn't here?"

"Your father?" The officer shrugged. "How would I know - I've been in here with you."

_What the hell was going on? Where was he?_

"I don't know."

The officer nodded, still filling out some form, and then continued.

"Mother?"

"Ophelia Warner – deceased before you ask."

"Sorry."

_How heartfelt._

"Yeah, sure you are. Can I see them now?"

"Give it a minute will ya? None of you are going anywhere you know."

_Yeah, I figured that out on my own._

"They'll let us know when everything's ready."

"When what's ready?"

"Transport."

"Home?"

_That was too good to be true if they could –_

"Yeah, right – it'll be a home, but not the one you're thinking of."

_When they say it's too good to be true it usually is._

"Until we get a hold of a parent, you three are wards of Toon Inquiry Services. You'll be put up in one of the houses until someone claims you. Of course, if no one ever claims you, you'll stay there until you're either adopted out or reach the age of eighteen."

_Jeeze, make it sound any more bleak?_

"Though to be honest with you kid, the little ones have a better chance of adoption than you do."

_Over my dead body._

"He'll come - send someone to the house."

_I hope I'm right about that...because he didn't just abandon them...he couldn't be that despicable…_

_Could he?_

"Yeah, sure kid, I - "

There was a knock at the door, and it was opened by a really ugly old goat – grey fur, knotty horns, and giant teeth – wearing a white and yellow jumpsuit.

_Lovely – the TIS goon squad - and she had an armed officer with her._

She looked at him, then said, "I presume you're the older brother of those other two. Follow me – maybe you can calm them down."

"Now why would they need to be calmed down?" he asked, struggling to stand, finally using his tail to push himself off the chair. "I'm sure you treated them just lovely – I know I've enjoyed my time here."

"Shut up smart ass."

"Think maybe you can take the cuffs off? That will probably calm them down more, not seeing their brother in chains."

"I'll undo them, just leaving the one HRC on your wrist, if you promise no funny stuff – you try to fight or make a break for it, they go back on."

"Fine," he muttered, turning around to have them undone. His shoulders were killing him; he'd been in the damn things almost three hours.

Feeling her grab his arm and unlock the cuffs, he almost moaned in relief when he was able to move them again.

He pulled his arms forward; his left wrist was free, but his right wrist still had a cuff on it.

Trying to work the numbness out of his shoulder muscles, he smirked; the woman and the officer were watching him like he was going to attack at any moment. He wasn't that threatening was he?

"Let's go kid - we got a ride to take."

"Thought I was being charged?"

"Your victim got his property back; no charges at the present time," the officer said, still watching him.

_Well, one problem down._

The goat added, "But since we can't get in touch with a parent or guardian -"

"Try sending someone to the house, we don't have a phone."

"Big surprise," she muttered.

Yakko felt his fur bristling. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing - get moving kid - you can calm those two monster siblings of yours down."

She began pushing him down the hall, staying behind him, the chain from the HRC's dangling in her hand like a warning. The officer lead them up the hall, past other holding rooms - he could hear faint voices and sounds coming from behind the doors; talking, yelling, sobbing…

"They're not monsters - you probably scared them, treated them-"

"Uh-huh. We didn't do anything to them; we've treated them fine - even put them in the play room."

"I can just imagine how cheery that is."

"Shut it smart ass. Just doing my job, picking up delinquents."

_Delinquents?_

"Yeah, great job, catching a three and six year old," he drawled. "You're a real She-Ra aren't ya?"

She didn't answer.

The officer stopped at a door and stepped to the side as the TIS woman stood facing it, in his way.

Yakko heard a quiet sobbing coming from behind the door, and he roughly knocked the woman out of the way, ignoring her yell of protest and her threat of putting the chain back on his cuff as the officer told her to calm down.

Pushing open the door, he entered what looked like a holding room trying to be a nursery of some sort.

While the walls were still the same dreary eggshell color as the one he had been in and the floor the same scuffed while linoleum, there were a few scattered toys here and there. A table held some art supplies and a notepad; a couple of goofy posters on the wall - a kitten hanging from a branch, another of Mickey and Minnie Mouse, a movie poster of _Oliver and Company_…

Hearing another sob, he looked toward the far corner. He spotted a white bookcase with a couple of books on the shelves and coming out from behind the side, a black tail, tip twitching…

Running across the room, he slid to a stop next to it and crouched down, feeling so many emotions; happy; scared; terrified, depressed; relieved…

Wakko was huddled down with his eyes closed, trying to use his body to cover Dot. His head was pressed down on her head, her face buried in his chest as she continued to sob. He was trembling, so was she - they didn't see him...

Not wanting to risk startling them, he reached a hand out to get their attention, quietly saying, "Guys? Wak? Dottie?"

He suddenly had two armfuls of screaming wailing shaking fur as both of them flung themselves at him, almost knocking him backwards.

"I tried Yakko - I tried to get us away-"

"Yaaaaaaakko-oh-oh-ooooo!"

"I couldn't find Daddy - he was gone-"

"Mean lady Yakko -"

"Did they hurt you -"

"Dottie scared - couldn't see you -"

"Shhhh - it's gonna be OK guys, we'll be alright…"

_What did Wakko mean, 'Daddy was gone' - 'couldn't find him'…_

"Yakko - I tried to -"

Yakko looked behind him quickly - the TIS woman was standing in the doorway watching them. Better not give out too much information…

"Shhhh - not now Wakko. We'll talk in a bit," he said, wiping some of the tears from his face with his glove. "You OK?"

Wakko, still crying, nodded, burying his face in Yakko's neck. Dot was wailing into the right side of his neck, too inconsolable to speak any more.

Giving his brother a small smile, Yakko stood up, curling his tail around Wakko's shoulders as he shifted Dot to a more comfortable position. Wakko immediately clung to his pants leg and leaned against him.

Yakko sneered at the woman. "Treated 'em fine huh?"

"Treated like any other kids. Think they're special?"

_Of all the moronic questions._

"Actually…yes."

She shrugged and turned to leave the room. "Whatever. Let's –"

Yakko took Dot's wrist for a second, then looked down at Wakko's.

"You gotta be kidding me – you put HRC's on a three and six year old?"

"We put them on all –"

"She doesn't even have her gloves yet!"

_No wonder they were traumatized...wonder what else they did to them._

"Doesn't matter. Quiet," she ordered when she saw him going to speak again. "Let's go kiddies."

"Where?"

"Your new home."

_That didn't sound good._

Wakko, clutching his left leg, was slowly stopping his crying, wiping his nose and eyes on his gloves, while Dot was still sobbing softly into his neck.

Both looked at him, and he looked back at them, utterly clueless.

_For once he'd be happy if his father walked through the door._

XXXXXXXXXX

The TIS woman, whom he was told to refer to as 'Nanny', lead them out to a waiting vehicle, a yellow and white sedan.

Yakko followed, almost stumbling several times since Wakko had refused to let go of his pants leg since he latched onto it in that nightmare of a nursery. He wanted to laugh; the officer walked behind him the entire way, watching...he felt like a real criminal – maybe he'd change his last name to Berkowitz.

Another woman was at the car, a human toon with an unfortunate hair color in a strange reddish-orange color.

With a tightlipped smile, she opened the rear door to the car, gesturing them into the back seat.

Yakko gestured Wakko to get inside, and he hesitated.

"It's OK Wakko - just hop inside."

_Before Nanny has me chained up again or tells the officer to shoot us._

"You're going too?"

"Yep, I'm definitely going with you."

_Like I'd leave you guys willingly._

Wakko nodded and climbed inside, turning to watch as he climbed in, making sure not to hit Dot's head as he did so. He quickly yanked his tail out of the way as the woman slammed the door.

He took a look at his little Dottie, still trembling in his arms; she was whimpering, but had quieted considerably, head resting on his shoulder with a death grip on his neck.

Wakko scooted close to him, practically climbing in his lap as the two women got in the front seat, the car started, and they began to drive off, being followed by the officer in one of the black and whites.

_How dangerous did these idiots think they were?_

Yakko did a quick look around; same as the police cars - plastic partitions separating them from the driver, no door handles, windows that didn't go down - trapped like the dangerous criminals they supposedly were.

With a small sigh, he leaned back in the seat, still holding Dot on his left side and putting his other arm around Wakko, pulling him in for a hug.

"Where are we going Yakko?"

"We're going to…"

_Crap, what was he supposed to say?_

"Ehhhhh - we're going to be staying at a new place, hopefully it will only be a few days…"

"I wanna go home Yakko."

"Me too kiddo. Probably real soon OK? In the meantime, think of this as an adventure."

_Keep telling myself that too._

"I don't want an adventure."

"I'm not in the mood for one myself either, but right now, we don't have a choice. The three of us just stick together, OK?"

"You're not going away again, are you?"

_Damn, what to say? Can't lie to him, I have no idea what they plan on doing to us…have to fight like hell if they try to separate us though._

"I hope not Wakko, I really hope not."

"Yakko, it's my fault -"

_What did he say?_

"Stop that." Grabbing Wakko's chin, he gently tipped his face up to look at his own. "None of this is your fault, OK? This is someone else's fault, but definitely not yours."

Wakko wiped his eyes, asking, "Who's then? I couldn't keep them from grabbing Dottie and me, and -"

"Look, remember what I said before? We'll talk about this when we're alone." Seeing Wakko's face fall, he continued. "I want to hear what happened though - I know you did the best you could - I'm proud of you, OK?"

Getting a small smile from Wakko, he nodded and cuddled further into his chest.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

While giving his brother a bit of a confidence boosting talk, Yakko had been trying to keep track of where they were being taken, but with all the turns, he really wasn't sure. They had left Wishing-Star District, and were now in FoulFellow District.

He groaned - _more low rent toons…the ones who never made it…_

Mentally making a note of where everything was, including a bus-stop a block away, he looked up at a simple building on top of a grassy hill.

It looked like a warehouse - just a simple rectangle cinderblock building.

The car was slowing, approaching a long paved driveway. Taking a sharp right-hand turn, the car began to go up the driveway, pulling up to the building and finally stopping at a large overhang porch.

An old badger lady opened the door, stepping out onto the porch and waving at the car. Several children, all wearing grey button down shirts and black pants or skirts, popped up behind her, staring at them through the car's window. He stared back at them; he felt like a museum exhibit.

Wanting to take his eyes off the group for a minute, he squinted to read the sign beside the door: _The Brutus-Nero Home for Children._

_Cripes, could this get any worse?_

Carrot-Top got out of the driver's seat and opened his door, motioning them to get out. Yakko climbed out, looking over the place. As he did so, he felt Wakko immediately latch back onto his leg.

"Let's go kids, get you set up," ordered Nanny, and she herded them up the porch stairs, the officer still following behind them.

Filled with trepidation, Yakko walked, still scanning the area, for what he wasn't sure yet, but it was good to at least have an idea about the layout of this place.

Walking in the front door, he found them in a large foyer area. In front of him was a long hallway; to the left was a flight of stairs that disappeared up into a dark corridor. To the left, he could see a sitting room with a television and several chairs and tables, with a few children scattered here and there watching the TV or writing.

They were escorted down the hallway to an office that said 'Director of Services'.

"Go inside, sit, and don't touch anything," Nanny ordered.

Yakko stuck his head inside and didn't bother to hide the chuckle. There really wasn't much to touch; a desk and chair, with two hard wooden chairs in front of it, a couple of really ugly pictures on the wall, and a floor lamp. He thought their apartment had Spartan furnishings.

"I'll try to refrain Nanny," he drawled. "Gonna be hard though; it's a real child's wonderland in- "

Muttering something that he was sure wasn't child friendly, she gave him a hard shove in the back, forcing him inside. He almost fell – Wakko was hanging onto his leg like a chigger.

Nanny slammed the door behind them, and Yakko heard voices talking behind the door quietly. The wood was too thick though; he couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Dottie doesn't like it here."

Yakko looked at her – she had finally raised her head off his shoulder, and was looking at him with red rimmed eyes.

"Yakko doesn't like it here either Dot; I gotcha though, OK?"

Prying Wakko off his leg, he lifted him into one of the chairs, taking the other for himself.

"What's gonna happen Yakko?"

Yakko shrugged. "I have no idea; I'm guessing they'll hold us here until they can get a hold of Dad."

Wakko nodded, and was about to say something else when the door suddenly opened, an oily looking human toon wearing a beige suit walking in.

Dot and Wakko had jumped when the door opened, and now stared at the toon with wide eyes; even he was giving the man a second look – this guy was greasy - he was practically oozing across the floor.

A second later he was followed by a tall thin wan-looking opossum toon -wearing a cloak of all things - who fixed them with a nasty gaze, then proceeded to look out the window.

"I am Mr. O'Leaginous, and I run The Brutus-Nero Home for Children, FoulFellow District. Until such time as your parent may be reached, you'll be residing here with us."

"What does that mean?" Wakko asked, and then bit the corner of his lip when he turned to look at him.

Yakko grabbed his hand and held it as Mr. O'Leaginous continued to speak, sounding like he recited this speech to every child that had the misfortune to come through those doors.

"This is the assistant director of the home, Mr. Malocchio," he gestured toward the opossum, who had not even turned around.

"If no parent or guardian can be located, you will be given a court date, where it will be determined which home you will be sent to until you are either adopted or reach the age of eighteen."

"We stay together though, right?"

Mr. O'Leaginous gave him a bitter smile. "Not always, no. It's too hard to adopt out multiple children. We have three houses -"

"You can't split us!" Wakko yelled, surprising everyone in the room.

"Be quiet - we can and we will do whatever is necessary in order to get any child adopted."

Yakko exchanged a terrified glance with Wakko as the oil stain continued to speak.

"Now, as I was saying, breakfast is at 7:30 A.M., then there is school, lunch is at 12:30 P.M., chores at 4:00 P.M., an hour of free time, then dinner at 6:00 P.M., two hours of time to do your schoolwork, another hour of free time, then lights out. You'll be given a uniform to wear."

During this entire statement, no one had moved, and he continued on, his voice finally changing inflection as he finally got to change up from the first part of his introduction.

"There has been no contact at your apartment; therefore, a court date to determine your custody situation has been set in Junior Toon Court System on Monday, January 14, 1991. If your parent has not contacted the authorities by this date, he'll have to appear in court to explain why he hasn't, and argue why he should retain custody of you."

_Court? Separate? Adopt out? Argue – his father? Tasks? What? And it was over three weeks away – it was only December 19th ...Geeze, Happy Holidays…_

"Ehhhhhh – 'scuse me – what about these?" Yakko asked, pointing to the cuff on his wrist. "When are we gonna lose 'em?"

"They're not going to be taken off. We don't have teachers or the fund -"

"You just said school - "

"Basic schooling – reading; writing; math. We don't have the funding to teach such silliness as toon theory. You'll be sufficiently educated so you can find employment when you come of age in a good stable job."

_Well damn. How was he supposed to get them out of this situation if he couldn't do anything?_

The door opened again, and the badger woman walked in, smiling at all of them.

"You can go with Ms. Garbo now. She'll give you uniforms and show you your sleeping arrangements."

Afraid if he stayed in the room with him much longer he was going to break out from grease exposure, Yakko nodded, gesturing for Wakko to hop out of the chair. Keeping his hand on his brother's shoulder and not sparing Mr. Oilslick or his assistant a second glance, Yakko followed Ms. Garbo out of the room and back down the hall, mind reeling.

Going down a flight of stairs, she lead them to the basement, where they were each given two pairs of black pants and two grey shirts, as well as two grey shirts and two black skirts for Dot from a supply room.

Wakko frowned and whispered to him, "I don't like these Yakko – they're ugly and they smell weird."

Yakko sniffed; the whole place smelled weird.

"Just take them for now – we'll figure out something later, OK?"

"OK."

The woman turned and headed back up the stairs, never saying a word to any of them.

Yakko followed her, keeping an eye on Wakko.

_All in all, this is gonna suck_, he thought.

XXXXXXXXXX

"What's that mean – I can't leave?"

"Means exactly that, you can't leave the grounds –"

He heard his brother mutter 'the hell I won't' and held back a giggle. He had only been there two days and knew Mr. O'Leaginous wasn't very friendly – he liked to yell.

_A lot._

He was really fat and mean – Yakko just wanted to say goodbye to his friend, but Mr. O'Leaginous wouldn't let him. He wouldn't even let Yakko use his phone to call the library.

_And he wanted to split them up. That didn't make any sense._

He had a man that did a lot of stuff for him, Mr. Malocchio. He was pretty mean too – and he didn't like him because he liked to stare at everyone – it gave him the creeps.

"Look, I have a job –"

"At your age, I find that highly unlikely."

"Listen you schmuck- are we prisoners -"

"Shut up kid – you're in my place, and I said you're not leaving the property."

_He's kind of a bully too._

Wakko fidgeted in the chair and watched his brother and Mr. O'Leaginous fight about it. Swinging his legs, he looked around the office – he didn't have a lot of stuff.

Mr. Malocchio had hauled him and Yakko into the office for being too near the front gates – no one had told them that they couldn't go within seventy-five feet of the gate, and no one had told them they couldn't leave the property. And they had just been looking...

_Couldn't see their sister when they wanted to, couldn't leave the property ever, couldn't eat when they wanted to, couldn't watch what they wanted to, couldn't wear what they wanted to..._

He felt like he was being punished for something, but he didn't really know what. At least when Yakko punished him, he knew what it was for.

_These people were just mean._

As Yakko and the bully continued to argue, Mr. O'Leaginous stood up, and Wakko spotted something in his jacket pocket – a bit of gold sticking out. Wakko squinted his eyes; it was a key – a whole ring of keys!

He gave a little smile. Keys were fun – with keys, you could unlock all sorts of things you weren't supposed to unlock...

_Yakko said to never grab anything unless he gave permission though..._

"Look – I have to go back – at least one more time – she's gonna think I-"

"You and this other hellion can just go back to the dormitory until dinner."

Yakko jumped out of his chair and went to say something else, but was stopped by Mr. O'Leaginous.

"Continue to argue, and you'll miss dinner... and the opportunity to see your sister today."

Yakko made a huffing sound and placed his left fist briefly to his mouth – a sign that he was very mad.

Wakko glared at the bully. They didn't get to see their sister very much – one of the overseers said that girls had to sleep in one room and boys in another – the first night here that smiling badger woman had ripped Dot screaming out of Yakko's arms. Yakko had been sad all night, holding him while they sat on his bed, not really talking much.

When Yakko wasn't talking, things were bad.

Wakko missed his sister, but she seemed to be taken care of – she was in a room with three other little girls that cried a lot. Dot cried a lot anyway – she missed being with her brothers was what he thought.

_Her brothers missed her too._

Luckily it was only across the hall from the room where he and Yakko were – they shared their room with three other boys; a human toon, a turtle toon, and a bunny toon, all around Yakko's age, and five empty beds. He'd been crawling into bed at night with his brother though. He was scared, and Yakko didn't seem to mind.

_Maybe Yakko was scared too, though Yakko didn't seem to get scared very often._

Mr. O'Leaginous was coming around the desk as Yakko continued to argue with him.

Yakko turned his back, and Mr. O'Leaginous grabbed his shoulder, yanking him around, and Wakko clenched his fists, looking at the keys again.

_Those will help him...he won't be too mad at me...and I can kick the bully._

He jumped out of the chair, running the short distance to Mr. O'Leaginous and kicked him in the shin, hard. As he did so, he reached into his jacket pocket and grabbed the keys, palming them like he had been shown and throwing them into his pants pocket just as the bully threw his head back and yelled.

Yakko looked at him, his face showing half shock, half amusement.

Wakko cringed slightly – hopefully he wasn't mad at him.

He smirked though, saying, "Nice aim bro – should have kicked higher though."

Wakko grinned at him, happy that Yakko wasn't upset and that he hadn't seen him grab the keys, when he suddenly felt himself being lifted up by his collar. Mr. O'Leaginous had picked him up and was glaring at him.

His shirt was cutting into his neck. He tried to kick him, but his legs weren't long enough to reach him.

_He hated being little._

"Put him down!"

"Your brat of a brother dares to-"

"He's not a brat! He's trying to protect me! Remember – you're the one who grab-"

"Shut up!"

Wakko felt himself dropping as the bully let go of his collar, but Yakko caught him before he reached the floor.

"Just go back to the dormitory – get out of my sight – and keep that one out of trouble," he said, pointing toward Wakko.

He was going to kick him again, but Yakko sat him on the floor and grabbed his hand.

"Let's go Wak," he muttered, stiffly walking out of the room.

Leading him up the stairs, Yakko was unusually quiet, which was never a positive sign.

Opening the room to the dormitory, Yakko let go of his hand and went to the window, crossing his arms and looking out on the lawn as he leaned against the wall.

Wakko heard him snort and he closed the door.

"I just wanted to go back and say good-bye – is that too much to ask? Hell, they got us trapped here; they threaten to keep me away from my sister, what sort of place is this..."

Wakko frowned at his mumblings and walked to him, putting his arms around his waist, looking out onto the yard too. It was pretty; lots of grass and trees.

_Wish we could sleep outside – it was nicer out there._

"So let's leave."

_Please please please…I don't like it here._

"We can't 'leave' Wak – as foolish as I probably am for saying this, I'd like to see what happens at JTCS, not to mention, we have nowhere else to go; what are we going to do, live on the streets? I can't even get in my hammerspace –any money I have is there, which isn't much – we'd be in a world of trouble if something happened, not to mention I can't take care of two little kids like that…not totally supporting them…I've done close enough, I probably could do it but still - "

As Yakko rambled, Wakko thought.

_He wasn't supposed to take anything without Yakko's permission, but he had. He didn't listen to his brother all the time._

He could feel the ring of keys in his pocket; they were heavy and were dragging his pants down on that side. Feeling guilty, he bit his lip; Yakko had told him he had a habit of biting the left corner of his lip – that's how he knew if he was upset or thinking hard or lying. He tried to remember not to do it, but he forgot a lot.

He reached a hand into his pants pocket, feeling the ring and keys with his fingers.

_One of those keys would probably unlock the cuffs; maybe then Yakko would say they could get Dottie and leave._

"Um...Yakko..."

Yakko was still talking.

"Yakko? Big brother? Yakko?"

_Yakko was still talking. Yakko liked to talk. Sometimes he wished Yakko would listen more though._

He shrugged and started pulling on his brother's sleeve. Finally, Yakko stopped talking and looked down at him.

"I have something... It might help...Promise you won't get mad?"

Yakko frowned, but finally gave him a curt nod.

Swallowing, Wakko reached into his pocket, pulling the ring of keys out and handing it to him.

Yakko giving him a hard stare, which he shrunk back a little from.

_He promised not to get mad..._

"Wakko, I told you before don't ever take anything without permission! You could have bee -"

"You promised not to get mad!"

"Never doing that again," he muttered.

_He's mad, maybe try again._

"But now you can go to the library – you wanted to see Grandmother SweetStrudel again – you can get into your hammerspace to get money," he pointed out, hoping Yakko would see what he was saying and not be upset anymore - at least at him.

Yakko stared down at him for a second, running his hand through his hair, before smiling and picking him up, giving him a hug.

"Thanks bro - do me a favor?"

Wakko nodded – his brother was happy again.

"Please don't ever do that again – the greaseball and his creepy sidekick would probably flatten you if they knew you grabbed them."

XXXXXXXXXX

He climbed the fence, snagging his pants leg in the process – he might have gotten toonspeed down, even if he couldn't do it for very long, but he had yet to really learn any other Chucking abilities.

_Looks like I never will now_, he thought, annoyed.

Jumping down on the other side, he gave a little wave at Wakko, who was watching from under a tree on the grounds. He was supposed to be inside doing some menial chore, but wanted to come out to watch him leave. Yakko had wanted to say good-bye to Dot too, but she was with the matron, Ms. Garbo.

She stayed with the younger girls, and she had denied him access to her this morning, stating that he could see her in the afternoon, without giving him any explanation. She had actually closed the door and locked it in his face. He had pounded on it for several minutes before Mr. Malocchio had come by and basically dragged him off to breakfast in the large dining hall located in the basement, grabbing Wakko while he was at it.

Course, Wakko had kicked the stuffing out of him when he had grabbed Yakko.

He didn't like his sib putting himself in any danger, especially on his account, but he had to admit, it was a nice kick - he'd bet even now Mr. Malocchio was nursing a bruise on his shin.

_He didn't like being denied access to his siblings - they were his family - how could they even think of doing that…_

Wakko waved back to him, leaning against the tree and watching with a frown on his face.

_He's angry at me...he'll get over it...couldn't bring him, not this time._

He felt really bad about that; Wakko really deserved to say good-bye to her, Dot too.

He couldn't risk bringing him, and Dot was watched very carefully, probably because of her age, but he wasn't sure. He was willing to accept any risk for sneaking out like this, but he wasn't going to allow his sibs to bring their 'caretakers' wrath down upon their heads.

Wakko had been beside himself when he found out that he was leaving, and Yakko had been a little hurt; he had thought he was going to leave them for good. Yakko had hoped Wakko trusted him a little more than that – he would never leave them. If they ever got out of this place, it would be together.

Like he told him and Dot, _family sticks together._

He checked his watch – 9:18 A.M. – he should have plenty of time to get to the library and explain to her what had happened, though he wasn't sure how he was going to tell her that he was picked up for theft and their father had apparently abandoned them. Three days and still no word from him.

_Maybe something had happened to him..._

He was definitely stopping by the apartment – Dad might be there – if he wasn't, he wanted to grab a few things. Some things can't be replaced.

Yakko used the ring of keys Wakko had picked and unlocked the cuff on his wrist, hiding it in the bushes outside the fence.

Concentrating, he reached around and felt for his hammerspace, feeling a slight bit of panic when he didn't immediately find it. Fortunately, his fingers tripped on it, and panic gave way to relief. He was being stupid - he had read that the cuffs could eventually cut off your access to your hammerspace, but only if worn for a very long time - years, not days. Apparently, if you wore them for days, the effects were only for a few seconds before they went away.

He put the keys in, feeling them whisk away and thought about his wallet, which materialized into his hand, battered and worn, but a comforting familiar feel. Pulling it out, he looked inside – twenty-three dollars. No fortune, but it was all the money he had – a years worth of savings – more than enough to get him to the library by bus.

Yakko quickly ran up the sidewalk toward the bus stop, standing around the corner so that he would stay out of view of the house.

After a fifteen minute wait, he saw the bus come barreling down the street, and he ran to the stop as the bus came to a halt.

Throwing his fare in the box and telling the driver where he needed to go, he was informed that he would have to get off in Clampett and take another bus over to Plympton.

_Fine, just as long as he got there._

He sat in a seat and tried to formulate his thoughts.

XXXXXXXXXX

After a very long bus ride, a frightening trip into Clampett, and a very relief filled trip away from it in another bus, he was in Plympton.

_Home sweet home._

Seeing the grocery store, he got a pang of homesickness, something he never thought he would get about his apartment, let alone a food store.

This was probably going to be the closest he would get to the library. He got off the bus and began to jog in the opposite direction, back toward the library, checking his watch – 10:38 A.M. – he still had time.

Quickening his pace, he finally saw it, and felt a bit of relief, and hoped he was making the right decision.

Shooting up the stairs, he opened up the door, reaching into his hammerspace and pulling out all the books that were due. He felt a bit of regret – he wouldn't be able to rent any more.

_At least for now…he wasn't totally writing his father off - he still might show up…_

Trying to catch his breath, he began to slowly walk toward the children's section, a walk he had made a hundred times before… Remembering back to his first week working, he didn't remember it being this hard.

Reaching the children's section, he hesitantly walked in, spotting Goose putting cookies out on the table, her back to him, dressed in a white muumuu with purple flowers.

He couldn't resist smirking a little, she had no idea he was back there, he'd never really been able to surprise her -

"Come in squirt, I know you're back there."

Yakko frowned, but walked in the rest of the way, going up to her.

_So much for surprising her._

"You're early, I got here early today too, and - "

She turned around to look at him and stopped in mid-sentence, staring at him. Seeing the grey shirt and black pants, her eyes widened then closed, and she gave a sad sigh.

"TIS?"

Yakko nodded solemnly, still looking at her.

"I lose more good assistants that way," she mumbled. "When?"

"Three days ago; I wanted to…I had to say…I want to say…"

He trailed off, confused; he finally got here, and now, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

She nodded. "Do you want to talk about it? What happened?"

_Did he?_

She had never pushed him to talk about anything regarding his family; at the same time, it might be nice to tell someone – he certainly didn't have anyone to rely on at the present time, and if it ever got out what happened, he would like her to hear it from him – she deserved that much; she had placed a lot of trust in him in the past...

Yakko took a breath, then nodded.

A family of duck toons wandered back into the section, the children starting to run to the table, the parents going to sit in the chairs along the wall.

The children, two boys about Wakko's age, slowed and looked at him and Goose.

Goose smiled at them.

"Come on children, you can have some cookies; we're just talking." She looked at Yakko. "Let's go somewhere for a bit."

Yakko nodded, and followed her out of the section, through the library, taking a turn at the biography section, and heading down a bright corridor.

She opened a door, leading him inside to some sort of break room/lounge type place - a couple of tables, a few snack machines in the corner.

She sat at a round table, and he pulled a chair out and sat across from her, resting his head in his hands - this was more depressing and embarrassing than he thought it was going to be. He took a deep breath, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

_He shouldn't have come._

He jumped and looked up when he felt something touch his shoulder. Goose had leaned over and was rubbing his shoulder. He had to fight hard not to flinch under her gaze; unwavering blue eyes staring into his own black ones.

Scrutinizing his face, she murmured, "it's ok kid, it's ok. Take your time."

He quickly looked down at the table, hands clenched tightly on the top.

_Oh jeeze, he was going to cry; he'd barely cried when he told her about Mom dying; how upset he was that he missed saying anything to her by less than an hour, no matter what she was like, she had her moments and he still did miss her…_

Slowly, she got up with an almost cat-like grace - a wonder for a woman of her size - three steps and she was beside him; he could feel her muumuu brushing against his sleeve.

Kneeling beside his chair, she brought her chubby hand up to the nape of his neck and pulled him forward so that his head was resting on her shoulder.

"Tell me when you're ready, OK?"

_Nerves, stress, shame, fear, worry…_

It was too much, and feeling like an idiot, he started crying.

Turning his head and wrapping his arms around her neck, he sobbed for about five minutes while she rubbed his back and murmured inconsequential statements into his ear. He had started to try to choke out what happened and she silenced him, telling him that she had time, and he should take his.

After what was probably the longest sobbing session of his life, he was able to pull himself together; he knew she didn't have that much time - she had a session to get to.

Wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand he looked at her, mumbling an apology.

"I've had worse squirt, you don't need to stress over that."

"Stressing because I'm sobbing in the middle of a library like a baby," he muttered, embarrassed.

_What was wrong with him?_

"There's nothing wrong with a good cry now and then – it's cleansing – and when you're through, you can look at the situation with a different frame of mind. Besides, if TIS is involved, you probably have a reason to be upset. Now then, think you're ready to tell me what happened?"

Yakko nodded, inhaled and, not bothering to even gather his thoughts, began; telling her everything from the past year. He just stared off and rambled about his father's training of him; first with the flourishes and shuffles, then with coins, moving on to studying each pocket and where the valuables likely were, the shapes and sizes, how to reach into them without anyone knowing, his father getting attacked, how he had a hammerspace full of wallets he one day wanted to return with the money he stole and how stupid that probably was...

Not even taking a breath, he continued - talking about being made to train his brother, his father had used his sister as collateral to ensure that he continued, his father's disappearance – he apparently abandoned his sister and brother; him too; JTCS in January – who knew if he was going to show up; stuck in a home with no idea what was going to happen next and terrified he might be separated from his siblings; they already had him separated from his sister...

When he was finished, he simply stopped talking, a little stunned with the long babbling outburst and confession. He had always been a talker, but really, where had that come from? Hell, all he had originally wanted to do was tell her good-bye and thanks.

Though he had to admit; he did feel slightly better.

Looking at her, he felt a little guilty laying all that on her; she still had her hand on his shoulder, but she had a strange pinched look on her face, like she just bit into a lemon.

"Sorry, didn't mean to-"

She cut him off. "I've gone through this before. Working each week in the districts I do, choosing all my assistants from there, you think I've never dealt with this situation before?"

Yakko looked at her; if she chose kids in situations like him, she went through it a lot.

"I see you got the HRC off. Dare I even ask how?"

Looking slightly chagrined, he said, "Wakko stole the director's set of keys."

She actually laughed. "Well, having a bit of a talent for it is not all bad."

_She thought this was funny?_

"No, but he could have been caught – look what's happened already-"

"Calm down kiddo, I didn't say it was ideal – I'm just saying every cloud has a silver lining and all that other Disney feel-good crap that's supposed to warm the cockles of your heart."

_She has such a way with words._

"This is my fault – I'm the one who listened to Dad –"

"I don't see where you had a choice."

"I could have said no, not gone back out, not taught Wakko –"

"Where was your opportunity to say no – think I missed it –"

"You're not getting it –"

"No, you're the one not getting it. This isn't your fault – the only one at fault here is your father from what I can see, and you're smart enough to know that – you just love to throw yourself pity parties don't you?"

Yakko rolled his eyes – _she was going to be a smart ass again._

"Look, kiddo, your right, this situation isn't great. Remember what I said before though? You always deal with a situation until you have an opportunity to change it. Right now, this is not going to change – at least until the 14th of January, right?

He nodded.

"Right now, you're unhappy, and your brother and sister are unhappy, but you are at least safe – safer than on the street anyway. Hate to say it, but probably safer than when you were with your father too."

_She had the right idea of it._

"I'm not going to insult your intelligence - as much as I don't believe it, and I know you don't either, your father may show up between now and the court date."

Yakko snorted; maybe, but probably not – no sign of him yet.

"But someday, somehow, the opportunity will come to leave the TIS house, whether it's with your father, through an adoption, or as a runaway – and either with or without your brother and sister."

"You're talking like Wakko – we can't run away – and I said we – I'd certainly never leave without my siblings - "

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

"We can't leave – where would we go? Besides, I can't take care of two little kids –"

"I thought you already did?"

_I have such a headache._

"That's different –"

"How?" she asked. "Every time I saw you with them, they looked up to you as their protector – other than supplying food every now and then, from what you've told me and hints I picked up since I've known you, it doesn't sound like your father did much, other than teach you how to shuffle cards and pick pockets."

"Yeah, look where that got us."

"It's not a bad skill – it's just a skill that was used poorly – you managed to use what you knew to entertain a room full of children and their parents each week."

"That was different – magic and card tricks are different than stealing someone's paycheck."

"But you were using essentially the same skill – the planning, the palming, the distraction, thinking quick when you flubbed or dropped a card."

He waited; he'd known her long enough to know she was trying to make a point, he just didn't see what it was.

"All I'm saying is don't rule out any option. I've known a lot of kids who have gotten taken by the TIS – families split apart, potential wasted."

He understood that – he'd never get any further Toon Theory – Wakko had really only begun his training – he still had lots to learn - they both did. Hell, Dot would never get her gloves; he had been looking forward to one day giving her a pair like he had done for Wakko.

"How would I support two kids and myself?"

"Well, you've got lots of skills from what I can see –"

"I can talk, pick pockets –"

"Not saying it's ideal, but something –"

"No way! I'm not going back to that!"

_Hadn't she listened to a thing he said?_

"Look, kid, listen to me," she said, grabbing his chin, forcing him to look at her. "I'm not saying you should spend the rest of your life doing it; I am saying that if they try to split you three apart, you need to consider all your options until something better comes along. And, if you ever decide to take that plunge, make sure to utilize all your skills."

"You're telling me to run away and be a thief?"

_Hadn't expected that. _

"Not at all. But think before you act, and make sure you plan everything out. I'm saying to watch yourselves – you and your siblings. I've known several children thrown into TIS, had no plan when they finally left, they ended up getting hurt, abused, killed..."

She trailed off with sad eyes, and Yakko felt bad for her – he wondered how many times she went through this.

"Stealing is wrong, you know that. But, if it came down to watching your sister starve or swiping some food to feed her, which would you choose?"

"Stealing of course."

_That was an easy one._

"You told me you were keeping all these wallets, you had some goal of trying to return them one day?"

"Yeah – stupid huh? I'm gonna be flipping burgers at Wimpy's Hamburger Stand for the rest of my life –"

"No you're not," she said, shaking her head so her ringlets flipped around, batting him in the face. "And I don't think it's stupid; it shows some honor anyway. You've got a lot of potential Yakko – you're destined for great things."

"Right. Sort of hard to accomplish great things when your –"

"Attitude sucks. Yakko – I haven't been wasting my time the past couple of years, have I?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

_Argh – her and her damn riddles._

"If they try to separate you from your siblings, what will you do?"

He honestly had already thought about that - it had been in the back of his mind since they loaded him and his sibs in the back of the TIS car.

"I'd have no choice - I would leave."

"Would you take care of them?"

"Of course - I always have before. I'd find a way, if I had to."

"Good to know. And you'd have a plan I'm sure."

He shrugged, not really having thought about it. "I'd come up with something, I always do."

"Good, and you're adaptable, able to think quickly and adjust your plan accordingly."

"I guess."

_What was she getting at?_

She studied him for a moment, until her gaze was making him uncomfortable.

"You ever thought about going to one of the studios?"

"What? Are you nuts? You're telling me to run away to join the circus?"

_Knew I shouldn't have come._

"Not the circus – a studio – some of the major studios offer protection to some children who are hiding from the TIS - if the children show enough promise and get a show - Warner Brothers and Disney both do it on rare occasions…Two of my former assistants have hidden at those studios – they can sign a _guardian ad salvus _with a minor toon –"

Yakko cut her off. "What's a _guardian ad slavus_?"

"Stop talking over me."

"Start making sense."

"Frustrating child. A _guardian ad slavus _is a contract between the studio and a minor toon - the studio offers the child a safe place to stay on the studio lot until they are eighteen - TIS can't touch them. You even get a certain amount of freedom - you can leave the studio lot if you are in the company of a studio sanctioned chaperone -"

Yakko, intrigued despite his misery and embarrassment, cut her off again. "What if you're not in the company of a studio sanctioned chaperone?"

She shrugged. "Then you're fair game. TIS will snatch you quick."

"I don't think that's a route we need to think about - "

"Why not - little bear toon I had year a year or so ago did it, he's hiding at Disney now - I've heard rumors he's going to be adopted soon -"

"If I leave and take my siblings with me, I'm gonna be charged with kidnapping! A studio would never - "

"I doubt they would charge a ten or eleven year old with kidnapping his siblings, and even so - if you're safe on a studio lot, they can't touch you, can't even come on the property -and it's a human and toon agreement - TIS can't break it -"

"You're nuts," he muttered. "If we ever do escape, I don't want our faces plastered all over a television every week."

"It's just another option kiddo, don't get all excited. Just keep it in mind, should anything happen. Promise me, OK?"

Sighing, Yakko nodded – _she was deranged._

"Are you feeling better?"

Yakko nodded, surprisingly, he felt quite a bit better.

"Good, I'm glad I could help."

He looked at her for a second, then gave her a hug.

"Thank you...for everything."

She returned the hug tightly, almost crushing him in her chest.

"You're welcome – I'm glad I could help you."

"And my siblings – you have no idea how many times –"

"I do Yakko, I really do."

"I'm gonna miss you, talking to you every week –"

"When you're a big star, you can write me in my nursing home."

"Yeah, right – next Bugs Bunny."

"Never know...Yakko, I think you're destined for great things."

XXXXXXXXXX

Leaving the library for the last time, he changed his mind – he did feel better, and he had done the right thing, coming back to see her. She deserved that much.

_She was still crazy though._

He quickly began to jog toward the apartment, able to move much quicker without his two siblings, though it did feel strange to be making the journey without them.

He looked around, knowing this was the last time he was going to be seeing this section for a very long time – the bakery, the grocery store, the bus bench that Wakko liked to climb on, the back entrance to the park Dot liked to go through because she liked to look at the flowers planted there...

Almost before he knew it, he was at the building, and he looked up at it.

Running in the front door, he made his way up the four flights of stars, almost wishing Mr. Olsen was tromping down the stairs swearing or Ms. Balmy was scratching at the door, or any of the other crazy neighbors he had seen over the last ten years were out so he could look one last time.

At his own door, he reached into his hammerspace, and pulled out his house key. He listened – no noise in the apartment; the whole building was quiet, like everyone knew the Warner's were gone and were giving them a moment of silence.

With a steady hand, he put the key in the lock, and, taking a deep breath, turned it, hoping that when he threw the door open, his father would be there on the couch.

He wasn't.

Entering the living room, he shut the door behind him and looked around. It didn't look like anyone had been there since he, Wakko, and Dot left five days ago on that ill-fated trip to Wishing-Star District.

It didn't smell like it either – the house was closed up, and it was incredibly smoky in the living room – he could see a haze near the ceiling. Another smell too – rotting food.

He went into the kitchen and turned on the light, cringing at the amount of roaches that scattered when the light shone on them. He could see their breakfast plates still sitting in the sink, along with additional plates, open food left on the counter...

So Dad was around, or had been at some point – he'd been eating.

Frowning, he made his way back to the bedroom, first going into his father's. He wasn't there of course. He looked around, there was a layer of dust on the dresser and headboard, and it seemed like some things were missing, but he wasn't sure – maybe some clothes?

Shaking his head, he quickly went into his own bedroom – he didn't have all day to take an inventory. It was already later than he intended, and he didn't want the dictator at the TIS house to notice his absence.

He went to the battered dresser in his room, and looked in the top drawer, giving a sigh of relief – the scrapbook was still there. Pulling it out, he placed it on the bed, and spotted Wakko's bunny. Wakko hadn't asked for it, but it was part of his childhood – one day he may wish he had it.

Yakko placed it on the scrapbook, along with Dot's doll; as an afterthought, he grabbed her little pink baby blanket as well. Going back to the dresser, he grabbed an extra set of clothes for all of them, remembering what Goose had said about having a plan. If they ever had to leave, it would probably be better not to be parading around in the TIS uniforms.

He looked at the pile, the sum total of their lives; a moldy book, some worn clothing, and a couple of toys. He slowly put them all in this hammerspace – they would be safe back there until they were needed.

He left the bedroom, doing one last sweep, just in case he missed anything.

He had – he quickly grabbed his and Wakko's movies – hardly important really, not like the scrapbook, but still, he felt compelled to put them back with all their other memories.

He'd be damned if he was cleaning up the apartment – he had cleaned it before they left, and Dad had been home at some point, he could clean it. He wasn't doing anything else...

Getting to the front door, he opened it, and looked around one last time, flooded with memories.

The ratty old couch where he and Wakko play wrestled and Dot had used to first stand by herself; the old TV that all three of them had spent countless hours in front of; the table in the now darkened kitchen that he had learned to read at from his mother, passing that skill down to his brother, first taught Wakko how to spell his name and had started teaching Dot her numbers...

Hopefully, someday, they would find another place, a real home, to make more memories at.

Surprised to find himself getting slightly choked up, he swallowed and closed the door.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko hopped off the bus and looked across the street toward the home – he had been gone a lot longer than he wanted to be, by hours.

Frowning, he made his way across the street, hoping that he would be able to sneak back onto the grounds and make up some excuse for why he had been missing – he fell asleep up in a tree or something.

Going to the bush, he found the cuff they had clamped on him. He was about to snap it on when he remembered that he had the keys in his hammerspace.

Wouldn't do him any good locked back there if something was to happen.

He quickly reached in and pulled them out, hiding them in the dried out mulch under the bush, then, with a sad sigh, snapped the cuff back on.

He quickly scaled the fence, snapping his pants leg on the same piece of metal, and jumped down to the other side. This was turning out to be easier than he thought.

He looked across the yard – no sign of Wakko – one of the uber-lords must have hustled him back inside. Worried, he crept down among the foliage, hoping to avoid detection - Mr. Malocchio seemed to have some strange sixth sense about what was happening on the yard.

His thoughts were broken off by a hand coming down around the back of his neck, squeezing hard.

"Where have you been?"

_Damn. He recognized that voice...sinister, proper, dreaded..._

He turned his head as much as he was able to so that he was looking up into the long sallow face of Mr. Malocchio.

_Ho-boy..._

"I've been around."

"No one has seen you all day - you missed lunch, and you completed none of your tasks that you were assigned."

Yakko pointed. "I fell asleep in that tree."

_He didn't think he'd buy it, but it was worth a shot._

"You will accompany me to Mr. O'Leaginous office – there is someone there who you should also see."

Hoping the moron didn't snap his cervical spine, he allowed himself to be dragged by his neck across the yard and into the home to 'the tar pit' as he liked to call the office.

Mr. Malocchio knocked on the door once, and entered, dragging Yakko in his wake.

Yakko stumbled in behind him and saw Wakko sitting in a chair across from Mr. O'Leaginous desk.

_What the hell was he doing in here?_

Mr. Malocchio finally let go of his neck, and he brought his hands up to rub it – damn fool almost snapped it – who knew someone so skinny could be so strong?

"Round up the usual suspects, huh Mr. O'Leaginous?"

"Shut up! Just shut up! And sit down!"

"Since you asked so nicely, sure."

Yakko sat down in the chair next to his brother, giving him a small smile. Wakko looked scared, but returned it.

Mr. Malocchio left the room with a final glare at them, closing the door silently behind him.

Mr. O'Leaginous looked at both of them.

"Now, Yakko – your brother's been in here two hours, telling me you never left the property and he doesn't know anything about a set of missing keys. I think he's full of shit –"

"Hey! Kids in the room – wanna watch the language?"

_Hate this jerk...what Goose said about leaving is sounding better and better..._

"Shut up – I've been doing this almost ten years – I know how to talk to kids."

"Yeah, I can tell – you're very popular and respected around here."

_The smaller ones were terrified of him, the older ones despised him._

"Fear is a form of respect, which I demand in all the children!"

_I'm not touching that one...nope...not gonna do it._

"Did you leave the property?"

"No, of course not - after I was informed that we weren't allowed to -"

"What about my keys?"

"What keys?"

He cut a quick glance at Wakko, who was simply watching the exchange. His little brother could be one cool customer when he needed to be.

"The keys one of you two thieves stole. You think I don't know why you three were picked up? I know what you are – two-bit con artists – I want my keys!"

"Told ya we don't have 'em mister," Wakko piped in.

"Yeah, listen to him – what would we do with keys?"

"I'm not a fool - "

"Could have fooled me," he mumbled, and was gratified when he heard Wakko giggle.

"You think your real funny dontcha?"

"I've been told it a time or two."

"You're gonna be real funny in an isolation room."

"Do I dare ask what an isolation room is?"

_Doesn't sound pleasant._

"Keep the smart ass attitude up and you'll find out."

He didn't personally care, but Wakko was still there – he didn't want to drag him down too. Better to keep quiet. For now.

_Oh how I long to hit this guy with my mallet though_ – he sighed; _maybe someday._

"Keys."

"What is Florida?" Wakko asked.

"What is something that we don't have?" Yakko said at the same time.

"It's like Jeopardy Yakko!"

"And you won Wak!"

"I did?"

"Yep – your question was better than mine."

"Enough!"

Yakko turned to look at him – he was mad – he almost expected smoke to come out of his nose. He wished it would, it would really liven things up.

The door opened and Mr. Malocchio came back in, grabbing both of them by the necks again and lifting them up off the chairs...didn't the idiot know he was supposed to grab the scruff, not the actual spine? He was going to paralyze someone one day.

"Hiya Mal – lurking at the doors again huh?"

Mr. Malocchio growled, giving him a shake, but didn't answer.

"Mr. Malocchio," Mr. O'Leaginous said, back to his normal oily tone of voice, "please take these two gentleman to isolation rooms 2 and 5. Overnight will be sufficient – perhaps then one of them will remember where the keys are."

_Their not doing anything to Wakko…_

"Keep telling you we don't have your stupid keys!"

"Wakko, hush, OK? Look, Mr. O'Leaginous – he didn't have anything to do with this – let him go huh? I'm obviously the one you –"

"Yakko!"

"Keep quiet Wak – this doesn't concern you."

"So you're the one who took the keys?"

"Yeah, I took em –"

"He didn't! I did –"

"Wakko. Quiet. Now," he said, giving him the look he usually gave him when he needed him to obey immediately. Wakko quieted, but gave him a glare to match his own.

"Where are the keys?"

_Damn, he had wanted to keep them; well, one of them anyway. Maybe, just maybe he might be able to -_

He gestured toward Wakko.

"Let him go - he really did have nothing to do with it. It was my fault, my idea, my act."

"Yak-"

"I said quiet Wakko."

_He was not letting Wakko go down for this. He wanted to sneak off and leave, he'd take any punishment for it. Wakko had just been trying to help him._

Mr. O'Leaginous smiled.

"Thought you'd come around if we got him involved. Let the little one go Mr. Malocchio, we have what we want."

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko sighed and sat on the floor in the corner of the room, looking around, not that there was much to look at in 'the isolation room' except the crappy wooden chair in the middle of the room. At least it was his last day in there - he had spent all of yesterday afternoon in there.

On the negative side, Wakko was terrified without him around, and he missed him and Dot.

On the positive side, no 'tasks' to complete today. Sunday's tasks were scrubbing the floors.

After he had convinced Mister's O'Leaginous and Malocchio of Wakko's innocence yesterday, they had let him go, even though he had protested and fought.

Mr. O'Leaginous had demanded that Yakko lead him to where he had hidden the keys, and Yakko had agreed, leading him outside to the bush on the edge of the property by the fence.

The living grease pit had huffed and puffed behind him, telling him to hurry up and give him the damn keys. Yakko had taken his time, acting like he was looking for them in the mulch.

In reality, he had been quickly and carefully sliding the small gold key off the ring - it was really the only key he could see ever needing off the ring - he didn't have any desire to have a key to the supply room or the idiot's office.

Palming the HRC key, he had handed over the rest of the ring, almost sweating with fear that he would notice. He hadn't; he had simply snatched the ring and shoved it in his pocket, directing him to follow him back to the home.

Seeing no alternative, he had done so, only to be snatched by Mr. Malocchio at the front door and dragged - once again by his neck - to the basement, past the dining hall to another corridor.

Taking a left, he had seen six doors; listening carefully, he could hear crying coming from behind door number 4.

Worried but not willing to give Mr. Malocchio the satisfaction of knowing it, he had struggled to keep up with him until they reached a door marked with a two.

Unlocking the door with his own ring of keys, Mr. Malocchio informed him that he was going to be spending the rest of today, and all of the following day in there for his thievery and had roughly shoved him in, slamming the door and locking it behind him.

Yakko had looked around - bare white walls, one light bulb overhead and one very uncomfortable wooden chair in the center of the room, bolted to the floor, and that was it.

He had tried to sit in it yesterday, and had lasted about twenty minutes before moving to the floor - it was concrete, and it was _still_ more comfortable than the chair.

Yakko took the key out of his pocket, looking at it. He thought back to what Goose said, about having a plan.

He didn't have any plans on leaving anytime soon - he was still concerned about trying to care for two younger siblings on the streets, but he would find a way to do it if TIS ever tried to separate them.

He wondered how the _guardian ad slavus _worked, and wished he had heard about it before; it would have been something interesting to look up in the library. He didn't see it happening though - the studios would not do that very often - she said only really special, really talented toons that showed promise - by the time the three of them got these cuffs off they would be as good as untalented…

Hearing a key in the lock on the door, he quickly broke his thoughts off and shoved the small gold key deep in his pocket and looked up as Mr. Malocchio stepped into the room.

"You may leave to return to your dormitory now."

At least they were humane enough to allow him out to sleep in his bed last night. Mr. Malocchio came to the dorm room early this morning and escorted him back to 'isolation room two'. He had to take his meals in the isolation room though - Mr. Cheerful brought him his three squares today.

At least the food wasn't bad.

Picking himself off the floor and dusting his pants off, he followed him out of the room and up the basement stairs to the lobby area, continuing up the stairs to the dormitory, where he saw Wakko sitting on his bed, thumbing through some school book he had been given.

His brother looked up as he entered the room, and practically flew across the room to him, throwing his arms around his neck as he bent to pick him up.

"I missed you," he mumbled into his neck. "They took Jerome."

Yakko frowned. Jerome was one of the boys that had shared their room - he was a friendly sort, quiet little turtle toon, turned twelve in a few days. Lonely, scared, and bored, Wakko had just been starting to talk to the boy in the last couple of days.

"Its OK Wakko - I'm done with my solitary confinement - I'll be here with you, OK? And after our classes and everything else they dump on us tomorrow, we'll go see Dot, right?"

Wakko nodded.

"Did you finish whatever homework they gave you?"

Wakko shook his head.

"OK, let's get to work on that."

_Try to stay under the radar as much as possible for now._

"What about yours?"

"I'll do mine while I'm helping you with yours, OK?"

The classes were ridiculous - he was learning nothing, and he doubted Wakko was learning much either. All the boys went into one room, everyone had the same book, and the tutor just walked around and assigned pages according to age, having them hand their answers in the next session.

As Wakko started reading out loud, Yakko squinted at the calendar on the wall - Sunday, December 23rd - _gonna be a great holiday this year._

It also meant that tomorrow there would be three weeks until their court date - he crossed his fingers, hoping against hope that somehow this was going to work out and his father would get them the hell out of there.

End Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9 – Separated_

_Monday, January 14th, 1991_

"What's gonna happen today?"

Yakko, who had been trying to tie his tie in the mirror on the wall, looked back at Wakko. He was sitting on his bed looking at him with eyes showing all the worry and stress of the last month, not to mention a glimmer of ill-placed hope that this was all going to somehow work out.

"I don't know Wakko, I really don't," he sighed, looping the wide end of the tie around the thin part twice – all this work just to impress some judge who was probably going to try to split them up. "Just keep your fingers crossed that Dad actually shows up and does something worthwhile for once."

Wakko gave a small sigh as he watched Yakko flipping the tie around his neck. Yakko watched his brother try unsuccessfully to follow his motions to get his own tie correct.

"He's not gonna show up is he?"

_Great, he's being perceptive again._

"I hope so Wakko. We have to try to stay positive through this."

_Please don't give up, because if you do I might too…_

Watching Wakko slowly try to strangle himself with the tie, he said, "Come on Wakko, let me tie that for you before you choke yourself."

Picking Wakko off of the bed and putting him on the floor, he sat on the bed behind him, going through the motions with the stupid thing, his own fingers fumbling with it due to nerves.

For special occasions when they had to jazz themselves up – court for instance, or when prospective parents came shopping for a kid – all the boys had been given black ties to wear with their hideous grey shirts – their Christmas present from the home, along with another uniform and a bag of candy for each of them.

Yakko barely knew how to tie a tie himself – thankfully, Keven, the bunny toon that shared their room, had been willing to show him if Yakko agreed to help with some homework he had. Figuring it was a fair tradeoff, he agreed.

Flipping Wakko's collar down after it was tied, Yakko said to him, "Come one, let's go see if they'll let us see Dot before this mockery of justice."

"Ok," Wakko agreed, holding Yakko's hand as they walked out of the room. "At least we don't have to go to those classes today."

"Way to look on the bright side sib," he mumbled back.

Neither of them were thrilled at the so-called lessons – at this point, Yakko had basically given up on learning anything himself, but was continuing to work with Wakko as much as possible, going above what they were learning in the book.

They had to keep it a secret though; when Wakko had mentioned something farther back in the book than where he was supposed to be, the tutor, Mr. Forrester, had flown off the handle. Getting in Wakko's face and screaming about over achieving, he had terrified him, which had caused Yakko to use his own sharp tongue on the maniac tutor, which in turn had earned him another day in 'the isolation room'.

He didn't consider it a huge loss – no tasks - Wednesday was laundry day.

The tutor seemed determined to weed out the students that may have "Schlesinger Syndrome" for special ridicule – constantly telling the boys that these types of toons were genetic misfits, no good could come of any of it or Toon Theory, and the type of education they were currently getting was guaranteed to provide them with a more stable job in the future.

Currently, he and Wakko were the only two that he knew of that had "Schlesinger Syndrome" in the home. Dot would no doubt have it, so she was the only girl he was aware of at the time. If any of the other children were talented in that department, they never talked about it. Keven had mentioned another child that had since moved to 'the other house' that had it, and Forrester had tortured the poor kid up until they day he left.

The way kids came in this home was odd; he knew there were three little girls over there with Dot in the five and under age group, and that he and Wakko, along with Keven and Hal, the human styled toon child – were the only boys in the five to twelve room. There was a room of infant to five year old boys, but again, they were kept separate like the little girls; they were barely seen either. At this time, there were no girls in the five to twelve room.

When one of the children turned twelve, they were moved to a separate house - somewhere off site - he had never been able to find out where. This 'other house' had all the children twelve and older in it.

TIS apparently had no qualms about separating siblings – Hal would be moving soon to the 'other house' – he had a brother already over there he had not seen in over two years.

Yakko frowned; he couldn't imagine not seeing either of his siblings for that long. Hell, not seeing Dot for two days drove him nuts.

Crossing the hall, he knocked on the door and waited for Ms. Garbo to answer the door. He knocked again – this woman annoyed him as much as Mr. O'Leaginous - she knew who it was, and never allowed him to come in.

He had never been allowed in; Wakko had snuck in once and had gotten a decent look at the room. He had said that it was a room with a crib and four beds, a dresser, and a chair. He had also seen an open door on the far side of the room leading into another room; Yakko presumed that was where Ms. Garbo slept - she was never far from the little girls.

There was another woman who stayed with the little boys, Ms. Steely, but he rarely saw her - at the moment there was only one little boy under five in the house.

Frowning, Yakko knocked again as Wakko fidgeted beside him. Finally, Ms. Garbo answered the door, holding Dot in her arms. Dot had been crying he could tell – her eyes were still all watery, but upon seeing him, a smile lit up her face, and she held her arms out, practically falling on him.

"Yakko – miss you - I don't like it here – wanna go home!"

"I know Dot," he murmured, cuddling her in his arms as Ms. Garbo looked on disapprovingly.

He gave her a strange look – this was his sister, how was he supposed to act?

Giving the woman a nasty look, he turned and began walking down the stairs, Wakko following him. Last night he had been instructed to make sure he and his 'hellion brother' were downstairs in the foyer area by 8:20 A.M. so that they could be taken to the courthouse – their session was at 9 A.M.

He hadn't slept well last night, and couldn't eat this morning. He had forced Wakko to eat – no sense in him starving because his brother was a nervous wreck. Plus Wakko got weird when he didn't eat.

Glancing at his watch, he saw it was 8:14 A.M. – they were early, so the overlords shouldn't have any complaints about that anyway.

Sitting on the long bench in the foyer with Dot in his lap, Yakko gestured for Wakko to hop up beside him – it had been two days since they had seen their sister, and both wanted to talk to her.

"Don't like the strangers Yakko," she said. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she intently looked at him and said again, "Don't like the strangers."

"I don't like them either Dot," he said, back at her – it was so odd to see so serious a look on such a little face.

"What strangers?" Wakko asked.

Yakko shrugged. "I guess she's talking about Ms. Garbo and the others."

Wakko nodded. "I don't like them either."

"I think it's safe to say that none of the Warner siblings care for any of these strangers," he stated.

Yakko heard someone walking down the hall that lead to Mr. O'Leaginous office, and looked up to see Nanny the grumpy goat, along with a police officer – a bear toon – walking toward them.

"Let's go you three – courthouse is on the other side of the district."

Nervous, Yakko nodded, standing up. Wakko hopped down beside him, grabbing his hand as he did so. Dot wrapped her arms around his neck and shoved her face into his chest.

Feeling Wakko trembling beside him and Dot still mumbling about not liking the strangers, he followed Nanny out of the home, the police officer following behind him.

Stomach twisting itself into knots, he got into the back seat of the TIS car, Wakko scrunching up beside him, and sent out a silent prayer that Dad was there...a month and still nothing...

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko was nervously playing with the pleats in Dot's skirt as they waited, the judge, his bailiff, the court reporter, and any observers behind the railing staring at them. He would unfold the pleat, then fold it back flat again against his leg, then repeat the process over. It burned up nervous energy, and kept him from trying to jump up, grab his siblings, and making a run for it.

Over two hours since the court had moved into session, and nothing. The judge had asked him about himself, briefly talked to Wakko, then asked a few questions about Dot, then had gone silent again, looking at them like it was their fault that their father hadn't shown up and was tying up the court's time.

He looked down at Dot; she was sitting quietly in his lap, happily playing with his tie, every now and then giving it enough of a jerk he would feel it tighten momentarily around his neck before loosening up again.

Wakko was beside him, silently chewing on the left corner of his lip and looking at the floor. Every now and then he would look up, meet his eye with his own worried look, then return to looking at the floor.

After being driven to the courthouse in a mostly silent ride, they had been escorted inside the lobby, patted down, cuffs on each of their wrists checked, then lead into a small courtroom at the end of the hall, where they had been directed to sit on a long wooden bench over to the left hand side of the courtroom to wait.

The judge, a large walrus toon named Judge Tine, had been announced, entered, and heard four cases, all in alphabetical order. Every one of the children had been released to their parents' custody after lengthy discussions, bargaining, and promises of seeking counseling or substance abuse rehabilitation in two of the cases.

The bench they had been told to sit on was hard and slippery; he had to keep his feet braced on the floor to keep from slipping off. Every now and then he had to push Wakko back on it as he constantly was moving forward and off it.

Yakko took a quick look at his watch – it was 11:15 A.M. – once again, as he had done a hundred times already, he did a quick look around the courtroom, hoping that maybe his father had snuck in without him seeing him.

He hadn't.

They were the last of the children in the courtroom. The police officer that had escorted them there was along the back wall with the other police escorts chatting and eating donuts with his colleagues. Nanny was sitting behind them behind a railing, asleep on her seat, head lolled back and drooling down her chin.

Finally, the judge spoke.

"It's been almost two and a half hours – the court has no alternative but to come to the conclusion that Mr. Warner will not be arriving – I have other cases this afternoon to prepare for."

"Please, just give him a little more time..."

_Damn it, how could he do this?_

"I'm sorry young man, but your father has known about this for some time. He's not going to show. He may petition the court for another available date in the future should he wish to attempt to regain custody."

"Are you sure he got the notice?"

_Hate sounding so desperate..._

Another voice came from beside the judge's post.

"Sorry kid, I put the notice in his hands myself; right before I arrested him for petty larceny. "

Yakko looked; it was a deputy. He wasn't even shocked about the announcement of an arrest, wouldn't be the first time for Dad, but he had put the notice in his hands?

"Could he still be in jail?"

"Made bail the next afternoon; already checked. Sorry kid, I don't think he's coming."

_Oh shit they were in trouble…_

He wasn't sure why he was surprised; he knew, Goose knew, hell, even Wakko had suspected that he wasn't going to show. He had foolishly hoped though, that maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to show in court for just this one occasion to get them the hell out of there.

_Idiot; should have known...hell, Dad was probably happy to be rid of them. _

He jumped as the judge spoke in a loud voice, startling Dot, who dropped his tie and turned to look at the judge reproachfully.

"As of this date and time, the three minor children, Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, and Dorothy Warner, are now wards of the Court of ToonTown, Foulfellow District, their custodial parent, Slacko De-Beck Warner, having voluntarily given up all rights to that title."

"From this date forward, the three minors will reside in Toon Inquiry Services' - Brutus –Nero House until such time that one or more is adopted, are moved to a separate district house, or as they age out of the system."

The judge pounded his gavel, marking the Court's decision as final.

Wakko had a horrible, confused look on his face as he stared at the judge, while Dot was still giving the judge a glare, her mouth pinched in a grim line.

After a few seconds, they both turned back to him as Nanny, who had woken up when the judge had announced his ruling, began to walk around the gate separating them. The officer was in the back of the courtroom, waiting to escort them back to the home.

With a sad shake of his head, the judge stood and left as the bailiff asked all to rise.

Yakko didn't rise, he was too stunned.

_What the hell was going to happen now?_

"We're up shit creek without a paddle aren't we Yakko?" Wakko asked anxiously.

Yakko stared at him. Normally he would have reprimanded him for his language.

Unfortunately, this time it was an astute observation.

They were indeed up a creek.

XXXXXXXXXX

May 1991

_This isn't fair!_

How was he supposed to have known he wasn't allowed to change the channel on the television?

Ok, so he did know that none of the children were supposed to change the channel.

They usually did anyway, when none of the adults were around, which was happening more and more lately - the last three months actually. It was like their caretakers didn't care all of a sudden and were letting all the children mingle a lot more.

It was really nice.

This Saturday morning, all the children - the boys and the girls - in the television room wanted to watch Tiny Toon Adventures - no one had wanted to watch Ducktales.

Wakko sighed.

_Stupid ducks - who wants to watch ducks?_

He should have known - after being at this place for over six months, they were never allowed to watch anything that wasn't either Disney or sanctioned by Mr. O'Leaginous himself. He thought they would have been safe though - for the last couple of months, Mr. O'Leaginous, Mr. Malocchio, and Ms. Garbo - the terrible trio as his brother called them - had been huddled in Mr. O'Leaginous office. They had been having more and more meetings, sometimes in the morning, even in the afternoon talking about who knew what

He didn't care really - when one or both of the assistant directors where in there, that meant they weren't out there bothering him. He and Yakko had been able to spend a lot more time with Dot lately with Ms. Garbo busy. She had even been sort of nice about it, handing Dot to Yakko and telling him to enjoy his time with her.

There were a lot of additional people in and out of the home too; measuring, talking, moving boxes around…no one seemed to know what was happening. A few toons had said renovations - Yakko said maybe they were getting nicer bathrooms.

He was probably joking though. He did that a lot.

More children were being brought in too - there were six boys in his and Yakko's room now, including them, and four girls in the five to twelve room down the hall. A few were even his age, which was nice - during their free time he had someone to play with, when he or one of them weren't in trouble.

And today was Saturday, no stupid tutoring, and the 'tasks' as they were called didn't have to be done until the afternoon. He and the other boys - minus Yakko, who had been with Dot out on the front yard - had the morning off, and wanted to watch something different. The girls, who had also been in there, had wanted to watch anything that wasn't Disney had quickly agreed.

With the three bullies in the office, he had done the only thing he could do - he changed the channel - and they had all kicked back to watch. It had been a lot of fun. One of the newer boys, a raccoon toon named Dane, had sat next to him and began talking. He was only a few years older than him, and seemed OK - he caused a lot of trouble too.

It had been a really good hour, until the bullies' meeting had broken early and Mr. Malocchio had come creeping down the hall to the TV room. No one had heard him coming, so there was no opportunity to change the channel back like they usually did - but then again, they usually had a lookout.

Yakko made a very good lookout. The other older boys had been transferred out of the home to another district house. As Yakko was now officially the oldest of the boys, he was always looking out, trying to keep everyone out of too much trouble…Well, from getting caught anyway. He was usually really good at it too – he was kinda like the big brother for all the kids at the home.

He didn't mind sharing him…too much.

Mr. Malocchio had turned the TV off and demanded to know who changed the channel. No one spoke at first, and he had said he was putting them all in the isolation rooms for the weekend.

It wasn't until later that he had realized that there were more kids than isolation rooms, and when you put two or more kids in an isolation room; it's not really isolation anymore, is it?

Being the idiot he was, he raised his hand and admitted that he was the one who changed it. It was funny; he could actually feel the relief of the other children; all of them looked at him in a mixture of relief, amazement, and pity. He was surprised that no one had snitched on him actually.

He had kinda hoped that Mr. Malocchio would be happy that he came forward, admitted what he had done, and would let it drop.

That was a really stupid idea.

Mr. Malocchio had stared at him for a few seconds, and he had been hopeful...But then Mr. Malocchio had come at him with a low funny growl. He had grabbed him by the neck; he always grabbed the neck bone, and dragged him out of the quiet TV room.

He had a feeling no one was going to be watching anything but DuckTales today...

He was worried that he was going to be hauled off to an isolation room – he really didn't like that. Yakko said it was a prison tactic and kept calling it 'getting thrown in the hole'. He wasn't sure what he meant...

Mr. Malocchio had hauled him to Mr. O'Leaginous office, where he got screamed at and was told he had to scrub the bathroom floor upstairs - on his hands and knees.

Well, it was better than sitting in the isolation room all weekend – he'd had to do that a few times now. Not as much as Yakko though - his brother got put in there a lot more. Mr. O'Leaginous said once that he was an argumentative wise ass. Yakko had then said he was just truthful and that he shouldn't take offense.

Yakko had gone back in there for the afternoon.

He looked around the bathroom - five stalls, a really ugly pea green tile floor, and five sinks; off toward the back corner there were the showers. He hoped Yakko was right and they were getting new bathrooms - these were ugly and old, all chipped and dirty…and were getting used more now; the ones downstairs had been closed for months. When one of the boys asked about them getting fixed, Mr. Malocchio had said the home didn't need them, and it did not concern him - they were broken and would stay broken for now.

Grumbling, he plunged the sponge into the bucket, wanting to get this over with. He plunged too roughly though, and splashed filthy water back onto the floor.

_Never going to get out of here…_

Rolling his eyes, he used a rag to mop up the excess water, throwing it to the side when he was done.

He slowly got up off his hands and knees and sat back on his butt, looking around and trying to stretch his back and tail out. This floor was going to take forever to clean, and Mr. Malocchio said he couldn't eat until it was done. He had already missed lunch, he didn't want to miss dinner too - he was really hungry. He was already getting a headache from not eating.

Listening to his stomach rumble, Wakko sighed and leaned forward again, grabbing the sponge and starting to scrub.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening and saw Yakko come in, frowning.

Wakko sighed; he was about to get a lecture from Yakko about staying out of trouble and off the radar. He didn't think Yakko should lecture him too much - Yakko's mouth got him in almost as much trouble as Wakko's fingers did - except that Yakko's mouth was usually trying to get him or one of the other kids out of trouble - his fingers were usually causing it.

Yakko always helped him whenever he got assigned extra work though - if he was going to help with the floor, he knew he would be able to eat dinner.

To his surprise, Yakko didn't say a word. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a sandwich wrapped in a napkin, slightly mashed but still edible, and handed it to him.

Wakko looked at it - cheese and ham - better than nothing. He shot his brother a smile.

Yakko pulled out the key he had taken and unlocked the cuff on both their wrists, putting the cuffs on the floor in quick reach. He did that a lot whenever they were alone, or with Dot. He said that if they kept them on too long, it could really screw them up - they wouldn't be able to access their hammerspaces ever again.

Yakko was also still training him in secret, whenever they were alone for awhile. Yakko had given him a really ugly yellow flower to practice with - he had Fritzed it quite a few times now. It never stayed in its new shape long, only a few seconds - but Yakko said he was doing really good.

Wakko took a bite of his sandwich and watched as Yakko got on his hands and knees, pulled a sponge out of his other pocket and began scrubbing the floor next to him.

_Maybe I'm not going to get a lecture…_

"Dane told me what you did."

_Then again, maybe I am._

"That was good of you, standing up and taking the blame."

Wakko looked at him, took a bite of the sandwich, and shrugged, mumbling, "Had to. I did it, I couldn't lie about it - everyone knew I did it."

_Maybe it wouldn't be too bad - Yakko hated liars._

"But you could have kept quiet; remember when Maguire broke the window in the bedroom and didn't take the blame - everyone ended up in an isolation room for the weekend?"

Wakko nodded - he remembered - Maguire was a really nasty lizard toon that had come through for a few weeks. He was really happy he was gone - he got them all in a lot of trouble - he lied all the time.

"Sort of like that." Yakko gave him a look, then went back to scrubbing the floor. "You took responsibility for what you did - I'm proud of you for that -"

Wakko smiled - he liked it when something he did made Yakko proud.

"- even though you know no one is allowed to change the channel."

_True._

He flashed his brother another smile and finished his sandwich. Grabbing his sponge, he continued scrubbing the floor.

"How's Dottie?" He had planned on visiting with her after he watched TV, and was a bit upset he screwed that up. Well, he could see her at dinner.

"Same as always. Upset, confused, wants to come stay with us."

"I want her to stay with us too," he mumbled. "Why are they letting us see her so much now?"

"I don't know; I've been wondering about that myself – there were a couple of times we couldn't see her for almost a month." Yakko sighed, dipping his sponge in the bucket.

"I'm just afraid to question it - like I'll jinx it or something."

"What's that mean?"

"If I talk about it too much I'll ruin a good thing."

"Oh."

_He could accept that._

"Hey Wak, you get the feeling that something is getting ready to happen?"

"Dinner's soon -"

Yakko shook his head at him. "No not dinner!" He sighed. "Something bigger - all this moving stuff around all of a sudden, kids seem to be moving in and going out at a higher rate, more people coming and going, rumors of a new home, things breaking and not being repaired…ehhhhh, never mind, it's probably just me."

"I've seen the people coming in, going in the office. I heard them talking about an adoption too, and one of the babies wasn't good enough to be adopted and they wanted to bring it back - I sat outside the office door with -"

"I told you, don't snoop around too much - you get caught, there'll be hell to pay."

"There always is here."

"Got that right," Yakko muttered.

"I heard them talking about a new home before."

"You did?" Yakko stopped scrubbing and looked at him. "When – and why didn't you tell me?"

"A while ago - when you were…down there."

He hated the isolation rooms.

"Oh yeah, which time was it?" he muttered.

"It's gonna be at someplace called Baker's Estates; Garbo was talking about it. She said it was gonna be nice too, not like this," he added, waving his hand to encompass the bathroom and curling his lip in disgust. "She said it would have meeting rooms downstairs so parents didn't have to go into the office or the TV room. She said 'We'll be moving soon - me and all the little children' - she sounded really happy about it."

He hated when wanna-be parents came by - all the kids were lined up in the TV room by how old they were and whether they were a boy or girl. They never seemed interested in him or Yakko, but being lined up in the TV room so the adults could look them all over gave him the creeps.

He never saw them looking at the babies though, and that was weird - he had been told numerous times that babies always went first, and that made him really scared - what if someone wanted Dot?

"Hey Yakko - how come the adults that come by never look at the babies?"

"They look at the little ones while we're in class, and in a more private setting - sort of one on one, where we're always in a group…" He broke off and shuddered. "It makes me really nervous."

"Me too."

XXXXXXXXXX

September 22, 1991

Yakko pursed his lips together and looked around; he was really starting to get tired of this place.

He sat in the corner, leaning against the wall, and pulled out the HRC key, unlocking his cuff. He was banished to isolation room number three for the weekend. Usually he didn't get stuck in an isolation room for helping the younger children with their 'tasks'. If he was caught, usually Mr. Malocchio a.k.a. The Creeping Terror, grabbed him and found something else fun for him to do, usually while trying to inflict as much pain as possible on his neck without crippling him.

This time was more alarming than the others; he had been told that he liked to break the rules too often, and he was confined to the isolation room for the weekend - including the nights. Mr. Malocchio had even been sporting enough to go get his pillow and blanket from his bed to dump in the room.

What was making him suspicious was that his pillow and blanket were already in the room when he was thrown in there.

Putting the cuff on the floor, he waited a few seconds and was able to access his hammerspace, beyond happy that he had been smart enough to steal the key. He was also counting his blessings that the kids here were too young, and apparently never had the cuffs taken off, therefore, Mr. O'Leaginous never had checked for the key. Whenever a child was adopted, either Ms. Garbo or Mr. Malocchio unlocked the cuff.

Hand in his hammerspace, he thought and pulled out a paddleball; he was able to pretty much Fritz most things on demand; and when he was stuck in one of the isolation rooms, he Fritzed the paddleball; even if it didn't last long, it entertained him for a few minutes before he had to Fritz another one.

He was still working with Wakko, who was doing well with the flower. He was tempted to try to steal a key for Wakko for when he was stuck in one of these rooms, but knew that would be foolish for two reasons; Garbo or Malocchio would notice the key missing after awhile, and Wakko might get caught with it, and he was terrified what would happen to him if they ever discovered that.

He began to paddle the ball, trying to see how long he could keep it going this time. He had been in the room since yesterday morning, and was starting to get tired of his favorite toy.

Hearing a soft knock at the door, he slipped up, pounding the ball in his eye.

Panicked and muttering under his breath, he quickly threw it in his hammerspace, feeling it whisk away as he grabbed the cuff and snapped it back on his wrist.

The door didn't open though; instead he heard talking.

"Yakko - you in this one?"

He recognized the voice; Dane, Wakko's friend.

"Yakko? Hey - Warner – you in there?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm in this one," he yelled back, getting up and moving over to the door so he could hear better.

This was unusual; usually everyone tried to keep away from the isolation rooms, for fear they would get caught down there and be put in one themselves. He himself snuck down occasionally to comfort Wakko when he got stuck in one, but that was it.

"Look man, I got bad news - your sis is gone."

Yakko stumbled, feeling his legs shaking, as he leaned against the door to steady himself.

_What? Gone?_

"What did you say?"

_Had to have heard wrong…_

"Gone - as in taken - no longer living at this hell – they just took -"

_Shit._

Pounding his fist on the door, he interrupted him, yelling, "When - where -"

"Don't know man - Garbo's gone - she and some other woman took all the little girls – the one boy too - someone else came and took the older girls - the only ones left here are the kids in our room – home is gonna close – we'll be transferred to one of the other homes is what they say." He went silent for a moment, then added more quietly, "But she's gone - thought you'd wanna know."

_The kid was taking a hell of a risk coming down to tell him._

"Thanks man! Thanks. Where's my brother?"

_Please don't tell me they took him too…_

"Stuck in six - he tried to stop them - bit the shit out of Garbo and Malocchio - drew blood on him - even managed to grab your sister for a second before getting caught…Malocchio smacked him upside the head and dragged him off kicking and screaming to the room."

_Damn. OK, well, at least I won't have to find him too._

"Look, Dane, I appreciate this, I do -"

_Explains why I was confined for the weekend – I'm locked away, less for them to deal with..._

_Oh Dot..._

"Eh, no problem - you got me out of enough shit these last few months - least I cou-"

His sentence ended with a strangled cry, and Yakko heard Mr. Malocchio's voice instead, yelling at the hapless toon and dragging him off to isolation room number five.

_Malocchio keeps this up, all the rooms will be filled._

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Worst fears had come to pass. She was gone, Wakko was locked down, and so was he.

Forehead against the door, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and fighting nausea and a hint of dizziness – he felt worse now than when Mom died, like he had taken a kick in the gut.

_Have to analyze the situation – make a plan..._

Taking many deep breaths, he tried to ignore the tight feeling in his chest and instead concentrate on the situation.

He could get out - probably a few good smacks at the door with his mallet would take care of that – Wakko's door too - but if Mr. Malocchio was out there, would he have time to get a hit at him before he got grabbed? If he slipped up, they would know about his removing the cuff and the key, effectively ruining any escape plan. That was to be avoided - he was only going to have one shot to pull this off.

He also had to find out where she was - Wakko had heard about the new home that had been built when he and Dane were snooping - maybe they took her there? It didn't sound like she was adopted - Dane said they took all the little ones - someone wouldn't adopt five kids at one time…would they?

Putting his back against the door, he let himself slip to the floor, putting a hand on his forehead. Willing himself not to cry, he let his mind run, analyzing the situation. He had to stay calm, and he had to come up with a plan - very quickly.

_She's going to be counting on me – she had to be terrified by now..._

Get out of the room; get Wakko out of the room. Once they were released, they would have to get into the records locked away in O'Leaginous office, find out where she had been shipped to, and plan not only an escape, but a rescue mission, then find somewhere to hide until he could come up with something better.

What Goose said about having a plan was becoming more clear - she said she had seen and heard about this type of thing before - siblings torn apart. It had finally happened though - he had been hoping they had slipped under the radar and they wouldn't be noticed anytime soon; they had been unnoticed for so long.

_That's what he got for waiting._

He had been planning some sort of escape for sometime next year - he knew he would be moved to the 'other house' sometime around next August, when he turned twelve. He had been pleased that he had almost another year to figure out what to do. He had not come up with any great plan as of yet, but as Goose had said, he had a few talents up his sleeve. Both he and Wakko were talented pickpockets - if he could keep Wakko under control, the three of them should be able to eat without robbing the populace blind, baring any disasters like last time.

It wasn't much of a plan, but it was the only logical thing he was coming up with; the rest he would make up as he went along – it's what he usually did.

But first, he had to get them out, find Dot, rescue her, and get away from there.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko stirred at the sound of the key in the lock –it was Monday morning – he was either going to be released or they were bringing him breakfast.

He quickly checked to make sure the key was hidden and the cuff was secure – he had done it when he felt himself getting drowsy early this morning – he checked his watch – in the last two days he had gotten a total of seven hours sleep.

_Might as well release me now_, he thought bitterly, _she's been gone over twenty-four hours._

The door opened to reveal O'Leaginous. Odd, usually Malocchio was the one to release them from solitary – maybe he was busy...Maybe they would luck out and he had been transferred to another house or he had been hit by a bus or something.

Shrugging and not really caring that much anyway, he stood while O'Leaginous told him to grab his blanket and pillow – he was to go to the dormitory to get ready for classes, and not to say a damn word – she was gone, they knew what was best – end of story. Apparently he was not to get breakfast this morning.

Shooting the man a nasty look, he walked past him without a word. For now, staying silent was the wisest course of action – he couldn't rescue Dot if he was locked up in one of the rooms.

As he got near the stairs, he heard O'Leaginous walking to another door to release Dane, then to the last door, revealing an exhausted looking Wakko. O'Leaginous ordered both of them to grab their bedding and go to the dormitory to get ready for their classes as well.

Yakko stopped halfway up the stairs to wait for Wakko who gave him a depressed look and silently began to follow behind him, Dane bringing up the rear. Not saying a word, the trio went up the stairs, and continued up to the dormitory.

Once they reached the door to the dormitory, Yakko entered, holding it open for the two younger boys. Inside, Wakko dropped his bedding on the floor and fell crying onto Yakko.

"Yakko, I'm sorry, I tried to stop them, I did-"

Yakko picked him up and held him to his chest; the only sibling left...for the moment.

Lost in his own worry and misery, he had momentarily forgotten that Wakko had seen it – hell – had actually tried to fight Dot's kidnapping while he had been locked away. Wakko was likely to be just as miserable and scared as he was.

"Shhhh – it's OK Wak – we'll get her back...I know you did what you could...Dane told me..."

Dane, meanwhile, had dropped his blanket and pillow on his bed, and had gone to look out the window, trying to give the brothers some semblance of privacy to pull themselves together.

"Wakko, go wash your face, and get down to the class; right now I don't want you in any more trouble, OK? And stay clear of both our 'caretakers'," he added, putting a nasty intonation on caretakers...some caretakers... "I'll be down there shortly, OK?"

_Yeah, go to classes; your sister was just violently wrenched away from you, but go study some reading material you mastered a year ago. _

"I don't want to stay here anymore! I want to leave Yakko – I don't care where we - "

_At least Wakko was thinking along the same lines as I am._

"We will be," he muttered in his ear quietly. He wasn't sure how friendly Dane's ears where; he seemed like a decent kid - Wakko liked him - but better to be on the safe side.

"Just keep quiet for now, I'm starting to work on a plan – for now though, we have to keep a low profile."

Wakko wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand and looked at him. "I don't want to go to their stupid class – I want to –"

"Please, Wakko – just do it, OK?" He set him down on the floor. "I promise, I'll think of something, real soon – I'll have a plan. Just need to find out –"

A plan...he had no idea where to start, other than trying to find out which of the other homes she was taken to. And they would need to go to the correct one first instead of hunting them up wasting more time, once they discovered them gone, they would figure that they would make a break for their sister...then they would have to break in, find her, get out...what a bleak tableau.

"Probably need to get her file – I bet a copy is still in that locked filing cabinet that O'Leaginous had brought into his office – TIS loves paperwork – bet they left a copy of it here..."

Yakko turned when Dane said that; he had forgotten about the other boy for a moment.

"Uh, yeah, right."

Half wanting to tell him to mind his own business, Yakko had to admit, the kid was probably right. Not only would he have to get past O'Leaginous and Malocchio, he was going to have to get in the locked drawer, and he had seen the lock. He was no lock pick, and didn't know if he could pull a set of bolt cutters from his hammerspace – he had never tried anything like that. Not to mention the risk of getting caught and losing the key and the one chance he had of being reunited with Dot.

Wakko looked up at him, still with miserable eyes, and Yakko sighed. He had to get over his own fear and depression and other negative emotions before he could help Wakko – this had been a nasty blow to both of them...

"Look, Wakko, please, just go to class and try to stay out of trouble. I promise I'll come up with something soon, and we'll get out of here," he said quietly. He was nervous about the kid behind him now; what if he said something and got them busted before he had even come up with a plan?

Wakko finally nodded. "Are you coming?"

"I'll be along shortly, OK? Hurry or you'll be late and that will get Forrester screaming."

Shooting him a confused look, Wakko left the room, Dane finally leaving the window and sprinting behind him. Yakko saw him catch up to Wakko and put his arm around his shoulder, talking to him as they disappeared down the hall toward the bathrooms. He sincerely hoped the raccoon wasn't planning trouble – especially trouble that would involve his brother. If the kid had any brains, and he always seemed half-way bright, he would know that right now, they didn't need to get caught doing any rule breaking.

Yakko sat on the bed and looked at his watch – they still had about twenty minutes to get to class. He grabbed clean clothing and changed – he hadn't been allowed to take a shower while in his forced isolation, and he would not have time to take one now...Have to do it later.

He looked up at the door opening as Wakko and Dane came running back in, Wakko looking quite a bit happier than he had before.

"Yakko – guess what?"

_Oh jeeze, not right now –_

"We have a plan!"

_Sure you do..._

"Look, Wak, I'll come up with something, OK? Just head down to the classroom –"

"You're not listening – Dane said we-"

"No Wakko. I appreciate that you are both trying to help, but before we can do anything, I still need to locate where she –"

"But we can do that!" Dane yelled at him. "We have an idea that –"

_Who did this kid think he was?_

"I said no!" Seeing Dane's mouth set in a grim line and Wakko's face crumble, he added more gently, "Look guys, I appreciate the help. I'll find out where she is, and we'll go from there, OK? Just go to class before you two get in trouble – you want to be locked in the hole the rest of the week? They put you in there again they're going to be feeding you bread and water – just...just go to class, OK?"

Grumbling, they both looked at each other, nodded, and Yakko crossed his fingers, hoping that they listened to him and did what he asked. They grabbed their school books and headed out of the room, sending him dark looks, and he rolled his eyes – he knew Wakko was trying to help, and it seemed his friend was too, but really, what could a six and eight year old do?

Taking a deep breath, Yakko stood and left the dormitory room and, totally ignoring O'Leaginous orders to get to their half-assed tutoring, went instead directly to the room that used to house the infant to five-year-old girls.

He paused outside the room for a moment, wishing that he could open the door and see his baby sister...

_We'll get you back Dottie_, he thought. _I promised I would never let them split us up, and they won't...not for long._

Turning the knob, he had entered the room quickly, closing the door and leaning his back on it.

Reaching down, he locked the door so that he could be alone, even if only for a few minutes...this was the last place Dot had been...she was so little and helpless, and he hadn't been there to protect her... he, stupid ass, hadn't been there to do anything because he was sitting in an isolation room.

He knew that was unfair to him – he hadn't been doing anything wrong by helping the younger ones. Quite honestly, if Malocchio didn't stick him in there for that, it would have been for something else. The fact that his pillow and blanket had already been down there had told him that much. This was planned; apparently he had a reputation.

Goose was right – he did like to throw a pity party every now and then; however, when the party was over, he tended to think clearer. Better to get it over with now; he was going to need his wits about him in the next few days.

He looked at the room; it was slightly snazzier than the one he and Wakko were in, but still, it was pretty drab. Their room had a dull beige carpet – this room had grey. Their room had beige walls – this room had a light pink, almost blush color.

They must already have furniture at the new place they took all the babies – they had left behind everything – the crib, the four little girl sized beds with the safety railings still attached, the dresser, and a surprisingly nice purple chair...it reminded him of the one Goose sat in at the library every week...

_Shit, he was gonna start crying - damn it, he didn't cry this much when he was an infant…_

He spied something and blinked back the tear quick – something was beside the chair in the back corner by the window – a large cardboard box.

He walked across the room to it and looked inside – a few children's toys – dolls, books – a couple of teddy bears, including one that was pink - black eyes staring back at him...

With a grim look, he snatched it out of the box and looked at it – it was Dot's.

_They ripped her away from her family without even the courtesy of a good bye, and they couldn't even give her the damn toy?_

He looked at the bear, not quite the bright clean pink that it was when Goose had presented it to her; now it was slightly faded from being cuddled and hugged and dragged around for so long. He was tempted to cuddle it himself; right now, it was the only physical reminder that Dot had been there…she had laughed into the bear when she was happy, squeezed it when she was excited; cried into it when she was upset with a scolding; threw it at him a few times when she didn't get her way…

The bear even smelled like her - that clean fresh baby smell…

Biting his lip to keep from screaming in frustration and possibly alerting either of the wardens of this hell of the fact that he was in there, he surveyed the rest of the room. The door Wakko had spoken of was open, and he went to investigate. He was finally in there; hell, maybe he could pick up a clue as to where they had taken her.

The door led to a bedroom, nicely furnished – a large double bed, a chest of drawers, even a vanity and stool. Near the far right corner, he could see inside another door to a bathroom; in the left corner was a walk-in closet. Well, nice to know Ms. Garbo had comfortable living accommodations.

On a whim, he walked all the way in scanning the room, but no personal items had been left. As he passed the window to the left, he took a glance out of it, and noticed that the window looked out on the front of the school; the porch was about three feet below the window.

Giving the bear one final squeeze, he reached into his pocket for the key, and unlocked his cuff, not giving a damn if O'Leaginous saw him at the moment; when he found Dot, the first thing he would do after hugging her till her ears stood on end would be to give her bear back to her. He reached around and gently placed the bear in his hammerspace, feeling it get swept up with the breeze.

He snapped the cuff back on and put the key back in his pocket. He took one last look around the room and walked back out the door to his dormitory to grab his books. He was done moping…time to start thinking like an older brother and get to work on a plan. He would have plenty of time to think in their lame tutoring.

He grabbed his two schoolbooks; he was going to be late to the classes, but better late than never…late meant extra 'tasks'; skipping them meant time down in the hole, and he wouldn't get anything done down there.

He started to quickly run down the stairs to the classroom and opened the door, looking into the furious face of Mr. Forrester, who bellowed for him to get his ass in a seat.

Not wanting to listen to that screaming he turned to look where Wakko was sitting.

He didn't see him, or his crazy friend.

_Son of a…_

They had a family crisis going on, and he was out playing games? Didn't he just tell him to keep a low profile and stay out of trouble?

He started to walk out of the room, grumbling about going to find his brother, and was told again by Forrester to take his seat – he could find his brother after he was out of isolation. Forrester was even kind enough to show him to a seat by grabbing his arm and yanking him back to one, shoving him into it.

_Damn child abuser._

Pushing Forrester out of his mind as he wandered over to another boy, Yakko had yet another question to ponder: it had been fifteen minutes – what could Wakko have possibly done wrong by going down the stairs?

XXXXXXXXXX

_Yakko's going to be really mad at me,_ he thought_. He told me to stay out of trouble._

_Nah, he'll be OK, especially if Dane managed to get that file – bet he'll be really happy then..._

_I hope._

Wakko sat in the corner of isolation room number one, hoping that the plan went off without a hitch; especially since it got him three days in the room – days and nights – he was really scared about that. O'Leaginous, after hauling him down to the room and tossing him in, had said he would be back later with his bedding; for now though he was to stay down there.

_Like I have a choice; the door is locked._

Yakko said it was probably a fire hazard; locking kids in the basement. That really scared him – what if there was a fire and he or Yakko, or any one really was trapped in the room?

He hated the isolation rooms - when he had been in one a few weeks ago, the light had burned out and he had to sit in the dark a long time. He didn't cry, but he'd wanted to.

Trying to push back his fear, he brought his knees up and rested his chin on them, tongue peeking out of the side of his mouth unconsciously. He knew he was going to be thrown in the room; he couldn't cry about it – Yakko called it taking responsibility; he had to be brave and hope the time passed quickly.

Besides, he had done it to find Dot.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a baseball; Dane had snuck it in when he had been brought to the home, and had been nice enough to share it with him since they knew their plan was going to get Wakko thrown in the hole. At least he had something to do besides sit in the stupid chair and wait to be released.

It was a stupid plan, but it was the best he could come up with.

Dane knew where the files for the children were located; even better, Dane was a pretty good lock pick – he learned it from his parents. Dane had told him that there wasn't many doors or locks around he couldn't get into with a little time and patience. He had even broken into O'Leaginous office a few times before being caught and thrown in isolation for a few days. You really didn't have a lot of time if you were trying to break into O'Leaginous' office.

Dane had said that his parents were really good lock picks...they were really good safe crackers too. Wakko didn't think they were too good, since they got picked up last year for robbing the safe at the 'Fifth National Toon Bank', but didn't say that to Dane – it would probably make him mad.

Wakko knew he himself was a really good pickpocket even if Yakko wouldn't let him do anything by himself, but he also knew he knew very little about safe cracking or picking locks. Dane had shown him a couple of tricks, but Dane had a few tools he smuggled in, plus he had claws he could use as tools – Wakko didn't have any claws.

After talking with Dane in the bathroom for a few minutes, he learned that Dane was willing to help him and Yakko break out, even find Dot – if Yakko would agree to use his key to remove the cuff. Dane said that the runny liquid in the cuff would really really hurt if he messed up and broke the locking mechanism and any of that liquid got on him – he said it could burn your hand off.

Wakko had said yes of course – if it was to find Dot, he knew Yakko would release the cuff – he did it all the time to them, right? He could help a friend.

Looking back on it though, he probably should have asked Yakko first – he probably would have liked that better. Looking even harder back, he wondered how Dane knew Yakko even had the key...

But even if Dane could unlock the filing cabinet, he would need time to do it, and break into the office. He would need a distraction.

Wakko had offered to be the distraction – if he could lure O'Leaginous away long enough for Dane to do what he needed to do, getting into trouble again would be worth it.

If it was one thing he knew how to do well, it was get into trouble.

While Dane had waited under the staircase, Wakko had gone outside and grabbed several rocks from the planters. Taking a breath to steel his nerves, he had thrown the rock – right through O'Leaginous office window. When the man had stuck his head out, he had thrown another one. Just for good measure, he threw another rock through an upstairs window – he hoped it wasn't theirs though – the other boys might get mad about glass in their bed.

He had started to laugh - O'Leaginous was so mad that he didn't even yell, just stared at him.

The next thing he knew, O'Leaginous was outside chasing him – he had no idea the man could move so fast. Wakko was pretty fast too – he took off running while O'Leaginous gasped for air and panted behind him, telling him to stop.

Like that was going to happen.

He kept out of the man's reach for awhile...or it felt like awhile anyway. He wanted to give Dane a lot of time. But while they had seen Malocchio leave the home, he didn't leave the property. When Wakko was running past a tree, the skinny opossum toon had grabbed him around the neck with his tail. At least if he was in the yard, he wasn't in the home – Dane would hopefully get what he needed – just one little file...

He tried to still stall by fighting him, but apparently Malocchio wasn't over the bite he gave him on Saturday. Malocchio held him just high enough that his toes were still on the ground, but that was it, and held him that way until O'Leaginous caught up to them. It was hard to be fast when you were fat.

O'Leaginous demanded to know what he thought he was doing – his reply of trying out for the baseball team hadn't gone over well. O'Leaginous told him he was a liar and it was revenge for his sister – Wakko told him he was a kidnapping jerk.

After O'Leaginous was done telling him that everything the home did was in the best interest of all the children, including moving the girls, he had grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him through the home and down the stairs to the isolation room, yelling at him and telling him that he was going to be down there three days – and three nights.

Hopefully Yakko could make a plan with Dot's folder, if Dane had gotten it. He wouldn't find out for three days. But Yakko was really smart – if anyone could come up with something, he would – he was usually right.

He hoped Yakko was wrong about the bread and water thing though.

Wakko sighed, tossing the ball in the air and catching it; he wanted to help rescue Dot, and Yakko had said he didn't have a plan, and couldn't make one until he knew where she was, and he was still trying to make a plan to locate her. He didn't want to listen to him or Dane when they said they had one.

_He never listens to me – even if he didn't like the plan, he could have at least heard it. Now I have to sit here and wonder – Dane wouldn't sneak down here again after what happened over the weekend, and Yakko will be too mad to try to visit; I wonder if he got the -_

Wakko heard a knocking at the door, and quickly put the ball in his pocket.

"Wak? You in there kiddo?"

_Yakko._

Wakko swallowed; if he was mad enough that he had come down there to talk to him, he was in a lot of trouble.

Nervously, Wakko got up and ran to the door, pressing his ear against it to hear him better.

"Yeah – I'm here."

_Please don't be too mad, we tried..._

"He got it; I know where she is now."

Wakko breathed a big sigh of relief – getting into trouble had been worth it.

"I'm sorry Yakko – I tried to tell you –"

"It's OK – I understand – and I'm sorry too – I should listen a bit more sometimes – we'll talk about it when your out -"

_That didn't sound too bad..._

His brother stopped talking for a second as Wakko heard another voice – it sounded like it was further away though.

"I've got to run - O'Leaginous is coming with Malocchio – I'll try to visit with you in awhile...hang in there kiddo – I've already got a plan."

Wakko, ear pressed as hard as he could press it against the door, listened as his brother's footsteps quickly disappeared, and when he heard other footsteps, a much heavier sound than Yakko's, he quickly went to sit in the chair, trying to look as innocent as possible as the two bullies opened the door to toss in his bedding.

Yakko had a plan – hopefully they could get out soon.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ok, Wakko, Dane – you both understand what we're doing, right?"

Yakko watched as both boys nodded. They all had to be on the same page – it was Saturday night - slightly over one week since Dot's forced relocation. They were making their great escape and rescue attempt; if anyone messed up, got nervous, and they got caught, it was over.

The bathroom wasn't exactly the best place for a stealth operations planning, but he had been unable to find anywhere else to go to talk to them in some sort of privacy – only a few boys had come in, and they had stopped all conversation until the other boys had left.

"Good. Nothing heroic, no hot-dogging, nothing...you both listen to me - this is our only shot guys – for all of us."

"Got it Yakko," Wakko piped in, nervous but showing a surprising amount of determination on his face.

"And the only chance to get the hell out of this filthy shithole," Dane muttered.

_For a little kid, he really had a mouth on him._

"Agreed," Wakko said.

_Well, at least it didn't appear to be rubbing off on Wakko._

Looking at the two for a second, he couldn't help smirking – _what a pair._

Wakko and Dane, bless their troublemaking little hides, had managed to get step one of the operation going– they found out where Dot was...and answered the question of why the hell they had been kept away from her for so long before she was moved…and all within an hour of being released from isolation Monday.

Normally he would have been furious with Wakko for his little stunt – not only was what they had done stupid, it got him locked away for three days, – but, since he and his friend got the job done where he had been unable to figure out a plan, he was willing to overlook it for the greater good.

Even more surprisingly, his little sibling had actually had a plan. It wasn't a good plan, and he wished that Wakko had told him, but his heart was in the right place, and he did get the job done.

When he found out that Wakko was in solitary confinement again, he had been worried about his brother, but also angry at him – they had a family crisis going on, and we was running around causing havoc with his friend – and he thought he had been right. His little friend was missing for the class session as well.

Yakko had gone to O'Leaginous after the class he had been trapped in to find out what his brother had done, and had been rudely told that his hellion brother had proceeded to destroy TIS property by breaking the windows and running around like a crazy in the yard.

Yakko had blinked at him - he hoped that wasn't Wakko's brilliant plan - break the windows in the building. Yeah, that'll get Dot back quick.

Figuring that Wakko was only six and it may have been the best he could come up with, he didn't even realize that his brother's troublemaking friend hadn't been mentioned. He decided not to worry about it - the kid wasn't his responsibility - he had enough problems keeping the two that were.

Shaking his head, he headed upstairs, not really hungry for lunch with the other boys. The stress of the whole thing must have made his brother temporarily flip.

He had entered the dormitory, expecting to have a few minutes of solitude, and dropped his two schoolbooks on his bed. Sitting down, he had laid down on his back, arms folded behind his head, trying to think of what he was supposed to do - stuck in this place, one sibling gone crazy, the other just gone. He had been shocked as hell when he opened his eyes and saw Dane standing over him, smirking.

Jumping up, he had asked the boy what he thought he was doing; he had scared the hell out of him. Still smirking, the little smartass had said doing him a favor - for a price, and removed Dot's file from his shirt front.

The little bandit and his crazy brother had concocted the whole 'one distracts the caretakers so the other one can steal the file with the information'.

It was a crude plan, but it was effective; couldn't argue with that.

His price was unlocking the cuff and letting him escape with them. He didn't want to stay with them; apparently there was a group of street kids he hung with over in Clampett, and he wanted to go back there.

Yakko had denied knowing what he was talking about with unlocking the cuffs, but the little punk had told him to stuff it – he had seen both Yakko and Wakko without their wrist cuff in the bathroom and the front yard.

Yakko had always thought he had been very careful in hiding it too – so much for that.

Had to give it to him – the little punk was crafty.

Yakko had thought about denying him - he was taking a hell of a risk as it was - he was going to escape with his two young siblings, probably to live as street kids until he could come up with something better. Bad enough to sentence them to that, could he do it to another kid?

_But he had the file…_

Yakko was torn - thinking from that point of view - was he being selfish? He was going to be pulling his two sibs out onto the streets to face who knows what - at least here they had a roof over their head and food…

But they were split already - with the news that this home was closing and the few boys still left here would soon be sent to the other homes – he had already lost one sibling - there was a chance that he would lose his other one…and he knew he couldn't lose either of them…

Now there was another child who wanted to escape from the home to also go live on the streets. Of course he didn't want to stay with them, just help getting past the fence and losing the cuff, but was that fair - to sentence a child that young to that?

_But he had the file…_

Yakko had looked at the kid, about six inches taller than Wakko, definitely more built, and the kid stared back at him through eyes as dark as his own, peering at him through the dark fur that surrounded his eyes.

Yakko sighed, not only did he have the file he so desperately wanted, he couldn't leave someone there that so plainly wanted to get out. Dane had made several escape attempts on his own, but had always been caught; Malocchio patrolled the grounds a lot.

After questioning the kid further, he had found out that Dane not only had "Schlesinger Syndrome", he had some training in it as well – his parents had been training him before they got themselves thrown into Panic Pen for bank robbery.

Apparently the kid had managed to get away from TIS for a year, hiding out with a small gang of street children before slipping up and getting nabbed at a convenience store for stealing some _Tastey-Cakes_. What pissed the kid off the most was the fact that not only did he mess up and drop his guard for a second – the _Tastey-Cakes_ had been stale too.

Yakko had snorted and shook the kid's hand, agreeing, and was glad that his brother was able to make friends so easily – especially a friend with a talent for lock picking. Then he had taken the file and began looking at it.

Inside were transfer papers – she had been sent to J.D. Baker Estates in Neverlandia. That district was on the other side of Wishing-Star District; probably an hour bus ride including all the stops.

Curious about what else had been happening with his sister, he began looking at the file and discovered quickly why they had been denied seeing her every day, and why a few times it was almost a month till they saw her – they had sent her to live with foster families – several times from the looks of it.

Yakko felt himself growing angrier the more papers he looked at – they had apparently been trying to adopt her out and had been having problems with it – she cried too much seemed the most common phrase in the folder. It was believed that removing her from seeing her brothers would help wean her off them, therefore making her more adoptable. At the time being, she was considered unacceptable for adoption.

According to the notes, they had even taken her bear at some point – again believing it was a link to her family and would keep reminding her of them.

_Damn – heartless bastards – they had sent her to live with strangers, more than once, and they couldn't even let her family know she was gone? Then they confiscated her bear._

Well, at least they kept good notes – it answered his questions anyway.

He wished he knew the layout of J.D. Bakers Estates – after getting over there, he was going to have to grab her quick and then get out of there. That would be easier if he knew where in the home she was – Dane had tried to sneak back into O'Leaginous' office to see if he could find a map or something about it, but had not been successful.

He was glad he had agreed with Dane when he had; O'Leaginous had appeared in the room almost like magic and had grabbed the kid then, dragging him off to isolation for a few days for skipping out on class. Yakko had barely had time to hide the file in his shirt when the door opened.

Slipping out of his flashback he looked at the two children; Wakko a bundle of energy; Dane calm and collected looking.

"All right guys, lets get back to the dorm and make it look good. As soon as the others are asleep, I'll motion you to follow me – we'll get these off," he said quietly, pointing to his wrist, "and dump them somewhere."

_And hopefully none of us will ever see another HRC again._

With a nod to each other, they went back to the dorm, Yakko holding back a minute just to make the times look staggered. He didn't know if he was being overly cautious or not; he doubted anyone had watched them when they entered the bathroom, but right now he was a ball of nervous energy. He not only was responsible for getting them out of the home safely, but he had to get them off the grounds, which could be problematic. He knew they were being monitored more – mostly due to Dane and a few other kids trying to run off.

The fence was falling into a state of disrepair though; due to the home getting ready to be closed, TIS had seemingly decided to not bother spending the money to repair anything. The large black bars in a section of the fence on the side of the property were loose – a few good kicks should get them loose enough that the three of them could slip through.

After that, he planned on running to a bus stop – not the one next to the home – and heading over to Neverlandia, finding the J.D. Baker Estates home, and...well, he would wing it – hopefully it would be an in and out operation.

After brushing his teeth, he decided enough time had passed and he went back to the dormitory, getting into bed. Catching Wakko's eye, he gave him a smile, which he returned before closing his eyes. Across the room from him Dane was already feigning sleep as Mr. Malocchio silently came in, observed the room, and flicked off the light, shuffling off down the hall toward the room he had been staying in.

Yakko squinted to see his watch in the moonlight streaming in the window – two hours should be plenty of time for everyone to fall asleep. He settled back to think and wait to get the others.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Yakko peered back down at his watch – 10:48 P.M. – close enough. If he didn't get up now, he was going to fall asleep and the plan would be sunk.

As quietly as he could, he got out of the bed and reached across to his brother's bed. Wakko had fallen asleep – he wasn't surprised – but woke up easily enough. Dane was groggy but awake when Yakko crept over to tap his shoulder.

All three of them crept from the room, sneaking back into the room across the hall that had housed the infant girls.

Closing the door over behind them, Yakko quickly took the key out of his pocket and unlocked all three of their cuffs. If something happened, they would be able to access their hammerspace, giving them somewhat of a fighting chance. It was only O'Leaginous and Malocchio – they could probably outrun them and hide, but if one of them got their hands on them, they could be restrained.

He would rather avoid that all together. Even if they got away, one of those two would no doubt call not only the police, but the other homes, warning them to keep a lookout since they would be coming for Dot.

Tossing the cuffs under a bed so they wouldn't be spotted easily, he motioned to Wakko and Dane to follow him back to the second bedroom that had belonged to Ms. Garbo. They both looked at each other and shrugged, tiptoeing after him.

Opening the window, Yakko looked down at the porch. It wasn't a big drop, but if they could drop down quietly to the porch roof, he could make it down to the railing, and from there lift each of the boys to the porch, enabling their escape from the actual building anyway. Then came the yard.

Resolving to take it one step at a time, he sat on the sill, dangling his legs outside, and slid out, landing with a light thud on the roof of the porch. Holding his arms up, he caught Wakko, then Dane as they dangled out the window. He then went to the edge of the porch and crawled down to the railing, again helping the two smaller children to the porch.

Holding his hand up, everyone froze...he thought he had heard something.

After a few minutes of everyone frozen like a deer in headlights, he decided that he was hearing things, and waved his hand for everyone to follow him. Both boys were practically stepping on him as they quietly ran down the steps and began to make their way across the yard, trying to stick to the shadows cast from the trees and building as much as possible.

Yakko wished his and Wakko's face and feet fur wasn't so brilliant white – between that and their gloves, they were practically glowing in the moonlight.

After what seemed like an obscenely long time, they reached the section where the loose rails were. Dane and Wakko waited behind him nervously as he began to go over the fence, trying to find the exact loose bars he had noted – they were slightly more difficult to find in the moonlight.

Yakko took one look back at the home over his shoulder; he'd always remember this place. Mentally talking to himself, he decided he was making the right decision – he would never come back to one of these homes, and he'd never allow his siblings to be brought back to one - he didn't care what it took. They would never be separated again after this night.

Hearing a noise, he ducked back into a tree, hoping that Wakko and Dane had jumped behind the hydrangea bush. He heard a small choking sound, and very carefully he stuck his head around the side of the tree to see what had happened.

_Crap._

Malocchio had both boys, one hand wrapped around each child's throat, and was holding them just high enough that only their toes were on the ground. He watched both of them kick at the foul tempered opossum before concentrating on just standing so they could breath.

Frowning, Yakko could hear him hissing something to them, and both boys just stared back at Malocchio, neither even breaking eye contact.

Good – he could sneak behind him and surprise Malocchio – he had really wanted to brain O'Leaginous, but Malocchio would certainly be a more than adequate substitution. Plus he could finally use his mallet that Goose had given him so long ago – maybe one day he'd see her again and he could tell her all about the first time he got to use it.

Concentrating, he pulled the mallet and looked at it, almost lovingly stroking it, before holding it in the ready position; elbows tucked into his sides, hands clutching the handle of the mallet -left on the bottom, the right directly on the top - the head of the mallet tossed back behind his right shoulder. Thankfully Goose had drummed into his head how to wield a toon mallet - it took a little bit of concentrating on his part…

If his Chucking was off, he could seriously injure the opossum - even kill him. Goose had shown him several times - mostly on his own head - how to 'Chuck' the mallet at the right time; it needed to go rubbery at the moment of impact. It was basically the same theory as running into a wall or falling a far distance - you had to think about what part was going to hit, what was going to be effected, what part of the mallet, your body, a baseball bat, whatever - was going to strike and make it go rubbery or spongy.

He had never done it himself though - while Goose had a ball using his head as a timpani, she said she wasn't stupid enough to allow him to do it to her - not at the time she was training him. He had practiced it at the apartment quite a bit, but his results had been 'hit or miss', so to speak, and he had not practiced it in almost a year now, concentrating mostly on Fritzing when he had the opportunity to do anything.

He hoped he could remember what she said - he didn't want to hurt or kill Malocchio - knocking him senseless long enough for him to let go of the two kids and get through the fence - definitely - maybe even long enough for him to get Dot rescued - he wouldn't object to that either. Hopefully if he did it right, the nasty creature would wake in the morning with a nasty headache.

Silently sending out yet another 'thank you' to Goose, he began to creep toward the opossum.

Wakko and Dane, to their credit, didn't look at him at all when he began to creep around the tree and toward Malocchio , who he could hear now - he was asking the boys where he was. Both kids gave a sort of shrug and continued to stare into his face.

_Just a few more steps…_

Suddenly Malocchio's tail, which he had not been watching, snaked out and slapped around his throat. Surprised, he almost dropped the mallet, but managed to keep his grip.

Hoping he was doing things right, he swung the mallet down, concentrating on seeing it go rubbery enough. He missed the opossum's head, hitting his tail right where it connected with his scrawny ass instead. He did it right though - instead of hearing a crack from a breaking bone, he heard instead the traditional 'thang' sound he usually heard on his head.

It had the desired effect though; Malocchio howled in pain and dropped both Wakko and Dane.

Still holding his mallet and facing an enraged Malocchio, he barely glanced at them, instead snapping, "Run! Now - through the fence - wait there."

Wakko hesitated, then said, "What? We can't leave you -"

_Does he always have to argue?_

"Wakko! Now!"

Wakko turned and sped off toward the fence, Dane on his heels, and Yakko put them from his mind - he had another problem at the moment.

Yakko, holding his mallet in the ready position and Malocchio, fists clenched, slowly circled each other. Malocchio was probably more than a foot taller than him - this was going to be a challenge.

"Give it up kid - I don't want to hurt you," Malocchio hissed at him. "You won't get out- "

_Great, he didn't have enough of his own doubts in his mind, now he was going to hear them out loud from this guy._

"You're going to call those two kids back, and we're going to go back in that home, put those cuffs back on-"

"The hell we will - we are getting the hell out of here, and you can take those cuffs and shove them hard up -"

Malocchio then made a horrible noise - a strange hissing sound that seemed to come from the back of his throat, and charged at him - he took a guess that the toon didn't like his suggestion of what to do with those cuffs.

When he saw Malocchio come at him, he blindly brought the mallet down, wincing and wishing one of his hands was free so he could cross his fingers. He heard the 'thanging' sound, and he opened one eye, expecting to see Malocchio's hand coming toward his neck.

Instead he saw Malocchio lying on the ground with a stupid smile on his face, eyes closed.

_Oh no - I did it wrong; I killed him…_

Quickly he went to check the toon, and heaved a huge sigh of relief - he had done it right - Malocchio was going to have one hell of a headache in the morning, but he was fine…

_And I did it right!_

Despite the hell this week had been, he felt a little hope and pride - first two shots he had ever done with the mallet - and he did it right! Goose would be proud, if he could tell her.

Checking the toon one more time, he heard him humming a silly tune under his breath - the guy really was knocked senseless. Listening closer, Yakko recognized the tune…Malocchio was humming 'Dance of the Cuckoos'. Yakko was barely able to choke back a laugh.

Whatever, the more time he spent there laughing at Malocchio and feeling good about himself, the more time was wasted getting them out of there and over to Dot.

Standing up, he put his mallet back in his hammerspace and ran toward the fence, noticing his sibling and his friend staring at him through the bars - the opening was big enough for Wakko and Dane to squeeze through; he was going to have more problems…

After five minutes of wedging, pushing, kicking, and pulling his body in positions that his body just should not be put in, he was able to get through and motioned the two toward him - they needed to get going.

They both came toward him, looks of amazement on their faces.

"Yakko," Dane said, coming up to him to shake his hand, "I have to say, that was fucking faboo."

_Yep, for a little kid, he really had a mouth on him._

"Yeah Yakko - fucking faboo!"

"Wakko Warner," he said, flicking the base of his brother's ear, "don't let me hear you say that again."

"He gets to say it," he muttered, rubbing his ear and glaring at Dane, who had thrown his head back and was currently roaring with laughter. "It sounds neat."

Yakko rolled his eyes – _jeeze, this one…_

"Well, it's not going to be neat if I hear you say it again."

"But -"

_He's trying to drive me crazy._

"Look, the second word is neat enough - you're safe with faboo."

"Well faboo then!"

_Lord, what did he start?_

"Now, if we're done obtaining you a catchphrase, can we please get going? The more time we waste here, the less time we have to get Dot and get far far far away from here."

He turned to Dane, holding his own hand out this time. The little street kid had really helped out, more than once.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did before - we would never have gotten that file - I'll gladly get your bus ticket to Clampett -"

"Hold up slick - I'm not going anywhere yet."

_Slick?_

"I thought you wanted to go back to Clampett with -"

"I do, but I said I would help rescue your sis before I did that." Dane put one arm around Yakko's waist, and the other arm around Wakko's shoulders. "Not like I have anything else to do."

Yakko looked at Wakko, who looked delighted, and then down at Dane, who was grinning at him, and he rolled his eyes again.

_He was planning on doing a rescue mission, and his helpers were Laurel and Hardy._

End Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10 - Family Sticks Together_

"This bus heads to Neverlandia, right?" Yakko added, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. This was the third bus they had stopped - the first one was out of service, and the second one was going to Plimpton - definitely didn't want to head there.

The bus driver, a sleepy looking chimpanzee, nodded his head, smiling.

_Seems like a friendly sort…_

"Yeah kid, heading straight there. You want on or you gonna stand in the door all night?"

"Yeah, on, we need to get there."

Yakko threw money in the box for the three of them. Turning, he motioned to Wakko and Dane to follow him, and they hesitantly came up the stairs.

The driver eyed them, then turned back to Yakko.

"Sound like you kids are in a hurry. You guys are a little young to be out so late - everything OK?"

_Great, he's so friendly he's going to be nosy._

"Yeah, yeah it's fine – just really late for curfew."

_If he buys that, I'll eat my shirt._

"Shame; hope you don't get in trouble. Folks can be unreasonable."

_Damn. Better find some salt._

"We'll be fine, just tired and in a bit of a hurry."

"I hear ya, driving these night shifts, ugh," the chimp said, pulling the handle to close the door.

Pushing his hat forward with his tail, the driver leaned over the wheel like Dick Dastardly in the last lap of a Wacky Race.

Yakko sat in a seat in the middle of the empty bus, pulling Wakko into his lap, while Dane stretched out in a seat across the aisle from him. Pulling a comb from his hammerspace, Dane began to comb the tangles out of his long striped tail. Yakko rested his chin on Wakko's head when the driver spoke again.

"What part of Neverlandia you going to kiddies?"

_Why won't this guy be quiet?_

"Mitchell Street."

_That's where the home is - hopefully this guy knows where Mitchell Street is - hell, he's the bus driver, he should know._

The driver snorted. "Mitchell is a big street. Any particular area?"

_Damn. Be stupid to mention the home - home was at 512 Mitchell Street - heck with it, just give him the block…_

"We'll be OK if you drop us near the 500 block."

_Please don't ask any more questions…_

"Will do kid; there's a stop near there."

The driver fell quiet, and Yakko settled back into the seat, exhausted. Feeling Wakko lean back into his chest, he ruffled his hair briefly.

"Yakko, I'm cold."

Yakko gave a little shiver as well; the air conditioning on the bus was turned pretty high.

"Here kid, wear this," Dane said from across the aisle. He reached into his hammerspace and after a few seconds pulled out an oil-stained denim jacket and tossed it to Wakko.

"Thanks."

"No problem little man; I outgrew that shit awhile ago; keep it."

Wakko began to put it on over his t-shirt that he had changed into. Yakko threw Dane a smile of thanks as he held the right arm for Wakko.

"Will we be able to find her?" Wakko asked as he settled back into Yakko's chest.

Yakko looked down at his brother.

"I hope so Wak."

Yakko curled his arms around him and looked up; the driver was watching them in the mirror up front. Yakko was thankful that he had all of them change clothing before they got on the bus. If the driver was a little suspicious now, he would have been more so if they were running around in the trademark TIS uniform.

He had made them run for almost eight blocks before taking a break, having to carry Wakko at one point. Dane struggled to keep up with Yakko's longer legs, and finally had to beg off for a breather. Yakko had spied an alley between two stores, a tea shop and a gown shop, and had gotten everyone in the alley, finally changing clothing behind a dumpster.

Wakko had been thrilled his jeans and dark blue t-shirt fit better; they were Yakko's outgrown clothing, and were still slightly too big, but he would grow into them. Yakko noticed his own clothing actually fit; his own grey t-shirt and jeans having been too big for him the last time he wore them.

Yakko had momentarily worried; he didn't have any extra clothing for Dane, and they couldn't run around with him in the uniform without it being noticeable. Once again though, the resourceful toon surprised him, pulling an odd assortment of clothing and other items out of his own hammerspace.

Dane finally decided on a pair of jeans with a black t-shirt, also pulling on a black sweatshirt a size too big, saying that he wanted everything to blend into the night if they were going to be creeping around another TIS home. Pulling on a black ball cap, he had thrown the uniform on the ground and walked off to the front of the alley to keep watch while the brothers finished changing.

Yakko had nodded and taken everyone's discarded uniforms and stuffed them deep in the dumpster; no sense in leaving a trail if they could help it. He had really wanted to burn the uniforms, preferably on O'Leaginous desk, but that was a dream that would have to be denied.

Taking another glace down at Wakko, he noticed that his brother had fallen asleep in his lap, tongue gently hanging out of the left side of his mouth.

Glancing over at Dane, he noticed that the raccoon had given up on his grooming and had leaned his upper body against the wall, eyes closed as his head bounced against the window with the movement of the bus.

Yakko shrugged; everyone might as well grab a cat-nap while they could; he had a feeling they had one hell of a night still ahead of them.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey kids, you gonna nap on my bus all night?"

Yakko jerked awake, momentarily groggy, and looked around, wondering where the hell he was.

Seeing the interior of the bus, his sleeping brother in his lap, the driver looking at them in the rear view mirror, and the raccoon across the aisle from him, he remembered.

"Yeah, sorry about that mister."

Dane was waking up, uncurling his tail from his lap and stretching. Yakko, rubbing sleep from his own eyes, stood, holding Wakko against his chest. Dane had gotten up and was almost off the bus, pulling his cap low over his face as he went down the stairs.

As Yakko passed the driver, he tried to avoid the chimp's gaze, muttering a thanks as he passed him. He hated having the man see them, but hoped that if they got in and out of the home quickly, they could go into hiding before anyone started a search and began interviewing witnesses.

Yakko stepped off the bus step and onto the pavement, feeling Wakko start to stir in his arms. Looking around, Yakko tried to get his bearings, and noticed they were in the 600 block of Mitchell Street. Oh well, only a block off - they could do more walking.

"Gotta haul - we want to hit this place while everyone's still knocked the fuck out snoozing."

"Do you swear like this all the time, or is it just stress?" Yakko asked, annoyed.

"Oh bite me, it's fun," Dane said cheerfully. "You gotta lighten up slick, be cool -"

"It's not cool, and you aren't cool because you -"

"Yakko, Dane is cool," Wakko piped in, still in his arms. "He's not like some cock-knockers who have no fucking manners."

Yakko stared at Wakko, wide-eyed, almost dropping him he was so shocked. Meanwhile Dane threw his head back and laughed, finally having to lean against the wall of a tea shop, holding his left side while wiping tears from his eyes, trying to catch his breath.

Making a mental note to scold Wakko later about his language, Yakko slid him to the ground as Dane continued to chuckle. At the moment, the biggest concern was finding this home, and getting Dot.

"Ok, we need 512 -"

Wakko was looking at a few buildings, squinting at the numbers.

"This is 609," he said, then pointed to another building to the right. "That's 607 - we need to go that way."

"Right. Lets move guys; night's slipping away," Yakko replied, moving down the sidewalk, watching the numbers continue to go down.

They spotted the home before they reached it. It was no mansion, but this home actually looked like a house, and was considerably larger and better kept than the Brutus-Nero House. This home had a whitewashed brick exterior, many windows, and a large porch complete with several pillars supporting a black shingled balcony for the second floor. He was vaguely reminded of Tara in 'Gone with the Wind'.

Baker Estates was sitting in the middle of a large grassy yard, tucked away behind a tall brick and wrought iron fence. The gate was closed; just as well, it was too well lit for him to even consider going in. Up the driveway he could see five of the yellow and white TIS cars sitting in front of the house.

Coming up on the home on the wrong side of the street, they stood in the shadow of a shop specializing in apparel for pixie's and elves. They looked at the home for a few minutes; Yakko with his arm around Wakko, Dane leaning against the wall of the building flipping a coin, no one saying a word.

Finally, Wakko spoke quietly.

"It's sort of pretty."

"Yeah, it's pretty, on the outside," Yakko said. "Remember what happens on the inside of these places though."

Wakko nodded.

"We gonna do this slick?"

Yakko turned to look at the raccoon.

Tense, he swallowed. "Yeah, we better get going I guess. You guys ready?"

Both boys nodded.

"OK. The street lights are illuminating the yard on this side. I'm thinking we'll be better off heading toward the back of the house; it looks darker back in that direction."

With that, they all began to walk down the sidewalk, finally leaving the shadow of the apparel shop to cross the street, running down the fence line that was now completely obscured by shadows from the home and trees near the fence.

Once again, due to their small size, Wakko and Dane could squeeze through the bars, though this squeeze was much tighter than at their home.

Yakko looked overhead and saw a branch hanging low enough that he could grab it if he could make a fantastic jump. Seeing the brick base of the fence, he climbed on it and started trying to jump to grab it. After four or five unsuccessful attempts and landing on his ass in the sidewalk and giving Wakko and Dane a few minutes of chuckles, he was able to grab at the end of the branch and pull himself up and over the fence.

Pointing, he started to make his way toward the home, staying low. Unlike the other home which had few bedrooms, this one looked like it could host more children. That meant more kid's that could be awake, or perhaps even caretakers that were keeping a watch out at night.

Finally, after an agonizingly slow crawl across the side lawn, they were on the side of the house.

The bottom level on this side had two windows, extremely high up on the house. He wanted to look in and make sure the coast was clear before they went barging in like the swat team.

Motioning Wakko over to him, he picked him up and stood him on his shoulders, trying to avoid standing in the multitude of azalea bushes lining the side of the house. Unfortunately Wakko was still a good foot too short. Yakko, who had been loosely holding his ankles, felt him try to jump up, and thought his collarbone was going to break with Wakko landing back on it.

"Stop that Wakko," he hissed. "You wanna break every bone I have?"

"Sorry – I can't see."

"Hold still for a second."

Dane climbed onto Yakko, almost pulling his pants off in the process, then climbed onto Wakko, who whined that Dane was too heavy for him. Yakko hushed him and looked up to see Dane grabbing the sill and pulling himself up.

Wakko, who had been crumbling under Dane's weight, toppled over backwards from Yakko's shoulders. Yakko barely caught his ankles before he hit the ground. Setting him upright, he saw Dane motioning him to move, and he backed up as the little toon tried to jump into his arms. He missed and ended up jumping into the azalea bush with a thud and a muttered 'fuck me'.

_I'm so tempted to start whistling 'Three Blind Mice'._

"It's clear– not a damn person stirring in this part of the house," Dane whispered, crawling out of the bush, pink flowers stuck in his left ear.

Yakko nodded. "Good. There's a side door farther down; we'll try to get in there."

"Let's have a look then, get this going and rescue the damsel in distress and all that other Disney crap."

Snorting , Yakko followed behind the raccoon, Wakko directly behind him. When they reached the door, they climbed the three steps leading up to it. Standing on the small wooden porch, Yakko looked inside the door's window to see it lead to the kitchen – a very large kitchen. Dane bent to examine the lock, hemming and hawing and muttering to himself like a scientist examining a new specimen for the first time.

Anxiously, Yakko asked, "Can you pick it or not stripes? If not, I'll have to -"

"Chill slick – leave it to me," he said, continuing to mutter to himself. "Basic lock; two tumblers, no catch." He threw his head back and laughed. "What a bullshit lock! Be more secure if they had locked it with a Twizzler!"

"Keep it down you nut!" Yakko hissed. "You want the whole house to hear what you think of their lock?"

_Knew this was a bad idea._

"Wouldn't mind a bit – if they knew, they could upgrade and offer me a challenge."

Wakko scratched his head. "If they had better locks though, it would be harder to get in. Wouldn't that be bad for us?"

_Sometimes, Wakko could bring a refreshing naivety to a conversation._

"Uh, yeah, right little man," Dane mumbled as Yakko just put his hand over his eyes and shook his head, having a feeling that they were all going to get arrested for trespassing before the night was out.

Yakko began to pace in front of the door, while Wakko sat on the step, chin propped up on his knees, tongue peeking out the side of his mouth while Dane went to work.

Ten minutes later, Dane was still working on the lock, Yakko was afraid he was going to wear a path in the wooden planks of the porch, and Wakko had moved to stand beside Dane, holding a multitude of tools the raccoon had dug out of his hammerspace.

Finally, Yakko stopped pacing on the porch and turned to Dane, saying sarcastically, "Uh, stripes, thought you said this lock was a piece of cake?"

Dane turned to look at him, scowling. "It will be – don't rush me slick – good things take time."

"I wish it was a lock made of Twizzlers," Wakko mumbled. "I'm hungry."

"Hell, we make it out of this I'll buy us all some Twizzlers," muttered Yakko.

"Make it M&M's," Dane muttered back at him, holding a metal rod in his mouth while talking. "Twizzlers suck, little plastic pieces of sh-yeah! Got it!"

Yakko had turned back toward him as the grinning lock pick pumped his fist in the air, then turned the doorknob, opening the door.

Gratefully, Yakko picked the kid up and hugged him, twirling him around before dumping him on the step next to Wakko. Dane staggered, finally leaning against the porch railing trying to regain his equilibrium. Meanwhile, Wakko thrust all the burglar tools into the stunned boy's arms and started to run in the door.

Yakko grabbed Wakko by the back of his jacket before he got both feet on the linoleum floor. Closing the door to try to dull the sound of the potential argument that was sure to be looming, he lifted Wakko up, depositing him on the bottom step out of the way.

"No way pal - you're staying out here."

"But Dot -"

"No Wakko - I've got to rescue one sibling. The sibling that I know where he's at is staying put. You stand right there," Yakko said, pointing to the right corner of the building, which was heavily shadowed, "and you don't move, got it?"

Wakko crossed his arms and gave him a sulky look while Yakko looked back at him, crossing his own arms and standing firm.

"I mean it Wakko - don't push me on this. Not now."

_I'm nervous and edgy enough as it is._

After a full minute of staring at each other while Dane stood to the side and watched in amusement, Wakko backed down.

"Oh all right," he muttered, sulking and going to stand where indicated. Leaning his back against the wall, almost hidden in the shadow except his face and feet, he crossed his arms and looked at the ground.

_Lot less arguing than usual anyway._

"What about me slick?" Dane asked, smirking. "Am I gonna have to go stand in the corner too?" He batted his eyes at him. "I promise I'll behave…"

"Look, I should be the one to go in-"

"Gonna come as a shock to you, but I do know how to take care of myself."

Yakko ran his hand through his hair; already on edge, he didn't want to have to worry about Wakko and this kid too.

"Look, I can appreciate that," Yakko said, then stopped, coming up with an idea as he watched Wakko starting to bounce around in the shadows. "Honestly, you want to do something helpful - really helpful?"

_Hate to even think this, but the kid was smart enough to realize the situation, and I think I trust him enough…_

Dane shrugged, then nodded.

Yakko took a breath, hoping he wasn't sounding too desperate, or, God-forbid, too much like the damn closing reel of a Disney film.

"Watch Wakko. Please. I know him; he won't want to stay there too long." Worried, he took a breath, then continued as Dane watched him, looking surprised. "Look, I hate to ask, really, but I don't want to be worrying…not about him too... if something happens, I get caught - just, ya know…"

"It's OK slick, I understand…" the raccoon trailed off for a second with a strange look on his face. "Look, I'm only gonna say this one time, then I'll deny I said this shit till the day I die." He stuck his hand out. "You trust me with something you really value while you go creeping around Hell House looking for your sis. Appreciate that."

Yakko sent a silent thank you out to whatever deity watches over toons that they had the fortune to run into the little criminal.

Yakko snorted and shook his hand.

_Now, try to recover whatever's left of my manhood._

"Stripes, that was so touching I'm about to wipe a tear from my eye."

Dane jerked his hand away, shoving it in his pocket. "Yeah, whatever. I'll watch after Fievel no matter what - go find your sister."

Yakko gave him a smile as he jumped off the porch and began to walk toward Wakko, who had been watching them. He gave his brother a small wave, which Wakko half-heartedly returned.

"Good Luck."

Yakko turned around before heading into the house, whispering to Dane, "Thanks. You too."

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko watched Dane walk toward him as Yakko, with a small wave, went through the door, gently closing it behind him.

_He never lets me do anything!_

Dane walked up to him, putting his arm around his shoulder and talking quietly.

"Come on little man, what's the problem? We got your bro in, no one's spotted us -"

"He never lets me help though," Wakko grumbled. "He always wants me to wait on the side, like I'm some little kid that can't do anything."

"He's just worried," Dane replied, still talking quietly. "Hey, would it be better if he didn't worry, let you run all over and not caring if you got hurt?" Dane sighed, looking at the sky before turning back to him. "Probably nice to have someone looking out for you."

Wakko thought about it for a minute, then finally shrugged.

"It's ok. Just be nice to be able to do something."

"Well, staying here is doing something - you're keeping me company - slick didn't want me in there either -"

Wakko shook his head - Dane didn't understand either.

"No! I want to actually do something - something to help - not just 'stay out of the way Wakko'," he said, trying to mimic Yakko's high voice.

Suddenly a thought came to him. "Hey, I know what we can do!"

"Oh shit," muttered Dane, but Wakko ignored him.

"That was the kitchen! We should grab some food! Might be awhile till we can eat, but if we have stuff with us -"

Dane cut him off, smiling. "You know little man, that's actually not a bad idea...though slick's gonna be mad if yo-I mean we - leave this spot..."

"He won't even know! Maybe we can surprise him later by making him a sandwich," Wakko said, grinning at the other boy.

Dane then slapped him five. "Thought I was a crafty shit - you got me beat though! All right - let's go get us some grub!" Dane looked at him again. "We do this though little man, we gotta be really quiet – we don't want to alert anyone to what's going on down here or with your bro, OK?"

Wakko nodded – it was a reasonable request.

With that, both boys headed back toward the door, Dane in the lead, and quietly climbed the porch. Wakko, nervous but happy to be doing something, stood guard on the porch as Dane peeked in the door, then slowly pushed it open creeping inside. Wakko followed him in.

Stepping into the darkened kitchen, Wakko looked around. It was really big, and a lot nicer than the one at the old home. All the appliances were shiny and new, the floor wasn't scuffed with pieces of the linoleum peeling up, and even in the dim light, he could tell the walls didn't have that dull look to the paint.

Wakko turned to see Dane already going through a drawer in the island in the middle of the floor. Shrugging, Wakko went to a cabinet near the stove and opened it; cooking pots and pans.

"Come here little man," Dane hissed quietly. "Look what I found – freaking-A huh?"

Wakko looked inside and grinned – candy – no Twizzlers, but plenty of little multi-colored hard candy. Wakko grabbed a handful, stuffing them into his pockets for later. He'd share with Yakko and Dot, but he wouldn't tell Yakko how much he had – Yakko wouldn't let him totally fill up on sweets.

"OK, we got dessert – need to find the real food now." Dane turned around, and grabbed a stool from the island, carrying it to the tall counter. On the way, his tail hit a bag of potatoes, causing it to thud to the floor. Cringing at the noise, they both paused for a few seconds, until they determined that no one but them had heard the sound.

Shrugging, Dane hopped onto the stool, holding his hand down to Wakko, who grabbed it and also stood up.

On the counter were several loaves of bread, a bunch of bananas, a bag with about four apples in it, some chips...

"Wow," Wakko said quietly. "They eat better here than they did where we were."

_Girls were always lucky._

Dane gave a quiet laugh.

"Got ourselves the makings of a fine meal here – wanna grab a snack before we go pillaging the rest of this joint?" Dane asked, rubbing his hands together in glee.

Wakko looked at him, confused. "What's that mean?"

Dane sighed. "Wanna eat before we rob these bastards blind?"

"Ok. You should just say so."

"Thought I did," Dane muttered at him, crawling across the counter to the sink to wash his hands.

Wakko looked at him like he was crazy.

"Force of habit," Dane shrugged, drying his hands off on his shirt. Crawling back over, he grabbed the bread. "Look in the fridge – see what they got; I'll take care of this end."

Wakko hopped down as Dane began to go through the overhead cabinets.

Opening the refrigerator, he found ham, bologna, and some cheese. Not a feast, but definitely better than nothing.

Grabbing the food, he carried it over to the stool, handing the items up to Dane, who was quickly making the sandwiches on the counter. He put together a bologna and cheese one for Wakko and handed it down to him. He took it and gratefully bit into it; sinking to the floor as he did so. It was really late, and all the sneaking and running around was making him sleepy.

Making a few more, Dane grabbed the chips and sat on the floor with Wakko, both of them stuffing the sandwiches in their mouths as quickly as possible, not talking.

After they were done, Dane turned to him, smirking and saying quietly, "Best part about this dinner little man?"

Wakko looked up at him and shrugged.

"We don't have to clean up a damn thing – imagine some old matron's surprise in the morning!"

Wakko snickered at the thought, trying to keep quiet.

They quickly finished their pilfered meal. Energized, they set to work rummaging through the kitchen. Dane told Wakko to grab mostly things that would hold without refrigeration like crackers and peanut putter.

While Wakko was going though the cabinets, he looked over at Dane, who had pulled a large canvas bag out of his hammerspace and was currently standing on the stool, loading all the silverware from the drawer in it.

When Dane turned around and saw Wakko watching him, he grinned.

"Eh, could be worth something...saw it in a movie once."

Wakko shrugged and nodded, continuing to go through a cabinet on the other side of the stove, which held cleaning supplies.

Dane finished purloining all the silverware, being surprisingly quiet about it, he put the bag by the back door with a small clanking sound and came over to where Wakko was. He had found a good cabinet.

"Look Dane!" he whispered excitedly. "Cakes!"

Dane turned his nose up at them and started grumbling. "Be careful; could be stale, treacherous damn pieces of –"

He was cut off by a sound, and both boys froze, crawling under the island for a minute. Not hearing any further noise, they finally crawled back out.

When they had gone through every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen, they had six sleeves of saltines, three big jars of peanut butter, a can of sardines, some candy, two loaves of bread, the apples, the bananas, and the leftover lunch meat from earlier.

"Now what Dane?"

"We'll split this up between us later." Dane regarded the pile of food on the floor. "I don't care for bananas; you like them?"

"They're OK," he shrugged, wondering why he cared.

"I've got an idea."

Wakko looked at him. "With bananas?" Then he gasped. "Are you gonna make banana splits?"

Dane smirked. "Eh, no – but when we're splitting, it might be useful to have taken some," he snickered before saying, "preventative action. And if not, it'll be a useful prank for you to know; we did it to the cop cars all the time in Clampett. You like pranks?"

Wakko nodded. Pranks were fun, as long as he didn't get caught.

"Grab them 'nanners and come on – I'm grabbing those potatoes. We're gonna make sure that just in case we get spotted, they'll have a hard time chasing us. Even if not, still be a blast. I'm bored right now."

Wakko grabbed the bunch off the floor while Dane grabbed the sack of potatoes and led them out the door.

Dane led him around to the front of the home, telling him to be careful and not make one sound. Wakko nodded – he knew he was supposed to be quiet; everyone didn't have to keep telling him that.

When they got to the front driveway, he watched in wonder as Dane took the potatoes and showed him how to shove them up into the tailpipes, so that the cars would stall. Wakko asked Dane to explain it to him; he didn't understand.

Dane pointed to the vehicle next to him and told Wakko to shove the bananas in – he would do the potatoes since they were harder. Nodding and giggling, Wakko began to ram them in there as Dane began to explain about the car's cylinders and how they pull fuel and air in and push the exhaust out. But if the tailpipe is clogged, the exhaust can't go anywhere; if it stays in the cylinders, no fresh air gets in, and so the car will die.

Wakko listened, finding it interesting, and also getting a little satisfaction out of being able to do something to stop the TIS bullies from following them in their ugly cars if they were seen.

"After we're done with this little man, what say you and me go check out at least the bottom level of the house, huh?"

Wakko nodded; he had drifted off from the conversation for a minute, worried about his brother and sister.

"I wonder how Yakko's doing," he mumbled out loud, ramming another banana into the car's tailpipe and brushing his hands off on his jeans.

_All the bananas were in this one car; it won't be moving. I hope they never even know we were here, at least until we are gone._

"He's probably doing great little man," Dane grunted quietly, using his foot to help wedge a particularly firm potato in. "Your brother's sharp – hell, might have already found your sister and is just up there malleting toons for the hell of it."

_I really hope so_, he thought, crossing his fingers.

"Son of a bitch," Dane said, and continued cursing quietly under his breath.

"What? What's wrong - ?" Wakko asked, but didn't need for him to answer. Looking up the driveway, he saw the gate slowly opening, but even more alarming, he saw headlights.

As the car slowly approached the house, he could see that the cab was yellow and white.

They'd been found.

Wakko grasped Dane's shirt. "What are we gonna do? We gotta warn Yakko!"

"No time little man," Dane replied. Shooting him a grim smile, he continued on. "Come on, I think I have an idea on how to stall though."

Dane took off back toward the kitchen door, Wakko on his heels.

XXXXXXXXXX

After Yakko waved to his sulking brother and Dane, he entered the door and softly closed it behind him, and stood still for several seconds with his back pressed against the door, listening with his ears raised.

Hearing nothing but his own quiet breathing and the sound of his own heart thudding in his chest, he swallowed and nodded to himself.

_Now or never._

He walked across the shiny floor, noting that this home was a lot nicer than the one they had so recently vacated; all new appliances, a big airy industrial kitchen...he wondered how many children this home could hold.

Making his way out of the kitchen, he came to a short carpeted hallway that led into a parlor like setting; off to the left through an open doorway he could see a dining room with two long tables. To his left he saw three doors.

He guessed that the bedrooms were upstairs, but tried the doors anyway; one was a supply closet, the other two doors, much fancier were locked; one had a brass plaque marked Pearl Van Firman; Director, and the other name plate was blank.

_No where to go but up._

Clenching his jaw, he grasped the light wood railing, and slowly began climbing the staircase, making not a sound as he trod up each carpeted step one at a time. He counted as he went; the staircase had twenty-two steps. It felt like a thousand – each step could either be bringing him closer to reuniting with Dot, or it could be a crushing blow to find out she had been moved to a new home, or worse, adopted or fostered out.

_Damn you Dad, this is all your fault you worthless –_

He cut off his mental tirade before it went too far; what was done was done. He'd rarely thought about his absentee parent in nine months; no sense in bringing him back into his mind now. He had other things to occupy his mind with, and he needed to keep all his wits about him.

Quickly hoping that Wakko and Dane were keeping out of trouble, he reached the top of the stairs and stood on the landing. To his left was a shiny wood wall; to his right was a hallway lined with doors and a few well-placed nightlights.

Not having a clue which one to check in first, he decided to just start opening doors one at a time, hoping that he would get lucky with the first two or three, and that anyone behind those doors was asleep. It was still really early; they should be.

Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the first door on the right. Trembling hand on the knob, he exhaled and slowly turned the knob, thankful that the door was well oiled and didn't squeak, and looked in the room.

It was dark. At this section of the house, the moonlight was not coming in the window, and he struggled to peer into the darkness. He could see ten beds, five on each side of the room, with two dressers and a closet on the far wall.

Creeping into the room further, he jumped at a sound and turned, already reaching into his hammerspace intent on pulling his mallet. He saw what the noise was; a hanger brushing against the back of the door. Hand to his chest in relief, he turned back to survey the beds; they were all empty.

_Nervous and jumpy for an empty room and a hanger - feel like a sissy._

Breathing a sigh of relief, he walked back out of the room, closing the door just as silently as he opened it. The door across the hall was a bathroom.

Figuring that they would not stash his sister in there, he went down the hall to the next door, this time on the left side.

Again taking a deep breath, he reached for the knob with a shaky hand.

_Get it together Yakko_, he scolded himself.

Pausing a second to mentally calm his nerves, he silently cracked opened the door and peeked inside; more beds, this time occupied. Pushing the door open a little more, he could see that eight of the ten beds in the room held little girls. Looking closer, he recognized three girls from his prior residence.

_Well, least I know that the girls from the home definitely came here. It is an improvement from their prior home. I hope._

One of the familiar girls, a little brown fox that he believed was named Vanessa, rolled over in her bed. Hearing the bed frame creak he froze, trying to hold his breath. Watching her snuggle down further into the bedding, he determined that she was not waking up.

Relieved, he backed out of the room, pausing again when another girl sighed in her sleep. When she didn't move again, he did a small leap out of the room, quickly and quietly closing the door. Those girls were older than Dot; she would not be in that room quite yet.

_She'll never be in that room_, he mentally corrected himself. _She'll never see or even know about the inside of that room. If by some horrible chance she is not in this home, I'll search the entire Earth to find her._

Looking down the hall, he saw that there were still about eight doors.

_Gotta give these goons credit – they're hiding Dottie well._

He went through the next three doors quickly - they were all empty bedrooms. Apparently this home was going to be able to hold a whole boatload of girls - fifty girls by his count at least. He wondered if all the doors down the hall were empty bedrooms.

Looking up the hall, this section of the corridor disappeared into blackness - at least the last section had been slightly lit by a few nightlights placed in the hallway.

_Starting to run out of rooms...hope I'm not too late..._

Pushing that thought right out of his head with a quiet shaky sigh, he crossed the hall to try a door on the left. Half expecting it to be yet another empty dormitory, he almost cried out in shock when he opened the door and saw what was a normal bedroom set-up.

Directly across the room from him was a window overlooking the yard. Next to the window was a door; there was also a nice chest of drawers and a vanity with a matching stool over to the left.

About three feet in front of him was a large four poster bed. And in the bed was Ms. Garbo, sound asleep, facing him. Dressed in a white cotton nightgown and cap, he watched her even breathing.

Frozen in fear and excitement, he knew that Dot had to be close, if she was still here. The cranky old badger was never far from the little girls.

On the right track at last.

There were two doors in this room, he noticed one on the other side of the bed now. He doubted that they both went to closets; probably an adjoining bedroom setup like at the old home.

Swallowing and mentally preparing himself, he silently padded into the room and closed the door.

Crossing the room quickly, he went to the first door, which was shut tight. Opening it, he saw that it was a closet. All of Garbo's dresses were hanging up in it, things stacked neatly on the floor, the shelf overhead empty.

Garbo started mumbling in her sleep, and he actually hopped in the closet and closed the door part of the way, feeling like he was starring in some Marx Brother's movie. Hearing her mumble the name Malocchio, he felt his lip curl up and he made a silent gagging motion.

_Garbo and Malocchio - nightmare fodder for the next month._

Shaking his head, this time in disgust, he waited a few seconds until he determined that she was going to take no further action. He pushed open the closed door and walked to the second door, which was partially opened.

Even before he reached the door he felt himself growing excited – he could see a crib. A crib meant a baby, and all the five and under girls were kept in the same room...

Willing himself not to break out into a run, he continued to the door at a slow and silent pace – it would be a shame to get this close, and then get caught. He wouldn't get caught; he'd mallet Garbo like a Wack-A-Mole game if it meant getting him and his sibs out of there, but he'd rather not do it.

Finally, after long last, he reached the doorway and looked in, trying not to make a sound. This was the nursery; five cribs and five little girl sized beds. The cribs were side by side along the left side of the wall, the beds were lined along the right side of the wall. In the far left corner, he saw a door which he was hoping went to the hallway. He did not want to have to cross Garbo's room again.

Yakko felt a small hopeful smile begin to tug at his face. She just had to be here...

Ignoring the cribs, he slowly walked down the row of little beds; the first two beds held sleeping duck toons, a small dresser, then a sleeping bear toon, an empty bed, then...

There she was; he could barely make her out, she was buried so far under the yellow blanket. But he could see her; just the top portion of her white face fur gleaming in the dim moonlight; little black-furred hands clutching the pillow, but it was his Dottie.

_Oh thank you thank you thank you!_

Restraining himself from running and jumping on the bed with enough force to make his leg muscles hurt, he quickly began to walk to her bed. When he reached it, he stood over her, just letting his eyes drink their fill – after this nightmare of a week, of all the worry and heartache and agonizing, he'd finally found her. The family was complete; the Warner siblings were together once more, and now...

_Time to get the hell out of here._

He paused, listening; a child cried out softly in her sleep, Garbo still mumbling, rustling of bed clothes as another girl turned. He had to pick up Dot, hope she didn't make any noise, and leave with all the stealth of a ninja.

He slowly and carefully leaned over and picked her up underneath her arms. Not caring about losing a few seconds, he cradled her to his chest, resting his chin on her head.

Holding his sister – hell – either of his siblings, something he'd never take for granted again.

He had no idea how he was going to take care of them really, but he would find some way. They'd never be hungry, they'd always feel safe, he'd have some sort of roof over their head, but this would never happen again.

"I'm so sorry Dot; I promise I'll never let them get you again," he mumbled into her hair, so quietly he'd almost just been thinking it.

_Thought I lost you..._

After letting himself have several selfish seconds of holding her, he realized he needed to move. Their risk was too great to let him stand there all night holding her. He had her back – she was never going anywhere again; he could hold her every night for as long as he wanted...if they got out of there.

If by chance Garbo or any other caretaker woke up, he would have trouble grabbing his mallet and putting up a fight with his arms occupied with Dot. He had to go, now.

_Besides, who knew what the two nuts were doing downstairs by this point._

Moving Dot to a more secure position in his arms, he began to creep across the room toward the second door that he was desperately hoping lead to the hallway. Grasping the knob, he pulled and opened the door; it led to another closet.

Damn. No choice - have to go back through Garbo's room.

Praying that Dot stayed asleep until they were gone, he turned to creep in that direction, when he heard a noise.

A horrible, terrible noise he had never even thought of hearing.

A ringing phone.

Frozen in terror, mind screaming at him that he should have thought of this, he listened as Garbo picked up the phone - he hadn't even seen one in her room.

She spoke quickly to someone about the child being there, safe, and she'll check and make sure to be on the lookout, but nothing was going to happen…she hung up and Yakko, trembling, heard her bed moan as she got up.

Someone must have found Malocchio - he had hoped the man would lay there until dawn.

_Damn, damn…Move your ass Yakko…_

He was a few steps from the door to Garbo's room. Seeing the handle turn, he did the only thing he could think to do…

As the door opened, he ducked behind it, frantically pressing his back hard against the wall and standing on his toes as the door opened. Feeling the door back bump his nose, he bit his lip hard to keep from crying out.

Watching hours of Marx Brothers movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons paid off.

Thinking this was the most half-assed rescue in the history of half-assed rescues, he sucked in his non-existent gut, held his breath, and watched as Garbo came into the room.

A baby cried out in one of the cribs.

Garbo was muttering under her breath about the damn kids.

Then, even worse - Yakko felt Dot starting to stir in his arms.

Eyes widened in horror, he looked down at her, then up as Garbo began to slowly shuffle to the crib to check on the baby. Before long though, she would notice the empty bed that had been occupied by Dot until a few minutes ago.

He started to move out from behind the door, trying to move from behind it slowly enough he would not attract Garbo's attention. As soon as the door was blocking her view, he planned on running like hell.

Dot though, had other ideas. She yawned, looked down groggily at the floor, then back up. Catching her eye, he held a finger to his lip, hoping she would stay quiet.

_Things had been going too smoothly._

With the most delighted look on her face, she threw her arms around his neck, shouting, "Yakko! You came for me!"

He tried to move his other hand to cover her mouth, but he had moved too slow, so while her second outburst was muffled, the damage had been done.

He looked up, shocked, to meet Ms. Garbo's eyes across the room. Yakko didn't move as Dot leaned up and planted a big wet kiss on his cheek, then hugged him.

"So happy Yakko - love you - let's leave now!"

_Best suggestion I've heard all night…_

Garbo hadn't moved, but her lips were moving, soundlessly forming words.

Finally, she choked out, quietly, "You…"

_Shit._

"Eh, heh, you uh, wanna see my impression of Jessie Owens?"

While the woman tried to figure out who Jessie Owens was, he turned and ran out the open door, using his tail to slam it shut as the woman let out a shrill scream.

Taking off through the bedroom, he heard several babies start crying, and the sound of a door being thrown open behind him.

"Yakko! Let's go! Gotta go!" Dot shouted. "I don't like it here," she finished off with a whimper.

_Hell, neither do I._

"I'm moving Dot, I'm moving!" he panted, running out of the bedroom and slamming that door too, catching the tip of his tail in it and letting out a yelp.

So much for a smooth, quiet, calm, rescue mission. He should have just sent Ren and Stimpy for all the competence he had shown tonight.

Never slowing, he heard a door open behind him, then another one. As he approached the staircase, he saw the bedroom that housed some of the little girls from the previous home open, and he jumped to the far side of the hallway as several girls stuck their heads out, still groggy with sleep, trying to figure out what had woken them so rudely.

Behind him, he heard Garbo, shouting for him to stop, calling him a kidnapper, telling him he was being a selfish fool...

Running so fast that he almost shot past the stair case and ran into the wall, he used his tail as a fulcrum, grabbing the handrail to pull himself in the right direction and pounding down the staircase, taking the stairs two at a time. Dot was screaming in his ear about moving and being happy and she loved him -

"Slick! Watch the bottom! Bottom!" Dane's voice rang out from below him.

_What the hell?_

Only assuming he meant the bottom stair, when Yakko got four steps from the bottom, he moved Dot to his left arm and, holding her tightly, used his free hand to leap the rail, landing with a sickening thump on the floor.

He gingerly moved - his ankles and knees hurt like they had been slammed with a hammer, but they weren't broken. Or maybe he was so pumped on adrenaline at the moment he didn't realize.

Either way, time to leave.

Dane came running at him from underneath the staircase, followed by Wakko, who was carrying a large tub of butter.

Yakko eyed them in shock as Garbo, still yelling began to slowly come down the stairs.

"We gotta move guys - now!" When neither child moved, he shouted, "Go!"

Grabbing Wakko around his waist and picking him up, he yelled to Dane, "Come on!"

"Damn, wanted to watch the show," Dane said, but followed him out of the entrance way.

"Yakko -"

"Later Wakko later -"

"No! People are outside - another car came -"

_More people - another car - could this get any better?_

"There were two people in it - Dane and I took care -"

Yakko heard a loud scream, then a crash behind him, and finally figured out why Wakko had a tub of butter and Dane had been yelling about the bottom step.

"Hope she had a nice trip," Wakko said, giving Dot a half hug, trying to reach over to her as she stared saying his name and giggling.

Yakko, scared and panicked, heard the quip and started laughing, still running. They were in the kitchen…why was there a pile of food on the floor?

_I'm losing my mind…gotta get it together…_

"OK - Dane!"

He looked behind him - where did he go?

Wakko started shouting for his friend, and Yakko was tempted to just curl up in the corner in the fetal position.

_This was going so wrong…I just wanted my sister back…_

Giving him a kick like he used to when he was younger, Wakko wiggled free of his grasp and took off back toward the front entry way. Yakko made a grab for him and missed.

"Wakko - damn it - get back here now!"

_When I get my hands on him…_

"Easy kid. We'll get him, the other one too," a voice said from behind him.

Yakko, who had his back to the rear door and the way to freedom, slowly turned at the sound of the voice, and saw a TIS worker, a tall muscular human toon, wearing the yellow and white jumpsuit .

Caught. Just four feet away from the door.

Yakko reached back and pulled his mallet as Dot gripped his shirt tighter, freezing in his arms.

Yakko looked up at the man - no way he would be able to jump high enough to hit him on the head, not while holding Dot.

_She's scared…so am I…I should have acted sooner…_

"Move," Yakko said in a low voice, hoping it wasn't wavering as much as he thought it was. He just got her back; he wasn't handing her over again.

"Why don't you just give this up kid - Yakko right?" The toon asked in a very fake sounding voice he presumed was supposed to be soothing. "Just put your sister down…I need to talk to you - I don't want to hurt any of you..."

"No, you just want to separate us -"

"Sometimes it's for the best - you really want to deny your baby sister the chance for a decent life with a real family -"

"She's got a family!" Yakko yelled, fur bristling.

"Love Yakko!" Dot screamed, pressing her face into his chest and staring to cry.

He was getting distracted; she was crying, the man was still standing in the doorway, Wakko had disappeared…

"What, a drunken deadbeat dad and two hellion brothers? Get real…look, why don't you set her down in the chair and we'll talk huh? Man to man…"

Yakko watched the man talking, but was distracted by something else - Wakko was behind the man. Trying not to look directly at his brother, he watched as Wakko gave him a wave, then got down on his hands and knees behind the man.

Yakko widened his eyes…his brother was crazy.

Still, best plan he had at the moment; he was going to have problems swinging his mallet correctly while holding Dot, not to mention the whole jumping issue.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe you're right," Yakko agreed, still looking at the man. "Let me just put this away…"

Yakko caught his brother's eye. Wakko gave him a small smile and waved again.

_Can't believe we're even thinking of trying this..._

Yakko put the mallet away and tightened his grip on Dot, still crying softly into his chest.

Taking a deep breath, he listened to the man tell him he was making a wise decision…

Yakko took off running toward the man. Surprised, the man put his arms up to cover his face, but Yakko wasn't aiming that high.

Jumping up, Yakko planted his feet in the man's abdomen, using his weight to try to knock the man backwards. Yakko bounced off him and landed on his rear in the middle of the floor, curling his body around Dot to protect her.

The man stumbled backwards over Wakko, practically crushing him. Yakko heard Wakko let out a yelp and get knocked down the steps. However, the man did not fall. Not at first.

Then Yakko heard a quiet 'thunk', and then saw the man go down on the porch with a groan.

He saw Wakko's head stick back up from the steps; he looked slightly stunned but otherwise OK.

Biting back several words that would have gotten Wakko a whole mouthful of soap, Yakko stood up, reasonably sure he bruised at least his tailbone, and ran, half-limping, to the doorframe. He saw Dane standing on the railing, holding his own small mallet, about a foot long and made of a dark oak.

"I can be pretty fucking faboo too, huh?" he said, smirking at Yakko.

Yakko ran his hand through his hair as he looked at the kid.

_Freaking nut…_

As Dot clung to him watching the proceedings and wiping her eyes, Yakko bent down to check Wakko.

"You OK kiddo?"

Wakko who had crawled up the steps and had been sitting down next to the unconscious man, looked up at him and nodded, biting the corner of his lip. The usual sign of him being guilty of doing something.

_Must be because he was in the house in the first place, then ran away from me…_

Helping Wakko stand up, Yakko gave him a quick smack on his rear end before picking him up and hugging him to his chest, Dot reaching over to hug him too.

"Don't you ever do that again! You trying to get caught?"

_Or give me a coronary? _

Wakko, who had been returning the hug, was about to answer when the downed TIS man groaned.

Yakko looked down at the man. He backed away a few steps, just in case, letting Wakko slide to the ground behind him.

"Well, not so faboo after all stripes," Yakko said. "He's not out."

"Give me a brake slick - my tutoring got interrupted by my parents getting hauled off. Thought I did pretty good actually," he grumbled.

_Hell, who's tutoring wasn't interrupted in this group? _

"I'm just funning ya stripes," he said, pulling the kid's cap down over his eyes. "You did good. Both of you," he added, looking at Wakko. "Even though I asked you -"

The man had not only started groaning, but was attempting to get up. Perking his ears up, Yakko could hear voices inside - Garbo and someone else, a woman's voice, and both sounded pissed.

"How about we continue this conversation somewhere else?" Yakko asked. "Far away?"

Dane nodded. "Yeah...How's New York sound?"

Wakko, who had been watching the conversation, said, "New York is supposed to be cold, can we go to -"

"Wak - discuss our tour of the country later OK?"

Seeing figures coming toward them through the kitchen, along with the man still trying to get up, Yakko scooped up his brother like a sack of potatoes and began running toward the back fence.

Turning behind him, he yelled, "Dane! Come on!"

"But the silverware and food -"

"Who cares! Leave it and come on!"

"It's OK Dane - I got something better!" Wakko yelled, still being carried under Yakko's arm.

_What's that mean?_

Dane shrugged and took off after them, reaching the fence seconds after Yakko.

Yakko dropped Wakko and pushed him through the fence as Dane climbed through. He handed Dot through to them, then jumped to grab the tree branch, fear and adrenaline making his jump slightly higher than normal, and climbed over the fence like a convict escaping a pack of baying hounds.

Landing on the other side of the fence with a crashing thud on the sidewalk, he wondered if his knees and tail would survive the night.

He heard the shouts behind him - they were being pursued.

Snatching the beaming Dot off the sidewalk from where she had been standing, holding Wakko's hand, Yakko said, "Damn we need to move guys -"

"Chill slick - none of them can fit through that fence."

"No, but they got cars -"

"No they don't," Wakko said cheerfully, "we took care of them."

"Burned the shit out of my hand doing the last one though; just a FYI guys - don't touch the tailpipe when you try to shove potatoes in it," Dane said.

Yakko stared at them.

_Potatoes? What the hell did these two do?_

"I don't - ehhhhhhhh - fine - leave me in the dark. Come on, lets get hidden before they come out - cars or not, they start putting calls out to the police and the rest of the goon squad -"

He stopped talking and picked Wakko up, pulling him and Dot tight to him, as he saw a few cars pulling up to the front entrance of the home.

"Let's get going - can you run Dane?"

"To get away from them? You bet."

"Where are we going Yakko?" Wakko asked.

"Anywhere but here."

"Faboo, we're having an adventure."

"Yep, just like the Goonies, Wakko." Shifting both Dot and Wakko higher, he looked at Dane and said, "Let's go – start cutting through yards. We need to get a good distance away very quickly."

With that, Dane began to sprint down the street, disappearing over a fence into the darkness, and Yakko followed, still carrying his siblings.

XXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later, they were sitting in an alley between a bar and grill and an abandoned video store in Babbitt District. They had run as far as they could, and not seeing any cars pursing them, Yakko had decided to risk a bus ride, hoping to put even more distance between them and the home.

The bus they found had been going to Babbitt; not the worse of the four Toon Town ghettos – that honor was reserved for Clampett – but not entirely safe either.

For Babbitt, and for an alley behind a bar, it was a surprisingly clean alley; only one mystery puddle, and very little trash and broken glass.

"Yakko."

He looked down at Dot in his arms.

"Yakko, I'm scared..."

"You're safe now Dot, I got you."

_Safe...none of us even knows the meaning of the word._

"Hero -Yakko the hero," she sighed, cuddling back into his chest.

_Yeah, right._

"Yakko, I'm getting hungry..." Wakko said, trailing off. He and Dane were currently sitting on a piece of cardboard on the ground; Yakko was squatting against the wall next to Wakko, all of them being hidden from view of the street by the large black dumpster.

Dane looked at Yakko.

"If you had let me go back for the food –"

"You'd be sitting back in a room with a HRC on your arm," Yakko finished for him. "I've still got a few dollars left –"

"I've got money too!" Wakko exclaimed. "Hold on!"

Yakko watched as Wakko began to dig into the pocket of his jacket, and narrowed his eyes when his younger brother pulled out several bills, a few of larger denominations, and handed them to him.

Yakko eyed him suspiciously. "Where'd you get that money sibling?"

"Uh, found it?"

_Biting his lip again..._

Yakko rolled his eyes. His brother couldn't lie to save his life. Well, to him anyway.

"Right. Try again."

"I did find it," Wakko mumbled. "I just found it in a purse."

_Great – he's on his way to being a full blown kleptomaniac._

"Wakko, what did I say before?"

"Don't take anything without your permission," he answered. "But we're gonna need it –"

"Beside the point. You weren't even supposed to be in that house – what if you got caught huh?"

"It didn't all come from inside the house – some of it came from the man's wallet."

_For the love of..._

"OK, level with me Wakko – exactly who?"

_When did he even have time to –_

"The purse was my fault slick – I opened an office door at that shithole; purse was in there," Dane said, shrugging his shoulders. "He's right; not like we can go to the bank is it?"

Damn, he hated it when they were right.

He looked at Wakko. "And the wallet?"

"After Dane knocked the man out I took it," Wakko mumbled.

_Great, and that guy wasn't even fully unconscious._

Grabbing Wakko's chin, he turned his head toward him so he was looking into his eyes.

"Free pass on this one; mostly because I wasn't there to stop you. Don't do it again, understand? It's wrong and way too dangerous. We work as a team only."

Wakko vigorously nodded his head while Dane chuckled.

Yakko began to count the crumbled bills, laying them flat on his leg to straighten them out. In all, Wakko had managed to grab sixty-seven dollars. Pulling forty dollars out, he handed that to Dane, who looked surprised, but shook his head no.

"Come on stripes – not like you didn't help us out a few different times – you've earned –"

"Forget it slick; you've got two kids with you." he started snickering again when he heard Wakko give an indignant snort. "I can take care of myself. Besides, deal was you buy me a bus ticket back to Clampett; long as you still do that, I'm good."

"Yeah, but –"

"I don't need it slick...thanks though."

Wakko pointed across the alley. "There's a convenience store over there; I saw it when we got off that other bus. Can we get something to eat?"

Yakko quickly went through the options in his mind. The sun was starting to come up; it had been a very long night. He really didn't want to move during the day, not yet anyway. TIS would no doubt be looking for them, and while he sincerely doubted that they would think that Babbitt would be where they headed, he wanted to be overly cautious this time.

On the other hand, everyone was hungry; even he could use a bite he admitted. And sleep; Dot was starting to doze off in his arms, and Wakko, while hungry, was jerking himself back awake every few minutes. Dane had his head braced against the wall and kept closing his eyes. They all needed to rest.

"OK, OK; I have an idea. I'll go grab some food. We'll stay in that abandoned building today, try to get some sleep. I'll tear some of the boards off one of these windows when I get back," he said, gesturing toward a boarded up window behind the two boys. "Tonight, we'll take you back to Clampett," he said, looking at Dane, "then we'll...well, figure out something then. But I think staying low today would be a very good idea."

Dane and Wakko both agreed. Even Dot threw her thoughts in by giving him a smile, kissing his cheek and going to sleep.

Yakko placed Dot on the piece of cardboard Wakko and Dane were currently sitting on and stood up.

"I'll grab some stuff. Look you two, please, if only for the sake of my blood pressure, just stay here, OK? No exploring –stay and watch Wa-Dot, OK?"

Yakko exchanged a look with Dane, who gave him a quick nod.

"Nothing's changed slick."

While Wakko gave him a confused look, Yakko nodded.

"I'll be right back. Try to keep it down – I don't want to attract any attention."

With that, Yakko walked out of the alley and across the street, into the dawn, trying to keep his head up, and not look too obvious about how nervous he was. There was no traffic on the street – when they had come through earlier, there had been a few dealers and johns wandering around, but it looked like they had all slunk back under their rocks. He was the only one around.

Pushing open the door to the convenience store, he looked around, barely stopping himself from wrinkling his nose. What a dump – the store was dark and dingy; the ostrich toon cashier behind the register barely looked conscious and the entire store smelled of bacon grease, motor oil, and dirt.

On the other hand, beggars can't be choosers.

_It also wasn't any bigger than their old apartment_, he thought with a small pang of homesickness. _What the hell were they going to do?_

Yakko pushed the doubts from his mind; they were family. They'd survive somehow.

Yakko began to walk the small crowded aisles – there was only two of them, so he was done within a few minutes. He had grabbed a variety of chips, crackers, some sodas, and a few pre-made sandwiches, hoping that they were prepared in a half-way sanitary environment.

The cashier managed to pull himself out of his drug induced coma long enough to ring him up, haphazardly tossing the sodas on top of the sandwiches and squishing them. Yakko didn't even bother to complain as he passed the man the money. The man gave him is change, threw in a nasty look for free, then went back to slouching on his stool behind the counter and glass without another look.

Grabbing the bag, Yakko quickly left the store, crossing the street still devoid of traffic and heading back to the alley.

Coming up behind the dumpster, he saw Dane showing Wakko his mallet, explaining to him how his parents bought it for him with money from a safe robbery at some rich duck's house over a year ago, and how they had started to teach him how to use it before they got hauled away. Wakko listened with tired but interested eyes.

They both looked up as he appeared in front of them, and Dane put his mallet away. Yakko began to hand out the food. Dot was sleeping and didn't seem inclined to wake anytime soon.

Taking a bologna sandwich, made so long ago the bread was getting soggy, Yakko told them to stay where they were and headed toward the window. He was going to investigate to see if they could get in the building; it wasn't a palace, but it would be some form of shelter, and keep them out of view of the general public.

The window was broken behind the boards, and he felt slightly less guilty about breaking in; he didn't want to add vandalism to his vast list of crimes.

Pulling at the board resulted in nothing more than several splinters in his gloves.

Cramming the rest of the mushy sandwich in his mouth, he pulled his mallet and pounded at the boards, splintering them in a few seconds. Behind him, he heard Dane and Wakko clapping.

"Way to go Gallagher - hold on, let me see if I can Fritz a watermelon -" Dane chortled.

"You do, and I'll use my mallet on your head," Yakko answered with a chuckle.

_Ugh, I hate Gallagher._

Yakko lifted first Wakko, then Dane into the window. Handing the still sleeping Dot up to them, he pulled himself up onto the window sill into the window.

Looking around, the video store had been closed fairly recently; there was no build-up of dust on the empty shelves, the floor wasn't too filthy, though most of the windows were broken out and boarded over.

"Guys, stay here for a second. If you hear me yell, you grab Dot and get out, OK?"

They nodded, and Yakko went to check the rest of the store, pulling his mallet again and hoping he didn't run into any squatters or users who had claimed the building first.

There was a bathroom, a small break room, and an office, all empty. For now anyway, they would be safe here.

Walking back to the others, he told them they would be OK for the time being, and to stretch out and get some sleep. They agreed, waiting until he laid down underneath the un-boarded window. If someone came in, he wanted to be the first to know.

Grabbing Dot, he stretched out, resting her in the crook of his left arm. Wakko curled up on his right side, and Dane laid down on the other side of him.

Yakko closed his eyes, hoping he would wake up if anyone decided to come in, and listened to deep even breathing of the others, slowly drifting off to an exhausted sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko stepped off the bus, followed by Wakko, then Dane. Shifting Dot to his right arm, he checked his watch, 11:17 P.M.

He felt surprisingly good. The sleep in the video store had helped all of them; they all looked fairly spry considering the weekend they'd had. After waking up, he had gotten them all more food at the crap-tastic convenience store, and finally found a bus heading to Clampett.

Yakko looked around. He had heard Clampett was a dump, and what he had heard wasn't a lie. Plympton looked like an upper-middle class neighborhood compared to where they were at.

There was a hippo toon shooting up about five feet in front of them, leaning on a sign-post; he quickly grabbed the back of Wakko's collar. No way in hell was he letting him wander out of arm's reach in this place. Dot was practically crawling into his shirt she was so scared, staring around with wide eyes.

Across the street, he could see a mole toon sleeping on a sewer grate - or he hoped he was sleeping. He cringed when he heard a gun shot and several screams in the distance.

Wakko shrunk into his right leg, throwing his arms around his waist.

Putting his hand on Wakko's head trying to comfort him, he turned to Dane, who was watching them.

"Look, stripes, eh, Dane - you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, sure…Yakko. This is my home." Dane answered, not looking at him.

_Wouldn't brag about that kid._

"Look…" Yakko trailed off, feeling a catch in his throat. Clearing it, he continued. "You're more than welcome to stay with us, you know Dot, Wakko and me…we haven't got much - hell - you know what we got…"

"Yeah, yeah I know," he said, looking up briefly at the three of them. "You've got quite a bit."

"Yeah, yeah I know," Yakko said.

"This is my home - my family's here -"

"Your family's in jail Dane, I know that -"

"Eh, I've got the other kids - most of them are in the same position. It's fine," he insisted when Yakko went to talk. "I'll run into some of the other kids here shortly; probably a few blocks in…"

_I feel like such a lowlife - this is no place for a kid -_

"You sure you'll be OK? TIS is going to be looking for you too -"

"I'll be fine," he smirked, "I'm back on my home turf, and trust me, I learned my lesson; never drop your guard, especially around the Tastey Cakes."

Yakko returned the smirk. "Or if you get distracted by them, at least make sure they're fresh, huh?"

"I know exactly where the expiration date is - I'll be checking from now on."

The little raccoon sighed, walking three steps to stand in front of Yakko. Sticking his hand out, he said, "I guess this is good-bye, at least for now."

Yakko regarded him for a moment, then stuck his own hand out. "Yeah, I guess so, if you're sure. Watch out for those yellow and white cabs -"

"That goes double for you three – they're gonna be hot on your asses too." Dane looked at them for a moment. Then rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward fashion he said quietly, "Look, I meant to say it before, no matter how cheesy it sounded…I'm glad we guys met, even if it was only for a little while."

"Me too," Wakko muttered, still holding on to Yakko.

Dane shot him a smile before continuing. "I sorta know what it feels like to have brothers or a sister now. Gotta say, it was pretty nice."

Yakko felt his face twitch momentarily. He really didn't want to leave the kid here. While he was slightly distrustful of him at first, he had actually grown to like the little delinquent.

"Yeah, siblings are great," he said, hugging Dot and Wakko closer to him momentarily. "I don't mind the thought of having another one…"

He wasn't going to beg, but he did want him to understand that he was welcome, no matter how sappy it sounded. It wouldn't erase any guilt about leaving a kid in this situation, but as he had said before, he could take care of himself, and make his own decisions. He just wanted him to know there was another option.

Dane gave a forced laugh. "Damn slick, you trying to pull some Disney shit on me?"

Yakko laughed back. "No way stripes; if I was, I'd be singing and trying to kiss you while a couple of bluebirds neck on a branch behind us."

"Try some shit like that and you'll be seeing how good I am with my mallet," Dane snorted. "I'll see ya around Yakko."

He turned to Wakko. "You too my man."

"I don't get a handshake too?" Wakko asked.

Dane sent him a smirk. "Course you do!"

Yakko watched with a small smile as Dane and Wakko shook hands.

"And don't annoy Yakko too much," Dane added, "because if I find out you do -"

"You'll come over to help me?" Wakko finished.

Yakko started laughing and rolled his eyes, wondering what he had to look forward to.

"Great minds think alike."

Dane looked at Dot, who was peering down at him from Yakko's arm. "And good-bye to you Dottie -"

"Dot. Just Dot. Not Dottie to you." she said in an insistent tone.

_Wonder when that happened - she always liked Dottie -_

"Ok then, just Dot, good-bye to you too. I'm sorry I spent more time rescuing you than getting to know you."

He held his hand up to touch her, and she almost fell out of Yakko's arms trying to reach over to hug him. Yakko quickly lowered her before she ate the pavement.

Seeing Dane distracted by Dot, Yakko made a move he had been trying to make all day.

He quickly slipped thirty dollars of Wakko's ill-gotten money into the boy's pocket. Sure, he could probably take care of himself, but it made Yakko feel slightly better, knowing the kid could eat for a few days before he had to start 'working'.

"Bye stripes," Dot said, giving him a small hug before returning to clutching Yakko's shirt.

Dane looked at them again, then spoke.

"OK guys - the other kids should be running around somewhere. I'm gonna run - thanks for everything…I mean that…see ya around slick."

"You too Dane. Thank you," Yakko said back, briefly hugging Dot tighter to him.

_If he and Wakko hadn't become friends…_

Yakko looked down at Wakko, who had buried his face in his pant leg. Yakko thought he was probably crying, and gave him a minute to compose himself as Dane trotted down the street.

With one final wave, he rounded the corner of an all-night deli, and was gone.

Rubbing Wakko's back as Dot kept asking what was wrong with Wakko, he heard Wakko speak quietly, wiping his face with his hands.

"I'll miss him."

"Me to Wak, but this is his home, he wants to be here."

"I know."

"Hopefully he'll take my advice and stay low."

"What do we do now?" Wakko asked him.

Yakko looked down at him, slowly steering him around.

"We walk."

"Where to?"

"Anywhere but here."

"OK. How much money we have left?" Wakko asked.

"Enough. Don't you even think about trying to grab anything," Yakko answered firmly. "And we'll be having a talk about what you did grab later."

"Shit," Wakko mumbled.

"Along with an additional talk about your language."

"Can't help it Yakko - there's no censoring on the street," Wakko said happily.

_More interesting advice from Dane no doubt._

"You're not running around like a little thug -"

"But -"

"Drop it for now Wakko. Just know we'll be having a long talk when we're alone."

Yakko smirked when he heard Wakko sigh and mumble under his breath. He probably thought he was going to be allowed to run wild.

_Sorry Wakko._

Yakko led them to a bus-stop and they waited, trying not to make eye contact with any of the …interesting toons around them. Yakko wanted to hop the next bus out of Clampett. He didn't even really care where it went, just out of there.

"Where we going?" Dot asked Yakko. "Home?"

_Home…hopefully someday they'd have a home…someplace safe to return to…_

"Not home Dot…I don't know. I'll find somewhere, OK?"

"So we just, I don't know, wander?" Wakko asked.

"I guess Wakko," he sighed.

"As long as it's not here. I don't like this place," Wakko said.

Yakko put his arm around him, repressing a shiver as the wind picked up.

"I don't either kiddo. If we're lucky, we'll never see Clampett again."

_Or Plympton, or the inside of a TIS home, or Dad, or -_

Wakko took his hand as Dot curled her arms around his neck. He felt Dot's tail curling and un-curling around his wrist.

"I think we're pretty lucky," Wakko said.

"I agree," Yakko said.

"I'm lucky," Dot mumbled into his neck.

"We're all pretty lucky," Yakko said.

They were.

"Thank you for being my brothers," Dot mumbled into his neck.

Wakko smiled up at her as Yakko gave her a small squeeze.

"No problem sis. We'd never leave you. I've told you both before, family sticks together."

End Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

Note: Sorry I was slow to post this. I currently have a broken wrist, so the next few updates will probably take a little longer than normal.

_Chapter 11 - Boxcar Kids_

Vagabond. Hobo. Vagrant. Tramp. Bum. Gutterpup.

So many names, all mostly meaning the same thing; homeless. No place to call your own.

Whenever Yakko had heard the terms before, it always brought images to mind of 'Freddy the Freeloader' or Emmett Kelly's 'Weary Willy' and of any number of movies showing sad looking men sleeping on park benches and lined up at soup kitchens.

He had never even dreamed they would become one of the 'traveling poor'.

That's exactly what they were though.

Currently huddling on the back loading dock of a supply warehouse in Babbitt District, Yakko held Wakko and Dot close as the rain came down heavier. The roof over the back part of the dock was keeping the rain off their heads, but it was still blowing in from the sides. Yakko turned his back to the outside, trying to use his body to shield Wakko and Dot from the elements as much as possible. Dot wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I don't like this Yakko."

Yakko looked down at her. "I know Dottie-"

"Dot!"

"Sorry, Dot. I'll find us something better soon."

He had to keep correcting himself; all he had been able to get out of her was that the 'strangers' had called her Dottie, and she didn't like it. He presumed it was either Garbo or one of the foster families.

"I'm cold Yakko-"

He held her tighter to him. "I'll go out in a few minutes and find something better, I promise OK?"

_Really shouldn't make promises I don't know if I can keep…_

"Cupcake doesn't like it either," she added.

_Cupcake's going to mildew if she stays out much longer in this_, he thought.

When he had reunited Dot with her bear when they were on the bus out of Clampett, she had promptly kissed the bear, kissed his cheek, then happily proclaimed that the bear was now to be known as 'Cupcake'. She had then half squeezed the stuffing out of the bear and gone to sleep on his lap.

"Want me to go look for something Yakko?"

He looked down at Wakko. "No, you stay right here. Once the rain lets up, I'll find something."

It had only been three days since they left the home. They had run out of money, so it would be time to pick a pocket before they got too hungry, but with the rain, not many people were out and about in this weather.

He hadn't slept well after they left the video store - they had tried to go back, but a few squatters had taken over the building after they left, and Yakko was not inclined to start fighting with every other homeless person they ran into. He had a mallet - who knew what sort of weapon they had?

The past few days, Yakko had been wondering if when he set out to escape with his siblings, had made one of the most selfish mistakes of his life. He had to admit, he honestly didn't even realize how difficult this was going to be.

Noticing the rain letting up slightly, he hoped that this was going to be a fast moving storm. He wanted to find some sort of shelter for the night where they wouldn't be bothered. He still had to get them all fed.

It really was hard, being the oldest sometimes.

XXXXXXXXXX

October 1991

"Wakko - stay quiet and keep Dot quiet. I'm gonna lead them off. Don't move until I come for you, understand?"

Wakko, sitting inside the large drain pipe on the abandoned side road, nodded. Yakko planted a kiss on Dot's forehead, then handed her down to Wakko's outstretched arms.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, OK Dot?"

"Please don't leave Yakko," she whimpered, clutching Cupcake and looking at him.

"Have to - if not, they'll find us. Stay with Wakko and Cupcake, OK? I'll be back soon."

_I have got to get them out of here -_

"Promise?" She asked him, big eyes starting to fill with unshed tears.

"Promise."

_Hope I don't break that promise…_

With a tight smile at his siblings, Yakko scampered out of the drain pipe and into the empty road, almost tripping on a piece of asphalt that was jutting up. This side street hadn't seen traffic in twenty years probably.

He noticed that there had been train tracks at one time coming up near this road; he could see portions of the old line coming through the overgrown field.

Further back in the distance, he could see a few abandoned train cars. If they ever had time, he wanted to go look at them. He liked trains, especially the old ones. He enjoyed reading about how the trains used to be the way for toons and humans to make their way across the county, and there were a lot of movies he wanted to see that featured -

"Over there - there's the leader!"

Yakko stopped daydreaming about trains and turned in the direction of the voice - the goon squad had spotted him. He saw their car parked on the main road - right in the middle of the lane. He hoped some other driver plowed into them. Not that he wanted anyone to get hurt, but while they were filling out paperwork, maybe he and the sibs could sneak away.

Luck wasn't with him on that - the traffic seemed to be avoiding the car, moving to the other lane to go around them.

He looked again - the two TIS men were still coming toward him, talking to each other and pointing at him like he was a zoo exhibit.

_Good. Now to lead them away from the sibs…_

"I see him Henry! Oy - kid - Warner! Stop right there!"

Yakko almost laughed. How many times does a wanted person actually stop when someone in authority tells them to stop?

"Oh come on - do you think I'm really gonna do that?" He called back. "You'll have to catch me - and so far, you've been doing a poor job of that! Watch my impression of the Road Runner - Meep Meep you morons!"

He watched as the two male toons - a crocodile and a gecko - both wearing their fashionable yellow and white jumpsuits, began to give chase, shouting angry curses and orders at him.

He took off across the field - the crocodile was quicker than he had anticipated. The last TIS employee who had chased them - three days ago when they had been in Babbitt District - had been a fat rhino. If he'd had a broken ankle he still could have outrun the rhino. As it was, he, Dot and Wakko had pulled away from him with not much more than a leisurely stroll.

This one though - wow.

Yakko concentrated and felt his toonspeed kick in, and he moved across the empty field like he had a rocket strapped to his back. He turned his head to look behind him - they were still there, though lagging behind. But if they were behind him, they weren't back at the main road, looking for Wakko and Dot.

After about forty-five seconds, Yakko's toonspeed ran out. He wished he were older - with age came more strength and stamina, and the ability to not only Fritz things longer and stronger, but also the stamina to be able to Chuck longer.

Being able to toonspeed for a greater distance would come in very handy right now.

Panting, Yakko began to slow to his normal run. He looked behind him again - the two knobs would be catching up to him soon. He needed to find a place to hide, then get turned around, grab the siblings, and get going.

Again. He wished he could find a more permanent abode for them. He hated wandering around the district, constantly looking for an empty building for them to sleep in, not knowing who or what was already in the building. He had already had to mallet two different homeless people when they had accidentally stumbled upon them. He was now actually able to sleep with one eye open. He really needed to start teaching Dot to read, work on improving Wakko's education in both basics and toon theory, not to mention his own.

Yakko ducked down in the tall yellowed grass, smelling beer, urine, cigarettes, old food; must be some sort of party spot for the local kids.

He crawled on his stomach like a snake toward a chain link fence as the two employees came near him. If he were a snake, he could have bit them they were so close.

He closed his eyes and crossed his fingers; _if they don't look down…_

He peeked one eye open, and almost stood up to tell them how stupid they were. They had walked right by him.

Speed does not mean intelligence.

They disappeared from his sight, and he counted to twenty to make sure.

Noticing that the fence was loose at the bottom, he worked at it with his fingers, finally able to pull the bottom up and out enough that he could crawl under it. He could feel the ground change under him. He was apparently on some sort of asphalt, albeit very overgrown broken asphalt.

He looked up; in the distance, far across the cracked pavement, he could see a large building, darkened and crumbling. He must be on some sort of old parking lot. On top of the building, he could see a tall smoke stack reaching for the sky.

Still not hearing his pursuers, he stood to a half crouch and began to move as fast as he could across the lot, stubbing his toes several times on the large pieces of asphalt jutting out and hidden by the weeds.

After several minutes, he was at the building. He looked at it, keeping his ears raised for any sounds whether they be from inside the building or coming from the outside. Most of the building's dull grey exterior was covered in gang graffiti, and almost all of it violent or foul. Part of the west rear wall was falling, almost every window was broken; the areas near the wall were littered with drug paraphernalia, broken beer bottles, cigarette butts…

Frowning, he began to walk around the building, avoiding the two sets of service ladders, in such a state of decay that they were hanging off the building. He saw a set of abandoned rail lines, as rusted and dull and overgrown as the rest of the area. They ran up to the building; whatever this place used to be, must have shipped outside of ToonTown at one time. Most everything that ran in and out of ToonTown now went by truck.

Following the rail line to the building, he spotted what had been a loading dock. He climbed the crumbling steps to the platform, where there was three cargo doors, all long since havening been kicked in.

Looking around the outside, he spotted something dull secured to the wall near the first bay door, covered in years of dirt and grime.

He wiped his hand over it - it was a plaque.

He finally got it cleaned off enough that he could read it.

_The Myron-Grim Anvil Factory  
Natwick District  
Founded 1927_

Yakko gave a low whistle - he had heard about this place. At one time, back when Natwick had been a decent neighborhood, the anvil factory had been one of the largest employers in the area, providing jobs for most of the toons in Natwick. It had closed in the late seventies due to financial troubles. It was around that time that Natwick lost several other major employers, all moving to other districts' industrial areas, and the district became the forth of the ToonTown ghettos.

Yakko, still listening, looked inside the building; perhaps they could spend some time here - it would be a roof over their heads anyway.

Looking around inside, that was not going to be an option. Most of the floor had caved in, leaving a large crater in the floor. The second floor above was also crumbling or had fallen onto the first floor. There was a foul smell; he briefly put his hand over his nose before he gagged.

There was debris on the floor; bottles, ratty clothing, needles, food wrappers…Most of it was covered in a layer of dust, but still, this place was condemned for good reason. No way were they going to stay there. Besides, dirty or not, that clothing may signify that someone was already staying there. They had learned from experience that you did not trespass on someone else's turf.

Yakko shrugged and backed out; he had gone exploring long enough. Time to get back to the sibs.

Leaving the building's loading dock, he followed the old rail line to the main road, trying to keep low. He could see traffic moving through the high grass, but was unable to make out the TIS car. Until he knew they were gone, he had to stay on his guard.

This old line was the one he had spotted before when he had been hiding Wakko and Dot; he was coming up on the cars.

There were five train cars. The three closest to the factory had been smashed into each other in some prior accident. The fourth one had a tree that had fallen on it. The fifth one had been torched.

Slightly disappointed, Yakko decided to check them out anyway. They might be able to stay in one for a few days. They had been on the move for the last week after leaving Clampett; it would be nice to have some place to rest and recuperate for a few days.

He passed the frame, and came to the three wrecked cars. All three were full of trash and debris, one even still had a few anvils in it, sitting in rotting wooden crates. As he opened the doors to the three cars, his nose picked up the smell of decades of mold and mildew, and he looked up; all three cars had crumbling roofs open to the sky. These were not in any condition for them to stay in.

The torched one was nothing more than a blackened frame, the twisted cast iron wheels still sitting on the line. He walked by it with hardly a glance.

Surprisingly, the one with the tree through it was in the best shape. The tree had fallen about three-quarters of the way down from the front of the car.

Yakko pulled open the door a bit, then jumped in to look around. Tree through it or not, the car still seemed sturdy. He sniffed as he looked around; he didn't detect any mold or mildew - this car didn't even seem to have leaked during the twenty odd years of rainstorms.

He was a little excited - this entire area seemed to have been forgotten. They could stay here for awhile, rest, then begin to move again when they were ready.

He had to get the sibs - they were probably terrified by now.

He quickly left the train car and hopped down to the ground. The rail line ended at this car - he guessed they must have pulled up part of the line when the factory closed.

Looking around, he saw about ten car and truck bodies lined up against the fence line for the property, and he quickly walked over to look. There was a lot of garbage around there, and he gingerly picked his way around, trying to avoid stepping on anything. Most of the cars were in fairly poor shape, but still, Wakko would probably like to look at them. His kid brother had developed an interest in vehicles somewhere along the line, and all these cars were at least twenty years old. They were junk vehicles, but still, it might keep him entertained for awhile.

He looked back around and saw part of a road - the original driveway that lead to the parking lot. He quickly made his way to the road and followed it up to a gate, chained closed with a rusted padlock. Leaning on it slightly, the chain holding the gate closed lost it's slack, and he was able to walk through, listening to it creak and groan.

Studying the main street, he saw traffic still moving, but the TIS car was gone. They must have given up looking for him.

He ran to the drainage ditch, crossing his fingers that Wakko and Dot were still there and safe.

As he got closer, he could hear Dot sobbing softly, and Wakko singing quietly to her, their voices echoing in the hole.

Yakko hopped down in the ditch.

"Hey you two - good news - I mig-"

He was unable to finish the announcement due to Dot throwing herself into his arms.

"Yakko! Wakko held his hand over my mouth! He wouldn't let me leave! Punish him!"

Wakko looked at him and gave a little shrug, saying in a worried voice, "I didn't know what else to do - she kept wanting to scream and trying to crawl out. And those men were coming back -"

"You did good Wak, don't worry," Yakko said, pulling him in for a hug. He then turned back to his wailing sister. "And I told you you needed to be quiet Dot - what if those men had heard you? They'd try to take you again -"

"No! No Yakko - I don't want to leave again!" she started crying harder.

He didn't want to make her upset; on the other hand, she had to learn that when he said stay quiet, he meant quiet.

"Dot, look at me. Please, stop crying Dot, OK? Just next time, if I say stay quiet or to stay somewhere and don't move, just please listen OK?" He leaned down to look at her, their noses touching. "We just got you back - you think I want to lose you again?"

His absolute biggest fear - his absolute worst nightmare - one of his siblings going missing, getting hurt, being snatched again by TIS–…

She shook her head, still crying softly. "I don't want to ever leave you - I promise I won't leave…"

With that, she gripped his neck, quietly sniffing.

Yakko sighed and stood up, holding her with his right arm. He held his left hand out to Wakko, who gratefully took it.

They crawled out of the ditch, and Yakko led him back to the train car. As they passed the old factory, he warned him about staying out of the building - that place was a death trap.

Wakko nodded his head as he gazed first at the building, then at the train car. Yakko lifted him inside, and then put Dot in. He climbed up himself, and made his way to the right side of the car, pulling branches out of the way so Wakko and Dot could crawl in.

His siblings looked around the empty car, then at him.

Yakko shrugged; it wasn't exactly a castle. He felt bad even presenting it to them - they both deserved so much better.

"Sorry guys," he said sadly. "It's the best I could do, I -"

He stopped talking as both of them came over to hug him, Wakko on his right, Dot on his left. They both wrapped their arms around his waist, Dot leaning her head on his thigh.

"It's not much guys, but for now, its home."

XXXXXXXXXX

November 6, 1991

"Come on Wakko - we have to hurry."

Yakko ran down the road, leaping over cracked asphalt and potholes, trying to balance a small cake in one hand and a bag of groceries and take out burgers in the other. It was Dot's fourth birthday, and whether they were living in a mansion or an abandoned rail car, he was damned if he was letting his sister's special day go uncelebrated.

He got to the chain link fence; rusted and barely still standing. The gates were secured with a large chain and padlock, also rusted - no key would ever turn these tumblers again. At one time, long ago, a guard would have come out of the little shack to the left to check ID's, then would have opened this gate to allow the employees to drive their cars in for their shift at the factory.

Off to the right, he could still make out the remnants of the huge paved parking lot; now as over grown and broken as the road that led here.

Yakko leaned on the left side of the gate, and felt it give. When he did that, the chain would lose its slack, allowing the two sides of the gate to separate so that they could slip through.

Yakko turned around, expecting to see his brother beside him, and grew nervous when he was neither beside him nor behind him on the road. Wakko was still mad at him - he'd gotten another few swats on his rear end earlier. Once again he was a little too eager and grabbed a wallet from a human toon without Yakko's say so.

Yakko was getting worried; he was raising a little klepto. He had warned him that the next time he grabbed something like that he wasn't gonna sit for a week. Wakko had put up his usual fuss, but Yakko had finally gotten his agreement. He knew the rules, if he chose to break them, he was going to be punished, no more free passes.

_Didn't explain where he was now though. _

Hoping he had not left him behind when they left the main road, Yakko started to move off the fence to go back and look for him. Suddenly, much to his relief, Wakko appeared on the road; he was apparently just dawdling.

"Come on Wakko - we've got to get back - we've been gone too long already."

_Hate leaving her alone, but no choice…_

"OK, OK," Wakko mumbled starting to slip through the fence. "She's not gonna go anywhere, fuc-"

Yakko cut him off as he slipped though the gate. "Finish that statement mister, and you'll be spending the rest of the day in the corner."

"Alright already. Sorry. Jeeze."

Yakko admitted he did sorta miss Dane; he liked the little goober. Yakko knew he'd never forget him - which is why he wished the kid hadn't left behind a legacy of foul-mouthed words on Wakko. Over a month and still Wakko let slip with something now and then.

Both through the fence, which said 'Condemned - Dangerous - Keep Out' the brothers continued down the road toward the factory.

Still hustling Wakko along, they passed the building silently, and Yakko suppressed a shudder - the building gave him the creeps. He had not gone near it since his initial check of it several weeks ago, but every now and then he heard voices - either the damn thing was haunted, or it was still being used now and then by the locals as a flophouse.

Wakko had wanted to see what was inside it, apparently not believing him when he said trash and not much else. He'd escort him up there sooner or later to look in the doorway. Wakko was easily entertained.

"How come we never bring Dot with us when we go out Yakko?"

"Because I'm not exposing my four year old sister to what our current line of work is. Bad enough you're involved in it," Yakko said. "Remember we had this talk before? We don't ever discuss what we do when we're near her."

"Right! It's a secret between us!" Wakko exclaimed.

"Right kiddo - make sure it stays that way - this is one of those things I don't want to tell her; not until she's older."

_If ever. _

No way was he ever going to get his innocent little sister sibling involved in pick pocketing. If he could avoid it, she'd never know how they got their food and any other goods. One of the Warner siblings was going to have a clean conscience. Let her think elves delivered the stuff while she slept.

"I won't tell her Yakko. I promise!"

"I believe you Wakko - no need to cross your heart and hope to die."

"I don't want to do that."

Wakko was such a literal child.

"Good to hear."

They had arrived at the train car. Yakko, who had been scanning the area when they were walking toward it, opened the door and slid the cake and groceries in. He lifted Wakko up, then hopped up himself.

Once in, he began to move a few strategically placed boards and branches, finally exposing the opening to their own little hole.

He had come up with this when he had finally realized that they couldn't bring Dot with them to work, but he didn't want to leave her in the car where she could get out, or even worse, someone could see her and get in. The way he had the opening hidden, if looked like that part of the car was nothing more but tree and collapsing roof.

It was extremely dangerous, and he hated to do it. Whenever he and Wakko went out by themselves, he always hustled Wakko along, so she was left alone as little as possible.

The first few times he had tried it, she had cried, not wanting to be apart from him. He had waited outside the train car, wanting to cry himself listening to her sobs, torn between running away to not hear them like a coward, or being just as cowardly by running back in there to pick her up and kiss her and let her know he would never leave her.

But he couldn't - he had to leave her, even if it was only for a limited amount of time. And then he couldn't leave because her sobbing was so loud, and heart-wrenching, that it could be heard outside the car. He had to make sure she knew to stay silent before he left her.

Eventually she grew used to being left alone for a few hours, and either spent the time sleeping, playing with her bear, or practicing her letters with the crayons and paper he had bought for her.

He and Wakko frequently brought her back some small present when they went out, to alleviate her boredom and keep her quiet and entertained. She was the one homeless kid around with an amazing coloring book collection.

Holding the boards and branches back, he directed Wakko to crawl in, then Yakko handed in the cake and bag to him before crawling in himself, propping over the boards and branches.

Wakko was sitting next to Dot, who had been busy practicing her letters. When Yakko came through, she beamed at him.

"Happy Birthday Dot," he said, pulling out a white plastic bag with her gifts. Two cheap gifts, but none the less, gifts for her. He sent out a silent plea that she would like them; it was the best he could do.

Dot grinned. "Thank you!" She crawled over to sit on his lap. "Whatcha got for me?"

Yakko smiled back, still holding the bag. "Open it and see."

She smiled eagerly and took the bag, beginning to open it as he watched. He hoped she liked it; he and Wakko had gone to several little stores after 'work' to find these two things.

She apparently did like it – she gave a scream of delight, then threw her arms around his neck.

A unicorn coloring book, and a children's story book about a unicorn and her friends.

Dot had really developed a thing for unicorns.

"Thank you Yakko! Thank you!" She settled back in his lap. "Can you read it now?"

"Let's eat now – we can all read it together afterwards, OK?"

"I don't want to hear it," Wakko muttered.

"Don't care," Dot countered. "It's my birthday, we read my story." With that demand, she stuck her tongue out at him.

"She's right Wak," Yakko pointed out before Wakko could say anything back and start an argument. "Look, me and Dot will read the story outside – that way you can go run around and go wild or whatever it is you want to do out in the field, OK?"

Wakko nodded, and Yakko gave a sigh of relief. Another argument avoided. Dot could hear her story, and Wakko could go burn up all his excess energy. And this story book was simple enough that he could use the time reading to continue to work on her reading skills.

Yakko watched his brother begin to go through the bag, pulling out food from the local burger joint. If they wanted a hot meal, he had been going there. In a wooden train car sitting in a field of dried out grass and dead trees, he didn't think it was the wisest move to start a fire to actually cook anything. Bad enough he had to use candles to have light in the car sometimes.

Afterwards, Yakko Fritzed a knife, which lasted just long enough to cut the cake. He was getting slightly better. As he handed out slices to each of his siblings, he noticed Dot's little gloveless hands.

He gave a half-smile and a small sigh - in exactly a year, he would be purchasing gloves for her. She would officially be a child, just like Wakko. And also just like Wakko, he would be responsible for raising her, teaching her, and training her with his own limited knowledge and experience.

XXXXXXXXXX

"That's really good Dot."

"I know," she agreed.

One thing about Dot, she wasn't modest at all.

"Pretty soon, you'll be writing better than me. Ok, let's try the letter 'R'. What number is that letter in your name?"

Dot looked at the paper in front of them on the floor of the train car. He had written out her full name at the top of it, and she was currently sitting between his legs, slowly scrawling out the letters in her favorite crayon - powder pink.

"Three."

"Great - you're a little mathematician. Ok, try to write that letter, OK?"

In the background, Wakko had been reading out loud from the current newspaper he had picked up earlier during that day's food run. Their money was almost out though - he and Wakko would need to get to 'work' shortly. Hopefully the TIS cars he had spotted today would move on, thinking that there were no runaway children in the area.

Wakko trailed off into silence, and Yakko looked up at him. Wakko was sitting on a milk crate Yakko had found in the debris near the factory building, still imprinted with the name 'Clarabell's Dairy'. It made a serviceable seat for the train car. Instead of reading though, Wakko was playing with the cheap soccer ball he had bought him for his birthday, rolling it back in forth between his feet.

"Keep reading Wakko - school's still in session. Put the ball away."

He heard Wakko sigh as he gave a small kick, sending the ball rolling into the corner. He'd no doubt rather be outside playing, but Yakko was adamant about both of his siblings having at least rudimentary skills when it came to the basics. He would let both of them run around outside in an hour or so, after he went out and did a quick look around, to make sure they were still alone at the site.

Almost two months there, and they had yet to see anyone else on the property.

They had been able to celebrate both Dot and Wakko's birthday at the train car. In another two weeks it would be Christmas - Yakko hoped that they would at least be able to celebrate that holiday as well there.

He didn't expect their luck to hold out forever, but it was nice having someplace relatively safe to return to, out of the elements, just the three of them -

"Why? This is boring -"

If it wasn't Math or playing, it was always boring to him. Wakko simply had too much energy.

"Because you're not running around like some illiterate hoodlum -"

"Yakko," he heard him say, "we're homeless - who cares if I know how to -"

Yakko looked up from helping Dot with her letters to give him what his brother had termed 'The Look'. 'The Look' usually entailed Yakko staring at him, eyes hard, arms crossed and lips drawn into a thin line until Wakko did what he said. Or, on occasion, he made him do what he said.

"I care." He pointed back at the newspaper in Wakko's hands. "Start reading where you last -."

"Yakko, this is stupid -"

"Read."

Wakko muttered, "Alright, shit -"

Yakko's ears perked slightly at the statement even as Wakko's eyes widened in surprise and he slapped both his hands over his mouth. Dot watched first Yakko, then Wakko, then turned back to Yakko, confused.

Yakko slid Dot off his lap onto the floor and stood, walking toward Wakko and reaching into his hammerspace. Still sitting on the milk crate, he saw Wakko wince - he knew what was coming.

"Mouth."

Wakko, trying his best to look contrite, whimpered out, "Yakko, I'm sor-"

_Need to stay firm…_

"Mouth. Now."

He debated on forgiving the indiscretion, but decided against it. He hated to do it to him, but every time he let one incident pass, his brother just ended up doing it more.

"But Yakko…" he whined.

Mind made up, he continued to glower down at Wakko. Finally, resigned to his fate, Wakko hesitantly opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out. Yakko quickly swiped the bar down his tongue, watching his face change from trepidation to disgust.

He used more soap on Wakko's mouth than they all used taking showers at the local truck stop and homeless shelter. Well, not really, but still, it had been working - that was the first filthy word he had heard from Wakko in over a week.

"Five minutes - you know where to go."

With a sulky look up at him, Wakko went to stand in the far left corner of the train car.

Yakko watched him for a moment; Wakko knew better than to turn around out of the corner before he was told to. Assured that he was going to obey, Yakko turned back around and sat back on the floor, pulling the curious Dot into his lap again.

"Ok Dot, before we were so rudely interrupted by someone's mouth," he said, shooting a glare to Wakko's turned back, "what were we doing?"

"Writing my name," she said. She then turned her head to look up at him. "Yakko, what does 'shit' mean? How about a 'fucker'?"

Shocked, Yakko stared at her for a second, then put both his hands over his face and shook his head.

_Not bad enough Wakko's doing it, now Dot's starting..._

"Dot," he said, looking down at her. "We don't say those words. Ever."

"But -"

He cut her off, saying more harshly than he intended, "We don't ever say those words. Period. It looks bad. Don't say them."

"How come we -"

"We. Don't. Say. Them. Understand?"

_They're trying to drive me crazy…they have to be…maybe they've teamed up or something…_

She pouted, not used to being reprimanded very harshly by him. He looked down at her - she looked adorable when she pouted. Her lower lip curled out, wavering slightly, and she looked up at him with big dark eyes, slowly filling…as they overflowed, he felt his annoyance begin to melt away, as she looked down at the floor.

"Sorry," she whispered, briefly looking up at him before lowering her head to look back down at the wooden floor.

Hearing her sniff a couple of times, his mind scrambled on how to get her to understand without making her cry. Like with Wakko, who's sniffing he was trying to ignore, he had a hard time staying strict with her for long. Looking at her again, he felt the last of irritation ebb away.

_She can wrap me around her finger like a piece of putty…_

He reached down and gently tilted her head back up to look at him, his voice not holding any of the previous firmness.

"Look, Dot, those are awful words. You ever hear me use them?"

"No," she said quietly, "but Wakko -"

"Shouldn't use them either. He did, and look where he's at right now." He gestured toward the corner before continuing. "Trust me, you wouldn't like the taste of Dial. It looks terrible for a little boy to use them - it's even worse for a little girl. You want people to think you're a slob, or you want them to think you're a lady?"

"A lady," she said.

_Dot was all girl; this was the best way to make the point with her._

"OK - and ladies don't use those sorts of words, capisce?"

Dot nodded. "OK. Sorry."

"It's forgiven. Now, let's get back to practicing your name."

Dot wrinkled her little nose. "Can't we do something different? I'm tired of that."

_They had been working on her letters for almost an hour…_

"Can we play Rhyme-Time again? I like that game."

Yakko thought - he had come up with the simple rhyming game to help alleviate his siblings' boredom and worry one day when they had been stuck in the train car during a violent rainstorm. He would start out with a line, and one of them would answer, making sure the lines all rhymed. When someone wanted to change the last word to make a new rhyming scheme, they would tap the floor, and a new group of rhymes would start.

Sure, it was goofy, but it taught them rhyming, word usage - the three of them usually played though…

Yakko checked his watch. It had been close to two minutes for Wakko; listening to him quietly sniffing was wearing on his last bit of annoyance with him. With a sigh, he decided to give him early release. He had probably got the gist of the lesson anyway.

_I'm such a sucker…_

"Come here Wakko."

Wakko turned, and still giving him a sulky look slowly came over to him.

"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to say it."

Yakko regarded him for a second before giving him a hug. "It's forgiven. Don't say it again or you'll be holding the soap in your mouth, got it?"

Wakko nodded.

Yakko patted the floor next to him, and Wakko sat, still clucking his tongue in his mouth. He'd no doubt have a foul taste in it for awhile. Hopefully, he'd remember the taste and be a little more judicious in his word usage for awhile - especially if Dot was starting to pick up some of his more graphic terms.

"Want to play Rhyme Time Wakko?" Dot asked, leaning off Yakko's lap to look in Wakko's face.

Wakko shrugged. "OK."

Wakko and Dot both then turned to Yakko; he usually started.

"Why don't you start this time Wakko?" He said.

"Really?"

Yakko laughed - he looked so excited.

"Really. Take it away sibling."

Wakko grinned, and started with, "Hey Yakko, wanna play the game of rhymes?"

Yakko smirked, "Sure thing Wakko, ring my chimes."

Dot popped in with, "Wanna go out and flatten a mime?"

"Great idea Dot - my favorite pastime!" Wakko shouted.

"Sorry siblings, we don't have the time," Yakko said.

Dot tapped the floor before saying, "Come on Yakko, make time for me?"

"If not now, then maybe at three?" Wakko said after a second.

Yakko tapped the floor saying, "Sorry siblings, I've things to do -"

"More important than us, you're a cuckoo!" Dot exclaimed, laughing.

Yakko and Wakko both laughed while Wakko tried to think of something to rhyme.

Watching his younger siblings laugh, Yakko thought maybe the 'Rhyme Time' game wasn't so goofy after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko woke early on Christmas morning.

His left arm had gone numb at some point during the night - Dot was currently using it as a pillow. Wakko was using his right arm in a similar manner. Slowly, so he didn't wake them, he wiggled out from underneath them carefully, lest he slam their heads onto the floor. He was good at this by now - both his siblings typically used him as a pillow at night.

As he sat up, he saw Dot give a slight shiver, and he quickly threw the blue blanket back over her. He had bought the blanket used at the local thrift store - 'PigPen's Bargain Bin', over on Schulz Way. He and Wakko had found it after his birthday. Curious, they had gone in and been delighted at what they could find.

Sure, it was all used, but the prices were right.

Yakko had snatched the blanket quickly, hoping to make their temporary home that was quickly becoming permanent slightly more comfortable. The blanket did help with that; they slept a lot more comfortably. And he had been able to get everyone a few more articles of clothing - nothing fancy, but it was all serviceable.

Even better, he had been able to find Christmas presents for both his younger siblings there. After their disastrous Christmas at the home last year, he wanted to try to make this one special. He had gone out a few times without Wakko for groceries, especially if he had recently spotted any TIS employees in the area.

Yakko stood, grabbing his black hooded sweatshirt off the floor. Another cheap purchase at 'PigPen's'.

Dot was securely under the blanket; Wakko was still asleep, curled up under the other part of the blanket, now using his balled up denim jacket as a pillow.

He moved the branches and boards, stepping out of their hidden lair and into the open section of the train car. He slid open the door to look outside and gave a little shiver; California or not, it still got chilly at night. He quickly pulled the sweatshirt on, zipping it up and went outside, keeping his ears raised and scanning the area. He didn't expect to see anyone, but he always checked before he let his guard down.

The sun was just starting to rise over the field. Off to the far left, he could just start to make out the outline of the crumbling factory, minus smoke stack. It had finally given up and crumpled a week ago, half of it landing on the ground amid the other debris. When it had fallen, it had been in the middle of the night, and the noise had spooked him so bad it was two days before he would let either of his siblings leave the train car.

Yakko did a quick look around of the area, spotting nothing suspicious.

Not having watched a sunrise in awhile, Yakko hopped up in the open cargo door of the train car, dangling his legs out the side, to observe. As the blackness of night was penetrated by the liquid gold of the sun, he watched a few birds begin to flutter around the field.

He heard a sound, and turned to see both Wakko and Dot wandering out of the hidden portion of the lair.

He gave them a smile and held his arms out. Smiling, they both silently came to him, Dot in his lap, Wakko sitting on the edge of the car on his right side, pulling his legs up and resting his chin on his knees, tongue peeking out the left side of his mouth. Yakko put his arm around him, drawing him closer as he tightened his arm around Dot's waist. He was always terrified about one of them falling off the edge of the car and tumbling to the ground.

They all watched the sunrise in silence, until the entire field was lit by the golden rays, the yellowed grass gleaming around them.

"Merry Christmas Yakko," Dot mumbled, leaning up to kiss his cheek before settling back down in his lap, snuggling her head back into his chest.

"Merry Christmas big brother," Wakko said giving him a hug.

"Merry Christmas you two," Yakko said back, holding them both tight for a minute. "It's a better Christmas than last year, isn't it?"

Wakko and Dot nodded, strangely silent.

"Let's open your presents, then -"

"Presents!" Wakko and Dot chorused, looking excited.

"Yes, you each got a present, you greedy munchkins. Let's open them, then we'll go to the diner. We'll get Christmas breakfast."

Two little faces eagerly watched him; going to the diner was reserved for special occasions mostly. It wasn't much - just the local truck-stop eatery, but they were open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Trucks didn't stop running, even on a holiday.

Yakko laughed to himself - the new Warner family Christmas tradition - getting up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise, open gifts, then eat at a truck stop.

Yakko reached into his hammerspace, pulling two white plastic bags - best hiding space ever.

He handed Dot her bag first. Wako watched, half in curiosity at what Yakko had bought her, half in irritation that he had to wait. Yakko was proud of him though - his little brother had been showing a surprising amount of maturity when it came to waiting his turn lately. Yakko supposed it was his brother just growing up.

Dot, delighted, began to open the bag carefully, acting like the bag was more priceless than the present inside. Wakko gave an irritated snort, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hurry up Dot -"

"Shut up Wakko - wanna take my time!"

"Stop you two - it's Christmas - no arguing allowed today," Yakko interrupted before an argument could break out.

Getting their muttered 'alright', he smirked to himself. They'd follow that for a few hours before getting into some small spat.

"Wakko, wait your turn - Dot can take as long as she needs -"

"See Wakko, so shut your pie hole!" she said, batting at him with her fist.

Yakko grabbed her hand. "But you can't hit him, be nice. Just open the bag, OK?"

Dot huffed, pulling her fist back and returning to delicately opening the bag. When that was accomplished, she reached inside.

Yakko crossed his fingers that were still around her waist, hoping she liked them…

The squeal she let out, followed by the elbow in the stomach and the back of her head smashing into his chin told him she probably did. Jumping up to stand in his lap, she gave him a rather wet kiss on his cheek again, before wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, cutting off his air flow.

"I love them - thank you thank you thank you," she chanted. "Will you put it on me? Please please please?"

"Yes, of course," he squeaked at her, trying to unwrap her arms from around his trachea.

"Need to be conscious for that though Dot, so if you could release my throat?"

"OK - put it on now," she ordered, thrusting one of her gifts at him. "It's too pretty not to wear right now."

Yakko took the gift, looking at it for a second. He never thought he would find something this…nice, at the thrift store.

It was a small necklace, perfect for a little girl. At the end of the chain was a small gold unicorn charm, the creature rearing up on its hind legs. He doubted it was worth more than the six dollars he paid for it; it probably wasn't worth that much. But, she loved unicorns, and four year olds didn't much care if any jewelry they had was worth a fortune or not.

He fastened the chain around her neck and looked into her beaming face.

"Now you'll have to be careful with it Dot, that chain is thin, OK?"

She nodded. "I'll be really careful, I promise." She threw her arms around his neck again, almost bugging his eyes. "Thank you Yakko it's really pretty."

Yakko began to unhook her arms again. "And it looks even prettier on you."

_Ugh, that was so cheesy it should have been in A Very Brady Christmas movie._

Blaming it on the lack of air flow, he watched as she settled back to sitting in his lap, beginning to play with her other present, a toy unicorn he had found there - 'My Little Pony' or 'My Small Plastic Equestrian Statue' or whatever the hell they were called.

"Yakko," Wakko pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. "Why does that horse have a moon and stars on its butt?"

"Cuz she's cute," Dot answered, not looking at him.

"Right, cuz she's cute," Yakko answered, picking up Wakko's bag before he asked anymore questions and got Dot upset.

"Your turn Wakko," he said, handing him the bag containing his two gifts. Once again, he crossed his fingers, hoping his brother would like these gifts as much as Dot liked hers.

Giving him a grin, Wakko took the bag and quickly ripped it open. Sure, he had been doing good displaying some growing maturity…but he was a seven year old boy on Christmas…

_Maturity lasts only until the present is in the hand_, Yakko thought, snickering as he watched Wakko practically destroy the bag getting it open.

Dot wrinkled her nose, mumbling something that sounded like 'messy pig' but Wakko ignored her.

Wakko picked through the remnants of the bag, finally pulling out one of his gifts. He looked confused at the small slender grey box for a few seconds, then opened it. When he saw what was inside, he grinned.

"A harmonica?"

Yakko grinned and nodded. "I thought you'd like it - I remember you watching those street musicians and one of them -"

He was cut off by Wakko wrapping his arms around his neck. Both his siblings apparently were starting yet another Warner family Christmas tradition - strangling him.

"Thank you Yakko! It's faboo! Wanna hear me play a song?"

_What could he possibly know?_

"Sure Wakko lay it on me."

Wakko carefully took the golden instrument out and looked at it. He put it to his mouth and taking a deep breath, blew into it, letting out a horrible squeaking sound.

Dot pulled at Yakko's shirt.

"He's not very good Yakko."

Yakko looked at her, then at Wakko, who looked embarrassed.

"He just got it Dot, give him a break huh?" He turned to Wakko. "There's a book in there too." He laughed at Wakko's face at the mention of the word 'book'. "It's an OK book Wakko - it's about your harmonica. Look at that, then try again - I know you'll do great with it."

Wakko looked pleased again and pulled out the book, hardly more than a thick pamphlet.

Yakko leaned back on his arms, pleased with himself. He had spent less than twenty dollars getting these simple presents for his siblings, and they couldn't have been happier if he had spent five hundred dollars each.

He had been depressed earlier in the month, and had grappled with his conscience. His fingers had been tempted to dip deeper than he wanted into unsuspecting toons' pockets, looking to supplement his income to be able to afford bigger, more expensive presents for them.

Why should his siblings have to do without - with his skills, he could have picked any pocket around and grabbed enough money to afford to buy them tons of toys and presents.

However, his little inner voice won out. And after watching them with these cheap but meaningful presents he chose for them, he knew he made the right decision. Even if one day, they were rich and famous and didn't want for a single thing, hopefully, they would remember this Christmas in the abandoned train car.

This holiday was supposed to be about family, and giving, and love, not about who got the biggest and most expensive -

"Um, Yakko?"

Yakko shook his head and looked down at his brother. Wakko and Dot were both looking at him, as if they were expecting a response.

"Uh, sorry guys," Yakko said, slightly embarrassed. "Took a trip."

"Oh. Where'd ya go?" Wakko asked.

_Wakko was so naïve sometimes._

"Never mind sib. Did you two say something?"

Wakko and Dot exchanged a glance, looking a bit unsure now that he was fully paying attention to them.

"We got something for you too," Dot said, very quietly. "Show him Wakko."

_Got something for me? Oh no, if Wakko stole something for me…or even worse, the times I let Dot leave - if she stole something when I wasn't looking… _

Wakko reached into his hammerspace, concentrating and finally pulling out a couple sheets of paper, covered in crayon scrawl.

Yakko felt himself instantly relax, and felt extremely guilty for his previous thought - they had made him something from the looks of it, and he had been mentally accusing them of stealing him something.

Wakko, ducking his head a bit, handed Dot one of the pieces of paper.

"Wakko said we should do it - I drew you a picture," Dot said, dropping her toy on the floor and standing again in his lap. "See?" she asked, shoving the paper into his face.

Yakko pulled his head back, only able to see the white of the picture and some pink and green lines. Gently taking the paper from her, he looked at it.

It was a picture of them, almost in the same positions they were in now - him sitting, Dot in his lap, Wakko on his right side. They were sitting in their train car, with Yakko's arms around both.

Yakko gave a small smile, and blinked back a tear. Definitely the best gift he had ever received - they were hardly more than stick figures drawn in pink, green, and purple crayons - but to him, it was more valuable than a Picasso.

"Do you like it?" Dot asked, looking at him hopefully. "I tried really hard -"

"Dot, its great - and I love it. Thank you," he said, giving her a hug.

Wakko cleared his throat, and Yakko turned to give him his full attention.

"Whatcha got kiddo?"

"Well, I don't draw well," Wakko said, twisting his face in nervousness. "So I wrote something…if that's OK…"

"It's perfect," Yakko said, surprised. This had to be the first time that Wakko had willingly wrote anything, and he had done it for him.

Touched, Yakko continued. "Take it away - I want to hear it."

Wakko cleared his throat again, looked at him, then looked back at the paper he was clutching in his shaking hands.

"OK -"

Scrunching his face up, he began.

"Big Brother…

"You make me laugh, you make me cry  
Sometimes you make me mad  
But having you as my big brother  
Makes me very glad.

You've taught us both lots of things  
You've taught us about right and wrong  
And reading and math and rhyming  
Which is why I can write this song.

I know I misbehave a lot  
Your lectures make me sigh  
But thanks to you I know I'll one day  
Be able to Fritz a pie.

You fought to keep us together  
You help us day and night  
We both love and respect you  
Even though sometimes we fight.

I know we make things difficult  
The day and the whole night through  
But you've never left us, so we want to say  
Big brother, Dot and I really love you."

Finished, Wakko looked up at him, still gripping the paper.

Yakko didn't say anything at first, he just reached out and hugged him, holding him for a few moments.

For the first time for Wakko writing a poem, he thought it was excellent. It was obvious to him that his younger brother, much like Dot, had put everything he had into writing the short piece, and he was especially touched by it.

"Thanks Wak, I really liked it," he muttered into his hair.

"Welcome; sorry we couldn't buy you anything-"

"I don't need anything – these gifts were perfect – thanks guys,"

_Ugh. Get any cheesier around here and I'll have to serve crackers. _

"Let's go get something to eat sibs-"

Cheers and chants about pancakes, waffles, and eggs filled his ears and he grinned; Christmas had turned out pretty great after all.

He lifted everyone out of the car and they headed out of the field. Wakko and Dot waited at the guard shack as usual while he ran out to the main street to scan the road for TIS or police vehicles. Seeing none, he waved them over, and they all began the six block walk to Heathcliff Truck Stop on Cadillac Lane.

After eating and looking at some of the tacky holiday displays in the closed store fronts, they headed back to the train car to kick around Wakko's soccer ball. Dot finally went down for her nap, and Yakko took his brother back outside – it was a nice day, and if they stayed out there, there was less chance they would wake her up.

Yakko sat on the edge of the car, so he could hear Dot if she called out for him, and sent Wakko further out into the field since he wanted to practice his harmonica. And, Yakko had to admit to himself, until Wakko gained any experience with it, he didn't feel like listening to all the sour notes that would be emanating from him.

Wakko sat in the grass about ten feet away from him, and began to flip through the book, stopping at certain times to begin to blow notes on his harmonica. Some sounded like they could potentially belong to a scale. Other's sounded like a dying whale.

Watching Wakko with a small smile on his face, Yakko pulled out the poem and drawing from his hammerspace and gazed at them for a minute. Dot's drawing was the closest thing to a photograph he would ever have of this time in their lives; Wakko's simple poem was almost like a summarization of their lives up to that point and their feelings for him. He gave a small smile - he imagined this was exactly what a proud parent would feel like.

He reached into his hammerspace and concentrated, feeling the scrapbook get pushed into his hands. He carefully opened it and placed the two sheets of paper inside. Whenever he got some glue, he planned on gluing them in, securing them forever in the volume of Warner history. The scrapbook was his now; he could put in what he wanted – and he wanted to be able to keep these memories forever.

XXXXXXXXX

February 1992

Wakko opened his eyes slowly; he was warm and comfortable, snuggled up in the dark blue blanket. He could feel his jacket bunched up under his head; usually he used Yakko's arm.

He yawned and stretched, not feeling a presence beside him. Yakko usually slept in the middle...

Wakko sat up and looked around – Yakko was gone. Dot was on the other side of the blanket, clutching Cupcake to her chest, her left ankle still wrapped in the ace bandage Yakko had in the little first aid kit he had bought. She twisted it a few days ago while they were all outside playing.

He snorted to himself – because she twisted her ankle, he couldn't play near the old car bodies anymore. Yakko said it was too dangerous – if Dot had tripped on some hidden piece of debris, there could be something worse hidden in the tall grass.

Wakko was a little annoyed – he liked the old cars – they were fun to look at, sometimes he would climb inside and pretend he was driving them. A few had their old engines and transmission still inside and he liked to see how they were put together.

But because of Dot, he couldn't go over there anymore. That wasn't fair – he didn't get hurt.

He frowned and began looking for the customary note Yakko would leave, figuring that maybe if he talked to his brother later, Yakko would allow him to go over there. Yakko never left without telling them or leaving a note – usually he went with him though – he didn't like being left at the car.

He finally saw a piece of paper on the milk crate. Yakko had left for groceries, Wakko was to stay in the car with Dot until he got back. Yakko had been really strict about that lately – right after Christmas they had spotted a higher than normal amount of TIS cars around – last week he and Yakko had been chased – the two toons knew their names too.

Dot had only left the lot twice since Christmas, and Wakko only a handful of times. It had been a boring two months though; nothing ever happened on the lot; it was only them there. There were all sorts of things going on once you went into the actual street though.

Wakko sighed; another boring day; he couldn't even go outside and play while Dot slept.

When Yakko said don't leave the car, he meant don't leave the car.

Wakko tried to skirt around that rule by just going out in the field and playing with his ball last month when Yakko left for groceries. He had got back inside before Yakko came home, but Dot told on him - she was getting him in trouble because he wouldn't play with her. Yakko had been really mad – the thirty minute lecture he got, plus another thirty minutes of sitting in the corner told him he should consider keeping his butt in the car.

He sent a look at Dot, hoping she'd wake up so he could at least practice with his harmonica. He wasn't allowed to play with it if she was asleep.

He was getting a lot better with it though – he could play almost every song in the book now, and was even trying to write his own songs. Yakko said he was sounding really good; even Dot said he didn't hurt her ears as much as he used to.

She wasn't waking up.

He debated on going out and playing for awhile hoping that Yakko wouldn't find out, but didn't know if the risk would be worth it. Yakko had said the next time he caught him out of the car when he specifically told him to stay in he was going to have to stand in the corner because he wouldn't be able to sit.

Sighing, he settled down on the floor, wondering how he was going to keep himself entertained. He couldn't play with his ball – there wasn't enough room really in their section of the car. He couldn't play the harmonica because it would wake his sister up before she was ready to get up.

He could practice his Fritzing, but he didn't really feel like doing that. Yakko said he would get his mallet when he was able to totally Fritz a pie, but he still had a long way to go on that – his pie pans were ok now, but the pie itself was usually watery, odd colored and disappeared in about two seconds. Yakko practiced a lot; he Fritzed all sorts of stuff, trying to move up to more advanced stuff like flames. Wakko was stuck doing pies, and that got boring after awhile.

He could practice some card shuffles and other tricks. Yakko said they could lose the skills if they didn't practice at least sometimes. But he didn't feel like doing that either.

Yakko had given him a writing assignment, but he didn't feel like doing that right now either. Yakko acted like he was a school teacher a lot. Wakko didn't see the point – they were street kids – urchins he had heard them called once; no one cared if they could read. But it seemed important to Yakko.

He would do the assignment later.

Making that decision, he realized he didn't have any other options. He could read the harmonica book again.

He reached around to his hammerspace and concentrated, finally finding the harmonica book, and he settled back to read. He couldn't play, but he could read. There was a section in the back about reading music, and he had been trying to teach himself that.

He read for a few minutes before he heard a little yawn; Dot was finally waking up. Excited, he watched her stretch and mumble as she sat up – if she was awake, he could play.

She rubbed her eyes and stretched again, looking around before her eyes settled on him.

"Where's Yakko?"

"Out."

_How should I know – he left me here too instead of waking me up to go with him._

"When's he coming back?"

Wakko shrugged and took the harmonica out of his hammerspace.

"When'd he leave?"

"I don't know Dot – he didn't tell me."

_Jeeze she asks a lot of questions._

"Will you play with me?"

Wakko wrinkled his nose. "I don't want to play with a unicorn and a bear."

"I don't want to listen to you squawk on that stupid thing."

_Squawk?_

"I don't squawk! I'm getting better – even Yakko said so!"

Dot snorted. "He said it to be nice."

"Snot," Wakko muttered.

"Please play with me?"

Wakko looked at her – she was doing the big eyed puppy dog look, tying to look pathetic and charming at the same time.

Wakko started snickering at her. "That won't work on me – I taught it to you, remember?"

"True," Dot conceded gracefully. "But I use it better than you."

That was true – she used it and could get away with almost anything. He used it now and got nowhere. The last time he tried it, Yakko had asked him if he had gas.

"You have to play with me Wakko!"

"I don't have to do anything-"

"You'd better, or I'll tell Yakko!"

Wakko shrugged. "I don't care – he probably doesn't want to play with your girl toys-"

Wakko stopped talking, raising his ears slightly. He could have sworn he heard a voice.

"Wakko," Dot whined. "Stop ignoring me when I'm threatening you! Play with me now!"

"Shut up! I hear someone," he hissed at her.

"It's probably Yakko – if it is, I'm telling him you woke me up!"

Wakko ignored her, crawling across the floor to their hidden opening.

"You're gonna get in trouble," Dot sing-songed.

"Be quiet! If someone's out there, you want them to hear?"

Dot looked worried, but tried to put on a brave face. "You're trying to scare me so I won't bother you."

_You wish._

"No I'm not-"

He immediately stopped talking and listened, straining his ears. He did hear a voice, two voices, and they were way too deep to be Yakko. They were adult voices.

Dot crawled across the floor to sit beside him, her ears lifted as well.

The voices were talking, near the door to their car.

"Need to get these cars moved at some point Mac."

Mac answered. "Ok – get that scheduled for next month."

_Oh no…visitors. _

_Double oh no - Yakko was out there somewhere. _

_Darn. Have to do something..._

"Dot," he said, turning to her. He saw her big frightened eyes and suddenly felt guilty for not playing with her before and being mad she twisted her ankle. "I need to lead them away –"

She immediately clung to him, wrapping her arms around him. "Don't leave me Wakko! I promise I won't make you play anything you don't want to!"

Wakko untangled her arms from around him. "No Dot, you don't understand! If I don't get them away, they'll find our home."

_And you – I don't want someone to take you away again..._

He couldn't toonspeed, but he was still pretty quick. Dot wasn't anywhere near as fast, especially with a hurt ankle, and he couldn't carry her far. She wasn't heavy, but he was little. If Yakko was here –

_Yakko. Gotta find him. He'll know what to do._

"Look, Dot, stop crying, please?" he begged, seeing her tears starting to fall. "I have to get them away from the cars, and try to warn Yakko – he doesn't know- "

"Oh no...they'll take Yakko!"

With that dire prediction, she started sobbing. Wakko put his arms around her, promising that if they got out of this, he'd play unicorns with her all day.

The voices were still outside – he couldn't let them find her.

"Dot, I'm going to lead them away. Look, I need you to help me."

She finally looked at him, still crying. "What? What can I do? Tell me! I wanna help!"

"I'm going out there to get them away from the car," he said, ignoring her sobbing of 'don't leave', "If Yakko gets back, and I'm not back because I didn't find him, let him know what's going on – tell him I got the men away, and you two should leave, OK? Can you do that?"

Dot looked at him like she was insulted. "That's all you want me to do? I can do more than that!"

_What, throw your bear at them?_

Wakko stopped his mental bashing of her – she was trying to help, and he was acting like a brat. "That's all? Dot, Yakko has to know what's going on, and I won't be here to tell him – that's really important!"

_That, and you and him getting out of here._

"Oh all right," she grumbled.

_No way I was this much of a pain when I was four._

"OK – great! I'm gonna go distract them away from this car...hopefully Yakko will be back soon. Then you two can get out of here."

"OK...be careful..."Dot whispered.

"Don't worry about me sis- I'll be fine."

_I hope._

Dot gave him a hug, which he returned, and he quietly moved the branches out of his way.

Grasping the boards, he moved them gingerly, not wanting to make any noise. He had to find out where these guys went to.

The boards moved out slightly, he crawled out, giving a slight wave to Dot. He moved them back the way they were, hiding the entrance to their little lair. He turned, noticing the door to the train car was opened slightly, letting in a little ray of sunlight that splashed across the floor.

Nervous he began to chew on the corner of his lip and crept to the doorway. Those guys must have been near the car at one time; Yakko never left the door to the train open. He peeked out. Their car was the fourth one nearest the run down factory. He could hear the men talking; they were near the three cars that had crashed into each other.

Hearing the voices getting louder, he pulled his head back inside. He had to come up with a plan. If he could lure them away from the car, he could go hide in the factory – Yakko had let him look in one of the doorways a few times. He could find plenty of places to hide if he could get there.

If they were chasing him, not only were they not finding Dot, but they would hopefully not see Yakko coming across the field whenever he came back.

Wakko took another peek out of the car; he could see the men now. One was a big gorilla toon, the other was a sleek black panther toon. Even from the distance, he could see they were both wearing blue coveralls.

Straining his ears, he could still hear them talking – something about tearing the factory down, cleaning up the surrounding land, and building a housing project and strip mall.

Wakko gave a small sigh; too bad, he sort of liked their train car. It had been home for almost five months now, it wasn't much, but it was all theirs, or had been.

Stupid developers.

Making up his mind to go before he got too scared to move, he carefully jumped out of the train car, landing on his feet on the ground. He smiled to himself; Yakko was always so afraid that he was going to hurt himself he'd never let him jump out.

Wakko was debating what his next move was going to be when it was decided for him.

"Damn it – there's a kid here! You! Kid! Get over here!"

"Heck no!" Wakko yelled back. " You gotta catch me mister!"

Wakko took off running toward the factory – that panther was fast.

Wakko ducked under the first wrecked train car, crawling under it, then ducking out on the opposite side when he came to the second car. The panther and gorilla tried to follow him under the car, but he was too fast. He continued to run as fast as his legs would carry him…couldn't let them catch him, then he'd go back to that home and he'd never see his family again.

Running quickly, he cut through the grass as they continued to follow him, going much slower for fear of falling in hidden holes or over the countless debris that was camouflaged by years of overgrown weeds. Wakko had more to worry about than a stubbed toe, and he continued at full speed, finally reaching the crumbling loading dock.

Turning around, he saw the two toons still coming at him, and yelling at him to stop.

_Why do people say that? No one ever stops – it's just wasting breath._

He shrugged; this was not the time to debate silly questions. He ran into the first loading door, long since kicked in, and looked around. Now that he was in there, he didn't know where to hide.

_Shoot, shoot...what do I do?_

Spying a ladder on the other side of the building, he ran to it, avoiding the gaping hole in the floor, and feeling the floor giving way beneath his feet. Crossing his fingers that it didn't collapse with him on it, he began to climb.

He pushed back some hazy memory – he had been on a rickety ladder before – it reminded him of this – swaying and rocking around like it was about to separate from the wall and fall with him on it.

Hoping that didn't happen, he continued to climb, making it to a second floor catwalk. He looked around – this had been a really dumb move – the catwalk was broken; the end he was at was at the wall – ten feet in front of him, the catwalk had fallen. He was basically on a high, loosely hanging platform. He was stuck.

He was about to climb down and look for a better place to hid when he heard the men's voices. He ducked down on the platform, lying on his belly as they appeared in the doorway below him.

He heard them commenting about how dangerous this place was, the kid ran in there; one of the toons – the one named Mac said he didn't want to go in – screw the kid if he went in there; he wasn't risking his life for some dirty rug-rat.

Wakko stuck his tongue out – he hadn't been dirty until they chased him in there – all of them had showers at the truck stop two days ago.

The men finally began to walk in, pointing out different left over equipment and other old items, needles and wrappers, and the occasional hole or hanging beam or falling bit of timber from the second floor.

Wakko continued to crouch down on the cat walk, hoping that they didn't decide to climb the ladder. They pointed up it, the panther making a comment about how it was fallen and the kid would be stupid to have climbed up there. The gorilla said he was going to check the rest of the train cars, and that if he wanted to continue to search, he could.

The panther said he was going to take a look around, and the gorilla walked back out. Wakko held his breath as he watched him go and hoped that Yakko was back, had grabbed Dot, and was gone.

Wakko squeezed back his tears, hoping that he'd see them again someday.

Yakko was smart, he wouldn't hang around with Dot if those guys were around. He might come back later for him; maybe if he stayed up on the catwalk until the men left Yakko would come back for him.

Cheered up some by that thought, he watched the man continue to walk around, calling out to him to give himself up, he wasn't going to hurt him. Wakko didn't believe him. Sure, he probably wasn't going to 'hurt' him, but he would call TIS and have him hauled back to the home. He didn't want to go back there.

After a long time, probably fifteen minutes, the man gave up. Yelling out 'it's your funeral kid'. He left, walking out the door he had come in.

Wakko released his breath; finally. He knew adults liked to trick kids though, so he waited for a little bit, just incase the man was waiting outside the door.

Finally, he decided it was safe and he gingerly stood on the wobbling platform. Grasping the handrails, he began to climb down, watching the dirt and dust shaking loose from the bolts on the wall.

He felt a sense of relief when he finally reached the floor, as rickety as it was. He began to pick his way across the floor carefully, trying to identify where it would be safest to put his foot before leaning any weight on it.

Yakko was right, like he usually was. This place was dangerous. If the man was gone, he had to get out of here.

Wakko finally was at the cargo doors, and sighed in relief. That had been pretty scary -

"Gotcha!"

Wakko yelped in fright as a hand closed on the scruff of his neck and he felt himself being lifted in the air.

"Knew if I waited a minute or two I'd get ya!"

_Only a minute or two? Could have sworn it was ten -_

"Put me down!"

He tried kicking at the panther, but his legs weren't long enough.

_Shoot, now what? Wait - bet I can get away…_

"Just calm down kid -"

"Yeah, sure, calm," Wakko said, hoping his voice wasn't trembling as much as he was.

"That's the ticket kid. Now, what's a boy like you running around this place for?"

Wakko almost felt bad - the guy seemed pretty friendly -

"Taking a tour of this place - lots of history here - some of the anvils used in the Coyote cartoons came from this factory - did ya know that mister?"

He reached around to his hammerspace, concentrating. He wished he had practiced this earlier instead of whining about Yakko making him stay behind in the car.

Wakko continued to concentrate as the man continued talking about calling the cops and finding his parents. He felt a pie pan materialize in his hand - he hoped it worked this time…

"You don't need to do that mister - here - you like bananas?"

With that, Wakko squished the pie in the man's face.

_The pie looks almost correct! It was still really watery, but it was yellow like a banana crème should be - can't wait to tell Yakko…gotta get out of here first._

With a roar and a few curses, the man dropped him, and Wakko's feet were already moving before he hit the ground. He took off down the stairs, feeling the loose concrete breaking apart under his feet.

Landing on the ground, he continued to run, toward the train cars. He heard the man start running after him, not sounding as friendly as he had a few minutes ago. Getting slammed in the face with a pie tends to ruin a toon's good humor.

Wakko took a quick glance behind him. He wasn't sure what the man was so upset about - the pie had already disappeared off him.

Wakko turned forward, still running. He hoped that gorilla toon wasn't around - he was tired. Between the running, climbing, and pulling the pie, he was worn out. Yakko had told him that Fritzing something burned up a lot of energy, and it would be years until he could pull more than one or two things before he was exhausted. He had to find someplace to hide.

Running past the trains, he headed toward the fence line, hoping that Dot was safe. He started to head toward the section that contained the car bodies - he could hide over there.

He passed a Chevrolet pickup truck, and he ran behind it, crouching down and trying to keep quiet as he inhaled big lung-fulls of air.

He strained his ears trying to listen for anything. Maybe he lost the man -

Suddenly he felt an arm encircle his chest, pinning his arms to his side, while a hand came down over his mouth.

Petrified, he was bringing his head back trying to hit whoever had him pinned down when he heard a blessedly familiar voice whispering in his ear.

"It's me Wak - calm down and keep quiet, OK?"

_Yakko._

Wakko felt himself sag into his brother's arm, almost giddy with relief. He thought he was caught.

Wakko quickly nodded, then turned to look up at Yakko as his brother released him. Yakko smiled at him, but looked worried.

"Neighborhood's going downhill sib - think it's moving day," he said quietly.

Wakko nodded. "Dot?"

"Safe. She told me what was going on from your end - she's hidden in the drainpipe outside the fence. I came back in to find you. What were you thinking kiddo? You could have been caught!"

Wakko looked into Yakko's face; he was angry at him. "I was trying to distract them so they wouldn't find Dot, and you could -"

Yakko snorted. "I saw them - I was outside the fence when I saw the cars. I was tracking them," he broke off, looking at him. "Look, we'll talk about this later; but if I tell you to stay somewhere, stay there, OK?"

Wakko nodded, usually when Yakko wanted to have a talk, it never ended well for him.

"Sorry."

Yakko's face softened; apparently he wasn't too angry.

"Don't be sorry - you did good; you were trying to protect Dot and me - but I've been doing a pretty good job of protecting you two right?"

Wakko nodded. That was true - Yakko could be a bit of a worry-wart sometimes, but he'd never let them get hurt.

"So just trust that I know what's going on OK? I've got enough to worry about right now. I almost had a heart attack when I got to the car and you weren't there."

Yakko ruffled his hair briefly, then paused, pulling his hand back at the sound of something crunching in the dead grass and trash around them.

_Footsteps._

Yakko, still crouching, held his finger up to his lip for silence, then gestured for Wakko to get in front of him.

Wakko quickly moved, and saw Yakko waving his hand - he wanted to get out of there. With Yakko behind him they began to creep through the tall grass along the fence, moving toward the outside street, the drainage ditch hiding Dot, and freedom.

After a long crawl they finally reached the gate. Yakko peeked up, and still staying low, pushed the gate open, letting Wakko crawl through before following him.

Yakko stood and held his hand down to Wakko. They went to the drain, where Dot was sitting inside, clutching Cupcake and her unicorn. Upon seeing them, she started to try to stand, limping on her hurt ankle.

"You found him! He's OK! And I stayed quiet Yakko!"

"Good job Dot!"

"So did I win?"

Wakko watched as Yakko pulled out a chocolate bar from his hammer space, ripped open the wrapper and handed it to her as he picked her up.

"Yep! Here ya go - congratulations!"

Wakko snorted - _silly baby games_.

Dot looked at him as she began to eat the bar. "I'm glad he found you - I was really scared! That man sounded mean." She broke off a piece of chocolate and held it out to him. "Want some?"

Surprised, Wakko nodded, taking the proffered piece. "Thanks sis."

_Sometimes she wasn't so bad._

"OK sibs. Moving day is upon us. I think everything of value I grabbed -"

"My ball!"

_Darn, really liked my ball -_

"I grabbed it Wak - it's in my hammerspace. Anything that didn't get grabbed can be replaced."

Wakko felt a little guilty – they'd barely escaped, and he was worried abut his toy.

He watched as Yakko ran his hand through his hair, one of Yakko's own nervous mannerisms.

His brother was worried; really worried. Wakko hated to ask, but needed to know.

"Um, Yakko, where are we gonna go now?"

Yakko looked down at him, worry and exhaustion making him seem more adult like than normal.

"It's getting…uncomfortably warm around Natwick. TIS is crawling all over this section."

"So where will we go Yakko?" Dot asked, still eating her chocolate.

"I think it's time we left ToonTown for awhile."

Wakko stared at him, not expecting to hear that. He was excited and curious about the outside world, but never thought Yakko would ever say 'let's go explore it'.

Yakko must have seen his look, because without a word, he reached into his hammerspace and pulled something out and handed it to him.

Wakko took it, curious. It was a rolled up poster. He frowned and unrolled it to view it better.

There was about fifteen pictures of children on there, wanted for various crimes and charges or listed as endangered missing. The bottom row, the last three pictures, were of them, still in those ugly TIS uniforms from the home. Wakko didn't even remember posing for that picture, and he felt a little shiver run up his spine. This had to be big trouble. He looked up as Yakko spoke.

"Those things are everywhere. Right now, I don't think we'll be safe in ToonTown. If we get caught, they're gonna separate us guys, and this time, I don't know if I'll be able to pull off another escape and rescue mission."

Dot had stopped eating her candy, and was now paying close attention to the conversation. Wakko had rolled up the poster and continued to watch his older brother as worry and stress played across his pale features.

Wakko exchanged a look with Dot, then they both turned back to Yakko.

Finally, Wakko asked him, "OK. How do we get there? I know there are customs and checkpoints-"

"Already have a plan. But we need to get across Natwick first."

"What are we gonna do?"

"Hitch a ride of course," Yakko answered, already starting to walk off.

Wakko just decided to keep quiet as he trotted after him. Yakko was in one of his 'sarcastic and not giving up any information' moods.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, Yakko was lifting his sibling into the back of a truck. He hurriedly jumped up into the bed of the pickup and pushed everyone down as the driver, a bulldog toon, loaded one more box into the back of the bed and slammed the tailgate.

As the driver got into the cab of the truck and started it up, Yakko slowly sat up. The driver's window was covered with boxes, so he was not concerned about being seen. They would have to hide more thoroughly when they got to a checkpoint, but for now, they could sit up.

Yakko looked at the boxes, all stamped with the name 'Golden Age Mallet Company'.

"Where is this truck going Yakko?"

He turned to look down at Dot. "It's heading into Los Angeles I think is what the man said. It's heading out of here, which is all I cared about."

"How'd you find that out Yakko?" Wakko asked him.

"Overheard a driver talking about it today while I was out."

"Yakko, I'm hungry."

"I know Wakko - I'm hungry too. Once we get off the truck, I'll find us something to eat, OK?"

_Probably should have got everyone food before jumping onto this truck..._

Coming up on a checkpoint, he directed everyone to crowd around him, and they squeezed between a few boxes, hoping that they weren't seen. This was poorly planned, but the best he could come up with on such short notice.

He couldn't see the customs officer, only hear his deep booming voice. The toon didn't even look in the bed, just greeted the driver and waved them through.

_Some customs officer_, he thought with a laugh.

Wherever this truck was going, it had to be better than where they were at. Pulling both his siblings closer to him, he hoped this was the beginning of something better for all of them - a fresh start in a new city.

_Los Angeles, here come the Warners._

End Chapter 11


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – The Wanderers

February 1992

"Truck's finally going to be coming to a stop, sibs. We gotta hop out before the driver sees us and get out of here." He watched as Wakko and Dot nodded. "Just stay down for now and keep quiet, OK?"

Stiff, sore and tired, Yakko unhooked his cramped fingers from his siblings' arms.

Wakko crawled out of his lap and Dot shifted. After three hours in the back of the truck, mostly on interstates, wedged in-between two large crates on the passenger side of the truck, he was physically exhausted. He had pulled both his siblings onto his lap, braced his feet and back against the crates, and physically held both of them down so they didn't fly out of the back of the truck.

Wakko was trying to stretch his back and tail out beside him, Dot was trying to look out the side of the truck, and both were whining about being hungry.

Yakko ignored their complaints and tried to stretch his legs out. They were going to have to run as soon as the truck stopped. He couldn't believe where they were; when the truck had passed through customs in ToonTown, he figured it would go a few miles and stop so the driver could eat or something. He had been alarmed when it had not only not stopped, it had hopped on the interstate and had gone at breakneck speeds until pulling off on a surface street and continuing down it, also too fast for him to even consider trying to jump out.

He had been able to stick his head up enough to see where the truck was going - The Port of Long Beach. Long Beach was technically in Los Angeles, but this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.

The truck was passing through a security check point so the driver could hand the guard his papers. Yakko peeked up again; there were too many workers around to jump. He wanted to get out and hidden before anyone saw them.

Chances were that TIS and ToonTown police would not be looking for them on the outside, especially this far away. However, ToonTown authorities routinely shared their information with the human authorities about their missing and wanted - it would be best to keep low for now.

The truck continued slowly through, finally stopping at a loading dock.

Yakko inhaled, smelling the salty air for the first time. He grasped Dot as she tried to stick her head up to look.

"Keep down Dot-"

"I want to see Yakko - Wakko was lying - he said we're at the ocean."

"He's not lying - we're really at - well - near the ocean. This is the San Pedro Bay, which connects to-."

Dot gasped, then a grin spread across her features. "I want to see!" She began to struggle to get out of his grasp again. "Let go Yakko - I want to see - I've never see an ocean!"

"None of us have ever seen one - I'll let you look at it later, OK?" Yakko replied, already distracted. It was already dark; the docks were well lit though, so they would have to be careful when they snuck off.

"Wakko's looking-"

_What? _

Yakko jerked around to see where his brother was. Wakko had crawled away to the back of the truck and was almost hanging over the tailgate to look around.

_Darn kid. _

Yakko leaned forward and yanked Wakko back by his jacket as the truck came to a sudden stop. Good thing he did; the sudden halt had almost knocked Wakko over the tailgate.

Yakko pulled him back between the crates, holding his arm.

"I told you to stay down. You wanna get spotted?"

Wakko frowned. "I just wanted to see."

Yakko sighed. "Look guys, I know this is exciting, and I promise I'll let you guys look around. Heck, I'll take you to the beach - it's not like we have anywhere else we need to be. But first, we have to get out of here. Just stay quiet and let me find a way to get us out of here, OK?"

"OK," they mumbled in unison.

Yakko raised an ear. The driver had exited the cab and was walking to the back of the truck as a dock worker came out of the building to greet him.

He pushed both his siblings down as the human man and toon greeted each other, shaking hands and then leaning on the rail of the pick-up to talk, on the passenger side too.

_Figures. Could they make this any harder? _

Yakko shared a frightened look with Wakko. They were both so close he could smell their sweaty bodies and the cigar smoke from the driver and the overpowering stench of cheap aftershave from the dock worker. Yakko grabbed Dot's hand as she waved it back and forth in front of her nose, then put a hand over her mouth when she opened it to protest.

The two began to discuss the shipment. The mallets were being shipped to China, and would be unloaded onto the ship as soon as the other dockworkers were back from break.

Yakko, growing impatient with their talk so near their hiding space, wanted the men to take a break too. They didn't seem inclined to leave the truck though, so he would have to do something. He carefully removed his hand from Dot's mouth, giving her 'The Look' - she pouted by didn't say anything.

Yakko reached into his hammerspace, concentrating and pulling out a rock. Lame, sure, and probably wouldn't work - the dock was pretty noisy, and he was too exhausted to think of anything more complicated.

Wakko looked at him and mouthed 'that's the best you can do'?

Irritated, Yakko mouthed back 'you got something better, be my guest' and waved his hand at him.

Wakko shook his head no, then sat back against the crate, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

_Thought so. _

Yakko, still holding Dot on his lap, counted to three and threw the rock as hard as he could over the driver's side railing, striking something. The toon and human didn't even turn at the sound.

_Damn. Gotta come up with something different. _

Dot solved the problem for him.

"Yakko, those men didn't hear it - do it again!"

Yakko put his hand over her mouth too late, while Wakko slapped his hands over his face.

The men heard that. Their conversation broke off and they both started saying they heard voices in the truck. They began to pull the tailgate down and began to pull out boxes and crates.

_Drat._

"Now what?" Wakko asked.

Dot ducked her head as Yakko gave her another look and said, "Well we're-"

"There they are - it's three pint sized hitchhikers!"

"-spotted," he finished.

"Wha…couple of toon kids," the human said, starting to move crates to get at them.

"Eh, what's up doc…workers?" Yakko asked nervously. He pulled Dot closer to him as he felt his muscles tense, getting ready to spring into action…which meant running like hell.

Wakko jumped in, crawling toward the two men. "Hey mister," he said, addressing the toon. "You got any candy? I'm really hungry!"

"No I don't have any candy you brat!" he exclaimed, making a grab for him.

Wakko slid back away from him quickly. "Jeeze, don't get mad - you're pretty big, I figured you'd have something handy-"

"Why you rotten little-"

The toon started to climb in the truck after him as Yakko snatched at Wakko's collar and Dot started laughing.

"Maybe not the time for candy Wakko."

"Always time for candy," Wakko said, ducking the toon's arm as he made a grab for him.

Yakko clutched Dot and followed Wakko as he jumped up on a crate. The toon jumped up on another one and began to follow them. They jumped to another one, trying to stay out of the way. The human was still trying to unload the crates of mallets to reach them, yelling at them.

"Yakko, I don't think these men like us," Dot said.

"Good call Dot," Yakko replied. "Wakko, follow my lead."

Yakko jumped off the crate onto the human's head, then jumped to the ground as the man made a grab for him. He began to run around, staying out of the man's way as he yelled at Wakko, who was watching the toon climb up on the crate next to him.

"Wakko get your butt moving now!"

"OK."

_He's really calm._

Wakko waited a second, then jumped to another crate, kicking the crate he had been on into the toon's current crate with enough force to send him flying down to the bed of the truck. That crate broke open, sending mallets flying all over the truck, some spilling on the ground.

Wakko then jumped to the tailgate, balanced on his toes, then jumped to the ground.

"Faboo! Hey Yakko, does that count as my first mallet fight? Those boxes are full of-"

Yakko cut him off as he ran past him, grabbing his arm as he did so and carrying him too. Yakko looked behind him quickly - the human was still on him, making a grab for his tail, while the toon was trying to dig himself out from the mallet pile he was currently in.

"Yakko - can I keep one of those?" Wakko asked, trying to wiggle out of Yakko's arm.

"No," Yakko panted. He looked behind him - the human was still on him.

_Time for some toonspeed. _

Yakko concentrated, feeling the basics of his Chucking abilities kicking in as his legs began to move so fast they blurred to anyone watching. He heard Wakko and Dot begin to laugh in his ears, then the wind sucked the sounds away, and all he could hear was the whirling of his own legs and the deep sucking sounds as he tried to choke in as much air as he could.

He ran as far as he could with the toonspeed, then began to slow as he tired. He checked behind him and didn't see the toon or human. He ducked between two warehouses, running toward a pile of crates to hide behind.

Amazingly, they had managed not to be spotted by any workers. The day's events had worn on him too much; he wouldn't be able to go much more without taking a break.

Depositing Wakko and Dot on the ground, he leaned back on the building, panting heavily. Everything hurt; chest, legs, head…

He slumped to the ground as Wakko and Dot stepped over to sit beside him.

"You OK Yakko?" Wakko asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, fine kiddo…need to rest for a second." He leaned his head back against the wall for a moment.

"Yakko, maybe you should sleep - me and Wakko can keep watch," Dot said.

Yakko, who was trying to fight sleep, shook his head. "No, I'm OK - we need to get out of here, find some place safe."

"And find food," Wakko added.

Yakko sighed. "Yeah, that too."

_Wakko's always hungry…been getting worse lately. Must be because he's growing…_

"Let's see about sneaking off the port property. We can probably find something to eat out there and a place to rest."

"I'll check to see if anyone's out there," Wakko said, and headed to the end of the building, leaning out to look. He turned back to look at Yakko, gesturing his hand - the coast was clear.

So tired his eyes were burning, Yakko used his tail to push himself off the ground. Taking Dot's hand, he caught up with his brother before he took off out of sight.

"Stay down Wak," Yakko whispered. "Stick to the shadows. I want to get out of here without getting in a knock down mallet fight with someone."

"OK."

Wakko hid behind some crates as Yakko came up behind him to look around.

They were getting near the entrance that they had come through - even now he could see trucks lined up to enter the port.

"Port security is distracted looking at the cargo in a trailer," Yakko muttered, mostly to himself. "We might be able to get out on the far side, avoid all the guards-"

"How about over there?" Dot asked, pointing. "People are leaving through there."

Yakko looked to where she was indicating. There was a door in the fence where employees were entering and exiting to the parking lot, with no security check.

_Moron - totally missed it._

"Good eye Dot."

_I'm way too tired for this._

Sighing, he led them to the fence, waiting as a group of workers went through and disappeared into the lot. After a minute of seeing no one else, he gestured to Wakko to follow, and they went through as well.

First, find food for them. He still had some money, and with a port around, there had to be food places open twenty-four hours around here. Then, find someplace to rest. He was so tired he was almost staggering.

Afterwards, when he rested and his mind was clearer, he would have to figure out what they were going to do next.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks after landing in Long Beach, Yakko made the decision that they needed to leave…quickly. This place was rattier than Plympton, if that was possible.

He studied the map in front of him of California. It was early March…he couldn't bring them out of the Los Angeles/Burbank area, not yet. Orange County was far enough. Dot was due to get her gloves in November…only eight months left of toddler hood for her.

His eyes left the map to look at her briefly, in the half light of the abandoned gas station he had broken into, malleting a hole in the boarded up back door. From the state of the building, it had been abandoned long ago, given over first to the locals as a place to vandalize and shoot up, then being discarded by them to the rats and roaches and whatever else could crawl in.

Dot was currently curled up on the floor, using his left leg as a pillow, sleeping soundly. He was glad she was; he hadn't slept well since the first night when, upon leaving the port, he had found a cheap pizza place to get them all something to eat. Afterwards, he had led them out and found a lot full of container trailers being stored about four blocks down the road.

It wasn't luxurious, but it was hidden and didn't appear to be harboring any other squatters besides them. He had curled up near the back wheels of a container that probably hadn't moved since he was born, and with Wakko and Dot beside him, had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When he had woken up, twelve hours later, it was daylight. Wakko was up, a pipe that weighed as much as he did beside him. He was playing his harmonica while Dot was making up words to a song and dancing. Wakko had stated that he had found the pipe and was going to use it to protect them if anything happened until Yakko woke up.

Appreciating the sentiment, Yakko didn't bother to point out that though he may have been able to drag it over to where they were, he wasn't going to be able to actually swing it at any potential attackers.

They had wandered around the area, he and Wakko picking a few pockets as they went to get money to eat, all while avoiding most of the gangs, police, and curious locals - there weren't any toons around besides the ones driving trucks to the port. They weren't exactly blending in.

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose; other than Burbank and certain sections of Los Angeles, most places didn't have a lot of toons. Sure, some left for other areas of the country to sight see or film on location if they were actors, but most all toons lived in ToonTown. It was the same around the world - other countries, after seeing the peaceful integration of ToonTown within the United States had designated their own places for their counties toons.

Straying too far away from Los Angeles, at least right now, wouldn't be smart.  
Staying in the area would be the wisest course of action; they could blend in with the other toons, they would be in an area where he could get Dot's gloves when the time came-

He broke off on his thought by Wakko's small yelp, and he looked down to him.

Wakko was also asleep; using his right leg as a pillow. Yakko sighed; they would also be in the area to get Wakko's mallet - he was almost at the point where it would be time. His pies were looking better; the colors were looking closer to correct and they were starting to hold the form of a pie rather than a puddle of slush. Of course they started to disappear within seconds, but that would come with time and experience.

Yakko would continue to teach him what he knew, but at a certain point, his own knowledge would run out. There was no hope of finding a tutor on the streets and continuing their education in Toon Theory, or even the basics for that matter. He decided to be grateful for the education he did have, and that he would be able to pass down what he knew to his siblings - something was indeed better than nothing.

Yakko tried to stretch his legs a bit; they were getting cramped with Wakko and Dot's heads on them. He leaned back against the old counter, hoping it didn't collapse on him, and picked up the map. He studied it again, trying to find a location that was close enough to the main center of toon activity, but far enough away that TIS and the authorities would not get wind of them and come looking.

Finger on the port's location, he then placed another finger on Burbank and began to look at the surrounding areas. San Bernardino, Santa Ana, Pasadena, Glendale, Inglewood…Lots of places close to hide in that wouldn't raise an eyebrow at seeing a trio of toons walking down the street.

They could go explore these areas for awhile, and slowly make their way back to Burbank, so when the time came they would be in the area where all the toon shops were to get the mallet and the gloves. Looking at the map, buses and trains ran all over the area; transportation would be no problem.

After that…well…he'd figure it out as he went along.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 1992

"Damn it, I said get down!"

Yakko yanked Wakko and Dot out of the booth and threw them to the floor of the deli, spilling soda, chips and sandwiches onto all of them. He threw himself on top of his siblings just as the brick came crashing in through the front window, showering all of them with glass.

Ignoring Wakko and Dot's screams and protests, he picked both of them up and shoved them under the table, crawling under with them.

The television continued to blare the latest news as other panicked patrons of the deli and liquor store began to shout and cry out, running behind the counter or diving under tables, spilling food and bottles and magazine and candy racks in the panicked fray. Many people ran out the front door, which Yakko thought was stupid – if the bricks and screaming masses were that way, why run into them?

"Yakko," Dot wailed, "I'm not hungry anymore!"

"Lost my appetite too Dot-"

The rest of his reply was cut off as another brick came through the window, and more screaming was heard in the deli as a man was hit with the brick, knocking him to the floor. Another brick came through the window, showering Yakko's back with glass.

He shoved Wakko and Dot's heads down as the glass flew in. He heard the other customers and the employees screaming and cursing as they tried to stay out of the path of the flying rocks, bricks, and glass.

"Yakko, what's wrong with these people?" Wakko yelled, trying to crawl out from under the table to look.

Yakko jerked him back, keeping him down.

"I'll explain it to you when you're a little older, and we're a lot safer. Right now, stay down so I can think."

People had gone crazy over some jury verdict and were taking it out on everything in their path, whether it was police officers, buildings, businesses, other people…

Yakko heard the crowd's chants and yelling growing louder. Other sounds filtered toward him; screams, the honking of car horns as traffic slowed to a crawl, along with the sounds of a car accident. In the distance, he could hear sirens; police, fire and rescue. The sirens were coming closer though.

Daring to sneak a peek, he crawled out from under the table and glanced up, looking out the jagged holes in the plate glass window of the eatery. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of people were crowding the intersection of Florence and Normandie Avenues. They'd never get out of there.

He had pulled Wakko and Dot into the deli as the crowd had started to gather hours ago, making it difficult to get through, especially after he saw a driver get dragged from the cab of his truck. He had got his siblings out of the general area, not wanting them to see anymore. They were frightened enough.

Between seeing that and picking up the general feeling of the crowd, he figured it wouldn't be safe to continue on, and decided to stay in the deli, get everyone dinner, and wait for the police to cool all the hotheads down.

Next time, he would continue on; the police had abandoned the area.

Probably more frightened then he had ever been, Yakko looked around behind him, his eyes meeting the eyes of a terrified woman hiding behind the deli counter. Seeing him, she gave a quick wave for him to come over; they were the last ones still hidden under tables. Yakko nodded and looked down at Wakko and Dot.

"Guys, we have to move. Start crawling toward the counter where that lady is."

He slid out from under the table so his siblings could crawl out, giving Dot a smack on her rear and yanking her back down when she stood up to try to look out the window of the door.

"I said stay down!"

Grumbling and giving him a nasty look, she got back down and crawled toward the counter, Wakko directly behind her. Yakko brought up the rear, sloushing through spilled drinks, broken bottles and window glass and smashed sandwiches.

Finally making it behind the counter, he held Wakko and Dot as he looked at the people crowded behind the counter, crouching down in spilled cleaning solutions, glass, and scattered meat and cheese. A young woman was sobbing quietly while holding a bundle of paper towels to her face, blood slowly seeping through. Another lady was clutching a baby to her chest, trying to sooth the child. A man was drinking from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Yakko thought he must have been drinking for quite a while; he looked pretty calm about the whole ordeal. One other man, probably the manger, was trying to count the money in the cash drawer in front of him. Behind him was another man and woman, both praying, while beyond that, a toon pig was huddling down, still eating his sandwich.

"Yakko! Yakko I'm scared," Dot whimpered, burying her face in his chest as she started to cry.

He rubbed her back and murmured, "We'll be OK Dot, all this will be over in a few minutes-"

What he was going to say next was cut off as yet another rock flew through the window, and the sound of gunfire filled the air.

_The crazy bastards outside were shooting? Definitely need to move. _

Yakko looked around, trying not to inhale the smell of fear, sweat, sulfur, and spilled alcohol and cleaning solutions. If the riot didn't kill them, the fumes would.

There was a swinging door on the other side of the counter holding the meat and cheese slicers; probably led to a storage space. He hoped beyond that would be a door leading to an alley or someplace they could escape to.

Yakko gave a small smile at the woman who had waved them over, a tall, pretty, dark skinned girl with corn rows, wearing jeans and a green smock over her now stained white t-shirt. She was young too - probably twenty-two or so-he shook his head; not the time to contemplate girls, even if he had noticed himself looking a bit more lately.

"I'm going to go check the back, OK? Look for a door out-"

"Door's locked little toon boy," she interrupted, yelling to be heard over all the noise. "Have to wait the crowd out. Owner keeps the back door locked when not getting deliveries – too much crime lately - got robbed last week when someone-"

"Lock's not gonna be a problem," he yelled back. "I'll get through."

"Tom's gonna be pissed if you cut that chain-"

Almost laughing, he waved his arms toward the front of the deli. "After all this, he's gonna be pissed about replacing a ten dollar chain? Tell him to send me a bill."

He turned to Wakko and Dot.

"Guys, I'm heading back; stay here until I come for you, capishe?" Dot clung to him tighter. "I'll be right back - here, hold on to Wakko for a few."

"No! He smells like pastrami," Dot sobbed as an indignant Wakko stuck his tongue out at her.

"Don't be mad Wak - you do smell like pastrami. Here," he said, pulling Dot's hands from his shirt and planting them on Wakko's jacket instead. "Look, I'll be back in a few - I have to find a way out of here without going through the crowd. Promise I'll be back in a minute."

Wakko looked like he was about to cry, but put his arms around Dot. "Let Yakko go look - we'll stay here uh, and, uh….look at the magazines," he finished, pointing to several spilled periodicals beside Yakko.

Yakko, shooting him a grateful smile, picked up several, wiping them off as best he could and looking at them.

_High Times, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Hustler, Elle, Big Booty Monthly…_

Yakko tossed the _High Times _and porn magazines over the counter and handed him the fashion magazines. Wakko probably wouldn't be interested in them, but he wasn't going to search for a car magazine for him right now - he could make do.

Wakko made a grimace at the magazines, but dutifully opened them and started looking at the pictures with Dot.

Thankful that for once both of them looked like they were actually going to obey, he gave them one final look, hoping they would be OK. He glanced around at the humans who were now watching him with a mixture of terror, curiosity, and amusement. All of them looked OK other than the man steadily putting a hurting on the bottle of Jack Daniels; that guy made him nervous.

Turning, he began to quickly make his way toward the door, walking hunched over in an attempt to stay out of the direct path of any bullets, bricks, or the direct eyesight of any of the 'outraged civilians' shouting their protest and anger outside in the streets.

Going through the door, he looked around; it was a storage area. He could hear the crowd outside, dulled by the thick walls of the back room. He reached to his hammerspace and pulled his mallet, gaining some much needed courage from feeling the hard wooden handle hitting his fist.

Suitably armed, he studied the area before going in any further. Hardly a storage room; more like a storage corridor. It was simply a long thin hallway in reality.

Metal shelves were lined along the wall to the left, stocked with plastic containers, economy size cans and bottles of everything from ketchup and mustard to olive oil and mayonnaise. Loaves of bread and bags of rolls were piled up on the upper shelves. Behind a gate, secured with a very large padlock was the liquor stock.

On the right wall was a walk in refrigerator. And on the back wall was the rear door, a little square window in it showing the last rays of light of the sun shining through.

Yakko ran back there, looking at the large chain and padlock holding the door closed; one end looped around the door handlebar, the other around the metal rod making up the liquor holding gate. He may not be able to cut the chain…but he could mallet the hell out of the door and knock it down. He tried to look out the window, but it was so encrusted with filth he couldn't see much.

Mallet in the ready position, he inhaled and swung, not Chucking the mallet, and watched in satisfaction as the handlebar of the door broke, and the chain fell to the floor with a noisy rattle.

He pushed what remained of the door handle down, swinging the door outward. Hesitantly sticking his head outside, he was looking out into an alley. One end opened out to where the riot was, he eyed the crowed in the dusk, able to make out some words here and there; they didn't appear to be calming down any. The other end of the alley seemed to open to a street with considerably less pedestrian traffic on it, but still seemed to hold rioters.

That was the only way out; they couldn't stay in the deli, and he didn't want to lead them into the heart of the riot.

He turned and went back to the front, dropping to the floor before opening the door to the main portion of the store.

Hearing gunfire again above the other normal riot noises, he crawled to where Wakko and Dot were huddling together, Dot's face was hidden inside Wakko's coat, but he could still hear her wailing. Wakko turned terrified eyes to look at him as he came through the door. Seeing him, he saw Wakko's face struggle between still looking scared or looking relieved.

"Come on," he said, gathering them for a quick hug before pushing them in front of him toward the door. "We're getting out the back." He turned to look at the others, who were still huddling down. "The back is open now - if you want to leave, that's the best way. The other street doesn't have quite as many rowdy friends on it."

He listened to the people debate among themselves. The girl who was kind enough to share the hiding space with them was for leaving, as was the lady with the baby and the other woman with the bloody face. The couple praying didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken.

The toon pig seemed interested in leaving. He was so interested in fact that he didn't even speak, just crawled past all of them and headed out the back door without a backwards glance.

The manager and the man drinking the alcohol wanted to ride the riot out, stating that police would soon have this under control. Yakko noticed that he had finished the bottle of Jack Daniels and was working on a bottle of some sort of rum.

Exasperated, Yakko finally said, "Look, the opportunity's there if you want to try to leave. You want to stick around to see what else comes through that window, be my guest. We're getting out of here."

Yakko picked up Dot, who buried her face into his neck. With a final backwards glance at the group he headed out the door, telling Wakko to stay low.

"Wait! Wait please! Hey toons!"

Yakko turned to see the deli worker, the lady with the bloody face, and the lady with the baby following him into the storage section.

"We're leaving too," the deli worker said. "Not much sense staying up there."

Yakko shrugged. "More the merrier."

The deli worker snorted. "Lead the way Magellan - you said one of the ways out didn't have as many pissed off people?"

Yakko gestured. "To the right had less people. We plan on trying to head that way, hop a bus out of here."

"Better than me; I live near 68th Street."

"I have to get to the hospital," the bloody woman said.

"I have to get home; my husband is waiting for us," the lady with the baby stated. "We're only a couple blocks away; there's a bus stop by the house I know-"

"Fine, fine," Yakko said, already sticking his head out the door, trying to hear if anything had moved into the alley. He could hear a helicopter overhead; he looked up, not able to tell if it was police or a news crew. He hoped for police - he did not want to top this perfect day by being noticed on the news as the only toons in the middle of a race riot. TIS would be all over them.

He turned back to the women as they all watched him, tense and anxious. Apparently they expected him to escort them all home. He didn't want to leave them, but at the same time, his responsibility was to Wakko and Dot, and he certainly wasn't leaving them in danger longer than he had to.

Yakko led them out into the alley, and looked at the street he had said had less people, Raymond Street. That street was starting to swirl with people, many of them cutting through the alley to get to the intersection of Florence and Normandie Avenues, where the main action was.

He quickly grabbed Wakko's hand when he tried to wander ahead of them; he tried to pull away, but Yakko held firm. He knew Wakko thought he was too old to have his hand held, but he'd be damned if he was letting it go and taking a chance of Wakko getting pulled away from him in the crowd.

As he led the oddball group up the alley, to the main street, he started to pick up snatches of conversations; about fires, other protests that would be happening in the coming days, police brutality, the buses had stopped running for now, Rodney King...

Yakko was getting worried; if the busses had stopped running, they'd never get out of there.

"Sherri! Sherri! Over here!"

The entire group turned as a dark man with a beard started waving to them from across the street, jumping up in the air to be seen over the crowd and cupping his hands around his face to be heard.

"Sherri! Stay there, I'll come to you!"

Yakko looked around, and saw the woman with the baby wave back as the man began to fight his way through the throng of protesters.

"My husband Jim," she yelled at them, as everyone nodded.

_Well, at least she'll be OK. _

Jim ran to her, embracing her and taking the now screaming baby.

"Crowds gathering all over," Jim said, addressing all of them. "Better get off the street-"

"We're trying to – this little toon kid got us out of the deli," Sherri shouted to him.

"Good man!" Jim said, slapping Yakko on the back with enough force he almost dropped Dot. "Head north up Raymond – it's your best bet!"

With that, he grabbed Sherri's arm and began to weave his way through the crowd, disappearing almost instantly.

"I live north," the deli girl said.

"I'm to the east," the bloody faced woman said. "I'm going that way; get home and have a friend take me somewhere to stitch this up," she said, holding the towels down from her face long enough for all of them to see the gash in her cheek. Dot looked, gasped, and shoved her face back into Yakko's neck while he and Wakko stared at it in horrified fascination.

_Definitely gonna leave a mark..._

Yakko was about to protest, saying that she should probably stay with them until this started to calm down, but she disappeared before he could get the words out.

Deli girl lived north; Jim said that north was the best direction to head. He'd escort her home, and see if the busses were running farther up the street so they could hop one and get the hell out of there.

Yakko started to pull his mallet, then realized that in the sea of humanity, not only was it likely he'd panic and Chuck it wrong, seriously injuring someone, he could swing and hit one of his siblings. Holding his mallet would also entail letting go of Wakko's hand. Plus, a weapon like that would attract attention to them-

"Let's go, I'm about six blocks from here," deli girl said, interrupting his planning. "Name's Tamia by the way."

Trying to keep up with her as she pushed her way through people, he tried to answer her, but was cut off when Wakko's hand was pulled from his in the teaming mass of humanity.

He lost sight of him almost instantly, seeing Wakko knocked to the ground before he disappeared in a wave of legs and fists. Yakko felt a surge of panic and fear as he dove through the crowd, clutching Dot and screaming for his brother.

People pushed and pulled at him in all directions, tearing at his fur and ears, and he almost lost his grip on Dot, who was so petrified that she couldn't even cry.

He suddenly felt a hand grab his collar, half carrying, half dragging him and Dot backwards to a thinner part of the crowd.

The sound of something exploding filled his ears, and he struggled to turn around, intending the mallet whoever was holding him. He looked up, spotting Tamia holding his shirt collar, able to make out the fear in her face. He looked behind her; a car had been torched, and a group of people were around it, dancing like it was a bonfire at some pagan ritual.

Still yanking on his collar and nearly choking him, Tamia continued to pull him along with her through the crowd of people. Not only was she a welcome sight, something somewhat sane in an insane world, but she was holding Wakko in her left arm. With his head on her shoulder, he gave Yakko a small tired wave.

Yakko felt a surge of relief at seeing him, but immediately felt worry replace the feeling when he saw dark red on Wakko's face, staining his white face fur. Blink, not blood - blood was more ruby; blink was darker, like maroon.

Looking at Tamia's, he noticed some red smears on her as well, but was unable to differentiate the color difference in the glow of the streetlights and fires that were being set around them.

Wondering which one was hurt, or if it was both of them, he struggled to right himself so he could at least try to run and push beside her, finally regaining his footing as they continued down the block. They had already gone about four blocks, pushing and clawing their way through the growing increasingly more violent crowd.

Dot looked up from his shirt, saw Wakko, and started crying harder, sobbing into his chest.

Yakko watched as several men in front of them began to vandalize a store, smashing the glass in with bricks before throwing in a Molotov Cocktail. There was a very small explosion sound before flames began to shoot out the opening. Feeling the heat even before they approached the store, Yakko jerked Tamia out closer to the street, wanting to get out of there.

He was suddenly knocked to the asphalt as a man pushed into Tamia. He used his arms to cradle Dot's head, but missed grabbing her body. Glancing down before he picked her up again he noticed she scraped both her knees.

Since that was nowhere near as life threatening as what was currently taking place around them, he ignored her screams and his own blink running down his scraped elbows as he struggled to get up before he was trampled.

Tamia hadn't dropped Wakko when she was struck, and she screamed at him to hurry the hell up, telling him that they were only a few blocks from her place.

They continued on this way for the next few blocks, trying to stay out of the way of angry mobs, police officers waving batons and shooting pepper spray, and hoping every time they heard a gunshot it wasn't aimed at them as the mob began to swell.

Dot, terrified, was screaming and striking out at people around him; he saw her little white feet kicking into the ribs of anyone in their path. She was pretty effective - like a little battering ram, clearing out anyone who dared to get in their way.

Finally, at long last, they arrived at a brick apartment building that reminded him a lot of their old home back in Plympton. Happy that he had been able to escort her home and he did do his gentlemanly duty, he reached for Wakko, wanting to check on his injuries and Dot's before trying to escape from LA. Even a few blocks away, a small portion of the crowd was in this area, disrupting the night with yells, chants, and the occasional burst of gunfire.

Tamia shook her head. "I got him - get your asses in before we get shot!"

She ran up the short staircase, opening a glass door that had a large crack in it. Yakko followed her, not liking the idea of going in a stranger's home, but also not liking the idea of staying out on the streets right now.

The door slammed behind him as he entered a short hallway, two doors to his left and right, with a few rows of battered brass mailboxes lining the wall.

Tamia was halfway up the first flight of stairs, Wakko leaning over her shoulder to look down at them.

Meeting his eyes, Yakko quickly began climbing the stairs. Dot was sobbing in his ear about her toes hurting.

Tamia was on the second floor landing now, pulling a key out of her jeans pocket with a shaking hand. Putting it in the lock, she turned and began pushing on the door.

"Damn thing sticks," she muttered to him.

The door was yanked open from the inside, revealing another girl. Yakko stared at her for a second in surprise; long blond hair done up in tiny braids, caramel colored skin, about Tamia's age, wearing only a short white nightshirt and a frightened look. Yakko surmised that it must be her roommate.

_Nice legs though…really long-_

"Damn it Tamia, where've you been? Been scared shitless sitting here-"

"You? Girl - you should have seen what we just went through!"

As they entered the apartment and she began to fill her friend in on what happened, Yakko put Dot on the threadbare blue couch by the door. He glanced at the small television on the floor as Tamia put Wakko on the couch beside Dot and followed her roommate out of the room, heading down a dimly lit hallway.

Yakko began to check his siblings for injuries, dismissing the two girls from his mind.

Wakko had got a cut on his head; the cut still slowly seeping out the dark blink onto his face and dripping onto his shirt. He had a couple of bumps and bruises, scraped knees - nothing serious - but no doubt painful and needing to be cleaned. Wakko looked up at him with big mournful eyes, trying to not let the tears building up escape.

Dot had a set of scraped knees; he could still see them oozing blink, the droplets glistening on her dark fur. She was still sniffing, trying to blink back tears as he began to check her.

He pulled out the first aid kit from his hammerspace and looked in it. He had some bandages and antiseptic cream; he should have remembered to stock it up. He hadn't, and now look - almost out of-

"Here ya go toon."

He looked up as Tamia came back into the room, carrying a few wet towels, a box of bandages, and some ointments and creams.

"See if you can use any of these on the kiddies. Might want to check yourself out too, you don't look so good."

"Thanks," Yakko said, taking the proffered goods. They were better stocked up than he was.

"You three can stay here if you want for the night - getting worse out there from the looks of it," she said, watching the tv.

Wakko and Dot had been staring at the television the entire time they were in the apartment and not saying a word.

"I'm taking a shower," Tamia announced. "Rochelle's in her room with a friend," she added with a little smirk. "You guys can stay out here, take a shower if you want."

With that, Tamia turned and left the room again, giving Yakko a wave at his 'thanks'.

Wakko and Dot turned from the images on the television to look at him, and he sighed, knowing what was coming next - the inevitable barrage of questions. He just didn't know how to explain it to them.

"Why are people doing this Yakko?" Dot asked quietly, looking confused and upset.

He looked first at Dot, then Wakko.

"People are upset over the way a trial ended," he started slowly. Racism was a confusing subject for someone a little older; explaining it to a four year old, even a sharp four year old, was going to be difficult.

Trying to phrase it in simple enough terms for her to understand, he said, " some police officers beat a man, a black man, very badly-"

"Why?"

"He didn't stop when they tried to pull him over."

"Why?"

"He was probably scared."

"The police are bad, aren't they?" Wakko asked, wincing as Yakko began to clean the cut on his forehead.

"Not all police are bad Wak. Not all toons are bad, right? Same with humans - there's a few bad ones here and there."

"But we stay away from the police," Dot said.

"For an entirely different reason though Dot," he continued, trying to bandage Wakko's head without pulling half his fur off.

"But Yakko-"

Dot was cut off by Wakko, who pointed to the television. It was showing the deli at the intersection they had just escaped from, and the crowd outside. It then showed the man being pulled from the truck before going to an anchor talking to people on the street.

Even after all the craziness, Yakko breathed a sigh of relief; they had not been caught on the cameras.

They watched for awhile longer as Yakko continued to bandage them up. When his siblings were treated, he turned to his own scrapes, thankful that everyone's injures were fairly minor.

"I'm confused," Wakko said.

"What a shock," Dot muttered sleepily.

Wakko gave her a nasty look, but continued. "If they're mad about what happened, the police getting away - how come they're setting fire to where they live at?"

Yakko looked at him for a second, just blinking. It was actually a good question; he was surprised he hadn't thought of it.

"Honestly Wakko, I don't know." Seeing Wakko's face, he decided to try to explain. "It's crowd mentality - a few people get mad, then a few more feed off that anger, then a few more…it just grows and grows outward until lots of people are mad, and they forget themselves. They want to show their anger, and sometimes, people don't think and just take it out on whoever or whatever's handy."

Yakko paused; he'd just described their father.

"Oh."

Yakko looked over at Dot; she had fallen asleep sitting up on the couch, leaning on the arm. Wakko was sitting beside her on the middle cushion, blinking at him drowsily. Yakko looked at the time; it was after all their bedtimes.

Tamia had come out awhile ago with a few blankets for them, and he spread them out on the floor, still not entirely comfortable sleeping in a stranger's apartment, and hating to impose on her, Roschelle, and her friend. It was better than the bridge they had been sleeping under though. Hopefully things would be calmer in the morning and they could continue on their way.

XXXXXXXXXX

"We appreciate it Tamia. You too Roschelle," Yakko added, not wanting to exclude the other girl - it was her apartment too.

"No problem toonboy; wish you'd stay though," Tamia said.

"This shit ain't calming down," Roschelle added. "You three are gonna have problems getting to a bus stop since half the damn things ain't running."

"We'll be alright; it's starting to calm down around here a bit. If we can get further north, we'll be able to get to a bus out of here."

"Well, we'll miss you," Tamia said.

"You'll miss having someone to cook and do dishes," Yakko said, smirking.

Tamia threw her head back and laughed, showing off her even pearly white teeth. "That too - didn't even know toons knew how to cook. Thought you just pulled it out of your…whatever you called it. Magic pocket or some crap."

Yakko laughed. "Hammerspace. And we can't pull real food, remember? It just disappears; it's like eating air - you eat it you'll be hungry again in an hour-"

"Like eating Chinese food!" Wakko added from the doorway.

Yakko chuckled. "Yeah, something like that."

Yakko walked toward the two girls and awkwardly stuck his hand out. They had been kind enough to let them crash for three days there, allowing them to rest up, take showers, and generally forget for a few days they were not only wanted runaways, they were stuck in the middle of one of the biggest and longest running riots in the nation's history. He didn't want to impose on them any longer.

Luckily the girls hadn't pushed for any information on them; he would've hated to lie to them. Other than their names and a lot of information on toons and TownTown, they hadn't been much interested in hearing about anything else.

They had both been fascinated by Toon Theory and just about raped his mind asking question after question. Most toons didn't ask that many questions.

All in all though, Tamia said it was awesome having a cartoon going on every minute in her living room and encouraged Wakko and Dot to make as much mischief as possible.

They were OK girls though. Other than teaching Wakko a few ways to win over girls and Dot more than a few questionable ways to woo guys, they seemed like they were mostly out to go to college, meet men, and in general have a good time and enjoy life and their first few years away from their parents.

Not necessarily in that order.

He wanted to get out of L.A. for awhile - after checking his map last night, he had decided to head to Anaheim for a bit. They would be safe there.

Tamia and Roschelle each gave Wakko and Dot a hug good-bye. They reminded Wakko that girls weren't impressed with the lengthy burping and he should stick to playing his harmonica for them; girls like to be serenaded, especially by bad boys like him. They then reminded Dot of exactly how cute she was, a girl always had to look good, and that she should go out of her way to wrap as many men as she could around her itty-bitty finger.

Yakko closed his eyes at their advice to Dot; if he could help it, she wouldn't be trying to wrap any men around any of her little digits until she was about thirty.

At least.

Tamia looked at his hand before snorting and grabbing him for a big hug, crushing him to her chest. He could feel himself start to blush as she let him go.

Before he could recover, it was Rochelle's turn. He blushed a bit deeper, hoping the girl hadn't noticed that he got slightly tongue tied every time she spoke to him.

Rochelle told Tamia that she didn't know how to give a proper goodbye, then grabbed his face with both hands, pulling him in for a kiss.

Yakko, surprised, almost performed another Chucking maneuver; melting into a pool of goo on the floor. He ignored Wakko and Dot's giggling behind him and managed to not stagger backwards as he felt himself blush even deeper. Not wanting to make a complete and utter ass out of himself, he pursed his lips, trying to act like he knew what he was doing as she let him go, giggling and telling him what a cutie he was.

Croaking out a 'bye' and another 'thank you' to them, he pushed his snickering siblings out the door as they quietly chanted 'Yakko and Roschelle sitting in a tree…'

Yakko, still reeling from the events of the past few minutes, picked up Dot and took Wakko's hand. The streets were slightly more calm than before, but he wasn't taking any chances.

As they walked, he contemplated what had just happened as he continued to ignore Wakko and Dot's questions and laughs. Then Wakko started making kissy noises at him, making Dot laugh.

Yakko turned to look down at him, giving him a glare which he laughed at.

"Just wait little brother…one day, you'll get your first kiss and guess who'll be laughing then?"

"Me!" Dot exclaimed. "You can't, because you're mouth will be too full of tongue!"

Yakko almost dropped her. "Dorothy Warner! My tongue was not in her mouth!"

At the same time, Wakko threw his head back and laughed, saying, "Yeah - and I'm not kissing a girl-"

"Hope you don't start kissing boys - that's a whole different conversation I'll have to have with you-" Yakko muttered.

"Gross Yakko! I'm not kissing anything!"

Yakko smirked at his younger brother. "Sure. Tell me that again in about four years."

As Dot turned her attention to teasing Wakko, who was decidedly grumpier now that the tables were turned on him, Yakko went back to thinking.

It had been a crazy couple of days. But that didn't matter; he just had his first kiss from a girl. Who cared if she smelled like pumpernickel and olive loaf?

He had a feeling he was gonna be a guy who liked leggy blonds.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 1992

_Sometimes, just sometimes, this isn't so bad_, he thought, grinning as he watched a blond human toon walk past him wearing a barely there aquamarine bikini.

He grinned even wider when her equally endowed friend, a curvy white furred cat with platinum hair, embraced her and they both went off toward one of the snack shacks scattered around to get something to eat.

_Be they human or toon, blonds were more fun._

Yakko, resting back on his elbows, stretched his legs out on the towel and turned to watch his siblings playing in the surf. Overhead, a jet passed them, so close he could make out the silhouettes of the passengers in the windows as they flew to far off places.

Dockweiler Beach was at the end of the runway for Los Angeles International Airport. While extremely noisy, they had all enjoyed their time there. The beach was constantly busy, probably one of the most visited beaches in California.

With it being so close to the airport, that meant plenty of pockets to pick, and plenty of wallets to add to his ever growing collection in his hammerspace. He had started the habit of keeping tab of how much was in each wallet awhile ago. As they got the wallets, he would put a small slip of paper in each one, with the amount and roughly when it was grabbed.

He of course had plenty of wallets from before he kept track. He would have to wager a guess on those wallets.

This was all hypothetical of course; he knew, realistically, that he would never be able to afford to pay anyone back.

_The only way I could afford to pay anyone their money back would be to steal someone else's money_, he chuckled to himself. _So I'd just be repeating the whole vicious cycle again._

He still kept the wallets though.

They had been staying at the beach for the last week. This was the first time they had been back in the area since the riots in April and early May. They had been comfortable here though, breaking into a storage shed for a concession stand at night, and wandering the area during the day. It was probably time to move on though. Staying in one place too long could be dangerous.

He saw Wakko point out the jet to Dot, and she waved at it before they both went back to splashing each other in the water.

Yakko grinned at their antics; they were having a good time and he was getting a rare opportunity to relax. The last six months had been hard on them all; everyone deserved a break.

Yakko fully stretched out on the towel, pulling the cheap sunglasses he had picked up out of the pocket of his red cargo shorts to put on. Curling his arms under his head, he thought about what their next move should be.

They had limited contact with TIS - only five incidents since they had been out on these mean streets. As soon as they were spotted, they were pursued, but had always managed to get away. He was worried that one day, he would slip up and get one or all of them snatched up and hauled away.

He had noticed TIS was still putting up missing and wanted posters, but he had only seen two with their images on them, and he had quietly ripped them down and discarded them in trashcans. If there were two, there was no doubt others.

Yakko sighed; he and Wakko had grabbed another wallet earlier, from a human who was leaving the airport. The poor guy had almost a hundred dollars in there. The guy looked rich; Yakko hoped he was some bigwig at a company or studio. Maybe a hundred dollars was nothing to him; a hundred to them was a fortune.

They could live on that for a long time.

Yakko suddenly got a chilly feeling; that innate sixth sense of his that said he should look up. He had learned to follow his instincts.

He sat up and leaving the glasses on, began to look around. Off toward the right he spotted something; a human police officer was up on the bike path, talking to two toons…

Two human toons in yellow and white jumpsuits.

Yakko groaned.

_Honestly, a runaway's work was never done; couldn't even take one day off…_

Yakko quickly looked around. They didn't appear to have been spotted; the officer nor the toons seemed to be paying any attention to anyone on the beach.

But they may glance over, and there wasn't many toons on the beach; a few ducks, an octopus toon, a couple of mice and assorted birds, and a mermaid sunning herself on a rock while singing about something or another, every few minutes getting drowned out by the sound of the jets overhead. …

_Probably better to move. _

He looked over at Wakko and Dot, currently building a sand castle. No sense in panicking them. He had to stay calm himself, even though the officer and TIS were only about thirty feet away…

Still trying to keep one eye on them, he pulled his new map out. Being constantly on the move the last six months, he had decided to upgrade the cheap map he had originally bought when they had landed in Long Beach and bought the deluxe Rand-McNally map of California.

Placing his finger on their current location - Dockweiler Beach, he began to look at the surrounding areas.

He began tracing routes, trying to look at areas while matching up those areas to the bus schedule. It was early August; Wakko's pies were looking much better, pretty much on form and mostly the correct color now…it was time for him to get his mallet.

_Burbank it is._

That's where all the good toon shops are at. And everyone toon knew the best place to buy your mallet was at Crusher's Emporium. He looked for it on the map, then flipped to the back of the free tour guide he had picked up - Crusher's Emporium was located on West Victory Boulevard.

He nodded to himself, happy to have a plan: find a place to stay at for awhile in Burbank, grab Wakko's mallet, explore for a bit, then move on. Hell, it really would be like hiding under TIS' nose. Hopefully mallets weren't too expensive; he wasn't sure what the going rate for a mallet was…

He gave a small wry smile and shrugged. He was a pickpocket. If need be, he would lift an additional wallet to pay for the mallet. He was not going to let either of his siblings do without their basic toon items. He was already aware that he would have to grab an additional wallet or two for Dot's gloves in November.

_Besides, at this point, what was one more?_

Not liking his nonchalant attitude, but unsure what else he could do about it, he looked around. Wakko and Dot were still playing, officer and TIS employees still chatting.

The beach was crowded. They could sneak off without attracting attention.

He stood up, grabbing the towel and his black t-shirt, which he quickly threw on. Grabbing Wakko and Dot's clothing, he made his way to them, weaving his way in and out of the crowds.

They both looked up as he reached them.

"Time to pack up and go guys."

Dot looked up from the sandcastle. "But Yakko-"

"We need to move on Dot."

"Why, I like it here-"

"Because I said so."

Dot shot her most winning smile at him - the type of smile that usually melted whatever plan he had at the moment and made him cave in to her every whim.

_Can't let that happen this time,_ he thought to himself, irritated. _She always pulls this. _

Casting a quick glance over his shoulder to watch the TIS goons and the officer, who were still chatting, he said, "Look, you promised that if I took you out here, you'd leave when I said - we've been here a couple of hours - you stay any longer your fur's gonna turn red."

_Come on, come on…_

"Oh all right," she frowned.

Wakko looked up at him, and upon seeing his look, reached for his shirt.

"What's wrong Yakko?"

"Nothing Wakko, let's just get going, OK? I've got something planned."

Wakko, thankfully, was satisfied with that, because he grinned and put his shirt on while Yakko put Dot's blue overalls on over her pink swimsuit.

"What's planned?" Dot asked.

"Nothing for you to worry about, not right now anyway."

Yakko picked up Dot and with a nod to Wakko, quickly led them off the beach and away from the still talking authority figures, who hadn't appeared to notice them.

Yakko gave a sigh of relief. He would fight if he had to, but really, better not to attract the attention. Flight was definitely the wiser of the moves he could make.

It was getting wearing though, trying to stay one step ahead of them, always having to look over their shoulders, always ready to run if a cop spotted them…

XXXXXXXXXX

October 1992

Yakko opened his eyes, jerking himself awake and peering into the dark room, slivers of light shining in here and there from the streetlight outside.

Another car backfired. He hated Compton; he could never tell if it was a gun shot or a car backfiring or someone that might be stumbling into the abandoned house they had been staying in for the last week.

He had chased off a human four nights ago, threatening the guy with his mallet. As he swung at the guy, Wakko had stood against the wall behind him with Dot, also holding his own mallet of a dark cherry. He couldn't use it at all, since it was almost as big as he was, and he couldn't learn to Chuck it until he grew enough to hold it in the correct ready position, but the junkie didn't need to know that. He decided he picked the wrong toons to rob and had left the way he came.

If Yakko had been nervous before arriving in Compton, his nervousness had grown daily since then. This was the furthest they had been from LA, and was also probably the most dangerous of the neighborhoods they had stayed in.

Didn't have a choice though; everywhere they had been lately, TIS or the human police had spotted them and tried to pursue. They had been moving every couple of weeks to stay ahead of them.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He checked his watch; 1:15 A.M. He'd slept a grand total of three hours.

Leaning back on his hands he looked down. Dot was sleeping beside him on his left, curled up with Cupcake on the dirty floor using his sweatshirt as a pillow.

Looking to his right, he didn't see Wakko, and immediately he felt an icy fear grip him. He had been beside him when he went to sleep…

He jumped up, feeling his heart starting to beat faster. He heard voices outside - faint - probably on the sidewalk. That was where all the dealers and prostitutes hung out…

_He couldn't have gone out there…he wouldn't dare…_

Yakko crept across the floor with a catlike grace, not making a sound as he looked out the window onto the main street. He could see several humans out there; talking, laughing, exchanging money, smoking…

But no little toon.

_Where did he go - have to find him-_

He turned quickly as he heard the sound of boards moving in what was once the kitchen area of the dilapidated house.

Mouth dry with nerves and fear, he quickly pulled his mallet and swiftly crossed the living room. He released his breath when he saw it was Wakko coming in from the outside and putting the boards back in position.

Creeping up behind him, he put his mallet away - no matter how bad a scare he gave him, he couldn't mallet his brother.

He could, however, beat his butt if he didn't have one hell of an explanation though…

He grabbed Wakko by the scruff of his neck and ignored his yelp of fear, holding him up so that they were nose to nose.

"Oh, hi Yakko," Wakko said, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing who it was.

_He was calm for just getting busted._

"Yeah. Hi. Midnight constitutional?"

Wakko shook his head. "No. Candy."

_Huh? _

"Candy?" Yakko asked suspiciously.

_If he walked the two blocks down the street to the Exxon to get candy… _

"Yeah. Candy. Want some?"

_What was he talking about? _

"Wakko," he said, still staring at him in the half lit kitchen. "Where did you get candy?"

"Out on the street - the candyman was outside - someone was yelling his name and I woke up."

Yakko felt his fur starting to bristle. "Kiddo, I don't think there's anyone out on the street selling candy at one A.M.-"

"There was too!" Wakko uncurled his right fist and showed him several brightly colored pills. "See? He didn't even charge-"

"Wakko," Yakko asked, eyeing the pills before looking back at his brother, "who gave you those?"

_Tell me quickly so I can mallet them straight to China… _

Wakko sighed, sounding exasperated. "I told you, the candy man! He was right outside-"

"That wasn't a candy man," he said, sitting Wakko on the counter and hoping it didn't break. "And give me those!"

Yakko snatched the pills out of his brother's hand as he began to protest.

"Hey! Gimme my Skittles Yak-"

"Quiet Wakko."

With that, he moved the board from the window, the glass having been broken out long ago, and tossed the pills outside. Let one of the neighbored pillheads have them if they wanted them; they would just have to search through four feet of over grown grass and weeds to get them.

He turned back to his brother, who was staring at him from the counter, surprised.

"Whatcha do that for? The candy man's gone, and I-"

"That was not candy!"

Wakko huffed. "They look like candy-"

_To fool dumb little kids._

"-so what were they huh?"

To be honest, Yakko had to admit he had no idea what they were. He wasn't up on his 'street drug' knowledge.

"They're bad for you is what they are! Wakko, I've told you before don't ever take anything from strangers!"

"But-"

"But nothing!"

"I was hungry," he whined. "You were sleeping-"

"I can be woken up! I have a bag of chips still, you could have eaten them!"

Yakko struggled to keep his voice down; no sense in waking Dot, or risk alerting the people outside about them. He ran his hand through his hair before continuing. "Look, please – don't ever leave where we're at again like that, OK? And definitely don't start accepting the free handouts from the locals, understand?"

"OK," he muttered, sulky. "But I wanted some Skittles."

"You get them from a store, not the street corner."

"Can we go up to the store?"

Yakko looked out the window; a vicious fight was now in progress. One man was on the ground now, probably beaten into unconsciousness, while another went through his pockets. Four more stood by, watching and smoking.

_Hell no._

"We'll go when the sun comes up – don't argue," Yakko said, seeing him going

to interrupt again. "Be happy you're not in bigger trouble than you are for this little stunt."

At the sound of a loud bang that was definitely not a car backfiring, Yakko grabbed Wakko off the counter, tossed him on the floor, and started crawling toward where Dot was; the sound had woken her and she was sitting up, rubbing her eyes. He grabbed her and dragged her back into the kitchen area with Wakko.

"Yakko, what's happening?" she asked him, yawning.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, shaking.

"Was that a gunshot?"

Hearing several more rounds of automatic gunfire and the squealing of tires peeling away from what was probably Compton's latest murder, Yakko threw both his siblings on the floor and tried to cover them with his body.

Coming to Compton wasn't his best idea this year.

Listening to screams and the echoes of several footsteps in the alley behind their little house, he debated on what to tell them. Telling them the truth would frighten them needlessly; he made a point not to lie to them if he could help it...

A half-truth then...

"I'm not sure Wakko." Seeing his sibling's look in the half light, he added, "I think those people were just fighting. Let's stay down here, on the floor, for awhile."

_And at sunup, when all the ilk currently shooting up the block have crawled back under their rocks, we're getting the hell out of here._

Wakko craned his head around him to watch. "What are they fighting about?"

"Who knows – probably those pills you had." He muttered.

Wakko looked slightly guilty, but didn't ask any further questions. He fell asleep several minutes later next to an already snoozing Dot. Yakko watched them for a few minutes, then pulled his map out to begin to search for a new area to wander to.

They had already been to most places in the area at some point or another. He started looking at the surrounding areas again, his usual game plan.

It was late October; in a few weeks he would need to get Dot's gloves anyway. Time to move back to the Burbank area for awhile.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Oh jeeze lady, right on the street? And perfect, Wakko and Dot heard everything…_

"Keep walking guys."

He picked up Dot while grabbing Wakko's hand as both children, curious, tried to look behind them. Yakko continued down the sidewalk, passing several dealers on the corner who eyed them suspiciously before going back to their business. He waited for the inevitable questions.

_Should have foreseen this happening at some point…_

"But Yakko, that lady-"

_Oh jeeze…_

"She's not a lady Dot."

_Wish this light would hurry up and change…out of sight, out of mind…_

"What is she then?"

_Do I even want to explain this to a four year old?_

Wakko saved him.

"She's a clown! Right Yakko?"

_Damn it…Change! _

"Ehhhhhhhh, yeah, clown - good job Wak."

_Whew, missed that by-_

"How come she asked the man about having a good time - don't clowns always want people to have a good time?"

_Uh…_

"Yeah, Wakko, clowns like people to have a good time. That man's gonna have a really good time…"

_And probably a nasty infection on a certain part of his body by next week. _

Yakko saw the light finally change, giving the walk signal, and he continued to lead his overly curious sibling down the sidewalk and away from the object of their curiosity.

He had to get them out of Compton. The rap songs he had heard blaring from the cars and houses at all hours of the day and night were right - this place was a bit rough. It was already October, time to head back to Burbank anyway, Dot would be getting her gloves in a few weeks…

"Can we see the clown too?" Dot asked, interrupting his planning.

"Ehhhhhhh, no, that's not our type of clown-"

"Why not?" Dot asked.

"She's probably expensive," Wakko said. "Its OK Yakko, I've got a few dollars-"

Yakko quickly looked down at Wakko. "Where'd you get a few dollars from?"

_He better not have been grabbing anything while I wasn't looking…_

"It's from the money you gave me - remember?"

_Right, forgot._

Trying to make their lives as normal as possible while living the most abnormal of lives, he had been giving Wakko a few dollars here and there in an attempt to teach him some form of responsibility and money management. So far Wakko had been hit or miss on it, but he wasn't expecting huge amounts of financial planning with a seven year old.

Besides, he helped get most of it, he deserved a few dollars here and there.

"Save your money Wakko; you're not gonna like her show."

"I might," Dot said. "I want to see her." Dot gasped, then clapped her hands. "Maybe she can do balloon animals!" She leaned back over his shoulder to yell, "Hey clown! Make me a pussy-cat! I like kitties!"

_A pussycat…great. _

"I bet she's blowing up balloons right now - lets go get one!" Wakko exclaimed, trying to pull his hand free of Yakko's.

Yakko held him firmly. "No. Just take my word for it, what that clown is blowing around the corner is not balloons."

"How do you know?" Dot asked.

_Why are they doing this to me?_

"Because I'm older."

"You always say that!" Dot and Wakko both said in unison.

_Good…teamwork. Gotta distract them…_

"It's true. Hey, let's get some candy before we get on the bus," he said, spying a small convenience store on the next block where the bus stop was.

_Candy always distracts them…_

They both looked tempted, but had apparently decided to dig their heels in on the whole 'clown' thing.

"Let's get candy later. I want to watch the clown!" Dot said.

_Ugh…_

"Fine. No candy. Gonna be a long bus ride to Burbank though…"

_Please be tempted at least…_

"Maybe the clown has candy-" Wakko started.

"Crabby the clown probably has lots of things," he muttered.

"Crabby? Funny name for a clown," Dot said, wrinkling her nose. "It's not a very cute name."

"What she's doing isn't cute either." He saw both of them start to open their mouths and stopped them. "Drop it. Last chance - candy or not?"

_Please just take the candy…_

"OK, OK, I'll take the candy," Dot huffed. "Still rather see the clown."

"Take the candy," he said. "It won't warp your little mind."

"What's that mean?" Wakko asked.

Yakko breathed a sigh of relief. They had finally reached the store.

"Never mind. Lets go in."

_Before you drive me right over the edge._

"All right," they grumbled together.

He opened the door, holding it for Wakko before stepping in himself. There were no toons in there, but the two human employees didn't raise an eyebrow at seeing them. Sniffing the air and smelling, Yakko imagined nothing would make these guys raise their eyebrows. They had to be high as a kite if the thick smoke wafting through the dimly lit shop was any indication.

He was about to walk back out, not wanting to deal with drug users, nor exposing Wakko and Dot to them, but as soon as they saw the candy, all thoughts of the 'clown lady' vanished from their speech.

"Can I have Butterfingers?" Dot asked.

"I want Skittles!" Wakko added. "Or maybe Starburst, I don't know…"

"If you don't ask me anything else about clowns, you can have whatever you want."

That did it. Wakko took off down the small candy aisle like his tail was on fire, looking at each candy in turn, while Dot pointed and made Yakko show her each bar as she tried to decide.

The humans behind the counter watched this for a few seconds, then began to laugh at the 'puppy children' and asking to honk their red noses.

Irritated, Yakko tried to ignore Cheech and Chong and concentrate on showing Dot the candy. He was also trying to make sure Wakko didn't decide to try to buy one of every candy in the store, or worse, trying to pocket anything he got his hands on.

Wakko was falling back into the habit of trying to snatch things without Yakko's permission again, a habit he thought he had curbed while they were still in ToonTown. He'd earned a few swats in the last couple of months for trying to pick a few pockets that didn't need to be picked. Yakko had managed to get to him before he succeeded, but had warned him again that if he tried it once more, he was going to get one hell of a spanking. So far that threat hanging over his head seemed to be working; Yakko had not noticed him making any further unauthorized grabs.

After five minutes of Wakko and Dot still unable to make up their minds, he just finally grabbed several different candy bars and a couple of sodas to tide them over until they arrived in Burbank.

Taking the items up to Bevis and Butthead's human counterparts, he watched with growing impatience as they screwed up even the simple task of ringing up the items.

Finally they got it right, and Yakko pulled out some money to pay for the purchases, counting out what they had. He and Wakko had been very successful the last couple of pockets they picked.

Unable to stash Dot anywhere now, he had been holding her while he distracted and Wakko grabbed the money. He had been worried about Dot actually seeing Wakko making a grab, or even worse, pointing it out. So far they had been lucky - mostly because when he was holding her, whoever he was trying to distract was too busy telling Dot what a cutie she was. Dot was distracted, so Wakko was mostly able to get in and out with little difficulty. Yakko was lookout; if he saw anything suspicious, he had certain words he would say to warn him off.

They had been hassled a few times by locals, mostly in the rougher areas of the different cities they wandered into, such as Compton. They had wandered into TIS several times, and while always managing to escape, it was wearing on his nerves. He had not expected TIS to be quite so active or persistent outside of ToonTown.

Walking back outside to wait for the bus, he looked around at Compton for the last time. Even during the daylight, several hookers and low level dealers were hanging around, yelling to the passing motorists. Thankfully, now that they had candy and sodas, his siblings seemed to be ignoring the circus going on around them.

He cut his eyes to look at Dot sitting beside him on the bench, a Hershey bar in her mouth. She finally stopped eating long enough to look up at him, shooting him a grin with her mouth encircled with chocolate.

Amused, he returned the grin, sipping on his soda.

"Hey Yakko, can I practice later?"

Yakko turned to look at his brother, sitting on his right side. "As soon as we find somewhere safe to stay, and you finish the book I got you, OK?"

"OK," he grumbled.

Wakko may not like to study reading or writing, but two things he liked to practice were his harmonica and his mallet.

He was excellent at his harmonica, having long ago surpassed anything in the book. At this point, he was displaying a rather talented ear for music and was able to start mimicking the songs he heard on the radios while they were out.

Not all of them should be played on a harmonica, true, but still, Yakko was impressed. Plus it kept Dot entertained - she routinely danced and made up words for the songs he played.

They weren't the correct words, but still, she was cute while trying.

His mallet was another matter. Yakko was having a hard time teaching him how to Chuck the mallet correctly. It had taken him almost two months to pull it correctly, which was about standard. He knew the ready position, but had a hard time holding it there being so small still. He had the idea of what he needed to do to Chuck the mallet, but didn't have the experience to correctly use it yet without killing someone, not to mention he still really wasn't old enough or tall enough.

Not to mention, he didn't exactly have the best teacher. Yakko felt guilty about that, even though he knew, realistically, he had nothing to feel guilty about. He was twelve - what did he know about teaching?

Wakko was getting impatient though and had tried to use his mallet a few times anyway.

Yakko had finally sat him down and firmly told him if he tried to use it again before he said he could, he was going to take it away from him. That had worked; Wakko hadn't pulled it out since unless he was going to practice or Yakko told him to so it at least looked like there was more than one kid toon with a mallet, like the night the junkie came in the house to rob them.

Yakko saw the bus turn a corner and begin heading down the street toward them as a car drove by, blaring more rap music and a man hung out the passenger window, yelling several requests to the girl on the corner, most of them dirty.

He saw Wakko and Dot both turn to him, and waited for the inevitable questions about exactly what the man was asking of the 'clown lady'.

They weren't getting out of Compton a minute to soon. Burbank should be a nice change of pace.

End Chapter 12


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13 – Trio Complete_

November 6, 1992

_She's finally five_, he thought, watching her sleep. _No longer a toddler, she's now a child._

That thought delighted him and terrified him at the same time.

Yakko leaned back against the wall of the bridge they were currently living under in North Hollywood and looked at his sleeping sister. She looked so peaceful, curled up with her bear and currently using Wakko as a pillow.

Yakko reached into his hammerspace and pulled out a small plush purple box with ornate gold script across the top. He opened the lid and gently moved the mauve colored tissue paper to look inside again at what would be one of the most important presents she would receive in her life – her gloves.

He reached with one of his own gloved fingers to stroke the them, feeling the satiny material, wondering what they would look like on her when she finally woke up and put them on for the first time.

With proper care, they would last a long time – toon gloves, while expensive, were designed to withstand a lifetime of rough use. His own pair was still in perfect condition, despite being almost seven years old.

Every toon got a pair of gloves when they turned five, whether they had Schlesinger Syndrome or not. It was a right of passage for all toons. Most toons with Schlesinger Syndrome chose to wear the gloves, as a status symbol. The one's not born with Schlesinger Syndrome still kept the gloves, putting them away with photographs and baby books and other childhood memories.

Yakko looked at his sleeping siblings, noticing Wakko's gloved hands.

Interesting to see which toons wore the gloves and which ones didn't. Most all the furry toons wore gloves; they seemed to be the most susceptible to injuries. The gloves helped to protect delicate fingers as they went in and out of hammerspaces pulling mallets and bombs and pies.

Some toons though, such as most of the bird styled toons and human styled toons, seemed less likely to get injuries in their hammerspaces. They always carried their gloves with them; they just didn't wear them as often as a furry toon.

Yakko sighed and put the top back on the box, proud of himself for being able to provide both his siblings with their gloves on their birthday, something that some parents weren't able to always do. It had taken a lot of scrimping, along with a few extra picked pockets, but he had managed to get her the best available; Honey Brand Gloves. Every toon girl wanted a pair of Honey Brand Gloves – it was the equivalent of having a Chanel suit or Prada shoes. Even girl toons that didn't get that brand originally would upgrade to Honey Brand later.

Luckily he and Wakko already had the top of the line gloves for guys – O-Lucky Brand.

He had even got her a golf ball already; he was sure she would be anxious to begin trying to find her own hammerspace after the joy of finally getting her gloves wore off.

Dot gave a little sigh in her sleep, and then rolled closer to Wakko. Yakko gave a small smile; this was a special day for her. He had been planning what to do for her big day for the last week, as soon as they had gotten off the bus in Burbank after leaving Compton. He wanted her to have good memories of this day, just as he had tried to make Wakko's fifth birthday as special as possible, despite the circumstances. No one had bothered for his, and while not shocking, it was hurtful. He didn't want either of his siblings ever feeling the way he felt about their birthday.

Just like with Wakko, when he gifted her with the gloves, he would essentially be promising to train her in Toon Theory.

The only problem was with his own limited abilities, he wasn't going to be able to uphold but so much of that promise.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko stepped off the bus on Los Feliz Boulevard, carrying an excited Dot and followed by a curious Wakko.

"Where are we going Yakko?" Dot asked again trying to look around at the stores, the crowds, everything.

"I told you, it's a surprise Dot," Yakko answered.

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't like surprises. Just tell me."

"Learn to like them – I'm not telling you."

"Not fair," she grumbled, surprising Yakko with how quickly her mood changed.

_Sort of like Mom…_

He quickly shook his head to clear the memory, cursing himself for even bringing up memories like that on this day. She'd never be like Mom.

"You'll know soon enough. Wakko, stay close," he added, noticing his brother starting to wander off toward a toy store.

"It's my birthday Yakko-"

"I know Dot, that's why we're here."

"But if it's my birthday; you should tell me what I want to know when I ask!"

"Sorry Your Highness, you'll have to wait."

After Dot had woken up, followed by Wakko a half hour later, he had packed them all up from their temporary home under the bridge and got them on the bus. A fifty minute bus ride got them to Los Feliz Boulevard.

"But-"

"Give it up Dot; he's not going to tell you," Wakko said from behind him. He added in a mutter, "For someone who runs his mouth a lot, he gives very little information."

"Watch it Wakko; your birthday's next," Yakko smirked, looking down at him.

Wakko, looking abashed at being heard quickly said, "Sorry."

"When do I get my present?" Dot asked, grinning.

"In a while."

"But I know what it is!"

"How do you know?"

Of course she knew, it was her fifth birthday, but she probably wasn't expecting this brand. She had seen enough of the toon magazines he picked up and listened to him or Wakko read the articles out loud to know that this brand was out of their price range.

Or so she thought. Yakko smirked to himself; she was probably expecting some cheap knock off. Some toons, whether they had any business making glove or not tried to get in on the lucrative market.

She changed tactics, going from demanding to pleading.

"Please Yakko, please tell me where we're going…please?"

He looked at her; she was doing the big puppy dog eyed look.

_Gotta ignore it…_

"Trust me Dot, I think you'll have a good time," Yakko said, stepping up to the doors of the taco restaurant he had seen the flyer for. Dot loved tacos, especially with extra cheese.

"Tacos?"

"Yeah, tacos – you like tacos...don't you?" Yakko asked.

_Girls like to change their minds a lot, but really, she just said she wanted tacos the other day..._

"I love tacos – they're my favorite food!"

Thankfully, she hadn't changed her mind about that. Not yet anyway.

"Good, we're gonna eat lunch here, you'll get your present, then I've got a surprise for you."

"I love surprises, too!"

"Since when?" He muttered as they entered the restaurant.

It was already crowded with a mixture of humans and toons eating before heading to all the local attractions. Noticing Wakko starting to eyeball a few pockets a little too hard, Yakko gave him a look and grabbed his arm, gently maneuvering him closer as they stood in line.

Wakko had gotten into an 'I don't need big brother to look out for me I can do it myself' mindset lately. Yakko had to admit to himself Wakko probably could do it by himself; he wasn't exactly a novice any longer.

But Wakko didn't always keep as close a watch as he should. And from Yakko's mindset, two extra eyes watching made a world of difference. They hadn't been caught yet, and he had a feeling that an older lookout, not to mention a whole lot of luck, was the reason why.

Plus Wakko still thought of it as a game; talking, threats, punishment, nothing seemed to permeate his skull.

"Hey Yakko, can I get fried ice cream too?"

Yakko looked down at his sister as they finally stepped up to the counter. "Sure; you're the birthday girl - get whatever you want."

"What about me?" Wakko asked.

"If you want to be a birthday girl Wakko, we're gonna be having one of those weird conversations-"

_He's so fun to tease sometimes._

"No!" Wakko exclaimed, scrunching up his face. "I want fried ice cream too."

"So get some," Yakko said, shrugging. "I don't think it's limited to only girls."

"Faboo!"

_He's never gonna stop saying that._

Finally getting the order in, Yakko led them to a booth in the back corner near the window.

Wakko took the right side of the booth as Yakko put Dot in the left side, sliding in beside her on the hard orange seat. He then had to explain to Dot that while she may be the birthday girl, she couldn't ask people who were already sitting and eating to move because she wanted a certain table.

Wakko made a comment about Dot being a brat, and Yakko rolled his eyes at the ensuing argument, deciding to try letting them argue it out. He'd step in if it got too loud.

Besides, they were rather amusing.

A very perky Latino waitress came with their order about ten minutes later and began doling out the food. Yakko lost interest in Wakko and Dot's bickering for a few seconds to watch her - long black hair, long legs, long delicate fingers…

Like most of the restaurant personnel in Hollywood, she was stunning, which probably meant she was one of the thousands of hopefuls that flocked to the city trying to make it big.

_Her personality wasn't the only thing perky; certain parts of her anatomy were pretty perky too,_ Yakko thought as she bent down a little more than necessary in her 'so low she might as well just take it off' top to place his tacos in front of him.

_Ay Caramba._

Yakko was rewarded with a smile as wide as the ocean when he commented on her perky personality and she sashayed off, swinging her hips so wide he feared her spine might snap.

He turned back as Wakko shoved half a taco in his mouth and Dot watched in disgust.

"You're a pig Wakko - eat right!"

"I am eating right - food goes in my mouth, see?" He asked, opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out with half gnawed taco on it to show her as she acted like she was gagging.

"That's gross - Yakko!" She whined, pulling on his shirt sleeve. "Tell Wakko to eat right! He's ruining my birthday!"

Yakko, who had been watching, amazed that Wakko was able to get that much food in his mouth at one time, finally stepped in. "Wakko-"

"Thinks she's a bloody queen," Wakko muttered, taking another smaller bite of his taco.

"I'm not some old fat queen!" Dot exclaimed. "I'm a princess - tell him Yakko!"

"Wakko, she's a princess. Now stop annoying the royal on her birthday."

Wakko grumbled something under his breath that Yakko was certain was not polite, but chose to ignore it. Dot stuck her tongue out at him across the table and turned to begin eating her own meal.

_Can't take these two anywhere…_

XXXXXXXXXX

When they finished their meal, Yakko directed them to stay in their seats while he took the trash, and so he could take the gloves out of his hammerspace. He was probably more excited than she was about it.

He slowly walked back to the table, holding the plush purple box in his hands. He watched as Wakko and Dot batted a balled up straw wrapper at each other across the top of the table, and catching sight of Dot's small black furred hands.

_This is it_, he thought as he arrived at the table and slid into the booth beside her.

Wakko, catching Yakko's eye and noticing the box, stilled the makeshift ball.

Dot frowned at the interruption of the game and turned to look at Yakko.

Taking a breath, Yakko held the box out to her. He watched the emotions play across her face; surprise, then elation.

She took the box from him, her finger tracing out the gold script on top as she silently mouthed the words, then she hesitantly opened the box, moving the tissue paper to look at her new gloves.

She gasped, looked up at him with jubilant eyes, then lunged at him, landing in his lap and throwing her arms around his neck while shrieking loudly in his ear.

"Yakko - thank you thank you!" She chanted. "I didn't think I was going to get this kind!" She planted an extremely wet kiss on his left cheek before squealing again.

Yakko smirked and tried to wipe his cheek discretely. "Only the best for my sis."

Usually it was a bit of a ritual for parents to put the gloves on their offspring for the fist time, sort of a way of signifying the change from toddler to child. Usually it was parents, not siblings.

He did it for Wakko, though his little brother had asked him to do it. Dot may not realize, or may want to do it herself. He wondered if Dot would-

"Aren't you going to put them on me?" Dot asked, breaking into his thoughts.

He focused back on her in his lap facing him. She was holding the box in her left hand, while thrusting her right hand at him, fingers splayed. Her face was now a mix of hesitant and hopeful.

"You're supposed to do it Yakko…don't ya want to?" She asked, looking worried.

_Snap to it Yakko._

Feeling stupid for bungling it and upsetting her needlessly, Yakko quickly took the box from her.

"Sorry Dot, I was just thinking. And yes I want to."

He took the first glove and slipped it on her hand, watching the little black furred fingers disappear under the satin, and quickly latched the little silver clasp on the underside of the wrist.

He then repeated it on the other hand, holding her little hands in his own for a minute before letting them go so she could look at her hands for the first time.

She grinned as she looked at her now gloved hands, then jumped along with Yakko, as they heard applause coming from the tables around them.

Yakko looked at Wakko, who was grinning and clapping, tongue hanging out of the left side of his mouth, then turned around. The entire restaurant had been watching them the whole time and he hadn't even noticed.

Dot beamed and waved her hands in the air as the toons around her grinned back and gave her thumbs up, calling out congratulations to her.

Some of the humans, tourists from the looks of them, were snapping pictures of them and talking to the toons at other tables, asking what was going on. The humans looked amazed as a variety of toons began to explain the important milestone that had just happened to her.

Yakko wasn't comfortable with the tourists taking their pictures. He didn't like the idea of anyone having photographic proof of where they had been.

Dot, however, was relishing the attention. She was accepting the congratulations of the toons with all the grace of a monarch, and allowing them to see her new gloves, holding out her little hands so a variety of toons could 'oooohhhh'and 'aaaahhhh' over them.

Even now, some of the humans were coming over, touching her hands and telling her how cute she looked with them.

Yakko cut his eyes to Wakko, who looked uncomfortable with the crowd of humans and toons around the table. Yakko shot him a small smile and rolled his eyes, making Wakko snicker. A human spotted Wakko and began talking to him, and Wakko hesitantly began talking to him, cutting his eyes to Yakko before doing so.

_Amazing; he actually was listening to me before when I told him to not talk to strangers_, Yakko thought as he gave a slight nod of his head to Wakko.

Normally, Yakko would have dragged his siblings away rather than let them talk to all these people. People could talk, word could get out where they were at…

He shrugged. It was a special day, he hadn't seen any sign of TIS in the week and a half they had been in the area, Dot looked like the happiest toon on earth. Even Wakko looked like he was having a good time.

Yakko, hands wrapped around Dot's waist, smiled to himself, pleased. Despite everything, he had managed to get both siblings out of the toddler stage and into the child stage. Hopefully he would be just as successful with getting them from child to teenage stage someday.

Catching sight of Dot's gloved hands again as a large human woman in a muumuu very similar to one Goose wore stroked the fabric, Yakko simply grinned and decided to lighten up for a while.

The Warner siblings were complete; all three finally gloved.

_Sometimes it was hard, being the oldest._

_Other times, it was very rewarding._

XXXXXXXXXX

December 3, 1992

"Yakko! Look! I found him!" Wakko exclaimed.

Yakko, holding Dot's hand, walked over to see what Wakko was so excited about. Wakko was pointing down toward the sidewalk.

_Groucho Marx._

Yakko shot Wakko a smile. "Good job Wakko!"

"How come Harpo doesn't have one?" Wakko asked.

_Because the people who choose this stuff are a bunch of jerks?_

"I'm not sure Wakko." Seeing Wakko's confused look, he added, "maybe they plan on giving him one, and just haven't gotten around to it yet."

"Well, he should have one; Chico too," Wakko said, nodding his head emphatically.

A street musician, strolled by and set up to begin playing, opening his guitar case and picking up his guitar to begin playing the old Burt Bacharach song 'Do You Know The Way to San Jose?".

_Sort of a weird choice._

"Groucho has two stars Wakko, but neither of them are for the Motion Picture category. They're for Television and Radio-"

"That's not fair; he's known for his movies!"

_Oh Wakko, Hollywood is so unjust in so many ways sometimes…_

"I know Wak, but his radio work and later television work were also important."

"Chico was on the radio with him; how come he doesn't have one?"

Yakko groaned; when he decided to take Wakko and Dot to the Hollywood Walk of Fame for Wakko's birthday trip, he didn't think he'd have to answer all these hard questions.

He should have just taken them back to the Los Angeles Zoo at Griffith Park like he did for Dot's birthday. That trip had even had an added bonus; as they were leaving, he had seen a flyer for a play being put on; "Bye Bye Birdie".

They had gone to watch that as well. Wakko had been fairly bored by the plot, but liked the music and singing. Dot had loved everything about it; the singing, the dancing…she now had it in her head that she wanted to be a singer now and perform on Broadway. Last week she wanted to be a ballerina.

He looked back at Wakko, who was impatiently waiting for an answer, arms crossed and tapping his foot on the Television star for Paul Douglas.

Yakko said, "I don't know Wakko, I really don't. A lot of deserving actors and musicians don't have stars. There's a bit of controversy about how stars get chosen."

"I think it's bogus," Wakko muttered.

_He's taking this hard._

"Look, I know a lot of deserving stars are on here though; let's look for them instead of sulking about the people who we think got cheated." Yakko quickly checked the free tour guide he had picked up that listed the location of everyone's star. "Stan Laurel has a star at 7021 Hollywood Boulevard. Let's go find that."

"OK - they didn't screw Hardy out of one did they?"

"Don't use that word, and no, they didn't; he's got one on Vine Street."

"How come not next to Laurel?"

Yakko sighed. "I have no idea Wakko; again, I don't choose these things. If I did, Lawrence Welk wouldn't have one."

_Dull ass music. Dull ass show._

"Who's he?" Dot asked, looking bored.

"Singer and television star. Old people like him," he answered, still looking through the guide. "Wakko, Thelma Todd has a star, so does Chaplin…you love those old movies, and Bugs Bunny…all on this street. Let's get looking."

"Faboo - Chaplin and Bugs? Where?"

"Need to go that way," Yakko answered, pointing. "And you need to wait up mister; I'm not losing you in this crowd!" He yelled as Wakko started to run off, disappearing in the flock of tourists and holiday shoppers.

Wakko stopped to wait, bouncing on his toes impatiently and flicking his tail, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. Yakko was annoyed, mostly with himself - he's the one who let Wakko have three cupcakes and two sodas with lunch at the pizza place. Wakko would be on a sugar high the rest of the afternoon and probably crash hard at about seven o'clock.

_Well, that's fine_, Yakko thought. _Wakko was up at dawn this morning, me with him._

Because his little sibling had been up so early, he had given him his present then, a book on songwriting that Yakko had found for him. Since Wakko was constantly trying out new harmonies and rhythms on his harmonica, Yakko had bought him that book, figuring that if Wakko had a healthy hobby, he might as well encourage it. There was a more in depth section on reading music as well that Wakko had immediately begun to read.

Unfortunately now, Wakko wanted to learn another instrument. He had it in his head that he wanted to learn violin. Yakko sighed; he'd love to be able to afford a tutor to be able to teach him different things, Dot too. Hell, he'd love to be able to afford to just buy Wakko another instrument. Wakko had become enchanted with the violin when they had stopped to watch a few different street musicians and such playing.

Yakko shrugged to himself; probably would never happen, but who knows? Their lives had been so weird up to this point anyway, it was hard to say what would happen to them next.

Dot pointed across the street toward The Hollywood Wax Museum, and she and Wakko both began to ask if they could go there. Yakko had heard from some tourists they had passed that the place was supposed to be really cheesy, but the admission was really cheap. They seemed to accept his answer of 'maybe' and happily shared a smirk with each other.

_Perfect; they've learned how to team up on me._

As Yakko led Wakko down Hollywood Boulevard, pointing out other past and present stars to both his siblings, he continued reading the tour guid, and noticed there were stars for other important members of the Hollywood family: Harry Warner, Jack Warner, and Sam Warner. The founding members of Warner Brothers Studio.

He resolved to find them before the day was out. These men were the reason they had the last name Warner. Well, the reason in a roundabout way. But still, it would be a good way to introduce some of their family history to his siblings. It wasn't all pretty, and he'd gloss over some things until they were older, but they should know some of their past.

XXXXXXXXXX

December 14, 1992

"Come on Yakko, please?"

_Ugh, can't look at her…will weaken under big pleading eyes…._

Yakko turned from Dot on his left side to look at Wakko, who was almost as bad.

"Please Yakko? We haven't done anything really fun in awhile," Wakko added.

_Almost nothing…is as bad…Dot must have worked with him to get the saccharine sweet super cute look down….worse now then when he was four…_

"We went to Hollywood Boulevard and the wax museum less than two weeks ago for your birthday! Wasn't that fun?"

"Yeah," Wakko said, then muttered, "Except the wax museum - that place was shitty-"

"It was what?" Yakko asked him.

"Ugh, really really bad!" Wakko said quickly. Then he whined, "But we went so long ago!"

Yakko rolled his eyes; if this kept up, they were going to wear him down. Even worse, he was tempted to go too. It did sound interesting…

"Yeah Yakko we want to do something fun now!" Dot chimed in. When he looked at her, she immediately grasped his arm and gave him a big smile, showing off her dimples and saying quietly, "Pretty please…for your favorite sister?"

"You're my only sister, come up with something better," Yakko grumbled, wiggling his arm free of her grasp.

He took his gaze off his siblings and looked at the ad in the newspaper he had. He frequently bought 'The Animator', the oldest and most popular of the toon newspapers.

Today though, he wished he hadn't. As soon as his siblings saw the ad for the annual Toon Convention going on in Griffith Park, they had been clamoring to go. He'd been listening to it for the whole day.

Fritzing a pair of ear plugs hadn't helped; they simply talked louder, their voices echoing in the abandoned clothing shop they were currently calling home.

Threatening to put them in the corner hadn't worked either.

They hadn't been distracted by offers of candy, ice cream, taking them to the beach, going to see a movie…nothing was working. Separately they could get away with a lot, but he could usually hold firm if it was something important.

When they worked together, they were unstoppable. He tried to avoid looking at them, both of them with their big liquid eyes staring at him hopefully.

_Shoot._

He had pulled them out of the Burbank area the day after Wakko's birthday due to spotting a few TIS employees.

Seeing another poster of them had helped speed their departure from the Burbank area as well. This time, they were closer to the top of the photos instead of being on the bottom row like usual, meaning that TIS had caught all the kids previously before them on the wanted posters. He had also noticed a picture of Dane beside them. He wondered how the little raccoon was doing; if he was on new issue posters, at least he hadn't been captured.

He glanced back down at his siblings. Wakko and Dot where exchanging glances at each other, smirking, then turned back to him.

_Damn…they knew they were winning._

He didn't like this; where there was a large gathering of toons, there could be TIS. They were becoming a lot more active lately, the police as well, no doubt due to the holidays.

Yakko groaned, shifting on the floor and leaning his back against the wall and looked at the ad again.

_22nd ANNUAL TOON CONVENTION_

_Once again, it's time for the Annual Toon Convention at Griffith Park! Come join us for two fun-filled days! See the new products from Acme and Glomgold Enterprises! Do some holiday shopping - it really is just around the corner folks! Why wander through the packed malls when you can come to the packed convention instead? _

_Golden Age Mallet Company will be holding the Fourth Annual Mallet Fight; winner receives a $50 gift certificate to be used at either of their two locations (Olive Avenue in Burbank or Daws Street in ToonTown). __  
__NOTE: Must be eighteen or older to participate._

_Special guest speakers this year include that Oscar-Winning Rabbit Bugs Bunny, speaking about working with Spielberg on his current series, 'Tiny Toon Adventures', the new as of yet unnamed series in the works at Warner Brothers Studios, and being the tutor to the two main stars of 'Tiny Toon Adventures'._

_Henry The ChickenHawk - all grown up - speaks about being a child star in the forties and fifties. _

_Snoopy will be available for a question and answer session from 9AM to 12PM on Saturday, December 19th. __  
__NOTE: Interview will be conducted via sign language; must be able to demonstrate proficiency in both __signing and understanding before entry will be allowed._

_Snagglepus will be available from 2PM to 5PM on Sunday the 20th to autograph copies of his new book, 'Heavens to Murgatroid - The Rise and Fall of a Hanna-Barbera Star'._  
_NOTE: Must pre-purchase book at local bookstores._

_Special exhibits include the original WABAC Machine from the set of The Rocky and Bullwinkle show, Speed Racer's Mach 5, and Lion-O's prop Sword of Omens.__  
__NOTE: Additional costs associated for exhibits._

_Musical performances each night, including Josie and the Pussycats, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids, The Sourbilly Trio, and Jem.__  
__NOTE: Additional costs associated for concert events._

_Food booths this year will include samples of Smurfberry Crunch, Louie's Crackato Specials, and some of the more interesting pizzas from Michelangelo. __  
__NOTE: Other food will be available for purchase for those not quite as adventurous._

_Food, stars, gifts, competitions, free stuff, and a fashion show…what more do we have to say?_

_Other stars will be in and out of the gate, as time permits with their busy schedules. In other words, you never know who will be at these conventions! But will we see you there?_

_Be there or be square - entry is a steal at only $20.00 per adult for a two day pass, $10 for children under thirteen, children five and under free. All gate proceeds will be donated to the Society for the Betterment of Contemptible Toons._

Yakko snorted; bunch of crappy bands, Josie and Jem especially. However, if his ears were blocked, he could enjoy the show he supposed - both bands had some members that were neat to look at, especially Melody.

He was tempted though; he'd like to hear Bugs speak, he was probably his favorite as far as animated heroes went; Wakko and Dot would probably enjoy listening to him as well, and it would be educational. He knew he and Wakko would enjoy watching the mallet competitions, Dot would no doubt enjoy the concerts…

It would be twenty dollars to get him and Wakko in; Dot would be free. Who knew how much food would cost, not to mention any exhibits they wanted to see, if Dot pushed to watch any of the concerts…

"I don't know sibs…this could get awfully expensive…"

"I can get more mon-"

Yakko gave Wakko 'The Look' and he quickly stopped talking, looking chagrined and biting his lip.

Not only did he not want Dot to ask how he would get more money, his brother was getting more and more stubborn when it came to working by himself. Yakko still wasn't going to allow him to move around by himself; he was only eight years old, still way too young for that.

Yakko chose to ignore what he was capable of doing when he was eight. That was different of course. What he was doing when he was that age he did so Wakko and Dot could have some semblance of a normal childhood.

That hadn't worked out quite like he planned, but still, he tried.

"How Wakko?" Dot asked.

_Shoot. Can't hide anything from her._

"Don't worry about it Dot," Yakko said quickly. "I'm not sure about this guys; TIS might be around that area, such a large group of toons. You know this is gonna be crowded-"

"But it's Bugs Bunny Yakko, and I know you love him…" Dot said, trailing off and shooting a smirk at Wakko.

"I love lots of things-"

"Yeah, blonds," Wakko muttered, causing him and Dot to start snickering, putting their little fists to their mouths in an effort to quiet themselves.

_Yes - their hold is weakening!_

"Yeah, blonds," he said, turning to his brother, "so let's go to a mall around here instead and look for some."

The clamoring, whining, and indignant 'awwwwwwwww's' that greeted that suggestion quickly shot it out of his mind.

_Too bad._

"We won't ask for anything for Christmas," Wakko added.

_Crap, Christmas…and I have no idea what to get them…_

"Yeah, spending time with you at a fun place will be present enough!" Dot added, clasping her hands together.

_Oh who did they think they were fooling?_

"This could be really dangerous you two," Yakko said, trying to get them to see what he was saying.

"Please-please-please-please," Dot and Wakko started chanting.

_Where the hell did all this teamwork come from?_

Yakko looked from Dot to Wakko, back to Dot. They stopped chanting to shoot him grins before continuing the mantra.

_They weren't going to give up…they wanted to go…hell, I want to go…would the risk be worth it?_

_Fine…you only live once._

"OK, OK!" he finally exclaimed, throwing his arms up in exasperation and dropping the newspaper. "We'll go."

Dot and Wakko immediately stopped chanting. They then started cheering and jumped into his lap, knocking him down backwards so that he was lying on his back on the floor, both of them straddling his abdomen.

He leaned up, resting his elbows on the floor as he looked at them.

"Thanks Yakko!" With that they both kissed his cheek with a loud smacking sound.

_Marvelous._

"But I have a few stipulations."

"What's that?" Wakko asked, looking confused.

Yakko sighed. "My rules-"

Both Dot and Wakko wrinkled their noses.

"You have too many of them now," Wakko said.

"Take it or leave it."

"Alright!" They both said.

"We go when I say we go, and we leave when I say we leave. You two stick beside me at all times, no wandering away."

They were both nodding in agreement. Yakko checked his watch; it was past both of their usual bedtimes. He usually didn't go to sleep quite this early, but with their day long nag-fest on him, he was worn out.

Convention started Saturday the 19th; it was Monday the 14th. He had five days to get them there; he'd start checking the bus schedules in the morning.

"One more stipulation; you two go to sleep now." They groaned and he said firmly, "Take it or leave it siblings…"

They grumbled but said, "OK."

He stretched out on the dusty floor, using his sweatshirt to cradle his head. Wakko and Dot laid down on either side of him, using his chest as a pillow, like usual. He put his arms around them.

He decided to try one more time to sway them off this idea. The whole thing still made him nervous.

"Come on guys - how about a movie instead -"

They loved the movie house down the street, and it played really old movies, from the thirties, forties and fifties; Dot finally got to really see her first Marx Brothers' movie, plus they had all been able to see some other classics. At night it played newer releases; they'd just seen the new Batman movie. Not really new anymore, it came out months ago, but still new to them.

And it was dirt cheap to get in; he and Wakko were three buck each, Dot was free…always had stale popcorn though…

Dot snorted. "You just want to go see that silly Batman movie again and make kissy-faces at the screen when the lady comes on."

_Michelle Pfeiffer…black leather catsuit…what can I say?_

"Yeah Yakko," he heard Wakko add from his right side, "we saw you; you'd try to get her to arch her tail-"

"Goodnight everybody," he said, interrupting Wakko's very true but highly inappropriate statement. Hopefully he said it with enough mock venom in his voice to get them to stop giggling.

It didn't work; he could still hear them snickering, their little bodies shaking with suppressed mirth. Yakko rolled his eyes in the darkness.

_I'm such a sucker._

XXXXXXXXXX

December 19, 2007

Yakko laughed along with his siblings and the rest of the crowd as they watched the two toons battling in the Golden Age Mallet Battle, Round 2. Currently Mr. Jinks was getting his butt handed to him by Sylvester.

_Bet meeces aren't the only thing he hates to pieces right now,_ Yakko thought with a grin.

They were only competing for the fun of it; well, Sylvester was anyway. Yakko wasn't sure why Mr. Jinks was up there with his own tiny oak mallet; he sure couldn't be having any fun. He may be good at Chucking his body when it came to taking abuse from two mice, but the guy couldn't Chuck a mallet if his life depended on it.

When he went down for the third time, he didn't get up. He lifted his hand in the air and Sylvester leaned down to shake it. Mr. Jinks finally began to crawl out of the ring to the laughter and applause of the crowd as Sylvester waved his large ebony mallet in the air in victory as Tweety flew overhead, finally landing on his head.

"That was great!" Dot said from atop his shoulders.

"Yeah - simply Faboo!" Wakko agreed, being held in Yakko's arms. He had to pick him up; Wakko was too short to see over the top of the toons in front of him.

"It's gonna get better guys - Tom's coming up for a round with the champion," Yakko said, watching as the tall Russian Blue cat toon walked into the ring.

"Look! Yakko look!" Dot screamed, grabbing onto his left ear and yanking it. "Jerry's with him! He's so cute!"

"Yeah, I see him Dot; please let my ear go before you rip it off," he said, wincing as she continued to yank and bounce on his shoulders.

"Hey Yakko, who d'ya think will win?" Wakko asked. "I think Tom-"

"You're crazy Wakko! Sylvester's got it all over Tom-"

"No way! Tom's talented and bigger-"

"But Sylvester's got more upper body strength," Yakko pointed out.

They went quiet as the two cats shook hands, then Tom reached into his hammerspace, pulling a large oak mallet. Tweety and Jerry vacated the ring as the crowd quieted.

The two cats regarded each other, mallets in the ready position before Sylvester took the first swing, Tom jumping out of the way and swinging his own.

Yakko heard his siblings start cheering; Wakko for Tom, Dot simply yelling happily for either of them to get smashed, and Yakko laughed before adding his own cheers for Sylvester.

This hadn't been a bad idea after all; they had been there for hours and hadn't seen any sign of TIS or any human police. The most he had seen was a few security guards, but they hadn't even given them a second glance.

Other than having to scold Wakko for trying to lift some human's wallet on the bus a few days ago when they had been traveling, they had actually had a good week. They could attend the toon convention both days, then head on toward Anaheim again; they hadn't been there in months.

Yakko glanced down at his brother's head; he was getting more and more stubborn and risky, insisting that he could grab anything by himself now and he didn't need his older brother looking out for him.

A smack on his rear end, a reminder that he was eight and Yakko was in charge, and yet another warning about the consequences should he disobey again had ended the small argument at the time. Yakko had a feeling that his younger brother would try it again, to prove to him that he could do it all by himself.

Yakko resolved to keep a close eye on him. Since Wakko tended to get distracted often and not watch his surrounding as close as he should, he could accidentally pick the wrong pocket. Yakko shuddered, that would be bad, especially if he tried it in this particular crowd. All the toons here were talented for the most part; Wakko could very easily get busted.

Yakko looked up and watched in disbelief as Sylvester got brained by Tom's mallet, going down hard in the ring as the crowd cheered. Wakko looked up at him grinning as Dot in her excitement began to tug on both of Yakko's ears.

"Told ya Tom would win!" Wakko shouted.

"Win? He cheated! Sylvester slipped in some of Jink's ratty fur that got knocked off in-"

"Don't hate the player Yakko, hate the game."

"Yeah, whatever Mr. Thug-Life," Yakko grumbled good-naturedly as he watched Sylvester stagger to his feet, holding his head.

The black and white cat stumbled toward Tom, shaking his hand before staggering out of the ring, Tweety flying over his head as Tom waved his mallet in the air, bending down to pick up Jerry. Jerry pointed toward the left, and Tom got a worried look on his face - the next celebrity contender was 'The Barnyard Dawg'.

_This should be good_, Yakko thought, watching as the brown and white dog shook hands with Tom. Jerry quickly scampered out of the way as the canine pulled his own light colored mallet out.

_Tom's gonna get beat this time Wakko._

Yakko looked at his watch. Not even noon yet.

"Yakko," Dot asked, giving an extra hard pull on his ears to get his attention. "Can we go look at the toon fashion display now?"

"I don't want to look at dresses!" Wakko said.

"I do! I didn't want to watch the stupid mallet fight-"

"You liked it!" Wakko countered.

"Only for a few minutes!" Dot insisted. She looked down at Yakko, doing her own special cutesy face. "Please? Please with whipped cream…and a cherry?"

_Damn. She added the cherry._

Yakko sighed; he didn't want to look at a toon fashion show either, but it was only fair. Dot had sat through some of the mallet fights. He and Wakko could go to the fashion exhibits for awhile.

"OK Dot-"

"Yakko no!" Wakko exclaimed.

Yakko put him on the ground and took his hand. "Fair's fair Wakko - we'll go look at the fashion show for awhile, then get lunch, OK? After that we're going to listen to Bugs speak."

"Can't I stay here? I promise I won't leave this-"

Yakko laughed. "No way sibling; remember one of my stipulations - we all stick together like we were glued."

"It's gonna be boring!" Wakko muttered.

_He's right about that._

"No it's not!" Dot screamed in his ear. "Yakko, tell him-"

"Guys, you're giving me a headache; and if I get a headache, I'm gonna be cranky. If I get cranky, we leave. Follow me?"

"I have to, you're holding my hand," Wakko said.

"Wakko, I meant…oh never mind," Yakko groaned as Dot giggled.

_Jeeze, these two…_

"Please let me stay and watch."

"Forget it Wakko."

"But-"

"No."

With that, Yakko began to walk, catching the smirk Dot threw toward the now grumbling Wakko.

"Don't gloat Dot."

_This is going to be so boring._

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko rolled his eyes as he stood beside Yakko in one of the many tents set up in the park. There large tents were dedicated to fashion, shoes and makeup. Wakko was bored out of his mind.

Dot, happy to have gotten her way and to be looking at the displays, was pointing and laughing in Yakko's arms as they discussed the exhibits.

Yakko had warned him to stay close when they had come in the first tent; they were all crowded. Wakko wanted to tell him that would be difficult since he was having a hard time staying awake.

Why he had made him come along to look at dresses and shoes he was still trying to puzzle out.

Why they were even looking at the shoe exhibits was even more confusing; they didn't even wear shoes.

Wakko followed behind Yakko as he walked down the line, losing sight of Yakko at one point as a large purple hippo toon shoved in-between them, almost knocking him on his butt and gasping about some outfit.

Grumbling, Wakko tried to get around her and her husband, a large blue hippo toon, and started to go after Yakko, trying to see him through the sea of legs. He finally caught sight of his brother's tail, and hurried toward it before Yakko noticed he was gone.

Getting pushed toward the velvet rope barrier in front of a display featuring some ugly polka-dot dresses courtesy of Minnie Mouse Boutique, he caught a glimpse of the next exhibits. There were a lot of them still; dozens.

Wakko let out a groan; they would be here all day looking at this junk. He continued to push his way down the line, getting pushed along sometimes, other times getting pulled back or blocked by others.

He finally got near Yakko and Dot, and could hear them still talking about the exhibits; Dot saying that one day she was going to be wearing an outfit like that, and Yakko replying with 'no way in hell'. Wakko looked at the outfit and shrugged; it was one of those little bitty pink bikinis. He didn't see what Yakko was fussing about; he always looked when a girl walked by wearing one at the beach.

He then realized something else; they hadn't even noticed that he had gone missing. They were too wrapped up in the displays.

Wakko got an idea, then quickly tried to get it out of his mind. But it came back.

_Yakko didn't notice I wasn't right beside him. In fact, he hadn't really looked down at me much since they came in this tent. And he could be distracted for hours in here…_

Wakko, tongue hanging out the left side of his mouth, smirked.

_Wonder if he'd __notice__. Probably not…_

He thought, going through the pros and cons of his idea. If he could successfully sneak off, he could go watch the rest of the mallet competition, and not have to look at all the boring dresses. Both definitely pros.

If Yakko glanced down and discovered he was gone, he was going to be worried. If Yakko ever figured out that Wakko had deliberately snuck off, he was going to be angry. Both definitely cons.

_Think hard Wakko, is it worth it?_

Wakko nodded his head and grinned. Might as well try it. He bet he could get to the mallet fights and back before Yakko even thought about looking for him when he reached the end of this long display.

If not, well, he'd been in trouble before. This wouldn't be any worse.

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko looked around, still looking for the tent. He had managed to find the mallet fights again, and had stayed longer than he should have, getting distracted by the fight between two huge human toons trying to win the fifty-dollar gift certificate.

He had missed the fight between 'Barnyard Dawg' and Tom. From what he had overheard, it wasn't much of a fight; the dog had flattened Tom within fifteen seconds of beginning the match.

Wakko was growing slightly worried. He wanted to ask someone, but didn't know if he wanted to risk breaking yet another of Yakko's rules. He was going to be mad enough if he had discovered Wakko was missing.

Wakko finally shrugged; he had broken the number two rule about sneaking off, what's one more? Yakko was very likely going to kill him for this.

Wakko finally asked a large duck toon wearing a security guard uniform, who pointed the way and asked if he would like him to escort him to the missing child booth.

Wakko shook his head and quickly walked off in the direction indicated. He'd look like a baby sitting at one of those booths while his name was called out over the intercom.

As he walked, he started scanning the crowd. Every toon in the world must be here. When he and Dot had been begging Yakko to come here earlier in the week, he had no idea it would be so crowded.

As he scanned the crowd, he noticed a little man in a funny hat leaning against a pole, eating a corn dog. Wakko tried to ignore his grumbling stomach, but was unable to. They hadn't had breakfast, just coming straight to the convention this morning upon waking up on the other side of the park. After the stupid dress exhibit, they were supposed to be eating lunch, but Wakko had a feeling he had missed lunch with his brother and sister at this point.

Looking at the little man closer, he noticed something else. The man had a very large wallet in his back left pocket. Wakko looked at it; it was bulging out the top of his pocket it was so big.

_Bet that thing is full of money…_

Wakko studied it for a second. If he could get it, he could buy something to eat. He could also prove to himself and Yakko that he could grab something by himself, and he was old enough and good enough that he didn't need a lookout anymore.

_Be breaking rule number one though. And Yakko made the rules for a reason, he was trying to keep them all safe..._

Yakko had warned him what would happen the next time he did something like that.

Wakko frowned, scratching his ear and thinking. This was another one of those decide if the risk is worth it situations.

Listening to his stomach grumble again, and still not seeing Yakko and Dot, he nodded once to himself.

_It was worth it._

Making up his mind and pushing back any feeling of guilt he had at disobeying Yakko, he quickly began to walk up to the little man, keeping his eye on the prize. When he was in range, he reached out, feeling the wallet slipping out of the man's jeans and into his fingers.

Unfortunately, the man felt it slipping out of his jeans too.

The man turned around, and Wakko gulped; he was looking into the very angry face of Yosemite Sam. Wakko watched as the man's face went as red as his hair.

"What in tarnation-"

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit…Yakko!_

Wallet in his hand, Wakko took off running, attitude going from triumphant to terrified in seconds as the man began yelling loudly about no account thieves and every head in the area turned toward them.

He'd been seen. He'd never been seen.

_Maybe I need big brother to watch after all._

He yelped when someone grabbed his collar, lifting him off the ground as his feet continued to move.

Wakko looked; a large duck toon with a huge beak and even bigger teeth, wearing a garish jester costume was holding him. He was also trying to take the wallet.

Wakko, more frightened, barely heard the clown-duck saying something about it being 'playtime'. All he knew was that this clown was preventing his escape, and he did the only he could think of.

He bit the clown's hand.

Hard.

Then he kicked him for good measure, right in the stomach.

The clown yelled and doubled over, dropping him, and Wakko spit out a mouthful of white feathers before running off, ducking and diving between legs and tails.

Taking a quick glace behind him, he saw a few toons gathering around the furious Yosemite Sam, who was jumping up and down in the air, firing off his guns. Sam looked up, met his eye again, and started screaming, aiming his gun at him.

A goofy looking duck wearing a purple jacket, a cape, and a big grey hat came running up to Sam. He was followed by an equally goofy looking but substantially taller duck wearing a pilot's outfit.

_They looked familiar…_

They both turned to look at him as Sam kept screaming and trying to aim as several toons grabbed his arm, trying to wrestle the gun away from him. Wakko stared back at the two ducks as they began to come toward him, and he was able to place them - their show sometimes was on the TV at the home. He didn't want to mess with that guy.

Wakko gulped and took off again, trying to hide in the crowd and starting to cry he was so scared.

_Yakko, where are you? I just want to leave!_

XXXXXXXXXX

_Damn damn damn. Knew I shoulda kept a better eye on him…_

Yakko scanned the crowd again, hoping to spot his younger brother.

_This is my fault, I got too distracted with Dot; knew we shouldn't have come…_

He looked briefly at his sister, still in his arms. She had wanted to be put down, but he had refused. He had one missing sibling, he'd be damned if he was letting the other one out of his sight right now.

_Where could he have gone?_

"I don't see him Yakko," Dot said, sniffing before adding quietly, "you don't think he's been kidnapped-"

"Don't say that Dot. Don't worry, we'll find him," he replied in as soothing a voice as he could muster in the current situation.

He was trying to push his own panic and fear down. Panicking wouldn't help, and would only upset Dot further. Him too.

_Damn it Wakko, I told you to stay close._

Who knew there would be so many toons here? He was taller than Wakko, and he was getting pushed and jostled around by the crowd surrounding them.

His poor brother; he could have been kidnapped, or lost, or hurt in this crowd…

Yakko pushed the thought out of his mind and continued looking, wandering between displays, double checking all the food vendors, even going back to the mallet competition just in case his brother had decided to go back there.

_If he did, I'm beating his butt till sundown for this._

Dot was quietly sniffing, and he looked at her.

"Don't cry Dot, it's going to be OK."

_I hope._

He started to walk back toward the fashion exhibits, hoping that Wakko was waiting outside one of the tents for him. Maybe he had just gotten separated.

_It's been so long though, almost an hour since I last saw him; a lot can happen in an hour…_

"What if we don't find him Yakko?" Dot asked, now crying, tears running down her face. "He's a pain and a pig and gross, but I love him and I-"

"Dot, stop that," he said, harsher than he intended, his own nerves and fear making his voice horse. Cleaning his throat, he looked at her upset face and said, "Sorry. We're gonna find him; I bet any minute we're gonna run into him and we'll laugh about this in a little while."

He heard some screaming and yelling from behind him, and he turned to see a man jumping around in the air.

Dot looked and wiped her eyes and asked, "Is that Yosemite Sam?"

"Yeah, yeah I think it is," Yakko replied, standing on his toes as he got closer. Sam was screaming something.

"Thief - some rasenfracking varmit done took my money! I wanna see the varmit that nab my confounded wallet! I'll full em full of lead the rasen…"

_What the hell?_

"You're right Yakko - there are a few stars here!"

"Sure is sis - oh thank you, there he is!"

Yakko saw Wakko running toward him, hell bent, and he instantly relaxed, almost dropping Dot he was so relieved. He and Dot waved at him, calling his name.

Wakko saw them and continued running in their direction. If anything, he looked like he was speeding up.

_Must think he's in big trouble._

As Yakko watched his brother run toward them, his relief turned to worry when he saw the panicked look on Wakko's face. Wakko slid to a stop in front of him, attracting a lot of attention.

Starting to cry, Wakko threw his arms around his waist and wailed, "Yakko, I was spotted!"

_Spotted? What was he talking…Oh no…he didn't…_

Yakko's eyes opened wider, and suddenly what Sam was screaming didn't seem so crazy.

"What?" He grabbed Wakko's arm. "Did you take his wallet?" Wakko looked up at him with panic stricken features, starting to cry harder, but he finally nodded. "What did I tell you?"

_Lovely; Sam was almost at them, being followed by several toons and a few security guards._

Yakko watched as they steadily stalked toward them and gulped.

_Knew it, knew it! Instead of continuingly threatening Wakko, should have just beat his butt a time or two; that would have stopped this before it started. _

_This wasn't Wakko's fault, it's mine._

"Suck gas evil-doers!"

_Suck gas? Ewwwwwww._

Yakko turned, holding Wakko by his arm, and Dot in his other, to see a duck with one big ass bill standing in front of them wearing a really tacky costume.

_Honestly, who goes around dressed like Count BloodCount?_

However, this ugly duckling had a strange looking gun pointed at them.

_Oh what the hell is this?_

"Yakko…"

"I see him Dot, hold on OK? Don't let go of me." He pulled her a little tighter to his chest as he felt her arms tighten around his neck. "Not too tight Dot - I still have to breath."

"That hat, ugh - where'd he get that thing?"

"Not the time for fashion tips Dot."

"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" the duck bellowed, and Yakko was trying to pinpoint exactly where he had heard that before.

"Yakko, I'm sorry, I didn't -"

He hissed down to Wakko, "We'll talk about this later."

Yakko was quickly going through his options in his mind. Pissed off superstar - with a gun - behind them. Pissed off nutty duck in front of them, also with a gun. They had to get out of there, quick.

They were surrounded by toons. He had no idea where to run.

_Do something Yakko, even if it's wrong…_

His mind was churning with options -what to do?

Dot was still clutching his neck, scared and crying. Wakko was clutching his waist, also scared and crying. Sam and his group were almost in front of them. The ugly duck was babbling something about being the pimple on the face of crime.

The crowd was thinnest to his right. He might be able to take them by surprise. Behind that section of the crowd was a small hill, then the street toward freedom.

He might be able to leap them; another Chucking maneuver. He sort of knew the theory, having read about it in books, but never had tried it. If he did it wrong, he would either plow into the crowd, or if he managed to get airborne, he could land wrong, breaking a leg or an ankle, or drop one of his siblings, hurting them or they could get grabbed…

_Couldn't stand here either…_

Making a decision, he swooped up Wakko in one scoop and took of toward the right, hoping he was making the correct decision.

The duck fired something at them. Yakko took a quick step to the left, and whatever it was flew past them as he continued running, trying to build up speed.

"Yakko - that mallard just fired a toilet plunger at us."

"Whatever Dot - just keep quiet for a second, OK?"

_Have to think, had to make sure my feet spring at the right moment -_

"Yakko - we're gonna get grabbed-"

"Quiet Wakko - I'll be dealing with you later."

_Make sure I'm a few feet from the front portion of the crowd, concentrate on my feet going springy, anticipate on how high and wide the crowd is right before I jump, make sure I land correctly so I don't kill the three of us…_

"Stop foul felons!"

"Get an original line buddy," Dot yelled back to him. "Give Batman back his costume too!"

_That stupid duck…_

Yakko ignored him and concentrated on the crowd, still carrying both his siblings.

"Wakko, drop that wallet - if they get it they'll probably back off!"

He couldn't look to see if he did it; he was concentrating on not getting them caught or killed. Hopefully Wakko listened to him for once.

He reached the crowd and jumped feeling himself sailing into the air as Dot and Wakko cowed in his arms.

They sailed a lot higher than necessary, a good fifteen feet above the gasping crowd, and the duck fired something else behind them.

"How original, a smoke bomb," he heard Dot say, and he bit back a nervous laugh. They still had to land.

Kicking his legs to move them around in the air, he watched the ground coming up, and concentrated on having his legs turn rubbery to cushion the fall.

The ground came up fast, and he landed with a jarring thud, almost dropping Wakko and Dot as his ankles and knees began to throb in pain.

_Ow…need to work on my landings…_

He looked quickly; Wakko didn't have the wallet in his hand. Yakko looked up quickly; the duck had fired a grappling hook out of his wacky gun onto a tree branch and was trying to swing over the crowd instead of fighting his way through it.

"We got to go guys," he said, panting. "That guy's not giving up."

"What's his problem - he's Disney."

"How do you know?" he asked Dot.

"I saw the poster up - you should really look Yak-"

He cut her off. "Yeah, I'll read all about it later."

"Yakko, I-"

"Wakko, you're in enough trouble - "

"But I -"

"You're gonna be standing to eat for the next couple of days - don't push me right now."

Wakko wisely went silent at the threat, empty as it was, and Yakko looked up again as he heard a loud puffing and saw something else shoot out of the duck's gun.

_What the hell did he have in there?_

Yakko saw a net coming toward them and he took off, calling on his toonspeed to try to put a considerable distance between them and the terror that yaps or whatever he called himself.

By the time the duck landed, Yakko was two blocks away, panting heavily in an alley. He was using up a considerable amount of energy, and two blocks wasn't the safest space cushion he felt they could use. He would prefer several miles really. He slid Wakko and Dot down to the ground - neither of them was heavy, but trying to do toonspeed while holding onto several pounds of sibling was a bit wearing.

"Yakko, what's going on? Will you please tell me now what you two were doing? You said wallet..."

Yakko looked down at his sister. He hadn't told her yet, and he wasn't about to now.

"Don't worry about it Dot - Wakko did something I told him not to do," he replied, casting a glare toward his brother, who shrank back and managed to look ashamed of himself. "Now we'll have to leave the area, and try to find -"

Yakko lifted his ear up, as his siblings did the same - there was the sound of a motorcycle heading toward the alley.

"Damn," he muttered.

He grabbed Wakko and Dot and took off to the other end of the alley just as a large motorcycle came roaring in the alley. Yakko looked over his shoulder; it was the duck, and he had another duck in his sidecar.

_Gee, where did he get those wonderful toys?_

"What's with the purple," Dot said. Then she yelled, "Hey pal, you know there's other colors available, right? Purple is so last season!"

"Stop - I - Darkwing Duck, order you to - guh!"

Yakko looked over his shoulder at a crashing sound and choked back a laugh. He looked quickly at his brother, who had managed to pull a pie out of his hammer space. Yakko gave him a quick smile - he was still angry at him, but it was a nice bit of work - and it had caused Dinkwing or whatever he was calling himself to crash his hideous bike into the dumpster. The other ugly duck got out of the sidecar and was trying to push the bike back into position.

No damage to it unfortunately, but it slowed them down for a second.

Unfortunately the pie was disappearing; Wakko had managed to pull it out, but it wasn't going to last long at all.

Yakko took off again, as the duck started calling at them to stop and surrender.

_Right._

"Where're we going - he's still coming!"

Yakko looked quickly at his brother, who was looking over his shoulder.

"We've got to hide - we are not fighting a toon that fires toilet plungers at children right now."

_Crap, what do we do?_

Looking up, he saw a bus at the corner, loading and unloading humans and toons.

"Ok. Plan. Let's hop on that bus sibs-"

"Where's it going?" Wakko asked.

"Hell, right now who cares!" Yakko snapped, calling on what little bit of strength he had left to toonspeed toward it.

He reached it just as the bus doors were getting ready to close. He wedged his elbow in the closing door, earning a bump and a nasty look from the driver, who rolled his eyes and opened the door.

Yakko quickly ran up the stairs of the bus, putting Wakko on the floor and tossing in the fare for the three of them.

Hustling his scared brother toward a back seat as the bus drove off he saw Dirtwing's bike coming out of the alley, the two ducks watching the bus as it drove off around the corner.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko warily watched out the window of the bus; an hour later and that lunatic duck was still following them.

He would get cut off by traffic, and Yakko would lose sight of him for awhile before he would reappear, sometimes directly behind the bus, sometimes a block away, nothing more than a purple splotch.

Dot was sitting on his lap, Wakko beside him, both looking frightened. Yakko hated to admit it, they probably had a reason to be frightened. Dredging back through his memories, he remembered seeing the duck's show, especially at the home. It wasn't that popular there, but it was one of the approved Disney shows that would be playing in the background as the children talked or goofed off in the TV room.

They were lucky so far; every time the bus had stopped, the duck hadn't been close enough to come on. But he had been in sight, and Yakko had been leery about trying to jump off and hide. He had no idea where they were, or where they could go.

The bus turned onto Olive Street, and Yakko looked out the window, seeing a convenience store, a staffing agency, several law firms and a modeling agency.

No dumb duck on a motorcycle though. Yakko craned his neck to look out the rear window, still not seeing him. Time to make a break for it.

The bus slowed at the corner to make its stop, and Yakko stood nervously, hoping they hadn't attracted too much attention with their mad dash to get on the bus. They weren't the only toons on it though, so hopefully they just blended in.

Still holding Dot who was trembling in his arms, he used his free hand to guide Wakko down the aisle, gently pushing his back to get him down it quicker. Who knew when their newest pursuer would pop around the corner.

Stepping off the bus, he quickly grabbed Wakko's hand, wanting to get out of sight before-

Yakko looked up as Dot grabbed his left ear, screaming, "Count von Count is coming Yakko!"

_Damn._

Yakko glanced briefly in the direction that Dot was pointing; the toons were stuck farther back in traffic, but definitely heading toward them. Yakko started for a second, wondering what he had to do to shake this guy, before just running, Wakko struggling to keep up on shorter legs.

Not looking, Yakko ran blindly across the street, picking up Wakko as he went.

He had worked too hard to keep his siblings together. He was not letting some stupid do-gooder toon catch them and separate them again.

On foot in the traffic, he was able to weave his way in and out of the pedestrian and vehicle traffic, pushing several people over as Dot and Wakko yelled out such helpful phrases as 'sorry', 'make way coming through' 'fifty points if you can leap over the baby carriage Yakko' and 'move stupid'.

As he dashed down the street, turning corners and cutting through yards and alleys, his mind was still working. Every time he emerged onto another street, he could either hear the motorcycle or see it, the duck still screaming at them to stop.

What was worse, he was yelling out their last name and something about wanted.

He knew who they were; no wonder he was so hot on apprehending them.

Trying to inhale enough air to keep running, he stumbled onto Riverside Drive, still looking for a place to hide and catch his breath. He didn't see much; at this point he'd hide in a dumpster just to rest for a few minutes.

"Sibs," he finally gasped out, trying to ignore the pain in his chest and ankles, "keep your eyes open for some place to hide…I can't run much farther."

Both of them began scanning, craning their necks over his shoulder to get a better look.

Finally, Dot spoke excitedly, pointing to the left. "How about in that line?"

Yakko looked up to see what she was pointing to. Directly inside a red gate, there was a long line forming, a teaming mass of toons already scrunched inside the gates and spilling onto the street.

"Says Warner Brothers on the sign Yakko - it's like they're inviting us," said Wakko, clutching his shirt.

"Well, what about the Warner Sister - I don't want to stay out here!"

"You're staying with us Dot, don't worry."

_Geeze, these two…_

_Warner Brothers - the studio! They could hide in there; hell, people would think they were employees or tourists. They could stay in there for hours._

_Chances were Darkwing wouldn't follow them onto Warner Brothers' property; it would be a publicity nightmare for him to be seen on another studio's property without prior permission._

Distracted momentarily by that thought, he failed to see Darkwing's motorcycle coming down the sidewalk at them. Dot and Wakko's yell brought him back to the moment, and he ducked back, feeling the wind from the duck's hand as he drove by and tried to grab them.

"Hey Darkwing…Darkwing Duck!" Wakko yelled loudly, and threw another pie at him, catching him in the middle of the back this time.

"Tisk tisk Wakko…hitting a guy in the back. Aim for his head next time and knock that doofy hat off," Yakko said.

He wanted to laugh, he just couldn't inhale enough air to get the sound out.

Wakko's pie was already starting to dissipate again, and the masked mallard turned with murder in his eye as Wakko, Dot, and several other toons and humans in the street watching started laughing and clapping.

"Do it again Wakko!" Dot yelled.

"Ehhhhhh - always leave em wanting more guys - we got to get," Yakko said.

Yakko dashed inside the gate, knocking into toons who shouted their protests at line cutters just as the duck screeched to a halt outside the fence. He stopped, and was trampled by his own sidekick or whatever he was as he jumped off his bike. Yakko turned around, and couldn't resist throwing out an insult.

"Slow, stupid, and you're mother dresses you funny. Go back to your Count Chocula audition buddy!"

Wakko stuck his tongue out and made a face at him, while Dot blew him a kiss as the duck crawled off the ground and hit the larger duck with his hat.

"Don't feel too bad sweetie - I'm too cute for you anyway!" Dot screamed, batting her eyes at him.

The duck narrowed his eyes at them. Yakko had a feeling he was making a note of their appearance. Who cares, Wakko didn't have the wallet any longer, well he hoped, cutting a look to his brother. And as soon as the heat was off, they would be sneaking off.

But they had attracted attention, a lot of attention, with their entrance. They needed to find a place to hide. Looking at the long line of toons, mostly rabbits and ducks from the looks of them, he ducked into the middle of it, shooting a look of apology at the large white middle aged bunny couple that he bumped into as he did so.

Yakko peered around the toons as much as he could. Darkwing was talking to a very large fat man at the gate. Darkwing was jumping up and down; Yakko thought it looked like he was probably screaming as he gestured toward the line they were currently hiding in. Meanwhile, the security guard was scratching his head, moving his hat to do so, and looking extremely confused.

Ducking back to have the bunny couple block them from view, he slid Wakko and Dot to the ground as he bent over, gasping.

_Catch my breath, then catch the next bus out of here. Gonna be a long time till we can come back to Los Angeles._

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko looked at his watch; they had been hiding in the line over an hour. The line was growing longer behind them.

Unfortunately, whatever the line was for was not moving in front of them.

He scanned the area again. There was the guard shack behind them near the gate they had run in. To the right were several buildings; one marked administration, a few marked with studio numbers, others had no markings. Directly in front of them was a huge water tower painted sunny yellow reaching toward the sky.

"Yakko, what's this line for anyway?" Dot asked, leaning against his leg and looking up at him with exhausted eyes.

"I don't know Dot; must be a tour of a new movie set or something."

"Faboo - we're gonna see a movie set?" Wakko asked beside him, trying to stand on his toes to see over the crowd in front of him.

"We aren't seeing anything apparently except the back of the toon's head in front of us." Yakko answered.

"Must be a really good tour," Dot said.

Yakko looked down toward her. "Probably expensive too - Wakko get back here," he said, grabbing at his brother's collar as he started to walk out of the line. "Look what happened the last time you wandered off!"

"Sorry. That duck is still outside-"

_Doesn't this guy have some real criminals to chase?_

"-what are we gonna do?"

"I know Wakko," he replied. Darkwing waiting outside the gate, plus the humans with radios outside the line walking around, were making him extremely uneasy. "Just relax OK? I'll think of something soon. I hope."

Yakko watched the men, all humans, walking up and down the line, talking on handheld radios and scanning the mass of toons. Must be working crowd control. Not that this crowd looked like it had any intention of getting rowdy; it was the quietest group of toons he had ever seen. Most of them were either looking anxious, excited, or muttering to themselves while reading off pieces of paper in front of them.

He had attempted to look over the shoulder of the dog toon in front of him, trying to see what was on the paper, but the dog had screamed at him to get his own shtick and then clutched the paper to his chest.

The crowd though was mostly rabbits and ducks; the dog in front of them was the only different animal in the group of toons within seventy-five feet of them.

Yakko watched the humans again for a minute before looking down again at Wakko.

"They're not leaving Yakko," he whispered loudly. "You don't think they're looking for us…do you?"

Yakko looked at him; he looked so scared that he sought to reassure him, even though he didn't know what the humans were doing either.

"Nah, I doubt it sib," he said while gently pulling Wakko in front of him, trying to use a large bunny toon to shield them from view. He picked up Dot, and cuddled her as he put his arm around Wakko's shoulder, wondering how much longer they would have to hide in this line.

A human to the left was staring at them while talking in his radio, and Yakko, already edgy, began stepping to the right, preparing to run if need be. There was a ton of buildings to the right; they could probably hide somewhere over there.

Yakko kept his eye on the human, who was now starting to walk toward them. Feeling dread well up inside him, he continued to push toward the right, hoping to stay out of sight long enough to make good an escape.

Backing up, still pushing into other toons, he stiffened when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Turning, he saw yet another human, a tall slim man wearing dark sunglasses, a blue suit and holding a radio gesturing toward him.

"Excuse me," the human said, "Can you come with me please?"

_Oh no…_

"What for?" Yakko asked as Wakko huddled behind him and Dot clung to his t-shirt.

"We have someone who wants to meet you-"

"Who?" Yakko shot back, already trying to scan for a way out of this mess. There were now seven different humans around the line, all looking at them. Quite a few of the toons were watching them as well, most looking angry, or more curiously, jealous.

"Just someone who spotted you in line. Thinks you guys look…interesting," the human replied. He held out his hand and Yakko jumped back, causing the human to add, "I assure you, this is all legitimate; you've done nothing wrong-"

"That you know of," Wakko muttered.

"Wakko hush-"

"Kids, come on; this could be your chance, not many people catch his eye like that."

_What the hell was he talking about?_

"It's why you're here right? There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Easy for you to say," Yakko said. "Where are we going?"

"Just to an office. Just follow me; you don't want to wait in this long line do you?"

Yakko looked at him, then looked behind him. Through the crowd, he could still see Darkwing and that other duck, whatever his name was. Those two really needed to find a hobby.

_No sense in hanging around here I guess._

"Got a point. Fine, lead the way."

Wakko was clinging to him so tightly he could barely move. "Let go Wak, and stay close-"

"I don't trust him Yakko; he looks like an undertaker!"

"I don't either, but I trust them even less," he said, gesturing toward the front gate. "We don't have a choice; we're surrounded right now. Let's just go, see what they want, and sneak out when and if we need too. They're not cops, and I'm not going to let them trap us, OK?"

_My siblings trust me to keep them safe…hope I'm making the right decision…_

Wakko looked from him to Dot. Yakko watched them exchange apprehensive looks, then nod.

Yakko took his hand, and followed the human out of the mob, cringing when he heard the human say into his radio, "I've got them sir, we're on the way now."

"Oh yeah, that sounds good," Dot muttered.

XXXXXXXXXX

The human, who had introduced himself as Joel on the walk to an administration building, held the door for them so they could enter. The other humans had gone back to surveying the crowd as they entered.

Yakko shivered as they stepped into the lobby. Whether it was from fear or from the blast of cool air he had yet to determine.

"Right this way kids," Joel said, leading them through the lobby of the building, stopping at the elevator and pushing the up button. "We're going up to the top floor; it's really nice up there. You can-"

"Just adore a penthouse view?" Yakko said.

Yakko looked at the pictures of various photos, movie posters, and screen shots on the walls, Wakko and Dot whispering to him and each other about the pictures.

Joel turned to them, curious.

"You know any of these movies kids?"

"Mother of Mercy, is this the end of Rico?" Wakko blurted out, pointing to a picture of Edward G. Robinson.

Yakko, smirking, nodded toward the movie poster for 'White Heat' while saying, "Made it Ma, Top o the world!"

Joel seemed impressed. "Don't see many kids, human or toon, who know these old movies." He looked at Dot. "I guess you're too young to know any of the old ones-"

Dot cut him off. "Nuh-uh, I know one!" Beaming, she pointed to a different poster and threw her head back, singing mostly in tune, "You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, the fundamental things apply as time goes by!"

Joel laughed and clapped as the elevator chimed, the doors slowly opening. "Very good little lady! Lovely singing voice."

"And cute too. Don't forget cute."

"Right - simply adorable. OK kids, let's head on up."

Yakko, momentarily distracted by the quote game and listening to Dot sing, grew agitated again as he stepped into the elevator, Wakko grabbing his tail lightly. Joel pushed the button marked fifteenth floor, and the doors closed, the elevator on its way.

"Hey Mister, where're you taking us?" Yakko asked, hoping to get some information out of Joel the almost toon-napper.

"You'll see in a minute kid-"

"I'd rather know now."

Joel looked at him. "You are one impatient toon."

"No, just a toon that wants to know where me and my siblings are headed for and if it's possibly dangerous."

"Not much dangerous around here, not really, though if you get the CEO of the animated division upset…"

"What's that mean?"

"Nothing," Joel said, chuckling. "Just relax; we're here."

The elevator chimed, signaling that the ride was at an end. If nothing else, they would at least find out who wanted to see them so bad.

As the door opened, Joel waved his hand for Yakko to step out in front of him. He did so, feeling a slight pull on his tail as Wakko continued to cling to it. Dot was looking around curiously, commenting that who ever had decorated this level had decent decorating taste.

Yakko had to agree. As he stepped off the elevator onto the thick dark blue carpet. A long hallway with walls of deep mahogany led to a large set of double doors, shiny brass handles gleaming in the overhead lights.

Joel stepped in front of them, walking briskly to the doors. Knocking twice, he stepped inside without waiting for an answer, standing in the doorway before motioning to Yakko to enter.

Taking a breath, Yakko began to step forward, one foot at a time, wondering what he was leading himself and his siblings into.

Entering the doorway, he found that they were in a very large conference room. In the far corner, he saw a blue screen set up against the wall, a video camera aimed at it. The windows took up the entire length of the wall, but as the blinds were all turned to the closed position, he couldn't see exactly where they were.

He felt Wakko immediately throw his arms around his waist, muttering something about finally getting to meet the wizard, and commence to hiding behind him.

Dot simply hid her face in his chest.

He had the feeling they were being watched, and he looked toward the left, seeing a long conference table, with enough seating for ten people.

There weren't ten people staring at them though. Three toons were looking at them. A fourth person was at the end of the table, but his back was turned from them; whoever it was was scribbling something on a credenza behind him, totally out of view.

Joel muttered a 'good luck kids' to them before quietly leaving the room, closing the door silently behind him.

Yakko watched him leave, then turned back to look at the three toons, glancing first at the two toons sitting on the right side of the table.

The first one, the one closest to them, was a large dark blue rabbit wearing a grey suit, a Daffy Duck tie that clashed horribly with it, and glasses. He gave them a friendly lop-sided smile.

Yakko felt the left side of his mouth cock up in his own half smile, hoping he didn't look like he was grimacing at the toon.

The second toon was a large beaver, wearing a white shirt, his large flat tail drumming out a tune behind him on the chair as he flipped through some papers, not even looking at them.

Across from them sat a short fat human toon wearing a blue jacket and red tie, a few tufts of white hair surrounding his fat jowls. He gave them a long look, then snorted, narrowing his eyes at them.

Yakko smirked at him.

_Guy looks like a jerk._

Wakko finally peered out from around his leg and Yakko glanced down at him. Wakko gave a small smile to the bunny, who grinned at him and then waved. Wakko smiled bigger and waved back. He spotted the human toon, who glared at his smile, and Wakko went back to clinging to his side.

Dot was looking at the rabbit, waving at him as well. The rabbit leaned over to whisper something to the beaver. The beaver looked up at them, nodded, then went back to flipping through his papers, not sparing them a second glance.

The human toon glared at her when she smiled and waved at him, and Dot shrugged.

Whoever was in the chair had still not turned around.

Yakko finally cleared his throat; it seemed like he was going to have to be the one to get the conversation rolling.

"Um, yeah. Hi. Someone here wanted to see us?"

_Hope I didn't sound too scared…_

"That would be me," the mystery person in the turned chair said, still not turning around. "Give me one minute to finish, OK guys?"

"Yakko," Wakko hissed, tugging on his shirt to get his attention. "I want to leave-"

"Me to Yakko," Dot said quietly. "I don't like this; could be a trap…"

"They're not TIS or the police, I can tell that much. For the time being, let's listen to what they want sibs."

"Sorry about that guys. Now," the mystery man in the chair said, "I'm the one responsible for yanking you out of that line. Not that I would think you would care overly much; it was pretty long."

The man turned enough so that Yakko could look at him. It was a bearded human wearing glasses who looked vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn't put a name with the face.

"Ehhhhhh….thanks."

"You're very welcome. Now, let me make some quick introductions before we begin-

_Begin what?_

"-beside me is Phil O'Grindy, a series writer."

The beaver glanced up again, gave a nod, then went to his papers, this time scribbling something.

"Next to him is Bernard Bunny, the new head writer."

The dark blue rabbit waved again, giving another smile. "Hi kids."

The human turned toward the portly human toon who was still glaring at them. "And this gentleman beside me is Thaddeus J. Plotz, the CEO of the animated division of Warner Brothers' studios."

Yakko looked at them, wondering what was going on. They were acting like he should know. He could feel Dot and Wakko's eyes on him, silently asking him the same question.

"Now, let-"

"Wait!" Wakko yelled his voice ringing throughout the room. "You didn't tell us who you were!"

Yakko watched as the human looked surprised for a second before throwing his head back and laughing. 'Phil O'Grindy' and 'Bernard Bunny' began to chuckle, and 'Thaddeus J. Plotz' narrowed his eyes at them.

"You must be joking! You honestly don't recognize this man?"

Wakko quickly went back to hiding behind Yakko, half peeking out from behind him. Yakko put his hand on his head and turned back to the group.

"Us? Joke? Naaaaaah. Now, can you tell us who you are? Without laughing at us of course."

"Unbelievable…got to be some sort of scam," Plotz said. He then muttered, "Or they've been living in a cave the last-"

"Calm down Thad, they're just kids," the rabbit said to him. He then turned back, looking directly at Yakko. "This man is one of the biggest directors and producers of the twentieth century."

"Explains it then doesn't it?" Yakko asked. "If he's a director or producer, he's behind the scenes; we wouldn't have seen him on the screen."

"You had to have seen him interviewed at least once-"

"On what, a rock?" Yakko muttered. He then said, "Sorry, we don't get to watch much TV."

"Oh, that's rich. And you want to be television stars?" Plotz said, snorting.

"We do?" Wakko whispered.

"I do! Where do I go?" Dot said.

"Hush Dot, let the nice people who escaped from Arkham Asylum talk," Yakko said quietly.

_Getting a bad feeling about this…you'd almost think we blundered into an audition the way these people were going on…_

Mr. O'Grindy looked at them, then said, "Mr. Spielberg-"

_Holy crap…Spielberg…ET, Indiana Jones, Goonies, An American Tail, Tiny Toons…_

Only a few hours ago they had been watching mallet fights and trying to decide if they wanted corn dogs or hamburgers for lunch. Now they were standing in front of one of the biggest names in Hollywood.

_Life's funny like that…what the hell did I lead us into?_

End Chapter 13


	14. Chapter 14

_I wanted to say thank you to everyone who left a review - I really do appreciate it._

_Chapter 14 -_ _Studio Protection_

"Mr. Spielberg," Mr. O'Grindy said again, "-I don't mean to question your judgment, but are you sure you want to go any further with-"

"I do Phil, trust me," he replied.

The beaver shrugged and went back to flipping through his papers and jotting down notes.

Yakko, already edgy, was growing annoyed with being talked about while he was standing right in front of them.

"We are right here you know; you could try talking to us-"

"Sorry kids," Mr. Spielberg said. "I for one appreciate your honesty. All the kids in here today have been gushing all over me and my movies. I hate that. So you three, how about some names from you?"

Yakko cocked an eyebrow, noticing Dot did the same maneuver. Wakko glanced up at him before looking at Spielberg and the others. Both his siblings were looking at him as if to ask if it was OK to give their names.

Sighing, not seeing any way out of it, Yakko finally responded.

"I'm Yakko."

"Wakko," his younger brother responded, still looking at the group, half hidden behind him.

"I'm Dot."

Spielberg continued to look at them thoughtfully stroking his chin. "Interesting names."

"Interesting indeed," Mr. Bunny said. "They're not stage names are they?"

_Stage names…they were in an audition. Ho boy…_

"No, birth names," Yakko said.

_Stage name…humph. I like my name._

"Probably aliases," Mr. Plotz muttered.

Mr. Bunny shrugged and began jotting down notes on the white pad in front of him. "I like them, they have unique appeal."

"Everything abut them is unique. What are they anyway? Some breed of dog?" Mr. O'Grindy asked, looking at Mr. Spielberg, who was sitting in his chair, seemingly listening to his writers.

"I was thinking of a type of cat hybrid," Mr. Bunny speculated, looking up from his pad at the eager beaver, who was now writing at a furious pace with his right hand and flipping through his stack of papers with his left. The rabbit went back to writing on his pad, even drawing some sketches.

Yakko was growing more annoyed with them again talking about them while they were standing right there. "What we are is here; you could just ask us you know-"

Finally Mr. Spielberg seemed to snap to life, saying, "That's part of the reason I had you taken out of line. I was coming back from a break when I spotted you three out in the street, taking on that costumed clown outside the gates before bouncing in. Even without that I probably would have noticed you."

"Why's that?" Yakko asked.

Spielberg raised a bushy eyebrow at him. "Did you happen to look at your linemates? Bunnies and ducks; three quarters of the toons out there are one or the other. No offense Bernie-"

"None taken," the rabbit replied good-naturedly, waving his hand in dismissal and not even looking up from his drawing.

"-but I'm growing tired of the same thing. Disney's got so many ducks clogging the airwaves you choke on feathers when you turn the TV on. We already have a duck and a pair of rabbits as established stars on Tiny Toons, not to mention two of our biggest legends going back to the very beginnings of the studio are a duck and rabbit."

Spielberg pointed a finger at Yakko, then Wakko, then back to Dot. "I'll be blunt and just say it; I have no idea what you guys are supposed to be-"

"Politer than you -" Yakko cut in, shifting Dot higher on his hip. "It's not nice to point ya know."

That didn't faze Mr. Spielberg, he just grinned and continued talking. "But I like that. You're unusual. You're different, you're-"

"Just weird looking," Mr. Plotz cut in. "They'll never sell Steven-"

"I don't know," Mr. Bunny cut in. He studied them for a second. "They sort of have the look of the old style of toons; you know, like Oswald or Koko the Clown-"

Yakko heard his brother let out a whimper when the rabbit mentioned 'Koko the Clown' and looked down at him, wondering if he had accidentally stepped on his tail or something.

"Yeah, that's us - straight out of the inkwell," Yakko jumped in. "This is an audition isn't it?"

"Oh wow," Plotz said snidely, "he's intelligent too.

_Jerk._

"Come on now Thad, don't be like that," Mr. O'Grindy said. "They're strange looking true-"

"Strange looking!" Dot exclaimed, so indignant her voice raised several octaves until it was almost a squeak. "I'm not strange looking. I'm just cute!"

"Right. Cute as a baby beaver dragging driftwood," he agreed.

"Ick," Dot muttered, twisting her face in disgust.

"Anyway," Mr. O'Grindy continued, "Think of the writing possibilities for them-"

"I am," Mr. Bunny said, holding up his pad. "I've already come up with a few script scenarios. Black and white toons - they look like they hopped right out of the twenties."

Yakko was quickly running through the options in his mind. They'd blundered into an audition. Not just any audition, an audition with Steven Spielberg himself. This office was nowhere near where they had been waiting in line; all those other toons were going into a large warehouse type building. Explained what Joel meant about not a lot of toons getting this chance.

They shouldn't have gotten this chance; none of them were actors. At best they could be labeled 'con artists'; him and Wakko anyway. Unfortunately, in a few years, despite his best efforts, he had a feeling that Dot would be one as well.

_Be really interesting if we could audition though...wonder how we'd do compared to the other toons, the professionally trained ones...be nice; this studio is large and powerful enough to do a guardian ad slavus...who am I kidding, we got to get out of here._

"Ehhhhh...think there's been a mistake. We weren't in that line to audition-"

"You weren't?" Mr. O'Grindy asked, looking up from his pad.

"Nope!" Wakko said happily. "We were hid-"

Yakko quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. "Ehhhhhhh, no. No, we thought it was the line to tour the lot-"

"I wanna audition anyway," Dot said in a wheedling tone.

"Hush Dot. Look, we'll be on our way – sorry for any confusion."

_Get out of here before we look like total retards..._

The three toons and Spielberg regarded them for a minute, then bent down in a huddle on the table, confirming with each other. Hopefully they could get out of here in a few minutes; Darkwing had to be gone. This was making him antsy.

Lifting his ears, he heard Plotz saying something about them wasting their time, Spielberg saying that something funny was going on, but they didn't look like they wanted to go on the lot tour. The rabbit was still talking about scripts and how they were a refreshing change from the snots, brats, and prima donnas that kept coming through the doors, and the beaver was shuffling through his papers again, talking to himself about scripts being available.

Mr. Plotz finally turned back to them.

"Have you had any professional training at all?"

"Depends on what sort of professional training you're talking about," Yakko shrugged.

_Dad was a professional pick-pocket; he trained me._

Mr. Spielberg stood up, and all eyes went to him. Even Dot and Wakko, who had been whispering quietly and making faces at each other turned to look at him.

"You kids seem eager to leave; how about reading some scenes for us anyway? The camera is here, and I'd still like to-"

Yakko felt both his eyebrows rise up in surprise. "Why? We just told you we didn't come to audition for-"

He stopped talking when Dot grabbed his ear, yanking it down to her mouth so she could whisper quietly.

"Let's do it anyway Yakko; it might be fun!"

"It might be dangerous too," he said quietly back to her. Looking down to make sure Wakko was paying attention, he continued, "I'm not nuts about us being on camera; it'd be different if we had some assurance that the film would never-"

Everyone wanted to talk over him today it seemed.

"How about a deal then kids?" the blue rabbit said, nodding at Mr. Spielberg before reaching into his hammerspace, pulling out a small metal tin that held some bright orange cards. "You read the scenes for Mr. Spielberg so we can keep him happy, and I'll give you passes for free lunch in the cafeteria."

"Food?" Wakko asked, his face lighting up. "Will there be candy too?"

Yakko slapped a hand over his eyes. Quickest way to Wakko's heart was through his sweet tooth.

Surprisingly, the rabbit seemed to think this was the funniest thing he had heard today, because he threw his head back, laughing. "You remind me of my son – huge sweet tooth. And yes, there's an extensive candy selection down there."

"I want some candy too Yakko," Dot said, turning her big liquidy eyes to him and grabbing his ears. "Can we do it...Please?"

_Great, she's doing the 'I'm so cute you know you can't resist me' look..._

"Pretty pretty please...whipped cream-"

_Here it comes..._

"-and a cherry?"

"Well..." he trailed off, feeling himself weakening. It could be fun. They weren't going to get hired anyway, but it would be neat to actually get some of the real 'Hollywood' experience.

"Come on Yakko; who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?" Wakko whispered. "Besides, we might see some stars – you like that Michelle Pfeiffer...might see her."

_Now that would be a treat._

The longer they were in there, the longer they were out of the 'mighty masked mallard's' sight. Maybe he'll give up soon, if he hadn't already.

Yakko sighed, feeling all resistance crumbling, and turned to Spielberg. "OK, fine, we'll do a few readings."

Spielberg clasped his hand together in satisfaction. "Excellent. OK now let's get this going."

"Can we have some candy first?" Wakko asked.

Yakko shook his head. "Can you think about anything besides candy?"

Wakko shook his head. "Not if I can help it."

Spielberg chuckled. "Once we're done you can have some. You're Wakko right?"

Wakko nodded.

Mr. Plotz muttered, "Crazy name for a crazy kid. "

The writers however seemed to be pleased with their monikers, because the rabbit rolled his eyes and the beaver said, "It's unusual. It's kind of cute-"

"No, that would be me," Dot said primly.

The two writers and Spielberg began to chuckle, and Dot turned to Yakko, frowning.

"Why's that funny?" she whispered.

Yakko shrugged again. "These Hollywood types; who can say? Just easily entertained maybe."

Mr. O'Grindy, who had been digging through his pile of papers after Spielberg whispered into his ear, finally pulled some sheets out. He handed them around so Plotz, Spielberg and Mr. Bunny would see. They nodded in approval.

"Mr. Spielberg has a scene here he'd like to see you try; the girl and the oldest boy first," the beaver said, going from being halfway friendly to all business in the space of a few seconds. He stood up to hand the sheets to Yakko and Dot. "We'll give you a few minutes to look over the script. You three are all too young to know who the Marx Brothers were-"

"Harpo!" Wakko exclaimed happily.

"Groucho and Chico," Dot said. "And sometimes Zeppo. He was cutest."

"We know who the Marx Brothers are," Yakko said, annoyed. He muttered to himself, "How ignorant did you think we are?"

"You know who the Mark Brothers are but you didn't recognize Steven Spielberg?" Mr. Plotz said in a nasty tone.

"Maybe if he had a painted on mustache and a big cigar I would have," Yakko shot back.

The rabbit snorted as Plotz glared at him.

"OK kids; Yakko right?" Spielberg looked at him as he nodded, then continued. "You'll be taking Groucho's role – you seem to be the mouthpiece of this group anyway. The little boy takes Harpo, since he just screamed his name a few minutes ago. The little girl can take Chico's role. If you know the Marx Brothers', you'll know the 'Sanity Clause' scene."

_Harpo's not really even in that scene. And Harpo doesn't talk; you'd think they'd give Wakko something where they could hear his voice too._

"Here," Mr. O'Grindy said, handing Wakko a few sheets of paper. "You can start looking over and preparing for the next scene if you want to kid; you'll be up next with your older brother."

Yakko looked down at the sheet for him and Dot; the 'Sanity Clause' scene from 'A Night at the Opera'. Thankfully Dot had just recently seen that movie at the theater with them a few weeks ago.

Telling her to only read the lines that said Fiorello, be began to read the entire thing, concentrating on the lines for Otis Driftwood.

This was a really talky scene; a lot of tricky lines and wordplay. He would probably do OK; he'd seen the movie a hundred times. Dot however had only seen it once, and would likely not be able to remember all the lines, especially with only looking over the script for a few minutes.

She was trying though, sounding out the words as she read the script.

Yakko looked down at Wakko's paper; his was almost blank...then he started laughing. Wakko's paper simply said to perform the mirror scene from 'Duck Soup'. He and Wakko could do that in their sleep.

He had one question though.

"How come Marx Brothers' scripts? The Marx Brothers never did anything with Warner Brothers."

Spielberg shrugged and smirked at him. "I happen to like the Marx Brothers. Besides, it throws people off. Everyone comes to the audition expecting to perform a scene from 'ET' or 'An American Tail'; this gives all of us a better idea on how someone would perform with a different medium. The show is going to be a comedy after all."

"If these reads go well, we each will choose a few other scenes and scenarios we'd like to see you perform anyway," Mr. Bunny said. "Maybe even a song or two. You'll be able to show us what you got."

Yakko watched as the rabbit leaned over toward the other three and then spoke again. "We'd like for you and the other boy to not use the scripts while you're auditioning; we'd like to see your face instead of the top of your head."

"It's more natural," Mr. O'Grindy added.

"And harder," Wakko muttered, standing on his toes to look at Yakko's script. "This is a lot of work; is lunch worth this?"

Yakko looked down at him as Dot continued to read the lines out loud quietly.

"Depends on how hungry you are."

"Really hungry."

"So be prepared to sing for your supper I guess."

"If need be, you can look at the scripts; it won't hurt your chances any," Mr. Spielberg added. "Especially...Dot was it?"

She nodded, beaming at having him remember her name.

"Relax Wakko," Yakko bent down to talk to him, still balancing Dot. "You'll do fine. Whatever you don't remember, we can fake our way through. It's not like we haven't worked together before."

"OK," Wakko said, looking worried.

"Come on, let's get this going."

With that, Yakko headed over toward the area where the camera was set up to help his sister with her lines, look at the equipment, and cross his fingers.

_I'm going to get an ulcer from doing this._

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko glanced down at his watch as Dot grasped Wakko's shirt, slowly pulling herself up to look in his face to say, 'You're despicable'.

Wakko cocked one eyebrow back at her and smirked, ending the final scene to be performed as the two writers and Spielberg clapped. He noticed Plotz even looked halfway impressed.

Over an hour of scenes read; his throat was going dry. He thought they would just have to do the two Marx Brothers scenes and they could leave.

_Oh no...that would have been too easy._

Either they had impressed them enough that they wanted more, or they were getting some sick perverse pleasure out of torturing them, because they had six more scenes to read, all from Warner Brother's productions this time.

First up were a couple scenes from 'Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves', chosen by Mr. O'Grindy. The Beaver had directed Yakko to take the Sheriff of Nottingham part, Wakko to take Robin of Locksley, and Dot to take Maid Marian.

Strangely enough, he had enjoyed playing the Sheriff; there was something to be said about playing a villain.

And personally, he thought Wakko played a better Robin Hood than Kevin Costner; at least he had a British sounding accent. Not to mention, Dot was a lot cuter Maid Marian.

Wakko and Dot hadn't been bad, Dot only having to look at her copy of the script a few times. Wakko had to look more often, but still, Yakko didn't think he did too bad, considering. As an added bonus, Wakko had confessed to liking to be able to beat up his older brother in a pretend sword fight.

After making it through that, Plotz had said he wanted to choose the next audition, and had chosen two different scenes from 'A Streetcar Named Desire', this time telling Yakko to take James Dean's famous role of Jim Stark, Dot to take Natalie Wood's part of Judy, and Wakko to take the role of Plato Crawford, played originally by Sal Mineo.

They hadn't done awful at that one either. Then again, he was biased, so his opinion didn't count.

Mr. Bunny had chosen the final scene for the audition, appropriately enough the famous 1952 short 'Rabbit Seasoning', the second in the famous Merrie Melodies 'Hunter Trilogy'. He requested that Wakko take Bugs, Dot take Daffy, and Yakko take Elmer Fudd. And it was requested that they not only perform the entire seven minute short, it was also requested that this time, they try to work without the script.

Dot and Wakko had turned terrified eyes to him and Yakko had looked back, telling them that they had seen this cartoon before and again if need be, ad lib. He had been doing it the entire audition with no major flubs, even earning a few laughs here and there from their audience. He noticed that Wakko and Dot had ad libbed a few times as well. No big deal – they couldn't be expected to memorize a script, especially for movies they had never seen before, in a matter of minutes could they?

Spielberg and Mr. Bunny requested that they each sing a few verses from a song, any song of their choosing.

Yakko chose 'Whatever It Is I'm Against It'.

Dot sang more of 'As Time Goes By', waltzing with herself around the floor.

Wakko sang 'The Bugs Bunny Show Theme Song', even attempting to perform the famous dance of Bugs and Daffy.

Dot, giggling, joined him in the dance, and Yakko jumped in too, all three of them performing the chorus again before ending, arms splayed. Yakko grinned as he watched his siblings collapse in a fit of giggling as everyone applauded, even Plotz, though his applause ended after a few seconds.

They weren't that bad really.

"Wonderful kids; great job," Mr. O'Grindy said. "Now, just for the record, could you please state your names and ages for the camera please?"

Yakko shrugged and went first, followed by Wakko, then Dot, who also stated you always saved the best for last.

Yakko rolled his eyes; she'd be a fine actress; she was already vain enough for it.

Spielberg's eyes widened slightly when he heard their surname, but he didn't say anything and Yakko frowned. Sure, their name was the same as the studio, but really, the name wasn't that uncommon, especially among the humans.

"Can we eat now?" Wakko asked, turning his gaze to the giant blue rabbit.

"Not quite yet, but soon," Spielberg answered before the toon could even open his mouth.

"Just give me a couple of minutes to speak with my colleagues and check a few things. Gentleman." He said, motioning for the Mr.'s O'Grindy and Bunny to follow him. "Thad, please stay with the children for a few minutes."

Mr. Plotz didn't seem pleased about being left behind, and Yakko quietly sighed as he watched the human and his two writers walk out of the room. Spielberg couldn't have left one of the nice toons in there with them; he had to leave the pompous glaring blowhard.

Wakko muttered, "I'm hungry now."

"Maybe they plan on trying to wiggle their way out of it," Dot mumbled.

"I know Wak," he said just as quietly back. "I'm sure we'll be eating in a few minutes. And Dot, after all we just did for them; I hope they don't try to cheat us out of a meal. I'll never watch another Batman movie if they do."

Yakko walked to a chair across from Plotz and sat down, Dot in his lap and Wakko leaning on his legs.

Yakko watched Wakko and Dot exchange a smirk, Dot give Wakko a nod and Wakko smiled, looking at Plotz.

_What are they up to now?_

"Hey Mister," Wakko said loudly. "Ya got any candy?"

Plotz gave him a hard look. "I do not-"

"You sure?" Dot asked. "You look big enough – you probably know where all the good candy is."

Yakko watched in astonished amusement as the toon's face grew several shades of red and the man began to sputter, "How dare you speak to me that way - do you know who I am?"

_Wow, this guy gets mad quick._

"No..." Dot and Wakko trilled together.

Yakko, amused, decided to step in. Why let his siblings have all the fun?

"Guys, he's the man with no candy," he said. In a loud stage whisper, he added, "You're too late; he ate it all already."

Plotz turned his angry glare from Wakko and Dot to him, and Yakko was delighted to see the man's eye twitching.

"I heard that you little smart mouth." The man began to mutter, "Of all the kids Steven had to set his eyes on-

Yakko interrupted him, snickering. "I know right? Guess he wanted the best." He watched Plotz's angry red color spill from his face to the top of his head and decided to see how far he could push the man before he finally exploded like a firecracker. "Don't worry Dumpty - we'll be out of your hair, what's left of it, before you know it."

That did it; the little man began to sputter, "What? Why - Why you - Dumpty. Hair! How dare-"

_This was fun._

His siblings were starting to laugh, and Yakko had to join in, saying, "Words? Sentence fragments – phrases! Idiot...sound...you-"

At this point, Plotz was livid, as indicated by the man hopping on the table to shake a fist at him. Yakko smirked up at him; the toon was only a few inches taller than Wakko.

_Must have that short man's complex._

"This is an outrage! Why I - I've never...oh..."

Dot, still sitting in his lap, started laughing harder. "Yakko, you broke him!"

"Keep going Yakko; maybe you can get him to jump up and down and turn a different color before he explodes!" Wakko added, standing on his toes to see over the edge of the table to better watch the show.

"Oh, if only Wakko." He turned to look at Plotz. "Look TP-"

"TP?" Wakko questioned, scratching his ear as he thought. "TP? Oh, like Toilet Paper, right?"

Yakko leaned back in the chair laughing, Dot shrieking in glee, as Plotz glared at Wakko. Wakko smiled back at him, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"What? You little disrespectful monsters! I'm going to-"

Yakko really wondered what he was going to do. However, Spielberg and the two writers reentering the conference room stopped his threat, and he looked embarrassed as the others smirked at him. Plotz grumbled something before crawling back down to his chair.

Yakko leaned over the table to whisper at him, "Yeah, I know. Principal's back; better pipe down."

Plotz opened his mouth to say something, then looked at the two grinning writer's and the producer and thought better of it, instead just gaping at Yakko like a fish before shutting his mouth again.

Spielberg finally spoke, managing to erase most of the grin off his face and tucking a large binder filled with papers under in arm. "Thanks for staying with them while we conferred and did a little research Thad."

"My pleasure...they're just little angels," Plotz said through gritted teeth. When he looked at them, Yakko gave the sweetest smile he could muster, noticing that Wakko and Dot followed his lead.

He found it funny; Plotz didn't seem to think it was quite as hilarious.

"Right now, Yakko...could I speak with you privately?" Spielberg asked him, giving him a weird look.

_This didn't sound good. Bet he's ready to kick us out, especially if he heard us picking on the little CEO._

"Bernie," Spielberg asked, directing his gaze to the tall rabbit, "Why don't you show Wakko and Dot some of the memorabilia and other items I have scattered around on the floor below?"

Mr. Bunny smiled and put his pad into his hammerspace before smiling and holding both his hands out. "Sure. Come on kids. Hey - you guys like Bugs? How about Batman? We got a working model of the Batmobile, a bunch of Bugs' old props and costumes."

Yakko looked down at Wakko and Dot. They had both frozen at the mention of going off with the rabbit, and were currently looking at him in confusion mixed with a little bit of interest.

He was growing nervous; why did he want to send them off?

"I give you my word that they're only going with me to the floor below," the rabbit said, looking him directly in the eye and not smiling this time. "At any time they want to come back to you, we come directly back."

Spielberg also nodded. "You have my word as well. I would like to talk to you since you are the oldest. The younger two might be bored by our conversation. I would simply like to speak with you and ask that you hear me out. If you don't like what I'm saying, you and your siblings are free to go, no questions asked."

Yakko looked from them down to his siblings again, their anxious but curious faces looking back up at him. He didn't even need to ask; they didn't want to leave, but at the same time, they wanted to see what the rabbit was going to show them.

Finally, Yakko nervously nodded his permission to them, and Wakko gave one final squeeze to his knees before bolting toward the rabbit. Dot stood in his lap, giving him a kick in the stomach and hugging his neck before jumping to the floor to follow her brother.

When they reached the head writer, they each took one of his hands as he began to lead them out the door of the conference room, asking them about what movies they liked and talking about upcoming movie projects the studio was working on.

The beaver gave a nod to everyone in the room before taking his leave as well, closing the door quietly behind him, and then Wakko and Dot were out of sight. He was now alone in the room with a half crazy toon and one of the most famous directors in the world.

Yakko fidgeted in his chair, already wondering if he made a mistake. He was always telling his siblings to never talk to strangers, and here he was sending them off with one. What had he been thinking?

He was getting ready to stand up out of the chair, grab Wakko and Dot and get out of there when Spielberg walked across the room, sitting in the chair at the head of the table near him, and spoke.

"Yakko, I realize that my sending your brother and sister out may seem disconcerting, but I assure you, nothing will happen to them. Bernie will watch them like they are his own. But I wanted them out; mostly because I'm afraid my conversation with you may frighten them."

"What are you talking about?" Yakko asked him suspiciously, resting his right hand in the chair, closer to his hammerspace.

He didn't plan on trying to brain either of them...but just in case.

"If I may be blunt-"

"Only if I can still be Yakko."

Spielberg smirked. "Ever the master of wordplay."

"He's just a wise ass kid," Plotz muttered.

Spielberg shrugged. "If used correctly, it's a valuable talent. Wise ass kids sometimes grow up to be very funny comedians, producers, writers...even CEO's of major studios, right?"

Plotz looked a bit chagrined with this statement, and Yakko quietly smirked to himself before steering the conversation back. This was growing too weird for him.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but can we get to the point please? I don't like my sibs wandering around with a stranger...no offense. I know you trust him, but still."

Spielberg nodded, looking serious. "Very well."

Yakko watched him open the long blue binder, and felt himself growing pale under his fur. The binder was filled with Toon Inquiry Services' wanted and missing posters, all encased in their own clear plastic page protectors.

As he was flipping, Spielberg continued to speak.

"When I first saw you, I was of course intrigued. Your mannerisms, two boys and a girl, your look, so like the old inkblot creations at the very beginnings of animation. There's not that many that look like you guys running around...which can be both good and bad. Good in that it gets you noticed; bad in that it lets people remember you. Which is why I pulled Bernie and Phil out to look with me, just to make sure."

He stopped flipping, holding the book open with three fingers on three separate posters. "When I heard your names, the unusual first names with the surname 'Warner', I knew I had seen you before somewhere..."

He trailed off and moved the book closer to Yakko, who felt his fur starting to bristle and his stomach knot. Spielberg was pointing to three separate posters with them listed on them, one even listing crimes against him.

Yakko felt his muscles starting to tense and he prepared to grab his mallet, smashing his way out of the room if necessary. He had to grab his siblings and make a break for it. And this time, they were leaving the area and never coming back - he'd try to figure out where later.

Plotz saw him and glared, already anticipating his actions. "Don't think about it inkblot; I've got a mallet too."

Spielberg raised his hands to Yakko. "Don't worry Yakko. Toon Inquiry Services sends the posters to all major studios, ad agencies, modeling agencies, every agency they can trip across. Everyone in the Hollywood area has these posters. At a hundred dollar bounty per child returned, most of the hunters for TIS make sure these posters are seen by as many people as possible; you had to have seen them littering walls and light poles throughout the city. I personally don't approve of bounty hunters, so rest assured that I will not be turning you in. I just want to talk; are you willing to listen?"

Yakko looked at him, still in the position to run. Looking at the man's face again, he nodded. He doubted Spielberg needed the three hundred dollars that the Warner hides would bring in. And the director didn't seem inclined to reach for a phone to turn them in…unless he had already done it and was just killing time until they arrived…

"You, Wakko, and Dorothy-"

"Dot," he corrected automatically.

"Fine, Dot. All of you are wanted runaways. The notices also say something about theft-"

"Oh good heavens Steven, thieves?" Plotz muttered, mostly to himself.

"-breaking and entering, a few various other minor charges, assault on an Inquiry employee," Spielberg said, talking as if Plotz just did not say anything. "Who did you three assault?"

"It was just me; I malleted someone who was in the way of me getting my sister back."

"Theft?" Spielberg asked, raising his eyes from the notice to look at him.

"Toons' gotta eat," Yakko replied, embarrassed and angered that the man was quizzing him.

_Who does he think he is? Probably planning on making a movie out of it._

"Thieves? Runaways? Breaking and Entering? Assault? Various other charges?" Plotz asked, growing louder with each word out of his mouth. "Now really Steven, do we need this sort around? They weren't even that good!"

"We weren't that bad either. TP," Yakko said, smirking at the man.

"Be that as it may, we don't need that kind of publicity-"

Spielberg calmly raised his hand, and both Yakko and Plotz fell silent.

"Despite this knowledge, I think you and both your siblings did well in the audition. Of course, you are rough, and would need a lot of additional training to hone your skills before-"

"What are you saying?"

_He can't be saying..._

"I have discussed it with both my writers. I wish to hear Mr. Plotz's thoughts. A few other people would need to view your audition tapes before a final decision can be announced. However, I liked what I saw. And since my decision is the only one that matters..."

"My thoughts? Steven, please! You can't be serious-"

"Name one private audition today who you thought was better."

Plotz sputtered, 'hemming' and 'hawing' before finally growing quiet.

Spielberg turned back to Yakko. "With training, hard work and dedication, I think you three could be perfect as the new hosts."

Yakko narrowed his eyes at him, sure he was either hearing things or he was a contestant on the New Gong Show.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I'm not sitting through another audition today. I feel I've found the perfect hosts and starring roles for the newest animated feature I'm producing. After this, I'm going to the other studio executives to show them the audition tapes, but since final decision is left to me, I doubt you'll be turned down."

Yakko was glad he was sitting; if he wasn't, he knew he would have face dived to the floor. He hadn't even considered that they would make it in the running, let alone Spielberg saying he was done with auditions, he wanted them.

Yakko started laughing. "OK, OK. Where's the hidden camera? You can't be serious."

"If I wasn't serious, you wouldn't be sitting here across from me. I'm way too busy to waste my time."

"Look, Mr. Spielberg," he said, hoping he sounded polite enough. "This is all really…uh, neat, but you've got the posters in your hand, you know we're wanted-"

Spielberg shrugged. "Ways around that isn't there? I trust you're familiar with the _guardian ad slavus_?"

"Now Steven! Mr. Spielberg, I must protest! We haven't done that in years-"

"So?" he replied. "The studios don't do it often, but it is an option isn't it? Disney did it for that little bear cub; quite a few extras on their afternoon block are also under-"

"That's Disney," Plotz scoffed. "They're a bunch of bleeding hearts anyway. But I don't know if the studio should take this sort of risk."

Yakko listened to them go back and forth for a few minutes, Plotz looking agitated, Spielberg still calm.

Finally Yakko decided to break in; the sun would be down before they stopped. Besides, Spielberg could tell him more about the _guardian ad slavus_. Goose had mentioned it to him, his memory of that last conversation with her as fresh in his mind as if it had happened yesterday.

He could hardly believe he was still listening to this. Three street children being considered as the headliners of a new television show at one of the biggest studios in the world? Rags to Riches; he felt like 'Cinderfella'.

"What exactly do you have in mind Mr. Spielberg?"

"You three are obviously wanted, badly; I've seen your faces on no less than six posters. You left the system sometime in September, correct?" he asked, looking at a poster.

Yakko nodded, his glance going from Spielberg to Plotz, then back again. Plotz didn't seem happy, but he was no longer in high dudgeon. Instead, he was leaning back in the chair, watching him with narrowed eyes.

"What have you been doing since then?" Plotz finally asked him.

"Wandering. Staying out of the way of TIS and the authorities, making sure my sibs were well fed and cared for as much as possible."

"Haven't you ever wanted something more though Yakko, for yourself or your family?" Spielberg asked. "A chance to get an education, not worrying about where you were going to sleep that night or what you were going to eat, what was going to happen if you got hurt, one of your siblings getting sick? The chance to have a future?"

"A future that doesn't involve jail or a stay at Panic?" Plotz added grudgingly, looking at Spielberg and shrugging before turning back to Yakko.

"Of course I want that. I'm also old enough and realistic enough to know that wishing upon a star isn't going to make that possible," Yakko replied.

"The studio can help with that, protection, education, training…" Plotz trailed off, yielding the table back to the human.

"What; singing and dancing lessons?"

"More than that," Spielberg said, jumping back in. "Every child who works on this lot is required to get schooling; a human law I am happy to say the studio enforces on all toon minors at this studio. I'm assuming that your education in toon theory is limited, no doubt your basics as well."

"Yeah, well, hard to get a tutor on the streets."

"We can help with that," Plotz said before clamping his mouth shut.

"We don't have the money to-"

"You would be paid; all three of you," Spielberg said, cutting him off with a wave of his hand. "This is a job offer after all."

"Your pay would be decreased of course with the costs of tutors," Plotz said, jumping in. "Or any damage you three cause," he added with a mutter.

Spielberg continued. "Find the tutors, help with the costs. Between that and protecting all of you from TIS…they could never take any of you, not on the lot. Not off the lot either if you have a studio sanctioned chaperone. Do you understand?"

Yakko nodded hesitantly. This could be a dream come true, if it was all legitimate and he was understanding everything correctly.

He asked, "Can you explain more about the _guardian ad slavus_? What does it entail?"

Spielberg looked at Plotz and nodded to the toon, and the angry little CEO began to speak.

"A _guardian ad slavus_ is a contract between a studio and a toon minor; in your case, three minors. The studio would assume a type of guardianship over you. We would become responsible for your education and well being to Toon Inquiry Services; they in turn take you off the posters and call their hunters off, at least when you are with a chaperone. If any of you were stupid enough to leave the lot without the chaperone and were picked up by a hunter however, we would not be able to assist you. You would be absorbed into the system. In this case, on the lot you, Yakko, as the oldest, would be responsible for controlling yourself and your siblings. Off the lot, you would be required to behave in a way that reflects properly upon the studio. This contract is not to be entered into lightly."

_Protection, a job, their own money earned honestly, an education, hell, maybe fame…_

"What if the show's not a success?" Yakko asked.

"This contract would be good until you turn eighteen Yakko," Spielberg said, ignoring Plotz's sputtering. "At that time, if you were interested, you could petition the court system of ToonTown, get these juvenile charges dropped. You could probably even gain permanent custody of your younger brother and sister if you were interested."

_Of course I'm interested._

Yakko leaned back in the chair, thinking. He had always wanted an opportunity to do something better for himself and his siblings. Street children don't often get this type of offer. This human, even the little toon who was currently sputtering like a stopped up tea kettle in Spielberg's ear, were basically handing them an opportunity on a silver platter. All three of them could get an education, no doubt a good one, since they would be representing the studio, who would not want them looking like idiots and embarrassing their image.

He was ready to see a contract and talk pay. However, oldest or not, it wouldn't be fair to make this decision without discussing it with the other two thirds of the group.

"I need to talk to my siblings before saying yes."

"I respect that. I wanted to show the audition tapes to a few other people and toons anyway. You and your siblings were hungry. Why don't you go talk to them over lunch in the cafeteria? I will send someone to get you in two hours to meet and discuss this further?"

Yakko nodded as Spielberg stood, holding out his hand. Yakko looked at it for a second before standing and shaking it. Plotz held out his own hand finally, standing in the chair to do so, and Yakko, smirking, shook it as well.

_I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship._

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko watched Wakko and Dot, sitting across from him at a table, eating their chicken fingers before gazing around the studio cafeteria, again. Amazing the wide variety of humans and toons in there. Many of them were recognizable. A few members of the cast of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' and 'Family Matters' had been leaving the cafeteria when Mr. Bunny had escorted them down. The oldest girl from 'Full House' had been sitting at a table talking to the blond loon from 'Tiny Toons'.

All this amid the unknown crew members, supporting cast members and other employees not directly working on a stage; makeup people, accountants, writers, film editors, secretaries…

Yakko turned his eyes back to Wakko and Dot, taking a long drink of his soda as he did so. They were both finished eating. He had tried eating his own hamburger, which was very good, but had only been able to swallow a few bites. Shock, excitement, and nerves didn't exactly stimulate his appetite.

_No time like the present._

"Guys, we need to talk."

Both siblings turned to him, eyes curious.

"About what? And how come they wanted to just talk to you?" Dot asked. "What's wrong with us." She winced when Wakko burped in her ear. "Me anyway?"

"Yeah! You missed seeing a lot of neat stuff," Wakko said enthusiastically. "He had a little model set of the city of Gotham-"

"I'll survive missing it," he said. He leaned down across the table toward them, pushing the empty plates away. "Siblings, that man, Mr. Spielberg, he liked our audition."

"He should have," Dot said. "We were good."

"He didn't think it was merely good, he thought it was great," Yakko said to her.

"Did Toilet Paper like it too?" Wakko asked.

"I don't think TP likes much honestly-"

"With a name like Toilet Paper it's no wonder," Dot said.

"Look sibs," Yakko said, trying to keep his voice serious enough and loud enough to be heard over their giggling. "They liked it enough they want to…maybe give us a show."

That stopped the giggling. Wide eyed, they both turned to look at him.

Then they laughed.

"Good one Yakko," Wakko said, laughing hard enough that tears were coming out of his eyes.

"Yeah, almost fooled me big brother," Dot agreed. Managing to pull herself together, she asked, "So, where do we go now Yakko?"

They didn't believe him. OK, fine, he didn't believe it himself hardly, but still…

"I'm not joking you two."

They looked back at him, their laughter starting to die off.

Dot looked at him with shining eyes and asked, "You're serious?"

"As serious as teenage acne." Yakko took a deep breath and continued. "Sibs, this could be it. They want to start a new show, with us in it."

"Why?" Wakko asked. Dot smacked him on the arm. "Ow! I'm serious now! Why us?"

"It's clear Wakko, you're just too dumb to see it - we're special!" Dot exclaimed.

"I'm not dumb you snot."

"Moron."

Yakko rubbed his temples. "Guys, knock it off. Wakko, you're not dumb. Dot, you're not a snot. Now, if we could please get back to the matter at hand?"

They both grumbled, but nodded.

Yakko continued. "He seems to think we have talent, we're special. We'll have to work hard of course, but with some training, we could do really well. I told him I wouldn't accept any deal without talking to you two."

They both beamed at him and he refrained from smirking; they were pleased that he was considering their thoughts. Good.

"This is an extremely important decision; we can't make this lightly. We're on the verge of getting a contract for a television show. We could become stars if the show is a success."

He checked to make sure they were both still paying attention to him. They were, their ears cocked up, for once they weren't fidgeting, looking around, talking…

Continuing, he said, "We'll finally be able to get trained properly, in all forms of Toon Theory, not to mention the basics, the studio will get us tutors-"

Wakko cut him off, looking upset and sitting straight up. "What's wrong with you? You've done OK teaching us!"

"Yeah!" Dot chimed in, eyes narrowing at him. "You've done OK with everything! We know how to read, TIS hasn't got us yet, and you're helping me find my hammerspace…"

Touched, he held up his hand and she trailed off.

"But I'm limited on what I can teach you guys. My own skills are spotty at best. And honestly guys, I'm not sure where we can hide next. One of these days, I might get hurt, I could slip up, and TIS hunters could be there waiting…"

_A daily nightmare._

"With the show, we'd get paid-"

"How much?" they both asked as one.

"I have no idea, we didn't even talk about that yet. But an education, a television show, a home, some protection…it could be the thing to help us. At the same time, you should hear what all that will involve, so everyone can make a good decision."

"Like what Yakko?"

Yakko thought about how to phrase it so both of them would understand what they were getting involved in.

"Well, our freedom would be limited. You know how we used to decide to go to the beach, and we would just go? Or to a movie? We're not going to be able to just do it anymore. Once we agree to this, we have to sign a contract called a _guardian ad slavus_. We won't be able to leave the lot without a chaperone. We'll always be watched. Once we actually get a tutor, we're going to be spending a lot of time learning lines and studying. The hours of shooting are going to be long and hard work-"

"This doesn't sound like much fun to me," Wakko grumbled.

"Yeah Yakko, this sounds really hard."

Yakko frowned; he figured they both would be jumping on the chance.

"You wanted to be a singer and dancer Dot; that's a lot of hard work too. You think those people in that play we saw, or the actors in the movies we go see just hopped up there and did everything in an hour? Look guys, no matter what you want to do, it's going to involve hard work. You didn't find your hammerspace right away did you Wakko? That took several months of work. How about you Dot? You've been working on it for over a month, and you still haven't found it have you?"

He winced slightly as her eyes started filling with tears.

"OK, that came out wrong Dot, sorry." She sniffed, but nodded her head. "Look, the point I'm trying to make is we've got an opportunity to actually do something, make something of ourselves. Dot, I don't know a thing about singing and dancing; these tutors and coaches could teach you correctly. Wakko, you wanted to learn a few different instruments; this might be your chance. Studying and homework and memorizing lines doesn't sound fun, sure, but this might be the thing to get the hunters off our back once and for all. If they ever catch us again - and it's always a possibility, we're going to be split up, and we will lose one another this time."

Dot nodded again, looking far more serious than her age. "And you want to do this?"

Yakko hesitated, then nodded. "I think it bears serious consideration at least."

"Well, I'd like to get a real singing teacher…and I don't want to be taken away again."

Yakko nodded, having her answer, then cut his eyes to Wakko. He had fallen silent and appeared to be thinking, his eyes staring off in the distance beyond Yakko's shoulder.

Wakko gave a slight twitch and cut a small smile toward Yakko, tongue hanging out of his mouth and slowly nodded.

"OK sibs, no turning back. Once I say we're all in agreement, we can't back out, capiche?"

Both siblings nodded.

"OK, let's get some cake to celebrate, and we wait here for one of Mr. Spielberg's associates to come get us. We'll go back and tell him he's got three new hosts."

XXXXXXXXXX

As promised, one of Mr. Spielberg's associates came back after a few hours to escort them back to the penthouse conference room.

The next six hours were some of the longest of his life. Back in the conference room, he and his siblings had to talk to several different studio executives both human and toon, writers, a few lawyers, and Spielberg and Plotz again.

They had been tested, quizzed, asked question after question to see what they knew, what they didn't know, interests they had, any talents, and some additional tests to try to determine how quick they learned. He felt like a science project.

Dot had grown irritable around hour two, Wakko followed around hour four, and they had finally fallen asleep; Dot in his lap, Wakko with his head resting on his arms on the table. When they had collapsed in an exhausted slumber, it had fallen to him to continue to answer questions about their past, their life in the system, their parents…he had been afraid it would go on all night.

Finally, the entire table had been in agreement. The Warners were officially hired. The paperwork for the _guardian ad slavus_ had been drawn up, and Yakko, with a deep sigh, had taken pen to paper, relief and nervousness coursing through him. For better or worse, he had signed them over to the studio for the next five years, until he turned eighteen.Spielberg, Plotz, and the other CEO of the studio on the human side, had signed after him. The paperwork would be sent to a judge in ToonTown to be signed, certified, and entered into the court's record.

At least after that, they wouldn't see their faces on any more wanted posters.

After that was more talking, this time about the show's contract; this contract was for a two year time period. Then even more talking, this time mostly with the attorneys and accountants, discussing pay, schedules, accounts, laws, California's 'Coogan Law' - something else for him to do; he would have to ensure that fifteen percent of each of their earnings went into this trust fund. He had been told that as the oldest, he was only going to be responsible for any negotiating, at least until they were able to obtain an agent if he so desired.

He would also be responsible for making sure they adhered to the rules of the _guardian ad slavus_; going to any and all classes, keeping their grades up, making sure they showed up at shoots on time with their lines learned…off the lot, they were to behave in a manner that would not reflect negatively on the studio or their own images. As of this moment, they could never leave the studio without a studio sanctioned chaperone; the studio would begin to choose who they would be after the holidays.

Yakko had shrugged; he was responsible for them regardless. It really wasn't that big a change than their lives prior to being at the studio.

There had been some additional discussion about pay. Wakko and Dot would be earning the same, he would be earning slightly more, due to the writers already deciding that he would probably have the most lines, he was also going to be the negotiator and the one responsible for the team and would be the one spending the most money. Some nameless executive had called it a small stipend for living allowances.

With it being so close to the holidays, the executives and the other 'handlers' as Yakko had taken to calling them had stated that it would probably be early January before they would begin finding tutors and beginning any training.

Finally, someone noticed the time, and they came to another realization; no one had thought of where to put the three new hires for the night. Another nameless writer, having gone faceless the previous hour because Yakko was so tired he couldn't remember anything at that point, had suggested the extra dressing rooms on the lot, usually reserved for extras to rest and get ready for shoots.

They were working on a few ideas for a more permanent home for the three of them on the lot. It was hinted at that a few writers had already come up with an idea.

Picking up Dot and shaking Wakko awake, he had stood and shook hands with several people, knowing that he would remember none of these people come morning. He had a very large pile of papers thrust into his hands, and had heard something about Coogan's Law, trust, contract, pay, and writers already working on scripts.

At ten o'clock that night, a security guard had led them to a grey one level motel looking structure on a back part of the lot that reminded Yakko of a classy crack house. Handing him a key to room four, the security guard had wished them a pleasant evening and disappeared into the night.

Yakko, holding Dot with his right arm, led Wakko up the four stairs and down the wooden porch to the room, looking at the building. No lights were on in any of the rooms they passed; it looked abandoned and forgotten, like so many places they had stayed in the past. They should feel right at home.

Opening the door and flicking on the lights, Yakko looked inside. It didn't look that bad, it was clean anyway, if a bit worn looking. From the bronze and brown color scheme, he guessed it hadn't been redecorated since the seventies.

Walking in and waiting for Wakko to stumble in, he shut the door, locking it and looked around. There was two double beds, a long dresser with a small television, and a bathroom. Compared to where they had been staying the past year and three odd months, it was quite luxurious.

Wakko staggered to a bed, threw himself across it, and went back to sleep.

Shaking himself awake, Yakko put the stack of paperwork on the dresser, resolving to look at it in the morning. He laid Dot down in the bed closest to the bathroom, covering her with the stiff gold comforter. He positioned Wakko correctly in the bed then collapsed beside his brother, falling asleep before his head hit the pillow.

XXXXXXXXXX

December 22, 1992

_Have to give it to Warner Brothers Studios; their cafeteria had good food._

Stomach full, Yakko led his brother and sister from the cafeteria. Thankfully, until they actually earned any money, the studio was allowing them to eat meals for free there. The _guardian ad slavus_ was pretty handy.

He held the door for his siblings. As he glanced up into the cafeteria, he almost dropped the door on them he was so surprised. Coming in on the other side of the cafeteria, he spotted several toon stars; Bugs Bunny, Buster Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Yosemite Sam, all getting into line to get food. He was tempted to go back; he had always wanted to meet Bugs, and they had missed hearing him speak at the toon convention.

Sam looked up briefly and spotted him. The toon's eyes narrowed and Yakko stared back, wondering if he recognized him. He knew Sam didn't get that great a look at either Dot or him, but he had gotten a good look at Wakko, and Wakko looked a lot like him. And like Spielberg said, they were unusual enough looking that Sam could easily spot the resemblance.

Yakko swallowed, waiting to see what would happen next. To his surprise, the man gave a slight shake of his head, as if clearing a vision, then turned and got into line again.

Yakko gave a slight frown. Seeing Sam reminded him of something else that had been weighing on his mind the last few days; he still had to at least talk to Wakko about the whole fiasco at the convention. Wandering off like that, then grabbing a wallet? At the very least he needed a stern talking to.

He'd deal with it later, after Dot was distracted or asleep. No sense dragging her into it.

Dot was skipping beside him, and finally looked up to ask him, "What are we gonna do now Yakko?"

_The same thing we've done for the last three days unfortunately; go back to our room, come out for meals, then back to our temporary abode until time for the next meal. _

_It was pretty boring._

"You still have to practice Dot; you want to find your hammerspace right?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So, we can work on that for a while."

"What about me?" Wakko asked. "I don't need to do that."

"You still need to practice your Fritzing, and I could have sworn you were supposed to be writing a paper for me on a newspaper article-"

"I did that already," Wakko said.

"A paper saying 'I read an article and it was boring' wasn't what I was going for," Yakko replied, ignoring Wakko's frown and Dot's snickering. "The idea was for reading comprehension and to practice your writing skills. I was hoping for something more in-depth."

"Should have said that," Wakko muttered.

"I'm saying it now - you can rewrite the paper - at least give me half a page on the article you read."

"Can I do it later?"

Smirking, Yakko said, "Later, like when we walk in the door? Sure!"

"Later, like tonight?"

"You can do that too; then you can write two papers."

"Alright, jeeze. I'll do it now."

Yakko smirked and pulled out the key to their temporary home as they climbed the steps. It wasn't that bad really. It was a roof over their heads, they could take showers nightly; they even had basic cable.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, Dot had fallen asleep, worn out from her constant effort trying to find her hammerspace. Yakko was sitting on the bed beside her, still making his way through the stack of paperwork. Currently he was reading paperwork for the company credit union. With the _guardian ad slavus_, he would be allowed to sign the documentation, even underage, to open accounts for the three of them.

Fifteen percent of their earnings had to be placed in a trust account per 'Coogan's Law'; the rest would go into savings, at least for the time being. No way was he going to give a five and eight year old that kind of money. They'd spend it all on video games, dolls and candy without thinking about the future. Giving them an allowance, at least for now, would probably be the wisest course of action.

Glancing over toward the other bed, he noticed Wakko was finishing his second attempt at writing a summary of the chosen article. From this angle, it looked like Wakko had at least written more than a sentence or two.

Wakko gave a relieved sigh and looked up at him.

"Finished. Now can I go outside?"

_If I'm going to talk to him, now would probably be the time; Dot's asleep._

Looking up, Wakko was already across the room and opening the door.

"Ah ah…hold it right there."

Wakko stopped at his words and turned, giving him his best 'I didn't do anything' face.

"What? I rewrote the paper; it's even over half a page this time."

That was true, but with Wakko's messy scrawl, it was going to take him an hour to figure out what he wrote.

"We still need to talk about what happened Saturday."

Wakko swallowed, but nodded his head.

Yakko stood and walked toward him. "Let's go outside. I don't want to wake Dot up with this."

Biting the corner of his lip, Wakko opened the door, stepping onto the porch in front of him.

"Sit."

Wakko sat down, perching himself on the top step and not looking at him.

"What were you thinking the other day huh? Walking off like that-"

"I didn't walk off Yakko…I got separated from you and Dot."

_Yeah, and you biting your lip and not looking at me really makes me believe you._

"Ehhhhh…try again. Without lying this time."

"I did get separated from you," he muttered. "Just when I got back toward you, you and Dot were looking at all those boring displays, and there was so many left-"

"Look I know it was a boring exhibit," Yakko said, cutting him off. "Trust me; I could feel my roots growing I was so bored. But you know better - I was pretty explicit when I said to stay close."

Wakko hurriedly nodded, looking anxious to get the conversation over with. "I know, I'm sorry, really. I won't do it again."

"You better not; you could blow this whole deal we've got with the studio. From now on, you go anywhere, you tell me, do you understand?"

Wakko nodded again, muttered 'sorry', and started to stand up.

"Ah ah…we're not done yet. Sit your butt back down."

Grumbling under his breath, Wakko looked at him but sat down, looking more nervous than before.

"Now about your loose fingers at the convention-"

"I'm really sorry about that, I didn't mean for him to see me-"

"But he did Wakko!" Getting slightly angry at him, Yakko tried to keep his voice level. "Do you even realize what could have happened? If that masked moron had caught you-"

'I know…look, I'm really sorry; I know you told me not to do it, and I did it anyway-"

"Like usual with you. I told you, you're too little and you don't pay enough attention - you could have been caught! We all could have been caught!"

"I said I was sorry, and-"

_He sounds so guilty…but if I don't pound this into his head now, I'm never going to get through._

"Look, don't be sorry, just don't do it again." Yakko bent down to look in his eyes, putting his hand on Wakko's shoulder. "The thought of something happening to you, or you being taken, scares me to death."

"I know."

"Look, I know that you got sort of mixed signals for a long time; Dad telling you it's OK, me telling you it's not OK. Then I turn around and start training you and having you work with me. I'm sorry for that, you have no idea how sorry I am that either of us were caught up in this. But do you understand what we were doing, we don't have to do that anymore right?"

"Yes," Wakko said quietly.

"From now on, I think we'll be better off. We won't have to keep stealing to make sure we can eat and try to stay alive. I kept all those wallets for a reason. At some point, we'll start repaying what we took back to the people."

"OK."

Wakko was fidgeting on the step, not meeting his eye and biting the corner of his bottom lip. Yakko sat back on his heels and waited. Usually this meant that Wakko wanted to tell him something, but was trying to decide how to formulate what he wanted to say.

"I still have it, Yosemite's wallet," Wakko finally muttered, so quietly that Yakko thought he had misheard him.

Yakko looked at him, eyebrows raised as Wakko reached into his hammerspace, pulling out a long thick wallet.

"I didn't throw it when you told me to," he continued, talking quicker when he glanced up at Yakko. "I was going to, but there was so many toons around and I didn't know if he'd actually get it back. Then we were sailing through the air and the duck was chasing us and shooting things and people were yelling…" He trailed off, catching his breath before saying softly, "I'm sorry…I panicked and just put it in my hammerspace. I didn't know what to do and then with everything that happened I didn't know how to tell you."

Yakko listened to the whole confession, letting his brother talk without interrupting him, nodding when he hesitated at certain portions to encourage him to continue talking.

On one hand, he was annoyed with his younger brother. He had told him to not take anything, and he didn't listen. Then he told him to throw it back at their pursuers, and he didn't listen then either.

On the other hand, he was actually very proud of his brother; he had confessed what he had done, even though he wouldn't have gotten caught. Up until this conversation, the thought that Wakko had not tossed the wallet hadn't entered his mind.

"I didn't take any money out, I promise! It's all there."

Pleased with his brother's growing maturity, he said, "I believe you Wakko. I can't say that I'm pleased about you not listening, again, but I'm proud of you for at least telling me. You're taking responsibility for what you did."

_God I sound like Charles Ingles._

Trying not to grimace at that thought, he crossed his arms and looked at Wakko.

"What did you plan on doing with it?"

Wakko shrugged, still looking anxious. "I don't know, I didn't think that far out. Maybe just stick it in a mailbox…his address is on the license. The postman could bring it to him, right? Or maybe leave it in the cafeteria…"

"Can you think of another option?" Yakko asked, trying to prod him in the right direction.

Wakko continued to look at him with wide eyes.

Trying again, hoping his brother would come to the conclusion on his own, he added, "He was here on the lot…"

After a few seconds pause, Wakko said quietly, "I could give it back to him."

_Good boy._

"Do you think that would be the best choice?"

"Not really," he muttered. "He's got guns. And he likes to use them."

"This is also a guy who's managed to work with a smart mouthed duck and rabbit and hasn't shot them yet. I doubt he is going to shoot a very contrite unarmed eight year old."

Wakko swallowed again, but shook his head. "Guess not. You sure I can't just mail it to him?"

Yakko shrugged. "I suppose you could, but remember that he saw you. And since we are going to be here for a very long time…"

"You want me to take it back to him?"

"I'll leave it up to you."

Wakko mulled it over for a minute as Yakko watched him think.

_I've been trying to raise both of them as well as I could, not that I'm exactly a great role model myself. Let's see if he makes the right decision, takes responsibility for what he did. If he doesn't, that means I've totally failed at what I was trying to teach him, which means I've probably already failed with Dot too…_

"Fine. I'll give it back to him." After a pause, he asked, his voice worried, "Will you come with me?"

_Like I'd let you do this alone._

Thrilled that he had not only made the correct decision, but that he wanted him to go with him, Yakko nodded. "Of course. We should probably go now though; we don't know how long he's going to be here, and we're technically not supposed to go anywhere except the cafeteria, at least for now. Not to mention, Dot's asleep. Even if she wakes up, she knows not to leave the room if I'm not here. She'll be OK for a little while."

_I hope. Hopefully we've reached some level of stability, and this will be the last time I have to leave her alone again._

Yakko held his hand out, and Wakko grasped it to pull himself up.

"Do you know where he is?"

"I have to guess that he's probably in his office; I know most of the tutors have one over there near where the set for Tiny Toons is."

"How do you know?"

"Overheard it when we were in the cafeteria. If Yosemite's still on the lot, I have to wager a guess that's where he's at," Yakko said.

"OK. Let's do it now before I change my mind," Wakko muttered.

Yakko was secretly delighted; maybe he hadn't failed after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

A half hour later, they finally found where most of the rooms reserved for the on set tutors were. They had to ask several people, and been chased at one point by a very portly security guard, finally losing him when they ducked in between two buildings.

Briskly walking through the parking lot, he noticed only two cars were parked in it; a black Chevy Blazer and a new fire-engine red BMW 525i.

Entering the large two story brick building, Yakko looked around, a very nervous Wakko clinging to his side. The last person they had spoke to said that Sam's office was on the second floor, and the doors were labeled with each tutor's name.

Ahead of them, he could see a staircase, with a window next to it, the sun shining in like it was lighting the way for them.

"Stairs are ahead of us Wakko. You ready?"

"Yeah, I guess," he muttered.

With a nod, Yakko headed for the stairs, Wakko still staying close to him.

On the second floor, Yakko looked as they walked, their footsteps silent on the polished hardwood floor. Some of the doors were blank. The names emblazoned on the gold stars on other doors read like a who's who of toon greats; Bunny, Leghorn, Pig, Duck, Le Pew, Fudd…

They reached the end of the hall, stopping at a door marked 'Sam'.

_Also with the sun shining in on it_, thought Yakko. _It's like a sign._

Wakko took a deep breath, squeezed in front of Yakko and knocked twice. They waited for a few seconds, looking at each other before looking back at the door. Not hearing anything, Wakko shrugged.

"Maybe he's left. Oh well let's go," he said quickly, turning and starting to walk off toward the stairs.

_Losing his nerve._

"Not so fast Scooby," he said, grabbing Wakko by the collar of his jacket. "I hear something on the other side of the door."

Yakko lifted one ear; he could have sworn he heard a grumbling behind the door. He shrugged and knocked himself this time, jumping when a very loud brash voice bellowed 'Come in I keeps saying come in! Oh never mind – gotta do everything!'

"Guess he's in after all," Yakko muttered.

He took a small step backwards, almost tripping on Wakko when the door was wrenched open, revealing the short redheaded figure of Yosemite Sam. Wakko made a strange sound and moved closer to Yakko.

"This better be important; I've things to do!"

Yakko, trying to pry Wakko off his leg, looked at the glaring toon and tried to smile without looking too intimidated. Even in his office, Sam was wearing his customary guns.

Wakko took another look at Sam, made an 'eep' sound, then ducked behind Yakko.

Thinking about what Wakko had said regarding Sam's guns and how much he liked to pull them out, he managed to choke out, "Ehhhhh, hi."

Wakko peeked out from behind him. Sam looked at both of them, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm a thinking I've seen you two critters before."

"And you'd be a thinking right," Yakko replied, watching Sam. Since the toon did not seem inclined to do more than glare at them, he gently steered Wakko forward, adding, "Sorry to disturb you when you so obviously had things to do, but my sibling has something to say."

Sam turned his eyes toward Wakko, who looked about ready to bolt. Yakko kept his hand on his shoulder and nodded toward him.

"I recognize you now..." Sam muttered, eyes turning bright when he recognized them. Then started yelling, "That little varmit from the convention! Come back to try it again-"

Wakko, who had gotten back some of his nerve at that point, looked at Yakko wide eyed. "Thought you said he wouldn't try to shoot-"

"He's not; not yet. Hurry up and give it to him before he 'full's us full of lead' or something," he hissed back at him.

_Maybe I should have done it myself, or let him put it in the mailbox._

Talking quickly and loudly to the point he was almost babbling, Wakko said, "Look mister, I'm really sorry! He told me not to do it because he's always right and I did it anyway because I don't listen and here's your wallet and I didn't take anything out of it and please please please please don't shoot us OK?"

Wakko thrust the wallet at the startled toon, who had stopped his rampage when he began speaking. Wakko then ducked back behind Yakko, peeking at Yosemite.

Yosemite gave them both a glare before he opened his billfold, quickly going through the contents.

"Well, it's all there," he finally grunted.

"Told ya it was," Wakko muttered.

Yakko nudged him. Sam still had his guns.

"Never thought I'd see this again...had pictures in here that were important..." the toon was muttering.

_Who knew the volatile Yosemite Sam had a soft side?_

"As for you two varmits – I should full ya so full of holes ya look like Swiss cheese! When I was younger we'd a killed any low down no account ornery toad who'd a dared touch another man's property!" Yosemite bellowed, his face as red as his hair and jumping up and down in the doorway.

_Not so soft a side after all._

Yakko watched with mounting alarm as Yosemite reached inside his vest.

_He's going for his gun! Wakko was right after all!_

Almost tripping over his brother, Yakko started to turn, planning on grabbing Wakko and trying to make a run for it, even though with the man so close there'd be no way they'd get out of this, when he saw what Yosemite was going for.

A handkerchief.

Yakko left out a ragged sigh as the man wiped his forehead; he probably looked like a ninny. He could feel Wakko shaking behind him he was so scared, and he put his hand on his siblings head, trying to calm him down.

Yosemite bent down a few inches to look in Wakko's terrified face, saying loudly, "Stealing another man's property is low down, dirty, just plain wrong!"

"I know; I'm sorry," Wakko whimpered.

"I should press charges on ya! See ya locked up! Ya know in some countries they'd be chopping off your hands for this sort of chickanery! I should have ya strung up by your thumbs for a week-"

Yakko decided to jump in. One thing to scold his brother; it was an entirely different matter to terrorize and threaten him.

"This is my fault too; I should have watched him better and I'm sorry. You want to scream at anyone, scream at me. Now, we've apologized and you have your property back. We'll leave you alone; sorry for the whole mess."

Yakko turned, leading his brother down the hallway, when he heard Yosemite clear his throat and step out of his office, his boots making a loud clicking sound on the floor. Yakko stiffened and stopped, turning around to face him.

Yosemite started talking again, looking up at Yakko, his voice still with its harsh guttural tone, but not yelling. He almost seemed calm.

"I gots to say though; I have to respect a man that's willing to own up to what he did. Took a lot of guts to come and face me after what ya'll did."

Scrutinizing him, Yosemite held his hand out to Yakko. After a few seconds of surprise, Yakko shook it.

"Ya'll the toons for that new show I'm guessing."

"Yeah, that's us. I'm Yakko." Nodding in the direction behind him, he added, "That's Wakko. We have a sister back at the room, Dot."

"Mighty fine to be knowing ya. May be hope for the next generation after all," Yosemite said. "Thinking that maybe, must maybe, ya'll might be doing OK here."

_Wow, a compliment from the old guard. _

Yakko glanced down. Hearing Yosemite's deep voice no longer yelling, Wakko was peeking out from behind Yakko again, shyly watching from behind his waist.

Yosemite stuck his hand out toward Wakko, who just looked at it before shrinking back into Yakko's leg.

_He gets any closer, he may as well just climb in my pocket._

After a few seconds, Sam growled at him, "What boy – ya to proud to shake a man's hand?"

After a short pause, Wakko gave a small smile which broke out into a grin as he came forward enough to shake the man's hand. Yakko flashed Yosemite a grateful smile which the older toon returned.

"I's gots to get going; I'll be seeing ya'll around the lot. Don't be afraid to come up to say hi every now and then."

"Thank you, we will," Yakko replied.

_Looks like we made a friend. A powerful one too._

Yosemite walked back toward his office, and Yakko turned to go down the stairs after Wakko. He heard the sound of a door behind him and he looked back, wondering if Yosemite had something else to say to them.

When he looked though, he saw no one in the hall. With a shrug he continued to go down, catching up with his waiting brother who swore that he would never take anything again and that he was very happy Yosemite didn't shoot them and had turned out to be a nice little man.

Yakko had to admit he was happy Yosemite didn't shoot them too. He also had to admit that he was extraordinarily proud of Wakko; he honestly thought his brother would have chickened out and that he would have had to do the apologizing for him.

Yakko grinned to himself. He wasn't doing bad at the whole guardian - role model thing after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

December 28, 1992

_Why won't this blowhard pipe down?_ Yakko thought. _We've been listening to this for almost an hour._

Yakko checked his watch; a quarter to twelve. He heard his stomach rumble, then perked his ears as Wakko's rumbled. Over to his left, he heard Dot snickering at them before her own stomach answered. She got a look on her face like she just swallowed alum and bent over in her chair, hands clutched to her stomach.

Yakko smirked; all three of their stomach's rumbling, and Plotz just continued to ramble on, oblivious to his less than captive audience.

Not wanting to listen to Plotz any longer since the man was just repeating himself, he looked around the man's office instead. It was huge, which he supposed was understandable, him being a CEO and all. He had a nice view of the lot, windows making up almost the complete wall to his right, the famous Warner Brothers tower visible in the distance.

"This is one of the most important toons in Hollywood," Plotz said emphatically, "And you three had better not do anything that would embarrass me, Mr. Spielberg, or the studio. You should be grateful for the chance to even meet with him."

Yakko drawled, "OK TP, calm down. We'll be on our best behavior, I promise." He crossed his fingers in front of him so Plotz could see.

"Yeah, promise I won't blow bubbles with my spit," Wakko added.

"He can blow them with his snot though; I've seen him," Dot added helpfully.

Plotz rolled his eyes and muttered, "Why this...star; this legend has any interest in you I don't know..."

"Cuz he knows greatness when he sees it?" Dot asked.

Yakko snickered at the scowl Plotz directed toward her.

On Friday, Plotz had sent them a message via a very stupid security guard, stating that someone wanted to take them to lunch on Monday at noon; they were to be in his office at eleven. The note had very basic, very explicit instructions on how to get to the office, including a step by step diagram on how to use the elevator. Yakko was surprised the man hadn't told them how many steps it would be to go from their room, across the lot, through the lobby and up to his office.

The note had also stated that the judge in ToonTown had signed the _guardian ad slavus_, making everything official; they were now under the studio's protection.

While chaperone's had yet to be chosen, someone had managed to get temporary chaperone rights to take the three of them off the lot for lunch. They had all been insanely curious to know who it was, but the letter did not state, and Plotz refused to tell them, saying that the toon wished to stay anonymous for now, and they would find out in good time.

"This star of stage and screen wants to meet the three of you, you should be respectful, eager to please, only speak when spoken to-"

"Yakko's gonna blow that one," Dot muttered.

"You're on a roll today sis," Yakko said back.

"Just following in your footsteps big brother."

Wakko let out a soft sigh. When Yakko looked over at him, he almost started laughing; he had fallen asleep, tongue hanging out his mouth, arms and legs splayed out across the chair.

Yakko turned back to look at Plotz just as the temperamental toon slammed his fist down on his desk, making paperweights, pens and papers jump.

It also made Wakko wake up; he actually caught air between jumping in the air then landing on the floor as Dot howled in glee. Yakko, unable to help it, starting laughing at Wakko's muttered 'ow' as he crawled off the floor and back into his chair.

"You children are unbelievable! Sleeping, laughing, talking! Disgusting lack of respect - I can't believe you're even here! And you couldn't even dress for the occasion! You should have looked presentable!"

Yakko looked at the three of them; he was in a grey t-shirt and jeans; Wakko had a black Batman t-shirt and jeans, still complete with his denim jacket obtained so long ago; and Dot had on her new pink Tweety-Bird shirt he bought her for Christmas with her jeans.

Unable to leave the lot to go Christmas shopping, Yakko had bought them each a shirt and a bag of candy at the studio store with the small amount of cash he had left. Both his siblings had been very understanding, and had said, in their own unique way, that they had already gotten their present; safety and some assurance of a future, all of them together.

He had been surprised; pretty profound thoughts for a five and eight year old.

"How much more presentable do you want TP?" he asked. "They're wearing Warner Brothers' products. And we're clean, we don't stink-."

"The rash has almost disappeared," Wakko added.

"I even had a flea bath," Dot said.

Yakko grinned at Plotz, who was developing a tick in his left eye. Yakko pointed at it.

"You should have that checked."

Plotz was opening his mouth to say something when his telephone ran. He turned to answer it, throwing Yakko one more nasty look.

Yakko sat back in his chair, listening to the man say that 'they were here, and yes, yes! Of course he could come in'.

He wondered who wanted to take them to lunch.

He wondered where they would go.

He wondered why it was so much fun to get the CEO, and in all actuality their boss, all riled up.

Listening to Wakko complain that he was so hungry the desk was looking tasty and Dot whine that a real man wouldn't keep a hungry lady waiting, he turned as the door to the office opened. On either side of him, Dot and Wakko stood in their chairs to see over the backs.

Wakko inhaled deeply beside him, and Dot made a quiet squealing sound, clasping her hands together.

Yakko could hardly believe his eyes himself, but was able to refrain from having his jaw drop...too much.

Standing in the doorway, wearing a pair of black sunglasses and twirling a set of keys around one gloved finger was Bugs Bunny.

_This was their lunch date?_

"Think we're having something made with carrots for lunch sibs," he said.

End Chapter 14


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Surprises

Yakko took another bite of his pizza and watched the lean grey rabbit continue to talk to his brother and sister, picking their brains for interests and joking with them. Yakko could figure out that Bugs was sizing them up, finding strengths, weaknesses, interests and abilities.

He just couldn't figure out why.

With a half shrug to himself, assuming he'd find out sooner or later, Yakko looked around the crowded restaurant instead. He still couldn't believe he was sitting in a 'Chuck E. Cheese' with Bugs Bunny eating greasy pizza made with cheap cheese and rubbery pepperoni.

After getting over their shock of who they were actually going to lunch with, Bugs had informed them that they didn't need to call him Mr. Bunny, he was hungry and had a place in mind, and had led them from Plotz's office to the parking lot.

Yakko had smirked when he'd seen his car; the previously seen BMW parked outside the tutoring building. After a drive that should have taken less than ten minutes but ended up taking almost thirty due to traffic, he had pulled up at the kid friendly restaurant.

Yakko came back to the conversation when Wakko and Dot laughed at something that Bugs had said.

"But now docs, I want to talk to your older brother," Bugs said, cutting his eyes over to Yakko before looking back at the two younger Warners. "Say, you two like video games?"

Wakko and Dot both nodded and grinned. Yakko held back an eye roll; how would they know? They'd never played a lot of video games that he was aware of.

"They got a whole arcade here – full to the rafters with that mind rotting nonsense."

Yakko groaned; he didn't have much cash left; he could give them some money to play a few games, but they wouldn't be able to entertain themselves long-

"Here, I got me a ton of these tokens I have to lug around," Bugs said, reaching into his hammerspace and pulling a small jingling sack out. "They're getting heavy." He thunked the bag on the table and opened it, pulling out a handful of the brass tokens. "Be great if you could take them off my hands."

Dumping so many coins into his siblings' hands they ended up dropping half of them, the rabbit added, "Have fun guys."

Wakko and Dot looked excitedly toward Yakko. He looked at them then glanced to where the video games where; it was directly in his line of sight. He didn't like the idea of them going off, nor of Bugs obviously buying off his siblings, but had a feeling that he didn't have much choice in the matter.

Besides that, he was curious what the legend wanted with them. Not that he didn't appreciate the lunch and the opportunity to actually meet the great Bugs Bunny, but he had a feeling that this was more than a 'welcome to the studio' lunch.

Yakko nodded to them. "Fine. Don't wander off OK?" he added, more for Wakko's benefit than Dot's. Dot had proven she could stay put for the most part; Wakko was his little explorer.

The both chorused 'OK' and started to run off. At Yakko's raised eyebrow, they both gave a 'thank you' to Bugs and darted to the arcade.

Watching them run off, dodging the other kids running around the dining area surrounding the arcade, Bugs chuckled.

"Your siblings are cute Mac; got tons of energy." Taking a drink of his soda, he asked, "So, you're probably pretty excited about this whole television contract huh?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. All three of us are," Yakko said. "Once in a lifetime opportunity."

"True doc," he agreed, taking a bite of his salad.

Yakko watched the rabbit. The lunch so far had been amazing. The rabbit was funny, even friendlier than he appeared in his movies and had tons of fascinating stories that he was more than willing to share.

Yakko and his siblings had been tongue tied when they had started walking to his car with him, not knowing what to say to such a famous individual. By the time they had pulled up to their third traffic light, the four of them were talking and laughing like they had known each other for years. The rabbit had a wonderful talent for putting people at ease.

Yakko glanced at his siblings; Wakko was standing behind Dot cheering as she played some video game or another. He glanced back at Bugs. He liked the rabbit, but he wondered again why he had wanted to take them to lunch.

"Anyone from the studio started talking to you about schooling for you three yet?"

Yakko shrugged. "Not yet; Mr. Plotz said something about after the new year they would start to work on that."

Bugs nodded. "You don't seem too thrilled."

Yakko looked at him, surprised. "I am; I just wish we were starting sooner instead of waiting around for another week or two. The opportunity to actually have a real tutor was one of the main highlights of accepting the contract."

"That and avoiding the TIS hunters I wager – unfortunately, not all of them are Fudd-dumb either. So, a scholarly-type toon; wish one of my current students had that attitude," Bugs said sarcastically. "Any thoughts on what type of tutor you would like? Personality wise that is?"

Yakko shrugged again. "I didn't think any of us would have a choice. I suppose whoever is available would suffice, long as they know their stuff."

"You can have some say in it; you're paying for it after all." Bugs regarded him shrewdly. "Your brother's a clever little thing; likes cars and sports…sort of rambunctious though isn't he?"

Yakko looked over toward the arcade, where Wakko was currently talking to some human boy, gesturing wildly with his arms while both boys hopped around. Every now and then he would look over at Dot who was trying to win something out of the crane machine.

"Yeah, he can be a little wild; doesn't listen as much as he should. He's a good kid though."

"Your sister – she's got you twisted around her little finger huh? Bet she does that to a lot of people. She's pretty adorable; seems like she knows it too."

_Master at stating the obvious._

"She does."

"And horses." Bugs shuddered. "Never saw the appeal myself. Anyway, she hasn't breeched her hammerspace yet right? What about Wakko?"

"He has-"

"Yeah, I know that doc, but how long ago?"

"March 1989, three months after his fifth birthday."

"Dot?"

Yakko shook his head. "I'm still working with her on it. She's had her gloves less than two months."

Bugs nodded. "Yeah, bit too early on her. Seems like a sharp little thing; probably be a good student, especially if she had a doting tutor."

Yakko nodded. He had noticed the rabbit picking his siblings' brains the last hour; he was subtle at it, asking them about interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes, and goals, but Yakko had a feeling this was probably leading up to something.

He just couldn't figure out what.

"What about you doc? I saw some of the writers' notes and intake information; you seem like you have a more than adequate idea of what's happening back there. You do liquids yet?"

"Some. I can Fritz seltzer bottles now, haven't had much use for it though."

"That'll change shortly. What about bombs? Chucking? Spin changes?"

Yakko shook his head. "I can toonspeed; sort of boggled a jump I chucked a week ago," he snorted. "I need to work on my landings. I can finally do a small lighted bomb, but it doesn't explode. Haven't had much use for that either-"

"I say again, that'll change. Who taught you?"

"Lady back in ToonTown named Goose-"

It was Bugs' turn to look surprised. "Penelope Goose? She's pretty well known; used to be a tutor at the studio. Retired a few years ago."

Yakko nodded as he thought back to his acidic-tongued tutor. He wasn't surprised to find that out; it explained why she was a decent teacher.

"She taught you all that? Thought you'd been on the street for awhile."

"Not all of it, but most of it and I knew her several years ago. And what she didn't teach me, I wouldn't have learned without the base from her to build on. Some of the stuff I picked up from books, or through trial and error."

_A lot of errors. _

"Self taught too. Gotta admire that. You read 'The Spastic Plastic Toon?"

Yakko cocked an eyebrow at him but nodded. Bugs was picking his brain now.

"So doc, did ya understand it?"

"Some of it; but no matter how much I understood, I'm not going to try to reshape or temporarily remove a body part by myself. I'm not that crazy."

"Good call, always better to wait until you got someone around to show you the ropes. Certain student of mine didn't and ended up in a dentist chair for three hours getting his teeth fixed." Bugs continued to eat his salad, popping a cherry tomato in his mouth. "Now doc, I said before that you guys get a little say in your tutors; personalities have to match, mutual respect, all that malarkey. Doesn't work well otherwise, student doesn't learn, tutor gets frustrated...next thing you know, you got pies flying around the lot at ya and you spend most of your time trying to dodge anvils."

_Wonder if he's speaking from experience._

"Anyways, reason I wanted to talk to you…If you were interested, I can squeeze in another student. I got two already, that's usually the limit, but for a special situation I could definitely free up time for another one."

Yakko stared at him, thinking he was hearing things. When, after a long pause he didn't say anything, Bugs looked back at him, smirking.

"You don't have to accept me doc; anyone on the lot would probably take you if you asked; you've impressed a few toons now. Though I have to say I haven't had many kids say-"

_Did I just turn down Bugs Bunny?_

"No! No – that's not-no, wow! - of course I'd take you –over anyone!"

_Shut up moron, you sound like a fan boy._

Yakko cleared his throat and tried to ignore Bugs' amused expression. "I mean, yes, I'd love to have you as a tutor. It would be an honor."

_There, that had to sound better; much less fawning._

"No need to gush and slobber over my tail; rabbit fur smells weird when it's wet. A simple yes will suffice."

"Yes."

_How are we supposed to pay for this?_

"Good boy. Now-"

"Um, there may be a problem with this arrangement," Yakko said, feeling himself color slightly. He racked his brain, trying to figure out how to tell him without sounding too desperate.

"Well, what's up doc?"

Yakko finally muttered, "We don't have any money; we couldn't pay-"

Bugs waved his hand dismissively. "Worry about that later; I'm not going-"

"We don't need charity Bugs."

"It's not charity. Look at it this way; you don't get some additional training - all three of you - quickly - you're not going to be able to film anything right? You're Toon Theory training isn't the only thing you're gonna need. You guys need acting, singing, probably some improv, not to mention all the basics."

"Guess that's true," Yakko muttered.

"So let it go for now doc; I'm not exactly living paycheck to paycheck."

"You're not exactly modest either," Yakko mumbled, and was horrified to hear Bugs chuckle. He hadn't meant for him to hear that comment.

Catching his eye, Bugs said, "No - never have been. And don't worry about the comment; I encourage it. I made my living running my mouth too. Trust me, if I don't like something you say, you'll know it. Now, you still interested in having me for toon theory and acting? I'm no scholar, but I can help get you through the basics to, at least until the studio finds you a teacher for that stuff."

Yakko nodded. If the rabbit didn't mind waiting until he got some money, he wasn't going to bypass the opportunity to study with him.

Bugs leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm not quite as demanding as some of the other tutors, but I'm no easy taskmaster either. If you think you're up to the challenge, I'll inform Plotz when we get back. We'll meet three hours a day, three times a week; we can tinker with the times once you've got more of an idea of your shooting schedule and any other classes...is that acceptable?"

"M-more than a-a-cceptable," Yakko stuttered, still slightly awed.

_Pull it together Yakko or he's going to pass you off to Fudd._

"Good. We'll start next Monday at one," Bugs said, nodding his head once for confirmation. "Meet me in my office; you know where that's at. And I've got a couple books for you to read before then; I wouldn't suggest not reading them before showing up if I were you."

_Wow, he doesn't waste time; homework before the session even begins. _

_How does he know I know where his office is?_

Yakko inwardly cringed; did Bugs hear them giving Sam back his wallet? He hoped not; he didn't want him to know that his brother had robbed a fellow star, even if it wasn't intentionally.

"Now then-"

"Excuse me," Yakko said. "Don't mean to interrupt, but my siblings-"

"What I was going to bring up next. I can only take one additional student; you. Two is usually the limit with tutors; three is rare. But, I've got a couple toons in mind that would probably love to do it. One actually has one student and would love to have another; the other has been doing substitute work or offering additional help. And I think their personalities will match nicely with your brother and sister if I'm any judge of character. I need to check with them first before I go suggesting anything."

"So you won't tell me?"

"Na-huh."

"A hint?"

"Well…no."

"I don't want to wait."

"I know…ain't I a stinker?" Bugs drawled.

_Darn._

Yakko was curious who he had in mind for Wakko and Dot, but grudgingly agreed to be patient and wait. He trusted the rabbit's judgment.

"Now then; 'not required but highly suggested' reading before you show up Monday."

Bugs pulled out two books from his hammerspace and handed them across the table to Yakko. He looked at the titles; 'Tunnel Painting, Black Holes, and Eighteen Other Ways to Escape Your Enemies' and 'Playing a Female and Other Aspects of Acting all Male Toons Should Know'. Yakko had not heard of them, but they looked interesting enough.

"Read at least the first three chapters of 'Tunnel Painting'. We'll be working with the other one in a week or so. I'll let you know about Wakko and Dot before then; if the guys I'm thinking of will take the jobs - and I'm sure they will - you can bring them along too. That way all three of you start at the same time. Even if theirs gets delayed a day or two, I'm sure we can find something to keep them entertained until your schedules start to fill up a bit and they'll have their own schooling, friends, studying and shoots to stay busy and out of trouble with."

_He didn't know Wakko very well - kid could do all that and still find time to cause trouble. _

Yakko took another glimpse over toward his siblings; both were trying their hand at the Whack-A-Mole game. He snorted when he saw Dot turn around and knock Wakko in the head with the soft mallet, knocking him backwards.

"Why us?" he said, turning back to Bugs.

He shrugged and smirked. "Why not?"

"Oh come on; why the special interest in us?"

"Just noticed a few things about ya doc that caught my eye. And if I'm going to take on the responsibility of a third student, I should make it a pretty special student. Not everybody would have done what you-"

Anything else he was going to say was cut off as Wakko and Dot came running up, sans tokens. Wakko climbed back in his chair and began to eat another slice of pizza as Dot crawled up into Yakko's lap. He looked down at her.

"Have fun Dot?"

"Yep! I won at Whack-A-Mole Yakko," Dot proclaimed happily. "I whacked Wakko."

XXXXXXXXXX

January 6, 1993

"I don't want to do this Yakko," Wakko said to him, holding his copy of 'General Theory for the Knowledgeable Toon' between his right thumb and forefinger like it was something diseased. "What if we get someone mean?"

"Yeah Yakko; it could be some big cruel ogre!" Dot added, holding her own book, 'Basic Hammerspace Techniques' with slightly less disgust than Wakko. "Why can't we just stay at the room again, and you can tell us what you learned?"

Yakko smirked at both his siblings as they walked toward the building housing all the tutor's offices. "Bugs wouldn't choose someone 'mean' and 'cruel' - you guys will have fun."

They should have fun; Bugs had sent a message to him on Saturday to meet him in Plotz's office, where he had informed him who his siblings' tutors would be. He had said that the two stars had been delighted to have been asked. Most of the older toons liked tutoring; they got to pass what they'd learned down to the next generation. Bugs had also given him a text book for each of them, saying that both of them would need it when they began their training.

When Bugs was done, Plotz had informed him that the writers were finishing several ideas for a premise of the new show. On Tuesday they, Plotz, and the writers would all have a meeting to discuss premise, scheduling, additional work that needed to be done, and alternate housing arrangements. With any luck, the show should premier in ToonTown on the 'New Toon Review' channel in June then premier on national television in September as part of the new fall lineup.

That thought delighted him to no end, and scared the hell out of him at the same time.

"Easy for you to say," muttered Dot to his left. "You know who you got. You got to pick yours. We just got told."

"If we had let you pick, who would you have chosen?" Yakko asked, curious.

"You," Wakko said. "You've been doing it all this time-"

"I told you before sibs; I'm limited; if I wasn't, I wouldn't be going myself would I?" He looked at their glum faces. "Trust me, Bugs got good tutors for you."

"We'd still rather have you, can't we stay with you one more day…please?" Dot asked, flashing her dimples at him and grabbing his hand. "We'll be quiet and stay out of the way, promise."

Yakko looked down at her and tried to ignore her look. He understood to a point; this would be one of the first times that all three of them would be separated from each other.

_Gotta ignore it though._

"We're gonna be in the same building Dot; you'll be four doors away."

"Four doors! Yakko - something could happen-"

"Nothing's going to happen. Dot, it's only three hours-"

"Three hours? That long? I'm gonna miss a few shows for this," Wakko muttered.

"You watch too much TV now-"

"Well, I'd play outside, but you won't let me go past the parking barrier; that gets sort of boring."

Yakko sighed; hopefully they would start being able to figure out where everything was on the lot soon. He was even going stir-crazy sitting in the room or out on the step.

"Look, sooner or later they have to start showing us around the lot; we're not prisoners…or at least I don't think we are." He shook his head. "Wakko, you want to use your mallet right? You want to be able to Fritz more than a pie? You need to go to a tutor. We still need Math and all the other basics. Besides, we all need the acting lessons. These guys know their stuff; just try it out, OK?"

"I just know this is gonna be boring."

"Trust me; it's not gonna be boring. You'll learn tons of stuff; a lot more than you'd learn from me. Just behave and pay attention to these guys - they didn't have to take either of you."

Yakko had breathed a sigh of relief when Bugs had also said both these guys were more than willing to teach them pro bono, at least until they got on their feet.

He held open the door as his siblings trudged inside the tutoring building, still grumbling under their breath.

He hoped they liked who was picked out for them. He had considered asking them, but knew he'd get the response that he was currently getting; sulking and whining. He figured he would make a decision for them; it was in their best interests.

As they climbed the stairs, Yakko crossed his fingers, hoping this all went well. He had read the chapters Bugs had 'strongly suggested' he read, wondering if the rabbit would spring a pop quiz on him the first day. He had actually read through both books; they had been fascinating. He had even been tempted to try out a few things, but decided to hold off, remembering Bugs' statement about one of his students screwing up his teeth.

"We're almost there, can't you at least give us a hint who we're gonna be with?" Wakko asked.

Yakko rolled his eyes. "You've asked a hundred times already Wakko; it's a surprise. If I could tell you I would, but I was sworn to secrecy. You two will be surprised though; I promise you both will like them."

He hadn't been sworn to secrecy, not really, but it was supposed to be a surprise.

Arriving at the door to Bugs' office, he knocked twice, smirking at the sounds of Wakko and Dot still grumbling under their breath behind him. Hearing the Brooklyn accented rabbit yell 'come in', Yakko turned the knob, anxious to get this started. His siblings weren't looking forward to it, but he was.

Entering the office, Yakko was greeted with a 'what's up doc' from Bugs, and looked around the room, amazed. The rabbit had excellent taste.

A large dark oak desk was shoved against the right wall, papers and books stacked neatly on it; Bugs was sitting at it scribbling on some piece of paper and crunching on a carrot. Against the far wall were several bookcases in a matching finish, filled with books. The upper shelves had several knickknacks on them, and what looked like a framed picture or two on it.

Between two of the bookcases was a large window that overlooked the lot, a round table and two chairs below it. Against the left wall was a deep red couch. All this on a thick green carpet that reminded Yakko of grass and deep brown paneling on the walls. He felt like he was in a forest.

"Hiya kids," Bugs greeted them, much cheerier than the mournful muttered 'hi' that was returned to him by Wakko and Dot.

"Excited about finally meeting your tutors?"

"No."

Yakko almost smiled. Wakko and Dot were so in tune with each other right now they were actually talking together.

"You should be docs; they're excited about meeting you. They'll be here in a few minutes. Have a seat."

Wakko and Dot rolled their eyes at each other and collapsed on the couch in the corner.

Yakko exchanged a smirk with Bugs as he sat down at the small round table. Bugs left his desk and wandered over to the table to sit across from him. Yakko reached into his hammerspace and pulled his two books out.

"You read those chapters?"

Yakko nodded. "Yeah, I read it."

"Great. So put them away," Bugs said, waving his hand at him. "Once your brother and sister are off, we're gonna take a trip outside to try out what you read."

"First day's a field trip?"

"Matter of speaking-"

A knock at the door cut him off, and he stood, crossing the room to open it.

Wakko and Dot, still on the couch, exchanged a glance before looking up at the open door and the two figures standing in it, greeting Bugs.

"You've got to be kidding me," Dot mumbled.

Yakko smirked at their stunned looks as their new tutors came into the room.

"Told ya you'd be surprised sibs," he smirked.

Bugs couldn't have chosen better for these two.

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko looked at their new tutors in stunned disbelief; a giant chicken and a stuttering pig.

_What could we have done to deserve this?_

"Now Bugs, I say, now Bugs, I'm taking the boy right down the hall to my office. Wanna find out what he knows and don't know, before I start any sort of plan with him."

_Figures, I get the funny talking chicken._

"And B-Bugs, I'm t-t-taking Dorothy-"

"Dot. Just Dot. Not Dorothy," Dot interjected loudly, an annoyed tone to her voice.

"Fine, Dot," Porky said, smiling at her before talking to Bugs again. "I'll be with her in my o-o-office too, going over some t-t-things."

"Thrilling," muttered Dot as she crossed her arms. "What did we do to him?" she hissed, pointing to Bugs.

Wakko snickered. "Come off it; at least P-P-Porky should be a pushover. I got stuck with the goof."

"Yeah, great Wakko; I got a pig. What's that say about what Bugs thinks of me?"

"You think you got it bad? You know how many times I'm gonna have to listen to 'Camptown Races' now? I hate that song-"

Dot nudged him suddenly and Wakko looked up to see Yakko giving both of them 'The Look'.

_Whoops._

Exchanging a look with Dot, they both beamed at him, waiting until he turned away to look at the tutors before sticking their tongues out at him.

"What's he upset about?" Wakko muttered.

"Probably afraid they'll hear," Dot muttered back.

"How? Porky's got short ears; the chicken doesn't have any. They can't hear anything."

Dot shrugged, still looking annoyed. "Just cuz he doesn't have ears sticking out the side of his head doesn't mean he can't hear stupid."

"I'm not stupid," Wakko hissed. "And just cuz you-"

"You ready boy? We got things to do."

Wakko looked up, cut off from his insult to Dot. The barnyard rejects had crossed the room and were standing in front of them. Porky was holding his hand out to Dot. Foghorn was giving him a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah I'm ready," he muttered.

He gave a wave at Yakko's yelled 'have fun guys' and heard Dot mutter 'yeah, oodles' and bit back a laugh.

At least his guy didn't stutter. That's got to count for something.

Wakko followed Foghorn down the hall; his office was four doors away from Bugs'. Foghorn, true to his namesake, talked loudly and often. Wakko had to wonder if his beak ever got tired.

All he got out of the entire one-sided conversation was that he could call him Foghorn and he was being considered by the studio as a chaperone. The rest of the conversation was nothing but babbling.

Foghorn, still talking about something, into his office, holding the door open for Wakko, who trudged inside.

Wakko looked around, amazed, and felt a grin splitting his face. Bugs' office was simple, stylish, and elegant; the sort of place that you could look around three minutes, and have nothing left to look at but some books.

Foghorn's was a cluttered mess. He still had the green carpet and dark paneled walls, but that's where the similarities ended. Posters and photographs lined the walls. He still had four tall bookcases, but only half the shelves held books. The rest of the shelves held models of cars and motorcycles and some sports memorabilia.

There was a desk shoved into the left corner of the room. Or Wakko thought it was a desk; hard to say under the piles of papers, books, magazines and sport equipment stacked on it. Wakko frowned, seeing a pair of boxing gloves on the desk.

_Hope he doesn't use them as a teaching tool_, he thought, looking at the bulky rooster.

There was also a round table under the window; it was the only surface in the entire room cleared off. He assumed that Foghorn cleared it off in anticipation of having a new student.

"You can sit here boy," Foghorn said, breezing past him to go to the table. "We need to talk anyway; got to figure out what you know up in that fuzzy head 'o yours."

_So much for a 'getting to know you' phase._

Wakko walked to the table, sitting in one of the chairs. He was sorry he'd had so much soda with lunch; he was feeling hyper. He cast a look at the rooster; he doubted Foghorn would allow him to skive off the session to go run around the lot though.

_Too bad; probably be a lot more interesting._

Looking out the window, he watched the multitude of people and toons walking around; at least Foghorn had a good view of the lot. Wakko let out a small sigh; they'd been there almost two weeks and all he had seen was their room, the parking lot, Plotz's office, and a conference room; he'd really like to see some of the rest of the studio, especially since they would be there for the next five years or so-

"Now boy; hey boy I'm talking to ya son."

Wakko snapped back to Foghorn as the chicken snapped his fingers in front of his face. Hard to imagine the rooster was talking and he hadn't heard it.

"All right, I say all right now; calm down there boy and pay attention-"

_Wonder how much this goof actually knows?_

"Do you have any candy?"

_Shoulda grabbed candy instead of soda…_

"Candy? You got the attention span of a moth. Now just sit down there son so we can-"

_Bet he knows the lot…_

"I am sitting. You've been here a long time right?"

The rooster puffed his chest out. "Sure I have! I've been-"

"Can we take a tour of the lot? You probably know lots about-"

"Tour of the lot? Boy, you're like a dollar with no quarters, nickels or dimes - no sense."

_Guess that's a no._

Wakko, bouncing in the chair, pointed to a photograph on the wall of Foghorn wearing shorts and boxing gloves. "Were you a boxer or was that Halloween?"

Foghorn looked toward where he was pointing on the wall above his head and snorted. "What? Halloween! You're about as sharp as a cotton ball! No boy I boxed and-"

"Were ya any good?"

"I was the best of course! And I'll tell ya all about it-"

_Sweet._

"-later. Now then, we got, I say we got things to go over boy, and we're not gonna accomplish anything babbling back and forth like two brooks."

_Darn._

"Bunny gave you some sort of book I'm told."

Wakko nodded his head, holding it up to him with an annoyed look. "Do we really have to use it? It's pretty boring."

Foghorn raised an eyebrow to him. "You tried, I say you tried reading it already? You one 'o them bookworm types?"

Wakko shook his head. "No; Yakko wanted us to at least look through them. I did. It was boring - you look," he said, thrusting the book toward him.

Foghorn took the book and started muttering as he flipped through the pages. "Lemme see here. Uh huh. What? Who would do…Now how the hell - I mean - heck would you…Hair-brained hare's lost his mind if he thinks…"

Wakko watched with wide eyes as the rooster shut the book and handed it back to him.

"OK boy, I say put that thing away before I fall asleep. We'll save the book for later; homework and stuff…when I'm not there. Now then, let's get down to business. That hammerspace of yours; how long you been using it huh?"

Wakko, relived to hear that the book would be saved for some later time, shrugged. "About three years-"

Wakko was cut off as the rooster jumped in, and Wakko glanced out the window, seeing a group of prop men pushing a car down an alley. It was a really nice car; some sort of roadster maybe-

"Pay attention now boy-"

Wakko felt the rooster gently using his hand to turn his head from the window back to face him.

"Three years you said. That's a good amount of time for the basics; but now we wanna go to the more complicated stuff. You can Fritz?"

"Sure I can!" Wakko said. "Wanna see?"

Wakko jumped on the chair, noticing that the rooster still towered over him. Concentrating, he pulled out a pie; Chocolate Crème.

"I just learned how to do this flavor of pie. See how it tastes for me would ya?"

Snickering, he pulled his arm back to throw it at Foghorn, but stopped when the rooster pulled his own pie out and held his arm back.

"Rabbit said you were rambunctious; he wasn't joking," Foghorn muttered. Louder he said, "You toss at me; I toss at you…deal?"

Not sure he wanted to catch a fully trained adult toon's pie in the face the first day and noticing his own pie was disappearing, Wakko nodded.

_Sure. For now._

"Good. Looks like that's something else to work on; getting anything you Fritz to last longer than ten seconds."

_Well, that'll be good._

"Now boy, can you, I say can you do lit bombs yet?"

Wakko shook his head again. "No. Can't do fire-"

"Can't do fire? I think we're finally getting somewhere here. One of the first things we work on; start with small ones, little baby bombs, move on to the big ones later. How about a mallet - you got that yet boy?" When Wakko nodded, Foghorn added, "Well let's see it boy; we don't, I say we don't have time to be staring back and forth eyeballing each other."

"OK."

Wakko was extraordinarily proud of his mallet, and was secretly pleased the rooster was asking to see it. Pulling it out, Wakko held it up, liking the way the sun glinted off the deep cherry finish.

"Fine looking mallet boy; ya look a bit scrawny for it though."

_Loud mouth schnook._

"Guess you'll grow into it; how long you had it now?"

"About six months."

"Well, that's just fine boy; you know how to Chuck anything yet?"

Wakko shook his head.

_At this point, it'd be easier to ask me what I do know; the list would be shorter._

"OK. We've established you can't Chuck, you can't do any fire, and anything you Fritz lasts about as long as a drop of water in a hot frying pan." Foghorn clapped his hands together. "We've got us a lot of stuff to work on now - Pay attention now boy, you might learn something."

"Doubt it," Wakko said, and grinned when he heard Foghorn snort.

"Wise guy."

_Least he's got a sense of humor._

"What's that picture?" Wakko asked, pointing to another photograph on the wall.

For the last few minutes, he had been looking at a black and white picture on the wall of Foghorn standing in front of a car.

"That's my, I say that's my 1950 Studebaker Commander. First car I owned," Foghorn said proudly. He shot Wakko a look. "You like cars boy?"

Wakko nodded.

"How about sports? You like them?"

Wakko nodded again, and Foghorn's face split into a grin. "We've got us something in common after all! Tell ya what boy; I'll make you a deal. You pay attention now, I'll show ya some stuff in my collection later."

"What sort of stuff?"

"I'm not I say I'm not gonna tell ya that now; spoil the surprise. You just have to pay attention."

"Oh come on - I'll pay-"

"Ah! Ah! Take it boy; best deal you're gonna get today. We got us two and a half hours. You work for the two hours; we'll cut off half an hour early for something more interesting…deal?"

Wakko cut his eyes towards the rooster. This was some of that reverse psychology stuff he'd heard about, had to be.

On the other hand, the big rooster obviously had a lot of neat stuff. And he had to know what he was doing or he wouldn't be a tutor.

With a reluctant sigh, Wakko nodded. "Deal."

_Better be something really cool._

"Fine boy. Now then, about you're chucking; we need to get you to at least toonspeed. Heard enough about your show to know your gonna need to be able to stretch yourself around like a piece of taffy at a state fair, so let's work on that for today. You've been bouncing around like a ball anyway; help burn up some of that energy of yours – you'll sleep well tonight boy."

Wakko heard him mutter 'hope your brother thanks me for that' and grinned.

_This guy might not be so bad after all._

XXXXXXXXXX

Dot stared at her new tutor, chagrined. He hadn't been too bad for the first thirty minutes. He had talked to her as he showed her around his office and asked her questions about herself, her family, and what she knew.

He had been delighted when she mentioned that she kept feeling something cold behind her as she tried to find her hammerspace.

She had been annoyed when he wouldn't tell her what it was; he only said that he would tell her after she found her hammerspace. Unless he was going to tell her that a hammerspace was nothing more than a giant refrigerator, she didn't see what the big secret was.

She had been thrilled to discover that Porky loved horses, and had several pictures of his two horses, Dougherty and Bergen, that he had shown her.

She had been amused to see a bottle of Avon's 'Skin-So-Soft' on his desk.

She had been alarmed when she found out he had named the plants in his office and played music for them daily.

She hadn't been surprised to find out that Porky was a neat freak; everything had a place. She had to believe that when Wakko said someone was 'anal', this was what he was referring to.

His office had the green carpet and dark walls like Bugs', and he also had a window looking out onto the lot. But where Bugs had books just shoved into the shelves, Porky's were put in very neatly, arranged according to size; the shortest were to the left and the books gradually got taller as they went to the right. When they had come in, before sitting at the table near the window, Porky had rearranged all the pencils and pens on the holder on his meticulous desk.

_Yep. Anal. I learned the meaning of a new word today._

The great thing was, if she used it and Yakko got upset with her, she could just blame Wakko. She snickered to herself; anytime she used a word that was inappropriate, all she had to do was say she heard it from Wakko. It got her out of quite a bit of trouble.

She sighed, wondering how Yakko and Wakko were doing. Yakko had been thrilled with Bugs; Wakko seemed less than pleased with Foghorn…she was still trying to figure out with Porky.

On one hand…he was a stuttering pig.

On the other hand, Wakko was right - he seemed like a big softy. And he also seemed like a nice guy.

"OK , now Dot, w-we're gonna read c-chapter one together; I'll read o-o-out loud…"

_Oh dear. No no no. I do not need anyone to read to me…OK, fine, Yakko can. He reads much more interesting things…and he does the voices too._

_Time to turn on the charm…what to say…_

"Porky, you have such a refined voice."

Porky looked up from the book to her, surprised. "W-W-Why t-thank you - I've had years of voice lessons... "

_Keep a straight face Dot…_

"You? Noooo…Never! Voice lessons?"

_Wonder if he'll buy that -_

"Y-Yes, Even t-toons with a wonderful raw t-talent need to be t-t-trained-"

_It's working…he's not reading the book…steady Dot, don't pump your fist in the air in victory…_

"-much like y-you young lady."

_Drat._

"Oh Porky, I know I need the training. I just hope that one day, I can be as skilled as you…I've seen all your shorts. You know, you were always my favorite."

"R-R-R…Y-You don't say?"

"Oh yeah! My favorite movie with you…uh, is the one that…"

_Shoot, what was the one with him and Daffy…Oh just make something up!_

"Yeah, that one with you, and…Daffy…you know, where you did…stuff - together?"

"Oh, well...D-Do you mean 'Robin Hood Daffy'?"

"Yeah, Yeah! That's the one!"

_Whew._

"You were so obviously the star Porky!" Dot exclaimed. "Why, Daffy was lucky that you allowed him to guest star with him."

"Well Dot, that's always been c-considered a Daffy short-"

Dot huffed in mock annoyance. "Well, that's just terrible! If it wasn't for you, that short would have been horrible. You're just so modest." She batted her eyes at him and did her best doe-eyed look. "I can hardly believe I've been considered to train with you…"

_That woulda had Yakko melting like a pool of butter. Let's see…_

Porky narrowed his eyes at her. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to butter me up…"

"Now would a little girl like me do that Porky?" she asked in her most innocent voice.

She debated on flashing him the dimples with a huge pleading smile, but stopped short of it. She should save that for a last ditch effort.

Porky muttered, "In a m-m-minute." In a louder, more stern voice, he said, "Now stop that! It's not g-gonna w-work, no matter how cute you-"

"Porky, can we spend the first day taking a tour of the lot? Please? I know you have to know your way around this place…please?"

To her delight, she saw the pig starting to weaken, cutting his eyes from her to the book, then to the outside.

"Now stop that Dot! We should really be c-c-concentrating on t-this…"

_Now or never Dot._

"Pretty please?" she begged. She then flashed a smile, showing off her dimples. Yakko said pulling out the dimples could be to over the top cute sometimes. But her older brother also had a saying she thought appropriate for this…desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Please Porky? I've never seen the lot…no one's offered to show me around…and I've never been to a movie studio before. And I am going to be living here, shouldn't I know what's happening around me?" She asked, widening her eyes as much as she was able to.

"Well…"

Sensing that he was about to crumble, she said in her most begging voice, "Pretty please, whipped cream…and a cherry?"

_Always works with Yakko…Yakko likes cherries, maybe Porky does too…_

To her delight, Porky stuttered, "I'm g-g-gonna regret this…but OK, OK. Just stop with the l-looks. And this is the only time for this young lady - you read this section tonight, and Wednesday we go over it...deal?"

_Success!_

"Deal!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"I think that's enough for one day doc; you're eyes are glazing on me."

Yakko glanced at his watch, and was surprised to see it was four-fifteen. His first session was running late. Not that he minded; he could have stayed another three hours listening to the rabbit and still not have been tired.

His first session had been great; better than he could have imagined. As soon as the others had gone, Bugs had quizzed him more for the first thirty minutes on his own strengths and weaknesses, then another thirty minutes on what he had read in the chapters. Bugs had seemed extraordinarily pleased with his answers though, saying that he hadn't realized that Yakko was at the stage he was, and they could start practicing tunnels and doors.

The first hour eaten away by just talking, the rabbit had led him outside, stating that if they were going to practice painting a tunnel, better to do it out there and not on his walls, not to mention, it was a nice day.

Fritzing a bucket of thick India ink, complete with paint brush, Bugs had demonstrated how to paint a tunnel, expanding upon the book's rather cryptic explanation that a tunnel can only go ten feet. Bugs said the reasoning behind that was that the tunnel must be lit with natural light.

He also added that Coyote said that once he made a tunnel that went twenty feet in, but that everyone thought that he either took one too many hits to the head or he was full of malarkey.

Yakko had painted a tunnel entrance and been unable to get in. Bugs didn't seem too shocked, and said it could be months before he perfected it. He said that some toons never master it. Even the ones who did rarely used it. It was like being able to Fritz a bottle of seltzer water - sort of funny, but really, other than on a studio set or during a stand up act, when would you use it?

When they came back in, Bugs handed him two more books; an Algebra book and an English Theory book. He spent another half hour talking about them, then spent the remaining hour talking about acting.

Bugs had been over the moon to find out that Yakko at least didn't have too many worries about stage fright, due to his having been in front of the crowd of toddlers for two years with Goose. Bugs basically went over some terminology that he was likely to start hearing, and outlined what he planned on teaching Yakko.

Introduction to working with a script, improvisation, voice, projection, blocking…Yakko's head was spinning with all the terms and scenarios, suggestions for other tutors for singing, Bugs said something about the studio requiring all its toons to be able to play the piano.

He looked up and saw Bugs looking at him with a smirk on his face. "You OK Mac? I didn't overwhelm you-"

"No, no - I'm fine. Thanks Bugs, this was great, really, I mean that. The classes are really interesting and-."

"Yeah, bet you won't be saying that tomorrow when your arms are sore from reaching over your head to paint a tunnel - bet then you're gonna be saying something completely different about my classes."

Yakko, who was already feeling soreness in his arms and shoulders, smirked back at his tutor, too exhausted to think of a comeback.

"Now that you saw how a tunnel is done, reread the first three chapters and write a page summarizing them."

_First homework assignment. Least it was a light load and he had two days to do it. _

"Read the first chapters in the Math and English book - studio executives will go nuts if they find out you haven't been getting the 'required and legal' lessons too."

_So much for easy and having a light load. Well, Bunny did warn him he was a bit of a task master. _

"There, I did my tutoring duty and assigned homework. Let's go find your brother and sister; see how their first day went. And don't forget Yakko, tomorrow you and the terrible two need to be in Plotz's office at ten for that meeting." Bugs said, leading him out of the office and heading down the hall to Porky's office.

"Trust me, I haven't forgotten about that. The way the veins in his forehead popped out when I asked if we could push the meeting back until after lunch so I wouldn't miss my beauty sleep-"

"Plotz doesn't have much of a sense of humor," Bugs interrupted, knocking on Porky's door. "He can be a decent guy, but I hate to say it, he's fun to mess with."

Porky's stuttering voice was calling 'C-C-Come in', and Bugs opened the door, Yakko following close behind. He was curious how Dot's first session went, and was hopeful that she liked Porky. He seemed like a nice enough toon, very talented, and had just enough of a doting personality to get along well with his sister.

He hoped.

At first glance, the only word that came to Yakko's mind was anal. Porky was a neat freak, along the lines of Felix Unger.

For some reason, he didn't find that surprising.

Porky and Dot were sitting at a table near the window, drinking chocolate milk and looking at a photo album. Dot looked up and beamed at Yakko, and he pointed at his upper lip, telling her she had a milk mustache. When she continued to look at him, he shrugged; she'd figure it out sooner or later.

"Hi Yakko! Guess what! Porky took me on a tour of the lot! I got to see Batman!"

_Well, at least someone had an easy first day._

Bugs walked over to look at the photo album saying, "Hey ya Pork - Hey! I remember that photo!" He exclaimed. "It's from when we did that 'Goodwill Ambassador' stint over in Japan in the sixties!"

"Y-Y-Yes, I figured that Dot w-w-would like to see some of the history of t-t-the studio."

Porky stood up, and Bugs sat down to look at some of the photographs with Dot, laughing and pointing to a few.

Porky walked toward Yakko, snickering as Bugs said something about a dare involving Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, a quart of vodka, pop rocks, mallets and some bananas. Bugs then seemed to remember he was talking to a five year old because he quickly changed the subject and flipped to a different page.

_Don't want to know…I really don't want to know. _

"Hi Yakko, how w-was your first s-session?" The pig asked kindly.

"Fine Porky, though probably not as entertaining as yours."

Porky shrugged. "S-she's cute; s-s-suckered me into the t-tour."

Yakko rolled his eyes. "She'll do that."

"Yes, but I was s-still able to get w-what information I wanted out of her, and actually p-put more in. M-Mostly about the studio and about her hammerspace, but still, not b-bad for the f-first day."

_Bugs better be happy he's got me, _he thought. _At least I'm not going to try to sucker him into giving me daily tours of the lot. Porky's gonna have his hands full. _

"But I g-g-gave her a reading assignment Yakko - what we were supposed to read t-today. I also g-g-gave her a Math and English b-book, but nothing is a-assigned for now."

Yakko shrugged. "OK; it'll give her something to do besides watch TV or figure out ways to get Wakko in trouble. He can do that well enough on his own."

Porky chuckled as Bugs walked back over, Dot in tow.

"Probably need to go get your brother now, before Foghorn drives him crazy."

"Or vise versa," Yakko said.

Hoping that Wakko's session went as well as Dot's and his own, he followed Bugs out the door, Dot still talking happily about what she had seen on the lot.

Before Bugs knocked on the door, he turned his ear to listen. Curious, Yakko raised his own ear and Dot did the same.

As the sound of a loud burp echoed from the room, Dot wrinkled her nose.

"That's gross. And if it's gross, it must be Wakko."

Bugs muttered, "I wouldn't say that."

"That's fine, I say that's fine boy, but you need more air! Inhale deeper, like so-"

Another, much louder burp echoed from the room. Yakko put his hand over his face, Dot made a gagging sound, and Bugs rolled his eyes.

"Knew these two were a matched pair," he muttered as he pushed on the door. It opened without him touching the knob. Looking back at Yakko and Dot, Bugs put his finger to his mouth in a 'shushing' motion and crept in. Snickering silently, Yakko and Dot followed quietly behind him.

_Foghorn has one messy office_, Yakko thought as he looked around. _If Porky was Felix, Foghorn was definitely the Oscar of the pair._

Wakko and Foghorn were sitting at a table against the far wall, back's to the door, having what appeared to be a belching contest. Wakko was standing in his chair, arms akimbo and head thrown back, adding his next entry to the unorthodox contest.

_Lovely; Wakko didn't know enough ways to be obnoxious, he now has a tutor for it. Thankfully Bugs is more mature than that. _

"That's nice, I say that's nice boy, but you'll never get any real volume that way! Pay attention now boy, and follow my lead."

Bugs was creeping up behind Foghorn just as the rooster started his own belch. Wakko started laughing, clapping and cheering for the chicken.

Yakko watched in fascination as Bugs inhaled deeply and let out a belch directly behind Foghorn and Wakko. Surprised, the rooster jumped and spun around to see Bugs smirking. Wakko tumbled out of the chair and missed falling face first on the floor by Foghorn grabbing his tail.

Looking slightly chagrined, Foghorn placed Wakko back in the chair and muttered, "You could have knocked rabbit-"

"Why?" Bugs asked, grinning. "I'd have interrupted this fascinating lesson. What chapter was this in the book doc?"

"Now see here Bunny - we've done - I say we've done gone through our lesson for today. If I'm reading the clock correctly, we're half an hour past the end time, so me and the boy here have been-"

Bugs put his hands up. "Foghorn, really, he's your student -as long as he learns what's required-"

"But I did!" Wakko exclaimed happily, leaning on the back of the chair to look into Bugs' face. "Did you know that a toon's tongue can stretch up to three times his own body length?"

"Yeah, I knew that; forgot it though. Thanks for reminding me," Bugs answered as Dot came over to join the conversation and fill Wakko in on what she saw around the lot.

Foghorn made his way over to a smirking Yakko.

"Wakko drive you crazy?"

"Nice boy; wild as a peach orchard hog, but nice boy." Foghorn looked over at Wakko, who was telling Dot and Bugs about some car. "Gave him some stuff to practice – needs to work on his Chucking skills. Want him to read that chapter in his book and do, I say do the assignment at the end of it. Gave him a Math and English book too; lippy hare said something about the studio was being slow on finding a tutor for the basics."

Yakko snickered; Wakko will love that. And looks like Dot was the one who got off easy today; she only had to read a few pages.

"I'll make sure he does it," Yakko said.

XXXXXXXXXX

February 9, 1993

"A water tower."

"Yes a water tower," Yakko responded, looking at Dot as they walked across the lot to said structure.

_A month of meetings, and this is the best the writers came up with. What did the studio pay these hacks for?_

At least this morning's meeting was more productive than their first meeting with the writers back in January. That meeting had been nothing but trying to figure out what they were and where they could live. A swamp, a trailer, a deluxe apartment in the sky, and a rabbit hole were all considered and thrown out at some point or another in the seven meetings they had been forced to attend.

Today though, it was decided a water tower.

"Trust me Dot, I had the same reaction as you."

"I think it's kinda neat," Wakko said, running ahead of them. "I just don't understand how we're gonna breathe in all that water."

Yakko exchanged a look with Dot, who rolled her eyes.

"The tower's empty Wakko; has been for years," Yakko said. "According to the scenarios and early scripts the writers have laid out, we're supposed to have been trapped in it for the last sixty-odd years. If you hadn't fallen asleep in the meeting you'd know that."

"If they hadn't been so boring, I wouldn't have fallen asleep."

"Can't argue with logic like that," Yakko muttered, gazing up at the tower. They were almost there.

"Now remember guys; Plotz and the others told me that it was in 'a state of disrepair'," he said, quoting their words from the meeting this morning. "This new place, the tower, probably isn't going to look like much yet…they said they're going to fix it up. Which is no doubt why we were told not to look at it yet."

"Which is exactly why we are here looking at it right?" Dot asked, smirking up at him before returning her gaze back to the yellow tower.

A month of meetings with writers, directors, Plotz, and Spielberg had finally produced what this new show was going to be, and what parts they were going to play. Wakko and Dot were so bored and confused in the meetings that they had been excused until things were more concrete.

_Lucky them_, he thought. _I still have to go._

Still tentatively titled 'Animaniacs', they were going to be the hosts of this new variety-sketch-comedy show. Due to their unusual appearances, they were being billed as some of the first toons drawn at the old 'Termite Terrance'. The show's writers were also going with an idea that they had been too crazy and zany, running amuck on the lot and pantsing Jimmy Cagney, so it was decided to lock them up in a water tower for sixty years until they decided to escape. Escape to host a comedy show apparently.

Personally, Yakko thought the whole concept was a little weak. They sat around in a water tower for sixty years, then one day just said 'the hell with this, let's bust out and host a show'.

If nothing else, it made them look very unmotivated.

He was also hesitant about the 'living in a water tower' idea. OK, it would be nice to have their own place. The writers said they planned on having certain sketches and host segments taking place in their 'home'. Between that and the studio's _guardian ad slavus _which stated that the studio would reasonably see to their living needs, Yakko had been assured that the tower would be equipped with power, water, phone and cable.

Plotz had pointed out that Yakko would have to pay the bills for those utilities. Yakko had shrugged; getting the tower set up to do this would be the most expensive portion of the bill. If the studio was paying for set up and deposits, he wasn't worried about paying the bill. He wasn't asking the studio to give them anything free.

Spielberg did say that the studio was working on getting them some additional tutors, and that they would pay for them for the first six months, until all of them were up to speed.

What worried Yakko was something else that was said.

A writer, Stoner, had mentioned something about getting the trio some early screen time and introducing them and some of the rest of the cast to the public early, in a two part, four hour special to be aired on the 'New Toon Review' channel in ToonTown sometime in May.

Yakko was nervous about that. They had only had a handful of classes; he had just perfected tunnels and was now learning holes and doors, not to mention more complicated Chucking and Fritzing maneuvers. This special would showcase them and a few other chosen co-stars, among them some cantankerous old squirrel, her nephew, and a singing cat. The special would show their acting lessons, time with their tutors, the work on the tower, their lives on the lot…

Yakko had thought he was over stage fright. Apparently he was wrong.

At the base of the tower, Yakko looked up and gulped. He never considered himself afraid of heights, but that thing was tall. Once they climbed up, they'd be too exhausted to climb back down. Someone in the meeting had stated they believed the tower was close to a hundred feet tall.

"We gotta climb that Yakko?" Dot asked in a quiet whisper.

"Afraid so-"

"I think it's great! Me first!" Wakko exclaimed, darting from Yakko's right side and beginning to climb the ladder.

"Wakko! Get back…oh forget it. Be careful!" he yelled to his brother's form. He turned to Dot. "You ready?" At her nod, he directed her to go ahead of him. Worse case she fell he might be able to grab her before she plummeted to her death and became nothing but a little blinky splat on the pavement.

Maybe.

As Dot began to climb up the ladder, Yakko watched his brother's rapidly shrinking figure and had to wonder if there was monkey in the bloodline. Taking a breath he began to follow Dot's small figure up.

_Hope they concentrate on teaching us more Chucking soon,_ he thought. _The chance of one of us falling off this thing is big; be nice to know we could protect ourselves by knowing how to land._

Reaching the top, he saw Wakko and Dot had both arrived safely and were waiting on the metal railing around the top of the tower for him. Yakko stepped on the grating and tried not to look down.

"OK, the Warner Brothers shield logo is the door," he said. "Let's check this place out."

When Wakko and Dot nodded, he grasped the frame of the shield and pulled, wincing at the horrible creaking and groaning that came from the door.

"Hope they plan on oiling this," he muttered.

When it was opened, he stepped inside, Wakko and Dot scrunching up behind him to look as well.

Dark, dank and musty were the three words that came to his mind. He didn't have a flashlight to look into the farther reaches of the interior of the tower; by the way the sunlight was glinting around, he thought he saw a door. Too much trash and debris were on the floor for him to even consider walking in. Apparently after the water had been drained so long ago, the tower had been used for storage. Maybe for old Christmas decorations, judging by the large star sitting in the corner.

_Jeeze, I know toons are adaptable and we can live a lot of interesting places that a human couldn't, but really, a water tower? What the hell were the writers smoking?_

"Wow! It's so messy…can we keep our rooms this messy too?" Wakko said breathlessly behind him.

_Figures; he was enchanted. _

"Disgusting. Yakko," Dot said quietly. "We don't have to live here…do we?"

_Another given; she was repulsed._

"Fraid so sister sibling," he said back. "Studio decided it."

"Personally, I'd rather live on Mockingbird Lane," Dot muttered. "This place is giving me the creeps."

_OK, they had been told not to look at the tower yet. So, of course, they had immediately gone to look. The condition of the tower was no doubt why they had been told not to look at it. _

The studio had their work cut out for them if they had any hope of getting this habitable before February 15th, the first day of shooting with them for the documentary. They would be shooting before then, but it would be with the technicians and electricians and plumbers and whoever else would be involved in getting the tower livable for three toons.

He snickered to himself; _hope Plotz has a big fat checkbook waiting somewhere…it's gonna cost a fortune to fix this up. _

"Well Dot," Yakko said, still taking the interior in and holding Wakko back before he disappeared forever into the nearest pile of rubbish and dust. "Personally, this is nowhere near as bad as I thought."

"It's not?" Dot asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Nope…It's actually much much worse."

XXXXXXXXXX

February 18, 1993

"I didn't like that doctor Yakko."

"I didn't either Wak, but he is one of the approved studio chaperones. Stay on his good side - we might need him whenever we have to go grocery shopping."

"But we have to talk to him!" Wakko cried.

"Talk to him!" Dot exclaimed. "I'm still thinking about how we have to kiss him! Blech!"

Yakko watched as both Wakko and Dot partially shoved a finger down their throats before Wakko started talking again.

"I'm not doing that Yak-"

"When we have to, we will," he said flatly.

_I'm not looking forward to it, but as the lone mature one in this group, I'll put on a happy face and rally the troops around this horrid idea._

"Think of it this way guys - each kiss is worth four figures. When the script calls for it, close your eyes, pucker up and think of your savings account."

_I know I will._

Yakko tried to repress his shudder; he wasn't looking forward to any script that called for him to plant a smooch on Dr. Scratchansniff the studio shrink.

Now his assistant, Lisa Ann Miller, a.k.a. 'Hello Nurse', well, he could certainly do that. All by himself too - he wouldn't force Dot or Wakko to kiss her. He would take one for the team.

"Can't I bow out of that one?" Dot pleaded. "He smells funny-"

"Like Sauerkraut Yakko. Sauerkraut," Wakko stressed before adding with a shudder, "I hate Sauerkraut."

"I know sib, I could smell it across Plotz's office. I was about to put Vick's Vapor Rub under my nose so I wouldn't have to smell it."

Three hours of a meet and greet this morning. It was an extremely productive meeting, not like the meetings of the last month and a half, where someone had basically talked around ideas, but never got anything nailed down.

The studio had finally decided to get around to finding them chaperones so they could leave the lot. The list of chaperones approved for them included their tutors, Dr. Scratchansniff, Plotz himself, and the luscious Lisa Ann Miller, who was the chaperone only for Dot; something about how Dot would need to go out sometimes with a girl for girl things. No elaboration was given to that pronouncement to a confused Wakko, a delighted Dot, or a smirking Yakko.

Also included in their grand 'studio approved chaperone' list was some crotchety old squirrel named Slappy, who would be on the show and had demanded to know what her additional pay would be for escorting three brats around.

When Plotz had informed her that there would be no additional pay, it was supposed to be an honor, she had proceeded to chase him around the desk with her mallet. The fifth time around he agreed to reconsider.

What had delighted Yakko to no end was when she had pulled him to the side later and whispered that she didn't have any problem escorting them anywhere; she did it all the time for her nephew. This nephew, Skippy by name, would also not only be on the show, but would probably be under studio protection himself if she wasn't his legal guardian.

No, she had just really wanted to chase the CEO around with a mallet - she thought he was a pompous windbag. The only thing she was upset about was that she hadn't been able to catch him before Porky had stopped her.

Slappy had endeared herself to him for that alone.

The writers had ironed out any discrepancies in the script and cast, so they had to meet quite a large group of toons. A dog and his human girl who was about five but was 'growth impaired' and would be playing a toddler were the first they met, and the first to leave, the lucky devils. After that they had to meet a dumb dog, a cat that belted out several songs during the meeting, two fat hippos, and a couple of mice. One mouse was extremely intelligent and Yakko had spent almost half an hour talking to him before being dragged away by one big ass chicken who just clucked at him.

Then Mr. Bunny, the rabbit writer from the audition had been there, as well as the beaver writer, taking notes and talking out scenarios and plot ideas with everyone. When Mr. Bunny had talked to Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, he had informed them that they were the main stars and thus would be responsible for the main portions of the show. They would usually have a short sketch or song, and would be making frequent 'guest appearances' on the others shorts. Some sort of bridging technique to tie everything together was all Yakko had gotten out of it.

They had finally been able to escape the hellish meeting, leaving the tutors to talk to directors and writers about some things they would immediately need to begin teaching them if there was any hope of being able to shoot a pilot and a few episodes for premier in ToonTown in June. They had been anxious to leave; the words were hardly out of some other writer's mouth before they were disappearing down the hall.

The most exciting thing that had happened was their first paychecks, all deposited in the multiple accounts that Yakko had opened for the three of them. They would have money deposited every month from the studio. That gave him a bit of relief; if he screwed up and accidentally spent too much money one month, more would be deposited. He had every intention of being careful.

He had already decided to give both his siblings ten dollars a week as an allowance. Ten dollars should be enough for a five and eight year old; if need be it could be adjusted at a later time.

They could actually go to the store to get their own food; the tower had a kitchen. He could cook again, and start teaching Wakko and Dot how to do it as well.

They could actually buy clothes that fit all of them correctly, and some school supplies. He was excited about the prospect of being self sufficient and no longer having to rely on the studio to actually dole out food and what-not to them.

Yakko looked over his shoulder; they had managed to out walk the fat director and his equally fat cameraman who had taken to following them around the lot, trying to get 'candid' footage of the three of them for the documentary.

"Well, take heart siblings, at least we out walked those guys."

"Too bad," muttered Dot. "If they knew how little we thought of them-"

"They could find ways to be even more annoying," finished Yakko.

"Well, that too," Dot said. "I was referring to the doctor and Plotz though."

They had finally moved into the water tower, abandoning the dressing rooms they had spent the last three months in.

As they walked, Yakko moved his gaze upwards to look at their new home.

_A water tower. Still can't believe it._

He had to give the studio props, they had spared no expense in fixing up their new domicile. He had been surprised to discover that they had put in a fairly decent kitchen, a large bathroom, and two bedrooms.

After some talking, fussing, whining and a longer discussion, it had been decided that Dot would take the smaller of the bedrooms. He and Wakko would share the larger bedroom.

There had been some additional fussing and whining about neither of them climbing or descending the tower ladder without his express permission. Whether he would be able to do anything in the event of a fall was questionable, but he could try.

Bugs had been working with him nonstop on not only Chucking in the event of a fall, but on pulling something worthwhile out of his hammerspace. Bugs had already shown him how to Fritz parachutes for Wakko and Dot to wear, much to their chagrin. And they lasted a decent amount of time now too; more than enough time for either of them to get up or down the ladder.

The studio had even chipped in some money for some furnishings. Since they had paid for it, the studio had sent Mr. Plotz, along with a few set and scenery designers along with them to choose furniture. Yakko was less then pleased with the yellow couch that had been 'strongly suggested and that you might as well say yes to because it's ending up in your living room whether you like it or not'. The same with the bunk beds he and Wakko were forced to buy. Dot had been able to choose her own bed, but a writer had said something about when bedroom scenes were filmed, they would most likely all be in the same room.

Yakko shrugged; maybe that would be on a set or something. He really didn't care; he was too ecstatic that they were finally getting their own place no matter how bizarre their living quarters would be, their tutoring was going well, and they were now getting paid because the documentary was being shot.

To celebrate their move and Dot's subsequent finding of her hammerspace the next day when she had tripped in the tower, he had splurged and bought a television and VCR. Both his siblings were thrilled.

He was too, not only about finally having a TV and of actually having a home to put the TV in, but of Dot finding her hammerspace.

At first he had been leery of spending the money on a television; they had only just recently been giving their first paychecks. He shouldn't spend all his money right away. Not to mention, if they didn't have a television, he and his sibs could spend more time on their studying.

Then he'd rethought that. All work and no play would make for a really dull group of Warners. Plus their show would have some topical humor of the day; it would be prudent to know exactly what they were parodying. Plus, he missed watching television and movies as much as his siblings.

After that reasoning, he had purchased them with a shrug; he was a kid. He was allowed to be somewhat irresponsible once in a while.

The studio had finally found a piano tutor for them. According to stipulations in the contract, all toons were required to learn piano. They would be starting their lessons next week.

An executive had also given Yakko a list of available tutors they had on the lot for extra classes they could take depending on their interests and talents. He had perused the list with both his siblings, going over pros and cons of each class. Dot seemed primarily interested in singing and dancing, Wakko in any musical classes he could find.

Yakko was excited. He was happy that things were moving along now; after sitting in the dressing room for so long waiting for something to happen, all this action was making his head spin.

He felt overwhelmed as well. Going from a ghetto kid raising two siblings, to a street kid raising two siblings, to a television star in the making raising two siblings was something that he had never imagined would happen to himself.

He thought back to what Dr. Scratchansniff had said when he first met them. He was not only going to be portraying their psychiatrist on the show, he really was a psychiatrist. Plotz had already laid out some demands. With Yakko and Wakko's history, they were both required to get counseling for kleptomania.

Yakko had snorted at that; he wasn't a kleptomaniac – he didn't even like the stealing. Wakko may be one, it was hard to say. Wakko had mostly thought of it as a game, but the fright he had gotten at the convention, not to mention having to return Yosemite's wallet, seemed to have cured him of that problem.

So as not to make waves though, Yakko had agreed they would talk to the doctor for five sessions. The doctor was also going to talk to Dot, feeling she may have been traumatized by her early life living on the street.

She had thrown a hissy fit about that, accusing the doctor of all sorts of unspeakable crimes, a few of which Yakko was sure were impossible.

Nevertheless, she also was going to have five sessions with the doctor, starting within a few weeks. Three would be by herself, two would be with all of them.

Yakko snickered to himself; the three of them together would probably drive the p-sychiatrist into the corner in a fetal position weeping large bitter tears before the first session was out.

He was honestly looking forward to it.

"Why are these people still following us Yakko?" Dot asked him quietly, interrupting his thinking.

_Because they're annoying pains in the asses? _

"Because they're filming for that documentary Dot, you know that."

"I hope they don't film us going clothes shopping; the thought of them filming us buying underwear gives me the willies-"

"Not me! I don't need any! I don't have to wear any pants!" Wakko laughed.

At their last meeting they had been told what their costumes would be. Wakko was put into a red cap, which he had promptly fell in love with and begged the wardrobe lady to let him keep, and a blue shirt and no pants. Yakko rolled his eyes; that seemed to thrill him to no end.

"Charming Wakko," Yakko muttered.

"At least you don't have to wear that tacky flower and stupid skirt," Dot said.

"But you like pink," Yakko said, looking at her. She was wearing a pink shirt with jeans embellished with pink flowers. She even had a pink bow tying her ears back.

_She looks like a damn cupcake she's got so much pink on. What's her deal? _

"I do," she agreed. "I love pink. But the skirt, the style…it's just so old-fashioned!"

"You're supposed to have been a toon from the early thirties," Yakko said. "Of course it's old fashioned. Don't forget the country was in the middle of a depression in the thirties; be happy you're not wearing a patched skirt and a pillbox hat. I don't usually wear my khaki's three sizes too big, nor would I wear that belt, but you don't see me crying."

Dot stomped her foot. "I'm not crying! I'm-"

"Whining."

Yakko shot a grin at Wakko, amused that they both had said it at the same time.

"Fine, team up on me," she sulked.

"Cheer up Dot," Yakko said in a soothing voice. "When we get up in the tower, we still need to go through the list and choose any additional classes we want to take. You mentioned Ballet, right?"

Dot nodded and Yakko grinned. It was so easy to keep her happy.

"I wanted violin and harp," Wakko said.

"One or the other; remember we still have to take piano. The studio recommended that you only take one additional music class."

"So?" Wakko shrugged. "I can drop Math and take both."

"Nope sib; have to take the required stuff."

"You said I could choose whatever I wanted."

"As long as your choices include Math and piano, I don't care."

"Fine. I'll take the violin. For now," Wakko grumbled. "I still want to learn harp."

Yakko shrugged. "How about a deal? You keep the grades up, and you stick to both instruments for…ehhhhhhhh…ten months - December. If you can do that, I'll find an extra tutor for harp for your birthday…though you'll probably have to arrange to take the lesson on the weekend when it won't get in the way of all your other classes and shooting. Deal?"

"Deal," Wakko said, nodding his head once before hanging his tongue back out of the side of his mouth.

Yakko grinned to himself and wondered how this deal would turn out. Wakko would either get bored with both lessons in the first ten minutes, or he'd shock the hell out of him, stick with both and end up playing a variety of instruments.

_Either way, it should keep him out of to much mischief. _

"What about me Yakko? I wanted to take more dance classes!"

Yakko rolled his eyes, wondering when his two siblings were more interested in education than he was.

"Fine, same deal. Choose the one dance you want now. Ballet right?" At Dot's nod, he continued. "Keep your grades up for the next…nine months and I'll find a second tutor for…ehhhhhhh…what type of dance did you want?"

Yakko scratched his head. He couldn't think of many more; dancing tended to bore him.

_Let's see, Ballet, Tango, Jigs, Waltz…oh please don't want to learn Disco…or folk. Because no matter what county it's from, folk dancing is lame… _

"Maybe Hip-Hop?"

_Hell no._

"Forget it - you are not shaking what your mama gave ya. Try again…how about square dancing?"

_That should be safe…God knows it's non-sexual…_

With a sneer that would have made weaker men back away, Dot exclaimed, "Yakko! I am not square dancing! Do I look like some old lady?"

"You're playing a sixty year old toon," Wakko muttered. "And Bugs did it-"

"Shut up Wakko!" Dot huffed. "Fine. Guess Belly dancing is out of the question too…"

Yakko shot her a look, and she grinned.

"How about Theater dance? I saw something about that. It's Jazz, Tap, some Lyrical; that sound safe enough for you big brother?"

_It did actually._

Yakko nodded. "Fine. Good safe choice. Same deal; keep your grades up and stick with the ballet for nine months-"

"Hey! How come she's only gotta wait nine months and I have to wait ten?"

"You need the math class worse than I thought Wakko. Dot's birthday is in nine months, yours is in ten."

_And your instruments cost a ton more than a few pair of dance shoes. _

Dot threw a smug look over toward Wakko, and Yakko smirked when he heard Wakko mutter 'Don't gloat Dot. It's not cute.'

XXXXXXXXXX

March 5, 1993

_I'm gonna pie him if he flicks the base of my ear and says 'pay attention now boy' one more freaking time…_

Wakko rubbed the base of his ear grumpily as he descended the stairs. Foghorn had been a bit irritable during this session. Probably due to the fact that Wakko hadn't bothered to do any of the homework he had assigned, and he had assigned a lot.

And how could he be expected to? They had been filming and moving and running all over the city trying to find furniture and with all the additional classes now; Math, English, piano, acting and script reading and he had violin now as well.

That thought put a smile on his face. He enjoyed his sessions with Foghorn, despite the chicken's demands for him to pay attention. He liked the piano lessons with Wilhelm Katsaris, even though Yakko and Dot both disliked him immensely and were already putting up a demand to get a new tutor. Wakko didn't exactly like him either, but the guy was a master at the piano. It was worth listening to him talk about how great he was if he could teach him how to play like he did.

But mostly, he adored his violin lessons; it was even better than he could have imagined. He had been astonished when he found out who his teacher was; Wile E. Coyote.

Wakko would never have guessed that the skinny toon who on screen spent his time getting blown up, squashed or otherwise injured while pursuing a bird was off screen an accomplished violinist. The toon, while speaking in a rather clipped upper crust accent, told him that he'd heard from Bugs that Wakko was interested in learning to play the violin. If Wakko was serious about learning the instrument and was willing to dedicate the time and effort it would require, he was willing to become his tutor.

Wakko, floored, had agreed instantly with Yakko's approval. Wile had nodded, told him when his lessons would be, said he would inform Plotz, and had then said they should go and find an instrument posthaste.

Wakko hadn't been sure what 'posthaste' meant, but he had nodded.

They had gone out last week, taking Bugs with them as the 'studio approved chaperone'. Wile had said he should get his violin at 'Cabot's Musical Warehouse'. Yakko could also get his guitar there. After a few hours of discussion with the clerk and listening to him and Wile play several different violins, Wakko had chosen the 'Otto Ernest Fisher'.

Wile and the clerk had approved, saying the Fisher had a sweet clear sound, was easy to play, and was reasonably priced. Thankfully, Wile had been able to suggest several bows that were flexible, had even balance, and a good weight.

Bugs had suggested the case. The clerk seconded that suggestion. Wakko thought it was mostly because the guy wanted to make a few extra dollars. Yakko said it was because it would end up as toothpicks if Wakko was carrying it around for lessons in the tutoring building. Wile said something about a violinist should make sure that his instrument was always taken care of.

Unfortunately, Yakko had said 'fair's fair'. Because they had had to stay in the music store getting his violin, they all had to go to 'Desirée G's' and watch Dot try on pair after pair of ballet shoes. 'Slippers' she had screamed at him. Apparently the slippers were for practicing being soft. Later they used 'pointe shoes' when…well…something happened. They pranced around on their toes maybe?

_Shoes. Slippers. Whatever. They were all boring. _

Walking outside into the bright sunlight, Wakko concentrated and put his books in his hammerspace, feeling them whisk away. Now he could forget he had a writing assignment due for a few days. As long as he did this one and gave it half a shot of doing it correctly, he would keep Foghorn happy, and his loud tutor wouldn't actually carry though on his threat to report him to Yakko.

_What to do now?_

He was rarely let out early from his lesson, and wasn't used to having any free time before lunch. He supposed he better enjoy it; from what he understood, as things began to get going more and they would have to start doing tutoring around a shoot, their schedules would change again.

Yakko had said he could look around the lot, if he didn't disrupt any shootings, didn't wander to far, and stayed out of trouble.

Wakko snorted – _when did that happen?_

Tugging at the collar of his new blue turtleneck, he pulled his cap farther back on his head. Before their lessons today, they had costume and wardrobe fitting. Deciding that Yakko and Wakko looked too similar, one of the wardrobe personnel had thrown the large red cap on his head to break up the monotony of the two of them.

After a few minutes, he decided he actually liked the hat and had asked to keep it. His costume was a blue shirt. The only funny thing about that was he had been wearing a blue shirt going in. He looked like he was in costume, but he wasn't.

Deciding that he might as well wander around for a bit, he headed toward the soundstages. He should be able to find something interesting that would keep him out of trouble. As long as he was in the cafeteria to meet Yakko and Dot by twelve-thirty P.M., he would be OK.

Wandering between a few buildings being used for storage, he lifted his ears slightly – he could hear voices talking, low and muted – whoever it was was around the right corner of the building. Sounded like it could be kids.

Shrugging he continued toward them – might be someone new to talk to. Some kids would be nice; all he had really talked to were adults. They were OK, but he always felt the adults on the lot were watching to make sure he or one of his siblings weren't getting ready to cause trouble.

Either way, he was already halfway down the alley, and he didn't see any real need to turn back.

Coming up on the corner, he could make out more of what the voices were saying

"-just inhale the thing stupid!"

"Cram it mongoloid – I'm new to this shit!"

"Will you two idiots hurry up – if I get busted doing this, I'm grounded...again."

"You get grounded every week; don't blame us for that you half-wit hare."

"Usually I'm grounded due to something I did with you feather-head."

Wakko listened as the voices continued to argue.

_The voices were familiar; really familiar..._

He came around the corner and almost fell on his face he was so shocked – he was laying eyes on three stars –

Plucky Duck, Montana Max, and Buster Bunny. And they were...smoking?

_Whoa._

He was slightly torn on what to do – half of him wanted to run up and meet them – the other half wanted to run away – he didn't know what to say to major stars. He barely stammered out an apology to Yosemite Sam and had been tongue tied when he had first met Bugs Bunny...

He observed them. They hadn't noticed him yet; they were all still puffing, or attempting to puff, on their cigarettes and making jokes with each other about sports teams, trouble they caused, planned on causing, each other's faces, and what they wanted for lunch.

He had always thought Max was supposed to be a real jerk– he still seemed like one, but the other two appeared to like him. They didn't seem to be held there against their will. Max even had his arm causally thrown over Plucky's shoulder; they almost seemed like they were friends.

Buster Bunny was standing next to Max, looking like he wasn't sure what to do with the cigarette. That could be said for all of them though; they would take a puff, cough for a few seconds, then, gasping out some part of a conversation, would try again.

He decided to go up and try to meet them; they always seemed friendly enough on the show – and they looked a lot closer to his age then he first thought too. He had always thought they were older, maybe even as old as Yakko. Probably a lot of Toon Theory and make-up involved in that though.

He had taken two steps toward them when Max finally turned around.

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed before staring to laugh, pointing a finger at him. "What the hell are you supposed to be?"

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all..._

End Chapter 15


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 - Friends and Commandments

Surprised not only by the statement but by the tone, Wakko's steps faltered. Trying to keep the look of surprise and hurt off his face, he looked at them, wondering if he had inadvertently offended them or if they were always this nasty to their fans.

Buster and Plucky were eyeballing him, both still holding their cigarettes and watching him with looks of dislike, eyes unfriendly and lips or beak curling in disgust.

_What did I do to them? Better try to be friendly._

"Um, hi."

_Great, that will get me far._

"I really like your guys' show - "

"Well gee, I'll rest easy tonight," Plucky drawled.

"Great guys – we got ourselves a fanboy," Buster added, taking a small puff on his cigarette, then coughing.

_Jerk. _

_OK, try again._

"Uh, yeah – I watch it every time I get a- "

"Wonderful – look inksplot- "

Wakko cut Plucky off. Holding his hand out, he said. "My name's not ink spl-"

Max, who had been watching the exchange, started laughing again. "We know you damned idiot! We also don't care what it is! Now get out of here!"

Wakko put his hand down; it obviously wasn't going to be accepted by these three. He bit the corner of his lip and quickly tried to think of something to say next. He had no idea they would be this unfriendly. Just goes to show that Yakko was right when he said what you saw on TV wasn't always what you got when the actors were away from the cameras.

"Look, I just wanted to say hi. We're new to the studio and-"

Plucky muttered, "Why do they let people split off from the damn tour groups and bother the stars while they're relaxing?"

"Yeah, you looked real relaxed, coughing up a lung," Wakko said, then promptly shut his mouth.

What was he thinking? He watched these guys on TV. He was a big fan, and he was being rude to them. Come to think of it though, they were being rude too...

"Go piss up a rope inkstain," Plucky shot back.

_Inkstain?_

"Look, get the hell out of here," Max said, pointing out the opening of the alley.

"We can't make that any clearer – or are you stupid?"

_Stupid?_

Buster looked back at him and added, "And make sure you keep your mouth shut – last thing I need is to be busted by a talking puppy. I've already had a crappy day-"

_I'm changing my mind; this guy isn't a jerk; he's a total ass._

"Try learning your lines next time," Max muttered.

Insulted, Wakko exclaimed, "I'm not a puppy!"

_I don't care if I look like an impolite jerk and just talked over a major star._

Max started waving his arm at him to shoo him off. "Get going mime!" Turning to Buster, he said, "He's gonna go tell Plotz. Then Plotz will start with us corrupting the new meat at the lot or something."

Plucky added with a sneer, "We can't trust him." Cutting his eyes toward Wakko, he added, "He's probably a snitch."

Wakko, who had had slowly been backing away, getting ready to turn to go back up the alley and away from them, stopped to glare at the duck. No one said he was a squealer.

"I'm no snitch!"

"How do we know?" The duck shot back. "We supposed to just take your word for it?"

Smirking, Plucky turned his head enough to look at the rabbit and human toon, who were now watching with amusement "Hey, question guys; what should we do with a snitch?"

Buster started snickering, saying "I think we should tie that tail of his around his mouth to keep him quiet."

Max, also snickering, shrugged and said, "How about cramming that stupid hat in his mouth?"

_I like my cap!_

Plucky looked back at Wakko and smirked. "Mouth that size, tails and hats won't be enough. Maybe gluing his mouth closed; that'll keep a snitch quiet-"

_Oh that's it!_

Reaching into his hammerspace, he concentrated and found his mallet – he was finally going to be able to use it and on a group of deserving jerks too.

"I used to like your show but I'm not taking this from you tools! I said I'm no snitch and I'll brain the next one who says I am!"

The three Tiny Toons, who had watched stunned when he pulled out his large mallet and started yelling, now began to laugh. Wakko watched in anger as they all leaned on each other for support as they continued their lame attempts to smoke their cigarettes.

"Watch out guys – we pissed off the mime!" Max howled, taking a drag off the cigarette and coughing as he continued to laugh.

Plucky said something about talking ink-stains being as pathetic as Hampton in a mosh pit before falling into a laughing heap on the ground, Max still laughing behind him at his joke.

Of the three, Buster was the first to pull himself together. Still holding his cigarette, which he had been ignoring in light of the hilarity of the last few minutes, he turned to look at Wakko, smile still on his face.

"Look, the mallet is almost as big as you are. Why don't you just stick it back where you got it before you embarrass yourself."

_Oh if only I could!_

Wakko really wanted to leave, but he didn't want to look like a chicken. He also shouldn't have pulled his mallet out – Foghorn said he wasn't quite ready to use it yet without causing permanent injury. Once again, acting before thinking his plan through.

And these guys had been training with tutors for years. They could probably brain him and tie his tail around his mouth, which would be embarrassing.

Not that he was going to let them know they could kick his butt all over the lot.

"If I use this, I'm not the one that's going to be embarrassed you furry Smurf."

_Oh I'm bluffing so bad and my comebacks are lame and I'm going to get brained probably with my own mallet I can see it now…_

Max and Plucky started laughing harder at his statement while Buster scowled, first at them before turning back to Wakko.

"Smurf; creative. Get lost inky - I've got a mallet too-"

Max cut him off. "Been using it longer and no doubt more successfully."

Wakko caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. Someone was coming up the alley. Turning to look, he let out a groan.

Dr. Scratchansniff was walking down the alley toward them all. Wakko didn't dislike the doctor, but he smelled funny and thought he and Yakko had serious mental problems. The last time he had seen them, he'd pronounced them both 'kooky-in-de-head'.

But the doctor had seen his mallet out, and was coming quicker now. Wakko smirked to himself; the Tiny Turds didn't see him yet. He was tempted to not tell them too; it would serve them right. Verbally attacking him when all he wanted to do was say hi and tell them how much he liked their show.

_Inkstain indeed..._

"That's what I thought - good doggie," Buster drawled at him as he watched Wakko put his mallet away.

"Now be a good pup and go chase a car into the street, OK?" Plucky added while Max continued to laugh.

_I should let them get caught..._

_I can't do that._

"Shut up stupid – it's Scratchy!" he hissed at him, trying to watch them and the doctor at the same time.

"What the hell's a Scratchy?" Max asked while wiping tears from his eye and Buster shrugged.

He heard a frightened 'eep' come from the duck's bill; at least he knew what the hell a Scratchy was. Wakko watched with pleasure as Plucky looked up and hissed

'Scratchansniff'.

All three toons froze, lit cigarettes still in their hands, and looked at each other worriedly.

They were trapped in-between these two buildings and 'Scratchy' was almost there.

_No where to run guys, better put them out..._

"Damn – if I get caught causing any more trouble..." Buster trailed off

Max said quickly, "Morons! Out! Put them out!"

"Where stupid?" Plucky asked quietly. With a glare towards Wakko he added,

"inksplot's gonna tell him anyway."

_Oh I should too, after I pound you into stew meat..._

"He's here, he can see us now!" Buster hissed. "Just hide the stupid things! Why I listen to you Max…'Oh let's just try one, what can happen?'" the rabbit finished off with a nasty sounding mimic of the other boy.

"Dad's gonna kick my ass," muttered Plucky.

Dr. Scratchansniff stopped in front of Wakko just as the three stars put the cigarettes behind their backs. Wakko turned to look up at him, half smiling at the sounds of the three of them hissing 'what the hell do we do' to each other.

"Hello there boys. You is all meeting each other, ya? Dat is good. Say, what is you kiddies doing, huh? Hiding back in dis alley is very suspicious…"

Dr. Scratchansniff stepped back a few feet from Wakko to survey the little group. Wakko had the distinct impression that these three had been in trouble before. Maybe they had to talk to the funny sounding doctor too.

Well, he could have some sympathy for them with regards to any session with him. He had one with Yakko yesterday, and had spent a very long two hours listening to the doctor asking them about their 'kleptomania', despite Yakko telling him that neither of them was a kleptomaniac. Yakko did what he thought was best to keep the three of them alive; Wakko just had a problem listening and wanted to do it on his own.

All in all though, the session had ended on a positive note; Yakko had determined that Scratchy was a bigger quack than Dr. Terminus and had promptly stomped out, dragging Wakko with him.

Hearing the three toons still stammering, Wakko listened with a smirk. He was going to have to make a decision to either help or not.

_I shouldn't; they wouldn't help me. But, jerks or not, I'm not going to be known as any kind of snitch. Kids have to stick together in the face of doctors who smell like bad German food. Besides, if I'm here with them, I'll probably get blamed for it too._

Stepping forward so he was directly in front of the doctor, Wakko jumped up in his face and said loudly, "Hi ya Scratchy! I was just asking them...uh... which machine here...uh, on the lot that is, not here in this alley…um...had the tastiest candy bars!"

_Oh that was so lame…the others may as well just hand over their cigarettes to Scratchy now so he can march all of us off to Plotz's office._

Luckily, the rabbit was smarter than he was friendly, because he took this stupid idea and played with it.

"Yeah! Uh huh – he just asked! And the machine with the uh...tastiest candy bars..." The rabbit gave him a look that clearly said he thought Wakko was nuts before saying, "Is the one outside Studio 6A ! Real good selection and honest prices…" Buster trailed off and gave Wakko a look that he wasn't able to read.

Max slapped a hand to his forehead, keeping the other bent behind his back. Snickering, he added, "Yeah, even got MallowMars over there...uh...can't beat that."

Plucky chimed in with, "Yep, and Rolo's – you just never see a machine with Rolo's! A candy lover's taste buds just sing once they see that machine."

The three gave big toothy smiles to the doctor, while Wakko closed his eyes. The morons hadn't put the cigarettes out, and he and the doctor were now watching smoke curling up from behind their backs.

_No wonder they're in trouble all the time – they think even less than I do._

Scratchansniff pointed toward Buster, whose face changed from calm and smirking to surprised.

"Uh, Buster, what is that behind your back? And behind you other two? It appears that something is on fire...What have you kiddies been doing?"

The three stars had looks of wild-eyed panic on their faces looking from the doctor to Wakko then at each other.

Wakko looked at them, feeling slightly sorry for the group – he was certainly familiar with the feeling of knowing you were busted, caught in the act and couldn't do a thing about it.

_Only one thing to do...so going to regret this – I don't wanna do it on the show and I'm gonna get paid for it there..._

Wishing he hadn't read a few of the preliminary scripts and thus wouldn't have this idea stuck in his head, he watched as Scratchansniff stepped around him and went directly to Buster. The rabbit was frozen in shock and surprise, trying to get his jaw to work, but was simply opening and closing it like an automated toy.

Max watched with his own jaw dropped. Plucky's eyes were half bugged out of his head. Wakko was pretty sure the duck was either going to run or go postal.

_Why am I doing this for these guys?_

Making his decision, Wakko inhaled, and with a quick run, pushed the rabbit toon out of his way and back into the wall. Hearing the boy thump against the brick structure, Wakko took a small leap and jumped into the arms of the startled doctor.

Scrunching up his face and closing his eyes, Wakko took his hands and clutched the doctor's face. With one final regretful thought that he was never going to go down any alleys on this lot ever again, he puckered up and gave the doctor a big sloppy kiss – right on his lips. At least he would be in practice for the show.

_I'm going to hurl; he smells like Bratwurst and Sauerkraut . So much for eating lunch._

Scratchansniff was trying to pull him off his face while Wakko tried to hold him firm, gagging from the revolting scent and taste, trying to give the other boys enough time to put away their cigarettes.

Wakko felt his lips stretching as the doctor gave one hard yank, and felt his lips come free from the doctor's face with a loud 'popping' sound. The doctor held him at arms length and began coughing and making hacking sounds.

He wasn't the only one who felt like doing that. Wakko wished he had a toothbrush with him.

"Patooie! Wakko! What is you doing you crazy Warner? We is not filming!" Still holding him in the air, Scratchansniff narrowed his eyes at him and held him so he was inches from his face. "What were you doing just now? You were trying something funny, ya? You think to hide things from me?"

_No wonder he's a doctor...sharp guy like him..._

Wakko took a quick glance behind him; the three toon's arms were now crossed in front of them, hands cigarette free. Max was smirking, Plucky was looking apprehensive, and Buster's face was unreadable.

_Probably those big teeth in the way._

Turning back to the doctor, Wakko grinned and said, "Uh, ya! I mean, no! Sorry Scratchy, I was uh – um – what I was doing was -"

_Darn – can come up with an excuse to save those morons, but can't come up with one to save my own hide._

Come to find out, he didn't have to.

"He was showing us what one of his scenes would look like. You know, from your new show."

Wakko, surprised, turned to look down at Buster, who had stepped forward and was standing in front of Scratchansniff.

_He's helping me? Even after all the 'mime' and 'inksplot' comments? _

_Screw it, he should._

Buster flashed him a Cheshire Cat smile, and continued.

"He was telling us all about his new show and the amazing talent he works with...including you."

_Buster's a pretty smooth liar. No way I could have said that with a straight face._

Buster crossed his arms again, giving the doctor a large smile. Plucky and Max, followed suit, both looking like they were about to burst out laughing again.

_Hurry up dummy - rabbit gave you an opening, use it!_

"Uh, yeah Dr. Scratchansniff – I was just trying to show them a scene! Sorry if I surprised you – but we do try to surprise you in the scripts I've seen so-"

The good doctor had apparently had enough of him though. He leaned down and gently set Wakko on his feet beside Buster.

With one final look at all of them, Dr. Scratchansniff said, "It's quite all right Wakko. Ugh, now I know what I have to look forward to."

With a sigh and a sad shake of his head, the doctor patted him twice on the head before walking off, muttering about crazy kids on the lot and he just didn't have time to help them all.

Wakko watched him walk off, smirking to himself. The doctor no doubt thought he was certifiably insane now. It made him wonder what the next session was going to be like.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and he stiffened slightly, assuming the fight was about to commence now that the authority figure was gone.

He spun around, already preparing to reach into his hammerspace in an attempt to find a weapon before one of the toons threw a pie in his face or worse. He refused to go down without a fight.

Instead, he saw that the three boys had come forward and were standing in front of him. None of them looked like they were about to brain him though. They were all staring at him, looking self-conscious and relieved.

After staring at them for a few seconds, he shrugged, thankful he wasn't seeing stars from a well Chucked mallet. But, he had better things to do besides talk to these three idiots

anymore.

"Damn that was close," Max muttered, running a hand through his hair as he eyed Wakko before turning to the other two.

Wakko gritted his teeth. "It wouldn't have been if you had put the cigarette out-"

"Yeah, well, we're new to that. Last time I'm trying it," Plucky said, giving Max a glare. "But since I'm still convinced you're gonna tell someone or blackmail us–"

Plucky was cut off as Buster gave him an elbow in the stomach, and the duck sent a nasty glare toward the rabbit, rubbing his abdomen.

Buster stepped forward, his face an unreadable mask, and Wakko glared at him, tired of this – he should have just gone to the cafeteria – the toons on this lot were jerks. He started to turn around to leave, but stopped when the rabbit spoke.

"Hey pal. Thanks."

Wakko turned to look at the rabbit. Buster at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

Catching his eye, Buster continued. "Look, we've had a crappy shoot-"

Wakko cocked one eyebrow up and almost grinned to himself; it was a mannerism he had picked up from Yakko. "That's my fault?"

"Look mime, it's always crappy when you have to work with her," Max muttered as Plucky rolled his eyes.

_Her who?_

Buster shot Max a nasty look. "I'm being big here, you mind? Anyway," he continued, looking back at Wakko, "We really did think you were gonna say something-"

"How would you know? You've never met me!"

_Calm down Wakko. Breathe. Seems like the jerk is trying._

"Fine. I hope that planting a wet one on Chrome Dome erased any doubts you morons had about me being a snitch. Now, I'm leaving. Go back to your stupid-"

"Easy inky," Buster broke in, putting his hands up in a calming motion. "I was going to say thanks – and that I think I might have been wrong about you." The boy held his hand out for a shake. "Wakko right? Show premiers in June in ToonTown?"

Wakko regarded him for a moment.

_It didn't seem like a joke or prank..._

Hoping he wasn't being too trusting, he sighed and grabbed the rabbit's hand back, expecting him to have a joy buzzer.

"Yeah, it's Wakko."

Buster nodded and then stood to the side of him, and gave a look to the other two. They exchanged glances, and finally, Max came forward, looking annoyed and awkward at the same time – it was actually a rather amazing feat.

Scratching the back of his neck with his left hand and his gaze going from the ground to Wakko's face and back, Max said, "Look, uh...what Buster said. I rarely ever say this, so listen closely…thanks mime." He sighed, then added, "Guess I was wrong about you too."

He too held out his hand, which Wakko shook, surprised at the strength in the boy's grip.

"Max is apologizing for something; sun must be getting ready to burn out," Buster muttered to Wakko.

Surprised, Wakko started snickering.

Max sent them a glare. "Piss off Bunny."

With an irritated sigh, Plucky came forward, looking almost as awkward as Max, though without his friend's annoyance mixed in.

Nudging Max out of the way, he stuck his hand out to shake as well. "If you two don't mind – he'd probably like to meet the real star of the show." He sent a furious look to the laughing Buster and Max.

"He's already said he's seen the show nimrod – star my ass," Max countered, coming to stand on Wakko's other side, giving him a smirk, then crossing his arms back over his chest to watch Plucky.

"Yeah – and before you introduce yourself, Mr. Hollywood," Buster smirked, "you should apologize too. We both did..."

"Oh OK, fine." The duck came forward and grabbed Wakko's hand anyway. "I think I pegged you wrong too. I'm sorry; especially since I listened to them - "

Max snorted, and said, "Yeah, thanks – stick it on us again." He muttered to himself 'stupid loser' and Wakko started laughing again.

_Maybe these guys weren't so bad..._

"There's the maturity Plucky's so famous for," Buster muttered.

"I repeat Max's statement – Piss off Bunny." Turning back to Wakko, Plucky added, "Look inksplot, it wasn't your fault, not really-

"What do you mean not really? I just came down the alley and tried to say hi!"

"We've had a bad shoot," Max said.

Wakko got the impression that having a bad day was to Max a perfectly acceptable excuse for acting like a total dink to a stranger.

"Elmyra's been getting on our nerves, the director's being an ass and the star over here didn't bother to learn his lines," Max continued, nodding toward a glaring Buster.

"They were changed-"

"Whatever blue ears," Plucky said. "Look inksplot, we just have to be careful. We have a reputation for…well…we tend to uh, well, we always seem to-"

"Be in some sort of trouble?" Buster finished for him.

"Something like that," Plucky shrugged. "We keep things interesting around here anyway. What can I say?"

"Hopefully not much – I don't feel like listening to you."

"Go to hell Max."

"Already there, working every day with you."

"Ignore them, they do this a lot," Buster said, turning to Wakko as the duck and human toons continued to hurl insults at each other. "So, uh, we were gonna get lunch; you want to come with?"

Wakko looked at him for a moment before breaking out into a grin. "Sure, I'm hungry-"

"From what I've read in the toon papers, press releases, and the studio news paper, not to mention my dad's notes, you're always hungry."

_Dad's notes?_

Max, who had been trying to choke Plucky, turned to look at them, hands still wrapped around the duck's throat. "You actually read that shit Buster?" He snorted. "Loser."

Buster shrugged, "Nice to know what going on – besides, if I didn't read them, who would tell you two morons what's happening?"

"True that," Plucky agreed, getting Max's hands off his throat by sticking a finger in his eye. "So shut it Max – I don't want to have to read that tripe."

Wakko started laughing at them followed closely by Buster.

"Let's go eat you goofs – we have to be back on set in another hour." He looked at

Wakko as they all began walking to the cafeteria. "You got plans this afternoon?"

Wakko shook his head. "No, nothing."

Yakko had another class with Bugs. He sort of remembered Dot saying she was going shopping or something with that Lisa - Hello Nurse girl...he was free. Sure, he could go to the tower and do his homework…

_Hell no._

"It's not a closed set, if you want to wander over – you can hang out with us. We've only got a few scenes to film for a commercial, then we're off the rest of the day." Buster shrugged. "We could play some ball, if you want."

_An invite?_

"Faboo!"

"Faboo? Hell, that's a new one," Max muttered.

"Ignore him Wak – he's an ass when he's hungry," Buster said.

"He's an ass all the time actually," Plucky chimed in.

"I'm gonna rip all the feathers off your ass and shove 'em down your throat!"

"Nice to know you're interested in the feathers on my ass."

"Miserable mallard."

"Ass bandit."

"Butt munch."

Buster looked at Wakko. "See what I have to deal with on a daily basis? I don't get paid enough really – I should ask for more money."

"They pay you more than you're worth now Grover, don't get greedy."

"Funny, you talking about greedy Plucky," Buster shot back. "Now would you ding-a-lings shut up?" He grinned at Wakko, throwing his arm around his shoulder. "You'll scare off our new friend."

Wakko grinned back at him. "Don't worry about that; I think I'm gonna fit in with you guys quite nicely."

As they walked to the cafeteria, Wakko listened to Buster as the boy began to fill him in about the lot and his new friends as Plucky and Max walked behind them, still throwing insults at each other.

"How old are you guys?" Wakko finally asked. "From the show, I thought you were closer to my brother's age."

"I'll be ten in November," Buster replied, scratching his ear. "Will you two shut up?" He asked, turning around to snap at Plucky and Max. "Nonstop with them. Anyway, Plucky's almost nine, Max is gonna be ten in August. Babs is gonna be ten in May, Elmyras' almost nine too. We're all younger then what the show says. Think I'm supposed to be fourteen or something; do I look like I'm fourteen?"

"Hurry up and look eighteen so you can buy lottery tickets and firecrackers," Plucky said.

"Shut up duck. Anyway, yeah, they'll do it with you too, when you start filming, change your age all around," Buster said. "Lots of shows hire younger toons, then have them portraying older characters."

"Why?"

"Because kids work cheaper," Buster said. "We'll take less money for the show, and our parents are thrilled because we have the opportunity to tutor with very expensive tutors and major stars; I'm with Bugs of course for toon theory and acting. Bugs significantly lowers his fees for toon kids on the lot. From what I've heard, he's got a few kids he's done that were not affiliated with the studio, and he's pretty expensive."

"Maybe for you morons. If I wanted the stupid rabbit I could afford him," Max shot in before telling Plucky he was the color of puke.

"But Bugs wouldn't take you Max. He only takes the 'crème de la crème'; you hardly qualify as pudding," Buster shot back over his shoulder. "Plucky's with Daffy-"

"So like on the show?" Wakko asked.

"Not all the time. Hampton only tutors part time with Porky. But his parents are tutors on the lot for some of the extras, so they handle a lot of his schooling."

"So much to say about that," Max muttered.

"Shut it you billionaire boob. But mostly, all of us were chosen because Spielberg liked our looks; we fit with his desire for new and unique toons."

Wakko nodded. "Same with the three of us."

"Yeah, so I've heard. Dad told me all about your audition."

Suddenly it clicked. Sometimes he wasn't too sharp.

"Mr. Bunny!" He exclaimed. Feeling stupid at Buster's look, he said, "Sorry; I just

put it together. I liked your dad, he's pretty cool. He took me and my sister on a tour while Spielberg talked to Yakko."

Buster shrugged. "Dad's pretty laid back. He's been a writer here for years. He's gonna be a head writer on your show."

_Sweet._

"Where do you guys live? Does your Mom work here too?" Wakko asked, trying to get as much information on his new friend as possible.

He heard Plucky and Max go silent and had a feeling he'd said something wrong.

"We live in ToonTown, Aardman District, on Bristol Street. And my Mom's dead, auto accident."

"Smooth move Mime," Max muttered. "Least we know tact isn't your strong suit."

"Sorry," Wakko muttered.

_Great, known them ten minutes and already made myself look like an idiot._

"It's OK; I barely remember her," Buster said.

_At least he didn't seem upset about the question._

"What about you? Your family that is."

Wakko paused at Buster's question. He had meant to ask Yakko about this. As they all made friends, more about their past would come out. Was he supposed to lie? If so, what should he say? Or was he supposed to be truthful? Yakko had never said either way; it had started to come up last night, but then they all had gotten distracted by something on TV and the subject had not come up again.

Having to make a decision quickly, he decided to hedge around the truth for now. An outright lie would be stupid; if his dad worked on their show, he would probably know about the guardian-whatever-the-hell-it's-called.

"Mom's dead; Dad's missing. My younger sister and I stay with our older brother."

And none of that was a lie, not even the part about Dad. He had no earthly idea where he was; hell, as it was he only had hazy memories of him. Hopefully none of them would ask any more questions for now. Maybe the duck and the human would start fighting again.

He gave a small sigh of relief when he saw that they were already close to the cafeteria while Plucky and Max started giving details about their own lives. Max was almost how he acted on the show; spoiled and sarcastic and lived in a huge mansion at the very edge of Wishing Star District. Apparently his home was near the border of Wishing Star and Aardman District.

His parents were out of town most the time, his father being a very influential stockbroker and banker, so he was mainly under the care of his butler. As he pointed out, since his butler was in the Max family employ, he basically had free run.

Plucky fell somewhere in-between Buster's laid back attitude and Max's more explosive temper. In-between the insults he continued to trade with Max, he told Wakko that he lived with his parents and a younger brother in ToonTown, also in Aardman, though closer to Lord Park, on the other end of the District.

Wakko had absolutely no idea where any of these places were, but he listened intently anyway. They were curious about his unusual living arrangements, and he attempted to answer what he could about the tower. Maybe he could invite them up sometime.

Getting into line, he began to laugh as they told him about some of the shenanigans they got into on their set with some of the other stars.

_Can't believe I thought these guys were jerks._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, you really try to make Plotz froth at the mouth every time you see him, or is the mime just exaggerating?"

_Mime? Does he realize that we both look alike?_

Yakko, mouth still full of food, looked up at the little loudmouthed human toon; Missouri or Montana or whatever the hell state he had been named after. He barely knew Buster and Plucky's names. To his left, Yakko head Dot muter something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like 'ass' and glared at the boy. To his right Wakko just started snickering.

On the other side of Wakko, Buster was in an eating contest with the duck. On the other side of the duck, a small pig was watching all this with wide-eyed interest, telling them that they should slow down so they could not only enjoy the food, but so they wouldn't choke.

Across from all that, several girls were giggling about some quiz in a magazine the pink bunny had. Every now and then one of them would look at one of the boys, including him and Wakko and let out a giggle before going back to the article. Dot had tried to talk to them, but wasn't exactly at the age where she cared if the boy next to her wanted to take her out for pizza or whatever the silly thing was about.

Yakko raised his eyebrows at Max, or mongoloid as the others seemed to be calling him.

Buster and Plucky seemed to determine that this question warranted an interruption in their contest, because they both shoved their sandwiches in their mouths and turned to watch, cheeks expanded. Even the group of girls turned to listen.

_Wakko's known them about an hour; what the hell had he been telling them?_

"I don't try," Yakko replied.

_Not really. It's just so damn easy to do._

"He was fine last time I-"

"Not what I heard," the gravely voiced rabbit jumped in, choking slightly on the leftover sandwich in his mouth and spraying crumbs halfway across the table, much to the girls disgust. "I heard when you were last in a meeting with him, Plotz was swearing like a banshee with Tourettes by the time you left."

Yakko grinned at the memory. Wasn't his fault Plotz didn't have a sense of humor.

Talking slightly louder to be heard over the other kids laughter, Yakko said, "Ehhhhhhh, let's just say Plotz ended up teaching me a few words that I was unaware could be used as nouns, adjectives, and verbs."

"Will you tell us?" Wakko asked.

"No."

Yakko snickered at the groans that came from the little group. Figures out of the three of them, Wakko would be the one to make friends first.

And what a group. Half the cast of 'Tiny Toon Adventures' was at the table, talking, laughing, joking, asking questions and grabbing food off of each other's plates.

At least they were relatively friendly, though much younger than he had originally thought. He had been surprised when he had gone to find Wakko after his own tutoring session, camera crew in tow. Getting to the office, he had been confronted by an extremely irritated rooster who had informed him that he had let Wakko out early, and that 'the boy, I say the boy had best do his assignment this time'.

Yakko had been annoyed and slightly worried. He had told both his siblings to do the homework; looks like he was going to have to do checks for awhile. But if he wasn't with Foghorn, that meant he was wandering around the lot somewhere. Chances were, he wasn't sitting somewhere doing his assignment.

After getting Dot, he had headed to the cafeteria, hoping that Wakko had gone there and was just waiting for them.

He had been shocked when they entered the cafeteria and seen Wakko sitting with half the cast of the show, all the boys and a few of the girls trying to balance spoons on their noses.

Heading toward Wakko, he had almost been knocked off his feet by a small red-headed human toon who had dashed across the cafeteria to throw her arms around him while exclaiming 'Ooooo-oooh; lookit da cute fuzzy-wuzzy cuddle head!'

Then he had to pull Dot off the little ditz; when the girl wouldn't let go and kept trying to squeeze the life out of him, Dot had threatened to shove the girl's tacky bow down her throat. Then she just shrugged and jumped on the spaz to carry out her threat.

Meanwhile, Wakko was babbling something about making friends and trying to introduce the entire motley crew to him and wanting to go watch filming before playing ball.

On top of all that, he could hear the director behind him, yelling at the camera man to make sure he got all this on tape; the new kids meeting these famous stars for lunch. Yakko didn't think a bunch of preteens eating lunch was the scoop of the century, but hey, he was a 'new kid'; what did he know?

He had then watched as a few of the boys, his brother included, all took huge bites of food, chewed, then displayed the food for the camera on their tongues. Dot had started gagging, and Yakko wondered if that would be on the special.

Then two of the boys stared fighting when the human toon told the duck to put his ass to the camera because that was his best side.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair as be took another bite of his pizza, thinking. He would let Wakko go watch the filming; it wasn't a closed set, guests were allowed to come as long as they were respectful of the fact that there was filming going on. Not to mention it might be educational for him. He was going to be doing it soon enough himself.

But his invite had thrown something else at Yakko that he just hadn't thought about before. Homework, friends, curfew…

He couldn't just make this stuff up off the top of his head, but his brother had asked him, and he couldn't say no. He had told Wakko to wait until after lunch and then ask him. He needed time to think.

"We've got about fifteen minutes to get back on set," Buster said, still shoving fries in his mouth. "You still want to come Wak?"

Yakko saw Wakko look at him out of the corner of his eye.

Well, can't really deny him the chance to make friends on the lot. He did want his siblings to have somewhat of a normal life. Up to this point, they really hadn't.

"Fine," Yakko finally sighed. "You can go. But we need to talk later. For now, be back at the base of the tower by five."

"OK! Thanks!" Wakko exclaimed.

He looked like he was about to reach out and hug him, then changed his mind. Yakko was surprised, and then shrugged to himself. Boys didn't typically like to hug; Wakko probably didn't want to look like a sissy in front of his new friends.

Yakko was perturbed to realize he was saddened about that but knew that he should have seen it coming. Wakko was getting older. Oh well, at least Dot would still hug him.

Feeling like a maudlin meathead, Yakko watched all the little toons say bye to him and Dot, still shoving food in their mouths and walk out the door, Wakko talking animatedly to Buster and Max. Plucky was talking to the pig, and the girls were all still whispering to each other, pointing to the boys and giggling.

Wakko gave a final wave and was out the door with the others, while the director, who was at a table next to them tried to follow him out, camera man trailing along behind him. They must not have caught them because he was back in the cafeteria five minutes later howling in fury about missed footage.

Yakko turned back to his pizza, intent on getting the rest of his lunch finished quickly. He still had to get some cash so Dot could buy some clothes while she was out. He should figure out what he was going to cook for dinner. He wanted to go over the homework he had been assigned. He had to make a note to talk to Wakko about doing his own assignments.

He hoped he'd made the right decision, letting him go off. He could potentially get hurt out there or lost maybe. Or he could be kidnapped, lots of crazies out there-

"I can't believe Wakko met all those people," Dot grumbled, interrupting his thoughts.

"He's gross and those boys were gross too."

Yakko looked at her. "But they're closer to his age." Shrugging, he continued eating, noticing that she had not touched most of her lunch. The last he'd checked, she liked pizza.

"And the girls weren't friendly. All they did was laugh over some stupid magazine. Except that one freak that wanted to keep hugging everyone."

"In a few years you'll want to laugh over the stupid magazine too."

"Doubt that. And he's going off with them."

"Good. If he's off with them, we can finish our lunch in peace."

_Heck he was really only here about fifteen minutes. Was sort of weird, only me and Dot eating…I'm not having to tell the sibs to stop annoying each other, or having to tell them to stop throwing fries at each other._

He had to correct that thought; last time they had thrown fries at each other and he told them to stop, they had started throwing them at him instead. Annoyed, he had thrown some back at them, a full fledged food fight had broken out in their kitchen. Which he of course had to clean up.

_But still, just…weird not having him there. Better get used to it._

"He didn't even say bye to me," she sniffed quietly.

_What?_

Yakko took a closer look at her, wondering what the problem was. He was surprised to notice that she looked like she was about to cry, tears welling up in her eyes.

_Was she jealous?_

"Look, Dot," he said in as comforting manner as possible while hoping she didn't open the waterworks up on him. "You'll meet some friends too; there has to be kids here on the lot your age-"

"I haven't seen any! And it's not that. He didn't even talk to me the whole time he was here. It's like he didn't even see me! And none of his new friends talked to me either! And he was going to play with me this afternoon. He always does after classes, but now-"

Well, she was jealous, just not in the way he had thought.

"OK Dot, just calm down. I don't think Wakko meant to ignore you; he's just excited. He's always liked their show, and now he's met them and he's getting the opportunity to hang out with them."

Yet another subject he had not given much thought to prior to today. They would all start making friends on the lot and begin to do other things, want to spend time with other people, develop their own interests apart from each other. They had always spent so much time in each other's company, he'd never given any consideration that Wakko going off would make Dot so upset.

His explanation didn't seem to be making her any happier though. He better come up with something better. At least trying to cheer her up was taking his mind off his own worries.

"Dot, he's not leaving forever; he'll be back this afternoon. Look at it this way; you're going shopping with Lisa, right?" Waiting for her nod, he continued. "You're not even going to be here, and I'll be in a class. Would it be fair to tell Wakko he had to spend the afternoon in the tower by himself while he waited for you?"

"No," she whispered.

"And here's some other food for thought. If he had nothing to do, he might want to come shopping with you and Lisa."

_Not likely, but always possible._

"Imagine Wakko running around a clothing shop with you while you try on clothing and buy under-"

She apparently did think about it, because her face changed from woebegone to alarmed.

"No, no," she said hurriedly. "It's good he went with those boys."

"Knew you'd see it my way."

At least he had managed to convince Spielberg and Plotz that when his sister went shopping, the cameras shouldn't tag along. Thankfully, that would be over shortly; tomorrow was supposed to be the last day of it. When they did the rehearsals and a few different dance classes there would be filming for that, but at least if wouldn't be all this 'candid' stuff. Yakko drew the line when the camera man followed him into the bathroom.

"He'd be running around the store with girls underwear on his head laughing," she muttered.

She was probably right. He'd no doubt think that was high comedy. But, at least his brother was easily entertained.

"Look, when I'm out of class and you're back, I'll play with you. I'm just as good as Wakko, right?"

"Better. You don't argue when I win."

_Of course not. I know better._

"See? But when Wakko gets back, I think all three of us need to sit down and talk though."

_And I better come up with a list of rules or something before any other surprises hit me in the face._

XXXXXXXXXX

"How about this one Dot?"

Dot, sitting on a plush velvet lined settee while looking in her shopping bag at her recently purchased soap and 'unmentionables' as Lisa called them, looked up. Lisa had been in a dressing room, trying on a gown in the ritzy store.

_She's really pretty, like a model_, Dot thought, looking at her. _Wonder why she became a nurse._

Lisa, or Hello Nurse as she was going to be called in a month or so when the show began actual filming, was standing in the doorway to the dressing room, wearing the long powder blue gown.

_And she said she needed one because she was going somewhere. She looks like a princess._

Smiling at her, Lisa turned to look at herself in one of the large gilded mirrors hanging in the parlor like setting of the dress store. "What do you think Dot? I need a second opinion."

Dot beamed.

_It was nice when your opinion was appreciated. _

"I like it Lisa; it goes with your eyes."

Lisa had said it was really important to always make sure that your outfit matched your skin tone. Or in Dot's case, fur color. Lisa had said Dot was lucky enough to be able to wear a variety of different color tones and look good.

Except orange. Lisa said no one looked good in orange.

"It does, doesn't it? Sort of expensive though," the blonde added, frowning at the price tag dangling from the bodice.

"Aren't you the one who told me to remember that we're girls and we're always worth whatever the price tag said?"

Dot remembered her saying that. She had remembered everything the curvy nurse had said to her; hung on her every word actually. Lisa was pretty, fun, had a good sense of humor and was really smart; everything she hoped she would one day be.

Lisa giggled. "So I did." Sighing, she said, "OK, with your opinion in mind, I'll buy it. I've got a handsome man as my date anyway; I have to make sure I look good."

Curious, Dot asked, "Who is it?" Wrinkling her nose, she added, "It's not the doctor is it?"

Wakko said he was wrinkled like a prune and his head was bald like an egg. For once, she had to agree with her brother. Dr. Scratchansniff wasn't a very attractive man. He wasn't very interesting either.

"No!" Lisa exclaimed, looking horrified and causing several haughty looking ladies to look over at them. Embarrassed, she said in a much calmer manner, "No Dot. The doctor and I work together only. My date is Gaston Avenant."

"Oh, that's much better," Dot said.

"Very much so. He's not a very interesting conversationalist, but with him at least the scenery's nice to look at."

_What's that mean?_

"Anyway Dot, let me take this off and pay for it. I'll be right back."

With that, Lisa sashayed back into the dressing room while Dot pulled out her soap set that Lisa had helped her pick out. 'Essence of Rose' - Lisa said a girl always had to smell nice too.

_Girls have to do a lot of extra work,_ she thought to herself. _Boys have it a lot easier._

Finally the nurse reappeared, dressed again in her jeans and pink halter top. Sighing, she began to dig in her purse, draping the evening gown over a nearby rack holding other dresses.

"Where are you going Lisa? It's gotta be really fancy."

"There's a black tie function coming up."

"What's a black tie function?"

Lisa looked at her, surprised. "You don't know what…oh, right. You wouldn't know. Well Dot, they're dances, or functions in this case. You go, meet other toons, socialize, have fun. Don't worry, you'll be going to some soon enough I'm sure."

_Socialize? Meet others toons?_

"When? Do they have any for kids? What do they-"

The nurse laughed before cutting her off.

"They have lots of them for children. Toons don't have schools like the humans; how else are you going to meet other kids? Besides, with us working for the studio, these functions give us the chance to meet some of the other toons working at the different studios, and it's very good publicity. And they're lots of fun."

"When's the next one? Will there be other girls there my age?"

Lisa frowned. "I'm not sure when the next one for kids is. This one is adults only and hosted for the Disney Animation Department - some sort of gala celebration. I didn't even ask what for, but it doesn't matter. Disney always has good food, and Gaston is paying for my ticket. When we get back to the studio, I'll check and let you know. And there're kids of all ages there."

"Great - thanks! They sound like fun!"

Dot smiled. She could probably meet some girls her age there.

She had told Lisa about Wakko abandoning her during lunch. He was annoying, but he was her usual lunchtime companion along with Yakko, and his snubbing her for the few minutes he had been there stung.

Lisa had told her she couldn't even think of any girls close to her age on the lot at the moment; almost the entire cast of 'Tiny Toons' was Wakko's age. Lisa also told her there weren't many toons Yakko's age on the lot either. Dot had tried talking to Mindy a few times when the girl had been on the lot, but she was sort of spacey. She definitely had a one track mind; she was only interested in her dog and chasing after butterflies.

Dot couldn't wait to tell Yakko about the toon functions. He'd probably like to go.

"Whenever the next one is, we'll come back out shopping for a dress for you, OK?"

"OK. Are all of them fancy and you have to wear something like that?" she asked, pointing to the gown.

"Oh no," Lisa replied as she stepped toward the cash register, where a very snotty looking human toon began ringing her up. "Some are casual enough you can wear what you have on now; those are usually during the afternoon."

"Most of the ones in the evening are a little more formal. The boys are in suits, the girls are in nice dresses. I was going to take you to a store I know some of the younger girls love; Limited Too. We can look at the dresses they have there while we shop. And I know a great tea shop near there. We can stop there and get a snack. Sound good?"

Dot nodded. Having tea always sounded so elegant. Maybe she could finally get to taste a crumpet too.

"I think you'll really like that store, and there's a GAP near there too. I know a lot of the girls go there."

The cashier handed her the bag, and Lisa began to lead Dot out of the store and down the sidewalk to her convertible, still listing off brands and stores.

"There's an American Eagle, and a Esprit store, and Guess and-"

As Dot listened to her still rattling off stores and places to go, she was happy she was going shopping with someone so knowledgeable, but hoped that Yakko had given her enough money.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko stood on the railing at the top of the tower and scanned the lot. It was amazing what you could see from so far up. Their living arrangements may be a bit peculiar, but he had to admit they had one hell of a view. Irritated, he leaned on the railing, gazing in the direction of the parking lot.

Nothing still.

He looked at his watch and frowned. He knew he had told Wakko five. He had thought he had said it pretty clearly…'Be at the base of the tower by five'.

That being said, it didn't explain why it was now almost five-thirty and there was no sign of his brother. He knew he shouldn't have let him go off; he was too young, this was his first time away from him. Or something could have happened.

_Christ, maybe he was lost. Maybe he got hurt, he was kidnapped, that could happen even on the lot. Maybe-_

_Maybe he was running across the lot right now toward the tower._

Yakko breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Wakko zipping across the lot, hopping over carts and dashing around people and props in his hurry to get home.

Well. So much for his horrid visions; he worried too much sometimes.

Yakko started climbing down the ladder to greet his tardy brother. Curfew violations were definitely getting added to his mental list of rules he had been going over all day. He hadn't even thought about that.

Reaching the bottom in record time, he stood by the ladder and watched, smirking, as Wakko came running up, out of breath and clutching his side.

"Hiya sib," Yakko greeted him. "Have fun?"

"Yeah – fun - played ball – time – fun! Plucky - Max in nose – foot - film set! Tomorrow! Lunch!"

_I suppose that means something._

"That does sound entertaining, whatever it was. By the way, you know what time it is?"

"How should I know?" Wakko countered, still huffing. "I don't have a watch."

Actually, he had a point. That was going to change.

"OK, I'll buy that. This time. And it's now five-thirty. Consider this your one get out of jail free card."

Yakko Fritzed a parachute for Wakko as he began to climb the ladder. Wakko rolled his eyes before putting it on. Yakko wanted to roll his eyes too; it was exhausting Fritzing those things four or more times a day. He couldn't wait until both his siblings were old enough and skilled enough to be able to safely climb the ladder.

Reaching the top, Wakko quickly took the chute off and opened the door, Yakko right behind him. He ignored the chute; it would disappear in a while.

Once inside, Yakko watched as Wakko headed straight to the kitchen. Yakko shrugged; he could let him eat first, then go over his new list of rules and procedures for the Warners. The whole thing should go over like a lead balloon, meaning it would likely be highly entertaining for him.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Why am I not surprised? Late because I don't have a watch, so Yakko breaks out a rule book._

Well, that wasn't fair. He was late because he didn't have a watch true, but he had known pretty much what time it was. When he'd asked Buster, the bunny had told him it was four-thirty. If he had any sense he would have headed back then...but he didn't.

Besides, he was doing something educational. After Max left the lot for the day, he had been talking to Plucky and Buster. Plucky had offered to teach him how to bug his eyes out, and he couldn't turn that down. Who knew when something like that would come in handy?

Plucky, while showing him what was required to do the feat, had asked what skills, if any, Wakko had. After telling him about playing the harmonica, the duck had been unimpressed and said never mind.

Annoyed, Wakko had pulled out a pack of cards and showed him a few tricks. That seemed to endear him to the duck, who, true to his nature, suggested a trade off. He'd show Wakko what he knew; Wakko would reciprocate with the card tricks. Wakko had agreed instantly.

Buster had overheard and also asked to be taught a few moves, mostly to do with cheating at poker. They had then both confessed to wanting to actually be able to beat Monty, who they knew cheated himself. Buster said he had a few things he could show him too, and proceeded to begin to teach him how to pull his ears out several feet. Another handy trick that Wakko could add to his repertoire.

It was an interesting afternoon if nothing else. Buster had introduced him to the rest of the cast that had happened to be on the lot at the time. He got to play some basketball with a bunch of the boys. The best thing was, they wanted to meet with him again tomorrow too. This time they wanted to play baseball, and a few of the girls were going to play as well.

_Hopefully Yakko's list of rules wouldn't go on too long._

Wondering how many doctrines Yakko had dreamed up, Wakko fidgeted on the couch, waiting for him to start. Beside him, Dot sat primly, hands folded in her lap and looking like her angelic self. Every now and then she would shoot him a cold look before looking back at Yakko.

Wakko stared at her and wondered what he did wrong now.

"Alright siblings, shall we start?"

"If we have to," muttered Wakko.

"Hush small fry. Now then, seeing as how we are all going to be having more opportunities to run around, go off lot, do other activities, meet people-"

"Ignore your family," Dot muttered.

_What did that mean?_

"Not to mention having other responsibilities to worry about," Yakko continued, obviously not hearing or more likely, ignoring what she said. "I thought it would be prudent to make a list of rules and requirements now, so we can all be on the same page...and I won't hear any grumbling about not knowing what's expected," Yakko finished.

Wakko caught the look thrown at him.

_I did something...wonder what it was._

"Go ahead Yakko, we want to hear them," Dot piped in.

_We do?_

"Thank you sister sibling. Wakko?"

"Uh, yeah, right. Go right ahead."

"Wonderful," Yakko beamed.

_This should be good. I have a feeling homework and getting back to the tower on time is going to be mixed in here._

"OK. First the one should be obvious. Number one; don't leave the lot without my permission and a chaperone. Neither of you want to see how unhappy I'm going to be if you even think of trying to skirt around this one. TIS is still around out there, and they could still try to grab us. Not to mention ticking of the studio."

_Fair enough._

"Second; no swearing," Yakko said. "The three of us are intelligent enough to formulate our thoughts without resorting to that sort of language."

_That's too bad. Max was a prolific swearer and was more than willing to share his unusual word choices. Whether anyone wanted to hear them or not._

"Three-"

"Don't feed them after midnight," Dot said.

Wakko choked back a laugh.

"Yes Dot, very good. Don't forget to not expose them to sunlight unless you want to clean up gooey piles of flesh. And while you're at it, add this in; don't harass anyone. Unless they harass you first of course. Then it's open season."

Wakko beamed at that, even sharing a smile with Dot.

"Ok, four."

_Great, he's looking at me again._

"Homework and line memorizing comes before hanging out with friends on the lot. If your homework's not done, your friends can be patient and wait."

_Hmmmm, got to object to that one._

"Uh, Yakko, can I say something?"

"Sure, I'm in the mood to be magnanimous."

_Why does he always have to use the big words he knows I never understand?_

"Um...right. Anyway, this homework bit – what if my friends are only on the lot a certain amount of time? I was going to go see them tomorrow too, but they're only around here at certain times. Can't I do the homework after I see them?"

Yakko appeared to be thinking. Wakko crossed his fingers. As their classes went further on, he knew they'd have more work piled on them. Then with reading and memorizing lines too...

"OK, we'll try it this way for now. It can tie in to rule number five-"

_Another one?_

"Curfew is seven P.M. sharp; for you anyway."

"What about me?" Dot asked.

"I'm not letting a five year old run around the lot by herself."

_Ho boy, she's gonna love that-_

"Why not? He gets to!" Dot exclaimed, pointing to Wakko.

"I'm not five," he replied.

"You act like it!"

"Snot."

"Moron."

Wakko was about to reply when he heard 'Quiet' shouted in his ear. Dot must have had it ringing in her ears as well because she jumped and yelped at the same time he did. They both turned to see Yakko standing there with a bull horn in his hand.

_Wonderful, he's now discovered how to Fritz those. The whole lot will be able to hear him talking now._

"Time out," Yakko said, putting the bull horn back in his hammerspace and looking at Dot. "Wakko, despite acting less than half his age at times, is older and thus has a better chance of protecting himself in the event of an emergency. He's got more training and his mallet, so he can stay out later. You're still five – you don't."

Wakko, despite the quip about his less than mature behavior, shot a grin at the fuming Dot.

"That being said ancient one-"

_Here it comes._

"You've got more to worry about, so settle back. You want to hang out with your little friends, that's fine; I'm a flexible toon-"

_We know, you keep reminding us. Boy, he finally learns how to Chuck his body so he can survive a relatively long fall and all he does is brag about it._

"-so, I propose we try this."

_Oh. He wasn't bragging._

"You can eat then stay out till seven. And that means seven – you walk in at seven-oh-one you're busted. Then you get your line memorizing and homework done. That means you might have to look at lines during the day during free time between classes and shoots. If it ends up becoming a problem and you don't get the lines memorized or your homework done, we switch it back around. Deal?"

_I can live with that. Might be tight for awhile though._

"Deal! Thanks!"

"Good. Now, number six. No bringing any friends up to the tower unless I know who they are and know they're coming. Last thing I need to deal with is a kid falling off the tower because they don't know how to Chuck."

"Seven; If TP is mad at you, please don't aggravate him any further with any quips or jokes - just slowly walk away."

"Something you need to keep in mind too big brother," Dot said.

"I don't intentionally try to annoy him you know."

Yakko must have seen the looks that were thrown at him, because he continued talking, unsuccessfully trying to hide a smirk.

"OK, fine. It's an instant mood booster for me. Anyway, just keep it in mind. Technically, he's our boss."

"Are you going to stop annoying him?" Wakko asked.

He was curious - Yakko had a rare talent for angering the little CEO. And Yakko knew it; hell, Yakko enjoyed it.

Yakko sighed. "Honestly? No. So let's scratch that rule and come up with something different." At their groans, he said, "It's not that big a surprise as far as this goes; you two know it anyway. Don't lie, especially to me. Whatever either of you did, you'll be a lot better off if you just tell me instead of lying to me about it. Besides, who else is going to cover for you? Anyway, on to eight."

_More? Did he do anything else this afternoon?_

"No disrupting the shooting of any of our co-stars shorts when they start. If they can respect our filming, we can respect theirs. That goes for any other movies or shows being filmed. If it's an open set, that's fine; just keep in mind they're working too. And if we start disrupting, we might get banned from watching. Not that it would stop us of course, but still, it could become a hassle."

_Another fair one._

"Nine. One that should go unsaid, but since sometimes if it's unsaid we get into that whole 'I didn't know you didn't tell me' situation, I'm saying it now even though you're both too young to really get into it. Drugs. Drinking. Smoking. Don't even think about it."

_Yakko's not much into experimentation it seems._

"And finally, ten. Bedtimes. Oh stop groaning you two; I put a lot of work into thinking of all this stuff."

"Couldn't tell," Dot muttered.

Wakko nodded. But, if nothing else Yakko had been thorough.

"It's not like we're going to be able to sleep as late as we want anymore," Yakko said. "Shooting and rehearsals are going to be starting in a few weeks; we might as well get used to it now. But I'm willing to hear what you two think," Yakko added, crossing his arms and smirking.

_Well, that's unusual._

Remembering that Yakko had cut him some slack on the whole homework and line memorizing thing, he took it back. Yakko was trying.

"Midnight?" Dot asked.

"Ehhhhhhh, try again Cinderella; you're pumpkin comes in much earlier."

"Eleven?"

Yakko didn't answer.

Dot tried again. "Ten?"

Yakko still didn't answer.

"Nine?"

"How about eight?"

"Eight? That's too early!"

"Yeah Yakko!" Wakko added in. "I won't have time to do anything! Neither of us will!"

"Come on Yakko," Dot chimed in. "Work with us…we're working with you…"

_Ugh she's good. That look alone should melt Yakko; he's always been a sucker for that face. Thankfully she's on my side on this one._

Wakko watched as Yakko seemed to ponder all this.

"Fine. Dot how about eight-thirty and Wakko nine-thirty?"

_Wasn't much of a victory, but it was something._

"Oh come on, you can't bend on a half hour?" Dot asked, batting her eyes at him.

"Fine. Eight."

"What!"

"I bent on the half hour. I just bent backwards."

"Fine, fine. Eight-thirty," she muttered.

"I'll take the nine-thirty," Wakko added quickly.

_Never let it be said I can't learn from someone else's mistakes._

"Lovely. We're all in agreement-"

"If you want to believe that," Dot muttered quietly.

"-or at least not arguing Dot. Any questions?" Yakko asked, cutting his eyes toward her before focusing on both of them again.

"No, no we got it. Jeeze, Yakko's Ten Sibling Commandments," Wakko muttered, gratified to hear Dot giggle. Whatever he had done to make her mad must have paled in comparison to hearing that he could stay up and out later than her.

"Commandments...what an interesting comment Wakko," Yakko said, looking at him.

_Crap. Why did he have to have such good hearing?_

"Here's another one – thou shalt not mutter smart mouthed comments in the presence of thine older brother who can ban thee from the television for life before getting thine past due and current homework assignments completed."

_Double crap. He talked to Foghorn. So much for hoping Yakko didn't hear about it._

_Why's he talking so funny?_

"Getting to it now," he said.

XXXXXXXXXX

March 29, 1993

Yakko jumped as the alarm clock went off for the second time. Unlike the first time when he had hit the snooze button and drifted back to sleep, this time he rammed his head into the bottom of the bunk on top of him.

As the alarm continued to beep he curled in the fetal position on the bed holding his head, waiting for the room to stop spinning and biting back several filthy words. If he ever saw the set designer who had 'suggested' they get bunk beds again, he was going to mallet him. Then, Yakko planned on making him sleep in the bottom bunk; let him hit his head on the top bunk for awhile.

Above him, he heard Wakko muttering about turning off the damn fry machine.

To groggy to even think of correcting Wakko's language or what machine he thought he was turning off, Yakko crawled out of bed and turned the alarm off with slightly more force than necessary, knocking it off the nightstand and onto the floor. Thankfully the floor was carpeted.

Hoping he hadn't broken it, he grabbed his pants, wondering why rehearsals had to be so early in the morning. He glared at the clock; six-ten in the morning. They had to be at the stage at seven - halfway across the lot. If he got going right now, he should be able to get some sort of breakfast thrown together. He should have time; maybe they could just eat the waffles frozen. Hot waffles were overrated.

Or cereal. You didn't have to do anything for cereal.

Not to mention, he wanted to look over the script again before they actually showed up. He had already noticed with some dread that he had the most lines. And he had to sing. Dot and Wakko only had to sing a few lines here and there. The bulk of the songs were riding on his narrow shoulders.

"Up Wakko," he muttered. "We've got to get going."

Wakko answered with a grunting sound that could have been acknowledgement. Or it could have been a 'go to hell' grunt; it was hard to say. Not caring either way, Yakko reached up to the top bunk to shake him twice.

Satisfied to see his brother's gloved hand come out from under the blue blanket and bat at him, Yakko staggered out of the room toward Dot's door, happy he had thought to get some small night-lights on their last shopping excursion, this time with Dr. Scratchansniff.

One of his only complaints about the tower; no windows. Unless lights were on or the main door was open, it was always pitch black in there.

Knocking twice, Yakko opened the door and peered in. Dot was curled in the middle of the bed, sound asleep in the pink and white checked bed clothing.

Yakko half smirked in the dim light; she still had Cupcake, though the dull pink bear was lying on the floor, having been thrown there at some point during the night. One of these days he was going to have to tell her how she got that thing.

Yakko silently walked across the small room, hoping that Dot would get up with less hassle than Wakko. While he had given both of them later bedtimes than probably necessary for them, Dot usually fell asleep way before eight-thirty.

Wakko seemed to think it was a matter of honor to stay up as late as possible and would struggle to stay awake until nine-thirty. He rarely made it; if he managed to make it to nine-fifteen, Yakko usually ended up carrying him to their bedroom.

Calling her name, he gently shook her, and was relieved to hear her moaning 'I'm up'. From out in the hallway he heard a thump sound and a muttered 'ow', meaning that Wakko had finally stumbled out of bed.

First day of rehearsal was going well; they were all up. Not awake, but up.

Wanting to make sure that Dot stayed up, he flicked the lights on in her room and snickered when he heard her groan and burrow deeper into the blankets.

"Come on Dot. First day remember?"

No response.

"Dot? Come on Dot, need to get up."

Still no response.

"Oh Dottie," he singsonged. "Gotta get up-"

He was cut off by a pillow in the face. The 'Dottie' thing got her moving.

"It's Dot Yakko! You know that!"

_She's just not a morning person. _

But she was sitting up and giving him a sleepy-eyed glare. Hopefully she was irritated enough that she would get up and get dressed.

Still trying to wake up himself, he walked toward their kitchen, looking around the tower as he did so. Wakko had apparently turned on every light he passed on his way there.

The studio had hired people who knew their stuff when it came to making the tower livable. Walls had been installed toward the back section of their round home to make the bedrooms. He had been curious at first when he noticed there were only two bedrooms and there were three of them, but then figured that if they had tried to put three bedrooms in that area, they would have been so small they wouldn't have been able to get a bed in there, let alone anything else.

Probably why that nut had made the suggestion of the bunk bed; it freed up more space. Didn't make him like it any more though.

To the far right was another wall where their kitchen had been placed. To the left was the bathroom. The rest of the tower was open space that made up their living room, all carpeted in dark blue. At least that was roomy.

The tower was feeling more and more like home. He still disliked the yellow couch; it clashed with the rest of the interior, but it was comfortable.

When they had first moved in, there was an overpowering stench of lemon, no doubt of whatever cleaner was used by the poor saps that had to scrub the place out prior to their move in date. It had taken two weeks for the smell to dissipate.

At least they didn't have to do much with the actual moving. A crane not being used somewhere else on the lot was brought over to haul the furniture up to the tower. A few stage hands had climbed the ladder to help lump the furniture around, all while still being filmed.

Yakko couldn't wait to see how all this looked on the documentary. A little over a month away until the first of the two parts premiered.

Walking into the kitchen and pulling the script out of his hammerspace, he saw Wakko already pouring cereal into a bowl. He had even pulled bowls out for the others. Wakko said something about 'morning' and 'headache' before be began to lethargically spoon cereal into his mouth.

Every now and then Wakko could surprise him. And it solved the problem of whether he felt like cooking waffles or not. Except that Wakko had grabbed that nasty fruit cereal with the Flintstones on it at the store. Yakko made a gag face to himself. Both his younger siblings loved it; he thought it looked like something a cat sicked up. He'd have a muffin instead.

Dot finally staggered out, bow crooked in her ears and a scowl on her face, and Yakko quickly put the script in front of his face. She had the look that would make braver toons than him run for cover. He was wise enough to not say much to her until she'd eaten. He didn't feel like having to take a shower because his sister dumped a bowl of cereal on his head.

He looked at the script, snickering at his name in the title. It was sort of a goofy story; he was the king of a country that was known for anvils and not much else.

When they had been given this script, they had all been told it was one of the six scripts chosen to be filmed first. While it may not air nationally as one of the first six episodes, it would be one of the first six shown in ToonTown.

Upon getting the script, the first thing he had done was bring it to Bugs. Surprisingly, Bugs had already had a copy, telling him he had to know what was in the scripts of all his students. How was he supposed to make sure Yakko was ready for a shoot if he didn't know what he was going to be shooting?

Bugs had also told him that Foghorn and Porky already had copies too, and he could rest easy; both tutors were already working with his younger siblings to make sure they knew how to do what was needed before the shoot. But, this was only a rehearsal and test; there was still time to work with all of them to make sure they knew how to stretch themselves around, jump, fall, and everything that would be required. The harder things, such as toonspeed, would be given to a special effects department until they were older and could handle doing it themselves.

Yakko glanced over his lines again as he took a bite of the muffin, grimacing at the taste – Banana.

Morning was off to a rousing start. Dot was cranky, Wakko was practically falling asleep in his cereal, and he apparently couldn't get anything tasty to eat this morning.

With a shrug he turned back to his lines. He had been studying them for the week and a half he had the script, as had his two siblings. Every night they had spent an hour prior to watching television or doing homework going over the lines. None of them wanted to look stupid at their first day of rehearsal.

Yakko wondered how much, if anything would be changed in the script. He had been told at a writer's meeting he had been invited to attend that the scripts were subject to change.

He looked at his watch several minutes later. It was already six thirty. Wakko and Dot were both done with their cereal. He had about three bites of the muffin, but with the way his stomach was churning, he decided that finishing it might not be wise.

They both looked at him, expressions of anticipation and fear blending together on their faces. He was positive that his own face mirrored theirs.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown? And why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne?"

_Wait for the chorus to finish…_

"The bottom of the family tree starts with Yakko that is me"

_Hold for four counts; Wakko and Dot are in position with their board and markers._

The following lines were tricky. That's OK, he was good at tongue twisters…

"I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle's daughter's father of the nephew's sister's mother-

"Cut! Good, but slow it down a smidge; no one's going to understand it if you go that fast, and the other two aren't writing that fast either," the director said.

Yakko inhaled and nodded as a stagehand came over to clean the board Wakko and Dot had been writing on. The director, a tall lanky human lounging in his chair looked at his watch.

"OK people, let's break for lunch. Be back in two hours."

_Wow. Nice long lunch._

"Finally," Wakko muttered. "I'm starving."

"What else is new," Dot said.

"Come on guys," Yakko said, hoping to cut off any potential arguments. "Let's go grab food. I definitely need a drink."

"I bet," Dot said. "You've done nothing but talk and sing. But you sounded good," she added.

"Yeah Yakko, faboo," Wakko chimed in.

"Thank you. And you guys were fantastic too. I just need to get the correct timing for the song down now. But really, you guys did good - I'm really proud of you."

And he meant that. For their first rehearsal, it was going pretty well. They had all learned their lines well, the director, Stan, seemed pleased. There was a camera there, still shooting for the documentary. The only glitch was the woman playing the Prime Minister in this short was not available to come in; something about a family emergency. A stagehand had read her lines as they went through the short.

At first he had been nervous, and Dot said knowing the camera was there and that it would not only be filming mistakes, but may show them on the special was messing with her head. After telling her she was doing fine, and any mistakes she made - which weren't many - would simply endear her to the audience because they could relate to her more, she had perked right up. After that pep talk, even he had been able to ignore the camera too, and had breezed through his lines.

Wakko hadn't seemed perturbed by the camera or any of the crowd around them. Then again, he had seemed asleep half the morning; maybe he hadn't noticed.

When they went to film in a week, it should be a snap.

A couple of writers were there, Mr. Bunny and a human whose name he didn't catch. They were watching, taking notes and making suggestions. Spielberg had stopped by early to watch for awhile and to speak with them for a few moments, mostly to see how they were all doing.

Everyone was wandering out though. Yakko looked down at his watch; twelve thirty. No wonder everyone was hungry.

"Can I talk to you for a second Yakko?"

Yakko, who had been guiding Wakko and Dot out of the studio, turned to look. Mr. Bunny was waving at him from across the soundstage.

"Sure. Wait for me guys," he said to his curious siblings before wandering over to Mr. Bunny. He hoped he wouldn't take long, he was hungry.

"Hi Yakko. How are you feeling about all this?"

Yakko looked at the tall rabbit. He, unlike Wakko, had put together fairly quickly that the laid back writer was Buster's father. Yakko liked the writer. Like another bunny he was frequently around, the writer was witty, knowledgeable, fun to be around and able to put those around him at ease.

Must be a rabbit thing.

It explained Buster's fairly relaxed attitude. Ever since Wakko met the bunny and the other two goofs, they rarely left each other's side when they were on the lot.

He had heard the boys were prone to find trouble, which no doubt explained why Wakko had managed to endear himself to them so quickly. Rumor had it that Plotz had run down the hallway foaming at the mouth when the three biggest troublemakers on one set had teamed up with one of the Warners.

They seemed like OK kids though; a bit on the smart-assed side. Which explained why he liked them so much. The others weren't dumb by any means, but the rabbit was definitely the smartest of them. Yakko rather liked him.

"Pretty good actually. It seems to be going well. The director hasn't run off screaming yet, which is always a positive sign."

Mr. Bunny snorted. "True. Stan's pretty easy to get along with though. You'll run into some that will make you want to run off screaming though; be prepared for that. Anyway," he said, clapping his hands together. "thought I'd let you know that I am now officially a chaperone too. I'm the eighth and probably the last one you guys will get for awhile."

Yakko actually felt a bit of relief about that. Having another person to turn to if they needed to leave the lot was helpful. Bugs and the others had been great, but it would be nice to just have a regular toon that wouldn't attract as much attention and Yakko at times felt guilty if they needed to leave and had to bother anyone.

Besides, he was the father of Wakko's friend; if Wakko ever wanted to go see Buster, he shouldn't have any problems finding a chaperone to leave the lot with.

"Any of you guys need to get off the lot, just let me know. I'll be happy to take you. Since a writer or two does go to shoots and rehearsals, I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of me. That being said, Buster wanted me to ask you a question."

Yakko raised one eyebrow; what could the smaller Bunny want with him?

"He wants to have Wakko come over for the weekend." The rabbit crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, saying, "He plans on having the rest of his little group over anyway, so I was recruited to extend the invitation to Wakko."

"You don't sound very excited about that."

"Trust me, when you have to deal with three or four rowdy boys on your weekend off you won't sound very excited about it either."

Yakko couldn't argue with that.

"What do you say? I'd take him with me when I leave Friday, bring him back over sometime Sunday afternoon. You want to hand your brother over for the weekend?"

_What an interesting question._

Yakko frowned. First sleepover. And not just one night, it would be two nights. And it would ruin his plans.

To celebrate their first week of rehearsal, he had planned on taking them out to eat, probably at one of the local malls. He had already spoken to several of their chaperones, including Bugs, Slappy and Porky, all of whom said they were free and would certainly take them wherever they wanted to go. Especially if it was to celebrate their first successful week of shooting.

Yakko looked over at his two siblings. Wakko was currently entertaining Dot by making his eyes bug out of his head several inches and yanking his ears all over the place. Yakko had to wonder where he learned to do those two tricks. Bugs hadn't even taught him that yet.

Pursing his lips, well aware that Mr. Bunny was waiting for an answer, he continued to think. It really wasn't that important, him wanting to celebrate with his siblings. He could do that later. He really didn't want to deny Wakko a chance to stay with his friends.

Dot would be upset of course. The more Wakko stayed with his friends, the more neglected she felt. He knew this wouldn't sit well with her.

He could let Wakko go with his friends, and he could take Dot out, sort of a brother-sister outing. That could be fun; the past couple of weeks he had either been too caught up in his studying, making sure his siblings did their studying, or going over his lines. He could take her out shopping or something, spend some time with her. There were worse ways to spend a weekend. He needed a break too.

"If you're worried about TIS Yakko, I did say I was now a chaperone. He won't leave the property without me."

Yakko jumped slightly, surprised. He had almost forgotten the reason he was thinking about all this to begin with. As long as Wakko stayed out of trouble and got all his work done, there shouldn't be any issues. Which means he would probably have to sit down and have a talk with his brother before he left.

"No, no, sorry, it wasn't that." Yakko shrugged. "If he wants to go, I don't see any problem. Let's go ask him, though I can already tell you the answer is probably yes."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," the rabbit replied. Uncrossing is arms, he added, "Let's go ask him then so I can tell Buster. He's been bugging me ever since Plotz asked me if I wanted the duties."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Let's go Wakko, they're waiting. Remember what I said; try to behave and-"

"I know, I remember. Don't do anything you wouldn't do. And if I do…make sure I do it better. Bye Dot!"

Dot watched as Wakko, arms filled with his blanket, pillow and a backpack she assumed held his clothing started laughing at Yakko's expression and raced out of the tower. Yakko, looking more amused than annoyed, chased after him yelling about waiting for him and he needed to put his parachute on before he ended up as a slice of lot pizza.

_This is so unfair!_

She hated to admit it, but she was jealous. Not only was Wakko the one who was lucky enough to be in just the right age group to make friends with some of the only available toon kids on the lot, he was getting to leave. And not only for a few hours; for a few days.

Sulking, Dot slowly trudged out to the landing of the tower and watched as Yakko Fritzed a parachute for Wakko. Looking annoyed, Wakko finally took it when Yakko wouldn't let him down the ladder without wearing it.

Standing on the landing, she watched as Wakko tossed his bedding off the tower much to Yakko's delight. He then descended the ladder in record time, Yakko trying to keep up.

Shedding the parachute as soon as one foot touched the pavement, Wakko waved to Buster and his father standing on the other side of the administration building. The smaller blue rabbit waved back and ran across the lot toward her dopey brother as he began to pick up his bedding. Yakko and the older rabbit calmly walked toward each other, speaking momentarily before Mr. Bunny waved at her.

Sighing, she waved back. She supposed it wasn't his fault all he had was a boy.

Mr. Bunny led the two younger boys off, shaking Yakko's hand before he did so, and Dot sadly leaned on the railing watching. She raised her hand at Wakko and Buster as they waved to her.

Her brother was annoying, but she was going to miss him. She knew he was only going to be gone a few days; not even full days. He would be back Sunday afternoon. That was one of Yakko's stipulations; he wanted Wakko to have enough time to do his homework and re-read his lines when he came back.

Wakko was her playmate though, even though he hadn't been playing with her quite as much. He played with those boys most of the time. When he was home, they were always studying or reading over the lines.

As Yakko made his way up the tower ladder, she sighed. It was going to be one boring weekend. Yakko had been worrying about these rehearsals and their upcoming shoot so much he hadn't really had time to do anything with her either unless it was studying or rehearsing.

Yakko, finally reaching the landing, came over to her.

"You OK Dot? You look sort of down."

"I'm OK," she said, trying to still her tail. Yakko had told her that he could tell when she was upset or lying because the tip of her tail would twitch.

_Just bored and not looking forward to a weekend of studying and rehearsing and playing by myself._

"Yeah, try again without lying."

_Didn't stop it soon enough._

"Come on Dot, it's about Wakko going out? He'll be back in a few days."

"I know, it's just unfair; he gets to go out and do things, and I'm stuck here."

"Oh. Don't like being stuck with me?"

_Oh shoot-_

"No! Sorry Yakko, I didn't mean-"

Yakko waved his hand at her. "Don't worry about it sibling. Besides, with Wakko gone it's just the two of us. And I doubt he would want to do what I have planned anyway."

_I can only imagine._

Weakly, she asked, "And what did you have planned?"

"Well, I think we should get any homework-"

_Figures. Why'd I ask?_

"-out of the way tonight so tomorrow we're free to go shopping. Then we can go-"

_Shopping? He's going shopping? Willingly? He hates shopping._

"Where are we going shopping?" she asked.

_Shopping. The weekend just improved._

Yakko however was on a roll and ignored her question, instead listing off the itinerary for the weekend.

"-And Sunday when Wakko gets back we can watch a movie while we wait for him to finish his work, then we can go over our lines one more time before we-"

"What do you have planned Yakko?"

"It's a surprise-"

"I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one, trust me. Anyway-"

_Just tell me,_ she mentally screamed as he continued to talk. _Yakko just talks too much sometimes._

"Yakko, come on!"

"Fine. I got tickets to something I think you'll like. Well, I know you'll like."

"Won't you tell me?"

"No."

"A hint?" When he smirked and shook his head, she tried begging. "Oh come

on? Please? I want to know!"

"I know…ain't I a stinker?"

"Stop ripping off Bugs' line and just tell me!"

"No. No to infinity. Ah ah," he said, putting his hand up and widening his smirk more when she moved to protest. "I'm not telling you, so just deal. You'll find out tomorrow. The show's at four; you won't have to wait too long. Now, let's go get the assignments out of the way; we can watch a movie when we're done and get pizza, OK?"

Well, sure beat a weekend of line reading and non-stop studying. And here she had been worried that Yakko wouldn't want to do anything with her.

So what if Wakko got to go somewhere; Yakko had apparently gone out of his way to make sure she felt better this weekend.

_Looks like it won't be so bad after all._

End Chapter 16


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - The Past

"Hurry up you two!"

Wakko turned to look; Buster was already halfway up the walkway outside the two story brick house, holding his books. Plucky was following behind him clutching his bedding, carrying a backpack in his beak. Mr. Bunny was waiting on the porch leaning against the post and watching all of them with a long-suffering look on his face.

"Cram it rabbit," Max growled quietly. "Your damn house isn't going anywhere."

Wakko snickered as he helped Max haul his blankets and pillow out of the back of the Bunny's black Ford Explorer. He gingerly touched his nose, still sore from Max's elbow.

"Sorry about before mime."

"Sure you are," Wakko muttered. "Watch where you throw those gangling limbs next time."

"Keep that tomato you call a nose out of the way."

The ride from the lot had been interesting, climaxing in a fantastic brawl in the backseat of the Bunny vehicle. Surprisingly, Mr. Bunny had seemed to accept this as something boys would usually do and had only asked that they not put anyone's head through a window.

Leaving the lot and battling his way through traffic, Mr. Bunny had said that they would stop to pick up Max first and then swing by to pick up Plucky. Handing a phone to Buster, he told him to call and inform them of when they would be by then turned to speak to Wakko, asking him how he felt about the show, the documentary, and the roles they would be playing.

While he appreciated Mr. Bunny asking his opinion, he wasn't sure what to say. This was more Yakko's department. He tried to speak intelligently, but was afraid he came out sounding like an idiot. Wakko had breathed a sigh of relief when Buster finally got off the phone and the conversation turned back to music, video games and classes.

Wakko had felt a bit of stomach twisting nervousness when they'd gone to pick up Max.

_Wishing Star District._

Wakko had suppressed a shudder. He had been young, but he had a few terrifying memories of Wishing-Star District; dodging hands as he dragged a screaming Dot around an eatery while trying to figure out what to do because he couldn't find his father and knew Yakko needed help and he couldn't do anything for him. A feeling of absolute terror of being put in the back of a car with Dot to be taken to 'processing'...

He had pushed the memory from his mind. While he had been petrified at the time, it had ended up working out; Yakko had managed to get them all together again, and now they were all safe. There wasn't any sense in dwelling on the past.

Besides, Buster was still talking to him, asking him about some baseball game. He didn't want to have to answer any uncomfortable questions about why he had gone silent at the mention of Wishing-Star District, and had quickly rejoined the conversation, looking out the window at the large mansions and castles with turrets stretching to the sky.

They had finally arrived at the Max mansion, where after being buzzed in the large wrought iron gates, they had driven up the long driveway to see the little loudmouthed toon waiting on the porch with his butler, Jeeves.

After the toon had crawled in the backseat with Wakko and greeted everyone, they had gone to get Plucky.

Plucky had a nice house; a two story Cape Cod with white siding, black shutters and an attached garage in which sat a red Jeep Wrangler. Situated on an end lot on Gromit Street, the Duck family had a nice view of the park, complete with a small lake and playground. And as Buster pointed out, he was within walking distance of the large, three story mall they passed on the way into the district.

Buster said he was about a fifteen minute bike ride when he wanted to go. According to Buster, there was one heck of an arcade there.

When Plucky had gotten in the car, Wakko had complimented him on his house and the duck had shrugged. Come to find out, Plucky's father was an architect - he had designed the house.

As the black Ford Explorer had pulled onto Sproxton Avenue, Wakko tried to look out the window, taking in the sights of this new section of ToonTown, wide-eyed. According to Mr. Bunny, Aardman was a newer district designed for upper-middle class toons. It looked like a nice district; certainly better than Plimpton - what little he could remember of it.

Plucky had struck up a conversation with Wakko about their classes. Wakko, grinning, had joined in, talking about how Foghorn was currently teaching him how to pull small bombs. Plucky had smiled and said he could do that, pulling a small lit bomb. When it was about to explode, he had tossed it to Max, who wasn't paying attention when it landed in his lap and exploded, covering him in ash.

That had been enough for the hot-tempered toon to come out of his seat and lunge at Plucky, dragging Wakko into the fray. Up in the front seat, Buster and his father were talking and totally ignoring the small skirmish that was occurring in the back seat.

As Wakko tried to dodge fists and feet he heard Max and Plucky laughing; apparently this was how they had fun. He ended up catching Max's elbow in his nose before he pushed the toon on the floor of the vehicle.

Finally, the ride had ended and they had pulled up at the Bunny residence.

Wakko bit the left corner of his lip and followed the other boys and Mr. Bunny up the walkway to the brick split-level house. He took a brief glace around him; Buster's house was at the corner of Bristol Street and Sproxton Avenue, situated in the middle of a spacious lawn. The other houses surrounding them were just as nice and well-kept.

An hour and a half ago when they had left the lot after his second talk with Yakko about making sure he attempted to not be too much of a pain, he had been euphoric. It was his first time away from his family, staying with friends for the weekend, doing stuff that normal kids do. Buster had said they would probably stay up half the night playing video games, talking, and eating.

Now that they were at Buster's house, he was experiencing other emotions; nervousness and trepidation. He was away from his family for the first time with no way to get back. These guys had known each other for years; worked together, played together, stayed at each other's houses almost every weekend.

He was an outsider; he'd only really known them for a month. Now he was here with them; what if this was a joke? They'd start making fun of him at any minute and try to mallet him.

_Stop being stupid,_ he told himself. _You've hung out with them almost everyday on the lot for the last month and they haven't tried to mallet you yet._

Well, Max did once, but that was because Wakko had laughed at him when he fell off the fence surrounding the building housing the girls' dressing rooms. And to be fair, Max had tried to mallet all of them.

Mr. Bunny unlocked the front door and held it open as the four boys walked inside. Wakko, carrying his pillow and blanket, returned the smile he flashed at him before following Plucky inside the residence.

Stepping into the entranceway, Wakko looked around, impressed. The Bunny's had a really nice house. Off to the left, Wakko could see a large kitchen with white and blue tiles gleaming in the sunlight shining in through the large windows. To the right was a sunken living room, carpeted in a dark blue shag, containing a couch, an easy chair, and a sweet entertainment center. Sitting on the floor in front of the television was the Sega Genesis Buster and the others had been babbling about.

Buster followed his father into the kitchen where they were talking quietly about something. Meanwhile, Plucky came back to Max and Wakko.

Very quietly, Plucky asked, "Max, you bring that game?"

Max smirked and rolled his eyes. "Got it in my bag. Told ya I would get it. Have I ever not come through before?"

"What game is it?" Wakko asked, trying to keep his voice down. He wasn't sure why they were whispering, but had already discovered if they were being quiet, there was a reason. Usually a very good reason.

Plucky, with a huge grin on his beak, was about to answer but stopped at Max's rough nudge; Buster and his father were both coming out of the kitchen. Buster came over to them while his father continued down the hall.

"Dad's going to his study. Come on, I'll show you my room," Buster said, waving his arm for them to follow him.

"You don't need to show me; I've seen it," Plucky said.

"I know you have moron; I was talking to him," Buster said, pointing to Wakko before going up the stairs.

Snickering, Max and Wakko followed Buster up the stairs while Plucky grumbled about stupid rabbits making things clear when they speak. Reaching the top of the stairs, Buster opened the first door to the right and headed in, dropping his books on a single bed with a green blanket. A desk sat in front of the window looking out onto the front lawn. A dresser was pushed against the far wall near the closet. A shining blue guitar leaned against the corner near the bed, gleaming in the late day sun shining through the window. Posters of sports teams and cars lined the walls.

"Funny," Wakko muttered to himself, "I figured you'd have a race car bed Buster."

He heard Plucky and Max start laughing and he colored slightly at Buster's nasty look. He hadn't realized that he had spoken out loud.

"Piss off Warner," Buster growled, glaring at him. The effect was killed by his mouth curling upwards as he said it.

Max, still snickering, said, "Nah inky, he got rid of that last year. Moved up to the big boys' bed."

"Yeah, our little man is growing up," Plucky added before him and Max fell on each other, finding the situation more hilarious than Buster. "He even got rid of his Ninja Turtle sheets."

"Screw you guys," Buster said, turning to share his annoyed look with them.

Wakko, amused and alarmed, tried to pacify Buster before a fight broke out.

"You do have a nice room though. It's a lot better than sharing one - Yakko talks in his sleep and I-"

That seemed to have the desired effect. Buster grinned then turned to the others, who were still laughing and making jokes.

"Why thank you Wakko. See guys?" Buster said, turning to the others. "See how easy it is to be polite?" Pointing at Max, he continued. "Take Max here – first night he stayed over, he was all indignant that he had to sleep on the floor."

"Look Bunny," Max snapped, balling a fist as he talked. "It was my first time sleeping over at anyone's house! How was I supposed to know you expected me to sleep on the floor like a homeless person!"

"Not everyone has a million extra bedrooms in their house dufus!"

"Next thing I expected to hear was that we should go grab a shopping cart and grub around in the dumpster for our meals," Max muttered, shooting a glare at Wakko and Plucky when they started laughing.

Buster rolled his eyes. "Moron. It's a sleepover! We all usually sleep together- "

"You probably know more about that than I," Max countered. Turning to the still laughing Wakko and Plucky, he yelled, "Will you two shut up already? It's not that funny!"

"I disagree," Wakko said, wiping a tear from his eye. "I think it's very funny."

"You would you moronic mime."

"All right guys, enough insults. Dump your stuff – let's go see if Dad will order pizza or something. I'm hungry." Cutting his eyes at Max, he bowed and added, "If that meets with Master Montana's approval of course. I wouldn't want him to feel like he's slumming."

Max shook his balled up fist at him. "Don't play with me Bunny – I didn't know. I was just happy to find out you didn't live in a hole in the ground."

Tossing their belongings on his bed, everyone followed Buster down the stairs, the others filling Wakko in on the neighborhood. In the kitchen, Buster's father was seated at a large round table in the center of the room, drinking coffee and writing out something on a sheet of paper. When asked, the elder Bunny was more than happy to order pizza for them since the alternative was to either haul everyone out somewhere or cook.

While they were waiting for the pizza, Mr. Bunny asked everyone to sit down at the table so he could go over the house rules, which included no bloodshed, staying out of his study and no one, especially Wakko, leave the property. If they wanted or needed to go somewhere, he would be more than happy to take them.

Wakko fidgeted as he talked. Until now, he hadn't thought about that either. He was essentially confined to the house. While it was doubtful that TIS would be in this neighborhood, there was no sense in taking any chances.

He was also happy that he had spoken to Yakko. After a discussion with his older brother about what they should be saying should anyone ask them about their past, Yakko had determined that they shouldn't lie. Lying could potentially come back and bite them one day. It was always possible that something could come out about their past.

Wakko looked at his new friends. They knew that the Warners were under studio protection and wanted by TIS. Somehow, no one had ever gotten around to asking why. Wakko mentally crossed his fingers; hopefully, none of them would.

He wouldn't lie to his friends, but he really didn't want to bring the whole mess to light, especially so soon after meeting them. Who knew what they would say? A few questions had come up about his parents, and he had skirted around the issue, sticking with the 'Mom is dead; Dad is missing' story he had told them a month ago. It wasn't a lie after all; he just wasn't getting into details.

Yakko had said it best; don't lie, but don't volunteer any additional information either.

After ten minutes of listening to his father Buster finally sighed, "We got it Dad. None of us – especially Wakko – leaves the house, period."

Max and Plucky nodded, turning to give Wakko smirks and he shrunk back slightly.

_What'd I do now?_

Plucky added, "Leave? He's not going to be able to get near a window."

_I'm not going to crawl out the window. Dumb duck._

"Mime's gonna have a hard time sneaking past the three of us," Max said, shooting Wakko a mock-glare and pounding one fist into his hand. "TIS will be the last of his worries if he tries."

_Almost like they're trying to protect me._

Wakko looked at him for a second before starting to laugh.

"Don't worry - I'll stay put, I promise."

_No way I'm risking not being able to come back because I snuck off. I can be a little responsible…sometimes._

"Yeah, we're all staying put. No way we want the inksplot snatched by a hunter," Plucky said. He added quietly, "Who else would help us prank the lot?"

Wakko almost choked on another laugh as Max and Buster both kicked him under the table, bringing forth a few muttered swear words. Mr. Bunny regarded all of them for a moment before sighing and turning back to his son.

"Look, I'm not going to ask. Just don't leave the house, OK?"

"Promise Dad, no one will get within ten feet of the door."

"That's probably a bit excessive Buster. I'll accept no one opening the doors."

A knock at the front door interrupted any further discussion, and Mr. Bunny went to answer. He returned shortly with the pizzas which he dropped on the table. Then he quickly stepped away as the four boys pounced on the pies.

With a final 'have fun boys - don't kill each other' he disappeared out of the kitchen and down the hall. Wakko barely heard the door to Mr. Bunny's study closing over the loud chewing sounds coming from the others.

Buster, in between chews, asked, "So, you get the game Max?"

"Yeah yeah, damn, you and the duck. I got it; I always do."

"OK, come off it. What's this game you keep talking about?" Wakko asked.

Three heads turned to look at him, still vigorously chewing on their slices.

"You don't know?" Max said. "You been living in a cave or something?"

"Shut up Monty," Buster snapped.

"Why Wakko, it's only the most anticipated game of the year!" Plucky said loudly while gnawing on a slice of pizza. "It won't be out until the end of the summer! And already it's been rated as inappropriate for children-"

"-Hence why I was voted to get a copy," Max finished. Getting a rather sly look on his face, he added, "Money gets you some good connections."

"Shut up Max, you probably just sent your butler out to get it.," Plucky laughed.

"Who cares? He was able to get an advance copy. I got it, and if you don't shut up, you don't get to play it."

"All right Mongoloid, just calm down; you're our hero," Buster said. Turning to Wakko, he asked, "You've heard about 'Mortal Kombat' right?"

Wakko shook his head. Plucky and Max were staring at him with a look close to wonder, like they couldn't believe they were looking at such a thing; a boy who had never heard of some video game. He tried to fight the urge to shrink down lower in the chair.

"It's coming out later in the year. Monty here has a special connection; he gets a lot of the games for Genesis prior to release dates." Buster cocked his head at him and narrowed his eyes. "You do play Genesis right?"

"Um, no," Wakko answered, feeling stupid at the other's looks. "I've never played any of the systems before," he added in a mutter.

_Great, now I look like some dip again._

There was a stunned silence for a few seconds, and Wakko lost the battle; he sunk in his chair, dinner momentarily forgotten. It wasn't his fault; they didn't have a lot of access to gaming systems on the street, they didn't have one at the tower, right now anyway. Maybe he could ask for one for his birthday. No, he wanted harp lessons. Christmas?

"Guys," Buster said, standing up in his chair and giving everyone a serious look. "We obviously have a mission for tonight. It's a crying shame that a boy this age hasn't ever played a Genesis before."

_I feel like a traitor to boys everywhere..._

"It's unpatriotic! No! No - it's un-American!" Plucky yelled, banging his fist on the table and making the plates jump. "To never have clutched a game controller and battled to the death with Ryu as you attempt to do a Shoryuken!"

_What the hell is he talking about?_

"Poor deprived child," Max added with a theatrical sigh, rolling his eyes back as he placed the back of his hand on his forehead. "To never have stayed up all night getting your ass handed to you by Xavier Pendragon."

_Who?_

"It's cruel! It's a fate worse than death!" Plucky continued to yell, now waving his fist in the air. "It's-"

"-An excuse to stay up all night playing video games," Buster finished.

_They're all deranged._

Wakko was watching all this in wide eyed astonishment. Who knew they were so passionate about video games? Well, they had mentioned it once or twice on the show, but for all he knew it was just a script. But not now - no way that gleam in Plucky's eyes was anything but a fervent desire to play as many video games as he possibly could. The others looked almost as bad.

"This travesty cannot continue. Guys, you know what we must do," Buster said, nodding to them.

Plucky and Max nodded back before all three turned toward Wakko, who looked back at them, wondering what they planned to do. They wouldn't kick him out of the house because he was less than knowledgeable about video games would they? Or would they decide that they didn't want to hang out with him anymore because of his less than privileged background? Christ, he'd get a subscription to Nintendo Power or something…No, better not do that - they were obviously Sega fans.

Seeing all three boys stand, Wakko almost felt a slight bit of panic. They were going to throw him out...

Instead, Max stood and grabbed Wakko's left arm. Plucky jumped up, a slice of pizza in his beak and grabbed his right arm. Wakko tried to protest and shake them off, but Max shoved a piece of pizza in his mouth and told him to be quiet. Buster grabbed a box with several slices left in it and they practically dragged Wakko to the living room, directly in front of the television.

"Sit," Buster ordered.

Slightly shocked, Wakko sat and watched as the others crowded around him.

"Start with something easy for the virgin," Plucky said.

"Yeah, and grab something good, not that Ecco the Dolphin crap," Max added.

"We'll start with a true classic," Buster said in a tone that clearly said it was his system and he would decide.

Handing Wakko a controller, he picked up another one already plugged into the system while Max moved behind Wakko to begin to explain the controller, the game, and the best way to kick Buster's ass while Plucky moved closer to Buster to watch, leaning back against the couch.

Grinning, Wakko listened and watched as Buster finally turned the system on and the opening graphics came on the screen, the TV briefly yelling 'Sega' before a blue hedgehog appeared on screen, racing toward a group of rings.

Wakko felt embarrassed, this time with his own thoughts. Instead of making fun of his lack of knowledge, they were helping him, accepting him as one of their own, rallying around him and pulling him into their group. He snorted to himself; and Yakko said he was too trusting sometimes.

Hoping Yakko and Dot were having as much fun as he was, he exchanged a grin with Buster as the other two toons began yelling out advice to him. He started laughing, liking the sense of belonging as he watched his character get beaten in the race against Buster's figure and Max gave him a half-hearted slap across the head, telling him to pay attention and to try again.

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko took another handful of popcorn and watched Dot's eyes start to close. Just when he thought she was finally going to fall asleep, they snapped back open, looking at him fearfully. She took a deep breath and turned back to watch the television, trying to focus on the deer and other little forest creatures flitting around Briar Rose.

He grinned to himself; what was it with her and Wakko? Both would rather kill themselves than go to bed even ten minutes before they had to. He glanced at the clock on the VCR; seven-eleven. He'd be surprised if she made it to seven-thirty, let alone eight-thirty.

Glancing over his shoulder, he could make out Wakko in the kitchen, still scribbling away at whatever assignment he had left to complete. They had already gone over their lines for their first day of shooting tomorrow. And he had discussed a project he and Wakko needed to start as soon as he was finished with his homework. He had been putting it off long enough.

Wakko had seemed to have a good time off with his friends, though he came back with one hell of a video game addiction. He had a feeling that Wakko would be asking for a system instead of harp lessons for his birthday now. Too bad; he was doing wonderfully at the violin.

Watching Wakko continuing to write, he glanced over at the book his younger brother had brought him back from the mall; 'The Indian's Last Arrow; A Novel of Displacement'. Wakko had gone to some giant mall with his little group on Saturday to rot their minds some more at the arcade. He apparently used whatever money he had on purchasing something for him and Dot.

Handing a white plastic bag to Dot, he said he was sorry he had been avoiding her lately while Yakko had watched, pleased with his brother. He had mentioned to Wakko that Dot was feeling left out and he would be taking her out over the weekend.

Dot had opened the bag and squealed in delight. Wherever he had gone, he had found the perfect gift for her; a small pink jewelry box. Made of cardboard and covered in pink satin, when the lid was lifted, a little ballerina wearing a white tutu sprung up and twirled around while 'Swan Lake' played. Dot had fallen in love with it and seemed to forgive Wakko instantly.

Looking back at Dot, he smirked; she was finally out. Looking at the clock, he felt his face break into a grin; seven-fourteen. Well, she had a big weekend.

Shopping, eating out, and she was still wired from the Lipizzaner Horse performance he had taken her to yesterday afternoon; it was all she had talked about today. Luckily Porky had been more than willing to chaperone them around town and to drive the almost forty miles out to the fairgrounds in Pomona.

Yakko had felt a little guilty for asking him, but Porky had been enthused about the idea. According to Dot, Porky loved horses and owned two himself. He had refused to let Yakko purchase his ticket for the show nor would he accept any gas money. Yakko had to finally be content with buying the good natured pig dinner before he pulled money out to pay for that too.

But Dot had been delighted; she and Porky had talked for hours about the equine ballet. She had been over the moon when Yakko had bought her a large stuffed animal of a horse; even now, curled up in her frilly pink pajamas asleep on the couch she was clutching the brilliant white horse to her chest.

Laughing slightly, he turned to the television. Noticing what scene was coming up next, he quickly stopped the movie before Briar Rose and Prince Philip started singing. He still loved the song, but it tended to make him melancholy now. It always brought up memories of his mother; her face, her smile, what might have been, what could have been, if life had gone in a different direction for her.

But, when he had gone shopping with her yesterday with an amused Porky in tow, Dot had spotted the movie in a store window and wanted to see it. He had cringed but bought the movie; she shouldn't be denied seeing the classics because he got emotional during a song. She had watched most of it with him last night, falling asleep during the climatic rescue scene. That of course meant re-watching it again tonight…

He shook his head; it happened years ago and so much had happened since then, but sometimes it felt like it was yesterday.

He picked up Dot, her head thrown back over his shoulder and carried her to her room. Flicking on the lights in the pink and white bedroom, he laid her on the bed, moving over stuffed animals and pillows. He started to tuck her in when she began to stir, her eyes flickering open again to look at him in confusion.

He groaned to himself. She usually fell asleep well before eight-thirty. He had mentioned changing it once and the ruckus that was raised was enough to convince him to leave it alone. He didn't want to look like the dink of a brother, and since she appeared to get enough sleep, he was content to let it stay as it was and have her fall asleep when she was ready.

But if she woke up when he was putting her to bed, she got indigent and insisted that she was only resting her eyes and that he was being mean making her go to bed early. Of course, after she gave him the puppy dog eyes and begged sweetly for him to let her get back up, he'd relent and they'd go through the whole routine again.

He looked down at her.

_It should be starting-_

"Yakko, what are you doing? I wasn't asleep!"

_-right now._

"Sure you weren't. That's why you were snoring-"

"I wasn't snoring!"

Well, she was, very quietly. But she always got mad if he said she was.

"How would you know? You were asleep."

"I wasn't sleeping," she huffed. "I closed my eyes because they were burning!"

_Not this complaint again?_

"The tower isn't that smoky-"

"It was after you burned supper."

"That was hours ago!"

_Boy, you burn one batch of Helper and no one lets you forget it._

"Still smoky in here. But I'm awake, and I want to finish watching-"

"We'll finish it tomorrow. Oh come on Dot," he said, trying to keep the begging tone out of his voice at her look. "You were sleeping like you pricked your finger on a spindle."

"But I want to see what happens!"

"We'll watch tomorrow."

"You don't like that movie do you?"

Yakko inwardly cringed. She was sharp, sometimes he couldn't hide a lot from her.

"I like the movie Dot, just-"

He hated when he got tongue-tied. It didn't happen often, and when it did, he was always unprepared for it.

"-it just reminds me of someone from long ago."

"Who?"

_I am not getting into this tonight._

"Just a person from when I was younger. Now, try to go to sleep, we've got our first day of filming-"

"It's our mother right?"

_What?_

"Why do you say that Dot?" he asked quietly.

"I heard Wakko asking you about what we should say when people ask. And you didn't want to buy that movie either. And you got a funny look when the princess started singing, like your face was all twisting up. You got the same look when Wakko was talking to you. It's because of her isn't it?"

Dot sat back up, trying to scrunch closer to him, still clutching the stuffed horse to her chest.

"Um…well, yeah," he finally muttered, sometimes wishing his sister wasn't quite as perceptive as she was.

"What happened to her Yakko? I asked Wakko once, but he said he remembered a lady singing and falling down a lot, and you telling him something about toons doing weird things to their body, but that's it. He's forgetful though; I know you remember."

Yakko blinked at her. Wakko had been pretty young when it happened; honestly, he was surprised that Wakko remembered anything.

"Wakko was younger than you are now; be happy he remembers that much. Look, I'll explain this when you're older; its late now and-"

"Please tell me about her? Something?"

Yakko sat on the edge of the bed next to her, wondering why she was getting curious about this all of a sudden. She had never asked questions about either of their parents; she just seemed to accept that Yakko and Wakko were the only family she had. Or at least that was what he hoped, which was foolish; of course one day she would be curious about why she lived with two brothers and no one else.

OK, he hoped the conversation would be put off for a considerable amount of time. From her body language, while he hoped that it could be put off a while longer, he had a feeling it wouldn't be much longer.

"Dot, it's not exactly a bedtime story OK? We'll talk about it later, preferably when you're older and can-"

"That's not fair! You remember her; Wakko remembers her - sort of - and you won't tell me anything about her! She's my mother too!"

She was going to throw a tantrum. The bad thing was, she had a point. It wasn't her fault she was too young to remember anything about their former life. In a few ways, she was lucky; there were certainly plenty of things he'd like to forget about their past.

"Please Yakko? Something?" she asked. Curling her legs up so she could rest her chin on her knees, she continued. "Was she pretty? What was her name? What happened to her? Could she sing?"

Yakko regarded her and wondered what he should say as she continued to asked questions. He should have been thinking about this for both her and Wakko. Wakko probably would have some hazy memories of their parents, especially their father. His sister's memories of both their parents would be nonexistent.

What should he say? Did he even try to explain to a five-year old that her mother was an alcoholic and had taken so much Twink she fried her brain and ended up dieing twenty minutes before they got home one day?

Or that her father was a gambling, lying alcoholic bastard that had contributed to their mother's death? Or that he was a thief, a pickpocket who had forced Yakko to do it too by using his baby sister as leverage? Or even worse, brought in his youngest son on the family business, than abandoned them all when things got a little hot?

_Hell no._

She hadn't asked about their father, not yet anyway, so he wasn't going to bring him up. Just thinking about him usually brought on a wave of irritation. But he should be thinking about him, both of them. Even if Wakko was content with simple answers for now, and Dot wasn't asking any questions about their father, they would eventually, and they had every right to know. When they were older.

"Don't I deserve to know something about her Yakko?"

Yakko looked back at her. Sitting on the bed, clutching her horse and swathed in the frothy pink bedding giving him one of the saddest looks he had ever seen on her face, she looked so woebegone and alone he felt some of his resistance to talking to her about this subject melt away.

He finally sighed and scooted around so his back was against the white wooden headboard and came to two conclusions. The first was Dot's twin bed was too small to comfortably hold his lanky frame and her too. The second was that she was right; she did deserve some details; very edited details.

Pulling Dot into his lap and resting his chin on her head, he said, "Fine. You're right. So I'll make you this deal. You can ask whatever you want, and I'll try to answer, unless I have a good reason not to, in which case you'll have to wait until you're older."

He saw her look up and frown, and he quickly said, "Take it or leave it. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm not going to get into some details right now; not until your older." She finally nodded and he added, "After that it's lights out, deal?"

She looked up at him and grinned. "Deal. Where is she?"

Thinking that a simple answer would be the best route for now, he said, "She died a long time ago."

Dot's eyes widened, the small pastel lamp on the bedside table reflecting in her dark eyes.

"How?"

"She was really sick."

"Why?"

"Her body was…tired. It just couldn't work right anymore."

"Why?" When he didn't answer, she added, "It's one of those wait until your older questions isn't it?"

"Fraid so. Next?"

She gave a deep sigh and muttered, "Anything good I have to wait until I'm older. Fine. What was she like? What was her name? Was she pretty? I bet she was," Dot finished off, nodding her head once to herself as if to confirm this fact.

"Her name was Ophelia, and yes, she was very pretty. She had big green eyes and she-"

"Do you have a picture?" Dot asked, interrupting him.

"No. Sorry Dot, I don't have any pictures." He sighed quietly, "I wish I did."

He had gone through the scrapbook several times. Unfortunately, there were no pictures of her in there. The only thing that even mentioned her name was the marriage certificate and their three birth certificates.

"What did she do?"

_Besides drink a lot?_

"Ehhhh…she was a singer. And a dancer."

"Where?"

For a conversation he really didn't want to have, it was going on a lot longer than he wanted it to.

"At a few different…clubs…around ToonTown."

That was true. He didn't see any need to tell her that the clubs weren't the highest class places around.

"Did she love us?"

Yakko started at that question. He hated being caught unawares.

Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, she loved us a lot."

"I thought so. I bet that's why you're such a good older brother now…" Dot trailed off in a honeyed tone and smiled at him again.

_What a cute, cloying thing to say…wonder what she wants…_

"Yakko…"

_Oh lord what else is she going to spring on me tonight?_

"Will you read me a story?"

Yakko stared at her, amazed, as she smiled her widest smile, showing off her dimples and he groaned, knowing this fight was lost before he could even reach the battlefield. But, reading a story would distract her from asking any more uncomfortable questions for now.

He looked at the 'Hello Kitty' clock on the nightstand; it was only seven-forty-two; he could read to her for a few minutes. Her eyes were starting to close again…

Rolling his eyes, he said, "What happened to our deal about lights out?"

"Please?"

_And she begs so sweetly…_

"Just stop with the look, OK? You're gonna send me into insulin shock if you get any sweeter."

She had her self-satisfied, 'I won against big brother again' look on her face and resigned to his fate he grabbed a book off the nightstand. Her favorite; 'Whisper the Winged Unicorn'.

_Speaking of super sugary…_

Flipping the book open with her curled in his lap, he started reading as he felt her snuggle deeper into his chest and drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Fossil. Ralph Lauren. Moschino. Coach. Hugo Boss. Kenneth Cole. Louis Vuitton. Chanel._

Yakko kept digging through the bag, pulling out a wide variety of wallets in all sizes, shapes and colors; some high end brands, others cheap knockoffs. The bag was growing heavy sitting on his lap, and he finally just put it on the round kitchen table and continued to pull them out. Perched beside him he could see Wakko giving him a chagrined look, his feet swinging back and forth over the edge of the chair.

"Don't give me that look Wak; you knew we were going to do this eventually."

Flipping open a white wallet with the double 'C' trademark, he looked at the license; Sonya Cliff, an elegant looking white furred cat toon with a beauty mark on her fur.

Chanel though…might be more than he could pay right now. Sighing, he reached into the section that had once held cash and pulled out a slip of paper with his handwriting.

_ToonTown, Clampett District, fifty-four dollars._

That wasn't bad at all; he could pay this one now. He added it to the two wallets he had placed in a separate pile, the lucky few who were about to get their property back after who knew how long.

He grabbed a black Louis Vuitton billfold and opened that one, revealing the license for a human man named George Prescott. He looked for his memo to himself inside.

_LAX, one hundred ninety-two dollars._

He frowned and put that wallet back on the table. What he had set aside from his funds to start paying back the money stolen, one hundred ninety-two dollars was almost half. He decided to look at the lower end wallets first; they would probably have less funds to be returned. He hated to think that way, but he only had four-hundred dollars to use for this month.

Cutting his eyes to Wakko, he said, "I don't see you writing."

"That's because I'm not," Wakko said. At Yakko's look, he added, "Yakko, I don't know what to say! Can't we just mail it back to them with the money in it? Why do I have to write-"

Yakko sighed. Wakko didn't appear to be getting it. He had a point - these people who were getting their wallets and money back probably didn't care if there was a note enclosed or not. He was pretty sure that every single one of them probably thought they would never see their items again.

Yakko was adamant about it though. He was trying to set a good example for Wakko, and hoping that the lesson would sink in. He hadn't even got a hint that his brother had gone back to their former occupation, especially after that disaster at the convention, but a reminder probably wouldn't hurt.

Not to mention, these people who had lost their possessions to the Warner's quick fingers deserved to know why.

"Wak, I told you, just write something short and anonymous."

"I don't see you writing anything," Wakko muttered. He looked at the growing pile of wallets on the table before turning back to Yakko. "I didn't take all of these you know."

"I know Wakko, and I'll be writing some of the notes out too. But seriously, I didn't take all these wallets either. I think your old enough to help out; we're only doing it once a month."

Wakko still had a scowl on his face. Yakko decided to try again.

He grabbed another wallet, a long brown billfold containing a check book and several pictures of children. He felt guilty stealing anyone's wallet. The ones that tormented him though were the ones with pictures of kids in them, and chances were, once that was pointed out, it would Wakko too.

Holding it open so Wakko could see the photos, he said, "Look at this one. This lady, Sandy Hutchinson. She has kids, four from the looks of these photos, one near Dot's age. What if she wasn't able to feed her children for a week, or two weeks, because we took her paycheck? Can you imagine what she went through, when she got to the store and couldn't pay for groceries for them because we took it?"

Wakko looked at the photos, focusing in on the photos of the children before turning away, looking at the floor instead. Yakko leaned over and grabbed his chin, gently turning his head back toward him.

"Can you think of how horrible that may have been, to have worked for a week or two, get your paycheck, go to get food or medicine or clothing for your family, and now you don't have the money for it? What if the situation was reversed, if this was your wallet and you were going to get food for me…or for Dot?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Yakko mentally berated himself; he shouldn't have pushed it that far. Wakko looked like he was about to cry. The intention hadn't been to get him upset.

"Look don't get upset kiddo; we did what we had to do. But don't you think she at least deserves to know why? All these people?"

Biting on his lower lip, Wakko nodded, still looking miserable. Yakko breathed a sigh of relief; Wakko may be hard headed sometimes, but he had a good heart.

"Just write something from the heart." Not likening how cutesy that sounded, he added, "Ehhhh, something short, saying that we took it to feed ourselves, we're sorry, blah blah blah."

Wakko nodded again, then pointed to the walled in Yakko's hand and asked, "Can I do her?"

Yakko hesitated; Mrs. Hutchinson had been a victim on Olive Avenue back in late September of last year, and lost one hundred and sixty-four dollars according to his little note. If he remembered correctly, he had used that money to put him over the top to buy Wakko's mallet. The left over had been put aside to be used as the fund toward purchasing Dot's gloves.

A hundred and sixty-four dollars; it was a lot of money. He had been trying to get as many out as possible, and thus had been looking for the lower amounts. But Wakko wanted to do this one…

Yakko nodded and handed the wallet to him.

"Sure, go ahead."

Wakko took the wallet and briefly flipped through it, stopping to look at a few pictures of the children briefly before looking at the license of the woman. Then he grabbed a pencil and piece of paper sitting on the table and began to write.

Yakko watched him briefly before turning back to the pile of wallets, wondering which ones he should do. There was just so many. They had been taking them for years, he knew there was a pile of them, but he hadn't been expecting this when he opened the bag.

He should have though; during their last months on the street, the burlap sack he had found in a dumpster all those years ago in Plympton had been getting tighter, but he had not pulled it out in years. He had just been bringing it to the opening of his hammerspace and shoving a wallet in the top before banishing it again.

He cut his eyes toward Wakko. His little brother was still writing away, tongue hanging out of the left side of his mouth as he concentrated, his messy scrawl rapidly spreading across the paper. Yakko wondered what he was writing; he only asked him to write a short note, not a multiple page epistle.

Yakko opened another wallet, a small brown tri-fold. No note was inside it, meaning it was no doubt grabbed in ToonTown early in his career. Frowning, he put it to the side. Those wallets, the ones with no notes he was putting to the side for now. He'd deal with them at a later time, when he felt like delving deep into his memory trying to get an accurate estimate of how much he should put in those billfolds.

"I'm done, wanna see?"

Yakko blinked and turned to see Wakko kneeling in his chair, holding out the piece of paper to him with a hesitant look. Yakko took the piece of paper, relieved to see that Wakko just wrote large and didn't just ramble in the note.

With Wakko's anxious eyes still watching him, Yakko leaned back in the chair to read.

_Dear Ms. Hutchinson_

_You don't know us, and we don't know you, and that's good because if we did know you, my big brother would have made me bring this back to you. He made me do it once. It wasn't fun._

_I'm really sorry we took your wallet. Your kids are really cute. Your little girl is my sisters age. And that's why we took it._

_Well, not all of it. But we didn't have anything to eat and we had to do something. We didn't want to see our little sister go hungry. We didn't want to be hungry either. I've been hungry before. That wasn't fun either._

_I hope your kids didn't go hungry or get sick because of what we did. We both are really sorry. But my brother did say that one day, when we had money and didn't have to pick pockets anymore he wanted to start paying some of the money back. We still don't have a lot of money. Well, I don't, because he only gives me ten dollars a week, but he does. And I chose your wallet as the first one to pay back. But I had to write the note._

_Here's all the money we took from you. Maybe you can use this money to take all your kids out for ice cream. Or candy - kids like candy._

Yakko was impressed in spite of himself. Wakko followed the instructions for the most part. He said they were sorry, he said why the wallet was taken, and he kept it anonymous.

He didn't keep it quite as short as directed, and his sentence structure and spelling had some room for improvement, but it was heartfelt.

"Is it OK?"

Yakko looked at his younger brother, still gripping his pencil between taunt fingers.

"It's perfect Wak."

"You think she'll like it?"

"I think she will. It's really good Wak; I think I'll use this as an example when I go to write a few."

Wakko smiled, looking quite pleased with himself as he said, "Faboo!" Then his face changed to one of curiosity. "How come I couldn't tell her who we were?"

"Well sib, I don't think signing our names to it would be smart. In a matter of months we'll be on a show that's not only playing in ToonTown, but across the country. We'll probably be recognizable." Yakko sighed. "I don't want to ruin our reputations before we even get on the air I guess. I'm still holding out hope that Dot never figures out what we did."

"Oh. So you're never gonna tell her?"

"I wouldn't say never," Yakko mused. "Just maybe when she's older."

"OK." Wakko sat back down in his chair, curling his legs under him to watch as

Yakko took a wallet and began writing a note of explanation and apology to another unfortunate whose path had happened to cross theirs.

XXXXXXXXXX

"No Yakko, I don't care if Bugs was teaching you how to do it, I'm not allowing you to pop up out of the Prime Minister's dress!"

"Come on Stan," Yakko grinned. "Really bring in the audience if I popped out of those-"

Yakko grinned as Stan shot him a glare.

"God, the FCC would shut us down before we even air."

That was true, but watching Stan get in a dizzy about any sexual innuendo had been the highlight of his morning.

Why he and Wakko had to howl 'Hello Prime Minister Nurse' to her didn't make a lot of sense to him though. Not that he necessarily had any objections to howling at her per say; the lady playing the Prime Minister, Lorelei Miller, was gorgeous. But it was to be expected; she was Lisa Miller's older sister. Now saying it to Lisa made more sense; she was hot and a nurse. Lorelei was an editor for some toon fashion magazine.

"Then how about you let us go to lunch? I'm in the mood for some melons today and-"

"Ah! Just stop. Just stop! Fine; it's time anyway," Stan said, grabbing his megaphone. "People! Pay attention! Hey you! Grab that kid before he eats everything off the cart!"

Yakko started snickering as some stage hand went to grab Wakko off the catering cart where he was currently eating all the donuts, an excited Dot cheering him on. Wakko hopped off the cart when the stage hand told him to, then immediately jumped back on as soon as the man turned back around.

Yakko heard Stan huff in annoyance before he began speaking into his megaphone again.

"Lunch people! Be back here at one!" Stan bellowed. Taking the megaphone away from his mouth, he turned back to Yakko. "Except you three - you've got class, right?" At Yakko's nod, he said, "That should end at two. Be back then."

Yakko gave him a salute. "Will do."

"Hopefully you three will be calmer then," he muttered.

"It's sort of your fault Stan," Yakko said, grinning. "You're the one who gave us double espressos."

Yakko knew they were high in caffeine, but he hadn't expected the burst of energy that had come from the tiny drinks. He hadn't been too bad - he ran his mouth more than normal and his hands were shaking. Wakko and Dot though had gone from being groggy and cranky when they arrived on set at six A.M. to being almost uncontrollable by six-forty-five. The crash an hour later was a bit of a surprise, but another shot of the little drink had perked them right up.

The three of them were now banned from being within fifteen feet of the machine.

Yakko hoped Stan learned his lesson; he knew he was never going to forget it. Wakko and Dot wouldn't be having coffee again until they were in their thirties if he had to deal with them.

"No I didn't! You three grabbed them off the cart!"

Yakko shrugged. "I thought it was hot chocolate."

That wasn't entirely true, but Stan didn't need to know that.

Walking off Stan shook his head and said, "Two wild children and one horny teenager, how are we-"

"I'm not a teenager yet," Yakko yelled to his turned back. "Still got four months to go."

Stan turned back to look at him and then groaned, "We're all doomed."

With that, he walked away, shaking his head and muttering to himself about randy children.

Laughing, Yakko began to walk across the set to grab his siblings so they could get something to eat. He was actually quite pleased; their first day of filming was going very well.

They had seen their old buddy Yosemite Sam on the way to the set, who had actually stopped and wished them luck in his harsh way, surprising all of them, especially Dot. Yakko had managed to distract her from asking too many questions by asking her to review a few lines.

What they had filmed they got right in the first couple of tries. Stan, despite Yakko's more interesting comments and Wakko and Dot running wild, had seemed impressed with their performance and said if they kept up the pace they were currently on, they would have no problem getting this script filmed by the end of the week.

Which was good news. They already had the next script they were supposed to film; 'The Big Candy Store'. It was a short one, not like 'King Yakko', and looked like it would entail more Toon Theory teaching than this script currently called for.

Other than a few instances, this script had been mostly special effects, like the giant inflatable car his sibs got to pop. Two men in the episode, one playing the evil King Umlatt and the other who resembled Bob Hope were both skilled at Chucking and could take multiple hits with an anvil before needing a break.

Reaching his siblings he almost started laughing again. Wakko was coated in enough powdered sugar he looked like he had been on the losing end of a battle with the Pillsbury Doughboy. Dot, who had apparently managed to wrestle a chocolate coated one away from Wakko, was happily munching away on that while asking Wakko if he thought he could eat four at a time.

Yakko rolled his eyes; give Wakko enough time he would be able to eat eight at a time.

"Come on guys, let's go get some real food."

"Good, I'm hungry," Wakko said.

Dot looked at him in shock. "You just ate ten donuts! How can you be hungry?"

"I'm a growing boy."

"Growing wider you mean," Dot retorted. "They'll have to fit you for a new costume soon you pig."

Wakko laughed, reforming his nose into a pig snout, sending Dot into a spasm of giggles. Yakko was impressed; he was able to hold it for several seconds. If nothing else, it showed he was paying attention in Foghorn's classes.

"You keep eating all that sugar Wak, you're gonna rot all your teeth out before you're ten. Let's go get you some vegetables or something," Yakko said, snickering at Wakko's look of disgust and Dot's smug look. "Don't look too superior Dot; you could probably do with some vegetables yourself."

That wiped the smile off her face.

Yakko led them off the set and down a short corridor, finally reaching the outside. Stepping into the bright sunlight, he stretched, hearing the bones in his tail and neck crack. The last half-hour on set he had been curled up in the cramped director's chair. As much fun as it was, he was glad they were finally getting their break.

As they made their way across the lot toward the cafeteria, they had to pass the front gates. Yakko frowned a bit. The security guard at the gate was a fellow named Ralph Rodes, a very rotund human toon. He was also a very stupid toon.

Despite himself, Yakko actually felt a bit sorry for him. The guy was about as intelligent as your average head of lettuce. As such, he was the butt of many jokes and pranks around the lot, and at least once a week, the poor dip had to listen to Plotz yell at him about something.

Not to mention, Wakko and his little posse seemed to have taken a liking to harassing the guard. Two weeks ago, the guard's car wouldn't start when he went to leave; come to find out there was about five bananas shoved up the tailpipe. Yakko had a feeling Wakko was involved in the scheme, but he denied it. Since he hadn't been chewing on his lip, Yakko took him at his word. It was only later that he thought of if Wakko wasn't involved with it, he may have suggested it.

Dot also held a special scorn in her heart for the guard. She stated anyone with an IQ lower than her age simply didn't deserve her sympathy.

He never considered his sibs cruel or unreasonably mean, so their annoyance with Ralph always confused him. The guy got on his nerves as well, especially when the man tried to think and all that came out of his mouth was 'Daaaaaaa', but he couldn't help it. He should probably talk to his siblings again; the last thing he wanted was for them to become bullies.

"OK guys, lay off Ralph today, got it? The guy has to put up with enough."

Dot gave a quiet snort while Wakko muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'dumb'.

"I'm serious you two. He's not dumb. Ehhhhh…let's call him special."

"How about I start calling him Ed then?" Dot muttered.

Wakko started laughing while Yakko said, "Because you'll confuse him more Dot. Look, I know he's really…slow, but he tries to be friendly anyway. Give him a break huh?"

"All right," they both chorused agreeably, and Yakko had a feeling that they were both cooking up something new for the man. Last week, Wakko and Plucky had locked the poor shmuck in his guard shack by wedging the lock closed with a chunk of wood.

"Daaaaa, hi's yas Warners."

Yakko looked up to see Ralph leaning out of his guard shack, waving amicably at them.

"Hi Ralph," Yakko waved back, walking toward the guard. Looking behind him, he saw Wakko and Dot wave weakly at the guard, then slowly trudge after Yakko, looking grumpy.

He shrugged; being friendly for five minutes wouldn't kill them. Besides, he wanted to stay on the guard's good side; it was smart to have someone with some authority on his side. Sure, he didn't have the same clout as Bugs or Slappy, but any adult on their side was a plus.

"Youse off ta lunch?"

"We were," Wakko muttered.

"Yeah, just finished the first morning of shooting," Yakko replied, shooting Wakko a look before leaning against the shack and looking up into the wide face of the guard. "It went well."

"So, the thieves are gonna be big stars huh?"

_The hell?_

Yakko spun around, getting ready to snap at someone. Looking on the other side of the chain link fence, he groaned, first spotting a ridiculous bike, then an even more ridiculous figure in a tacky cape and stupid fedora.

_Darkwing Duck? You've got to be kidding me..._

"I's told you to stay off da fense Mr. Darkwing sir," Ralph said, frowning at the mallard.

"Actually, Mr. Security Guard, I'm on the sidewalk outside the property. It's public property, I can legally stand right here all day," Darkwing replied, giving Ralph a sneer before turning back to Yakko. "So, managed to escape justice hmmm?"

_Talk about the past coming back to haunt you…_

Yakko, momentarily in shock, stared back at the duck. "You seriously can't tell me you've been stalking around the gates of this studio for the last four months trying to catch a few kids?"

"Runaways and criminals. I know what you are; and when a criminal manages to escape-"

"Yakko?"

While Darkwing continued his spiel about justice and apprehending criminals, Yakko turned to look at Dot. Dot was looking up at him with a confused face. Beside her Wakko was apprehensively glancing from Darkwing to Yakko.

"Yakko? Why is he here? That's the stupid duck that chased us before. Why is he calling us crimi-"

"Because he's a moron Dot," Yakko jumped in quickly, cutting her off and walking toward her.

_What the hell was he doing here? Was crime so low that the duck had nothing to do besides stalk around after a pickpocket from over four months ago?_

"Moron am I? I know what you are Warner boy - you think I didn't recognize you from the posters?"

"What I'm more concerned about is the fact that you did remember us," Yakko retorted. "What's wrong? To afraid to go after the real criminals that you concentrate on a few kids instead. Some hero."

"Real criminals? Thieves, runaways, assault, breaking and entering? You think those aren't real crimes?"

Darkwing moved closer to the fence, and Ralph actually moved to stand in front of Yakko.

"Moves it along now Mr. Darkwing sir. We's want no problems with youse-"

"Shut up. They might have you fooled round boy, but not me. I know-"

"What you know wouldn't fill a shot glass," Yakko said stepping around Ralph to get near the fence. Wakko started to follow, but Ralph put a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place beside him. "What's wrong; need the three hundred dollar bounties our hides would bring in for a new cape? Maybe when you get one, you should try getting colors that match. Purple and fuchsia, tsk tsk."

"Better to buy one than steal one. You three would know plenty about that huh? Nothing but a trio of petty thieves and-"

"I'm no thief! And neither are they! Shut that big fat beak of yours!"

_Damn._

Yakko turned around to look at Dot. Chest heaving and teeth clenched, she was staring at Darkwing with her fists balled at her sides.

He had to get her out of here. Whenever he decided to talk to her about his and Wakko's former careers, he wanted it to be on his terms, not blurted out by some jerk on a public sidewalk. He quickly grabbed Dot's arm, holding her back as she began to stalk toward the fence.

"Take it back you sorry excuse-," she hissed.

"Awww. How precious." Darkwing turned to Yakko, smirking. "Need your baby sister to fight your battles Yakko?"

"I'd like to watch her fight it, since my five-year-old sister could no doubt verbally outwit you-"

"You little smart-mouthed ba-"

What Darkwing was going to say next was cut off as a pie came at him.

Yakko turned to look at Wakko. Ralph was still restraining him, actually holding him in the air by the collar of his shit. Wakko had somehow still managed to pull a pie out of his hammerspace and toss it at the fence. Most of the pie ended up on the fence or splashing him and Ralph, but enough got through the fence to at least splatter Darkwing.

"How childish," Darkwing yawned, wiping the yellow filling off his coat. "You must be the stupid one. Suppose I can't expect more out of some juvenile delinquents." Coming closer to the fence, he looked at the dangling Wakko. "I've got your number too. You think I don't know what part you played in that little scheme at the convention?"

"Piss off Dipshit Duck."

_Well, crude but colorful._

"Wakko! Oh never mind."

_This has gone on long enough._

Still holding Dot's arm, Yakko gave Darkwing a withering look. "This is pathetic. You come over here to verbally spar with a five, eight, and twelve year old-"

"And he loses, which is what's pathetic," Dot interrupted in a nasty tone. "What's wrong, GizmoDuck beat you at something again?"

Yakko watched as Darkwing directed his eyes toward her, and he quickly stepped in. If the man said anything to his sister, he just couldn't be held responsible for any carnage that resulted from that.

"Look, Dinkwing. Whatever you think any of us did can't have been too bad since no one's pressed any charges. Must mean we didn't do much. And we're legally here – I'm sure you know that since we seem to interest you so much. We even have a documentary coming on in May on the 'New Toon Review' channel - you should try to catch it. Now, if you don't mind, we have lunch to eat."

"Come out here and say that to my face you-you-puppy boy! You don't have the guts to say it to the terror that flaps in the-"

Yakko snorted. "No wonder I never watched your show. Bad fashion and strained one liners-"

"Bad fashion? Look at the outfit you're wearing!"

"The difference being, I can make anything look good," Yakko replied. "Besides, mine is a costume only; I don't wear it outside of the show. You though..."

Yakko gave up and started laughing.

_Why bother?_

"I'm leaving, the criminal element of the city doesn't rest while I hunt up miscreants. When I see you off lot I'll run your scrawny butts in so fast-"

"For what?"

_This guy's unbelievable..._

"We don't leave the lot without a chaperone you dip. Take your Snidley Whiplash lines and go find some real crime." Yakko shrugged. "Who knows; you may find a bigger criminal than us-"

"Yeah, you could catch some poor sap with a break light out Mr. Superhero," Dot said, still struggling against Yakko.

Yakko tried to tighten his grip on her; for a five-year-old, she had some strength to her. Must be all those dancing lessons.

"Just wait, I'll enjoy running your little butt in too-"

Angered, Yakko briefly put his fist to his mouth. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Threatening them, especially his siblings?

"Look you has-been, don't talk to her-"

"Has- been!" The duck screamed at him.

Yakko almost took a step back; he looked like he was going to climb the fence and attack him.

He knew the duck had a huge ego though; according to Slappy, when the mallard's series was not renewed, he had gone into a spiral of depression until some jackass told him he would be a great addition to the 'TTF' - Toon Task Force. They worked in conjunction with local police and TIS, rounding up everything from runaways to murderers. Which was probably how Darkwing had recognized them when he initially began to pursue them.

Slappy had wrinkled her nose, stating that Darkwing was nothing but a brightly colored bounty hunter. Then she said she'd like to shove a bomb so far up his thick feathered-

The squirrel had cut off there, stating something about how she'd lose her chaperone rights if she finished that statement. With Wakko and Dot around anyway; she promised to tell him about it later when they were alone.

He loved Slappy - the squirrel pulled no punches. But she was right; Darkwing had a very strong sense of self-admiration. And that would probably be the quickest way to get rid of him. Hopefully for good.

"I know your not filming any additional episodes of that crap-tacular series of yours - you're being played in syndication. I read the papers too buddy. Now, you want to talk to someone, talk to me."

"When I get my hands on you-"

"Never gonna happen - I'm younger, more talented, and have less ego to haul around with me. Now, you'll see us off the lot quite a bit. But, you won't be able to do anything but watch us. Unless you'd like to take on Bugs? Or maybe Slappy? I know she's got a bit of a reputation – throws a mean bomb. And she said something about having a thing for ducks...likes to watch the feathers fly..."

Yakko trailed off and grinned at the sour look Darkwing threw his way. He disliked name-dropping on the duck, preferring to fight his own battles, but in this case, he'd make an exception. Hell, Slappy would probably be thrilled for the mention though.

Ralph, their large, dim-witted would be savoir, handed Wakko to Yakko. He quickly took his brother's arm before he tried to charge out of the fence at the annoyed duck.

"Let it go Wak, it's definitely not worth it."

"Just one mallet hit! Come one – please?" Wakko begged.

Rolling his eyes, Yakko turned to talk to Ralph as Darkwing called them a couple more names than headed toward his bike.

"Daaaaa, I don't likes him much. He's a big bully – and mean too."

"Ehhhhhh…Well said Ralph," Yakko said, trying not to get too annoyed with the guard. The guy tried. And something about Darkwing just got under his skin. He'd probably be crotchety the rest of the afternoon because of him.

"Hes come by a few times since you guys came. He's looking for youse three."

"I don't know if I should be flattered or frightened," Yakko said, turning to look at the duck again as he drove off.

"Yakko, I don't understand! What does he want with us? It's why he chased us before isn't it? What did we do to him? Why did he say that Wakko-"

_Forgot about that._

"Look Dot, we'll talk about that later OK?"

_A lot later._

"You always say-"

"Not always. Come on; let's get something to eat before we have to go to classes."

"But Yakko, he said he saw-"

"Wakko, Darkwing can't see anything past his big fat ego. Don't worry about what he claims to know or not know, OK? Let's eat; talking to idiots by the gate always gets me hungry."

"How come you're not hungry every time you talk to Ralph then?" Dot muttered.

Yakko chose to ignore that comment even as Wakko started laughing. He had other things to concern himself with.

As they said goodbye to Ralph, his mind was already running, wondering if he needed to be concerned.

Darkwing appeared to be stalking them, which was in and of itself a little creepy. A grown man, stalking three children around. Granted, they had been wanted children, but no longer. They had studio protection; he had a certified copy of the _Guardian Ad Slavus _signed by the judge in ToonTown to prove it.

He had mentioned Darkwing to Bugs once awhile ago, when they were talking about how the Warners had first blundered onto the studio lot. The rabbit had not mentioned the theft, but had brought up the mallard and stated he thought he was one of the biggest jerks presently in the toon community. Bugs had also said that Darkwing had an ego so huge the gravitational pull of it could affect the tides.

Darkwing was a pompous ass, nothing more. All beak and no bite. Yakko decided to dismiss him for now; he couldn't come on the lot. They couldn't be grabbed if they were out with a chaperone. They were safe, and there wasn't a damn thing that dippy duck could do about it.

He glanced down at his two siblings. They both knew that leaving the lot would bring swift and painful punishment down on them. Neither of them was that foolhardy they would risk leaving without a chaperone.

Yakko changed his mind. He would dismiss the duck, but be aware of the threat. Who knew what that guy could start?

Meanwhile, there was other things to occupy his day with; food, class, then back on set. He almost wanted to thank Darkwing; if the dipstick hadn't decided to chase his brother, they would never have ended up at the studio. They'd probably be sitting under a bridge somewhere plotting their next theft or reading a map wondering where to go next.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 24, 1993

"Wakko, do something!"

Almost growling she was so mad, Dot glared at her brother lying back on the couch. Yakko was right; it was an ugly couch. Her lump of a brother wasn't improving the looks of it either.

"Gimme a minute – gotta headache," he mumbled. Wakko placed his right arm over his eyes.

"You are a headache. Come on, Yakko said we couldn't leave unless we get these lines memorized and sitting on your rear end isn't going to help us."

"Uh huh..."

She huffed in annoyance at his moan. Wakko usually wasn't this bad. Sure, he could be a little lazy at times when it came to his schoolwork, but he always learned the lines for whatever script they were working on. They already had four and a half shorts and episodes filmed. It would be five if she and Wakko had learned their lines well enough to have finished the filming yesterday.

This last week he'd been terrible though. Half asleep, mumbling, singing off key, screwing up assignments…

He's probably still mad about that script. When one of the script writers had done a rewrite and handed it back to them, Wakko now had a 'gag bag'. When they had got back to the tower last week and he had read it, Wakko had almost gone through the roof. She smiled when she remembered the blow up; Wakko had demanded to know 'what the hell this gag bag bullshit was'.

Then Yakko had almost joined him in going through the roof.

After a ten minute argument in which Wakko had stated he was going to look like some retard that couldn't access his hammerspace and Yakko had pointed out he was going to look even more retarded if his tail had a knot tied in it, Wakko had grudgingly learned the script.

But he wasn't happy. And right now, neither was she.

She sent a glare at her brother. He was just mad because his rabbit friend got himself grounded and he couldn't spend the weekend at his house again. He had wanted to stay at that loudmouth's house instead, but Yakko wouldn't let him. He couldn't; no chaperone.

She frowned; both she and Wakko were currently confined to the tower until they learned these lines, and apparently Wakko had gone on a mini-strike. Yakko had gotten tired of listening to them argue with each other, and when that bushy-tailed squirrel had called and said she was going to have coffee in the cafeteria with Brain the giant-headed mouse, he had left them with instructions to learn the lines and not to even think about leaving the tower, turning on the television or doing anything else fun.

She rolled her eyes; it just wasn't fair. Wakko goofed off, so how could she learn her lines if he wasn't there? Yakko didn't understand sometimes.

Well, maybe he did. Usually a smile, a flash of dimple, her big dark eyes batting at him and a bit of pleading could get Yakko to overlook most anything she did – or in this case didn't – do. Could she have learned the lines without Wakko? Of course she could have. She just didn't see the need to if Wakko wasn't going to cooperate.

Yakko unfortunately didn't buy that. It had to be her tail; she had to stop twitching it when she was trying to pull one over on him.

And they were supposed to be going to watch the filming of one of their co-stars. One was a stupid dog, and she could care less about him. But the cat...The cat could sing so beautifully. Dot liked her own voice well enough, and other people seemed to like it too, but she thought it was too squeaky and high. If she could sing like Rita, she'd basically never stop.

OK, she had to think. Wakko was obviously being stubborn, and her demanding route wasn't working. So, she needed to try something different.

_The kind, loving, adoring younger sister might work._

"Wakko...please read these with me? Just one time? I'll learn them so much better if I practice with you…"

_Is he...Is he ignoring me? How dare he?_

"Oh Wakko?"

_Maybe being super sweet would help..._

"Wakko, my beloved big brother..."

_Blackmail! That would work!_

Wakko didn't want to get grounded again. He sulked about that for two days. His own fault though; Yakko really had a cow when he swore. Sort of sad though; Wakko had a wide variety of swear words he could pull out, most of them funny.

"I won't tell about you and that puke-green duck sneaking over to the filming of the Hip Hippos, stealing all the junk food from the catering cart and replacing it with Weight Watchers stuff. You two made that pink hippo cry..."

_Still nothing...was he dead?_

Stomping her foot, she yelled, "Wakko! Get up! Now! Read!"

"Minute…kay…"

She tramped over, hitting him in the head with her script. He ignored her, one arm still resting over his eyes, the other dangling over the edge of the couch.

_Yakko has a rule about swearing. Which is stupid. Wakko could make a Care Bear swear. _

_Stupid, stubborn…_

She grabbed the front of his denim jacket and tried shaking him. That got her nowhere. He was so lazy now he didn't even bother to fight her off; he just flopped around. She tried hitting him with the script again.

_Sloths have more motivation…_

Grumbling loudly, she let go of his jacket, put the script on top of the television and went into their kitchen, trying to stomp her feet as loud as she could on the red and white tiled floor. She'd get him up.

Pulling a chair over to the sink, she climbed on the seat and grabbed a glass sitting on the counter. Filling it with water, she carefully climbed back down, grinning to herself. Wakko wanted to act like he was asleep; she'd wake him up. She wasn't going to miss watching the filming of the short because he was being a jerk.

Walking much more quietly into the living room, she crept to the couch. Wakko hadn't moved. That wasn't unusual; once he went to sleep, he was pretty well out.

"Oh Wakko…" Getting no response, she shrugged and said, "I gave you fair warning…"

Taking the glass, she poured the contents onto his head, already laughing in anticipation of her furious brother jumping off the couch howling and swearing and threatening to tell on her. Not that she cared much; in order to get her in trouble, he'd have to admit to slacking off himself. Even Wakko wasn't that dumb.

She stopped laughing after a few seconds; Wakko hadn't moved much. She heard him mutter 'stop' and 'wet'. He shifted on the couch then stopped moving again.

She felt the grin slowly melting from her face. Wakko should have been yelling like a scalded cat. Instead he was continuing to sleep. Frowning, she felt a bit of worry starting to tinge in with her annoyance. Either Wakko was getting ready to jump off the couch hollering and try to tickle her, or something was really wrong with him.

Feeling her tail tip twitching despite trying to still it, she dropped the glass on the carpet and walked around the rest of the couch to her soggy brother.

Shaking him, she said loudly, "Wakko? Wakko come on! It wasn't funny before; it's really not funny now! Come on you're scaring me!"

_He's not moving; he's not being a jerk, he's really sick and I'm the only one here…oh crap what am I supposed to do?_

Mind reeling, she put her palm to her forehead. Panicking wasn't going to solve anything. She needed help. Well, Wakko did.

Wasn't that just like her brothers? Yakko goes off to have coffee with Slappy and that stupid big headed mouse in the cafeteria while he waited for them to work out their differences and get the script memorized. Wakko takes that opportunity to up and faint on her.

_Boys._

_Lisa._

Why didn't she think of it before? Lisa was a nurse! She'd know what to do. And Lisa had given Dot her cell phone number so she could call whenever she had a question or wanted to talk to a girl. Lisa said brothers could get on your nerves after awhile; all boys would.

She wasn't kidding.

"Hold on Wakko - I'm getting help OK?"

Hearing Wakko mumble something she glanced over at him with fearful eyes before running into her bedroom.

Pulling out her little pink jewelry box, she flipped open the top. The little ballerina sprung up and began to dance and she blinked back the tears that were starting to form. Wakko had brought that back for her and she just dumped a cup of water on his head and yelled at him.

Fingers trembling, she fumbled through the papers and ribbons in the box, finally pulling out the little blue piece of paper with Lisa's phone number on it.

Dumping the box on her bed she sprinted back into the kitchen, pulling the chair from the sink over to the wall. Jumping up onto the chair, she grabbed the phone and dialed the number, willing her fingers to stop trembling so she could dial.

It went to voice mail; it kept going to voice mail every time she dialed the number.

Scared and choking back a sob, she tried several more times. Finally she gave up; Lisa would have answered if she was able to by now.

_Now what?_

She couldn't call 911 - they couldn't leave the lot without a chaperone. If that stupid duck was lurking around, he'd grab Wakko before her brother could get to the hospital. She couldn't take that chance.

The guard shack had a phone, but she didn't know the number, not to mention all Ralph would probably do would be to say 'Daaaaaaa? Sick Warners? Daaaaa?' She snorted; that idiot would be less than worthless. He'd actually get in the way.

She looked toward the couch, then toward the tower door.

Didn't matter how much trouble she got in, she had to get help. Preferably Yakko; he'd know what to do; he always knew what to do.

Running to the couch, she went to look at Wakko one more time. He was breathing funny; really deep, but he seemed OK, at least for now. If she hurried.

Steeling her nerves, she then ran to the tower door, using every ounce of her strength to open it. Stepping onto the landing, she swallowed, looking down. She wasn't afraid of heights, not really, but she always had Yakko with her, and he always Fritzed her a parachute and watched to make sure she didn't fall. Now though, it was just her.

By herself. Alone. No big brother looking out for her now; and it was a long way down.

But Wakko needed help. As much as a pain as he could be, she wasn't going to let him lay there sick and hurt - what sort of sister would that make her?

Swallowing, she spun around and began to carefully descend the ladder. She never realized how far apart the rungs were until now.

Feeling sick to her stomach, she continued to slowly back down the ladder. She wanted to go faster, and started to, but then stopped herself. If she fell, no one would be able to help Wakko because no one would know something was wrong. They would just see her, a pink and black splot on the lot. Hopefully she'd still be a cute pink and black splot.

Trying to push back her nervous laugh at her own joke, she finally reached the bottom, and almost felt her knees give out she was so relieved.

Hopefully Yakko wouldn't kill her. She was pretty sure she wouldn't look that cute if she was strangled.

_Now, to get to the cafeteria and find one brother to help save the other._

XXXXXXXXXX

_What the hell was taking this doctor so long? He knew people were out in the room waiting, wondering, worrying…_

Running his hand through his hair nervously, Yakko leaned back in the uncomfortable plastic padded chair in the waiting room.

_Damn chairs in the isolation room were more comfortable than this._

He looked down in his lap, not wanting to think about that place right now. Dot had pretty much stopped crying but she looked awful. Her nose was still running slightly and her eyes were rimmed in red from sobbing so much.

"Here bubala, wipe your nose. The bubbling mucus sound is making me ill."

Dot looked up at Slappy, sitting to his right. Yakko sent the squirrel a grateful smile. Thank god she had been there and was willing to drive them to the hospital.

When Dot had come running into the cafeteria, screaming his name and knocking people over in her haste to find him, he figured that one of three things had happened. The tower had fallen, Wakko had finally carried through on his threat to put worms in her bed, or she was actively looking to get into trouble and beat out Wakko's record.

She had performed a rather fantastic leap, jumping over a small cat toon and landing in the middle of a table where several film editors were taking a break. They sent nasty looks toward her as she jumped again, landing near his table.

Slappy had clapped, impressed. He had shaken his head, wondering which sibling he should kill first. Then he noticed that there was only one sibling.

When Dot had gotten to him, she had sprung in his lap, grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and burst into tears, wailing the words _'Wakko', 'water', _and _'dead'_ in his ear.

Wondering if Wakko had managed to drown himself in the bathtub, he had asked Slappy to stay with the sobbing ball of fur that was his sister and sprinted toward the tower.

Climbing the ladder in record time, he dashed in, wondering what Wakko had done this time. Spying his sluggish brother on the couch, he quickly went to check on him and wondered why he was half soaked.

Not getting much response other than a couple of groans from calling his name, shaking him or picking him up, he felt panic starting to well up in him. What was wrong with him? Usually Wakko was bouncing around like a damn ball; now he was acting like he'd overdosed on Nyquil.

He quickly ran back to the tower door, still holding Wakko. That pinhead shrink was a doctor - not a very good one if his opinion counted for anything - but still, he might know what's wrong with him. If not, he was a chaperone; he could get them to a more qualified physician.

Reaching the landing, he looked down and forgot someone else that was a chaperone - Slappy - and she was already standing at the foot of the tower, a terrified looking Dot beside her.

He debated on jumping down to the ground holding Wakko, but decided against it. While his skills were enough he knew he could do the jump, he usually didn't, preferring to climb the ladder still. If he slipped, he could still Chuck.

Now though, he had one arm full of sibling. He was also panicked and scared, despite his trying to calm down. If he tried to jump he could very easily bungle it, at the very least he could seriously injure himself and Wakko, who obviously didn't need any additional problems right now.

_OK…Firemen did it…_

Taking a deep breath and balancing Wakko over his shoulder, he quickly and carefully began to back down the ladder, keeping his left hand on Wakko's waist and using his right hand to hold onto the rungs, sometimes using his tail to help grasp as well. He breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the ground, where Slappy immediately ordered him to her car.

Surprised, relieved and happy someone was thinking more clearly than he currently was, he followed her to her vehicle; a candy-apple red Ford Mustang LX. For some reason, with Slappy he wasn't the least bit surprised. Dot trotted beside him, taking big gasping breaths to keep from crying any more than she already was.

They got to Good Samaritan Hospital in record time; it was the closest hospital that had a toon ward. Slappy may have been an old lady; it didn't mean she drove like one.

Taking the turn out of the lot like Mario Andretti, she almost ran over Ralph, his guard shack, and a group of tourists. Speeding onto I-5 south like she had stolen the vehicle, they managed to make a twenty minute drive in slightly less than fifteen. By the time they got to the hospital, Yakko was pretty sure Wakko wasn't the only one who would need medical attention. He was pretty sure he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown; Dot was cowering in the small back seat whimpering.

He snorted – Dot should have been relieved. She wasn't tall enough to see out the windows, especially the windshield. He was though; he'd never forget Slappy running the red light on Wilshire Boulevard and a large tractor trailer hauling live chickens turning directly in front of them.

She claimed the light was yellow. When he stated the light had been as red as the nose on his face, she changed her story and stated that the yellow bulb was still warm, so it was OK.

Upon their screeching arrival at Good Samaritan Hospital, Slappy had hustled them inside and up to the emergency room desk. The arrival of an almost comatose toonboy got two triage nurses running, one human and one Afghan hound toon. Snatching Wakko from him, they had placed him on a gurney and rolled him off, ordering him, Slappy and Dot to sit in the waiting room.

That had to have been hours ago. Yakko looked at his watch; it had only been twenty-five minutes.

"Relax Yakko. Your brother's probably already awake and terrorizing the hospital staff," Slappy said, tapping him on the shoulder. "I need to make a phone call; Skippy's gonna need someone to feed his face tonight."

Yakko frowned but nodded. That was one of the bad things about requiring someone to go off lot with them. He disliked disrupting someone else's life because of them. Slappy and Bernie both were parents or guardians; they had other obligations. Even the others; Bugs, Porky, that dink of a shrink – they had lives outside of escorting them around.

There was nothing to be done about it; it was just irritating at times. He was still glad she was there though.

Watching her shuffle off toward the other side of the room where a courtesy phone sat on a small table, he looked down at Dot. She was considerably calmer now, though still sniffing and clutching the Kleenex that Slappy had handed her.

"I yelled at him Yakko. I yelled at him when he wouldn't wake up and-"

"Well, think of it this way – at least he doesn't know you yelled at him."

Apparently trying to make her laugh wasn't the best idea; she looked like she was going to start crying again. Bowing her head into his chest, he felt her shoulders starting to shake as a fresh burst of sobs escaped from her.

"Dot, look at me. No, at my face, not my chest; you're getting my shirt wet. Come on, you did good. You didn't know he was sick-"

_I didn't either; how could I not know? He'd been acting weird…Some guardian._

"-and you did great; you might have saved his life."

_God I hope it's not that serious…_

Sniffing and lip trembling, she mumbled, "I didn't do that great. I tried to call Lisa but she didn't answer and then I didn't know who else to call that could help him and I thought-"

Yakko decided to cut her off. She did what she could; more than what anyone had a right to expect out of a five-year-old. And right now, he felt it was more than he had done. He had left them.

"Didn't do that great? You were really brave."

Dot looked at him, giving him a small smile through her tears.

"Really?"

Yakko nodded. "Really - I'm proud of you sibling."

That always seemed to make her and Wakko happy, when he said that. Right now he would have told her the moon was blue if it would cheer her up. Seeing her this upset and scared wasn't helping him any.

_And what's taking this damned doctor so long?_

Shaking his head, he continued. "Most little girls would have curled up in the corner, cried and sucked their thumb while waiting for someone else to come along and fix things. Not my sis though." He leaned down so they were nose to nose. "You thought it out, tried the wisest course available, and you had a backup plan. You even went down the ladder by yourself."

Something that would give him nightmares for awhile. He repressed a shudder; Wakko half unconscious with some mystery illness and Dot potentially crashing down to Earth in her quest to save him. He was going to have grey hair before he was fifteen.

"I didn't have a choice, especially after I was so mean to him…" she trailed off before wailing, "I dumped a cup of water on his head!"

She shoved her face back into his shirt and Yakko sighed, rubbing her back and resigned to having a soggy shirt the rest of the day.

"Dot, did you know that he was sick? That something was actually wrong with him and he wasn't just being a pain?"

She shook her head.

"OK, so don't worry about it. You didn't dump water on him after you knew he was sick. You sprang into action then." He gave a wry laugh. "If I had been there, I might have dumped a cup of water on his head myself."

"I'll never be mean to him again, I promise if he wakes up-"

"When he wakes up," he stressed. He did not want to hear the word 'if'. "He'll be up before you know it; just watch. Wakko's a Warner right? He'll bounce back from this, and we'll be watching TV and eating ice cream laughing about this before you know it."

How could he have left them like that? Not only Wakko, but Dot too? She must have been terrified. She handled it well, but still, that sort of fear, probably almost the same terror he was feeling now, though he was trying to keep it pushed down so as not to alarm her more than necessary.

Wakko had been off the last few days. Yakko had chalked it up to being tired and didn't pursue it when Wakko continuously said he was fine. He was inwardly cursing himself; he saw something wrong, and rather than pushing the issue he had let it go.

Then to leave them…what had he been thinking? Sure, they had been acting up a bit, but it was the weekend and neither of them wanted to stay in the tower longer than necessary on such a nice day. He had thought it might reinforce the lesson - learn the lines; it was their job after all. Not to mention their constant arguing had been driving him up the wall.

He should have stayed in there with them, watched them…

He was being too hard on himself, he knew that. Wakko, other than continuing his argument with Dot about who the hell knew what, had been fine when he left. And he had been gone less than thirty minutes when Dot came tearing into the cafeteria. She just missed Brain too; he had left barely five minutes before her arrival. Something about having to check on Pinky, who was liable to hurt himself if left to his own devices too long.

"Here kid, drink this; it'll make you feel better. It's not gonna make you feel worse anyway."

Yakko looked up at Slappy, amusement and concern mixing together on her face. She was trying to hand him a soda of some sort. She was currently knocking back a Diet Pepsi.

Taking the soda with a nod of thanks, he handed it down to Dot. They'd probably both need the caffeine; he had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

End Chapter 17


	18. Chapter 18

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lately, several people have sent me messages (or left requests in my review section) that they would like to 'borrow' things from my story for their own story. I ask that you not 'borrow' any elements of my story. It took a lot of time and research to create this entire thing; I would really like my ideas to stay mine. Thanks for understanding.**

Chapter 18 - Lifestyle Changes

Hypoglycemia. Polyphagia. Glucose. Ketoacidosis. Beta Cells

He wasn't sure he could spell half these things, let alone know what they meant.

Yakko stared in dismay at the pamphlets in his hand, feeling Dot grasping the waist of his pants and dimly hearing her asking questions. He couldn't even look down at her; he wasn't sure he could move. He certainly couldn't answer any questions right now; he had too many of his own.

Beside him in the brightly lit office they had been escorted to, he could feel Slappy and a recently arrived Bugs shifting beside him. They had been talking, and he knew he had rudely snapped at them once or twice, but he wasn't able to remember what he'd said. He honestly hadn't said much of anything; a bit out of character for him, but he figured he had a good excuse.

When he had been called back to speak to Doctor Whipple, he had been hoping that all the doctor wanted to do was speak to him briefly about Wakko, tell him he was OK, and they could take him home. He had been wishing for that so strongly that when the doctor had begun to speak about low blood sugar and insulin and glucose measurements, he had told the doctor he obviously had the wrong Warner, he should check his paperwork again.

It was possible wasn't it? Warner was a common enough surname and there were quite a few people, both humans and toons in the hospital. Yakko relaxed slightly; it was just a mistake, a paperwork snafu.

Doctor Whipple, after informing him that there was no mistake and Wakko was indeed the Warner he was talking about, had been kind enough to drop about twenty different pieces of literature in his lap to get him started on his way to understanding what had happened, what was going to happen, and how they should handle it. Then the doctor had picked his brain for half an hour, wanting to review their family medical history, of which Yakko knew precious little.

Unfortunately he couldn't see Wakko yet; they were still conducting tests and talking to him. That was the only thing that Yakko had heard that was positive; if they were talking to him, Wakko was awake. The doctor had actually left to go check and make sure he was stabilized; if he was, he would be allowed to have visitors for awhile. He was going to have to stay at least overnight though, so they could continue to monitor him, get some information for Yakko regarding counseling and pediatric toon doctors and supplies they would need to keep handy.

Diabetes. Daily insulin shots the rest of his life.

Mind still numb from the news, he tried to ignore the hundred of questions running through his mind. How the hell did Wakko draw the genetic short-straw?

Why didn't he notice anything before now; wasn't he supposed to know these things? He started going through memories; Wakko usually had a headache when he woke in the morning, but it usually went away. He always had a decent appetite unless he was sick. Their diet wasn't the healthiest one around, especially when they were living on the streets.

Yakko inwardly reeled; was he responsible for this? Was their past life the cause for this? Did he make his brother ill? Would it affect Dot too? Maybe he should have her tested; himself as well.

Looking at the other symptoms, Wakko actually had very few of them. Maybe this was a mistake after all. Really, diabetes in an eight-year-old? Wasn't that unheard of?

"This is my fault isn't it?" he muttered to himself. "I missed some clue or sign and now he's sick-"

"Look doc, it's nobody's fault and diabetes isn't the end of the world."

Yakko spun around to look at Bugs before the sentence was fully out of the rabbit's mouth. He had been dimly aware when the others had wandered back into the room with them, but had mostly ignored them.

"Not the end of the world? It's diabetes!" Yakko snapped, angered. "It's deadly! He's going to-"

"Be fine," Bugs said, looking concerned. "It can be controlled, if diagnosed and treatment begins early enough. Your lives will change a little bit but-"

"Deadly? Yakko, I don't understand what-"

"Just be quiet for now Dot, OK?" he asked, finally glancing down at her. Seeing tears spring to her eyes, he felt like a jerk for snapping at her. It wasn't her fault, and she was just confused. He'd apologize and explain it to her. Later. When he could understand it himself.

Turning back to Bugs, he said, "This is serious! How the hell did this happen to him? He's only eight - eight-year-olds aren't supposed to get it! He doesn't deserve this!"

Bugs put a hand on his shoulder which he shook off, fuming at the rabbit. He put his left fist briefly to his mouth, hoping his little quirk would help keep his mouth shut long enough before he said something he really regretted. But how insensitive could Bugs be? How dare he act like this was no big deal?

"But it does happen Yakko, even to kids. Juvenile diabetes happens more often than it should; no one deserves it - at any age."

Slappy, who had been uncharacteristically silent during the short exchange, finally stepped forward to look into Yakko's face.

"Yakko, look, I know this is a big shock. But Bugs is right, it's been caught early, he can start getting the medicine he needs. Diabetes isn't a death sentence-"

"Yeah, how would you know?"

Slappy shrugged. "I have it, you don't see me keeling over do you bubulah?"

"You're old, it's supposed to happen to you."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted it; Bugs was right, no one deserved it.

She was trying to help. Hell, so was Bugs; the rabbit had come from his house as soon as Slappy had made the phone call to him to inform him that they were at the hospital. Here he was taking his anger out on them; he wasn't even sure who he should be angry with. It wasn't their fault anymore than it was Dot's.

He saw a flash of annoyance on Bugs' face at his comment, or so he thought. He had yet to actually see annoyance or anger on his face; he wasn't sure the rabbit got annoyed or angered. Slappy to her credit didn't seem to be offended at all; if anything, she looked halfway amused.

"Thanks for pointing that out to me." Exchanging a quick look with Bugs she added, "Look, I'm gonna take Dot for a few minutes, go wander around to-"

Dot, sniffing, said, "I don't want to leave! I want to know what's wrong with Wakko!"

"Nah, come with me Dot. I'm old, I'll need the help. We can go annoy the cafeteria staff by asking them exactly what's in the gloop they're trying to pass off as edible down there."

The old squirrel held out her left hand to Dot, who briefly looked at it before glancing up into his face. Judging from the look on her face he must have looked horrible because she swallowed and finally took Slappy's hand.

Watching them slowly walk out the door, Slappy's cane making a soft tapping sound on the shiny white linoleum, Yakko rolled his eyes. He'd probably just alienated two people; the squirrel who was trying to help and his scared younger sister. He just couldn't do anything right-

"All right doc, let's chat for a second. Have a seat."

Yakko briefly looked at Bugs, who had gone to the small table in the middle of the room and pulled a chair out. He ignored the rabbit's request, dismissed him from his mind actually, and continued to think.

His mother and father were alcoholics - shouldn't they have this disease? One of the little booklets in his hand said alcoholics frequently got it. Would anyone else in the family have it? That would be characteristic of his damned father, to never mention it, so they would have no idea that this could hit him in the face and-

"Yakko. Sit. Now."

Yakko snapped his head up. From the look on Bugs' face, he gathered that the rabbit had been speaking to him for a few minutes and he just hadn't heard him.

"I don't need to sit Bugs. Right now I want to-"

"Right now I want you to sit down, so why don't you just do it?" When Yakko didn't move, just blinked at him, Bugs added, "Just do it doc; I can be really persuasive if you want me to be, but you probably wouldn't like it."

Yakko looked at the rabbit's face; no, he probably wouldn't like it. For once the rabbit looked serious, and this day had been enough of a nightmare. Getting malleted by his mentor; wouldn't that just be the topper?

"Fine fine, you don't need to issue orders Bugs-"

"Apparently I do, since you're not listening."

"I didn't ask you to come down here you know," he muttered, flopping in the proffered chair, the same hard unyielding plastic kind from the waiting room they had spent the last hour and a half in. "I coulda handled this myself-"

"I know you coulda you stubborn brat. I came down anyway though," Bugs snapped back at him.

Yakko, speechless, blinked at him. _Brat? Who did Bugs think he was talking to?_

"Don't look at me like that doc; you deserved it," Bugs said, looking into his face and chuckling. "Slappy and Dot are gone now, so you want to get angry and yell at someone, do it to me. It'll be safer for ya. My skin's a lot thicker than a five-year-olds and I'm not as likely to put a bomb down your shirt as Slappy. Though I have to say she took your little comment a lot better than I would have."

"Yeah, sure, I'll apologize later," Yakko said, glancing down at the literature he had been gripping tightly in his hand. "Right now I've got more important things on my mind."

"Like what?"

_Jesus, hadn't he been paying attention?_

"You been in the same room with me Bunny? Didn't you just hear that entire conversation?"

Bugs leaned back in the chair and shrugged. "Yeah, I heard it; I heard the doctor telling you that Wakko's OK right now, and that your brother's going to need a lot of support from you for awhile while he gets used to this new issue in his life. Then I heard you going through denial, then disbelief, then guilt…I'm guessing you're in the anger stage right now. So get angry; I'm here, and I'm willing to listen to whatever you want to get off your chest."

"I don't need a counselor right now-"

Yakko grumbled in annoyance as the rabbit jumped back in, cutting him off. Couldn't he finish a sentence today before someone jumped in to give their unwanted opinion?

"You don't have a counselor right now, but you have me - or don't I count for anything?"

Yakko glanced at the rabbit and groaned to himself. The rabbit looked sort of hurt. Yakko felt a bit of guilt about the way he had treated him; Slappy and Dot too. This was going to be a major change in their lives, and the two older toons were down there with them, with him, trying to help him cope. He was acting like a total ass to them, something neither of them deserved; Bugs didn't have to come down at all. With Bugs here, Slappy didn't have to stay.

He finally sighed; the rabbit was right, like he usually was.

"Look, I'm sorry Bugs, really - you don't deserve any attitude - thanks for coming down. I'm just so angry right now-"

Bugs interrupted him again. "At who? Wakko? Dot? How about me? Maybe it's our fault?"

"No," Yakko said quietly, "It's mine. I'm the one that should have noticed something was wrong, and I missed all these symptoms." Holding a sheet of paper up so Bugs could see, he continued, "Look at this list! Wakko had a few of these symptoms! And I missed them!"

Bugs squinted at the list for a moment, then spoke. "You didn't know to look for it did you? Did either of your parents ever mention it?"

Yakko shook his head, fist placed to his mouth.

"Then how would you know that your brother's craving for sweets was nothing more than the typical eight-year-old's desire to eat as much candy as possible? Or if he woke up with a headache it was because his blood sugar levels were out of whack? Be honest Yakko, before today, did you ever hear of Hypoglycemia?"

Again, Yakko was forced to answer in the negative. He still wasn't sure he could spell it.

"So how would you have known? You can't pull a crystal ball out of your hammerspace. Well, you could, but they never work. Trust me Yakko, this isn't your fault. Wakko caught a set of bad genes, that's all. I'm not saying it'll be easy, and it's definitely a concern and something that will have to be watched, but it's not the end of his life, or yours. This can be controlled."

Yakko looked at him. "Yeah, controlled, great. Not cured, there's no cure is there? He misses an insulin dose, or messes up and eats too much pizza with his friends, he's going to be screwed isn't he?" Yakko sighed, noticing that he was now angry and depressed. "He'll never be a normal kid."

"Why do you say that? He's the same kid that he was four hours ago; whether that was normal or not is hard to say. But there's no reason for him not to do all the things the so-called normal kids do. And you won't be doing him any favors if you treat him like he's abnormal either. He's still the same rambunctious younger brother he always was; you'll just have to help him with a new problem that's come up until he's old enough and responsible enough to take care of it on his own. Isn't that what you've always done?"

Yakko nodded slowly. Looked at from that viewpoint, he supposed it was true. Wakko was going to need him calm and rational, not a bitter emotional depressed jerk. He had wanted to see him before; he had demanded to see him at one point and been denied.

Slappy had grabbed his arm, holding him back from malleting the doctor and charging off down the hall at one point. Might have been why he snapped at her.

Perhaps it was good he hadn't been able to see him at that time; if he was being irrational, the only thing he would do would be to upset Wakko further. He was probably already confused and scared enough.

Not to mention Dot. How was he supposed to explain all this to her? From the sounds of it, she very likely did save his life.

But while she realized that Wakko was sick, would she understand when he sat down to explain it to her? Would she grasp that Wakko had to check his glucose several times a day, and why he was injecting himself with insulin, and why Wakko sometimes wouldn't be able to eat the same stuff she was? Or that this may happen again - that she may see her brother passed out on the couch because he didn't take into account he got too much exercise and didn't compensate with additional snacks and she would have to live through this whole thing again?

"I'm never going to be able to explain this to Dot. I'm not sure Wakko's going to understand what's happening." Yakko gave a hollow sounding laugh. "I'm not sure if I understand what's happening."

"He's got support; so do you and Dot, whenever you want or need it," Bugs said, stepping in before Yakko could continue. "We're not pushing ourselves on you, but we're here when you need us. And not just me and Slappy; Foghorn was going to come down here too. I told him not to - we get to many people down here it's going to get too crowded."

_Or I'll feel like I'm under attack,_ Yakko thought. _Wakko will be happy to hear that though; he adores Foghorn._

Yakko, not liking the bitter tone to his voice muttered, "I didn't even think toons could get diabetes."

Bugs shrugged. "Course we can, we can get a lot of the diseases that the humans get; our blink has blood mixed in. We got the same parts that a human has, right? Some of the diseases affect us toons a little differently, but essentially it's all the same."

Yakko snorted. Why was he down here? He just wanted to be left alone; no he didn't, he wasn't sure what he wanted. He just felt so helpless and overwhelmed at the moment.

Bugs was still talking. "You can be angry if you want to Yakko, but be angry at the disease, not anyone else. It'll just make you bitter and depressed, and trust me doc, you're too happy a toon to deal well with those feelings long."

_Be angry at the disease._

Yes, he supposed he could do that. Maybe the three of them could be angry at the disease together. It sure would beat snapping at each other or being depressed. Not to mention, they wouldn't go through this alone; Bugs and Slappy had already shown their true colors, not only by coming with them or showing up as soon as they got the news, but both sticking around to offer their support.

"Thanks Bugs," he said. Feeling stupid about his prior behavior, he reached over and gave the rabbit a quick hug.

After a surprised second, the rabbit returned it, muttering 'Anytime doc' in his ear.

Leaning back into his own chair and hoping he hadn't just made himself look like a total wuss, he began to thumb through the information with Bugs. Being friends with the diabetic Slappy, the star was able to answer most of Yakko's more basic questions, and begin to make a list of items that they should have on hand from now on in case of an emergency.

They both looked up twenty minutes later when Doctor Whipple's nurse came back in, followed by Slappy and Dot, both of whom gave Yakko a look, as if to make sure he was now in control of himself. Dot was holding a bag of something; he couldn't tell what it was, but he hoped that she hadn't bought candy. If she did, she'd have to get rid of it before they visited Wakko.

When the nurse informed them that Wakko was now stable and could have visitors and they should follow her, Yakko nodded and stood, happy to feel Bugs come stand directly behind him.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Am I going to die?_

_What am I supposed to do? _

_Where's Yakko and Dot?_

_This sucks; we're gonna be back on the streets again and it'll be my fault._

Wakko leaned back on the stiff bed, trying to ignore all his thoughts and questions as he watched a nurse bustle around his room, checking all the monitors and wires and tubes that were connected to him. On a positive note, at least there wasn't anyone else in his room. It wasn't private, there was another bed in there, but it was empty. He was glad; what if it was someone really messed up, like with blood or blink oozing and broken bones?

The doctor had said he was going to get his family and they would be in shortly; that had been ages ago. Where were they? He was bored, he was scared, he really wanted to see Yakko. Yakko could explain this to him…

That doctor, Wiffle or whatever his name was, had said he was sick and from now on couldn't drink soda and stuff like he used to. He had to groan at that; if he couldn't drink soda, what was he supposed to drink - water?

Wakko wrinkled his nose at that thought and looked down at the brightly colored papers in his lap. He had tried reading them before when the doctor said he was sick, but they weren't very interesting; one of them had a goofy looking carrot-type figure on there introducing him to the food pyramid. Another one was talking about insulin and had directions for measuring glucose with a little meter. A third one gave the names of places and phone numbers he could call if he wanted to talk to someone about his new disease.

This was a mistake; he wasn't sick. He didn't have any disease. He felt fine; he really just wanted to go home. He wasn't really sure how he got to the hospital.

He remembered being on the couch fighting with Dot about learning some lines for a short, and Yakko telling them they couldn't leave the tower until they learned them. Yakko was gonna be ticked off - he hadn't learned them yet.

He gingerly reached back into his hammerspace, trying not to knock the needle out of his arm. He had almost passed out again when he saw it in his arm; it didn't really hurt, it was just a shock to see it there. The little nurse, a hideous crocodile toon, had told him it was an IV giving him nutrients. Personally, he would rather just eat something if they wanted to get nutrients into him. And they had stuck his finger a few times now, saying they had to keep testing his blink to make sure it had balanced out.

There was a little white clip on his finger, measuring his pulse; he could watch the little line go up and down on the monitor beside his bed, constantly beeping. His gloves were on the table next to his bed, along with his hat and a remote for the TV on the wall in front of him, currently turned off. For once though he didn't have any desire to watch anything; he was too scared.

Feeling around in his hammerspace, he concentrated, trying to will his copy of the script into his hand. It wouldn't come, which meant it was still lying on the floor in the tower. Wonderful.

_Where the hell were they?_

He sat up, bringing his knees up so he could carefully curl his arms around them and rest his chin on them, making himself not cry. He wasn't going to look like a baby in front of the nurse, no matter how scared he was. He decided to think and see if he could figure this mess out instead.

Yakko had said that learning the lines was their jobs; if they didn't learn the lines and film the shorts, they were breaking their end of the deal with the studio. Not only was that wrong, they could potentially lose their contract with the studio. If that happened, they would be out on the streets again.

He didn't want to be responsible for that. He didn't like all the rules and classes all the time, but he liked sleeping in a bed, being able to eat regularly, and most of his classes were OK. He didn't care for the Math and English tutor, Ms. Flamiel, but she was just one teacher; he liked the rest fine. He liked having his friends. He liked playing the violin. Heck, he even liked going to Foghorns classes; when the big rooster wasn't on him about making sure to do his assignments and paying more attention, he was a lot of fun.

He really liked how happy Yakko was now. Yakko was usually halfway happy anyway, but now he'd been a lot more cheerful. They were safe, they had jobs, TIS was pretty much off their backs, they had money, they were getting an education, and they could become major stars if the series ended up being a hit.

_Yakko had a lot less stress on him now. Well, maybe not less stress,_ he thought, feeling a little guilty when he though back to him and Dot fighting. _It was a different type of stress._

Dot was happy, mostly. He knew Dot loved her singing and dancing lessons. He didn't really see the appeal of ballet, but she really liked it. Apparently when it was closer to Christmas she would be getting together with other privately tutored kids from around the city to put on some Christmas themed show.

He knew that she wasn't happy that he spent so much time with his friends now. He hoped she could meet some kids her age soon; in the meantime, maybe he could bring her along with him sometime when they played ball. Or maybe she could come to the big mall with them one time; she would probably like it.

He was going to have to thank her; the doctor said that she was the one who got him help. He could have gone into an insulin coma if she hadn't moved as quick as she did. He still wasn't real clear on what that meant, but it sounded unpleasant enough that he was glad she did what she did.

He groaned quietly - Buster, Plucky, and Max - would he have to tell them about this? Maybe not; he knew he had only been there about five hours now. They probably wouldn't even know. If they didn't ask, he wouldn't tell them.

But the studio; they would know. One of the chaperones had to be in the hospital, he and his siblings couldn't have come otherwise. Would they have told the studio?

And the studio, would they kick them out because of this? If he was going to get sick, or was going to stay sick, wouldn't they want to find a healthy toon? Maybe they'd fire him, then keep Yakko and Dot and just find another toon to fill his position. He'd probably end up back in a home, but Yakko and Dot would be safe. He sniffed, worried; maybe they would come visit him once in a while.

The nurse finally was finished doing her check and she wandered to the door, telling him she'd be back later with his dinner. Looking at the list of what he couldn't eat anymore, he wondered what it would be. Probably pork chops and asparagus or something just as unappetizing. He just nodded his head at her, not really in the mood to be friendly.

Wakko put his head down in his lap, cutting off his view of the hospital room. Everything was white; the blanket, the monitors, the sheets, the walls, the floors. He was the only splash of color in the room. Even looking out the window all he could see was white; his window looked out to a whitewashed wall making up another portion of the hospital.

White was a very boring color. If he didn't die and he could go home again, the first thing he was doing was painting anything in the tower that was white a different color. The floor in the kitchen was no longer going to be red and white checkered; it was going to be red and blue checkers, he didn't care how mad Yakko got about it. He was tempted to even die his gloves; maybe green…

He really hoped he didn't die. He'd even sit through Dot's boring ballet recital if he didn't die.

Hearing the door open, Wakko looked back up and felt a silly grin spread across his face. Yakko and Bugs were walking in, followed by Slappy and a more hesitant looking Dot who met his eyes and screamed his name.

Yakko quickly walked to his bed, looking more concerned and relieved than he'd seen him in a long time. He sat on the edge of the bed, immediately giving him a tight hug while trying to avoid the tubes coming from his arm. He held him for a second before gently pushing him back to a reclining position and laying his hand on Wakko's forehead.

Bugs came around the other side of the bed, gracefully stepping over the cords splayed over the floor. Slappy stood at the foot of the bed, holding Dot's hand.

Dot was peeking at him over the edge, her eyes meeting his and giving him a wide smile. Her smile disappeared as her eyes began scanning the room, looking at the various wires and tubes around, watching the heart monitor, and looking at the gadgets worriedly.

"How ya feeling kiddo?"

_My blinks bad; I don't have a headache. Heck with it; Yakko always checks our foreheads whenever one of us gets sick. If it makes him feel better, I'll just shut up._

Hoping Yakko could explain some of what was happening he answered, "Confused. The doctor said I was sick; I don't feel sick."

"You're not exactly sick Wak, ehhhh…." Yakko trailed off for a second, looking confused. Wakko stared back at him, worried. If Yakko was fumbling around for words and couldn't tell him what was happening, it had to be pretty bad.

_I really am dying; what'd I do wrong?_

Slappy jumped in, saying, "Think of it this way kid; you're not sick; you'll just have to help your body do its job a little better than it's been."

_That didn't sound much better._

Glancing back at Yakko and seeing his worried look, he decided to ask him straight out, "Am I going to die?"

"No."

Wakko looked away from Yakko to the others. All four of their voices had answered loudly and firmly, echoing in the room.

"Then can I go home?"

The nurse said he was going to have to stay at least tonight, but if Yakko talked to her, maybe he could go home now. He'd really rather be at home; the thought of staying there, even one night, was upsetting.

"You're not dying doc; you just have a new problem that needs to be addressed," Bugs said, leaning against his bed. "You'll be out of here before you know it."

"You'll have to stay the night kiddo," Slappy added.

"And I'll be right here with you," Yakko said, exchanging a hard look with Bugs.

"We talked about this Yakko; you guys can't stay, the hospital won't let you, and you-"

"He can't stay by himself!" Yakko said, talking over the rabbit. "That's cruel-"

"He won't be by himself," Slappy said, jumping in before anyone could continue. "I'm staying here. I've already got Skippy taken care of for the night; me and the kid will be just fine."

_No! I don't want her here; she's cranky all the time!_

"I told you I'm staying with him," Yakko said.

"I told you already you can't Yakko; are you always this obscenest?" Bugs asked.

"Me too, I want to say," Dot said, still peeking at everyone from the edge of the bed.

Wakko, who had been trying to ask some questions himself, waving his arms to try to get their attention, turned his eyes back to her. She'd been so quiet, not to mention half hidden by the bed, he'd actually forgotten she was there for a second.

Everyone else appeared to have as well; Yakko was arguing with Bugs and Slappy about wanting to stay at the hospital. They were arguing that he needed to go home to rest, but that he still had Dot to worry about, not to mention start getting ready by going to the store to get some supplies for Wakko. The topper was that a chaperone should stay at the hospital, and Slappy was insisting that she was going to stay with him. He was a bit surprised actually; Yakko never argued with Bugs; he just about hung on the rabbit's every word.

Wakko felt even guiltier about that; Yakko was going to have to go buy stuff for him. And not anything fun either; prescriptions, needles, insulin, test strips, and meters were mentioned, as was going to talk to the doctor about other stuff.

_Yep, this was going to suck._

He knew they weren't exactly poor anymore; Yakko had said before that they were doing OK financially. They had to be; Yakko probably wouldn't be sending cash out to those people whose wallets they took if they weren't. He had to wonder now if all this new stuff was going to cost a lot; if it was, Yakko might not be able to send money back to those people. He'd be really upset about that.

Wakko shrunk down a little further in his bed sheets; he was causing a lot of problems here all of a sudden. And he wasn't even trying; he kept trying to think back, to see if he had done something to cause all this, but he couldn't think of anything. Maybe he just had too many donuts at the shoot.

_The shoot. The studio. The lines. Crap, still haven't learned them. Maybe Yakko won't ask…_

Wakko looked at Dot, who had shaken her hand free of Slappy's and was gripping the edge of the bed, turning her wide eyes from looking at him to looking at Yakko and the arguing adults.

The squirrel was moving to stand next to Bugs; two adults standing firm against an annoyed Yakko. Words and phrases like 'stubborn', ridiculous, 'see reason', 'I'm not going any damn where' and 'bomb in your shirt' were getting used a lot.

Dot looked at them again, shrugged, and pulled herself up onto the bed, holding a white and green bag in her mouth. Since everyone was still arguing around them, Wakko chose to watch her instead. At least she wasn't trying to fight with anyone or ignoring him.

She crawled over the white blanket, her pink Tweety shirt and jeans adding some much needed color to the snowy linens. Still being ignored by the adults and Yakko, she made her way to him, and he quickly scooted back as far as the pillow and linens would let him to make room for her.

When she got to the head of the bed, she laid beside him, briefly catching the tubing holding in the needle in his arm with her foot. He tried not to yelp; it hurt, but she hadn't yanked it out. She looked down and quickly untangled it, letting it drape across her leg instead before turning to grin at him.

"Hi Wakko! Slappy said you can't come home yet and you can't eat candy anymore-"

_Thanks for reminding me._

"-so I bought you something. I picked it out and used my own money too!"

_Oh._

With that she thrust the bag at him. Surprised not only with the statement but the thought, he gave her a smile.

"Thanks!"

He took the bag, trying to avoid the section that had been in her mouth and that was now slightly wet. Reaching inside, he pulled out two items; the newest issue of 'Motor Trend Magazine' and a small 'Hot Wheels' car of a bright red Lamborghini Countach. He had to grin; his little sister had a good eye when it came to fine automobiles.

"You like cars, and I remember you said you'd wanted it."

Oh. Well, he had a good eye for automobiles. She had a good memory.

"Do you like them?"

He looked at her, her eyes full of worry and confusion. He almost shuddered; it was probably the same thing showing in his eyes. She was probably wishing the same thing he was too; for everyone to shut up for five minutes and explain to them what was happening.

"I do, thanks!"

He put his arm around her and tried to ignore the others, who had moved to the end of the bed, Bugs and Slappy now talking in quiet voices. Yakko still looked ticked though; he had his fist to his mouth, not usually a great sign, but he appeared to be listening.

"I don't remember what happened, but whatever you did, thanks. Thanks a lot."

Dot cuddled into his side carefully and said, "I didn't do much, I just saved your life is all."

"Oh, don't be so modest," he mumbled, wondering if she planned on holding that over his head the rest of his life. A life he hoped wasn't going to be too short. "I know I owe you-"

She grinned at him. "You do, but I won't collect from you on this one." Her face turned serious. "I was scared Wakko! I thought you were just being a pain, but you weren't waking up!" She sniffed quietly, "I tried shaking you and hitting you; I even dumped water on you and you didn't move! You just laid there and muttered and made weird noises!"

He watched her eyes start filling with tears, and felt like a bigger heel than before. But no matter how bad he scared her, even though he couldn't remember a thing about it really, she's still the one that got him help.

"Sorry Dot, I don't know what happened. I'm still not sure what happened. When they're finished talking, maybe they'll tell us," he said, gesturing to their brother and the two older toons still talking at the foot of the bed.

At least Yakko didn't look so angry anymore. He looked like his usual calm totally in control self. He even had a small smile on his face, with just a touch of worry showing through.

"Hey, sorry about that sibs; we just had to go over a few things." Yakko sat on the side of the bed, gently moving the tubing out of the way, while Bugs and Slappy said they'd be back in a while and quietly left the room, leaving the door open as they stood outside.

"Let's talk for a few minutes about all this, OK? It's not good if you two are confused, and I think we're going to have to make a few lifestyle changes."

XXXXXXXXXX

April 25, 1993

"OK Wak, you see what I did?"

"Kinda; but I don't understand the reading."

Dot watched her brothers, peeking at them from the doorframe of the kitchen. Yakko was trying to explain the meter reading while Wakko chewed on the corner of his lip while looking at the meter, kneeling on the chair as Yakko went over the numbers again.

Wakko had finally come home after almost two days in the hospital. Well, two days and one night. It was a long time though, and not even in terms of the hours. She missed him, Yakko missed him. Yakko was almost crying last night; he just sat on the couch with her in his lap and didn't really say much. He still read her a story though, even though she said he didn't have to because he was sad.

When they had left the hospital yesterday - Yakko not very willingly - Bugs had taken them back to the lot, stopping first so they could pick up some 'supplies'. Yakko had bought something called a blood glucose meter and some needles and a bunch of other odd stuff on the list the doctor had given him. Today they had to go back to the drug store so they could get medicine for Wakko. It was weird; it had to be kept in the refrigerator.

Dot was terrified; Wakko was home, but was still sick. From the sounds of it he would be sick everyday the rest of his life. Not throwing up or have a tummy ache sick, but need medicine to stay healthy sick. And he couldn't eat what he wanted or drink what he wanted... Yakko had said something about trying to eat healthier, and they would all try to do it so Wakko wouldn't feel bad because he was going to have a different diet.

That was OK; her ballet teacher, Giselle Dvorak, said eating healthy was important for dancers, so their bodies would stay slim and strong enough for the complex routines she hoped to one day perform. Hopefully, when she turned nine or ten, she would be ready to start to dance _en pointe_. Maybe if she practiced really hard, and her feet ossified and if she kept up the pace of two classes a week, she might be able to…

But mostly, she didn't want to make Wakko feel bad; he was already upset. She would be too if she had to stick her finger a few times a day with that little pin thing then inject that stuff into her arm or thigh. Plus they said that sometime, something might happen and Wakko might just go and pass out on the couch like he did before.

Wakko seemed to be taking it a lot better than Yakko though. Yakko was trying to act normal, but it seemed like he was forcing himself to act normal, like he was trying to pretend nothing was wrong. Wakko had tried to get out of taking the shots at first, but then true to his nature, accepting the whole thing; maybe a little scared, but not much. She didn't know what to think.

The only thing that seemed to worry Wakko was people finding out; he had already said he didn't want to tell his friends or the studio or anyone. He was worried about what people would think, despite Yakko and Slappy telling him he had nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Personally, Dot didn't think his friends were worth much if they would stop being his friend because he had to inject himself a few times a day.

But Yakko said the studio had already been informed, as had most of the chaperones. Almost everyone that knew had been supportive of him, even calling the tower to check on him. They had been given a few days off from shooting to learn the lines that she and Wakko had yet to learn and to give them time to figure out what, if anything needed to be changed in their routine. Shooting would commence Wednesday.

Yakko said that Wakko didn't have to tell anyone he didn't want to tell, which included his friends. Plucky and Max had called; Plucky yesterday when he wasn't here, and Max today, to talk to him. Wakko had talked to Max for a few minutes; he didn't mention his new condition, but apparently the blue one was still being punished, and Wakko should try to sneak over to their set some time tomorrow to hang out.

Buster's father already knew, since Bugs had called him, but Mr. Bunny said that he would leave informing his son up to Wakko.

Right now Yakko was showing Wakko how to stick himself in the finger; Yakko said the side of your finger was less sensitive than the pad. After a little drop of blink came out, he had to drop it on a test strip to put into the machine and wait a few seconds for the results to show on the screen. Wakko could stick himself well enough; he just didn't understand the readings. She didn't really understand it either, but since Yakko was being so patient in explaining it to him, she was picking up some of it too, even though she was supposed to be on the couch watching TV.

Yakko didn't want her to learn any of it, which was unfair. Wakko was her brother too, and she was the one that got him help when he was sick, and who knows? It might happen again. She would feel half as nervous about everything if she at least had some idea what she should do if anything ever happened again.

Yakko was standing up out of the chair, going to the counter to grab a bag of oranges. She quickly moved beyond the door frame, so he wouldn't spot her. He wasn't in a bad mood; neither of her brothers frequently was, but she didn't want to be responsible for putting him in one.

"Just come in Dot, I've seen you standing there for ten minutes now."

_Shoot. Busted._

Pushing back a spark of worry, Dot crept around the corner, hoping Yakko wasn't too mad. He didn't appear to be; if anything, he appeared resigned. And he should be; she wanted to know exactly what was happening, and she'd find out, one way or another. Her brothers weren't the only ones that could be stubborn.

Wakko was sitting in the chair, legs dangling off and tongue hanging out the left side of his mouth. Yakko was smirking at her, arms crossed while still holding the bag of fruit.

"If you're going to sneak up on us, try to at least be good at it," Yakko said, rolling his eyes and turning back to the table. "You lean in too far, your shadow was bouncing all over the kitchen."

"If you'd spoken up Yakko, I wouldn't have had to lean in so far," she retorted. "Besides, I want to learn this too. Even Slappy said I should have some idea what's going on."

_Yakko really liked Slappy; maybe throwing her name in would help out._

"You're too little Dot, you don't need to worry about this stuff yet."

_Darn. Well, worth a shot. _

Too bad Bugs hadn't said it too. But, he hadn't and she wasn't stupid enough to lie about it. She'd seen what happened to Wakko if he tried to lie about something. No sense in getting Yakko mad for something so minor.

"She helped before," Wakko said quietly. "She could probably learn this stuff too."

Yakko turned to look at him, cocking an eyebrow up. Dot threw Wakko a small grin; at least he was smart enough to realize she was going to learn anyway, they might as well just show her; while sort of scary, it wasn't really gross.

Besides, he was right; she could learn this. And with Wakko on her side too, they might be able to push Yakko in the right direction.

"Please Yakko? Pretty please?"

She smiled wider; she heard his small groan, which usually meant that she just won at whatever she was trying to get out of him.

"Please let her at least stay Yakko," Wakko said, exchanging a small grin with her before turning back to Yakko. "I'd rather have her in here than out there. It's sort of creepy, her spying on us around the corner."

"Creepy?" she shrieked, indignant. She chose to ignore their laughs and said, "Look, I wasn't spying; I just wanted to know what you were doing so I was watching from around the corner-"

"Yes Dot, that's called spying," Yakko said. "It's almost the definition of spying. But all right, fine, you can stay. I suppose it'll be OK. Just use common sense with this all right? This isn't exactly a game."

She nodded. "Sure Yakko. The family that injects together stays together."

"Crude, but correct," he agreed. "Now siblings, since we all probably need to practice with this since we don't want to kill Wakko with bad needle shots – ehhhh, sorry Wak, bad choice of words," he quickly added when he heard Wakko's sharp intake of breath at the word 'kill'.

Dot shook her head. Everyone had finally managed to convince Wakko he wasn't going to die, and here Yakko's throwing around the word 'kill'. Yakko was really smart; sometimes though, he talked too much.

"But anyway," Yakko continued, holding up an orange and a needle. "We're going to practice on these. Bruising a piece of citrus is preferable to Wakko. And remember what I said; Wakko, you don't inject anything unless I say so. Until we're both comfortable with this, I think we should probably do this together."

"OK," Wakko muttered, shooting a quick look at the box of needles on the table before looking at Dot, then back to Yakko.

"Dot, you're here as observation only. It had better be one hell of an emergency for you to even touch one of these. "

He must not have liked her look, because he added, "Please Dot, promise me. If you try and you don't know what you're doing, you could make it worse - maybe kill him."

"I'll come back and haunt your ass if you do," Wakko muttered.

"Watch it buddy," Yakko said, trying not to snicker. "But promise me, both of you; I don't ask you to take too much seriously, but this," he said, using his hand to gesture to the items on the table. "This is really serious, all joking aside; please don't play with this stuff, OK?"

"Promise!" Dot said while looking at the items as Wakko nodded his head. "So, where do we start?"

XXXXXXXXXX

May 13, 1993

"This isn't fair Yakko!"

Yakko sighed, looking at his younger brother. "Look Wak, try to understand-"

"You keep telling me that nothing's changed, I'm still the same right? So why can't I go?"

"Because I-"

"You say the same thing all the time; 'maybe next week!' It's been a month Yakko -"

"Actually, it's been around three weeks."

"Close enough," Wakko shrugged. "Please let me go, please?"

Yakko ran a hand through his hair as his brother looked beseechingly at him but with his tail still tapping in annoyance on the kitchen chair. It's like Wakko was trying to fight with him. He knew Wakko was just getting frustrated, but his constant whining to go to Buster's house, or be left alone for more than a few hours was working on his last nerve.

These last three weeks had been tough as they had tried to work a routine to make sure he was checked correctly when he needed to be. Yakko had read every book on juvenile diabetes he could get his hands on, learning tips to make the injections less painful, the best way to teach a child about rotating the injection sites or checking their glucose levels.

He was torn; he wanted to let Wakko go, partly because Wakko really wanted to go and partly because he was slowly driving him crazy. Buster, long since off restriction for whatever he had done, had been asking every week for Wakko to come back over for the weekend. Meanwhile, his father had continuously been hunting up Yakko, finally having a very long conversation about this new issue in their lives this week.

Wakko really deserved to go; he'd been amazing at adjusting to his new problem; they all had actually. Luckily, with toons having the inky substance mixed in with their blink, diabetes, while still serious, wasn't quite as bad as it was for the humans. The blink helped to pick up some of the slack of the pancreas.

It still sucked though. Human children had to usually take six shots a day; Wakko had to take at least two, sometimes three. Human's customarily had to prick their finger ten or more times a day; Wakko had to do it half as many times.

Wakko hadn't even complained too much about the change in their eating habits, especially when Foghorn began showing him how to Fritz different candies and other sweets. Yakko hadn't been too thrilled with that new trick, but like Bugs pointed out, it wasn't real candy so couldn't harm him. All it did was basically gave him the taste and made sure that he didn't stick out from his friends. If they were eating ice cream, he could do too. His just wasn't real, and didn't last very long. From what he understood, Wakko was getting a reputation as having a voracious appetite.

Not to mention, a few of the upcoming scripts had Wakko putting away large amounts of food. They spent most of the last week filming the opening theme for the show; it was the first time that the entire cast of the show had been on the same soundstage. Wakko's introduction had him as the one who 'packed away the snacks'. Not really the best line for a diabetic child, but it was written before Wakko was diagnosed, and that was part of his character.

Dot was surprisingly receptive to the healthier diet, a fact that shocked him. She liked candy as much as the next kid, but now she rarely asked for it, even if Wakko wasn't around. Wakko could occasionally eat something sweet but he needed to be limited and closely watched.

For being diagnosed with the disease, Wakko had been compliant about everything, going to the appointments with the diabetes health team, fairly accepting of the shots; he didn't even get that upset when Yakko would pop up sporadically when he was playing to check his blink sugar, just so he could assure himself he was OK. He still learned his lines and played with his friends and went to class; other than the shots and checking his blink, he could almost forget that there was anything wrong with Wakko.

Almost.

But Yakko couldn't forget and was worried about him leaving. It had become part of their routine, to check the sugar level of his blink. He was getting really good at injecting the needle into his brother. Wakko was still shy about the needle, but he was at the point where he would occasionally push the plunger down.

Thankfully Dot didn't have anything wrong with her. Yakko had arranged for her to have a complete medical physical; his baby sister had hit the genetic lottery. He had been diagnosed with lactose intolerance, something he had guessed at years ago. At least now it was properly documented by a medical professional and he had an idea of what he should avoid unless he wanted to spend several memorable hours in the bathroom.

"You've spent enough time over there - look, we'll do something this weekend OK? You wanted to see that baseball movie-"

"'The Sandlot'," Wakko grumbled, arms crossed and slumping in the kitchen chair. "It came out last month."

"I'll talk to Bugs. Maybe Slappy; it might be something Skippy wants to see-"

"I don't want to hang out with him! He's dweeby!"

Yakko smirked; he was a nice kid, but Skippy was sort of dweeby. It was hard to believe that he was related to the sharp-tongued Slappy.

"OK, he's a bit of a poindexter-"

"What's that mean?"

"An adult word for nerd. Anyway, he's not exactly the coolest kid around, but he'd probably like a baseball movie too. And it could get Slappy more interested in going."

_Though who knows if Dot would want to sit through that sort of movie…_

"But let's do that OK? At least for this week?"

He hated doing it; he felt like the bad guy. Wakko wanted to hang out with his friends, but until he was a lot more comfortable with the injections and checking his blink, he just wasn't going to send him off for the weekend. He knew he was being overprotective, but the thought of Wakko being out of his sight or out of his reach, where he couldn't check on him - physically - whenever he wanted scared the hell out of him.

"All right, not like I have a choice," Wakko muttered.

Yakko almost cringed; Wakko was peeved at him now.

"Wak, try to work with me on this OK? I'm just trying to-"

"Yeah yeah, I know you're just worried. But this stinks; I'm being punished for something and I didn't even do anything!"

_He kinda was. He's right, it's not fair._

"I've been thinking-"

"Doesn't seem like it," Wakko muttered.

"You're a regular Henny Youngman. Maybe next week-"

"You said I couldn't go next week because the documentary is coming on Saturday night."

Yakko mentally smacked himself in the head; he almost forgot about that.

"Right, sorry. But don't you want to watch it with your family?"

"I guess," Wakko sighed, not really sounding like it.

"Maybe the week after that, we can try-" Seeing Wakko roll his eyes, he said, "Look, I'm just worried OK?"

"I know," Wakko sighed, looking resigned to another weekend on the lot. "Can I go now?"

Yakko nodded and watched as Wakko nimbly hopped from the chair and scurried off to the living room, where Dot was watching television. Yakko sighed and rested his chin in his hand, thinking back on his conversation with Mr. Bunny.

The tall rabbit had again extended an invitation to Wakko through Yakko yesterday; apparently he was well liked by the other three boys. He still constantly played with them on the lot, but as of yet had not told them about his issue. But the boys were getting more curious about why Wakko no longer came over, and why Yakko would periodically pop up and ask to see Wakko for five minutes.

Mr. Bunny had seemed upset that Yakko again said that Wakko was busy and would be unable to attend. While not pushing him, he had asked what the problem was and if it was due to the diabetes. When Yakko had finally nodded and expressed his reservations about Wakko and the needed insulin shots, Bunny had tried to alleviate his fears by proposing something Yakko hadn't thought of; he should teach him about what to do.

Yakko had been surprised; the rabbit seemed genuinely interested in learning. Not only so he could help Wakko if need be, but he also seemed interested in the disease just for interest's sake. He admitted to having almost no knowledge of it, but said he would read up on it, and if Yakko was interested in teaching him he would be willing to learn what needed to be done.

He was hesitant as well; he didn't know anything about teaching; he could barely do the shots himself. If the hospital hadn't taught him how to do the shots on the oranges then suggested he teach Wakko using the same method, he was pretty sure Wakko's arms would be bruised as black as his fur.

But could he teach him? Was he even qualified to do that? He was doing OK with it; Wakko hadn't gotten so much as a headache since he came home from the hospital so he must be doing something right. At least Wakko only took one sort of insulin; some people had to take two types and mix them.

The rabbit was taking a large responsibility upon himself, and Yakko again felt a bit of respect for the older rabbit. It wasn't every parent that would not only continuously invite a child with a disease into his house simply because his son liked him; even fewer parents would ask to be shown what to do in order for that child to come to their house safely.

Bugs and Foghorn both had asked if he would show them what to do. They had also stated that if he wasn't comfortable showing them they would either ask Slappy or go to the hospital and see if a staff member would be willing to show them. Bugs said he even thought 'The Diabetes Foundation' offered informational classes on it.

Apparently a few people thought he was skilled and knowledgeable enough to show them, which filled him with no small amount of pride. He snickered at the thought of all these adults, two of them major stars, sitting at his kitchen table and victimizing orange after orange with needles.

And if Mr. Bunny knew exactly what to do and when to do it, or what to look for, it would solve a few problems. Yakko wouldn't have the constant headache every weekend when Wakko wanted to go over to his friend's house and wasn't able to. Wakko would be able to see his friends, continue to be an almost normal child. Yakko had to admit, Wakko was partly right. He was almost being punished for something he had no control over.

He would have to talk to Wakko though to see if he would be comfortable accepting a shot or help from someone other than himself. It was his arm; he deserved some say in it.

He'd also have to talk to him about telling his friends, at least Buster. His friends would no doubt figure out something was going on if he and Buster's father disappeared a few times a day into the bathroom. The three boys were a little goofy at times, but none of them were stupid.

He wouldn't push him to tell them; he had already told Wakko that he could tell who he wanted when he was ready to tell them. But it would make life easier if they knew. Like Wakko, he was slightly worried how the three boys would react; kids could be cruel at times.

He would talk to Wakko later and get his thoughts on the situation. If he agreed, Yakko supposed he could hold a few 'Introduction to Diabetes' classes in his kitchen. If Mr. Bunny was willing to learn it, what right did he have to deny him?

He would have a few weeks to show him; maybe after next week he would know enough about what he was supposed to do that Yakko would feel comfortable letting Wakko go over there. In his quest to make sure that Wakko was safe, he was almost stealing his childhood.

It was still over two weeks away though; again, he felt like a jerk for denying Wakko the opportunity…

His thoughts trailed off as another thought came to him, a thought so stupid that he didn't even know where it came from. He remembered Mr. Bunny's statement from months ago, about having a group of rowdy boys running around on your weekend. But if he wouldn't allow Wakko to go to Buster's house, maybe he could allow the younger Bunny to stay at theirs.

Of course if Buster wanted to stay over, Wakko would be thrilled. He'd be even more thrilled if the other two members of his little posse could come as well.

The noise, the headaches, the inane conversations about sports and video games and what prank they could play on the girls on the lot next…

But still, it would probably delight Wakko, give him something to look forward to. Not this weekend, but next weekend; that would give everyone time to prepare, get permission, stock up on aspirin.

He'd see Mr. Bunny in the morning, talk to him not only about starting to show him what needed to be done, but also about Buster staying at the tower.

And it being during the documentary too; Yakko shook his head, hoping Wakko appreciated it. In the meantime, he made a mental note to grab a video tape at the store the next time they went. Not only would he like to tape their debut, he had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to hear a minute of it anyway over the conversation of four boys.

XXXXXXXXXX

May 12, 1993

"You could have told me before you know. What, you think I'd laugh or something?"

Wakko looked back at Buster. His friend was giving him a cool look; obviously he was annoyed with him. He had expected curiosity or aloofness, maybe even laughter. He hadn't expected his friend to be pissed at him for not telling him sooner.

"No…I don't know."

_Better come up with something better than that; you're pissing off the bunny._

Trying not to bite his lip, Wakko said, "Look, it's not really something that comes up in normal conversation and-"

"Dude - you were in the hospital! For like - what - two days? What the hell? What, you think we wouldn't care? We're a bunch of asses and we'd think it was funny?"

"No, that's not it! I don't know."

"Do you know anything? It's like - like - you don't trust us! Or me anyway," Buster grumbled.

Wakko, feeling like a jerk but trying to redeem himself, finally said, "I couldn't tell you Bunny - you were grounded, remember?"

"Don't try that crap inky - you could have said something when you kept sneaking over to the set. Not to mention you talk to Plucky and Monty on the phone, you-"

"I haven't told them," Wakko muttered. "Just you."

"Do you plan on telling them?" Buster asked, crossing his arms and looking at Wakko. "Or you plan on just leaving them in the dark?"

"Don't get pissy Buster; at least I told you."

_Jeeze, think he'd be happy about that._

"I know, but really, you could have said something before. I'd tell you if I was in the hospital for two damn days! You could have konked out while we were playing basketball and none of us would have known what the hell to do!"

_Sometimes having friends is tough._

"Look ,it's just…I don't know, I didn't know how to tell you." Wakko bit the corner of his lip, trying to think. How was he supposed to know that Buster would be so…insulted?

Finally he just sighed. "Look, I don't know how else to say it; I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't trust you more OK? I didn't even know what to say! I'm getting used to it myself. Besides, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just walk up to you that Monday and say I'd been in the hospital half the weekend, I have to go inject stuff into me in a few hours, but in the meantime lets shoot some hoops!"

"Why not? It'd be better than all the sneaking off and avoiding coming to my house!"

"I wanted to," he grumbled. Seeing Buster still looking at him he said in an insistent tone, "I really did! I just about begged Yakko to let me go! Not coming wasn't my idea, it was his." Trying not to look too disgusted, he put in, "He's worried something'll happen to me."

"Like we wouldn't be," Buster grumbled. After glaring at him for a second, Buster finally sighed and said, "Fine, at least I know what the problem was; I thought maybe my room smelled worse than I thought it did. At some point you'll have to show me that stuff."

"Why would you want to see it?" Wakko asked.

_Screwy rabbit._

"Because I'm curious - I don't know anything about it."

"It's not all that thrilling, take it from me; pricking your fingers and getting shots - not faboo."

"Faboo or not, I still want to see it."

_Great, I'm the star act at the freak show._

"Yeah, sure, maybe," Wakko muttered.

"But, uh, yeah, thanks for telling me I guess." Buster scratched the back of his neck, looking awkward for a few seconds. He finally said, " I don't have any crazy secrets to tell you, but I can say you should consider telling them; Plucky and Max."

"Why?"

"Because they're not going to judge you anymore than I am. We've got a friend that's got a few problems." He smirked. "And those two, they've got their own issues, trust me."

Curious, Wakko asked, "Like what?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Ass."

"I'm not going to tell you because they asked me not to say anything you knob. I'm not; I won't say anything about yours either if you don't want. But they'll tell you, especially if they find out about your diabetes." Buster shrugged and added, "Not to mention they're wondering why you keep disappearing with Yakko every few hours and don't come over to the house anymore. They'll probably be relieved to hear about the diabetes."

"Oh that's nice."

_Jerk._

Buster gave him a half-hearted slap upside his head. "Not like that moron. They think you're pissed off or something."

_Oh._

"If I was I wouldn't hang out with you on the lot."

"True, but it's Plucky and Max; sometimes their logic isn't so good. Enough of those fools, what else did you want to tell me?"

"What? Oh, right. Um, I can't come over this weekend-"

"Figures."

"-but I wanted to see, if, maybe…you wanted to stay at the tower, you know, with us?

The documentary thing they filmed - it's gonna be on and I wanted to know if you wanted to watch it…with us."

He hoped he didn't just sound like an idiot; he was rambling. He wasn't used to asking anyone to spend the night at his home; when had he ever had the opportunity before? He had been excited when Yakko asked him if he wanted his three friends to spend the weekend though, and during the weekend when the documentary was going to be shown too. He thought Yakko had wanted that to be a family thing.

He was even more excited when Yakko had asked him if he minded if he started showing a select group exactly what needed to be done as far as his diabetes went. He was a little nervous about getting help as far as his shots went from someone other than Yakko. He liked Mr. Bunny; he was a really nice guy and nowhere near as bossy as most of the adults he had to deal with, but still, he wasn't Yakko.

Yakko always explained what he was going to do and always asked Wakko's opinion on where he should get the shot so he could learn too, using the little chart the diabetes counselor had given them so they could learn about the rotation.

He always tried to numb the skin by putting a bag of frozen peas on it for a few minutes before he started. He always made sure to warm the insulin in his hand for a few minutes before he injected it so it wouldn't sting as bad. Yakko never reused needles like some people did to save money, even though when you reused them they started going dull right away and could really hurt.

As of yet, Yakko had never even hit a muscle, he always went just the right depth so he hit just the fattier part of his arm. He was good about rotating the injection sites too. Only a few times had he even drawn a few drops of blink by hitting one of the little vessels that ran all over the body, and he always looked so horrified and guilty that Wakko usually tried not to cry out at all so he wouldn't upset Yakko anymore.

Wakko had to assume he was telling the other people, the adults he was showing, all these helpful hints. Yakko wouldn't let someone hurt him, so he figured he was sharing all his helpful hints.

He knew Yakko was trying to do the best he could; Yakko admitted he was learning as he went along too. And he knew he was being a royal pain in Yakko's tail, but he was hoping that after he taught some of the others and some more time went by his older brother wouldn't worry so much. He was trying to be patient, he knew Yakko was worried, but his constant asking him what he ate, what he planned on eating, or where he was going so he could find him to check his glucose whenever he wanted…it was all so wearing on him.

If Buster's father was learning, maybe soon he could go back over to his house again. But in the meantime, Yakko said he could have the others stay over; he called it a consolation prize.

Dot wasn't happy about it; she didn't want a bunch of stinky boys running all over the tower while she was trying to do her dancing or whatever, but she finally agreed when Yakko promised that she could go to lunch and shopping with Lisa. Apparently there was some toon function coming up next month Dot wanted to go to; they were going window shopping for dresses. Seemed like a waste of time, why window shop? Just pick one out and-

"Wak! Hey inky, you still with me?"

Wakko quickly focused on Buster as he tapped him on the shoulder. The rabbit was getting over being annoyed at him, better not get him upset again because he was ignoring him.

"Yeah, sorry. What?"

Buster snorted. "What? You ask me to spend the weekend at your place, then take a trip on me. Space case."

"Oh. Yeah, I didn't take a trip, I was thinking-"

"That's nice, you haven't been doing much of that lately," Buster smirked. "But yeah, I'll stay, it'll kick ass. I'll check with Dad."

"Faboo!"

"Think about what I said; Plucky and Max aren't half the jerks they appear to be."

"Yeah, sometimes they can be even bigger jerks-"

"Its funny cuz it's true," Buster said amicably.

XXXXXXXXXX

May 22, 1993

"Pass the popcorn!"

"Shut up stupid bird it's starting!"

"Throw another god damn piece of pizza at me and I'm gonna-"

"Dot! Watch it!"

"Sorry Yakko! Tell them to stop-"

"He can't eat that you jerk! You trying to-"

"I don't need you to watch what I eat Buster, I can-"

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to melt into the couch cushion, wondering why he brought this on himself and how Mr. Bunny could deal with the constant noise almost every weekend. He also wondered if he could strangle at least a couple of the boys to get a few hours of peace and exactly how long a stint in prison he could look forward to if he decided to act on that idea.

Maybe he could shove a few of the cushions in his ears instead. It would help block out the yelling, screaming, kicking, fighting, laughing...

He knew he shouldn't be so cranky; his brother was having fun. This was the happiest he had seen Wakko in a month. Even Dot, when she was trying to avoid the food fight, seemed to be having a good time. The boys had allowed her to join them when they were playing baseball before on a back part of the lot.

The real loudmouth, Max, upon finding out the Warners still didn't have a video game system, had brought his with him and hooked it up to their television. The boys had then spent most of last night and a portion of today playing the system, even getting Yakko involved at one point.

He definitely had to get one for the tower; he actually enjoyed 'Centurion', even though Max said he had accidentally packed that game. Apparently the strategy based games weren't considered cool; the boys had laughed at him for fifteen minutes for liking it. They shut up when he beat the first level of 'Mortal Kombat' on the second try though.

The weekend had been interesting if nothing else; four hyper boys, all staying up well past their bedtimes, mixed with one young girl, also staying up well past her bedtime, and him with two bottles of aspirin and steadily moving through the pills at the recommended adult dosage of two pills every four to six hours. He wasn't an adult and the aspirin wasn't working, but he was trying anyway.

Seeing the florescent green logo from the 'New Toon Review' channel come up, he tried shushing everyone. It was seven-fifty-five; the show would be starting in five minutes. Thankfully when the studio had their cable put in, they had remembered to get the converter box so they could get the stations that were broadcast from ToonTown. It was an extra twenty dollars a month on the bill, but well worth it.

"Guys, please, its getting ready to start, can we all just shut up?" He asked.

He heard a chorus of 'sure Yakko' and 'OK' and one 'tell them to shut up first' from Dot, and he let out a small sigh. Why the television station decided to have the first part of the documentary come on at eight o'clock on a Saturday night he couldn't say. Why he agreed to let Dot, Wakko and the rest of the nuts stay up as long as they were able to watch, he couldn't give an answer for that either.

Wakko and the others were sleeping in the living room, falling asleep around eleven-thirty last night; he assumed they would probably knock off at about the same time tonight. Dot had managed to make it to almost nine last night before collapsing on his lap and asking to go to bed she was so tired.

Yakko looked at the four boys spread out on the floor in front of the television, lying on their blankets and pillows as Dot, tired of being the target in the popcorn fight crawled up onto the couch to curl in his lap. She looked exhausted already; no way would she stay awake through the entire two hour special. He was doubly glad he was taping it.

Watching Wakko shove a handful of popcorn in his mouth as he talked to Max about some motorcycle, he made a mental note to check his blink in a bit. The popcorn had a little of the butter flavoring on it, but it should be OK. If nothing else, he could check it during an ad without having to sneak out of the room. Wakko had finally told his three friends about his problem; Buster last week, and Plucky and Max earlier this week when he had asked them to stay the weekend.

Yakko had been taken aback when Wakko had marched into the kitchen last night followed by the rest of the boys, sat down in a chair and announced to him that he had told them and now they wanted to see what he was doing.

After verifying that he indeed heard correctly and figuring that if Wakko was ready to share that was his prerogative, Yakko had shrugged and gone through the entire routine with the three boys watching. Plucky and Buster's eyes had been full of curiosity while Max's was a mix of curiosity and worry. Come to find out, the boy was afraid of needles.

Feeling like he was putting on a very odd play, Yakko had talked the entire time, explaining what he was doing and what he was checking for. When one of the boys - usually Buster - asked a question, Wakko or Dot had jumped in, helping to explain it to them.

He hadn't expected to have to demonstrate or explain what each step was, and hoped that he hadn't made a mistake by showing it to the boys. He felt out of his element; at times he felt overwhelmed dealing with just his two younger siblings. He wasn't sure what to do with three additional boys.

Buster's father had thought the boys staying somewhere else for the weekend was a gift from above. Yakko had to call the Max mansion and speak briefly with his sometime guardian Jeeves since the kid's parents were out of town again about him staying over the weekend. The butler had cheered in his ear for almost five minutes, asking for blessings to rain down upon Yakko's head for the temporary respite from dealing with the bratty billionaire kid.

Plucky's parents had been more reluctant about letting their oldest son stay with a group of minors in a water tower. It had only been through Bugs stepping in and talking to the Duck parents himself, assuring them that Yakko was a very responsible kid despite his age, they wouldn't be leaving the lot without a chaperone, and promising that he would periodically check on them to make sure they were doing OK that they had finally agreed.

Bugs had called earlier today, mostly to talk to him about the documentary coming on and joking that he shouldn't get a swelled head because of it; he should save that for the actual series premier. Bugs had seemed pleased that Wakko had finally decided to spill about what his problem was to the other three. He was even happier that Yakko had taken the time to show them exactly what he and Wakko did, saying that ignorance breeds fear.

Other than Max being scared of the syringe, the three boys had seemed interested and while he didn't think they'd ever have to give an emergency glucose shot, it couldn't hurt for them to know what was happening. Wakko had said they were getting annoyed with him; now that they knew what was going on they were a lot more accepting of the problem. Not to mention they were his friends; they could play a very important part in his growing support group.

None of them had diabetes, but apparently two of them had their own medical issues. Plucky had volunteered that he had ADHD. Max apparently had a shellfish allergy. Not exactly the same thing, but at least they were sharing. Apparently both he and Wakko had misjudged them.

He just hoped their parents didn't get mad he showed them. He didn't see why they should, but he was in charge of the little troublemakers while they were there. He was viewed as a fairly responsible kid, he didn't want to lose that…

He was shaken from his thoughts by Dot grabbing his ear and yelling 'Yakko it's starting!' in it. He quickly grabbed the remote from between the cushions and hit the record button with fingers fumbling in excitement and nerves. This is what they had been working and waiting for; it wasn't an episode of the series, but they were going to be on television for the first time.

Everyone in ToonTown would see them in a few minutes. He smirked to himself, wondering if Goose or Mrs. Balmy or any one of their dozens of neighbors they had seen everyday for the first ten years of his life would be tuning in to watch. Would they recognize them? Would the clerks at the store? The librarians, would they be recognizable to them all these years later?

Or maybe one of the dozens of kids he had performed in front of, would they be watching? Would they recognize him as the reading assistant from the library? Or Wakko or Dot as the two children always sitting on the floor, Wakko occasionally coming up to help with a card trick? Would they be able to point at the TV and say they remember that kid, he performed a magic trick in front of them or helped them pick out a book or they had sold him a gallon of milk when he used to live down the street?

He smirked even wider, hoping that Ms. Garbo or Mr. O'Leaginous were watching, everyone at their former home actually. Terrorize his siblings, try to take his sister away, lock those stupid HRC's on all of them - how he hoped they were watching. He almost hoped Ms. Garbo choked on her anger when she saw that he was right in taking Dot from their questionable care- he was perfectly capable of taking care of the three of them.

The others finally grew quiet as the program started, the theme song for their show sounding loudly and clips of them and other members of the cast running across the screen.

It was odd, seeing yourself on the television screen. It was odd, but exhilarating and nerve-racking and exciting too.

There he was, standing on the platform behind the shield making up the logo for their show, Wakko standing on a slightly taller platform beside him, Dot below them. The camera panned from the rear of the logo to the front as they sang, giving the audience a good shot of how the opening credits had been filmed.

A few shots of their tower, first as the dirty hellish thing it had been, then a later shot of them coming out the door and standing on the landing waving to the camera; him smirking, Dot grinning widely and looking very confident, Wakko smiling shyly while his tongue hung out the side of his mouth.

There was a shot of Slappy and her nephew at the park, reviewing lines, the boom mikes visible in the background. Another scene of those two hippos; Marita using one hand to fill her face with Twinkies and HoHo's and anything else handy on the catering cart, Flavio kissing her other hand.

A quick shot of that hot mink Minerva strutting around in a skin tight outfit. He'd barely been able to speak when he first saw her; his tongue was busy hanging out of his mouth. Wakko had laughed at him; Yakko longed for the day when he got interested in girls and he could tease him.

A long scene of Rita and Runt singing together, Rita stopping to try to explain to Runt exactly what the term 'singing in key' meant.

The three of them, marching along with some of the cast. He remembered that well; Buttons was behind him for that part of the opener and kept breathing on his shoulder. His breath smelled like Milkbones and cheese.

Then they showed the part where the director yelled cut when Pinky fell on his face, Brain barely scuttling out of the way before he was squashed. Pinky's fall caused Pesto and Squit to trip over him; at least Bobby saw what had happened and was able to flap his wings and take flight before he ended up sprawled on the ground as well. They even showed the part where Pesto kicked Squit's butt halfway across the floor. Then was a quick interview with the director of the opening credits, Mr. Mills, speaking highly of the cast and mentioning three of them by name.

The "bologna in our slacks" section. Yakko rolled his eyes; he hated filming that short section of the opening. Even wearing boxers, lunch meat in your pants was cold. What was worse, the first time Dot had tossed the meat in she had inadvertently aimed at a...'bad section of his anatomy'. Or that was what he called it when he had recovered almost ten minutes later and she was asking him what was wrong. On the plus side, they didn't show that on the special.

A voice over started talking about the hosts and stars of this newest offering from Warner Brothers Studios and said they were going to be introduced and that they would be starting with the oldest.

Everyone in the tower was leaning forward toward the television in anticipation, waiting for Yakko to be shown and introduced.

There he was, his first screen test of him as Groucho, then his later one of him mimicking Elmer Fudd. He grinned and shook his head as he heard snickers from the others; he looked so young, so rough…hard to believe what had been accomplished in a few months.

Some footage of when that idiot had followed them around the lot trying to catch 'candid moments'; him eating and playing with Wakko and Dot in the cafeteria, him at dance and singing lessons, him playing ball with his siblings, while the voice over talked about how he was the oldest and a talker and how he watched over his younger siblings.

There was a clip of Bugs talking about his newest student, his intelligence and wit and ability to ad-lib. Then another clip was played, this time showing Yakko on the screen with Bugs talking over it as Yakko tried - unsuccessfully - to fall and be able to Chuck just right so he could land and not get injured.

Yakko winced as the others laughed, remembering the bruises and bumps he got as Bugs had slowly and patiently taught him the complicated procedure. Thankfully they showed a final clip of him getting the maneuver right so he didn't look like a total incompetent.

There was a few behind the scenes moments from several of the shorts they had been filming at the time. A few more scenes with him and Scot Presley, his guitar teacher as he practiced and learned a few cords.

A voice over came on, saying they would be back to meet 'The Sibs' and the rest of the cast, showing a few clips of Dot in ballet class and Wakko with his violin, and Yakko's eardrums almost ruptured with the yelling and shrieking that erupted in the tower at that announcement. He couldn't say anything though; he was yelling himself.

Jumping off the couch, he tossed Dot in the air catching her as she shrieked in glee. She wrapped her arms around his neck, almost crushing his throat while yelling 'we made it we made it!' in his ear.

Wakko and the others were jumping up and down, the three Tiny Toon cast members yelling congratulations to him before running over to congratulate Yakko and Dot on their first fifteen minutes of airtime. Buster grabbed Wakko, the two exchanging a hug before they realized what they were doing and backed away from each other, surprised but still grinning.

Wakko ran over to hug Yakko, grabbing him around the waist and knocking him back on the couch, everyone still whooping and howling and tossing popcorn and pillows in the air.

If they were this jubilant about the first part of a making of special, Yakko couldn't wait to see what they would be like when the first episode aired.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 5, 1993

"This one's so pretty! What do you think of it Lisa?" Dot said, reaching up to try to pull the hanger off the rack. Unable to really reach it, she finally just gave a hard yank, pulling the pink frock off the hanger.

An employee of the shop, 'The Diamond Tiara', saw what she was doing and scowled, shaking her head at her. Dot gave her a sweet smile, hoping she looked charming enough. She must have; the woman returned her smile and walked off.

_Works every time._

Lisa turned back to Dot from the dresses she had been looking at across the aisle and walked to her, holding a dark colored dress in her arms as she did so. She took the dress from Dot, holding it up so she could examine it better.

"It's really nice Dot, very princess like, but it's going to be much to fancy for this. This one would be better saved for a more elegant function."

Dot frowned; that was too bad. This dress was really nice; it was pink satin, sleeveless and was 'tea length' as Lisa called it. It had a sheer light pink overlay and a really puffy skirt. There was even little white rosettes around the waist. She wanted to look her best at the function; she'd be meeting a lot of people. She didn't want to look like some weirdo.

"Sorry. It's pretty; I really like the skirt."

"It's got a crinoline slip to add some fullness; another sign that it's for a more formal occasion." Seeing Dot's face, she put in, "There's nothing wrong with having a fancier dress in your closet, just for an emergency. You buy it just because you like it. You don't have to buy this dress for the function; save it for the next one."

"Why would I want to do that?" Dot asked. "Then I wouldn't be able to come back out shopping."

Lisa blinked at her for a second before getting a wide grin. "You're learning quick. OK, we'll put this one back."

Dot eyed it for a second. It was a pretty dress.

"Well…maybe I'll take it. Just to have it," she said. "Like you said, just for an emergency."

She smirked to herself; Yakko and Wakko both would roll their eyes. Lisa said boys typically didn't buy more clothes than they needed; usually they didn't have enough. The more basic the better for them. Girls however, needed extra clothes. Girls always needed to be able to dress for any occasion and look good doing it.

Dot tried to explain it to Yakko after she came back from her last shopping trip with Lisa, but he just rolled his eyes and muttered something about girls having some natural compulsion to shop; it was an unstoppable urge. Wakko had asked why girls bought so many clothes since they could only wear one outfit at a time.

She had gotten even more annoyed when Yakko started laughing at Wakko's question.

She had said the same thing could be said about video games; you could only play one at a time, so why have more than one and had stomped out of the kitchen in a huff. Wakko looked at her like she was nuts and Yakko had just laughed harder.

_Boys._

Yakko, with lots of pleading by Wakko, had bought some stupid video game system at the store. She couldn't remember what it was; it was the same one that little blabbermouth friend of Wakko's brought with him. The boys had stayed over the last couple of weekends to watch the documentary because Wakko couldn't stay at Buster's; Yakko was still worried about him. But her brothers and those boys would play the Genesis for hours. She couldn't see what the big deal was. She tried playing a few times but couldn't really get into it like they did. It kept them entertained though.

_They'd better get interested real quick,_ she thought. _They'll look stupid if they show up in their jeans and t-shirts._

Yakko had bought the tickets to the function already, since he and Wakko would be going as well. Of course they hadn't bothered to go find suits or anything to wear. Supposedly they would be going out with Mr. Bunny to find something at some point. It was only three weeks away; they'd better get going.

She watched as Lisa held out the dress she had found. Dot gave a little gasp of pleasure; it was even more beautiful than the one she had found, not as formal, but very nice.

The dress was light blue chiffon with a swing skirt that would fall close to her knees. There was an attached black velour bodice with matching blue ribbon laces that would criss-cross down the front. She could see a hint of a matching blue satin underskirt.

"What do you think of this one Dot? It'll fit in more at this type of function, and you'll be able to wear it for a lot of different occasions. Not to mention the color will really compliment your coloring."

Dot looked at the dress again. It wasn't pink, but it was pretty. And Lisa thought it would look good on her, and she valued her opinion.

"Oh yes! I want to try that one on!"

"Good idea. Try never to buy anything without trying it on. Sure, it can be returned, but why waste the time with that?"

She led Dot to the dressing room area in the rear of the store. Stepping into the parlor like setting, Dot looked at all the shiny dark wooden lattice doors displaying other articles of clothing being modeled for toon children.

Dot looked around, happy that Lisa had suggested this store. 'The Diamond Tiara' specialized in clothing and accessories for toon girls from infants to young teens, and they always had the nicest and most fashionable clothing around. The store was clean and bright, the employees were friendly, there were lots of chairs and tables scattered around for the adults to sit in while they waited for the girls to pick out what they wanted.

Dot looked at a few of the pictures of models; Sunni Gummy was one of the newest models for the clothing chain, and she was looking very cute in a mint green sweater set and black jeans, a fashionable black beret giving her a sassy appearance. Dot smirked; she had certainly come a long way from the whiny bouncing bear in the tacky green dress.

Looking up she saw that they were at the dressing rooms. Lisa handed her the dress and Dot stepped into the dressing room, Lisa waiting outside. Dot quickly took off her jeans and shirt and slipped the dress over her head, liking the feel of the chiffon. She liked the way it looked on her too. Lisa was right, it did compliment her coloring. Light blue looked good on her.

She giggled, spinning around while looking at herself in the mirror. The skirt section flounced out nicely before settling back around her knees. She'd need Lisa to help her with the laces though. But all in all, she was very satisfied. This was the dress.

"Dot? How's it look? Can I see?"

Dot, still beaming at herself in the mirror yelled, "Hold on!"

She opened the door and stepped out into the open area for the dressing rooms, laughing at Lisa's expression.

Spinning around again, she said, "What do ya think? Am I cute or what?"

"Dot, you're simply stunning! Turn around again slowly," Lisa said, using her finger to direct her to spin.

Dot did as she was directed, noticing that a couple of store employees were watching her and smiling.

She held the skirt out and did another _pirouette_ while saying , "It's not pink, but I like it!"

"It looks good on you sweetheart."

Startled, she almost tripped over her own feet as she stopped moving. That wasn't Lisa speaking.

She looked over; even complete strangers were complimenting her. Two toon bears were watching her, the smaller golden cub holding her mother's hand and smiling at her.

"Blue is a good color for you. You don't want too much pink in your wardrobe dear; you'll grow tired of it. My Molly did; now she won't touch it."

The bear gestured with her free hand to her daughter. The cub grinned up at her mother before looking back at Dot.

"Yeah, and Mommy said a girl should never get tired of pink," the girl said, shaking her head vigorously. "It's our signature color."

"Unless you're a redhead, then it's just tacky," Lisa added, stepping around Dot to greet the bears. "Hello Rebecca, I was wondering when you'd get here. Hi Molly."

"Hi Nurse Miller. This is her?" Molly asked excitedly, looking at Dot.

Dot looked back at her.

_What was she talking about?_

"You said eleven Lisa; it's eleven-o-seven, only a few minutes," Rebecca answered breezily and ignoring the cub. Getting a sly look on her face, she asked, "How was the function with the great Gaston?"

"Dreadfully boring," Lisa answered, rolling her eyes. "Some of those Disney men-"

"Not just the men," Rebecca said. "Some of the women are just as bad. Remember Princess Jasmine?"

"She can be temperamental and have a bit of an ego," Lisa argued. "She's a Princess."

Dot listened, wide eyed as the two adults talked. They met Jasmine? She loved her movie. She wondered if they had met Princess Aurora too.

"And who's this little lady?" Rebecca asked, letting go of Molly's hand and leaning over.

"This is Dot Warner," Lisa said, gesturing with her hand for Dot to step forward toward them. "She's one of the hosts of the new series starting for the studio. Dot, this is Rebecca Cunningham."

"Hello dear." The bearess extended her hand toward Dot. "I saw both parts of your special, you looked marvelous! I think with you on the show, Warner Brothers can look forward to another hit on their hands."

_What a nice thing to say._

Dot, long since having placed the two bears, stepped forward hesitantly. She wasn't shy, but she was still getting used to greeting established stars. She was getting better about it though; Porky had been teaching her some etiquette and how to handle herself in social situations. Plus she was with Lisa who knew them.

"Hi Dot, very nice to meet you." The bear took Dot's small gloved hand in her own for a moment before turning to her daughter, who was trying to bob and weave around the woman. "This is-"

"I'm Molly," the cub said, pushing around her mother to shove her hand at Dot. Ms. Cunningham smiled before walking closer to Lisa, discussing some new show in development at Disney. Dot stared at Lisa in dismay; they weren't going to leave her with this hyper girl were they?

"The dress looks pretty on you," Molly gushed, bouncing on her toes. "I saw you on TV! My whole family did! Your brothers are cute! I liked your costume, it was better than what I had to wear. How old are you?"

Dot started to answer, but was cut off as Molly continued to talk.

"I turned six in February!" she informed her proudly. "I've got a brother, he's thirteen. Enough about him, that dress you have, it's for the function at _The Caselotti_ in ToonTown right? I heard you talking to Nurse Miller. Wanna go find accessories?"

Dot stared at the girl, taken aback by the flood of information, opinions and questions coming at her. She thought she and Wakko got hyper; they had nothing on this girl. At least she was close to her age and friendly.

Not sure what to say, she finally just nodded her head, hoping that would be sufficient. Porky hadn't told her what to do when she met someone who talked more than her brother. The cub squealed in delight, clapped her hands together, then grabbed Dot's hand and started to run to the far wall, dragging her along.

Dot struggled to keep up and not fall. The girl would no doubt not notice and continue to drag her; she'd probably get a rug burn. Meanwhile Molly was still talking about clothing and Dot's show and her family and her dance lessons.

"Honey? Molly? Let Dot change first."

Molly skidded to a stop and Dot crashed into her back, smashing her nose. Rubbing it with her free hand, she started laughing as the cub turned and dragged her back to the dressing room area, still talking. She didn't think you could get someone's life story in a less than five minute conversation, but Molly was doing a good job of trying. But now Molly was asking her questions about her studio and her family.

Dot knew to tread lightly; she remembered what Yakko had said. Don't lie, but don't volunteer information. She answered what she could. One of these days she'd have to remember to ask Yakko about their father though.

Molly finally let go of her hand and Dot dashed back into the dressing room, her fingers tripping over the lacing on the bodice of the dress. Molly was standing outside the door to the dressing room still talking, this time about toys.

Dot yelled out a few 'yes's', a couple of 'no's', and finally a 'what' when Molly said something about horseback riding.

"Yeah, I almost lost my seat, but Sunrise is a good mount and settled down-"

Dot quickly finished putting her clothing on and stepped out of the dressing room as Molly talked about Sunrise, the horse she usually rode at her riding lessons each week.

Dot grinned as the girl continued to talk and led her back to the accessory section of the store, not any less hyper than before but at least not dragging her along. She was liking Molly; she was enthusiastic about everything, but she also had a personality that would light up a room. She was the happiest individual that Dot had ever met.

And the girl knew accessories. Molly picked out no less than seven bows, ribbons, flowers or feathers that Dot could wear in her hair with the dress. When Molly wasn't looking she put the feathered scrunchie back; it was ugly but she didn't want to insult Molly.

Finally Ms. Cunningham, who had been standing back talking to Lisa said that they needed to run an errand; they could meet them for lunch in an hour. Molly nodded and turned back to Dot.

Dot, unsure what to do, stuck her hand out to the girl. She was almost upset; she had finally met a girl her age who was nice. She talked a little too much, but she was sweet. Once again, she felt a twinge of jealously for Wakko and Yakko.

Wakko had those boys he ran around with; even some of the girls hung out with them, playing baseball. Only every now and then would they invite Dot, and even then she sometimes felt like an outsider, the kid sister tolerated but never really accepted.

Yakko had Slappy and Bugs and Brain. They were all years older than him, but he seemed to like their conversation, and any one of them would frequently call to talk to Yakko or invite him to go have a cup of coffee with them in the cafeteria. She had been invited a few times, but again, mostly in pity. The poor girl can't make any friends; bring her along.

Now though, she finally met someone, a nice sane girl her age that shared some of her interests and hobbies, and she'd probably never get to see her.

_It wasn't fair_, she thought. _I only got to talk to her for a few minutes and now she has to go. She gets to go back and she'll get to see her friends. I have to go back and listen to my brothers talk about what they did with theirs. _

She tried to cheer herself up with the thought that Molly would at least be at the function. She could see her at those she guessed.

Molly looked at her hand, giggled, and pushed it away, embracing her instead. Pleasantly surprised, Dot returned the hug, enjoying the warmth and feeling of friendship that was coming from the other girl.

One night when she had been talking to Wakko about a week after he came back from the hospital, he had confessed to being scared that his friends would learn about his diabetes. He had been worried what they would think, what they would say, that they wouldn't understand and would stop talking to him. He said that after having met them, he didn't want to lose them; he enjoyed being able to talk and play with boys his age.

She hadn't understood at the time, not only the fear of losing these so called friends, but the strangely deep and serious conversation coming from her usually goofy and carefree brother. Yakko had come in and tried to cheer him up, saying if those boys were half as decent as he thought they were, they wouldn't care. Yakko had been right; they hadn't cared. Wakko had worried for nothing.

But even now, with only having known the cub about half an hour, she could see them becoming friends if they had the opportunity. They wouldn't though; two different studios, She pushed the thought from her head; she didn't want to look so desperate for friendship that she pounced on the first girl she met.

Desperation wasn't cute.

Molly seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her though. With her mother's permission she quickly got a piece of paper and a pen from Ms. Cunningham and wrote her phone number down and handed it to Dot. She then waited while Dot looked at her, confused until she realized that Molly was waiting for her number. She glanced at Lisa, who shrugged and nodded, and Dot gave it to the girl.

Molly was finally walking away, saying she would call Dot later and they could talk more. She and her mother gave a final wave and disappeared out the door.

"Come on Dot, let's get the dresses paid for," Lisa said. "We'll meet Rebecca and Molly for lunch. We've got time," she said while checking her watch. "If you want, we can go look in the doll shop up the street that Molly was telling you about while we wait for them. We'll meet them at 'Tres Bien', you'll like it. It's a great little French café; have you ever had a crêpe?"

Dot shook her head. She got to try the most interesting and exotic food when she was with Lisa.

"You'll like it, promise." Looking at Dot she asked, "What did you think of Molly?"

"She talks a lot, but I really liked her. She's really…happy."

"I thought you'd like her; she's a sweet girl. I met Rebecca a few years ago at a function when she was just opening her agency. I had a feeling you'd like her daughter. Since we were going to be out anyway, I thought it'd be nice for you two to meet."

Dot was touched; Lisa had actually thought enough about her to introduce her not only to her own friend, but even to suggest that her friend bring her daughter to meet her. Dot smiled up at her.

"Thanks."

She wished she could say more, she just couldn't think of anything else to say that would convey all the appreciation she felt for Lisa at the moment. She realized something too; she'd been whining that she didn't have any friends before, and she had Lisa. There was a considerable age difference, but nothing said she couldn't have a friend that wasn't her own age.

Lisa shrugged. "Nothing to thank me for. I just introduced you; you did the rest on your own."

_I suppose I did. At least now I'll know one person at the function._

End Chapter 18


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you for the reviews and I hope everyone has a good Christmas.

Chapter 19 - The Function

June 26, 1993

The Caselotti, ToonTown

_Horrid music, way too many little girls dressed in pink, Slappy's abandoned me to a night of preteen chatter, and the punch sucks._

Yakko sighed and put his punch cup down on the table. It was going to be a long evening, and they had only arrived fifteen minutes ago. The DJ had better kick the music up a notch. So far he had heard nothing but boy bands. He didn't know much about music yet, but he knew one thing; he hated New Kids on the Block.

He yanked at his tie; it was the first time he had worn a tie since the Brutus-Nero Home. At least this outfit was preferable to that one. Thankfully Mr. Bunny had reminded him that they couldn't go to a large function being held at _The Caselotti_ dressed in jeans. That had prompted a frantic emergency trip out yesterday with him and a reluctant Wakko to find some dressier clothes.

What they had found wasn't bad; blue broadcloth button-down shirts, black ties, and charcoal pants. It wasn't until they were getting dressed today that he realized that they had the exact same outfits; they were dressed like twins. That was Wakko's fault though; he had just waited to see what Yakko picked out then got the same thing in his own size.

Yakko looked at Dot, sitting beside him at a round table, a snowy white tablecloth draped across it. In the middle of the table was a large flowered centerpiece, a cream colored candle in the middle of that. He thought that was a bit dumb; a large gathering of children let loose with food and punch around white linen and open flame. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Beside Dot Skippy sat awkwardly playing with his tie, every now and then stopping that to twiddle his thumbs. That was boring too; Yakko chose to look around the ballroom instead.

_The Caselotti_ was a stunning building; the residents of Wishing Star District had spared no expense in its design or building. They had wanted a formal ballroom and theater to frequent, and at the wild beginnings of ToonTown, no such structure had been available.

They had imported Greek and Italian marble to construct _The Caselotti_; when Slappy had driven them up, the marble had practically gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight while a large stone fountain bubbled merrily outside. Inside, spectacular crystal chandeliers and a deep burgundy carpet had led to the highly polished dance floor, the walls lined in gilded mirrors. Slappy had said beyond the ballroom floor was the theater area.

Apparently there was also a lounge back there. Slappy had walked quickly in that direction upon their arrival, saying most of the parents and chaperones stayed back there sleeping, playing bridge, or sipping vermouth. He wondered if they ever bothered to come out and check on the kids, or if they would just be left to fend for themselves.

Well, as long as they were on the property with her they'd be safe; on the way in they had passed several TIS cars. He'd started laughing when Slappy honked at all of them and waved; she even remembered to use all her fingers most of the time. He had been worried about going back to ToonTown, their first time back since their frantic escape after they were discovered in the anvil factory. He shouldn't have been; just like outside of the town, all TIS could do was look at them. To be honest, he didn't even think any of the TIS hunters had even recognized them.

While _The Caselotti_ may have been delightful to look at, it wasn't going to hold his attention all evening. Hell, it wasn't going to hold his attention another five minutes.

He wished he hadn't come. He had purchased the tickets at the studio's insistence; the studio said it would be good for them to get out, meet other kids and start getting their faces seen. Yakko had snorted; Plotz wanted them to promote the show and the studio on their own dime.

He finally had sighed and bought the tickets; getting out for an evening would be good. Any publicity they got would be a plus. Who knew, maybe he'd actually meet someone his own age. He loved his siblings; he liked Wakko's friends, pains though they may be. Dot had met that little girl Molly who seemed nice if a bit hyper. He adored Slappy, Bugs and a majority of the other adults he was around; he tended to relate to them. Now and then though, it'd be nice to actually talk to someone his own age even if it was only for an evening.

Yakko had been surprised at how excited Plotz seemed to be about Dot's new friendship with a child from the rival studio. He didn't think Plotz got excited in the happy way; he was either in a bad mood, or in an enraged mood. He had almost been tempted to pick the toon's pocket just to look at his license, to make sure it really was Plotz and he hadn't been replaced with a look-alike.

Bugs had said that Plotz would encourage any friendships made at rival studios; much like this function, it was good publicity. Plotz had even encouraged Dot to invite Molly over to visit at the set. In the three weeks that she had known the girl; his sister had gone from being mostly happy to incredibly happy. Molly, along with her mother had visited the lot several times. The first time that Plotz had heard about he had invited a few photographers to the lot as well to take pictures.

Yakko could tell Ms. Cunningham had been just as uncomfortable with that as he had been; it was two little girls going to play with their dolls for a few hours and eat cookies.

They hadn't seemed too perturbed though; they had posed for the cameras, both looking adorable with their arms around each other. Dot's dark fur was a nice contrast to Molly's golden coloring as they leaned their heads toward each other and grinned at the cameras.

Yakko had shrugged and finally taken a picture himself; he had broken down and bought a camera the last time he was off lot with Bugs. The rabbit had suggested it and Yakko and had jumped at the suggestion; he had no pictures of himself or his siblings from earlier in their lives, he planned on making up for that by taking as many pictures now as he could.

A few of the pictures had appeared in the back of one of the preteen girls' magazines, something he normally didn't purchase. He hadn't known about it; Babs had shown it to Wakko who had told him at dinner one night. He had almost begged a very amused Bugs to take him off lot early in the week to buy a copy. He had actually bought a couple, one for the scrapbook and one for Dot to have when she was older. She had seen the pictures and been very happy, then forgot about it five minutes later. Yakko supposed it was due to the fact that she was five; she was supposed to have a short attention span.

Molly's mother was a pleasant if pushy woman. That was understandable though; she didn't become a well known agent by not having that attitude. He liked Ms. Cunningham; pretty, smart, charming, she knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go after it. He had talked to her for several hours in his living room. She had been curious about their peculiar living quarters, and after getting over her worry of Molly and herself falling to their deaths, had finally consented to climb the ladder leading to the tower.

Ms. Cunningham had left her business card; after finding out they did not have agents and Yakko had negotiated their first contract, the woman had quizzed him for almost an hour on what they had gotten as far as compensation from the studio. From her expert opinion, he hadn't done bad at all, especially considering he had close to no idea what he had been doing, but she could do better. She had talked for almost another hour about how having an agent could benefit them not only now, but in the future. She had said that even if they didn't get her, they should get someone; she had even suggested some names of other agents he could call.

The conversation had been interesting, and obtaining an agent could be beneficial. He would think about it, discuss it with Wakko and Dot, and make a decision at a later time.

"Do you think she's not gonna come Yakko?"

Yakko cut his eyes to Dot. "She said she'll be here Dot; give her a few minutes."

"But where is she?"

Molly had said she would meet Dot at five; Yakko quickly cut his eyes to his watch. It was now five-eighteen. He was glad he had taken several pictures of her earlier; she looked sick she was so nervous and upset. At least she was willing to have her picture taken; Wakko had been more reluctant and had to be bribed before he would hold still for a few photos.

"Maybe she wants to arrive fashionably late Dot, I don't know."

He wasn't trying to ignore his sister, but one gorgeous cat girl had just walked across the floor. She turned, caught his eye and smiled before sashaying off, long platinum hair grazing her hips as she did so.

_The function just improved._

"What if she doesn't come?"

"I'm sure the sun will still rise and the tides will still ebb and flow on the-"

"I don't care about nature Yakko! I don't want to look like some dork! Wakko's friends met him!"

"No, Wakko's friends kidnapped him."

They did too; Wakko had barely stepped both white furred feet onto the carpet before Max and Buster had spotted him and dashed across the dance floor, almost knocking over several teen couples. With a very quick 'hi' to him and Dot, they had dragged him away. They were now currently huddled in the back of the ballroom with a group of other little boys, all whispering while the girls huddled on the other side of the ballroom, pointing and giggling at them.

Yakko had a feeling the boys weren't deciding on which girl to ask to dance. He hoped that, whatever they were whispering about, they weren't planning on causing too much trouble.

"You wanna dance Dot?"

Dot looked at Skippy and then at the dance floor where there were currently two teenage couples dancing. Or making out; it was hard to say which. An adult bear, presumably a chaperone, finally stuck her head out of the lounge area in the back of the ballroom and walked onto the dance floor, separating the two couples. As soon as she disappeared back into the lounge, the two couples had gone back to what they had been doing.

Dot shook her head and then anxiously looked back at Yakko. He stared back at her. He couldn't magic the girl there; she'd show up when she showed up.

Skippy went back to twiddling his thumbs and looking around. Yakko sighed again, not seeing the cat girl. He was never coming to another one of these, he didn't care how much publicity the studio wanted.

Suddenly a loud squeal filled his ears and he looked around, thinking they were under attack by some sort of sonic weapon. He was about to grab Dot and Skippy and dive under the table when he saw his sister was bouncing up and down in her chair pointing.

Molly had arrived apparently. He looked over; the girl was in the doorway, bouncing up and down on her toes while pointing toward Dot. Also in the doorway was Ms. Cunningham, a much shorter brown bear wearing black pants with a white shirt and tie standing by her side. Also with them was a small duckling dressed all in yellow.

The little group spotted them and began to make their way toward their table, weaving their way through the throng of toon children. In the last few minutes, at least two dozen toon children must have arrived.

Yakko let out a somewhat relieved sigh. Dot could stop worrying that her friend had abandoned her; and it looked like the friend had even brought a friend. The boy, whom he knew to be Kit Cloudkicker, the newly adopted son of Rebecca Cunningham was his age and looked just as thrilled to be there as he was. To top it off, a flock of attractive teenaged girls had arrived so at least he had some eye candy.

Molly quickly stepped over to Dot and practically pounced on her in her glee. Still talking a mile a minute, she introduced the duckling as Webbigail something-or-another to all of them before hugging Dot. He actually hadn't recognized her, but she had grown some since her series went off the air. Not that it mattered much; he hadn't cared for it anyway.

He stood as Ms Cunningham came to his table. He hadn't had a lot of etiquette lessons, but he knew that much; Slappy had commented on his manners once when he had stood when she came toward him in the cafeteria. He didn't have the heart to tell her he was standing because he was going to get another soda and had just happened to glance in her direction when he was reaching in his pocket for change.

"Hi Molly, hi Ms. Cunningham."

The girl bounced over, jumping up to scream 'hi' in his face, then went back to bouncing around with Dot. The duck just stood to the side and watched, amused.

"Good evening Yakko. My, don't you look handsome?"

_Lady's got good taste. Nothing better than being complimented by an attractive woman._

"Yakko, I'd like you to meet my son Kit. Kit, this is Yakko, the other little boy I was telling you about."

_Little boy?_

Annoyed, Yakko felt a slight scowl on his features. It melted away though when he looked at Kit's face. Apparently, he wasn't happy at being referred to as a little boy either.

"Hey, how ya doing?" Kit muttered, thrusting his hand at Yakko.

"How's it going?" Yakko muttered back, shaking his hand as Ms. Cunningham beamed.

"I knew you two would be friends! "

_I just said hi - it doesn't make us best friends…_

"You boys have fun and behave. I'm going back to the lounge. Kit, keep an eye on your sister, make sure she stays safe."

Yakko watched her give both of them a big smile before walking toward the back where all the adults had disappeared to and felt like he had just been set up on a play date. He noticed Kit's eyes start to follow a girl that walked across the dance floor and he smirked. He had been looking at her awhile ago himself; at least Kit's mind was on the same thing his was.

The girl, a tall white bunny, glanced at both of them before disappearing into a door on the far side of the ballroom. Yakko had watched a few toons go over there now; when he got really bored he'd go over there and explore. Maybe there was something interesting over there he was missing.

"How's the food?" Kit asked.

Yakko shrugged. "Haven't eaten anything yet. Punch sucks though; it's so gritty I thought I was drinking sand."

"Same as it always is then. I'm wandering over to check the food; want to come?"

Yakko glanced over at Dot, who was sitting down talking to a hyper Molly and a much more subdued Webbigail and a grinning Skippy. Yakko looked at the boy again and shrugged; he figured Skippy would have wandered off to find some boys, but he seemed content to sit with the girls.

"Why not? Hold on. Hey Dot," he said, turning toward his sister, who was now looking at him with shining eyes. He knew that she was worried about not knowing anyone at this thing; you wouldn't believe it from the look on her face. "I'm going over there to get something to eat. Will you be OK here by yourself?"

_I can't leave her, what was I thinking?_

"Sure Yakko! I'm gonna stay right here-"

"No we're not," giggled Molly. "We're gonna eat! Then maybe we can find some other of my friends I want you to meet! Then we're gonna dance in one big group!" Molly gasped as Dot beamed, Webby watched in wide-eyed wonder, and Skippy looked hopeful. "I know! We can get some punch! I love the punch – I bet I could drink it all!"

"Ehhhhhhh, sounds great Molly, you do that."

_Last thing she needs is more sugar._

He thought about it again. If she managed to drink all the punch, the hosts of this little shindig might bring out something better.

"Dot, I'm going right over there," he added, pointing toward the far wall where the long tables laden with food were, the mystery door on one end, the small cluster of boys containing his brother at the other. Watching Max and Wakko run to one end of the table, do something and then run back to the cluster, he sincerely hoped they didn't just spike the punch or something.

"You want me to grab you anything? Something to eat?"

He couldn't just leave her there, especially with nothing could he?

"Sure Yakko, but I don't know what they have up-"

"Would you like me to get you some punch Dot?" Skippy asked, looking hopeful.

"You're such a gentlemen; I'd love some punch!" she exclaimed. "And cookies!" Turning back to Yakko, she said, "See, you can go off with your friend and I can stay with mine!"

With that, she threw him another wide grin and put her arm around the laughing Molly.

Both girls nodded their heads vigorously.

Hesitant, Yakko answered, "OK. Come find me or yell if you-"

"Look, they'll be fine," Kit said, grabbing his arm and leading him toward the table.

"Rebecca wouldn't let her come if these things got too wild."

Yakko cocked an eyebrow. "Rebecca? I thought she was Mom-"

Kit waved him off as they battled through the crowd of dancers and other children gathering in groups to talk. It would take them all night to get to the food tables; no wonder Wakko and the rest of the goofballs decided to set up camp in the corner. He hoped Wakko didn't go insane on the treats though; he had seen Wakko pop a few things in his mouth already including the super sugary punch.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable calling her Mom, and I doubt she would be comfortable with it either. She said I could call her whatever I felt comfortable with; Rebecca works for now. Maybe later it will be different." Cutting his eyes toward Yakko, he asked, "What about you? I saw that special you guys did; when's your series starting?"

"ToonTown premier is tomorrow; goes national in September."

"I know I'll be watching it. You guys have a crazy house; Rebecca and Molly told me all about your place."

_The rest of my life I'm going to be asked about living in a water tower aren't I?_

"Yeah, took me a few minutes to convince her that they weren't going to fall down the ladder."

Kit shrugged. "Can't blame her really; toons like her can't really bounce can they?"

"Like her-"

"Yeah; you don't think she has Schlesinger Syndrome do you? No, she's not talented in that area. Molly is, but she's still too young to be able to do that."

"Really? I never heard her mention it when she was talking to Dot; not that I paid that much attention to their riveting conversations."

_Dolls, horses, dresses...just oodles of mind-numbing, soul sucking boredom._

"Oh yeah, I hear more than I care to; if I'm lucky I don't have to go with them dress shopping and give my manly opinion," Kit laughed.

Finally reaching the table, Yakko looked at the layout of the food as Kit continued to talk about his new family; come to find out, Ms. Cunningham was not married to her co-star as he had originally thought. The food didn't look bad, which was fine with him. If they weren't going to keep him entertained, the least they could do would be to feed him well. The music was getting worse; currently they were playing 'Sugar Sugar'.

"Wish they'd realize everyone at these things aren't teeny boppers," Kit grumbled, thrusting a fork in a piece of ham and dropping it on his plate. "Be nice if they played something from the last decade." Turning to Yakko, he asked, "What music you like?"

_Damn._

Yakko looked at him, unsure what to say. He had heard some of the current hits on the radio while getting makeup and costuming done, or between takes. He wasn't sure of names or groups. When he went anywhere with Bugs or Slappy, they usually had oldies on. He felt so outdated.

Figuring he'd better take a whack at naming something, he finally said, "Rolling Stones. The Who. Beatles."

_Classics, everyone likes them. I have got to watch MTV more often; I'm the only almost thirteen-year-old that couldn't name three hit songs from the last year, but can give a run down of every song The Osmonds ever did._

Kit nodded, giving him a small grin. "Good choices. All rock legends. How about Nirvana? You into them?"

"Never heard them," Yakko answered. He had thought of nodding, but if the boy wanted to discuss songs, he'd be screwed. As it was he felt like an idiot, especially at Kit's incredulous look.

"You've never heard them? Oh man, you've got to grab their album – it's deep. And Pearl Jam – their song 'Jeremy' is one of the greatest songs of the twentieth century!"

_Boy sure is enthusiastic._

"I'll have to check them out. I like Babes in Toyland-"

Kit almost dropped his plate. "You do? Why? They're-"

"-hot," Yakko said, shrugging. He had seen their videos on MTV a few times now; they were hot.

"Can't argue there," Kit agreed. "But no discernable talent."

"No, but if you turn the volume down when their videos are on, they're great."

Kit laughed, agreeing with his assessment before he began to talk about other bands and load his plate up. Yakko nodded at the correct parts, content to listen for once. The boy knew the current music trends; who was in, who was out.

All he knew was that he needed to get three albums: 'Ten', 'Nevermind' and 'Badmotorfinger'. Not even remembering who the bands were, he added the album titles to his mental list. Usually at the end of the week, he and Bugs would go off lot for a few hours to shop, get something to eat, just get away from the studio, whatever.

Bugs told Plotz they were 'field trips'; since neither Plotz or anyone else from the studio ever questioned a thing the rabbit said, Bugs had taken him to all sorts of interesting places. They may have not been on the official studio curriculum, but as long as he learned something, Bugs said he didn't see any harm. Everyone needed a break. But maybe Bugs could take him to a music store; he wouldn't mind having something different to listen to.

Kit started talking about his passion; motocross. While apparently Ms. Cunningham wasn't thrilled with it, thinking it to dangerous for him, he loved it and had competed in several junior league races. Kit was also into skateboarding and was just dying to try parasailing. That didn't surprise Yakko; he'd already pegged Kit as an adrenaline junkie.

"Wanna see a photo of my bike?"

"Sure, why not?" Yakko said. "Anything's better than trying to contemplate this song."

Bikes didn't really interest him, that was actually more Wakko's thing, but the guy was being friendly. If nothing else, it was distracting him from listening to the wretched music being played; currently 'The Electric Boogie'. The song just didn't wear on his nerves; it was slowly shredding them.

Out on the dance floor, several giggling girls were attempting to do the line dance that accompanied the song, dancing around the two couples still making out in the middle of the floor. He noticed Dot and Webby trying to follow Molly's movements as she danced and bopped next to their table. He shook his head as they got up and began to dance beside Molly, Skippy finally abandoning his seat and joining them as well. He finally shrugged, as long as he wasn't required to 'Boogie Woogie Woogie', he would be content to watch.

"Here we go," Kit said, pulling a few photos out of his hammerspace.

Yakko blinked; he wasn't aware that Kit had a hammerspace. So, Kit was talented; cool. Explains where he was hiding that 'airfoil' thing on the show. And here he was all this time thinking Kit was some sort of weird-ass marsupial.

Kit handed him several pictures of a bright green bike.

"It's a '93 Suzuki RM250. Got a FMX fatty pipe and silencer, modified rear suspension, sounds great, looks great."

Yakko looked at the pictures; one showed Kit riding the bike, both covered in mud. Another showed him holding up a trophy, a third had him standing beside the bike, wearing a bright blue uniform with the word 'O'Neil' emblazoned across the chest.

Yakko nodded. "You look great, so does the bike."

_I've got to get Wakko to explain this stuff to me one of these days._

"So does she. Don't look now Warner, but you've got an admirer," Kit said, giving him a nudge.

Yakko looked up; the platinum blond cat from earlier was making eyes at him from the dance floor where she was currently dancing with several other girls. Yakko looked back at her; she was a vision. And if a girl was going to be making eyes at him, he was happy it was a pretty girl.

"Go talk to her man; that's what we're here for."

Yakko smirked. "To pick up girls?"

"To meet and greet other toons. Though if she was looking at me like that, the only thing meeting would be our lips."

Yakko started laughing; he and Kit definitely thought along the same line.

"I don't know, she's with all her friends…"

He wasn't shy, but he had a genuine worry of going out there, getting blown off and looking like a fool. That would not improve this evening.

"Warner. You wimp."

_Wimp?_

"You were on TV - you've got a show premiering tomorrow night. Hell, she probably watched that special - everyone else in ToonTown did. Are you dense? She wants you - go talk to her."

_I've got my own little pep squad._

Yakko thought about it. Nervous, he felt his feet starting to move in that direction, hearing Kit's words of encouragement still ringing in his ears. But something miraculous happened…the vision began walking toward him, abandoning all her friends on the dance floor to come toward him. He stopped, mostly because he tripped. He winced when he heard several crackers slide off his plate.

_Suave Yakko; that'll impress her._

"My man!" Kit cheered, slapping him hard on the back and sending even more crackers onto the floor. "Even better - make her come to you!"

_Kit reads too much into things._

But she was coming to him, slowly sauntering across the floor, her long white hair framing the light golden-furred face. Her slim body was encased in a short black mini-skirt and red satin blouse so tight he knew she couldn't be breathing normally.

No way, she wasn't heading toward him, he was standing next to the food table. She was coming to grab a bit to eat, that's all. He was as bad as Kit, reading into-

"Hi."

_She's here, she's standing right in front of me and talking to me-_

"Um..hi."

_Brilliant Yakko. You're a real Casanova._

"Uh…you look really nice."

_Come up with something Yakko, you're the talker remember?_

"I'm Yakko-"

"I know," she sighed, cuddling up to him. "I saw your show thing. My name's Evelyn Bromista."

"You here with anyone tonight?" he managed to ask, feeling her tail curling around his waist.

"No," she said, her mouth forming into a delicate little moue, "I came alone."

_Thank God._

Yakko watched Kit give him a 'thumbs-up', then begin to walk toward a pretty tan bearess that had been dancing with Evelyn's little group. Kit talked to the girl for a second, grinned, and they both headed off, their arms around each other's waists. He watched them disappear through the door at the other end of the buffet.

"It's a nice dance isn't it?"

Yakko looked at her. "Too many little kids; it's improved tremendously in the last few minutes."

Evelyn giggled, leaning in to rub her petite pink nose on his. "You're a sweetie - I knew it the moment I saw you on that show."

_Oh thank God for that documentary._

"But there are too many children here...maybe we can go somewhere where we can be more alone?"

Evelyn leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, then a longer one before whispering that she wanted to get to know him a little better. Yakko, noticing that she tasted like honey, felt his eyes widening at what he hoped she was implying and was about to order everyone out of the ballroom.

"Come on, let's go over here; we'll leave the dance floor to the little kids."

Evelyn giggled and began walking off, leading him toward the mystery door, twining her tail around his. He felt like an idiot - he had seen some of the older kids going through the door. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out what was going on behind the door.

Yakko looked around quickly. Wakko was still hiding in the corner with the rest of the younger boys. He'd be fine.

Across the ballroom, Dot was still dancing with Molly, Webby and Skippy to the current atrocious song, 'Achey Breaky Heart'. The DJ should be shot.

"Look, hold on for one second Evelyn-"

"What?"

Yakko looked at her, surprised to see annoyance marring her pretty features.

"I need to check on my siblings-"

"Oh, all right," she sighed. "But hurry."

_No problem._

"Sure, sure - be right back."

Yakko quickly dashed across the dance floor, trying to avoid knocking into any dancers, and skidded to a stop in front of Dot.

"Dot, Dot," he panted, bending over and trying to catch his breath.

"What Yakko? I told you I wouldn't move." She looked at him with a curious expression. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah Yakko - you OK?" Molly asked, stopping her dance to jump into his face. She reached out and laid her hand on his forehead. "You feel hot and you look funny; you got a tummy ache?"

"I got an ache, but it's not in my tummy." Seeing their curious looks, he mentally smacked himself. "Look, I'm going through that door for a few minutes, OK? Right through there," he said, pointing toward the door. "I'll be right back, OK? You'll be OK?"

"How many times can you say OK Yakko? What's through the door?"

_Hopefully second base._

"Ehhhhh, nothing much-"

"Can we come?" Skippy asked.

"No!"

"Calm down Yakko, we don't want to go; we're gonna stay here, drink more punch and dance!" Molly cheered. "We're having fun right here!"

"That's great Molly - you do that - drink dance and punch at every song. Dot, I'll be back - Wakko's hiding in the corner - I'll be back - bye!"

Planting a quick kiss on his stunned sister's forehead, he ran back across the dance floor to where Evelyn was waiting impatiently and grabbed her hand as she told him she adored a guy that took care of his family.

And he had been thinking the function wasn't going to be any fun.

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko leaned against the wall between Plucky and Max, hoping his two friends would shield him from the girls. Taking a sip of his punch and popping another petit four into his mouth, he wondered how much all the different foods were going to mess up his glucose readings. Yakko typically didn't have a cow if they were a little off; saying that while he should be watching what he ate he knew it was difficult to do it all the time. With as much new and odd stuff as he had eaten tonight though, he had a feeling his readings were going to be way off. Yakko might have a cow after all.

Wakko wasn't sure he cared; he was still annoyed with him. Because they would be leaving the function so late, Yakko wouldn't let him stay over at Buster's tonight. Yakko said no one had learned all their lines or bothered to do any of their assignments, he didn't think this weekend would be good.

Wakko sighed and looked around wondering where Yakko had disappeared to. He had been sitting at a table near the front; he and Buster had hidden up there earlier from a few of the girls that wanted to dance. They had also hoped to get some words of advice from Yakko about how to get the girls to leave them alone.

Yakko hadn't had any helpful hints for them though; instead he had said to dance with them. They had left the table a few minutes later when Babs and Elmyra had spotted them, quickly heading toward the back corner with the rest of the boys who hadn't lost their minds.

Yakko had disappeared after that. The last time he and Max had dashed to the other end of the table to grab more ham and biscuits for everyone he hadn't seen him sitting at the table with Dot and her friends nor was he out on the floor dancing.

He let out a slight shudder; dancing. Already two little girls - not to mention Babs and Elmyra - had wandered over to their side of the wall, asking him to dance much to his embarrassment and the other boys' delight. They'd been riding his ass all night about just being asked; if he actually went out and danced he'd hear about it the rest of his life.

He sighed hearing Plucky make a kissing noise and look in his direction. If the duck made one more comment about him being asked to dance, he was going to mallet him straight through the floor. Buster had walked off a few minutes ago, saying he had spotted a friend he wanted Wakko to meet and he'd return soon.

Wakko was happy that at least Max and Plucky were there even if they were getting on his nerves. Even Hampton the nerd was welcome; anything to keep from having to talk to the girls. According to Plucky, the girls always got weird at these things; more giggly than normal, wanting to dance and hug a lot and tell all the boys how cute they were.

_Girls are weird. _

Max was cramming cheese in his mouth like a demented rat while Hampton was trying to tell all of them about some new recipe he found. Wakko looked up and let out a relieved breath; Buster was coming back, looking behind him worriedly while a toon coyote in a blue shirt and black tie walked beside him, snickering.

Wakko smirked; Buster at least knew some of his sorrow. He also had been assaulted by a few girls - including Babs and Elmyra - wanting to dance. He had to admit his friend looked sharp in his black suit and tie. He kinda reminded Wakko of an undertaker.

"Awesome - Calamity's here," Max said. "You haven't met him yet mime; he's been out of town for quite a while doing some extended studying."

"Extended studying?" Wakko grimaced. "Who wants to do that?"

"Nerds," Plucky put in. "But he's actually cool-"

"-not a nerd like Hambone over there," Max said, gesturing to the pig. "He's just a damn geek."

Wakko couldn't argue with that. He had tried to talk to Hampton a few times, but the pig always made him uneasy. There was such a thing as being too good; he had never met a boy who was so concerned about not breaking any rule whatsoever. He knew Max didn't like him. He was surprised that Plucky talked to him; the duck liked to break the rules himself.

Buster worked his way though the crowd of nameless boys surrounding them, heading toward Wakko. He watched him, wondering why Buster was waving his hands all over the place while he talked; he looked like he was having an episode.

"Hey guys, look who I found!" Buster said.

"Hey Calamity," Max said, thrusting his plate at Wakko before making a hand movement while he turned toward the toon.

"What's up man?" Plucky added putting his plate on top of Wakko's before turning toward the other toon.

"Hey Wak, this is Calamity. Calamity, this is Wakko, guy I was telling you about,"

Buster said, turning toward the coyote while still waving his hands. Wakko watched all this while balancing everyone's plates in his hands and wondering why they all turned their backs toward him. It seemed an odd way to introduce someone.

Figuring he'd try to be friendly, he said, "Hi Calamity, nice to meet you."

The coyote didn't answer, just looked at Max.

_Jerk._

"Um, yeah, seen you on the show, you were pretty funny…"

Wakko trailed off, annoyed, and put the plates down on the table. Why Buster had made such a big deal about introducing him he didn't know. This kid seemed unfriendly.

_Maybe he was having a bad day he thought_, remembering that Buster, Plucky and Max had all seemed like jerks when he had first met them.

Deciding to try one more time, he said, "Yeah, I really like the short where you-"

"He can't hear you dumbass. Hold on for a second," Max said, finally turning around.

"What's that mean? I'm talking as loud as I usually do."

"He doesn't mean that Wak," Buster said, finally turning toward him. "Calamity can't hear."

"He's deaf dude - couldn't you tell?" Max said.

"If I could I wouldn't have been talking would I?" Wakko retorted. "Retard."

"Oh yeah, I'm the tard, you're the one whose been talking and getting pissy-"

"I'm not pissy you ass, but you could have said-"

"Guys, knock it off," Buster said, stepping between them. "Max, you're an ass; you're always an ass. Wakko, Calamity can't hear you because he's deaf - profoundly deaf. Now, that make you feel better?"

_Profoundly deaf? What's that mean?_

"No, I would have felt better if you'd said something sooner."

_What the hell; was I supposed to guess or something?_

"Thought you would have figured it out; we were signing."

"I've never seen sign language before! Besides, he can't be deaf - I've heard him talk on the show before - only a couple times but still-"

"Voice over. He can't talk Wakko," Buster said. "Well, he can but not really…eh, I'll explain later. Damn you're hardheaded sometimes."

"I wouldn't be if I had friends who told me what the hell was happening."

Buster started to speak again, but stopped when the coyote tapped on his shoulder, grabbing his attention. The rabbit turned, looked at the coyote's hands and nodded.

"Calamity said hi, nice to meet you, he's heard good things and your sho-"

"That's nice; I can only imagine what you've been saying about me."

"Nothing that wasn't true inksplot," Plucky said, turning to look at him. "Think we'd lie?" he added, batting his eyes at him.

Wakko rolled his eyes and muttered, "In a heartbeat."

Not knowing what to do, Wakko finally looked at the coyote and held his hand out to shake it. He didn't need to know sign language for that. Thankfully the boy took his hand and gave him a grin and a firm shake.

"Don't worry mime, we'll translate for you. Who knows; maybe you'll pick up a few words," Max said, coming back to stand beside him while crossing his arms and smirking before adding, "Then again, it's you…never mind."

"Up yours Monty."

"Will you two idiots stop fighting?" Buster said. "Wak, everyone's staying at my place tonight - you want in?"

He had finally been allowed to stay at Buster's house last week. After over a month of showing Mr. Bunny what to do, Yakko had finally seemed comfortable enough to let him go for the weekend. The weekend had gone off without a hitch; Yakko had shown Mr. Bunny every trick and tip he knew, and the older rabbit's needle injection was just as smooth and almost pain free as Yakko's. But not this weekend; Wakko chose not to complain too much; at least Yakko was loosening the restrictions on him.

"Can't; Yakko wants me home this weekend-"

"Bummer."

Calamity who had been watching the conversation as the other's signed to him suddenly widened his eyes and began signing himself very quickly.

After a few moments, Plucky nodded and said, "Calamity said he wants to meet Yakko and Dot. He said he liked the documentary - the show looks awesome."

Wakko threw a grin to Calamity. "Tell him I said thanks."

"Tell him yourself," Buster said. "Like this."

Buster touched his lips with the front of his fingers on his right hand and then moved his hand away from his face, his palm upward. Wakko followed the motions, getting a thumbs up from the laughing Calamity.

"Close enough," Buster said.

"Give me a break Bunny – I've never done this before."

"Take a class; we did."

_Extra classes...back to this again?_

"Maybe. Where'd you learn it anyway?"

"They had a translator on set whenever Calamity was there," Plucky said, signing so the other boy was not left out. "All of us picked up a little from them. Most of us just went to a class; quicker and easier to learn."

Wakko made a mental note to ask Yakko about it later. He wasn't excited with the idea of having yet another class to worry about, but he wanted to be able to talk to Calamity. He didn't like the idea of the others translating for him, and the others routinely hung out with him when he was around.

Apparently the coyote was extremely brainy, the child of two archeologists and frequently went with them when they traveled to the far flung corners of the globe. They had all just returned from Colorado where Calamity's father had been part of an excavation team working on exploring and documenting findings of some new cliff dwellings from the ancient Pueblo people.

But Calamity was back in ToonTown for the moment, and if he was going to be running into the boy often, he'd like to be able to do more than just wave at him.

Spotting a familiar and most unwelcome figure near Dot's table, he slowed, watching.

_Isn't that Dirtwing's daughter? And the fat kid, he was from the show too…they just couldn't get away from that guy._

"What's up Wak?"

Wakko turned to look at Buster. "Looks like a few bullies are giving my sister a hard time. Maybe tell Calamity I'll introduce him later; I need to go see what's going on since Yakko's gone missing."

"Let you have all the fun?" Buster said. "No way! I know the boy; he's a bully, but strong as shit. You don't want to-"

"I can handle myself Bus-"

"Not saying you can't mime," Max said, coming between them and slinging an arm around both of their shoulders. "But Buster's right - none of us like him. Even when we were younger he was huge and liked to toss any of us smaller ones around. Not to mention, he likes to make fun of Calamity. Calamity doesn't care…but we do."

"This is just an excuse to fight isn't it?" Wakko asked.

"Kinda," Buster said sheepishly.

"Brat's a problem though," Max mused. "I'm a low SOB but even I won't hit a girl…even when she kicks the shit out of me," he finished off with a mutter.

_Max had scruples. Who knew?_

"OK, we don't hit girls…but I bet I can find someone who can," Buster said slyly.

Looking to where he had directed his gaze, Wakko saw Elmyra and Babs watching them.

_Holy Hell, we just got away from them and now he's inviting them back over?_

"Trust me inky," Buster drawled, interpreting his thoughts. "Go stall fatboy, we'll be there in a second. Hurry up, he's harassing the kid."

Wakko nodded as he watched the larger boy pick up Skippy and hoped Buster knew what he was doing. They had finally discouraged the girls from following them around; that stupid rabbit better not do anything that would get them chasing them again.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Boys are silly._

Dot took a sip of her punch while watching Yakko run across the ballroom floor toward a pretty blond cat. Meanwhile, Skippy scurried off to get more cookies and cake for all of them.

When she said she wanted more cookies, she hadn't meant for him to fall out of his chair in his hurry to go get her some. She felt sorry for him; he was one of the youngest boys there and didn't seem to know anyone. He was sort of shy, hardly speaking to Yakko or Wakko in the car.

But with Yakko talking to Slappy almost the entire ride and Wakko uninterested in any attempt by Skippy at conversation, he had finally turned to her. She had felt sorry for him, seeing the desperation in his eyes. Before she had met Molly she had felt the same way; sad, lonely, wanting so much to join the current conversation but being unable to. She wasn't extremely shy though; Skippy was.

She had talked to him in the car, slowly drawing the boy out of his shell. Almost six months older than her, he had lived with his aunt since his parents had left. He didn't elaborate and she didn't push him. He hadn't asked much beyond where her parents were, accepting her short explanation of her mother was dead, she didn't know anything about her father; Yakko had always taken care of her and Wakko.

He had shyly said he liked Yakko. His aunt really liked him, and the few times they had been on set together Yakko had always come over and talked to Skippy for a few minutes, trying to make him feel welcome and important. Dot felt a surge of respect and gratitude for her oldest brother and had looked at him in the front seat with Slappy.

Yakko had been in a conversation with Slappy about the Second World War. Yakko had picked up a sudden fascination with history and was avidly listening to Slappy talk about how ToonTown had banded together to help the war effort.

Some toons had wanted to enlist and fight, but the Government had said they would be a bigger help in other ways. Some, like Bugs, Donald, Snafu and Daffy, even the Seven Dwarves among others had all volunteered their time to help sell War Bonds or making promotional or instructional films on a variety of subjects. Slappy herself had worked in a war bond office helping to sell them. Other lesser known but talented toons had been recruited to help with spying, smuggling notes and plans across enemy lines, or entertaining the troops.

Dot had watched him for a few seconds while Skippy sung his praises; often when he was worried about something he looked much older than he should. That hadn't happened a lot lately; she had vague memories of their life before coming to the lot. Yakko always tried not to show it to her and Wakko, but he frequently was worried and stressed, his eyebrows always furrowed as he tried to decide what to do next.

More often now, he looked younger, more like the child he was. Right that second he had been listening to Slappy, his eyes wide, legs curled under him with his chin propped on his hand while he leaned on the center console of the vehicle.

Yakko was always the oldest; the one her and Wakko went to for comfort, protection or advice; rarely did he get to just relax and enjoy himself like he had been doing with Slappy. She wondered if he ever got scared; who did he go to? She and Wakko were lucky; they could go to him; but who could he go to?

She had then looked at her other brother, sitting to her right. Wakko had been leaning against the window, bored with both conversations taking place around him. While almost as clever as Yakko, he wasn't as smart or mature. Amused with loud burping, video games and running around with his friends, Wakko seemed to either be in trouble or finding new and unusual ways to create it. And she had to give it to him, he was creative.

While most of his pranks were extremely amusing if they weren't directed toward her, she rarely went to him for advice. Sometimes she was jealous of him; easy going and talented, Wakko seemed to draw people toward him whether he intended to or not. While she had been upset that he had met his friends first and then spent less time with her, she hadn't been surprised. If she wanted to play with him, it made sense that other kids would want to as well. Sometimes she wished she could be more like him.

Watching him making faces at other people in passing cars and laughing at their stunned expressions, she thought maybe she didn't want to be exactly like him. Yakko turned, saw what he was doing and bopped him on the head before turning back to Slappy. Wakko rubbed his head, shot a smile at her before he commenced making faces, this time at Yakko. While amusing, she realized that there was quite a few other times she was glad that she wasn't quite so much like him.

Wakko was her brother that could make her laugh; a partner in crime at times, a pain in her cute fluffy tail in others. Yakko could almost always amuse her; the brain, the protector, the leader, the authority figure. She loved both equally, but both filled different niches in her life.

While she was musing about her brothers, Molly was still talking, this time to Webby about her. Yakko said he liked Molly, but she talked a lot. Dot didn't see where Yakko could say that; he talked a lot too. Wakko said she was OK for a girl, but he'd like her a lot more if she came with a mute button. She wasn't able to Fritz a pie yet, so she settled for throwing her slice of cake at him.

That hadn't been her smartest move. Not only did she miss, Yakko make her help clean the mess up and that had been the last slice of cake too.

_Stupid Wakko._

Hearing Molly mentioning her name again as she continued to chat to the duckling, Dot turned to look at her. Dot had only met Webby awhile ago, and she already liked her. The duckling was staying with Molly for the weekend and had ridden to _The Caselotti _with the Cunninghams'. She was ten times more reserved than Molly, but was just as pleasant. She lived in Wishing Star District with her parents, but Ms. Beakley was actually her grandmother.

"- but anyway, Webby, I told you that Dot's going to be on TV tomorrow night! Isn't that great?"

"Yes, it's really great Molly," Webby agreed. "But she's been on TV already." Turning to

Dot, she said, "I saw the making-of and behind the scenes documentary; I really liked it." Laughing, she added, "Though I noticed that they stuck you in pink as well-"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Molly questioned. "They always stick us in pink! There are other colors."

"I like pink," Dot said. "Besides Molly, you didn't wear a lot of pink – most of your costume was purple! And you got to wear blue ribbons – I have that tacky flower."

"Oh yeah," Molly mused. "Guess I was luckier than you two. Though neither of you have your underwear sticking out of your costumes."

"I will soon if they don't decide to give me a new skirt," muttered Dot. "The one I'm currently wearing is too short."

"My mother said that they like the little pink skirts on us," Webby said after she had finished her punch. "Makes us look more cutsey and little-girl like."

"I don't mind looking cute," Dot argued. "But I can look cute in other colors." She sighed. "Maybe I can convince someone in wardrobe to do something."

"Good luck with that," Molly muttered. "I tried. Once I even stole one of my costumes and tried dyeing it at home – Mom was mad because there was black dye all over the washer and she couldn't use it. I even got a-"

"Honestly, no one seems to like their costumes much," Webby said, cutting Molly off and putting her hand on Dot's shoulder. "At least most of the cast I worked with didn't. The nephews hated their caps-"

Dot shrugged. "My brother likes his costume. He's still amused by the fact that he doesn't have to wear pants." After thinking for a few seconds, she added, "Come to think of it, most of his friends like their costumes too; they don't wear pants either."

Molly giggled again before saying, "Boys are goofy; they get amused by silly things. Except Yakko; he's not really silly at all; he's really-"

Molly was cut of as Skippy came running back, hands full of plates of cookies, cakes and other sweets, along with chips and carrot sticks. Dot looked at them; if nothing else, Skippy was thorough. If he wasn't sure, he just grabbed at least one of everything.

"Here Dot, I got everything that would fit on the plate," Skippy said, sticking them all in front of her. "If you don't want anything here, I can go get more-"

"No, No!" she said hurriedly while trying to ignore Webby and Molly's giggling. "This will do...just...sit down Skippy, this is great."

_Boys. Maybe he'd be better when he got older. Molly was right – he was silly._

"He likes you," Molly whispered loudly. "Maybe he'll kiss you-"

"Spew!" Skippy exclaimed while blushing. "I'm not kissing her!"

"What? I'm not good enough to kiss?" Dot demanded. She really didn't want a kiss, but really, did he have to say 'spew' at the thought?

"Uh...no...not that...um..." Skippy stammered before slowly trailing off, still blushing at the giggling girls.

Dot finally joined in, amused.

"Here Skippy, I'll settle for you eating some of these cookies," she said, pushing a plate toward him.

"Oh, what do they want?" muttered Webby.

"Who? Oh hurray," Molly said, crinkling her muzzle.

Dot looked in the direction that her two friends were looking, seeing a couple of familiar faces.

Gosalyn Mallard and Tank Muddlefoot.

Frowning, she noticed that both were heading toward their table. Gosalyn was actually glaring at them, or more specifically her. Dot quickly racked her brain.

She had never met Gosalyn before; why was she staring at her like she just killed someone? She had never done anything to the duck. She knew there was some 'bad blood' between her brothers and Gosalyn's father, but she had never found out why. The most Yakko would say was that Darkwing was a judgmental idiot that couldn't see what was going on past his gigantic ego. Wakko had said 'Darkwing was an asshole whose ego was so big he needed to kick Launchpad out of the side car so he could haul the damn thing around'.

Dot had thought that statement was hilarious; Yakko didn't. While agreeing with Wakko's colorful statement, Yakko got back on his no swearing kick and made him scrub the kitchen floor as punishment. Yakko refused to tell her anything about why Darkwing hated them so much. Wakko wouldn't either, simply stating that Yakko was making him scrub the floor for a comment and he was letting him use a sponge. If he told her anything about that, Yakko would probably make him scrub the outside of the tower...with his tongue.

Her brothers could be so irritating at times. Darkwing hated her too; she'd like to at least know why.

The larger boy, Tank, was following slightly behind Gosalyn, his slow lumbering steps in sharp contrast to her lighter tread. He wasn't glaring, more like smirking. As far as Dot knew, she had never done anything to him either.

"What is with these Disney Ducks? Are they all insane?" she mumbled.

"A-hem."

"Oh, sorry Webby – present company excluded of course."

"Of course. Don't worry; Gosalyn can rub people the wrong way."

"She looks like she wants to rub me out," Dot muttered to her. "I've never even met her."

"She can be a little brash and-"

Whatever Webby was going to say was cut off as the red-haired girl came up to them.

"Hi Webbigail; hi ya Molly," she greeted them in a warm tone.

Dot let out a relieved sigh; the girl sounded friendly enough. Maybe-

"See that you're slumming tonight." Looking at Dot, she continued. "I didn't think they let your kind in here. Hope they hid the silverware."

_So much for sounding friendly._

"Nice way to represent the studio's image," Webby drawled. "You could try being nice, pulling up a chair and-"

"I'll let you handle all the goody-goody sugar coated crap," Gosalyn interrupted before looking at Dot. "Whatcha plan on stealing tonight?"

Dot heard the others' sharp intake of breath while Tank laughed and she recoiled like the girl had slapped her.

"I don't even know what that's supposed to mean Carrot-Top." she shot back.

"Oh of course you do," Gosalyn argued. "I've heard about you-

"Come on girls, please-" Webby said, starting to stand up.

"Gosalyn, just sit down and have some punch," Molly added, holding up a cup. "Look – it's cherry flavored...matches your hair..."

Skippy was eyeing Tank, worried but returning the larger boys stare.

"You know what it means. Dad says you're a bunch of criminals – he knows your brothers were stealing-"

Dot was already coming out of the chair before the word 'criminal' was out of the duck's beak. She had to wonder why they Mallard family kept insisting they were all criminals and thieves. Darkwing was a liar and so was his daughter, and she was insulting her and her family in front of her friends. She wasn't going to just sit there and-

"Hold on Dot," Webby said, grabbing her arm and yanking her back in her seat. "Gosalyn, that's such a nasty thing to say – even for you!"

"Yeah Gos, that's a - oh look!" she exclaimed before grabbing something off the plate. "Here's a cookie with red sprinkles – they match your hair too! You want some with the punch? Here, have some punch, it'll make you feel better."

Dot watched as she leaned forward in her chair, holding a cup of punch and a cookie. Catching Webby's eye she gave a slight nod. Webby pushed Dot to the side, almost knocking her out of her chair while banging the table with her leg. Molly let go of the cup and tossed it. The cup of punch went sailing, the contents spilling on Gosalyn.

Tank had backed up and most of the spill missed going on his shirt, though Dot figured it didn't matter much. His shirt and tie seemed to be a road map of what he had eaten since putting the clothing on.

"You stupid jackass!" Gosalyn screamed, looking at the punch stain on the front of her sea foam green dress and the beverage pooling on the floor at her feet. "Look at this! I'm so sending you my cleaning bill."

"Whoops," Molly giggled. In a nasally tone she added, "Did I do that?"

Looking at her and trying to hide her grin, Dot turned to look at Gosalyn again. Now she wasn't sure if she still wanted to punch Gosalyn in her beak or sit back and laugh at the expression on her face. She shot both her friends grateful smiles; Webby had prevented her from trying to fight the girl and making a fool out of herself, and Molly seemed to have defused the situation with a trite but timely gag.

_Having friends is the greatest._

"Gee, Gosalyn," Skippy said kindly. "That was a really pretty dress; maybe if you-"

"Shut up you bushy-tailed coward," Tank said, finally stepping forward.

"I was only saying that she should try to get the stain out now," Skippy continued.

Dot looked at him; he was so little compared to the older boy, but he appeared to be trying to hold his own. And Wakko thought he was a weenie – she couldn't wait to tell him about this.

"Great advice," Tank said. "Hey Gos, Spick-N-Span here said you need to clean your dress-"

"I'd rather clean his clock," she growled, stalking toward him, Tank coming around Skippy's chair on the other side. "He's probably in her little gang."

Dot watched this, half amused and half worried. Gosalyn apparently had some 'anger-management' issues that she should have addressed.

Webby and Molly had worked to protect her from looking like an idiot, or worse, getting her butt kicked. Yakko had said many times boys shouldn't ever hit girls, but sometimes they still did. Tank looked like the type that would. She really didn't want to fight him; situations like this, she wished she was older and had her mallet. Or a nice brick. Tank could probably beat all four of them at the table and not even break a sweat.

But she spied a group slowly making its way across the dance floor, and most of the members of that group wouldn't have any problems taking care of Tank.

Wakko might fight with her, but he'd never let anyone lay a hand on her. She felt a grin split her face and caught Molly's eye, nodding her head to the left. She looked, saw the group and smiled back. Skippy and Webby had also noticed them.

"I'm so sorry Gosalyn," Molly said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"It'll be OK," Dot added with a smirk. "I've heard K-mart has an excellent return policy."

"I didn't get this at K-Mart dog face."

"Hard to tell," Dot said. "It looked cheap…but then, so do you-"

"Wanna say that in my face?" Gosalyn asked, pushing up the sleeve on her right arm.

"And deal with your halitosis? No thanks."

Dot was gratified to hear Skippy, Webby and Molly laughing.

"Probably just afraid to try to fight," Gosalyn said. "What's wrong little girl, scared? Maybe you wanna find your brothers and sick them on me?"

"Not really," she said. "I'd take great pleasure in mopping up the floor with you myself."

Gosalyn made a deep grumbling sound in her throat and stalked toward her. Dot put her hand on the table, grabbing a plastic fork. Gosalyn was a little taller than her and a few years older, probably close to Wakko's age. She knew the duck was good at sports, or she was supposed to be anyway, meaning she was probably fast and strong.

However, Dot knew she had an advantage herself; having to deal with two older brothers. She only play wrestled with Yakko and rarely did her fights with Wakko get physical, but she had learned a few tricks about fighting dirty over the years.

Tank had put his hand around Skippy's neck and lifted him up, eliciting a short yelp from him. Dot went from feeling smug to worried; she didn't see Wakko in the crowd, or any of his stupid friends. She stood in her chair; even standing she wasn't quite as tall as Tank.

_Darn…Where's Wakko? Figures, when I need him-_

"Hey," Wakko said, popping up behind Tank. "Looks like you made some new friends." Looking at Tank when he dropped Skippy and turned toward him, he said, "This one's really ugly too. Jeeze Dot, don't you have any taste?"

Dot felt so relieved she almost sank to the floor, totally ignoring his crack about her friends. Wakko, her sometimes knight in tarnished armor had shown up.

"Another Warner thief," said Gosalyn. "Hey thief, why don't you hand over some of your stolen loot - you can use it to replace my dress your stupid sister ruined."

"Gosalyn - Dot didn't ruin it, I did," Molly said. Looking at Wakko, she added, "I've got Butterfingers."

"I love those!" Wakko exclaimed. "Can I have one?"

_Wakko was such an idiot sometimes._

Tank stepped toward Wakko, balling his fist. "I've got four fingers you can have-"

"Don't take them Wak; his fingers are probably just covered in grease from when he was gorging himself on ham and turkey at the food tables."

Everyone turned to see Buster standing behind Webby's chair, smirking. Looking around, Dot saw Max, Plucky, and a toon coyote she hadn't met standing around their table.

"That is one fat duck," Max said, looking at Tank for a second before turning to Plucky. "Even your ass isn't that fat."

"Kiss my not as fat ass Monty," Plucky said happily. "He is a girthy fellow though isn't he?"

"I'm not fat!" Tank growled. "You wanna try saying that again?"

"Sure. You're fat. So fat you make sumo wrestlers look anorexic," Max said. Turning to the others he added, "Too much fat in his ears."

"Probably food stuck in there from when he had his head shoved down in his plate eating like a horse at a trough," Buster agreed.

Dot started giggling, hearing the others joining in. Wakko's friends were just as obnoxious as he was, but at least they were funny.

"So fat his bellybutton's got an echo," Wakko said.

"So fat he was born with a silver shovel in his mouth," countered Max.

"So fat he has a greater gravitational pull than a black hole," Plucky said. "That was from Calamity."

The coyote toon waved cheerfully at everyone.

"Why don't you go back to the buffet table now?" Buster asked. "Wakko can lead you there. Hey Wak, fritz a Twinkie and throw it toward the table; he'll follow."

"I'd rather throw it into traffic," Wakko said.

"Don't do that man," Max said, trying to look horrified and failing miserably. "Someone innocent might get hurt."

"Doubt that," Plucky said. "But seeing lard ass there sitting in a hospital getting a VW Bug taken out of his stomach would make my night."

_That paints such a weird yet vivid picture in my mind._

"Enough fat jokes guys," Buster said. "Wak, hurry up and kick this guys ass so we can get on with our night."

"Him? Yeah right," Tank laughed. "I'll shove my foot up his ass then move on to yours-"

Before Tank could finish, Wakko had his mallet out, Plucky and Max moving as quickly and pulling their own.

Buster shrugged. "I've got one too; so does he," he said, pointing to Calamity, who pulled his own mallet, a large solid looking ebony piece. "And we're not a bunch of little six-year-olds you can give swirlys to anymore. Wanna fight all of us? This function's been a drag up until now."

Dot noticed that Tank didn't seem interested in that idea. The boy went from looking like a major threat to the bully he was. Molly and Webby were watching the entire proceedings with uncontainable glee, sipping on their punch and eating the snacks like they were watching an attraction at a fair.

Skippy had hopped down out of his chair and was standing beside Wakko. Dot knew he didn't have his mallet either, but he was clenching his fists and glaring at Tank. Wakko looked down at him, rolled his eyes, and went back to smirking at Tank.

Dot watched as Plucky and Max came to stand beside Wakko, Max pushing Skippy back so he could stand in front of him. She didn't appreciate Max manhandling her friend, but she did appreciate the boy stepping up to help Wakko, even though her brother probably didn't need any help. Buster came forward, as well as Calamity so they were forming a wall of mallet weilding boys in front of their table.

"Well, who first?" Buster asked. "We'll let you choose. I hope you chose me though; Bugs just taught me a maneuver I've been dieing to try."

Tank watched all this and with one final look fled, saying he heard his mother calling.

Gosalyn watched him leave with a sneer on her face, before turning to Dot and saying, "Your dopey brother brought his whole crew here didn't he?"

_Dopey? Only I can call him dopey!_

Dot was getting ready to stand up and go toward the girl when she caught Buster's eye. The blue rabbit shook his head slightly and she frowned, sitting back down and wondering what their plan was. She didn't think any of the boys would fight with Gosalyn; she was being a real snot but still, she was a girl.

"You got rid of Tank but don't forget you've got me to worry about! You gonna kick my butt?" She stomped to Wakko and pushed him roughly in his chest, getting several chuckles from the other boys as Wakko stared at her. "You like hitting girls huh?"

"No," Wakko shrugged while pointing. "But they do."

Everyone followed where he was still directing them. Leaning against a pillar were Babs and Elmyra, both smirking at them.

_So that's their plan…_

"We owe them so big, you know that right?" Buster muttered.

"What do they want?" Wakko muttered back.

"They want to dance-"

"Oh screw that!"

Dot looked at her brother and his friend, their faces registering disgust at the mere thought. Dot sat back and grinned, deciding to just watch the show.

"Sorry dude, had to say yes; it was the only way they would come over."

"Yeah, Elmyra wanted to dance with me," Max said. "But even to help save your sorry ass I wasn't willing to go that route. I volunteered you instead; she said it was OK because you were cute. I think she's nuts myself."

"Thanks. Jerk."

"What're friends for?"

"Not a hell of a lot," Wakko mumbled.

Webby turned appraising eyes on a now hesitant looking Gosalyn.

"Outnumbered and outclassed; seems to be a regular thing for you. Now, if you'd like to join us you can sit. If not, perhaps you should go see if you can get that stain out of your dress before it sets."

With that, the duckling picked up her cup and began to sip at her punch, watching Gosalyn as her big sooty lashes grazed the rim as she blinked.

Annoyed, Gosalyn said, "Yeah, I'll do that; I'm still sending you the bill-"

"Christ, send it to me," Max said loudly, attracting a few curious looks. "If it'll get rid of you I'll buy you a new dress! Hell, I'll buy the whole store the dress was sold in-"

"I didn't know you could buy a Salvation Army," Molly said, shooting a sly smile to Dot.

Dot started laughing again with the others, watching as Wakko and the other boys put away their mallets. The main threat was gone, she supposed they weren't really needed.

Gosalyn took one more look at all of them before her sharp green eyes settled on Dot.

"Don't think this is over; when my Dad finds out you're here, he'll have you hauled out-"

"Not this threat again!" Dot sighed. "If your Dad is such a great crime fighter, you'd think he'd know the laws. We're here with a chaperone; he can't touch us. No one can touch us. Now get out of here before I call off their girlfriends, forget I'm a lady and beat your ass myself!"

There was a stunned silence and Dot, surprised by her outburst, started sinking in her chair.

_Where had that come from?_

After a few seconds of the silence, their section of the dance hall burst into laughter, the sounds of it bouncing around the room and almost drowning out the music. Most heads in the ballroom turned toward them in curiosity.

After a few seconds of the hilarity, Wakko wiped his eyes and shouted, "Way to go sis! Knew you had it in you!"

"Knew I liked your family for some reason Wak," Buster said, holding his side with one hand while slinging his arm around Wakko's shoulder with the other. "The whole damn family is nutty as hell."

_I suppose that's a compliment._

Gosalyn, realizing finally that she was indeed not only outnumbered but the butt of the joke, hissed, "This isn't over Warner."

With that threat she stomped off through the crowd, her head up and glaring at anyone who dared step in her path.

"Well, that was a fun visit with an old friend," Molly said cheerfully. Holding up a plate of cookies to Wakko, she continued talking. "Would you like a cookie? How about some punch? You look really handsome, almost as handsome as Yakko. Your tie's crooked though. Are you going to dance with your girlfriend now?"

Dot watched as Wakko's draw dropped, Buster slapped a hand over his eyes and everyone else started laughing. She couldn't help laughing at his distress; Wakko had said several times already that he wasn't dancing. It looked like he was stuck though. Elmyra had come over and flung both her arms around his neck. Babs had come over and linked her arm through Buster's.

"Um…no…I uh…Dot!" he yelled. "Dot, I want you to meet Calamity! He can't talk, I mean he can but not to you…damn it help me out you idiots!" he yelled, turning to the other boys who were laughing harder at him.

Except Buster; he looked almost as uncomfortable as Wakko did.

She was thankful that they came over and helped, though why everything with them needed to be so dramatic was a mystery. But no matter how thankful she was, she wasn't going to help rescue them. They looked…cute with the girls.

Besides, she still remembered their comments about her and Molly being so cutesy and sweet they would mess up Wakko's glucose readings.

"Be nice Wakko," Molly said. "I know Yakko doesn't like swearing. Then again, I guess the kitchen floor can never be too clean."

Dot was almost howling at her brother's face; he really was fun to tease at times. It was even more fun when she got to sit back and watch someone else tease him. Finally Plucky seemed to feel some pity for him and the rabbit because he began making introductions to the newest member of Wakko's ever growing group of friends.

And unlike some of the others, he was a total gentleman. Upon meeting each girl, Calamity came forward, took their hands and kissed them, making all of them giggle and the other boys gag. He shook Skippy's hand, earning himself a wide grin in the process.

After a few minutes of introductions, Wakko asked where Yakko was. When Dot told him that he had disappeared through the door by the buffet table with a girl, she saw them all exchange glances.

Promising the girls they would be back later - much later - the boys ran off. Shrugging, Dot took a cookie and began talking to Webby and Molly about the dresses on the other girls and trying to distract them from asking to much about their history with Gosalyn and Darkwing.

She resolved to continue to ask her brothers - especially Yakko - exactly what was going on. If she was going to be verbally attacked in public she'd at least like to know why.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Girls are weird. Whatever's made them run mad, I hope it wears off by Monday and we have the normal girls back. All this giggling and grabbing and talk about dancing…_

Wakko pushed the girls from his mind and led his friends to the door Dot had indicated. His brother, with a girl? He could hardly believe his luck. This might be fun.

The others had apparently been thinking along the same lines as him, because as soon as the words were out of Dot's mouth, they had all cut their eyes to each other. Wakko could practically see horns coming out of Plucky's head.

He turned from the table and headed toward the door, the other boys following him. A chance to perhaps prank his brother and they were away from the giggling girls.

Even Babs, normally the most tomboyish of the girls, seemed to have been struck with a case of temporary insanity, asking Buster, Wakko, and a boy he didn't know to dance, being rejected by all three. Wakko took comfort that at least he didn't stutter when she asked, unlike Buster who looked like he had been about to pass out when Babs had talked to him.

He really wanted to kick Buster though; how could he have promised that they would dance with them? OK, Buster must have had to really work on them if he promised a dance with Babs since he was as adverse to the idea of dancing as Wakko was, but still, he shouldn't have done that. Now they would have to spend the rest of the night avoiding the girls and then they'd probably be mad at them. But, the girls had been nice enough to whisper to him that they would keep an eye on Dot's table in case either of the two Disney dorks came back.

Reaching the door, Wakko opened it and stopped, frozen in shock before he felt a sharp bark of laugher escape his lips. Inside the door was a hallway, a set of stairs leading up to the balcony. At the other end he could see an open set of double doors, the last rays of sunlight shining in. He could see several figures outside the windows, talking and kissing. And there was enough light to see a teenage couple underneath a set of stairs leading up to a second floor. Or an almost teenager – Yakko was underneath the set of stairs, lips locked with some girl. Both his brother's and the girl's hands were in all sorts of interesting places too.

As he watched in stunned amusement, he felt Max walk into his back and mutter a few curses at him before looking over Wakko's shoulder. He too started snickering.

"Am I seeing this?" he laughed quietly.

"What's the hold up you goofs - I'd still like to get something to eat before…" Buster trailed off as he looked around Wakko's other shoulder. "Man, Plucky, you got to see this; better than we thought."

"What the hell - is that Yakko playing tonsil hockey?" Plucky said loudly while jumping up behind them. Calamity just pushed him and Buster out of the way to get a better look.

"Shut up stupid he'll hear us!" Wakko hissed. He was trying to laugh quietly, but knew he, just like the others, wasn't doing that great a job. Hopefully Yakko was too engaged in what he was doing to notice. He felt himself being pulled backwards by Max to the set of stairs where the others were now clustered, crouched down and watching Yakko and the girl.

"Shit – I can't believe your brother!" Max said, leaning against the wall laughing. "We should go rescue him - he looks like he's getting his face eaten by a cannibal."

"Damn," Wakko said, still laughing. "Tell Calamity I can't introduce him just yet; my brother's busy…getting busy."

Everyone burst out in quiet laughter at the quip, Buster signing what was said to Calamity.

Wakko looked at him curiously when Calamity started laughing in his deep, weird pitch. It had startled him when he first heard it. Buster had been nice enough to explain it; Calamity still had the ability to talk, even though he couldn't hear. But because he couldn't hear, he didn't know what any of the sounds were, including his laugh. Sometimes Calamity would try to talk, forming weird sounding words to get their attention, but because he was conscious of the fact he sounded odd, he didn't do it often. Max had added in that the asshole Tank was one of the boys that had informed Calamity of how bizarre he sounded.

Wakko added that as yet another reason to dislike the boy to his mental list, along with the fact that he liked picking on children smaller than him, ran at the first sign of trouble, and the biggie - he was trying to upset his sister and her friends. He was the only one allowed to do that.

"Didn't know your brother was such a player Wak," Max said, nudging him. "No wonder the girls have been asking you to dance all night."

"Shut up Max. Sorry Calamity," Wakko said, "Guess you'll have to wait. Who knows how long he'll be with her."

Plucky nodded as he signed to the grinning coyote. "Yeah, Yakko's a regular Columbus, exploring with his hands-"

Wakko gave a mock shudder. "I don't want to think about how far north and south his hands are exploring."

That brought more laughter, but it didn't solve the problem. They still didn't know how long Yakko would be. Should they bother him or not? They probably shouldn't, but his brother had been a pain earlier about not letting him stay at Busters. Besides, whatever illness had struck the girls had apparently got Yakko too. Not to mention, this was too good an opportunity to pass up.

Calamity was signing something as Wakko watched.

Plucky finally said, "Calamity said he could wait until Yakko was...less occupied. Me however, I'm tempted to go bust him up."

"Yeah," Max muttered. "That'll put him in a good mood you dipshit duck."

"Be funny though," Buster interjected before Plucky could respond. "Besides, we should harass..I mean...um...rescue Yakko. He can only hold his breath so long-"

Buster was cut off suddenly, and Wakko watched as he was suddenly lifted up by his collar so he was dangling off the stair. An instant later, Wakko felt himself being pulled into the same position.

A familiar voice said, "I was holding something and it wasn't my breath. Unless you want me holding your necks, you should probably go hide by the food like you've been doing all night."

Wakko looked up into Yakko's face. At least he had a little bit of a smirk on his face. He wasn't too annoyed by them breaking up his little make-out session.

Still, best to get to the point.

"Hi ya Yakko – wanted to introduce you to someone-"

"It couldn't wait? You scared off Evelyn with all your noise and giggling and idiot comments."

"This is Calamity," Wakko said, ignoring Yakko's interruption. "He's deaf, so if you could unhand my shirt maybe you could wave at him-"

Yakko looked at the coyote who was now laughing harder in the odd sounding tone. Yakko finally nodded his head at the boy before looking at the others and nodding his head toward the area where the function was taking place.

"You're supposed to be out there-"

"So are you," Max cut in, still laughing. "Wonder what those chaperones would say if they knew you were back here Valentino?"

"We'll never find out," Yakko said. "Because I'll mallet you through this wall if you even make an attempt to say anything."

"Come on Yak," Wakko said in what he hoped was his best pleading tone – Yakko was usually a sucker for the pleading tone. "We didn't know what you were doing and I really did just want to introduce you...because I respect you so much and can't wait to have you meet all my friends."

_Please buy that; it's not totally untrue. Well, the part about not knowing what you were doing is untrue. Not that I'm mentioning that._

Yakko chuckled and cut his eyes to him. "Look who your talking to sib; I'm not buying that."

_Darn._

"Worth a shot," Wakko said, shrugging and hoping that Yakko would let go of him soon.

Yakko finally let go of his and Buster's shirts, and they both flopped back down on the step. Calamity made a few movements with his hand.

Buster, rubbing his neck said, "Calamity said hi, nice to meet you, he thinks your shows gonna be awesome -"

"Thanks Calamity," Yakko drawled. "Pleasure to meet you, though I-"

"-and he asked what your hand was doing in that girl's shirt?"

Wakko started laughing at the expression on Yakko's face; he hadn't seen his brother look that surprised in quite a while. No way Yakko was getting out of this one; it wasn't often he got to tease Yakko about something, especially something of this magnitude.

He managed to stop laughing long enough to say, "Yeah brother, enlighten us, and don't give us any crap that she lost her contact down there."

Yakko, speaking loudly over their laughing, said, "My hand wasn't up her shirt-"

"Yeah, sure, and your tongue wasn't down her throat either," Plucky said. "Come on Yak-"

"Yakko, is it safe? Who is it? Friends of yours?"

They all turned, Wakko and Buster leaning over the rail to see Yakko's blond girlfriend peeking at them from the stairs. Apparently that's where she ran to when she and Yakko heard their voices and laughing.

"Look Romeo, Juliet's returned," Buster said. "Wanna continue where you left off?"

"Actually, I do," Yakko said. "But not while you goofballs are here. There's a street out front; go play in it for awhile OK?"

"Like we wanna miss this," Max said. "So go back to your lip wrestling, we promise we won't make a sound."

"Lips hell," Plucky put in. "You were sucking at her like she was made of an antidote to poison!"

Wakko laughed with the others and watched as the girl came over. He supposed she was pretty; she wore too much make-up though. Yakko had weird taste sometimes. Looking at her again, he decided she wasn't that pretty at all. His brother could do tons better than her.

"Oh, little boys," she sniffed. "I thought it might be one of the chaperones to kill our fun."

_Little boys? I'm no little boy!_

"No, it's my brother and his friends trying to kill the fun. They're leaving though, before I kill them."

"That'll bring in the girls Yak," Buster said. "Hands all covered in blink-"

"Who said anything about using my hands? A couple good mallet shots will take care of all of you. Sorry back there," he said to Calamity. "Nothing personal, but you're guilty by association."

Calamity gave Yakko a cheerful wave while Plucky continued to translate for him.

"Maybe we should continue this later," the girl began. "When you're not so busy-"

_No where near as busy as he was with you_, Wakko thought, looking at the girl with a slight sneer.

"No, I told you, their leaving-"

"I'm not leaving," Plucky said. He turned to look at her. "Hey, her shirt's buttoned up again."

"But not correctly," Max said. "Hey toots, you misaligned the buttons. I'd figure a girl like you would have more practice dressing in the dark."

With everyone breaking out into fresh gales of laughter, Wakko barely heard Evelyn's sharp intake of breath. While he was gasping for breath, he looked at Yakko and made a mental note to not get too close to him; his brother looked like he was actually getting annoyed.

"The only way you'll get a kiss from a girl is if you stay in the dark," Yakko snapped back. "Look, you five, leave OK? You leave now; I promise I won't exact a horrifying revenge on you."

"Revenge?" Wakko snorted and pointed to Evelyn. "As long as I don't have to kiss her, nothing you can do would be that bad. You know I don't like clowns!"

Smirking, Wakko watched as the girl gave a small 'humphing' sound and started to storm off to the boy's laughter.

Yakko gave him a murderous look, while saying, "I wouldn't bet the circus on that sibling." He started to turn to go after her while yelling, "Evelyn, wait!"

"Let her go Yak," Buster said consolingly. "She's what my dad would call loose."

"One of the reasons I liked her," Yakko muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you guys just-"

"Cock-blocked you?" Max said before starting to laugh, the others joining in.

Wakko, still wiping tears from his eyes, leaned on a rail opposite to his brother, making sure to stay more than an arm's length from him. He had gone from looking slightly annoyed to really irritated.

"Well, now you're free to go find another girl. A better girl," he said. "One who isn't a slutty whore-"

Yakko sputtered at him what sounded like a combination of a cough, laughter, and the words 'what', 'where did you hear' and 'grounded'.

"Hey guys, who does he sound like?" Wakko asked, turning to look at the other four boys. "Give up? TP!"

A howl of laughter arose in the hallway and a few curious teens from outside looked in the door. Wakko felt somewhat proud; it wasn't everyday he could make Yakko sputter.

Yakko managed to choke out, "I'm going to start yelling like him too. Will you five please go away so I can try to find her and apologize for having a pain in the tail brother instead of two sweet, nowhere near as nosey sisters?"

_Nowhere near? Dot was as nosey as they came! She's always telling on me!_

"Sure Yak-ster, if you'll do one thing for us," Plucky said.

Yakko looked hesitant, but finally nodded.

"OK, next time you plan on necking in the hallway, tell us in advance – we want to be here for the whole fumbling show! I just know you must have tripped up when you hit her bra!"

"What bra?" Max asked. "Those types of girls don't wear them!"

"Yeah Yakko, promise us," Buster added with a smirk. "By watching you, I'm learning what not to do!"

_Uh oh…_

Wakko saw Yakko, finally pushed to his limit, lunge at all of them and he barely jumped out of the way. Laughing, he leapt over the rail, Buster on his heels, and ran out the door and back onto the dance floor, the others following behind him. He hadn't seen Yakko look that pissed in awhile.

Who knew annoying Yakko could be so much fun? And personally, he thought Yakko should thank all of them – that girl really wasn't pretty at all. He'd ruin his reputation before he got one if people saw him with an ugly clown girl. Lots of girls at the function were a lot prettier...even Elmyra was a lot prettier than that girl.

Hopefully Yakko would calm down soon - he didn't want him trying to give him his injection if he was still ticked at him. Thinking about that, Wakko gestured to the others, and everyone split off from each other. Yakko couldn't chase them all.

XXXXXXXXXX

_For the rest of my life I'm going to love honey._

Yakko gave Evelyn another kiss before she pulled away, batting her eyes at him. He sighed, happy to have been able to sweet talk and charm her into coming back with him for a few minutes before she had to leave.

That was after he had managed to chase his brother and the rest of the hellions off. He had actually pursued them out on the dance floor and back toward the front of the ballroom before they all got smart and scattered in different directions. He was fast – mostly because his legs were longer than any of theirs, but he couldn't catch them all.

He had debated going after Plucky and Max, since their comments were cruder, but Wakko or Buster seemed to be the main instigators and the ones who had got under his skin the most. Unfortunately he couldn't find them. He was pretty sure they were hiding under a table.

Didn't matter – he could catch them later. He knew where Wakko slept, and Buster would be by the tower again eventually. At least during the pursuit he had been able to check on Dot, who was having a ball with her friends. He had almost forgotten to check on her; that's what he got for thinking with the wrong head.

He had also been able to get a wild story from her about Wakko and his friends almost getting in a fight with some fat ass from Disney, Gosalyn came by and tried to threaten her, and Buster and Wakko owed Babs and Elmyra a dance. He had wanted to get the rest of that fascinating story, but he had spotted Wakko and Buster hiding in the back corner with the girls and looking like they were desperately trying to talk their way out of something.

Picking up Dot and giving her another quick kiss on her forehead, he popped her back in her seat, ignored the giggling from the other members of her table and took off after the duo. When they saw him heading toward them, they scattered again, the girls looking extremely annoyed.

He had passed Kit, who still had the bearess on his arm. The boy had seen him, laughed, and told him to get the brats later and to go find the girl before it was too late. Yakko had thought about it and decided to take the bear's advice.

Evelyn slipped him a piece of paper which he put in his pocket; her telephone number that she had promised him. He wondered if it was correct; he'd heard that girls would sometimes slip a guy a wrong number. Hell, he wondered if he would even call it. She was pretty, but Wakko and Buster were right, she was slightly trashy looking. And dumb as a brick. Thank goodness she could kiss well because she couldn't hold a conversation for longer than five minutes.

With a final wave, she disappeared out the door, giving him a quick flick of her tail. He watched her leave, hoping he didn't have a dippy smile on his face.

Satisfied with his first official make-out session, he turned, looking around the ballroom. It was getting later; he was surprised that so many kids were still there. Some of the younger ones looked like they were going to fall asleep. He glanced briefly over at Dot's table; her, Molly, Webby and Skippy were all now sitting at the table, talking calmly. Even Molly looked less hyper than normal.

He'd go grab Dot in a minute; he finally spotted Wakko, Buster, and the rest of the pains in the asses in the back, sitting at a table talking and waving their hands around. Well, that new boy, Calamity, was deaf; it made sense that the others would be using sign language to communicate with him. It looked like they were currently trying to show Wakko how to do a few words.

Yakko debated on leaving him alone. His brother looked tired; he was with his friends, doing something constructive...

_Screw that. _

The little goober and his friends wanted to come bug him when he was doing something constructive...

Yakko felt a small smile begin to spread across his face. It was probably an evil smile too – Wakko was going to learn first hand exactly what happened when he tried to interfere with his older brother's pursuits.

Yakko walked quickly to the table, trying to stay on the opposite side of the crowd so they wouldn't see him. Nearing the table, he heard Buster and Max talking, showing Wakko a few simple phrases. Wakko was watching and mimicking the hand movements while Plucky looked on bored and Calamity was slowly doing the movements back, simulating a very basic conversation.

Smirking to himself, Yakko came up directly behind Wakko and Buster, putting a hand on each boys shoulder and holding them down in their chairs. He smirked even wider when they yelped and looked up at him. Around them at the table, Calamity, Max and Plucky look at Yakko as if they expected to be the next to be attacked. Already Plucky was trying to edge out of his chair.

"Hi guys, having fun?"

"Uh...yeah Yakko, loads. The guys are teaching me sign language," Wakko said nervously.

"Yeah; he's learning really quick Yak," Buster added, looking up at him with a worried expression. "Now though...uh, we're going to…um…go get some more-"

"Sign language? Oh come on, plenty of time for learning later! You two are here for fun right?"

Wakko was looking at him like he was nuts. Finally, he asked, "Are you feeling all right Yakko? Usually you're all about learn-"

_Better not let go of either of them; they'll run like Scooby and Shaggy at the mention of a ghost._

"Not all about it Wakko! No, I'm as fun loving as the next toon. And it just kills me, seeing you at a function and you're sitting here, all alone-"

"I'm not alone!" he insisted, starting to try to pull away. "I'm surrounded by people! But I think I'm going to go have another-"

"-you're supposed to be having fun, socializing…dancing…"

"Dance?" Buster croaked out. "I can't dance. I don't dance."

_You do now._

"But Wakko does, and I bet you wouldn't want to be left out."

_Look at the terror in their eyes…_

Looking up, Yakko caught sight of a group of girls watching them, looking curious and very amused. Throwing the group his most winning smile, he gestured with his head for them to come over. He almost threw his head back and gave out a classic villain laugh when he saw Babs whisper to Elmyra, then the two of them practically threw the other girls out of the way to get over to him.

He didn't know the bunny very well, having only met her a few times, but he'd heard Babs was supposed to be a very sharp girl; witty, great athlete, very talented. Apparently the rumors he'd heard were true.

He barely knew Elmyra, except when she dashed at him across the lot whenever she spotted him to hug him and say 'Hi you handsome fuzzy-wuzzy'. He didn't take it seriously; she said the same thing to Wakko and every other boy she met. She seemed like a nice, if a bit ditzy girl.

But both girls looked attractive tonight. Babs was in a funky black skirt with a bit of flower and vine embroidery on it, a black bolero top with and electric blue flower pinned to the front. She used several silver chains to accessorize her outfit. On anyone else, it would have looked ridiculous; somehow Babs made it work.

Elmyra was dressed more subdued in a grey and black plaid jumper with a white mock turtleneck. She still had a ribbon in her hair, but this one was black and thankfully didn't have a hamster skull or whatever the hell that thing was in her usual costume bow.

Sending a smile toward his brother and Buster that made them immediately begin to try to pull away again he said, "Look whose coming. Why, it's two of the prettiest girls here-"

"What do you mean two of the prettiest girls?" Babs demanded, coming to stand next to him. "I know I'm the prettiest girl here."

Apparently the rumors of her ego were true too.

"Yes, I stand corrected," Yakko conceded as the pink bunny grinned at him. He could be generous, she technically wasn't the prettiest girl there in his eyes but he'd let her have her moment.

"I think the pink fuzzy-wuzzy is pretty," Elmyra added helpfully.

Babs looked at her, one eyebrow cocked before muttering 'simpleton'.

Meanwhile, Wakko and Buster were still staring at Yakko, eyes wide.

"And I know that the two prettiest girls here," Yakko said, cutting his eyes briefly to Babs, who was grinning like Christmas was early, "are just dying to dance. Two girls who look like you shouldn't be sitting in the corner all night."

"He speaks the truth Buster," Babs said, jabbing a finger in his chest. "Besides, you owe us. So, you finally gonna get off your blue butt?"

Yakko started snickering; Buster was staring at Babs, mouth open. Wakko had turned to stare at Elmyra in horrified fascination. She waved back at him.

Looking up, Yakko saw Calamity, Max and Plucky starting to laugh. He could see Plucky trying to do the sign language to inform Calamity of what exactly was being said, but the duck's hand was shaking so hard with laughter that Yakko was pretty sure he was stuttering.

"I'm not dancing with her," Wakko finally said. "I'm not dancing with anyone!"

"Please cutie puppy?" Elmyra said, batting her eyes at him. "Just one dance? You promised…"

"No I didn't - Buster did! Go after him!"

"Thanks a lot!" Buster yelled. "I was helping you out!"

"It wasn't a very good idea!" Wakko said.

"It was the best I could come up with!" Buster insisted.

Yakko felt Wakko and Buster trying to pull away again and applied more pressure on their shoulders.

"Ow, let go Yakko!" Buster said. "You lost your mind?"

"Nope. Just tying to help you two out…I know how shy you guys are. And the girls want to dance, and they did supply you with back up."

"But we didn't need them," Buster muttered. "It doesn't count-"

"Go on guys, cut a rug-"

"I'm gonna use the rug to hide your dead body," Wakko hissed quietly, finally taking his eyes off Elmyra, who was giggling. "Look, we're sorry OK? Promise we won't ever interrupt you copping a feel-"

_Copping a…I have got to monitor what he watches from now on._

"Watch it buddy - I'm older, more creative, and know where you sleep. Besides, I want to take a couple pictures of your first slow dance."

He actually wasn't joking. He missed taking pictures of so many milestones in their lives; first birthdays, first words, first steps…

Apparently Wakko would rather he just miss this first milestone too because he colored slightly under his fur as the other boys started laughing. Well, not Buster; he was trying to sink out of the chair. Yakko was certain the only reason the boy was still upright was because his hand was still gripping his shoulder.

Talking loudly to be heard over the others' laughter, Wakko said, "I'm not going to have a first slow dance since I'm not dancing. Now go away before I stomp on your foot."

_Looks like I struck a nerve._

"Fine, I'll go away-"

"Good!" Buster and Wakko yelled at once, still eyeing the girls. Babs was smirking, arms crossed and tapping her foot. Elmyra was grinning at both boys, looking over at Max every now and then. When she did, the human toon just shook his head and pointed back at Wakko.

"-as soon as you dance."

Wakko groaned while sinking in his chair as low as Buster.

"We are screwed," Buster muttered.

Apparently Max was feeling some pity for the two boys because he said while trying to stifle his laughter, "Yakko, come on man, this is cruel and unusual punishment. Look, there's a lot of girls here - go try to get to third base with one of them. We'll leave you alone."

Yakko leaned in over Wakko so that his nose was almost touching Max's and gave the boy a smile.

"That's nice, sticking up for your friends even while they are trying to renege on a deal. But remember, Max my boy, you were there too. Keep this in mind; if I can do this to my own brother…imagine what I've got in store for you."

The smile disappeared right off Max's face, to be replaced with trepidation. Gulping, he exchanged a glace with Plucky, who was quickly signing what was said to Calamity. Neither of them were laughing any longer either. The three boys exchanged one more glance then stood.

"Sorry guys, I tried," Max shrugged before smirking at Buster and Wakko. "Don't screw with Yakko when he's trying to…you know," he finished lamely, catching the look Yakko threw at him. "Or promise something to the girls that you don't intend to deliver. I'm outta here."

"You two are on your own," Plucky added. "But I'd love to see any pictures you take Yakko. Bye."

With that, the three boys walked off, Calamity looking at them before laughing again and running off, going to hide in a group of boys. Yakko shook his head; why they all hid in this one corner was just baffling. Babs and Elmyra continued to watch all this, periodically checking their watches, smoothing their hair or leaning toward each other whispering.

_Time to get this going; the other three are running scared._

"Times wasting guys, and listen; a decent song's coming on."

It wasn't the greatest song in the world; he wasn't a huge fan of Motley Crue, but it was a nice slow ballad. The girls would be thrilled. From the look on Wakko and Buster's face, this was the final indignity that could possibly be done to them.

"We're screwed, might as well get it over with," Buster muttered.

"I'm not doing it," Wakko hissed back. "I don't care what was promised-"

"Please Wakko? Just one itty-bitty teency-weency dance?" Elmyra asked.

Wakko turned to look at her, cringing back in his chair. Yakko could hardly contain his glee. The girl was doing the pathetic begging puppy-dog eyes; she could almost rival Dot. Almost. But it was having the effect she desired. He watched as Wakko's resistance crumbled.

"Admit it Wakko; your as big a sucker as me," Yakko said.

Wakko sighed and muttered, 'Fine. I'm never gonna hear the end of this and it's all your fault Yakko."

"Now you see what I have to put up with," he replied.

Wakko trudged after Buster, who had already grabbed Babs' hand and was leading her out on the floor with the other couples. Wakko, looking like he was about to be the guest of honor at a hanging took Elmyra's hand.

Elmyra gave him a large smile before squeezing his neck in a tight hug, then dragging the gasping Wakko out on the dance floor. Both boys shook their heads and sent him glares as the rest of the boys cheered them on, shouting out encouragement like 'Way to go Romeo' or singing 'Kiss the Girl' in less than melodious tones.

Meanwhile, the other girls gathered in the corner were jealously watching Babs and Elmyra dancing with their less than thrilled partners.

Yakko smirked and pulled out his camera, quickly snapping a couple of pictures. Wakko rolled his eyes and hid his face in Elmyra's hair; Buster turned Babs so she was in front of him and he was hidden from the camera. He was too late though; Yakko had gotten a few pictures of him too. He was sure Buster's father would like to have a couple of pictures - if for no other reason than to embarrass his son when he mouthed off to him.

_Let's see. I came, made out with a hot girl and got her phone number, and after getting over my mortification of being caught necking in a hallway, got humiliating revenge on my younger brother and his friends, all while showing them you shouldn't renege on a deal. Only one thing left to do; have to dance one dance with the cutest girl at this thing._

Walking back across the dance floor and snickering at the looks Wakko and Buster were giving him. Reaching the other side of the dance floor, he spotted her sitting at a table with her friends, head down on her arms. Not surprising; checking his watch he noticed it was getting close to her bedtime.

He felt a little guilty; he'd been running around all night with either Evelyn or trying to get his hands around Wakko's throat that he hadn't danced one dance with her. He hadn't even been around when she was getting bullied, though between her friends, herself, Wakko and the other goofballs, they had handled it.

And sure, she had her friends to keep her entertained, and every time he had glanced at her she was having the time of her life, but still.

Arriving at the table, he couldn't help but smile; like her, all her friends were as exhausted as she was, a table of four children with their heads down. He was pretty sure two of them were asleep. Shrugging and not sure she'd even want to, he tapped her shoulder and started laughing as she lifted her head wearily.

"Hey Dot, you almost ready to go?"

She nodded. He knew she was tired then; she'd never say yes otherwise.

"I'll get Slappy in a minute. First though," he said, holding out his hand, "Can I have this dance?"

"Ohhhhh, that's so sweet," Molly cooed quietly. She had raised her head to watch the exchange. "Wonder where my brother is; I'd like to dance with him. You're so lucky Dot…"

With that, she rested her chin on her hand and closed her eyes. Webbigail hadn't even opened her eyes. Skippy looked up drowsily at him, smiled, then laid his head back down.

"I know," Dot said quietly to Molly. "I'd love to dance with you Yakko."

She raised her arms up to him and he picked her up, carrying her back out onto the dance floor, balancing her on his hip. He looked over to the other end; Wakko and Buster still didn't look entirely comfortable, but at least they didn't look quite as awkward as they first had.

They even seemed to be little trendsetters; a few other little boys and girls were out there dancing. Even Max seemed to have swallowed his pride; he was out dancing with Mary Melody. Plucky had two girls, Shirley on one side and a tall brunette chipmunk girl on the other. Yakko could see through the crowd that Kit was back there, close to where the adults had all gone to hide; he was dancing with his mother.

Yakko looked back at Dot cuddled in his arms with her head resting on his shoulder.

"Have a good time tonight Dot?"

She nodded before yawning in his ear. "Did you?"

"Yep," he said. "I got to annoy Wakko and I'm dancing with the cutest girl here - how could I not?"

"That's true," she agreed sleepily.

He rested his cheek on the top of her head, still swaying gently to the song and listening to the lyrics.

_Without you in my life, I'd slowly wilt and die… _

End Chapter 19


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 - Scandal

XXXXXXXXXX

June 27, 1993

_Popcorn, juice, soda, candy, water…yep, got everything._

Treats organized, Yakko concentrated briefly while reaching into his hammerspace, taking out a large silver tray. Quickly he began piling the items on it, trying to hurry without spilling anything. In his excitement, he had already burned one batch of popcorn and spilled juice down his jeans. If he kept this up he was going to be late.

Looking over his shoulder, he could see Wakko still talking on the phone, this time to Buster.

Yakko shook his head; the phone had been ringing like a fire-alarm. At a certain point he'd had to take the phone off the hook for a few hours so they could learn their lines, get any lingering assignments done and attempt to get the tower cleaned up. He wasn't going to complain though; they had all needed the phone calls. The calls and best wishes from their small but growing group of friends had helped calm nerves and boost flagging self esteems as the day had worn on.

Skippy and Molly had called Dot to talk for a few minutes; each time she got off the phone she had a huge smile on her face and told him exactly what the conversation was about. Yakko wanted to kiss Lisa for introducing Molly to Dot… Thinking that over, maybe a box of chocolates would be sufficient. He had a feeling Lisa wouldn't care for it, though she never complained when she was in 'Hello Nurse' mode.

But he couldn't remember the last time his sister had been this happy. She was even happier when Porky had called her to briefly wish her good luck with the premiere of the show tonight and to tell her he knew the episode was going to be great.

Half the crew from 'Tiny Toon's' had called for Wakko to talk about the function last night and the premiere tonight. Buster had even wished Yakko good luck with the premiere when he had answered the phone; the rabbit had added he would get Yakko back for the forced dance with Babs.

Yakko hadn't been too worried; what could Buster do to him? Thinking back on some of the pranks the younger boys had been involved in and the fact that Buster probably helped think of half of them, he decided to watch himself for awhile when the blue bunny was around. The younger Bunny was actually creative.

Bugs and Slappy had called to wish him good luck, both older toons telling him not to be nervous or worried. They would both be watching the show and would see him tomorrow. Foghorn had called as well, sending his best wishes before wanting to talk to Wakko. Yakko had overheard enough of the conversation to know that Foghorn had told Wakko not to be nervous about the premiere, telling him stories about his first time onscreen back in 1946.

Getting Wakko laughing, the chicken had added that even though his show was premiering, he still needed to do his assignment. Yakko had already checked it; the chicken tended to give slack assignments, but wanted them done. This time he only wanted Wakko to practice Fritzing a small lit bomb. He could Fritz a non-lighted one, though the fuse on it tended to be about three feet long. Yakko had helped him with it, telling him to envision a shorter fuse. Wakko hadn't gotten it lit, but the fuse did shrink to about two feet.

Even with the phone ringing nonstop, Yakko had thought about calling Evelyn. The girl had given him her number and she did seem interested in him, despite Wakko and his friends interrupting them when things were getting interesting. After much pondering, he decided to wait until the next day. The premiere would be out of the way, hopefully there would be a good review in the paper…blushing to himself, he thought again that it would be better to wait.

Picking up the tray and turning, he noticed Wakko was still on the phone with Buster. Again. How much could an eight and nine year old have to say to each other?

"Wakko, hurry up - he's already said he wished you good luck! If you stay on the phone any longer you'll both miss the show!"

"All right already – I'm getting off! Jeeze..."

Yakko heard him start talking again and shook his head, hoping whatever crazy conversation they were having would end before the show started. Looking at the clock, Wakko had about five minutes.

He was proud of his brother though; while he had been…unavailable…Wakko had stepped up to the plate and protected Dot. Not that he hadn't done it before, but Yakko always got a strange sense of satisfaction - not to mention a sense of relief - that if for some reason he wasn't around there was another set of eyes watching over his baby sister.

Luckily his brother and all his rowdy friends had managed to get rid of the Disney bullies without having to resort to an actual fight. That might have gotten themselves banned from future functions.

Unfortunately Gosalyn's big mouth had again gotten Dot interested in why they were being called thieves. He had managed to distract Dot again, but he could tell that she wasn't going to be distracted long. She'd be asking again; at some point he was going to have to start explaining some of it to her.

His younger brother had also requested an additional class; ASL. Yakko had been surprised, mostly because he couldn't see Wakko wanting any additional classes unless it involved music. But he was apparently interested in learning sign language. It wasn't a bad idea; the newest member to the Warner Lot Goof Troop communicated using it, and all the boys knew it. Wakko said he had a problem with the other boys translating for him, mostly because he was worried what they would say. Thinking of the other three pranksters, Yakko had to agree.

He would speak to someone this week about finding a tutor for it. Hell, he might take it himself. Dot was interested as well, mostly because she had liked the charming coyote and thought the hand movements looked neat. He had nodded; it wouldn't be a bad skill to have and who knew? Either she or himself could run into a deaf person at any time as easily as Wakko had.

Seeing Wakko absently rubbing his upper right arm, Yakko frowned. That was his fault; for the first time since doing the injections he had hit a muscle. Last night when they had returned to the tower from the function, he had carried Dot up the ladder since she had fallen asleep while he was still out on the dance floor with her. Wakko, groggy but still awake had been able to get up the ladder and managed to make it to the couch before collapsing into an exhausted slumber.

Yakko had checked his glucose levels and finding them so out of whack - no doubt from the sugary punch the younger children had seemed to find so tasty - that he had to give him an injection. He had given Wakko injections when he was asleep before, and thinking this would be no different had proceeded to push the needle into his arm. Unfortunately Wakko had jerked in his sleep and startled Yakko, making him push the needle in farther than intended.

Wakko had yelped, probably equal parts surprise and pain. Yakko had bruised his arm; not badly, but he still felt terrible. He knew that it did happen; according to Slappy and every single piece of literature he had found on the subject, it was inevitable that at least one time you were bound to go too deep and hit a muscle.

It was like hitting one of the blink vessels; it occasionally happened it just shouldn't happen often. He still felt terrible about it though; with all Wakko had been through, he shouldn't have to worry about bad needle shots.

Again, being too hard on himself, but he really should know better. At least Wakko hadn't been too alarmed; after his initial shock, he had sat in Yakko's lap for a few minutes while he had apologized profusely. Wakko was a very forgiving child; after receiving some cuddling and sympathy, he said he was fine, hopped off Yakko's lap, and ran to bed, the incident pushed from his mind.

He better do the same; he could hear popcorn and pieces of candy hitting the floor behind him.

He made his way into the living room, the items so precariously balanced and swaying that he was certain he was going to be wearing a bowl of popcorn before he got to the couch. He tried going slower, which helped only marginally.

When he finally reached the couch, he looked behind him and saw a trail of popcorn coming from the kitchen counter all the way to where he stood. Lovely, something else for him to clean up.

He shrugged; maybe Dot would do it. She and Wakko had bugged him so much for a raise in their allowances that he had assigned them chores. Nothing complex, but he had said if they actually contributed to helping with some of the usual household chores he'd raise it some. It seemed a fair trade-off. Both of them had complained that they already had too much to do with learning lines, shooting episodes and the pile of work their tutors sent them home with.

He had finally pointed out that he had the same things going on, plus when he came to the tower he still had to clean, do laundry, pay bills, cook, and make sure everyone did their work and learned their lines, not to mention any other crises that came up. After thinking about that for five minutes, both his siblings agreed.

Dot had to pick up her own room and at least help pick up anything on the main rooms' floors. Wakko helped with the dishes and took out any trash. Originally he was supposed to vacuum, but he tended to vacuum anything he came across.

When he got part of the sofa cushion stuck in the vacuum and it took Yakko thirty minutes to get it out, he had decided to change Wakko's chore to taking out the trash. It was a lot less work for him.

He wasn't sure what they were asking for a raise in their allowance for; they hardly had to spend their money. Anytime they were out, if they wanted something and if it was in their means he always bought it for them. He knew he shouldn't do it all the time; he was supposed to be attempting to show them the value of a dollar and managing money and all the other things that he had to learn on his own, but he rarely was ever able to deny them. If he kept it up, he'd probably end up raising two spoiled brats.

The only time Dot was denied was when she wanted to buy a pony and wouldn't take no for an answer. She changed her mind real quick when he said fine, he would buy it and it would sleep in her room with her. After thinking about it for almost forty-five seconds, she decided she agreed with him; horses don't make good roommates.

They weren't the best housekeepers in the world, but the tower managed to stay relatively clean. After the roach motel of an apartment, then having nowhere to live for so long, he was determined to at least keep the tower in good shape. The studio was nice enough to give it to them, the least he could do was try to keep it in decent shape.

Wakko slammed the phone down in the kitchen and darted out into the living room. He leaped over the back of the couch, landing beside Dot with enough force he bounced her in the air.

Balancing the tray in one hand Yakko began doling out bowls of popcorn and drinks to his nervous but excited siblings, perched on the couch watching him with anxious eyes. He didn't blame them for being nervous in the least. Tonight was the culmination of everything they had worked for; the documentary didn't count.

Sure, it had given them some exposure and got their names and faces out there, but it wasn't an actual episode of their series. It didn't show any acting or singing ability. It didn't show off the skills of the writers, or the efforts of the costuming people, or the patience of the director trying to control and direct three children.

He was more nervous than they were; he knew he'd be up early tomorrow, well before them to go to the newspaper box on the lot for a copy of 'The Animator' to check the reviews section. If the reviews were positive, not only would he be the most relieved toon on the planet, he could show them the reviews and build up their self-esteem which had been wavering the entire day. If the reviews were negative he would do his best to shield them from most of the negativity and hope that subsequent episodes were viewed more highly.

They were also not the only show to be premiering; Disney's newest series was also being given a trial run tonight. He was surprised Disney was premiering it now; 'Bonkers' wasn't scheduled to go national until November. Over four months early; the norm for a ToonTown premiere was two months before the series went national. Disney had really been promoting it; they must have thought they had a surefire hit on their hands.

That made him a bit nervous; they were premiering at eight to be followed by Bonkers at eight-thirty. Hopefully their series would be looked upon favorably; Disney had a proven track record with their television series. Sometimes series that premeired at the same time as a Disney series got overshadowed.

Treats handed out he sat on the couch and felt Wakko snuggling up beside him on his right. Pleased, he put his arm around his little brother, pulling him in closer; this happened less frequently than it used to.

Dot, already in her lavender 'Little Mermaid' pajamas crawled into his lap, almost upsetting his bowl of popcorn. Remote in hand, he saw the screen go black and hit record right before the Warner Brothers shield appeared on screen, Bugs decked out in a tuxedo and munching on a carrot.

As the three of them burst out of the tower door to sing the opening, he heard both Wakko and Dot start cheering, his own voice chiming in. They really did look and sound good. Not only them, everyone; the entire opener flowed like a well oiled machine; the singing totally on key, all dances and movements tight, everyone looked their best.

Lorelei, Umlatt; they all looked great. Even they looked great, though Yakko, upon viewing the episode, noticed that he kept his eyes closed a lot when he was singing "Let the Anvils Ring". What was that all about? He'd have to watch that in the future.

Critiquing his performance would be a real downer for the evening, and since he still had the lines memorized, he could talk with the show if he chose to. Since he didn't choose to, he instead studied the three of them on the screen, looking at each of them in turn.

They looked so young. He knew that subsequent episodes would look slightly different; already he had to have his pants lengthened due to a small growth spurt. A costumer had remarked that Dot's skirt was getting a little short and she would need to be resized in the very near future as would Wakko's sweater.

As the show rolled to commercial break, he took a good look at his siblings. Both were now healthy looking: fur shiny, eyes bright, ears perky, neither had a lean appearance any longer, but instead had a nice rounded look from being able to eat regularly, sleep normal hours, not constantly being on the run or looking over their shoulders. They had all grown so much from last June when they had been on the street.

Wakko's denim jacket which had seen so much use and abuse the last two odd years since he had received it from the wise-assed raccoon was starting to get tight on him. When Dane had thrown it at him that night on the bus when they were on their way to Neverlandia the jacket had been so large on him his hands didn't stick out the armholes. Now the cuffs went up past his wrists, almost going halfway up his forearms; Yakko was surprised that his brother hadn't said anything.

It couldn't be comfortable any longer. Wakko had worn the jacket religiously though; Yakko had a feeling that he wouldn't want to give it up. But he definitely needed a new one. They weren't homeless anymore, there was no reason he should walk around looking like they were.

Dot was getting heavier; not so heavy that he couldn't toss her around or carry her on his shoulders or pull her into his lap when either of them wanted a cuddle, but he could tell there was a weight gain. But again, in a good way; nicely rounded, a hint of the baby fat she should have had long ago around her cheeks. They were never starving, he had seen to that, but the constant running and worrying and stress no doubt had helped with the sunken look that had seemed to hover on their faces. Or maybe he was just remembering incorrectly; no one had ever said they looked skeletal.

"What did ya think Yakko?" Dot asked, eyes wide and with a hint of anxiousness in her voice. "Of this first part?"

Wakko looked up, also wanting his opinion.

"It was exactly what I thought it would be," Yakko said, standing slowly with her in his arms. "In a word...awesome!"

With that, he tossed her in the air, listening to her giggles and shrieks as she came back down and he caught her, spinning her around. Wakko laughed before he jumped on his back, surprising him.

He had noticed that Wakko wanted hugs less and less; he still willingly received or gave them - especially after some traumatic incident - but not as often as a year ago, or two years ago. He also noticed that Wakko was starting to want more independence, more privacy…He just had a fear that Wakko would start to pull away from him.

All unfortunate side effects of Wakko starting to grow up. He had been pleasantly shocked that Wakko had sat in his lap so long last night. He guessed his little brother was in some weird phase - still young enough to want the comfort and reassurance from him, but wanting to be more grown up and not need it.

Luckily, Dot was almost always willing to give or receive a hug unless she was mad at him for some reason, though that was rare. And something didn't even need to have happened; sometimes Dot would come up and want a hug for no reason. The thought that she might one day pull away was a bit depressing for him. Again, no doubt a side effect of her growing older, but still, when and if that day ever came it would be devastating. He sometimes wished she could stay the age she was forever.

Seeing the show come back from commercial, he sat back on the couch, Dot on his lap. He rested his chin on Dot's head as she grabbed a handful of popcorn to start eating and Wakko scrunched back up beside him.

Wondering where the melancholy mood had come from, he focused back on the television, laughing at the 'polka-Dot' running gag and pushing all worries and doubts from his mind.

Feeling Dot nestle her head back against his chest, Wakko doing the same thing to his side, he put his arms around both of them, figuring he should enjoy it while he could.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 28, 1993

_YOU'LL LAUGH 'TIL YOU COLLAPSE_

_The fourth line of the opening theme says it all. _

_After the success of 'Tiny Toon Adventures', Stephen Spielberg's first successful venture with Warner Brothers Studios, they have again decided to team up to bring us even more laugh out loud moments. And again, just like with their first hit, success was seen before the commercial break. _

_Folk of ToonTown, it's indeed time for Animaniacs._

_Just as he did for 'Tiny Toon's', Mr. Spielberg relied heavily on newcomers, handpicking all the leads himself so he could not only foresee his visions coming to life, but also giving us a look at fresh faces instead of forcing the same insipid cardboard cutouts on us...something a certain rival studio should take into consideration.  
Please see review of 'Bonkers' on following page._

_I surmised from the amount of buzzing I heard around town that most toons watched the two-part special 'Mayhem: The Making of Animaniacs' back in late May. But a 'making of' documentary can be a far cry from an actual episode._

_The hosts and main stars of 'Animaniacs' are three newcomers; The Warner siblings. At first this writer thought that it was a cute ploy, giving the children stage names with their studio's name. However readers, it's not a ploy – Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, and Dot Warner really are these children's names. And they themselves are as __unique as their monikers._

_Sharp, charming, glib; Yakko Warner is the oldest and de facto leader of the group. Despite his young age and lack of acting background, Yakko, with his strong clear voice and easy manner was able to carry the lead in this lavish premiere episode easily. It's no wonder that star of stage and screen, Bugs Bunny himself, handpicked Yakko as his third student. Indeed, if the legendarily Mr. Bunny is going to take on an additional protégé, it should be a young man with as much potential as Yakko Warner has displayed. _

_Both younger siblings, while having less dialogue and screen time, work well with their older brother. While very young, both have already begun to display talents in dance, acting and music, and I think we can expect as great of things out of them as we can of their older brother as time goes by. I hope episodes screened in the near future will give them additional screen time, along with the very large cast of other colorful characters that were referenced in the theme song._

_Having an insatiable appetite and a blissfully unaware demeanor reminiscent of Harpo Marx; this would be two of the many ways that could be used to describe the middle sibling, Wakko Warner. Full of boyish enthusiasm, possessing a charming Scouse accent and with his tongue frequently lolling out of the side of his mouth, he was as refreshing a change as his older brother. _

_Witty and cute to boot, Dot Warner is the youngest of the trio and the only sister. Aggressively adorable, she managed to almost steal the scenes she was in with no effort on her part. Her high spirits and pixie-like charm tell me this is a girl to watch._

_The premise of the episode entitled 'King Yakko' is part parody of the musicals of yore, with a heavy influence of 'Duck Soup' thrown in. This is not surprising; the very first auditions of the Warner's were scenes from 'Marx Brothers' – including 'Duck Soup'. _

_Lavish set design and costumes, talented actors in the supporting parts, a solid script and a superb guest star playing the ineptly evil King Umlatt helped round out this episode._

_None of them may have 'bothered to rehearse', but the Warner Siblings had this reviewer in stitches regardless of their lack of preparation. Sly one liners and a few references to some slightly adult humor from Yakko will keep the adults entertained, while the singing, dancing and jokes from all three will keep the kids laughing. There are worse ways to spend a Sunday night._

_Warner Brothers – and Warner Sister – welcome to the big time._

_Congratulations Mr. Spielberg; you've done it again. _

Finished reading the article to them, Yakko looked first at Wakko to his right, then Dot to his left before placing the paper down on the kitchen table. Both of his siblings looked at him, stunned looks on their faces, breakfast sitting in front of them, forgotten.

He hadn't slept much last night, worried about how the show would be received. He wasn't even sure if the review would appear in 'The Animator' today; the reviewer must have watched the show then rushed it straight to press to be able to make this morning's edition. His gamble of going to get the paper at five this morning had paid off; it had been there and he had been able to read a perfect review to his siblings. Later of course he would be Fritzing a pair of scissors and cutting the review out for his scrapbook.

"The reviewer gave us five out of five mallets," Wakko said calmly while looking at the article, still gripping his spoon.

Yakko nodded. The mallets in the toon papers were the equivalent of the human paper's stars. Five mallets was the highest they could go. They had impressed the hell out of the reviewer.

He turned the page to the review for Bonkers. Quickly skimming the article, he saw while they had impressed the reviewer, the orange bobcat had not. The kindest word in the review was 'annoying'.

"Bonkers didn't get any mallets," he commented to his siblings. "In fact, the reviewer claims that Disney owes him a mallet for having sat through it."

"So…they liked it? Us I mean?" Dot asked, looking at him for confirmation.

Yakko nodded, still looking at the article. "The article speaks for itself sister sibling; they liked us."

"Five out of five mallets; they really liked us," Wakko added.

Yakko nodded again, quickly taking a bite of his muffin and trying not to have too much of a smug look on his face.

"I would think so sib."

Wakko and Dot looked at each other, smiles quickly forming on their faces before they turned back to him.

_The calm before the storm…_

Yakko braced. If he knew his siblings they would-

Bedlam broke out in the kitchen; both Wakko and Dot threw themselves at him, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor as they landed on top of him in a shrieking heap.

"They loved us!" Dot screamed. "We're gonna be huge!"

"Faboo!" Wakko screamed, almost as loudly. "We did it!"

"Yeah we did!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet with one sibling under each arm and spinning around, all three of them laughing and screaming before collapsing back on the floor, Wakko's foot hitting the table and splashing milk, juice and coffee all over the kitchen.

Yakko wasn't too worried about that. They were going to be late on set anyway; they'd have time to clean it up.

They had done it. It was only one episode of course; the others could be viewed very poorly, but they were well on their way.

XXXXXXXXXX

July 21, 1993

_My head's never gonna stop pounding…_

"Wakko you're pathetic!"

"I'm pathetic! May I remind you you're the one fighting with me you brat!"

"Guys, come on; I've got to read-"

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose as both his siblings ignored his request to calm down and stop fighting. It wasn't a big shocker, they had been ignoring his requests, pleas and threats all week, why should they listen now?

And it had been an awful week, between their fighting, the script they were filming, Scratchansniff still insisting on meeting with them weekly despite having determined that other than usual childish shenanigans there was nothing really wrong with any of them, and Evelyn had decided that she had enough of him.

To be honest, he hadn't been aware they were an 'item'. They had talked several times since the function. She had constantly wanted to go out to malls or dinner or whatever struck her fancy at the time, and seemed unable to grasp that when he could get his schedule matched with one of the chaperones he would be delighted to actually take her somewhere. Preferably to dinner and a movie where they could engage in what they had started at the dance. She disliked the idea of having a chaperone and that he couldn't just up and leave, asking what use was it being a star if he couldn't do what he wanted?

Just like with them being an item, he wasn't aware he was a star. Three of their shorts had been shown in ToonTown now, and all three had been well received. A few fan letters had trickled into the studio as well, all stating how much they liked the show and wishing them the best of luck. Bugs had suggested answering them, at least some of them; it kept the fans happy. And these were all fans from ToonTown; keeping on their good side could be helpful to their career. Even if a show was cancelled, if the demand was high enough, several shows had continued for a season or two inside ToonTown.

Two days ago she had called and informed him that she couldn't talk to him anymore. She needed someone who would be there for her. After telling him she hoped his career went well because it was obviously more important than she was, she had hung up the phone in his astonished ear.

Well, he had determined early on she wasn't a smart girl. It was probably nice to be so free of the ravages of intelligence.

But whether he was aware they were an item or not, he had apparently been 'dumped'. He rolled that thought around in his head for a minute. Dumped. Tossed aside like an old Slurpee cup. He frowned to himself; it didn't hurt like he thought it would have, but then again he hadn't exactly been rejected. It was hard to be rejected when he hadn't made a single advance.

He had to agree with Wakko sometimes; girls were weird.

Thinking of his brother, he looked over at him. Both him and Dot were still yelling at each other about who the hell knew what, and were apparently determined to not only be as loud as possible, they also seemed hell bent on dragging him into their fight.

"But she said I-"

"Yakko he's-"

He watched both of them jump back into each other's faces, noses flattened against each other and sighed as the yelling and accusations started anew. He was almost curious what it was about this time.

Yesterday it was about what to have for dinner. Before that it was about them still having to see Dr. Scratchansniff; Dot resented Wakko saying it was all her fault they had to keep going back, even though the doctor had determined that there really wasn't much wrong with Dot besides being slightly spoiled.

Wakko resented the fact that Dr. Scratchansniff made them keep coming back. He then resented Yakko for grounding him for two days for calling the doctor 'a damned squinty-eyed kraut packer'. Yakko found the doctor trying at times as well, but he could usually express his displeasure without resorting to ethnic slurs and foul name calling.

At least Wakko had the decency to apologize to Scratchy on his own, though whether that was because he was trying to get back on Yakko's good side or because he actually felt bad he wasn't sure. He hoped it was the latter, which would mean that some of the moral core Yakko had been trying to pound into his head over the years had actually permeated his thick skull and had stuck.

Then it was about Wakko showing Dot his spit bubble too many times. Dot got him back for that though; she reached out and popped it, splattering him with the bubble. He hadn't done it to her since.

Figures; he had two tests he really wanted to study for and these two wanted to argue.

_Just five minutes…_

"Guys I've got to study this. Go watch TV OK?"

_That could keep them quiet. If they heard the suggestion. _

As the yelling escalated, he was pretty sure they hadn't. He tried again before deciding he was going to have to be louder than them, wondering if yelling would be enough or if he'd need to pull out the bullhorn.

Standing up, he slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "Guys knock it off!"

They heard that; both turned to gaze at him wide-eyed. At least he didn't need the bullhorn; he didn't feel like Fritzing one. The short they were not even half done filming, 'H.M.S. Yakko', required a lot of concentration and Fritzing of different objects. Bugs had been wearing him out for the last week and a half trying to make sure he could do most of the Fritzing and stunts; some things were still beyond his grasp though.

Luckily they had lots of extra time to film this one because it wasn't going well. He had to sing a song about being a toon. The guy playing Captain Mel was a real jerk. Wakko was having problems with what he had to Fritz. Dot was almost killed when she slipped on a wet spot on the ship's deck and almost plunged off the side when they had been rehearsing the final segment of the short. Luckily she hadn't been annoyed with him for grabbing her by the tail to catch her. It hurt, but it did beat the alternative. He couldn't wait for the short to wrap filming; on the bright side though at least it wasn't a full half-hour short to be filmed. He almost shuddered at that thought; they'd be there until Christmas if it was.

Glaring at both of them, he said, "Sibs, look, go watch TV. Go play, go kill each other, go do something but please do it quietly and not in the kitchen."

Wakko whined, "But I want to watch Beavis and Butthead and she-"

"I want to watch Ducktales!" Dot insisted.

In response to both statements all Yakko could think of was 'Why?' but after quickly accessing the situation again, decided that might not be the best thing to say. Dot wanted to watch her friend's show, Wakko just wanted to destroy even more brain cells watching those two giggling idiots. He wondered if an eight-year-old should even be watching that show.

Instead he chose, "Look, Wakko, let her watch Ducktales – it's only an hour block. Dumb and stupid or whatever the show is comes on again later and you-"

_Great, now I did it_, he thought watching them, this time Dot gloating and Wakko getting mad. Maybe he could buy another TV or trade in a sibling or something. He was tired of playing Solomon to these two.

"Look, figure it out yourselves or no one watches anything, capiece?"

_There, that should take care of it._

It didn't; the arguing went louder and he debated throwing them both off the tower. He picked up his books and decided to leave the kitchen to them. He could study in the bedroom; there was even a door there, he could lock them out. It looked like it was going to be the usual 'he said she said' nonsense.

Deciding to give up and let them try sorting it out themselves he said, "Sibs, your referee is leaving. I'm positive you two can work-"

"I'm positive she's a pain in the tail," he griped. "There, I said it and I don't regret it."

"I'm not a pain! You're stupid Wakko – you can't even come up with a decent insult!"

_Oh Dot, that's only because I'm in hearing distance and he wouldn't dare use some of the words I know he knows._

"Yeah, boo hoo. Go complain to Yakko you tattletale."

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose as he packed up his books and exited the kitchen, hoping to get to the bedroom and lock the door before she followed him to lay out the woes of dealing with her brother to him.

"I may be a snot, but at least I'm not stupid!"

"I'm not stupid you pain in the-"

"Wakko…" Yakko called warningly. He was getting dangerously close to crossing the line.

Dot stomped her foot and yelled, "You're so stupid even your body can't do what it's supposed to - I don't have to inject insulin! I hate you!"

Yakko stopped in mid-step as her voice rang out in the kitchen and he heard the sound of shattering glass. He spun on his heel and walked back in; Wakko noticed him and gave him a quick look, a mixture of hurt and anger on his face. Yakko noticed a shattered glass on the floor near him. Since Dot was nearest the counter and Wakko was against the wall, he didn't need to be Sam Spade to figure out who threw it.

"Time out. Dot, come on. Now."

Dot spun to look at him, her face going from shock and surprise at what she had done to trepidation to his glare. He watched, annoyed as she then batted her eyes at him.

"Yakko," she said in as cute a voice as possible, "I didn't do anything. Wakko dropped the gl-"

"Hey! She threw the stupid thing at me!"

"Wakko," he said. "Just-"

"Great," he muttered. "I'm gonna get blamed again-"

_I don't blame him all the time. Just when I'm sure he did it…which is most of the time._

"Just clean up the glass and go watch TV, OK?" he asked quietly, ignoring both his siblings open-mouthed looks. He couldn't blame them; usually Dot could out-cute her way out of anything, especially with him. Wakko didn't quite have the skills to do that, but he tended to get away with quite a bit.

Yakko was more shocked himself. What Dot said, not to mention lying to him got under his skin. They both knew better.

Indignant, Wakko started to say, "Why do I have to…"

Yakko moved his gaze from Dot briefly to Wakko as he protested and his younger brother wisely trailed off and nodded.

Since Dot hadn't moved, Yakko reached out and grabbed her arm, slamming his books on the table.

"Ow - let go Yakko! I-"

"Quiet Dot. Let's go, we need to talk."

Dot kicked at him while screaming and protesting being removed from the kitchen. Annoyed, he gave her a quick smack on her rear end and she went silent, looking at him in astonishment as he led her out of the kitchen.

She wailed, "Yakko, he said-"

"He didn't say anything as bad as you did!" Yakko snapped at her while leading her across the living room. "I can't believe you said that! And you threw a glass at him - what's wrong with you? Did you lose your mind?"

He opened the door to her bedroom while she stammered apologies at him.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," he said while opening her door. "That was terrible Dot! How could you?"

Doing her best adorable pout, she said, "I didn't say anything bad, Wakko said-"

_I can only imagine, but he still didn't say anything that bad. Hell, he couldn't._

"I don't care," he said, cutting her off. "I heard what you said. You hate him? He's stupid because he's got an illness? What's wrong with you? I taught you better than that - there's plenty of other things you could have responded with!"

Still pouting, she curled her legs under her and smoothed out her skirt. "You're always on his side, no matter what he says! He said I'm a brat and a snot and you're not yelling at him."

"I don't know about snot, but right now you're acting like a brat. Throwing a tantrum, yelling, saying what you said? And lying to me wasn't smart either."

She didn't seem to be getting what he was saying. In fact, she was doing a look reminiscent of Wakko at that age; the stubborn defiant look.

"You always think I'm lying!" she sulked. "You always take his side and you never-"

_Always? I've never said that._

Annoyed, he bent down so his nose was almost touching hers. The look on his face must have been chilling because she cringed back, lowering her head but still peeking at him.

_She's cute, but not cute enough to get out of this._

"Is that right? If you'll think back to five minutes ago Dorothy you'll remember that I said you could watch your show and he could wait! Does that sound like I'm taking his side? How about last night when you wanted pizza and he wanted burgers? We had the pizza didn't we?"

Still glaring at her, he stood up and added, "I try really hard to not show favoritism you know! Do you have any idea how hard that is, trying to keep you both happy and not constantly fighting? You two screaming at each other or saying you hate each other - it makes me think I'm not doing my job well."

He watched her face fall, the pout disappearing and her eyes filling with tears.

Cowing under his glare, she sniffed out, "Yakko I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Right now I don't want to hear it," he said, trying to keep his tone level. "Picking on a handicap is a cheap shot Dorothy; you're better than that. What's next - you want to go find a kid with leukemia? Maybe you could pull of their wig, laugh because their bald-"

"No!" she wailed over his lecture. "I'm sorry, really, I didn't mean it! I don't hate him-"

Looking at her, he had a feeling she probably was sorry. Dot wasn't a cruel girl; the doctor was right when he said she was a little spoiled but Yakko took full responsibility for that. After their rough start in life he found himself unable to say no to most requests from either of them. But especially her.

She wasn't malicious, but she was young. At five and a half he knew he couldn't expect her to have full control of her emotions; Wakko certainly didn't at that age. However, he hadn't let Wakko get away with tantrums or lying and he wasn't going to ignore it and let her get away with it either.

"And you lied to me," he continued. "You know better!"

That bugged him as much as anything. Dot really hadn't tried lying to him about anything yet; he supposed it was about time she tried it. Wakko had tried lying to him a little earlier than she did, and unless she wanted a mouthful of soap she'd better acknowledge it and apologize.

"I know," she whimpered, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."

_Well, she missed the soap by inches. Who am I kidding - I wouldn't do it to her anyway..._

Crossing his arms, he looked down at her. "You should be; you should be totally ashamed of yourself. I thought I had been doing a better job raising you; guess I was wrong."

Turning he started to leave the room, hearing her sobbing out that she was sorry and it wasn't his fault and she was just being bad. Much like Wakko, expressing disappointment in them, while a little mean was usually an effective means of disciplining them.

"It'd be bad enough if you said something like that to a stranger; to say it to your own brother is worse. Stay in here until I tell you to come out."

Hearing her burst into fresh cries, he tried to ignore them and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Then he leaned his forehead on the door for a second, listening to her quiet crying and sniffing. Not wanting to weaken too quickly, he moved away from the door. He'd go back in around half an hour and talk to her. In the meantime he could attempt to get some of his neglected studying done; while his thoughts may be distracted at least it was quiet for the moment.

Again though his thoughts drifted to this latest situation. He rarely had to punish Dot and it hurt him that he had to. Her hurtful words still rang in his ears, about him favoring Wakko or not listening to her or blaming her. He racked his brain, trying to review different situations in his mind to see if maybe he acted improperly at some point and inadvertently wronged her. He couldn't remember any situations that would give her that impression. He would talk to her in awhile about it, but hopefully it was only her trying to push her limits to see how far she could push him before he actually reacted.

He hoped. It could be that he had done a worse job than he thought trying to raise them. He'd never pick on someone with a handicap or illness; he was positive Wakko never would either. He had always thought Dot wouldn't as well. Not for the first time he had to wonder if he may have done them an injustice taking them from the home.

Wakko got into trouble more often but rarely argued about whatever punishment he got. When one time Yakko had asked him why he had such a laid back attitude about his recent grounding, he had simply shrugged and stated it came with the territory. According to Wakko it was a hazard of being a kid.

Passing through the living room he glanced over toward the television, the annoying grating sounds of 'Beavis and Butthead' coming at him quietly. He then heard the voice of one of the innumerable Disney Ducks, an ad for beans, then a car commercial. He sighed and walked toward the couch; he'd probably better talk to Wakko too. He was never going to get his studying done.

Sometimes it was hard being the oldest; sometimes it just really sucked.

Reaching the couch, he saw Wakko, knees pulled up to his chest staring at the television, remote in hand and idly flicking through the channels. Yakko sat beside him as he continued searching.

"Thought you wanted to watch the two fools."

Wakko shrugged and muttered, "Seen it."

Yakko watched his younger brother for a moment. He looked upset and serious, a look that didn't appear often on his face.

Frowning, Yakko put an arm around his shoulder and said, "Look, Wak, she didn't mean what she said."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Wakko, listen to me. What she said was awful; I've told her that. She shouldn't have said any of that to you."

Wakko didn't say anything and didn't look at him, but nodded.

"I'll make sure she apologizes-"

"She doesn't need to," he said. "It doesn't count if you're made to do it."

_I'll be damned. He actually paid attention to something I said._

"I probably won't need to. She's really sorry-"

"She should be."

"Look Wakko, she didn't think about what she said, she was just mad-"

"For no reason."

_He's argumentative._

"Wakko, somehow I doubt you were blameless in this either." Seeing Wakko go to open his mouth again with another protest he added, "I'm not going to get into it. But she's sorry. Look Wakko, every now and then you've said stuff you didn't mean right?"

"Yeah."

"OK…Just keep that in mind. You were five once too." Snickering he added, "You still do it now sometimes."

"Not always," he retorted while wrinkling his nose. "Like when I said Evelyn's seen more traffic than the Santa Ana Freeway I meant it."

Like much of what Wakko says, it was a little crude but if nothing else, his little brother was always supportive. While Yakko had been a little hurt but a long way from shattered, Wakko had seemed to take it as a personal insult and had raged about her for quite awhile, Dot chiming in when she understood what had happened.

"I appreciate the analogy and show of support Wakko," Yakko said laughing and shaking his head. At least Wakko was choosing to allude to his thoughts about Evelyn's prior activity instead of coming out and using something slightly more…inappropriate. "I'm going to try to go get the studying I've been trying to do for the last two hours done. Just stay quiet OK?"

At his nod Yakko stood and went into the kitchen, determined to get a few hours of studying in. Sitting down at the table he grabbed his book, 'Enlargement Theories: The How's and Why's of Your Hammerspace'. Bugs already said he could expect a test on it 'very soon'. 'Very soon' was Bunny speak for 'next time I see you.

Opening the book to where he had originally been reading, he heard a sound and cocked an ear up; Dot's door.

Annoyed, he stood, wondering why Dot was getting so stubborn all of a sudden. He thought Wakko was the most stubborn person he'd ever met and even he wouldn't dare leave his room after being told to stay put. Not with the mood Yakko had been in. Dot was usually obedient; maybe not obedient, but didn't deliberately go out of the way to break simple rules or intentionally make him mad.

Getting to the doorway he stopped, hearing talking.

_If she came out to argue more…_

Running a hand through his hair, he started to stomp out into the living room with the intention of dragging her back to her room when he started listening to what she was saying. Stopping again, he looked around the doorframe; Wakko was standing beside the couch glaring at her, arms crossed and a sulky look on his face. Dot was still half crying in front of him

"-but I'm not supposed to come out but I wanted to tell you that I don't hate you and I'm really sorry. And I didn't mean to throw a glass at you!"

After a pause, Yakko heard Wakko say 'I know' and felt relieved. He might have been mad but Wakko was a very forgiving child; he should have known Wakko would instantly excuse her.

And Dot had apologized on her own without any prodding on his part. She wasn't supposed to leave her room, but he was willing to overlook that minor technicality.

He leaned on the door jam and continued to watch them make up. Wakko finally rolled his eyes and hugged his sobbing sister before they both sat on the couch, flipping the channel to 'Ducktales'.

Maybe he was being too dramatic; maybe he was doing a decent job after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

July 31, 1993

_This isn't good. What the hell happened? How did they find out?_

Wakko wiggled under Yakko's arm to stare in horror at the newspaper article gripped tightly in Yakko's hand. They were in big trouble, really big. He was glad Buster was grounded again though; if he wasn't, Wakko would have been over at his house this weekend and not here with Yakko and Dot. Not that they needed him here exactly, but with this sort of article being written about them, he wanted to be near his family.

Yakko hadn't said much after reading it out loud to both him and Dot. And he knew from past experience that when Yakko wasn't talking, things were bad and probably going to get worse.

Exchanging a look with Dot who was sitting on Yakko's left leg, Wakko decided to read the article again. He had missed part of it; when Yakko had been reading it out loud, his mind had been spinning. He had been surprised that Yakko had an issue of 'Tasty Toon Gossip'; he had always said it was trashy journalism, full of half truths and uninvestigated facts. If Bugs hadn't called Yakko so early it might have been tomorrow or Monday before they had found out about this. Not that it would matter.

_ANIMANIACS or KLEPTOMANIACS?_

_By Jeremy Sovereign_

_Recently a new craze has been sweeping ToonTown, namely Ani-mania. Yakko, Wakko and Dot Warner, stars of Warner Brother's newest series 'Animaniacs', seemed like a new and fresh addition to the studio's large cast of animated stars. _

_Smart mouthed older brother Yakko, insane middle brother Wakko, and the self-proclaimed cute one (and only sister) Dorothy, sprang from the water tower and onto the small screen on June 28th after a spectacular and informative documentary showing the ins and outs of creating an animated series, especially one with such a large and varied cast of characters, some that have yet to be introduced in the episodes screened so far._

_But what we were shown, is this the truth? After some serious investigating and several interviews with witnesses and other toons that had the misfortune of having crossed paths with the trio, I can sadly say no. For once Warner Brothers, a studio we thought we could always trust to tell us the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be, either dropped the ball or intentionally hid facts about their newest sensations and rather tried to hide even basic information from their loyal viewers._

_Yes parents and fans, you read the headline right. The stars of 'Animaniacs' are indeed kleptomaniacs, with a long and sordid career behind them. _

_The three Warners were born and raised in ToonTown, Plympton District. The children's mother was a down on her luck singer who managed to overdose on Twink, a recreational drug popular in the four ghettos of ToonTown. Their father is currently serving a sentence at Panic Penitentiary for various charges, including failure to appear, assault on a police officer, robbery, and several parole violations. With good behavior, he is scheduled for release sometime in 1997 or 1998._

_On December 20, 1990, the Warner siblings were picked up in ToonTown, Wishing Star District for theft; pick pocketing to be exact. And while these bold children did pick the pockets of any and all they came into contact with, they were finally apprehended when they tried to pull some of their skills on Captain Horatio Hook. Captain Hook, innocently minding his own business and finishing some Christmas shopping was almost relieved of his own valuables and if not for the sharp eyes of his longtime lackey Smee would surely not have had a happy holiday. _

_Upon their arrest, the Warner siblings were placed in protective custody pending a hearing in Junior Toon Court System. Upon finding that their father was not a fit guardian, the Court permanently took custody of the three miscreants and sent them to the Brutus-Nero Home for Children in Foulfellow District. _

_While there, efforts were taken to keep the three siblings together and rehabilitate them. While there, it was determined that the boys and girls should be separated and placed in separate housing, and with great regret Dorothy was placed away from her brothers in a house located within the next district._

_After teaming up with another troubled child in the home, the Warner Brothers ran wild, assaulting several TIS employees (see interview with Clayton O'Leaginous, Director of Services, page 8), freeing their younger sister before disappearing within several of the ghettos located within ToonTown. _

_While efforts were made to contain the children TIS was unable to apprehend the siblings. Witnesses state that they seemed to be under the control of the oldest brother. And while they may have stayed under wraps, only being spotted occasionally, they were still hard at work robbing the populace of their belongings._

_From additional investigation, it has been determined that at some point in early 1992, the siblings had enough of ToonTown and decided to leave, heading instead to Los Angeles. While TIS continued to search for the children, they managed to stay one step ahead of the hunters and avoid capture._

_I was able to get an exclusive interview with an eye-witness to their thievery at the 22nd Annual Toon Convention held in Griffith Park. While there, they apparently attacked and robbed a fellow Warner Brother's Star, Yosemite Sam. While other toons were scared and confused, the daring Darkwing Duck pursued them mercilessly through the city. _

_While he was unable to capture them due to the trio running onto Warner Brothers Studio property, he was able to give a complete and thorough description to their studio security._

_Imagine his surprise when he discovered that these hooligans were not only the studio's newest stars, they have apparently been taken under the wing of some of the studio's best and brightest, including Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, and Foghorn Leghorn. These three legends all volunteered to tutor the three con-artists, passing down their knowledge to them._

_While the oldest child seems to have endeared himself to the studio's stars, the younger two have also managed to fool many people into believing that they are nothing more than the newest addition to the studio's batch of toon heroes._

_The middle child is friends with many of the stars of the studios current hit "Tiny Toon Adventures". Meanwhile, the girl has managed to become friends with a few of the girls from Disney Studios. _

"_Hopefully, the parents of all these children will reconsider who they allow their offspring to associate with, especially the very young children here at Disney, who all have spotless reputations. It would be a shame to see them tarnished," Darkwing was quoted as saying while this reporter was there to interview him regarding his new position as security advisor at Disney Studios and his ongoing freelance work with TTF._

_These children, gifted con artists, seemed to have fooled many people. The studio even entered into a guardian ad slavus with the trio, with Steven Spielberg himself one of the many people who had to sign off on the legal document…(story continued on next page)_

Wakko didn't bother asking Yakko to turn the page; he'd read enough and Yakko had read it to them. He knew what it said. That the studio should immediately cancel the show and hand them over to TIS to receive their punishment and split them up. That Yakko was a horrible role model and guardian and was basically running his own gang of thieves, curiosity over their 'next heist' and that the three of them would be horrible stars, that little kids would watch their show and think it was OK to be like them.

Wakko glanced at Dot. She was sitting on Yakko's leg, her little finger running along under the lines as she silently mouthed the words to herself, occasionally stumbling over the larger words.

Looking up at Yakko he felt even more worried. More worried than when he woke up in the hospital or when he had grabbed Sam's wallet and his eyes had met the man's.

Yakko's eyes were narrowed as he stared at the article, occasionally glancing down at Dot. Wakko felt himself chewing on his lip and made an effort to stop.

"Jesus, they make us sound like hardened criminals, like we're going to rob the studio blind. I feel like pure evil," Yakko muttered.

Wakko barely heard him. Looking at Yakko he tried to keep his breathing steady before he went into full panic mode. Why had this guy Jeremy Sovereign lied about them? And Darkwing, he lied too - the duck hadn't seen him take the wallet - he wasn't even there when he did it! And why didn't Sam say something - he got his wallet back - Wakko thought he could sort of include the loud little man in his group of friends. He had never seemed angry when they saw him on the lot, well, not any angrier than normal, but maybe he still was. And Dot wasn't a thief; as far as he knew she'd never taken a stick of gum that didn't belong to her.

Dot had finished reading the article and looked up, her eyes meeting Wakko's briefly before turning back to Yakko's.

"Yakko, I don't understand-"

"That's good Dot, because I don't understand right now either." Crumbling the paper, he added, "I knew the guy was an asshole but even I didn't think he'd stoop this low. Was he that pissed about getting outsmarted by a few kids that he's willing to ruin our careers?"

Wakko raised his eyebrows in surprise - if he had said that Yakko would have yelled at him. Yakko never swore, not even the little ones like damn; he was really mad. The only thing that relieved him at the moment was that Yakko's anger wasn't directed at him.

But the whole thing with Darkwing was his fault though. Yakko might get mad at him for that. Maybe if he pointed out that it had worked out and they got their jobs with the studio because of it he wouldn't be mad. Wakko started chewing on his lip again.

"Thieves. You were both thieves," Dot muttered while looking from them to the article.

She slipped off Yakko's lap and went to lean against the doorframe, her back to them. "All this time I thought Dipwing and his snotty daughter were lying, but they weren't-"

Wakko exchanged a panicked glance with Yakko.

Talking gently, Yakko said, "Look, Dot, it wasn't like that. We had-"

"You lied to me." Spinning around, she began speaking, her voice getting louder as she went on. "You said you weren't thieves, Darkwing was lying! And I believed you! I defended you every time-"

"But Dot, he never lied. He never said we weren't thieves. He just always said Darkwing was an asshole," Wakko felt compelled to point out after seeing Yakko's face. Yakko looked so…devastated. He hadn't wanted Dot to find out ever what they used to do.

"While I may not have always said it like that sib, he's right," Yakko said, shooting him a glance before turning back to Dot, kneeling down so he could look in her face. "Darkwing still doesn't know what he's talking about. Neither does this reporter, King Jeremy the wicked or whatever his name is. We never…I mean we did but not…the article's wrong!"

_Great. Yakko's stuttering. We're screwed._

"It's not wrong! I remember being at the home - you attacked someone! Lots of someone's! And you're always talking about not stealing or lying but you do it yourself! You hypo..hipi…hyper…you're both crooks!"

_The word's hypocrite you ungrateful little snot._

"We did it for you too you know," Wakko muttered. "He didn't want to-"

"Shut up Wakko you-you cheat!"

_Cheat?_

Wakko felt his face go hot. He'd never cheated…OK, he grabbed an extra handful of money a few times when they played Monopoly but he'd been certain she hadn't seen him.

"You shut up! I've never cheated-"

"Both of you shut up," Yakko said.

Wakko cut his sentence off. Yakko had never told either of them to shut up. Usually someone was telling him to shut up. Wakko had a feeling that Yakko heard it enough that he didn't like saying it to anyone else.

"This isn't helping; we've got a crisis happening and you two want to throw insults at each other. We've got to stick together, not tear each other apart. Save that for after this is over," Yakko finished.

"Like when the studio throws us out in the streets?" Wakko muttered.

"The studio's not going to do that," Yakko said. "I hope. They knew about most of this," he added, talking quietly to himself. "I was upfront with them when Mr. Spielberg took out the posters and began asking about-"

"Posters?" Dot screeched while flicking her tail tip. "We were on TIS wanted posters? Everyone's seen us! They think I'm some two-bit con girl! No, not even that - they think I'm like you! I don't want to be the sister of a thief!"

_Brat. He wasn't the only one - don't blame him for all of it. Couldn't she see what she was doing to Yakko?_

Reaching out to her, Yakko said, "Dot! Please just listen-"

Yakko trailed off as with a final glare at both of them Dot ran from the kitchen, slamming her bedroom door seconds later.

Still chewing on his lip, Wakko looked at his older brother, still crouching on the floor. Now though he had his head bent down, his right hand absently rubbing the bridge of his nose while he gazed back toward the bedroom.

Wakko hated being in this situation. Dot was mad at both of them; mostly Yakko really, but he knew he was included in that anger. But Yakko - Yakko looked dejected. Even his ears were hanging low. Wakko hoped he didn't start crying.

Unsure of what to do, he walked the few steps to come up beside Yakko and put his arm around his shoulder. He really wasn't used to trying to be the comforter. To Dot sometimes but she was little and a girl. Give her a hug and she was usually happy. But what was he supposed to do for his older brother?

Figuring a hug was the only thing in his repertoire, he crouched down beside Yakko and put his arms around his waist.

"She didn't mean it," he said. "She's kinda surprised I think-"

"Great deduction there Auguste Dupin - find the Queen's letter yet?"

Wakko looked at him but refrained from frowning more. Yakko was picking on him, but he didn't get the joke. Probably some boring book Yakko read - he read a lot. And it was always stuff Wakko wouldn't read so he usually felt like an idiot.

"Um…yeah. But she didn't mean anything. Sometimes she's like you and just talks a lot. But not as much as you."

_You sound like a retard._

Trying to salvage the conversation and cheer Yakko up, he took a breath and added, "But she really likes being known as your sister. If it makes you feel better, I like being your brother-"

"Thanks Wakko for a line so cheesy I just felt my cholesterol level increase twenty points," he snapped. "You've solved everything."

_Ouch. Congratulations Wakko, you officially made things worse._

Stung, he winced and muttered, "Sorry; trying to help. I'll leave you alone."

"I-"

Wakko stood up, wanting to get away from Yakko as quickly as possible before he said something to either make it worse or get himself in trouble. There was already enough of that around.

Yakko's rejection of him hurt, but he probably didn't mean it. Usually Yakko didn't snap out at either him or Dot, sort of like he didn't usually swear, so he was really upset. Maybe Yakko would feel better in awhile if he left him alone.

Not looking at Yakko as he muttered something that sounded like 'nice Yakko, smooth', Wakko swiftly went into the living room, debating on leaving the tower. Yakko certainly wouldn't like that. He'd flip if he found out Wakko left the tower without permission.

Wakko thought about it for a second; he didn't want to leave the tower. If Yakko had found the article in a magazine he didn't usually read, it was a sure bet that others had seen the article too. And unlike them, the other readers weren't exactly there; they wouldn't know what the truth was.

Thinking about that, he decided to stay in the tower. Truth be told he was a little embarrassed - while TP and Spielberg knew most of their history, they had been discreet. Wakko didn't even think any of their tutors knew much about what happened before they came to the lot.

He didn't know about the other adults Yakko talked to, but he knew he hadn't mentioned any of it to his friends. He felt himself color slightly; Buster, Max, Plucky - even Elmyra and Babs - he hadn't told any of them anything about any of it. He wondered if they'd be mad. He hoped not. But they probably wouldn't want to hang out with him anymore either. Yakko had said before no one liked a thief or a liar. And he remembered how pissed Buster had been when he found out about Wakko's diabetes. He had a feeling that was minor compared to this. That stupid writer and idiot duck had probably just cost him most, if not all, of his friends.

Well, that wasn't fair. He probably cost himself his friends; he was the one who chose not to tell them about anything that had happened. He hadn't lied when they asked him questions about his family history or what the deal was with Gosalyn at the function but he hadn't been forthcoming with information either. He probably should have; if his friends chose not to talk with him anymore, it was his own fault.

He'd still like to pound Jeremy the writer and Dipshit Duck into the ground with his mallet though. He never got enough opportunity to utilize his mallet and they would both be such deserving targets too.

He chose to look on the bright side. The writer of the article had obviously done really poor research; he hadn't found out about his diabetes or that Yakko got the trots when he drank milk.

He flopped on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest so he could rest his chin on them. Looking at the clock on their VCR, he saw it was eight-forty-eight in the morning. Nothing good came on that early on Saturday morning; even the old Looney Tunes shorts wouldn't come on until eleven. Max had loaned him a tape he made of 'Ren and Stimpy' cartoons; he could watch that. Or play a video game maybe. But he really didn't feel like getting up; in actuality he didn't feel like watching TV. Sighing, he put his forehead against his knees instead.

"Wak?"

Wakko looked up; Yakko was coming around the side of the couch with a frown on his face.

_Great, what's he want? I said I'd leave him alone._

Wakko looked back toward the dark television as Yakko sat down awkwardly beside him. He stiffened when he felt Yakko put his arm around his waist and pull him onto his lap. He rarely sat in Yakko's lap anymore, the spot had mostly been handed over to Dot who stayed glued in it half the time. Besides, he'd probably look like a baby if anyone saw him. He was almost nine…well, he would be in another five months, but close enough. That was way too old to be sitting in anyone's lap, especially his older brother's. That, and Yakko probably preferred holding Dot; if nothing else, she weighed less.

"Look kiddo, I need to apologize about what I said."

Wakko nodded and felt Yakko rest his chin on the top of his head.

"It's OK."

"No it's not OK; I was way out of line in there. You didn't deserve that-"

_Yeah I didn't. Still didn't stop you though. _

"-and I'm sorry."

Wakko shrugged, happy with the simple but heartfelt apology. Yakko talked a lot, but a lot of times it was just filler surrounding one or two main thoughts. Sometimes he preferred the simple direct approach so he didn't have to cut through a lot of bullcrap to figure out what his brother was saying.

Leaning back into his chest, he had forgotten how comfortable it was sometimes to just sit there with him…or on him. He'd never admit it, but sometimes he missed sitting with Yakko like this. No matter what had happened or what he had done or said, Yakko knew how to fix it. He'd probably be able to fix this too.

"But just so you know, I'm happy you like being my brother," Yakko said, curling his arms tighter around his waist. "Forgive your jerk of a brother?"

_You were forgiven as soon as you said it._

Wakko shrugged before saying, "Yeah. You're not a jerk…most of the time."

"Thanks sib, so glad I meet with your approval…most of the time," Yakko muttered, pulling him closer to his chest. "Now I've got to see if Dot's as forgiving as you are-"

"Maybe."

Yakko leaned over to see around the back of the couch, and Wakko braced and clutched at the cushion. Dot was slowly trudging over to them; he had a feeling he'd have to abandon his current position. She looked kinda forlorn, eyes rimmed in red and wiping at her nose while she pouted.

"You coulda told me ya know," she muttered while looking at Yakko. "I deserved to know-"

"I didn't think you were old enough," Yakko said helplessly. "I didn't think any of us were old enough."

"I'm old enough to be called a thief in a magazine article though. Don't you think I can hear it?"

Wakko glanced at her before looking at Yakko. She was right, she probably ought to know some of it, so she would at least know what was crap and what wasn't. Even he wasn't sure on some things. He had gaps in his memory about certain things and had asked Yakko about different memories he had. Yakko always gave him props for remembering what he did, saying he was so young that what he did recall was amazing and showed signs of him having a good memory. But then he would gloss over the answer to whatever he just asked or change the subject entirely.

Wakko didn't get quite as upset about it as Dot though. He figured that sooner or later he'd find out what had happened. Dot took it as a personal insult, like they were trying to keep her out of some great secret. What he remembered wasn't all bad, but most of it wasn't great either.

Finally Yakko sighed, holding his left arm out. Wakko went to move, intending to sit on the couch beside him. Yakko tightened the arm around his waist though and just shifted him to his right leg. Dot crawled up to sit on Yakko's left leg. Pleasantly surprised, Wakko leaned back into Yakko's chest; if he wasn't going to be booted from his perch he may as well get comfortable.

"If you promise to listen and not get mad at us, I'll tell you about the stuff in the article. Some of it."

"Some?" Dot asked, indignant. "Yakko, I want-"

"No Dot. Same deal as always; you ask something I don't think you're old enough for, we wait until you are." He shrugged before saying, "Take it or leave it sib, I'm not in the mood to debate it right now."

"Fine," she huffed. "I think it's a crummy deal though. I'm getting talked about too-"

"And I'll share what I can," he said, cutting her off.

Wakko watched Dot purse her lips before nodding, asking about the theft issues and assaults. Wakko stayed quiet, content to listen. Dot asked good questions and Yakko seemed willing to answer most of what she was shooting out at him. He barely finished answering something or describing a situation before she was firing another one at him.

The only thing he seemed hesitant about was answering questions about Twink, their father and when they had gone to court. Pretty much the only thing that he said about their father was that he was a piano player and pickpocket and had trained both his sons in his unique career because the family needed money. He was kinda of close-lipped on their mother too.

Wakko closed his eyes as he listened to Yakko talk. It was interesting to visit his own memories of different events and situations they had been in from another person's point of view. Some things he remembered; other things he didn't remember at all or had very hazy memories of. He remembered very little of his mother; he sort of remembered that she sang a lot, was klutzy and Daddy used to bring her medicine in a blue bag.

Wakko realized one thing; Yakko had to deal with a lot, not only now but even before they got to the lot. Almost everything he had ever done had been to better their lives in some way. Even if it was something minor like being a reading assistant at a library to get some money to make sure there was some sort of food on the table or taking it upon himself to teach them to read or risking arrest to get back his sister.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn't realize that Yakko had stopped talking and Dot seemed to be out of questions for the moment.

"So all that stuff in the magazine it was true, but it sort of wasn't," Dot mused.

"I'd prefer to say it was a highly edited account of mostly actual facts," Yakko said.

"Other than getting our names correct and the places we were, most of the rest of it was bunk."

"But everything you did, you did it to protect us, or keep us together," Dot argued. "You weren't trying to hurt people and you didn't want to be a robber-"

"I prefer the term pickpocket," Yakko muttered. "Robber makes us sound like a couple of highway men."

"And you sent all the money back," she said while giving a shrug. "I don't see what the problem is."

"We're still sending it back," Wakko mumbled. "Every month we have to sit there and go through a huge pile and write letters-"

"Quiet Wakko, it's one day a month-"

"Can I help?" Dot asked.

Wakko blinked at her. She wanted to sit there and write stupid notes? He shook his head, trying to warn her off. No sense in both of them having to do it. It'd be easier if Yakko would just send the cash back with no note.

Yakko shook his head. "No, you had nothing to do with any of it, you shouldn't have to sit there and-"

"But I did, sort of. You - Wakko too," she added, looking at him before returning her gaze to Yakko, "You both stole all that stuff to keep us fed. I wanna help."

Yakko looked over at Wakko who shrugged. If she wanted to be confined to the table in the kitchen scribbling out notes to people she never met it wasn't any of his business. He doubted Yakko would let him out of doing it because Dot joined, but at least it would be one less letter for him to write and they wouldn't have to sneak around doing it. He was actually happy Dot knew about it, even if she found out by seeing their names dragged through the mud in that stupid magazine.

After a few seconds, Yakko finally nodded. "Fine. I planned on doing a few next weekend. You can sit down with us then."

"Good," Dot said, nodding once to herself in affirmation.

She snuggled into Yakko's chest, bringing her knees up and hitting Wakko in his ribs. He gave her a glare, but she ignored him.

"I didn't mean what I said before to you, about not wanting to be your sister. I'm sorry, I should have listened to you before I said anything."

"It's forgiven sib - I tend not to listen like I should sometimes either," Yakko said, cutting his eyes to Wakko briefly. "Now that the Walton's moment is over, we've got other problems to deal-"

He cut off as the phone rang, startling all of them. Usually everyone was clamoring to reach it first; this time though they stared at each other, no one wanting to answer it.

After the sixth ring, it stopped, only to start again. Then there was a pounding at the tower door, a loud constant thumping.

Yakko sighed and moved both of them off his lap as he stood up.

"Wakko, go get the phone - hopefully it's a wrong number. I'll find out whose trying to knock the door down."

Wakko nodded, exchanging a look with Dot. She looked scared. He understood. With their luck they were probably getting ready to be attacked by reporters and angry studio executives. With their newest bit of publicity the ratings would probably plummet.

Hoping it wasn't Mr. Spielberg saying they had to vacate the lot within an hour, he reached up for the phone and hesitantly said, "Hello?"

"What's up doc?"

Wakko breathed out a sigh of relief. Bugs. Even if they had to leave the property, the rabbit would probably tell them nicely.

"Hi Bugs. How are you?"

"I'm presuming better than you three. Love to chat with you Wak and I will later, but right now, is Yakko there?"

Wakko nodded before he remembered he was on the phone. "He went to get the door."

"That'll be Bernie with the others."

_Oh no…others? OK, Buster's in trouble, he won't be with him anyway. Must be other adults, probably want to talk to Yakko._

"He headed over after he saw your newest fan article," Bugs drawled. "And I'm coming over shortly to handle some damage control. At least TTG was nice enough to pull out the real garbage for their weekend edition. Bigger reader base on the weekends, but most everyone is free to come help you guys."

_Well, that's nice. Not sure what they think they're going to do, but at least they're trying._

"OK. About that stuff, some of it isn't true, Yakko really-"

"I'm positive about ninety-eight percent isn't true, or is at least a highly fictionalized account of some truth. I'll tell ya right now doc, some of these journalists can be ruthless. We've all had run ins with them over the years. To get a story they'll run roughshod over anyone."

Wakko nodded, believing that. He looked up as Yakko came into the kitchen, Dot curled in his arms. Standing behind him was Mr. Bunny, who caught his eye and gave him his customary lopsided smile and mouthed something that looked like 'the others are out front'.

Wakko frowned. He hoped 'others' meant people he didn't know, but from the look on his face he had a feeling he wasn't that lucky.

Nodding to him and exchanging a small smile with Yakko, he said into the phone, "Bugs, Yakko's here now and he's got Mr. Bunny with him."

"Good. Go see your friends-"

_He is here…and with the word 'friends' it means that more than one's here…I don't want to see any of them right now!_

Wakko shook his head and said, "No! I don't want to see them right now!" Panicked, he added, "Why are they even here? I don't know what to say and-"

"They're your friends doc. I heard a really great quote a long time ago when I was going through a hard time; misfortune shows those who are not really friends. They're there to see you aren't they? Speaks highly of them…and of you."

_Well…maybe._

"OK.," he said hesitantly, wondering what he was going to have to deal with. "Here's Yakko."

"Thanks Wakko - see ya in awhile."

Wakko handed the phone up to Yakko who took it with his free hand and he walked into the living room. Buster, Plucky and Max - he should have known. He wondered how much begging Buster had to do to get out of confinement to come to the lot and talk his father into picking up the others. Buster and Plucky both looked awake but Max looked like he just got out of bed; his white button down shirt was wrinkled and half his hair was sticking out from the side of his head. Unusual; Max was usually dressed impeccably.

The human toon looked up at him as he slowly walked over to the couch and said, "Look guys, here's the fugitive mime now." Glaring at Wakko he added, "You better be happy; I left the house looking like this to come see you."

_That's got to say something - Max always looked well put together. The only ten year old that always has his shoes polished and his pants pressed; not that he does it himself._

"Uh, yeah, thanks. What are you three doing here?"

"I was sleeping my day away like the idle rich brat that I am until featherhead here called me and said I had to get the hell up," Max said, pointing to Plucky.

Plucky snapped at him with his beak before saying, "Piss off Monty! I thought you'd want to know."

"I would rather have found out from him," he retorted while pointing toward Wakko.

"So would I," Buster said, walking toward Wakko. "What the hell man? You could have told us. I knew about the _guardian ad salvus_ but I had no idea why you guys were hiding out from TIS!"

Wakko rolled his eyes. "What, tell you that I used to be a homeless pickpocket? Even you can't have expected me to say anything about that!"

"Well, would have been better than lying! You said you didn't know where your father was!" Buster yelled at him. "Anything else you lied about?"

Wakko glared at him, ignoring the now silent Plucky and Max.

"I never lied about it Bunny. Until I read that damned article, I didn't know where he was. The last time I saw him was when I was in a restaurant with Yakko and Dot before I got picked up!" Stalking toward Buster he added loudly, "How do you think that makes me feel? Yakko said he ran when the cops pinched him out on the street, and he never bothered to show up for our Court case! He abandoned us - twice! Between that and living out on the streets - if he did abandon us, do you think I wanted to brag about that?"

Buster had backed up slightly. Wakko felt a little bad; he rarely yelled or got that angry. Glancing behind him, he could see Yakko with the phone still pressed to his ear and Dot clutching at his chest peering at them from the kitchen, Mr. Bunny still behind him. Wakko took a breath and tried to calm down. He wasn't really mad, not at them. Well, maybe a little at Buster - what did the stupid rabbit think he was going to do?

"Look, Wakko," Buster started, then fell silent as he appeared to be thinking carefully about his next words. "Screw it, I'm sorry. You're right - for once. I just thought…I don't know…you didn't trust us."

"You got real trust issues Bunny," he said. "I've never lied about a damn thing to you - well once. When you wore that red and yellow t-shirt with the shorts you didn't look cool like I told you; you sort of looked like Baby Gonzo and-"

He had to cut off as Max and Plucky started laughing and Buster shot him a glare.

"Screw you inky - I admit it, I got a quirk."

"Not your only one either," Max muttered, shooting a smirk to Wakko.

"Piss off mongoloid - you don't trust anyone," Buster snapped back. "Shut up Duck, your laughing isn't helping. Fine, I admit it, I was pissed and being a jerk. You wanna talk about it?"

"Why would he? Half of it's probably bullshit anyway," Plucky said. "It always is."

"Apparently doesn't stop you from reading it though," Wakko said. "Yakko never reads it."

"How'd you find out about it?" Buster asked curiously.

"Bugs called him at seven-thirty this morning to warn him not to get upset. Yakko said he about hung up on Bugs and ran across the lot to the newspaper stand to buy it. He came back and read it. Me and Dot came out and he finally read it out loud."

"Sucky way to find out; early morning phone calls are never good," Buster said. "If you wanna tell us about it…I mean I'm not forcing you or anything, but you know…when you want to I'll listen."

_Might help clear the air. I really didn't expect him to be that hurt about it._

Wakko nodded. "If you want to hear it-"

He cut off at the three of them chorusing out things like 'hell yeah' and 'oh boy story time'. Rolling his eyes and gesturing to the couch, he sat down with them and briefly filled them in on what had actually happened, or filled in details that were missing from the article.

When he finished he looked at them, surprised at himself. He hardly talked that much, not at one time.

"So you're a real ghetto kid," Plucky said. "Cool. I want to know if you've ever rolled down a street smoking indo while sipping on gin and juice?"

_Ass._

"Screw you Plucky-"

"Just yanking your chain Wak," he said easily. "I don't see a huge problem. Besides that asshole Darkwing of course."

"I agree," Buster said, looking thoughtful. "Though he's made himself look as bad. The article is basically half truth; it's written to make you look bad. Yakko did assault a few people, but it was people trying to capture you or separate you. The home separated you, but not for rehabilitation. You two never went out of your way to rob people; well, you did, but you said you did it mostly to prove to yourself you could."

"And you're paying them back," Max added with a smirk. "I sure as hell wouldn't do it, but I suppose it's good publicity."

"I don't think that's why Yakko insisted we do it," Wakko said.

"Probably not; he's got one of those…what do you call it?" Max mused quietly. "Oh yeah, a conscience. Whole feeling bad about stuff-"

Plucky laughed. "Shut up Monty- you got one too whether you admit it or not. You suck at playing the whole 'I'm-too-cool-for-that-caring-crap' game."

Glaring at him, Max whispered, "Yeah, right, you're so cool I can't believe it. I totally live in the shadow of your fat ass."

"Oh yeah, good, make me mad - I know secrets on you buddy-"

"Don't even think about-"

"Like this one 'Mr.-I-don't-give-a-crap'…Who's the one that insisted that their father donate a few grand to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation when they found out that Wak-"

Max gave a low growl and lunged at him from across the couch, knocking both of them to the floor. He wrapped his hands around the duck's throat and said, "I got a new game to play now - it's called hide and go fuck yourself-"

Gasping for air Plucky managed to grunt out, "Let go you ass monkey-"

"Will you two idiots shut up?" Buster hissed as he looked over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "You want them to hear? We came over here to help Wakko, not beat each other's asses. We can do that anytime. Morons! Though I didn't know about that Monty, that sort of rocks-"

"Damn you Plucky. You and your big mouth."

Touched, Wakko watched the human toon. He knew Max tried to come off like a heartless cold-hearted jerk and most of the times he succeeded with flying colors. Deep down though, he wasn't quite the total jerk he portrayed on their series. He wasn't far from it, but he did occasionally give some indication that he had a heart. But he was definitely the only guy Wakko knew that would get pissed because someone said he donated money to a charity because one of his friends had the disease.

Buster settled back into the couch, asking Wakko more questions, seemingly interested in the places they had hidden before coming to the lot. Wakko scooted closer to him to talk so Max and Plucky could have the rest of the couch to wrestle each other on.

Friends could be weird, but like Bugs said, when times got tough the real friends were the ones that got together early on a Saturday morning to come cheer you up. And at the very least, it didn't seem like his three friends were inclined to stay away from him because he was a potential bad influence.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Everyone's got someone here but me_, Dot thought moodily to herself. _Wakko's got his gang of idiots out there in the living room, Mr. Bunny's here with Yakko, Bugs and Slappy are on the way so they can all go see TP to try to sort out the mess…my friends can't even call._

But they probably couldn't because Mr. Bunny was on the phone talking to Bugs. Maybe they were trying to call and they just couldn't get through. That thought cheered her up slightly.

Or maybe not. She remembered the part in the article where Darkwing said he hoped everyone would stay away from them, especially the younger Disney toons, meaning Molly and Webbigail. Ms. Cunningham seemed nice enough; maybe she wouldn't ban Molly from talking to her. Since she hadn't met Webbigail's parents she couldn't say how they would react.

She glanced up at Yakko's face. When he had handed the phone to Mr. Bunny he had sat down at the kitchen table with her still in his arms. He had seemed calm but worried on the phone with Bugs. But Yakko was usually calm. Sitting in his arms she could feel that his body was stiff and rigid; even now as he was sitting at the table she could feel that he was still tense.

Usually he was a lot more relaxed. Not floppy and doughy like Ralph; she could feel the muscles under his fur, but normally he was strong and firm. She had once told Wakko she thought he felt like stone covered in velvet, but Wakko had told her that was gay and something only a girl would say.

Which made sense. Even though Yakko had cut certain information out of the story he had told her earlier, she could tell that he had gone through a lot. He'd only be thirteen in a week…

She wrinkled her nose as she concentrated. Yakko in thirteen years had probably done more than most adults had done in their lifetime. It was because of him they were all together instead of scattered around at different homes. It was because of him that they had been able to eat regularly and knew how to read and could access their hammerspaces and had jobs.

Yakko had told her that he wasn't responsible for all of that; apparently Wakko had a hand in some of it. He was responsible for getting Darkwing chasing them and getting all of them to the lot. He hadn't done it on purpose and she definitely thought Darkwing was overreacting to the entire situation; according to Yakko they had given the wallet back to Yosemite Sam and TIS and TTF couldn't touch them. They weren't exactly fugitives from justice - why was Darkwing being so mean?

She wanted to do a counter-interview with the press telling them that he was a dink and that his daughter was a snot, but Yakko said they couldn't do that. Mostly because he didn't know enough words that would be allowed to be printed to describe his feelings about Darkwing, but also because that would make them look worse.

Yakko saw her staring at him and finally asked, "What Dot? I grow a third ear or something?"

"No, just thinking." curling up into a tighter ball in his lap she asked, "What's gonna happen now? Wakko's wrong right? We're not gonna be fired are we?"

"I doubt it," Yakko said.

She wasn't convinced. If he sounded that unsure, how could she be?

"If we were going to be fired, I think someone would have already told us to start packing our underwear. But I don't know what's going to happen. Bugs said he knew a few reporters that would love to get an interview with him, especially if we were with him."

She gasped. "An interview? With who? I'd love to do an interview-"

"I bet - but I doubt you'll be allowed to go off on a diatribe about Dipwing and Red." He sighed before saying, "I'm not sure with who. Plotz and some publicists are going to get involved, a few other toons Bugs said wanted to give statements. I don't know - I feel sort of left out. Everyone seems to know what to do now, and for once I don't have any idea what's going to happen and that scares me, I don't like not having some sort of plan before handing over control of everything-"

Dot frowned as Yakko talked. And talked some more. Talking was one of Yakko's ways of relieving stress, sort of like her practicing dancing or Wakko playing his violin. But if Yakko wanted to talk, she'd listen.

Mr. Bunny hung up the phone and looked into the living room.

Shaking his head, he muttered, "Excuse me - boys fighting. I'll be back." Walking into the living room he said loudly, "Plucky! Max! Can't you two try getting along? Look at Buster and Wakko - they're behaving…what am I saying…"

Dot heard Max and Plucky start making kissing sounds and then Wakko and Buster start throwing insults at them. Yakko snorted and started to chuckle.

"When are Bugs and Slappy going to get here?" she asked. If Slappy was coming, maybe Skippy would come too. At least then she'd have someone who she considered a friend there.

Yakko shrugged. "No idea. Bugs was on his way is all I know."

Dot gave a slight start as the phone started ringing again. Running a hand through his hair Yakko stood to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hi! It's me! Molly! You remember me right?"

"Yes Molly, I remember you," he said wearily. "You always ask me and I always-"

"Good! I'm not forgettable am I?"

"Got that right," he muttered while pulling the phone away from his ear as Molly kept talking. "I keep trying but it just won't happen-"

Dot gave him a frown. He caught it and smirked at her and she deepened her frown. She knew Molly was hyper but she really didn't talk more than Yakko. Most times anyway.

"-but I think Mommy's mad that he said it because she said it makes the studio look bad like we're a bunch of bullies picking on kids and the adults here aren't like that except maybe Karnage and Pete and-"

Dot started giggling as Yakko opened his mouth to speak when Molly took a breath, but she started talking again before he got a word out. Maybe Molly did talk a lot, but it was fun seeing someone who could outtalk Yakko. Irritated, he closed his mouth and gave her what Wakko called the 'long suffering' look.

"-but Kit said hi because he's right here and he said he'd give Darkwing a kick in his feathered nads if you want-"

"Molly don't say that!" Kit yelled from the background, almost drowning out Molly's still chattering voice. "Damn it! You're gonna get me in trouble!"

"and is Dot there because I really called to speak to her you know even though I really like talking to you!"

_Isn't she sweet?_

"Yes yes God yes she's here and boy is she anxious to talk to you," Yakko said hurriedly. "Here ya go!"

Using his tail Yakko grabbed the chair they had been sitting in and pulled it toward them. Dot felt herself being plopped down in it and the phone being thrust in her hand before Yakko waved and double stepped out of the kitchen.

Cocking her head in surprise at the speed he ran out, she pressed the phone to her ear as Molly continued to merrily chat to empty air.

"-but I don't think you should do that Yakko because yellow doesn't look good on many boys and while I think you're cute you should stick to blue maybe beca-"

"Hi Molly!"

There was a long pause, and Dot was worried that she may have hung up or her batteries ran dead, sort of like that Energizer Bunny ad she'd seen on TV.

"Dot? Dottie!"

Dot winced and wondered how much sugar Molly had gotten into. She hated Dottie. She chose not to say anything for now; she was too happy Molly had called. Besides, Molly was a girl - it was cuter when she did it.

No it wasn't. She'd correct Molly later.

"Hi Molly," she said again. "I'm glad you called-"

"Me too! I love to talk-"

_Couldn't tell._

"-especially to my friends! And you're my friend I don't care what that stupid article said."

"Thanks Molly. I guess everyone's read it."

"Probably. Mommy didn't want me reading it, but when she left to go to the office to pick up some paperwork Kit read it to me but it cost me all my Twizzlers and I think it was worth it because I wanted to know-"

"Damn Molly you got to tell them everything?" Kit bellowed from the background.

"Shut up Kit or I'll tell Mommy about you sneaking out to kiss that girl!" Molly screeched.

Dot pulled the phone away from her ear and started giggling. Not hearing Kit in the background she figured it was probably a valid threat.

"OK, he's gone. Anyway, he read it to me and I don't care what it says I'm not gonna not be your friend. Mommy said that was good because she thinks you're nice too and that a real friend doesn't run at the first sign of trouble. She said the only way to have a friend is to be one."

Dot felt a slight warm feeling come over her. The Cunninghams were the sweetest family in the world. Well, maybe not Kit if he made Molly give him her candy to read that article to her. Thinking, it sounded like something Wakko would do.

"That's the sweetest thing I've heard….in a while," Dot said quietly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Molly said cheerfully. "Mommy's full of good sayings - she's really smart. Hey! I got an idea before - maybe next weekend you can come over! Would you like that? Would that make you happy?"

_More than anything._

She had always been jealous of Wakko because he got to leave the lot to see his friends. He could only go to Buster's house, but it was still more than she could do. It wasn't fair.

With a slight frown she said, "Yes. But I can't. You know I have to have a chaperone-"

"Nurse Miller can do it! Mommy's friends with her! She can come over too!"

"-and it's Yakko's birthday," Dot finished.

After all Yakko had gone through for them, she couldn't miss his birthday. Wakko said he couldn't ever remember Yakko having any sort of party on his birthday. Given their previous circumstances she understood, but that wasn't fair. Maybe Lisa could take her out this week to get a present. Maybe she could buy him a cake too.

Yakko might not have had a party ever, but she could remember last year; he made sure she had gotten a celebration and her gloves. He had taken Wakko out and got him a book. Since he always made sure they had something, she was going to make sure he got one too.

Wakko might want to hide from his friends and the world but she wasn't. She didn't see where they had anything to be ashamed of and would proudly march off the lot and dare anyone to say anything to her. She'd kick anyone who said anything about them in the shins. Yakko had done what he had to do to keep them together. She was proud of him and what he had accomplished, no matter how he had to do it.

"Yakko's birthday!" Molly gasped, excited. "I'll have to get him a present! How old's he gonna be?"

"Thirteen-"

"Like Kit!"

"Yeah, like Kit," Dot agreed. She sighed. "I need to find him a present myself, but I haven't thought about it, and with this new…issue that's popped up I hope I can get out to shop."

"I know you can! Maybe you can get Nurse Miller to take you out this week, and maybe I can get Mommy to take me out this week and we can shop together!" She squealed in delight before adding, "That would be fun!"

"It'd be great!" Dot exclaimed. After a moment, she grumbled, "I wish it didn't have to be like this, always having to schedule things far in advance and try to find chaperones so we can leave the lot. It's not fair."

"No it's not. But it's better than it was right? Being homeless? Or stuck in that stinky home. And without Mommy and Nurse Miller being friends, and Nurse Miller being able to take you out, we'd never have met. Or we might have at a function, I don't know. Instead I'm happy that you're where you're at and can get off the lot at all; imagine how bad it would be if you couldn't."

_She's right. I'm whining about needing a chaperone when things could be ten times worse. At that home where they took me away, or living on the streets…if we were on the street Wakko might not have lived since we couldn't take him to a hospital because we wouldn't have any money._

"Molly, sometimes you're the smartest person I know."

End Chapter 20


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 - With a Little Help From my Friends

August 3, 1993

"Thief! Hey, think he grabbed my wallet!"

"Asshole. Hey, Warner, can I have your autograph? I like your show!"

"Hey, Bunny! Buster Bunny! Come on man, smile for the camera!"

"Hey Toonsters, you know who you're hanging with?" a fat human yelled from the fence line of the studio. "Get away from the Artful Dodger there! His show sucks! He might steal your wallets!"

Embarrassed, Wakko tried not to look toward the voices coming from the front gate. So much for hoping the whole mess would blow over. Ralph gave him and the others a friendly wave before turning his large face back to the crowd of photographers and reporters and the occasional tourist.

"Ignore them Wakko, just ignore them," Buster hissed quietly. "For every ass clown yelling negative crap at you, you've got three more saying you rule. Not everyone believes this shit."

Max nodded. "The rabbit's right for the first time this year. I put up with this shit all the time-"

"You do?" Wakko asked, surprised.

"Yeah, his Dad's been accused of a few…unethical dealings in the past," Plucky added with a smirk. "Every now and then he gets besieged with reporters wanting to know if he feels bad because his dad makes his money off the less fortunate."

"And to answer the question…I don't," Max said with a shrug. "Accusing and proving are two different things. Dad's been accused of insider trading so often it's amazing that at least one of the charges hasn't stuck."

"You're used to it though," Buster said. "Have a heart Monty, try being sympathetic-"

"I'll let you handle that Bunny; it's the only thing you're better at than me."

"Don't start Monty," Plucky said, "Or I'll tell them about-"

"Damn it Duck, I'll tie your tongue in a knot if you-"

"Buster! Wakko! Look this way! Come on, I'm on your side! Just a few pictures for 'TT Dreams'?" A pretty black and grey tabby cat toon girl asked. Standing apart from the crowd, she was able to catch their attention. The rest of the paparazzi were still by the guard shack besieging Ralph for information on the Warners and how they had cuckold the studio.

Holding up her camera to the fence, she gave them an anxious smile, her yellowish green eyes not holding all the maliciousness he had seen in the other reporters and photographers. "Please? This is my first assignment; I'm trying to impress the bosses."

Wakko slowed. She was being nice, even asking before she took the picture. Maybe he could pose for one, everyone kept telling him not to hide…

Buster sensed him stopping. Turning and catching Wakko's eye, he nodded and held his hand up so that Plucky and Max saw what he was doing. Max put a hand over his eyes and shook his head while Plucky smirked.

Pointing to the woman who was now smiling and twitching her tail, Buster said, "It'll look good; always have a photographer or reporter on your side, and one just starting out could be a benefit down the road. Wakko, you've got nothing to hide. Guys, look friendly."

Sighing, Wakko turned with the others, feeling Buster put his arm around his shoulder on his right and Max put his arm around his left. He put his own arms around them, feeling Plucky wedging in on the other side of Max and gave the best grin he could muster given the situation. Only a few days and the taunts had gotten worse.

He had tried refusing to leave the tower yesterday but that hadn't gotten him far. Yakko had just picked him up and flung him over his shoulder, intent on carrying him down the ladder if need be. Wakko had finally climbed down reluctantly, Dot reminding him again that he didn't have anything to be ashamed about, him or Yakko.

"Thanks guys!" The girl quickly snapped a few photographs, blinding him with the flash. She shoved a few business cards through the fence which Wakko took from her. Looking at the card, he saw her name was Anica Adams and she was a staff journalist for 'TT Dreams' - 'Teen Toon Dreams'. He groaned; that was the magazine Babs was always reading. He hoped it wasn't in there. Maybe it wouldn't be; he was sort of grimacing in the picture he thought.

Anica was asking a few questions of the others, mostly to do with their friendship with Wakko and a few other things having to do with the studio and other castmates, talking about pranks, a few bits of general gossip and the last function. Wakko almost kicked Max for mentioning that he had danced with Elmyra.

When she shouted a question to Wakko, asking what the real story was on all the allegations of theft and his older brother's assaults of Toon Inquiry Services employees, he shook his head and Buster said that at this time, he couldn't answer questions and she should just talk to them if she wanted the interview to continue. Picking up the not quite subtle hint, she nodded. He momentarily forgot what he was doing and ended up opening his mouth a few times when the others made jokes.

Unfortunately, her shouted question and their laughing caught the attention of several people by the guard shack, and the group began to move quickly toward their section of the fence. A few older and larger men came forward, shoving their own cameras through the fence and yelling questions and pushing microphones through the links at them, and Anica was knocked roughly toward the back.

"Hey, you don't need to push her!" Wakko yelled at them through the fence.

She shot him a smile and gave a cheerful wave before she disappeared down the street, putting her camera in a bag as she went.

"Do you have a girlfriend yet Wakko?" a human toon asked, pencil in the ready position to write out his answer. "Does she know about your past thievery?"

"Buster, would you say you and Wakko are friends? Do you trust him?"

"What sort of question is that? I tend not to pose for photos with people I don't like," Buster said. "Let's go guys."

"Plucky, I've heard-"

"Come on guys, one more shot! You gave one to that other girl!"

Bemused, Wakko quickly turned to follow Buster, still hearing the reporters yelling questions and snapping pictures of their turned backs as they continued on their way to the cafeteria.

"That was unexpected," Plucky muttered. "I think she's trying to forward her photography career by riding on our backs.

"Excellent deduction there Fagatha Christie," Max said.

"Not here guys," Buster said quietly, stopping both of them before one of their mock fights could break out. "We got to show some support for Wak, we don't want them seeing us arguing and blow that out of proportion too. Let's get something to eat. We've got to be back on set in less than an hour."

"Buster, what the hell was all that?" Wakko asked. "I told you Yakko said Bugs said I wasn't supposed to do any interviews! None of us are! Yakko's gonna spaz-"

"You didn't do an interview Wakko," Buster said. "Interviews involve talking; you never opened your mouth. We answered a few questions about being friends with you that we would have answered in any event the first time a reporter saw the four of us together. You posed for a photograph with your friends. You made several fans and a photographer happy. If you want to look at it this way, it's positive publicity for you. And Bugs told you not to hide right?"

"Yeah, right. I guess," Wakko mumbled, listening to Max and Plucky continuing their argument behind them.

"Relax Wak, it's just an interview. If Bugs or Yakko gets mad I'll take the blame."

"I don't want you to take the blame." Sighing, Wakko said, "I'm just afraid of making things worse. A bunch of people are working hard to try to cover this up-"

"You're doing fine," Plucky said behind him. "And it's not a cover up; they're just filling in the gaps. I have a feeling this is the only time I'll ever say this, but you didn't do anything wrong this time. And you're making progress; you're finally leaving the tower without bodily being dragged from it-"

"I wasn't bodily dragged!"

"Yeah dumbass," Max said, slapping Plucky upside his head. "He was bodily carried like a four year old. It's tons different."

"Screw you Monty you damn vortex of stupidity."

"Go back inside the broken condom that spawned you Duck."

Watching them circle each other, Buster shook his head before turning back to Wakko.

"Let those two kill each other. It'll put them out of our misery. Let me grab a paper."

Wakko crossed his arms as he watched Buster run to the corner of the cafeteria building to get a copy of 'The Animator'.

"Why'd you waste the money? It's just gonna be more crap," Wakko shrugged. "It's what was in the paper yesterday."

"I doubt that. You think the studio's been idly sitting by and letting this spiral out of control? Chances are there's already some buzz about this. Even if not, it's better to know what they're saying. You got an interview coming up; best to know if you're going to be hit with any surprises. Forewarned is forearmed. And 'The Animator' at least isn't publishing half-facts."

"You sound like Bugs."

That was all the rabbit and Yakko had been doing since this nightmare started. Reading papers or talking or planning. Bugs had scheduled an interview with the three of them for tomorrow on the lot. Apparently this interview was one of the head guys at 'The Animator' and was a close personal friend of Bugs. When Bugs needed to get something out or clear up some misconception he always called Carl Woodward.

With them being interviewed, Bugs, TP, everyone involved in publicity had warned them not to give any interviews without prior approval. He hoped taking the picture was OK.

Feeling slightly guilty he resolved to tell Yakko as soon as he saw him. Buster was right probably, a picture probably wouldn't make any difference, but right now it would be better to be safe than sorry. With that thinking, he probably should have thought of that before he took the picture.

"Who do you think I learned it from?" Buster said, giving him an annoyed look. "Like I said before, it's smart to know what the papers are saying, good or bad. Now keep your head up Wakko," Buster hissed to him quietly, pushing open the door to the cafeteria. "No one's gonna say anything."

"Easy for you to say," he muttered back, following him in. Looking around, it seemed like an average day. No one in the cafeteria appeared to be staring at them. No one was making an obvious attempt to hide their wallets. "You didn't have your entire life exposed on the front page of a crappy paper."

"Let one person on the lot say a single thing. I've got big feet and can deliver one hell of a kick."

That was true. Buster's gigantic size fourteen's could probably deliver one hell of a wallop to someone. He didn't need his friend getting in trouble though.

"Dad pretty much said if I kicked someone, well, he'd overlook it."

"So your Dad said you could go around kicking people like a jackass and he'd be OK with it?"

_Man, Mr. Bunny is cool._

"Not exactly. But my big feet and gangly limbs…I'm a growing boy; can get a bit klutzy…"

Buster shot Wakko a small grin which after a second he returned. He had to admit, Buster had hardly left his side when he was on the lot lately. Plucky and Max had also stayed close, as if making a defensive wall around him.

"Um…thanks. All of you."

"Yeah, whatever mime," Max stopped hitting Plucky in the head long enough to grumble. "What are friends for?"

"All 'The Animator' is saying is that they are working on giving the readers the real story…there's an interview scheduled tomorrow…the full interview will be published in the weekend edition…" Buster kept muttering things to himself, and Wakko lifted his ears slightly trying to hear what the rabbit was saying.

He had to admit though, he was glad Buster was willing to read all the papers and reports and such. The only reason Wakko knew what was going on half the time was because of Buster. Like Plucky and Max, he'd be lost without the brainy rabbit grabbing and reading anything he could get his hands on.

"You want to come back to set today Wakko?" Plucky asked. "Daffy's gonna be there this afternoon."

"Whoopie, another fucking bird to deal with," Max muttered.

Snickering, Wakko said, "No, I'm going out with Foghorn-"

"Surrounded by damned birds aren't we?" Max asked, ignoring Plucky's nasty look and Buster's smirk. "Disney doesn't have this many birds-"

"Get your head out of your ass Max, you love us," Plucky said as Max snorted in response.

"What are you doing with Foghorn, Wakko?" Buster asked loudly, talking over the arguing Plucky and Max.

"Dot put my in charge of the birthday cake." Wrinkling his nose he added, "And getting the tower partially clean by Sunday."

Normally he'd be thrilled to be leaving the lot. Now though he was a little nervous, especially after hearing the taunts of the tourists and the crowd of reporters near the fence line.

"Picking out a cake's sort of lame, but hey, better than sitting around listening to a couple of ducks lisp about how great they are," Max quipped. "And don't worry about anyone saying anything to you with him around. I'm a mouthy little shit and even I don't say anything within hearing distance of Foghorn."

Thinking about that, Wakko had to concede that Max had a point. Knowing his bulky tutor, Foghorn would probably try to show him a few moves on some poor photographer' s head.

"I managed to convince Dot not to throw a huge party for Yakko. She wanted to throw some deluxe bash since Yakko's never had one before-"

"That sucks," Plucky muttered.

"Yeah. I told her maybe, this year, he'd like a smaller one. You know, just a few people. With all the stuff that's happening…"

"I think it's a good idea," Buster said. "A small quiet day with a few close friends…he'll probably like it."

Yakko said he didn't want one when Dot mentioned it. A quiet day at home with his sibs is all he said he wanted. After a small bit of planning, Dot had agreed with Wakko though, a few friends, a cake, them not fighting for the day.

"Hopefully. Yakko busted his butt to make sure we always had one…it only seems fair..."

XXXXXXXXXX

Dot looked around the store they were currently in, 'Lavender and Lace'. She didn't see much in there that she thought Yakko would like. She liked the store, it had lots of neat things in it like perfumes and pretty unmentionables and bath soaps, but she didn't think Yakko would like it much. Yakko didn't seem really concerned about smelling pretty.

She wasn't sure, but it seemed like Yakko liked girls more than what the girls wore. Maybe that's why Ms. Cunningham and Lisa had brought them in there; they were going to find something for a girl to wear for Yakko?

"We should get cake and punch and balloons and ice cream and dip and chips and hats and streamers-"

Dot watched Molly, wide-eyed, as the girl listed off every single thing she could think of for a party. And a few things she never thought of.

"Maybe a pony! Or a-oh I know I know! We can take him to The Basic Brown Bear Factory so he can make his very own teddy bear to hold-"

As Molly expunged upon the delights of squeezing a handmade teddy bear, Dot was trying to imagine Yakko curled up on his bed cuddling a stuffed bear. The image was so funny she started laughing, loudly, unable to help it. Lisa must have been thinking the same thing because seeing Dot laughing she starting laughing quietly herself.

"Honey, Molly, little boys don't like teddy bears-"

Molly frowned at her mother before saying, "Everybody likes teddy bears Mommy."

"Yakko isn't everybody dear. He's a young man, he's interested in other things," Lisa said, picking up a bottle of perfume and sniffing it delicately. She must not have liked the scent because she wrinkled her nose and quickly put it back on the shelf, muttering, "Ugh. Lavender-Vanilla."

"Like what Mommy?" Molly chirped. "Does Yakko need some pretty underwear because boys have ugly underwear and back in the back was some really nice-"

"Let's go to a different store Molly," Ms. Cunningham said, quickly grabbing her hand as several women shopping in the next aisle beside them started laughing, quickly going back to look in the racks to hide smiles. "Yakko won't be interested in anything that's sold here."

"I think he would be," Dot said. She knew her brother. "Wakko and Buster said he was looking inside the clown girl's shirt at the function and that he was-"

"Let's go Dot," Lisa said, grabbing her hand and quickly leading her out of the aisle, the women behind them laughing slightly louder. "I think Yakko's got enough unmentionables for now. Maybe a tape or a movie…something not involving underwear."

Dot had the feeling that Lisa was trying to distract her. Wakko said adults did it all the time if you started talking about something they didn't want to talk about. Thinking about it, Yakko did it sometimes too.

"There's a music store down the street, maybe we can go there. I know Kit's interested in music and buys a lot of his stuff there," Ms. Cunningham put in. "Though whether that's because he's interested in the music or the girls that work there is still debatable."

"Yakko likes Pearl Jam, he plays their album all the time," Dot put in, trying to be helpful. "I think that man sounds like he's sick though."

"All the music now sounds like they're sick," Ms. Cunningham muttered.

"We can get him a gift certificate," Lisa said. "He can pick out whatever he wants."

"Fine," Ms. Cunningham said. "We can do that and get a snack at the bistro; sound good you two?"

Another new place to eat. Dot nodded happily as Molly jumped up and down chanting about food, distracted from parties and underwear for the moment.

As she listened to Molly chat and heard the background noise of Ms. Cunningham and Lisa talking she looked around. Yakko had almost not let her go off the lot, still worried about the newspaper article.

She had finally begged and pleaded enough that she had worn him down, but he was still reluctant. Ms. Cunningham and Lisa had finally convinced him, pointing out that if she wasn't worried, and they weren't worried, then he shouldn't be.

Exiting the store and stepping onto the sidewalk, Dot met several people's eyes, both human and toon. No one seemed nasty or were giving her mean looks. In fact, several of them returned her bright smile. Sort of reminded her of a saying Porky told her; smile and the whole world smiles with you.

Her smile quickly disappeared when a very harsh guttural voice sounded behind them. Not only was the voice disturbing, what the voice was saying was as well.

"Is thief? Perhaps help me steal Scrooge's Number One Dime yes? Would be good addition to show."

"Oh for heaven's sake," Ms. Cunningham muttered, turning around.

"Friend of yours Rebecca?" Lisa asked sweetly.

Dot turned and let out a gasp, half delighted, half fearful. She had met stars, both big and not so big, but every time she met a new one she still felt that little bit of initial nervousness. But she had seen her on Webbigail's show, and from the nasty smirking look on the duck's face, she wasn't going to be as nice as the other duckling.

"Don't start Lisa, I'm simply not in the mood." Still gripping Molly's hand, Ms. Cunningham said, "Hello Magica. Still trying to be the cattiest duck on the cast?"

"Phoo! Rebecca, you not help show's reputation, hanging out with thief."

"Pot, meet Kettle," Lisa muttered.

Dot gave her a quizzical look while Molly snickered, putting her little hand to her muzzle.

"Yes, I know dear," Rebecca answered. "Perhaps you should leave then, if you're that worried about my show's status."

"I not talk about me! I talk about her!"

Magica jabbed her finger at Dot, who until then had been quietly watching the adults speaking. When Magica stuck her finger at her however, she did the only thing she could think of. She snapped at her, almost catching her finger in her mouth. Only after her jaws closed, narrowly missing the duck's finger did she think about how gross that was. Who knew where that duck's finger had been?

Surprisingly, neither Ms. Cunningham nor Lisa seemed particularly perturbed by this. Lisa stepped back, making Dot take a few steps back herself. Molly laughed and Ms. Cunningham rolled her eyes.

"Just something about you Magica seems to bring out the worst in people. Dot, don't do that dear, people might get the idea you're just as classless as Magica is."

_Wow. As Wakko would say, Ms. Cunningham is faboo._

She made a mental note not to upset Ms. Cunningham; she appeared to have the ability to be ruthless once crossed.

"Just because you play a witch on TV doesn't mean you need to be one off it too," Lisa added.

"I am witch? You are escorting around a villain and you imply-"

"We don't imply anything," Ms. Cunningham said. "I'm stating it. You really shouldn't go bandying around the terms 'thief' and 'villain', or don't you think I know why you were banished from the set? Remember, gossip travels quickly. Disney pays well my dear, and is usually very generous. You really didn't need to go riffling through the belongings of the nephews."

"I'm no thief! Was setup!"

"Yes yes, I know. Panic Pen is full of innocent people. You're lucky Disney and the triplets were happy with restitution and didn't press charges."

"Would be in Panic with girl's father! Girl and brothers will be there soon, perhaps we would share cell!"

Dot heard the words, and for half a second didn't respond. She couldn't deny it, her father was in Panic, that part of the article was fully correct, probably one of the only parts of the article that was one-hundred percent truthful. But still, it was tacky to point that out.

She didn't have a witty comeback, and really wished Yakko was there right now. He would have been able to come up with something clever. Wakko would have Fritzed a pie or tried to knock her senseless with his mallet. Well, no he wouldn't. Yakko had taught him better; he wouldn't hit a girl, not with his mallet. He still probably would have pied her though.

Dot couldn't Fritz a pie, and she didn't have a mallet. She did however have a strong set of legs. So she did the only thing she could think of…She went forward as much as Lisa's grip would allow and kicked Magica right in her shin.

"Dot!" Lisa admonished, pulling her several steps back again while Magica spat out several presumably filthy words in Hungarian and hopped up and down.

"Nice shot Dot!" Molly cheered. "Do it again! Harder!"

"Molly hush!" Ms. Cunningham said. "Well Magica, while I don't condone what she did, Molly's right, Dot does have good aim." Calmly stepping around Magica and still leading Molly, she added, "I think it's lovely that you've set aside this time to verbally spar with a five-year-old. It is a shame that you lost. Now, we have a birthday to shop for. Molly, Dot, let's go."

Molly craned her head back to add, "I've had bruises before and if you put ice on it sometimes it helps and Mommy will kiss it and make it better and then-"

"Molly…just…just hush," Ms. Cunningham sighed, leading her down the sidewalk.

Dot hoped that Lisa and Ms. Cunningham weren't too mad. Sure, what she did wasn't nice, but she did warn Lisa that she would kick anyone that said anything nasty about her brothers or her.

Once again walking down the sidewalk, Lisa looked down at her and said, "Dot, don't kick people like that. You're a nice girl, don't let people like that drag you down in the gutter with them."

"I agree," Ms. Cunningham added. "You'll run into them occasionally. The best thing to do is try to nicely exit the area." Trying her best to smother a giggle, she added, "Though I do have to say, it was a nice kick. I'm almost sorry I'm the adult; I've wanted to do that to her for years."

"Yeah, she's really mean!" Molly exclaimed excitedly. "She's always mean! Kit said she's a bigger bitch off camera than on!"

"Molly Cunningham! Don't you ever say that again!"

"No matter how true it is," Lisa muttered.

"Lisa, don't encourage this! I'll be talking to Kit when I get home-"

"Get his thoughts on Louie while you're at it," Lisa said. "Last time I met him he tried to grab my-"

"Lisa! You're supposed to be a positive influence on little Dottie there!"

"I was going to say drink Rebecca."

"Sure you were."

"Dot," Dot muttered wearily. "Just Dot please."

She hated 'Dottie'. She had always hated Dottie.

She had some vague memories of being called Dottie by people she didn't like. Strangers. She sort of remembered the home; not clearly like Yakko, or even mostly like Wakko, who had told her his memory was spotty on it. Then again, Wakko's memory could be spotty on what he had for lunch yesterday so she wasn't surprised.

But she remembered being scared and feeling very cold and alone, screaming for Yakko and he wouldn't come. Or couldn't probably, since he said they took her away for awhile. His assault charges all stemmed from him trying to get her back and get all of them out of the home and safe on the streets if such a thing was possible. She wished she was older like Wakko and could remember some of this stuff; she bet Yakko had been great.

She hoped Yakko wouldn't be too mad that she kicked the angry duck…she didn't care if he was. Well, she did care if he was mad, she didn't like to make him upset, but the duck did deserve it. She was horrible. Other than Webbigail, it seemed that all the Disney ducks she had met were nasty rude toons.

Pushing the duck from her memory, she began talking to Molly about what she'd like to do for Yakko's birthday.

She had wanted to do something off the lot and have a huge celebration for him. After giving it several more minutes of thought, she decided that maybe Wakko was right. With all the nonsense that had happened in the last few days, and who could say what would come up next? Perhaps a smaller party might be better, at least this year. A few friends, she knew Yakko idolized Bugs, maybe she could invite him. And Slappy; he really liked her…

She'd have to think about it more. In the meantime, she still had to find a present for him.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 7, 1993

"_I received my wallet back after losing it almost a year ago while doing some shopping. When I got back to ToonTown and discovered it was missing, I didn't know if it was stolen or lost. With it was a nice little note written in a large messy scrawl, like a child learning to write cursive, apologizing for stealing it and explaining their circumstances. It wasn't signed, so I have no idea if it was from the accused, but I'd like to think it was, and I'd like to say thank you to them.  
-Submitted by Sandy Hutchinson_

"_When I got my wallet back after having it go missing I couldn't believe it. I have to assume it's from those kids. I'm still mad they stole it, it took forever to call the credit places to cancel the cards and get new ones issued, but I suppose I should say thank you. They even replaced the cash in there, all seventy-two dollars and sent a note explaining what they did."  
-Submitted by Earnest Nelson_

Yakko, a delighted smile on his face, turned the page and continued reading, taking a sip of his juice as he did so. And Wakko thought writing those notes was a waste of time; he was convinced that no one even read the letters. He couldn't wait until his sibling woke up - he could show him that the notes were read and appreciated. There were several more letters written in to 'The Animator' about them - or what was presumed to be them. Most were complimentary, one wasn't, but Yakko knew you couldn't please everyone.

It had been a hard week, full of accusations, interviews, and suspicious looks, their entire past dragged out into the public viewing. He was still angry that it had come out, but he supposed it was better for it to get out now early in their career; best to get it over with. Just most times he didn't like being reminded of it.

While the week had some rough spots, it had also been full of encouragement and support from friends. He actually hadn't realized how many people they knew that could be included in the 'friends' category until this whole scandal had hit.

But now, a week out from that disastrous and potentially career ending article, it was nice to sit quietly in the kitchen and read something positive. Glancing at the clock he saw it was only six-eighteen; still way too early for Wakko and Dot to be getting up. But soon, probably Dot within the next thirty minutes and Wakko within an hour. He might as well enjoy the quiet time while he could.

Flipping to another page he skimmed the main article, this time about them. He had been terrified when Bugs had said he arranged an interview with him and Carl Woodward, head reporter for 'the Animator' and a good friend of his. Mr. Woodward was delighted to help and Yakko had to admit, the man had done a thorough job, filling in the missing facts from the tabloid's article and talking to many people who knew them both before their time at the lot and after.

But it made sense. 'Tasty Toon Gossip' dealt in rumors and used a slight bit of truth, twisted bitterly to make a more exciting story. 'The Animator' dealt in facts, checking and rechecking anything they could. 'The Animator' would also print a retraction on the rare occasions it discovered they reported fiction as fact; 'Tasty Toon Gossip' would never reprint a retraction no matter how false or misleading their information was.

He stopped at certain sections of the article to reread favorite passages or quotes. He would be rereading it again when both his siblings were awake, since they would both be interested in seeing how their first printed interview came out. They would also be interested in what their various friends had to say. For not really knowing any of the younger children long, most of them had pulled together in some way, granting requests for short interviews to the reporter or sending in letters or statements to be printed.

_My interview with Porky Pig was pleasant, taking place in his meticulous office as he served me Earl Grey Tea and scones. _

"_I know all three of them w-w-well. Dot's a-a-absolutely adorable, one of the best students I've ever had, always does her work and quick to catch on," Porky said._

"_It's a pleasure to teach her and it k-k-kills me that anyone would say anything n-n-nasty about her or her f-f-family."_

_Porky continued to say the youngest Warner was polite and charming and he's never seen any indication that her oldest brother was anything but an excellent role model for both his younger siblings. He also added that anything done prior to his first meeting them, while not all of it was legitimate, was all done for legitimate reasons, and he can't judge them for that. _

"_The boy, I say the boy - runs wild through the lot like a bad bean burrito, but a good kid; clever like, lots of energy. I don't cotton to all these rumors and hype about my student - you listening to me boy?" Foghorn Leghorn brusquely asks. I quickly nod my head before Mr. Leghorn tries to tap me on the head to obtain my attention again. "Good, make sure you get all this down son, I don't I say I don't want anyone messing with this kid; been through enough I say. Anyways, like I was saying…"_

_At this point Foghorn continued to speak highly of his student, the middle brother Wakko, and holds a great deal of respect for the oldest brother Yakko. 'The Animator' is unable to print his entire interview due to space constraints. Suffice to say, Mr. Leghorn is not only impressed with his student, he is somewhat protective of him._

_However, a large portion of my time was spent talking with Bugs Bunny and his student, the oldest brother Yakko. A great deal of venom has been spewed against this amazing young man in the last week by a certain over-the-top junk food news tabloid. It is this reporter's sincerest wish that all readers who have watched and enjoyed the Trio's show 'Animaniacs', along with everyone who read the overly aggressive and unusually mean spirited article in the trash talking tabloid last week will be given enough correct facts to make an intelligent decision regarding these children._

"_Yakko's probably my most mature student," Bugs said while crunching on his customary carrot, Yakko sitting on his desk beside him. "Given his age and past upbringing - or lack of it - says a lot about him. He's managed to take care of two siblings a good deal younger than him without any adult support. They both look to him for guidance and support, and he makes sure they are safe and cared for at all times. While his methods weren't exactly legal, he did what he could in his situation and is going about correcting past mistakes now that he has the ability to do so. One of the many reasons I grabbed him as a student, doc. And I don't just consider him a student; I consider him a friend."_

"_I'm not proud of everything I did. I certainly didn't like being a pickpocket. I really didn't like one of my siblings joining me in that line of work. I didn't like having to try to raise them in the street, always worrying about one of them getting hurt or sick or lost. I'm not, however, sorry I kept my family together. I'm sorry that I had to do some unsavory things, but that was the most important thing for me; my family."_

_When asked about his remaining parent, Slacko De-Beck Warner, currently in Panic Penitentiary paying his debt to society, Yakko was frank and honest, the smile customarily on his face absent as he explained that while his father may have started them on the path to life in less than ethical means, he harbored no ill will toward him-  
story continued on page 16_

Yakko turned the page to continue reading what he had said. Thankfully Bugs had sat down with him before this interview Wednesday to go over with him exactly how he should say certain things; not lying, but phrasing things in a more palatable way.

Some of it sounded a bit staged; Yakko could care less if his father rotted in the penitentiary while 'paying his debt to society', but Bugs said while that may be true, it wouldn't help their image any. After the rabbit pointed out that if their father hadn't gotten hauled away, they would never have been able to get to the lot, Yakko had agreed to rethink his current attitude regarding him. They'd still be stuck in that hole of an apartment in Plympton, or worse, in the home separated.

After thinking about it that way, it was easy to say he harbored no ill will toward him. Honestly, deep down, he didn't. When he thought about his father it was mostly like he was reviewing it from an outsider's point of view; no feeling at all. He actually felt somewhat bad because he didn't feel more bad about it.

Even Yosemite Sam got involved, saying that he wasn't sure what Darkwing's beef was. Sam said he got his wallet back with all its original contents and that's what mattered to him. He also knew the Warners and liked the three children, and couldn't believe some costumed clown was harassing them. The reporter also noted that Sam was yelling and waving his six-shooter around over his head during the interview.

The next few pages were ads, including one for a new roller skating rink opening at _The Harnell_, that huge mall Wakko always went to with his friends and for a large function in October, 'A Night of Boos'. He added that to his mental calendar; that might be fun. Wakko and Dot would no doubt enjoy it; they both loved Halloween.

He flipped a few more pages until he saw another section. Many of their friends had either written to 'The Animator', or given short statements wanting to get their thoughts in. Babs, Plucky and Calamity all had written in concise, well thought out paragraphs showing their support of Wakko and their respect for Yakko despite anything in their pasts that should not have been brought out in a cheap tabloid.

Elmyra wrote a very short and sweet letter saying that she liked Wakko the little fuzzy-head and he was a good dancer. Yakko smirked; Wakko would love that.

Max had been talked to on the lot when he had been there refilming a scene. He gave a well spoken statement in which he stated that he refused to acknowledge anything in 'Tasty Toon Gossip' as fact. He was personal friends with the Warners and since he got the real facts directly from their mouths, he had hoped that in the future all papers would print the full facts instead of running roughshod over the truth.

Yakko raised his eyebrows, impressed. Out of all of Wakko's friends, he figured Max would have given a profanity laced tirade. Instead, he came out sounding intelligent. Good for him.

"Knew I liked them for some reason," Yakko muttered, reading Buster's very short but respectful interview. The rabbit and his father had gone to find the reporter when he had been on the lot, wanting to give quick statements. Mr. Bunny had spoken highly of him as well, and expressing his wish that this would be put behind them soon so the Warners could get back to what they needed to be doing; being funny.

Slappy had consented to an interview, something he knew the old squirrel tended not to like being a big fan of her privacy. But she talked well of him, his respect and politeness and ability to talk his way out of anything and take a joke, something she could respect. Skippy was present at the interview, interjecting a few sentences about how much fun Dot was and how much he liked Yakko.

Webby had written in to the paper in a show of support for Dot, stating her ability to make them laugh and her large giving heart, something she would not have had, had she not had love and support at home.

Yakko breathed a sigh of relief. As he and Wakko had both been given a large show of support from friends, he was worried if the younger children would even think to do that. It would definitely make Dot feel better. At the bottom was a chatty statement written in by Molly, all her enthusiasm and energy that she displayed in almost everything she did shining through.

Even Kit had written in a short smart-assed comment, stating that he hoped that all toons associated with Disney would not be tarred with the same rumor starting brush because of certain individuals.

Well, if nothing else, they had lots more friends than Yakko had thought. And almost all of the statements given were from established stars, many of them like Bugs and Porky, well respected. This could only help them. But it showed that they were also important to quite a few people. It not only made him feel better, but it should lift his siblings' spirits as well.

He flipped further back in the paper to read Darkwing's recantation in which he said that many things he purportedly said were either taken out of context or downright lies. Yakko didn't know about the taken out of context part, but some were downright lies.

Darkwing railed in the interview about the reporter for 'TTG' besmirching his good name, falsely telling him that the article he was being interviewed for was about his new position as security chief for Disney's Animated section and that he did not witness Wakko stealing anything, it was his excellent detective skills that brought him to that conclusion.

While he did not apologize for the trouble he started by running his big mouth, he did state he believed that the Warners, while still criminals in his eyes, may not be as bad as the former article stated. As young as they were, they could still be rehabilitated despite their former occupation.

Yakko rolled his eyes; the stupid duck couldn't admit he made a mistake or opened his big mouth about things he knew nothing about. Hell, Wakko and Dot were a quarter of his age probably and displayed greater maturity levels than he did. At least they had both displayed the ability to actually apologize when they screwed up or were just wrong.

"Happy Birthday."

Surprised at the quiet voice coming from behind him, Yakko ended up inhaling half his orange juice. Choking, he turned to see Dot standing in the doorway watching him, holding something thin in her hand.

"Thanks," he croaked out.

He hoped Dot wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. He had never really celebrated his birthday before, he wasn't sure he wanted to start now. However, this birthday was sort of special; it was his first 'teen' birthday. It would now also be exactly five years until he turned eighteen.

Dot came toward him, her feet not making a sound as she padded across the checkered floor. She stood beside his chair and looked at him; she appeared to be waiting for something. He looked back at her, confused, until he realized that she was waiting for him to move his arm. Quickly doing so, she hoisted herself into his lap.

"I got you something," she said, waving what was now revealed to be a small package in his face. "It's two things though - it took me all week and two times going off the lot! I even had to talk to Slappy because she's old and could remember it. One of them."

Yakko blinked at her wondering what the hell she was talking about. He had some vague horrid feeling that Molly's rambling tendencies had rubbed off on Dot and he was now going to be subject to fits of insanity from her.

"Open it now!" she demanded.

Startled by her excited demand he quickly took the package from her hand, fumbling with the wrapping paper printed with grey fuzzy kittens wearing pink ribbons and party hats. Finally getting the paper off he saw that it contained a book 'All Quiet on the Western Front'. Something else was shoved further down in the purple tissue paper and he dug through it, finally pulling it out.

It was a picture of them, the three of them, taken right before they had left to go to the function. He grinned - Slappy had actually taken the picture on her own camera, making the three of them pose at the base of the tower. He and Dot had posed willingly for the photo; Wakko had been bribed with a few pieces of sugar-free candy. She had originally threatened to tie his ears in knots but found she didn't get far with that threat - he had started doing it himself.

He had forgotten about the photograph being taken with everything that had happened. In fact he had been annoyed with himself when they had gotten back to the tower for forgetting to have someone take a picture of all three of them. He had gotten tons of pictures of Dot and a few of Wakko who was still trying to steal the pictures of him dancing with Elmyra back from him.

This picture was by far the best. The three of them looked happy and relaxed; Dot standing to his left looked radiant in her corset dress. Wakko looked happy - no doubt because his mouth was full of candy - standing to his right. He was in the middle, his arms around each siblings' shoulder. He'd have to thank Slappy for sharing a copy with him.

"Slappy said the book was about the First World War and I know you like history. I know you talk to her and Bugs about stuff they dealt with during World War Two, and I don't know…I though maybe you'd want to read about the first one." Kneeling up in his lap so she could look in his face she anxiously asked, "Do you like it? I can take it back if you want-"

Quickly hugging her he said, "No! Don't! They're perfect; both of them. I'll start reading the book in awhile. And the picture; I'll have to find the perfect spot to put it-"

"I'll help! Maybe in your bedroom! Or on top of the television!"

He thought for a second; maybe in the bedroom. Dot had pictures and such up in her bedroom, posters mostly of horses and kittens, a few pictures of her with one or both of her brothers, and a few more pictures of her and Molly. But his and Wakko's bedroom was surprisingly bare.

Wakko had a poster up of a Lamborghini on their closet door. Yakko had a poster up of Catwoman crouching on a rooftop across from their beds and that was it. This picture would be a welcome addition to their extremely small decorating scheme. It wasn't a big picture, but if he didn't hang it on the wall it would look nice on the dresser.

"I'm thinking the bedroom. Come on, while we wait for Wakko to decide to grace us with his presence I'll cook you pancakes OK?"

He'd become quite a chef lately. With Wakko's diabetes in mind, he'd found that most of the box mixes on the shelf were too high in sugar or sodium for him to really safely eat. If he did eat them, they had to sit down, refigure his calorie and sugar intake and adjust it accordingly. It wasn't fun, he had to do it but it gave him a huge headache.

When Wakko had whined about it to the diabetic counselor, the first time he had really whined about anything he couldn't eat, they had handed Yakko several recipes for different foods, not just pancakes. They had to be made from scratch and was a bit time consuming but he preferred doing that. Surprisingly the whole-wheat blueberry pancakes were a big hit - diabetic friendly or not, they were tasty. Dot had liked them better than Wakko did. What really delighted her was that the blueberries she constantly crammed in her mouth while cooking them turned her tongue blue.

"It's your birthday so I'll cook!"

Hearing that and having visions of a batter drenched five year old in his mind, he shook his head. He had slowly been teaching her to cook since she was interested in it. Nothing hard or involving the oven or knives, but simple things like measuring. And it helped with her Math - not her strongest subject.

"Ehhhh - we'll cook together." Standing with her in his arms he headed to the counter. "You can help me measure out the ingredients, OK?"

"OK. And I got another surprise for you!"

_She's gone overboard hasn't she? Hopefully it's something simple like a cake._

"Really? What's that sib?"

She shook her head rapidly, her ears smacking him in the face. "I can't tell you. It's for later. But you won't have to cook anything!"

_Must be planning on making bologna sandwiches for dinner._

"It's gonna be fun! I did some of it, and Wakko helped." After a minute she added, "Other people did too."

_That's nice. With Wakko helping it probably means it's going to involve explosives or something for me to clean up._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Yakko mostly refrained from cringing back as the final strands of 'Happy Birthday' were bellowed at him, Wakko, Molly, Buster and Dot practically screaming it in his face. Beside him Kit was smirking at his discomfort, hand propping up his chin with a look on his face that clearly said he'd been through it before too and he may as well just accept it.

Behind him Slappy and Foghorn were attempting to conduct and Porky happily stuttered the song, four beats behind everyone else.

He hadn't wanted a party. He really hadn't wanted half the people he knew in the tower, sitting in his kitchen. Hell, he really hadn't even wanted a cake. A quiet day at the tower would have been sufficient.

Instead, at seven minutes to four, Slappy and Skippy had banged into the tower. Behind them, Mr. Bunny followed more sedately. The tall rabbit looked behind him, sighed, then began yelling for his son to hurry up and stopping spitting off the top of the tower at people.

Slappy had brusquely come to him, wished him a happy birthday and slapped a yellow birthday hat complete with hot pink streamers trailing out of the top on his head. When he had tried to take it off she had slapped at his fingers with her cane and told him he had to leave it on; Dot had specifically picked it out just for him.

Looking up at the ghastly thing he had to wonder what wrong he had done to his sibling for her to force the hat on him.

He had told her that if Dot picked the silly thing out she could wear it, but Slappy had pointed behind him. Dot was happily grinning at him from the kitchen, hands clasped in glee under her chin as she watched the proceedings. Seeing the delighted look on her face he knew he wouldn't be able to take it off for awhile.

To top off the indignity of wearing the damned thing, Slappy had then pulled the band under his chin so that it snapped back on him.

Wakko had come charging out of the bedroom, yelling 'Happy Birthday' for the seventeenth time that day. He had then stood next to Buster and laughed at his birthday hat.

Another minute passed before there was a loud knocking at the door. As Wakko opened it, Foghorn came barreling in loudly, holding a birthday cake with toy cars decorating it. Yakko hadn't needed to ask; Wakko had obviously had a hand in picking out that cake.

Dot announced that she had orchestrated the whole thing on his behalf since he had never had a party before and they were waiting for several more guests to arrive. Yakko quickly looked around the living room; the house wasn't a total mess but he was going to need to talk to her and tell her that if she planned on inviting a multitude of people to their house, surprise or not she should tell him so he could make sure the house looked halfway livable.

Thankfully there wasn't clothes and toys and video games strewed around the house. He and Wakko had done the dishes earlier. He didn't have to panic too much. After being accused of being a horrid role model and guardian, he didn't want to give anyone any ammunition even if he was among friends.

He looked at the people already there. Slappy was sitting on the couch with Mr. Bunny, discussing some development on the show. Dot and Skippy were talking in the kitchen about cake recipes and Foghorn was entertaining Wakko and Buster with an almost inappropriate story involving Olive Oil and her ongoing battle with anorexia and how certain parts of her anatomy 'didn't balloon out like they oughta'.

He would certainly consider them all friends; every single one of them had been incredibly supportive to both him and his siblings during this last week. Several others as well; he wondered who else they were waiting on. Probably Bugs; the rabbit had offered the most support during the crisis.

Another knock at the door came, revealing the entire clan of Cunninghams, Ms. Cunningham looking her usual charming self and Molly bouncing in like she had springs strapped to her. Kit brought up the rear, barely looking at him because he was too busy looking around the tower. Not surprising, he had been interested before in it.

As Ms. Cunningham patted his cheek and wished him a happy birthday, Yakko hoped many more people wouldn't be showing up; the tower was roomy enough but it was starting to get crowded.

A final knock sounded at the door, revealing Porky with enough pizza to sustain the Ninja Turtles for a month. Well, Dot did say he wouldn't have to cook. And pizza was preferable to bologna sandwiches.

Apparently Porky was the last guest to arrive because Dot started issuing orders like a five-year-old general shortly after he spoke to her. And she had planned everything out, including who would sit where at the kitchen table and which person got which plate. He watched in half contained amusement; everyone seemed content to let her tell them what to do with the exception of Slappy, who simply raised an eyebrow at her.

Dot noticed the look and went back to bullying Wakko and Buster. Molly, not wanting to be left out of the fun joined in the bullying, finally prompting both of them to flee the room with their food. Yakko saw that Wakko took two slices of pizza and made a mental note to check him in a while. He was probably worrying to much, but still, better safe than sorry.

But he had to hand it to his siblings, they both had managed to pull a party off for him despite his objections. Dot had apparently gotten inspired after talking to Wakko and decided to throw him one whether he really wanted it or not. And it wasn't bad; she had kept it small. He was still slightly annoyed; he was the only one who had been bullied into wearing a party hat.

Getting help from Slappy and Porky she had managed to get everyone interested, send out invitations, have Slappy help her find the most annoying birthday hat available and preorder the pizzas.

She had put Wakko in charge of getting the cake with Foghorn's help and making sure the dishes were done and the tower was halfway clean. Which was the only logical explanation why Wakko had actually volunteered to help do the dishes earlier.

When everyone had finished eating, Foghorn and Ms. Cunningham had begun dealing with the cake, placing the candles between the toy cars. With the thirteen candles it looked like the very tragic ending to a NASCAR race but he chose not to say anything. Wakko had probably worked hard deciding which cake to get.

Yakko watched them as the others began pulling presents out of their hammerspaces. Then everyone had to sing Happy Birthday. Then he had to blow out the candles. And he still wasn't able to sneak the hat off his head.

The presents were all good choices, he couldn't fault anyone on that. The Cunninghams had got him a gift certificate to a music store, with Kit informing him quietly that this place had a good selection of music and an even better selection of hot and flirtatious girls working there. The Bunny's had gotten him a video game 'The Chaos Engine'. Porky had gotten him 'The Encyclopedia of Old Time Comedians', stating that he knew Yakko was interested in most of the old ones and he figured this book would be educational and fun.

Slappy and Skippy had gotten him a book on World War II since he was so interested in it. Wakko, knowing how much Yakko liked the album 'Ten', had found a book of the sheet music for it. Now he'd have something really interesting to play. And his guitar tutor probably wouldn't object - Scot was a big fan of Eddie Vedder too. Flipping quickly through the book, he found most of the songs, while intricate, were not overly so and with some practice he would no doubt be able to play them.

Foghorn had got him movie tickets, quietly nudging him and telling him he knew Yakko would probably prefer a girl for his birthday but he couldn't help him with that. But if he ever needed a chaperone for 'that type of trip off lot' Foghorn said he'd be more than happy to chaperone that trip. And, he added, would definitely stay far enough away so it didn't seem like a chaperone was hanging over him.

Yakko almost hugged the big chicken. That had occasionally crossed his mind, if and when he ever met a girl that wasn't a total whack-job that he wanted to go out with somewhere; not only where to take her, but the whole chaperone issue. He knew most of them would willingly go anywhere, though some he would probably prefer not to take.

The thought of Dr. Scratchansniff chaperoning a date made his skin crawl. He could only imagine TP chaperoning one - screaming at him constantly over dinner about the studio's image and ratings.

Slappy or Bugs would probably try to stay in the background but would no doubt be keeping an eye on things to make sure it didn't go 'too far'. Not really conductive to getting to first base with a girl, let alone any further. Not that it was the only thing on his mind, but it needed to be taken into consideration.

Mr. Bunny might be OK - he was so used to chasing around the younger boys that he would no doubt be happy to have a calm night chaperoning an older, mature teenager. But that would be hard for him to arrange; he still had a nine-year-old at home to worry about.

Foghorn would probably be perfect. He'd stay close enough that the studio couldn't say he was being derelict in his duties and TIS couldn't grab him for being an un-chaperoned kid. Plus Foghorn would be discreet. He would definitely keep the rooster in mind.

It had been a nice party. While it was unusual for his first official birthday party to be on his thirteenth birthday, he couldn't have asked for a better one. Everyone had seemed to have a good time. The only thing that marred the entire day was that Bugs hadn't even called.

Yakko hadn't expected him to show up; he hadn't expected anyone to show up actually, but he honestly thought the rabbit would have acknowledged him with a phone call. Even Wakko's hellion friends had called and said happy birthday, and he wasn't half as close to them as he was to Bugs. He wasn't crushed, but he was a bit hurt. Maybe Bugs didn't know; he had never told the rabbit his birthday. Perhaps Wakko and Dot had simply not had an opportunity to find the rabbit and invite him or forgot to.

Accepting a hug from Ms. Cunningham and Molly and a handshake from Kit, he watched as Kit rapidly climbed down the ladder, Ms. Cunningham going down much more slowly, asking Kit to slow down and keeping worried eyes on Molly.

Skippy gave a final hug to Dot and stuck his tongue out at Buster, who inconspicuously gave him the finger. With a nasty look at him, Skippy followed Molly down, Slappy, Buster and Mr. Bunny being the last to descend.

Foghorn and Porky, already on the ground in the event of a fall by any one of them, waited until everyone was safely down. With a final wave up to Yakko the entire group began to disperse and head to the parking lot.

Returning their waves he went back inside to see Wakko and Dot quietly watching something on TV. Going over to the couch he sat between them.

"Thanks guys."

"No problem Yakko," Dot said, crawling in his lap. "You deserved one."

"Yeah," Wakko agreed, snuggling in beside him. "Even though Bugs decided not to show."

_So they did tell him._

Slightly hurt, Yakko shrugged. "Bugs is probably busy; he's got a lot going on. Give him a break. I'm gonna go look at the music you gave me and start reading your book Dot."

Moving her off his lap he started heading back toward the bedroom where his guitar was. Luckily his homework was already done. He could afford to goof off for the night and tomorrow as well for awhile before having to settle down to review his lines again.

Entering the bedroom and tripping over Wakko's abandoned jacket in the middle of the floor, he grabbed his guitar case from under the bed. Opening the black case he gently pulled the instrument off the crushed crimson velvet. A Fender DG-8 steel-string acoustic, it had come highly recommended at the music store the day he purchased it, and had proven to be a more than adequate instrument. Scot had confirmed the day Yakko showed up for his first lesson that it was a solid guitar, one that he would be able to learn and grow into, with exceptional tone and playability.

Much like Wakko with his violin, Yakko adored his guitar and practiced daily. He gently ran his hand over the solid spruce top before he sat down on the chest at the end of the bed and pulled the music book out of his hammerspace.

Flipping to the music for 'Alive', his favorite song by the band he looked over the notes. Shrugging, he began to pluck at the strings, starting with the G cord.

"Yakko!"

_Oh man can't they not fight one day?_

"Yakko come on!"

_Jeeze…_

Grumbling, Yakko put the guitar on the bed and made his way to the living room, wondering what they had gotten into now.

They weren't fighting, which was a nice surprise. An even better surprise was a very late but none the less welcome party guest. Bugs had apparently decided to stop by after all. He was currently under siege though; Wakko was trying to peek in the green bag Bugs was holding while Dot was hugging the rabbit around his waist on his left, asking him why he was so late; the party ended awhile ago.

"Sorry Dot, I know it was a great party; Foghorn told me all about it. I had to get Yakko's present though and that took a while longer than I thought." Looking up and catching sight of Yakko, the rabbit waved and said, "Happy birthday doc."

"Thanks." Returning the rabbit's smirk, Yakko added, "You missed the cake."

"I'll take a piece to go. Sorry to miss the party…I got tied up with a few things, thought I'd be done by the time the party started and I wasn't."

"It's OK Bugs, really-"

"I figured it'd be OK to stop by now; I still had to bring you your presents-"

"You didn't need to bring a present Bugs. You didn't need to come by-"

_Though I'm still glad you did._

"-I know it's late and-"

"Hush Yakko. It's your birthday, you get presents." Handing Yakko the bag, he added, "Here ya go. How about that piece of cake?"

Wakko ran into the kitchen, Dot dragging the rabbit and begging him to stay and eat cake with them. Yakko followed behind, digging in the bag. He pulled out two items, a card and a package wrapped in shiny blue paper.

"Let me have the knife Dot, I'll just cut a small piece," Bugs said, taking it from Dot before she cut herself while Wakko climbed up on the counter to reach the plates. Keeping an eye on them,

Yakko sat in the chair beside Bugs and began gently taking the paper off the package.

Another book. Yakko almost laughed; either they knew him very well or they thought he was a real nerd. But Bugs had picked a good book out for him; "The Encyclopedia of True Toon Greats". Looking at the back cover, he had to admit it looked like an interesting read.

While the book had several pages on the usual toon greats like Bugs and Mickey and Snow White, the book focused on toons from other jobs and talents; writers, directors, tutors, inventors, business owners.

"Thanks Bugs!"

_Nice to see toons not directly involved in Hollywood getting some recognition._

"No problem Yakko; thought you'd like it." Forking the last bit of cake in his mouth the rabbit stood. "Thanks for the slice docs. I've got to go; it's getting late and I imagine you three are getting tired."

Catching the look Bugs threw at him, Yakko picked up the hint. Bugs wanted to talk to him alone.

Hoping neither would argue with him, Yakko said, "Guys, I'm gonna walk Bugs out, go finish watching TV or whatever you were doing OK?"

Bidding a very loud good-bye to Bugs, they both raced back to the couch, Dot stopping momentarily to give Bugs another squeeze around his waist before jumping up next to Wakko.

Yakko followed Bugs out onto the landing of the tower, wondering what Bugs needed to talk to him about. Maybe it was something about an upcoming assignment or script.

"I'm guessing you got 'The Animator' this morning?"

Nodding, Yakko answered, "Yeah; it was perfect like I knew it'd be. Look, thanks…for everything. I wouldn't have been able to fix this; I wouldn't have had any-"

"You would have done fine Yakko. You got more potential than you could even imagine. It might have taken you a few weeks longer, but that's due more to age than ability. Look, there's a second present I got for ya, and it's part of the reason I'm late."

Reaching behind to his hammerspace, Bugs pulled out a long white envelope and handed it to him. Confused, Yakko looked at him.

"Read that."

"What is it?" Smirking he asked, "It's not your resignation as my tutor is it? Did I finally drive you crazy?"

"If I ever dump you as a student doc, it'll be a lot rougher than a letter. You haven't seen me really get to work with my mallet. It's a fan letter, an important one. After I talked to her, I was worried it might get lost in the wave of fan mail that comes to the studio; according to her, she thinks one may have already been. And after you read it, I need to talk to you."

Yakko, confused, simply nodded. A fan letter was a bit of an odd present, but he'd roll with it. He wondered if it was from one of Bugs' nieces. He mentioned that he had a few of them - nephews too - but Yakko had thought they were a lot older. Maybe it was from one of their kids. Not that it mattered; as much help as Bugs had been, Yakko would eat the letter if the rabbit asked him to.

He slid his finger under the flap, tearing the envelope open. Pulling out a pink piece of paper, he began to read, feeling a sense of excitement come over him as he began to scan the large flowing writing occasionally broken up in jagged squiggles. This was no ordinary fan letter.

_Yakko -_

_I told you I knew you had it in you, not that you ever listened to me. I just knew once you got free of your entire situation with your father and the home you'd go far. _

_And look at you now; living in a tower, on the brink of stardom, getting tutored by one of the smartest stars out there. You're certainly far removed from the skinny kid I paid to dress like a goose. And I know you're finally getting the education you wanted; it's got to be more fulfilling than having me shove you lessons before you vacuumed the floor._

_Wakko and Dot look great, you've done an amazing job, not only better than your own parents, but better than many parents I've met over the years. And reading in the papers I see that you've met one of my other young apprentices from long ago; tell Kit I said hi._

_I've been trying to follow you since I saw the first press release on 'New Toon Review' about the new show, cheering from the moment I saw your face on the screen. I've also read everything that has come out lately about your prior situation. Don't let that get you back started throwing pity parties for yourself; _

_Bugs said you don't do it now, so don't start it again. Like much of Hollywood rumor, it will pass and be forgotten in a few weeks as some new schmuck gets thrown in the spotlight because he got spotted running a red light or eating a hamburger in the wrong establishment._

_Below I've put my address if you ever want to write to your old tutor and reminisce about old times. If not, I won't hold it against you for failing to respond to an old lady that adored you…_

_Either way, congratulations. I knew I made the right decision, firing those two imbeciles I had helping me and hiring you._

Yakko quickly read the letter, then read it again more slowly, hardly believing what he was holding in his hands.

Goose…he had barely thought about her lately…every now and then of course, like when he ever grabbed his mallet or Fritzed a pie. He had wondered if she watched the show, or thought about him, or any of her former assistants. She had so many assistants, helped so many kids…well, at least he knew she wanted to talk to him.

Before he realized what he was doing he almost knocked Bugs over the railing in his rush to hug him. Feeling Bugs hands come down on his shoulders he pulled back, trying to compose himself. He was thirteen, a teenager - he just shouldn't be going around assaulting people with hugs. That was Dot's racket.

Returning his hug Bugs said, "Glad you like it doc-"

"Best present I ever got!" Breaking away from Bugs and thinking about that he added, "Don't tell Wakko or Dot-"

"It'll be our secret. And you're welcome." Cutting his eyes toward Yakko, he added, "She said she wrote a letter before, but you-"

"I never got it," Yakko said quietly. "I'd never ignore one from her."

Bugs nodded slowly. "If you want, maybe sometime over the weekend, I'll drive you to see her. If you want; she's not trying to force you or anything and I do need to talk to you about-"

_Is he kidding?_

"Definitely!"

_Calm down Yakko, he'll think you're an idiot._

Clearing his throat he said somewhat more calmly, "I'd love to see her again." Running his hand through his hair, he added, "God, I have so much to thank her for; so much to tell her." Gazing out toward the lot he continued. "And my sibs; Wakko has a few memories of her, I'd like Dot to meet her, again, when she could actually remember her. If it wasn't for her, we'd probably be split apart. We'd never-"

"You would have. A kid like you don't stay down for long. And let me tell ya, Goose doesn't waste time with lost causes or kids that don't have lots of potential."

Yakko nodded. She had said that several times. Come to think of it she said lots of things several times whether Yakko wanted to hear it or not. She was usually right too.

"But, I've heard you mention her a time or ten, thought you'd like to hear from her. I know she was delighted to get fresh news of you that wasn't from the TV or newspapers."

"Especially from the papers," Yakko muttered.

"And like a few others - especially toons that know you three - she didn't give the story much credit either. I think, for the most part, the story was hurtful and slightly embarrassing maybe, but that's about it. Darkwing made himself look far worse than you three, though the mook didn't seem to realize it at the time. He still sounded like an egotistical moron in that second interview even though Disney probably gave him more coaching than a little league team so he could try to salvage some bit of credibility. Not to mention, you three conducted yourselves very well. Couldn't have done it better myself doc - I'm proud of ya."

Yakko felt a self-satisfied smile tug at the corners of his mouth. They had done pretty well given the enormity of the situation, even thought it turned out not to be quite as horrible as he had originally feared.

"How about Saturday?"

Yakko looked at him. "Saturday?"

_She's at all the libraries on Saturdays…_

"What about Wakko and Dot? I can't leave them here alone - can they come?"

He wondered quickly if Dot would want to come. She would have no memory of Goose, but he had told Dot about her. Wakko would probably have very vague memories of her, nothing concrete perhaps but he would still recognize the name probably. If not, Yakko could mention the cookies; no doubt he'd remember being allowed to eat lunches of cookies.

Surprisingly Bugs didn't look comfortable with the idea.

"I don't know doc, there's something else I need to tell ya, if ya think you're old enough to handle it. It's not good news-"

Yakko rolled his eyes. After everything he had been through the rabbit was worried he wasn't old enough for something? Bugs was funny sometimes; one minute he wanted to treat him like an adult, almost like a peer. The next minute he wanted to treat him like a child. He supposed it was nice the older toon tried to protect him at times but he was pretty sure he had proven he could handle a bit of bad news.

"I think I'm old enough Bugs. So what's wrong; her mouth got even crotchier in her old age?"

"I'm not joking Yakko. Goose isn't," Bugs started then broke off, twisting his mouth slightly.

Yakko looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Bugs usually didn't get tongue-tied. No matter what had come up, Bugs had always faced it head on. While Yakko remembered being shocked almost into silence at the hospital when he found out Wakko had diabetes, Bugs had stepped in and helped, not missing a beat. Again when the whole scandal broke last week with their background coming to light Bugs didn't seem to even stutter, he had jumped right in and took control of the situation.

Of course it wasn't about him per se; the most that had happened is that the article questioned if Bugs and the others had been fooled by three children. Maybe it was easier to deal with a situation when you're trying to help someone else deal with it.

"Look, the Goose you remember…she's not the same."

Yakko scanned the letter again; sure as hell sounded like her.

"Sounds like her. Gets her point across, encouraging in that special acidic way of hers, accusing me of throwing pity parties; what's different?"

"Don't get me wrong doc, her mind's still sharp…so's her tongue," he muttered. "But she's not exactly the same woman who gave out cookies and read stories." Sighing, he said, "Look, she's sick-"

Yakko felt his eyes widen as he jerked his head around to look at Bugs.

"Sick how?"

_Please tell me she has a cold…_

"Yakko, she had a stroke last year. She's paralyzed on the left side of her body."

_A stroke._

Yakko felt himself sag against the railing, Bugs' words echoing in his head.

_Paralyzed. _

"She's got quite a few other problems, some due to old age..." Looking at Yakko, Bugs asked, "You sure you're OK Mac? You look sort of ill."

_Not as ill as her apparently._

"Look Yakko, if you don't want to see her like this, I'd understand. So would she; she said as much. She can be hard to understand now, and you've been through enough; we can put it off if you like-"

"If she's that sick I'm not putting it off any longer."

_Damn it, I should have tried to contact her. I didn't have her address before, but I probably could have found it if I bothered trying. Or maybe a phone number. _

His face must have shown some of his thinking because Bugs added, "Don't blame yourself Yakko. You've got enough going on."

That was true. He still should have tried to contact her though.

Quietly he asked, "Does she still volunteer at the libraries?"

Bugs shook his head. "No. She had to hand over her position after she got sick. Now she mostly stays in her house." After a minute he added, "She'd love the company I know, especially you; she doesn't get enough visitors. You have no idea how happy she was you remembered her, had spoken of her-"

Yakko snorted in disbelief.

"You're kidding. How could I ever forget her? If it wasn't for her we'd probably be dead from starvation. None of us would have ever found our hammerspaces; I don't think I would have thought of leaving the home like I did, with some sort of plan if I hadn't listened to her." With a nod he said, "Saturday. I want to see her Saturday. Wakko's already asked to go to Buster's over the weekend. Dot; maybe she can go with Lisa somewhere or…"

He racked his brain. He wanted to see Goose, badly, but should he bring Dot for something like that. She was little, she'd probably be confused. No, he was being selfish; he wanted to see her by himself.

"I bet if I say something to Slappy she could watch Dot for awhile. Maybe she can take them to a movie or something," Bugs muttered to himself. "Maybe that one with the whale…"

"Free Willy," Yakko responded. Dot had wanted to see it since it came out last month. "She'd like that."

He felt guilty for thinking about it, like he was trying to pawn her off or something.

None the less he wanted to see Goose, and to be honest with himself, he wanted to see how bad off she was before he brought his siblings to see her. He still wanted them to meet her, now that they were old enough to actually remember her, but if he knew of how bad she was he could try to prepare them for it.

"Saturday it is then. I'll mention something to Slappy."

XXXXXXXXXX

_The New Fab Four_

_Article submitted by Anica Adams_

_Buster Bunny. Wakko Warner. Montana Max. Plucky Duck. _

_They're four names you wouldn't expect to see together on or off the screen. A calm cool and collected rabbit, an insane puppy-esque toon, a billionaire brat and a greedy egotistical duck would seem to be at odds constantly, and on their shows they are. Plucky's greed and easily excited demeanor are the exact opposite of Buster's mostly calm and sane nature. Both toons are always fighting with juvenile delinquent Max, who despite his money is usually left eating dirt. _

_And Wakko, on sister show 'Animaniacs' would just take a mallet to all three of them before sitting down to eat._

_But sometimes, what you see on screen isn't always what's correct._

_The four boys were together on the Warner Brothers lot around lunchtime on Tuesday, apparently very chummy and not intending to do any harm to one another. Apparently the middle Warner, Wakko, has made many friends inside the gates of the studio, three of the closest being the stars of sister show, Tiny Toon Adventures. _

_On a busy day at the Warner Brothers lot currently being rocked by an unexpected scandal involving three of their up and coming sensations, friends can provide a solace against a besiegement of reporters and photographers._

_I, like so many other reporters and curious onlookers, showed up at the gates to the studio early in the week, hoping for a glimpse of a familiar face and a few words from anyone willing to speak about the three Warners. I was fortunate enough to catch a few words from Buster, Montana, and Plucky as they strolled with Wakko to an unknown destination near the studio gates. _

_While Wakko would not speak to me about anything he was willing to pose with his friends for a few photographs. Buster informed me that Wako had been instructed to stay silent at this time; however he and his castmates were not and they were willing to speak about their friendship with him._

_All three informed me that they had met Wakko shortly after his arrival on the studio lot. Apparently he had 'helped them out of a tight spot' I was informed by Plucky with a very large smirk on his orange bill. _

"_We knew right away that Wakko was a good guy," Montana Max was quoted as saying. "He was willing to jump right into the situation and lend a hand. After his help we invited him to lunch. I even purchased it for him."_

"_Which says a lot," Plucky added while leaning on the fence and giving me a roguish grin. "Monty's notoriously tight with a dollar."_

_All four of the boys and myself found this amusing. They were a cute and charming bunch, even Wakko joining in on some of the joking before falling silent as his friends continued the interview._

_While none of the boys were willing to elaborate on what situation Wakko offered his assistance in, they did say they were pleased he had been willing to do so and that they had made a good choice in inviting him to lunch at the looniest table in the cafeteria. _

_When asked about their thoughts on the current predicament that Wakko finds himself in, Buster chimed right in._

"_Wakko is my best friend and always a welcome guest at my house. My father thinks as highly of him as he does of the rest of his family. We have no concerns about the rumors of him being a kleptomaniac. I've left every video game I own out and not one's gone missing," the little blue bunny laughed. "I think, at the very least, 'TTG' greatly exaggerated the scant bit of information they had. I'm glad that other papers are getting the correct information and interviewing people with legitimate facts now and not one or two bitter has-beens with a grudge."_

_I believe the well spoken rabbit would have gone on, but at this point the small mob of reporters further up the street near the guard shack noticed our ongoing interview and came to our section of the fence to begin trying to shout questions to the four boys. When several of the rougher men pushed me to get a better position near the fence and the four boys, Wakko finally spoke for the first and only time during the whole situation, yelling at the men for pushing into a girl like they did._

_All four boys are cute, charming, witty and obviously the best of friends, and while they…  
Story continued on page 19_

Wakko put the magazine down, not bothering to finish reading the article. The whole world had gone mad and was trying to drag him down with it. Besides, Babs had read the whole thing out loud to them, twice. He had finally taken it from her because he didn't believe something so silly was in print. In a girls magazine. And girls wanted to read it.

And girls liked it apparently. When he and the others had been eating, the girls had been crowding around them wanting to talk. And not about anything interesting either. Currently Elmyra was on his left trying to chat about the next up and coming function to him. On his right Fifi was trying to talk about….well, he wasn't sure; sometimes her accent was too strong and he couldn't figure out what she was saying.

He knew one thing; he was never going to France.

"Cute and charming? I haven't met those four boys," Babs said snidely from across the table where she was currently glaring at Buster. "I've met the greedy, disgusting and weird ones."

"What?" Buster asked while cramming a sandwich in his mouth. "We can be charming; she apparently thought so."

"I used to like this magazine; now I don't know-"

"Stop bitching Pinkie," Plucky said. "Just because the lady-"

"Me bitching? You four morons must have bribed her because if she knew the real you-"

Wakko sat back in the chair and watched his friends debate exactly how cute and charming they really were. He had hoped that the reporter wouldn't have put the pictures in the article. Honestly, he had hoped there wouldn't be an article.

When Babs had come into the cafeteria with the magazine and shoved the glossy cover under their noses he had almost sank out of his chair in embarrassment. Plucky had beamed at the additional publicity, Buster had rolled his eyes and gone back to his sandwich, and Max had complained for five minutes about being referred to as 'Montana'.

While the article was flattering it had the unexpected and unwelcome side affect of getting Fifi and Elmyra talking to him more about his 'inner feelings' on things and making Babs mad. He wasn't sure why she was mad; apparently them being in her magazine was enough.

Babs hadn't been mad at first; on the contrary she had seemed pretty amused about the whole thing and had tried to talk Buster into sitting beside her to show her how charming he could be. He had refused and she sat next to him anyway, knocking Plucky over into the next seat to do so.

The whole thing had taken an ugly turn when Babs had asked him to share her fries. Trying to charm her Buster had opened his mouth to show her the last of his half chewed fries and several of them had dropped onto her costume's skirt.

Wakko added that to his mental list of 'Things to Do To Get Girls To Leave You Alone'. They appeared to never be charmed by half eaten food in your mouth.

He hoped that Yakko wouldn't find out about this though. Wakko had told him about the small interview by the fence the day it happened, trying to remember everything that was said. Yakko hadn't been concerned about it, but had phoned Bugs to be on the safe side. Buster had already informed his tutor of exactly what had happened though, and Bugs had said it sounded like all four boys, for once, had actually behaved properly given the circumstances. Knowing Yakko he'd want to buy a few copies to save for his scrapbook.

"So, Wakko," Fifi drawled in his ear and startling him. "What else do you do like hmmmmm?"

"Video games."

There. Most girls didn't like video games like boys did. Elmyra and Babs did, but as a general rule girls didn't usually want to have all night video game sessions.

"Poohie. What else?"

"Um, I like to play the violin-"

"You do? Zat is supurb! Perhaps you could serenade me sometime, Oui?"

Wakko felt her tail begin to curl around his shoulders and panicked. He quickly scooted to the left and banged his legs into Elmyra's. He must have hit some sort of 'on' button because Elmyra, who had been strangely silent during the interrogation about his likes with Fifi, seemed to take that as an attempt on his part to commence talking. This time she wanted to quiz him on some upcoming function for Halloween and what he was going to dress as.

"And I was thinking cutie puppy that maybe we could dress in matching costumes-"

"Elmyra! I'm not dressing like a girl!" Wakko cut his eyes to the right; two seats down Max was laughing his ugly misshapen head off at him. Plucky was sitting across from him next to Shirley; both of them were laughing too.

_Life just isn't fair sometimes._

"Shut the hell up Max," he said. "No one thinks this is funny-"

"I do," Plucky said.

"I didn't ask you moronic mallard."

"Moronic huh? Hey Fifi," Plucky said, getting the girl' s attention. "Ask Wakko about what sort of food he likes; I've heard he loves crème brûlée. Especially for two."

_What the hell's crème brûlée?_

"You are a boy who both likes to play music and eat crème brûlée? Perhaps by candlelight no?"

"Um…sure, I guess. When the power's out or something…"

_Weirdo._

"I know Wakko!" Elmyra exclaimed. "You can dress like Batman and I'll be Catwoman!"

_Oh shit…_

He looked up just as Plucky and Max started laughing again, harder than before. Even Buster and Babs seemed to find this extremely amusing.

"Uh, no 'Myra…I'm allergic to matching costumes."

"Do you, how do you say, like other French food?"

Wakko jumped up as the purple skunk slowly walked her fingers up his arm. She had moved closer again; what did she want to do? Sit in his lap?

"Ummm, I like French Toast…"

_What the hell is this girl's problem?_

The insanity from the function was obviously still around; she hadn't even been at that one and she caught it. Maybe Elmyra was a carrier and she had spread it around the table. He needed to move; the seat on the other side of Max was free, he was going over there before he caught it too.

"'Ow about dancing? Perhaps you enjoy the waltz, or maybe a minuet?

"Um, no. Not a dancer."

He sent a silent thank you out to Dot; she was the only reason he had any idea what a minuet was. He couldn't dance it and had no desire to learn, but at least because of her he wasn't totally ignorant.

Seeing Buster still laughing at his obvious distress, Wakko added, "Buster is though; talk to him; he was all about dancing at the last function."

"God damn you inky," Buster muttered, glaring at him "Last time I help you out."

"Brought it on yourself Bunny," he grinned as Fifi cut her eyes to Buster while she flipped her mane of hair out of her eyes. "Don't worry, it's only an interview."

"Next one I give I'm gonna talk all about you and your ungrateful attitude and abandoning your friends in their hour of need you damned fink," Buster said as Fifi and Babs leaned in to talk to him and Elmyra watched, happily forking carrots in her mouth.

"Save it rabbit, I'm immune to your threats," Wakko called over his shoulder as he sat down next to Max. It was only three seats away, but better than nothing.

"You're not immune to my foot in your fucking ass-"

"What's all this about foots in orifices?"

Wakko looked up at the voice. Yakko was done with tutoring and had popped into the cafeteria unnoticed by anyone at the table, arms crossed and giving an uncomfortable looking Buster a look. Beside him Dot was watching the group with wide amused eyes.

And damn, Babs' stupid magazine was still on the table.

Trying to get Buster's attention Wakko waved his hand at him, pointing to the periodical. If Buster could get it and hide it in his hammerspace, Yakko wouldn't see it. If Yakko couldn't see it he couldn't read it and use it for ammunition against him as fodder for jokes.

Buster, still trying to ignore Babs and Fifi's talking, saw him. After furrowing his eyebrows at him for a second, he understood what Wakko was asking. He tried to get the magazine, Wakko had to give him that, but Babs was faster and snatched it away from him.

"You see this yet Yakko?" She asked. "The boys are now supposedly cute charming lady killers."

Cocking an eyebrow, Yakko said, "Oh really? I'd love to know how my goofy burping brother obtained that status."

Wakko watched as Yakko sat down beside Buster, Dot crawling in his lap so they could both read. Every now and then Dot would look up at one of them and smirk before whispering something in Yakko's ear which either made him laugh or he nodded in agreement. Wakko bit his lip; he was never gonna hear the end of this.

"I'm gonna be a damned rabbit killer," Max muttered darkly beside Wakko. "I just know Yakko's gonna have some smart-assed thing to say."

"Lighten up Monty," Plucky said.

"Yeah," Shirley put in, managing to pry herself off Plucky's arm long enough to take a long swallow of her juice. "If it was you, you'd be saying all sorts of nasty things yourself."

"I'd be making fun of someone else though," Max shrugged. "That's different. Then it's fun."

"You send off such negative energy Monty," Shirley chided.

"Whatever you screw loose. Just don't send any bad mojo or whatever the hell it is in my direction."

"Remember karma's a bitch Max," Plucky said quietly while casting a look toward Yakko.

Wakko smirked; Yakko had chided all of them about a few 'colorful' phrases and word choices in their vocabulary. They had learned to keep those sorts of things to a minimum when Yakko was around. He didn't want his friends banned from seeing him because Yakko flipped at a few words.

Max shrugged again while eating some leftover fries from Plucky's lunch. "I'll let you tools worry about the voodoo bullshit."

"Max, there's ladies at the table, watch the language," Yakko sighed, looking up from the article.

"Sorry Yakko," Max said, as usual not sounding sorry in the least. "Sorry Plucky if I offended your delicate sensibilities."

"Get bent Max."

"I have to say though, you four gave a good showing of yourself," Yakko said while still skimming the article. "Wakko managed to follow instructions and not say anything relevant-"

"Like usual," Dot said.

_Hmph. Snot._

"-and Buster and Plucky; you two actually sound sane. Max, you don't sound like yourself, which should be a compliment in itself."

"Thanks Yak," Max muttered while everyone laughed.

"But the four of you actually sounded like you each had a brain, instead of the four of you all sharing one."

"Thanks Yakko," everyone chorused.

Well. That went much better than expected. He honestly thought Yakko would have-

"And my little bro...quite the loverboy now. Already in the heartthrob section before your ninth birthday. So when can I expect to see pictures of you in the magazines with Elmyra hanging on your arm?"

_Damn it._

Hearing the others laugh and seeing both Fifi and Elmyra giving him big grins he tried not to sink too low in the seat. Yakko at least looked somewhat happy, something he hadn't looked much the last few days. Since the day after his birthday he had seemed distracted; not sad or upset. Wakko had even thought about it; Yakko had seemed to like his party, no one got him really weird presents. He couldn't be mad; there was no way Yakko would know about Wakko and the others sneaking into a conference room and pieing Scratchy and TP when they had been talking.

Actually, TP had been yelling and Dr. Scratchansniff had been fumbling around while twittering his fingers in front of him. And TP had been yelling about 'those damned kids'. Wakko had a feeling it was probably them.

But Yakko looked happy at the moment; joking with Buster, Babs and Dot about something in the article and Wakko finally shrugged. If laughing at his discomfort brought a smile to Yakko's face, he'd deal with it.

XXXXXXXXXX

_She lives here? She can't…As Wakko would say - what a shithole._

Yakko smirked to himself; he would have had Wakko back in the kitchen scrubbing if he had said it. He shrugged, amused; he'd ground himself later. But while a bit crude it was something like Wakko would have said and he'd be right. This was the dinkiest house Yakko had ever seen.

He hoped Bugs had the wrong house. No, he hoped Bugs had the wrong neighborhood. Maybe Bugs made a mistake, that had to be why he was pulling up next to the curb of the dilapidated house. He was going to call maybe, or look at a map or something…

Which didn't explain why he just turned off the car.

Yakko looked around the street, disgust making his lip curl slightly. He looked around the street as Bugs glanced at him. On the corner a group of large cat toons were leaning on a fence while smoking and yelling rude things to a group of girls sitting on a step across the street. From the matching black leather jackets Yakko surmised a guess that it was one of the local gangs; probably the 'Barnacle's'. Not the toughest name or gang around exactly - the 'Badenov's' over in Clampett were well known for being the meanest of the gangs.

He was glad he had listened to Bugs and not had Wakko and Dot come. Not now anyway. Between his own desire to see Goose himself and the questionable neighborhood, it was better they find something else to do. Luckily Wakko was more than happy to go spend time with his friends and Dot was delighted to go see a movie with Skippy and Slappy. Though now Slappy said both Bugs and Yakko owed her one - she hadn't wanted to see the movie. As far as she was concerned, it the whale got caught, that was his problem.

Going to see a movie had cheered Dot up though; she had been cranky all week because Wakko and his little friends had gotten in the magazine. Yakko had tried to point out her and Molly had a few pictures in a magazine before, but apparently that was different. She and Molly only had a few pictures; Buster, Plucky, Wakko and Max had all been interviewed and were almost a main article; a tiny picture of them had even been inserted on the front of the magazine.

Yakko had shook his head; Dot adored any attention and was upset that she had been slighted, even though she hadn't been around when the impromptu interview was taking place. Wakko hadn't wanted to be in the magazine and was almost embarrassed about it - especially since it seemed to get him more attention from the girls. He smirked; Wakko might fuss about it now, but he had a feeling his younger brother wouldn't complain about it in a few years.

Yakko pushed them from his mind. They were safe - he trusted both Slappy and Mr. Bunny with the two most important things in his life, and he had other things on his mind at the moment. He was excited, after all this time he was finally seeing his very first mentor. Sure, she could be cranky and antagonistic and would routinely turn her sharp tongue on him if he got too down on himself.

She could also be encouraging, helpful and was an excellent teacher.

He was worried though, about what he may find. Other than what Bugs had shared with him on his birthday, Bugs admitted he didn't know much about strokes. As the rabbit had pointed out, he was many things but a doctor was not among them.

And Yakko could admit that he knew even less about stokes than Bugs.

Reluctantly, he had asked the only person he could think of that might be able to give him some additional information; Dr. Scratchansniff. He had requested that Wakko and Dot leave the room because he wished to speak to Scratchy. Wakko and Dot had shared one glance of amazement and relief with each other before bolting to parts unknown and had left him alone with the curious but wary doctor.

Even now, sitting in Bugs' car three days later he was still astonished to discover that Scratchy might not be a total pinhead. He had almost asked Bugs to take him to a library somewhere so he could read up on it, but while Bugs had lightened his assignment load this week, the other tutors had not. Unable to get off the lot, he had turned to the doctor. The doctor was always saying he wanted to be their friend and wanted to help them 'achieve good mental health' or some nonsense; Yakko had given him the opportunity.

Once Yakko had hesitantly informed the doctor of who Goose was and what had happened to her, Dr. Scratchansniff had been quite sympathetic and had willingly talked to Yakko for several hours about what could have happened to Goose. The doctor, despite being a psychiatrist, had been a fountain of information on victims of strokes and had spoken at length about causes, what to expect when he saw her, and to be prepared for lapses of memory and slurred speech.

In-between the spurts of information, the doctor had also been prying information out of him. Yakko hadn't noticed it at the time, being more relieved that someone actually had the information he craved.

He was later annoyed with himself for falling for such a trite tactic, but shrugged it off; he hadn't revealed anything the doctor didn't already know. It also had the added benefit that Dr. Scratchansniff had seemed happy that Yakko was willingly talking to him about something that didn't involve girls or making a joke at his expense.

He was startled out of his musings by Bugs. The rabbit had gotten out of the car and was now looking at him.

Bugs opened his door and said, "You coming or you plan on looking at the local scenery all day?"

"Yeah, sorry."

Bugs had spoken to him a few times during the week and on the way here today, making sure that Yakko understood what to expect and that he still wished to go. If he saw Yakko hesitating because of his reminiscing, Bugs might get the idea that he had changed his mind and try to make him leave. He wouldn't of course, but he didn't want to get in a fight with Bugs.

Yakko gazed up at the house again. He supposed if he wanted to be generous, he could call it 'cozy'.

Considering the neighborhood they were in Yakko was surprised that Bugs would even want to drive his nice and no doubt valuable car to this area. Natwick wasn't the best of neighborhoods.

Yakko looked at the house, somewhat saddened. Goose really deserved better than this place.

The house had probably been nice at one point in time. A large porch and several windows with the green shutters pulled tight looked out onto a yard and Iwerks Street. With a fresh coat of white paint, well, it would still be a tiny dumpy house in the middle of a crummy neighborhood, but at least it wouldn't be the eyesore of the district.

Dead bushes and a flower bed once tended to but now choked with weeds greeted him as he stepped on the crumbling walkway. Getting a nod from Bugs he followed the rabbit with a slight frown on his face, noticing the rear end of a vehicle sitting on the corner of the house, almost obscured by the overgorwn grass. He had been gone from Plympton for a few years now and despite their less than luxurious living arrangements while out on the streets he had thought he was fairly well adjusted.

Apparently not though; now that he was back in one of the four ghettos he almost longed to leave despite the reason he was there. He wanted to see Goose, he really did. At the same time he wanted to jump back in the car and demand that Bugs get him out of there. He knew he was being foolish but he couldn't help it. After finally getting out of Plympton he swore he'd never come back to any of the ghettos.

_Stop it you idiot!_ He chided himself. _You're not moving back, you're with Bugs Bunny for god's sake. No one's going to do anything._

He rethought that. Bugs was rich; he'd be a good one to rob. Not to mention he had a nice car, good to carjack…

He was disgusted with himself for even giving a thought to the stereotype. He was from a project, his siblings, hell, obviously Kit was from one of them if he worked for Goose at some point. He was being ridiculous; he was always annoyed with people who caved in and lumped a certain type of person in a category and he was doing it himself.

But as soon as he saw the sign saying 'welcome to Natwick' spray painted over with graffiti and the streets beginning to get more littered as they drove farther in, familiar feelings returned. Fear and anxiety; wondering what the yelling was about down the street, was that a car firing or a gunshot, or who was going to come springing out of an alley at him, constantly looking over his shoulder and scanning the area for any potential problems. And he felt like an idiot for even thinking that – he had never been attacked really. But he had always been watching, just in case.

Looking to the left, Yakko spotted several toys; balls, an overturned tricycle and what appeared to be a pogo stick almost obscured by the dried out weeds. To the left were a rusted chain link fence and a few more scattered dead bushes.

He started at the sound of a loud noise and quickly looked over his left shoulder; a car backfiring. You could take the kid out of the projects, but you couldn't take the entire project out of the kid.

"You alright doc?"

Yakko nodded, glancing at Bugs. "Fine. Just surprised me."

"I bet."

Willing himself to calm down Yakko followed Bugs up the small set of stairs, feeling the rotting wood sag beneath his feet. While worried that he would fall through a step, he still refused to use the hand rail. With the condition it was in he had a feeling he would probably end up with splinters in his gloves.

Bypassing the doorbell, Bugs knocked on the door before placing his hand on the knob and gently pushing the door open.

"Penny? It's Bugs...brought a visitor this time...told ya I'd try to bring ya a surprise this time."

_Penny?_

Yakko shrugged at the nickname and followed Bugs inside, stepping into a small dim foyer. With a quick look at Yakko, Bugs walked to the left, heading into a small crowded living room. More hesitantly Yakko followed him, sniffing. He could smell the scent of lemons, as if the house had been recently scrubbed. There was also another scent he was very familiar with; the musty smell of a building closed up too long.

But no sound. For a house that was currently being inhabited, it was giving off an air of having been deserted.

He slowly followed Bugs and looked around. It was definitely the house of an older woman; doilies and flowers were scattered on every surface. A television sat on a small cart in the corner next to one of the windows. A flowered couch, piled high with several brightly-colored crocheted afghans and embroidered pillows was pushed against the left wall.

On end tables at each end of the couch he could see pictures. Forgetting himself for a moment he walked to the closest table and picked up a black and white photograph in a heavy embossed crystal frame, ignoring the other photos of various children and other toons.

She was probably fifty years younger and probably two-hundred pounds lighter than he remembered her in the photo. Beaming at the camera, her arms were entwined with a handsome human toon with jet-black hair and a dashing smile. He was in a dark tuxedo, she was in a plain white wedding dress with a plunging neckline that must have been risqué back when this photo was taken.

Complete with an elbow length veil and tiara, she was beautiful; she actually reminded him a lot of a princess in the picture. He almost smiled; even back then she still wore her shiny blond hair in the ringlet style, though it was much longer then. The ringlets trailed down over her breasts, almost reaching her hips.

Feeling Bugs watching him he looked up. Meeting his eyes, Yakko put the picture down; he would have jumped on Wakko or Dot for picking up something so precious without asking and he was doing it himself.

Putting his hands in his jeans pocket he chose to look around the room instead. His eyes settled on a tall stately grandfather clock, a bright golden pendulum swinging back and forth behind the glass, issuing out a quiet steady tick-tocking sound.

And in a wheel-chair in the corner next to the clock he could see Goose, looking almost like he remembered her, yet looking so much different. He quickly looked down, preparing himself. Goose wasn't the type that would appreciate pity and he had already glimpsed the oxygen tank sitting beside the chair.

Not meeting her eyes yet, he looked at her. Bugs had said she was paralyzed on her left side. Yakko could see her left hand draped in her lap as Bugs continued to walk to her chair and kneel down beside her, talking quietly and taking her stiff hand.

She was still a large woman. Now though where fat rolls were once cascading down her chin or bloating her fingers there was simply loose hanging skin. The result of quick weight lose, another side effect Dr. Scratchansniff had mentioned.

In the sleeveless sweater shell she wore he could see the faded white stretch marks around her upper arms. Across her lap lay another afghan, the red, black and green colors almost obscenely bright against the drab beige shell and long skirt she wore.

Taking a breath he looked directly into her face, trying to ignore the hanging skin under her chin and the oxygen mask strapped to her face. It wasn't as bad as he had imagined. Scratchy had told him when they said paralyzed, it didn't mean her face was frozen in whatever expression had been on it when the stroke had stuck. He was thankful for that.

It was still a large face despite the weight loss. The left side of her face was almost drooping, the cheek and the eyelid no longer staying taut like they should, but it was still the same face. The left side of her mouth was turned down…

Steeling himself, he finally met her eyes. Still brilliant and sharp, her bright blue eyes registered shock before warming to delight. Even with the oxygen mask placed against her face he could see the right side of her mouth curl upward in a grin.

He was thankful for that too; Scratchy said that while it sounded like Goose's stroke was severe, it could have been much worse. She may have some memory loss; during the stroke brain cells were constantly dieing but if she had gotten help soon enough…

She must have; she wrote the quick letter for him on his birthday while Bugs was waiting and she was grinning now; she knew who he was. This was uncharted territory for him, but he still felt like an idiot for worrying.

Hoping that he didn't look too hesitant and inadvertently insulted her Yakko began to walk toward her chair. Seeing him approaching she took her right hand, planted it on Bugs' forehead and pushed, sending the rabbit sprawling before holding her arm back up to him.

He paused for a second, simply looking at her while trying to hear what she was saying. Her mouth was moving and sound was being emitted but it was so quiet.

Getting closer and leaning down a bit more, he could make out the words finally - enough to understand the slurring speech.

"No hug...Puddles...for an old lady?"

He tried to refrain from jumping toward her to give her a hug - he didn't want to tip the wheelchair. At the same time he couldn't stop himself - he closed the three steps separating them and threw himself on her, avoiding hitting the tubing for her mask.

He hadn't wanted to come back to any of the four ghettos ever again; he was almost ashamed to admit he'd rather forget his past and focus on the present and future, which were much more bright. Another one of the many reasons he had been so pissed when information about their pre-lot days got out; it reminded him of what he was - or had been.

At the same time, forgetting the past totally would mean he would be forgetting plenty of good times too. Like his sibs discovering the world around them, interacting with it for the first time as they learned to walk and talk; his own sense of achievement every time he conquered some new task that had fallen on him, and of course the woman in front of him.

Feeling her pull him in tight with her one good arm, even though it wasn't Plympton, he almost felt, in some small way, that he had come home.

End Chapter 21


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 - Assistance

August 14, 1993

_I wish she'd let me move her; I can't stand the stupid clock tick-tocking in my ear._

Yakko shifted to a crouching position so that he was on his heels. He had been kneeling by the wheelchair for thirty minutes now and while he wasn't exactly an old man, it was starting to wear on his knees. He wished Goose would let him move her away from the clock. It wasn't loud, but with her quiet voice he was having problems hearing her.

When he had asked if she wanted to be moved, perhaps closer to the couch and away from the clock she had become almost alarmed, the right side of her face becoming animated and showing anger for the first time since he had known her.

It had taken him and Bugs almost five minutes to calm and assure her they weren't going to make her move anywhere. Bugs had mouthed to him behind Goose's back to leave her alone; if she wanted to sit in that corner she could. Concerned and embarrassed, Yakko had nodded.

"Whittington."

Yakko started slightly as she spoke again, wondering what she was talking about. He was still holding her right hand, looking at the veins showing through the translucent white skin, and he gave it a squeeze. Hopefully she would clarify what she wanted.

"St. Michaels. Whittington."

"I don't understand Goose," he said again. "Michael's?"

Maybe she wanted to go to someone's house? If it was close maybe he could see if Bugs would drive them…

"Whittington! Yakko…Whittington. Please."

Confused, Yakko turned to look at Bugs who was standing on the left side of Goose's chair with an equally perplexed look on his face. He shrugged at Yakko. Goose was staring at Yakko with an almost fervorent look on her face.

"Sorry doc, I don't know a Whittington."

"She means chimes."

Yakko jumped to his feet, startled at the new voice. Dropping Goose's hand he and Bugs both turned toward the doorway. Standing there watching them through the archway was an older woman, maybe in her forties, her curly blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and regarding them with sharp blue eyes. In her hands were several bags of groceries, a loaf of bread and stalks of celery sticking out the top and almost obscuring the bottom portion of her face.

"Hello Mr. Bunny."

Bugs nodded. "Hello Charlotte. I told you, it's Bugs. Mr. Bunny makes me sound old."

"You are old."

Bugs stepped around the wheel chair and went toward her. Yakko frowned, watching her. From her looks and the frank way she spoke he surmised that this was Goose's daughter.

"Charlotte….Yakko…from Plympton-"

"Yes Mother," Charlotte said, closing the door with her foot. "I watched the show too." She looked at him, giving him a tired smile. "Hello Yakko, you'll have to wait for me to greet you-"

_Idiot._

Yakko quickly crossed the room, taking one of the other bags from her and being rewarded with a sunny smile. That was nice, him standing there watching her while her arms were full of bags. Bugs gave him a small smile before following her into the kitchen.

"Just put it on the counter Yakko," Charlotte said, using her free hand to flick the switch to the up position and illuminating the room.

He glanced around. While small and old, it was clean. He almost groaned; the stove and refrigerator were avocado green. Reminding him of their old apartment he once again thought of how much he hated that color and how he hoped to never see it again. The floor, a faded white and beige linoleum was freshly scrubbed, a few scuffs marring the surface.

"Go see Mother Yakko," Charlotte said. "Tell her I'll be out to fix the chimes in a minute."

Yakko nodded, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Giving a quick glance to Bugs he headed back out to Goose, whose face was turned to watch him come to kneel beside her again on the brown carpet.

"Your daughter said she'll be out in a second-"

"The chimes," she interrupted him. She took her hand and placed it lovingly on the clock for a moment before taking his hand again. "Whittington. Nigel's favorite…mine too…"

Yakko's quick mind was already running. Nigel. Perhaps her husband, the man in the photo.

"Your husband?"

At her nod he wondered where he was. If his wife was sick you'd think the man would be close. Perhaps he was sick too, maybe in one of the back rooms.

"So proud…of you…" Goose freed her hand from his again to briefly touch his cheek. "Knew you'd do well…away from these places…"

Yakko kept his ears raised to hear her. He had been worried he might not be able to understand her speech as slurred as it was. So far he hadn't had too many problems. It was quiet, slow and halting, but understandable if he concentrated.

"Because of you," he said. "We would've never had a chance if not for you."

The right side of her mouth curled up in a smile behind the mask. "Not because of me…all you…brains, potential…good looks…big star now…and you remembered me…I was so happy…when Bugs stopped by…taught him to read long ago…"

_She taught Bugs to read? Wonder why Bugs never said anything…_

"All the brains and potential in the world don't matter if you don't know what to do with it," Yakko said. "I wouldn't have been able to get in my hammerspace if not for you…I've got so much to tell you." Thinking of one particular thing she would no doubt enjoy he asked, "Remember the mallet you gave me?"

At her grin and nod, he quickly told her about the first time he used it, when he bonked Malocchio when he had first escaped from the Brutus-Nero Home. He was gratified to see her laughing, her bright eyes shining with tears. He paused, hoping that his making her laugh wasn't going to make her use more oxygen or start choking.

"Got Dottie back…how?"

When he told her of their half assed rescue mission, about Dane and Wakko's plan on stealing the file and him getting spotted with Dot in his arms by Garbo right in the house she started laughing harder, a low sound broken off by occasional coughs. Alarmed, he stopped.

"Go on kid, good for her to laugh. She doesn't do it enough."

He looked up to see both Bugs and Charlotte standing in the doorway from the kitchen leading back into the living room.

Charlotte shrugged. "Keep going. She wants to hear it; so do I. Mom said that article about you assaulting half the staff of TIS was probably false. She was really upset about that; she really hoped you had clobbered the whole damn staff."

"They…took all my good ones," Goose nodded slowly. "To old to hit….myself…lived it through…your exploits. Charlotte…Whittington?"

"Sure Mother," she said, going to the tall clock. Pulling a small key out from under her shirt on a golden chain, she inserted it into the glass over the clock's face after she gently touched one of the carved rosettes decorating the case.

Yakko turned to watch, curious. She turned, saw him watching, and gestured for him to stand and come closer.

"It's probably her most treasured possession. Papa made these; he designed long case clocks-"

"I thought it was a grandfather clock," Yakko said.

"I remember Mother telling me about you now," Charlotte said as she stopped playing with the clock face to give him a withering look. "You're the one who always liked to talk and interrupt her. As she said, your name fits."

Yakko scowled and made a 'humphing' sound.

"A grandfather clock is a long case clock," she continued.

Behind him, Yakko could hear Goose laughing quietly in her mask as Bugs made what was undoubtedly a smart assed comment.

"Papa was a craftsman; he made this for her years ago," Charlotte said quietly, running her hand lovingly on the side cherry panel before continuing. "He designed it specifically for her, built it by hand, presented it to her when he asked her to marry him."

Yakko, despite being annoyed with the chiding, listened.

"Papa was from County Durham, England. Since he couldn't decide which chime sequence to put in the clock, he made this prototype. Look, see here," she said, pointing inside the face.

Yakko looked, seeing a small golden switch. He also took a better look at the clock face, more interested now that he knew it was handcrafted. The face itself was a work of art; shades of blue showing the current moon phases on a rotating dial behind the hands.

"This switch controls the chimes. Up is Whittington, down one is Winchester, down two is St. Michaels, very bottom is off."

"For…Charlotte…cried too much when baby."

"Yes Mother, thank you, let everyone know I was afraid of the clock," Charlotte muttered. "Anyway he put that in later. Mother likes to listen to the Whittington chimes at three."

"When we were married," Goose said softly.

Yakko was strangely touched by the sweet gesture.

"Where is your father?" he asked quietly, struck by a thought and hoping he was very wrong.

"He passed away, three years ago come September," Charlotte said softly.

_Damn. Hate when I'm right._

"Cancer." She gave a quiet bitter laugh. "I told him to stop smoking; told Mom too, but they never listened."

_Goose smoked? She always acted like she was disgusted by the habit._

"Different back then," Goose slurred. "Didn't know…how dangerous it was…Fred and Wilma advertised the things."

Charlotte sniffed. "Fred and Wilma? Humph. That guy's a walking heart attack with his eating and drinking and smoking and his wife's a prissy bitch-"

"Language Charlotte," Goose said.

"I'm an adult mother, I'll say what I please." Turning to Yakko she added softly, "Between you and me she is a bitch; puts on airs. Wants everyone to think that those rocks around her neck are real - they're not - I sell better looking fakes in my costume shop."

Yakko stared at her for a second before starting to laugh. He should have guessed though that Goose's daughter would have the same acidic tongue that she had.

"Smoking's horrible…don't start Yakko…or your siblings…" Goose added.

_They'd better not_, Yakko thought sourly. _I'll wring both their necks if they try that._

"Anyway, off the subject of those two," Charlotte said, turning up her little nose at the thought of them like it carried an unpleasant odor. "Down here is where the clock winds. It only needs to be wound every eight days; the daily winding went out long ago."

She crouched down and Yakko, unsure why she was telling him all this, crouched down beside her. She used the same key to unlock the front glass door, ignoring the beveled glass doors on the sides.

"Look, all you have to do is raise the chains here," she said, grasping one of them and pulling with a steady pulling motion until the weight came to just under the clocks face.

"Over here, this left one is for the hour strike. The one in the center powers the pendulum, and right one controls the quarter-hour chimes. It's even got a light inside, see?" she asked, flicking a small switch inside the case and illuminating the interior. Clasping her hands together she asked, "It's really amazing isn't it?"

Unsure what to say, he nodded. He now knew more about grandfather clocks than he ever wished to know. He looked at the clock; much like his watch, he didn't really care how it worked. As long as it did he was happy.

But it was an unexpected but welcome look into Goose's life. Of course there was more to her than cookies and attempting to tutor project kids between reading fairytales.

Bugs was quietly talking to Goose, telling her about Wakko and Dot, how charming Dot was and how much Wakko was like Foghorn and she chuckled into her mask, the sound echoing in the room. She stopped after a minute and looked at the clock face. Yakko and Charlotte also stopped to look. It was almost three.

As the chimes began to ring, the gentle sound echoing throughout the whole house, Goose smiled, her hand reaching out to hold Yakko's. He gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You're so much…like him…smart, dashing, caring for your family…don't ever change that…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Stifling a yawn, Yakko looked out the window of the Mercedes as they finally drove from ToonTown, clearing customs and beginning to head down the interstate back towards Burbank.

"You OK Yakko? You've been quiet, something I can't say I've seen ya do much."

"Just thinking," Yakko sighed, leaning back in the leather seat.

Yakko had never really thought about what sort of car he wanted when he got older, but while he was musing he added the Mercedes to his list. The seats were extremely comfortable. He really liked the heated seats; it was August, and while the days were still quite warm, the nights could get on the cool side.

He tried to push Goose and Charlotte out of his mind. Here he was, luxuriating in Bugs' Mercedes and wondering what his own first car would be, and those two didn't even have one. They had a van but apparently it hadn't run for a year and there wasn't any money to spare to fix the aging vehicle. Since they couldn't get Goose on the bus, they had to pay the extra money for special delivery services to come to the house to take her to the doctor or physical therapists. Charlotte took the bus to get to work. Yakko shook his head; he remembered the ToonTown transit service, the giant pink horrors coming down the street.

He glanced at the clock and seeing the time stifled a groan. They were already late getting back; the movie would have let out hours ago. Now he'd probably have an irritated Slappy waiting for him at the bottom of the tower along with an overly curious Dot.

He gave a thankful sigh that at least Wakko wasn't there too; Dot bugging him to tell her where he went would be more than enough. If she had her partner in crime helping her pester him they'd wring it out of him quickly and he wasn't sure if he felt like discussing it yet.

He flipped the small button for the heat to come on and wondered if he made a good decision. He was already getting drowsy; he hadn't slept as well as he normally did during the week. Last night he hadn't slept at all and finally gave up near dawn, to sit and nervously wait until it was time for Slappy to come pick Dot up, then to wait for Bugs to get him.

Plus his stomach was full. They had stayed long enough that Charlotte had invited them for dinner. Both he and Bugs had tried to decline, not wishing to impose. Plus, just from a glimpse around Yakko could guess they were having money problems - the last thing he wanted to do was take food from them.

Goose decided for him, grabbing his wrist and proclaiming him 'skinny' and refusing to let go until he and Bugs had agreed. Charlotte was even nice enough to make a simple salad for Bugs; as the rabbit had pointed out, he was a vegetarian. But Yakko wasn't and Charlotte made a wonderful lamb stew.

On top of all that, the visit with Goose had mentally worn him out.

He didn't know why; he had known basically what shape she was in. Actually, she was in much better condition than he had thought. She could talk…sort of. Her memory was mostly intact, though he did have to remind her about a few things, mostly minor things like giving him the golf ball and flower that Dot now currently had. After he had sparked her memory Goose had not only remembered, but was honored that Yakko had passed the flower down to each sibling for them to learn on.

"Whatcha thinking about Yakko?"

_Nothing relevant._

"Not much…Hey Bugs, how come you never said you knew Goose?"

Bugs looked at him out of the corner of his eye before saying, "Never came up. Her daughter was nice though huh? And that clock, pretty impressive."

Yakko frowned slightly. If he didn't know better, he'd say the rabbit was trying to distract him. He knew the game well enough; he did it to Wakko and Dot all the time. He wasn't real used to it being played back on him though.

"Yeah, I guess." Deciding to change tactics for the moment, Yakko said, "That house, that neighborhood, I can't believe she lives there."

"She's lived there since the sixties Yakko; it wasn't anywhere near that bad then," Bugs said. "Some of those people, they don't have enough money to move to a better neighborhood, they get stuck there."

Yakko nodded. He could relate to that, being stuck in a crummy neighborhood. He wished he could do something to help her. He had inadvertently insulted Goose when they left by offering her some money. She was nice enough to tell him he insulted her by flicking the base of his ear. Even now he could feel where her fingers made contact.

"And if I was you, I wouldn't offer her any more money. Dame like that, all you do is insult her, Charlotte too."

"I wasn't trying to insult them Bugs," Yakko said, slightly insulted himself. How cruel did Bugs think he was? "I was trying to help - you saw that place-"

"Yeah, I saw it, seen it a couple of times now. Look, Yakko, people like them, they gotta lot of pride. Having some kid, no matter how rich or famous, pointing out their status-"

"I wasn't trying to do that!" Yakko insisted. "That didn't even cross my mind!"

_Rabbit must think I'm a real piece of work if that's what he got out of it._

"I know Yakko, but sometimes - again probably due to age, you don't say things right and-"

"Look, I wanted to help! She's done so much, and seeing how she was living now…" Yakko sighed. "I didn't know what else to do."

"Well doc, I can respect that, but can't you think of something else to do besides trying to throw money at her?"

Yakko looked at Bugs. The rabbit had one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand absently playing with his ear. Yakko decided not to point out that his hands were supposed to be at ten and two; he was thirteen and knew that.

"Rent an apartment for her and make her move," Yakko muttered.

"Yeah, that'll go over big. The house wasn't that bad Yakko."

"It wasn't that good either Bugs."

"Stubborn. I don't know, coat of fresh paint, the yard cleaned up, might look OK. Goose liked flowers, she had the yard looking OK years ago. She can't do it now, probably why she stays holed up in that house with the shutters pulled."

Yakko grimaced; when he had offered to open the shutters to get some sunlight in the house, Goose had called him Pollyanna and told him to leave them closed.

"Course, Charlotte doesn't have the time between her costume business and taking care of her mother; tires her out. She had to give up her apartment to move in and take care of her…"

Just like Yakko knew when someone was trying to distract him, he also knew when someone was trying to prod him in the right direction. Again, something he frequently did for Wakko and Dot when they had some moral dilemma they were facing.

"I think she liked having the company; not as many people come by as they should. She really did help a lot of toons over the years-"

"She helped you. Do you go to visit her?"

Bugs muttered, "I will now."

"You didn't before?"

"No. Now don't look at me like that-"

"Did you know she was like that, before you told me?" Yakko demanded.

He had always thought Bugs actually had a pretty giving heart. He might have to rethink that…

Bugs shrugged, looking embarrassed. "No. If I had I would have told ya as soon as I knew. Reason I didn't tell ya before that I knew her. I'll be honest with ya doc, even us older toons…we sometimes forget the ones who helped us on our way."

Yakko looked at Bugs as he continued talking. The rabbit still looked embarrassed and Yakko felt somewhat bad for putting the rabbit on the spot. He wouldn't have appreciated Bugs doing it to him.

"Basically, you pointed out to me that I can be selfish and forgetful too, and now I'm annoyed with myself. It wouldn't have killed me to look her up. I knew she was doing some volunteer work at the library after she retired." Bugs shook his head, looking annoyed.

_Damn, now I pissed off my mentor._

"Look, I didn't mean to Bugs, that's not why I was asking-"

"I know doc, it's not you; it's my fault."

Even with this conversation going on, Yakko's mind was already running, analyzing the situation. Goose did seem to enjoy the company, despite his faux pas in offering her money. Her daughter was trying, but couldn't take care of the yard and the house and her mother and her store too. Well, she was, but it was obviously exhausting if the rings under her eyes were any indication.

Goose had helped him when he needed it…

"What about if we go over there? Help out with the yard work or something? Make that place look halfway livable."

Bugs cut his eyes to Yakko.

"What? You've got enough going on Yakko, with the show and your schoolwork and Wakko and Dot-"

Yakko shrugged, warming to the idea. "I'll bring them along. I wanted them to meet her anyway, now that they're both old enough and can actually remember her. They'll come and help out." He thought about that for a second. "Dot can keep Goose company; bet she'd really like that. Maybe Wakko can help me get the yard cleaned up."

"Yeah, what every eight-year-old wants to do, rake leaves at an elderly woman's house."

"He'll do it; Goose helped all of us at one point, I bet Wakko and Dot will love to come over and help her."

Seeing Bugs giving him a skeptical look, his eyes reflecting the lights they were passing along the interstate, Yakko kept talking.

"Even if they fuss some, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to pitch in once they understand who she is." Yakko shrugged. "And if they don't, they won't have a choice anyway."

He was technically in charge. He had a feeling Wakko would probably put up more of a fuss than Dot, but his younger brother could deal. He hung out with those goofballs seven days a week; he could give up a few hours of his time to help someone who was very likely responsible for them being in the situation they were in now. Yakko snorted, Wakko wouldn't even know his friends without Goose's involvement.

Bugs rolled his eyes and muttered, "Sure. Can't wait to hear the fussing that comes with this."

XXXXXXXXXX

August 21, 1993

_Wait for it…he gave you a really important job…don't want to blow it…_

"OK boy, turn the key, just like I showed you - and don't touch - I say don't touch anything else."

Grinning at Foghorn's yell, Wakko turned the ignition key, wincing at the loud knocking sound emulating out of the old truck and wrinkling his noise at the horrible smell coming from the ether. He couldn't believe that Foghorn trusted him to start the truck while he was under the hood spraying the carburetor.

And the rooster was trying to explain everything he did, like he wanted Wakko to learn. Wakko just learned that ether would force the engine to start. And the rooster was trusting him to help start the old truck, despite the fact that Wakko couldn't even reach the pedals Foghorn said he was the only one he trusted to help him.

The rooster had showed up almost half an hour ago to the Gooses' house. Wakko had been quite pleased to see the familiar black Chevy Silverado Dually drive up to the dilapidated old house. He was still annoyed with Yakko for making him come there. He hadn't wanted to come to some old lady's house even if it was to visit, let alone to work all day.

Foghorn had saved the day though, telling Yakko and Bugs that he was going to need Wakko's help to fix the Gooses' broken down vehicle and that Wakko needed to stop playing with the garbage in the yard and come help fix the piece of garbage truck with him.

Originally all he had been doing was handing Foghorn tools, and Wakko had thought he just moved from doing one type of busy work to another. But then the rooster began telling him what he was doing; he said that if Wakko liked cars so much he should know how to fix them, and he was just the guy to teach him.

Wakko had watched in wonder when Foghorn had tried jumping the old Bronco with his truck. He had muttered something about his Chevy having so much power it was probably going to kick the Ford's ass to next week. Wakko snickered but pretended that he hadn't heard the comment when Foghorn asked what he was laughing at. He didn't want Foghorn to get in trouble for using 'inappropriate' language around him. Compared to some of the things his friends said, it was actually pretty tame.

The jump alone didn't start the truck, and Foghorn had decided they had to go a different route. Pulling out a can of ether from his large shiny chrome toolbox in the back of his truck's bed, he had said he was going to force the engine to start and Wakko was gonna help him.

With that stunning announcement, the rooster had lifted him up and put him in the seat behind the wheel and gave him the keys with strict instructions not to touch anything else. Ecstatic, Wakko had nodded and promised to follow every instruction. If Foghorn trusted him with something that important, he wasn't going to play around. He'd sit on his hands in the seat until Foghorn told him to move if need be.

The rooster was right though; the Gooses' 1984 Ford Bronco II was a big piece of garbage, and not just because it was a Ford. Foghorn said he was a Chevy man himself. The kindest thing he had said about the Ford today was that Ford stood for 'Formed Of Recycled Dodge'.

Personally, Wakko didn't see that much wrong with Ford. It wasn't even that bad a truck really, or SUV, whatever they wanted to call it. It was small and pretty basic and was monkey vomit green, but he was sure it had some sort of redeeming quality. Feeling the truck give another violent shudder, he decided that perhaps Foghorn was right; maybe this vehicle did suck.

"Come on out boy!" Foghorn yelled over the horrendous knocking coming from the truck. "Tailpipes smoking more than a Pinto in a rear-ender…funny, that was a Ford too."

Wakko jumped out of the seat at his yell and ran back to the front of the truck, standing on the bumper so he could watch Foghorn and noticing that the ether smelled really bad.

Meanwhile, the chicken was shaking his head at the vehicle. Stroking the bottom of his beak with his left hand thoughtfully while his right hand drummed on the open hood, Wakko thought he looked quite cool.

And he was cool; any guy who could fix a car - especially a car with this many problems - was OK in his book. While Yakko might not have any interest in cars and Dot thought that as long as it was taking her to the nearest place to shop she didn't much care how they operated, he loved them. He could still hardly believe that Foghorn was showing him stuff. It sure beat gathering up leaves and garbage with Yakko and Bugs.

"Your brother and that rabbit, told me this was a van," Foghorn said. Wakko raised his ears so he could hear what the chicken was saying, the engine wasn't getting any quieter. "Shouldn't have listened; those two wouldn't know a van from a Porsche. Hand me the screwdriver boy; one with the blue handle."

"You mean the Phillips head one?" He asked, handing him the tool. He knew what the tools were, Foghorn didn't have to point out colors to him.

"Good eye boy; knew I liked you for a reason," Foghorn said, pulling the brim of Wakko's hat down over his eyes playfully as he leaned back into the hood.

Wakko gave him a glare and twisted the brim of his hat toward the back of his head again. Where it should be. Silly chicken.

Meanwhile, Foghorn started undoing the wing nut on top of the air breather, taking the cover off so he could see more into the motor. Wakko climbed up on the bumper beside him. It was still loud, but really so was Foghorn, he could hear him over the noise.

"Watch what I'm doing boy, might learn something-"

"Doubt that."

Wakko smirked at his muttered 'Wise Guy'. Their standard exchange whenever Wakko's mind started to drift from whatever the chicken was saying.

"I suppose I oughta - I say - I suppose I oughta be happy it's not a van; not easy to work on. Don't like these vehicles either though; engine's no good - surprised this one doesn't have cracks in the cylinder heads from overheating." He pointed, saying, "See this here switch boy? Trying to adjust idle settings, tune it down boy, you understand what I'm saying son?"

"Yeah!"

_Sorta…_

Wakko watched him for a few minutes as he continued to try to tune it down. He hoped he could accomplish it soon; the noise and smoke and smell was so bad he was getting a headache.

"Least one of you Warner boys has your eyes on something but the girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that - I say - not that there's anything wrong with that, but when a boy his age can't tell a van from a truck…No excuse for that hair-brained hare either at his age…"

Wakko snickered as Foghorn continued to mutter about silly rabbits and boys who don't know a thing about cars only being a few years out from getting their licenses. Yakko was several years out actually; he doubted Yakko would be able to get his license when he was sixteen. And even if he did it wouldn't be that big a deal; he couldn't leave the studio without someone until he was eighteen anyway.

Wakko shrugged out of his jacket and tried to avoid getting any grease on it. Yakko had finally made him get rid of his older one, the one the boy Dane at the home had given him. He missed the jacket, it had been really comfortable, but it was too tight now. The sleeves were too short and it was pretty worn. Max had said he looked like a scarecrow because his wrists stuck out of it. Max could be a stuck-up jerk though.

This new one was nice, but it was going to take him awhile to get it broken in. The denim was still stiff; hopefully the denim would start to break down soon and it would be as soft as his old jacket.

He glanced over his shoulder; Bugs and Yakko were making quick work of the yard, the two of them yelling jokes and stories to each other as they raked. Wakko had to admit they were doing a good job. It actually was starting to look like a yard and not an abandoned lot.

He tossed the jacket in the front seat of the vehicle and hopped back up on the bumper so he could continue to watch Foghorn. He was really happy the big chicken was there.

When Yakko had told him that he couldn't go to Buster's on Friday night because he had someone he wanted him to meet early Saturday morning, Wakko hadn't been real happy. He had a feeling Yakko wasn't having him meet someone cool either. And he had plans; Mr. Bunny was supposed to be taking all of them to the new skating rink that had opened at the mall. Of course he was going to do it tonight and last night would have been spent playing video games, but still. Now he was gonna be too exhausted to do anything.

And he had been right; it wasn't anyone really cool. When Bugs had picked them up, Wakko had been displeased. When they arrived at the dump house in the Natwick District and Wakko found out he was going to be spending a good portion of his day doing yard work with his brother for some old lady he barely remembered, he had gotten sulky.

It wasn't fair; it was like he was being punished and he actually hadn't done anything wrong this week…that Yakko knew of anyway.

He worked all week. He had to memorize lines, go to classes, do homework, and be on the set early in the morning; if he was really lucky they got off set sometime in the afternoon. He didn't see where he should have to spend his down time doing even more laborious work. Especially when he hadn't even been asked; Yakko had pretty much told him. Yakko told him to do a lot of stuff but usually he would phrase it like he was asking. This time he had just said he was going.

It had been boring for the first few hours. There were doilies on every square inch of the house; what wasn't covered in doilies was covered in flowers. Some spaces had both crammed into them. The couch was not only as ugly as theirs back at the tower it was uncomfortable too and had boatloads of hideous blankets on it. 'Afghans' Dot had informed him.

Blanket, afghan, whatever; they were ugly.

The old lady in the chair was nice though; she knew his name and talked to him for a little while but she remembered him a lot better than he did her. He sort of felt bad about that.

He had a few memories of her; a large woman picking him up and putting him in a chair and telling him to eat as many cookies as he wanted because no one knew he had diabetes then. He remembered standing up beside Yakko, his brother dressed in a few silly outfits doing some different card tricks. He remembered walking to the library.

He sighed. He didn't mind helping her out he supposed, even if it was chewing up half his weekend and they were making him work hard; he had to help clean up the yard with Yakko. Dot got off easy; she got to help out the old lady's daughter by cleaning up the house and talking to the two of them. No wonder she was in a good mood.

Bugs had stayed in the house for awhile before coming outside. Surprisingly, the rabbit had started to help them with the yard. Wakko hadn't expected him to do that. The rabbit had said that he knew his way around a yard with a rake, why shouldn't he help? Then he had told Wakko that he had a surprise for him.

Wakko had cringed at that announcement; what else could they possibly do to him? He had a feeling they were going to want him to paint the house or something next.

But the surprise was that Foghorn was coming to fix the Gooses' vehicle that should have been sent to a scrap heap years ago. Bugs had apparently asked him to come look at it since Foghorn was one of the better 'back-yard' mechanics he knew.

He would rather be with his friends, but if he couldn't do that he supposed working on a car with the rooster was preferable to raking leaves or whatever hellish task they could come up with next. Foghorn even said he'd drive him over to Buster's house later if he wanted.

That was OK with him too; some of the adults listened to very boring music that put him to sleep. Bugs was OK sometimes, he'd have on the old rock-n-roll, but he would usually turn it way down if they were in the car. Slappy usually had on what could only be termed 'elevator music'. Foghorn usually had on what he called 'southern rock'.

Mr. Bunny would usually just sigh and let Buster put on whatever he wanted, though since Buster really liked rap, he had been stopping that practice. Mr. Bunny said he didn't think 'NWA' or 'Dr. Dre' was appropriate for eight and nine year olds, even if it was the edited versions they played on the radio. That was sort of odd; he was usually pretty laid back with everything else. Luckily Max had somehow managed to get a couple copies of the different tapes they could listen to when the adults weren't around; and it wasn't even the edited versions with blank spaces where the bad words were.

As Monty said, when he got something he wasn't supposed to have, he didn't half ass it. He got the 'real deal'.

"You daydream more than any princess I ever met boy."

"Huh?"

"Don't huh me son – never mind, do it myself," Foghorn yelled. "Wanna show ya something!"

Foghorn walked away from the truck to go to the cab, reaching in to turn the ignition off. Wakko stood on the bumper and watched him; apparently the chicken knew what was wrong with the ugly truck. If he'd ever stop whistling 'Camptown Races' to himself, he might just even share what it was. Wakko tapped his foot impatiently while Foghorn rummaged through his toolbox then came back with a 10 millimeter socket.

Handing him the wrench, Foghorn said, "Gotta be careful boy – don't wanna get burned. Now then, think you can unbolt that for me?"

Wakko looked where he was pointing; the valve cover. Wakko counted; four bolts ran across the top of the cover with another four running across the bottom. Wakko grinned and nodded. He could do this.

"Be careful there Wakko-"

"OK!"

Tongue sticking out of the right side of his mouth as he concentrated, he began to undo the bolts starting at the bottom. They were easier to reach. He hoped the top ones were less hard to get off though.

After ten minutes he just had the bottom bolts off and he was wondering if he was even going to be able to touch the top ones. Foghorn was currently standing beside him checking the radiator.

"Thing's got more problems than a Yugo," Foghorn muttered. "You got those bolts off yet?"

"Now lookie here boy, I know what the problem is. Other than it's a Ford of course."

_What has he got against Fords? They aren't that bad!_

Foghorn gently took the socket wrench from him and quickly undid the remaining top bolts. "Stand aside boy, ya haven't got the heft to do the rest. Now that knocking - you heard it right? Even though I was messing with the idle settling, wouldn't tune down. Any idea what that was boy?"

Wakko looked at him and guessed, "A bad spark plug?"

_Moron. He could have checked that without taking apart half the case._

"Good try, but we could have checked that before now. Anything else?"

Hoping he sounded like he had some idea what he was talking about, Wakko said, "A bent lifter?"

_Another stupid answer._

"Again, another good - I say another good answer, but no. Let's look inside."

Standing up, Foghorn quickly took the cover off, then looked inside.

"Now look here boy, see where I'm pointing?"

Wakko nodded. The valve springs, greasy but lined up neatly along the top of the valves. Something was wrong with one though…

"Looks like there's two little springs there don't it boy? Don't fit in with the rest of the picture - all the big springs here."

Wakko nodded. It made sense.

"Now boy, we need to make a trip; gotta find new springs."

_Springs?_

"Why don't we just replace the broken one?"

"Nah boy." With a large theoretical sigh, Foghorn said, "Ford or not, we're not gonna do - I say - we're not gonna do it halfway. We'll do it right. See if your brother'll let you come with me to the parts store."

Wakko nodded again before running toward Yakko. He'd only been to an auto parts store once, again with Foghorn when the rooster had wanted some chrome polish. Foghorn said only a hillbilly ran around with unpolished chrome.

Yakko didn't seem to care when asked, saying as long as he was happy, staying out of trouble, and most importantly not getting in the way he could go anywhere he wanted to with Foghorn.

Delighted, Wakko quickly gave him a hug, surprising both himself and Yakko. He tended not to hug as often; he wasn't a little kid anymore, he couldn't be seen hugging…at least not out in public.

Pulling away quickly he ran back to the smirking chicken.

"I can go! Let's go!"

"Now calm down there boy! You're moving faster than one of Pavlov's dogs heading for a bell. Now then, we made a list before of stuff we're gonna need to do to this jalopy piece of junk-"

"Why don't ya like Fords Foghorn? I read they were OK - someday I wanna get a Mustang or-"

Foghorn reeled back and looked at him like he'd lost his mind. Wakko almost started laughing; Foghorn was so shocked the feathers around his neck were sticking out.

"Why don't I…You're nuttier than a cheese log boy. Fords are big pieces of junk - never run right! Had one truck - jalopy. Made an OK car once; now - pffth," he finished off with a raspberry. "Chevy - always cutting edge; coming up with new techno-whatsits. Ford just waits to see what Chevy does, follows in their footsteps like a stupid pup. Chevy appreciates their customers boy; Ford never does."

Didn't seem like good enough reasons to hate the entire company. He had a feeling it was just some guy thing. Rivalry is what Yakko called something like that.

Foghorn lifted him up into his truck. "Good car to learn on though - got so many problems you'll get to see how to repair all sorts of things. Like they say, 'Fix Or Repair Daily'. Betcha can't come up with something positive for them - you can't - I say - you can't use 'First On Race Day'…hate that one, even if it's right part of the time."

Wakko thought briefly. "How about 'For Off Road Driving'?"

Foghorn sat in the cab of his truck and started the engine while they waved at Bugs and Yakko.

"Cute boy," Foghorn muttered. "'Found On Road Dead'. There. Now then wise guy - try to come up with something for a Chevrolet."

Wakko groaned. Foghorn liked to do that; Wakko always felt that Foghorn was trying to test him or something with these little questions. They were bad enough when he was actually in class; when they weren't in class they were really annoying. Not everything had to be a learning experience did it?

Thinking hard and chewing on his lip he thought about the letters. He wanted to come up with something clever…he really wished Yakko was there. Or even Dot; they were both a lot better at these witty little one liners.

Finally he said, 'Got one!"

"Go on boy…this should be good," Foghorn finished off with a mutter.

"OK. Cheap Hardly Efficient Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time."

Foghorn groaned and Wakko laughed. He hated when Foghorn gave him those little brainteasers. He liked it when he could solve them though. He smirked; he didn't need Yakko there after all.

He settled back into the seat while Foghorn finally began laughing and congratulating him on once again being able to surprise him. Maybe this wasn't too bad, at least he was learning something interesting.

XXXXXXXXXX

September 17, 1993

_Come on Yakko…_

"Ow!" Wakko hissed. "Damn it Dot watch where you put those big feet!"

"Shut up Wakko you idiot!" she hissed back before kicking him again in the cramped dark space, this time intentionally. "And I've got cute dainty feet you moron!"

"Compared to a duck maybe."

Dot was about to retort that his feet were bigger than hers but closed her mouth as she heard a sound and looked up. The briefcase prop was moved and light flooded into the space under the podium where she and Wakko were currently crammed. She looked up to see Yakko looking down at them, his face unreadable.

"You two OK in there?"

"Yeah Yakko; just peachy!" Dot yelled back grinning at him before cutting her eyes to Wakko. At least he was smart enough to grin back at him too, tongue hanging out of his mouth in that goofy way.

They were supposed to be popping out of a suitcase to kiss the fat old man. If she and Wakko were a lot older and had a lot more training they would be able to Chuck their bodies just enough to squeeze in there for a minute. According to Yakko a toon could really only reform or stretch their bodies like that for a few seconds. Some could do it for a little past a minute, but that was rare.

She was years away from learning that skill; even Wakko hadn't really started to learn much about it. Yakko was currently learning it and was the only one who could Chuck his body for something like that, but he couldn't hold it long. The most he had been able to do was squeeze himself into the crawlspace that was under the judge's podium then squeeze himself enough so that with some film manipulation it would appear he popped out of the judge's water glass.

"OK sibs - this is the last section we have to film then we're done. Just hang on a few more minutes all right?"

"OK!" Dot said, hearing Wakko chiming in beside her.

While Yakko was playful and fun, he tended to take his responsibilities on the set sort of seriously. He wouldn't be pleased if she and Wakko came popping out of the briefcase for the scene with their costumes disheveled because they had been fighting. They had filmed this section a thousand times, or what seemed like it.

She fidgeted in the uncomfortable suit she had been put in, a hideous powder-blue number. As ugly as it was, she could pull it off. She was cute enough she could probably pull off vomit orange and still look great though. Even Molly, visiting their set for the day with her mother agreed that Dot looked great. That really just went to show how smart Molly was.

Wakko had also gotten a slightly darker powder blue suit - with pants of course - but it wasn't a great color; if possible it was an even uglier shade than hers was.

She scowled; Yakko lucked out and got dark blue. As bad as Wakko looked in the light blue Yakko had actually looked worse. Costuming had quickly changed his suit to a darker color.

Dot heard the director yell 'action' and heard Yakko begin to speak.

"Allow me to introduce my associates."

"Cut! Yakko, good but say it then jump off the podium. And make sure you put the briefcase down on the opening - Wakko and Dot need to jump out of there and I need that covered. Greg, you're supposed to look annoyed; try not to laugh every time Yakko opens his mouth. Again people - lets wrap this thing up."

Dot let out a yelp as Wakko 'accidentally but probably on purpose because he was being a pain' stepped on her foot.

They had to get out of there before they killed each other.

"Ow! Watch your giant paws Wakko! You about crushed me!"

"You've got feet the size of skies and you tell me to watch it," Wakko muttered.

Annoyed, she used her elbow and jabbed the more annoying of her two brothers in the ribs. She was trying to listen for their cue. She could hear the director talking to Yakko, telling him and Gregory, the man playing the traffic court judge to take the scene over from where Yakko jumps out of the water glass.

She really didn't like this skit they were doing. She had found out from Yakko that it was a parody of some dull show adults liked to watch. She found out from Yakko it came on Thursday nights at ten.

What made her mad was that Yakko knew it came on at ten because he had seen it a few times. Meaning he stayed up to watch it. He pointed out that he didn't choose to stay up and watch it - sometimes he had insomnia - he had no choice but to stay up.

Making her further upset was that he wouldn't let her stay up and watch it. It was past her bedtime he had said. Not to mention he said she probably wouldn't like it.

While she hadn't been able to talk him into letting her stay up to watch it, he had agreed to tape an episode of 'L.A. Law' for her.

She managed to make it about five minutes into the show - including the theme song - before turning it off in confusion and boredom. She chose to ignore the fact that Yakko laughed at her and gave her his smug 'told ya so' look.

Wakko didn't manage to make it that far, wandering into the kitchen to do his homework before the theme song was off. That said a lot; if Wakko was choosing to do his homework rather than watch TV it had to be boring. But, as usual with Wakko, unless there was bright shiny things on the screen flashing at him every second, he just wasn't interested.

She snorted to herself; Wakko was a bird-brain.

"Once more guys! Action"

"Allow me to introduce my associates."

Dot looked up and saw the prop put down on the opening. Exchanging a look with Wakko, they tensed and waited as they heard the hissing of the hydraulics opening the case and starting to lift the platform they were on up. Counting to four they leapt up a few inches, giving the impression that they had just sprung out of the briefcase and Yakko had apparently been carrying them around the entire time.

Landing on the top on the podium and grinning she reached out to grab Greg's face as Wakko did the same, feeling relief that Greg and Wakko weren't laughing this time. A few takes had been blown because one or the other was laughing.

Planting a large kiss on Greg's lips, she grinned and hopped off the podium as he sputtered to stand beside Yakko and Dr. Scratchansniff. She hoped this would be the last time they did this. She hated being close to the doctor after lunch. Wakko was right for once; the doctor always smelled like coffee and Bratwurst. What sort of combination was that? Yakko had told her and Wakko to back off on annoying him so much; apparently he had managed to worm his way into Yakko's good graces beside Ralph.

She wasn't too worried; Wakko and his troop of goofballs still tried to annoy Ralph at every opportunity. Earlier in the week Plucky had shown off his skills with a fishing pole he Fritzed and managed to rip the seat of Ralph's pants off him. While hilarious, no one had shared that prank with Yakko; it was hard to say if he would be annoyed or amused.

"Cut! Perfect! That's a wrap!"

Dot sighed and relaxed. Another skit done. This one was supposed to be aired in a few weeks. Glancing toward her left she could see Molly happily hopping up and down waving at her while Ms. Cunningham watched amused. Over to the side Mr. Bunny stood watching with his customary smile on his face, a smirking Buster by his side. She tried not to scowl; they were there to pick up Wakko so he could spend the weekend at his house. Again. At this point Wakko stayed with his friends more than he stayed home.

She sighed, wondering if Plucky and Max's families missed them as much as she and Yakko missed Wakko sometimes. Other than occasionally when either Buster or Wakko was in some sort of trouble or when Yakko had taken them to see Goose, Wakko wasn't home much on the weekends.

Dot wondered when they were going to go back and see Goose again. She had felt a bit sorry for the lady when they first met her, but despite her handicaps, she still seemed 'spry' as Yakko had called her. She had liked Goose; she let her eat as many cookies as she wanted. Yakko had told her that this was the lady that had given her Cupcake a really long time ago - way before she could even remember and this was the lady that had taught Yakko so much.

And the lady and her nice daughter had begun teaching her how to knit. She really couldn't do much yet except get the string knotted but Goose had said she would show her more when she came over again. Charlotte had shown her a lot of it with Goose doing most of the talking. Maybe she could make Yakko a sweater or something someday. And she was really really appreciative that Yakko and Bugs got her yard clean again and that Foghorn and Wakko got her daughter's car running.

"Great sibs," Yakko said coming toward them and looking at his watch. "And only an hour past when we were supposed to finish."

"You were great you were all great maybe I can get a suit like that too Dot and you look cute Yakko in that blue!" Molly screamed as she propelled herself across the set at them while her mother yelled for her to calm down. Skidding to a stop in front of Wakko she added, "Wakko you look gross and sick you shouldn't ever wear that color again!"

"I'll keep that in mind. Freak," he muttered.

Dot heard him and was about to give him a real kick this time but Yakko stepped in.

"She's not a freak; you do look like some two-bit shyster in a cheap shiny suit," Yakko shrugged

"I didn't want to wear it you know," Wakko grumbled. "You lucked out and got something better. I look like a fairy."

"You're silly Wakko," Molly giggled. "You don't look anything like a fairy - fairies have wings."

"Not that sort of fairy you twit. I'm talking about the funny guys-"

"Ehhhh - cut that statement off now," Yakko said. "And I'm not explaining it so don't even look at me Dot."

Darn. Yakko never wanted to explain some of these comments. Which could only mean they were interesting and 'inappropriate'. She shrugged. She could bribe or blackmail Wakko into telling her later.

"Whatever," Wakko sighed and gestured toward Buster and his father. "Can we go now? They're waiting for me."

"Don't get grumpy Wakko," Yakko said. "I'm sure he'll understand - no doubt Buster's shoots run over sometimes too. Let's get changed, grab your stuff, then you can go. Dot, go get changed so we can walk Molly and Ms. Cunningham out."

"You're such a gentleman Yakko," Ms. Cunningham said as she reached the group and patted his cheek.

Yakko shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes if you have the time anyway."

_Wonder what that's about._

It was the end of the day - past their usual time. Meaning Molly would be leaving. And Wakko. Molly to go home, Wakko to go spend the weekend with his friends.

Dot tried not to scowl as she made her way behind her brothers to the dressing rooms while Molly chatted happily beside her. It wasn't fair. She hated to whine overmuch about it, but it really wasn't. Molly had asked several times for her to come spend time at her house; Webbigail was a frequent guest at Molly's house and wanted her to come over too.

Peeling off the hideous costume, she pulled her own clothing out of the closet and placed it on the chair. While Wakko and Yakko shared a dressing room, she had one to herself. It was a nice room - very small - but comfortable. She shrugged and pulled off the jacket and shirt, standing in her camisole and underwear. Molly was a girl, she wouldn't care.

She heard Molly say something about the pretty flowers embroidered on her camisole before she went back to talking about the shoot. She was still excited because one the stagehands on set took the two of them for a ride in the golf cart the meter maid had driven onto the set earlier. Then she started talking about the Halloween function next month and that they needed to go shopping for costumes and the fact that her own show would be coming back from hiatus soon.

'TaleSpin' had gone into hiatus in the beginning of 1991 on the national circuit. It had done a short season worth of shows for ToonTown in 1992 before going into hiatus early in the year. It was announced that filming of new episodes would begin in late October with a scheduled return to the airwaves in December of this year.

Dot tried to be happy for her friend and not grumble about her own problems. Molly had said a few times that she missed filming her show. She giggled and whispered to Dot that Kit had said the show's renewal had been approved months ago, but that they couldn't go back yet because its star was in rehab. Apparently Baloo liked his good friends Jose, Jack and Jim a bit too much for Disney's taste. Molly frowned before telling her that Kit refused to tell her who they were though.

Dot frowned and added that to her list of things to ask Yakko about. She then scratched his name and added Wakko - she'd ask him first. If she asked Yakko first, he was liable to tell her that she wasn't old enough to know who they were. Wakko rarely told her she wasn't old enough to know something, and if it was something 'bad' he probably either knew what it was or knew someone to ask to find out. If Wakko knew, he'd tell her.

She huffed to herself though, wondering what payment he would want for the information. Hopefully she could help him with some homework or do some chore he had and he'd be happy.

Molly changed gears again to talk about what costume she wanted. So far she had named off witch, pirate, Frankenstein and clown and seemed content to list off any other thing that sprang to her mind.

The function did sound like fun; Yakko had told them about it awhile ago. Even a few of the boys had been talking about it at lunch; Plucky had whispered to her that Wakko and Elmyra were going to dress up as 'Adam and Eve' before Wakko had jumped on the duck and taken a page out of Max's book and started strangling him. She had no idea who 'Adam and Eve' were, but she supposed matching costumes would be cute.

He'd have no trouble going somewhere to get a costume. But because of this stupid contract with the studio she couldn't. She couldn't go anywhere without lots of planning and matching up everyone's schedule. Lisa was busy this weekend - not that she probably wanted to go on a sleepover at the Cunningham household. None of the other chaperones probably would either. She tried not to giggle at the mental image of Slappy's face if she asked her to come chaperone her all weekend at Molly's house.

Pulling her green t-shirt over her head and smoothing it down she glanced at herself in the mirror while Molly continued to talk. She had to snap herself out of her bad mood. Molly would think she was a brat if she didn't. She even looked bratty with the right side of her mouth twisted up in a scowl and her brow wrinkling with her displeasure.

Wakko was lucky; his friend's father was a chaperone. All he had to do was ask and he could waltz away for an entire weekend if he wanted to. She couldn't do so much as get an ice cream cone with her friend without a week's worth of planning. Even with her friend coming to the set for the day she really didn't get to spend much time with her, only at lunch really. She could chat for a few minutes between takes, but that was it. And she couldn't imagine it was that fun for Molly either; what if she decided she didn't want to hang out with her anymore? It wasn't like she could do a lot. She was pretty much at the mercy of a few different chaperones and their own busy schedules.

She decided to try not to sulk too much about it now; Molly would be leaving shortly; there was no sense in taking it out on her. It wasn't Molly's fault anymore than it was her own.

"Dot? Dot? Dot. Dot? Dot!"

Shaking herself from her musings Dot turned toward her friend.

"Sorry Molly, just thinking."

"Oh. About what?"

Dot inhaled, not sure if she wanted to discuss it. Figuring that Molly was her friend she decided to tell her. Molly always told her all about her own problems; some were quite similar to her own; older sibling woes, wanting to do things that they weren't allowed to because of their ages, homework, whatever.

"Just...about the usual I guess," Dot sighed. "Wakko's leaving – again – and I'm stuck on the lot." Looking up and seeing Molly listening to her intently with an unusually serious look on her face, Dot continued. "It's not fair! If he wants to go somewhere it's not that big a problem; his best friend's father is a chaperone – he can just waltz off whenever he wants. He spends so much time at Buster's now his butt's practically taken root there. But no questions, no problems, no matching up schedules. Me? Unless we plan a week in advance we can't even do something simple like go shopping or anything-"

"Good things are worth waiting for," Molly said. "I don't like not being able to go out whenever we want either, but I'm OK with waiting until you can. And we've got plenty of time to get a costume – I promise I'll wait until you can go-"

"It's not just the costume – it's...it's doing anything. Shopping, going to your house, going to see a movie-"

"Remember what I said Dot – it's still better than what could be happening." Molly shrugged. "I don't mind if you can't come over; I know someday you'll be able to. Someday you'll be able to come and go whenever you want. Mommy says there's no sense in crying over something that can't be changed."

"Thanks," Dot muttered as she grabbed her sweater. "I'm just worried, I mean, I know it's not that exciting only meeting up occasionally. I'm always afraid you'll get bored, not want to do anything with me anymore. I mean I know you-"

Molly jumped up and ran across the room, throwing her arms around Dot's neck. Dot tried not to choke; she was in the middle of pulling her sweater over her head when Molly grabbed her and the fabric was slowly suffocating her.

"I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't want to do anything with you anymore because you can't leave the lot all the time when I want. Told ya I don't care," she said, stomping her foot for emphasis.

Dot winced; Molly had accidentally stomped on two of her toes.

"Kit was stuck for years the same way and it worked out for him – it will for you too."

_Suppose that's true._

"You're great Dot! Think about it; cute, smart, funny, your series just went national - I remember when we went national! It was so exciting!" Molly exclaimed.

Dot watched her ramble for a second, Molly's arms still entwined around her neck. She was excited, but Molly got excited about pretty much anything. She could get excited walking across the street.

"I know I know," Dot muttered. "They loved us. And Yakko and Wakko have been approached a few times now for autographs or to pose for pictures. And of course I haven't because I haven't been able to get off the lot-"

Molly glared at her before flashing a smile again. "The reviews - they loved you! Said it was the best thing to come out of Warner Brothers since Merrie Melodies! They didn't even say that about Tiny Toons did they? Nope!"

The reviews had been popular, she couldn't deny that. Yakko was going to need a wrist splint soon if he cut out any more of the reviews from the different papers. Wakko had said he and his group of goofballs had been approached more and more in that mall they liked to go to and were asked to sign autographs or pose for photos.

That did annoy her a bit; why did Wakko and his friends get all the attention? She liked to talk to people and sign autographs and pose for photos too, but again, since she had a harder time leaving the lot she never had the opportunities like Wakko did. Or even Yakko - he left pretty often too, mostly with Bugs who was always being approached by fans.

Dot had been surprised though - their show was being played daily now, in the coveted afternoon time slot. Tiny Toons was their lead in, then 'Animaniacs' was shown. And people really liked them; for the first time since they had met him Plotz had actually seemed halfway pleased - their ratings were incredibly high.

"And everyone loved you," Molly continued. "They said you were like a bright shining star - good voice, great personality, tons of talent. You're gonna get drowned in autograph requests! How can you not think you're special?"

No matter how bad she felt, Molly always knew how to cheer her up.

Dot smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem!" Molly chirped. "Now, anything else you're thinking about cuz I have a question."

Dot shook her head. "Not really, I just think-"

"I get like that to where I can just think but I talk too. Kit says I talk and talk and-"

_No kidding._

"What were you asking Molly?" Dot asked, hoping to get her back on track.

"What? Oh! I had an idea! A really good idea! We should go costume shopping! Together! Whatcha think?"

Dot sighed; Molly reminded her of Wakko – quite smart at times. Other times, downright flaky.

"It sounds like a great idea Molly, but I can't leave the lot remember?"

"Oh, that's right." Molly got a pouty look on her face and propped her chin in her hand. Then she brightened and said, "Maybe next weekend. We can plan for it now!"

"Maybe," she sighed as she pulled open the door to her dressing room and leading Molly out. Yakko and Wakko were already waiting. Wakko wearing his street clothing and holding his backpack was leaning against the wall talking to Buster; both looked annoyed with the waiting.

Dot shrugged to herself. It wouldn't hurt Wakko and Buster to learn some patience; they only had to wait a few minutes.

Yakko, Ms. Cunningham and Mr. Bunny were all talking, Yakko turning to give her a small smile before concentrating on what Mr. Bunny was saying.

Seeing them walking over, Wakko immediately began to look a lot happier. She couldn't help but shoot a small glare toward him. She didn't begrudge him being happy to once again go to his friends but he didn't need to make it so obvious.

"There you are sweetie. I was wondering what happened to you."

"Mommy!"

Dot watched as Molly ran toward her mother. Ms Cunningham swept her in the air before planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Mommy I want Dot to come over this weekend so we can go find a costume for the function I want to be a pirate this year and-"

"Molly, honey we've been over this."

"But Mommy, she's really sad-"

Dot winced; she wished Molly didn't say that in front of Buster and Wakko. They'd make fun of her…

Maybe not, maybe they would be sympathetic, if for no other reason than because Yakko was right there.

Looking at them, she noticed that both had smirks on their faces as Molly continued to tell everyone around her about how sad it made her to see Dot sad. So much for sympathy.

"Watch out Wak, she might start crying," Buster muttered. "Let's hurry and get to the car."

"Yeah, I want to get out of here before she calls the 'waaaaaahbulance'," Wakko muttered back.

Darn. Course they muttered it too quiet for Yakko to hear.

"Watch it Wakko - you'll be whining if I make you stay at the tower."

Dot grinned. They didn't say it quietly enough.

Dot watched as Wakko rolled his eyes, behind Yakko's back and Buster snickered. Ms. Cunningham put Molly down beside her and they followed the others off the stage and across the lot, Molly still happily chatting about Halloween costumes. She wanted to be something frightening.

Dot almost laughed - Molly would never be frightening; she was too cute and cuddly. Dot wanted to be something pretty. Molly was a bit of a tom-boy…sometimes. One minute she was obsessing about accessories and ribbons on her dresses; in the next breath she was talking about a Halloween costume with fake blood and gore oozing from it.

Dot giggled; at least Molly was varied.

Walking in front of her and Molly, Wakko and Buster were deep in conversation about a video game. Meanwhile, Yakko, Ms. Cunningham and Mr. Bunny were also deep in a discussion - Dot lifted her ears slightly; she had made out her own name, along with Wakko's several times. She had also made out other words too; 'represent', 'percentage', publicity', 'never want anything like that to happen again'. She frowned, wondering what they were talking about.

Molly grabbed her hand and said, "It's gonna work out Dot, you'll see. One day we'll be able to go anywhere we want whenever we want and there won't be any of this scheduling and meeting and planning and all this silly stuff." She shook her head. "Mommy doesn't let me go anywhere I want when I want either."

"It's not the same Molly-"

"Close enough," Molly argued back quietly as she started to skip.

Dot struggled to walk quicker to keep up with Molly as she hopped up and down, still holding her hand. Finally, Dot just started skipping too. It was fun and if she skipped as well, Molly wasn't jarring her arm.

Dot saw Wakko and Buster look behind themselves, saw them skipping, and both of them rolled their eyes and started to walk faster, as if to get far enough away from them that they wouldn't be associated with them.

Dot stuck her tongue out at their rapidly moving forms, giggling as she saw Molly do the same thing and Yakko and the two adults continued their discussion.

XXXXXXXXXX

October 14, 1993

_Four years._

Sighing, Yakko leaned back in the kitchen chair, feeling the back bump slightly on the counter. He crossed his right ankle over his left on the kitchen table and looked down at his right hand. Even as tarnished as it was, the gold band between his thumb and index finger still caught the light reflecting in from the living room.

Gone four years. Sometimes it seemed like yesterday. Other times it seemed like it hadn't happened at all.

He continued to look down at the ring. Funny, the other years he had hardly noticed the date, hadn't even given it a second thought really. Though the years between Mom's passing and his present situation had been full of trying to keep everyone safe, alive, fed…He hadn't been overly concerned with the past; it had been enough of a struggle to get through each day.

Now though, even though he was busier than he had ever been with scheduling and lines and rehearsals and homework and the wealth of other things that occupied his day, at night, when Wakko and Dot were asleep he usually had time to reflect.

Sometimes he enjoyed it; he needed a little quiet time after listening to Wakko or Dot babbling in his ear about whatever struck their little fancies. Time to sip on a soda and go over bills or homework or lines or just sit in his own kitchen and reflect on the day.

Sometimes he hated it; the silence and his own thoughts. This was proving to be one of those times.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his left hand and put the ring back in his hammerspace. He shouldn't have pulled it out. The last time it was out had been when Dad had handed it to him and he sat on the couch and attempted to explain to Wakko exactly what had just happened.

Looking back on it now, he realized he hadn't done too bad. Wakko had managed to understand most of what he was saying, though whether that was because he explained it well or because Wakko was a bright four-year-old was up for debate. Maybe it was fifty-fifty.

He had also done a decent job of explaining to Dot what had gone on. She was a quick child, but she was still five. She had the basic understanding of what had happened; he would fill in other details as she and Wakko got older.

Though he had ended up doing a decent job of it, at the times he had talked to either of them he had felt so awkward and helpless. He was a kid himself - how was he supposed to know what to say? He wondered if the adults felt that way, or if it was something you just aged into gradually.

He glanced at the clock; ten-thirty-nine. Luckily both Wakko and Dot were asleep; he really didn't feel like trying to explain why he was in such a melancholy mood to them. Not that he didn't want to, but some things were hard to put into words, even for him.

He had been up since five-twenty-eight. He had to be on set at seven o'clock tomorrow, and he wasn't the least bit tired. He was officially a thirteen-year-old insomniac.

But whether he felt tired or not he should try to lay down. He still had a job to do tomorrow.

Getting up he quietly walked across the living room towards the back of the tower, flicking off the lights as he went, being guided by the dim nightlights and his own innate sense of direction. His usual night-time routine now; before he went to bed he always checked on his siblings. Usually Dot first; he checked on Wakko before he climbed into his own bed.

Yakko opened the door to Dot's room and leaned against the doorframe for a moment watching her as she slept. He could barely make her out in the dim light. She was almost hidden in a sea of pink bedding and the pile of stuffed animals.

She looked quite peaceful, curled partially on her side, her left hand tucked gently under her cheek. The stuffed horse he had bought her months ago at the Lipizzaner performance was clutched in her right arm. Cupcake was crammed between her pillow and the headboard while several other plushes were strewn around her or abandoned on the floor.

He silently padded across the room, moving the blanket back up to her chin. With a slight sigh she snuggled deeper into her pillow and squeezed the poor horse tighter. He was silently happy that Goose and Charlotte had decided to teach her how to sew or knit or whatever - that poor horse was going to have the stuffing squeezed out of it soon if she kept that up.

He was glad that Dot seemed to have taken a liking to Goose and her daughter; she had even asked when they were going back. He had been able to tell Goose had been delighted with the visit; her yard was at least cleaned up enough that she could be wheeled out onto the porch now. Maybe one day they could plant some flowers there; if the interior of her house was any indication, she really liked plants. It would be more pleasant for her to sit on the porch and look out at a flowering yard rather than dirt and dead grass.

And while Dot had relished the attention from the two older ladies, she had seemed to like being over there anyway. He knew she had been feeling left out again; with Wakko disappearing to go off with his friends every weekend and with Lisa having other obligations and being unable to take her to visit Molly, she had been feeling alone and friendless, despite Molly's constant calls and her occasional visits to the lot. He knew she wouldn't be able to visit many more times; her own show would be returning from hiatus soon and she'd have her own shooting schedule to worry about.

He glanced once more over his shoulder at her. Even as young as she was he could see she would resemble their mother a lot when she was older. The high cheekbones, the short sleek fur, a talent for singing and a love of dancing, even a hint of the vanity that their mother had possessed. Though it was only a hint; not enough to be annoying.

She had thrown him earlier in the week when she had announced with a grin what she wanted to be for Halloween; Briar Rose. He had almost fallen out of his chair. She didn't want to be 'Princess Aurora' either, according to her everyone would be dressed as a princess; she wanted to be the 'hidden princess'. While he couldn't deny she'd be the cutest peasant princess there the choice of character had bothered him.

He had done well and not shown it though; Dot wouldn't understand that the choice hurt him more than delighted him. But, like him, 'Sleeping Beauty' was her favorite among the Disney Animated films; he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised that she would want to dress as her.

He took one more look at his sleeping sister before silently closing the door, his mind still working.

He had been discussing with Ms. Cunningham more thoroughly about his hiring her agency to represent them. He was unsure if he liked handing over authority to anyone; he was used to doing everything himself despite if he actually knew what he was doing or not.

On the other hand, Mr. Bunny and Bugs had both said he would be wise to at least consider getting someone to get career advice from; someone not affiliated with the studio who could give an outsider's view of things. He had been surprised at the comments; if he had questions he usually went to Bugs or Slappy, even on occasion Mr. Bunny, who despite being a writer rather than an actor seemed to know what was happening.

All three said he was certainly welcome to continue asking questions and would gladly give any advice they could, but even they occasionally needed to talk to someone outside the studio's influence.

Despite their friendly rivalry, Bugs and Mickey would talk to each other about career moves or up and comers, one finding solace in the other at times due to being the unofficial mascots of each of their studio's animated divisions. Slappy and Scrooge McDuck - two of the unlikeliest friends Yakko had ever heard of - would speak to each other about issues or problems, both being older and dealing with the problems that could occasionally occur with raising younger relatives. Mr. Bunny who controlled his own son's career usually spoke to Bugs if he had an issue or wanted a second opinion.

However, Ms. Cunningham actually represented Buster, Plucky and Babs. As Mr. Bunny pointed out, while none of the three had done any additional work outside of actual filming of their own show, some jobs, whether modeling, acting or spokesmanning could only be got through agents. It didn't hurt to think ahead and have one on retainer.

And as Bugs pointed out, Ms. Cunningham representing them could have an additional bonus; if she was deemed 'fit' she could request to take Dot off lot as a temporary chaperone. He said it was a bucketful of paperwork for someone not affiliated with the studio to get any chaperoning duties, but it was possible. And if she had chaperoning privileges, even temporary ones, she could take Dot. She'd need to be able to escort her client different places. And maybe at some time, she could take Dot for a weekend visit…

Yakko nodded his head. He would probably think about it more over the weekend, but he was certain it would be a good idea, if for no other reason than Dot could - even occasionally - leave the lot to see her friend.

Reaching the door to his and Wakko's bedroom he opened it and looked in.

Wakko was asleep flat on his back, arms and legs splayed out over the side of the top bunk. Bunched at the foot of the bed were his blankets and sheets he had somehow managed to toss off himself. Smirking and shaking his head Yakko smoothed out the bedding and tucked his brother back in before leaning against the bunks to watch him for a minute.

Wakko curled into a fetal position before kicking out, the bedding starting to bunch up at the foot of the bed again and Yakko sighed. Even when he was asleep Wakko wouldn't stay still for longer than a few minutes. Occasionally Wakko would catch a bad case of lazy and then he could be almost sloth like; usually when it came to his video game and television watching time. Mostly though he was constantly on the move. The only time he ever stayed still and seemed perfectly content was when he was playing the violin. Yakko shook his head in wonder; he had always seen his hyper younger brother as a drum player.

He was astonished that Wakko was still holding up his end of the deal. His grades were high and he was sticking to the violin like he was born to play it; Wile had told Yakko last week that Wakko was showing himself to be a gifted musician. Other than a few times when he had gotten lazy he did pretty well learning his lines; he had done his first solo song 'The State Capitals' with flying colors. He'd best start scouting around for a harp tutor soon; Wakko had said the other day he still wanted to learn it.

Slipping out of his shirt and jeans and tossing them onto the dresser he climbed into bed and muttered a curse as he again hit his head on the bottom of the top bunk. Muttering and rubbing his head, he laid back and crossed his arms behind his head.

If he was hitting his head on the bottom of the top bunk now, he couldn't wait to see how many times he was going to hit it as he got older and grew taller. He had already had a small growth spurt; wardrobe had to rehem his pants. His voice had deepened some as well; not much though. He was probably always going to have a higher-pitched voice.

He had to snort at that; Wakko was nowhere near puberty and already his voice was deeper than his older brothers. If nature stayed true to course, by the time Wakko was thirteen he was probably going to sound like an English Barry White.

Meaning the girls would be crawling on him even more than they currently were but unless Yakko missed his guess he figured by then Wakko wouldn't complain about it like he did now. He and a few of the other boys had been crying lately about the girls - and not just the girls on the lot - constantly coming up and pestering them with silly questions.

Apparently Elmyra and Fifi were now driving him crazy about the upcoming function. The only saving grace was it wasn't just him - Wakko and Buster had informed him at lunch that all the girls had completely lost their minds again and wanted to dance and have couples costumes.

Wakko had decided on being a wolfman since no girl in their right mind would want to dress as a movie monster like him. Buster was going as the host of some television show he liked - he was going to be a janitor. Yakko had no idea what he was talking about but since the boy had seemed happy he had finally just smiled and nodded. Max said he was going to be the exact opposite of what he usually was which Yakko took to mean 'not a spoiled pain in the ass' and Plucky said his costume was going to be a surprise.

Molly had rambled off about eighty different costumes to him; she changed her mind three times a day. It was getting to the point that he dreaded answering the phone because he knew it was probably going to be her wanting to speak to Dot about another costume idea but before she did, she wanted his opinion on it. The last he heard she was going as 'Penelope Pitstop' but that had probably changed again.

He still had to come up with something for himself. And the function was coming up quick; slightly over two weeks away. Bugs had already said he'd take him wherever he needed to go to find the perfect costume. Slappy was going to drive them to Lord Park since Skippy was going himself. She said she'd be in one of the tents set up for the adults where they could drink a special blend of apple cider and bob for something better than apples.

He refused to ask her to elaborate on that statement.

He shrugged to himself as he closed his eyes and tried to ignore his throbbing head. He'd figure out something to wear eventually.

XXXXXXXXXX

October 30, 1993

_Why the heck did I choose a wolfman? This stuff's itchy._

Wakko scratched at the fake fur glued to his face again as he followed Yakko and Slappy through the parking area. Behind him he could hear Skippy and Dot giggling at each other and talking; probably about him and his costume. They had both said his costume was too scary. Yakko said he looked appropriately dressed for the holiday. Wakko had been rather delighted with that until Yakko told him he was probably the cuddliest wolf he had ever seen and snapped a picture of him. That had ruined it.

Hearing Skippy say something about 'scary' again, Wakko rolled his eyes; it was Halloween, what sort of costume was he supposed to get - cute and adorable?

_Moron._

He glanced over his shoulder, then quickly looked forward again; they were holding hands and skipping. What self-respecting boy 'skips', even if his name was Skippy?

Dot looked OK in her dress he supposed, some princess he had heard her say, but he didn't pay much attention to it. Skippy looked like a total feeb in his lame Superman suit, especially skipping along beside Dot with his bright red cape flapping behind him. He wasn't going to say another word about it though; the ride over here had been miserable enough.

While Yakko got to sit in the front seat again, the usual seating arrangement, Wakko had to sit in the backseat with Dot and Bucktooth. That was bad enough on a regular occasion; with everyone in costumes it was worse. Dot didn't want anyone sitting on her skirt so she had sat behind Slappy and claimed almost half the tiny backseat so she could spread it out. Skippy had sat in the middle and moved closer to Wakko to give Dot all the room she wanted.

Wakko hadn't cared for that; Skippy's stupid cape was bunching up around him plus his big bushy tail was curled up in his face and it was warm in the back of the car. Not to mention Skippy's tights gave him the creeps. He probably shouldn't have said that; he also shouldn't have said that Skippy's tights were probably something he had hanging around and weren't just part of the costume. That had gotten Skippy and Dot crying to Yakko, who in turn yelled at him.

Wakko frowned at the memory before starting to snicker. Yakko hadn't been too mad but still scolded him, telling him to stop picking on Skippy. Wakko had sulked for a second before getting over it and didn't make a retort. There just wasn't anything to say about a kid dressed in blue tights and crying.

Luckily Yakko had made Dot move over slightly so there was some additional room in the back of the car. And to top it off, Wakko had annoyed Yakko even more by laughing while he was telling him to behave. It was the first time he had been scolded by Yakko while he was dressed as Groucho Marx. When Yakko had inhaled to lecture more, his fake mustache flopped around.

Wakko smirked at his brother's turned back as they reached the entrance to the park; Yakko should have used greasepaint like the real Groucho had. At least then every time he talked it wouldn't move all over the place.

He continued to follow Yakko and Slappy, looking around at the decorations. Aardman District had really gone nuts on decorating the place. He smirked to himself; probably the planning committee for this function wanting to make sure they topped the last function that was held in Wishing-Star District. Plucky had told him it was a pride thing; since each district rotated the functions, they all wanted to be known as the one who held the 'best' functions. Since both Plucky and Buster lived in Aardman, they had both proclaimed it was going to be the best function ever. Wakko didn't care where it was held really; Halloween meant free candy, and he was going to have some too, he didn't care how much it screwed up his glucose readings.

Well, he cared a little. A few pieces wouldn't hurt. And Yakko wouldn't know; he had already promised to take Dot to the 'Boo Bungalow'. And Wakko knew he wasn't going in there; it was for little kids. Buster had already told him they would be riding the 'Haunted Hayride'.

'A Night of Boos' was being held in Aardman District's Lord Park, the largest park in ToonTown. Looking around at the crowd, he decided that was probably a good idea. No way tiny Wishing-Star District would have enough room for all these people; not for an outdoor function anyway.

He supposed 'The Caselotti' could hold them all, but that place was too fancy and it was indoors. You simply couldn't have a haunted hayride indoors and the thought of all the kids dressing up as monsters and running around the shiny marble floors was funny.

Following Yakko and Slappy under the archway for the function decorated with silly looking bloodshot eyes and cobwebs, he looked around for his friends. They should be there already; Plucky at the very least. He lived so close to the park he could see it from his younger brother's window.

He stopped to look around and felt Skippy bump into his back.

'Don't stop Wakko, we wanna get inside," Dot whined.

Shrugging and not looking at her he said, "So go around me; I'm not that wide."

"Your big butt is," Skippy muttered, prompting giggles from Dot.

Wakko chose to ignore that comment. If saying he had a big butt was the best the kid had, it wasn't worth getting in trouble for. Especially since he saw Yakko half turned to watch them as Slappy gave them a wave and began to shuffle off quicker than Wakko thought possible. She had said there was always great hard apple cider there for the adults. He sighed; the adults always got the good stuff. That probably meant the kids got soft apple cider; he wondered what the difference was.

"Calm down you guys. Let's check this shindig out and find everyone. Molly and Kit are supposed to be around here-"

Wakko heard a loud shriek and knew they wouldn't have to look far to find Dot's friend. He looked up just as he saw Molly dressed as a clown or something tearing across the dark thick grass of the park. He involuntarily took a step back; screw headless horsemen and ghosts and vampires; clowns were the scariest damn thing around. Even six year old golden cub clowns.

He hoped no one saw him backing away though; Dot had laughed at him once for being scared of clowns. He knew he was being silly, but they were just creepy. The big fake smiles, the deathly white makeup, the big poofy buttons on the suits.

He'd get her back though; he knew she was scared of the closet in her room.

Molly wasn't quite that bad; her outfit was black and red, though she still had the silly white makeup on. He realized after a second that she was supposed to be 'Harley Quinn'.

Harlequin, clown, jester, mime. Whatever they were called, they were still creepy.

"Hi Dot hi Yakko hi Wakko hi Skippy oh I just love your costume you look just like her Dot and you look nice Yakko what are you a conductor?" Molly gasped out quickly as she arrived in front of the group and panted while Dot squealed and hugged her and Yakko had begun a long winded explanation of his costume.

Further back, in between other toons Wakko could see Ms. Cunningham trying to get to them while yelling for Molly to slow down and waving her arms at them telling them to not move. Lagging behind her was Kit wearing a motocross outfit.

Wakko broke into a grin. That was a cool costume. Though with Kit it wasn't really a costume; Yakko had told him that he rode bikes, then had picked his brain for a bit getting some information out of him since Yakko said he knew Wakko knew more about bikes then he did and he didn't want to look like an idiot.

That had made Wakko feel good; Yakko usually knew everything. And on something that he didn't know - instead of going to look for it in a book somewhere he had come to him. He didn't know a lot about it but what he had known had seemed to please Yakko enough.

"Hey Wakko! Hi Wakko! See me Wakko! Come on look!"

Wakko looked down to see Molly jumping up and down in front of him while the others smirked.

"I see you Molly, um…you look cute."

There, bet that would make her happy. Dot would have died if he told her she looked cute; it stood to reason her friends would be the same way.

"Thanks! Kit said I look stupid-"

"She does, like an overexcited parrot," Kit said quietly to Yakko, who started laughing.

"Kit hush," Ms. Cunningham admonished.

"-but I think I look good! Right Dot?"

"Right Molly!"

"And you look nice too Wakko; like a big fluffy kitty cat! Is that what you are?"

Wakko stared at her for a second before closing his eyes as he heard snickering and laughing around him.

"I'm a werewolf Molly," he said tightly before looking around again, wondering where his friends were so he could get away from her.

_Big fluffy kitty cat…I've got fangs and claws! At least Skippy and Dot thought I was scary._

"Hi Wakko!"

_Oh no…_

Almost cringing, Wakko turned around at the sound of an unwelcome voice.

Hampton. Fun.

Seeing the pig not very creatively dressed as a chef, Wakko sighed and said, "Hi Hampton."

"Gosh Wakko, you look really nice. I didn't know you were coming as a puppy."

Wakko rolled his eyes as he heard more snickering behind him.

"Told ya you looked cute and cuddly Wakko," he heard Yakko say.

"I'm a werewolf Hambone. Look, you seen Buster?" he asked. "Or anyone I actually want to talk to?" he muttered very quietly.

"Sure Wakko," the pig said cheerfully. "Hi Yakko, hi Skippy. Hi Dot, you look really pretty. Briar Rose?"

Wakko rolled his eyes as Dot happily nodded.

Figures, Hampton could pick out a Disney princess from a zillion years ago and couldn't figure out a monster if it appeared right in front of him.

"Uh, Hampton…Buster? Max? Which way?" he asked the pig when he started talking to Molly about her own costume.

"They're over by the 'Boo Barn'. Hold on and I'll come with-"

"No, no - that's OK I'll find them myself. Thanks-bye!"

He started to run off, turning to wave as Yakko called out to him to be careful and to make sure to be at the stage by eight o'clock, the designated meeting place. Wakko glanced beyond Yakko's shoulder, spying them over to the right. Yakko had agreed to let him wander off with the others for a few hours if he was careful, didn't cause trouble and promised to at least try to not eat too much candy.

He was happy Yakko hadn't yelled that last part out. Not too many people knew about his diabetes issue yet. He was grateful for that. Even Dot, usually trying to be a pain to him hadn't told any of her little friends, no matter how mad she got at him. He had a suspicion that Ms. Cunningham might know; Yakko had had a couple long talks with both him and Dot about hiring the bearess to be their agent and manage some of their publicity and stuff.

Dot was beyond thrilled that he wanted to hire her friend's mother and the word publicity was in the sentence. Yakko had sort of hinted that she may be able to take them off lot every now and then too while giving her a look. She had been happy all week at that thought.

Wakko hadn't really cared. He liked Ms. Cunningham OK, she was really nice most times, though she was sort of bossy. But so were a lot of adults. He was happy to leave those sorts of decisions to Yakko; his brother knew what he was doing. If he thought hiring her was a good idea, it was and that was enough for him.

And if it made Dot happy and she could go spend some time with her friend, that was just an added bonus he supposed. She was a pain sometimes, but he usually felt really bad because she couldn't spend time with her friends like he could. And Molly was OK too for a girl. He hoped it worked out and Dot could leave, even if it was only now and then.

He heard Hampton call out for him to wait and he quickened his pace. He didn't dislike Hampton really, but he was sort of boring.

He dashed off through the crowd following the signs the planning committee had put up pointing out different attractions. The 'Boo Bungalow' was near the 'Boo Barn' and the 'Haunted Hayride'. He continued heading through the crowd, dodging tails and paws and feet. Everything from Alice in Wonderland to bloody corpses were wandering around; he even saw a few other toons dressed as werewolves.

Dot was right though; no other girl was dressed as Briar Rose, though he saw no less than fifteen Sleeping Beauties in pink dresses with shining blond hair. And no one else was dressed like Groucho either so Yakko was probably going to win the originality prize. He sort of wished he hadn't changed his mind and had gone as Harpo like he wanted to, though half the people there probably wouldn't have known who he was. Remembering Hampton and Molly's comments it wouldn't have mattered - no one knew what he was now.

"Wakko! Hey Inksplot - over here!"

Finally - no one called him Inksplot except Plucky.

Looking around he spied the duck about twenty feet away, waving his arms and standing by a silly looking display of skeletons dancing on top of a few bales of hay. Beside him was Calamity, dressed in a black and white mime outfit, his face painted in the clown white makeup. Wakko suppressed a shudder, not only at the outfit but at the thought of having to scrub the thick makeup out of fur.

It was sort of funny though in a crazy way. At least Calamity had a good sense of humor.

Wondering what he was supposed to be, Wakko quickly headed toward the mallard. Plucky was wearing a silly brown wig, a long grey jacket with matching pants and a green shirt and holding a wad of fake looking money. And he had three odd looking teeth jutting out of his bill.

Having an idea and starting to laugh he finally reached him.

"Hey Plucky-"

"Hey Inksplot, wondering when you'd show up."

"Got stuck in traffic. Hey Calamity, how ya doing?"

Wakko moved his hands while he spoke, looking toward Calamity and hoping he wasn't fumbling too much. The coyote smiled, nodded, and moved his hands in return, answering 'great thanks - nice dog costume."

Wakko glared at him before sighing. Calamity laughed before signing, 'joking'.

Plucky, who had been watching the signed conversation, staring at Wakko's hands finally looked up at him.

"Where are-"

Wakko saw Plucky do a double take at his costume before bursting out in gales of laughter.

"Oh I just love the costume Wakko, and I know someone else who is gonna love it more."

"What's that mean?"

"Hey man, bout time you arrived," Buster said behind him.

Wakko turned to look while Plucky continued to snicker and signed something to Calamity, who broke into his odd-sounding laughter. Buster was in a stupid looking red jumpsuit with a big 'G' on the left breast. Beside him was Max dressed as what he supposed was a hobo, complete with a stick with a red kerchief tied around it and a stubby cigar dangling out of his mouth.

"Traffic."

Max gave him a nod while gnawing on a candy apple. Then he looked at Plucky and just about choked as he swallowed.

"The hell Duck…is that my costume?"

Plucky grinned and said, "Told ya mine was gonna be a surprise. I decided to go as an asshole-"

"You didn't need a costume for that," Max said.

Wakko watched in uncontained glee as Max angrily regarded the smirking duck, then took his stick and whacked Plucky upside the head.

"Ahh, damn you Max!" Plucky exclaimed, dropping his wad of money and clutching his head. "You trying to give me a concussion mongoloid?"

"Actually…Yes."

Laughing, Wakko turned to Buster and regarded the rabbit for a moment before finally saying, "OK - you told me before. What are you again?"

"Joel Robinson," Buster answered. "The real host," he added, stressing the word 'real'.

Confused, Wakko looked at him blankly.

"Mystery Science Theater? The guy just left last week!"

Wakko continued to look at him and ignored Max and Plucky arguing behind him and Calamity's laughter. Noticing the coyote watching them, Buster began to sign as he spoke.

"Jeeze Wak, we've got to get you up to speed; you always leave on Sunday when we watch what I taped-"

Wakko shrugged. "Not my fault.

"When you're over next time you're gonna sit down and watch Manos."

"Great show inksplot," Plucky said, rapidly moving his hands. "Should have guessed that you didn't get cable on the streets or in the ghetto. Should have tried to pirate the signal-"

"You jerk."

Annoyed even though he realized that Plucky was joking, he snatched Max's stick and smacked Plucky on his head. He watched in delight as he heard the satisfying sound of 'thwack' and saw Plucky drop his fake wad of cash and grab his head again.

"I was joking you overgrown shag rug! Damn it!"

"I know you were joking," Wakko said with a smirk. "So was I. Funny isn't it?"

"OK butt munch, I'm so not telling you a secret you should know. And I was gonna warn you too, but now…"

_Secret?_

Intrigued, Wakko narrowed his eyes at the duck and asked, "What secret?"

Plucky picked up his money as the others watched, Max picking up the signing since Plucky, the unofficial translator of the group was grumbling and rubbing his head while he chased his accessories around. "I'm not telling you - not after that hit Inksplot."

"Tell me or this cane is gonna be used somewhere else-"

"Gimme that back," Max said, snatching it back while Buster and Calamity continued to laugh, the two now leaning on each other. "I can only guess what you plan on doing with it Mime."

"I'm not telling you a damn thing now Wak, in fact…"

With that Plucky started jumping up and down while whistling and shouting. Wakko winced and wondered if maybe he had hit the duck too hard and addled his brain.

"Yo! Over here 'E' - yes you! Yoo-Hoo! Get over here - gotta show you something!"

Wakko turned with Buster, Calamity and Max, hearing the others start laughing as he inhaled.

_It couldn't be…it just couldn't…_

"Hi ya cuddley - ohh Wakko - I like your costume!" She gushed while batting her eyes and giggling.

_No no no…please tell me I'm not seeing this…_

"He specifically went out and got it when he found out you were gonna be Red Riding Hood, right Wakko?"

Irritated, Wakko grabbed the cane from Max and hit Plucky again, harder than before. It didn't improve the situation really, but it helped alleviate a little stress.

"Ouch! Damn it Wakko!"

"Well, this is a pleasant coincidence," Buster snickered quietly. "Hi 'Myra, you look nice."

Wakko looked at her, mostly in absolute terror. Out of all the costumes, she had to pick something that was going to sort of match what he was wearing. First he had to ride in the back seat with Thumbelina and Tiny Tim squeaking at each other. He sort of got Yakko ticked off at him. Then it's Halloween and he can't fill his face with as much candy as everyone else.

Now he was going to hear crap the rest of the night because Elmyra happened to pick a costume that sorta-kinda-but-not-really matched his own. Even though he wasn't the 'Big Bad Wolf'. It was close enough for the others to pick up on.

He really wished he had dressed as Harpo now.

Elmyra didn't look bad, not really. She had on a short green dress with a white pinafore over it, her usual Mary-Janes and white socks on. The long red cape clashed with her hair, but since the hood was pulled up it wasn't that noticeable. She was holding a basket full of small orange and black bags with some sort of food in it. That was the most interesting part of her costume really; he wondered where she got them.

"Thanks cuddly-head! Hi ya cutey," she giggled to Wakko.

He wondered if he ran now if he could escape her. Probably not; she was pretty fast. With the look Plucky was currently giving him he had a feeling the duck would tackle him and try to superglue them together.

"Yeah, it's a great costume isn't it 'Myra?" Plucky asked before glancing over at Calamity, who was grinning and signing something. "Why, that's a fantastic idea!"

_Now what?_

"What's that? Couldn't see his hands," Max said. "I was just enjoying the site of these two - against all odds - dressing in a somewhat couple's costume."

"Shut up Monty," Wakko growled. "My great plans for revenge on the duck can include you too you know."

"Hey, the seeds of love have been sown right before me Wak," Max shrugged.

Before Wakko could retort, Plucky spoke again, Calamity smirking behind him. Wakko glared at the coyote; what'd he do to him?

"The brains of the bunch here came up with a fantastic wonderful crazy idea-"

_Can't wait to hear this-_

"He thinks they look matching enough that they should…enter the couples' contest together!"

Wakko looked at both of them, trying to block out the peels of laughter and shouts of encouragement from the others. He was going to have to kill his friends tonight. It was tragic sure, but it just couldn't be helped. Plucky was first definitely; he'd beat him with the cane since it was turning out to be such an enjoyable experience. Calamity - he was a mime, he'd mallet him a few times. He'd just choke Max.

He cut his eyes over to Buster, who even while laughing was regarding him shrewdly. He noticed Wakko glaring at him and shrugged.

"Why not Wak? You two would look better than the usual bunch of losers up there. How many toons here tonight are dressed as Aladdin and Jasmine or Romeo and Juliet? You two look original anyway."

Damn. He was going to have to kill Buster too. That was really too bad; now he would have to hang out with Hampton.

Elmyra looked like she had just been awarded the care of a whole crateful of puppies and kitties and other cute furry creatures.

Clasping her hands together and nodding her head she exclaimed, "That's a great idea! Oh thank you cutie coyote!" She rushed forward to grab Calamity who looked terrified to be caught in the bone-crushing hug. Plucky and Max quickly stepped away from her as she let him go and he staggered backwards.

Wakko smirked; served him right.

"And Wakko - oh, we're gonna win I just know it!"

"But I don't wanna-"

He tried to back up as he was speaking but he wasn't quick enough and Elmyra caught him in a hug too. He awkwardly put his hands on her shoulders; he didn't want to hurt her feelings and push her away, but he didn't want to encourage this madness to much either.

Besides, the others were still laughing. If he even looked like he was thinking of hugging her back they'd laugh him out of the function. Which might not be bad; at least he wouldn't have to be in the contest then.

Letting him go she said, "I gotta find Babsy! Then I'll get us entered OK Wakko?"

"No! Look, 'Myra - I'm not-"

"Oh, before I do, I made stuff for you guys!"

_Why is this happening to me?_

As the others continued to laugh and make comments, most of them extremely funny to them but not amusing at all to Wakko, Elmyra reached into her basket and pulled out one of the bags she had been carrying around. Wakko hesitantly took it and looked in. A couple of pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies, the tops covered in orange sprinkles. There was also a small plain popcorn ball and a bag of some sort of candy tied off with green ribbon.

"Thanks-"

"You can eat all of it, I checked," Elmyra whispered.

Wakko started and widened his eyes, wondering what she meant. He cast a suspicious glance at her before looking at the others. What did that mean?

There was no way she could know - not even Calamity knew and he talked to him a lot more than he talked to Elmyra.

"Awwww, that was…really sweet Elmyra," Buster said.

Elmyra handed a bag to each of them while Wakko continued to sputter and protest. He glanced at the other bags; they had different stuff; their cookies had chocolate coated bottoms, their popcorn balls had a boatload of caramel coating, and they had M&M's. On the bright side his bag was bigger.

"I'm gonna go find the pink cuddle-head now and get us entered!"

Snapping out of his musings, Wakko yelled, "No! 'Myra just stop! Damn."

She was gone, her red cape disappearing into the crowd of toons and he stomped his foot. Maybe he could hide for the evening. Then find her later and ask her what the hell was up with the stuff in his bag and who told her if she knew.

"Elmyra is a decent cook," Max said in a garbled voice. "She probably had her mom's help, but it's still good."

Wakko turned to look at him. Max had already opened his bag and was eating everything he could get his hands on in it. He was currently shoving the cookies in his mouth.

Wakko shook his head; his tagline in the theme song was 'packed away the snacks' but they really should redo the 'Tiny Toon' theme and give that line to Max. He ate more than anyone he had ever seen. Wakko wondered if he had a tapeworm half the time.

"What's up Inksplot?" Plucky said, turning toward him.

"My foot going up your ass; you started all this," he grumbled.

"Me?" Plucky gasped and tried to look upset at the thought. He failed. "I thought you did by trying to give me brain trauma with that damn cane. And I'm gonna vote for you, don't worry, and tell everyone I can find-"

Annoyed, Wakko snatched the cane back from Max who was busy eating his cookies and talking to Buster and Calamity.

"Oh the places this is gonna go…"

Plucky glared at him and said, "Hit me again and I'll-"

Wakko hit him again anyway. What else could the duck do to him?

Laughing, Max took the cane back and added, "Yeah mime, don't worry, you got my vote too-"

"Damn it Max if you do-"

"You know you got our vote too," Buster smirked, nodding to Calamity.

_Jerks._

They'd all vote, many times probably just to screw with him. He finally sighed, resigned to the entire situation. He supposed if it was any one of them he'd do it too. But like Max was so fond of saying; when you were screwing with someone else it was funny. When someone was screwing with you it wasn't quite as amusing. But at least Wakko could take it as well as dishing it out. Max got cranky when the tables were turned on him.

Forgetting for a moment that Calamity was there, he asked, "Look…did any of you say anything to her? About…you know? My 'problem'?"

Max, Buster and Plucky looked at him for a minute, confused. Then they all shook their head, looking insulted at the thought and protesting.

Wakko frowned at the bag in his hand and absently scratched at his face, wishing again he hadn't used the studio glue. How did the actors wear this stuff for days on end? He was only wearing it one night for a few hours and he was already tired of it.

Maybe she guessed? No, that was stupid. Would one of the chaperones at the studio have said anything? Elmyra would work occasionally with Bugs and some of the others on her show - they wouldn't have said anything would they? Probably not, why would they? Most of them knew that he wanted to keep it quiet.

But what if they had? Would they have told anyone else?

None of the girls knew. He liked Elmyra - heck Babs too. Shirley was OK, though she was sort of flaky. Fifi was nice he supposed though she tended to scare him - always talking about 'la amore' and some silly French stuff while curling her tail around him.

He didn't so much mind Elmyra maybe knowing. He did like her when she wasn't getting too weird on him, but that seemed to happen around the time of the functions mostly. The rest of the time she and Babs usually wanted to run around the lot with them and play games.

Occasionally they would want to read one of their silly fashion magazines. When asked, Yakko had said that was just a girl thing and one day he'd be happy that they studied them so thoroughly though he refused to say more about that subject when pressed.

"Why are you asking?"

Wakko looked at Buster for a moment then handed him the bag Elmyra had given him.

"I got different stuff and she said it was all OK for me to eat. Makes me wonder-"

"Elmyra's a damn twit," Max scoffed. "She could have meant anything when she said that."

"He's right though, still weird," Plucky said.

Wakko nodded. "And if she knows, others might too-"

Buster, looking serious cut him off. "Look, I promise you man, I didn't say anything. I'll vouch for the pinheads," he gestured to Plucky and Max, who glared at him. "They wouldn't have said anything either."

"Then how would she know what-"

_Damn._

Wakko cut off as he saw Calamity, looking curious and a bit left out, peer over Buster's shoulder to look at his bag. He was an idiot, he had forgotten about the coyote.

Calamity looked at him then began signing, asking why he got all different stuff.

He must have seen something on Wakko's face because he shrugged and signed again 'never mind, not my business I guess'. Luckily he was nice enough to sign it slowly and simply. Wakko felt like the guy was having to talk 'baby speak' to him.

Wakko had been taking the additional classes with his siblings twice a week and he was able to somewhat communicate now, especially since the coyote knew he was learning and would always move his hands slowly. Unless he was excited about something; at that point Wakko lost what he was saying and usually Plucky would jump in and translate.

Wakko looked at him for a second. He hadn't meant to leave Calamity out; he was just surprised. He supposed he wouldn't mind if Calamity knew; he liked the boy and he had proven to be a good friend the few times he had been over at Buster's house with them. He was willing to answer any questions about his own condition and seemed to enjoy giving Wakko additional help with learning ASL.

Sighing, Wakko began to fill the boy in as best he could, Plucky jumping in when he didn't know a word, making sure to hold his hands up enough that Wakko could see the movements as well. He had probably learned just as much from Calamity and Plucky as he had from the tutor.

Calamity let him finish before asking a few questions, then stepped forward, his dark eyes locking with his briefly as he put his hand on Wakko's shoulder. Then he signed, 'Thank you for trusting me. I too will promise to not say anything.'

Wakko nodded. Now Calamity and maybe Elmyra knew.

Buster nodded. "All I can say is I hope you trust the rest of us. How Elmyra would have found out I don't know. None of us would have told her. And she's not all bad -"

"Yes she is," Max muttered.

"Shut up Monty. She's not; if you get through to her that you want it to stay quiet…I think she will. I know I have."

Wakko nodded. "I know, sorry, just wanted to make sure."

"Whatever Inky. Now – we're all happy. And you're gonna win a costume contest with Elmyra," Buster laughed as Wakko swatted at his head. "Let's go ride the hayride then find the girls and pester them for awhile."

"And Yakko - I know he's got a camera - I want pictures of this," Max added.

Wakko reached for the cane, intending to hit Max but the boy ran ahead of him. When he got near Plucky he smacked him upside the head, 'for the hell of it' he said when the duck had howled out a demand for why he had done it this time.

_Jeeze_, he thought grumpily as Buster and Calamity began to lead him toward the line for the 'Haunted Hayride' while still laughing about each others costumes and the upcoming contest. _Anyone else finds out I might as well just stand up on the stage and announce it to the entire crowd._

End Chapter 22


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 - Firsts

"So man, what are you suppose to be - Charlie Chaplin?"

Yakko smirked as he walked behind Kit through the crowd of toons, heading toward the area containing most of the attractions. Off to his right he could make out a witch ladling cups of punch to a group of children at a small lean-to decorated to look like a cave.

"Groucho Marx. Meant to say that your costume is so original," Yakko drawled back. "However did you dream it up?"

Kit muttered, "Better than dressing in what Rebecca bought me."

Interest piqued, Yakko asked, "What was that?" When Kit gave him a look Yakko pressed him, knowing it had to be something good. "Oh come on, you can tell me…promise I won't laugh."

"I don't believe that for a second."

_You shouldn't either._

"Come on man, I need the lau - I mean I wanna know," Yakko said, trying to put a bit of a wheedling tone to his voice. It always seemed to work for Wakko and Dot.

Kit finally sighed and muttered, "A pumpkin. A big pumpkin fat-suit with a orange cap with a green sprout sticking-"

Yakko threw his head back and began laughing loudly, ignoring the looks of the curious toons directly around him and the other boy's glare. The mental image of Kit in a big round orange suit with just his furry head sticking out the top was simply too good not to laugh at.

"Thought you promised not to laugh."

"I lied," Yakko shrugged. "If it was me you'd laugh too."

After a second, Kit grinned. "True. I love her, she's given me a lot of opportunities that I would never have had if she hadn't decided to go through the process of getting custody of me, but I think she still thinks I'm a nine year old…I don't think I would have worn it then either."

Yakko nodded, feeling a little sympathy for him. "Trust me, Wakko's almost nine and he'd rather gnaw his own arm off than wear a pumpkin costume."

"At least he's got taste."

"You'd like to think that. I've had to watch him eat and therefore know better."

Yakko continued to walk beside Kit, trying to avoid bumping into too many other toons running around the function as they talked. While many of the attractions and displays were a bit young for him he was actually enjoying himself.

Kit had dragged him off shortly after they had met up to have some guy time. Ms. Cunningham had asked if he would like to go off on his own with Kit for awhile anyway. She would escort Dot and Skippy along with Molly to some of the attractions designed for the younger children.

Dot looked like her birthday had come a week early and squealed in uncontained excitement, practically begging him to let her go. Molly was hopping up and down cheering, the bells on the hat of her jester suit jingling. Even Skippy was hopping up and down so quickly that Yakko had feared that the wind would catch the boy's cape and drag him away.

Webbigail, dressed as Sally the Rag Doll from that new movie Dot wanted to see had shown up escorted by her parents whom he had been introduced to. This seemed to be the entire group Dot was waiting for and was so excited she caught a case of the 'Mollys' as he had started calling it and just happily babbled about nothing.

He had intended to spend some time with Dot and escort her to a few of the attractions himself, but quickly realized several things, the first being that Dot hadn't had so much as a Pez and was already as hyper as Molly. If the evening went as he saw it going, she was going to be on a sugar high to rival anything Wakko ever had done. Skippy would probably be in the same condition. What Molly would be like by the end of the night was unthinkable.

He himself wouldn't mind spending at least a little time not being the oldest watching out for the youngest. A few hours being a typical teenager hanging out with another typical teenager sounded like a vacation. Hell, it had been fun at the last function. Plus Kit was gesturing at him wildly behind everyone's back, mouthing things like 'come on' and 'got someone for you to meet' and 'you owe me so big Warner'.

The biggest factor in his decision was that Dot should be allowed to spend some time with her friends. She would be well supervised; Ms. Cunningham would watch over Dot as well as she watched over her own daughter. Skippy too, though the boy never seemed inclined to run wild. Opie could cause more trouble than this kid.

Not to mention, Ms. Cunningham should see what it was like to deal with Dot without him around. The agreement had been reached, contracts signed and a check given. At this time the Warners were being represented by Ms. Cunningham herself, if and when they ever needed her services. Mr. Plotz had been approached while he was in one of the upsides of his manic mood swings, and he agreed to at least begin to consider Ms. Cunningham as another studio sanctioned chaperone.

His good mood wasn't enough though that he agreed to consider it anytime soon, but Ms. Cunningham had shuffled him out of the CEO's office before he could ask. Even as short a time as she had known them all, apparently his reputation preceded him. He did indeed have a talent for angering the man. He could only assume she wanted to get him out of there before he began to do it unintentionally.

He had talked to Dot briefly giving her the same instructions he usually gave Wakko; he had a feeling she would probably obey them better though. He had barely finished talking before he was dragged off by Kit who seemed to be a bear with a mission.

Yakko found himself really liking the guy; he was friendly and tried to include him in his plans at least while they were at the functions, no doubt like himself liking the idea of having another guy his age to associate with. Kit would routinely talk to him once or twice a week, usually after Molly and Dot were done chatting to exchange news.

Yakko had gained a newfound respect for Kit when he had informed him one night several weeks back that he had been in contact with Goose, had even been to her house several times, and she had wished him to pass along a 'hello'. Kit had practically demanded her address from him and said he was at least going to write her a letter; maybe even see if Rebecca would drive him out there one day.

Yakko knew she would like that; going from having no visitors to several in the span of a month.

"Let's go Warner," Kit said, walking a bit faster. "I was supposed to meet her already. I didn't think we'd ever get away."

"OK, let me in on the secret. Meet who?"

"Elke - girl you saw me making face with at the last function. Rebecca doesn't…approve," he finally said. "Thinks she's too fast and loose." Kit shrugged, "One of the reasons I love her I guess."

"What, you dragged me along as a cover for your make-out session?" Yakko asked, annoyed.

_Kit just shot down a notch on the respect-o-meter. _

"Yes, but there's more to it than that. She's got a friend that was coming along, said she's nice and pretty and just broke up with her boyfriend. She's sort of upset. I told Elke to bring her along for you to meet."

Yakko rolled his eyes and grimaced before slowing. He had heard enough; usually if someone was described as 'nice' and 'pretty' and was being brought along it almost always meant the girl in question was 'boring' and at best 'plain'. He was going to have to entertain some girl that probably resembled Witch Hazel when not in costume.

_Lovely._

"Kit, you just went down several more notches on my respect-o-meter. If you agree to let me out of this now, you might still salvage-"

"Quit complaining you baby-"

_Baby?_

"-Elke doesn't have ugly friends."

"Elke? Sounds exotic."

"Family's German."

"I still don't want to be set up with one of your girlfriend's plain-jane-"

"Yeah, OK Warner, I set you up with a hot babe and you complain. Besides, you obviously didn't have much luck after that skank Evelyn."

_Knew I shouldn't have told him about that situation._

"I've seen no less than twenty girls in a wide variety of costumes I had planned on introducing myself to. I don't think I need to have you setting me up."

"Oh come on Warner; Elke wouldn't agree to come unless I said I would hang out with her friend or find a friend to hang out with her and you-"

"Aren't interested," Yakko snapped, annoyed. "Get her a puppy if she's so ugly she can't keep a boyfriend."

"The guy was screwing around on her."

Yakko cocked one eyebrow, not impressed. If the guy was screwing around on her it just confirmed his belief that the girl was probably not that attractive. Not that he was shallow or anything. No, he wasn't shallow, the girl didn't necessarily have to be drop dead gorgeous; it just helped a lot if she was.

He looked at Kit. The bear looked almost desperate as he scanned the crowd around them.

Finally Yakko sighed reluctantly. "Fine. I know she's probably not that attractive. Is she at least halfway intelligent? Can she carry on a conversation for longer than three minutes?"

"Oh come on Warner, just meet her. She's not a blond-"

"Then I'm usually not interested," Yakko muttered.

"Kit? Kit!"

Yakko turned with Kit at the shout to see Elke, or what he presumed was Elke waving at them from across the field, closer to where a small fire was glowing, several adults standing by and helping young children toast marshmallows over the flame.

Kit got a goofy look on his face and Yakko sighed, wondering when Kit's pupils were going to turn into heart shapes. The bear shouldn't make it so obvious. He liked Kit; he'd help the guy out, he was apparently -in his own unique way - trying to help him. He resolved to meet this no doubt ugly friend of Elke's, make nice for awhile and then try to slip away as quickly as he could.

Elke turned behind her and then began to quickly come toward them and he was able to put the face together with the girl from the last function. Yakko took an appreciative look at her; Kit may be a nut sometimes, but the guy did have taste.

Elke was a ravishing girl; a trim perfect body currently encased in one of the smallest dresses Yakko had ever seen. It looked roughly about the size of something Dot could wear. He supposed the long gauzy see-through cape Elke had could be some inadvertent attempt at modesty, but it failed.

He was rather thankful for that. He glanced at Kit then shrugged; if the girl was willing to show off, he'd give her an active audience. From what he could see, the other guys in the immediate area seemed to feel the same way he did because more than one neck craned around to watch the bearess sashay toward them.

He felt Kit nudge him.

"She's something else huh?"

"Yeah, I'll say," Yakko muttered back. "What's she supposed to be?"

"Vampire." Kit wrinkled his muzzle momentarily. "Long as she takes the fangs out."

Yakko smirked before saying, "Like you're going to care about that when she starts nibbling on your neck."

"True."

Elke finished her strut across the crowd and finally reached them. With a nod to Yakko she threw her arms around Kit's necked and shared a long passion filled kiss while Yakko crossed his arms and smirked. Hopefully they would finish sometime in the next hour and show him the monstrosity he was supposed to be escorting around-

"Hola."

Startled out of his thoughts, Yakko turned to see who had just spoken in his ear.

He barely managed to keep his tongue in his mouth while hoping that this was Elke's friend. He was unable to keep his eyes from quickly traveling the length of the fox girl's body though. And her body was just as trim as Elke's and she appeared to like the same store too if the short black leather dress she was wearing was any indication. The long black cape she wore was loosely flung over her shoulders, falling well past her knee high black boots and trailing close to her ankles.

Perhaps two inches taller than him, she gave him a small smile as she continued to gaze at him through her narrow jet black mask. A large black _caballero _completed her look, perched at a jaunty angle on her head, her long black hair cascading down her back.

Normally he was attracted to blonds. In this case he'd make an exception.

With a small smirk at him, she took the blunt-edged prop rapier she held and pointed it at him, pressing it lightly into his chest.

Fine with him; she could carve a 'Z' in his chest if she wanted to. She could do whatever she wanted to him.

"¿Usted es el amigo Kit sí?

_Amigo. Kit. Si._

"Uh…yeah…amigo. That's me."

_Kit's a genius, I'm a total moron._

"¿Usted no habla español?"

_I have to learn Spanish. Immediately._

Shaking his head as he quickly translated what few words he knew he answered, "No. I've been looking for a teacher though - interested?"

_Please please please know English._

"I can speak English. My name is Sabina. I am a friend of Elke's. You are Kit's friend, yes?"

Kit. Yes, Kit was his friend. Hell he was now Kit's biggest fan.

Nodding his head he turned to glance at his new hero who at least was done greeting his fräulein with his tongue and was now smirking at him.

"Told ya it wouldn't be too bad Warner. Show her what you got under that stupid frock coat."

"Probably a hell of a lot more than you have under your jumpsuit," Yakko shot back, amused.

Kit was too apparently because he started laughing.

"Hey, it's better than escorting around the rug rats for a few hours. Let's go explore for a bit."

_Fine by me._

"Kit, I want to dance," Elke said. "There are dancing areas by the stage."

Yakko winced. Elke was hot, no denying that. She stayed that way if she didn't open her mouth; her voice was as shrill as a train whistle. Luckily Sabina's voice was low and warm, very pleasant to listen to, especially with the slight accent.

With a theatrical sigh, Kit put his arm around Elke's waist and said, "Anything for you babe. In awhile though…a long while," he added with a grimace.

_So Kit doesn't care for dancing. Can't blame him._

Sabina nodded and turned back to Yakko. "You are Groucho."

_I love this girl already. Any girl that knows about Groucho is a prize._

Nodding, Yakko said, "Good eye Zorro."

She gently reached over and pulled his mustache up a bit. "Much cuter than the real Groucho."

"Probably a lot more pleasant to be around too."

"You have a name, or do I stick with Mr. Marx?"

"Yakko."

"Warner?" She questioned. When he nodded she smiled wider. "I enjoy your show. Your bother and sister are here too?"

"Wakko is running around with his friends, Dot is with hers."

"Perhaps you can introduce me later, yes?"

"Sure, no problem. You wanna go check out the hayride, or check out the games? Maybe create one of our own?"

"I'd like that. Elke? Kit?"

Yakko turned as she called their names. Both had gone back to making out, right in the middle of the crowd, Kit's arms still around her waist, Elke's arms thrown over Kit's neck. Yakko shook his head.

"Real subtle Kit. I can't imagine why Ms. Cunningham was worried."

Kit turned his head briefly to smirk at him and said, "Subtly is my specialty. Look Warner, let's take the ladies here, grab something to eat, have a couple of dances before we maybe split up, you know…attend to some other business?"

Yakko started laughing at Kit when he wiggled his eyebrows at him. And he was the one getting the reputation as a girl-chaser. Not that there was anything wrong with that. But it was funny to see the normally adorable Kit Cloudkicker, so innocent and well-behaved on his series making face with a girl in the middle of a Halloween function.

"Sounds good." Putting his right arm around Sabina's waist and smiling at her he said, "I wouldn't mind getting something to eat and maybe attending to some business."

Sabina grinned back at him, flashing a set of pearly white teeth at him. "You are far too cute to say no to. Tell me Yakko, do you like Marranitos?"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Come on Skippy I know you can do it!"

Dot cheered and jumped in the air, momentarily forgetting that her skirt was poofy enough it would catch air. She smoothed it down but continued to cheer as Skippy, hands clasped behind his back bent down to the trough. After a moment he stood again, this time with an apple clutched in his mouth.

Beside him were several children attempting to do as well as he was, including Molly. She was frantically chasing an apple as well, but since she was still talking as she bobbed into the water to reach it, all she was really doing was partially drowning herself and washing off most of her face makeup. Dot laughed at her, hearing Webbigail beside her joining in as she held her wig on her head.

Webbigail had decided to dress as a rag-doll like the girl from 'A Nightmare Before Christmas'. The duckling said it was her new favorite movie and her mother had helped her make a patched dress and draw lines on her arms and legs and face to make herself look like the sewn together rag doll. She did add that getting the greasepaint off her feathers was going to take some scrubbing.

Dot glanced behind her briefly; there was a tent next to the apple bob where most of the adults were. A few were watching the apple bob, handing out small prizes to the kids who could get the most apples out in a certain time. Skippy was currently winning.

"Oh faboo, knew Bucktooth would kick everyone's ass at the apple bob."

_Darn it._

Annoyed, Dot inhaled, already recognizing the voice and the idiot catchphrase. How could she not? Ninety-nine percent of the time, if she was mad it was this…idiot…who was doing it.

"Go away Wakko," she growled. She turned to see that Wakko had his gang of goofballs with him, minus Buster. And they were all with a few of the girls too.

Mary Melody, dressed as a cat was standing beside Max in the silliest looking hobo costume she'd ever seen. Plucky was standing next to Wakko, who was scratching at his face like he had caught fleas. She had no idea what Plucky was supposed to be, but beside him Shirley was dressed as a cheerleader.

She didn't know if she could respect the girls or not. What girl would want to hang out with these boys? They were all gross - burping and playing video games. Dummies.

"Go away and take all your friends with you."

"What, and miss Skippy cheating?" Max asked. "You know it's not fair for him to be playing - those big teeth can spear any of the apples in there."

"Apple bobbing, right," Plucky said. "Him and the hyperactive bear are probably kissing in the water. Hey Dot, better go over there and break them apart before you lose your boyfriend."

Dot balled her fist and glared at all of them as the boys laughed while Mary and Shirley glared at them.

They had been having a good time. They had toasted some marshmallows, gone through the 'Boo Bungalow' where everyone found out Molly had an almost unholy fear of mummies and played a few other games before deciding to play at the apple bob competition. They had gotten to eat their fill of candy; right now she was so wired she could barely hold still. She could feel Webbigail fidgeting beside her.

Normally she didn't go overboard on candy, not wanting to really shove it in Wakko's face that she could eat a lot of stuff he couldn't. It didn't seem to make him upset or feel bad, not like it used to when he first found out, but she thought maybe he was better at hiding it now. But since Wakko had run off with his friends and Yakko had gone off with Kit, she had decided to eat as much as she wanted. She now knew she adored Twix; she had even hidden a few extra in her hammerspace.

She couldn't tell Yakko that though; he'd probably be upset if he knew. He was always worried about her damaging the entrance way; he had told her a long but fairly interesting story about some silly criminal that had accidentally wedged his open when he robbed a bank years and years ago.

As it was Yakko was undoubtedly going to make everyone brush their teeth for twenty minutes. He had developed a worry about cavities all of a sudden.

Webbigail's parents were very nice and seemed to be good friends with Molly's mother. She wished they were around and not in the tent; Wakko and his monster friends wouldn't dare pick on them with an adult around.

But none of the adults were around, and now her stupid brother and his stupid friends had to come over and try to spoil everything. Luckily Skippy and Molly hadn't heard them yet.

"Hello Wakko," Webby greeted them, turning her heavy-lashed eyes toward them and staring him down. "Have to scrub the floor lately?"

Wakko scowled at the duckling as everyone started laughing and Dot exchanged a grin with Webbigail. Dot smirked at his annoyance. If he wanted to be a pain they had a right to defend themselves.

Plucky, while seeming to enjoy Wakko's annoyance also jumped in to defend him.

"Wakko doesn't know as many words as I do, trust me. Tell me Dot, you kissed Skippy yet?"

"Shut up Plucky!" Dot growled. "Go away before I-"

"Cry on me?"

Dot felt her face wrinkling in anger. Why did boys have to be jerks?

"Come on fellas, like, lay off," Shirley chirped. "This isn't why, like we came over to this place. But the apple bob - gag."

"Apple bob - boring," Max said. "Where the hell are Buster, Calamity and the girls?"

"Why don't you try it Max?" Plucky asked while pointing to the trough. "Your mouth's big enough to do well at it."

Dot watched in amusement as Mary yanked the cane out of Max's hand before he could respond and hit Plucky over the head. She almost fell on the ground laughing as the duck howled in pain and dropped the wad of fake money.

_Fake money. The goofy looking outfit…was he dressed as Max? _

Dot started laughing, struck by the humor of the outfit. She wished she could have been there when Max first saw it.

"Damn it Mary, you two-bit day player," Plucky yelled. "What the fu-"

"Problem here boys?"

The entire group jumped and turned as one as Ms. Cunningham appeared behind them, arms crossed and with a smirk on her face.

"No," they managed to trill as one while Mary and Shirley smiled at the woman and exchanged a few pleasant words.

Dot exchanged a pleased look with Webbigail. The boys would be chased off and they could get back to having fun.

"Look, there's adults here Wakko, see?" Max asked. "She'll be fine. You played big brother for the evening, can we leave now?"

_Playing big brother…_

Dot's annoyance with her brother started to melt. He may have been trying to be a pain, but at least he was over here with some motive besides being a jerk. He was checking on her. Every now and then Wakko could step up to the plate and show he had some responsibility even if he did do it in a round about way.

"Yeah yeah, OK, gimme a minute," Wakko grumbled before coming over to her. "Look, I wanted-"

"What's wrong Wakko, don't want your friends to know you dressed as my over-protective guard puppy?"

"Shut up brat I was trying to tell you something," he grumbled. "I was checking because Gosalyn and her fat friend were running around over here. Buster and Calamity are outside with Babs and Elmyra getting rid of them." Crossing his arms and scowling he said, "See if I help you again."

Dot smiled. Every now and then Wakko wasn't a total pain in her tail. Even though Gosalyn and her gigantic friend probably wouldn't try anything with so many of the adults around, Wakko still took time out of his busy schedule of goofing off to come check on her.

Delighted she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a hug which he half-heartedly returned.

"Oh thank you Wakko; even though you're an idiot you manage to surprise me every now and then."

"Yeah, great thanks-"

"Oh Wakko? Lover boy?"

Sighing Wakko turned to glare at Buster, who had come in the tent unnoticed and was now tapping him on the shoulder. She wondered why his ugly red outfit had a big 'G' on it.

"What boy blue?"

"Don't get cranky. Me, Calamity, Babs and your lady-love chased her and lard-ass off; they even had a couple of friends with them that were willing to mouth some bullcrap before they ran off. Elmyra managed to get you two registered too."

Wakko smiled, nodded thanks then stomped on Buster's foot while Dot and Webbigail laughed as the rabbit jumped around and muttered several curses at him. Behind him stood Babs in a baseball uniform. Dot surveyed it for a second; it looked like a boy's costume, but on Babs it worked. She actually looked cute in a tom-boyish sort of way.

She snickered at Calamity's costume, amused. Then she saw Elmyra and her face split into a grin.

How adorable, Little Red Riding Hood. And as she came to stand beside Wakko, who looked like he just swallowed an entire bucket of sauerkraut, Dot thought they looked cute together. A big goofy wolf and Red Riding Hood. No wonder Wakko was cranky.

"Registered for what Wakko?" She asked. When he didn't answer she tried to press him. "Come on Wakko, you can tell me."

"Never mind, we're leaving-"

"Oh, didn't he tell you?" Plucky asked. "He and Elmyra are now entered in the best couples costume contest. I think-"

_A costume contest? With a girl?_

Dot smiled, Wakko would hate that. She'd have to find Yakko and tell him though; he'd be upset if he missed a photo opportunity. She herself would be upset if he missed it because she couldn't get yet another picture in her collection of 'photos to embarrass her brother when he was being a pain' collection.

Wakko grabbed the cane out of Max's hand and hit Plucky over the head again.

"Wakko you asshole!" Plucky howled, grabbing his head again.

"Young man, we don't need that sort of language in here!" Ms. Cunningham snapped, coming to them and abandoning her conversation with the girls.

Dot noticed Wakko and the others slowly inching away from the duck while Ms. Cunningham lectured and they began to laugh as Plucky looked slightly chagrined.

Was this what boys did for fun, hit each other and try to see who could get the other one in the most trouble? Thankfully Skippy wasn't like that; he was a lot like the girls…maybe that's why the others picked on him so much.

She turned to look at Skippy, who had just finished taking the last apple out of the trough. Molly looked like a murdered harlequin with her face makeup ruined, her jester hat twisted and bits of apple peel stuck to her face.

Skippy though was looking quite pleased with himself as he accepted the congratulations of several children and adults around him. She nodded, he apparently had won. She watched as Skippy pointed to the shelf holding some prizes and the human toon dressed as Dracula reached up to the shelf and pulled down a small white unicorn.

Molly, brushing apple pieces and water off her fur spotted the group and came running toward them.

"Hi everyone!" she screamed. "I didn't win the contest but Skippy did and you all look so great in your costumes and oh I know what you're supposed to be Wakko you're a puppy like Toto and Elmyra you're supposed to be like Dorothy because you got the basket right? How come you don't have a leash for him huh?"

Dot leaned against the wall of the building and laughed, not able to hear herself over the roar coming from the rest of the group as everyone began to guffaw at Molly's comment and Wakko's stunned expression.

"I told you I'm a werewolf! How much sugar have you had tonight Molly? You're more obnoxious than normal," Wakko snapped.

While everyone continued to laugh and asked Wakko to obey such commands as 'sit' and 'roll over' and asking if he thought he would win best in show, Skippy came running over to them, cape flapping behind him and his legs practically a blur he was moving so fast.

Skidding to a stop in front of D,ot Skippy thrust the small plush in her hand while saying, "I won this for you Dot! I know you like unicorns and I wanted to win this just for you."

"Oh, how sweet of you Skippy, thank you!"

Reaching over to hug her friend, she heard Wakko and the others start laughing or making gagging noises. She appreciated them coming to watch out for her but they could leave now.

"Don't kiss him Dot," Buster advised. "He's got bits of apple in his teeth; I can see it from here."

"Shut up Bunny!" Skippy yelled. "I'll tell my Aunt Slappy!"

Buster shrugged. "Ask me if I care."

"Be careful rabbit," Wakko said. "The arthritic old squirrel can swing a cane…I know…"

"You shut up about my Aunt Slappy!"

"Lay off guys, we didn't chase off those other bullies to act like them ourselves," Babs said.

"Ease up Pinkie, we're just playing," Wakko said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

"Go away Wakko and take your dumb friends with you," Dot said. "I'm now pleased with you, don't destroy that."

"Oh come on," Plucky said from behind them, finally getting away from Ms. Cunningham and her scolding tongue. " Before we leave why don't ya give him a big thank you kiss?"

"You don't learn do you?" Dot hissed. "I'll hit you too!"

"You can't hit me on the head," Plucky answered easily. "You're not tall enough."

That was true, but she could kick him. Before she could do that though, Elmyra the space case came to her rescue. Dot watched in stunned amusement as Elmyra took Max's cane and hit the mallard on the head, though not with the force Wakko and Mary had done.

"Ow! The hell girl?"

"Everyone else was doing it," she shrugged. "And I wanted to help my fuzzy-head's cuddly little sister out."

"I'm not your fuzzy-head Elmyra, please just stop," Wakko sighed while Plucky muttered obscenities. "And I gotta talk to you anyway-"

"Ok cuddly-head!"

Wakko groaned and Dot remembered what Plucky had said earlier.

"Oh yeah, Wakko…when's your little contest?"

"Don't worry about it-"

"It's at seven-thirty on the stage near where you came in at bye!" Plucky yelled as he ran out of the tent, Wakko chasing after him angrily.

With a final wave the others followed them out, Elmyra handing out small bags of treats from her basket to everyone before calling for them to wait for her and Calamity coming forward to kiss each girl's hand. He even shook Skippy's being rewarded with a smile as wide as the ocean for his effort.

_At least one of Wakko's friends was a gentleman_, Dot thought as Molly giggled at Calamity's 'trapped in a box' routine before he too disappeared out of the entrance of the lean-to.

"Molly, honey, look at your make-up!" Ms. Cunningham exclaimed upon catching site of her daughter. Kneeling down in front of her she added, "Come here so we can wash the rest of it off, you look like a ghoul."

"Can I put more on?"

"Sorry pumpkin, I didn't bring it with us. Besides you look cute without it."

"OK, can I have a candy apple instead?"

"I think you've had enough sugar."

"Ms. Cunningham, can we find Yakko?" Dot asked while Ms. Cunningham scrubbed at Molly's face. "I need to tell him Wakko's in a costume contest! He'll wanna see."

Ms. Cunningham nodded. "Oh course sweetie. We'll find him in a few minutes Ok? In the meantime let's find Webbigail's parents so we can keep the group together and we'll go to the 'Boo Barn'. The older children will be over there closer to the hayride anyway."

Dot nodded. She really did want to see the contest and Yakko would as well. If Wakko was that reluctant to tell her, she was positive he hadn't told Yakko.

Molly's face now clean she let out a 'whoop' and ran out, Ms. Cunningham hurrying after her. Dot felt Skippy grab her left hand while Webbigail grabbed her right and they all skipped out after them.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I'm glad she's a good kisser so she can distract me from the hay going down my pants._

Yakko fidgeted on the haystack he and Sabina were currently occupying while his left hand played with her hair and they both ignored the screams of fright and shouts of laughter coming from the other side of them as another group of children rode past on the hayride. Sabina was a genius, finding a good make-out spot right in the hayride - it would never have occurred to him.

The last three places he had chosen and they had been shooed out by one adult or another, the last one embarrassingly enough by Slappy, who had emerged from the chaperone tent to check on her charges. She had also Fritzed a bucket of cold water to dump on both him and Sabina, surprising both of them and almost killing the mood.

Almost. It came back as soon as Sabina came up with the clever idea of hiding in a haystack near the beginning of the hayride. At some point he should probably go and check on Wakko and Dot…they would be OK for a few more minutes. It had only been an hour and a half since he had seen them.

It had been an enjoyable evening so far though. Sabina Alba de mi Angustia was pretty, bright and as good a conversationalist as she was a kisser. He didn't know what guy was screwing around on her, but Yakko was secretly delighted he had. If that shumck hadn't made such a grievous error, Sabina wouldn't be available and his evening would have been ruined before it even begun.

After getting something to eat with Kit and Elke and sharing a few dances with Sabina the couples had agreed to split off for awhile to 'attend to other business' as Kit wanted to put it. Yakko hadn't minded that much, he was anxious to get to know Sabina better and she hadn't seemed to object to the idea either.

Through their chats Yakko had found out that both her parents were from _La Ciudad de Historietas_, Mexico's city of toon folk. While the American city of ToonTown was flourishing, _La Ciudad de Historietas _was not. Small and cramped, there were hardly enough jobs for them all.

Her parents had immigrated to ToonTown almost five years ago when Sabina was nine to start their own restaurant and catering business. In fact, much of the food at the functions were catered by her family. And Sabina had her own sibling woes, having two younger sisters herself that were running around somewhere at this function.

They had shared quite a few interesting conversations actually. Sabina liked the same music, had a respect for the old comedies that almost rivaled his own and was taking a similar class load, though none of her tutors were famous toons. She also was a skilled flamenco dancer.

Breaking off the kiss, Yakko looked at her as she began to laugh at him. He frowned; his kissing wasn't so bad it was laughable was it? Hell, Evelyn hadn't complained.

"What?"

Sabina pointed at her lip. When he continued to look at her in confusion she reached into a pocket on her dress and pulled a small mirror out. Looking in it he saw that his mustache was crooked. He yanked it off, wishing he had decided to paint the stupid thing on. He had a good feeling that was why Wakko had been laughing at him before; he knew it had been flopping around when he talked.

"Do not ever grow a mustache," Sabina said, taking his face in her hands gently. "Your face, it is much too handsome to hide behind extra hair."

"Promise."

Leaning in to kiss her he heard some giggling and laughing and sighed.

_It just couldn't be them. It just couldn't be. I'm hearing this…_

"And then I told Yakko he should definitely get an ointment or see a doctor because it's just not supposed to ooze from his …oh hi Yakko…"

_Damn it Wakko._

"Hey Yakko," Buster greeted him. "Say, that interesting sore on your tongue go away yet?"

Yakko heard Sabina start giggling and crossed Wakko off the top of his list and moved Buster there. He would now be the first to die. Wakko would be second.

He sighed as he heard more giggling and saw them all nudging each other.

"Jeeze Yakko, we busted up your last makeout session and you switch teams?" Plucky asked.

_Switch teams…I'm gonna kill that little-_

He couldn't finish his thought though. Wakko, with a nasty look at the duck grabbed the cane Max was holding and smacked him on the head.

"That's a girl moron!"

"Ow! Somebody take that cane before I get knocked into a coma!"

Yakko closed his eyes, trying to block the image of the five goobers as Sabina giggled and snuggled in his arms. These morons couldn't find any way to entertain themselves, they just had to hunt him up.

"What do you lemon heads want?"

"Saw you sucking at her face like an Everlasting Gobstopper Yak. Just thought we'd be friendly and say hi," Plucky said.

"Come a little closer and I'll show you how friendly I'm feeling," he growled back.

"Nah, Calamity's right," Max said, looking at the coyote's hands. "You look like you got your hands full." Nudging Wakko he added, "I don't think he's too worried about cavities Wak cuz he sure seems to be grabbing at the Mounds all of a sudden."

"I'm sure she's been checking out his Jolly Rancher though. How'd that go for ya Yak?" Buster added.

"She probably had a few Snickers at it," Wakko added with a laugh.

Yakko moved his arms from around Sabina and started to stand as all the boys cracked up, annoyed both at them finding them and at the nonsense candy puns. Yes, they were little boys, but still, if they were going to make fun of him they had to at least be creative.

Plucky was now number one on his _persona non grata_ list. If he was feeling particularly forgiving when he wrapped his hands around the kid's neck he'd snap it quickly.

Sabina pulled him back down though. Just as well he supposed. He only had two hands. He could strangle Plucky with one hand and Max with the other. He was reasonably sure he could choke Buster with his tail. Wakko he could catch later; he had to come home at some point. Calamity…well he would of course have to be killed; as stated before he was guilty by association. One of those 'casualties of war' things, tragic but unavoidable.

"All right you goobers, you found us."

_You and everyone else tonight._

"Now what do you want?"

"Just to say hi," Buster said.

"And hide," Wakko added.

"Hide? Hide from what?" Yakko asked, narrowing his eyes.

_What did these fools do now?_

"Nothing," Wakko said.

"Wakko…"

"He's hiding from Elmyra until after the contest and then he wants to talk to her about - ouch Wakko!" Plucky howled when Wakko punched him in the arm.

_What contest?_

"At least it wasn't your head," Buster said.

"Thankfully, one more hit and I'm gonna forget how to do Math."

Yakko shook his head, wondering what the quickest way to get rid of them would be.

Sometimes it was hard being the oldest. Especially when things were going so well and an idiot brother and his lunatic friends wanted to play 'I Spy' with you as the subject.

"This is your brother, yes?" Sabina asked. At his sigh and nod she looked toward Wakko. "You are very cute."

"Uh…yeah…thanks, I guess."

Yakko leaned back and smirked as she exchanged a look with him then got up. She had proven fairly clever; if she knew of a way to get rid of them he was content to sit back and let her work. Already Wakko looked uncomfortable, the other four morons didn't look a lot happier. Of course the last time they had crashed in on him his squeeze of the evening Evelyn had been outsmarted. He had a feeling Sabina was not going to be outsmarted by a group of eight and nine year olds.

"You are all so cute. Why are you hiding?"

Yakko watched as the four boys exchanged glances, Plucky and Calamity's hands moving wildly as they stammered excuses.

Yakko's grin grew wider when Sabina suddenly whistled loudly and she began talking much louder. His grin turned into laughter when he heard a few familiar voices talking further back towards where the line was forming for the ride, the voices now getting closer as the boys nervously looked at each other.

To top off everything else, Sabina had excellent hearing apparently. He hadn't heard the girls, not over the other noise around them.

"Someone's whistling pink-cuddly-"

"I hear it 'Myra; my ears are two feet long."

"I need to find that bum too."

"Like, can we try to find them now? I wanted to try to wrestle a dance out of Plucky."

"Oui. I would like to wrestle a dance out of Wakko-"

"But he's in the contest with me pretty purple kitty."

"I am not ze purple kitty!"

_Why should Sabina have all the fun? And what contest?_

"Awwwwww Buster," he cooed loudly. "You wanna give Babs a big kiss?"

"What?" Buster hissed. "You getting a high off her perfume?"

"Why I bet she'd just love that! Don't be afraid, just do it!" Yakko exclaimed loudly, delighting in seeing the boy's face get nervous and hearing the girls getting closer now. From the sounds of their conversations, they were very close and knew the guys were hiding around there somewhere.

"Fine, I get the message Yak, don't do this to me." With a nasty look at him Buster added, "It was Wakko's idea - go after him!"

_Believe me I will._

"Buster! This was your idea! You wanted to watch and get hints!"

_Did he now?_

Yakko watched as the rabbit colored slightly and pushed Wakko.

"So did you!"

"No I didn't!"

"And Wakko, of course I think it's adorable that you've got two girls after you! Why I don't even have that!"

_Lucky little…wonder how he did work that?_

"OK Yakko OK - don't do this to your beloved little brother-"

"What Wakko?" Looking up Yakko spotted a set of pink ears popping around the haystack and a long purple tail and smirked. "I think it's just dandy that you wanna kiss-"

"Fine," Wakko said. "We're outta here!"

With that the boys ran; Calamity doing a few silly pantomime moves before laughing and running off. The girls all waved at Yakko and Sabina as they appeared from around the haystack and giggled. Then the girls all wanted to talk for a few minutes asking why the boys kept running from them; he and Sabina both had managed to convince them that it wasn't exactly them per say.

Yakko sighed and finally just let Sabina take over; the girls weren't really getting it. When it became obvious that the girls were going to not really get it despite what they said or how they said it they both just gave up. He and Sabina just agreed with the group of girls that yes indeed the boys were silly and that they should get to work on finding them before they got too well hidden.

Still giggling the girls had finally run off and disappeared into the darkness while yelling back their thanks for their help.

"Finally, they're gone," he sighed. "Let's get back to what we were doing."

Sabina nodded, leaning over to kiss him and they both leaned back into the haystack again, the younger children momentarily forgotten.

And they got to continue the make-out session for a grand total of five minutes before another voice, just as unwelcome as the others came behind him.

"Gee Warner, you're not complaining about being set up anymore."

Sighing and gritting his teeth, Yakko looked behind him to see Kit smirking at him, Elke in his arms and nibbling on his neck.

"I wasn't complaining because my mouth was doing other things. Now that I've been interrupted for about the sixth time tonight I'll get back to the complaining. What do you want Cloudkicker?"

"Your haystack of course. Everywhere else is crawling with chaperones and Elke's to scared to go farther into the hayride."

"Tell me about it. Look, go find your own hiding place; this one is occupied."

"Tough Warner; I covered for you. Rebecca and your sister and the rest of the kiddie troop were looking for ya-"

"Is she OK?" he asked, momentarily worried. It had been awhile.

"She's fine, wanted to tell you about your brother-"

_What now?_

"-I sent them over toward the main bonfire where the storytelling is. Besides, you should go watch your brother-"

"What's he done now?"

"He's in some contest with that crazy redhead - Emily or Ethel or whatever her name is."

"Elmyra?" At Kit's nod he grinned. No wonder his little brother got so closed-mouthed when he asked what he was talking about.

"Hmmmm, fight for my spot or watch Wakko with his little girlfriend…decisions decisions…"

Sabina leaned forward and kissed him before saying, "Come. We can watch your brother. Perhaps I can meet your sister, yes? We will have caught our breath then, and perhaps…we can continue?"

Yakko looked at her, surprised but liking the idea. He didn't figure she'd actually want to watch a child's costume contest. He wasn't in the mood to 'catch his breath' but he didn't want to push her either.

He was hoping he could get enough nerve out to ask her something. She seemed nice enough and definitely interested.

He nodded. "Sure."

Hopping up he followed her quickly as Kit and Elke took over the bale of hay. Yakko shot a nasty look toward Kit who totally ignored him.

He could check on Dot, grab a cup of the gritty punch to quench his thirst, snap off a few more pictures of Wakko, then find a better hiding place. He checked his watch and frowned. Might not have time to find a hiding place, it was getting late.

_That being said…_

Gathering his nerve he gently grabbed her arm as she continued to walk and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, I wanted to ask you, before we get too far…"

Sabina turned and regarded him for a moment with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

"Yes?"

"Look, I wanted to know…"

_Get it together Yakko, you've been smooth all night, you can do this…_

"I wanted to know if you'd like to…I don't know…go get something to eat one weekend, see a movie or something?"

When Sabina didn't say anything right away Yakko almost turned and ran, feeling like an idiot. He had hoped that she'd say 'yes' or hell, he'd even accept a 'maybe', but not nothing.

"Never mind," he muttered. "Let's go get-"

"I'd like that."

_Oh thank God._

"And I know where we can go," she continued, stroking his face. "Perhaps next weekend? Saturday?"

Yakko almost nodded but stopped himself.

"Dot's birthday is next Saturday, I can't do anything then."

He had had to really bust his butt to get a party going too, but Dot should be pleased. Well, Porky should get the bulk of the 'kudos' - it was his house they were holding the party at.

Porky had approached him a week or so ago when he heard that Dot's birthday was coming up soon. The mild-mannered pig had said rather than having a party at a skating rink or the local 'Chuck E. Cheese' he would like to offer a better suggestion. He invited them to come to his house for the day or for the weekend, whichever he chose. Porky, who lived in Orson District said he had plenty of room for all of them.

While he stammered it all out at him, Porky had told him he of course knew Dot was fascinated with horses like every other girl her age. The two of them frequently discussed equestrian pursuits during her lessons. He thought perhaps she would like to actually be around them; he could show her some grooming; perhaps she could even sit or ride on one.

While Bergen could be a bit spirited, Dougherty was older and extremely calm and had about the same disposition as Eeoyre. If Dot wore a riding helmet and sat on the mount with him, he assured him she would be safe.

Yakko had stared at the pig before almost bowling him over with a hug while thanking him profusely. That thought had never even occurred to him. The most he would have been able to do was have a pony brought to the lot if left to his own devices.

He had to snicker at that image, imagining TP's look when he found out a pony had been hauled to the lot and there were five and six year olds riding around on it. Just the potential liability alone would be enough to have TP choking on his own froth, let alone the mess a pony would leave behind. And it would; Yakko would just have to refuse to volunteer to clean that up.

Porky and Bugs had helped with the planning. Sometime this week Bugs would go out with him to get a cake and a few additional presents, small ones. With Bugs' help and a few studio suggestions he had found the theater dance teacher she had wanted.

She had held up her end of the deal; her grades were decent and she was an excellent ballet student. She was mostly successful in learning her lines, sometimes forgetting something but that was just an age thing. He wasn't going to come down but so hard on an almost six-year-old. Allowances had to be made there.

Wakko, his little procrastinator still needed to get her something, though he said he didn't know what. Yakko assumed Wakko would go out with Foghorn at some point.

_Foghorn._

He'd have to ask him about when it would be convenient for him to go out. If the guy was nice enough to suggest it and the offer still stood, he would defiantly have the loudmouthed rooster chaperone him around.

Sabina leaned forward and put her shiny black nose against his own red one, bringing him out of his planning.

"I understand, we can work it out. Perhaps Friday night? Or sometime during the week?"

_Understand. Work it out._

He sighed in relief; all girls were not screeching demanding fishwives like Evelyn.

Yakko nodded. "Look, I'm going to have to schedule something - can I have your phone number?"

"Only if you promise to call."

Yakko nodded and quickly pulled a notebook and pencil out of his hammerspace. Flipping through notes for everything from Math and a few doodles he did while Bugs had been lecturing too long on disconnecting a body part for a few seconds to an interesting recipe for welsh rarebit Brain had given him he finally found a margin he hadn't doodled in and handed it to her.

Smirking she quickly wrote a phone number down while saying, "Good, I am not the only one who draws when the lectures get boring."

"Bugs isn't usually boring," Yakko said. "But sometimes he goes on for a bit. I just need to make sure he doesn't catch me too often. Last time he caught me doodling while he talked I somehow managed to fall victim to several pies in the face and suddenly find myself with two papers to write and one night to do them."

Sabina laughed and said, "Better than writing lines."

Yakko chose not to inform her that Bugs had him doing that a few times too.

"Come. We shall watch this contest, then see what pops up from there."

_What an interesting phrase to use_, he thought.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Come on 'Myra, I wanna know!"

"But no one told me cuddly-head-"

Wakko gritted his teeth in annoyance as he lined up with her near the stage and threw a dirty look at his friends, all of whom were yelling jokes and encouragement and waving their ballets in the air. Max and Plucky were waving several sheets of paper; he was pretty sure those tools were going to participate in a bit of ballot-stuffing. He shook his head at them; this was ToonTown not Chicago.

With his idiot friends he could see Dot with all her idiot friends, Yakko and that girl he was playing around with out in the crowded field with a bunch of adults. Yakko was currently talking to Ms. Cunningham with his arm around the girl, whatever her name was. A few tables away, Hampton was sitting with Dizzy, that geeky kid that played Gosalyn's friend on her show and the fat goofy kid from Ducktales.

After he had managed to shake Fifi who was dressed as a super-model or tramp or whatever she was supposed to be off his arm, he had tried to talk to Elmyra.

The key word being tried. She kept insisting no one told her anything but didn't seem to grasp the fact that he didn't believe her. When he had finally gotten her cornered so he could talk to her without the others around, they had to get in line for this stupid contest.

Luckily he'd been able to hang around just long enough to listen to Babs get in a verbal spat with a tall rat girl named Rhuebella. Dressed as Madonna 'in one of her skankier moments' as Babs had said, the rat girl had greeted him nice enough…

Well, she had half-smiled at him anyway.

After that the rat girl begun to fight with Babs, threatening to kick her ass. Unperturbed, Babs had told her to put a bag over her head because Rhuebella was once again showing her ass. It had finally ended when Babs had pied the girl and she had left, wiping filling off her face while still muttering threats.

He had been asking Elmyra for the last ten minutes how she figured out about his 'problem' as he usually called it. If he said 'diabetes' people could easily figure it out. If he said 'problem' anyone who heard could think it was anything.

Elmyra wasn't being forthcoming with any information though; she still kept insisting that no one told her anything and she did it all on her own because she noticed a few things. Elmyra was more incompetent than Inspector Gadget; he knew damn good and well she didn't figure out or notice anything. Someone told her.

"Come on snuggle-head, smile. When we get on stage I want everyone to see us looking happy you cutie woof-woof."

"Look, Elmyra I'm not your 'cutie woof-woof! I didn't even want to be in this stupid contest! I got suckered into it because of you and the other big mouths," he hissed quietly. "The least you can do is tell me who told you about it!"

"But cutie-head," Elmyra said. "If you didn't wanna be in the contest you should have said something silly."

Wakko clutched at his head and shook it. Talking to Elmyra made his brain hurt sometimes.

"I tried! I tried several times! Now I'm here, Yakko's out there snapping more pictures than an entire newspaper could use in a month, Plucky and Max are running their own political machine and everyone in ToonTown's gonna see me looking like an idiot-"

"I don't think you look like an idiot."

"Faboo Elmyra," he snapped as one of the adults handling the judging handed him a sheet with the number seven on it before moving down the line to hand entry numbers out to the rest of the contestants. "And I know someone told you - I know you wouldn't have figured it out!"

"Why not fuzzy-head? I did. You shouldn't hide it from-"

Wakko really wished she wouldn't call him 'fuzzy-head'.

"Because I know someone like you wouldn't-"

He cut off at Elmyra's hurt look.

"Like me? Why not huh?"

He hadn't meant that, not really. He bit the corner of his lip trying to think of how to backtrack out of it.

When he didn't answer she pushed his shoulder, getting louder as she spoke and surprising him. Elmyra rarely yelled. Then again he wouldn't know; he had rarely seen Elmyra get angry. Figures, the one time she starts to get angry it's at him. He started to chew on his lip nervously as she continued to stare at him.

"Well? Why not? I'm too stupid to notice things?"

_Uh-oh…_

"No, that's not what-"

"I'm not gonna notice that my cuddly-wuddly friend eats different food and your cuddly-head brother always asks what you ate and you go away and look at your finger with him?"

_How'd she see that? We were always careful!_

"No 'Myra that's not what I meant!"

_Well, it kinda was actually, but I'm not saying that._

Glaring at him, her nostrils flaring she said quietly, "I asked my mother after I saw you and Yakko looking at some machine and heard the word 'glucose' Wakko."

_Damn. Thought we were always so careful too._

"My mother's a nurse and told me what you were probably doing!" Shaking her finger at him she said, "She said you'd get sick and need to get shots and go to the hospital if you had a lot of candy here!"

Well, Elmyra didn't seem to have a super good grasp of what was wrong, but she had enough. And she had noticed something was different, something a lot of his friends hadn't actually picked up right away.

"I didn't want you to get sick so she helped me make the bags because you can't eat the yummy stuff here! We had to make a whole special bag for you! Everyone else just got regular stuff."

Wakko looked at her and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. He winced; no matter how much of a jerk he acted like he usually didn't make girls cry.

And she looked so crushed. Her chocolate brown eyes, usually so bright and lively were narrowed at him now in anger and hurt.

Backing up slightly he said, "Look, 'Myra, I-"

"I get called stupid all the time; Elmyra the idiot, Elmyra the clueless, the redheaded retard," she mimicked in a nasty tone, tossing her head around enough she knocked her hood back. "I'm used to getting it from the others, I didn't think you'd be like that too!"

With that she pushed past him and left the line, stomping past the other children. While all of them probably didn't hear the entire conversation, they saw enough and a few gave him reproachful looks while other's laughed or just ignored the entire fight.

_Damn it._

Feeling like a jerk he called her name and left the line, asking the orange hippo kid dressed like Popeye behind him to hold his spot and that he'd be right back. He and the equally large hippo girl dressed as Olive Oyl beside him nodded.

Wakko took off after Elmyra, who was surprising him at the speed she was moving. She wasn't running but she was close to it, her wool cape ballooning out behind her and the basket swinging wildly in her left hand.

She continued to move through the crowd, not turning to look at him.

"Elmyra wait!"

"Just go away Wakko! I don't wanna talk to you anymore you…you shaggy meanie!"

_Humph. First I was 'fuzzy', now I'm 'shaggy'._

Pulling out a burst of speed he didn't know he had in him he finally caught her. He was just starting to master toonspeed. He couldn't do it long, only a couple of seconds, but it was all he needed. Elmyra may be fast, but he was too.

"Damn it 'Myra just wait!" He said, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Why? You think I'm an idiot like the others! Go back to them - eat a lot of candy and see if I care!"

Right now he'd like to just go hide somewhere and try to overdose on candy or cookies. Especially Oreo's. He wondered if he could commit suicide by Oreo.

"Look, 'Myra," he said as nicely as he could, well aware of the stares they were starting to get. And he had noticed Yakko and a few of the others staring at them when Elmyra left the line. Somehow he doubted Yakko would be real pleased with him right now.

"Let's talk about this later huh? You still want to do the cost-"

"Not anymore, not with you," she frowned and tried to pull her arm away. "Let go Wakko or I'll mallet you!"

_Oh yeah, I screwed up._

He had never actually seen Elmyra pull out her mallet except when she was on set, and even then it was rare. Elmyra wasn't a mean girl on or off the show; her running around with a mallet just didn't fit with her personality. Hell, he had to admit when he had first seen her mallet he had been shocked; he honestly didn't think she had one.

She was an air-head, no doubt about that. But she wasn't stupid.

He didn't think she was the next Nancy Drew either, but apparently she did have a clue what was happening around her every now and then. Or at least when it came to her friends. Or the people she thought were her friends.

Meaning him.

She had gone out of her way to make sure he could actually have something at the function, something even Buster and the others hadn't done.

Not that he would have eaten anything his friends cooked; he'd seen Buster's room, he sure as hell wouldn't eat anything the rabbit put on his plate even if he was his best friend. Max would never have cooked, though he would eat anything his cook made because if the guy was a cook in the Max family employ he had to know what he was doing-

"Let go Wakko I'm warning you!"

Snapping out of his musings of Buster's less than tidy bedroom and Max's cook he looked at her, wondering what he should do. He hadn't meant to upset her; sometimes his mouth really got him in trouble, even when he hadn't meant it to.

Deciding Elmyra wasn't a lot different from any of his other friends even though she was a girl he shrugged and let go of her arm, hoping he was making the correct decision.

"Go ahead 'Myra, I deserve it. You're right, I was being…a 'shaggy meanie'."

He almost turned his nose up at saying 'shaggy meanie'. Elmyra needed to learn something cooler to call him. Like Max, he would have said he was being a horse's ass or a butthead or something. He tried to picture the words 'shaggy meanie' coming from any of his friends' mouths and just couldn't do it.

It would be funny to hear them say though.

"I was being a jerk 'Myra. So go ahead and mallet me if it'll make you feel better. I'm sorry OK?"

Biting on his lip hard enough he was surprised he didn't draw a few drops of blink he closed his eyes and waited, expecting to get hit. After a few seconds he peeked open one; Elmyra was still glaring at him, her right fist balled, her left hand curled around the handle of her basket, but no mallet in sight. He decided to try something different.

He hesitantly stepped toward her. The few times he had seen Yakko with a girl his brother was always touching the girl, usually on her face or something. He had seen Yakko with his hands in a few other places too, but he wasn't doing that; it was gross. But the girls always seemed happy.

Reaching over and running his hand down her left cheek he sighed and said, "I never thought you were an idiot. I'm the idiot for getting one of my friends mad at me."

_Oh man this is mushy…_

"I admit it; I'm an ass and you should pound me straight through the ground…"

Hearing her giggle he looked at her. She was still attempting to look mad, but wasn't doing that great a job with it anymore. He was just gratified to see she didn't look like she really wanted to pound on his head, at least right now. He would have let her but he really didn't want to. Chucked or not, a mallet on the head could really smart. Cheering her up by saying something silly or agreeing he was a 'shaggy meanie' was definitely the way to go.

Happy he was making her happy he continued.

"I deserve to have my ass kicked nightly for the next week for getting you upset. I should be forced to listen to Plucky tell me how great he is without being allowed to say a single thing to point out why he's full of crap."

Elmyra started laughing and Wakko breathed a sigh of relief as she threw her head back, her trademark laugh getting them several looks. Plus, she no longer looked angry.

"Someone should make me serve tea to Dot and her dolls without being allowed to set any of them on fire. I should be tied to a chair with my eyelids taped open and forced to watch a full season of 'Baloney and Kids' at one time."

"On no fuzzy-head!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. "Even I don't like the icky creepy dinosaur!"

Well, at least he was back to being 'fuzzy' instead of 'shaggy'. And Elmyra didn't like the annoying orange idiot. Good to know.

When he and Dot had first seen the show a few months ago they couldn't stop laughing at the stupid thing. The weird dinosaur, the brain-dead drones in the audience, the insane ideas they came up with to entertain themselves. It made 'Barney' look really radical.

And they had found out it was filmed on the other side of the lot from where they were. They had made sure to stay far away from that section since.

A little embarrassed he clumsily returned the hug then tried to push her off him without making it too obvious. He really didn't want anyone seeing this, though he could hear a few toons around them saying 'awwwww' and things like that. Luckily no one he knew was able to see them.

"I'm really sorry 'Myra. But thanks. Um, the cookies were good."

_Kinda plain, but they were OK._

"It's OK cuddle-head!"

He sighed. Elmyra simply refused to use his name unless she was mad at him apparently.

"Let's go get back in line! It's getting ready to start!"

With that pronouncement she grabbed his hand and began to drag him back toward the line that was steadily moving toward the stage, knocking into the people in the crowd in her haste.

Wakko sighed and let her drag him along while he still clutched their number. She wasn't angry at him anymore and that was good, what he had been going for actually. Not going up there now would just make her sad or angry again. It would be better just to stand up there, look like an idiot for a few minutes and let her have her moment.

At least she forgave him quickly enough, probably quicker than any of his other friends. If one of his friends had acted like that he wasn't sure he would have forgiven them that quickly and he was probably the most forgiving of his group.

_Girls are weird._

XXXXXXXXXX

_Awwwww, a lover's spat._

Yakko had been worried a few minutes ago when he had seen Elmyra stomping off and a panic-stricken Wakko frantically trying to catch her. He had been trying to watch but neither of them were that tall; they had quickly been hidden in the crowd of older kids and adults that were milling around the stage.

He felt Dot fidgeting in his lap; she was annoyed that there had been several costume contests that had taken place before now, including a girls ages four through eight. She was a bit sulky because she hadn't known about it and it was over before they had gotten here. He had shrugged and tried to tell her it wouldn't have been fair is she entered anyway; she was definitely the cutest girl there hands down.

That had seemed to make her at least a little bit happier. Calamity had signed that he agreed and Yakko had flashed the least annoying of Wakko's friends a smile. Having another's opinion not in her 'group' had made Dot a bit happier.

It didn't stop her from glaring at a few of the other little girls that won though as they walked by holding their blue ribbons though.

Out of the group, Webbigail had already left, though he did get to briefly meet her parents. Skippy was asleep, Dot was almost there and Molly was still at least half-awake since she was still bouncing in her chair.

He winced as an elk toon dressed hilariously like a hunter complete with blaze orange hat called out again for all the contestants in the best couples costumes for ages eight through twelve category to either get on stage or forfeit their place.

He sighed in relief when he had seen Elmyra dragging a resigned looking Wakko on the stage. So did the others; Plucky had been swearing to tie Wakko up and dump him on the stage if he tried to run off.

Yakko turned to look at the goofballs, all crowded around the table he was sitting at. Beside him Molly was sitting in a chair, bouncing up and down as she drank yet another cup of the sugary punch. She had consumed about six cups just when she had been sitting beside them; she wasn't going to sleep for three days. He had to say though she looked a lot cuter now that she had the makeup washed off her face; he had no major fears of clowns, but the dead white paste sitting heavy on her fur had looked odd.

Behind him were most of the adults, even Slappy coming out to watch, though whether it was because she wanted to see a costume contest or she was simply checking to make sure she wasn't going to catch him necking somewhere else was hard to say, especially with her.

He was sorry Sabina had to leave though. Her parents had found them shortly after the younger children's costume events had died down, saying it was well past time for the little ones to be getting home. Their staff knew what to do for clean up; they were heading home.

But they had seemed friendly enough for the forty seconds he actually met them. Her father, a very large wolf had stopped just short of threatening to break his knee-caps if he hurt his daughter which Yakko chose to take as a sign of acceptance. Her mother, a pretty fox had regarded him coolly and hadn't said much, but beamed when Sabina had said they would be going out soon.

He would definitely be calling her. His brain was already trying to work around where and when despite knowing that he had a full weekend planned.

He looked up at Dot's squeal and the entire group let out a cheer. He quickly looked toward the stage fearing he had missed something.

Several of the couples were being dismissed, being handed white ribbons. He nodded; consolation prizes. The adults usually liked to build kids up regardless of what weird or just downright stupid costumes they chose and would frequently give them something just so they didn't feel like total losers.

Six couples were leaving the stage, among them two human toon children dressed almost creepily as Donald and Daisy Duck and two hippo children dressed very inappropriately as Popeye and Olive Oyl.

Only three couples remained; Wakko and Elmyra, a chipmunk couple dressed as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, and a little boy hound dressed as Robin Hood and a cat girl dressed as Maid Marianne.

Yakko winced as the squeal shot through the microphone again as the announcer spoke.

"Third place goes to Robin Hood and Maid Marianne."

The children came forward, shaking hands with everyone on stage while they both took green ribbons. Around him Yakko could hear cheers from his table, Babs and Shirley doing a surprising amount of shouting at the losing couple, prompting Yakko to roll his eyes and the other boys to laugh. Fifi sat in her chair and huffed before taking a mirror out of her hammerspace and fixing her hair.

Yakko crossed his fingers.

"Second place goes to Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf."

Yakko, disappointed winced again, this time due to the shouts of disbelief and anger that rang out from the table.

"It's not fair!" Dot wailed. "I voted for them!"

"I know Dot, but we can't always win right?" He said quietly. It was hard, but she had to understand that you couldn't win at everything all the time.

Though Wakko and Elmyra still looked better than the other two.

"This shit was rigged!" Plucky bellowed. "I voted eight times!"

"These assholes shouldn't be judging a pie eating contest!" Max spat out while banging his fist on the table.

Yakko tended to agree, though maybe not quite so vehemently. He was getting ready to say something to them but stopped and smirked instead when he saw Ms. Cunningham and Slappy both come to the table. Looking annoyed they both began to chew the two boys out for their language while Buster, Calamity and the girls laughed, the younger children joining in.

On the stage, Wakko and Elmyra shook hands with the winning couple and took their own bright red ribbons before leaving the stage, Wakko looking relieved, Elmyra looking devastated.

"She looks upset," Babs said. "I'm going to go talk to her."

Babs got up to leave the table, Shirley and Mary following. After a second Fifi sighed and got up as well to follow them over to where Elmyra was standing, talking to two adults Yakko presumed to be her parents, the man wearing the dark blue uniform of a ToonTown patrol officer, the woman wearing a snowy white dress with a pink shawl over it, a white cap perched on her bright carrot colored hair. The two older toons smiled as the girls approached and began talking.

Meanwhile Wakko was scurrying back over to him, ribbon clutched in his fist as he dove around through the crowd. He was doing a reasonable job of avoiding knocking someone down or being knocked down himself. Meanwhile, the announcer with the faulty microphone asked for the couples in the best costume contest for ages thirteen through sixteen to please come to the stage.

"Glad that's over with," Wakko panted, collapsing in the chair beside him and knocking a sleeping Skippy over.

"Who are you telling?" Plucky muttered as Ms. Cunningham and Slappy finally finished and went back to their table.

"Huh?"

"Nothing mime, go back to sleep," Max grumbled.

"I wasn't asleep, I was up on the stage, didn't you see me?"

Yakko watched in amusement as Wakko grinned at Max, then as Max lunged across the table at Wakko, both boys ending up on the ground and attempting to strangle each other and laughing. Plucky and Buster shrugged and jumped in so that they formed the usual 'dust cloud', called 'dust-deviling', a basic form of Chucking. Two or more toons could have a mock fight and stir up so much energy around them that they actually blocked anyone from viewing them, an occasional arm or leg peeking out of the fray. It was a favorite of boys everywhere; girls typically didn't like it as much.

While it was simple and could entertain the younger boys, 'dust-deviling' used up a lot of energy and none of the boys was old enough or skilled enough to keep it up long and the fray broke up fairly quickly. While the four of them panted on the ground, Calamity laughed and signed at them from his chair. Yakko didn't catch all of what the coyote signed, but it must have been pretty bad because it caused Plucky to raise his eyebrows and brought laughter from the others.

Plucky grabbed the cane from Max and signed while saying, "Shut it Calam or I'll shove this cane-"

Max took the cane back and hit Plucky over the head with it. Yakko sat back in his chair to watch as he felt Dot snuggle back into his chest. The goofballs could be amusing at times, and if they were going to put on a show for him he'd sit back and watch. He pulled his camera out of his hammerspace and even snapped a few more pictures. He had used about two rolls of film tonight; he might as well finish this one so he could get them developed.

Plucky stood, snatched the cane back and broke it in two pieces while saying, "There! That's it! And don't think of saying a damn thing to me Max - I'm going to have welts on my head from that stupid thing."

Yakko, laughing, looked up and glanced Elmyra, still with her parents and friends looking depressed. The girl was usually fairly placid and easy going; he was surprised that she was this torn up about a costume contest. Maybe it wasn't just the costume contest though; Babs and Mary were occasionally turning to look behind them at the boys, giving them nasty looks.

"Oh guys?" Yakko said, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. "Guys?"

"Yeah Yak?" Buster asked, climbing in the chair beside him and this time knocking Skippy completely out of the chair and onto the ground where he continued to sleep. "What's up? You want in next time we do it?"

"I'll pass, thanks." Pointing across the grass toward the girls he said, "The girls look unhappy. Did you morons do anything to them?"

"No," they answered as one, even Calamity shaking his head.

"Shame they look so unhappy though; you don't want to get girls mad at you, believe me."

"Who cares?" Max shrugged. "Only one that's decent is Mary."

"Babs is OK, 'Myra too," Wakko argued.

"You can take all of them then Wak," Plucky said, dusting himself off and sitting on the edge of the chair with Buster.

"I don't want all of them!" After a second he added, "I don't want any of them."

"Look over there; Elmyra's about to cry. And she's usually the happiest of the girls…the ditziest of them true, but she's always been nice if a bit enthusiastic. She even made everyone treat bags."

She had even given him one. He didn't like popcorn balls and had given it to Molly who had immediately begun to gnaw on it as soon as she got it in her hands, but he liked the cookies. Dot stole his M&M's before he could get to them.

He looked down at her, half dozing in his lap. She did look adorable in her outfit and he had been relieved to see the costume didn't bother him half as much as he thought it would. Right now though she could have been wearing anything and looked cute; her ears hanging in exhaustion and her arms crossed in her lap and the tip of her tail twitching back and forth in her sleep.

Glancing up he remembered what Wakko said about Buster wanting to watch him and pick up hints and the rabbit's embarrassed denial before accusing Wakko of the same thing. Maybe he should do them a favor, pass down a few hints. And a few of the girls did look upset, and they had at least been more polite when stumbling on his earlier 'activities'. He had a pretty good feeling the boys had deliberately hunted him up, mostly for their own amusement, but maybe to spy a little too. Hell, sometimes he was confused and wished he had someone to go 'spy' on to figure out what to do.

"Don't any of you feel a tiny bit bad? Even Babs' looks upset."

Actually she looked more 'mad' then 'upset', but he didn't see where that should matter.

He watched all of them exchange glances.

"Ugh, I can't look," Max muttered. "Elmyra's making even me feel bad."

"You should feel bad; what sort of guy sits by and lets a girl cry?"

They were all a bunch of morons, true, but they weren't really bullies or 'mean'. Even Max, probably the one who acted the most like a jerk wasn't a jerk all the time. He tried to be and he did a grand job at it most times, but every now and then he'd slip and let someone catch him doing something decent.

Yakko had been watching all of them whether they knew it or not at lunch or around the lot or even at the functions when he wasn't busy 'attending to business'. They were all still trapped in between the 'girls ick' and 'you know girls might be faboo' stage. One minute sharing fries with the girls or inviting them to play baseball with them, the next pulling their hair or teasing them. He couldn't ever remember ever going through that stage himself; one day he was just standing there and like a light switch coming on he noticed a girl. He supposed he was a bit abnormal though.

Chances were all the idiots currently in front of him would be crawling after the girls within a few years. No doubt several of the girls currently in the group across the field glaring at them now. But none of those girls would be interested in them then if they acted like jerks all the time now.

Well, they may, sometimes girls didn't care. But still…

"Look you chuckleheads," he said, picking up the signing as Plucky sat back in his chair. "Is it going to kill you to go see them? Take this bit of advice; go score yourselves some brownie points. That way, when you screw up later like I know you will at least one of them might remember you aren't always insensitive jerks."

After a few mumblings and denials and a very quietly muttered 'do we have to do this?' from one of them, probably Plucky, Wakko sighed and stood up.

"I was a jerk to Elmyra earlier, I'll go see her, she's OK." He quickly added, "Even though I know I'm gonna hear about this until I'm in a nursing home."

"That's true. I'll come with you," Buster said before adding, "For moral support of course."

Yakko watched both boys stand and walk toward the girls, looking like they were on their way to their own executions.

While Max, Plucky and Calamity watched them and smirked, Yakko decided to try a different tactic with them.

"I'll let you in on a secret about girls too." As the three boys looked at him he added, "Girls are really creative; unhappy girls are devastating enemies. Never underestimate them. Trust me, a short conversation or one dance now can save you from many unhappy and lonely teenage years. Besides," he added, examining his glove with a smirk, "Never thought Wakko and Buster would prove to have more guts than you three."

They had been looking somewhat guilty before. Hands waving wildly as they signed they were now annoyed at the thought of either 'the rabbit' or 'the mime' being braver than them. Grudgingly they all stood and followed over to where Wakko and Buster stood meeting Elmyra's parents, Elmyra standing beside Wakko and Babs with her arms around Buster's neck.

He watched, pleased as the whole little group wandered off and tried to ignore the squealing of the microphone as the costume contests continued and the roar of the crowd.

He closed his eyes and sighed when he felt a tugging at his right sleeve. Molly apparently wasn't asleep yet. Turning to look at her he could tell she was tired and was simply running on the leftover sugar high from earlier. When she crashed it was going to be hard.

"How come you made the boys do that? Are you mad at them? You like girls a lot don't you? Kit likes girls too! I'm a girl you like me right? Can I have some more punch? Or Skittles? Or Mounds? Do you have any more popcorn balls?"

As she continued to list off questions she wanted answered or treats she wanted to eat, he glanced down and saw Dot starting to stir. The function was starting to wrap up; people were milling about talking or beginning to make their way to the exit. A lot of toons were dancing further to the right at the makeshift dance area. Wakko, Buster, the whole group was over there, the girls looking quite a bit happier than they had a few minutes ago. And Kit was over there too, dancing with Elke; he wondered if they got chased out of the haystack too.

"What were you doing with that girl? Weren't you wearing a mustache? What happened to it huh huh huh? Hey, there's hay in your hair! Hey Yakko how come you were rolling in the hay huh?"

He quickly ran a hand thorough his hair. He thought he'd got it all out. She wasn't being distracted though; if anything she appeared to be getting more wound up.

He certainly didn't want to attract attention to or even attempt to explain his evening's activities…He needed to come up with a way to distract her quickly.

"Hey Molly, you wanna dance with me?"

Molly got quiet and for a second he hoped the sugar high had finally worn off and she was going to fall asleep. Then her eyes widened and she shrieked and clasped her hands together while jumping up and down in the chair.

"Dance? With me? Really? Oh wow! Kit never asks me to dance! Yes yes yes yes-"

"OK Molly OK-"

_Jeeze what did I start?_

"But I wanna dance with you Yakko," Dot said, more fully waking up and rubbing at her eyes while she stretched.

Ducking her fist that was stretching up toward his chin he said, "I can dance with both of you. How many other guys here are lucky enough to get two cute girls to dance with them?"

Nodding to Ms. Cunningham who smiled and returned to talking he stood, one girl in each arm and quickly made his way to the dance area. Another song was starting and he actually liked this one; the oldies station Bugs listened to frequently played it.

Shooting a smirk at Kit who barely looked at him because he was still busy kissing Elke Yakko held both girls while they laughed and asked questions. He quickly took his camera out and held it out as well as he could while still holding both girls and snapped a few pictures of the three of them while Molly and Dot continued to laugh and hug his neck while screaming they wanted copies.

Across from them he saw Wakko dancing with a now beaming Elmyra and snapped another couple of photos of him and his friends, finishing out the roll as Wakko rolled his eyes and hid his face in Elmyra's hair. Across from them Max and Mary danced a really…odd way and screamed out the lyrics to the chorus to each other.

_Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you…_

XXXXXXXXXX

November 6, 1993

"And Dot, y-y-you can just watch t-this. Using a h-h-hoof pick can be d-d-dangerous if you d-don't know what you're doing."

Dot nodded, hopping off the stool onto the dirt floor of the barn gracefully. When Porky had given her the task of brushing out Dougherty's long black mane while the dun horse had happily eaten his food he had pulled the stool from the other side of the stall. Dougherty hadn't seemed too concerned, but like Porky said, Dougherty had a pretty even disposition. The horse was much like his owner.

Dot stood beside Porky who was patting the horse's neck while talking to him and wasn't able to wipe the grin off her face. This had to be the best birthday ever, even though Porky was making her wear the riding helmet the entire time she was in the barn.

She reached up and touched the helmet, feeling the soft black velvet covering the hard hat underneath. She didn't really even want to take it off; she had been surprised that Porky had a helmet small enough to fit her but Porky said he had a few nieces and it was one of their helmets from when they were her age.

But she had finally been able to ride a horse. Not by herself though. At first Porky had let Dougherty burn up some energy then had held the reins while she sat on his back, feeling dwarfed by the huge dun horse and the saddle she had been sitting in. Porky wouldn't let her ride by herself, but he did let her sit in his lap for a bit and walked Dougherty around the paddock, letting her hold the reins while he held them too and explaining how he used both the reins and his legs to communicate with Dougherty.

Porky had gone all out trying to give her a nice birthday celebration. Yakko had obviously helped of course. He had gotten a cake and invited Molly and Webbigail and Skippy over much to her delight and Wakko's grumbling. He hadn't really wanted to stay the weekend at Porky's house other than for the birthday party but Yakko told him he didn't have a choice; he either stayed this one weekend now or he'd get to stay the next two weekends stuck at the tower.

Wakko hadn't really fussed more after that, but Yakko relented and let him go out with Foghorn for awhile to some stupid car show. Yakko had told her that Wakko just got bored easily and letting him burn off excess energy with the big chicken now would give everyone less of a headache later.

And he hadn't been too bad; last night when Porky had picked them up from the lot after filming Wakko had seemed happy enough, and earlier today when her friends were over he had been fine. He and Yakko had even played with them after they had eaten cake and ice cream.

And Yakko had said he had already arranged for her promised theater dance lessons. She would be starting next Friday evening after her regular classes and filming was done for the day. She had almost forgotten she wanted the lessons and was happy Yakko had remembered. She was really excited about that, especially the tap part. Theater Dance was going to be great; it was like getting a bunch of dances in one.

And she had her dance recital next month. She was excited about it, Yakko seemed so too, maybe not so much Wakko but he wasn't really excited about dancing anyway. But she wasn't too upset; he would go regardless. Besides, he said Wilie was trying to get him to play a piece on his violin. It was no longer going to be a dance recital; it was going to be a 'holiday extravaganza'; several kids would be there playing holiday pieces in-between the dancing. Wakko was still undecided if he wanted to or not but said the music would be more interesting than the dancing. She had tried to teach him some ballet but he wasn't interested.

She had been upset at first because Wakko kept saying to leave him alone and Yakko had finally gotten involved, telling her that everyone had different talents. Wakko's was obviously music, hers was definitely for dancing. Nothing wrong with either of them he said, but it would cause a lot less hassle if she just accepted that and let it go.

She pushed that out of her mind; Porky was really going all out trying to show her how to groom a horse. He was going all out showing her everything really. He was patiently going through each step to show her how to do it, repeating it if necessary. Dougherty probably hadn't ever been this thoroughly groomed.

Holding her up he had put his hand over hers and shown her how to use the oval shaped rubber curry comb so they could loosen the dirt under Dougherty's shiny brown coat. He had shown her how to carefully go around the bony sections of his body like around his legs so they wouldn't hurt him.

He said you never used this brush on a horses face though; you could really hurt him, and if you slipped and accidentally poked him in the eye they would have to get a veterinarian to help him. Porky said he would take care of Dougherty's face himself, not because he didn't trust her, but he said she was so little and inexperienced and might hurt him not meaning to.

That was OK with her; she liked Dougherty. He was a really nice horse and she didn't want to hurt him.

Porky had shown her the rest of the grooming procedures though. He said if you wanted a horse and you wanted to ride you had to take responsibility and make sure you took care of them too, just like with any animal.

He had shown her the 'dandy brush', the soft bristled brush used to flick the dirt away from Dougherty's coat. He said you should see a soft cloud of dirt being flicked away from his coat as you used it. If you didn't, either the horse was extremely clean or you need to use more flicking action.

After that he had shown her the 'body brush', a different soft bristled brush to get rid of any traces of dirt and smooth down the hair.

Porky said using the brushes in this order was important; if used in this order the horse would always have a nice shiny and clean look. He said there was no excuse for any horse not to have a shiny and healthy looking coat unless the horse was sick or the groomer was lazy.

He let her brush out Dougherty's mane with the mane comb, a soft plastic comb she could use to gently brush his hair. She was told don't pull though and to never use it on a horses tail because it would break the hairs in the tail. Porky told her if need be use the Dandy Brush on the tail.

He said Dougherty's hooves needed to be picked and he was going to do that, but he wanted to show her.

"OK Porky, what do we do?"

"W-Well Dot," he started, "First w-w-wee need to have him p-p-pick his feet up, and he d-doesn't know w-we want that, so we have to tell him. Always stand to the left of the horse and f-face their tail. Watch me now."

Dot stood right beside him as Porky ran his hand down Dougherty's shoulder and left front leg. When he got to the horse's ankle, he gently squeezed and Dougherty compliantly lifted his hoof a bit. Porky grasped it and lifted it higher.

"Did y-you see w-w-what I did Dot?"

Dot nodded. "You squeezed his ankle."

"Very good! It's called his fetlock Dot. And I leaned into him - just slightly. Dougherty's used to this, b-but Bergen doesn't l-l-like it. D-don't ever squeeze too hard, j-just a little gentle pressure is u-u-usually enough. And d-don't lift too high; if you do he might lose his balance." At her vigorous nod he said, "Come here and I'll l-let you t-t-try it."

Dot moved to stand in front of him. She crouched, Porky doing the same directly behind her. Taking her smaller hand in his he ran her hand down Dougherty's leg, his hand still on top of hers while Dougherty continued to eat and ignore what they were doing. When she felt the bones change near his fetlock, becoming more protruding and bony Porky stopped her hand and squeezed and Dougherty's hoof again tipped up.

"OK Dot," Porky said, pulling something from his overall's pocket. Do y-you know w-w-what this is?"

She looked at it for a second and nodded. "A hoof pick."

"Very good Dot! Y-You've really been r-r-reading that book I g-g-gave you."

She had too. Porky had given her 'A Girl's Illustrated Guide To The Horse'.

"Now w-with this w-we can clean his hooves." Pointing to part of Dougherty's hoof in his hand he asked, "What's this?"

Dot looked at the triangular area he was indicating.

"It's the frog!"

She beamed at Porky's nod and smile. She knew all this; Porky had given her the book yesterday and she had read it once already, sitting down with Yakko last night to read that instead of the usual bedtime story. She didn't remember all of it of course, but she remembered a lot; Porky had even said so.

"R-Right Dot! It's b-b-basically a horny structure. You're brother would probably l-liken it to a s-s-shock absorber for a car. And we have to make s-sure that we clean all around it."

With that Porky started scraping at Dougherty's hoof, still explaining what he was doing. Dot stood beside him and watched.

She was really happy Porky was sharing what he knew. And he really knew a lot about horses, more than anyone she had ever even heard about. Wakko hadn't been too thrilled when Porky was talking about them, but Wakko was more of what Porky had jokingly called a 'gear head'.

He thought the horses were neat for about five minutes before he had wandered off. After a half-hour of not seeing him and knowing Wakko's talent for finding trouble Yakko had wandered off to find him and almost got killed because Wakko was playing with a pitchfork. She had a feeling that was why Yakko had let him go with Foghorn; there was simply too much for Wakko to hurt himself on - or hurt someone else with - around the barn.

Yakko had at least made more of an attempt at looking interested, though secretly Dot could tell he wasn't that excited about them either. At first he had fretted about her being near the horse, or feeding the horse, or sitting on the horse until Porky told him that he knew what he was doing. He had dealt with small children around horses before and no one had gotten so much as a splinter from the barn door.

Yakko had calmed down considerably after that and had contentedly run around snapping off photographs, telling her he was experimenting with shudder speeds and some other stuff, but when Bugs had shown up for a visit Yakko had spent more of his time talking to him about restaurants. He had gone off with Bugs to some museum or something now leaving her alone with Porky and the horses.

Maybe it was just a boy thing. Luckily Porky, boy or not was not only interested and extremely knowledgeable about them, she could see from the look on his face that he was infatuated with them.

Even while he talked she could see the deep love on his face as he discussed his favorite subject, talking about their beauty and power and usefulness and the long friendship that usually develops between a horse and its rider.

Still scraping at Dougherty's hoof, Porky was busy explaining that you had to make sure to clean the hooves daily because if not a small rock could get stuck in there and hurt him or wet bedding or manure could stay packed in the hollows and breed fungus and cause his hoof to decay.

She continued to watch; if Porky was going to take the time to show her all this, the least she could do was listen and learn.

She had to admit, when she had first found out that Porky was going to be her tutor she hadn't been happy at the thought of having to deal with the stuttering pig. Much like Wakko had been with Foghorn she had whined and sulked about the choice, but Bugs and Yakko had been right. Now both she and Wakko were delighted with their tutors and she felt slightly bad about how she had originally thought about the pig.

She really liked how Porky taught too. He frequently used horses as a teaching tool, whether for geography or history or even math, her most hated subject. But it was slightly more fun when he was helping her with her addition when they were adding up how many fillies and colts were in a given situation or using a particular breed of horse to study geography and history with how that type of horse helped the people of that land.

She didn't like her Math and English tutor Ms. Flamiel, she was crotchety and mean. The classes weren't too bad now; she and both her brothers were usually in one room together for it and Ms. Flamiel just usually went from each one of them handing out assignments. It was worse before when they had each had to see her separately, but since she was old and wasn't that popular with any of the kids on the lot the studio had been cutting her time down and combining the kids in classes.

Which was fine with her. Between the three of them they usually tried to drive her crazy, sometimes not so much Yakko because he really did want to learn, but even he got tired of dealing with the ill-tempered woman. He had said he was trying to see if they could get a new tutor or have Bugs do it or something, but so far no one from the studio would give him an answer.

"I'll do the r-r-rest of his hooves," Porky said, interrupting her thoughts. "Dot, w-would you like t-to w-wipe him down?"

"Sure! What do I do?"

Porky handed her a soft towel that was hanging on the wall.

"Just start c-carefully w-wiping him d-down; it will bring out the s-shine of his coat. After that y-you can give him s-some of the alfalfa cookies; h-he r-really likes those."

Dot nodded and jumped back on the stool. Porky had already shown her how you give a treat to the horse by keeping your hand flat because the horse wouldn't be able to tell the difference between your hand and the treat. She had given Dougherty an apple earlier, giggling when she felt the horse's lips tickling the inside of her hand.

Wiping down Dougherty's neck while Porky continued to talk, this time doing a mock quiz with her on the parts of the horse.

She smirked to herself but answered. Now Porky was using the horse for something else, a lesson on anatomy.

At least he was creative.

XXXXXXXXXX

November 13, 1993

"You like it, yes?"

Yakko nodded his head, not wanting to speak for fear of spraying Sabina with Tiramisù. He hadn't been this nervous since he had to sing 'The Nations of the World' - all that quick speaking not to mention the added bonus of having to point to each country on a map. The only difference was that he had to do that in front of a bunch of crew and when he made a mistake he could start over and no one would judge him. Just one more take, not a big deal.

Here though, one flub, one comment said jokingly and not taken as a joke by her, one mistep and he could destroy his chances. He almost wished this was a scene they were filming; he could think quick and talk even quicker but sometimes he wished he had a script when dealing with girls. No matter how calm and cool he appeared, his insides were twisting and his stomach was a churning mass of nerves.

Like when Sabina had suggested he order Tiramisù when he had finally confessed he wasn't that knowledgeable about Italian food or their desserts. Sabina had been more than happy to describe each and every one on the menu. Secretly he was ecstatic she was so well informed; he couldn't even pronounce half of them correctly.

He was glad he had listened to her though; it was delicious. Tiramisù was rapidly taking the number one position on his list of favorite desserts. The biscuits soaked in coffee and mascarpone cream provided a delicate but intense flavor that practically melted in his mouth. According to her, liquor was often used in the recipe, but this restaurant made two varieties so that children could enjoy the cake as well.

Sabina may be from Mexico, but she had a thorough knowledge of many different foods and a deep love for Italian. He figured with her family being in catering it was to be expected; Mexican food may be tasty but it was hardly the only food out there. In order to have a successful business her family would have to have a more than passing knowledge in several different ethnic cuisines.

Sabina was quite knowledgeable of Italian food, particularly the desserts. While he had chosen the Tiramisù, she had chosen Cannoli, fried tubes of dough stuffed with a filling that included ricotta cheese and chocolate chips. She had suggested they each get something different so that he could try both and they could share. He had been pleasantly surprised to find that he was proven wrong again; he liked them as well. The shells were filled just prior to them being served, and he was pleasantly surprised to bite into it, noticing how the creamy soft filling contrasted nicely with the lightly flavored crunchy shell.

He was glad he had taken Bugs' suggestion of Tony & Joe's Italian Restaurant.

Used to eating at Chuck E. Cheese and McDonalds because of his siblings' love of garbage food despite the fact it wasn't exactly on the recommended list of places for a diabetic child to eat at, he had no idea where to actually take Sabina. In desperation he had asked Bugs, who had suggested the newer location of the famous restaurant.

He was glad Bugs had suggested anything. The rabbit, while not angry, had seemed upset that Yakko would be going on his first date and bringing Foghorn as the chaperone. In his excitement Yakko hadn't actually thought about the rabbit feeling slighted. Foghorn was a logical choice for many reasons. While Bugs was slightly hurt, Yakko had found out a little later that Bug was also concerned about how Foghorn would handle certain situations.

When pressed, Bugs had finally told him that while Foghorn was one of his best and oldest friends, he could also be a little lax when it came to certain things. Bugs had then shocked him by giving him a rather uncomfortable look before beginning what was one of the most amusing lectures he had ever dreamed of hearing on 'the birds and the bees'. Yakko had finally taken pity on the rabbit by informing him he was thirteen, he knew what sex was. Bugs had further shocked him by simply stating he knew and continued the impromptu sex education class.

For the first time since he had met the rabbit he couldn't wait to get out of that particular class. He planned on taking the girl to dinner and a movie, not marry her. And between the rabbit's face and what was coming out of his mouth Yakko had been having a difficult time not laughing. He only hoped that Bugs hadn't heard him begin chuckling when he finally left his office before almost falling down the stairs he had been laughing so hard.

Unfortunately with Slappy witnessing part of their 'romantic interlude' at the function, he had a feeling that he was going to get a reputation as girl-crazy. The only ones she seemed to have told though was Bugs and Foghorn. While Foghorn seemed to take a more 'boys will be boys' approach, Bugs had decided to take the more logical and educational route. But the rabbit was willing to help, even going so far as going shopping with him to help him decide what to wear.

He was thankful Bugs was helping as much as he was. As calm and cool as he usually was, inwardly Yakko was beginning to panic as the day drew closer. He made mental notes on everything everyone told him. Most of what they were telling him was common sense, but in his nervousness he was afraid of making a blunder. And he knew that someday he'd probably be in Bugs' position with Wakko and having to help him along.

He also knew that one day he'd be in Sabina's father's position with Dot. Thinking about that in that way he couldn't blame the wolf for being a bit wary of him. He hoped that he would be a bit more laid-back when it came to her, but he wasn't sure he would be able to.

A trip to Structure had proven fruitful if a bit expensive. A pair of dark indigo jeans, white oxford shirt and black tie. Bugs had nodded; simple but elegant.

Upon their arrival to the restaurant Foghorn had given him a slight nudge at finally viewing Sabina. And she did look nice, also opting for the simple but elegant look with her white blouse, long black skirt with a long silver chain link belt wrapped loosely around her hips.

Tony & Joe's wasn't a new restaurant, but this location was. Inside the newly completed Harnell Mall, this was the second location for the eatery. The owners had wished to expand from their one location inside Wishing Star District and had quickly taken a small section of the second floor of the mall. While it may have been located in a newly built mall in Aardman District, Tony & Joe's was still full of the old world charm that made the original so famous.

On the way to the mall Foghorn had apparently saw how nervous he really was despite his trying to play it cool because the chicken had given him several humorous accounts of some of his own dates. The chicken had also stopped long enough for him to grab a small bouquet of roses; no matter how much the girl liked you, she'd like you a lot more if you gifted her with flowers he said.

Sabina's father would be bringing her to the mall himself, something that also had made Yakko extremely nervous. Whenever he called to speak to Sabina and her father answered the phone the man tended to growl menacingly at him before grudgingly putting his daughter on the phone.

Luckily Foghorn had stepped in for that too. Upon meeting them, the chicken had winked at Yakko then in his loud boisterous voice had thrown his arm around the wolf's shoulders like they were both old comrades. Foghorn had then led the wolf toward the bar area saying he'd like to buy him a drink. The wolf had growled at Foghorn too but complied and allowed himself to be led away with one final glare at Yakko and a sweet smile to his daughter.

Yakko had to admit, the chicken had been as good as his word; he hadn't seen him appear once during the entire meal. After checking to see where they would be sitting the rooster had gone back to the bar area. All the rooster had required of him was his promise he wouldn't leave the eatery and that he would be 'discreet' and 'use I say use common sense' at anything else that happened.

Yakko watched as Sabina gracefully forked another small piece of Tiramisù into her mouth before glancing around the restaurant.

Upon entering the establishment he and Sabina had been shown to a table in a secluded corner of the restaurant, beneath hand-painted frescos and breathtaking murals showing views of villas and rivers. The tables all had red and white checked tablecloths with a small hurricane lamp centered on it with a flame merrily flickering inside.

Yakko glanced back quickly as their waiter, a thin greyhound toon wearing a black and white tuxedo-style uniform discretely placed the bill on the table near him and made his leave with a slight nod.

He tried to remember all the tips that had been forced down his throat this week by several older toons trying to help; open the door, pull out her chair, find out what she wanted and order for her.

Slappy had suggested he don't pick his nose or 'adjust himself' as well; he hoped she was joking. If not it made him seriously question her taste in men. But she had also made another suggestion; try to pay the bill without being seen, and never ever let her pay, even for the tip. She said that was not the way to be assured of a second date. While he had to question some of her more interesting advice that one seemed sound.

"I must go to the powder room. I shall return shortly," Sabina said.

Getting up she leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips before she sauntered off. He watched her leave before grabbing the black leather bill holder, glancing at the bill and threw two twenty dollar bills inside. It would give the waiter a twenty-five percent tip, but the man deserved it. He had obviously picked up that this was a first date situation and had gone out of his way to be friendly at first before disappearing at the right opportunity, only appearing to check on the food, refill their sodas when needed or offer desert.

Sabina slid into the chair across from him seconds after the waiter came by once again and took the holder. Yakko nodded at him and waved him off.

"You are ready to go?"

Yakko nodded and stood, taking her hand.

"We need to go get Foghorn and your father."

_That'll be a treat. If we're fortunate your father won't make us have a seat separating the two of us in the theater._

"My father," she shrugged. "He will not be pleased at having to sit through this movie. He does not like these sorts of films."

_He's not the only one…_

Figuring that she wanted to see this movie and downing it might not be the best way to stay on her good side he instead said, "There are other movies playing; the theater has seven screens."

"This is true. I will suggest this to him."

"You do that."

_So I don't have to._

Still holding hands he led her to the entrance of the bar and lounge area, and was secretly relieved to see Foghorn and Sabina's father talking at a table and drinking juice. He turned his nose up at a few other patrons drinking their cocktails. Years later and he still had an unnatural fear of alcohol.

Looking up and seeing him, Foghorn nodded and stood, quickly coming to him and pulling him away from Sabina.

"How's it going boy?"

"Great. She still wants to see the movie; that's gotta mean it's going well…right?"

"I would say so boy," Foghorn bellowed, slapping him on the back. "She given you any indication that it's not?"

Yakko shook his head. He was in uncharted territory as far as he could tell. How the hell was he supposed to know what she was thinking?

"Good, I say good boy. Hard to tell what's going on under those big brown peepers. Now, you're taking her to that flick right?"

Yakko nodded. She had wanted to see 'The Three Musketeers'. He sighed, it was opening weekend, this thing was going to be packed, likely with girls just like her squealing at the screen whenever Charlie Sheen or Kiefer Sutherland appeared. Being that they were the stars, he had a feeling he was in for almost two hours of it.

"I've managed to talk her fuzzy father into going into whatever's showing at the next screening over. Now then boy," Foghorn said, putting one massive hand on Yakko's shoulder, "I'm trusting you know - I say - I'm trusting you know how to behave in there-"

Yakko grinned at him, unable to help it. "Sure, buy her popcorn, wait until the lights go down and-"

"Hold hands," Foghorn said. "And don't leave the theater. Need to get a leash for that brother of yours, hoping you don't need one too."

Sniffing Yakko said, "I would like to think I'm a bit more mature than an eight-year-old. Now, can we leave? It'll be starting soon."

"Fine boy, lead the way. Hoping they're playing something halfway interesting in that next theater."

Snickering Yakko went back and grabbed Sabina's hand and smiled at her father, who was still glowering at him but at least wasn't flashing his large pointed teeth. Yet.

Sabina grabbed onto his arm as they began the walk across the mall toward the theater. Passing the roller skating rink 'Dazzles', he and Sabina snickered at the noise and crowd.

He did walk quicker though; Wakko and his goofball friends were no doubt already there. Yesterday was Buster's birthday and he knew the entire troop of children were supposed to be going there for the celebration. Wakko had already said he wanted to have his birthday party next month there.

He hoped both him and Dot were having a good time. Buster had invited him and Dot too, but he obviously had other plans and Dot chose to spend the night with Nurse Miller at her house. She was quite excited about it; Nurse Miller was going to take her shopping along with Molly and Ms. Cunningham. Then she and Nurse Miller were going to go back to her house to watch movies and do whatever it was that girls did. She was going to be cared for and safe which was all he was worried about.

It was going to be weird though; it would be his first night alone in the tower. They'd both be back tomorrow, but it would be odd. On the bright side he wouldn't have to battle anyone for the bathroom.

"I am having a good time Yakko," Sabina said, taking his arm and putting it around her shoulder.

Yakko gave her a gentle squeeze. Another thing Bugs had told him; let her guide the date and how physical she wanted to get. He didn't want Sabina to think he was grabby.

"I am too," he said simply.

"There is a theater near my house, The Finlayson, that shows old movies," she said as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Maybe sometime we can go there; they are advertising that they will show 'Way Out West' and 'Two Tars'."

Yakko nodded happily. He had seen 'Way Out West' many times but had yet to see 'Two Tars'.

But even better than that; she apparently really was having a good time. He had listened to everyone's advice and things were going well.

He was just about guaranteed a second date.

End Chapter 23


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 - Girls

December 18, 1993

_Girls are really weird sometimes_, Wakko thought as he tried to gently pull Babs' arms from around his neck. _They get mad if you don't tell them something, then when you do they start crying and want to hug._

Yakko said within a few years he'd like the hugging. Wakko didn't tell him he sort of liked it now; not all the time like the girls did, but sometimes it was OK.

Like when a few weeks ago he and Plucky had been by the fence with Elmyra and Darkwing had ridden by. He and Plucky had yelled a few insults and waved with a few fingers. Of course Darkwing had to stop and come over to fight with them. Not surprisingly Plucky had tore the costumed clown a new one; Darkwing apparently didn't swear. Plucky though didn't have any problem letting loose with a few words. Darkwing had finally left in a huff while saying something about having to rid the city of evil. But when he had left Elmyra had thrown her arms around Wakko for having to put up with 'feathered freaky'. Plucky had smirked at him but Wakko ignored it.

Right now it wasn't too bad either except that Babs was crying, but they were pretty well hidden in the alley between the buildings housing administration and accounting. Everyone who was on the lot was inside the cafeteria for the studio Christmas party so this was actually an ideal spot. Buster and Max knew where he was going and why and had said they would distract anyone who got too noisy about where he had disappeared to.

With that, Wakko had pulled Babs away from the celebration. Not that anyone noticed anyway. Yakko was talking to Brain and Bugs about something, Dot was attempting to talk to Mindy, but from what Wakko could tell she didn't have a lot more luck than he ever did. That girl was a flake. Dot could be a pain sometimes true, but she was a lot easier to talk to than Mindy. He sometimes wondered if she wasn't just growth challenged; maybe she was mentally challenged too. It would explain a lot.

Babs had seemed curious but amused about being taken away from the party. Her parents were there as were most of the cast's parents with the exception of Max's, but from what Plucky had whispered to him that wasn't surprising. Max's parents were in the Rivera until New Years. The long suffering Jeeves was there though.

Wakko actually sort of liked the butler though he wondered how much abuse the guy had to take from Monty. He felt sort of sorry for Monty too; it had to really suck to have parents that were never around. He sorta knew how that felt but he had Yakko at least. That was better than any parent anyway; Yakko was a lot more fun.

He figured it was about time to tell Babs about the diabetes too; he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she had noticed he wasn't eating all the junk food like everyone else. Maybe he was just getting more comfortable with telling people; none of his friends so far had said one thing negative to him about it. Maybe he was just tired of thinking of excuses.

Besides, he wanted to give the two girls their Christmas presents. He had bought something for both of them, but like the other boys, wasn't really comfortable giving it to them in front of everyone else.

He didn't know why that was; on their birthdays they all exchanged the gifts freely without a second thought about who got what for anyone else. Elmyra had given him a new baseball hat because she said he wore his red one too much. He had pulled the 'Los Angeles Dodgers' hat out and put it on his head right at the rink without a second thought. Same when Babs had given Buster a new watch on his birthday; the rabbit had slapped it on his wrist without so much asa glance.

On Christmas though they all got sort of weird. Not with each other; Max had thrust his gift into his hands as roughly as Wakko had thrown Max's gift at him.

But with the girls though they snuck around more. Wakko had kept watch in the hallway when Buster had cornered Babs and Elmyra there to give them their gifts. Max had waited in the parking lot and simply shoved their gifts in their startled arms before turning around and walking away. Plucky had walked by when they had been eating and just tossed it in their laps.

Elmyra had been trying to cling to his arm the entire day after giving him his present, some sort of cookie she had said was an 'angel macaroon'. He had lost interest when she was giving him the recipe; something about angel food, unsweetened coconut and sugar-free strawberry soda. All he cared about was that he could eat them. And the fact that she once again went out of her way to make him something different; everyone else got chocolate chip cookies.

And Elmyra apparently could cook; her cookies were good. He had to wrestle them away from Max who was steadily moving through the entire tin. Wakko had to finally hide them in his hammerspace to keep the other toon off them.

Max wasn't too perturbed; he went to trying to eat all the ribbon candy and trying to hit Plucky in the head with sugar cookies.

But Elmyra had watched Wakko talking to Babs before following along; he wasn't sure why about that either. She obviously already knew what he was going to tell the pink bunny but he was sort of happy she came anyway.

Elmyra had actually been encouraging when Wakko had mentioned telling Babs; as nutty as she was he did count Babs as one of his closer friends. Not as close as Buster or any of the guys, but he did play with her often when they were all at the lot. And she was really smart and one of the more talented among the kids at 'spin-changes'.

Foghorn was just starting to introduce it to him; he hadn't even tried it yet because they were still working on the theory of it. It combined a bit of 'dust-deviling', Fritzing and super quick hands. That was on top of the incredible amounts of concentration and rearranging the atoms and molecules and a bunch of science mumbo-jumbo he didn't understand so that whatever outfit you currently had on temporarily went into your hammerspace.

He honestly had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. Foghorn hadn't seemed too surprised really; he said it took years to perfect it.

Babs didn't have it perfected, not by a long shot, but she had the basic concepts down and seemed able to speak about it halfway intelligently. And she was willing to help him with his homework which was really great; at least his answers were right. In turn he helped her with her piano; they would all occasionally sneak into the music room in the tutoring building when no one was around because Plucky was able to pick the lock and they would all have impromptu 'jam' sessions as Buster called them.

It was interesting; with both Buster and Max playing guitar and Plucky playing drums and them convincing him to sing every now and then it was like having their own personal rock band. Babs would sing a lot too and that was OK; she was better at it.

Plucky had even shown him a few things on drums. It hadn't been hard to get Plucky to show him anything either; a few compliments to the duck and he was willing to show you just about anything he knew if only so he could brag about what he did know for a few minutes. Since Plucky was his friend and he was really good at drums Wakko stayed silent and just listened to him.

Babs may not be very good at the piano, but she was really good at the flute, one of the extra classes she had chosen for herself and something that Wakko could respect. He respected any musical talent actually, but he held a special spot for flute. One day he might learn to play that too. But not now; Yakko had found him his harp tutor. He had struggled to keep his grades high, well, high enough to keep Yakko happy anyway.

His music lessons were no big deal, unlike English he actually enjoyed them and he had no problem keeping those grades high.

Yakko had also given him his Christmas gift early; a harp. That made sense though; what good would a harp tutor do him if he didn't have a harp himself?

Yakko had, with the tutor's suggestions, bought him a good beginner's harp. It was smaller than a normal orchestra harp, but he was told he would grow into the bigger harps as he got older. An orchestra harp now would be too big for him with not only the weight of the instrument but also how far he would have to stretch to reach for the strings.

This one was big enough; while not full size it was still a floor model that wouldn't be moved on a regular basis. It was in the corner of their bedroom where it would probably stay. And it was a nice one; it was a twenty-two stringed model and had a range from 'C' below, middle 'C' up to high 'C'. Even Dot said it was pretty with the vine design engraved on the rosewood frame.

His first lesson had been last week; the tutor would come to the tower for two hours on early Sunday evenings. Wakko was ecstatic he was getting his lessons, but a bit upset that it cut into his time at Buster's. The older Bunny had to drive him back a lot earlier because of it. Wakko supposed it was a fair tradeoff; he lost a few hours at Buster's, but he was learning a rather complicated instrument. The first lesson hadn't been bad but it was a bit boring; all they had talked about was notes and how to tune it and take care of it.

"Oh Wakko," Babs sniffed while still clinging to his neck, "I'm so…happy you trust me-"

"Yeah, OK Babs," he said and again tried to pry her off him. "Let go of my neck now."

She didn't and he bit his lip, worried. If he had known the pink rabbit was going to get this emotional he wouldn't have told her. He had actually been expecting a joke or gag from her, not for her to burst into tears at being told he had diabetes.

It was odd how everyone reacted when he told them; Buster had only been annoyed at not being told sooner before accepting it and then attempting to learn everything he could about it. Max and Plucky had both accepted it, had learned enough about it so they weren't overly worried about it and then seemed to put it from their mind, only occasionally asking him a question. Calamity was accepting of it; he had his own handicap too that his friends accepted, why would he judge anyone? Elmyra had tried to give him a 'safe' Halloween despite his never telling her anything.

And now, Babs was crying, her big blue eyes overfilling and currently sobbing into his neck and getting the collar of his jacket wet.

True, she was crying because he had shared his 'big secret' with her and in between her wails of happiness she was screaming in his ear how worried she was about him now and that she was happy she was included in his trusted group along with Elmyra and 'the other idiots'. He had to scowl at that; those 'other idiots' were his friends; hers too.

Yakko warned him that girls tended to get a bit emotional around the holidays though. If Wakko chose to tell Babs a week before Christmas that was his decision and he respected it, but he would have to expect she might get all weepy and clingy. Wakko hoped the carrot-cake he bought her for Christmas would make her smile again. He hadn't really known what to get her or Elmyra; boys were a lot easier to shop for. Yakko said chocolate always made girls happy.

That would make Elmyra happy; she loved chocolate but he had bought her something else that he hoped she'd like.

But Babs was a bunny toon and he knew she adored carrot cake; she would typically throw a fit if the cafeteria sold out before she got there. He and the other boys usually got there before the girls and Babs would get so mad if she didn't get her cake fix that Buster usually bought a piece for her if there was only a few slices left and the girls weren't around. He said it was less of a headache to fork over the two dollars the slice cost rather than listen to Babs shriek like a dental drill if she didn't have it.

Wakko didn't care for it; no dessert should have the name of a vegetable in it.

He looked over the now sniffing Babs' shoulder and caught Elmyra's eye as she watched with a weird look on her face. She sort of looked like she was mad, then at the same time she looked happy. He wondered what her problem was; despite her and Babs' differing personalities, both girls were the best of friends. But now she had been really quiet ever since coming into the alleyway. She had thought it was just ducky that 'the cutie fuzzy head' was going to tell 'the pink fuzzy head' what he had.

He still wasn't happy with it, but he had come to terms with it. It obviously wasn't going away no matter how much he tried to wish it would. It was a pain, he couldn't eat half the stuff he wanted to; hell, he couldn't even have a normal birthday cake. But Slappy had taken care of that; apparently he could eat angel food cake and she had made him one. She had even made a frosting out of sugar free dessert topping and candy and had decorated it for him.

Surprisingly it was very good and none of the people at the party had said anything negative about it whether they knew about his 'problem' or not. Only Babs had been surprised he didn't have one of the ultra-sweet sheet cakes like all the other kids had. A few words from Buster asking if she wanted to skate had distracted her though and she hadn't asked anything further about it.

Wakko was happy about that; it gave him the opportunity to actually decide how he was going to tell her. As he got more comfortable with it he was willing to tell more people, like Babs, but sometimes it took him awhile on how he was going to tell them. Calamity he hadn't exactly planned on telling and had just sort of blurted it out; it was a bit easier though because he had the others beside him and he knew the coyote wouldn't be judgmental.

The coyote had always seemed grateful that none of them were; apparently some kids were and had said nasty things about him which made Wakko a bit angry. The guy couldn't hear sure, but he was probably the smartest kid he had ever met, not to mention friendly and with a wicked sense of humor. Now that he was able to sign better than ever Wakko tended to forget Calamity was deaf a lot. Talking with his mouth and his hands whenever he was around the coyote was almost second nature to him.

Elmyra had figured it out on her own, or with some help anyway, but that was OK, he supposed he would have told her eventually. He hated being so secretive about it. Matthew, his diabetes counselor had said that was OK, lots of kids kept it a secret for awhile, but eventually they got comfortable enough about it that they didn't anymore. Wakko couldn't wait for that day; he was tired of all this sneaking around to check his glucose.

Dot had made a good point awhile ago when they were eating; he was a star, or on his way to becoming one. Lots of kids had diabetes; he could probably help bring more attention and focus to the disease with his own problems with it. Yakko had thought it was a good idea too, though he wasn't as pushy as Dot about it.

It didn't sound like a bad idea; more focus, more people caring about it and doing something about it could help bring about a cure maybe, and that would be good. He just didn't see himself doing something like that. He had a feeling it would be awhile until he was. Until then he had to content himself with dealing with it in secret or around his friends.

Yakko was giving him a little more freedom; he wasn't showing up as often to check his glucose, though he still did pop up to do spot checks. But at least he was trusting him to deal with it on his own a bit more.

"Come on Babs," he tried again. "I'm not dying-"

"Yeah pink cutie-head," Elmyra said, stepping in and pulling Babs off him. "He thought you'd be happy because you know."

"I am happy," she sniffed and finally let go of Wakko's neck. "But I got you brownies for Christmas."

Seeing her looking upset again he quickly said, "It's OK! I can eat a few of them; I just have to adjust my diet a little."

Well, probably a lot, but she didn't need to know that. She was finally giving him a watery smile, no way he was saying anything different and getting her crying again.

He sighed in relief. For some reason girls felt like they could only make their point if they hugged. She still looked kinda upset though which didn't make him real happy. If anyone walked past the alleyway and looked in they would probably think he was being mean to her. Not likely, Babs could take care of herself, but still, he didn't want to get a reputation for being mean to girls.

"Hey, look, I got you a present," he said nervously while reaching back into his hammerspace. "It's not much-"

Babs spied the butter-yellow box of the well known bakery on Melrose Avenue and quickly turned her frown upside down. With a happy squeal she yanked the box out of his hand and held it up with the same pride she would have held up the Olympic Torch.

Wakko watched as her pink fingers traced the silver scroll on the box before lifting the lid to peek in at the nine inch cake, coated with cream cheese frosting and toasted coconuts with the delicate butter cream roses adorning it.

"Thank you," she happily sniffed. "I always thought you were some stupid pig just worried about burping and farting and running around being an ass with those others but now…with this…"

"Stupid pig? Who else do you know that can burp _The Blue Daunbe_ and play it on a violin?" He asked, a bit annoyed. Playing that song in two different mediums was impressive.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it chalk-face, " she said snidely, flicking him on the base of his ear and almost knocking his hat off.

_So much for being worried I was dying._

"Besides I've never seen you play it with anything except your throat," she continued. "Be nice if you actually tried playing it correctly instead of trying to disgust all of us with your other talent."

He rubbed his ear while straightening his cap and shot her a glare. She had thought it was funny when he did it before. Hell, he and Buster had done a duet at the lunch table last week much to everyone's amusement, well, except Fifi, Shirley and Hampton. They weren't a lot of fun most times though so it wasn't surprising.

"You've heard me play! You were at that stupid dance thing too!"

He hadn't been too thrilled about having to go to the dance recital, even if Dot was dancing in it. If he was just going to watch her it would have been fine and probably over a lot quicker. But it wasn't just Dot dancing.

No, apparently every girl and hilariously enough a few boys in ToonTown were there demonstrating a wide variety of dancing styles, all of them very dull.

Wile had managed to convince him to play there as well. He had been told it was a dance recital only but apparently it was a 'holiday extravaganza', which meant it was dancing and music. Wile had spoken to him about it a few times but Wakko had always talked himself out of it, not really wanting to be 'live'. Sometimes he was nervous enough on the set when he had studied a script for a week or more.

He had changed his mind when he heard that Babs would be doing a flute solo. Actually she had helped change his mind, saying she really wanted to hear him play. It hadn't been bad at all; he got as much applause as anyone else and Yakko was happy because he got to sit in the audience with all the adults and snap off pictures of them.

Even Elmyra had been in it; she was a dance student too, though she did Irish Step dancing. And Buster and his father had come along to watch and offer moral support. And to make cracks; Buster had a strange habit of offering support and making fun of them at the same time.

Luckily Wile had chosen an easier piece for him to play since he was deciding to do it so late; 'As With the Gladness Men of Old', a simple piece dating from the Romantic period of English composition. Wile said that maybe next year he could do something more difficult, maybe even play while someone sang.

"The cuddlys shouldn't fight," Elmyra said, finally coming up behind Babs and pulling her off Wakko's jacket.

"Yeah Pinkie; be nice or I'll take your cake back."

"Don't you dare," she said. "Hard to play anything with a broken hand."

That was true. Babs would do it too.

"Uh…Elmyra, I got something for you too," he said, pulling out a small box.

He really hoped she'd like it. It had taken him forever to find something for her. Shopping for just Dot sometimes was hard; shopping for other girls too was almost impossible. He was glad Babs was happy with the cake; it was sorta expensive. So was Elmyra's actually; he was glad Yakko let him and Dot do extra stuff to earn more money or he wouldn't have been able to buy anything.

"For me cuddly head? Oh thank you!" she exclaimed, taking the box and ripping it open.

He was sort of sorry he bothered wrapping it now; Elmyra hadn't said anything about the reindeer paper.

She wasn't saying anything now either; just staring at the snow globe in her hand. It wasn't really big, but he thought she would like it. He knew she had a golden retriever since she talked about him constantly. When he had seen the snow globe with a figurine of the dog breed in it with the simple maple base he had thought she would like it. He got it at the gift shop where he bought Dot's present, a porcelain unicorn, all snowy white except for the golden tip and hooves. Maybe neither of the gifts was a good idea.

She wasn't saying anything; maybe she didn't like it. He watched as she turned it upside down and held the dome in front of her face as the snow inside sprinkled down around the figurine.

Maybe she was confused? No, that was stupid, no one got confused at a snow globe. She didn't seem confused; he was though. Did she like it? Did she hate it? Why did girls have to be so weird? Couldn't she just say 'thank you' like Babs had?

"Um, it plays music…'You've Got A Friend'…you know…if you wind it up."

Elmyra finally looked up, nodded and began turning the small key at the bottom so the notes tinkled out in the melody.

"If you don't like it I can take it back-"

He cut off as Elmyra threw her arms around his neck.

"No cute-cuddly I love it! My favorite cutie-furry in a little bitty glass globe given to me by my other favorite cutie-furry!"

Well, she was back to her weird but sort of charming baby talk so she must be happy.

"Faboo. 'Myra, glad you like it," he said while trying to pull her arms off his neck.

This was probably why all the guys gave the girls their gifts in private. If not you'd be laughed out of the party by the other guys if they saw it. Even though the girls would probably do the same thing to them.

"I love it fuzzy-head! I'm gonna show it to everyone right now!"

_Oh great._

"Hold on 'Myra," Babs said, stopping her from running out of the alley. "Oh Wakko…"

He didn't like the sound of that. When girls called your name then trailed off it usually meant they wanted something.

"Before we leave, I thought maybe you could play _The Blue Daunbe_ for me? Correctly." she added when Wakko went to open his mouth.

_Darn. Hoped I could just belch it._

He hesitated, thinking.

His violin was up in the tower; he wondered if Yakko would care if Babs and Elmyra came up. He could Fritz one probably, but no instrument Fritzed ever had the same quality and tone as a real one. Not to mention most of his stuff didn't last that long, though he was pretty sure he could have it last through the song.

Both girls could Chuck themselves if need be in case of a slip; Yakko was always worried about someone falling. He had finally laid off on the whole parachute thing with him. Wakko had been working on it forever. Dot was still mad she had to wear one, but she was a lot younger; she wouldn't be able to perfect it for awhile yet.

"Please Wakko? It's my favorite."

"Oh yeah!" Elmyra added. "I wanna hear my cuddly-head play a song again! And I wanna see your harp."

When Wakko didn't answer Elmyra added a 'please' while batting her eyes and he sighed. He supposed it couldn't cause any real harm.

"Fine, come on then," he sighed while hoping no one saw them. Last thing he needed was for the guys to see him walking off with not just one girl but two. He'd never hear the end of that.

Not to mention breaking rule number six on Yakko's list. No sense in getting him mad about that. If he was going to get in trouble he'd rather if be for something cool.

XXXXXXXXXX

December 19, 1993

_One year. Unbelievable._

Settling back into the couch, Yakko shifted Dot higher on his lap while putting his arm around Wakko and pulling him closer.

_Funny how life works; one minute you're trying to raise two younger siblings in the streets, the next minute things go topsy-turvey and you're up-and-coming television stars._

Or just television stars, not really up-and-comers now. Their show had been national for four months and they were getting pretty well known. Whenever any one of them left the lot they were getting approached more often for autographs or interviews. It wasn't enough to be annoying; Dot enjoyed it though she got asked less often of the three of them.

He and Wakko were approached more, though Wakko did say it still made him a bit uncomfortable. He had said something about it in front of Buster and surprisingly the blue bunny had been sympathetic; he said he tended not to like the nonstop publicity either, something that had surprised Yakko. He thought the rabbit enjoyed it. He knew Plucky did; the egotistical duck firmly believed in the phrase 'no publicity is bad publicity'. Max didn't seem to care much one way or the other, but he was used to it; his family had been in the spotlight in ToonTown since before he was born.

He knew both Molly and Ms. Cunningham of course loved it. Molly was just like Dot; both loved being the center of attention. Ms. Cunningham, while usually charmed with the compliments also had other motives; more attention meant more potential work for her clients, therefore more money for business. He didn't begrudge her the thinking; it was sound business sense.

Bugs, Foghorn, Wile…all of them were so used to it now they hardly blinked when they were asked, they simply smiled and complied.

He wasn't sure how he felt about it; he supposed he liked it. It was certainly complimentary when anyone came up and said they enjoyed watching his show and wanted his autograph or wanted to pose for a picture with him. Having people say they thought he was one of the most talented toons they had seen or complimenting him on his singing. Or even better, the older fans that complimented him on his other full-time and more important job of taking care of Wakko and Dot - those were the best compliments.

Every now and then someone came up and still wanted to make a crack about something from the past, asking about the thefts or his parents, but they were becoming few and far between. And usually from some schmuck who thought he was a huge wit; after a few words from Yakko they tended to back off, sometimes tossing a final rude comment over their shoulder.

Bugs said he always handled himself well though and told him to always handle himself in that fashion. In time any of the questionable press they received early on would be forgotten and the only thing people would remember was reading that he was always known as friendly and willing to spend a few minutes with any fan.

He shook his head; a year he had known these toons, all great names and he was still slightly overwhelmed. On this day last year if he had been told that the name 'Bugs Bunny' would roll off his tongue with the same familiarity as his own he would have laughed at whoever told him that while trying to carefully slip away from that person.

He settled back into the couch as their theme song came on. Funny how that was; they worked for a week and in a few cases two filming their skits and shorts. They all had certain ones still memorized, or large portions of them anyway. Yet on Sunday night they still gathered on the couch together; first to watch the lead in of 'Tiny Toons' then their own show. It was sort of becoming a weekly ritual now which was fine with him. With the past they had getting some family rituals or traditions wasn't exactly a bad thing.

The new episodes of 'Tiny Toons' were no longer shown on national television; unfortunately the humans had to be content with reruns. But the new episodes being filmed were all shown in ToonTown. Buster and a few of the others still had several years left on contracts; Yakko supposed though that a few of them would probably opt not to renew their contracts when that time came. Buster wasn't the only one making some noise of being tired of the stress of the constant shoots.

Like the cast of 'Tiny Toons', the cast of 'Animaniacs' was on holiday break until mid-January. That was one thing Yakko couldn't complain about; a nice long holiday break. It had been a hectic year and the thought of a month off was somewhat frightening with the excessive amount of free time and exhilarating at the same time.

They had even filmed a few Christmas themed episodes that had oddly enough been shown at the end of November. He shrugged; in the year he had been at the studio he had figured out something else too; there was simply no reasoning behind what the studio or the networks did. Trying to figure the logic behind anything they did was an exercise in futility.

They had partially filmed a short that was going to be in a movie theater. Not on television, in a real film in a real movie theater. He was actually excited about that, more excited than nervous with this new venture.

The studio was sparing no expense with the short either even if the premise was simple enough; he and his siblings bickering during a car trip with Dr. Scratchansniff to a circus. It had actually been a great deal of fun so far, what they had filmed. They had even gone to a real circus as well for those final scenes; after they had filmed what they needed Scratchy had volunteered to stay there so they could actually go.

At times Scratchy wasn't that bad. He didn't know if he counted the man among his closest friends and Yakko didn't care for the doctor's habit of analyzing everything that came out of every person's mouth but he supposed that was just the way he was. The man was a head-shrink; he over-analyzed everything.

They had never been to a circus before and he had a difficult time restraining Wakko and Dot from running wild. He had a difficult time restraining himself. And Scratchy hadn't tried to analyze too much this time; he had actually appeared to have a good time himself, even speaking of his own background briefly. Yakko had felt a great deal of pity for the man; he had lost Hildagarde, his wife of twenty-seven years to a rare blood disease. He had an adult daughter living in Die Stadt von Cartoons in his native Austria.

He was finding himself liking the doctor a great deal more than he had originally. He hadn't hated the man of course, but he really hadn't respected him much either. He was forced to say that he was changing that opinion.

He had even been tolerable at the studio holiday party, entertaining the children for awhile about Christmas traditions from his country.

The studio had thrown a decent holiday party, complete with Ralph in the same Santa suit he had worn in the 'Twas the Day Before Christmas' skit they had filmed. He didn't look any better in it now than he had then, but the guy did try; he ran around playing with everyone and had even went out and bought all the children on the lot chocolate Santas that he handed to each child as he greeted them.

Yakko had watched when Ralph had given Wakko one, once again his heart going out to his brother. Yet another celebration that they would have to work their way though.

He noticed that Wakko seemed to be more at ease about his 'problem', becoming more comfortable with discussing it though he still rarely used the word 'diabetes'. He still hadn't told many people; he had informed Yakko on Halloween night that he had finally told Calamity and he had told Babs yesterday.

Yakko was more surprised that out of all the kids, Elmyra was the only one who had figured it out herself. Well, not by herself, but she was the only one who noticed enough to go to someone who could tell her what was wrong.

Unknowingly she had actually gained a bit of respect from Yakko; he would certainly give kudos to anyone who had that sharp an eye, even if she was one of the bigger flakes on the lot.

He had to have a long talk with Wakko though; he had brought both Elmyra and Babs up to the tower to play them a song and to show off his new harp. Not that Yakko had any problem with that, but he did have a problem with his bringing two girls into his bedroom by himself. He was going to get a reputation as a 'playa' at the age of nine if he kept that up. On the bright side at least he was popular with the girls.

Yakko had tried to explain that it wasn't appropriate without getting into too much detail. At nine he didn't think Wakko needed a lot of information, just enough to know it was unacceptable.

Wakko had pushed though and had surprised him when he asked a couple of questions about a few terms he had heard around the lot. After a brief internal debate Yakko had hesitantly started a short conversation about sex. A very basic conversation; it would do no good to lie to him, but he also didn't need long graphic descriptions either. He had known basically what it was at nine and he hadn't exactly been surrounded by other boys; it was hardly surprising that Wakko would have questions. As always, short concise answers worked with Wakko and ten minutes later he had said he wouldn't bring them up again unless Yakko was there too and then wandered off to play a video game.

Yakko had actually been quite pleased with himself. Wakko was obviously comfortable coming to him to ask questions instead of listening to what anyone else was telling him. He now had a basic understanding; Yakko could fill in the gaps later for him as he got older. And hopefully if Wakko was comfortable coming to him now he would continue to do so. And as she grew older Dot would hopefully come to him as well. When they needed to know about it he'd rather they come to him; who knew what someone else would tell them. While probably not going to be the most pleasant of conversations he could at least be assured they got the right information.

Yakko moved slightly on the couch and tried to adjust Dot higher on his lap. She was hardly what he'd call heavy but her weight was cutting off blood flow and he felt his leg going to sleep.

He couldn't wait until Christmas just so he could give her her present. It had taken a lot of finagling and talking to Plotz and Porky and Ms. Cunningham but he had managed to do it. Beginning in January, every Saturday Dot would begin to take horseback riding lessons. She would be taking them at the same stable as Molly took hers, Dar-Shan Stables. Like Molly she would begin to start on a pony and as she grew older and taller and stronger she would go to a horse.

Yakko was pretty sure she wouldn't care; if it had four legs, hooves and whinnied he knew she would be happy. He had already gotten her a helmet and a pair of paddock boots. Despite the fact that they never wore shoes, Dot would be required to wear boots while she was riding. He was told at this time to not waste money on any actual riding outfits. With her just starting out Sara, a co-owner of Dar-Shan Stables said it would be prudent to wait and see if Dot liked it and was willing to stick with it before spending any further money.

Yakko appreciated the woman's honesty even if he knew she was wrong. He had a feeling that Dot would stick with riding for a long time. She had never really fussed much, but he knew she was jealous of Molly for being able to take the lessons.

Now, Dot would have her own lessons. He had paid the stable for her first three months. If Dot liked it and wanted to continue he would make the additional arrangements then. He owed a lot to Ms. Cunningham though; the woman had said she would take Dot when she was able. Porky had agreed to be a backup chaperone in the event Ms. Cunningham was unable to take Dot for some reason. Plotz had grudgingly said he would approve it for the three months only on the Saturday for a few hours. Yakko had a feeling Plotz had done that so he would stop harassing him though; until he got the man's yes he had not left him alone, sometimes going so far as following him to his car at night.

He had to admit, it was a lot better present load for his siblings than last year's shirts. And both Wakko and Dot's presents were educational, something they could actually use the rest of their lives.

As he moved again trying to get comfortable he caught sight of the plaid flannel shirt Sabina had given him.

He had been a bit surprised; he had been told jewelry and clothing was a bit too 'familiar' for a first Christmas present. He didn't care, it was a nice shirt, very in fashion as far as the 'grunge' movement went, plus it was warm and actually had a slight scent of her on it; she only wore 'Poison' from Christian Dior. He actually liked it. She only wore the strong sent sparingly and instead of being overbearing and cloying it instead was a subtle, sweet and seductive aroma.

While Sabina had good taste, it was hardly cheap. He had tossed around the idea of buying her a bottle but decided against it, not only for the cost but again he was told it might be too 'familiar'.

He decided to err on the side of caution; almost all of his advice was coming from toons decades older than him. He asked Kit for a few ideas but since his suggestions included racy lingerie along with a few highly amusing but wholly inappropriate items he decided to disregard anything the bear said.

At best he was afraid of getting slapped by Sabina. At worst he was afraid of getting mauled by her father.

He had finally decided on a watch which seemed to sit well with most everyone; it was 'jewelry' enough for a girl, but 'practical and unromantic' enough for the older toons to accept. Sabina's eyes had lit up when she opened the box; either she really liked it or she really needed a watch.

It was hard, but they had been able to go out a couple of times though they talked almost nightly on the phone. There were some scheduling conflicts despite Foghorn's best efforts to be available on Saturdays so he could escort them around. And the rooster was sticking to what he said; he did try to stay out of the way as much as possible.

Sabina had come to the lot once with her father. Yakko had shown her around a bit, she got to meet Bugs who had nodded in approval at her when she had turned her back.

That actually meant quite a bit to Yakko; he did want the rabbit's approval and if Bugs approved of her he knew he had a decent catch. Bugs had also spoken briefly to her father, which he also had a feeling helped in the lessening of the growling and threats muttered under his breath.

Meeting some of these older stars seemed to have calmed her father down some. Yakko wouldn't call the man friendly, but he did growl and sneer at him considerably less often than he first had. He still didn't like being left alone with him too long; when the man wasn't sneering and snarling he had the same rigidness and unwavering stoic stare as an Easter Island statue.

Yakko had a suspicion that the fact that he really couldn't see his daughter without a chaperone almost constantly by his side was the number one reason the wolf was beginning to accept him, even grudgingly. Plus he did watch over two younger siblings; that had to earn him some 'responsibility' points.

He did take notes from the man though; if the guy was making him feel that ill at ease, he could later use it down the road when the guys were crawling after Dot.

While Wakko still thought it was 'gross', Dot thought it was 'sweet and romantic'. She had even asked him if he loved Sabina.

He had been surprised by the question. Did he love her?

He had told Dot he was fond of her and he really liked her, which Dot seemed to accept thankfully. But it gave him yet another question to ponder.

Did he love her?

He didn't like to bandy that word around; love. It was a strong word. But he wasn't real sure it was love.

It could be; every time he had a free moment his mind would think about her, what she was doing or whether she was thinking about him too. He got to see her occasionally but it was never enough, and while he enjoyed the phone conversations he actually yearned to have physical interaction with her.

He didn't think it was love in the sense that Dot was thinking, with romantic carriage rides or staring at each other longingly over a plate of spaghetti a la 'Lady and the Tramp'.

Sabina still swooned over that song 'To be With You'; he still thought it was trite and dull. The words would seem to indicate though that if he was in love he would probably like it a lot more. When it came on at the skating rink at Wakko's birthday party he had actually gone and hid in the bathroom in order to not hear the song.

No, he was reasonably sure it wasn't 'love'. But he could safely say he was fond of her.

XXXXXXXXXX

January 17, 1994

"Yaaaaaaakkoooooooo!"

Yakko heard Dot's scream as he had jumped up in bed himself, slamming his head into the bottom of Wakko's bunk and looked at the clock on the nightstand while muttering a few curses very quietly.

_Four-thirty-one A.M._

Groggy and with a pounding head he scrambled out of bed - almost propelled out of it actually with the violence that it was shaking. He was trying to wake up; he knew exactly what was going on.

An earthquake. And they were in a hundred-foot water tower that at this moment was beginning to sway. He heard several small crashes and tinkling sounds coming from the kitchen area and in the back of his still sleep-addled mind he knew he was going to have to buy more plates.

Living in California, he was quite used to earthquakes, or the potential for earthquakes anyway. They all were; hell, occasionally some channel or newspaper, whether human or toon written would run a small feature on earthquake preparedness. He usually skimmed the article just in case something new came up. He had never actually lived though a major one; most times it was a slight rumble, barely noticeable. The last major earthquake in the area had happened years before he was born and ToonTown had sustained no damage.

He had a feeling this one might be slightly different, for Los Angeles anyway.

Looking up he could see the bunk bed swaying and Wakko's frightened face looking at him over the edge of the bed, his small face almost glowing with an eerie pallor.

Moving quickly Yakko reached up and snatched Wakko off the bed and dragged him down, bedding and all and took off toward Dot's room. They couldn't leave the tower; that would be a dangerous and foolish move. He knew technically you weren't supposed to move around if there was an earthquake happening but he could heard Dot's screaming and loud whimpering and he couldn't leave her alone.

Ignoring Wakko's questions and protests Yakko ran to their bedroom door, almost tripping on the blanket still entangled around Wakko's body. Already trying to Chuck his body in anticipation of anything falling he ordered Wakko to do the same. Wakko wasn't great at it yet, he could only do it for a few seconds but it was something he could do to try to protect himself and Yakko figured if he had something to do, to try to exercise some control over the situation he wouldn't be as frightened.

Yakko wrenched open the door and ran down the hallway, hearing a few more items breaking in the kitchen and noticing that the floor felt like it had the consistency of Jell-O at the moment.

Stumbling to Dot's door he thrust it open and saw her sitting up in her bed sobbing while she clutched Cupcake, a small dark figure half hidden in the ruffles and other stuffed animals bouncing around.

Terrified himself but not wanting to frighten his siblings more than necessary he threw Wakko on the bed with Dot where they clung to one another. He forced them both down before laying on top of them and pulling the covers over them just as he felt the tower give a violent lurch and felt something small and sharp hit him in the back. A few seconds later he felt small pellets begin raining down on the blankets. If anything fell_**, **_like the dresser close to Dot's bed, it would at least hit him instead of them.

Feeling Wakko and Dot trembling underneath him and hearing rumblings and shakings he tried to push down his own fear that was beginning to creep in. He hated earthquakes. Sure, everyone hated them, but he had rarely experienced this amount of helplessness before.

There was nothing he could do to stop it or fix it; all he could do was murmur to his siblings that it was OK, he was there, they were all together and they'd be fine even though he had no idea if that was true or not. For all he knew the tower was about to keel over at any minute. Hell, with the way his mind was working all of L.A. was leveled and their water tower was the only thing standing.

Hoping this was some sort of nightmare from eating too many Pop-Tarts too late at night he squeezed his siblings harder. He was never eating Pop-Tarts again, at least not at night. From now on, strictly a breakfast food.

He hoped all their friends were OK. He hoped no one died, even if they didn't know them.

He hoped ToonTown wasn't affected. He hoped Sabina was OK.

They probably weren't going to be doing any filming today.

He hoped the tower would stand. They were getting out of there as soon as the Earth was kind enough to stop moving.

He hoped they didn't end up as a statistic on the page of some paper.

He felt it gradually stopping, a few rumbles and waves and it began to settle down. He knew in all actuality most earthquakes lasted only a few seconds; this one seemed longer; maybe because he was actually right in the middle of it.

He wasn't taking any chances though; he wasn't moving for a few minutes at least. While the earthquake may be over, aftershocks often could cause as much if not more damage than the quake itself, especially if the tower had taken any heavy damage.

Dot was still crying softly, a quiet mewling sound and he gingerly sat up, hearing debris falling off the sheets above him and pulled her and Wakko into his lap. He started slightly as something dropped onto the floor behind him.

"Hey, it's OK Dot. I think it's over," he whispered while reaching around to his hammerspace. After a second he was able to find the opening; after a bad shock or fright sometimes it could be hard to access it. He didn't feel too guilty about that though; an earthquake qualified as a bad fright. He thought about his flashlight and felt a small bit of relief when it materialized in his hand.

Another thing he had always read in every earthquake preparedness article; have an emergency kit and keep it handy. You just couldn't get much handier than your own hammerspace. He pushed the rubber button on the yellow body and was happy to see their little tent of pink sheets flood with light.

"And everyone's OK-"

"How do you know?" She sniffed.

She had a point.

"I'm going to go check a few things; then we're getting out of the tower until this place is checked by an engineering crew or whoever comes to look at this stuff."

Wakko craned his head around to look at him.

"Want me to go check? I heard stuff break."

"No," Yakko said firmly. "I want you to stay here with Dot. I'll go check."

"No! No don't leave us!" Dot screamed, clinging to him.

He really didn't want to drag them around the tower, especially if there was a chance it was now structurally unsound, but she already looked traumatized enough. Wakko looked scared but he was struggling to at least look calm. Currently he was biting on his lip, a clear indication that he was as frightened as Yakko was.

Dot looked petrified; she was no longer crying but her eyes were wide and hollow looking, showing how terrified she really was.

He sighed; maybe it would be better if they all stayed together. Dot seemed reasonably calm if he was actually holding her. Wakko was trying to put on a brave face but was obviously still terrified; Yakko put his arm around his brother's shoulders briefly before nodding.

If the tower had sustained any damaged, they were probably in just as much danger hiding in Dot's bed as they would be walking around. They were still getting out of the tower though.

"Fine, let's go try to access any damage so we can report to the studio, though I have a feeling they're going to have more damage than a water tower to worry about."

_Even if the tower is our home._

He carefully began to move the bedding off them so he could look around the room. He coughed slightly; the sheets were coated in plaster dust from the high ceiling. He tried to avoid inhaling most of it.

Several loose items had shifted or fallen, but it looked like Dot's room had managed to stay relatively unscathed. He moved the flashlight around to look at the high ceiling. That would have to be redone. He quickly hustled Wakko off the bed while he carried Dot; the plaster from the ceiling may be light but he still didn't want it falling on them.

Getting near the door he felt a slight tremor and he grabbed Wakko quickly, standing in the doorway. He wasn't sure if this particular doorway would actually protect them, but it was the best they had at the moment. After a few seconds he flipped the light switch and wasn't terribly surprised when the lights didn't come on. Power outages were probably widespread.

Wondering how bad this earthquake really was he moved over to Dot's closet while she clung to him to grab clothing for her. He still wanted to get dressed and get out of the tower until the sun came up and they could get a professional out there to look at their home. He didn't care what TP said or how much he complained about the cost. He wasn't risking his siblings or his own life until a professional looked at it even if he had to hire and pay for one himself.

Handing the clothing to Dot to hold he grabbed Wakko's hand. For once he didn't try to pull it away saying he wasn't a baby anymore; he held it and docilely followed Yakko back down the hallway to their room.

Shining the flashlight inside he could say he was glad that he had left the area; the dresser on the other side of the room had fallen fairly close to the bed. It wouldn't have hit them, but it probably would have scared the hell out of them.

The walls had cracks in the plaster as did the ceiling. Any items that had been on the dressers were scattered on the floor. Wakko's harp had simply tipped to the left and was leaning against the far wall, but from where he stood it appeared to be in good condition.

Yakko sent him to check the condition of it; they couldn't bring it with them but he could at least inspect it for damage and move it to the upright position before the instrument's own weight damaged it. Wakko went to do so as Yakko headed to the closet in the far left corner to grab their pants. As he walked toward it though he heard something crunch under his feet.

Looking down he saw he was standing on the shattered frame of the picture Dot had given him for his birthday. He bent to pick it up.

"Yakko-"

"It's OK Dot; the frame's just busted, the photo's fine."

Amazing that after everything they had just been through he was happy that a photograph was undamaged.

Putting Dot down and handing her the flashlight he struggled to turn the dresser over, Wakko coming to help. Finally between the two of them they were able to get it tipped on its side. He wrestled open the drawer and grabbed shirts for him and Wakko.

"Can I bring this Yakko?"

Yakko turned to Wakko; he had his violin. Yakko nodded; he had no idea when they would be able to return to the tower. If Wakko wanted it he should probably get it now. With that thinking Yakko bent under the bed and was relieved to feel the handle on the case holding his guitar. He pulled it out.

Picking Dot back up he hustled Wakko out of the room so everyone could get changed in the bathroom. Other than a cracked mirror and items knocked from the shelves there was no real damage.

Going into the kitchen Yakko frowned as he shown the light around. This and the living room took the brunt of the damage apparently; plates weren't the only things that were going to need replacing. Putting Dot down in the doorway next to Wakko and telling them to stay there he went inside.

He picked up the phone before sighing and hanging it back on the cradle; no dial tone. It wouldn't matter even if there was one; it was almost five in the morning, who were they going to call? He had a feeling he was on his own, at least for now. That wasn't too big a deal; he had taken care of them before he could do so again. He couldn't rely on anyone to take care of them; sure the others frequently helped with a wide variety of problems and issues but he mostly counted on himself first.

Opening the refrigerator he grabbed the insulin and put it into his hammerspace. It needed to stay refrigerated but Slappy had told him their hammerspaces were cool enough to keep the insulin safe for several hours. Hopefully in several hours they could find somewhere to put it, or their power would be back on and he could return it. He grabbed the syringes as well; insulin wouldn't do Wakko any good if he couldn't inject it.

Grabbing a few other emergency food items he went back to his siblings who were staring at him from the doorway, Dot clinging to Wakko.

"Let's go sibs," he said. "I think we're going to be safer on the ground right now."

"Isn't the ground what's shaking?" Wakko asked fearfully.

"Yeah, but I'm hoping we can get somewhere a little safer. Come on; I know there is security and other people on the lot. I know some of the cooks in the cafeteria get here early to prep, I'm thinking they would start to gather and access damage."

Picking up Dot he led them out of the tower onto the landing. Nudging the railing of the ladder with his foot he decided against using it. Taking the flashlight from Dot who had been holding it like a lifeline he shined it toward the ground below. The pavement had some major cracks directly in front of the tower. With no power on the studio lot he wasn't really able to see if there was any additional damage, though he could hear people shouting and calling and could hear the sound of the golf carts used as transportation around the lot.

He heard someone yell about checking on the kids; since they were the only kids on the lot at this time of night he knew of he could only assume it was them. He looked down toward the ground again as he felt Wakko and Dot each grabbing his belt, still looking for comfort and assurance.

He knew he could survive the jump. It was against the studio's rules for any of them to actually jump; it was a hundred foot fall and toons or not they could be hurt or killed if something went wrong, they misjudged how and when to Chuck or broke their concentration momentarily. He had only done it a couple of times when no one was around and he was in a hurry, luckily without being spotted.

Of course Wakko and Dot were under strict orders to never do it. Was it a bit hypocritical? Sure. He was the oldest, he could be a little bit of a hypocrite if he wanted to.

But whether they were supposed to jump or not, this was an emergency situation however, and he didn't trust the ladder.

"Wakko, we're going to jump down-"

"We are?"

"Well, I am. You're going along for the ride." Putting Dot down he Fritzed his specialty, the parachute and earned himself a scowl from Wakko. Yakko wasn't sure what he was scowling for, he was going to be the one wearing it. As tired as he was he didn't think he'd be able to do two safely. He hoped this one was OK.

Picking up Dot in his left arm and Wakko in his right he held them close and precariously held his guitar between them. He jumped off the railing, using his tail to pull the ripcord as they fell onto the dark lot below, almost afraid to see what else had happened.

XXXXXXXXXX

January 21, 1994

"Thank you dear."

"You're welcome!" Dot said brightly as she refilled the woman's cup with milk. She was really old; Dot didn't want her to have to walk all the way to the drink line then have to wait. She had already been through enough.

She flashed a smile at the old woman. The woman gratefully leaned back in her metal chair and returned it warmly.

Dot, still holding the small jug began walking toward the next table, where a family of three was watching her, the parents looking exhausted, the little boy sitting in the chair with a large bandage on his head. She smiled at them before she looked around. Molly was busy doing the same thing she was a few tables over, talking to an elderly couple while she giggled. On the other side of the large gymnasium that had currently been converted to an emergency soup kitchen, Wakko and Buster were bussing tables.

Neither of them looked thrilled and Dot didn't blame them really; she had been bussing before but it was long hard work. She liked helping, but she really didn't like picking up trash. Besides, she got to talk and interact with the people more if she was filling drinks or helping get someone seconds. The buckets the boys were using to pick up trash were heavy too.

But at least there were a few less people in there than there had been the last few days. She wondered if some of them were finally able to go back home or if they had found family or friends to stay with.

She and her brothers were lucky; they were only homeless temporarily. An engineer from ToonTown finally came yesterday to inspect the tower and had slapped a yellow tag on the base, meaning they could go back in to get stuff but repairs needed to be made before they could occupy it again. She was just happy that it wasn't a red tag - that would mean they couldn't go back in ever - or so she understood.

Repairs were supposed to begin next week on their tower; in the meantime they were staying with Bugs which was fun. Bugs even had a pool. And since their set was damaged they couldn't do any filming this week, though she was told the damage was minimal and they should be able to start filming again sometime next week. That would be good; they had to complete the filming for 'I'm Mad'; they needed to get everything shot soon; it would be in the theaters in March.

Their home and set wasn't the only things damaged on the Warner Brother's lot; lots of things were screwed up. The set of some show called 'Murphy Brown' got a lot of damage as did the set that was used for some of the classroom settings on 'Tiny Toons'. A whole lot of people's offices were wrecked too, either with just computers and televisions and papers thrown all over the place, or even worse, the flooding. Ruptured pipes, sprinklers, everything was wet.

Molly said over at Disney it was even worse. Mr. Katzenberg, the chairman over there, his office was almost unusable right now. Everything over there was flooded and they were on a temporary hold for filming new episodes too. She had been told that it would be several weeks before things were back to normal there.

She wished they were across town like Paramount or 20th Century Fox; they had gotten hardly any damage. Warner Brothers, Disney and the other studio, Columbia Pictures were all in the San Fernando Valley which got the worse of the quake.

At first she had been sad that so many sets and offices were screwed up along with their home. Bugs, immediately upon learning about the quake had made his way to the lot despite the damaged roads and destruction in the area and came to the lot, grabbing her and her brothers. Not that they had known; they had sat in the cafeteria for awhile before the pipes had burst, flooding that building and requiring that they and any injured who happened to be on the lot when the quake hit to be moved to an administration building, where they had sat for several hours. Bugs had finally found them on the lot, stating that he thought they might want to get away for a few days. Dot had almost wept in relief when she saw the tall grey hare; she was afraid she and her brothers were going to be homeless and sleeping in the parking lot until the tower was checked.

When she left the lot though, she had felt really ashamed of herself. They were going to be delayed on their shooting schedule, and wouldn't be able to go home for awhile until some repairs were done.

Other people would never be going home at all. Hard to believe what damage could be wrought in only about fifteen seconds.

She had actually been crying in the car at one point, passing the collapsed buildings and freeways, manhole covers misshapen into cones or thrown completely free from their housings, cars ruined and sitting on small islands of asphalt, seeing the dazed citizens wandering the streets, many of them wearing nothing but their night clothing.

Fire trucks and ambulances had been attempting to help survivors while policemen blocked streets or shouted orders while trying to direct traffic around buildings that had received heavy damage or were in danger of further collapse. And what was worse was that the area hospitals had gotten damaged in the earthquake so couldn't help any of the thousands that were injured. Those people had to be sent to other hospitals which were getting overwhelmed with all the hurt people.

It was awful; it had taken Bugs a good portion of the morning to make his way to the lot to get them. It had taken half the day to get back to his house in ToonTown. And once there she had watched the news while sitting in Yakko's lap; the death toll had been at thirty-eight and was climbing steadily as the search and rescue efforts had continued throughout the day.

She was being selfish; they had lost a few of their possessions and the ability to go home for awhile. Other people had lost everything, even their lives.

Porky and Foghorn had both come to Bugs' house under the guise of trying to do some tutoring but Dot knew why they were really there; to check on all of them. That had actually made her feel a lot better. All of them had noticed that TIS seemed a lot more active. Yakko said the earthquake must have stirred them up; sort of like when a storm hit a lake; you shake it up enough and some of the trash comes to the surface.

She knew they were extremely lucky, getting through not only the earthquake but having people that actually cared about them. And the studios were being understanding, telling people to take care of the important stuff, like their homes and their families before worrying about shoots and scripts.

It had been scary; even a few days later she was having nightmares and woke up screaming. She had begun sleeping in Yakko's bed with him; he didn't seem to mind. During the day she felt safer as she played in the pool or talked on the phone or did some studying or just hung out with her brothers.

But as she had watched the news more, and seen people from the 'Salvation Army' and other charity organizations asking for help whether it was for donations, money or time, she started to feel bad. She was getting a mini-vacation because of this and other people were basically struggling to survive.

She paid a little more attention wondering if she could help any. Seeing that an emergency shelter was asking for volunteers she had gone to Yakko, asking if she could go help; after all he had been teaching her to cook. She could do that.

Yakko didn't seem real thrilled with the cooking idea but said she could help in other ways probably. He even said it was a good idea; he liked the idea of giving back to the community. Those people were fans he said, the reason they all had a show and jobs. Going to assist with some meals would be a nice way of saying thanks. Besides he had added, if they didn't do something he was going to go nuts sitting around even if he was busy doing extra studying and listening his way through Bugs' massive tape and record collection.

Bugs had thought it was really nice that she wanted to help too and had made a few calls. When he came back he said all of them were going to be helping out with meals in the afternoon for a few hours.

Wakko hadn't been too thrilled about it when told, mostly complaining because he wasn't asked. She couldn't have asked him though; he wasn't there because he was off at Buster's again. Wakko could be an idiot sometimes but he really wasn't mean; a few minutes of talking to him telling him about the poor people she had seen on the news had convinced him to cut into his free time for a few hours.

Buster hadn't seemed thrilled when he heard, expressing sympathy for Wakko about being dragged out there against his will. Since he didn't actually say he wanted to do it, it wasn't exactly 'volunteering'; it was 'being forced'. Unfortunately for Buster, his father and Bugs were friends. Bugs had told his father what they were doing; Mr. Bunny had thought it was an excellent idea and had signed himself and his reluctant son up. Now Buster and Wakko were annoyed with her.

She didn't care though; it wouldn't hurt them to help out. Molly had said it sounded liked fun and she wanted to help, convincing her mother to get them involved. Even Bugs was helping out; he was helping to dole out food with Yakko and a bunch of other volunteers, both human and toon. Mr. Bunny was currently in the cooking area out back. It was really neat; it was like a big kitchen on wheels. Food was cooked in the trailer, then hauled in to feed all the hungry people.

The only thing she didn't like; the photographers and reporters that had swarmed on the place when it was said that a bunch of toon stars were there helping out. Bugs had handled talking to the press thankfully, especially when one nasty reporter from 'Tasty Toon Gossip' had asked if this was a publicity stunt.

She had been hurt when the man had thrust the recorder in her face when she was walking in. Usually she was overshadowed by both her brothers; they didn't do anything to give her that feeling, just sometimes it seemed like the reporters were more interested in them than her. Normally she would have been thrilled that a reporter was asking her something while her brothers were around. But not now; she had just wanted to go in and be a normal volunteer.

She had wanted to help, share her time; was that so hard to believe? She wasn't just a pretty face; she thought she was a kind giving girl. She just wanted to help and be involved. She could have just batted her eyes a bit at Yakko, had him donate some money and gone back to playing but she hadn't. Families like 'The Max's' and 'The McDucks' had donated thousands of dollars, but she didn't see any of them there ladling out green beans and mashed potatoes to people.

But she had started to doubt the whole 'volunteering' thing at that time. Maybe it did look like a publicity thing and she hadn't wanted it to look like that. She hadn't even wanted the press there; she should have guessed they'd find out though. They always did about anything. They even knew she was taking horseback riding lessons and had managed to snap a few pictures of her on top of Candy Apple, the pony she had been sitting on.

She had tried to tell him that wasn't why she was there, she just wanted to help out but the man kept shouting questions and comments at her, like he wanted to get her upset.

Yakko had only let that go on a few seconds though. He had quickly jumped in and snapped at the rat, asking why he was trying to fight with a six-year-old and if he had volunteered any of his own time before leading her inside. He knew why she was doing it, and really, that was all that counted. Her family and her friends knew there was no 'underlying' motive.

She approached the table with the family and smiled at a boy. He was probably a year older than her. She glanced at the bandage again and tried not to wince.

"Would you like more milk?"

The boy nodded before asking, "And your autograph? And Wakko's?" At a look from his mother, a harried looking lady with long brown hair he added, "Please?"

Dot almost scowled; everyone always wanted her brothers' autographs. Boys were sort of dumb sometimes. It wasn't surprising that this boy would want one or both of her brother's autographs; everyone else always did. But, he had asked for hers too; now he was looking at her anxiously while his parents were sitting back watching.

She smiled at him; she would give him one of course. Wakko was more shy about meeting people sometimes but she knew he would sign one; he never had not signed one. And this boy might be a fan of Tiny Toons; he could get Buster's too. And Molly loved signing them; if the boy watched their afternoon block he would know who Molly was. Heck, she could even bring him to Yakko; he could get the whole set.

"Sure…wanna come with me to get Yakko's too?"

The boy nodded enthusiastically again after his parents smiled at her.

"Thank you," the woman said.

Dot smiled at the woman while leading the boy over to where Wakko and Buster were still picking up trash.

That stupid reporter might think all of them were there working because it was good publicity, because they wanted to get high ratings and sell more merchandise. This little boy was more why she was there; the way his face lit up when she had said 'sure' then offered to have him meet Yakko too. Then the way his parents faces had relaxed as they ate because someone was spending a little additional time with their son…that was why she was there.

She liked helping people. She didn't need some dumb article telling everyone about it.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 2, 1994

_Let's just be friends._

Words could be used for so much; to make someone laugh, feel better about themselves, convey feelings of love, comfort a child frightened by a nightmare… Funny how those four little words put together could hurt so bad.

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose as he leaned back in the kitchen chair, giving up on any further attempts at studying. His mind was too consumed with other thoughts right now to really concentrate on an English assignment.

He should have seen it coming. The phone calls coming a little bit further apart than before, the conversations lasting a shorter amount of time as the weeks went by, discussions over dinner becoming just a little more strained as time passed.

He supposed it was a good run; Sabina was his first real girlfriend, and they had lasted about five months. That was probably longer than most relationships lasted he guessed. Hell, he hadn't talked to Evelyn that long. He hadn't been in a relationship with her either. Apparently she thought they were; she just hadn't told him about it.

But unlike when Evelyn had called him, Sabina's phone call had actually hurt. He knew it was coming when she had tried to make a bit of idle small talk before she had hesitated, then blurted out that she had met someone else and she wanted to just be friends with him.

He wasn't sure he could be 'just friends'. He still wasn't sure he loved her, or had loved her. If he was actually hurting like he was he supposed it might have been love. But being 'just friends' might be hard, at least right now; like it was prolonging the agony in the hope that she might want to continue to see him.

For now he had packed away her picture and other mementos; probably in time he would feel better about it. Not right now though.

He pushed it from his mind. He was sad and hurt, a little confused but not devastated. He wasn't going to sit on the couch in his pajamas and eat Ben & Jerry's and cry.

He had almost done it; rejection hurt whether it came from a parent, someone on the street or from a girl. However he had other things to occupy his mind. Like his siblings. Or the English paper he still was supposed to write and that he had been putting off.

He had all weekend; he'd do it later. Wakko and Dot were in the living room, he should go in there for awhile, talk to them. They knew he was upset and were trying to help him in their own way. Wakko had even not gone to Buster's this weekend because he wanted to stay home with him and Dot had not gone to her riding lesson which simply told him he must look worse than he felt.

Bugs had told him it was hurtful but he'd get through it with family and friends. Sure it sounded like the opening to a Hallmark greeting card but it was true. Playing with Wakko and Dot today had pretty much taken his mind off it for that time.

That and everyone was still pretty excited about their theatrical debut, which had gone better than he anticipated. 'I'm Mad' had received nothing but positive reviews despite being shown with that horrible movie 'Thumbelina', which was one of the most ambitiously bad movies he had ever seen. He had even heard that many fans of theirs had gone to the theater and paid the money to see their short and had not even stayed through the entire movie. He couldn't blame them; he was stuck there but if he had his choice he would have walked out too. It was almost as bad as 'Rock-A-Doodle'.

Walking into the living room he saw Wakko and Dot sitting on the floor near their hideous couch that sadly hadn't been damaged in the earthquake setting up for a game of 'MouseTrap'. He supposed there really wasn't anything on television if they weren't sitting in front of it.

The earthquake…He shuddered slightly. They had made it through it but it was one of the most terrifying times of his life. In all fifty-seven people lost their lives, many thousand more injured.

He was happy it was no one they knew, but just the devastation…he was extraordinarily proud of Dot for wanting to help out like she had. She had enjoyed it and was expressing an interest in continuing to volunteer. Yakko wasn't sure for what yet, her interests were sort of varying but he was delighted she was making the effort.

At least he had seen for himself the repairs that had been made to the tower; hopefully if another powerful earthquake struck the area the tower would stay slightly more sturdy.

Wakko had ended up not minding helping out and said he'd probably do it again, but he wasn't exactly clamoring for the next opportunity. Yakko made a mental note to actually ask him next time. Wakko had a point; it was nicer to be asked if you wanted to do something. If he said no, then Yakko could force him.

They both looked up as he stood over them for a moment. He sat down next to Wakko, pulling him close with his right arm while Dot crawled in his lap.

He had planned on going out with Sabina tonight, doing dinner and a movie. He had to say, this was a lot better.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 17, 1994

Yakko put his pen down; while he was supposed to be doing his Math homework all he had ended up doing was drawing several pictures and messing up several of the problems. He had been putting these off until the last minute so it was his own fault, he usually had everything done well before Sunday night.

Of course on most Sunday nights he wasn't sitting at his kitchen table dreading the next week.

Dread or not he certainly wasn't going to not do the homework and listen to that witch of a tutor scream. He had listened to enough screaming this week, though a large part of the screaming was due to Wakko and his ding-a-ling friends.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair and glanced down at the copy of 'The Animator' sitting beside him. The headline glared 'Batman and Robin wring capes in misery as the 'Fab Four take A Crash Course in Driving!" There was another magazine sitting beside it; the cover having a large picture of Darkwing Duck on the front, posing with that odd looking gun of his.

He had read the story just so he would know what their special friend was doing now. On top of being in charge of the large security team at Disney and doing some freelance work for TTF, he was now one of the escorts that could be chosen by any of the princess' for when they were in Burbank. How that guy managed to do all that and still found the time to fight with them or anyone else that didn't agree with him was an amazing bit of multi-tasking. It wasn't a particularly fascinating article but it was always good to know what the enemy was doing.

However, the article on the inside was more important. "Why Those Bad Boys at Warner Brothers Trounce Those Dull Boys at Disney."

There was no reason to read them again; he had read them earlier. He planned on clipping the articles out when he had a free moment. For a group of kids, exactly half of them not liking publicity, they sure seemed to get a lot of it. He wished they would just get it in a less dangerous and dramatic fashion.

He loved his brother. It still didn't stop him from occasionally wanting to strangle him. He had to wonder if it was just Wakko and his friends that didn't think, or was it just all boys that age. He was starting to agree with Dot; boys were dumb.

Except him of course. He was apparently the exception.

When he had gotten a phone call at the tower from Plotz bellowing about him coming to his office immediately Yakko had wondered what the man's problem was. None of them had done anything that he had been aware of.

Arriving at Plotz's office he found out exactly why the man had been bellowing. Hell, he had joined in himself when he finally figured out what had happened.

Apparently the 'Fab Four' in a moment of group insanity had decided to take Ralph's golf cart when the man wasn't looking and joyride around the lot on it.

From the information he had managed to wrestle out of Wakko before he started yelling the four nincompoops had seen Ralph leave the cart momentarily when he had been checking a portion of the fence line. Seeing him abandon the cart the morons with Babs, Mary and Elmyra in tow had decided to take a joyride. Well, the boys anyway; the girls not surprisingly were smarter than that and chose to cheer from the sidelines.

After a fight between the four boys about who would actually drive, Max had won being the oldest by a slight margin and the tallest. And apparently he had managed to get to the cart first by tripping everyone else up.

The fact that none of the four of them could reach the gas pedal and it was stupid and dangerous didn't actually deter them as they careened around the lot causing havoc wherever they went. What finally did stop them was crashing into the side of the Batmobile as it was being moved to a different part of the lot.

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose; the damage to the Batmobile had been minimal, though the golf cart sustained quite a bit of damage. He was astonished that none of them had actually been hurt. And of course a reporter just had to be on the lot at that time, doing a short interview with Shirley about some Zen junk. She had excused herself from the surprised loon long enough to run to the accident scene and quickly snap a few photos before being chased off by security. Not soon enough though; Anica Adams had managed to get enough information about what happened to write another article on the 'Fab Four', further cementing their reputation as 'The Bad Boys of WB'.

In retrospect it was amusing; he wished he'd been able to see it, especially the part where the four of them were marched over to Plotz's office. The little man had been wild by the time he got there; Yakko wondered if he did a classic slow burn until he had shown up or if he had been insanely pissed the moment he heard what happened.

Knowing Plotz, he was probably insanely pissed.

But, amusing or not it was still a dumb thing to do as he told Wakko loudly when he was finally able to drag him out of Plotz's office and back to the tower.

By his ear.

He doubted he was being too harsh; he witnessed Mr. Bunny doing the same thing to Buster since they had both shown up at the same time. They had even shared a few laughs outside the office before going in. When they had been leaving, Plucky looked extremely nervous in one of the chairs, while Max didn't seem too perturbed. His parents were in Tahiti.

As harsh as his own punishment had been, Plotz's was a lot worse. And he wasn't just punishing the perpetrators; oh no, he was punishing anyone associated with them. Like him and Dot; two innocent bystanders to their brother's craziness. And the entire main cast of 'Tiny Toons'.

Not surprisingly, that had wiped the smiles right off the girls' faces. His own too.

Special guest stars on that stupid insipid soul-sucking show…

God. He almost felt like stomping his foot like Wakko and yelling 'it's not fair' too. He hadn't stolen the damn golf cart; hell, he paid for a quarter of the damages without even being asked. He had assured Plotz that Wakko at least would be punished severely enough he'd be afraid of getting near anything motorized again before he was thirty.

But Plotz had screamed at him when he had protested, thinking that if he tried to reason with the man he could at least get him and Dot out of it. He had tried to even get Wakko out of it; no crime was worth that punishment.

But Wakko could be sacrificed; he brought it on himself. Yakko had finally told the man if he let him and Dot out of it he'd gift-wrap Wakko and deliver him to the set himself. But Plotz, for once not yelling, had smiled an oily devilish smile and said that he 'owned their asses' and it was already approved by the higher ups. While their show had extremely high ratings, other shows weren't faring as well and their appearance could perhaps boost flagging ratings. Plus the CEO had added, if he couldn't keep his hellion brother under control this was what happened.

Yakko had only seen about forty-five seconds of the show. That was more than enough time to know that it was definitely not something he wanted to do a cameo appearance on, let along stay for one day. It was only shown in ToonTown of course; the humans were lucky - they only had to put up with 'Barney'.

Dot was furious and had made her first attempt at Fritzing a pie. It was a strange orange-ish color and almost entirely liquid, but she had done it. She even had something sort of shiny that he supposed was a pie pan. Too bad she had chosen to throw it right in Plotz's face when he had said he didn't care which Warner had acted up, all three of them were going to be guest stars for the day.

After she had thrown it he had changed it to a full week.

Yakko wasn't sure what the man was so peeved for; it was a toon pie Fritzed by a six-year-old. It wasn't exactly going to stay around long. It had almost disappeared before it actually hit him.

Yakko was unhappy that she had just condemned them to an entire week of the irritating goof. On the other hand he was delighted she was Fritzing a somewhat recognizable pie on command. Sure, it basically looked like a bowl of Tang and she was a long way off from getting her mallet, but she was on her way. He had praised her for quite a while for that.

Still, an entire week. He sighed. They had only filmed a handful of new episodes and had been on a temporary hiatus. Their first week back filming and this was what they had to look forward to. This would undoubtedly be the worst week of their lives. There wasn't even any script; they were just supposed to go over and 'go with the flow like the other kids there'. Except they weren't like the other kids over there; they had personalities, those other children didn't.

And to top it off, he had been informed by a very smug Plotz that some of the footage from the entire week would be gathered together in some sort of bizarre sketch for 'Animaniacs'. So not only would the people in ToonTown see them all week long, the humans would also be able to feast their eyes on the Warner's utter degradation.

There was no way any of them were escaping this with their dignity intact.

_Neato-completo-yippie._

XXXXXXXXXX

April 19, 1994

_Yakko's gonna kill me. Then he's gonna bring me back to life somehow to kill me again._

Wakko flinched under Yakko's glare and put his mallet away. He had really wanted to mallet the boy, but with the look his brother was giving him he decided against it. He was in enough trouble.

The boy deserved it though; he wanted to do his homework later with Wakko then go home to help his mom cook dinner. What nine-year-old wants to do that? A total spaz. He supposed he was better off; Dot got stuck talking to the girl that wanted to iron everything including her underwear, the curtains in her bedroom and her father's handkerchiefs.

Yakko glared at him for a few more seconds before turning and looking around the set again, almost like he was looking for a way to escape or a nice sturdy rafter to hang himself from.

It's been almost a week, he really thought Yakko would have calmed down by now. Stealing the fat lummox's cart wasn't the smartest of moves true, he would admit that. But it really had seemed like a good idea at the time; even the girls had been encouraging them on.

The studio should actually thank them; Ralph was really…overweight. It's not like he needed to be riding around; a walk every now and then wouldn't kill that guy. And Wakko knew the guy had a big mouth; he was the one that told on them.

Actually he had somehow managed to get to them right as they crashed and hauled them out of the cart before they could run because they had been half-dazed. Wakko knew one thing; whenever Max got his license he was never riding in a car with him. That guy shouldn't be allowed to drive a remote control toy let alone anything bigger.

"Yum yum doodle dum!"

_Oh no…'Yum yum doodle dum' never indicates anything good…_

"Let's sing a lovey-dovey song about friendship and fun!"

_I was right._

Wakko winced as the brain-dead children normally on the show cheered, while the audience members, also brain-dead children clapped and shouted encouragement. Looking over his shoulder he saw Dot giving him a murderous look and he shrugged helplessly; he didn't want to be there either.

It really wasn't fair; Yakko had punished him enough. He'd been hauled across the lot by his ear, got a few swats on his rear end, he was grounded for two miserable weeks writing lines and doing all manner of horrible chores Yakko could dream up. He hadn't known that each individual tile in the bathroom needed to be scrubbed with a toothbrush then polished to a glossy shine until this last week. Yakko apparently did though because he had Wakko doing it.

So far he had been doing it for three days. He would have been done sooner but he was taking his time. Yakko had told him when he was done he would be counting each individual carpet fiber in the tower next. He wasn't sure if he was serious or not but he wasn't taking the chance.

Luckily he had tons of homework to do too so he didn't have ample free time. It really wasn't a lot more than normal, he was just taking his time more. Between writing a paper for Foghorn on why a toon sometimes couldn't use another toon's tunnel or counting carpet fibers, he'd rather write the paper.

If nothing else all his tutors would be happy. Confined to his room when he wasn't slaving at doing all the extra chores he had plenty of time to do his schoolwork. That was definitely better than writing lines.

And he had a few scripts to learn too. The show was about to go on hiatus for the summer and they had two episodes left to film. And they should both be fun; one would have Elmyra in it. The other was some silliness going back to their supposed roots because they were supposed to be a hundred years old or something dumb, but Foghorn, Porky and Bugs would be in it. Even Daffy and Sam would be in it. He sort of liked Daffy; like Plucky he was pretty full of himself like most of the bird toons but he seemed OK most of the time. He didn't see him often though, occasionally in the cafeteria or around the lot or whenever he was visiting the others.

Following a gloomy looking Dot and a very annoyed looking Yakko over to where the stupid dinosaur was getting everyone in a circle so they could hold hands and sing, Wakko thought about his friends.

Buster and Plucky both had gotten about the same punishments as he had and like him weren't allowed to leave their sets to come visit him. The only time they got to see each other was in the cafeteria. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing.

While Plucky was pretty upset they had gotten in as much trouble as they had, he had been delighted when they again got an article in 'The Animator' and 'Teen Toon Dreams'. Wakko was more amused that they were getting known as 'The Bad Boys of WB'. Better than being known as the 'Dull Boys of Disney' he supposed. He just wondered why the reporters had to be around right at the exact moment they were causing trouble.

He had to scowl though; there was an article in there about Darkwing Duck too. He had been hired as the 'royals' bodyguard' for when any of the princesses for Disney were in Burbank doing guest spots or public appearances. Wakko personally thought they were making too big a deal out of it. Or maybe Darkwing was; hard to say. And there was an article in there about that geeky Honker kid winning some chemistry contest or nerd award or whatever it was in ToonTown. He didn't read it; after the second line it was pretty boring.

And of course Max that smug bastard had barely gotten in any trouble, at least not at home. Yeah, he was going to have to come over and play nice on the set of 'Boloney and Kids' next week, but he only had to do it for one day and the entire cast was there with him, even if the girls weren't talking to any of them. While they thought the entire thing was funny, they quickly stopped laughing when they found out they had to accompany the boys over to 'Boloney and Kids'. They had stopped speaking to them when that was announced.

He and his siblings had to do it all week and he was getting tired of coloring and singing songs or even attempting to try to figure out what any of the other kids were saying to him. He wondered if it was all due to Dot pieing TP or if Yakko's mouth had contributed to that. Plotz and Yakko had gotten pretty heated for awhile before it boiled down to a nasty bit of name calling and juvenile insults.

"I hate this. It's all your fault Wakko," Dot hissed angrily at him as she snatched his hand before grabbing the hand of a girl next to her roughly.

"My fault?" He hissed back. "I didn't pie TP in the face with - well - whatever that thing you Fritzed was."

"It was almost a pie!"

"No it wasn't!"

_Not even close, it was all runny and looked like melted orange sherbet._

"Was too! And I wouldn't have pied him if I wasn't sitting in his office because of you and your dumb friends!"

"She's got you there Wak," Yakko muttered as he took Wakko's left hand. "None of us would be here if you four idiots didn't decide to go joy riding around the lot."

"Hypocrite," Wakko mumbled. "You thought it was funny later."

He did too. Kinda. And he had kept the articles in the papers about it; Wakko had seen him cutting them out when he was supposed to be scrubbing the kitchen floor.

"Slightly. It stopped being funny the moment I was sent here with this orange fool and the children of the damned."

"After being here for two days I no longer fear hell," Dot added quietly. "How much longer do we have to do this shit?"

Wakko snorted softly to himself. If he had said that Yakko would have yelled at him.

"Well, as long as Maindrian Pace here doesn't decide to do anything else, we only have three days left." Yakko shuddered as the 'friendship' song was sung. "And watch the language; I'm in a foul enough mood to punish Wakko for it."

"Why me?"

"Because I'm in a foul mood due to you four jacking Ralph's ride," he hissed. "And I know she probably learned it from you anyway. Now be quiet so I can attempt to go to my happy place and forget where I am."

Wakko shut his mouth. Now he was going to get in trouble for something Dot said. He cut his eyes to her where she was smirking at him. Of course Yakko didn't see that; he was standing there with his eyes closed like a robot in off mode.

He'd steer clear of Dot, at least for a few more days. Armed with that knowledge she'd no doubt find some way to get him in even more trouble.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 25, 1994

"This show is an insult to the intelligence of every living thing on this planet! The only reason it exists is to humiliate anyone involved with it!" Trying to calm down Yakko spoke more calmly into the phone, "Look, TP, I know Wakko screwed up! He won't do it again, trust me. And Dot, well, what can I say? She's just learning and I-"

Yakko rolled his eyes and held the payphone away from his ear as Plotz went over the same spiel he had already heard a hundred times, this time including that the reception of the first episode with them as guest cast members on 'Boloney and Kids' had been very positive.

Yakko rolled his eyes; a ring tone wasn't as repetitive as Plotz was, especially when he knew he had them over a barrel and there wasn't a single thing they could do about it. And the man sounded so superior for once not yelling; he knew he had won this round.

At this point Yakko was close to begging. If he had to hear the 'I-is-for-Imagine' song sung by that goofball one more time he was going to do bodily harm to someone. He just simply could not be responsible for his actions. He knew the chances of Plotz even letting them out of this a day early were slimmer than a Tanzanian orphan but he had to try.

When he and his siblings had shown up on the set at the beginning of the week he had ordered them in, head held high, determined to get through the shoot in a dignified manner. He felt like he was walking to the ax man's block but he would go down in style.

He had instructed them to behave as well, especially Wakko. Who knew what he would do? He had been trying to mallet half the boys there since he arrived. That sort of roughhousing went over well on the 'Tiny Toons' or 'Animaniacs' set, not so much on 'Boloney and Kids'. The boys there just weren't as…spirited.

No, most of these boys…well, the words 'mental patients' sprung to his mind. Most of them were so wooden that at one point he had been looking for strings because he thought that perhaps they were being controlled by a puppeteer.

No such luck; these children really were like this. The girls were the same way. Dot had said they actually were making her sick. Personally, the director's flamboyant prancing was making him physically ill. If the man waved his hands any more while talking he would probably fly away.

The show didn't even have a 'green room'. Instead, when they weren't required on stage they had a 'play room'. If the 'play room' had a video game system or something he might have been somewhat pacified. It had lots of puzzles and dolls and few books that even Dot had been bored with despite his attempting to read them to her. He had dubbed it the 'dream room' because every time the three of them were sent in there they had quickly been put to sleep.

Only two good things had come from this entire mess. One was that Wakko probably would at least think twice before he and his little friends decided to do something that stupid again. They would probably still do it, but they would at least think about this nightmare before doing it.

The second one was Debbie Robinson, the blond luscious 'Princess of Props'. Fifteen and bored out of her mind working on the show, her mother was one of the make-up artists on an adjoining set. Debbie and her friend Irene both had scored internships working on 'Boloney and Kids'.

Debbie had hoped it would be more exciting but was finding out it wasn't as thrilling as she thought it was going to be. In between takes they had been sharing general chit-chat, even going to lunch together yesterday.

"Yeah, OK TP, thanks for nothing," Yakko said interrupting Plotz's spiel; he'd heard it enough. So much for hoping they could at least escape one day. He sighed and hung up the phone as the man talked and turned to his siblings.

"Well?" Dot asked anxiously.

"No go sibs, we gotta finish it out." At their whining he added, "Look it's the last day…thank God."

Last day. He had been trying to be professional about the whole thing. They had been punished enough for Wakko's mischief, Dot's pie flinging and his own big mouth. Any wrongs they did in the next year should be covered by this.

He was mad at himself though; he had broken down and almost begged Plotz to relent and let them out of this last day. It was to no avail though; his pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears. That was fine; Yakko was a creative toon if nothing else. Somehow he'd plan a fitting revenge. And he'd be smart enough to not get caught; no way was he getting busted and getting sent back for another week of 'fun fun doodle dumb'.

He was sick of even attempting to behave and hide his utter contempt of the entire show, the situation, and for 'Baloney'. He hadn't always hid it, in fact most time he had let his sarcasm shine through in such a way that he and his siblings got the joke and managed to laugh while the rest of the cast had looked confused. Well, except the 'Prince and Princesses' of Props', those three were about the only ones there who weren't total drones to this nonsense.

He had tried to make Wakko and Dot behave, the first couple of days anyway. He was slightly more successful with Wakko only because he was afraid of getting into more trouble. He hated being so strict with him but he didn't want to take the chance of being too easy on him. Next time they might decide to joyride in something that could actually hurt them.

But by Wednesday he had lightened up some; both Wakko and Dot were annoyed and bored like him. By yesterday he had laid off considerably. He had even allowed Dot to toss a few of her more interesting bits of surreal sludge that were supposed to be pies around and let Wakko play with his mallet on Baloney's head. Thankfully the annoying dinosaur was a wiz at chucking or Wakko would have probably knocked him into a coma by now.

He hadn't given them permission exactly; he had just looked the other way when they let loose.

Today though, he just couldn't do it. Personally he was tempted to start malleting anyone within reach too. But he would try to refrain; it might not be too bad; all the other kids were there to distract the idiot. Hopefully they could sort of hide in the back of all them,

Frowning at his siblings he said, "Let's just get this over with."

XXXXXXXXXX

_If I had to give my depression a visual, it would have to be this show._

It had been three hours since he had 'almost but not quite' begged Plotz to release them. In that time all the other children normally on this ridiculous show had been dismissed because the remaining skits to film for this waste of film would only feature them. He just knew Plotz was behind this; the man must have phoned the director of this insane asylum and told him to focus just on them today.

So far he had to make paper plate masks, color several pictures, sing a few songs, endure several hugs that he hadn't been able to escape from and play 'pretend'. If he had been slapped in a diaper and had a pacifier popped in his mouth he wouldn't have been as humiliated.

Debbie, looking hot as always in her ugly denim jumpsuit was grinning at him from the sideline. He had been trying to talk to her all morning but wasn't being too successful. Every time he got involved in a conversation with her Baloney would come pounding over to irritate and drag him away.

Luckily Debbie didn't seem to hold his current predicament against him; she had invited him to lunch today. She had even packed it; she said she had a picnic basket in the back of her mother's Buick. A homemade meal with a hot girl; there were worse ways to spend ninety minutes. Especially since she seemed to be a giving girl; he had already had a few quick makeout sessions with her in the 'playroom', though when they had named it the playroom he didn't think that was the type of play they had in mind.

She smiled at him coyly and waved. He waved back at her, bored and checked his watch. Still thirty minutes before they could break for lunch. Then a couple hours of class with Bugs, then back to this hellhole for the rest of the afternoon. He wished he could leave now.

He sighed when he heard Baloney call his name; why wouldn't he leave him alone?

He raised his ears, mostly in fright when he heard Baloney say that they should play 'dress up'. He had been embarrassed enough, he'd never recover his reputation as it was. He was not playing 'dress up' unless it would involve guns to use on Baloney or a noose for himself. Other than that, no way.

Wakko, currently sitting beside him at the table glared at the dinosaur. Chances were he didn't want to play 'dress up' either. Dot, who was trying to engage a little boy in the audience in a conversation, looked over her shoulder in trepidation.

He had to get out of here. If he didn't he was going to end up as a babbling idiot.

He couldn't walk out though; there were a few large men outside the set. Presumably they were stage hands but at the moment he was looking at them as their jailors, simply there to help keep the kids in line. One of the men, Hal, was a gentle giant really but knew his job. He had gently but firmly pushed them in the door earlier and stood watch since then.

He needed a distraction…someone talented in the art of troublemaking…

"Hey Wak?"

"I'm not playing dress-up Yakko I don't care how much trouble I get in."

Yakko ignored the gookie face Wakko made at him. He was almost sorry Foghorn had taught him how to do it. Yes, it was his favorite face to make but it got annoying.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on playing dress up either," Yakko replied. Wanting to tread delicately he said, "I got…other plans."

"Like what?"

"Lunch. I'm not telling you anymore than that. But I need your help."

"Oh really," Wakko said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah. Look, I want to sne-"

"What would you need my help for? Thought I was the goofball. You know, the insane one."

_What?_

"You know, I don't think I want to do any distracting," Wakko continued. "I think I'll try that whole 'behaving' thing out."

_Since when?_

"Unless of course-"

Yakko narrowed his eyes at him. Was he doing what he thought he was?

"-it was worth my while. You know, you lighten up a bit and I might be willing to help out."

Yakko looked at him, mostly in surprise. He was doing it…Wakko was actually trying to bribe him.

"Forget it Wakko," he said flatly. He was not falling for that; he wasn't that much of a sucker.

"OK." Wakko shrugged before pointing. "Look Yakko, Baloney is coming this way again. Bet he wants you; he does seem to like you best."

With that Wakko sat back in his chair, humming the 'Baloney and Kids' song under his breath while smirking at him.

Yakko stared at him in shock.

He didn't like being played by Wakko; if he caved now his younger brother would try it every time he got in trouble.

On the other hand, Wakko had a point. He did seem to be bearing the brunt of the idiot's attention and it had been getting worse as the morning had worn on.

He quickly ran through the options in his mind.

He could tell Wakko no, he wasn't lightening up on anything. And they only had half an hour left before lunch, he could just suffer it out. But, there was that whole 'dress up' thing. He didn't know what 'dress up' entailed on this show, but he had a feeling it was something he didn't want to know about.

Then again, Wakko had been punished long enough. Yakko had a feeling that he would probably avoid golf carts like he did clowns now. He technically had four days left on his grounding but Yakko didn't like him being in trouble either. He wasn't as much fun.

And if he let him off the hook, even if it was lessoning up some a few days early he'd look like the cool, adoring older brother he was. Not to mention he was rapidly running out of things for Wakko to do; currently the inside of the tower shined brighter than all the gold of three hip hop entourages.

But he couldn't cave right away; that would make him look desperate. Then again, Baloney was coming toward them. Dot was currently trying to inch her way toward them, going down the far side of the schoolroom set to avoid being too near Baloney.

"Wonder what they're gonna have you dress up as Yakko?" Wakko mused. "Let's sing the 'Imagine' song while we think-"

"Oh all right," Yakko hissed, annoyed. "You win this one and only this one; don't think you're gonna get away with this all the time."

_I'm such a sucker._

"You don't have to clean anything else and you don't have to finish writing the lines. Whatever you've done is enough."

"And I can watch TV? And play video games?"

Yakko fearfully looked over his shoulder; Baloney was laughing that creepy disturbing laugh and he was about ten feet away.

"Fine, whatever!"

"Faboo! And that means I can leave the tower."

"Right, OK, yeah," Yakko growled.

Wakko was essentially ungrounded, he should be thrilled.

"And I can get a raise in my allowance?"

"Ehhhhhhhh, don't go to the well too many times kiddo," Yakko said quietly. "You make the distraction and keep an eye on Dot. I don't care what you do as long as you stop short of actual murder. I'll meet you at the cafeteria before tutoring. You mess up and all deals are off."

"Aye aye captain," Wakko smirked while giving him a mock salute.

Yakko had a feeling that he was making a mistake but pushed it out of his mind. Exchanging a glace with Debbie he gestured with a slight nod of his head and she grinned before looking around. She spoke briefly to the other 'Princess' before creeping toward the exit to the right, tossing her stupid cone hat off and into a trunk full of clothing.

Yakko stood; now or never. Wakko would be able to take care of this, especially since he had several things now motivating him. He'd get out of trouble early. He was getting back in Yakko's good graces. Plus he had basically been handed the opportunity to cause as much trouble as his clever little mind could come up with and with basically no repercussions. At least from his older brother's standpoint anyway.

And chances were Plotz wouldn't force them back for awhile; he had a feeling Dot had traumatized a few of the girls. Not badly, but they were irritating and she was his sister; he had to give her a few pointers. And Plotz had brought this on himself; Yakko had asked nicely several times to be let out of the taping; wasn't his fault if Plotz didn't want to see reason.

"Hey Yakko," Baloney said, arriving at the table. "You wanna-"

"No."

With that Yakko began edging away, watching Wakko jump from sitting in the chair to standing on top of the table.

"Hiya Baloney!" With that Wakko launched himself at the dinosaur. "Hey, I just imagined a new game called 'What's That Smell'! Wanna play?"

"Goshems Wakko, sure!"

Dot who had just arrived at the table was looking at Wakko like he'd lost his mind.

"Yakko, what's wrong with him? Did they finally crack him?" She asked anxiously.

"No, but now Yakko's going to try to crack Boloney. Why not go help him? I gotta run…an errand."

"I don't wanna stay here! Please take me with you!" She grabbed him around the waist and screamed, "Please! No number of sessions with 'Mr. Puppethead' are going to make this nightmare go away!"

She was right about that.

He had hoped he could get out before Dot caught him. But as polite and sweet a child she was, she was still a child. An annoyed child that would probably like to be let loose to cause as much damage as all her pent up aggression would let her on the set.

"Your pies are looking really…interesting Dot. How about you practice on Baloney? Or play 'What's that Smell' with Wakko? He looks like he's having fun."

He did too. Right now he was creeping around to set Baloney's foot on fire with a lit match while the dinosaur was standing there with his hands covering his eyes. The next smell would no doubt be 'burning polyester'. Yakko rolled his eyes; apparently Foghorn had taught Wakko another trick, the old 'match in the foot' routine. Very old-timey, not around much now but it had been a big hit back in the thirties and forties.

Well, he had said stop 'just short of murder'; the stagehands would put any fire out before it got too far. Chances were it wouldn't even catch on fire; it would just smolder a lot.

Dot looked at him like he had just said he was buying her a pony, joy mixed with a large amount of surprise.

"Really? I can do that?"

"Fire away sib. Right now I'm off to my errand. Stay with Wakko; make sure he doesn't cause too much trouble."

"OK!"

She turned to yell 'I wanna play too Wakko!' before she bolted toward him. Yakko smirked and quickly walked toward the exit as he smelled something horrible burning and heard Baloney scream. He then heard Wakko and Dot laughing while most of the stagehands began running around with buckets of water.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ham, turkey, cheese, macaroni salad, strawberry shortcake…Debbie went all out when she made a lunch apparently.

And it was good. When they had arrived at her mother's dark-blue Buick she had gotten in the backseat, gesturing him to sit beside her as she began pulling items out of a cooler. He had assumed she would be grabbing the food and they would be wandering off somewhere, not that they would actually be eating in the car. She had slapped together sandwiches with chips and macaroni salad. Not exactly a feast fit for a king, but it was decent enough and the company more than made up for the fact he wasn't nuts about ham and cheese sandwiches.

Yakko watched as she now worked on their dessert; strawberry shortcake.

He had asked her on the way to the vehicle if she wanted to go out tomorrow night and she had readily agreed. He had to make a note to talk to Foghorn; it was last minute but the rooster had never said he couldn't do it. A few times he had even had plans and had rearranged them in order to make sure he was available. Yakko hated to spring it on him last minute but this was a last minute thing; he had only met the girl this week.

He had to decide now if he still wanted to wreck horrible revenge on Plotz for sending them over there or if he should thank the man. He'd probably do both; thank him which should send the man into a rage, then the revenge for the principle.

Debbie was talking about something and he tried to pay attention. It would be a lot easier to do if she hadn't lowered the zipper of her jumpsuit halfway. Sure, it was still an ugly jumpsuit, but with it half-undone it was looking a lot better at the moment. And she had said it was uncomfortable and restricting. He smirked; if she wanted to let the puppies out of the kennel, he wasn't going to complain.

He was a bit surprised though. He had girls come onto him before; he had yet to meet one quite this forward though. And she was apparently interested in a makeout session, right in the Warner Brothers employee parking lot. The week was definitely ending on a high note.

"And I figured all guys liked whipped cream."

Yakko watched bemused as she delicately used her finger to scoop up a dollop of whipped cream off one of the cakes and sucked it off her finger before leaning over and giving him a kiss.

Rumor around the lot was that Debbie was a bit forward. Well, that wasn't so much rumor as a cold hard fact apparently.

He returned the kiss before muttering, "Everything's better with whipped cream on it."

More kisses as she mumbled, "And I just love how it melts in your mouth, mixing with the strawberries...You can just savor it."

He started when he heard one of the plates she prepared fall to the floor of the car as she moved even closer to him. He started to run his fingers through her hair when he felt her hands tugging on his belt. Surprised he raised his eyebrows and smirked before moving his own hand to the zipper on her jumpsuit.

_There is no way…_

"Why Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

He never got an answer, not that he had been expecting one as she pounced on him. He fell back, ramming the back of his head into the armrest on the door but he ignored it in the flurry of activity that was now going on in the back seat.

He just hoped Debbie's mother didn't come back to the car for her lunch or she'd be in for a surprise. At least now when one of his siblings had another question about sex he would have more of an idea of what happened during it.

Yum yum doodle dum indeed.

XXXXXXXXXX

July 28, 1994

Yakko scratched his ear and nodded as he listened to Ralph talk about seeing the TIS Goon Squad cruising the streets again. Ever since the earthquake he had noticed them more, like the quake had spurned them into action. TIS was funny like that; you wouldn't see them for months then all of a sudden you couldn't turn your head without them being there.

He was not worried about it of course; they couldn't be touched on the lot, but still, he felt better knowing that Ralph was at least doing something useful. It was always better to know where they were at and what they were doing.

"And deys grabbed dat little toon kid Yakko - snatched him right off da street."

Yakko nodded, strangely quiet. TIS always gave him the creeps. He had been approached by them almost three weeks ago when he had been out with Debbie. It had surprised him when the large bear toon had grabbed his arm and began to try to drag him away stating that he had violated terms of the _guardian ad_ _slavus_; no studio guardian.

That wasn't true of course; Bugs was about twenty feet away talking to a friend that had come over. When the rabbit had noticed his missing charge he had begun to frantically search for him. When he came around the corner of the food park and seen the hunter towering over him he had come charging over. After berating the man for twenty minutes the bear had admitted he made a mistake and had slinked away.

Then the rabbit had turned berated Yakko for another twenty minutes for wandering away. He hadn't exactly wandered away; he and Debbie were just trying to stay out of eyesight of the watchful hare long enough to do more than just chastely hold hands.

Bugs didn't approve of Debbie; he thought she was too loose. Yakko had to smirk at that; for a rabbit Bugs had a surprising hang-up about sex. But Bugs was right; he needed to stay in sight. Or at least in screaming range.

Yakko had needed to ask the rabbit to chaperone several dates due to Foghorn being ill and unfortunately he wasn't able to get away with quite as much as he could with the rooster. Not to mention Debbie wasn't content to go to places that an adult would approve of; several times she had wanted to go to parties her friends were having. Of course these parties were kids only which meant drugs and alcohol would no doubt be available which he would not be able to talk either star into going to. Not that they would be welcome.

Come to think of it he really didn't want to go himself. The last time she had demanded he find some way to go he refused, telling her that if she wanted to go she could go without him. That was almost two weeks ago and he hadn't heard from her since. While Bugs had offered him all the support he had always given him Yakko could tell the rabbit was secretly pleased.

"And I's heard deys fired all de hunters."

Yakko nodded. "So I've read. They fired the old ones that weren't doing their jobs. For the money they're paying them, I would think these new ones will be smarter and quicker. TIS is redoing the whole system, new training, new pay, new hunters. The bad thing is they're going to be getting some training from Darkwing himself which should be a hoot."

"Dat guys got his fingers in to many pies."

Yakko nodded. If Ralph could see that it had to be a fact. Kit had been laughing about it for two weeks now; the mighty Darkwing Duck part-time babysitter for a few haughty princesses, part-time trainer of TIS hunters, but still a full-time asshole.

As Ralph continued to talk Yakko turned to check on Wakko and Dot, both standing by the front of the guard shack and talking to Buster and Plucky. Wakko nodded his head at the other two boys and they began to walk off; Buster and Plucky to go back to their set to finish up a shoot, Wakko and Dot toward him.

They didn't make it far though. Dot stopped, grabbed the back of Wakko's jacket and pointed. Yakko turned to see what she was pointing to and smirked.

The old saying was true; think of the devil and he's sure to appear.

Darkwing Duck, everyone's favorite verbal patsy was walking down the street. And he had seen them too. Yakko watched as the duck's eyes narrowed, sharp ice blue eyes almost hidden in the folds of the thick purple mask.

"Don't look now Wakko - Count Chocula's eyeballing us."

Yakko leaned against the shack, waiting to see what Mr. Predictable would do.

Disney Studios and Warner Brothers Studios weren't that far apart. They frequently saw the mallard either walking down the sidewalk or at one of the local malls or eateries. They had a few run ins with him; nothing physical or too loud, mostly a few insults tossed back and forth.

He was usually strangely silent around Slappy, something that delighted the old squirrel to no end. She liked the idea that her reputation was enough that she was able to chase the mallard off with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

Yakko frowned slightly; after glaring at them for a few moments the duck turned and began to continue to walk down the sidewalk. Yakko turned quickly to see if perhaps Slappy had come up behind him and he hadn't noticed. She hadn't though. Darkwing wasn't in the mood to play.

Yakko had to admit though most time the duck wasn't; they usually started something with him. Antagonizing the mallard was a Warner Family pastime. Wakko or Dot mostly but he was just as guilty of doing it as they were. While it could be fun he made a mental note to stop doing it, especially in front of them. He was supposed to be attempting to set a good example and harassing Dipwing for no good reason really wasn't doing that.

Of course Dipwing could ignore them; he was an adult and had a daughter around Wakko's age. He had to be used to a kid giving him grief every now and then.

"Ok, whose turn is it to start?" Wakko asked.

"Your's Wakko - take it away," Dot answered.

Yakko started to stop him but he wasn't quick enough. Wakko grinned then jumped up on the fence, and began yelling.

"Hey, look everyone - It's Darkwing Duck! Hey mister, can we have your autograph? We love former stars!"

The fence shook as Dot leaped up beside him, and gave him a playful smack on the back of the head.

"Former star! Oh Wakko - be real! You have to have been a star first to be a former star!"

Yakko snickered as Ralph scratched his head, looking confused. OK, he shouldn't be encouraging this; he had just said he was going to try to stop doing it so much himself.

But they had already started. The insults were the standard juvenile ones. Yes, the duck's show was off but it had been fairly popular. Not that he was going to say that to Dirtwing. Yakko decided to hang back and see what he would do. So far he had stopped walking but hadn't turned around yet, standing stone still in the middle of the sidewalk with his cape twisting slightly in the breeze.

Wakko slapped his right hand to his forehead while saying, "Oh, sorry sis - forgot that part!"

Mr. Predictable turned and frowned before coming back to them. Yakko leaned against the guard shack to watch his siblings at work. They would holler juvenile insults back and forth, and the duck would finally blow his top like always before stomping away.

Yakko had to smirk; in a constantly changing world, wasn't it comforting to know there were some things you could always depend on?

"Why don't you little disrespectful snots say that out here in front of me? Oh wait, that's right...TIS will haul your little butts away the second you do."

Darkwing turned his eyes to Yakko. He smiled and waved at him.

"Heard about your little mishap the other week. Saw that it lost you your little girlfriend too."

Yakko smiled wryly before replying, "Least people find my social life interesting enough to write about in the papers. I expect a headline reading 'Darkwing gives tips on getting blueberry stains out of capes' wouldn't exactly bring in the readers."

"My stain removal article was very well read!"

"By who?" Wakko asked. "Sorry Dinkwing, the toons who used that section to line the floor while housetraining their puppies doesn't count."

Dot, smirking said, "Come on Wakko, not even they read it. If I wanted tips on cleaning I'd go to PigPen before I'd listen to Darkwing."

Darkwing gave her a once over. "This coming from a girl with cherry popsicle stains on her shirt."

Yakko looked; she did. Damn. He could have sworn he had thrown that shirt out too.

"I dropped it when eating with my friends. You know, friends?" Dot smiled sweetly. "I have quite a few; even some over at your studio."

"Thankfully not my daughter," Darkwing muttered. "And I've spoken to them about who they associate with-"

Before Dot could even say anything Yakko stepped up to the fence, annoyed.

"Do their parents know about that conversation? I can't imagine Ms. Cunningham has a problem with her daughter associating with Dot, especially since she represents us-"

"I'm not saying Ms. Cunningham is stupid for taking your money," Darkwing drawled. "She's just too trusting about who she lets her daughter associate-"

Yakko brought his fist to his mouth briefly to calm himself. Getting into a screaming match with Darkwing at the studio gates wouldn't exactly be good publicity. Though if the duck continued to badmouth his sister he was going to be hard pressed to control himself.

"There's nothing wrong with Dot-"

"Of course you'd say that," Darkwing sneered. "Though I wouldn't take what a thief says-"

"Ex-thief thank you. You'd think after that disaster of an article you did last year you'd know that. Not to mention think twice before opening that big fat beak of yours."

_Right on schedule_, Yakko thought, watching Darkwing begin to grind his teeth.

This guy needs to overlook childish insults. Then again Darkwing didn't like being proven wrong; the article had embarrassed him as badly as it had embarrassed them.

"Some big super-hero," Dot scoffed. "Harassing little children-"

Wakko cut her off. "Yeah. In my circle, we call that a bully."

"And you're doing a wonderful job Yakko," Darkwing said. "Both your siblings here are going to grow up to be just like you-"

"Better than being like you," Dot said. "Bad fashion, stupid insults-"

"If you were my kids, you would never talk that way to an elder; I would punish you -"

Wakko gave a rude snort. "If I were your kid, I'd punish myself."

"Mouthy little snots."

Dot grinned. "And cute - don't forget cute."

Wakko smirked and turned to Dot. "The most amazing thing about all this is we have a 35 year old arguing with a 6 and 9 year old –"

Dot finished his sentence. "And the 6 and 9 year old are winning."

Wakko attempted to look sad. "I guess we're the bullies; fighting a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

Yakko held his arms out to them. Like them, he had gotten a few hits in and were now growing bored with the game; there was only so many times you could rehash the same old arguments before they grew stale. Time to say goodbye to the stunned Ralph and head back to the tower for lunch. They had the entire afternoon off now.

"Little disrespectful punk." Wakko turned and stuck his tongue out at him, Dot following suit. "That mouth of yours is gonna get you popped one day."

Yakko stopped in his tracks. That crossed the line.

"Very mature of you Dipwing, threatening to punch a nine-year-old."

Darkwing gave a smirk, which Yakko returned. He really hated this guy.

"I didn't threaten to punch him. But, I figured the oldest Warner brother who is supposed to be such a wonderful guardian and role model would make sure his two siblings knew how to talk to an adult and a uniformed officer."

"They do," Yakko said. "Unfortunately I don't see one around."

"I'd ask why you don't keep your mouthy little siblings in line, but looking at who they're learning from-"

Yakko put his hand up as both Wakko and Dot started to protest what he said. He had been trying to lead them away; Darkwing could have continued to walk down the street and ignore all the juvenile insults. But he didn't.

Yakko raised an eyebrow while saying, "I'll consider it, but only if you confess to stealing Prince's wardrobe first."

"Yeah, this coming from someone whose pants are pulled up to his neck."

_Oh man, was that the best he could do?_

"You know what? I can understand the anger you have in ya Dripwing...I mean, after all...the only reason why you even got a show from Disney is because Donald Duck didn't feel like working on Saturdays."

He had no idea if that was actually true or not, but it sounded good. And it made Darkwing angrier if the narrowing of his eyes was any indication. Yakko smirked again; maybe it was true after all.

He head Wakko and Dot start giggling at his comment, and he silenced them with a look. He should have stopped this earlier. He started a bit as he felt Ralph's gigantic hand come down on his shoulder.

"Daaaa...Yakko, come on now, let's not cause a whole big bag ting here."

"Ahh, yes, out of the mouths of total idiots even a bit of wisdom can spout. I suggest, Yakko, you listen to your 'oh so much more intelligent colleague' there. You don't want to mess with me kid."

Yakko felt a grin split his face, and he put his hands up in mock defeat. "Yeah, you're right, I wouldn't wanna mess with you...a 13 year old verbally outwitting a forty something would be kinda embarrassing for you."

He heard his siblings start laughing again, and he turned, seeing them leaning up against the fence. He carefully watched them; for all he knew, Dipwing Duck there would make a grab for one of them. He also made a mental note to later speak to both of them about antagonizing this moron.

While he wasn't scared of him per say, it was always in the back of Yakko's mind that he might be able to do something else to them. Yakko knew he had a good mind, and he was usually able to see a situation from every point of view, but on this, there may be something that he may have missed. He simply didn't trust the guy.

"Forty-something! You little snot - I'm nowhere near forty!" Darkwing screamed. "And my show was one of the most well received on the afternoon block while yours–"

"I don't see you churning out episodes of that show of yours anymore-"

"I wanted to leave!"

"Keep telling yourself that," Yakko said. "Look, this is getting nowhere. I have siblings to feed, you have a princess' underwear to protect or whatever you're supposed to be doing now, why don't you-"

Yakko watched, half in amazement as Darkwing gnashed his teeth. He almost backed up a step; toons or not, you simply should not have teeth to gnash when you possessed a bill. It just wasn't right.

Darkwing balled his fists, coming right up to the gate. "You think you're pretty smart don't you? Mr. Wiseguy, Mr. Funnyman - you're nothing but a smart mouthed, petty criminal - raising a set of smart mouthed petty criminals. You should all be in jail."

_Just petty criminals? _

Ralph decided to jump in and actually do something at this point. Yakko winced, Ralph's insults were never very good.

"Hey now! Don't be talking to dem likes that!"

"Oh be quiet you buffoon! I'm quite sure your IQ is about the same as this punk's age," he said, pointing to Yakko. "So just stay out of this…"

Yakko felt compelled to defend the rotund security guard. The guy was about as bright as a crayon; he was certain that Dipstick could beat him in a verbal fight, and he wasn't going to let that happen, just on principle.

"Ralph is smarter than you think he is Dirtwing."

Yakko heard Wakko mutter 'I can't believe he said that with a straight face'. Yakko turned and looked at Wakko, who gave a little pout and ducked his head. Meanwhile, Ralph looked a bit flattered.

Throwing caution to the wind, Yakko continued on. "Why don't you just quit bugging us present day stars...I'm sure you need to report somewhere to film your 'where are they now' segment."

His siblings were starting to giggle again, and he noticed Wakko taking something out of his hammerspace.

_Wonderful, what was he up to now? _

He tried to keep one eye on them, and another eye on good old DW, who was practically smoking he was so angry.

"Wow - real present day stars. And such a talented crop of stars! Your friend over there who could never hack it as a real officer," he stated, indicating Ralph. "Two juvenile delinquents and a smart mouth teenager. I can hardly believe that Spielberg went from making ET to ...you guys."

"Bombs Away!"

Yakko and Darkwing both turned as Dot and Wakko, who had backed several feet away from the fence during the heated exchange, ran back towards it. Taking a flying leap in the air, they both jumped high into the air. Wakko Chucked and grabbed Dot's free hand, dragging her up higher with him. Then Yakko noticed that both had water balloons. Before he could totally register what they were doing, they pelted Darkwing with the balloons.

Landing on their feet on either side of Yakko they looked at him grinning. He wasn't sure if he should tell them to stop antagonizing him now, or be amused by the prank.

He looked at Darkwing and decided to be amused. The guy was practically drowning; soaking wet, hat drenched, cape dripping, loose feathers clinging to his coat…Yakko looked at the puddle forming around the angry mallard, and couldn't help it; he started laughing. It was amazing how much water could pack into a balloon.

Darkwing began to wring out his cape as Yakko continued to laugh with his siblings; even Ralph was joining in.

Darkwing stared directly into Yakko's eyes, and he stared back, all laughing done, as the mallard spoke.

"I've never wished this upon even my worst enemy but I hope you end up penniless and forgotten. Maybe that'll knock some sense and respect into you."

Yakko was actually taken back by the venom in the duck's voice. It was just a couple of kids and some water balloons; hell, he dealt with worse getting out of bed in the morning.

Darkwing was walking away from the fence, apparently done for the day. "You're all talk kid, nothing but mouth. Out here in the real world, without this studio to protect you, you'd be nothing."

_Why that crotchety old -_

"Jerk!" Dot and Wakko yelled together.

"Brats!"

"Has been," Yakko shouted, almost losing his calm demeanor.

_This guy…_

Darkwing turned one more time back to look at him.

"Better a has been than a never gonna be - you kids will be forgotten in a year's time - back to robbing the honest hardworking toons - and hopefully - in jail within two years. None of you will ever amount to anything, and it will be mostly due to you. You're a rotten guardian, and doing these two no favors hiding them in a movie studio; in the end, they'll end up in Panic, just like you."

_That son of a -_

His thought was interrupted by Ralph, who shook his head, frowned, and spoke.

"Daaa...what a jerk! I never liked dat guy!"

Yakko nodded. He had been about to walk out the gate and hit Darkwing with his mallet. He briefly held his fist to his mouth and took a breath to calm himself. After all, it was only Dripwing Duck; not worth losing his cool over.

"Forget it Ralph; he was just blowing hot air as usual. We handled it –"

Dot muttered, "Well, you did anyway - I didn't see him doing much."

She pointed to Ralph as Wakko nodded and mumbled back, "Yeah, some security guard."

Yakko looked at both of them. "Guys..."

"Sorry."

"Let's just forget it huh? Come on, let's go eat lunch. Then we can play a game or something."

"OK!" Dot yelled. "Let's play with my dolls!"

Yakko sighed. Not his favorite activity but it would keep her out of trouble. He turned to Wakko who still looked annoyed and was glancing down the street through the fence.

Yakko asked, "What are you planning on doing?"

Wakko looked up at him and shrugged. "Go over to the set and watch Buster and Plucky finish up."

"Lunch?"

"Ate with them."

"Lines?"

"Memorized."

"Homework?"

"Done."

_Huh. Wow. Wak was on the ball this week._

"Fine. Just don't cause any trouble OK? Or at least not any more than normal."

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko watched Yakko and Dot round the corner, making their way back to the tower. If he hurried he could catch up to Buster and Plucky before they got too far. As much as Darkwing had pissed him off at least it hadn't taken too long. How dare that guy insult them or talk that way about Yakko? Yakko was a great role model; sure he was a pain sometimes but he was doing the best he could and he didn't do bad.

Wakko broke into a run away from the guard shack, throwing up one of his hands as he heard Ralph yell a goodbye. Yakko had talked to him and Dot several times about being nice to the guard.

He picked up speed as he ran around the corner of the administration building and collided with something furry, solid and blue. As he bounced back, muttering a few curses under breath he heard one familiar voice doing the same while another familiar voice began laughing.

"Hey Inky watch where you're going would ya? Damn it you almost knocked my teeth out!"

Wakko, holding his own nose said, "Big deal - not like you don't know where the dentist chair is. Or don't you think I've heard about that?"

"At least then I did it myself and not because some moron mowed me down! Shut the hell up Plucky."

"Why?" Plucky asked. "I was lucky enough to see both incidents. I'm allowed to laugh."

Buster turned to glare at Plucky and Wakko jumped in before an argument could erupt between the two.

"What are you two doing over here? I thought you needed to be-"

"Gone and come back," Plucky said. "Shoot was postponed till tomorrow."

"And since Dad's in a meeting all day, we figured we'd come back and hang with you." Buster came forward and put his hand on Wakko's shoulder. "We, uh, heard you, you know with that Darkwing-"

_Great._

Wakko leaned against the wall, Buster leaning back beside him on his right while Plucky took up a position on his left.

"This guy gives all mallards a bad name," Plucky said. "Coming over here all the time; I remember his giving you some grief at _The Harnell_ awhile ago. Some hero - and he wants respect?"

"Even though we're usually antagonizing him," Buster added with a smirk.

Wakko sighed before saying, "That guy is such an ass! I swear if we're ever at the mall again and your dad's not around I'm going to pie him."

"Why wait till we're at the mall?" Plucky asked.

Wakko said, "Because he's not going to come onto the lot."

At the same time Buster said, "Oh Duck, you can't be serious."

"Look, you can't pie him through the fence. It doesn't fling right, trust me I've tried."

Plucky shook his head.

"I'm not talking through the fence pal. I'm thinking we go to him."

Wakko blinked a few times while looking at Plucky before saying, "You've got to be shitting me."

He wasn't apparently. Plucky had that look he usually got when he had some delicious prank in mind. Usually it was a good prank. It was a lot better prank when they didn't get caught.

"You lost your mind Plucky?" Buster asked, pushing the duck's shoulder roughly. "What, we gonna sneak off this lot, sneak onto another studio's lot, pie the chief of security or whatever title he's got, then sneak back onto this lot?"

"He's deranged Buster," Wakko said. "Lighten up; he can't help it. Too many hits to the head." To demonstrate he reached over and hit Plucky on the head.

"Screw you inksplot. No, I'm serious you two dills, listen."

Wakko rolled his eyes and leaned back against the wall. Plucky could come up with some wild ideas; hell they all could. This was sounding wilder than most though. He wished Max wasn't sick; if he was at the lot today he could distract Plucky and they wouldn't have to sit through this. Even if the idea was a little intriguing…He'd love to sneak off for an hour or two and toss a pie in Darkwing's face. And at his own studio too - wow would he be pissed.

"-and there's a hole in the fence; back there in lot four. I saw it the other day. No one knows about it just yet - not even Ralph!"

"There's a shock," Buster muttered. "You take your medicine today Plucky?"

"Shut up Bunny," Plucky said. "We could get through the hole no problem. Then we just jog over there, cause some havoc, then right back on the lot! No one would even know we were gone!"

"Dad would kick my ass!" Buster exclaimed.

"And Yakko mine," Wakko added. "He's not that lax a guardian."

Even though he was the only one that lightened up on the groundings; Buster and Plucky had been pretty jealous. Wakko did wonder why Yakko had lightened up on his last severe punishment. Yakko had claimed he wanted to run an errand and had then had come back with a real love of Strawberry Shortcake.

Plucky frowned at him.

"I wasn't insinuating you should come. I was thinking me and Buster-"

"Oh thanks Plucky!" Buster snapped. "Drag me down with you."

"No way I'd let you two go without me," Wakko said, insulted.

And why did this sound like a halfway decent idea? He had been about to suggest they sit down and play poker before Plucky had come up with this. It was a lot riskier than cards true, but it'd be a lot more fun.

"You run a bigger risk Wak you damn moron," Buster said. "We get busted we just have to deal with pissed off parents. You could get hauled off."

"Only if they catch me," Wakko shrugged. Looking at Plucky he said, "No one knows about this hole, and we all know Darkwing is doing the 'Royal Watch' over there. They're doing some filming for that 'Aladdin' series now; he's sure to be there strutting around."

Plucky, now looking a bit nervous said, "Yeah. Um, maybe Buster's right-"

"Like I usually am," Buster interrupted.

"Maybe this is a dumb idea," the duck said.

"It's definitely dumb," Buster agreed.

"It is," Wakko agreed.

They all looked at each other for a few seconds before grinning.

"OK, so why do I still want to do it despite the fact that I know Yakko will throw me off the tower?"

"Because we'll totally be pulling one over on DoucheWing Duck," Plucky said. "When the others find out about it we'll be heroes! No one likes that guy." Plucky looked at him hard before saying, "I'll do it. I don't know if you should go; maybe you should stay here and cover for me-"

"Plucky, you are coming dangerously close to getting a pie in the face yourself," Wakko said.

No way was he staying behind. He'd look like some wimp. Maybe not to these two, but if things went as planned word could get out that Plucky went over there to exact revenge in his name. Not exactly a way to stay on top of the cool-o-meter. He was the one insulted, and the duck insulted his sister and brother - he'd go over there himself.

But this was officially the stupidest thing he had ever considered doing.

Buster sighed. "You gonna show us this damn hole or not?"

"Oh, you going now?" Plucky asked.

"I can't trust you two idiots to get across the lot by yourself, let alone all the way over to Disney. I have a feeling if I don't go I won't see either of you two again until you're eighteen because you'll be chained up in your room until then," he said gruffly while jamming a finger in Plucky's chest. "And you'll be sitting in a TIS home until then," he added while jamming the finger into Wakko's chest.

"Fine, we're a trio," Wakko said. "Monty's gonna be mad he missed this."

"Too bad," Plucky said. "He's the one that had to go get a cold; just think of how much we're gonna rub this in his face." Plucky cut his eyes to Wakko. "Besides, the girls might get a kick out of it."

"Or they'll stop talking to us again," Wakko muttered.

That would only happen if they got in trouble themselves though. And Wakko had no intention of getting caught - that would be unthinkable. And the girls probably would think it was funny if they didn't get in trouble.

"We'll be legends in our own time!" Plucky exclaimed.

"Damn it's hard being the smart one," Buster muttered before going into his leader and planner mode. "OK, we move quick. Anything looks bad we call it off and run back. Plucky and I will cover for you Wakko," he continued while Plucky looked surprisingly receptive. "Don't worry about us just get your ass back to the lot. Anything happens I guess I'll take the blame. Like usual."

Wakko smirked and saluted.

"Deal. Let's get this going if we're gonna make history."

End Chapter 24


	25. Chapter 25

Greetings everyone. I found out that the site does have a limit on how much you can load in a chapter. Therefore I had to split this into 'two' chapters. I hope everyone enjoys it regardless and I thank everyone that has left reviews.

Chapter 25 - Of Pies and Punishment

"Now what Boy Blue?"

"Keep your hat on Wak, I'm coming up with a plan now."

_I hope so_, Wakko thought while trying to stay hidden in the bushes but still peer into the gates at Disney.

Crossing his arms and rubbing them briefly, more from nerves than any chill in the bright sunlight, he watched as a tour group went past. The group paused as Tigger, Louie, Baloo, and Bonkers linked arms and sang one of the worst renditions of 'It's A Small World After All' Wakko had ever heard.

Some songs just weren't written to be sung in a 'scat' style. This was one of them.

He continued to watch the impromptu show while Buster and Plucky continued to argue behind him.

"You'd better Bunny," Plucky muttered. "I'm not sitting in the bushes like a damn Peeping Tom while you brainstorm."

"By all means Plucky, lead the way," Buster shot back. "I mean, you did such a great job with the planning of this escapade. The whole idea of just marching us down Alameda Avenue was brilliant! And here I was thinking we were trying to stay out of sight! That was on top of the fact that you had no earthly idea where the hell Disney was so once again I had to save your green ass and-

"OK, I admit, it wasn't a great plan," Plucky hissed. "You were right, I was wrong, this was stupid though I notice you agreed to it anyway. Now that your daily ego boost is out of the way, can we get back to the matter at hand?"

Wakko turned briefly and smirked at the look of distaste that crossed over Plucky's bill. It took a lot for the mallard to admit that he made a mistake.

This whole thing was a mistake though, Wakko already knew that. Officially the dumbest thing he had ever done up to this point in his life. There was a seventy-five percent chance this would be the dumbest thing he ever did in his entire life.

Yakko was always babbling about making sure to have some sort of plan before doing something; Wakko really wished he had listened more to that lecture. He promised himself that if they managed to actually pull this off he would go back and ask Yakko himself for the lecture again. And he'd actually pay attention this time.

Next time they decided to prank someone, they really should sit down and study that word more. Plan. It was pretty obvious at this point that 'planning' in the future should probably involve more than jokingly agreeing to something in an alleyway then running off helter-skelter.

Plucky had been right about the hole in the lot's fence. It was large enough for the three of them to get through, no problems with the plan there. Other than Wakko almost snagging his jacket on a broken piece of metal there was no hitch in the plan.

Once they were out of the lot though they had finally hit upon lots of problems with the plan. Where the hell was Disney and how were they going to get there without being spotted on the street? All three of them were recognizable; they discovered that as soon as they set furred and webbed feet onto the sidewalk outside the back lot.

They managed to slink away and hide behind a dumpster beside a bail bonds place to regroup. Buster officially declared Plucky an idiot and proclaimed he was in charge, to which neither Wakko nor Plucky made any objections. Wakko agreed mostly because he knew Buster was the smartest and Plucky because Buster had Fritzed a baseball bat and had been glaring at Plucky while speaking. The duck apparently decided he liked his bill right where it was on his face and had agreed.

Buster had been right; Disney was only a short distance away really. But with them trying to avoid being spotted by studio employees, TIS, the paparazzi, and autograph hounds, a twenty minute stroll had taken almost fifty minutes of hard constant running and dashing around. Buster had led them through alleys and drainage ditches, hiding behind parked cars and bushes. Wakko wished he had a dotted line following them; he was pretty sure it must have looked like one of the 'Family Circus' cartoons where Billy takes a trip around the neighborhood.

He sighed, chewing on his lip. What a mess. They had finally arrived at Disney Studios with a whole new problem; how were they going to get in the studio gates? Not even Buster had managed to come up with an idea so far. There were guards, tons of people, and unfortunately a fairly tall fence. Sure, they could probably all Chuck themselves and manage to jump over it, but like Buster pointed out, they really had no idea what they would face inside. It would be unwise to wear themselves out before they even got on the property.

Wakko tried to block out his friends' bickering and looked around. They were currently hiding in the decorative bushes near the gate where tour groups queued up. Wakko watched as another group seemed to be gathering; a group of Japanese tourists if the language they were chatting in was any indication.

He frowned, watching them. This was the only tour group he had seen lining up since they arrived. Disney didn't run many tours a day and it was getting later. This would probably be the last one for the day.

He watched several of them snap pictures before briefly pushing them from his mind. He really had to figure out a way to get them in; he apparently wasn't going to get any assistance from his partners-in-crime behind him. Buster and Plucky were now pushing each other as they hurled accusations about each other's intelligence, moms and legitimate births.

Wakko turned to look at the four Disney toons still putting on their impromptu show inside the gates and cringed at how off key they were. Didn't Disney give these guys any training in music? He'd think that at least Baloo and Louie would have some. He thought about what he had heard them sing before on their shows and movies and rethought that. Obviously not. He hoped that if they were going to continue they actually got near a melody soon.

He directed his gaze back to the group of Japanese tourists. The guard appeared to be ignoring them as they waited, all of them talking quietly amongst themselves. His frown deepened before turning into a smile as a thought came upon him.

"Hey guys," he said, turning back to Plucky and Buster. "I have an idea."

Momentarily distracted from their fighting, both boys turned to look at him.

"Please tell me it's at least a decent idea and includes the phrase 'Give this up and go back to the lot'," Buster muttered. "I've heard enough stupid ideas today."

"Bite me Bunny, it'll be fun," Plucky said.

"Trust me, it's faboo!" Wakko said happily.

"Faboo huh?" Plucky asked. "Count me out then."

"I'm serious you ass, now listen." Wakko pointed toward the tour group and continued. "If we can sneak into that tour group that's lining up now, we should be able to just walk in with-"

Wakko cut off when Buster hit him upside the head, almost knocking his hat off.

"I thought you said it was good!" Buster snapped. "Do we look Asian? Do I look like I can carry on a conversation in Japanese? Do you want to get caught?"

"Shut up Bunny," Plucky said, peering through the foliage himself to get a closer look at the group. He thoughtfully rubbed his chin as he considered. "You know, Fritz a trench coat, babble a bit about sushi and panty shots and we might be able to get away with this."

"Stereotypical bastard," Buster snorted. "I bet the last thing they're talking about is raw fish and underwear. A whole ancient culture and all you see is-"

"Shut up rabbit," Wakko said grinning. "Everything you know about Japan you learned from watching the Ninja Turtles."

"Well, Splinter's from Japan, it makes sense," Buster muttered.

"Anyway," Wakko sighed. "I don't hear either of you coming up with a better idea, and it sure beats sitting in the bushes until we're spotted. We came all this way, might as well get in right? It's either this or try to find a section of the fence not being patrolled and try to jump it; gonna use up a lot more energy though."

Wakko almost scowled at both their stunned looks. Didn't they think he could come up with a decent plan every now and then? It was better than slinking back to the lot or sitting in the bushes like a bunch of scared mice.

Plucky got over his shock first, because he concentrated and reached behind him. Moments later he had a light brown trench coat in his hand which he began putting on. After a few seconds of thought, he again reached toward his hammerspace and pulled out a large floppy fedora and a pair of sunglasses which he quickly threw on.

Grinning at them Plucky asked, "How do I look?"

"Like a flasher," Buster answered, crossing his arms and glaring at him.

Grinning, Wakko followed suit and soon was putting on a trench coat and wide brimmed fedora of his own. With a deep sigh and a muttered, 'We're dead, I may as well just mallet myself now and get it over with', Buster began to do the same.

"Trust me," Wakko drawled while trying to pull his own fedora down lower on his head to hide his face. "It's gonna work. Have I ever been wrong on something like this?"

He chose to ignore the others' snorts.

XXXXXXXXXX

Dot tried really hard not to listen to her brother's conversation. As curious as she could be, she really did try to respect her oldest brother's privacy. Not Wakko's so much, but Wakko had more interesting conversations that usually involved some trouble he and any number of his little group caused, and more often lately at least one of the girls was mentioned. Therefore those conversations were interesting in more ways than one; she got to be amused by whatever mischief he caused and she could get potential bribe information. She was positive that at least seventy-five percent of the stuff Wakko did Yakko didn't know about.

Yakko had told her to stay in the living room while he talked on the phone. He had scolded Wakko before about trying to listen in on his conversations. Wakko liked to stand outside the kitchen doorway and laugh when Yakko was talking to whatever girl he was 'seeing' at the time. Sometimes Dot would join Wakko; she often didn't understand what Yakko was talking about, but the girls sure seemed to like it. Wakko said he was just buttering them up so they would kiss him more.

Lisa had said that getting caught eavesdropping was impolite and unladylike. The best way to get around the whole thing was to make sure you weren't spotted. And one thing Dot would say about herself was that she was a lot more careful about not getting caught doing stuff than Wakko. She didn't do the dumb stuff Wakko did, and half the time he was trying to listen to conversations that had nothing to do with him. He just sometimes got a real kick out of giving Yakko a hard time.

But this conversation was different; this wasn't a girl. Well, it was, but not one Yakko was trying to 'butter up'. This was Mrs. Cunningham; Yakko's tone was always more respectful when he talked to her.

She looked down at the book in her lap. She and Yakko had given up playing with her dolls awhile ago and had started reading a story. Or she was reading the story to him; he had bought her 'Misty of Chincoteague'. The back of the book said it was supposed to be for ages nine through twelve, but everyone said she was reading at a level or two above where she was supposed to be.

When she had offered to read it to him instead of him reading her a story for once Yakko had jumped at the suggestion. Whether that was because he was getting tired of reading out loud or because he really wanted to hear the story of the horse she didn't know. Maybe it was both.

She had managed to read the first four pages out loud to him before the phone had rung. When Yakko had gone to answer she had followed but he sent her back out of the room.

She frowned; if it was Mrs. Cunningham there was at least a chance it had to do with her. Yes, of course Mrs. Cunningham represented all of them, so it could have to do with the 'Warner Trio', or any one of them singly. She knew Mrs. Cunningham had called awhile ago; that skating rink Wakko and his idiot friends went to all the time had wanted the boys to do an ad promoting the rink. It was still a pending thing; apparently there was some conflict with scheduling.

Figures; Wakko always seemed to be the one to luck out on that sort of stuff.

And Wakko didn't like the publicity half the time. It really just wasn't fair; she wanted to do these things and never got asked. Wakko tried to hide from them and he constantly got approached anyway.

She opened the book up and flipped to the fifth page with the intent of continuing to try to read while Yakko talked, but the mention of her name distracted her.

"-and I would want to speak to Dot of course…I don't have the right to decide for her if she wants to do that…well she may not; she probably will but…I don't know isn't that sort of depressing for…well yeah she liked doing it before but that wasn't as…she's not in it for publicity she just likes…yes I know I have to give my consent but I won't do that until I know if she wants to…" There was a long pause before he laughed and said, "But if I know my little sibling I can say with certainty that she would definitely like to…is the paperwork done yet on…"

Dot raised her ears slightly so she could hear better; it sounded like Ms. Cunningham was in her bossy business-lady mode. It was definitely about her though. She wondered what it was about.

She perked up; maybe Molly wanted to go shopping again? Or it could be something about their riding lessons. Or maybe she could finally get to spend a weekend at Molly's house?

No, couldn't be; he mentioned publicity. A sleepover and a shopping trip wouldn't bring about that sort of conversation. And depressing? What would be depressing about that? But he mentioned paperwork…

Curious she slid off the couch, the book forgotten. Nervously wiping her hands on her jeans she began to creep closer to the kitchen doorway. Yakko was around the side of the doorway hidden by the wall; if she stayed toward the left he probably wouldn't see her if she got just a little closer. Unlike Wakko she could attempt to be subtle. And she had a right to hear what Yakko was talking about right? It was about her after all.

"All right Ms. Cunningham, I'll speak to her…yes, I'll let you know sometime this week, I just want to make sure she understands…yes, of course she's been to…yes, I understand…OK, I'll talk to her. Sure, Thanks again Mrs. Cunningham…OK, good-bye."

Hearing her brother get off the phone, she quickly made her way back to the couch, hopping up on the end cushion before he got the phone in the cradle.

She quickly snatched the book on the cushion beside her hoping she would look engrossed in trying to read the story. She looked down at the book as Yakko stepped back into the living room and leaned on the back of the couch.

Resting his chin on his crossed arms he looked down at her and asked, "So Dot, how much of that did you eavesdrop on?"

_Oh the nerve…does he think I'm just like Wakko?_

Ignoring the fact that she had just pulled one of Wakko's tricks she mustered the best innocent face she could. If she pretended to be startled she could pull this off. Wakko never pretended to be startled; the dummy always acted like he just happened to be walking by the kitchen when he got caught.

"What? Oh Yakko, I'm so sorry…hope you don't mind if I read ahead a few pages-"

"Not at all," he drawled. "I'd be more inclined to believe that though if you weren't holding the book upside down at the moment."

_Whoops. This would qualify as a 'Wakko-type' goof._

Trying to look more embarrassed than she really was, she grinned up at him and said, "Fine. So what was it about?"

"I shouldn't tell you," Yakko said back. "You were the one eavesdropping; seems like you-"

"Yakko!" she exclaimed, trying to sound more pleading than whining. "You have to tell me!"

"There's not much I have to do actually; I can just sit back down and we can read-"

"No," she huffed. "I'm not reading anything else; I want to know what it was about! It was about me wasn't it?" When he didn't answer, just smirked at her, she tried a different tactic. She knew Yakko's weak spots; his biggest one was her, especially when she pulled the 'cutesy act' as Wakko called it.

Batting her eyes and standing so she was almost face to face with him, she added, "Please? Pretty please?"

As usual, any attempt on Yakko's part to stand firm in the face of her sweet begging tone fell apart faster than a K-Mart dress in a washing machine. He'd never admit it to anyone, but she knew; he was a sucker for her cute face.

He hadn't been mad of course; he had only been teasing her. He did it often and normally she'd play along for a few minutes before resorting to 'playing unfair', but this was different.

It had to be something important. She noted with no small amount of pride that he thought her opinion was important to ask before he gave consent; he said so right on the phone to Ms. Cunningham. Unless she wanted to do it he wouldn't give consent; he wasn't going to try to force her to do anything.

He rarely 'forced' her to do anything she didn't want to do. Yakko was more of a 'bargaining' type; he said he found it more effective.

And it usually was; if she didn't want to clean her room or help keep the living room picked up he never forced her; he just didn't give her an allowance that week. If she didn't want to eat dinner that was fine; she didn't get desert.

The only things Yakko really 'forced' were things that involved their schooling or health or safety or their jobs. Like learning their lines or not leaving the lot or bedtimes; there was no debating those. You did it or Yakko got 'persuasive'. And from past experience and from watching some of the more interesting 'measures of persuasion' that had been used on Wakko, she tried not to push his hand and make him 'force' her to do something too often.

He was wavering; just a bit more and he'd tell her what she wanted to know and probably give her an ice cream cone to boot. It was nice having her oldest brother wrapped around her finger sometimes.

She grinned and threw her arms around Yakko's neck. Pressing her nose to his she added, "Come on big brother…pretty please? Whipped cream and a cherry?"

That did it.

She giggled as he groaned and picked her up off the back of the couch, balancing her on his hip.

"Fine," he grumbled good-naturedly. "You need to stop doing that; it's not fair."

"Life's not fair," she answered.

She giggled again at his look. He said it enough; why shouldn't she be allowed to use the phrase every now and then?

"Don't need to tell me," Yakko mumbled. He walked around to sit on the couch, holding her in his lap. With a dramatic sigh he said, "OK fine my little snoop, I needed to talk to you anyway."

"I heard that much," Dot said. "About what?"

"Well," he began. "Remember when you wanted to go help the people during the quake awhile back? And how much you like going to go see Goose and helping her out?"

Dot nodded. Of course she remembered; she's the one who had brought all that stuff up. Well, most of the time. Sometimes Yakko wanted to go see Goose. But she liked going to see her too. She thought even Wakko didn't mind going to see Goose too much, but he always complained about having to do work over there.

They had gone last month; Charlotte and Goose had continued to teach her some knitting while Bugs, Yakko and Wakko had started planting some flowers and bushes in her yard.

Dot had to say that Goose really looked happy when they went over there. Even though she hadn't fully recovered from her stroke she was still able to hold a conversation well. Her speech was still a bit broken and slurred but Dot found with a slight bit of effort on her part she had no problems understanding the woman. And she had lots of interesting stories, and not just about Yakko. Dot had determined pretty early on she liked making people happy.

And of course she had enjoyed volunteering some time at the emergency soup kitchen. She had wanted to continue to volunteer at a permanent one, but Yakko wouldn't let her. It would conflict with her shooting and schooling schedule too much; plus they were usually in more dangerous parts of town.

"Well, you had said you wanted to continue, you know, doing some volunteer work, or helping out in some way. Ms. Cunningham, she has an opportunity-"

Dot's eyes met his. This was important.

"What is it?" She breathed. "Is it a soup kitchen again?"

"No, not exactly," he said. "But, a friend of Ms. Cunningham's, she's very sick now…she's in a nursing home." He cocked his head briefly and looked at her. "Do you know what that is?"

Dot paused a moment before nodding hesitantly. "It's a home people put older people in."

"Well not really, no…well kinda yeah I suppose…sometimes," Yakko said. "It's a place for anyone - yes older people mostly but there are certainly younger people in some as well-"

"Younger? Like us?"

Yakko nodded. "Depends on what sort of facility it is. If someone is in a really bad accident or needs constant medical attention because they're really sick they would be. This one Ms. Cunningham's friend is in is for older people, sick people who can't take care of themselves and need help. Do you understand?"

Dot nodded. She was worried though. She never had really thought about it; younger people not being able to take care of themselves because they were sick or hurt? Forever? She could understand for a little while maybe, but every day for the rest of their lives?

She tried to push down her questions for now. Yakko was talking again, apparently satisfied that she understood. She would question him more on this later though.

"This nursing home, it's for humans. Humans that got too sick to take care of themselves anymore and can't afford to hire someone to come take care of them at their house. Remember what happened to Goose? She had the stroke?"

"Yeah, but Charlotte helps her and she drives her to rehab because her car's  
fixed! How come her children don't take care of her then?" Dot asked. "Charlotte does a good job."

"Yeah she does, but that's a different situation. Ms. Cunningham's friend, her name's Mona Shire, her family is-"

Dot interrupted again.

"And you always said that family should stick together and take care of each other! Didn't you mean that?"

She was pretty sure he did; he had never not stuck up for her or Wakko, no matter what they had done.

"Dot," he said again, tipping her chin up so he could look directly at her. "I meant that. I've always meant that; neither of you could ever do something bad enough that I wouldn't be there for you."

That was a relief. Not that she didn't know it anyway, but it was nice to hear, especially after hearing that there were families out there that apparently didn't mean that.

She snuggled back up to him and asked, "Then how come her family-"

Dot stopped and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. It must be something really bad; he usually did that if he was upset about something. She tried to push down a sense of trepidation.

"Sometimes honey…sometimes people don't have any family. Or any family worth mentioning. Or their families are too far away or can't help for whatever reason or don't want to."

_How sad._

Dot leaned back so she was resting her head against Yakko's chest, thinking.

No family, or no family worth mentioning, or one that didn't want to help; a horrible thought. She couldn't imagine that. No matter what happened she always knew she had Yakko there to rely on, Wakko too. She'd like to think that they knew they could rely on her too, to a certain extent anyway.

"But Ms. Cunningham said this place, this nursing home…a lot of the people there don't have anyone that visits, anyone that comes to talk to them, take an interest in them or care about them for a few hours-"

Dot turned to look at Yakko before nodding and said, "And she wants me to go."

"Yeah," Yakko said. "She asked if you'd want to go." He sighed before saying, "Dot, these people, they're really sick. You have to understand that some of them probably aren't going to make it. I don't want you to go and-"

"But I want to go," Dot interrupted. At Yakko's look she continued. "I'm not so busy that I can't help someone for a few hours. What would I do?"

"Ms. Cunningham said something about maybe next weekend. She managed to finally fill out enough paperwork and convince Plotz and the other powers-that-be at the studio to let you stay the weekend with her-"

Dot lost the rest of what Yakko said as she let out a scream of glee.

Finally! After all these months she could finally stay with her friend? Not just a trip off lot but the entire weekend? And they already had something to do; and it was something that would actually help someone else?

"Ms. Cunningham said she sometimes escorts a few kids over there for a short visit, bring small gifts, stuff like that." Yakko looked at her again. "I take it you're interested?"

Dot nodded happily; how could she not be interested?

"Thought you would be. Now little sibling, these people, like I said, don't have a lot of visitors. Some are going to be really lonely and want to talk a lot; others might be…bitter. Don't be put off by that OK?" He reached out and took her chin so she was looking up directly at him. "What you're doing, you and Molly and anyone else that goes along - is a good thing, a really nice thing that not enough people take the time to do. These people sometimes feel forgotten. Some of the other ones might have a few problems and may not realize if they say something mean. If some of them don't want to talk or seem upset, don't blame yourself OK?" His eyes narrowed a bit. "I won't be there, but Ms. Cunningham will be. I hope none of the paparazzi will be. If they are, ignore them. Don't speak to them, let Ms. Cunningham take care of them; it's her job. And don't let them make you feel bad like last time for doing something you want to do."

Dot nodded and returned the hug that Yakko was giving her.

"Giving back to people can be one of the most rewarding experiences you'll have; don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. You're younger than any of them and already you're accomplishing more than they'll ever do. For that alone I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself for it."

Dot felt him break the hug. Mostly Yakko joked and laughed all the time. He had a more serious and soft side too that not a lot of people got to see, including her.  
She always liked it when it came out, especially when it was something she did that brought it out.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Finally, didn't think we'd ever find this damn place," Plucky muttered as he sat on the bottom rung of a ladder.

Wakko nodded in agreement as he crouched behind some scenery. Beside him Buster more or less flopped to the floor. After the last hour all of them were annoyed and frustrated.

They had managed to infiltrate the Japanese tour group, which turned out to be surprisingly easy. Either the guard at the gate was blind or was dumber than Ralph because he barely looked at the three oddly dressed and much shorter tourists that joined the group at the last minute. They hadn't even been asked for tickets; just been escorted inside with the rest.

Then they had met 'Allison', who according to Plucky was the absolute bitchiest tour guide he had ever had the misfortune to listen to. Upon spying the group she had gone into a muttering rage about foreigners that didn't know the language being put in her group again. She hadn't seemed the slightest bit embarrassed about being informed by one of the foreigners that they could speak English and were actually from a studio in Tokyo and had wanted to see how things were done on this side of the world. She had then flown into another hissy fit about people who talked during the tour.

Wakko had to wonder what impression the Japanese were getting of Disney studios. He knew he wasn't too impressed with her. Her personality was more suited to working in fast food rather than at a company whose motto was 'The Happiest Place On Earth'.

Her spaz-attack completed, she finally seemed ready to start the tour, much to Wakko and his friends' relief. Their coats and hats weren't exactly going to last all day.

They had docilely followed along at the rear of the group for a while. He almost hated to say it, but what he had seen of the tour had been fairly interesting. He wished they were actually going to see the whole thing. Allison had even led them past the main administration building which had been impressive if only for the large statues of all Seven Dwarfs holding up the ceiling in place of the pillars.

Buster, who had been keeping a watchful eye out, had finally seen a place to separate themselves from the group.

And it wasn't a moment too soon either; Wakko's coat was fading, as was Plucky's hat. With a final look at the tour group who was listening to the guide drone on about something, they had leaped behind a large stack of crates housing supplies. Oblivious to the fact they were now three members short the group continued on its way.

Following that they had spent the next twenty minutes trying to find either the set for 'Aladdin' or the security office. Already anxious, Wakko was beyond caring which one; as long as he got to pie Darkwing he'd be happy. He didn't care where he did it.

He wished life was more like a television show. On a show if they were doing this they would have been able to sneak past the gate guard with no problems, wandered for maybe thirty-seconds until blundering into the correct set on the first try, where their victim would have been waiting with open arms for them.

And of course on a television show they wouldn't have had to take a break for him to check his blink and grab a quick snack. Unfortunately during this little caper, if he had an issue and conked out the effects would be more devastating than just a bit of embarrassment and maybe a headache. Thankfully Yakko had bought him several snacks and glucose tablets that he carried with him constantly; they'd come in pretty handy a few times, especially today.

In real life though it wasn't the case. It involved lots of hiding and being really quiet or talking in sign-language that now more than ever he was happy he knew. It also involved lots of crawling in things best not thought about and not yelping out loud when Plucky kept stepping on his feet. Fortunately real life did allow him to kick the snot out of Plucky for doing it and his feeling of satisfaction at knowing that Plucky couldn't yell out in pain either.

But it had finally worked out; they had finally managed to blunder to the correct set for 'Aladdin', as indicated by the castle, some palm trees and other plants and lots and lots of sand. Wakko winced; he was getting sand in places he's rather not have it.

And this set was hot; really hot. He almost felt like he was in the desert. He regretted wearing his jacket now; he wished he'd left it at home.

"OK, now that we're here," Buster began. "We've got to find Dipwing fairly quickly, give him his gift courtesy of the fab four…well, minus one," he grinned. "Then we've got to get. We've been gone from our lot for a long time."

"Agreed," Wakko said. "But how are we gonna find him? You think he's just-"  
Wakko broke off at a sound and felt Buster pulling him down. Someone was coming. Plucky dived from the ladder to belly-crawl to them.

They all exchanged glances then as they leaned up to look through the fake greenery of the set. It was a few stage hands coming in to set up. Wakko had been curious about that; the set had been strangely silent since they arrived a few minutes ago. Other than a few hands running around they had not seen anyone, certainly not any of the stars of this show. He wondered if they were on another set somewhere; if they were he hoped they would be coming back. This was the set for exterior shots, and he had no energy or desire to go find the interior shot set.

Getting his attention by a tap on the shoulder, Buster signed that they should move toward the other end of the set, off toward where the director's chairs were set up for the stars to sit and rest between takes. Wakko nodded then dropped to the floor, to crawl on his hands and knees behind Buster. Wakko intended to keep moving; Plucky was so close behind him that he was afraid if he stopped suddenly the duck would crawl over him.

Buster finally stopped and leaned up on his knees. Wakko stopped, thankful that Plucky had been paying attention and didn't ram his head into him and leaned up on his own. They were only a few feet from the chairs; he could even see the names on a few of them: 'security', 'Jasmine', 'Sultan'…there was even a perch for that ratty bird and another one for the mangy monkey.

Wakko looked for a few more seconds before he grabbed a fistful of both Buster and Plucky's shirts and hauled them back down just as an annoying but familiar voice came into his hearing.

"-and I'm glad you came to visit Launchpad."

_Bingo. Everyone's favorite bigmouth and his dopey sidekick._

"How's the helicopter tour business going?"

"You gotta be shitting me," Plucky mumbled.

"Going great DW!" Launchpad raved. "Only one reportable accident!"

Wakko exchanged a grin with Buster and Plucky. Darkwing and his incredibly stupid sidekick were on the scene. He took a breath to hold in his laughter and quietly leaned up to get a better look as the ducks continued their conversation.

"I just know that old lady McGinnley will be out of that full body cast any day now."

Darkwing gave Launchpad a blank look before replying in a monotone voice, "Sounds great Launchpad. Just what I would have expected from you."

Grinning Wakko looked at both ducks for a minute.

That is one ugly duck, he thought, looking at Launchpad. Big shoulders, tiny waist, square beak - such an oddly proportioned toon. He could feel his lip curling in distaste and turned to see Buster giggling on the floor.

"You look like you got gas man - you OK?"

"Just looking at these two ugly ducklings," he whispered back.

They both started giggling, Plucky joining in. They put their fists up to their mouths in an attempt to stay quiet as they continued to watch.

Suddenly Darkwing froze in talking, holding his hand up for Launchpad to stay silent.

"Did you hear something LP? It sounds like giggling."

_Shit._

Wakko dove back toward the floor, his friends doing the same. Now that they had finally found their target, it wouldn't do for them to be spotted before they wanted to be.

"Relax DW; it's just us and a few stagehands raking the sand. Who would be giggling?"

After a second Darkwing sighed and said, "I don't know LP; I'm just jumpy. This is my first official job as onset security for a princess and I beat out a lot of other guys. I mean, there was obviously no contest; the unflappable Darkwing Duck or some average joe - who else would Disney pick to protect their royal highness. But I don't want anything to mess this up. Between that and directing my group of security officers to find those three members of that tour group that mysteriously disappeared-"

"You don't think they snuck on the lot to kidnap the princess do you? Or upset her shooting?"

"Who knows what evil lurks in the minds of these foul fiends?" Darkwing asked.

Wakko rolled his eyes as Darkwing went into a long-winded speech on the potential for any trouble but how no one with evil in their heart would prevail with the mighty masked mallard on the job. Plucky giggled at his look and signed about how everyone liked to say his ego was big, but he'd never top Darkwing.

"And that's why I'm on set before the Princess LP; I wanted to check it out before she appeared. Just in case…"

"Nice job you're doing with that," Buster mumbled. "Standing over there stroking your own ego. Come on you two let's start-"

They all dove back down as more voices entered the set area. Wakko groaned to himself; it had been empty for half the time they had been crouched there, then finally Darkwing comes along, and before they could do anything a million more people enter. He chewed on his lip nervously; they just wanted to pie the chief of security and leave; was that too much to ask?

"Hey Jazz, you suppose we can get the rest of this shot this afternoon?"

_Aladdin._

"We've very little left to do with any outside shots; mostly just for the opener now. I'm sure we'll have no problem getting it done in a few hours, then maybe we can go practice…something a bit more interesting?"

_And Jasmine, her royal highness._

Wakko, took a breath to steady his nerves and ignored the gesturing of Buster who was trying to tell him to stay down. He leaned up and looked through all the palm leaves.

Jasmine and Aladdin, pet primate riding on his shoulder, had entered the set, escorted by three additional security guards dressed in dark blue uniforms.

Wakko grinned; at least they didn't have to dress like Darkwing.

On either side of him Plucky and Buster crouched up to watch, Buster holding his long ears down with his hands while Plucky held his beak closed with his own hands.

"They don't seem too impressed with their security," Plucky whispered to him, finally removing his hands from his beak long enough to speak.

He was right; the royal couple was looking at Darkwing like one would look at a dead mouse. Finally, after a few seconds of this, they began to walk toward the castle set, still talking.

"Did you bring Genie's lamp?" Jasmine asked.

"I'll get it after this; we don't need him for this scene."

Wakko crouched back down, exchanging a confused look with Buster and Plucky, while all of them mouthed 'Genie's Lamp' at the same time.

Buster leaned over to whisper quietly, "I thought it was all special effects!"

"Me to," Wakko whispered back.

He watched as Plucky got a thoughtful look, holding his hand up to his chin.

"Genie could really throw a wrench in the plans…" For the first time, he looked doubtful.

Wakko shrugged, quietly moving a palm tree's leaf out of his face before saying, "Magic Man isn't here yet. We're here now, might as well see what we can get into; if we move quick, before they bring him in for his scene…"

Before they could decide what they should do, Darkwing began spouting off again to Launchpad, who had actually begun to look bored.

"How would you like to meet the newest crop of Disney stars? Aladdin and Princess Jasmine are right over here, and they have some of their co-stars. Let me just dismiss my security underlings; they aren't needed here when I'm on the job. After all, I'm the chief of security."

Wakko and Buster looked at each other, grinning, before they looked at Plucky, who was staring at Darkwing's turned back in amazement.

"What a jerk," muttered Wakko.

"What an ego," Plucky said quietly.

"This guy doesn't deserve a pie in the face; he deserves to be hit with the pie truck," Buster muttered back.

They crawled further back into the scenery quietly, slipping on the sandy dunes.

"Ugh, sand between my toes," Wakko muttered, leaning up against the back of a fake castle pillar.

"Quiet," Buster hissed at him. "You want them to hear?"

"Not really."

Buster gave him a glare which broke into a grin. Nodding his head to the left, they continued to crawl around the set, coming up on the back of the soundstage.

Wakko looked around for the parrot. The animals could spot them easier than the other toons. He mimicked the bird by flapping his arms at Buster and Plucky. When they both looked at him like he was deranged, he did it again and pointed to the perch; he didn't know the ASL word for 'parrot'.

Buster understood and nodded, looked around, and pointed - the bird was flapping off the soundstage into a hallway on the other side of the set, the monkey swinging from the rafters above. They appeared to be playing some strange version of tag.

They stayed crouched down until both toon animals left; the monkey was following the parrot off the set and out a door. Buster leaned in to whisper something to Wakko, but stopped as a human toon, a round little fellow with a bullhorn and wearing jodhpurs and boots came stomping onto the set and went toward the stars.

He put the bullhorn up to his mouth and began talking as the entire set quieted.  
"All right people, and her royal highness," the man added with a small bow at Princess Jasmine, who just coolly regarded the director. "We've only got a few scenes left to film today and we'll be finished with 'Air Feather Friends'. Now then-"

Wakko heard Plucky groan quietly and fought the urge to groan himself. The director was going to give a speech it seemed. He supposed the man was entitled to it; this was the end of the first week of shooting of the new series.

Beside him Buster sat back, leaning against a tree to get comfortable. They wouldn't be doing anything for a few moments; with a set full of people it wouldn't be wise to try to 'fling and flee'.

"-we're completing our very first week, and what a successful week it's been! Now though I think we should all give our chief of security Darkwing Duck a round of applause for handling the security."

Everyone on the set began to clap politely.

Hidden in the foliage, Wakko, Plucky and Buster were making gagging motions, then trying to stifle the laughter that came from it. They all leaned up to watch as Darkwing, uninvited, stepped forward and waved his hands for silence before taking the bullhorn from the stunned director.

The duck began his speech like he was accepting an Academy Award. No one seemed to expect this but also seemed too polite to object, with the exception of Aladdin and Jasmine, who continued to give the duck a cold look. Even the recently returned Abu and Iago, sitting on each of Aladdin's shoulders seemed annoyed with the delay in the schedule.

"It is my pleasure to work security on yet another fine Disney production." he stepped forward to take Princess Jasmine's hand as Aladdin raised an eyebrow. "And it is also my pleasure to work for the lovely Princess Jasmine. I swear to you madam, nothing will happen while this set is under my watchful eye."

Buster, doing a good imitation of Darkwing's fawning demeanor, whispered, "It is totally my pleasure to kiss your patoottie."

Wakko bit back the giggle that was threatening to burst forth, and eyed Buster with a grin. Plucky went back to keeping his beak closed with his hands as Darkwing continued to talk, mostly about himself but occasionally he'd make another fawning reference to the Princess.

Finally the director seemed to tire of Darkwing's endless speech because he wrestled the bullhorn back from the caped clown.

"That was very…thorough Darkwing, thank you. Now then, if you'll kindly take your seat we may have enough time left to finish this shoot today." The director turned his back on Darkwing to ask the cast members to take their positions and for the makeup people to come over and do any touch-ups that needed to be done.

Amused, Wakko looked at his friends and they all crouched back down in the foliage to have a conversation, half whispered and half in sign-language.

"Ok guys," Buster said. "Obviously a big change in plans. Gonna be hard to sneak up and pie him with thirty other people around."

"Be more bang for our buck though," Wakko grinned. "That'll embarrass the hell out of him huh? Getting pied in front of the very Princess whose butt he's been kissing."

Plucky grinned back at him. "I agree. That being said, what should we do?"

Buster appeared to be thinking, albeit with a large grin on his face. Finally he whispered, "First week of shooting huh? He's the best; nothing'll happen right? Wanna see if we can get 'Mr. Chief of Security' fired?"

Wakko tried to look horrified, but knew the look probably didn't reach his eyes.  
"That would be too cruel, too horrible, too despicable," he shot Buster an evil grin. "I love it."

Buster nodded. "Thought you would; I heard his comment 'I hope you three end up penniless and alone'."

Plucky snickered and added, "As Shirley would say, 'Like, it's Karma'. OK Wak, this party's in your honor, so why don't you start off the show? Make me laugh Inksplot."

Wakko snickered at Plucky's impersonation of Shirley before getting an idea. Concentrating and reaching back to his hammerspace, he felt the little breeze and reached in, pulling out a whoopee cushion as Buster and Plucky looked at him, then laughed quietly.

"Going for the juvenile gags, eh Inksplot?"

Shrugging, Wakko shot Plucky a grin and crawled around him, staying as low to the ground as possible. Creeping up to the purple chair that was labeled "Chief of Security", he chucked the prank in, and quickly ran back to Buster. They sat back, balancing on their heels, as Darkwing began walking to his chair, a smug smile on his face, and the director started talking.

"OK everyone, quiet on the set!"

Darkwing had reached his chair as the lights dimmed, and was sitting down as the director said "OK! Act-"

Darkwing had sat down, and the sound of the cushion going off filled the soundstage. All eyes turned to look at Darkwing as Buster, Wakko and Plucky began to giggle, stuffing their hands up to their mouths to try to silence themselves.

Amused, Wakko tried to peek through the plants to watch. Darkwing was stammering and twiddling his cape with his fingers.

"Uh…eh…eh…Excuse me, oh my."

The director eyed Darkwing for a moment while Jasmine sniffed and said something that sounded liked 'crude'.

"All right, if security is done," the director said, waving the crewmen back off the set, "Aladdin, Princess Jasmine, please take your places." He waited until each toon was back in position. "Quiet on the set. Again," he added, eyeing a flustered Darkwing again.

Still hidden, Wakko clutched his sides from laughing so hard and trying to hold it in. Plucky was sitting down, head in his hands laughing, while Buster was once again leaning against the tree snickering silently and holding his stomach.

Who knew the stupid, most juvenile of pranks could be so funny?

Getting themselves under control they finally looked up to watch as Darkwing reached underneath him and pulled out the whoopee cushion. Wakko was surprised that it hadn't disappeared yet. He was tired true, but despite his fatigue it was sticking around. He was definitely getting better.

Darkwing muttered, "What in the world…Gosalyn!"

Wakko exchanged a confused look with the others. Why was he bellowing for her?

"Gosalyn! Gosalyn come out right now!"

"What part of quiet on the set is difficult to understand?" The director had turned around and was yelling in his bullhorn as the cast and crew began to mill around, talking or tapping their feet and glancing at watches.

"I'll find her DW," Lauchpad said.

With that, the taller duck dashed out a door on the side of the set, dashing past the foliage without looking in.

Wakko trying to hold in his laughter was thankful for that. Getting spotted - especially when they were blocked off from the exit - would be unthinkable.  
But lady luck was with them; they weren't spotted.

Several minutes passed, and the director had just gotten the cast back on their marks and the crew back in position when Launchpad came running back in, Gosalyn in tow. Wakko and Buster ducked down, dragging Plucky with them as Darkwing's daughter came wandering in from outside the set with a confused look as the director shot a murderous look in their direction.

Wakko listened as Darkwing began to scold Gosalyn about the 'whoopee cushion' despite her protest that she hadn't even been in the area and a 'whoopee cushion' wasn't exactly her kind of prank.

Wakko muttered, "Not a fan of the cushion, tsk tsk."

Buster nodded. "Even such cliché gags have their place."

Plucky narrowed his eyes. "Probably should wait until he sends her off. Say what you will about her; she's fairly sharp."

Buster nodded. "Unlike her father. Lucky for her she's adopted, which explains that."

They turned back as the murderous cast and crew watched Darkwing and his adopted duckling arguing.

"Young lady - I said you could watch the filming today if you were not going to make a nuisance of yourself!"

"Told you Dad, that's not my style."

"Not another word."

"But -"

"That's a word. Go find something else to do."

"You mean like I was? Good idea!" she snapped. "That way the next time someone pranks you, you won't blame me!"

Looking upset she marched off the set, much to Wakko's relief. Even better, Launchpad whispered something to Darkwing and followed her out. He wasn't worried about Launchpad - the guy hadn't shown much skill in…well…anything, but still, the less eyes back here the better.

Pushing the departing ducks out of his mind, he turned to one duck he did actually respect.

"I started it all Plucky," he grinned. "Now it's your turn to show me what you got."

"Thought you'd never ask," Plucky replied as Buster laughed quietly and shook his head.

"I already know where this is going," Buster said.

Plucky smirked and reached into his own hammerspace, pulling out two brightly- colored squirt guns. Wakko snickered and took the blue one, leaving the green one for Plucky.

"And unlike your little trick Wak, mine has the added bonus of involving both of us. And you call me greedy, hogging all the fun for yourself."

"Jeeze, I didn't know you wanted in so bad Plucky; notice you left out Buster though," Wakko smirked.

"It's cool Inky," Buster said breezily. "I'm content to watch and handle the coup de grace next; I'm just amazed that Plucky actually managed to not only think about someone else for once; he managed to fill the guns too."

"Have to hand it to you," Wakko whispered, "That's a pretty good trick."

Plucky tapped the side of his head and whispered back, "It's all in your mind Wak - just have to envision them that way. Oh, and have the skills that I do."

"Since when?" Buster muttered. "I had to help you with it or you'd still be practicing with Daffy on water ballons."

Plucky gave Buster the finger before turning to glance at Wakko, then pointing at Aladdin. Wakko grinned and nodded. He hadn't missed the glares Aladdin had been shooting at the chief of security.

Buster raised an eyebrow at them, shrugged and got comfortable on the floor against the tree again to watch.

Both boys raised their guns and pointed them through the leaves at the clueless teenager, who was feeding some fruit to the ratty excuse of a monkey on his shoulder. Wakko turned to watch the director and Darkwing.

The director was shouting for everyone to take their places again, in between shooting nasty looks at Darkwing. Darkwing returned the man's look with a solid look of his own, not batting an eye or cringing under the man's glare. When the director returned to the cast, Darkwing sat down again in his chair, placing the whoopee cushion next to him and casting suspicious glances around him, including at the scenery and the rafters above.

Wakko turned from Darkwing back to Aladdin, readjusting his gun so he would get a clear shot. Buster turned briefly to watch Darkwing before signing to Plucky and Wakko, asking if he thought Darkwing was getting suspicious enough to go searching yet.

Wakko shrugged and shook his head before answering. Even if Darkwing was getting suspicious, even he doubted that the masked moron would risk the director's wrath - not to mention Aladdin and Jasmine's wrath - by wandering around the set without a good reason.

Buster had a point though; he was already suspicious and Disney wasn't going to put a total fool in charge of security. As much as he hated to say it, the guy had a half a brain; they shouldn't underestimate him.

He was about to say more but Plucky put up his hand as the director settled back, looking pleased.

"Put a lid on the lecture Buster; we're here for a bit of fun," Plucky said.

"Yeah, I know," Buster said while still watching. "I was just saying-"

"Pipe down!" Plucky hissed. "OK Wakko - Ready."

"Aim," Wakko replied.

After a second, just as the director yelled 'Action', both boys hissed 'Fire' and pulled the triggers of their guns, watching in glee as two large streams of water shot forth, drenching Aladdin and splashing those standing around him as screams of anger and surprise rang out on the set.

"Cut! Cut! The monkey peed on the star!" The director screamed, throwing down his bullhorn in a rage.

Wakko and Plucky bit their lips as Abu began to screech loud and long in protest. Buster, who had been busy laughing quietly despite his misgivings about the prank, gestured for them to hand him their guns. Confused but amused they did so, and he threw them at Darkwing, who had stood at the first yells and had been making his way to the set.

The guns hit him in the head, knocking him backwards just as the director turned to look at him. Seeing the guns clattering to the floor he began to stalk toward him. Wakko felt himself being pulled to the floor by Buster just as the director reached Darkwing, who was standing rubbing his head, only a few feet from their hiding places.

Wakko held his breath, afraid to move or breath; this was the closest Darkwing had been to them. Sure, Plucky blended in pretty well with the plants, and he blended in well with the shadows, but Buster's blue fur didn't exactly match either. If Darkwing looked over, studied the side set to hard, he might be able to spot them.

Nervous, Wakko tried to move further into the bushes, using his body to hide more of Buster, who was lying flat out on the ground beside him. In front of him Plucky, also lying flat on the ground, was covering his head with his hands like he was afraid of a bomb coming down at him.

"You immature moron."

Wakko raised his ears to hear better. Beside him Buster was doing the same. The director was talking in a low voice; Wakko recognized the tone. Plotz used it all the time; Yakko too when he really messed up. It had that deadly hissing quality, sort of like a snake gave right before it was going to strike out. Yelling  
would no doubt start momentarily.

Darkwing sounded as stunned as he was angry.

"Honestly, you can't think that I-"

"Oh, but I do think," the director replied. "Don't try to blame it on the little girl this time. It took a lot of hard work for Aladdin to get his own series."

_It's coming…cover your ears Darkwing…just take this advice…_

"I would hope you would have enough respect for a group of fellow Disney stars too not disrupt-"

"This is totally beneath me! I am a consummate professional! I would never-"

"Just shut up!"

_There it is._

"If you're not up to the task of providing security, I can always find someone else! Your qualifications weren't that good!"

Plucky looked up, grinned at Wakko and gave him a high five before covering his head again.

"I protest this-"

"I would rather you leave the set honestly! But since we have a princess here, we require security. One more disturbance from you, and I will certainly find a more mature guard."

Wakko, ears straining to catch all that was being said, heard the director stomping off toward the Agrabah set, ordering people to get Aladdin dry, refluff the monkey, fix Jasmine's hair and bring in more sand. He waited what seemed like an eternity but was probably a minute at most and slowly leaned up so that he was crouching and looked through the plants again.

Darkwing was walking slowly around the rear area of the set, holding the two squirt guns and with a look of deep concentration on his face. Wakko paused as Darkwing turned toward their hiding space. After a few agonizing seconds Darkwing continued to glance around and Wakko breathed a deep sigh of relief. He glanced down and saw both Plucky and Buster watching him with a mixture of curiosity and worry.

Finally Darkwing walked back to his chair as the cast again began the shoot, and Wakko bent back down to talk to his friends.

"I can't believe how easy this is," Wakko muttered.

"And I can't believe how much fun this is," Plucky muttered back. Cutting his eyes to Buster he said, "OK you furry-assed worry wart, shooting's continued, Dinkwing hasn't figured out a damn thing, it's your turn."

"Good," Buster replied, glancing at his watch. "We gotta move guys; at some point someone on the lot is gonna notice we haven't been seen in hours. I saw we saved the best for last; me. Now we can cut to the damn chase and do what we do best…"

"You mean the pies?" Wakko asked with a grin.

"Yep! After all it was the point of the whole mission and let's face it, it's practically a Warner Brother's tradition."

"Can't argue with that," Plucky said.

"And boys, you gotta 'BYOP'; I'm not supplying pies for all of you."

Wakko nodded and quietly sat up while still staying low enough to be hidden by the trees and scenery. Ignoring his aching body that was screaming at him to slow down for five minutes he reached into his hammer space. Holding his hand flat, he waited a few seconds before bending his fingers; his pie pan had formed.

A split second later the pie itself came into being, the weight of the filling making his hand drop slightly. With a grin he pulled out a nice fluffy banana crème pie. Grinning and holding it with the palm of his hand, he turned to look at his friends expectantly.

Plucky looked at Wakko's, gave him a nod of approval, and reached to his own hammerspace. After a few seconds he pulled out a key-lime pie, complete with an intricate display of several fancy-cut lime slices decorating the top.

Buster, biting his lip and grinning, reached behind him with a look of deep contemplation. Moments later he pulled out his own pie, flaky brown with a nice lattice laced crusted.

Wakko looked at it with curiosity. "Blueberry?"

Buster shrugged and whispered, "I like Blueberry."

"I'm partial to Banana Crème myself," he replied, holding his own up a few inches higher.

Buster smirked and rolled his eyes. "We can trade recipes later Inky. Let's get ready."

Wakko returned his grin. "Faboo!"

Buster laughed quietly. "I call dibs on little Ms. Princess."

"Ahhhh - I wanted her," Wakko whined. "Ok, I call Aladdin."

"Well damn," Plucky muttered. "OK, I call the director. That guy's been getting on my nerves all day with the bullhorn."

"Fine," Buster said. "Aim to please guys. Ready."

The boys pulled back their arms, taking aim at their chosen targets. Aladdin began to say his lines with his perfectly groomed monkey still perched on his shoulder.

"Aim," hissed Wakko.

"Fire!" Plucky said.

Two pies went flying out of the set, a blueberry landing directly in the princess's face, a creamy banana in Aladdin's. A third, thrown a second later, caught the director in the back of the head and began to leak down his back like a broken egg.

Screams and pandemonium broke out. They watched with delighted eyes as Jasmine and Aladdin started screaming about the assault, while the director tried to calm them down in-between bellowing for 'security'. The monkey had leapt off Aladdin's shoulder when the pie was in mid-flight and was now screeching loudly from an overhanging branch. The parrot was perched beside him, yelling about needing more security to protect his person.

This was turning out better than expected. Sure, he hadn't got to pie Darkwing yet, and he may not get the opportunity. But this was probably better. It was definitely as much fun, that was for sure.

Still laughing, Wakko noticed he had a large glob of pie filling on his glove. Chuckling, he flicked his finger to shack the blob off his hand. Not paying attention to where it landed, he inadvertently flung it directly in Darkwing's path as the mallard had been racing toward the set at the first screams.

All three boys watched in fascinated glee as Darkwing's webbed foot hit the filling, and he skidded across the floor to the stunned and angry cast. He ended up sliding into Jasmine, where, as he bumped to a stop, both his hands ended up clutching Jasmine's chest.

Even under the layer of blueberry, lattice crust sitting atop her head like a crown, everyone could see her look go from shocked to angered, and the set got deathly quiet.

Wakko and Buster clutched each other, eyes wide while Plucky leaned forward in anticipation so far that Wakko feared he might tumble right out of their hiding place.

"How dare you?" Jasmine hissed. She was breathing heavy; her eyes narrowed to dark slits. She really reminded Wakko of a pissed off bull getting ready to charge.

Darkwing finally looked down and yanked his hands away like they were on a stove.

"No, Princess, please, it was an acci-"

He was cut off as she slapped him across the face, and he staggered back.

Buster and Wakko were shaking from suppressed laughter. Plucky was holding his beak shut again in some desperate attempt to try to hold the laughter in. Unfortunately it wasn't working for any of them. If the cast or crew listened even halfway close they'd have heard the quiet snorts and chuckles coming from the plants.

_This entire trip has been worth it_, Wakko thought.

Someday, when he was old and grey and would not have to worry about being punished, he would have to tell Yakko and Dot about this.

He turned to watch with the others; it appeared the show was just starting.

Jasmine was raising her hand for another blow when Aladdin grabbed her wrist, stopping her. Head and chest covered in frothy white and yellow he turned to her, not flinching under her glare.

"Please Jazz, don't lower yourself to hitting."

Darkwing looked relieved, holding his beak. Wakko and Buster shared a disappointed glace at each other. Plucky groaned in quiet agony.

"Allow me!"

Everyone watched as Aladdin pulled his fist back and sent it flying into Darkwing's face.

Buster dived back under the scenery, where Wakko could hear him laughing, slightly louder than before. Eyes watering, Wakko quickly followed him down, holding his stomach. Plucky had tumbled backwards with a loud 'thump' that Wakko hoped wouldn't be noticed.

His dream had come true, and he could die a happy boy.

Aladdin's punch though, had an unexpected effect that no one had counted on and since they were under the scenery they didn't think about it. Too busy laughing and congratulating themselves on a job well done, they didn't notice until it was too late that Aladdin's punch had sent Darkwing careening toward their hiding place.

The caped duck tripped and staggered backwards, did a fine imitation of Goofy's yell and smashed into the scenery that was hiding them. In between snorts of laughter Wakko wondered why Darkwing's screams seemed to be getting louder.

Wakko cut his laughing short as plants and sand scattered around him when the duck came crashing through the scenery. He looked up in surprise as the entire cast and crew, not to mention one seriously pissed off caped crusader were now looking at the three of them.

_Uh-oh…_

"You!"

"Caught," exclaimed Wakko.

"Busted," Buster answered back.

"Shit," Plucky added.

_Need to think quick..._

Too shocked to move for a second, all three of them simply stared in horrified fascination at Darkwing.

Another thing about lack of planning - they had no idea what to do if they were spotted. Or cornered.

_Dumb dumb dumb._

Darkwing though was recovering from his shock quite nicely. Now on his feet he slowly stalked toward them. Wakko watched him for a second before a realization hit him. The duck was pissed, he was going to grab them, they were going to probably get throttled by him and then he would turn him over to TIS and he was never ever going to get to go home again. And his friends would get in trouble too.

He didn't know how he managed to think about all those thoughts in roughly two and a half seconds, but he did. And he knew he couldn't allow any of those things to happen.

"Damn it move!"

He lunged toward his still stunned friends, shoving them all out of Darkwing's path just as he reached for them all. The jolt of Wakko's body, plus being knocked a few feet across the floor seemed to snap them back to the present situation.

Buster seemed to get back in the swing of things because he yelled, "Pie, now!"

Not thinking about it, Wakko reached behind him pulling out another one as Buster and Plucky did the same. They aimed and slammed Darkwing in the face and head at one time.

Buster stood first, showing a surprising amount of strength as he hauled both Wakko and Plucky to their feet.

"Need to beat feet guys," Buster said. "Mission is seventy-five percent accomplished!"

He began to drag Wakko toward the door. Plucky wiggled free of Buster's grasp and had already run the short distance and was standing next to it, hopping up and down in anticipation. Wakko thought he looked like he had to go to the bathroom; he really hoped the duck could hold it because this was not a great time for a potty emergency.

Wakko looked over his shoulder; Darkwing was angry and was muttering threats under his breath as he staggered around, trying to slop pie out of his face and wring it out of his hat and mask.

"This is your idea of security - pied by a group of ten-year-olds? Darkwing you're fired!" The director was screaming as an obviously angry Jasmine and Aladdin stormed off the stage to their dressing room.

_Probably want showers_, Wakko thought. _It was toon pie, it would disappear in a little while, no big deal. What a bunch of crybabies._

"You'll never work for Disney again! By the time I'm done, you'll be lucky to get a job as a tour guide!"

"Good," Plucky said as Wakko and Buster finally reached him. "He can replace that bitch from earlier."

Wakko bit back a nervous laugh before exchanging a glance with his friends. Darkwing was now glaring at them, but not moving.

Buster, unable to resist getting the last word in, shot a quick grin at Wakko before saying with a smirk, "Sorry we can't stick around to help clean up Dinkwing."

"Yeah, great party though," Plucky added. "Really loved the scenery."

"I'll give your love to Yakko. We gotta go - buh-bye," Wakko tossed in with a smirk of his own.

With that, all three of them began making kissing noises and waving at Darkwing.

The ex-chief of security, enraged, charged at them. Feeling his eyes begin to bug out, Wakko turned and kicked the double doors open, grabbing Plucky and Buster as he did so and began running. The doors led out into a hallway and he stifled a groan; this place was nothing but hallways. If - no, when - they got out of this place he never wanted to see another hallway again.

He felt his friends begin running on their own and he let go so he could concentrate on moving himself. Darkwing was fast - he knew that from past experience - but he was fairly sure they were faster.

Or he really hoped so.

This particular hallway was more filled with people than Wakko had seen on the studio grounds all day. But at this point they were all too panicked to concentrate on not being seen. Running three across they plowed into some nameless toon woman and knocked her to the ground, scattering the papers she was holding.

"Sorry!" Plucky called behind him.

Several other toons and humans jumped out of the way as they continued barreling down the corridor.

"Get back here you little miscreants!" Darkwing screamed behind them.

"Yeah, right," Wakko muttered as Plucky panted beside him.

Wakko turned to Buster and asked, "How do we get out of here?"

Buster glanced at him and said, "How should I know? I've never been here before!"

Wakko looked at him, feeling panic starting to rise in his chest. Buster, the brains of the whole damn group, didn't know?

"I thought you knew this place!" Wakko demanded.

"I knew where it was - I don't have a room by room layout!"

"Oh, who's the dumb ass now?" Plucky asked. "And you wanted to be in charge."

_Oh man, we're in trouble._

Ducking and dodging toons and humans, they took a left, Wakko crossing his fingers that they would see an exit sign. Lady luck had abandoned him in his hour of need though; no exit sign to be seen. Just another hallway, with more hallways crossing it.

"Damn," he muttered. "We have got to get out of here!"

"Keep calm buddy, we will," Buster said back. "I think we need to go left again."

Wakko looked over his shoulder as he ran; Darkwing was still behind them, and appeared to be gaining. And he had been joined by two other guards.

"How the hell do you know?" Plucky demanded. "You just said-"

"Trust me; I am a rabbit toon. I can tunnel underground where it's completely dark! I've got a very good sense of direction."

"Don't give me that crap! You live above ground in a house in the suburbs!" Wakko yelled.

"I can still tunnel," Buster reasoned. "Just trust me pal."

Wakko hesitated then nodded while Plucky began muttering under his breath, wondering what his father's hands around his throat was going to feel like.

Wakko chose not to say anything and just keep running; Buster's reasoning seemed sound and they didn't have much choice anyway.

They took a left, Darkwing and his posse staying with them, and Wakko was starting to get scared. If he caught them they were screwed.

'Shit out of luck' as Max would say.

Max would also say 'I make my own luck'.

He wished Max was there; he sort of missed the mongoloid. But Max was apparently with him in spirit, or at least in his smart-assed sayings. And that one seemed like it could offer some assistance.

Thinking, Wakko reached into his hammerspace and pulled out a bag of marbles as Buster looked at him and Plucky rolled his eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me Wak," Buster said.

"Don't knock the classics man," Wakko snapped. "I don't see you pulling out anything."

Wakko reached in, taking out a handful and throwing them down on the thin carpet. As he expected, most Disney toons just weren't used to this amount of slapstick humor, and he grinned as he heard Darkwing yell and go crashing to the floor with a loud but very satisfying thud, followed by more thuds as his lackeys fell along with him.

Wakko chanced a quick glance behind him, and almost started laughing again as he saw Darkwing buried under the other guards, and stunned employees watching the entire spectacle with astonished expressions on their faces.

Satisfied, he turned to Buster with a smug look on his face.

"Fine – I was wrong," Buster said amicably. "The oldies still work."

"Stop patting yourself on the back Inksplot; you slowed the posse," Plucky added. "Big whoop."

"Now kick up the toon speed man," Buster ordered. "We've got to get out of here!"

Wakko grinned but couldn't argue with such a reasonable suggestion. He concentrated on Chucking his body the way he was supposed to, and quickly felt himself propelling down the corridor faster than before. It used up a lot of energy and he'd probably sleep well tonight, but if they were able to get out of here he could do the sleeping in his own bed. Beside him he saw Plucky and Buster go into green and blue blurs as they took another right, then a left again.

Still young, they couldn't go too far, but it put enough distance between them and their pursuers to make them somewhat comfortable. Plucky finally slowed, then stopped as they came into a short empty hallway.

Out of steam, the duck leaned his back against the wall panting while Wakko fell against the wall beside him, exhausted. Buster just leaned his head on it, puffing.

"Fine, let's take five guys," Buster huffed. "I think we're almost out."

"Hope you're right," Plucky said. "I don't have much left in me."

Wakko looked up. They were near the end of the corridor. They could either go left or right down a hallway, or go through yet another set of double doors directly ahead of them.

He refrained from groaning; how the heck do they get out of this place? He couldn't remember which direction they had come in. Why hadn't he paid more attention to that? It seemed like such a small thing too, so trivial and unimportant at the time.

He'd pull a map out hoping it could lead them out of the hellish hallway, but of course since he had no idea where he was, it wouldn't do much good. In order to pull a map that was correct out he had to know where he was, and he couldn't do that if he had never been there before, which usually made a toon created map virtually worthless.

A compass might help, but since he couldn't read a compass, and again he had no idea where the hell they were, it wouldn't do much good. They had taken so many twists and turns he wasn't sure Buster even knew anymore. All Buster kept saying was 'we need to head north', and Wakko just followed him because the last time he had checked north was up and they sure as hell couldn't fly out of there.

"We've got to move Bunny," Plucky said. "If we get caught in here-"

"I know, I know! I didn't think it would be this hard to get out!" Buster exclaimed. "Let me think…OK I think north is-"

"There's a set of doors right here-"

Wakko cut off and staggered as he felt something hard hit the right side of his head. He let out a yelp as he fell, thinking that his life was over and Darkwing had grabbed his ear. He was caught and his life was over and he was really really sorry he agreed to do this-

He looked up at a 'hissing' sound, and saw Buster had pulled out a spray bottle of seltzer water and was directing the stream of water into the air above him. The sounds of screams and chattering and squawks of anger and rage were filling the hallway.

Wakko spun around to see that Buster had just seltzered the monkey and the parrot above him. Wakko pulled a bottle himself, and the two of them began to shoot at the animals, replacing their bottles as needed as Plucky finally joined in.

The parrot had the monkey in his claws, and the monkey was pelting him with fruit he was carrying in a basket he was holding with his feet. Wakko looked at the monkey again; the scrap of fur had almost brained him with a mango.

Annoyed, Wakko picked up the mango by his feet and threw it at the bird, who let out a squawk and a couple of swear words before flying closer, trying to avoid the sprays of water coming at him.

Plucky finally got tired of the seltzer water apparently because he began pulling out water balloons and throwing them at the bird. Unfortunately for Iago, Plucky had really good aim and didn't seem inclined to stop anytime soon.

Finally the soaking wet parrot quickly made a turn in mid-air and began flying down the hallway the way they had come, still throwing curses and threats back at them. He almost dropped Abu when Wakko threw a well aimed mango at the bird's rear end. Abu half turned and angrily shook the empty basket at them as they disappeared around the corner.

Wakko was a bit stunned; he always thought the parrot was a big mouth and coward. He shrugged; the same could be said about Plucky, but when push came to shove the duck always jumped in and pulled his own weight.

"Thanks guys!"

"No problem pal," Buster said.

"Yeah Wak, and now let's get out of here!"

Wakko heard the panic in Plucky's voice, and turned to look at what he was staring up the hallway at.

Their enraged pursuer had found them. He appeared to have also found not only his second wind, but several more security guards. Darkwing was stalking toward them, his silly toilet-plunger gun out but not aimed at them.

"Don't move kids - you're caught."

"Great - that stupid parrot was flying a reconnaissance mission for him," muttered Buster as he moved forward slightly, putting himself in front of Wakko.

_Shit. Mayday mayday! We're going down!_

Wakko noticed the gesture and appreciated it but he had no intention of letting his friend go down. Behind him he could feel Plucky tugging gently at his jacket and gibbering something. Wakko tried to ignore him; he sounded like Costello in the middle of a panic, desperately trying to get Abbot's attention.

"When I get my hands on you three I'll wring your scrawny necks," Darkwing was saying. "Especially you Warner boy. You three think you can come onto my home turf and make me look like a fool-"

"We don't need to think! We already proved we could!" Wakko shot back.

"Not smart dude, not smart at all," Buster muttered while shaking his head.

"Doors," Plucky squeaked.

"Sorry, sorry, Yakko's influence," Wakko muttered to Buster.

He really wished his older brother was here right now; he would know how to get out of this.

Scratch that, Yakko would never have gotten into this mess. His older brother would have planned this out; maps memorized, locations known, a concrete fool-proof plan in place, keeping a calm cool head all while throwing out quips left and right…

What was he saying? Yakko would have been smart enough to never come here.

He was going to end up in the orphanage. They were caught and this was it. He was going to lose his entire family, his life, because of a stupid prank.

No way.

"Guys…doors!" Plucky squeaked again, tugging harder on Wakko's jacket.

Wakko ignored him. He wasn't going down without a fight. Reaching behind him, hoping he had just a little bit of strength left, he pulled a pie; he didn't think about what kind, he didn't care, it was something.

Darkwing was about fifteen feet from them, walking slowly with the security guards behind him still.

"Now boys, just give it up. Admit you're caught and come along quietly. I know you Bunny boy - your father's an employee over at your home studio; you don't have much to worry about except an angry parent. Same with you Duck; worst that will happen to you two is you go embarrass yourselves on a kids' show again."

Wakko saw Buster reach behind to his own hammerspace and pull something; he couldn't tell what it was though. Wakko fingered his own pie pan behind his back while Plucky began tugging at him harder, using his other hand to begin tugging on one of Buster's ears.

Meanwhile, Darkwing was addressing him.

"You however, Warner, you don't have any parents. It's obvious that your brother hasn't been doing a good job raising you or your sister. Look at the situation you're in right now - was he too much of a coward to come fight me himself he sent a group of children to do his dirty work?"

Wakko drew in a sharp breath; Yakko wasn't too much of a coward, he was just a lot smarter than that. Saying that wouldn't help this rather tense situation out any though. Better to stay silent; they might still find a way out of this disaster if he kept his mouth shut.

"You were engaging in criminal activity since the day I laid eyes on you. Now, well over a year later you've graduated to even more serious criminal behavior; trespassing, assault, vandalism-"

"We didn't vandalize anything," Buster said. "Most we did is show what an incompetent leader you are."

"Yeah," Plucky said in a high squeaky voice from behind him. "The only crime I see around here is the fact that you're still employed."

_Shit, shit, shit,_ Wakko thought. _I was worried about my own big mouth and I forgot about Buster's and Plucky's._

"You two were already delinquents long before you made this other one's acquaintance," Darkwing hissed. "I'm just wondering where the other member of your little gang is, whatever his name is. I'm tired of all of you; you surrender now and I will request that the studio not press charges, and you-"

"Now!" Buster screamed.

With that the rabbit threw a pie and Wakko followed, pleased to notice that both pies landed directly in Darkwing's face, one right after the other.

They didn't look like pies though. Wakko squinted; his looked like a mud pie…with cherries. Buster threw something that looked like badly burnt macaroni and cheese. Whatever the rabbit had in his pie though exploded, showering Darkwing, his security guard troop, and the surrounding hallway in a dark yellowish goo.

Wakko had to admit, it was effective, but probably not what Buster was aiming for. They were tired; too tired to keep this up. They had to get out-

"God damn it the doors!" Plucky screamed, yanking both Wakko and Buster around and yelling in their faces. "I kept telling you-"

"You were babbling Plucky, I wasn't paying attention!" Wakko insisted. He had honestly forgotten about the doors. He wondered if it even mattered; with the way the day had been going it probably just led to another hallway anyway.

"Pay attention now pea-brain!" Plucky pointed behind Wakko's shoulder and he turned to look. Darkwing was taking aim at them with his gun.

Wakko felt himself being pushed down by Plucky as Darkwing pulled the trigger, and once again as if in some sick twisted version of de ja vu a net came exploding out of the end of the gun. Plucky yanked both Wakko and Buster out of the way and knocked them to the floor, so they narrowly avoided getting caught in the net.

"Door! Move! Now!" Buster yelled.

Wakko jumped to his feet, heart hammering and fingers crossed. He hoped that this door led to an exit, he had never wanted to see an exit so bad in his entire life.

"Hey asshole!"

_Damn it._

Wakko turned as Plucky stopped and called to Darkwing, pulling something out of his own hammerspace. Wakko choked back a burst of laughter; Plucky had pulled a small lighted bomb.

"The missing delinquent is Max - here's a present from him!"

With that he tossed the bomb at Darkwing. Wakko was surprised that Darkwing caught it; either it was a reflex thing or the guy was an idiot. The rest of his security company wasn't though; they scattered as the fuse ran out-

_Uh-oh…_

Wakko pushed open the double doors and grabbed his friends, pulling them through as he heard the small explosion behind him.

Wakko started laughing, a loud no doubt deranged laugh. It wasn't a hallway. They had blundered into the large lobby of Disney Animation Studios. All the walls were glass, but that was a huge relief; across the large lobby, they could see the street; cars, people, toons, and best of all, escape and freedom.

Between sweet freedom and them though was an entire lobby of tourists, toons both known and unknown, humans, and more security guards. Darkwing must have called for reinforcements. So much for his declaration that nothing was going to happen on his watch.

"Pull whatever you got guys; it's like Custer's last stand," Buster ordered quietly.

The three of them looked at each other, nodded once, then looked again at the curious people in the lobby. Wakko knew they must have looked insane; three Warner Brother's stars looking harassed and disheveled tearing out of a hallway that ultimately led to the sets and soundstages for most of the Disney shows, the scent of smoke wafting from out of the hallway behind them.

With Buster's order though, Wakko began pulling pies and whatever else he could come up with, the others doing the same.

They pulled several more pies of varying consistency and flavors, and began chucking them at anyone who got in their way. The floor was littered with filling and stomped crusts, screams and curses filled the air, and people and toons were sliding across the floor, in panic and disbelief.

Wakko watched out of the corner of his eye as Buster threw a well aimed blob that may have been a cake at Eeoyre who was hiding in a corner by Winnie the Pooh. Tigger did try to bounce in front of the pie but was too slow, and Eeoyre ended up catching the pie in the face. He fell back and landed on Winnie, effectively handing the bear's ass to him.

Thinking about that, Wakko almost felt like he was going to pass out from the combination of panic, fear, and laughter.

All of a sudden he felt his jacket being pulled backwards and the collar pulling tight around his neck.

_Caught. Damn._

"Gotcha you shit!"

Wakko stopped laughing, not wanting to turn around. He didn't have to though; he'd recognize that nasally voice anywhere. It would haunt his nightmares for years to come no doubt.

In all the mayhem he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on behind him and somehow Gosalyn had managed to sneak up on him. Of all the rotten luck; he was feet from freedom and he was going to get caught by a girl? And not just any girl - this one?

Even if he did escape he'd never hear the end of this.

"Let go you brat!" he yelled, trying to shake her off.

"Keen gear! Don't have your little girlfriends to save you this time Warner," she snickered evilly. Yelling loudly she began calling for her father.

Wakko didn't want to hit her; he just wasn't going to hit a girl, no matter what girl it was. Unless he got desperate enough; who could say what he would do if he got desperate? Darkwing was coming out of the door, a flood of blue clad security guards following him.

He quickly began trying to undo the buttons on the jacket, planning on wiggling out of it. He really liked the jacket, but he liked the idea of getting out of there more. Yakko may bitch at him for losing the jacket, but at least he'd be at home to hear him bitch.

"Don't think so Red," Plucky said, running up beside him with a pie in his hand.

"Better let go of my friend."

"Or what-"

Plucky didn't give her a chance to finish; he smouched the pie in her face, rather gently all things considered. Wakko was almost stunned; he didn't think Plucky had it in him. Then again, the whole desperation thing.

"Can't take you anywhere Inksplot," Plucky said. "I mean…Gosalyn dude? What the hell?"

"Shut up and run," Wakko grumbled.

Buster was near the doors, yelling at them to get their asses going as he held off a few security guards and half the cast of 'Bonkers'.

Wakko, running beside Plucky as they reached Buster looked behind him. Darkwing was right behind them, not even slipping on the mess in the lobby.

"We're never gonna make it!" Plucky screamed.

"We will, I've got a little bit left in me, not much, but -" Buster reached behind to his hammerspace, pulled one more pie, and heaved it at Darkwing. It hit him in the chest, but this time didn't slow him down.

Wakko was pretty spent at this point, but reached behind him, hoping to grab something, anything, out of his hammerspace to help them. Feeling around his hammerspace, his fingers hit on a banana, and he pulled it out. He stared at it for a second, then shrugged, peeled, and ate it.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Buster panted, still running.

"You got a better idea?" he shot back.

When they shook their heads he threw the peel behind him as they reached the large glass doors. Unable to help it, Wakko turned to look and was stunned to see that Darkwing slipped on it and went flying in the air, finally landing on his back in the middle of the lobby amid the stunned tourists and employees.

Starting to laugh, more from fear and nerves than any real amusement, they turned and tumbled out the door, knocking several toons out of the way in the process.

As they ran down the stairs to the sidewalk, Wakko grinned as he heard what he was sure was Goofy's signature scream and a loud thud.

Smirking to the others beside him as they ran he said, "And you two keep doubting me; I told you the old classics work just fine."

Buster whipped his head around to look at him like he was deranged for a few seconds, then burst out laughing, clapping his hands as they continued to run, Plucky clutching his stomach but still managing to keep up.

Following Buster's instructions they ran several blocks, finally ducking into a dingy alley and hiding behind a dumpster. Panting heavily they leaned on the brick wall, trying to catch their breath.

"I had no idea that guy was so fast," Plucky panted, holding his chest, but laughing.

"I thought that gut of his would've slowed him down," Wakko answered, laughing himself, holding his side. He had a cramp.

"I had my misgivings about this whole thing," Buster added before sinking to the ground, still chuckling. "I mean, Plucky kept promising it would be fun and I wasn't that optimistic but I'm willing to say I was wrong. I can't believe we got away with that!"

"No kidding," Wakko said. "And Plucky, have to thank you man for your timely pie-"

"Don't sweat it Inksplot. I'd never hear the end of it from boy blue if you got caught," Plucky said, throwing his arm around Wakko's shoulders. "And, you know, I'd probably miss you," he added lamely before saying, "Plus, I saved your jacket so you really owe me."

"Yeah yeah I'll do your Math homework for the next week."

"Enough clowning you two," Buster said while looking at his watch. "We've been gone a lot longer than we should have. We need to get back now before someone starts looking for us. Besides, I think I need a nap."

Wakko nodded as Buster stood and led them out of the alley and out into the street.

"Looks like the coast is clear," the rabbit said. "We're almost at the lot."

Buster started snickering, and Wakko looked at him with a grin on his face.

"What?"

"Thinking about Dorkwing slipping into Jasmine there - she about slapped the bill off his face!"

Wakko laughed. "Her? Did you see that punch her boyfriend delivered? Who knew Aladdin could throw a left hook like that?"

"Yep," Plucky said. "Darkwing is going to have an eye as purple as that lame cloak he likes to creep around in. Wish I got a picture."

Snickering Wakko nodded as they rounded a corner. Looking up he stomped his foot.

"Darn it. Forgot about that."

Buster looked and groaned. In all the confusion, they had inadvertently wandered up to the front gate instead of walking to the back of the lot and going in the hole.

"Oh for the love of - Buster," Plucky said, glaring at the rabbit. "We snuck out the back fence because we didn't want to be spotted, remember that part Mr. Leader? Is there some reason that I'm missing for why we're now going to just walk through the front of the studio?"

"Shut up Plucky I forgot. OK, the back lot fence is a mile that way," Buster said, pointing to his left. "Think we should go back?"

Wakko thought, and then spoke.

"Nah - Ralph's at the post, and we all know he's dumb as a brick. We can probably sneak in…can't we?"

_Maybe we should do the extra walking…_

Plucky nodded. "Very true. We just escaped half a studio - we should be able to sneak around one dumb guard."

"I don't know guys," Buster started before seeing Wakko and Plucky looking at him. He shrugged. "Fine, we'll sneak in. We get caught don't come whining to me."

_Yeah, what could happen?_

They walked slowly up to the gate, trying to stay low and out of sight. Reaching the guard shack, Buster paused before standing slightly so he could look in the window.

The rabbit snorted and said, "Would you look at that? We're sneaking around and he's not even at the post!"

Wakko stood and rolled his eyes. "Some security guard."

With Plucky beside them they looked one more time and entered the gates. It was an odd time of day on a Friday; there wasn't much traffic around. They were pretty much home free now.

"You know one bad thing about this?" Plucky smirked at him.

Wakko looked at him.

"We really can't even brag about this-"

"Oh come on Plucky," Buster said.

"I'm serious Buster. No one caught us! I didn't see any security cameras-"

"Oh God," Buster muttered. "I didn't even think about that…"

"Chill Bunny. I don't think anyone got so much as a snapshot of our tails."

Wakko happily sighed. "Don't even complain. The ones we choose to tell will believe us. It's a good thing no one got pictures because if they ever-"

He was cut off as a large shadow suddenly loomed over them, and he felt himself being picked up by the scruff of his neck. Beside him he saw Buster being lifted at the same time, a split-second later Plucky was also flying in the air.

Dangling three feet off the ground, Wakko turned fearful eyes to Buster, whose look matched his own. With a quick glance at Plucky they all slowly looked over their shoulders to see Ralph holding them. And for once the portly but usually pleasant security guard didn't look real happy.

_Uh oh…_

"Daaaaa...and whats was you three doing off da lot?"

Wakko's mind was reeling - they got away with all that to be caught by Ralph?

_Stupid stupid._

"You three ares coming wit me." Giving them a gentle shake he added, "You did a bad ting so I gots to take ya in."

_Take us in? Oh man we're being arrested? Was this really worse than boosting the golf cart and cracking up the side quarter panel of the Batmobile?_

XXXXXXXXXX

Wakko felt a brief burst of relief when he realized he over reacted and they were not being arrested. His terror came back threefold when he found out that they were instead being 'escorted' to Plotz's office.

He'd rather deal with the cops.

He had tried to kick Ralph; all of them had. Unfortunately the guard had stunned all of them by having some sort of idea of what their plan was because he held them all at arms length until they gave up.

Wakko had an idea that this all went back to the 'don't underestimate anyone' spiel that Yakko had been chattering about awhile ago.

He and his friends had been silent as Ralph had carried them across the lot, through the lobby of the administration building, and during the ride on the elevator up to the top floor where Plotz's office was. They hadn't said a word, but their hands were moving a mile a minute, mostly in a panic wondering if the studio had already found out or if this was regarding something else. Finally they had decided they should play dumb and let Buster do the talking for now.

Hearing the elevator make a 'ding' sound and the doors open, Wakko could already hear Plotz's voice echoing through his office door. Wakko had to admit he was almost looking forward to arriving just so Ralph would unhand him. Being carted around by the scruff of your neck was uncomfortable.

Ralph moved Plucky to the same gigantic hand that was holding Buster and Wakko and opened the door quietly, not even bothering to knock. Wakko had a bad feeling that they were expected, especially after he started listening more to the heated conversation Mr. Plotz was having with whoever was on the line with him.

"I can assure you that I know of no Warner Brothers stars on your lot! This is intolerable! Why would I…" Mr. Plotz paused as whoever he was talking to spoke, and he began to sputter. "Don't take that tone with me! I...what do you mean you're ready to sue for damages? Pictures? You want a what? An apology? Banned? Videotape in the lobby? Destroyed? You...no! What – pies...MudPies? A bomb! Now this is absurd...No, I told you, I don't know what you're referring to and as soon as I speak to the children I will…now wait, I have not received them yet but when I do I will-"

Wakko saw him look up in mid-sentence and finally spot him, Plucky and Buster as Ralph held them a little higher. Plotz's face went from shock to rage.

Wakko smiled at him and gave a wave; wouldn't hurt to be friendly.

Buster also gave him wave, and began to examine his gloves calmly.

Plucky just stared at him before hiding his face in his hands muttering.

Mr. Plotz narrowed his eyes at them and continued to speak into the phone. "We will discuss this later – I have to attend an important meeting...no I will not – I told you, that is unacceptable! I will return your call later!"

With that he slammed the receiver down and looked hard at them.

Wakko and Buster looked at each other, gulped, crossed their fingers, and returned to looking at him.

Wakko decided to try first. "Heh, eh, hi ya Plotzy!"

Buster also decided to make nice. "So good to see you Mr. Plotz."

Plucky finally looked up and said, "Yeah, we decided to come by for a visit. How's the wife and kids?"

Mr. Plotz looked at Ralph.

"Sit them down Ralph."

No yelling, never a good sign.

Wakko winced as Ralph dropped him in a chair directly in front of Plotz's desk. He heard two additional thuds as Ralph dropped both Plucky and Buster in the two chairs beside him. With a glance at each other they turned to look at Plotz, who was staring at them, one eye twitching, breathing heavy.

"I am absolutely beside myself."

Wakko opened his mouth to point out he wasn't really, when Buster's hand shot over his mouth. Cutting his eyes to Buster, he saw him shaking his head. Wakko nodded; probably not a great time to make a joke.

"I have been getting calls nonstop from Disney Studios, not to mention nosy reporters, wanting interviews and information." He stood to stalk toward them, and they shrank back in their chairs as he stood in front of them, his voice raising slightly as he continued.

"Do you know what those calls are about? Why, there's a ridiculous rumor going around that a trio of troublemaking Warner Brother's stars - who fit your descriptions I might add – left this lot and snuck onto the Disney property!"

Mr. Plotz gave a mirthless chuckle and Wakko eyed him a little suspiciously. He really didn't think the man would find even a rumor like that funny.

"It just sounds so absurd, so stupid…and you three couldn't be that stupid."

"Of course not Mr. Plotz," Buster said in the most respectful tone Wakko had ever heard him use. "I've always considered us three of the smartest toons around. I mean, take a look at any of our grades; all top marks."

Buster obviously hasn't seen my last few grades in English.

"Oh definitely," Mr. Plotz agreed. "But there's a difference between book smarts and good old common sense. There's no way you three would dare leave the lot - especially Warner here - and go sabotage a shoot. I told the CEO of Disney - that he had to be on some sort of drug if he thought you three were over there today."

"I agree," Buster said. "He must be on drugs; it'd really explain a lot of things, like him green lighting 'Bonkers'."

"Why, I told Mr. Katzenberg that I would require proof if he was going to accuse three of my stars of that sort of nonsense," Mr. Plotz continued as if Buster hadn't spoken. "Thankfully one thing Disney has never been lax on is security; with the exception of the bathrooms I think every square inch of that lot is under video surveillance-"

_Oh no…oh no oh no oh no…_

"-so I thought the four of us could just sit here and wait together until the package containing their supposed proof arrives."

_Oh wow, could this get any worse?_

Wakko shot a frightened look at Plucky, who was wearing one that matched his. So much for no one not even getting a snapshot of a tail. Gnawing on his lip Wakko glanced over at Buster, who looked cool as always. Wakko felt a slight bit of hope; maybe the brainy rabbit had a plan.

"So what have you boys been up to today?" Mr. Plotz asked genially.

Wakko glanced back at Plucky, who looked too frightened to speak. Wakko had no idea what to say; it would do no good to lie, especially if they had proof, or proof was going to be forthcoming.

"Just, you know, running around here and there, keeping ourselves entertained by practicing some of our Toon Theory lessons," Buster replied, looking directly at Mr. Plotz in an even stare. "I mean, you can never study too much right?"

"Oh right, right," Mr. Plotz replied with a smile that didn't reach his narrowed eyes. After a second of staring at Buster he began to chuckle again. "You should have heard some of the things the chief of Disney security accused you of. It sounded like a Toon Theory obstacle course. Talk of assaulting Darkwing Duck himself with everything from pies to banana peels."

"Sounds great," Buster said. "Can't wait to see a tape of this."

"Oh me too, me too," Plotz agreed before turning to Plucky. "And what about you Plucky?"

"Me?"

"Yes? Or you Wakko?"

"Um, what about me…Mr. Plotz…sir?"

_Crap, what'd I do? He was talking to Buster!_

"About all this? Horrible isn't it, to be accused of doing such a dastardly crime, even interrupting a shoot, when you three were just innocently here all day? They think you snuck over there to disrupt that shoot."

_Keep calm Wakko you can do this…_

"Oh yeah, tragic," Wakko replied, wondering where this was going.

"Oh yeah," Plucky agreed, talking faster than normal. "I mean we've been here all day; we'd never leave the lot-"

"Right!" Wakko agreed.

"Guys-" Buster warned quietly.

"-and why did they think we had something against Aladdin anyway?"

"And how do you know it was Aladdin?" Mr. Plotz asked with a sneer on his face and a triumphant look in his eyes.

Wakko put his hand over his eyes while Buster rolled his eyes and sunk low in his seat. Plucky seemed to realize his error right away because he slammed both hands back over his beak.

"Idiot," Buster muttered.

"Don't worry about it mallard we were caught anyway," Wakko sighed, seeing the duck's look of horror. "Basically just prolonging the inevitable."

"It just…slipped out! I didn't mean it! Ya gotta believe me!"

Of course he did; Plucky was no snitch, he never had been. And Plotz had been sort of crafty, not going his usual screaming route and acting almost like a sane, rational toon for a few minutes. Wakko had to admit that he might have slipped up himself if it had gone on much longer.

"Don't sweat it Pluck," Buster muttered. "Wak's right. I was just trying to call his bluff-"

"Don't think it was a bluff Buster," Mr. Plotz said, leaning in so that his nose was touching Buster's.

Wakko winced as the man's voice went hard. He just knew the screaming was coming.

"Those tapes are on their way over here. I just want to see what you three idiots managed to get into before they're destroyed. I already know Disney security is going to destroy their copies; this looks as bad for them as it does for us!"

Wakko jumped as the man started yelling. He shouldn't have been surprised; the man just liked to yell. It was who he was; he was always yelling.

"Somehow you three troublemakers managed to avoid getting your pictures taken - as far as we can tell - though with the way this day is going it wouldn't surprise me to see that on the front page of every paper. And right now, our attorneys are trying to negotiate with Disney's attorneys about covering the damage you three caused during your little outing-"

"What damage?" Buster insisted. "It was toon pie! We didn't-"

"Shut up. How about the studio's lost time? The employees that have to come back and clean up spills or the ones that need to be paid because they have to come back and reshoot? You think about that Buster? How about our employees that were running around looking for you three when we figured out you were missing? The attorneys and publicists that have to do extra work now to try to downplay your shenanigans?"

Wakko felt a bit of relief. Throw some money at Disney and they would go away. Wouldn't help here; hopefully Yakko would just have to pay a few dollars to cover the damages and it would be dropped.

"As for what I am going to do to you three-"

Wakko exchanged a look with Buster as they both gulped; Mr. Plotz's voice was rising again. This was going to be ugly.

"-that is a completely different story! By the time I'm done with you you'll be afraid to leave your own homes!"

Wakko looked at Buster and Plucky before nodding. Time to make a strategic retreat. He had a will to make out.

"Right. Well, you take care of that," Wakko said as he got out of his chair and slowly backed toward the door, Buster and Plucky beside him. "We've got homework to do. How about just sending us a letter in the mail letting us know how this turned out?"

He didn't think it was going to work, but figured it was worth a try.

"Get your butts back to those seats right now!"

Wakko jumped back in his seat, hearing the others do the same. Amazing how fast you could move when you had a man almost as short as you were yelling at you.

With a final stare at them as they sat in their seats, hands folded in their laps, Mr. Plotz began speaking, this time in a more normal tone of voice.

"I should banish the three of you to be the newest permanent cast members on 'Boloney and Kids' for this! I can't believe…no, with you three I can believe. And you Wakko - you know what's at stake! What would have happened if you got caught?"

With an annoyed look at Wakko, Mr. Plotz turned to Buster.

"Until I see this tape and know the extent of the damages of what you three did and know what your parents or guardians are going to do to you, I will hold off on deciding the severity of my own punishment."

_Parents? Guardians? Oh shit not this again?_

"I don't think that's necess-" Buster began to protest but was cut off by Mr. Plotz.

"Quiet! Sit there and don't say another word. We'll start with your father first."

Wakko silently exchanged a glance first with Plucky, then with Buster. They were all dead. Buster's father was probably going to be about as happy as Yakko was. Everyone remembered how delighted they had been with the last phone call from Plotz's office, and that was minor compared to this disaster.

They both watched as Plotz shot them one more glare, and proceeded to pick up the phone and began to dial, mumbling the numbers out loud as his pudgy fingers hit the buttons. Wakko cocked his ears, Buster doing the same; while the conversation was sure to be unpleasant, they'd rather know what was being said.

As Wakko listened to Plotz speak to Mr. Bunny, he quickly went over the day's events in his mind. Yakko was going to chew him a new one; one of his favorite lectures was the dangers of leaving the lot. Much like his 'thinking ahead' speech Wakko wished he had paid more attention to it but figured he was going to get it again when he got home.

He looked up in surprise as Plotz handed the phone to a slightly sick looking Buster. Watching Buster's face, he could tell the conversation wasn't going how he wanted. He began to grow alarmed when he realized that not only was Plotz trying to throw them in an early grave by phoning parents and soon to be furious older brothers about their little adventure, he was making said parents and older brothers come get them.

Buster mumbled a "Yes sir" and handed the phone back to Plotz, who disconnected the line.

Shooting a glare to Wakko, he began to dial what he recognized as his own number. Passing another look to a worried looking Buster, they both slouched down in their seats.

This was not going to be fun.

Wakko watched as Plotz drummed his fingers on the desk, scowl etched upon his face as he listened to the phone ring. Wakko crossed his fingers.

_Maybe Yakko isn't home._

"Hello?"

_Yeah, like where else would he be right?_

Damn – this was not going well. Wakko cocked his ears in the direction of the phone, holding his breath, straining to hear his brother's voice.

Mr. Plotz, closing his eyes at the sound of Yakko's voice said, "Yakko...we have a major situation on our hands-"

Yakko's voice shot back through the phone. "What? Rick Moranis asked for a job?"

Wakko felt his hopes surge when Yakko started joking. If he was in a good mood, maybe it wouldn't be quite as bad as he was thinking.

"No Yakko! Just listen for once. That would be a minor disaster compared to-"

"You green lighted a Pauly Shore movie again, didn't you?"

"Will you shut up and listen? Your wayward sibling and his trouble-making friends are the disaster!"

Wakko heard Yakko sigh before speaking.

"What? They made Ralph cry again, didn't they?" Yakko sighed again before saying, "Don't worry about it TP; I'll talk to him when he gets home. If Ralph wasn't so sensitive-"

Wakko watched as Mr. Plotz went from a slow burn into a rage. He and his friends blinked before they tried to shrink back into the chairs. Yakko had a rare gift for driving Plotz into a frenzy, and they were stuck in the office with him.

They also knew they were too exhausted from the day's activities - not to mention the fear of facing the consequences of this whole mess - to really pull anything worthwhile out of their hammerspaces to protect themselves when Plotz finally dove off the deep end. As tired and worried as he was, Wakko had serious doubts he could pull his golf ball out at the moment.

"Ralph nothing! These delinquents snuck off this lot! Then they ran to Disney Studios! Do you know what they did then? They assaulted the security chief with pies and ran wild with squirt guns and whoopee cushions and marbles! They scared the piss out of the monkey!"

Wakko didn't hear Yakko say anything at first. He really hoped he pulled the phone away from his mouth and was laughing. Yeah, he could be doing that. Yakko was no fan of the security chief. Maybe…

His hopes plummeted as Yakko's voice, much slower than normal came back though the phone.

"Scusi? Could you possibly repeat that? I think I have an abnormal amount of wax in my ear because I could have sworn I heard you say that Wakko snuck off lot. And that's just stupid because I know Wakko isn't that suicidal-"

Wakko watched, horrified as Plotz gritted his teeth, his face flamed to red and he jumped on his desk screaming, "You heard me right you imbecile! You know you heard me! Do you have any idea how this looks? This is a public relations nightmare! I don't need to put up with this sort of headache Yakko! I don't remember this being part of the guardian ad slavus!"

Wakko felt his heart stop as he heard the words he had been dreading come back out of the phone in-between Plotz's ragged breaths.

"Please put Wakko on the phone so I can speak to him."

Nothing good ever comes of Yakko speaking that slowly and quiet. Wakko watched Mr. Plotz raise an eyebrow and slowly hand him the phone. Biting the corner of his lip, he reached his hand out to take it as Yakko's voice, much angrier now, barked out of the receiver.

"Wakko! Now!"

Wakko jumped and grabbed the phone. Nervous, he held it to his head and began to speak quickly.

"Hi big brother whom I adore and admire and I know will be so understanding about this whole situation...did I mention I love you?"

Wakko waited through the pause. Yakko pausing was never a good thing – usually talking a mile a minute, whenever you managed to get him to pause, there was trouble brewing on the horizon.

"No, haven't heard that since the last time you got in trouble. But just think, you'll have plenty of time to tell me since you're going to be grounded for the foreseeable future." After a second he yelled, "What did you do? Are you nuts? Did you completely lose your mind from the last time I saw you? Did you somehow get sucked up into some sort of group insanity?"

Wakko wondered if there was anyway to salvage this.

"Well...I...uh...you see... OK, it's kind of a funny story-"

"I can't wait to hear it!" Yakko said grandly before adding, "Save it for when I pick you up from Plotz's office."

"Uh...over the phone is better - and safer - for me."

"But much less satisfying - for me."

"B...but...Look, Yakko, I can-"

"I'll be there in five minutes," Yakko snapped. "I would suggest you use that time to formulate an excuse that would somehow explain this mess. Oh, you can also use this time to think about what I'm going to do to you when I get my hands on you."

Wakko winced as Yakko slammed the phone down.

Five minutes. Would five minutes be long enough for him to cool down? Usually Yakko was calm and collected...maybe he wouldn't be as angry by the time he got here. He usually mellowed out pretty fast if you got him too riled up.

Exchanging another look with Buster, this time of pure terror, he handed the receiver back to Plotz and settled back in the chair as the angry little CEO began dialing Plucky's home. He had a feeling he probably wouldn't be able to sit for much longer anyway, might as well enjoy it while he could.

End Chapter 25 Part 1


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25 Part 2 – Of Pies and Punishments

Yakko slammed the phone down.

_Just wait till I get my hands on Wakko..._

As angry as he was, he was still in disbelief. Wakko knew how dangerous it was to leave the lot. It was unthinkable what could have happened; he could have gotten hurt, he could have been kidnapped, he could have been killed, TIS was in the neighborhood, he could have been picked up…He'd be gone, and there was nothing any of them could do about it, until Yakko was eighteen anyway, and that was almost four years off...What was wrong with him?

He had heard Plotz say something about Disney and assaulting a security guard with pies – he had a feeling it was probably Darkwing Drip they were after...but still, no excuse. And Plotz said something about not needing the hassle; he wouldn't fire Wakko would he? Could he even do that? Did he have the power?

Yakko ran a hand through his hair. He was being stupid; Wakko was part of a team – it was Warner Brothers, not Brother. Plural. And the contract said until Yakko turned eighteen, no matter what. Plotz wasn't going to fire anyone, but the man was correct for once; this sort of troublemaking wasn't to be tolerated.

Yakko didn't mind the usual troublemaking; he could handle that. Hell, he even expected it out of a nine-year-old. This was above and beyond the usual trouble.

This was dangerous; it could have been life-threatening, or way-of-life-threatening…

He was rambling.

Furious and hoping he didn't do major bodily harm to his younger sibling when he got over there, he turned, ready to leave the tower. A stray glance behind him revealed Dot. Her head was sticking up over the couch, looking worried, scared, and somewhat amused.

Worrying about one sibling and he totally forgot about the other.

"What happened?" she asked in a breathy tone, eyes bugging out of her head. "Did Wakko and his friends boost another vehicle?"

Yakko turned his head to face her, and Dot shrank back slightly. He was pretty sure his anger was being projected on his face. Trying to keep his voice neutral, after all - Dot didn't sneak off and do the stupidest thing that crossed her mind, he spoke to her.

"I wish it was that petty. Apparently our brother decided to take a sightseeing tour of the Disney lot, pranking anyone within reach. He and his little friends had a field day, pie fights, whoopee cushions-"

Dot blinked at him, stunned and amused, before her face broke out in a huge grin. "And I bet they didn't even take any pictures. Can I sleep in Wakko's bed when you kill him?"

"There will be no killing; I can only do that once. There will, however, be a load of yelling and grounding so I hope Porky's already shown you how to Fritz earmuffs."

Seeing Dot start giggling, he clenched his hands; why didn't either one of them take this seriously? Hadn't he explained this well enough?

"Just please…just continue reading the book or watch TV or something and try not to cause any trouble; I have my hands full already. I'll be back with Mr. Explorer in a few minutes."

He turned to exit the tower, and heard Dot start laughing.

"I can't believe he did that! And it figures, Molly wasn't there today! Oh I wish I could have seen..."

She started gasping for breath between her laughs, and Yakko grew annoyed with her. Didn't either of them realize how dangerous this was?

"Yeah, laugh riot," he snapped, stomping over to the couch. "Chuckle now, but think what could have happened. Do you really want to think about our brother getting hurt out there? How about if he got hit by a car; is it that funny then? What about if he got picked up by a TIS Hunter? Once that happens, to any of us, we're gone. He could have been hurt – if him and the other nuts did indeed go over there and assault Dipstick Duck like I know they probably did, they could have been hurt."

Seeing Dot's smile evaporating he continued on, but tried to calm down. Yelling at her wasn't going to get his point across. He wanted her to understand, but he hadn't had the intention of frightening her. She looked like she was about to cry.

Reaching out to run a finger down her ear he added, "You saw him today Dot – do you really think that guy would be sympathetic if Wakko slipped up and actually got caught? Wakko usually displays a smidgeon more common sense than this - God, I have to say even his cohorts usually do. This is why I'm always saying to try to think ahead a little bit, try to have some sort of plan. Please tell me you're understanding this. The thought of you - either of you - getting picked up or taken away-"

"I do," she mumbled, wiping at her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't think-"

"See that you do. Unfortunately, this is one subject I can't joke with. Just stay here OK? You're not the one in trouble anyway. I'll be back with Columbus shortly."

With a parting look at Dot, who quietly settled back on the couch, he left the tower and jumped down, not caring who saw him at the moment. Landing like a cat he rose and began to stalk across the lot. He tried to calm down, taking deep breaths to steady himself but he was getting angrier with every step as his mind raced with all the different 'what ifs', each more terrifying than the last.

He grew more irritable as he was stopped by several different toons, all wanting the scoop on exactly what the terrible trio did over at Disney. Hearing one outlandish story after another, Yakko actually blinked and stared when one stagehand told him about the rumor of them somehow causing Darkwing Duck to sexually assault the royal personage of the Princess Jasmine. There was another rumor that apparently after the alleged sexual assault, Aladdin punched Darkwing in the eye.

_Just what the hell did they do over there?_

Once he got over his anger at Wakko, he really hoped to hear the entire story – a blow by blow account, every pie and quip thrown. Hell, if he didn't kill Wakko, he really hoped the little nimrod took pictures; he'd love to have a picture of Darkwing with a black eye for his scrapbook.

He knew it had been longer than five minutes since he said he would be there. He had debated waiting a bit longer; let Wakko stew for a bit, then decided against it. Plotz might kill Wakko before he got there, and he definitely wanted first crack at him.

XXXXXXXXXX

Being dragged across a studio lot by your ear, which was being yanked on by your furious older sibling - was not only painful, it was kind of embarrassing.

Wakko was practically running to keep up with Yakko's longer stride, and at this point he was surprised his ear was still attached to his head.

Yakko was actually madder than he had even dreamed he would be. Course, that disaster of a meeting in Plotz's office hadn't really helped this situation much either.

Yakko had come storming in just as Mr. Bunny leading Buster out by his ears, a subdued Plucky following behind him, dreading the car ride with the rabbits to his own house. Wakko hadn't heard the entire conversation with his father, mostly because Plucky had been trying to get his father to calm down enough to get a word in. Wakko had heard mention of plucking him and selling his feathers to a fly fisherman to cover the costs of the damages this time and that Plucky would be cutting the front lawn using pinking shears.

Wakko had been terrified to see them leaving though; Yakko wasn't there yet and he was going to be stuck in the office with a half-mad Plotz. He had sent a thank you out to whatever deity was watching him when Yakko arrived, then asked that same deity to get rid of Yakko; he looked madder than Plotz.

Buster, true to his word told Yakko that the entire thing had been his idea and he shouldn't be mad at Wakko. Before anyone could reply Wakko had jumped in, saying that he took responsibility too, no one could blame just Buster. Even Plucky stood up and said he had an unusually big part in it.

The only good thing to come out of that was the fact that Yakko seemed to calm down - just a hair - but it did seem to do some good.

It didn't last long though.

After a long conversation about Wakko's involvement in the mess, and a bit more of Plotz yelling at him, Yakko had demanded to know how they got out of the lot in the first place. Wakko didn't say anything at first, planning on just keeping the information to himself but he didn't get the option.

Plotz had made mention of terminating Ralph for allowing them to sneak off the lot. Yakko had grabbed his ear and demanded to know how they got out without being spotted.

With a yelp Wakko had blurted out about the hole in the back fence. He hadn't been going to give the information out; one of the first times Ralph manages to do his job correctly and it's to bust him and his friends again. Yakko's grip had loosened his tongue though. And Wakko refused to even mention that there was a variety of ways they could have snuck out.

Yakko had spent a few minutes telling Plotz that Ralph would have no way to know about the hole in the fence and the poor guy catches enough crap and he should just leave him alone this time and he would take care of Wakko when they got back to the tower. Wakko rolled his eyes; Yakko always stood up for the chunkhead; felt sorry for him or something.

When Wakko tried to apologize he sort of said he didn't think the whole thing was going to blow up to be the big deal that it was becoming. Come to find out it was exactly the wrong thing to say; he realized that as soon as he saw Yakko bring his fist to his mouth. Everyone started yelling and that's when Yakko came up with the fine idea of using his ear as a leash again.

"Ow! Let go Yakko! Come on I know where the tower is!"

He knew their ears were sensitive; he didn't need to grab so hard. Wakko held onto the base of his ear, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

Yakko hadn't said a word since they had left Plotz's office. The most he had done was sputter a few sentence fragments and words at him such as "can't believe it", "grounded", "stupid things to do", "big deal" and "trouble" when they were waiting for the elevator.

Wakko wondered if he should be petrified or proud – it wasn't everyday he could make Yakko stutter.

"How good did that princess look after you doused her in pie? You took pictures right?"

_Oh great there's an audience._

Wakko looked around; a smattering of toons here and there were watching, either yelling out words of encouragement or downright glee. Wakko snorted to himself; he had a fan base.

"Ease off Yakko! Wish I had thought of it!" Someone else shouted.

"Where's the other ones? I want to shake their hands!" a voice came from the left.

"Please tell me the rumor of Darkwing getting punched is true!"

"Smack him good Yakko!"

"Shut up Sam - don't see you trying anything like that!"

"I got more sense!"

"You haven't got the grapes you mean!"

"Why didn't you pie that a-hole Mickey?"

"Tell me when you go next time – I want in!"

Wakko tried to ignore the comments. He really hadn't expected all this. Be nice if Yakko would let go of his ear.

Finally arriving at the ladder to the tower, Yakko released his ear and ordered him to get his rear end up. Wakko shot up the ladder like his tail was on fire, Yakko directly behind him.

Arriving at the top, he tried to enter the door before Yakko got to the top, if nothing else to get to the bedroom before Yakko could latch onto his ear and drag him there, but lady luck was not on his side. In fact she had abandoned him quite awhile ago. Yakko arrived at the top before he could even turn around and latched back on, dragging him along behind him.

Pulling the door open, Yakko entered their home, still dragging Wakko by his ear. Dot's head popped over the couch to watch the proceedings, her face a mixture of worry, curiosity, fear, and some amusement.

Catching Wakko's terrified eyes, she gave a small smile and a thumbs up, which he was somewhat grateful for - at least she was partly on his side. Stupid move or not, at least she was trying to find the humor in the situation.

He wasn't able to thank her for her support though; Yakko kept dragging him back to their bedroom.

Arriving there, Yakko finally let go of his ear and closed the door.

"Sit. Now!"

Wakko quickly sat on the chest that sat at the foot of their bunk beds, warily watching his brother, who was starting to pace in front of him. He knew the drill; how many times had he sat there while Yakko gave him one of his lectures?

Yakko hadn't calmed down a bit; if anything, he seemed angrier.

Taking a deep breath, Wakko decided to at least try to explain what happened.

"Yakko, I can explain…"

"I can't believe you even have an explanation for what you did."

Maybe he had calmed down a bit. He wasn't yelling…

"Of all the things to cross your mind to do! You…You could have been hurt! You could have been caught by TIS! What were you thinking? Oh, my bad, you weren't thinking! Like usual!"

On second thought, he hadn't calmed down one bit. He had been taking a breather to really fire up his rant.

Deciding that caution was probably the best decision at this point Wakko bit back the comment.

Voice lowered and wavering he replied, "I said I was sorry, we didn't-"

"Sorry? You have no idea how sorry you're going to be - how many times have I warned you about TIS? They grab you - you're gone - there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it! We're only safe if inside the gates or with a chaperone-"

"Couldn't think of one to bring," Wakko muttered.

"You want to make jokes right now with the trouble you're in?"

Yeah, probably wasn't a good idea.

"What if you were caught?"

Wakko, head lowered and eyes to the floor, mumbled, "We weren't planning on being caught you know."

"Oh, you didn't plan on getting caught. I sort of guessed that on my own. But you were, weren't you? Luckily it was just by our studio. But let's suppose for a second you were caught - say Darkwing had a good day or you or one of the other lunatics slipped, or one of those Disney toons somehow managed to grab you as you were bouncing around? I wouldn't be able to help you! The studio; Plotz, hell, Spielberg himself, no one would have been able to do anything, you know this! So answer me that - what would you have done?"

Wakko continued to look at the floor. He hadn't really thought about it, and had no idea what to say now.

"Answer me Wakko!"

Wakko shrugged.

"You better come up with a better explanation than that."

"I can't," he muttered. "Jeeze, I said I was sorry, what do you want?"

"What do I want? I want an explanation as to why I give you one very simple, basic, easy to follow rule - do not leave the lot - and you totally ignore it! I want to know why I've got one sibling that manages to never get in trouble and the other one can't avoid it. I'm still waiting for an answer as to what you would have done if you had gotten caught. And look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Scared and nervous, he didn't look up, just shrugged again and bit his lip. At this point no matter what he said it was going to be wrong. Yakko just usually wasn't this mad at something he had done and he had no idea how to even respond, mostly because Yakko was right; he had no idea what he would have done. He just didn't concentrate much on 'what if' scenarios.

"Wakko, you got one more chance before…"

Before Wakko could even try to present some lame-ass excuse for Yakko to analyze he felt Yakko grab him and lift him off the chest. Despite his protests, he felt his brother smack his rear end a few times, hard, as he continued to lecture him.

Over his own yelps of pain and surprise he heard Yakko saying again that he needed to think a little bit before he acted and this was probably the dumbest thing he ever imagined he could come up with and the usual lecture he always gave when he got in trouble. He wasn't sure how Yakko would take the news that they originally got the idea because of Darkwing harassing him and they were just going to get some revenge so he chose to keep quiet for the moment.

Yakko spun him back around and picked him up so they were touching noses.

Cowed under Yakko's glare, he wailed, "I said I'm sorry; we thought it would be funny and we-"

"All it was was dangerous and selfish. Think about this Wakko; what about if Plotz had wanted to terminate your contract? You heard him; that shmuck at Disney was demanding that you three be fired. If you were fired you know that neither me nor Dot would stay despite the contract. You could have cost yourself – hell - all of us, a job! Then we'd be back on the streets! Did you want that to happen?"

Wakko could hear his voice cracking as he answered in a small voice, "No."

Yakko hugged him to his chest while saying, "What if you misjudged something, ended up not getting a snack in time? You could have passed out! And you knew TIS was in the neighborhood today and you saw how fast the studio heard about what happened. You know Darkwing is helping to train some of those guys. He probably had made a call and had half the hunters running around looking for you three. If you had taken a minute or two longer to get on the property you could have been snatched in front of the gates."

"I know," Wakko sniffed.

"Did you think that we'd never see you again if you got picked up? What if you got hurt out there - I wouldn't be there to help you? Did you think about any of that?"

Wakko shook his head again.

Yakko put him on the top bunk, giving him a menacing look. "You need to start thinking about these things Wakko! I - I can't even talk to you right now. You stay in here; don't even think of coming out. You're grounded for the next month, capice?"

A month? Yakko had never grounded him that long. Yakko must have seen his face, because he continued.

"You screwed up big time kiddo; real big. What you did was dangerous, selfish, and stupid. You're not getting off easy on this one. Do not leave this room, understand?"

Wakko had never intended for his brother to get this angry with him, and he managed to choke out, "Yakko I'm sorry…"

Yakko gave him one more look and left the room, closing the door hard behind him.

Wakko threw himself face down on his bed, sobbing into his arms.

Brother furious with him, studio on the brink of firing them, TIS lurking outside the gates waiting for it, grounded for a month…

He knew he should have suggested that they play a hand of cards instead.

XXXXXXXXXX

_TINY, TOONEY, AND TOTALLY INSANEY AT THE DISNEY TOON STUDIO!_

_Those 'Bad Boys of WB' are at it again, despite missing a member of their group._

_Rumor mills report that a certain trio of juvenile toons from the Warner Brothers studio were seen inside the Disney Afternoon studios, sneaking in to cause their own special brand of havoc at the shooting of the new Aladdin Television Series._

_A gravelly voiced blue bunny, a grass green wide-bottomed duck and a Scouse accented black-and-white 'puppy' boy were spotted chucking pies and banana peels, apparently with more abandon than on their own respective series, at a certain masked mallard, while pieing anyone in their path as they escaped down the streets of Burbank._

_This reporter will not divulge the names of the suspected toons due to their ages and the fact that no one was able to take any photographs due to the speed of the pranks, though I'm sure all the readers can put the facts together to come to their own conclusions. I arrived after a climatic pie fight in the middle of the Disney lobby, but was able to interview several witnesses and victims of the trio's shenanigans before Disney's legal team advised me that no additional interviews would be forthcoming and I should leave the premises._

_"Little hoodlums, that's all they are, they should be charged with gross toon misconduct," chief of security Darkwing Duck was quoted as saying. While he wiped Banana Crème off his abnormally large beak he continued with saying, "Especially that ink-blot kid and the malcontent mallard - just petty criminals. Look at my cape – this will never come out!"_

_"Highly unprofessional," sniffed Her Royal Highness, the Princess Jasmine, hair still coated in Blueberry Pie as she reclined in her dressing room. "But they are just little boys and Warner Brother's toons – I suppose we can't really expect too much."_

_"I jumped in to help my father and caught the dog, but his friends rescued him - that mean duck pied me! Me! Not keen gear at all - just wait until I see him at the next function!" exclaimed Gosalyn Mallard, who had been visiting the set today for the first time since her father's own series was cancelled and witnessed the stunning pie slinging display in the lobby. "I'll return the favor, he can count on that."_

_"Heyuck, Heyuck, they shouldn't have done it, but boys will be boys," was the statement from Goofy, who himself was the victim of a well thrown banana peel._

_"All those kids did was show me exactly what Darkwing Duck has on his mind – he wants to get dangerous all right – with my girl!" Yelled an agitated Aladdin, whose first week of shooting on his new series was delayed by all the mischief. "If he's smart he'll stay far away from my fiancée or his eye won't be the only thing as purple as his cape."_

_"Scree-scree- awaddin! Awwwww-scree..." This statement was from Abu the monkey, long-time companion of Aladdin. Translated by Iago the parrot, another co-star on the new series, Abu apparently said "Those kids and their squirt guns – they made the director think I peed on Aladdin! I was mortified."_

Taking a sip of his soda, he still couldn't believe three children sneaking in and starting a pie fight was one of the lead stories in 'The Story Boarder'; must be a slow news day. 'The Story Boarder' was ToonTown's second oldest paper and broke any stories that developed after 'The Animator' went to morning print.

He was still a little impressed that they managed to cause this sort of drama. If this didn't cement their image as 'The Bad Boys of WB', nothing would.

He had grabbed the paper when he had gone out for dinner. Not in the mood to cook, he had taken Dot to get burgers and shakes from the roach coach that ambled around the lot at all hours of the day and night.

Passing the paper box, he overheard some toon talking to Slappy about the whole mess. The ever volatile squirrel had replied that it was in the paper; if he wanted to know about it, he should buy one of the damn things and leave her alone. She had then given a thumbs up to Yakko and congratulated him on his brother's exploits before wandering away, promising to call later.

After hearing about all this, he simply had to pay the fifty-cents to read about it. He was already much calmer than before, though still angry at his brother for the scare he had put him through. When he calmed down completely, he planed on getting every shred of detail out of him.

He had gone into the bedroom before he left to see what Wakko wanted for dinner; no matter how pissed he was at him he would never deny him food. His brother had dozed off to sleep though, tear streaks staining the white fur of his face. He had decided to let him sleep; he could make him a sandwich when he woke up.

Reading on, he could see why he would be exhausted; after a half-day's worth of shoots, he, the blue terror and the green pier of girls had really outdid themselves. The article estimated that approximately eighteen pies were thrown, seven bottles of seltzer water used, one banana peel chucked behind the escaping boys, not to mention a few squirt guns and a whoopee cushion, all of which had been held as evidence by the 'moronic masked mallard', and all of which disappeared. Definitely toon created, and if they only lasted a half-hour at most, a child toon at that. If Wakko had created a third of that, which he was almost positive he did, then he had every right to be worn out.

Yakko had to laugh but was a bit disappointed that the paper had no pictures. For a major television studio with tons of cameras, and packed with tourists, everyone was suspiciously short of photographs, though he imagined Disney was just as anxious as his own studio to cover up the episode.

The thing he was most angry about now was the fact that Plotz had received the tapes and reviewed them. They must have been great because Plotz had grudgingly said he was actually impressed with the trio, but he would not let Yakko watch them, which just showed how much of a jerk Plotz could be. Yakko had half a mind to break in the man's office one night and find the things.

He was holding off on that idea. Plotz said Disney wanted a few hundred dollars from each child for the lost time and assurances that this would never happen again.

Yakko had been getting ready to go to the bank to get Plotz the money when the CEO stopped him. He had another idea, but he wanted to discuss it with all three children's parents or guardians first. Now Yakko was going to have to sit in a meeting with Plucky's parents and Buster's father on Tuesday. He was curious; he wanted to know now.

Plotz wouldn't tell him though, and hung up the phone before Yakko could embarrass himself and beg the man to let him watch the tapes.

Oh how he hoped Wakko took pictures – especially one of Darkwing coated in pie or with a large shiner courtesy of the well-built Aladdin. Or one of Jasmine slapping Darkwing which would have the benefit of being hilarious and hot all in one photograph.

With that thinking, he would rather just have the picture of Jasmine.

The phone had rung several times; Katie Ka-Boom had already called wanting full details. Bugs and Slappy had both called, wanting to know what parts were true, what parts weren't, and what parts were just plain missing from the article.

Max had called demanding to speak to Wakko. When he was informed by Yakko that Wakko wouldn't be speaking to anyone for awhile, the billionaire brat had calmed a bit. He was apparently worried that Wakko had got picked up.  
Informed that Wakko was safe at home; all three of the delinquents were, Max surprised him by asking that he please pass along a message for him.

_He was glad Wakko was OK._

_He was pissed Wakko and the other fools pulled this sort of prank on the very day Max himself was not at the lot to be involved._

_They should all know that he was going to put his five hundred dollar shoes up their ten-cent asses on Monday._

With that Max said he had to go call and leave 'a similar but not exactly using those same words' in a message for both Buster and Plucky. Before Yakko could say anything about his language or the message, before he even had time to laugh Max had barked a quick good-bye and had hung up the phone in his astonished ear.

Even Kit had called, wanting to discuss the whole episode and requesting any and all facts or photographs that managed to make themselves known.

As he smiled and turned the page, he heard a quiet noise and cocked one ear to listen; one of the bedroom doors was opening. Dot was asleep; he had put her to bed almost forty minutes ago according to the kitchen clock.

It must be the condemned than.

Yakko sighed and folded up the paper, placing it on the table next to him. No matter what, he was keeping this issue. It was going in the family scrapbook. Not that he was going to inform Wakko of that fact; not for awhile yet. Might give him ideas that Yakko was impressed…even if he was.

But first, he had to talk to the little menace; his kid brother probably thought he hated him by now. He had been harsh with him, probably too harsh thinking back on it. He was not that angry often, and while he could have a sharp tongue, he rarely turned its full potential on either of his siblings.

He was glad Wakko had finally woken up though; he really needed to eat something, and Yakko would feel a bit better if he checked his blink himself. Wakko obviously had been checking it throughout the day if he managed to do everything he had done and not had any issues with his 'problem', which pleased Yakko. It showed some growing maturity and responsibility - with that anyway.

He took another sip of his soda as he saw his brother timidly step into the kitchen. Meeting his eyes, Wakko quickly looked down and silently walked past him, grabbing a glass out of the sink. Rummaging through the refrigerator, he poured himself a glass of milk. Placing the carton back, Yakko watched him frown and begin to look for something else.

Yakko rolled his eyes, knowing what he was looking for.

"Chocolate syrup's in the upper cabinet."

Wakko mumbled thanks and reached up to the cabinet, standing on his toes. Yakko stood up and grabbed it for him, than sat back down in the chair, watching him. Finally, he sighed.

"Wakko, come here."

Wakko gave a bit of a frown, but hesitantly stepped toward him.

Moving the chair next to him out with his foot, Yakko pointed at it and ordered, "Park it."

Swallowing, Wakko sat, still holding his milk and fidgeting.

"OK, Wak," he sighed and tried not to laugh, thinking about the article. "I - just - I ...OK, I'll bite. What were you thinking today?"

Wakko looked hesitant to speak, not that Yakko could blame him too much; he had been pretty hard on him.

"Look kiddo, I'm a lot calmer now-"

Wakko looked up at him and asked, "You're not mad anymore?"

Yakko slightly narrowed his eyes. "I'm still plenty mad at what you did. You have no idea the risk you put yourself in; all of us really." He sighed, and then continued. "However, I concede that perhaps I was a bit hasty, so just tell me how you three came up with this harebrained idea."

Wakko looked at him, sighed, and began.

"Well..." He paused, and then began to speak. "That guy - you heard what he said to us Yakko! He attacked Dot and she's just a little girl and didn't do anything anyway. And you, he said you were a horrible guardian and he hoped we ended up on the streets again and we were just petty criminals…"

Yakko interrupted, "We are not petty criminals. We took enough we're actually felons if the idiot wants to get technical. Which he shouldn't; if he's a crime fighter and can't tell the difference-"

Yakko broke off in surprise when he looked at Wakko; he actually looked angry.

"You don't get it!" Wakko shook his head and drank some of his milk. "Where does he get off talking to us like that? We gave the wallet back which is where this all started and he doesn't know what we did or didn't do, not much anyway - he should have just minded his own business. And saying you're a rotten guardian – you're the best guardian we could have asked for..." Wakko sighed again, looking unhappy and frustrated. "I don't know...Buster and Plucky overheard everything and we decided to go prank him. Especially after that comment about hoping we end up penniless and alone which was a jerk off thing to say even from him."

Yakko sighed; at some point he should have figured things would come to a head with the over-zealous crime fighter. Some of it was his fault; the duck really did keep the fight going. For an adult the guy could act really childish.

Some of it was his own too; he knew he should have tried to restrain himself, not fight with the guy so much and not allow Wakko and Dot to keep antagonizing him.

He probably should try to make piece with the duck, write a letter of apology or something. This latest bit of drama was not going to help the situation any and he doubted the duck would be big enough to offer an apology for any of the hatred that had grown between them over the year plus they had known each other.

Yakko snorted; he was almost fourteen and he was having to be the voice of reason when dealing with an adult.

He'd think more about that later. Right now he had a miserable looking sibling to deal with.

"Look, Wak, I understand how angry you are, I really do. You think Dripwings nasty comments don't bother me?"

Yakko inwardly was thinking; his comments didn't bother him, it was what the guy was and potentially what he could do that bothered him. He decided to not say anything about that though; it could encourage his brother to try something else, and next time he might not be as lucky.

_How to phrase…_

"But you can't go running all over Burbank to pie him. Like I said before, it's too dangerous. A hilarious idea; I won't argue with that, but dangerous. Those TIS guys were around you know." Yakko held his hand up as Wakko went to interrupt. "And yes, I know you weren't caught - but you could have been. I've got ten rules, and number one is 'Don't Leave The Lot' - for any reason. I don't make up rules for the hell of it Wakko; they're there for a reason."

Wakko was still looking unhappy, but he nodded, still looking at the floor.

"Look at me Wak." He waited until Wakko raised his eyes to look at him again, and continued. "What Dinkwing said about me; I'm flattered that you decided to go risk your life to go defend my honor, really, but trust me, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself. That level of loyalty is commendable but unnecessary."

"And as far as his comment about us being criminals - we did what we needed to do to survive, we did it only when necessary, and we've been paying it back, right?"

Wakko nodded.

"So I, personally, don't care what he says. You shouldn't either; come on, if your big brother brushes off his comments, you can too, right? We're Warners; we're better than that."

Wakko, nodded, looking slightly happier.

Trying to lighten the mood, Yakko decided to continue. He had already decided to lighten up on the grounding. It still stood, but he would go from a month to two weeks which should be long enough to teach the little troublemaker his lesson.

Plus, with him cutting it in half Wakko would probably be happy enough that he'd behave himself and come off all the information that Yakko was dieing to hear.

If he had pictures Yakko thought he might even be willing to cut it by seventy-five percent and knock it back to a week.

Maybe.

Well, probably not, but he'd still like to see them.

"Now I, Judge Yakko, in my infinite mercy, am going to offer you a plea bargain. Since I could tell before you were sorry, and I was just too angry to really think clearly, I am willing to consider a sentence reduction - punishment time cut down from a month to two weeks."

Wakko's face was a mix of amusement, relief, and curiosity as he asked, "In exchange for what?"

"Well, for starters, you're doing every chore I can think of around here for that two weeks. Second; no television, phone, no trips around the lot. You can leave your room for your tutoring, shoots, meals, and whatever mind-numbingly boring task I can find." He noticed Wakko's pout, and asked, "What did you think - I was going to reduce it to time served? Be happy I'm willing to cut it in half."

Wakko still had a pout on his face, but nodded.

Yakko continued, standing and picking up Wakko, he hugged him to his chest.

"Third, please, please, please don't ever do anything that dangerous and make me worry like this again, OK?"

Wakko retuned his hug and said, "Deal."

Yakko put him back in the chair, and sat down again. "Fourth," he said, and saw Wakko stiffen. He smirked, "What did you do? I want every detail. Did you take any pictures?"

Wakko looked surprised then grinned before he said "No, sorry, no pictures."

Yakko threw his head back in frustration.

_Damn. Too bad._

"OK, fine. Full details then." He started chuckling. "So you seriously smushed a pie into Dipwing's face, huh?"

Wakko grinned and nodded. "A couple of times. Used marbles and a banana peel too."

Good to see he's been paying attention to Foghorn anyway.

Yakko couldn't help it, he started laughing. "Oh wow, classic toon theory. Oh why couldn't I have seen this - my brother in action, and I miss it."

Wakko gave him a look. "Well, we could always go back and redo the whole thing and take pictures this time."

Yakko stiffened slightly. "Eeeeeeeh...don't push your luck kiddo."

Wakko was still grinning at him. "We could bring you along this time."

Yakko responded before thinking.

"Should I use cherry or apple pie?"

XXXXXXXXXX

August 6, 1994

Slouching the mop in the water, he pulled it out and set the end on the floor. Pausing to wipe his forehead, he checked his watch and groaned; it was only nine-forty-six in the morning. If there was a hell, this was it. He had done more before ten in the morning than he usually did all week.

With a sigh, he began to mop his section of the floor again. He had never seen a floor this big; he didn't know soundstages could be this big. He looked up and almost grinned at Buster who was hard at work mopping his section. Wakko had to hand it to him; the rabbit was a regular go-getter. He was scrubbing so hard his ears were flopping all over the place.

Looking to his left, Wakko saw Plucky was trying to half-ass the entire thing, only making a couple swipes at the floor before leaning on the wall. Plucky looked up, saw Wakko and grinned at him before leaning back and closing his eyes.

Noticing Buster looking at him, Wakko raised an eyebrow.

"Time?" Buster asked.

"Nine-forty-six," Wakko answered. "Four minutes from the last time you asked."

"Yeah, yeah, OK. I can't believe they're making us do this," he grumbled.

Buster wasn't exactly an early riser and getting out of bed early on a Saturday to scrub down a soundstage that hadn't been used in ten years was putting him in an unusually foul mood.

Wakko wasn't too happy with it either. He supposed it was marginally better than being at home. He was in for a miserable weekend; Yakko might have lightened up a bit and was no longer royally ticked off at him, but that didn't mean he was cutting him too much slack.

When Wakko had found out that Dot was going to be gone all weekend his blood had run cold. Without Dot there to distract Yakko, his attention could be focused solely on him. He had pleaded to go visit the old people too - didn't sound fun but it was preferable to Yakko breathing down his neck - but was told no.

Unfortunately his big mouth had once again gotten him a whole new mess of work. Yakko said if he was so eager to volunteer his time helping the elderly, he was now going to go with him the next two Sundays so they could paint Goose's house with Bugs.

Faboo.

Least it was Yakko's birthday this weekend. Sure, it sucked being grounded on anyone's birthday but Yakko wasn't mad enough at him to deny him participating in the celebration when they got back to the tower tomorrow night. He was just happy that he had already gone out shopping and got Yakko's gift before this latest bit of mischeif. And Foghorn was still willing to go shopping for the birthday cake again. At least the big chicken had a sense of humor about the whole thing even if he was annoyed with Wakko's stunt.

Upon seeing Wakko the following Monday he had exclaimed, 'Glad you been paying attention to something I say boy! Made me proud! Coulda been dangerous, I say coulda been dangerous though boy! You use that there fuzzy head 'o yours for anything besides a place to let those big floppy ears sprout out of?'

"You? I've got to do this and whatever Yakko manages to pull out when I get home," Wakko groused. "I've scrubbed the bathroom three times this week not to mention helping with the dishes every night, taking out the garbage and polishing everything in sight. Hell, I didn't even know eggs needed to be polished!"

"Yeah, boo-hoo, poor you," Plucky said, still leaning on the wall and taking a half-hearted stab at mopping. "I wish I only had to deal with some polishing. God, I've had to listen to my parents bitch all week and be their slave. And don't forget Inksplot, we've got a yard I can be sent to take care of too; at least you don't have that to deal with. God, Monty barely talked to me for the first part of the week."

"He's barely talked to any of us," Wakko pointed out.

He was over it now, but the guy had been pissed for the first half of the week. Wakko was sort of happy he was grounded so he didn't have to spend too much time around him other than at lunch.

He still sat with them at lunch and he was talking now but seemed slightly annoyed with them. When he had seen Wakko Monday he had almost malleted him while yelling about pulling dumb shit that would get one of his best friends hauled away. Oh, and he was pissed they decided to pull the prank of the century when he had been home. He said they'd damn well better include him in the next one or he'd strangle all of them.

On the positive side he had malleted Plucky much to Wakko and Buster's amusement, though that had a lot to do with the fact that it had originally been his idea and he was now confined to the house so Max couldn't hang out with him. Not that it mattered; Max just had his chauffer drive him over there and he snuck in Plucky's bedroom window.

The girls hadn't been much better at first, though their natural curiosity got the better of them and by lunch Tuesday they had practically been begging for details and blow-by-blow accounts of the entire affair.

And Elmyra kept hugging him because of what 'could have happened to her snuggly-wuggly'. While he had continued to protest that he wasn't her 'snuggly-wuggly', the hugging hadn't been too bad. He'd like it more if she did it in more private situations so the others wouldn't laugh and maybe not quite so tight.

"I think he's over it now," Plucky said. "Though it took him longer than I thought. What time are we stuck here til?"

"Three," Buster answered without looking up.

Wakko looked up in surprise as Plucky began to sing, even dancing with his mop.

"We're waiting for the clock to strike three! When it's three o'clock we'll be free! Then it's adiós-"

"Shut the hell up mallard before you eat this mop!" Buster snapped. "Every time I hear that damn song it gets stuck in my head." After glaring at Plucky for a few seconds he said, "Shit, now it's there; thanks moron. Anyway, at noon we can stop for lunch, then we're here until then. Unless we get it done sooner, in which case we get to start on the abandoned warehouses."

Wakko looked up and almost groaned again; this particular soundstage was huge. Sooner than three? He had a feeling they were going to be stuck here until doomsday cleaning this thing.

"Why the hell do we have to clean them?" Plucky grumbled. "They haven't been used in years, they have no plans to use them and they're probably just as filthy as this place is."

"I think that's the point dipshit duck," Wakko said, going back to mopping.

No point in wasting time. The studio said they had to do it, they couldn't get out of it. This soundstage and three warehouses; whether it took them one day or ten weeks, until they were cleaned they could expect to spend every Saturday morning and afternoon there doing it.

"You'd think they would've just forked over the money," Buster complained, finally stopping to lean on his mop. "It's not like it was that much."

"True. But Yakko almost jumped at the chance to have me do this instead - said something about building character or some nonsense." Wakko leaned on his mop himself and waved his hand dismissively. "Plus he didn't have to fork over the five hundred bucks some Disney executive said we owed him."

"This is stupid!" Plucky yelled, throwing down his mop, agitated. "Disney only wanted five hundred bucks from each of us and the promise we wouldn't ever come on their lot again! I know my family's got five hundred bucks and I can tell you right now I freely give my promise that I'm not setting foot on their lot. I don't even want to walk by their lot! I'm not even going to watch anything they-"

"Shut up and mop," Wakko grumbled as he splashed his mop back in the bucket. "We don't want Ralph coming by and seeing us not doing this garbage - who knows what they'll come up with next."

Plucky muttered something about not being Hampton and picked up his mop again.

"Just mop," Buster ordered. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out of here."

"I don't want to do this!" Plucky whined. "I wonder what they would do if we refused. I mean, we're just little kids-"

"Who managed to bring an entire studio to its knees," Wakko added. He was still somewhat proud of that, despite all the trouble they got in for it.

"-and normally a cleanup of this magnitude would have a crew of cleaners," Plucky finished, totally ignoring the fact that Wakko had said anything.

Wakko shrugged. He pulled off his glove; he was getting a blister.

"They'd probably give us something else to do," he said. "Plotz had a whole list of stuff for us to do to pay the studio back since they footed the bill."

Plucky looked thoughtful. "Wonder what though?"

"Could it be worse than this?" Wakko thought about it - this was hot hard work. Maybe there was something they could do in an air-conditioned building.

"I heard a suggestion of picking up the loose trash in the lot," Plucky said.

"Scrubbing out all the public bathrooms on the lot," Wakko added.

He'd rather scrub the soundstage personally. The bathrooms the tourists used got nasty. The bathroom they created on the 'Potty Emergency' episode looked sterile compared to some of the bathrooms he had seen. The cleaning crew was kept busy all day cleaning those things.

"Washing dishes in the cafeteria," Plucky said. "That might not be as bad."

"Shut up you two," Buster said. "I already know what they were originally planning on doing to us and trust me, this is a breeze compared to that. Mop."

"Oh, do you genius?" Plucky asked, stomping over to Buster and pointing his finger in the smirking rabbit's chest. "So what was our original and oh-so-much-worse duty going to be?"

"Spots on 'Baloney and Kids' for the rest of the season," Buster smirked, leaning on the handle of his mop. "And this time, no mayhem allowed and just the three of us. By ourselves. Not the rest of our respective casts and none of the normal cast for that nightmare of a show. Just us…do you get it now?"

"They'd do that?" Wakko breathed.

_No Yakko and Dot? None of the usual drones on that show to distract the big orange dinosaur?_

"Be real happy you two are my friends," Buster added. "Since you are I'll let you get back to work instead of braining the both of you with my mop. If you'll remember I said the entire thing was a bad idea." Rolling his eyes he added, "It's hard being the smart one."

Wakko stared at Buster who regarded him with a smirk that clearly said 'I told you so'. He cut his eyes to Plucky who was staring at Buster with a look of complete horror on his face, bill dropped open in shock.

After they all stared at each other for several seconds before they swallowed and as one began to mop again.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Would you like more pizza sweetie?"

Dot nodded as Ms. Cunningham put another slice on her plate, shooting her a smile as she did so.

"And Dot, maybe you can come over to my house again next weekend? How about that? Maybe we can go skating? Do you know you have a stain on your shirt? Mommy would make me wear that as a play shirt. Hey, I know what we can do! We can try to visit Skippy! I like him because he's really nice! You're lucky you get to work with him because he doesn't even mind playing house with us!"

Dot rolled her eyes at that one. Skippy didn't mind, but Wakko and his goofy friends had laughed at that. Even Yakko had started snickering when he heard it, but at least he was polite enough to try to hide his laughter by going into another room.

Molly clapped her hands excitedly, dropping her pizza back on her plate before saying, "Or over to Webby's! She's got a really nice house too and-"

Dot nodded, smiling at Molly as she continued to happily chat about whatever came to her mind, hardly pausing to chew a bite of pizza before chattering again.

This was more fun than she had even imagined; no wonder Wakko went away with his friends every weekend. Or every weekend he or the blue-eared terror weren't in trouble.

She snickered quietly to herself; Wakko was in big trouble this time. And while Yakko did have a few points about what if Wakko had got hurt or caught, she couldn't help it. The whole thing was funny. The entire idea of the terrible trio sneaking off with the whole intention of throwing a pie in Darkwing's face and what it had blown up into was mind-boggling. She wished it had been played on T.V.

Even quite a few of the Disney toons thought it was hilarious after the fact. Not all of them; Dot had heard that Darkwing Duck was still furious about the whole thing and Gosalyn was swearing on taking out revenge on all of them but apparently the two stars whose filming was interrupted weren't that mad. Sure, they were annoyed, but Warner Brothers studios had issued an apology to the couple, also making Buster, Wakko and Plucky write apologies to them. They had accepted the apology; Darkwing had not.

Yakko had said at some point he would also write a letter to Darkwing, but Dot hadn't heard any more about that. She hoped she wouldn't have to write one too; she hadn't done anything. She had to admit though, she wish she had. She never would though; everyone said she was too good and well behaved to pull a stunt like that. No, she didn't have the guts to deliberately try to get in trouble, but sometimes, every once in a while, she wished she did.

She had to give Wakko credit; when he saw what he perceived as some injustice he certainly took matters into his own hands. Yes it was a stupid thing to do and it would kill her if anything had happened to him; but it hadn't thankfully. And he had gone to do it because Darkwing had insulted them.

It was a mess though; Plotz and some of the people who handled publicity and public relations for the studio had been running mad about the whole thing, trying to cover it up but that hadn't worked out too well. For two days after it happened it had been mentioned in 'The Animator' and 'The StoryBoarder', along with a small segment on The Leica Reel, the show in ToonTown that gave all the latest happenings in the toon community, specifically anything having to do with entertainment.

Once again her idiot brother and his idiot friends were on there; they were the lead story on the weekend edition. Neither studio would comment on the whole episode, but a few tourists and visitors to the studio who had actually witnessed the incident had given interviews.

Dot scowled to herself as she bit into her slice of pizza; they had been on there a few times now. When they crashed the golf cart into the Batmobile, when they were at the mall, even one time when they were at the arcade. What was so interesting about that?

Yakko wouldn't let Wakko watch it since he was grounded but she knew Yakko had taped it. She was positive that Yakko would let him watch it once he was out of trouble. Despite how mad Yakko had been, after he cooled down he had actually thought parts of it were hilarious.

But it was just the fact that he was on there that had her a bit jealous. What was the sense in behaving all the time if you never got recognition for it?

No, she didn't want to be in trouble all the time and she sure didn't want Yakko mad at her, especially for something stupid. It would be nice though if Hollywood and the entertainment community at large would give some credit to the ones that actually managed to behave themselves. She wondered why 'being bad' was so much more interesting than trying to stay out of trouble.

She, Molly and Webby and a few friends of Molly's that she had met at the stable had gone to the nursing home this afternoon to visit with the elderly. She had fun; most of the old people were really interesting and seemed surprised and grateful that so many young people wanted to come by and visit with them. Yakko had been right; a few of the older people seemed mean and didn't want to talk or worse wanted to yell at them.

Ms. Cunningham and a few other adults were there supervising the entire affair. Other than hustling her and Molly off from an old man in a wheelchair that had wanted them to sit in his lap so they could talk about 'whatever popped up', the adults had mostly stayed back and chatted themselves.

She had met Ms. Cunningham's friend, Mrs. Shire, who was a lot sicker than Goose. But the woman had seemed happy that Dot was willing to sit and talk to her for awhile; she even had fed her applesauce while they talked. Ms. Cunningham had apparently purchased her agency from this lady a few years ago.

Molly and Webby, with Dot's urging had sung 'The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy' for Mrs. Shire and some of the other older ladies after someone found them the words for it. They had even tried to dance, despite the fact that none of them really knew the rhythm of the dance. For a spur of the moment thing though, Dot thought they did really well and everyone had clapped and cheered and told them how wonderful they did.

Mrs. Shire had told them about what it was like back then, with the rationing and victory gardens and air raids and not even being able to wear nylons. She had said she used to draw lines up the back of her legs so it would look like she was wearing them.

If nothing else it made some of the stuff in the short they had done, 'Of Course You Know This Means Warners' make a bit more sense. Of course Yakko had tried to tell her and Wakko what some of the stuff meant, but with Wakko constantly making jokes and her laughing at whatever he said Yakko had given up.

Mrs. Shire had said that was actually her favorite of the shows they had done and Dot had blushed. She personally had hated that one; she didn't like the dress she had to wear. Not only was it hot and itchy, it was pink and had huge shoulder pads which made her look like a football player.

She snickered at the memory briefly; she actually had to help both her brothers with the jitterbug dance since neither of them had exactly taken it seriously when they were rehearsing. If she hadn't helped them they both would have embarrassed themselves by tripping and stumbling over their own feet.

And of course Yakko had liked one part of it; he said he totally enjoyed the section where he got to collect the nylons. They ended up doing a lot of takes of that short section, and she really didn't think they wouldn't have needed to if Yakko had bothered paying attention to what was going on and hadn't kept flubbing his lines. She had a suspicion that he did it on purpose. Ms. Cunningham said something once about him and Kit being 'girl crazy'.

Dot wished Yakko had been at the home with her; he loved to talk to older people about that sort of stuff. He was always listening to Bugs or Slappy talk about 'the good old days'.

She took another bite of her pizza as she continued to think and Molly continued to chatter. What they were doing, something constructive that actually helped people, made them happy, she would think that would be more important than three dumb boys going to pie a duck.

Apparently not. She was almost tempted to go pie Mickey Mouse herself in order to get her and her friends some air time. Maybe then she and Molly would get to do an ad then. Despite all the trouble the terrible trio caused, it only made them more popular. The company that owned the skating rink had bent over backwards to get them - along with that butt hole Max - and they were officially going to do some sort of advertisement for them.

She scowled; she wasn't mad Wakko got to do something else that she would love to do. She was happy for him; the boys had wanted to actually work together. The small cameos they occasionally did on each other's shows didn't count. So now they could and she certainly didn't begrudge him that. She was just more upset that no matter what, she and Molly would probably never get to even do cameo's on each other's shows, not only because of the different studios, but also because 'TaleSpin' had been cancelled.

Molly was officially out of a job. She didn't seem to mind; she had barely mentioned it actually. She seemed almost happy because she could concentrate more on riding; she was going to be able to take lessons twice a week now, along with starting ballet in between her regular tutoring.

Kit also didn't seem too perturbed, but he was weird. He had only said he was tired of playing the cute cuddly cub. Dot didn't think he was the cute cuddly cub anymore; he was slightly taller than Yakko now. His voice was getting really funny; he'd sound fine one minute then the next it would get all high and squeaky.

Her and Molly had laughed at him which annoyed him so much he stayed hidden in his bedroom half the weekend. Ms. Cunningham had told them to hush; apparently it happened to all boys at some point; she said his voice was cracking.

Dot didn't know about cracking but it was really funny. And they had stopped laughing at him when Ms. Cunningham was around. It didn't stop them when she wasn't there though.

Dot looked around the pizzeria they were currently sitting in as Molly continued to chat, this time about wanting a new canopy for her bed. After a weekend of staying at Molly's house watching movies and playing with each other's hair, going to their riding lessons, shopping, making small goodies bags for the old people, and then going to visit, it was time to return home.

It was Yakko's birthday weekend too, so Ms. Cunningham had taken her and Molly shopping for him to get him a present, even though Yakko had said the fact that she didn't give him a headache from daily mischief was enough of a present for him.

But while she was out getting him a present she had spied something she thought Wakko would like. He was grounded from pretty much anything he actually enjoyed doing with the exception of playing his instruments. She had heard the melancholy tunes from his violin coming from his room when he wasn't out of it cleaning or doing some other chore. This meant Wakko was miserable and bored, and a miserable and bored Wakko was never a good thing to have around long.

But she had found a simple hand-held video game for 'Donkey Kong' at the toy store. It had cost her half her savings and it was an older game but she thought he would still like it. It would help alleviate a bit of his boredom.

She was quite pleased with herself about it. Yes, she was rewarding his bad behavior and was doing something that she was positive that Yakko wouldn't approve of. But it was sitting safe in her hammerspace, just waiting to be given to her brother who had pretty much risked his entire life - all of theirs really - to play a prank and defend her honor because some stupid duck laughed at the stains on her favorite shirt. She wished Yakko would stop trying to throw it away; it was getting annoying hauling it out of the trashcan.

Who said she couldn't be a bit naughty every now and then?

End Chapter 25 Part 2


	27. Chapter 27

**Authors Note:** This has been irritating me for awhile now, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. I'm glad everyone's enjoying the story…really…it just warms the cockles of my heart. I sleep well at night knowing everyone is anxiously awaiting the next update.

That being said please keep your 'suggestions' and 'requests' to yourself. I have everything pretty much planned and never once have I asked for a 'suggestion' or a 'request' for plots, situations, characters, etc. I will never ask for a 'suggestion' or ask if anyone has a 'request' . In the rare instance that I would need a 'suggestion' I would only ask three people and they know who they are. Just to make sure there will be no confusion later let me put it to you this way: If you do not know my real name, my address and/or possess my phone number, you are not one of the three people and therefore your 'suggestions' are unwelcome.

This is not to say you can't leave a bad review or give me advice on things such as bad spelling, grammar mistakes or if I simply just got a fact wrong. If you don't like the story for whatever reason that's fine too. I could really care less; I write this to entertain myself and three friends. Everyone else who has loved it is simply icing on the cake for me; I like getting the reviews telling me that someone likes the story. It lets me know that I am indeed doing it right.

As I said, I'm glad so many people like it. So many people do like it in fact that I must be doing something right, so again, your suggestions are not wanted. I feel I have to repeat this several times for it to sink in because the individuals guilty of it have ignored my polite requests to cease-and-desist.

I have a pretty thorough knowledge of animation history (as I should since I'm majoring in animation). Therefore you do not need to go into detail about who the characters are on a show. I am well acquainted with 'Histeria', 'Goof Troop' and most of the other shows from the Nineties, and I actually do research before I write so again, no need to go on long-winded diatribes about 'Miss Information' or 'Pistol'; I am quite familiar with them.

For the ones that complain about the profanity and mentions of sex…yeah…my story…get over it. No one's making you read this; this is how I see the characters and how I wish to write them. They are growing up; be warned it is probably not going to get better. There's a whole great big site here; if you don't like the way I'm portraying a character you can go find another story to read with less profanity.

Also; I'm the author. I'm pretty sure I remember most of what I write despite the stories length. If in fact I do miss something, both 'LittleTiger488' and 'DancesWithCorpses' read the chapters before their posted for content and spelling/grammatical errors and I have the utmost faith in their ability to find these errors. Therefore in your reviews there is no need to repeat back everything that happened in the chapter. Trust me I spend enough time writing it to remember pretty much everything; no need to regurgitate every single fact back to me.

I also have a real life outside of writing this story. I write and update when I can. I have no plans to abandon the story, but between work, school, breaking an ankle and an eight-hundred mile move it simply was put on the back burner for awhile. I am not trying to be difficult or a 'bitch', but the countless requests, suggestions and demands that 'I post the next chapter now' are getting tiresome.

So in closing, give me a positive review, give me a negative one, hell, give me the finger if you feel so inclined, but I will say this for the last time, please do not give me your 'requests' or 'suggestions' on what you would like to see happen, what character from a cartoon you would like to see appear, what you think Yakko/Slacko/Wakko/whoever should do when and where and why. I don't really care to hear your suggestions in my review section OR in a private message.

For those of you who are now all thoroughly butt-hurt, go leave a nasty message in my review section and then please try not to let the door hit you on the way out. For those of you who managed to get through the incredibly long authors note without getting pissed off, here's the chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 26 - _Numb_

August 19, 1994

"Told ya Bugs. Now, I'm only fourteen-"

"Who's not gonna see fifteen-"

"-but I know when the speed limit says twenty-five, it doesn't mean to flip the numbers and go fifty-two…tsk tsk in a construction zone too-"

"Oh yeah Yakko; wanna show me your license?" Bugs drawled. Shooting Yakko a withering glare, Bugs turned and flipped the switch to roll down the window as the patrol officer leaned into the window of the Mercedes, a pad of bright yellow tickets in his hand.

"License and registration."

"Sure doc."

The Cop finally seemed to focus in on who just spoke because he started violently, his head making a loud thwacking sound on the frame of the window as he pointed and his sunglasses slipped down his nose.

"Hey! Hey I know you! You're Bugs Bunny!"

"Right in one doc."

"Man, I grew up watching you! Wow, the guys told me I'd see some big stars eventually, but I never imagined it would be in my first month out here and it would be you Mr. Bunny!"

Yakko watched in amusement as Bugs shot him one more look before turning back to the now gushing Police Officer, who had managed to stop fawning over Bugs long enough to offer a 'hi kiddo!' to him as well. The Cop had pulled off his sunglasses, showing his young happy face as he animatedly recounted his favorite moments from Bugs' long career.

Yakko shared a smirk with Bugs as the man switched gears and began talking about how excited he was to hear that Bugs, Daffy, Porky and all the other major Warner Brothers stars were going to be in a movie and how he already planned on taking his own infant son to see it whenever it was done and out.

He shook his head; when he and Dot had found out they had been impressed, though Wakko and his friends had gone nuts. Apparently some of the sports figures that were going to be in the movie were a lot more important to them than they were to Yakko. Sure, he knew who Michael Jordon was; you'd have to be living in a cave not to, but Yakko could honestly say he had never watched a complete basketball game in his life. The longest he had seen Michael Jordon was on a Hanes ad or a shoe commercial.

Bugs said he was a nice guy though. In fact he was telling the Cop all about him while signing something that was not bright yellow, so Yakko assumed that the Officer was not giving Bugs the ticket he so rightfully deserved. He smirked; all the times Bugs had been stopped, he managed to charm or talk his way out of the ticket about twenty-five percent of the time if they were in ToonTown. He was more successful outside of ToonTown, where his average went up to about sixty percent.

Bugs was many things; a terrific driver was not one of them. He wasn't real bad; he tended to interpret 'no parking' or speed limits a bit loosely, but at least he didn't drive drunk or run red lights or talk on his cell phone when he drove. Yakko had to give him kudos for that. He did also seem to make an extra attempt to drive more carefully when Yakko or his siblings were in the car, something that Yakko had noticed over time if he happened to be riding in Slappy's car and Bugs was in front of them.

Yakko shifted in his seat slightly, anxious to get back to the lot. Fridays were always a day off for them. They still met with their tutors, but if nothing major was going on they all usually split up and went off lot. This week Bugs must have sensed that Yakko just wasn't in the mood to do much because when he saw Yakko walk in he had told him not to bother pulling out his books; they were leaving.

It had been a long few weeks while the writers had continued to put together scripts for them; some to be shown only in ToonTown, others to be shown on national television. Supposedly several new scripts had been written but so far they had only filmed one complete skit; 'Take My Siblings Please'.

Yakko hadn't been tickled with the title only because of the thoughts it conjured up in his head but he realized he was being asinine about it and kept the thoughts to himself. It wasn't one of their best skits and he had been rather disappointed with it really. He had high hopes for the next few though; Mr. Bunny had made mention that the next few would feature more action and comedy. Even he admitted that the last one wasn't that good and he had helped write it.

Today though they were supposed to be getting a new script. He was bored with sitting around the lot and was quite pleased that Bugs had taken him out for his weekly field trip. This time they had mostly driven up and down Sunset Boulevard and gone in many of the guitar shops that lined the street. After getting back into the car, a new book of sheet music in his hands they had managed to go about two miles before Bugs got pulled.

Finally growing bored leaning on the center consol watching Bugs and the Police Officer talk, this time about Bugs' speeding, Yakko reached into his bag to pull the book of sheet music out for the album 'Blood Sugar Sex Magick' and began to flip through it. He snapped his head back up to look at his tutor as he finished listening to the Officer and was saying his good-bye.

"Sure doc sure," Bugs said, giving the Officer a final wave. "I'll tell Daffy you said hello and that he's well loved among the motorcycle patrol officers. Yes, yes, I'll slow it down – thanks again!"

Bugs rolled the window back up as the Officer waved, clutching the paper Bugs had given him like it was a golden ticket to Wonka's factory.

"Thanks for your assistance," Bugs muttered while pulling off of the curb. In a mock-chiding tone he added, "Glad to see you're so loyal to your beloved mentor and lead chaperone. Flipping through sheet music while I risked getting a ticket-"

"That you deserved," Yakko smirked, not even looking up from his book.

"For shame Yakko-"

"Please," Yakko snorted back. "I've seen you talk the cops out of giving you tickets all the time. The last six tickets you got probably totaled the state of California's monthly budget."

"You're probably right," Bugs said while merging into traffic as they left the construction zone. "Nothing but a hidden form of taxation. But hey, no harm no foul – at least this cop was a fan."

"Good thing for you," Yakko said, barely looking up from his music book. "Probably be your biggest ticket to date."

"Hardly," Bugs muttered, narrowing his eyes. "Got one a few years ago that was suitable for framing. I still hold Foghorn responsible for that."

_Now that sounds like a story._

Yakko closed the book and turned to look at Bugs but the rabbit had fallen silent with a look on his face that clearly said he regretted mentioning that bit of information. When he didn't continue Yakko knew he'd have to loosen his tongue a bit.

"Come on Bugs – let's hear it."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

"Please? Pretty please?" As an afterthought he added, "Do you like cherries by chance?"

When Bugs didn't say anything Yakko decided to try the extremely-annoying-but-always-effective-on-him tactic of repeating 'please'. The constant refrain chanted by Wakko or Dot always worked on him.

"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Pl-"

"Enough doc! You sign up for classes in annoyance I don't know about?"

"Yep. Have two great teachers."

"I won't ask," Bugs retorted. "Fine."

Yakko smirked at his cranky expression. Good to know he learned Wakko and Dot's favorite form of annoyance thoroughly.

"Few years ago we were going to see a stand-up act in ToonTown. We were each driving there; he had just finished tinkering with some old Monte-Carlo he had been fixing up and I had just bought a BMW 325. All he talked about was how fast this car was and how it would smoke anything out there and that my little BMW wasn't worth the gum holding it together. You know how he is; it's gotta be bigger to be the best."

Yakko nodded as Bugs continued.

"Now I knew my car was fast and Foghorn was just trying to be obnoxious so I tried to ignore it. Anyway, we cleared customs to ToonTown and he starts trying to race me; you know creeping up next to me then taking off to the next light? Leaning up so his big feathered head was sticking out of the t-top. What a maroon. I kept trying to wave him off but he kept persisting so finally I said to myself 'OK fine you loudmouth shnook; you wanna run that beak? I'll give you something to run it about'. So at the next light, I looked around and saw that traffic in his lane was backed up and my lane was clear. Instead of taking off like I normally do I floor it and peel out; must have left half of my tires behind."

"Unfortunately Foghorn didn't peel out and after a few seconds I figured out why; he had seen the three police cars sitting up ahead of us on the side of Sam Ward Boulevard. I hadn't and I screamed past them at around seventy; speed limit was forty. Needless to say those officers weren't too happy with me when I finally stopped."

"What happened to Foghorn?" Yakko asked.

"He cruised past at about thirty miles per hour, shaking his head and waving his hand out the sunroof."

"You weren't mad at him?" Yakko asked.

"Nah, I would have done the same thing," Bugs answered with a devilish look. "I did want to strangle him at the time. He at least stopped in the next parking lot to wait for me…and to bail me out," Bugs finished off with a mutter.

Yakko started for a second.

_Did I just hear right?_

Grinning, Yakko asked, "Did you say bail?" When Bugs didn't answer he persisted. "You said bail. You actually got arrested? Come on Bugs, I want to hear this."

"It's not what you think Yakko. I got…detained," Bugs said. "Cops in ToonTown aren't quite as impressed by toon stars as the humans sometimes, so it's harder to talk your way out of a ticket…or from getting your car impounded. Or getting hauled off to the station."

_This just gets better and better,_ Yakko thought, trying desperately to keep his face straight.

With Bugs, if you laughed when he was telling you something like this he would usually clam up. Yakko understood; he'd do the same thing. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to imagine Foghorn's smirk, Bugs' annoyed expression or his mentor trying and failing to talk his way out of that mess. Apparently even Hollywood legends could occasionally get busted.

Finally he gave up.

"Hey, I got a question; did they make you wear the black and white stripes?"

"Don't be a wiseguy Yakko; we're still a few miles away from the lot. I'll make you walk back."

"Can't," Yakko laughed while leaning back in his seat. "Have to stay in sight of you, remember?"

"I'll drive slow enough that you can run next to the car." After a moment he added, "And I wasn't arrested per say. They just impounded my car and gave me a court date."

Yakko started laughing again and asked, "OK, I have to know; what was the fine?"

"Well," Bugs said, pausing as they came to a stop at the light. "Cost me close to a grand in court fees, another five hundred to get the car out of impound, listen to the Judge scream at me for almost an hour about the dangers of speeding and," he grimaced. "Community Service. That was my third speeding ticket in six months."

"What was the community service?" When Bugs didn't answer and just twisted his mouth around like he bit into a lemon Yakko added, "Come on, promise I won't laugh. They make you pick up litter on the side of the highway? Were you on a chain gang? Don't make me start chanting again."

"Anything but that." Bugs sighed and said, "Fine, fine, you'll probably hear about it sooner or later; surprised you haven't already. I had to do a television appearance."

_That's all?_

"That doesn't sound bad."

Honestly, it didn't. A PSA – sure, they were usually sort of cheesy but they were short; shouldn't have taken too long to film. What a whiner.

"No, you don't understand doc; this PSA," Bugs let out an involuntary shudder. "This one…just the premise, the acting, the Allen Menken song…dealing with ALF…"

_What? ALF? Singing a song? _

_Oh no, no way…_

"You're not saying-"

"You promised not to laugh Yakko-"

"But-But-But," Yakko managed to sputter out before throwing his head back and bursting into an uproarious laughter. He laughed so hard so fast he could feel his face growing hot as he started to choke and tears pricked at his eyes.

_This is priceless…_

"So much for your promises," Bugs said sarcastically while pounding Yakko on the back.

"But you didn't give me any warning it was that 'Toon Stars on a Mission'!" Yakko exclaimed while wiping his eyes. "That thing is legendary for being ridiculous in ToonTown! I knew you were in it but I had no idea it was community service for you guys-"

"It's 'Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue'. And stop laughing, it's not that funny."

He was trying, really. He just wasn't being very successful. It was funny; the famous Bugs Bunny – cotton-tailed terror of the asphalt – sitting in a police station, car impounded, then being yelled at by a judge and forced into doing that dreck they called a special.

"Oh come on," Yakko laughed, weakly kicking his feet as he heard Bugs grumbling good-naturedly under his breath. "If it was me you'd laugh too."

"I'd probably strangle you, but set that aside. I had to do the special-"

When Yakko started laughing again Bugs added, "Come on Yakko! Those things were huge back in the eighties and early nineties. What do you think He-Man and the ThunderCats were doing at the end of every episode?"

"I don't know," Yakko chuckled. "When they started to get all preachy and got into drink your milk and take your vitamins I usually changed the channel. I'm not taking advice on anything from two guys who have been popped for steroids multiple times."

"Fair enough," Bugs said. "Though the messages weren't bad."

"Was everyone on the special in trouble for driving infractions?" Yakko asked, trying to stop snickering. He planned on pumping as much of this fascinating story out of Bugs as he could, and since the rabbit was talking about it, the least he could do was try to hide his hilarity at the situation until he was out of Bugs' sight.

_Man, ToonTown's full of crappy drivers._

"Hardly. You think all those Smurfs did with those mushrooms was live in them?" Bugs snorted. "Use your head kid; no one is that happy all the time."

"No wonder they were always going ga-ga for the so-called 'Smurfberries'. They weren't hungry; they were jonesing for a fix."

"Hardy-har-har. You wanna here this or make jokes doc?"

"I'll hear it now," Yakko said. "I'll make the jokes later."

"Brat," Bugs said.

Yakko grinned at him innocently, hoping Bugs would fall for it. Or at least continue with the story. This was loads better than the conversation they were having prior to Bugs' getting stopped, which dealt with why Yakko needed to write a ten page paper on spin-changes and why he shouldn't – no matter how funny it was – try continuously to drive Plotz crazy. According to Bugs, the usual nonsense that Plotz dealt with on a daily basis would take him to the funny farm soon enough. If he drove him crazy now there wouldn't be anymore laughs to be got out of it later.

"Well, Daffy was there for accidentally hitting a cop in the groin with his Corvette door when he got a ticket for an accident and he was getting out to yell at the driver."

"I have to ask," Yakko said while trying in vain to wipe the smile off his face at the image while trying not to wince. "Why was ALF there? Really? Did he not have anything else to do or did he sneak in the back door or what?"

"Nah; he got busted trying to eat Hello Kitty when she was over here on a good will ambassador tour. I remember that guy's hand smelt like a litter box."

_I had to ask._

"OK, share the dirt on the rest of the troublemakers."

Bugs smirked and said, "Nosy little bugger aren't you? Not everyone was a troublemaker; the Muppet Babies were just there earning some brownie points. As silly as some of the PSA's are, they do look good with the public and can sometimes teach a valuable lesson."

"Meaning they had nothing better to do," Yakko added.

"Well…yeah," Bugs agreed. "Same with the kids from Ducktales, though I've heard the oldest of the trio is a bit of a wild-child now. Winnie-the-Pooh was there but I suspect Disney Studios' didn't want to not have at least one of their biggest and most well known stars in that show and no way was Mickey showing up for that malarkey. Heard enough laughing from him when he found out I had to do it."

_I can imagine._

"Tigger was there."

"Speed; you think it makes humans go crazy you should see how loony it can make a toon. Woody Woodpecker was busted with him, but part of the stipulation on doing the special was that we don't get into any further trouble before we filmed it. Woody got out and was caught running up the street in Clammpet high as a satellite. At least Tigger was smart enough to stay off it. I made Foggy drive me around for a month just to make sure I couldn't get busted for speeding again."

"Your license was suspended wasn't it?"

"Anyway," Bugs continued and Yakko scowled at him for ignoring his question. "I know the turtle was there for possession and his brothers – lucky for them – managed to not get dragged down with him, unlike Alvin's poor brothers. Those two saps got hauled along for the ride when Alvin mouthed off to the wrong judge for blaring his music to loud. Slimer was there for some sort of vandalism charge."

"I know I'll regret this asking, but why was Garfield there and how come ALF didn't try to eat him?"

"Garfield got busted…uh…partaking of some of the fine selection of herbs the turtle had to offer."

"Catnip?" Yakko asked.

"Right. Have you heard that turtle talk?" Bugs laughed and said, "He claimed he thought he was buying fresh oregano for his lasagna recipe but the court wasn't buying that. Told him to get his striped butt to the shoot or face a stiff fine and thirty days in the joint. He chose to show up for the shoot with a couple of bodyguards."

"It explains so much really," Yakko muttered to himself while still laughing. "I used to wonder why some of the biggest names in animation were hanging out with a few never-has-beens and some kids."

"Off that embarrassing subject," Bugs said while waving his hand dismissively as the light turned green and he hit the gas. "Since we took a break from doing anything today, on Monday we're gonna start working on a few new things you need to know. And I still expect that paper."

_Damn. Hoped he forgot about it._

"You've seen our new scripts haven't you?" Yakko asked, trying to change the subject. When Bugs nodded he added, "Tell me what they are?"

Bugs shook his head smirking. "No."

"Oh come on Bugs! Even a hint? Are they at least better than the last one?"

"Forget it doc. That'll teach you not to laugh when you promised not to."

"Said I was sorry," Yakko replied. "Next time warn me when you're going to tell me something that funny."

Yakko turned and briefly looked out the windshield before looking back at Bugs to ask, "Now, about those scripts?"

Yakko figured he must have had a rather pathetic look on his face because Bugs said, "You'll find out soon enough; I expect they will be ready when we get to the lot and-"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Settle down boy! The rides – I say – the rides aren't gonna go anywhere!"

"Course they will!" Wakko yelled over his shoulder as he ran toward the next ride. "They're rides Foghorn; they're supposed to go places! Up, down, around and around, back and forth and left and right!"

Wakko laughed as he waited for Foghorn to catch up with him. As he got closer he saw Foghorn roll his eyes and mutter 'why do I put myself through this'.

"Because you wanted to go to the carnival too!" Wakko said.

And Foghorn had; he was the one who had spotted it. Originally they had only been going out to get lunch because Wakko had managed to write a perfect paper; Foghorn hadn't even been able to find a misspelled word. Wakko sent a silent thank-you out to Dot; she had gone through it and made sure there were no spelling errors. It was a good thing she had gone through it; she had actually found several. At least the paper was only a page and a half. Which was a page more than Foghorn said he had been expecting from him so the rooster was happy.

But when Foghorn had spotted the small carnival in the parking lot of the mall, complete with a few rides and a funny car race he had suggested going there to spend the afternoon and get lunch. Wakko hadn't exactly objected; with a bit of careful planning and a bit of pleading and compromising he had even managed to talk Foghorn into letting him eat pretty much what he wanted.

Wakko had to grin to himself; Yakko was right; sometimes Foghorn was nothing but a big kid himself. Yes, he was an adult and had all of his rules and priorities and such straight, but if given his choice Foghorn liked to spend a large amount of time goofing off too.

He still liked to pull his trick of slipping in 'learning opportunities' into whatever they were doing, but Wakko had gotten used to them. When they had been heading there Foghorn had been quizzing him on Chucking; he had been quizzing him on it for the last two weeks actually. Wakko knew that was his fault though; he had almost severed his tail from his body last week by trying to one up Plucky on running through a chain link fence. Wakko mistimed what he was supposed to do…and when…and how….He shrugged to himself. He honestly didn't know what he was supposed to be doing, had bungled it badly and ended up getting a deep gash in his tail.

He wasn't sure what had been worse; the lecture he got from Yakko on trying stunts that he hadn't been thoroughly trained on while lying face down on a table getting his tail stitched up by Nurse Miller or his friends laughing at him. After Plucky had determined he wasn't dead and had gotten him to the on lot infirmary he had laughed for an hour straight about it and told Max, Buster, Babs and anyone else he could find to share the story with.

When Foghorn had gotten near him again Wakko grabbed his hand and said, "Come on hurry! I want to ride this and then get something to eat; I'm hungry!"

"You just ate boy-"

"I know," Wakko said. "And I want to eat again."

It was weird; he had been getting hungry more often. Yakko said it was normal though so Wakko had shrugged it off. As long as he didn't have any incidents with his 'problem' he wouldn't be too concerned about it.

Wakko sighed and rolled his eyes when Foghorn paused and waved his hand at him, telling him to stop for a minute. The chicken pulled out his cell phone and Wakko turned, spying a game, a man who vaguely reminded him of the creepy child-catcher in 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' standing behind the counter and hoarsely telling people to come up and give it a try; only five dollars for six balls.

It didn't sound like a great deal really, but Wakko shrugged to himself. The man had all sorts of silly looking plush toys for prizes and he knew that he had good aim. Whenever they played ball on the lot he was frequently the pitcher. Maybe he could win one of the stuffed toys for Dot to add to the monstrous collection on her bed, sort of a thank-you for being such a good proofreader. He walked toward the barker, reaching in his pocket for his money.

He thought they were silly, but girls sure seemed to like them. Elmyra had been over the moon at the big stuffed panda bear he had given her for her birthday back in April. He chose to ignore the fact that he still had his stuffed bunny but the only one who knew that was Yakko. His older brother had given it to him a while ago, saying he had thrown it in his hammerspace when they had originally fled ToonTown and he had just recently tripped across it floating around in there.

Wakko had scoffed of course; he was way too old and mature for a stuffed toy; he was almost ten, or would be soon. But he had still taken the bunny and kept it in his own hammerspace. Sometimes he still took it out if he was really upset or feeling a wave of nostalgia. Not that he would tell anyone; he'd probably be laughed out of Burbank.

Wako paused to pose for a picture with a few kids; an older boy was telling two girls to stand still while another little girl kept calling him 'red hat' before reaching out to grab at his nose. He signed a piece of paper the older boy gave him before heading toward the game stand.

As he approached though he heard Foghorn bellowing his name, ordering him to 'get your furry behind– I say – get your furry behind back here boy!' Turning, Wakko saw that he had managed to wander away from Foghorn, who was still talking on his cell phone, for once not having the usual grin on his beak. Wakko quickly made his way back through the sea of people, hoping it wasn't something that was going to pull them away from the carnival; he really wanted to ride the tilt-a-whirl.

He frowned as he got closer. With the noise going on around him he couldn't hear what Foghorn was saying even if he raised his ears up but the rooster didn't look happy. Wakko was a little taken aback at the look Foghorn threw at him and he thought for a moment, hoping it wasn't anything he had done. He hadn't done anything too terrible in the past week he could think of; he had been trying to steer clear of being in any major trouble. The little sightseeing tour of Disney Studios hadn't exactly been forgotten yet.

"Thought I told – I say – thought I told you to stay close boy!" Foghorn snapped before saying grimly into the phone, "Gotta tie a bell 'round that boy's neck. I understand Mr. Plotz. We'll be right there."

_Ugh. Plotz. Fun's over._

Clicking his phone off, Foghorn reached down and picked Wakko up, surprising him. Foghorn rarely did that; sure if he fell asleep or something he assumed he picked him up and carried him, or if they were in a really thick crowd or if he got super tired, but that didn't happen real often.

Foghorn looked upset though; maybe he just needed a hug. Wakko could do that; a quick one of course.

"Let's go boy."

"Are we going to get something to eat?"

"We're going to the hospital."

"Why there?" Wakko asked, wrinkling his nose. "They've got terrible food."

_I should know._

"Not for food son," Foghorn said, heading toward the exit of the carnival. As he made his way through the throng of people quickly, he added, "There's been an accident boy. Now don't-"

"Accident?"

Wakko stiffened slightly and felt a funny feeling run up his spine, sort of a cold feeling.

Thoughts of food forgotten, Wakko gripped Foghorn's feathers tighter. "Who? Where?"

"Bugs got hit head-on – I say Bugs got hit head on over on Sunset-"

_Head-on? _

_Yakko was with Bugs…_

"-he and Yakko's been taken to the hospital. We gotta-"

"We gotta go! Now! Move!" Wakko gripped Foghorn's feathers so tight he was afraid he might yank them out and started pulling, wishing Foghorn would stop talking and move quicker, push people out of the way if need be. "Is he OK? Which hospital? What about Bugs? Wait! Dot! Does she know? We have to-"

"Now settle down boy; we don't know how bad it is yet," Foghorn said. "Dot'll know soon enough; Plotz is calling Porky now. We have to stay positive like; just cuz they got taken to the hospital-"

Foghorn was talking, but Wakko wasn't hearing much of what he was saying. There was a funny rushing sound in his ears and his head felt weird; light. He was glad Foghorn was carrying him right now; if he was trying to walk he might fall down.

He took a breath, trying to calm himself. Foghorn was right; auto accidents could be minor; maybe they had just been taken for a check up. He went to the doctor every now and then, even when he wasn't sick, but they ran all sorts of goofy tests anyway, just to make sure there was nothing wrong. Maybe it was the same way with auto accidents. He blinked back the tears that were threatening to sting at his eyes; he was being overly worried for nothing. Probably. He hoped.

He tried to listen to Foghorn.

"…and Taz pulled out of that just fine. He saw the wreck coming and was able to Chuck, go all squishy and such just in time and when he flew off the bike and landed he just sort of bounced. Sure, he broke a few fingers but that's minor – I say – that's minor boy. Bugs is a pro, best in the business. No way he would let something happen to Yakko if he could avoid it. And I say…"

_If he could avoid it. What if he couldn't avoid it? What if he hadn't seen it coming? What then?_

Wakko leaned his head on Foghorn's chest as the rooster made his way toward the truck while chewing on his lip.

"OK Foghorn. How far is the hospital from here?"

"Few minutes boy; I'll get us there quick as possible. And when we get there I'm sure Porky and Dot will be there and then we can see Bugs and Yakko and…"

Wakko nodded. He was glad Foghorn was there, no doubt about that. Sure he was goofy and silly and had a bit of a mischievous streak himself if the pranks that Wakko had seen him doing were any indication, but he could also be depended on to step up in a time of crisis and offer any help he could.

Wakko sighed, hoping that Yakko was OK. Head on collisions usually were pretty serious, but he needed to stay calm no matter how scared he was, if for no other reason than for Dot. She was going to be terrified he knew. She didn't frequently lose her head exactly but she was little. If Yakko was hurt it was going to be his responsibility to fill in for all the older brother duties.

But that wasn't going to happen. Right?

Foghorn opened the door to the truck and put Wakko in the seat before almost running to the driver's side and throwing his own door open and climbing inside. Wakko buckled his seat belt as Foghorn still talked about something, about staying positive no matter what they were told at the hospital.

But that was OK; he could be positive now. Yakko was fine, Bugs was fine. Wakko let out a mirthless chuckle to himself. The worst that probably happened was that Bugs would have to go out and buy a new car if his was totaled. Maybe he'd bring them along and they could help him pick out a new one.

He was being a worry wart, something he was never accused of. He was more of a go with the flow carefree individual. It was just hard not to worry right now, especially since Foghorn, despite his constant chatter looked unusually grim, hadn't stopped to talk to any of the fans or the photographer that came toward them, and wasn't making any jokes and was refusing to turn on the radio.

XXXXXXXXXX

"D-D-Don't you fret Dot; you'll see, Y-Y-Yakko and B-B-Bugs will be fine. And look; Foghorn and W-W-Wakko are already here; I see the truck."

Dot nodded and tried to get a better look over the dashboard. She hated being short. She hated being strapped in the seat belt. She hated the fact that she didn't know what was going on and Porky didn't seem to be forthcoming with any information. She hated the fact that no matter how quickly she wanted to get to the hospital Porky still insisted on obeying all speed limits and traffic lights. He even gave her a short lecture on automobile safety saying that she wouldn't run a horse that hard or dangerously so they wouldn't do it in a car and get themselves in a wreck too.

Sniffing and wiping her nose and eyes on her glove she sat up on her knees to look out the window. She couldn't see Foghorn's truck but she could see the hospital looming up into the afternoon sky, looking as white and cold as the ice that was currently surrounding her heart.

Yakko was in there; maybe hurt, maybe not. Porky seemed unwilling to tell her much. The pig, normally happy to share any and all information he had at his disposal was currently being very closed mouthed about the phone call from Plotz. All he had said was her oldest brother and Bugs had been in a bad accident and they needed to get to the hospital immediately. When he said that she had practically dragged him out of the ice cream parlor they had been in.

She glanced at her tutor. Normally a healthy pink, right now Porky's skin color was a ghastly looking blush color and he had his lips pressed tightly together as he cast glances at her. Looking at his hands she saw he was gripping the steering wheel so hard that she had fears he would leave permanent indentations in the plastic.

Porky was worried. He kept telling her everything was fine and she would love to believe him. She just didn't. He had said a bad accident which meant it was more than the usual 'fender-benders' as Wakko liked to call them.

She bit her lip to keep from screaming in frustration. If Porky knew anything more he should tell her. She'd like to believe he would if he did know anything more. He must too because he had quickly snapped off the radio despite her protests when the announcer had started talking about 'breaking news - two major toon stars involved in a horrific automobile accident on a section of Sunset Boulevard'. She didn't exactly need to hear their names to know what they were talking about. Bugs was a legend and at this point Yakko was hardly an unknown.

She had been able to hear that the two stars – one semi-conscious and one unconscious – had been taken by ambulance to Good Samaritan Hospital and that the police and rescue personal had responded quickly before Porky had quickly snapped the radio off, saying that they shouldn't listen to the preliminary reports; it would be better to get the correct facts directly at the hospital.

And they were here and she wanted the facts. Even if they were bad.

She quickly unclicked her seatbelt with trembling fingers almost before she started climbing off the booster seat Porky had in his car for her so she could safely ride. She hated having to ride in the booster seat like a baby – Foghorn didn't make Wakko ride in one and he was barely taller than her – but at least it kept the seatbelt from hitting her in the face.

"L-L-Let's go Dot," Porky called.

Quickly grabbing Porky's outstretched hand, Dot began racing toward the large glass doors labeled 'Emergency', part of her wishing she could already do ToonSpeed so she could get there quicker, and another part of her wishing she would never reach the doors and have to find out something bad on the other side.

_Calm down Dot_, she scolded herself while Porky stuttered quietly about having to be patient if there was no news when they got in since Bugs and Yakko wouldn't have been there long themselves.

She nodded a few times, not really listening to him. Too many other thoughts were going through her head. Was Yakko OK? Was Bugs? How could something like this happen? Isn't that what those stupid air-bags were for?

She glanced toward her right and saw several news vans already lining the streets and wrinkled her nose. An accident involving toon stars was news worthy but did they need to flock to the hospital before even the family got there?

She ducked her head as she saw a man with a camera aim the device toward her. Porky must have seen it too because he waved at the man with a stern expression. The man waved back but continued to film while a blond woman talked into a microphone. Porky finally picked her up and carried her and Dot hid her face in his neck, not wanting to be filmed right now. Another man saw them and began yelling questions at them, asking for their thoughts on the incident.

Figures, for one of the first times a reporter was interested in her and she had no interest in talking to him. Chances were if she did talk to the man right now she'd get in trouble for saying something bad or make herself look like a fool because she started crying again.

"Just i-i-i…just don't look at them Dot," Porky muttered. "W-W-We'll worry about them l-l-later, when this is over."

Dot nodded but didn't reply. She still wanted to tell them to go away. But they would be inside soon enough and hopefully there would be no news cameras inside the waiting room.

And Wakko was in there, by himself. She knew Foghorn was with him but he would probably like his entire family there. She remembered how he had instantly perked up when she and Yakko had appeared in the doorway of his room when he went there the first time his diabetes acted up. He was a very feeling creature, displaying his emotion on his face. Sure, he tried to hide it but she could see right through him. She wondered if he had been assaulted by news cameras or if he and Foghorn got inside before they arrived.

The doors opened automatically as they approached. Dot felt the cool breeze of the hospital air conditioning envelop her and smelled the usual odors; sterile and cold. As usual the emergency waiting room was bustling with activity; people waiting in chairs, nurses and doctors bustling back and forth, kind looking ladies with clipboards gathering information from patients, a few toons were already in the waiting room too.

Over to her left, in a small room with a television playing softly she saw Goofy sitting on a chair, his son Max leaning against him. Across from him sat Mickey, dressed in a pair of green shorts with a hideous yellow shirt that clashed horribly. In front of the room a security officer was standing, his back rigid and his hands clasped behind his back, scanning the room.

She snapped her head over to the right where there was another admittance desk, complete with Wakko jumping around while yelling his head off and trying to snatch at some papers. Meanwhile, an angry looking hippo woman was holding the papers away from him while she yelled back at him. A weary looking Foghorn tried to grab at him and talk to the woman at the same time.

"I want to know where my brother is! Now!"

"Now see here young man-"

"Now just settle down there son, we're not gonna get any info if you keep bouncing around like a toddler hot off a two hour Juicy Juice bender! Now lookie here lady, we just wanna – I say – we just wanna know about Bugs Bunny and Yakko Warner; can ya process that quickly and let us know please?"

"Sir, unless you're a relative-"

"I am will you listen to me!"

"Oh d-d-dear," Porky muttered, quickly making his way to the desk. "See Dot, I t-t-told you Foghorn and Wakko were here."

Well, Wakko always knew how to make an entrance. And she was the one who had the reputation of being the loud one and always wanting the attention focused on her. Maybe he should have sung 'I'm Cute' instead.

The thought of Wakko singing the lines in his deep voice while admiring himself in a mirror- probably trying to blow the world's biggest spit bubble while he was doing it - was simply too much for her strained nerves and she started laughing, a high-pitched squeal that sounded funny to her own ears. Porky turned his head to give her a startled look and she shook her head before burying her face in his neck again, starting to cry. One brother was hurt, the other one had gone insane and she was sitting there laughing; what was wrong with her? Maybe she was going crazy too. Porky rubbed her back as they finally reached the still yelling Wakko and Foghorn.

"-and if you're not his legal next of kin-"

"I am damn it!" Wakko yelled, stomping his foot. "Why aren't you understanding this you fat-"

Dot blinked while staring at him. Wakko had gone crazy; he usually tried to keep his language to a minimum around the adults. Maybe he was trying to fluster the woman; he was still reaching for the files she had in her hand. She let out a small gasp to herself; maybe that was Yakko's file. Wakko was always a guy of action; if the woman wasn't going to give it to him he'd just take it himself.

"Now watch it boy. Look woman," Foghorn said, making another grab at Wakko who bounced to the left and narrowly avoiding getting grabbed. "I've been trying to keep calm but you don't seem to be processing the information I've been giving you! There is no parent that's why I'm here to-"

"I'm not at liberty to give out any information on any patients without-"

"M-M-Miss," Porky finally said. "If I c-c-could be of s-s-service here I think I can-"

"Glad you're here," Foghorn muttered, making yet another half-hearted grab at Wakko. "Have my hands full with the boy already and I can't get this here woman to listen-"

"I'm not giving any of you any inform-"

"Please!" Dot said, jumping out of Porky's arms and onto the counter next to the still bouncing Wakko. "It's our brother!" Dot reached out to grab the front of the woman's uniform and began trying to shake her and trying not to inhale too much of the woman's cheap perfume. "Tell us what happened! Are they alright? Where are they? Are they-"

"Little girl please!" The woman yelled, looking more frazzled than she had previously when just dealing with Foghorn and Wakko. "Unless you are-"

"Got it!" Wakko yelled, finally successful in grabbing the file. He reached over and grabbed Dot's wrist and she followed him as he ran down the counter. "Come on Dot we'll find out ourselves-"

"Stop him!" The woman yelled, looking completely flustered. "That file isn't for your eyes!"

"Look in it Wakko," Dot said, still sniffing. "See what it says! Hurry!"

"I'm trying but-"

Dot looked at him as he cut off and went rising up in the air one way, the file flying out of his hands as Foghorn snatched him off the counter with a sound of triumph. Less than a second later Dot felt herself rising in the air as Porky grabbed her.

"S-S-S…just calm down Dot," he said quietly while handing the scattered papers to the woman. "Let me handle this."

Dot nodded as Porky continued to try to reason with the woman and Foghorn held Wakko, chastising him for grabbing the file and telling him that it wouldn't do any good anyway. Apparently there was some sort of rule that doctors had to write even more illegibly than Wakko did and he wouldn't have been able to read it anyway.

Porky was trying his hardest, she had to give him that. He even told her to look in Yakko's file; it said in there that he was protected under the _guardian ad slavus _and that any one of eight people from the studio were allowed to talk to the doctors about his condition but the woman seemed far too stressed to even listen to him. He kept trying to reason with her saying that it was all in the file for Yakko. Bugs had a sister that could be called, and Porky and Foghorn, along with Mr. Bunny were listed as emergency contacts.

The woman, no doubt pushed to her limits just dealing with the usual crowd at the hospital on a daily basis wouldn't budge. She told Porky to go sit down, keep the children quiet and she would get to him in good time.

Dot's eyes widened when she heard Porky's voice start raising, his stutter becoming more pronounced as he told the woman that he was tired of talking to her and he would greatly appreciate it if she would either look in the file or find him someone with a more agreeable personality that would be willing to work with them. Dot blinked and stared at him; as long as she had known him he had never yelled really, not even if she didn't do some assignment. He had barely yelled when Bergan had accidentally stepped on his foot. No matter what happened he was his usual calm unwavering self. Apparently even Porky had a breaking point.

The woman finally threw up her hands and stomped off, calling for assistance at the desk while the entire waiting room watched the spectacle. Dot stared back at the mixture of humans and toons; sure, she and Wakko were acting up but the woman was being unreasonable. Wakko had told – well yelled – several times that it was their brother and if everyone wanted to stare at them, so be it. She'd strip and run naked through the waiting room singing if it would get the woman to tell her what was going on.

As Foghorn continued to talk quietly to Wakko, who was looking a bit calmer and nodding, another woman came over to speak to Porky, telling him she knew the situation, she was sorry for the confusion. If he and Mr. Leghorn would keep the children calm and wait in the smaller waiting room she would page the doctorswho were treating Yakko and Bugs and they would be there as soon as possible.

Porky nodded and thanked the woman graciously as she gave him a small smile and began paging a 'Doctor Paulson' and a 'Doctor Jones'.

Dot turned to glance in the smaller waiting room they were heading to. Several more toons were there, a few she recognized, others she wasn't sure on. She glanced up as the outer doors to the emergency room slid open again to admit Slappy, hauling Skippy along while she moved people out of her way with her cane and bellowed about not having even been given a call about the accident and causing every head in the waiting room to turn in her direction as a human, a police officer, followed her in, talking into a walkie-talkie on his shoulder. Through the doors she could still see the street and parking lot, where it looked like several more news vans were lining up. She let out a small whimper to herself while Porky gave her a gentle squeeze and moved toward Slappy.

"Calm d-d-down Slappy," Porky said. "If we're too loud we might get kicked out and-"

"Love to see them try that," she huffed as Foghorn also came over, still carrying Wakko who was chewing on his lip with enough force Dot waved at him to stop. He'd chew his lip off and then she'd have to worry about him too. She had enough on her mind to worry about.

Skippy gave her a small wave and a sad smile she tried to return, hoping she actually managed to tip her lips upward; right now she was too numb to feel much. She glanced around as a few more toons trickled in and felt her eyebrows raise as Mr. Plotz walked into the hospital, looking frantic.

She snorted to herself. Bugs was a humongous star and Yakko was a pretty hot commodity just on his own with the show being such a huge hit. He was probably just going to scream about ratings and how much money this was going to cost the studio. Slappy was there though; maybe she would finally get to see her carry through on her threat of putting a bomb down the man's pants.

XXXXXXXXXX

"-several witnesses say the truck veered toward the left and collided with the Mercedes as it headed west on Sunset-"

"-and it is unknown for how long the Major League Players will remain on strike. And in entertainment news, a hospital official speaking on condition of anonymity has confirmed that both Bugs Bunny and Yakko Warner were indeed the two stars that were riding in the ill-fated Mercedes and that-"

"-neither one entered the hospital under their own power our own Mel Bellagio reported as he arrived seconds after the two ambulances that took the stars to-"

"And the big UPS truck swerved to the left when that other car pulled out and just hit that little red car and when it did the car just spun out and the rear end hit the light pole! Made a big mess-"

"Warner Brothers Studio has announced it will hold a press conference tomorrow morning to update us and all the fans on the condition of two of its biggest stars as the world anxiously awaits word-"

"Police are still investigating the cause of the accident but so far no charges have been issued."

"Well Mary, so far we can all assume that shooting on the new 'Looney Toons' movie will be on hold for awhile, as well as the new season of 'Animaniacs' until-"

"All afternoon, toons and humans alike have been arriving at the gates of Good Samaritan Hospital to check on the condition of two of ToonTown's brightest stars despite security and police blocking-"

_Stop flipping the damn channels so I can actually hear what they're saying!_ Wakko thought as Mickey continued to channel surf with a group of toons near the television.

Wakko stood on his toes and tried to ignore the slight feeling of dizziness that passed over him as he tried to get a better look but all he could see were the backs of other toons as they tried to watch the television themselves or whispered to each other, every now and then turning to give him and Dot sad smiles.

"Maybe you should get the children out of here," Lisa whispered quietly. "They shouldn't see this."

Wakko cocked his ears up slightly as the nurse whispered to Porky and a few of the other adults that were in the lounge with them. He hoped they didn't send him out of the room; he was barely getting any information now; if he wasn't at least halfway near the television set he wouldn't get any at all. He fidgeted, wishing Foghorn would come back. The rooster said he had to go check on a few things and he would be back before he knew it.

Wakko had breathed a sigh of relief and tried to sneak to the television, but before he had gotten four steps out Porky had grabbed his hand and held it, refusing to let go despite his protests. It had been like that all day; earlier when both Foghorn and Porky had left the room Slappy had stayed with them, even putting Skippy down so she could hold onto Wakko with one hand and Dot with the other. She told Wakko it was because TIS had been spotted outside and she didn't want them getting pinched but he had more of a feeling that it was to keep them away from the television or anyone who was talking about the accident.

In Porky's arms Dot had drifted off into an exhausted slumber. She had been dosing off all evening, sleeping for about five minutes before jerking awake and looking around. Wakko hoped she'd stay asleep this time. As worried as he was about Yakko and Bugs, he was worried about her too; she looked awful and her screaming and crying were wearing on his nerves, mostly because he didn't know how to offer her any comfort to try to help her through this. The most he had been able to do was hug her and he didn't really know how much that was helping. At the moment he felt like screaming and crying too. He bit it back though; seeing him crying would just upset her.

He wished he could pull out his bunny right now.

Knowing that would make him look like an idiot he chose to look around the room for the hundredth time, hoping that something would catch his interest for longer than ten seconds. Anything to take his mind off what was happening around him would be a welcome relief. All he could see though was feet, the occasional tail flicking back and forth, Michael Jordon's huge Nikes, Mr. McDuck's cane, Kit's jeans, Mr. Plotz's stubby little legs, Slappy's tail.

Ignoring the rumbling in his stomach he tried listening, hoping he'd hear something interesting instead. The adults had been coming and going in the room the whole time; he could only assume they were going and trying to gather some information but all he could hear was snatches of conversation, mostly along the lines of 'stiff upper lip', 'keeping positive', and 'they'll let us know soon'.

As the afternoon had dragged on into evening they had been directed by a very kind nurse to one of the many doctor's lounges to keep them out of the public eye and away from the paparazzi that had been trying to sneak in to get interviews. The police had actually arrested one man for impersonating a doctor. Unfortunately the lounge was fairly small for such a large group of people. As the news spread, more and more people – both human and toon – had arrived at the hospital to check on Bugs and Yakko's condition and to offer their sympathy and best wishes to him and Dot.

That was nice of them but he really wished they would go away right now. So many people were in the room that at this point it was standing room only. He and Dot, along with Skippy and a few other children had almost been squashed under all the feet and tails in the room and had finally been picked up in order to avoid being lost in the sea of people. He hadn't objected; he had never felt so tired in his life.

He had been trying to watch the television, but every time the accident was mentioned Foghorn and Porky had moved or told them they needed to say hi to someone or had somehow managed to block them from the television screen. He had a feeling they were trying to protect them but they didn't need protection; they needed to know what was going on.

So far he had been able to glean out of Foghorn and the television that Bugs and Yakko were hit by a UPS truck when it crossed the yellow line to avoid a car that pulled out in front of it, then they spun around a few times, bounced the curb and the rear end hit a light pole. He knew the doctors had talked to Foghorn and Porky but the adults were being suspiciously tight-lipped about the information they got right now.

But at least he knew how the accident happened. Now that he knew how it happened he wanted to know how his brother was. Unfortunately the news people didn't have any more information than he did at the moment and the adults weren't saying.

He had caught glimpses of the news footage, showing the accident scene before Foghorn or someone moved in front of him and he would lose it again, but he had to admit to himself he was almost glad; it looked terrible. Dot had seen it once and began screaming and crying and had almost refused to be consoled, even after being told that in accidents like that the roof didn't come off; the fire department would have cut it off so they could get to Bugs and Yakko safely and without further injury.

After that and Skippy starting to cry when he saw the television all the younger children had been hustled away to the rear of the lounge. Goofy had even chased his son away from the TV and he was almost a year older than Wakko. He had talked to the boy briefly; he seemed like an alright guy. He was decent friends with Plucky because he lived three houses away from him. Unfortunately Wakko wasn't in a real sociable mood. He hoped he hadn't been too rude to the guy; he didn't want him telling Plucky he was a jerk.

But even Max was gone now; Goofy had spoken to Porky hours ago, saying he was going to notify a few people himself at his own studio and asking that he please be called should they get any word. The only younger children there were Dot, Skippy, him and Kit. He scowled to himself; he wasn't one of the 'younger children' – they hadn't chased Kit away from the television and he was a lot closer to Yakko than Kit was.

Being young sucked sometimes. Well, a lot of the time.

He removed the scowl from his face quickly; Dot was waking up again.

Raising her head slightly and looking at him with red-rimmed eyes she whispered hoarsely, "Anything now?"

He shook his head, not wanting to speak, mostly because he felt like he was going to pass out; he just wasn't sure if it was from low blood sugar or from the shock of the last few hours. He certainly couldn't think of food at a time like this though. She was still looking at him with the same look she usually gave Yakko when she wanted him to say something comforting and make everything better. But Yakko wasn't there and it was his job now wasn't it?

_I'm gonna bungle this…please let us see Yakko…_

Reaching out with his free hand to grab hers he said, "No, not yet." He winced at her look; he had bungled it. Trying again he added, "Come on Dot, it's only been a few hours; probably any minute they're gonna walk through that door and tell us that he's gonna be fine, Bugs too. Hey, I bet they'll be out before the weekend!"

_And if I_ _say that enough I might believe it…_

Sniffing she said, "Do you really believe that Wakko?"

"Sure," he said with as much pep as he was able to get in his voice. "I bet they will and we can all go shopping."

Not likely. Yakko would jump off a cliff before he'd willingly go shopping and Wakko would be right behind him but anything at this point to get that look off her face.

"Maybe," she said, not sounding convinced. Her face crumbling again she said, "What if he's-"

"Come on Dot," he added desperately, wishing Foghorn would come back or Porky would jump in and help him out. He didn't know what to say; secretly he wanted someone to tell him it was going to be alright. Did Yakko have to go through this all the time, whenever some crisis hit? "You know Yakko! Yakko escaped a riot! A TIS home! He survived a major earthquake! And all while hauling around two younger kids! You think he's gonna let a little accident slow him down?"

"Well-"

"Of course not," he scoffed. "He'll be out of here and jumping on us to get our homework done and some script memorized so we can watch a movie before you know it! Do you remember when he got us away from Darkwing? Or when he got us out of Clampett? Or when he used to dress up like a goose?"

"Some…a little bit here and there maybe. Not really. He's really smart, he was probably great." She got a sulky look on her face before saying, "You got to see all that; he's told me some here and there but not much. You're lucky."

_Well, not really,_ he thought but he cheered slightly; a sulky Dot wasn't great, but it was better than a despondent Dot.

"Oh he was; I even got to witness his first fight with a mallet and the first time-"

He broke off for a moment with a thought. Dot loved stories, but she really loved stories in which she was the major star. Talking about Yakko was cheering him up some and Dot was looking interested which was far better than depressed.

"Did I ever tell you about when he got us out of the home when they took you away? Or when we left ToonTown in the back of a delivery truck?"

Dot shook her head no. He knew she had some of the full story, Yakko filled her in on some details here and there. Maybe she'd like it from his point of view. He didn't remember everything but he could cobble something together, fill in the gaps in his own memories with something.

He started telling her about the escape from the home, how he and Dane had stolen the map but hadn't been able to really read it and how Yakko had to take the map and the information in the file, find her, then haul him and the other boy out of the home, and how he had to rescue them in his first real mallet fight. He grinned to himself; he had a few memory gaps himself but he filled it in well he thought. Dot gave him a small sleepy smile before laying her head back down on Porky's shoulder to listen to him.

He paused as he was talking; Foghorn was coming back in carrying a few items and Dot looked like she had gone to sleep again. Maybe his story wasn't that great after all. He sometimes sucked at the 'consoling big brother' game.

"Come on boy," Foghorn said quietly while picking him up. "Let's get this – I say – let's get this taken care of before you up and pass out on me and I gotta worry 'bout you too."

Wakko looked at his hand; Foghorn had a package of cheese crackers and a bottle of Snapple.

"I'm fine Foghorn, did you-"

"You gotta eat boy – ain't healthy to-"

"I said-"

"Just eat the damn crackers Wakko. I don't wanna visit two brothers in the hospital," Dot mumbled sleepily into Porky's shoulder.

Wakko turned to look at her in surprise. Not only did Dot rarely swear, but he thought his boring story had put her to sleep.

"Dot!" Porky snapped.

"What? I wanna hear the rest of his story," she mumbled.

Porky scowled at her before he glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh m-m-my, I didn't realize...come on Dot. We should get you something to eat too."

"I don't wanna eat," Dot whined. "I wanna see Yakko."

"You can eat these," Wakko said, holding out the crackers. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat the crackers boy. I gotta - I say - I gotta talk to you anyway."

Wakko watched him exchange a quick look with Porky, who nodded slightly. Wakko frowned to himself, wondering what they just said in the silent communication. They had been whispering to each other occasionally when one would leave for a few minutes but it had been so quiet he hadn't been able to hear them.

Porky sighed and said, "C-C-Come on Dot we need to talk f-f-for a few minutes too."

"OK," Dot muttered. "You tell good stories Wakko but not as good as Yakko," she yawned before reaching out with one small gloved hand to touch Wakko's hand briefly.

Wakko shot her a small grin; OK so he was successful at the big-brother game sometimes.

"I'm pretty sure there was no evil dragon keeping me in a room though."

Well, no one said it had to be the complete truth. And that woman was as close to a dragon as you could get and not be Maleficent.

Dot struggled to wake up in Porky's arms as he quickly walked away, muttering to her softly as they left the lounge through the double doors. Foghorn handed Wakko the crackers and picked him up again. Wakko went to protest but shrugged to himself and allowed it; he was tired. He was getting picked up so much today Foghorn should just attach a handle to him and make it easier.

Foghorn went out the same doors Porky had exited through, wandering away from the crowded lounge and out through a back exit on the side of the building. Wakko looked around; they were in a hidden alley way with high brick walls. He could hear the noise of the street coming from behind the walls, every now and then a car horn would blare. It was past dusk too; they had been in there a lot longer than he thought.

"Now boy, eat the crackers. I already talked to a doc, got them to give me an emergency prescription of your insulin so we can stay a little longer without-"

"I'm not eating your stupid crackers! I wouldn't go anywhere anyway and I want to know-"

"Mule stubborn! What good is - I say - what good is it gonna be when Yakko wakes up and you're passed out in the next room beside him?"

_Wakes up?_

Wakko felt the funny cold feeling run up his spine again; Yakko should be awake. It wasn't that late and Yakko always said he was an insomniac; he shouldn't be asleep now.

"What do you mean wakes up? Isn't he awake now?"

Foghorn raised one eyebrow and gave a nod to the crackers in Wakko's hand. With an indignant grunt Wakko tore the package and ate one, not bothering to hide his contempt. He knew he needed to eat and he was glad Foghorn had thought about that and his insulin because he sure hadn't given much consideration to it. Now that he was eating hopefully Foghorn would stop stalling and let him in on what was happening. He didn't like the words 'when he wakes up'.

It must be bad; that's why Porky took Dot. He briefly had the thought that they were going to be separated like in the home but quickly stuffed that thought back down. It was a stupid thought; of course they wouldn't separate them whether Yakko was hurt or not…right? No, Foghorn would have warned him, he was sure of it.

"Now boy, Yakko's…sleeping," Foghorn finally said. "Kinda sleeping."

_OK, sleeping isn't bad…_

"He got knocked around pretty bad. You saw part of the wreck footage on the TV, even though we were trying to keep you two away from it. The two hits he and Bugs took…"

Foghorn took a big shuddering sigh and Wakko paused in eating the crackers. Foghorn usually ran his mouth quite a bit. Much like Yakko, if he wasn't talking a mile a minute something was very wrong. Wakko quickly swallowed the rest of the cracker, wincing when it went down his throat and landed in his stomach like a lump.

"That second hit on the pole, and when they spun…Yakko's head jerked around pretty hard. Sorta scrambled his head a bit boy; right now Yakko's in a sleep…a really deep sleep."

Wakko swallowed, wishing he could drink some of the Snapple because his mouth seemed dry all of a sudden. He couldn't move though; no matter how hard he tried he didn't seem able to move his arms. He felt stiff.

"How deep is deep?"

"Yakko's gone into a coma-"

Wakko closed his eyes, hoping he didn't hurl the crackers back up on Foghorn. He knew he shouldn't have eaten them.

A coma. People didn't wake up from comas did they? Yakko was gone. Wakko felt a stinging in his eyes and a light funny feeling in his head. Strangely his arms didn't feel so heavy anymore…

The next thing he knew Foghorn was tapping the side of his face.

"Boy? Wakko! Come on boy stay with me!"

Wakko jerked his eyes open, wondering what he was talking about.

"Thought you fainted on me boy; saw your eyes roll there."

"No they didn't! And you just said Yakko's dead!"

That's all he needed, for word to get out that he almost fainted. Not only would his older brother be dead he would probably be put in a mental hospital. Then what would happen to Dot?

"Boy you went limp," Foghorn replied, using his free hand to clamp Wakko's mouth closed. "And stay quiet for a second boy or I won't tell you what's going on; thought you were old enough – I say – thought you were old enough to hear some of the details that Porky's editing out for your sister right now."

Wakko glared at him but stayed silent, wishing Foghorn would move his hand an inch or so. His hand was so big it was covering part of his nose too. He was going to argue further that he wasn't fainting and he was mature enough to hear anything but if he started acting like a baby Foghorn would probably clam up. He wondered how much Dot wasn't going to hear. He wondered how much he wasn't going to hear.

"Now Wakko I didn't say anything about Yakko being dead," Foghorn said, finally removing his hand from Wakko's mouth.

Wakko took a deep breath, thankful his nose was uncovered and willing himself not to cry. Yakko wasn't dead; Foghorn didn't say he was dead exactly…just in a coma. Which is as good as dead.

"I said he was in a coma, not the same as dead." Foghorn squeezed him a little tighter and continued. "Think of it like this; some of those fancy cars go into a failsafe mode when something's wrong right? To protect themselves until they can get repaired? It's something like that."

"So he's OK?" Wakko asked while swiping at his eyes with his glove and hating the fact that he was starting to sniff. He was supposed to be trying to stay strong, not crying like some baby. Who was going to take care of Dot?

"Didn't say that either boy. It's touch and go right now," Foghorn said, using his free hand to tilt Wakko's head up to look at him. "Yakko got a bit of a brain swell with all the bouncing around and knocking into things. His body decided to shut down some higher functions for awhile to try to heal."

_Oh yeah that sounds loads better._

Wakko felt the weird lightheaded feeling come back for a second while Foghorn continued to talk. He really wanted to cry, harder than he already was but he bit it back, continuing to take deep breaths to calm down and trying not to remember every single mean thing he had ever said or done to his older brother.

He couldn't help it though and his head was reeling. He had been horrible to Yakko sometimes and he'd never be able to tell him he was sorry for some of the mean stuff he had said to him or all the trouble he sometimes caused. Yakko would never know how much he loved him because he never said it to him…well sometimes but it was really rare not all the time like Dot did even though Yakko told him pretty often. But Yakko would usually just show it more than say it because that's the way guys were. He loved his friends but he would never tell them that and it was the same with Yakko but he would tell him if he woke up right now. He would behave perfectly for the rest of his life if Yakko would wake up right now and he could tell him and-

"-and Yakko's young and healthy Wakko, you know that. Give him a chance to heal himself and let the doctors do their jobs before you get too upset OK? I shouldn't be telling you half this boy; Porky thought we should keep this quiet for now, but the doctors were straight with us and I don't like the idea of keeping it from you. Brain swelling is serious; putting all sorts of pressure on his nervous system right now. Until the swelling goes down it's gonna be iffy. We just need to stay positive and wait for the swelling to go down."

Wakko nodded and took the handkerchief Foghorn offered him to wipe his nose.

"So when it goes down he'll wake up? How long will that be?"

"Hard to say boy," Foghorn said while shifting him up higher on his hip. "Could be tomorrow, could be a few days. We don't know; when Yakko's ready he'll wake up. We just wait for him for as long as it takes. And everyone's waiting; you saw all those people out there sending him positive energy. Even ole Plotz was out there for once not ranting and raving about money and ratings. I talked to a few of the doctors, told him who we were. In a while we might be able to go and see Yakko for a few minutes."

Wakko nodded at that. He'd really like to see his brother, even if he was 'asleep'.

"What about Bugs?" Wakko asked.

He was worried about his brother, but he was also worried about the rabbit. After all, the rabbit had been the first one at the lot who was really nice to them and had helped them out a lot. If it hadn't been for Bugs he probably wouldn't have gotten as decent a tutor as Foghorn. He really should thank the rabbit for that one of these days. Hopefully he wasn't in a coma too.

"Bugs got knocked around quite a bit himself. Last time I saw him the doctors were threatening to sedate him because he was refusing to listen to them; wanted to go see your brother."

"You got to talk to him?"

_That's so unfair!_

"Only for a few – I say – only for a few minutes and only Porky and me. Half-wit hare was being a real pain to the doctors," Foghorn said with a dry laugh. "Threatened to report all of them; took me and Porky talking to him to get him back in the bed. Course I had to threaten to mallet him-"

Wakko chuckled at that mental image.

"Can we see him too?"

"Not until the morning; doctors want to keep him overnight, keep an eye on him. He was steaming about that, fussing he was fine in-between asking for painkillers and groaning about his back and demanding to be let loose to go see your brother." Foghorn looked down at him before adding, "Now before I take you in and see about letting you visit Yakko, he's not going to look real spiffy."

Wakko nodded. He remembered being in the hospital; poor Yakko would probably be in that stupid hospital gown too. Hardly the biggest concern at the moment though.

"He's gonna be hooked up to a few machines and have some bruises and cuts. He broke his collarbone-"

Wakko felt a catch in his throat. He was unconscious and he had broken bones? What else could happen to him?

"How'd that happen?" he breathed.

"Seatbelt. Don't look like that boy; belt did its job, held him tight in the car. Wasn't for that he mighta shot through the windshield like a rock in a slingshot."

True. Fine, he wouldn't complain that Foghorn wouldn't move the truck until he was belted in anymore. The thought of being shot through the windshield and becoming a slice of road pizza wasn't pleasant.

"We can't touch him or jostle him around much; boy's been through enough of that. We can talk to him though; let him know we're there."

"Is he even gonna know?" Wakko muttered. "If he can't hear us-"

"How you know he can't hear ya boy?" Foghorn said. "Even if he can't respond he may know you're there; probably make him feel better to know his family and friends are gathering around waiting for him to wake up."

That was true. And if there was any chance that Yakko could hear him he planned on saying a few things to his brother.

"If you're ready boy we'll go in and see him. I expect Porky and your sister are waiting for us."

Wakko nodded and rested his head on Foghorn's chest. He had only been running around the carnival a few hours ago and it felt like years. He'd never felt so weary in his life.

"Do you think he's gonna be OK Foghorn?" Wakko asked. Foghorn was usually pretty straight with him and he respected the rooster enough that he wanted his honest opinion.

"I'm not gonna lie – I say – I'm not gonna lie to you boy; I don't know. No one knows. There's no easy answer to that question. All I can promise you is that I'm gonna be here with you; help ya through this OK? And Porky too and all those other folk in that there room waiting and all the other people at home calling us. You and Dot aren't gonna go through this alone."

Wakko nodded. That was good to know anyway. He didn't know what he would do if he didn't have the big chicken there with him. He took him for granted too often as well; he made a mental note later to tell Foghorn how much he really appreciated him too.

But first he had to try to pull himself together. If they were going to go see Yakko, even if he was 'asleep' he didn't want to be crying and upset Dot.

XXXXXXXXXX

_This can't be happening. This can't be; that's not Yakko up on that bed in this bare room with all the beeping. Yakko should be sitting on the couch with us watching TV or reading me a story or starting to review a new script or even playing his guitar._

Dot tightened her grip on Porky's hand as she stood next to him looking at her brother, or what she could see of him on the tall white bed. She felt Porky give her hand a gentle squeeze. She wanted to run out the door screaming, she wanted to fall on Porky and start crying, she wanted to run across the room and jump on the bed and grab Yakko and just demand he wake up and go home with them.

Porky had taken her to another lounge to explain to her what was happening. He had told her that Yakko was resting. He had been hurt really bad in the accident but the doctors were doing everything they could to make sure he was comfortable until he was ready to wake up. Porky said though that they couldn't know when he would wake up. Porky had even said there was a chance that he might not wake up.

That scared her; how could he not wake up? Porky said the really deep sleep he was in right now was called a 'coma'. He said it was Yakko's body's way of making sure he would get the rest and healing time he needed so he could be healthy again. And the doctors were there and nurses were coming in and out making sure he was comfortable and safe.

Porky said they had to keep positive especially when they were around Yakko because even though he was in the coma he could still hear them maybe and he would be upset if she sat there and cried. Yakko wouldn't want that; he didn't want either her or Wakko upset so they should just talk to him and let him know they were there with him and were just going to wait for him to get ready to wake up. She could do that; Yakko did the same thing whenever she or Wakko was sick or hurt.

"R-R-Ready Dot?"

Dot looked up at Porky briefly, not liking the look on his face. Porky looked so sad right now; she wished she could do something to make him feel better. The pig had been trying so hard to make her feel better and he had been really patient when he was explaining what happened and what she should expect when he finally led her to the ICU wing.

He hadn't even gotten mad at her when she stomped her foot and demanded to see Yakko before breaking out in a fit of tears; he had just held her until she slowed down on her crying and talked to her, saying that he knew this was hard – it was hard for everyone. This morning Yakko had been happy and awake, busy trying to figure out an excuse to give Bugs on why he didn't do something and trying to make sure everyone ate breakfast and joking with everyone they came across. Hours later he was gone, lying in a hospital bed. Porky said he knew there was no time to adjust to any of this but he was going to be there for her and Wakko, just like everyone else was going to be there and he didn't want her scared or worried more than she needed to be.

He answered almost every question she asked about Yakko and Bugs. He said they weren't allowed to see Bugs tonight; he had been bad to the doctors and they made him go to bed early which had almost made her laugh. But he did say that if Bugs was feeling better tomorrow and the doctors said it was OK they could visit him. He might even be able to go home. She hoped so; she didn't want the rabbit in this cold scary place anymore than she wanted her brother in it.

Either of them. She hoped Foghorn got Wakko to eat and take his medicine. Wakko could be stubborn about things sometimes, even when he knew he had to eat and take the medicine or he would get sick. She really didn't want to visit him in the hospital too.

She glanced at her other brother briefly. Wakko was in Foghorn's arms currently, standing by Yakko's bed and gazing down at him with a forlorn expression on his face. She frowned; Wakko hadn't moved since he and Foghorn had walked to Yakko's bed; he had just sat in Foghorn's arms like a small stuffed animal.

Dot hesitantly began walking toward the bed, keeping a firm grip on Porky's hand, telling herself to just put one foot in front of the other because no matter what she couldn't run out of the room crying like she wanted to. Porky had said Yakko might not look very good right now because he was hurt and he might have a few things hooked up to him just to make sure he was OK. She hoped that Yakko just looked like he was sleeping. If he looked like he was sleeping then maybe she could just pretend he was sleeping and that he was going to wake up…

No, she couldn't do that. No matter what happened there was no way she could pretend this wasn't happening. Yakko had talked with her before about accepting reality and knowing the difference between fiction and fact. He said pretending was fun – like when she pretended to be a princess and owned a unicorn – but you had to come back to reality at some point. That was OK though; being Yakko's sister was a lot better than being a princess, even if the princesses got to wear prettier dresses and ride unicorns.

Nearing the bed she could see a few pieces of tubing but she couldn't tell what they were for, along with one of Yakko's ears sticking up. She hadn't realized the bed was so tall. Looking up in the bright room she winced slightly; there were a few lights over Yakko's bed on tracks. She could make out a few bags hanging from another track over Yakko's bed. Porky had said it was nutrients and painkillers and saline fluid to help Yakko because he couldn't eat or take any pills right now. That cheered her up a little; at least Yakko wouldn't be hungry though she didn't know how they were getting them into him.

She could hear Wakko talking quietly to Foghorn about something, then a bit louder him talking to Yakko about how much he missed him and that he loved him and hoped he woke up soon and that he promised to never ever cause any more trouble if he woke up right now.

As worried as she was about Yakko, she felt a bit of worry for Wakko as well. Her usually care-free brother looked close to crying. He glanced at her, offering her a tight smile before wiping at his eyes with both gloves and burying his face in Foghorn's neck while the rooster patted his back as his shoulders shook.

Dot swallowed hard; Wakko rarely cried unless he was in trouble so if he was crying Yakko must look really bad. Not wanting to look but knowing that she'd hate herself forever if she turned from both brothers right now she glanced up at Porky. The pig nodded and scooped her up in his arms so she could look down at Yakko.

She felt her breath catch in her throat and she wished she was back on the floor. She tightened her arms around Porky's neck in shock and ignored the muffled choking sound he made.

She had been warned he might not look good and she had been expecting lots of blink and gore and stuff. She relaxed slightly as she gazed down at him, trying to stay calm like Porky had said to so she could take it all in.

Yakko didn't look as bad as she had been expecting. He had a bunch of scary looking stuff hooked up to him though. Porky had warned her that Yakko would be hooked up to a few different machines. He said he wanted her to be prepared for what she would see so she wouldn't be scared but it didn't matter; she was still scared, more terrified than she had ever been in her life. She didn't think she was this scared when Wakko first got sick because then she knew if she went to Yakko he would fix it like he always was able to. This time there was no Yakko to fix anything and that frightened her and she felt a harsh stinging in her eyes as they started to well up.

_Breathe Dot, _she repeated to herself. _Just one breath at a time. OK. Look at the stuff hooked to Yakko; Porky said it was all to help him. These doctors__and nurses__were doing everything they could to help Yakko get better. Trust that they know what's good for him right now. And if you know it isn't as scary._

With that thought running through her head she looked at Yakko's face; he had a black eye. She could see the darkened skin underneath the white face fur but she knew that black eyes would heal eventually. Every now and then Wakko got one when he was playing football or something with his friends and the makeup artist would slather a white paste on his fur to cover it up.

There was clear tubing that ran from behind both his ears to his nose. Porky had told her he would be hooked up to oxygen. Not because he was having any trouble breathing but just in case he did it was there for him, being forced in his nose.

She studied it for a second; it wasn't really that scary. What was scary was the thought that Yakko might need it. If he did that would mean he wasn't getting better. She crossed her fingers hoping that he would never need it before looking down his body.

The sheet was pulled all the way up, but she could see something on his right shoulder - a beige-colored bandage holding his arm against his chest, making a big lump underneath the sheet. Porky had said Yakko had broken his collarbone and she had been expecting a cast. The bandage wasn't as bad.

The other tube, the thicker one she had seen running down from the ceiling track was in the top of his left hand, held there by a piece of white tape. There was a splint on his hand too; Dot guessed it was so he wouldn't inadvertently move it while he was sleeping and knock it out. She hoped it didn't hurt him too much.

Ignoring the quiet sobbing of Wakko and the soft murmurings of Foghorn Dot continued to look at Yakko. No, her oldest brother didn't look that bad considering what he had gone through. A few bits of darkening under his fur from bruises, a few tubes going in him. She had expected a lot worse; casts and bloody cuts. She had originally been hoping that he only looked like he was sleeping but this was worse. She almost expected him to open his eyes any second and sit up and tell her to relax because he was fine and they would all be going home soon.

Going home. Without Yakko. They wouldn't be allowed to stay all night would they? A small selfish part of her worried about what would happen to her and Wakko in the meantime. Would they be separated? Would the studio let them stay without Yakko? Wakko was older than her but he was no where near as old as Yakko; would he be allowed to be in charge because Yakko was hurt? She gasped as a horrible thought came to her; would the studio call TIS, have them taken away to a home until Yakko was better? And they wouldn't be allowed to stay together; girls and boys were separated, even brothers and sisters.

The thought was too much for Dot right now; Yakko was hurt and there was nothing she could do. She might be taken from Wakko, the only other family member she had. Looking at Yakko again, his face devoid of any emotion as he continued to sleep she felt her eyes swimming as her vision blurred. She couldn't even reach out and hold Yakko's hand; she couldn't reach it and she was afraid of hitting the IV and hurting her brother further.

Frustrated, exhausted, and frightened she wasn't able to hold back the ragged sob that echoed from her throat and she buried her face in Porky's neck, not even bothering to hide her crying. She felt Porky rubbing her back while telling her it was going to be OK and it was just going to take some time and they had to be patient.

After a few moments she heard the door behind them open and she felt Porky begin walking. Trying to wipe away the tears and gulping back the sobs still racking her body she could see Foghorn, still holding a quietly weeping Wakko heading towards them. Looking beyond Porky she could see a solemn looking human doctorquickly making his way across the room while looking at his watch. A pretty toon nurse who looked a lot like Lisa except with short dark hair and a clipboard in her hand came in behind him and headed towards Yakko's bed.

"Mr. Leghorn, Mr. Pig," he greeted in a quiet voice. "Visiting hours ended awhile ago."

"Dr. P-P-Paulson," Porky stammered quietly. "We w-w-wanted to bring the children in-"

"Please don't make us leave!" Dot said.

As soon as she spoke she regretted it; her voice sounded so rough. She saw Wakko's ears rise as he looked at her with his own watery eyes and felt Porky tighten his hold on her slightly. She couldn't blame him; she probably sounded deranged at the moment.

"I'm not going to make you leave," the doctor replied reaching out to cluck her under the chin.

Dot ignored the gesture and said, "We can stay with him?"

"Until he wakes up?" Wakko added hopefully.

"Yeah, Yakko would like it when he wakes up and if we're here waiting for him," Dot added, hoping she was pulling off a cute look.

She wasn't sure how cute she looked at the moment with snot and tears dripping down her face. She swiped at her face, hoping she was cleaning herself off enough to look adorable. Maybe the Doctor would fall for that.

"Well, maybe not that long," Dr. Paulson replied. "It could be awhile. Yakko needs his rest and there's going to be nurses coming in and out of his room checking on him."

Dot, who had been feeling slightly hopeful that they wouldn't be made to leave felt a bit of panic. They were going to have to leave after all. She shuddered to herself; the water tower wasn't going to feel the same without Yakko there. She wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway; he should just let them stay there with Yakko.

After a second the Doctor continued to speak.

"Tell you what," he said, making a gesture for the Nurse to come over. "You can stay with Nurse MacNeille while she checks on your brother for a moment. I need to speak to Mr. Pig and Mr. Leghorn."

Dot relaxed a bit as Porky nodded and gently lowered her to the floor. To her left she saw Foghorn doing the same with Wakko.

"Gentleman, let's step outside for a moment," Dr. Paulson said. "Mr. Plotz is also outside and wishes to speak to you."

"Highlight of my evening," Foghorn muttered and Wakko let out a small giggle.

Dot looked at him before grabbing his hand, wanting some sort of contact with her one awake family member. Wakko didn't like having his hand held usually but right now he didn't seem to mind. He gave her a squeeze before leading her over to Yakko's bed while the nurse gave them a small smile.

"Why's he got that? Can't he breathe?" Wakko asked, pointing to the oxygen tubes in Yakko's nose.

"The oxygen?" the Nurse replied. "Well, in Yakko's case we need to make sure he gets a steady flow of oxygen to his brain. I'm checking his ICP right now."

"What's that?" Dot asked.

"Intracranial Pressure," she said. The Nurse glanced at her briefly before continuing. "This records it for us so we can monitor the pressure in Yakko's head. We don't want any additional swelling to choke off the blood carrying oxygen to his brain."

"Why?"

Dot listened to the Nurse explain what she was doing in basic terms so she and Wakko could understand and she felt a lot of respect for the woman. She knew what she was doing, seemed happy to answer any of their questions in her soft lilting voice and seemed to have an unlimited amount of patience.

Dot relaxed a bit more. Things were grim but at least Yakko was getting the best care available. She hoped he woke up soon. She glanced over at Wakko who was straining on his toes to look up at Yakko, barely listening to the Nurse as he simply gazed at Yakko with a tight expression.

_Please wake up Yakko_, she thought as she reached up and touched Yakko's blanket briefly. _You're too special to us to leave this early and we won't make it without you…_

XXXXXXXXXX

August 20, 1994

Wakko jerked his head as he awoke and groggily looked around and tried to remember why he was sleeping in an ugly plastic chair and leaning against a gently snoring Foghorn before the previous day came crashing into his head.

_Yakko. The hospital. Bugs. Accident. Coma._

Damn. So much for hoping it was a very bad dream.

He glanced over at the clock, having to sit up straighter because of Foghorn's arm wrapped around his shoulders and saw it was already four-forty-five in the morning. Already twelve hours here and no word updating them on Yakko's condition.

Wakko began gently chewing on his lip, wincing at the slight burning sensation. It wasn't really a surprise; he had been chewing on it all night. Gnawing at his lip and feeling a moment of worry he looked around, finally managing to wiggle from under Foghorn's arm while rubbing at the sleep that had encrusted in the corners of his eyes.

He looked around for a moment, feeling guilty for having fallen asleep; some word could have come in about Yakko and he was sleeping. He hoped that Foghorn or someone would have woken him up though so he pushed the feelings of guilt aside. After all, Foghorn was asleep too.

He noticed that some of the others that were still in the room had dozed off as well. Mickey was still in the room, sitting on the other side of Foghorn dozing. So was Dr. Scratchansniff; Wakko raised his eyebrows in surprise; he was surprised that the Doctor was there. He knew Scratchy was a doctor, but he wasn't the type of doctor that could actually do anything; he just sat around and talked a lot. There were a few other toons sitting around him but since Wakko didn't know who they were he pushed them from his mind.

Wakko turned his head as he heard a harshly muttered conversation to see Daffy and Sylvester, who had arrived hours ago, playing a card game on a small Formica table.

Wakko started a bit as the door opened and Donald Duck came in, holding several cans of orange juice. He guessed the duck must have arrived sometime after he had fallen asleep. He watched as Donald handed Daffy and Sylvester cans of juice before he began to angrily pace in front of the door to the lounge while guzzling his own can.

Wakko sat straight up and stretched, hearing the bones in his neck and tail crack before looking towards the television in the far corner. He saw Porky sitting in one chair wearily watching the television, occasionally turning his head slightly to say something to Slappy who looked grumpier than usual. In her lap Skippy was sound asleep.

Feeling a moment of worry Wakko nimbly jumped down from his chair, wondering where Dot was and cursing himself for falling asleep. He needed to stay awake just to make sure she was OK. Moving silently towards the corner he felt his panic melt away. Dot was curled up in Porky's lap; he just had missed her the first time because he couldn't see around Skippy's big bushy tail.

Grumbling about stupid squirrels not keeping their bushy-bushy bon hairdos under control he looked at his sister. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or not; her face was buried in Porky's chest as he wearily watched the television.

Part of Wakko hoped she was asleep; it had been a long rough night and not getting any rest wasn't going to do her any good. He was as worried about her as he was about Yakko.

Another part of him – a small selfish part - was desperately hoping she was awake. He didn't mind a little quiet but right now it was almost overwhelming. If he was talking to her he could not only assure himself that she was doing alright under the circumstances but he also wouldn't have to concentrate on his own thoughts like if Yakko was going to wake up in a few minutes, or hours, or ever… Normally Dot could cheer him up, slightly anyway. He didn't know if he did her much good in the 'cheering up' section; that was normally Yakko's department.

Maybe he could make up another lame story for her; she seemed to like the last one well enough even if she could see that half of it was crap.

Reaching her he ignored Porky and Slappy's inquiring looks; he wanted to see his sister, was that so odd?

"Dot?" He asked quietly while reaching out to touch her hand.

"Think she's asleep kiddo," Slappy said quietly while shifting Skippy higher on her lap.

"S-S-She's been sleeping," Porky added. "You s-s-should be too-"

"No, I'm awake," Dot mumbled, finally turning her face from Porky's chest to look at Wakko with a tired smile. "I woke up a few minutes ago," she added with a yawn.

Pushing herself off of Porky she slid to the floor ungracefully, almost landing in a heap at Wakko's feet. He took a few steps forward to steady her while she rubbed at her eyes.

Wakko breathed a sigh of relief. Other than looking incredibly tired and sad Dot seemed OK. And he didn't have to feel bad about falling asleep; she had too.

"Can we go see Yakko?" Dot asked quietly. "He might have woken and-"

"N-N-Not right now Dot," Porky said, putting his hand on her head briefly. "If anything h-h-happens, the Doctor will let us know."

"He better," Slappy muttered darkly while tightening her grip on her cane. "I got a whole hammerspace full of bombs and unlimited areas on where I can stick-"

"That'll do Slappy," Porky sighed. "Don't give them ideas p-p-please. Are you two h-hungry?"

Wakko shook his head no while Dot did the same. He hadn't wanted to eat the crackers last night and he was pretty sure that with the way he was feeling anything he ate now wouldn't stay put anyway. He hoped Dot ate something last night; she was too tiny not to eat for long. He shrugged; Porky watched after her as well as Foghorn did him. He was reasonably sure Porky would have gotten something in her.

Wakko turned his head at his name being called and saw Foghorn, now awake and waving at him to come back over. Trying to refrain from rolling his eyes Wakko started to walk back toward him as Dot grabbed his hand, falling in step beside him.

"D-D-Don't leave the room please," Porky called quietly.

"I won't," Dot said, turning her head briefly to give him a small smile.

Wakko let go of her hand to put his arm around her shoulder as they continued to walk toward Foghorn.

"You check your blink boy?" Foghorn asked quietly.

"Not yet," Wakko answered, casting a glance toward the still snoozing Mickey. He was glad Foghorn was still being discrete, but he just woke up after an awful night and he wanted to check on his sister and there wasn't a ton of privacy in the lounge right now anyway. Of course he hadn't bothered to check it.

"Let's do it now so I can – I say – so I can at least be assured that-"

"I'm fine Foghorn-"

"Let's do it anyway Wakko," Dot said quietly. "Then we can sit and talk and not worry about it."

Wakko sighed, looking at her face. In Yakko's absence she was turning the pleading face on him it seemed. Unfortunately he could be just as big a sucker for it as Yakko was because he just nodded his head, resigned. It did need to be done and she was right; if he checked it and took care of anything he didn't have to worry about it later.

Foghorn seemed to sense that he had won because he shot a grateful look to Dot before standing and placing his hand on Wakko's back to steer him toward the door.

"Fine, we'll wander – I say – we'll wander down the hall. Bathrooms down there, you can-"

"No! Don't leave!" Dot said harshly while throwing her arms around him. "Please stay in here Wakko! Don't go!"

"Dot!" he exclaimed, almost toppling over with her full weight being thrown on him. He turned to look at her while trying to carefully pry her arms from around him. "Look, I'm not going anywhere!! Promise! I just don't-"

"Please don't leave!" she said again in a panicked voice. Looking around wildly for a moment she pointed. "Look we can sit in the corner and you can do it OK?"

Wakko assumed he must have had a weird look on his face because she continued to talk in an almost frantic voice.

"I don't even care that you're being silly! Look, I'll stand in front of you with my arms wide so no one will see-"

"Yeah, that won't attract attention," he muttered. Looking at her face again he sighed and added, "Fine, let's go over in the corner."

_Hope she appreciates this_, Wakko thought with a slight scowl.

He had struggled with keeping his 'problem' secret and out of plain sight and she was here practically begging him to just do it in front of some of the biggest stars around. He might as well just stand on the table and inject himself while he was at it. He still had no idea why he was being so secretive about it; maybe he should just do like Dot had suggested and come out in the open with it. With the way the gossips and paparazzi were, at some point it was bound to come out.

Glancing around he noticed that while Dot's outburst had initially turned some heads, most everyone had gone back to their prior activities. Foghorn accepted a cup of coffee from a recently arrived Betty Boop, who gave him and Dot a smile before beginning to talk to the chicken and Mickey, who was struggling to wake up.

Wakko listened to her for a minute; Sonic had just arrived at the hospital, being wheeled in by a few orderlies while complaining about his ankle. Apparently he hadn't seen a pothole and had careened right into it while running down South Beaudry Avenue. Ms. Boop also told Foghorn that a cop had followed Sonic to the hospital and was busy writing him a ticket for jaywalking.

Wakko almost snickered at the irony; guess he wouldn't be 'the fastest thing around' right now. He almost wished Buster was there; the rabbit would be drooling all over the poor guy's cast while begging for an autograph.

With a final nod at Foghorn, who told him not to leave the room Wakko grasped Dot's hand again and went to the far corner, out of direct eyeshot of everyone. They could check his blink then talk, laugh…cry, without being spotted.

Hopefully.

Helping Dot hop up into a chair he settled into the one next to her. With a furtive look around he pulled out his meter and quickly pricked his finger. Looking at the result he met Foghorn's eye and nodded; OK for the moment, but he was going to need his shot and something to eat soon.

Foghorn returned the nod and went back to his conversation while Wakko put his meter away and looked around. No one had even glanced at them. Dot was right; he was being silly.

Glancing at her he saw that her head was down, her chin almost resting on her chest and the large purple bow tying her ears together was so loose it was about to fall off. He reached over to retie it. She liked that bow; Yakko had bought it for her a few weeks ago at some little shop near a bookstore they always went to, she'd be heartbroken if she lost it, especially right now. She didn't even look up at him; she just sat there like a broken down doll.

Thinking about Yakko brought a tight feeling to his chest. Not wanting to cry and upset her further he looked around the room instead, hoping to find something interesting to talk about for a few minutes.

His eyes finally settled upon Daffy and Sylvester, still engrossed in their card game and lisping at each other. Both older toons turned briefly at his stare and looked at him quizzically. Wakko bowed his head for a moment, embarrassed at being caught staring at them. When he looked up again both toons waved at him and he waved back, thankful that he hadn't angered them.

"Hey," he said quietly, waiting until she looked up at him. "You think both of them spraying spittle they wouldn't sit so close to each other."

Dot turned her head to watch the card game for a moment before giving out a quiet giggle.

Wakko smiled to himself; at least he was making her laugh.

Leaning against him, Dot asked, "How are you doing?"

Raising his eyebrows at her he said, "I was about to ask you the same thing. I'm fine. My blink level's OK, Foghorn will force another package of crackers or something down my throat, and then I'll-"

"That's not what I mean Wakko and you know it," Dot said quietly while looking at him. "How are you, with…" she trailed off before waving her hand around. "With all this? Everything going on."

"Numb," he answered.

It was as good an answer as any. He always felt numb coming to the hospital, regardless of why they were there. Whenever he had to go he tried to push any emotions aside; he had to be there because Yakko would probably drag him by the ears if he refused to go. He showed up, sat through whatever test they wanted him to do and tried to leave as soon as possible. He tried to think of it like his English tutoring; the quicker he got in and got it done, the quicker he could leave. It didn't stop a certain amount of sulking and whining; at least with the English tutor there was still a chance that they might get rid of Flameil. Someday.

"Numb," Dot repeated. "Normally I'd smack at you for such a dumb comment, but this time I think it fits."

_Thanks sis._

"Numb," she said again, rolling the word around in her mouth. "Devoid of emotion." Sighing and almost crawling in his lap as she cuddled closer to him she said, "I want to cry. I'm worried about him, and about you-"

"I'm fine," Wakko insisted.

"-and there's nothing I can do about it," she continued as if he had said nothing. "I listened to the nice Nurse earlier, and what the Doctor was saying, and what Porky said, and there's nothing anyone can do. All we can do is sit around here and wait. And I think that's what hurts most."

Wakko nodded. One of the reasons he felt numb; there was nothing else to feel right now. A combination of helplessness, frustration and shock, not to mention he was simply cried out at the moment had left him drained of just about any feelings except a slight case of worry and a feeling of inadequacy.

Especially now, with Dot looking up at him. Sure she was saying she was OK and just numb like him, but her face was saying otherwise; she had the look she usually reserved for Yakko, except now she was giving it to him, like she expected him to make everything better.

He snorted to himself; she probably wanted him to make Yakko better so Yakko could go and fix everything for her. Yakko might say that being the oldest was hard sometimes but it was no picnic being the second oldest either.

Finally Dot turned her head, thankfully taking her eyes off him to watch Daffy and Sylvester continue to argue and lisp quietly while Donald continued his frenzied pacing in front of the door, every now and then stopping to bat at something invisible in front of his face while squawking.

Wakko frowned at him; he had met Foulmouth a few times while he was hanging out with Buster and the others. According to Plucky he didn't have a lot of friends; not only was the boy a bit of a bull and a braggart, he had a disease called 'Tourette's' and it sometimes scared people off.

Wakko had managed to find out it was some neuro…neuro… He shrugged; it was like a brain disorder or something like that. He couldn't remember the name of it but he did know that the guy had the more rare form that caused him to swear uncontrollably at times and say really bizarre stuff, earning him the nickname 'Fowlmouth' instead of people calling him his given name of 'Humphrey'.

Max and Calamity felt the same way Wakko did about him though; they didn't really care for him either. A bully and a braggart, he was also quick enough to point out other people's flaws and conditions while ignoring the fact that he had some himself.

He wondered if Donald had the same condition; it would explain all the facial and body tics.

"What's gonna happen Wakko?" Dot said quietly while watching the game. "To us I mean."

"Nothing," Wakko said. "Yakko'll come to any minute-"

"Stop saying that Wakko," she snapped. "No one knows that! You don't know that anymore than the doctor's do. For all I know he'll be there until I'm old enough to drive."

"I can't not say it Dot," Wakko sighed. "Saying anything else is like giving up. Yakko's never given up on us; how can I do that to him?"

"I know," she muttered while curling closer to him, folding her knees under her. "But think about it Wakko. Let's say if – if he doesn't wake up or…" After a pause she continued. "Porky said he might…be different or something even if he wakes up…"

When she started to tear up again and choked off Wakko quickly put his arm around her. So much for feeling numb; she was as weepy and depressed as she was before.

"He said might," Wakko pointed out. "Pauly Shore might make a good movie, but the odds of that happening are slim too." After re-thinking that comment for a moment and seeing her face he said, "Never mind; scratch that."

At her eye roll and giggle he added with a sigh, "Look Dot, I'm trying but I'm not good at offering the witty sayings like Yakko is." He started to slide off his chair. "I just wanted to check on you. I'm just not good at any of the-"

"What do you mean?" Dot snapped at him while grabbing his collar. "Of course you are!"

"Not really," he answered with a shrug and trying not to gasp as his shirt started to cut off air. "I know my limitations. Right now if the tables were turned Yakko would be out here cracking out jokes and making you laugh and feel better-"

"Wakko, you make everyone feel better whether you try or not," she said while rolling her eyes. "If I didn't think you could make me feel better I would have stayed curled up in Porky's lap. I was waiting for you to wake up because I knew as soon as you did I would feel better. You just have that effect on people."

"Look who's talking," he said with a slight smirk. "Normally you're singing and dancing and running around talking to everyone trying to cheer them up like some pint-sized Pollyanna."

"Don't call me that," she scowled. "I hate that movie. Besides, it's still different. I have to try and right now I don't have it in me; how can I make anyone else feel better when I feel like this myself? You just walk in and with your own goofy charm manage to do it." With a soft laugh she said, "The first thing you did when you woke up was check on me, before you even bothered to check on yourself, or did you forget about Foghorn making you check your blink?"

Actually he had forgotten about it, something he hadn't done in awhile. Every now and then he forgot but Yakko always remembered. Yakko had come up with a system; for the most part he let Wakko handle his own checks, but he had to keep notes about it. At the end of every week Yakko sat down with him to go over the readings and that was on top of the spot checks he still insisted he do, 'just in case' he always said.

"And that cheers me up a little," Dot added, putting her arms around his waist as he resumed his seat. "No matter what happens I know if Yakko's not there, you will be. Even when Yakko is there you are too, even though you're usually burping and trying to show me the clump of wax you just pulled out of your ear."

_Boy, she's putting her money on the wrong pony,_ Wakko thought as he winced as she tightened the hug. He could barely remember to check his own blink half the time; there wasn't a hope in hell he'd be able to do half the stuff Yakko had done in his lifetime.

"And I'm not giving up on Yakko," Dot said quietly. "If there's any hope someone's going to pull out of this, he will. I'm just scared, you know, until that happens…what are they going to do with us? You and me? They're not going to let us stay here are they? Even when you were in here they wouldn't let me and Yakko stay; they made us go home and you were awake and feeling better then. But now…"

Something that had also been bothering him.

"I've got hope they'll let us stay at the tower until Yakko wakes up and comes home," Wakko said slowly as he thought about it. "I wanted to ask Foghorn, and a few times I almost did, but…" After a second he said, "I was just sort of afraid of the answer. I figured until it was mentioned that we had to leave, I'd just sort of wait and see what happened."

He had been thinking about that a lot. Maybe he was being selfish, but he didn't want to be anywhere but at the hospital so he could hear immediately when Yakko came to. And he knew that if he stayed Dot would probably want to stay too. But she needed to go home and change her clothes and she'd probably sleep better in her own bed even if not having anyone at the tower would be dangerous and she was way too little to stay by herself.

Everyone said he was too but he was pretty sure everyone was wrong; he wasn't that young; he was going to be ten soon, that was old enough right? Yakko was pretty much raising all of them when he was Wakko's age right now, he could do it too right?

Probably not. Yakko was way smarter than him, he knew that.

"Porky said the studio wouldn't let us stay by ourselves," Dot said. Her voice rising in a slight bit of panic she said, "He said even you were too little-"

Wakko scowled at that statement. Everyone always said he was too young for anything. Instead of whining about it like he usually did he tried to concentrate on Dot who was starting to get herself worked up again.

"and the…you don't think the studio will call TIS do you? Separate us?" Tears leaking down her face she clutched his jacket and wailed, "I don't want to leave you Wakko! I don't want to lose both brothers!"

"Dot calm down!" he hissed while hugging her back and trying to ignore the looks they were getting. "I don't want to lose you either! Look, I wouldn't let anyone take you away; remember I told you I attacked that woman with a fork when she tried to take you?"

_Even though they ended up taking you anyway…and Yakko got you back…_

"You think I'd let anyone just separate us, put us in one of those home places again?" Hugging her tighter he added, "Look, I'm not smart like Yakko and I can't do half the stuff he can but I promise I won't let anyone take you away."

"I'm not worried about them taking me away," Dot sniffed.

Wakko winced as he saw all the boogers bubbling around her nostrils. Normally he'd take delight in pointing that out to her; she would immediately rush off to look in a mirror to fix whatever he said she had on her face. Sometimes he said she had something there even if she didn't just to see her run off then hear her howl 'Wakko you butthole' at him while he laughed.

This time he decided to not point it out; he reached into his pocket and grabbed a crumpled napkin instead. It smelled like the funnel cake he had at the carnival and was probably coated in sugar but he figured she'd prefer that to having her picture taken by someone with stuff all over her face. Girls got really funny about that.

Taking the proffered napkin Dot began dabbing at her face delicately while saying, "You're just as smart as Yakko, just sometimes you're smarter in different ways."

"No I'm not," Wakko said. "I mean yeah, I can cause way more trouble than he could, but I don't know if that's smarter or not."

_Lots more fun, but not really smarter._

"Sure you are," Dot insisted, waving the napkin at him while he tried to refrain from pulling away from her. "Yakko said before he was jealous of you sometimes."

_No way._

"Really?" Wakko asked, wanting to hear this and at the same time feeling bad he was having his six-year-old sister giving him a pep talk in the middle of a family crisis. "What's he jealous of me for? He's smart, funny, popular with-"

"He said you're fearless, though he said sometimes that wasn't always the smartest move, then it was just reckless. But he said you always acted."

"Maybe," Wakko said. "But it's not always the smartest move. Like when-"

"Like when you snuck around and stole a file to get me back," Dot said. "Yakko told me about that one night. He said he didn't listen to you and he was sitting around feeling bad and trying to figure out how to find out where I was, he said you sprang into action and got it even though you knew you were gonna get in a lot of trouble."

"Yakko would have found a way to get it anyway."

"But that's just it; Yakko said by the time he did figure out a way to get it I might have been somewhere else! He said your acting – even though he told you not to do anything – actually helped. And he said you were always the one to make friends quickest because people like being around you and that's why you're always so popular. That's why those magazines always like to talk to you and that's why you and those other goofballs get to do commercials and stuff."

"That and I've got really popular friends."

"And Yakko said he always wished he could do that; he said he likes his friends like I like mine but it took us a lot longer to meet them and you've got way more of them."

"That's only because they were available first – ouch!"

Wakko cut off as Dot took one of her hands from around his waist and smacked his ear. Rubbing the base he glared at her.

"You just want to argue with me. Seriously, Yakko always said you were a great big brother, even though you can be a real pain for a little brother sometimes."

_That's true,_ Wakko thought. He was pretty sure whenever Yakko started to go grey, he'd be about seventy-five percent responsible for it.

"And you're funny and really talented; I only wish I could play the piano as well as you! Yakko said that too; no matter how much he practices he said he'll never get anywhere as good as you are now and he knows that. He said he was jealous because you play several instruments really good now and you just keep getting better while all he can do is play the guitar and muddle his way through piano. Don't you remember you had to help us when we did 'Piano Rag' because neither one of us could get it right?"

Wakko nodded, remembering. He had wondered if they were ever going to get the short filmed because Yakko and Dot were having so many problems with it. It had worked out though; he helped them and in return, Dot had helped him with the extra chores he had.

And Yakko had looked the other way during Dot helping him with the extra chores because he had been grounded again and hadn't even said no when Wakko had wanted to watch a movie. In fact he had been the one to suggest it and Wakko knew when Yakko suggested they all watch a movie it meant he was effectively off being grounded.

He loved Yakko's punishment techniques; pronounce a punishment, then somehow manage to reduce said punishment by offering some sort of deal. It was rare when Wakko was actually punished as long as Yakko originally pronounced. Yakko offered more bargains than a mall on Black Friday.

"Hey, I'm not the only talented one around," Wakko said as Dot lapsed into silence. "Who's the one that taught me half the dance numbers huh? And Yakko too."

"That's only because you and Yakko goof around during rehearsals," Dot laughed quietly. "You're both good dancers if you settle down enough and pay attention and actually practice instead of sitting around discussing the best way to beat Sonic and Pac-Man."

"Yeah, we have to practice," Wakko grumbled with a small smirk. "It just comes naturally to you, same with cheering everyone up whether you think it does or not. In your own way you're the most talented of all of us. I saw you in Yakko's room earlier; you were listening to that Nurse. I mean really listening; you understood what she was talking about. Me? All I heard was that Yakko's hurt and he may wake up or he may not. I didn't understand half of what she was saying and I didn't care. I just want him better; I don't care how they do it."

"I understand," Dot sighed while resting her head on his shoulder. "You spend so much time here already actually being the patient and having all this shoved at you that you just don't want to hear anymore." Dot shook her head. "I like hearing some of it, like Nurse MacNeille talking about what she was doing. Oh, I know she wasn't telling me everything; I'm getting used to that though, even though it's really not fair. I'm old enough to hear everything now-"

Wakko snorted quietly at hearing Dot whine the same tune he usually did whenever someone wasn't telling him everything he wanted to hear. Yakko had said sometimes he was too young to hear everything and one day he would totally fill him in. Wakko wondered when that day would arrive.

"-but getting some of the information isn't bad. If I know what they're doing, and I know that they know what they're doing, it's not as scary. And Nurse MacNeille seemed to know what she was doing, and she said Doctor Paulson was the best pedi-peada-…best kid's trauma doctor around. It's still really scary though."

"Pediatrics, and yeah, it's still really scary," Wakko agreed. Seeing her face he added, "But see; I didn't even bother to try to figure out if he got a good doctor, if the doctor even cares, or the nurses…you did; you think things through more. I just act sometimes and don't really think of anything. Who's the one that decided to sneak off lot? Who is the one always getting into trouble? Hey, who helped hijack a golf cart?"

"Who's the one that's got the most friends to get into trouble with?" Dot asked before sighing sadly. "Every time you leave the lot you get attention without even trying. I just about have to beg for it and even then no one pays attention to me. I don't think I'm that interesting to many people."

Wakko frowned and said, "I think you're interesting, don't I count?" Seeing her start to speak he added, "Hey, Yakko obviously thinks you're pretty interesting too or he wouldn't care where you go or who you're with or if you wear that helmet when you're riding a horse of what you eat or-"

"You two have to, you're family."

"Doesn't matter," Wakko said as he shook his head. "How many people have other members of their own family that they don't think are interesting huh? We've got someone in our family that doesn't care what happens to us and then we've got Yakko who would swear off girls permanently if we begged long enough."

Wakko thought about that a second; Yakko really liked girls. "Well, maybe not that, but I bet he'd try to for awhile. Maybe."

"But-"

Wakko kept talking; he was on a roll and Dot was starting to look convinced. Maybe this 'doting attention giving big brother' thing wasn't so hard after all.

"And plenty of other people think you're pretty interesting; look at Porky? Yakko said he already offered to have your birthday party at his house again and that's like three months away! I don't even know what I'm going to ask for this year, let alone where I want it! And what about Ms. Cunningham? She's gone through all sorts of hoops to get you off lot so you can have riding lessons and you can see Molly. Bet she wouldn't have done that for just anyone. And now; she was down here earlier and she even asked if you wanted to come home with her and Molly and Kit even though you said no and Plotz said no way in-"

"Still doesn't matter," Dot said while crossing her arms in front of her in what he thought was supposed to be a pout. The small grin playing around the corners of her lips told him it wasn't a real pout though so he had no real cause to be concerned yet. He had seen her pouts enough to know when he needed to be worried.

"You still get to do other things with your friends. Those silly magazines the other girls read follow you and that dumb bunny around-"

"Hey, that dumb bunny's my friend!"

"-and those other goofballs too. Plus you get to do a commercial with them and-"

"I don't like the attention; it gets in the way when I'm causing some new bit of trouble," he added with a grin. "Trust me, sooner or later those dumb reporters are going to figure out how interesting you really are then you're not going to be able to get rid of them and then you'll be crying about how they follow you all over the place no matter what you're doing."

"You really think?" Dot asked hopefully.

"Of course," Wakko insisted. "They notice you now anyway; you've been appearing more and more in articles and stuff; Yakko's gonna need a whole scrapbook just for you soon you know."

He wasn't exactly sure why the reporters always hounded him and Yakko but tended to leave Dot alone so much. When this crisis was over he really needed to see about changing that. Not only would it make Dot feel really special if she got to do an interview or something by herself, it would get the reporters off his own back for awhile.

Plus the guys would probably love him for it; well, Plucky might not. If they weren't trying to sneak around and cause some sort of trouble or do something they weren't supposed to be doing Plucky loved the attention like the damn prima-donna he was and Max didn't give a crap one way or the other, but Buster didn't like it. If Wakko could find some way to get them off their backs for awhile they'd probably be quite happy. It was a win-win situation all around.

Besides, Dot really did deserve more attention than she sometimes got;

"And hey, I still think you're pretty special," Wakko added while putting his arm around her shoulders. "Who else told me what was going on with Yakko's Doctor huh? At least now I know Yakko's got the best doctor he could get. Thanks for letting me know that. I'll sleep a lot better now."

He wouldn't sleep any easier and he hoped that didn't sound sarcastic; he wasn't trying to be. He hadn't really paid that much attention to the Nurse or the Doctor.

They both seemed nice, especially the Doctor but Wakko had thought he seemed too jovial. The man had patted him on the head when he left the room, telling him to make sure to take his insulin and to keep an eye on his sister. Wakko had a feeling that the man was trying to be nice and keep everyone strong. Wakko had just been annoyed with the head pat and the fact that the man couldn't just wave a wand and make Yakko wake up.

"I just hope we can sleep in the same place," Dot mumbled.

"I'll talk to Foghorn later," Wakko said. "He and Porky seem to be the ones that have temporary charge of us; remember TP told us to just listen to them."

"Actually Mr. Plotz said that to me. He said that he hoped you wouldn't run around and be a pain in everyone's-"

"You two – I say – you two OK here?"

Wakko jumped slightly as the large shadow of Foghorn enveloped him and Dot.

Wakko nodded before asking, "Any word on Yakko? Or Bugs?"

"Not yet boy; hopefully soon though," Foghorn replied while holding his hand out to him. After a second he turned, exchanged a nod with Porky and held his other hand out for Dot. "Come on little miss, you come with us. We're all gonna get some grub. Can't have you two just eating your meals from vending machines. When we come back maybe Bugs'll be up we can see him. That's if the lippy hare doesn't make the doctorsmad again."

_That's too bad_, Wakko thought while taking Foghorn's hand after Dot crawled down from the chair. For all his fussing last night, the crackers hadn't been too bad. Now Foghorn was going to make him eat something healthy and undoubtedly boring. The rooster never played around with food, and with Wakko's 'problem' he usually played even less. Sure, he'd look the other way if Wakko ate too much funnel cake every now and then, but he was always worried about the glucose level and checking everything afterwards.

Sure it was nice Foghorn was worried but really he already had Yakko riding his ass enough about it. Wakko let out a small sigh; he hoped Yakko woke up soon so he could ride his ass about that. About anything.

But Dot said Yakko had the best doctor around. That had to help; it sure couldn't hurt. Yeah, hopefully Yakko's Doctor could help him and he'd be awake this afternoon. Then they wouldn't have to worry about Yakko at all, and all the worrying about what was going to happen to him and Dot would be for nothing.

End Chapter 26


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 27 – The Adults

August 20, 1994

"Damn doctor's slipped me a Mickey!"

"B-B-Bugs! Language! T-T-The children!" Porky hissed.

Dot giggled for a moment at Bugs' look as he shot Porky a glare and Mickey Mouse, who was also in the crowded room, looked at him and muttered 'very funny'. Behind her she could hear Wakko saying Bugs could dish it out, but he couldn't take it and then Foghorn hushing him.

Dot shifted in Porky's arms; once again there were so many people in the room that unless she and the other smaller children were picked up they would be crushed in all the feet and tails. She didn't mind though; she was tired. All night at the hospital and now all day and no word on Yakko; nothing had changed. And there had been some talk about her and Wakko being made to leave; she had overheard Ms. Cunningham and Lisa talking before.

She had thrown a tantrum, enough of one that Porky had taken her from the room for awhile to talk to her and calm her down. Foghorn had done the same to Wakko too, so she wasn't the only one that got scolded. She had been really mad and confused; the studio people were there at the hospital talking to people from UPS. They all went out and had a press conference and she and Wakko hadn't been allowed to go. They hadn't even been allowed to watch it.

She couldn't go see Yakko when she wanted; something about they could only see him during visiting hours and when the nurses weren't doing stuff. She couldn't leave the room when she wanted – not that she wanted to leave really, because she didn't want to be alone, but even if she had wanted to be she couldn't.

She had tried to talk to Porky about what was going to happen to her and Wakko; she knew her brother had tried to talk to Foghorn too, but all she had gotten was a pat on the head and was told that they would discuss it later. So now she had that to worry about that too.

Wakko was being a brat and fighting about eating and snapping at people because they wouldn't tell him anything even though he knew that if he didn't eat he would get sick. He told her not to worry about it when she pointed that out.

No one was telling her anything either.

Wakko was right about one thing; being young sucked sometimes.

Porky returned Bugs' glare with the long hard look Dot had seen him use on her a few times when she tried to give him some story about why she hadn't studied for something, or if she tried to whine her way out of doing an assignment. It made her uncomfortable when Porky did it and it seemed to make Bugs uncomfortable too because he cleared his throat and nodded.

"You been in there yet?" He asked quietly.

Porky nodded and said, "F-f-few minutes ago. The doctors won't let anyone b-b-but family in right now."

"I'm practically family. They better let me in." Bugs muttered, crossing his arms as he slumped back against the pillows behind him. "They thought I was a pain last night…Where's that nurse? Thought I was getting out of here soon."

"She's probably scared to come back in here after listening to you complaining," Daffy said from the corner of the room where he was leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. Glancing at Sylvester he added, "The great Bugs Bunny, the calm, cool and collected one, unofficial mascot of the most important studio on the planet-"

"Hey! I resent that!" Mickey snapped.

"-sulking in his room because he got sent to bed early for throwing a tantrum like a duckling," Daffy finished drawling.

"Glad I can count on you for support Daff," Bugs muttered before turning a glare to him. "Why are you in here again? I thought my visitors were supposed to be friends trying to cheer me up."

"Cram it you long-eared whiner, you're leaving soon," Daffy lisped while spraying Mickey in the back of the head with spittle and earning himself another glare. "Why do you think I'm still here? Someone's got to drive you. You're staying at my place for a few days by the way."

"You think I'm leaving this place you're out of your feathered mind," Bugs snapped.

"Be reasonable Bugs. You need rest before you can handle anything else," Mickey stammered while wiping the back of his head. "Look, you don't want to stay with him, you're always welcome at my place-"

"Thanks doc, but I tell ya I ain't going-"

"Zip it Bunny," Daffy said. "Outta your gloved hands. For once I'm in charge-"

Dot almost covered her ears at the loud groans that echoed around the room at Daffy's statement.

"World's going to hell in a handbasket now," Bugs muttered.

"B-B-Bugs!" Porky snapped.

"Yeah, I know Pork, language," Bugs waved his hand at him with a sigh.

Dot almost giggled again. Usually Bugs didn't swear; she had seen him chastising a few of the boys around the lot about their language before, including Wakko. He must be like Yakko; he'd let a few words slip here and there when he was really angry or frustrated.

"Count your blessings Bunny," Daffy continued. "You'll stay at my place and for once have me waiting on you hand and foot without a single complaint because you can barely walk right now. You should feel honored."

"I ain't leaving."

"And I thought Donald was unreasonable," Mickey said while everyone laughed.

_It's really funny to see Bugs pouting in a hospital bed,_ Dot thought as she continued to watch most of the adults try to reason with Bugs.

She didn't even understand why he was arguing; they were all trying to help him. Everyone had said he could stay at their places, though Daffy and Mickey seemed to be the two in the lead right now. Everyone else had backed off and appeared to just be enjoying watching the verbal banter between the three.

Bugs was so sore he could barely reach for the water on the table beside the bed; Mickey had gotten it for him. Dot thought him going to someone's house for a few days to recuperate was a good idea for him. If these people were his friends and were worried about him he should listen to them.

Sometimes they didn't seem like real friends though. Everyone was arguing and tossing insults around. But no one seemed to be getting mad about it either; maybe Daffy a bit, but she got the impression that Daffy took everything as a personal insult.

"You adore me," Daffy said to some comment Bugs made while Mickey simply shook his head at them.

"Thankfully someone does," Slappy muttered to Porky while she shifted Skippy higher on her hip. "Personally I like him better when his beak is blown around the back of his head."

Dot giggled again at the look Daffy threw Slappy while Bugs continued to glower on the bed and complain that they weren't bringing his discharge paperwork quick enough and they'd better let him in Yakko's room or there'd be hell to pay. Then Porky told him to hush because he was setting a bad example.

It was still kinda funny to see Bugs acting so childish.

But it made her a little happy too; Bugs was OK. He was still hurt really bad if the grimaces he had been making when he moved were any indication. She glanced up to his head briefly; Porky said Bugs' head hit the window when the car spun and he had 'soft tissue injuries'. That's why he had a big bandage and splint on his left ear.

And he was mad because they weren't letting him leave his bed until he signed some papers and got some medicine and directions and he wanted to see Yakko too. Dot was pretty sure that if Yakko could hear that he'd be happy because he really liked Bugs.

Dot turned her eyes back to the door as it opened emitting Mr. Bunny, Buster in his arms. After giving a small wave to her and Wakko, both rabbits turned and greeted Bugs, who managed to make a noise that resembled a cross between a 'hi' and a snort.

Well, Wakko would be happy if his friend was here.

For once, Dot was the one that had more friends around her than Wakko. She had both Molly and Skippy there. For the first time she could remember Wakko hadn't fussed about Skippy being a dork or Molly being too hyper, though she wasn't as hyper as she usually was. Molly had even hugged Wakko when he had started crying and he hadn't even complained about that. Dot didn't know if she should be happy that Wakko wasn't being a pain to her friend or alarmed because he was willingly taking hugs, though he didn't seem quite as willing to take one from Skippy.

Of course seeing him crying had made her cry and Molly was hugging both of them crying which got Skippy crying. Finally everyone was crying and Kit came over and tried to calm everyone down. She thought that was nice of him; he wasn't crying but he looked upset. Yakko was his friend too.

Wakko had seemed happier with the hugs though. She didn't mind sharing her friends with him. She knew what it felt like to not have any friends around when you were feeling bad.

She frowned a bit to herself though; with Buster here she bet Wakko was going to just stay close to him and probably ignore her. Maybe not ignore her, but she bet that he'd talk to Buster more than her. He did that at the lot; if his friends were around sometimes it seemed like he forgot about her because they started talking about video games and movies and music and lots of stuff she didn't know or care about.

She hoped he wouldn't now though; she was already scared and felt lonely and confused. She liked Porky and everyone in the room, but right now she really just wanted to talk to Wakko.

"Came as soon as we could," Mr. Bunny said. "How are you feeling Bugs?"

"Sore, tired, worried," Bugs replied.

"Yakko?" Mr. Bunny asked, looking at everyone in the room. "Anything yet?"

The conversations going on dropped off. After a moment of silence Porky shook his head and Mr. Bunny nodded once.

"Can we see him Dad?" Buster asked. "Come on, just for a min-"

"Just be quiet for now Buster, maybe we can see him in a little while," Mr. Bunny replied as the conversation quickly started up again in the room.

Dot rolled her eyes but wasn't surprised that Buster's question wasn't answered. She had been putting up with it for the last twenty-four hours. She turned her eyes as Bugs slammed his fist down on the bed with a soft thump and then winced.

"What's your problem now?" Mickey asked.

"Give me a break Mickey! On top of all the other ones I'm annoyed that Nurse isn't here yet to-"

"Give it a rest – I say – give it a rest rabbit," Foghorn muttered. "She's got other patients besides you."

"Rabbit thinks he's important Foggy," Daffy said. "World just revolves around him and no one else is-"

"You want to say that about me?" Bugs asked incredulously. "Biggest ego in Hollywood-"

"With reason. You saw my performance in-"

"I've seen you perform in a lot of stuff," Foghorn snorted. "Makes me wonder where you got the ego to begin with."

Bugs and Mickey laughed while Daffy snapped, "Notice you haven't won any awards recently either Foggy."

"Cram it all of you," Slappy snapped. "Don't think because you're in a hospital bed I won't bomb you to-"

Dot watched the adults with wondering eyes; it took her mind off Yakko for a second or two.

They argued a whole lot. When she had first come into the room Daffy and a few of the other adults had been talking in low tones to Bugs who seemed really upset. All she had heard was 'not your fault' from Mickey and Bugs saying something about he should have been able to do something to make sure this didn't happen before Mickey told him he was being ridiculous and Daffy told everyone to stuff it and pointed to her and Porky.

After that it seemed less tense. As more people came in the room the talking stayed friendly but more insults and quips had begun zinging around. When Foghorn and Sylvester had entered they had even joined in with Slappy's support.

Dot didn't understand it, but she shrugged to herself. Bugs had seemed sad. He still seemed upset, but he seemed happier than he was. He almost appeared to be enjoying it.

Maybe he liked arguing, sort of like Wakko and his friends. They argued all the time about stupid things and they sure seemed to like it. Maybe it was a boy thing she'd never understand. She couldn't ever remember seeing Wakko and Buster hug, or Plucky or Max say anything nice to each other. Sometimes the girls hugged them, but even then they always looked uncomfortable. Didn't boys ever hug each other? How did they even know that they cared for each other if all they did was hurl insults and fight each other?

Boys were just stupid sometimes. No matter how hard she tried she just could never figure them out. She had asked Wakko once why he was always fighting with his friends. When he had looked at her confused and asked 'when' she said she heard all of them calling each other 'asshat' and 'turdface' every chance they got and he had looked at her in astonishment, not even seeming to grasp that it looked like they didn't like each other.

She turned her head again as the door opened, the Nurse stepping in followed by a doctor who began giving instructions to Bugs about bed rest and heat and ice and taking it easy and calling about problems and checkups and therapy. Bugs was nodding hurriedly while Daffy turned to talk to Mickey and Slappy.

Porky shifted her higher on his hip and Dot tightened her grip around his neck as he began walking over to Foghorn and Mr. Bunny, who were talking quietly. Buster and Wakko, both of whom had been deposited on the floor, were huddled in the corner of the room talking, Buster's hand on Wakko's shoulder.

Since she was closer to the adults she raised her ears to try to hear what they were saying. She might be able to hear what was going on; Buster and Wakko could be talking about anything knowing those two – she bit back that thought. Neither of them was cold enough to be talking about anything but the current situation and Buster might have overheard something that the adults weren't telling them. That was probably why Buster had his arm around Wakko's shoulders; so he could tell him whatever he heard without anyone overhearing.

She could get that out of them later though. Maybe – if they weren't in one of their 'shut-Dot-out-because-she's-little-and-a-girl' moods. They had them sometimes. Better to pay attention to the adults because they probably actually knew something.

"-conference and UPS is offering a ten-thousand dollar reward for information on the other car."

"Trying to cover their backsides what I think," Foghorn scoffed. "Bad publicity."

"Doesn't sound like their driver did anything," Mr. Bunny said. "Poor guy was just making his deliveries and someone cut him off-"

"He shoulda – I say - he shoulda maintained control of his vehicle," Foghorn said.

"I think he got that charge," Mr. Bunny agreed. "He probably feels terrible Fog-"

"Worse than Yakko and Bugs you think?"

Mr. Bunny sighed. "I'm angry about it too Foghorn, but be angry at the situation. It's not like anyone was trying to get them; accidents happen – that's why they're called accidents."

"Should be dragged off to jail and-"

"That's nice Foghorn," Mr. Bunny snapped. "Pump Wakko's head full of anger and-"

"Please," Foghorn said while waving his hand at Mr. Bunny. "I ain't said that in front of the boy and I don't intend to. He's got enough going on in that fuzzy head of his. I already told him and Dot not to be angry at breakfast when they found out about the attorneys for the company being here; won't do them no good. They know no one was trying to get their brother; just a bad run of luck. But you can't stop me from being mad about it Bernie."

"Wouldn't dream of trying," Mr. Bunny chuckled. "Now I've already talked to Thad; he's outside with Dr. Scratchansniff now. I was almost shocked; Thad actually seems worried and not about ratings and money for once."

"Shocked?" Foghorn asked. "If Plotz isn't screaming about ratings and money I'm floored; gonna have to pick my jaw up. Man's got dollar signs for pupils."

"He's not all bad," Mr. Bunny said. "It is his job after all and he's worried about what to do with the younger kids now; they can't stay by themselves. Which brings me to my next point. If you and Porky-"

"Nothing to worry about," Foghorn said with a shrug. "Kids'll be taken care of. He think we're just gonna dump 'em here like a litter of unwanted pups and take off? Knew the man – I say – knew the man didn't have any damn sense."

"I never had any doubt, but I'm extending the offer anyway. They can stay with us," Mr. Bunny said. "Wakko's always welcome and so is Dot. We all knew something like this could happen when we agreed to be chap-"

"I don't wanna stay with you!" Dot interrupted. Though it was nice to know she was welcome at the man's house even though he didn't know her as well as Wakko or Yakko, her mind was elsewhere. When they turned to look at her she added, "I mean not because it's you, I just don't wanna leave!"

"Just h-h-hush for now Dot," Porky murmured quietly. "He's being nice. We'll talk about this in awhile. Here," he added, lowering her to the floor, "G-G-Go talk to W-W-Wakko and B-B-Buster for a few minutes."

He gently gave her a push toward Wakko and Buster who had turned to watch the proceedings. Porky directed Mr. Bunny and Foghorn to follow him and they left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dot wanted to stomp her foot and follow them.

Pausing a second, she did stomp her foot. It felt good but it really didn't change the situation any. Why did adults always have to keep her in the dark about everything? She was almost seven – she could hear this stuff! Didn't she have a right to know what was going to happen to her and her brothers?

She was about to go after them and say that too, but she felt herself tearing up again. Stupid crying; she was crying all the time. No wonder the adults never told her anything.

She angrily swiped the tears with her glove determined to go out there and tell them exactly what she thought as soon as she stopped crying. She was pretty sure if she went out there and started sobbing while yelling at them they wouldn't take her seriously.

They never did.

"Hey, come on now," someone said behind her while putting an arm around her.

Assuming it was Wakko and his voice sounded weird because she was crying and she wasn't hearing it right she turned only to see Buster instead. A bit surprised, she peeked around Buster and saw that Wakko was facing the wall, his shoulders shaking a bit. That was another weird thing about boys; they didn't like other boys to see them crying, even when something bad happened and it was alright to cry.

"Come on Dot, it'll be OK," Buster said. "Look, I gotta deal with Wakko crying and him pretending he's not; don't you start crying too." He sighed and added, "Then I'm gonna start crying and I don't want anyone to see that. I need you to help me cheer Wakko up OK? You can do that right?"

Dot nodded, a bit surprised. Buster actually looked concerned. He was being nice, really nice.

He had never been mean to her but he teased her a lot. Like one time he managed to get her favorite bow from her and wouldn't give it back until she kicked him in the shins and he dropped it.

Another time he and Wakko found some worms and chased her and Molly all around the lot with them, even though they never actually caught them. That had always surprised her; Wakko and Buster were really fast and knew the lot better than her and Molly. Maybe they had just gotten bored with the game because she didn't think they couldn't catch her and Molly. Maybe they were afraid of getting in trouble.

Now though he seemed like he was trying to be helpful. She knew he was Wakko's friend and she never really counted on him saying much more than 'hi' to her unless he was picking on her. When he came in she just assumed that he was going to stay glued to Wakko and not even speak to her. Now though he was actually talking to her and not saying she was too girly and super sweet and a brat. And he was asking for her help. And she could help, especially if it was for Wakko.

Maybe Buster wasn't all bad. He wasn't trying to tease her right now anyway, which she appreciated.

"OK," she mumbled. "I'm just mad they won't tell me anything."

"You'll get used to it," Buster sighed.

"They said I was too little to go to the press conference too," she added, wiping at her face again before glancing up at him.

"Hey, Dad wouldn't even let me watch it," Buster said. "And I'm older than you. I think they think they're trying to protect us but it makes me mad too. There's nothing we can do about it; we got to trust them that they'll let us know what's going on when they know what's going on. Come on, Yakko's your brother; they aren't going to keep anything really important from you. You trust Porky right?"

Dot nodded again; she did trust Porky. She trusted a vast majority of the adults she was around really. If Yakko trusted them that was good enough for her and he only let her go anywhere with people he trusted.

Thinking about Yakko again, lying in the bed motionless she started to tear up again. She had been brought in as one of the nurses was turning him so he wouldn't get bedsores from lying still for so long. She was told she wasn't supposed to see it and the nurse had apologized profusely to her and Porky before scurrying out of the room and Porky was left to explain to her what the nurse had been doing. He hadn't seemed real happy about that though.

The fact that Yakko even needed to be turned because he couldn't do it himself brought on a fresh wave of tears and Buster put his arm around her quickly.

"Hey, no more crying," he said hurriedly. "Come on Dot, I don't know what to…wait I do know what."

Dot, still crying looked up at him through her tears. The rabbit seemed to have thought of something. Trying to calm down she waited for whatever he was going to say. Wakko always said that Buster was one of the smartest guys he knew; maybe he had something smart to tell her that would make her feel better.

"Hey, look, I need you to do something for me. Something really important. I don't even want Wakko to do it – it's a job only for you. Think you can do that?"

_A job? Now? At a time like this? _

"What?" she whispered, getting ready to bite him or hit him in the face with one of her gloops that were getting close to being pies if he was going to ask her to do something dumb. You just couldn't tell with boys sometimes.

"Here," he said, reaching back into his Hammerspace and pulling out four envelopes, each with the word 'Yakko' printed on them, two in a messy scrawl, the other two in much neater print. "Dad already said me and him probably won't be let in to see Yakko even though we really want to. But you get to go in; you can leave these there for him for me so when he wakes up-"

"We don't know if he's gonna wake up."

"Total crap. Everyone knows what he's done; if anyone's gonna wake up it's him. Look, all the guys wanted to come here, but they can't for a bunch of different reasons so they brought them to me."

Interested, Dot sniffed and took the envelopes while asking, "Who?"

"That one's from me and Dad," Buster said, pointing to the light blue one. "The others are from Monty, Plucky and Babs and Elmyra. Babs and Elmyra's is that one," he added with a slight eye roll while grimacing and pointing to the pink envelope. "Plucky and his Mom were at my house putting them in our mailbox when we drove up."

Dot looked at the envelopes, touched. She bet Yakko would be touched too knowing that even Wakko's silly friends were worried about him.

They all seemed to like Yakko even though he teased them. She always laughed when Yakko started because they teased her and she liked seeing them get picked on some even though Yakko wasn't ever nasty to them. The worst he had ever called them was 'goofballs' and one time he said he couldn't believe that the four of them had managed to get a nickname that usually referred to one of the greatest rock bands in history. She had no idea who that was really, but she remembered him saying some man named Lennon was probably rolling in his grave at the thought.

Molly had wanted to go in Yakko's room and leave him some candy, but Ms. Cunningham said no. Molly finally kissed Dot's cheek and told her that she had to give that to Yakko when she saw him because she couldn't do it. She had thought the gesture was sweet; Dot could hardly believe the boys thought of this. Maybe the girls helped.

"It's really important that he gets these," Buster said while putting his hand on her shoulder. "Can you do that for me?

Dot looked up at him. He actually looked serious, one of the few times she could say she had ever seen him be serious. He was probably the less silly of the four boys, but he was still pretty goofy at times. But he trusted her with a really important job.

"Sure," she said softly.

"Hey, sorry," Wakko said, finally coming up behind them while still wiping at his face with his palms.

"You OK pal?" Buster asked.

"Yeah, got something in my eye," Wakko muttered.

Dot heard Buster mumble 'load of crap' and tried not to giggle again, this time at Wakko's look.

"If you think I'm gonna judge ya for it Wak, you're wrong," Buster said louder while staring at him.

"I know," Wakko sighed. Spotting the envelopes in Dot's hand he asked, "What's that?"

"They're from your friends for Yakko!" Dot said, feeling rather happy that Buster trusted her enough to do that for him. "Even that butthead Max sent one, see?" she added, holding them up in his shocked face. "And Buster said I was the only one that could deliver them for him because he can't go in and he didn't even want you to do it. Only me," she added proudly.

She didn't really understand that. Wakko was goofy sometimes, but he could certainly manage to get the cards to Yakko's room. Maybe he thought Wakko would forget. She wouldn't though; she was going to hold on to them until she went back to Yakko's room.

Wakko stared at the envelopes for a second before looking at her.

She watched stunned when he turned and threw his arms around Buster, simply muttering 'thanks'. She was even more astonished when Buster returned the hug, holding onto Wakko for a second before muttering 'sure Wak'.

She watched them for a second, slightly envious. Right now she'd like a hug from someone too but all the adults were still talking and Skippy was asleep in Slappy's arms.

She decided to watch Wakko and Buster instead. It was sweet; they never did that and she hadn't been expecting it. She also wasn't expecting Wakko to hold his arm out for her to join in the hug too.

But since he was she took the four steps forward to join in the embrace.

Maybe boys weren't stupid all the time.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 21, 1994

Wakko rolled over, comfortable and warm and sighed, snuggling deeper into the pillow. Still half asleep he cracked open his eyes slightly, wondering why he could see an alarm clock on a nightstand by the bed.

Confused he opened his eyes wider, wondering why he could see the nightstand and the light coming in from the window. He slept on the top bunk and could usually only see the closet and there was no window-

Confused and frightened he sat upright so quickly he almost did a summersault off the bed. Steadying himself on his hands and knees he looked around, trying to wake up. This wasn't his room, this sure as hell wasn't his bed, and he knew damn well he wasn't at the hospital anymore.

Where was Dot? Where was Yakko? Why wasn't he at the hospital anymore? Where was he?

Trying to stop from panting too loudly in case someone was in the room he slowly turned his head, taking everything in. This place looked too nice for a TIS home; you always had to share rooms there. He remembered most of that. This room only had the one bed he was in and it was a big bed. Yakko had said these were full sized beds. He also said they were great because they weren't bunk beds; Yakko really hated bunk beds.

It was better looking than anything he had seen at the TIS home too. The bed was really tall and he was lying on top of a blue and white quilt. To the left was a window with some gauzy white curtains, the dark brown nightstand underneath it and the clock showing it was seven-eighteen in the morning. He jumped slightly when as he watched the numbers flipped and it turned to seven-nineteen.

He crawled across the bed and nimbly hopped to the hardwood floor, spying a long dresser with a tall hutch on it. If he stood on his toes he could see himself in the mirror. Looking at himself he grimaced; he looked like crap. He supposed over twenty-four hours of crying at the hospital, or holding Dot while she cried, or him holding onto Buster while trying not to cry would do that.

He shook his head; cursing himself for falling asleep. He had been determined to not fall asleep this time; it was bad enough he had done it the first night at the hospital. All day Saturday he had been determined to not do it again, but apparently he had and look what happened; he was in some strange place and he couldn't see Dot anywhere and he had serious doubts she was under the bed.

Frowning, he bent down and looked anyway, hoping that maybe she was down there though knowing he was being stupid. She wasn't, so he stood and took a step back. His foot hit something and he went sprawling.

Landing on his butt on the floor he looked around surprised before staring at what he tripped on; his backpack. His frown deepened; that had been at the tower. He usually only used it for carrying his clothes and games and stuff like that when he was going to Buster's and he knew what the rabbit's room looked like. This place was way too clean and uncluttered to be his friend's room.

He sat up and grabbed the pack, unzipping the top and looking inside, spotting a few articles of clothing. He felt his face twist in confusion; he hadn't packed the bag. He hadn't been planning on going to his friend's house this weekend because Buster and his father were going to visit family even though their visit had been cut really short. Buster had been complaining about it all week; apparently his cousin was some teen model or something and was a real girl. Not a girl like Elmyra and Babs who wanted to play ball or run around with the boys sometimes. No, she was an older girl; Buster said she was kind of boring, but at least her house had a pool.

That was unusual though; bags didn't pack themselves any more than the trash would take itself out. He knew that; he had wished for it enough times. And it would be unusual for TIS to pack a bag for him; they made you wear their ugly uniforms and he doubted that TIS would have been nice enough to pack it for him even if they were going to let him take his clothes.

He zipped the bag up; he'd worry about his stuff later. Now he had to find Dot and get back to the hospital. Yakko might have woken up overnight and he'd be worried.

He hoped he had woken up…

Wakko sniffed and swiped at his eyes with the back of his glove, telling himself he needed to pull it together. He didn't know where he was, someone was packing his clothing, his family was gone, and so was Foghorn.

He scowled; he had tried talking to Foghorn yesterday about what was going to happen to him and Dot. The Doctor and the nurses had been saying that the 'children' should leave at some point because it was too depressing for them to be there and they needed to rest and get out and everything else. Foghorn had told him he didn't need to worry about anything; he just had to concentrate on keeping himself and Dot's spirits up and eating and talking to Yakko when they were in the room with him. Porky gave Dot pretty much the same line.

He was a bit hurt actually; he would have thought if he and Dot were going to be given to TIS that Foghorn would have at least told him. Maybe he didn't want to wake him to tell him because he knew he and Dot would argue or try to run away or something.

Yakko did say he was too trusting sometimes; he said Wakko was 'naïve'. Maybe he had been 'naïve' when he assumed Foghorn or someone would have told him they were going to be given away or dumped somewhere.

_Again, worry about it later, dumbass. You've got to get out of here._

Standing up again he looked around. Across from him was an open closet, piled with everything from boxes, to coats, to sports equipment. He felt his eyebrows rise in surprise when he looked toward another nightstand shoved in the corner, seeing his violin case. He knew it was his too; he could see the white marks standing out sharply against the black leather from where he had accidentally dropped it a few times.

_What was going on?_

Still worried, but feeling some relief at seeing his instrument he moved his gaze around to the right. Wherever he was, someone obviously knew him well enough to see that his favorite way of relieving stress was close at hand. He saw another door, partially opened, leading out of the room and into a hallway.

Creeping toward it he was surprised to see it being pushed open the rest of the way. Fear and instinct kicked in and he reached into his Hammerspace for his mallet. Yakko had beaten his way out of a TIS home… he could do it too.

"You awake boy? Thought I heard…Put that – I say – put that thing away before you hurt yourself. Or me. Too early for this nonsense."

Wakko sighed in relief hearing the familiar booming voice. Even if he hadn't been awake, after that he would be.

"Foghorn! Where are we?" he asked, trying to keep the demanding tone out of his voice. He was actually happy to see him and felt a little guilty about his previous thoughts that Foghorn had dumped him somewhere. "Why aren't we at the hospital? Where's Dot?"

Yakko said sometimes he was quick to rush to judgment too, that he needed to get all the facts and think of the consequences before he acted or spoke. Yakko said it a lot; just sometimes Wakko didn't always listen.

"How come-"

"Now hold on boy - you're at my place; Dot's over at Porky's down the street a bit. Calm down; let's get something to eat and we'll talk."

Holding his hand out Foghorn took his shoulder and guided Wakko out of the room. Confused and irritated that Foghorn wasn't answering all his questions, but still relieved he wasn't at a home and Dot was with Porky, Wakko docilely allowed himself to be guided down the hall to the staircase.

He had never been to Foghorn's house before and he looked around, curious despite his annoyance. Much like his office at the lot Foghorn's house was a bit cluttered with sports memorabilia and car merchandise and other miscellaneous items that Wakko couldn't make out. For some reason he was surprised that the furniture actually matched. Reaching the bottom of the staircase Wakko saw a huge television to his left, a green couch, and a large overstuffed armchair dominating the living room.

Still gently steering him Foghorn directed him to the kitchen, where he finally told him to sit in one of the chairs and began preparing what Wakko assumed were pancakes. He wasn't really in the mood to eat; he wanted to get back to the hospital. He wanted to see Dot. He really wanted to see Yakko. He sighed, what he really wanted to do was go home with both Dot and Yakko.

Wakko wasn't sure when he had left the hospital; Mr. Bunny had said he and Dot could stay with him if they wanted. They had refused despite everyone trying to send them off; neither of them had wanted to leave. He actually thought they had been successful; Bugs had complained about being forced to leave but he had eventually.

Daffy had finally dragged the limping rabbit out after he went in to see Yakko for a few minutes after a long conversation with the doctor that looked like it might become an argument if Porky hadn't stepped in. Bugs, looking miserable after his visit, had pulled Wakko to the side and told him he was only leaving for a little while to get prescriptions and to take care of a couple things but he would be back in a few hours.

In the meantime, Wakko was supposed to be in charge and look after Dot and neither of them was to leave sight of Foghorn or Porky. After a brief conversation with Dot and another one with TP he had finally slowly limped out of the hospital, Daffy almost marching him out like a jailer.

Wakko wondered if Bugs had managed to get back to the hospital; everyone seemed pretty adamant that he leave. He hoped that the rabbit felt better soon; he still looked pretty banged up. Buster and his father had finally left too, Buster promising to let everyone else know what was going on and he would be back tomorrow with his father. He also promised he wouldn't ever tell anyone that Wakko had been crying even though he said it was OK this time.

Wakko figured it was probably OK but he tried not to cry much especially in front of his friends. He'd be embarrassed and they'd be uncomfortable with it no matter what the reason probably. He was glad the gang had made an effort to give Yakko their best wishes even if he wasn't awake to know it and that Buster had given the cards to Dot to give to Yakko. That had seemed to make her really happy and it gave him a chance to try to stop crying. As soon as he had seen Buster and filled him in on what he could and how scared he was he had broken down and gotten mad at himself. He had said he wasn't going to cry no matter what when he started talking and-

He jumped as a plate was put in front of him, silencing all his thoughts. He had been right; they were pancakes. They weren't like the ones Yakko made though; no blueberries.

"Eat up Wakko," Foghorn said. "Soon as you do that and take a shower we can get back to the hospital."

Noticing Foghorn's look Wakko sighed and grabbed a fork. He had the same look he had the last few times he got him food; eat it or he wouldn't tell him anything.

"How come we're here Foghorn?"

"Because you two can't stay in a tower by yourselves. Nobody in their right mind would let a six and nine-year-old stay by themselves, especially after the last few days."

Wakko chose to take the answer and let it go. It had been mentioned a few times that they probably wouldn't be allowed to stay by themselves. He didn't think it was fair really; he was pretty sure he could handle anything that came up. Then again Yakko wouldn't let them stay by themselves, at least not that long. Certainly not overnight or days on end.

Truthfully he didn't know if he even wanted to be at the tower right now anyway. It wouldn't feel right, not without Yakko there.

"How come Dot's not here too?"

"Porky took her for the night. When you two fell asleep we decided to take you out the back way; avoid the newshounds out front baying for a story."

Wakko was thankful about that too. It hadn't been the first thing on his mind, but when it was mentioned that they might have to leave he had thought about all the cameras and reporters and photographers out front, wanting to shove cameras in their faces and yell stupid questions at them. He didn't know if he could have handled that and he sure didn't want Dot out there trying to deal with it.

"Is she gonna stay here tonight?"

"Don't know boy," Foghorn said with a shrug. "We just decided this last night. Porky's probably talking to Dot now." Looking at him Foghorn added, "You're both welcome to stay here or you're both welcome to stay at Porky's. Right now, stay wherever you're comfortable at."

Well, at least he was getting some say in something that was happening to him. He hadn't liked the 'we decided this last night' comment. Since it involved where he and his sister were going to stay he really thought he should have been woken up and asked. If they bothered to involve him he wouldn't have woken up this morning in a panic.

"Can't I just stay at the hospital? Yakko might wake up any time and-"

"It's not good – I say – it's not good you and Dot being there all the time."

"But-"

"No. You two need rest, gotta eat and get – I say - get a break from that place. Ain't gonna do Yakko any good when he wakes up and you two are in rooms of your own from exhaustion," Foghorn said.

Wakko scowled at him. He hated it when people talked over him.

"But Foghorn, when he wakes up we want to be there."

Sighing, Foghorn turned to look at him.

"I understand that, I do. But we don't know when he's gonna wake up. I'm not trying to be mean son, but think about this; what if he doesn't wake up for six days? Six months? You plan on sitting in that lounge every hour of that time?"

"Yes," Wakko said, raising his chin defiantly at him.

He knew he was being stubborn. But he planned on being there when Yakko woke up, whenever that was. He hoped it wasn't six months from now; that would be a really long wait.

"Not happening," Foghorn said. "And think of it this way; you stay, Dot's gonna want to stay. You want her there, just sitting in that one room crying all the time?"

"Not really. She could leave," Wakko said. "Or we could take turns."

"Still might be a long time. Trust me boy, doctor'd be calling us when he wakes if we're not there."

"Still might not find out anyway," Wakko muttered. "You don't want to let us know about anything else."

Scowling at him Foghorn said, "What? You'd think no one'd let you know?"

"Oh, you probably would at some point," Wakko snapped, tossing down his fork on the plate before slumping back in his chair. "Oh who am I kidding; you wouldn't. The adults just team up and get in the way. You didn't even bother to ask me and Dot if we wanted to leave you just waited for us to go to sleep so you could sneak us out. And if you had said something yesterday instead of sneaking around I wouldn't have woken up thinking we had been dumped at a home or-"

"Boy I'm insulted – I say – I'm insulted!" Narrowing his eyes at him Foghorn said. "Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Deeds are fruits boy, words are only leaves."

Wakko cocked his head and stared at Foghorn with wide eyes. What the hell did fruit have to do with it? He wanted Foghorn to tell him what was going on not make him a pie.

"Porky and me; all the adults are taking care of a lot of this for you so you don't have to," Foghorn continued. "We know your upset; you and Dot. You got enough going on worrying about Yakko. You think you can do everything? You think you can handle talking to the press by yourself boy? Them shoving cameras in your face asking questions about how you feel about your brother being hurt?"

Wakko, surprised, shook his head.

"No? Good - Plotz and Scratchansniff are dealing with that."

Wakko, stunned that Foghorn seemed to be getting angry at him cringed back in his chair. He knew he annoyed the rooster sometimes because he didn't pay attention or just did really dumb stuff, but he had yet to truly anger him.

Or insult him. He hadn't meant to do that. He just talked too much sometimes.

He didn't know Plotz and Scratchansniff were doing anything but being annoying. Scratchy had just kept asking him and Dot lots of questions. Plotz had been running around with Spielberg for awhile; he honestly hadn't realized they were doing other stuff.

He was glad though; he really didn't want to talk to the press.

"You want to talk to the studio about contract negotiations because Yakko can't right now and the season's on hold? That little brown-eyed cutie of an agent's doing that for you two with some help from Slappy."

Wakko hadn't even thought about that. Yeah, without the oldest Warner brother there it really wouldn't be much of a show.

"How about doing a schedule so there's always a chaperone at the hospital? Did you think about that yet?"

Wakko shook his head again.

"No? Bernie and Bugs are working that out with everyone even though Bugs is hurting and taking more pills than a Bristol-Meyers lab rat at the moment."

Wakko hadn't really thought about that either. While he was worried about him and Dot being nabbed or dumped off, he hadn't given a single worry about Yakko being grabbed. He doubted the doctors would let them just take Yakko out of the hospital, but who knows, they might and Yakko wouldn't be able to defend himself.

He sighed; maybe it was better to just let the adults handle it. They seemed to have some idea of what was going on and were better at remembering the important stuff than he was. He just wanted to be more involved; was that too much to ask?

"You think you can handle taking care of yourself and Dot, especially with all this going on? I'm not talking about pouring a bowl of cereal and knowing Dot wants the crust cut off her sandwich boy – I mean really taking care of her? Do you even want to stay at the tower right now?"

Wakko wondered how Foghorn knew Dot liked the crust cut off her sandwich. She must have told Porky. He thought it was a pain himself.

But no, honestly, he didn't want to be at the tower. And while he thought he might be able to take care of himself and Dot for awhile, he didn't know how long he could do it for.

"That pretty little nurse went to the tower while we were still at the hospital to get stuff for you and Dot. She even went back a second time to get your violin after I said you'd probably want it."

Wakko looked at Foghorn, touched. Sure the rooster knew he played, he just never thought Foghorn understood how much he liked to play or how important it was to him.

"And to think that me or Porky, or Bugs – any one of us would just dump you off somewhere-"

It seemed like he had misjudged the rooster, badly.

"Foghorn that wasn't what I meant! I mean it was kinda, but not like it came out!"

"How'd you think it sounded? You thought we dumped you two off like a load of used parts? Everyone's getting in your way? Pay attention now boy; I don't mind you asking questions. I planned on talking to you about all this before you began whining and throwing around insults. There's a lot of folks trying to help you two - least you can do is try to be grateful a bit. There's a lot more going on that you don't even know about and don't need to worry about. You need to think before you speak," he finished off with a 'humphrring' sound before picking up a newspaper by his plate and burying his beak in it.

He should think before he spoke. Or thought about how he said something before he said it.

Wakko sighed while looking down at his plate; Yakko was the one with the reputation of having a big mouth, but his own was pretty good sized too. But Yakko never seemed to say anything wrong; no matter what he said it was taken for the pearl of wisdom it usually was and no one got mad at him. Wakko slumped his shoulders; he hadn't even been trying to be nasty; it just came out that way. Now he just pissed off one of the many people who were actually trying to help him.

"Finish your food; I gotta get you back to the hospital."

Wakko picked at the pancakes with his fork, not really in the mood to eat them. He needed to apologize, but that was sort of hard to do if Foghorn wasn't even looking at him. Yakko had told him before that it was better if he apologized on his own without being made to and it was better to apologize to someone's face than to do it over the phone or through a letter. The apology he had to write to the toons at Disney was an exception though, since he wasn't supposed to be on their lot.

Biting his lip and thinking back on what he said he just basically told the rooster that he didn't trust him or any one else that was actually doing quite a bit of work behind the scenes trying to help all of them out; not only him and Dot, but Yakko too even though he didn't know it. Looking back on it, Wakko supposed he'd be mad too; he was being an ungrateful brat. And Foghorn apparently did give a crap; he even had Nurse Miller go back and get his violin.

He hated having to apologize; he never knew what to say. If he slipped up and said something else wrong he'd just make it worse. Of course he'd probably make things worse by not apologizing and he really didn't want his relationship with Foghorn strained.

Besides, Yakko would probably be really angry at him for what he said. Or disappointed, especially if he didn't apologize for it and that was one thing he never wanted to do was disappoint Yakko. What was bad was that Yakko wouldn't even know he had done it, but Wakko would know he had done it and just knowing that he had done something that Yakko wouldn't approve of was enough for him.

Trying to stop his mind from rambling he instead began to organize his thoughts.

Foghorn had all sorts of crazy sayings for just about any situation imaginable; Wakko had always wondered how he managed to remember them all. He had one that would probably apply right now though 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'.

Maybe he heard that from the Ninja Turtles. He couldn't remember.

Trying to refrain from actually chewing his lip off Wakko hopped down off the chair and walked around the table to stand in front of Foghorn. When Foghorn didn't lower the paper Wakko cleared his throat and waited until the rooster moved the paper to look down at him.

"Foghorn…" Wakko said before trailing off, trying to formulate what he wanted to say. After a few seconds he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't think about how that would come out sounding. I'm just frustrated because no one's telling me anything, I know I can't take care of Dot like I should be able to, Yakko's not doing good and I can't even be involved in anything…" Feeling his face screw up he added in a mutter, "I'm sorry, I was being a jerk and took it out on you. I appreciate everything you and the others have been doing even if I didn't know about it."

Not sure if that would be sufficient, but knowing that was about all he could say Wakko turned, wanting to leave the kitchen before he made the chicken even angrier than he was. After a moment he felt himself being lifted in the air and turned so that Foghorn was holding him.

"Apology accepted boy. And you weren't being a jerk. You were – I say – you were being a nine-year-old which is one of the reasons all of us adults are teaming up against you as you said."

"I didn't mean-"

"Look boy, don't you think Yakko would be happier, rest easier if he knew you and Dot weren't running wild around the hospital or the lot? Just trust us on this OK? And if you want to be involved…think me and Porky can find something for you and the little miss to do; all you little ones. Keep those minds of yours running and not your mouths so much. And I'll try to keep you as informed as I can, promise. Just next time boy, try asking the question even if you have to ask more than once; I get distracted too. You got enough to worry about without fearing whatever made up fantasies you dream up in that fuzzy head."

That would probably be good; he'd like to be more involved in at least some aspect of this. It wouldn't make everything better but at least he would feel like he was actually doing something besides crying or standing around.

And his apology, as half assed as it was had been accepted. Yakko might have been upset at his attitude, but Wakko would like to believe that he'd be happy that he apologized for it.

XXXXXXXXXX

Dot anxiously watched Yakko's face, still unchanged from the past couple of days as Wakko stood by the bed, continuing to play his violin for Yakko. He said he wanted to play him a song because if he could hear them talking to them, he could hear a song and that might make him happy. She watched him; while he was crying almost as much as her the last few days and his hands were shaking right now he appeared composed as he carefully drew the bow across the strings, his eyes half closed in concentration.

That cheered her up slightly; if playing a song would make Wakko and Yakko feel better she was behind that. She wished she could do something like that but the only thing she could play was the piano and she wasn't very good at that and there wasn't one in the room anyway. She could dance but she was too tired and knew it wouldn't be any good, not worthy of doing for Yakko, and her voice was too harsh and raspy right now to sing him anything.

Still sad, she huddled down further in Porky's arms and squeezed her bear closer to her. She was really happy Lisa had grabbed her bear. It didn't make everything all right but having the bear made her feel better. She had told Lisa about Cupcake before and how she always slept with her. Always. Yakko had gone through a lot to make sure she was around so he could give her back to Dot. No matter what other stuffed animal she got, she liked her best, even if she was getting a little faded.

Lisa said that was OK; she had a stuffed animal she slept with when she was little too, though her name was Missy.

It was really nice that Lisa went and got her clothes for her. Dot had been upset and confused when she woke up at Porky's house this morning. She recognized the room; it was the same room she had slept in when she stayed the weekend at Porky's house. She knew the patchwork quilt she was under and the big window across from the bed where she could see the horse paddock.

She didn't think it was very nice that Porky had taken her out of the hospital at night and didn't even let her say bye to Wakko or even invite him over, but Porky said that she and Wakko both were asleep by the time they left and that Wakko was invited too. Just at the time they had thought she and Wakko would want to stay with their tutors.

When he explained it to her that way, well, she still wasn't very happy they had left the hospital, but Porky said it was for their own good so she decided to believe him. Plus he took her back right away and even let her talk to Wakko on his cell phone after he talked to Foghorn and told him Bugs was being a pain and was heading back to the hospital and totally ignoring all reasonable advise.

Sighing she looked around the room. She wished they could bring in the flowers and stuff that were coming in to the hospital for Yakko. When he woke up he wouldn't be in a bare boring room that just had confusing machines and stuff in it. Porky said the nurses said no though. Right now it could bring in germs that might hurt him and the room had to be kept really clean. When Yakko woke up he would eventually be taken away from this room and put in another room and he could have his flowers then.

Dot was confused about that; she thought when Yakko woke up he could go home but she was told not right away. She wondered how Yakko would feel about that. He probably wouldn't like it.

She glanced at the table by Yakko's bed, seeing his gloves lying on the table next to the cards she and the others had made for him. She was really happy the adults had come up with that idea.

Foghorn had talked to Porky when everyone met at the hospital this morning. She didn't know what they talked about, but a while later they and Lisa and Ms. Cunningham had told everyone that they should make cards for Yakko so that when he woke up he would see them right away.

The next thing Dot knew she was sitting at a table in the lounge with construction paper and glitter and markers making a card, Molly and Skippy beside her looking happy to be making something. Wakko and Buster hadn't seemed quite as thrilled with it and kept muttering things that sounded like 'busy work', 'crap' and 'little kid's junk'.

Wakko and Buster didn't draw very well though so maybe that's why they were mad. They seemed happier when Mr. Bunny asked them to come help him and Slappy go through some of the cards and flowers and stuff that were coming to the hospital and to help write thank you cards. They said when Yakko woke up he might be too tired to do it and if they could get some of it out of the way now or even just organized it would be really helpful to everyone, especially him. The boys looked pleased to have been asked and they quickly left the table which was OK with Dot; Wakko had been hogging the blue marker.

And everyone else was happy they got to make cards because they still weren't allowed to come in Yakko's room. On one hand she was happy it was just her and Wakko and a few others like Bugs that could come in because Yakko was her brother and she just wanted to be with him by herself, or as close to being by herself as she could. On the other hand it wasn't fair to Yakko or the others; the others wanted to see him and Yakko would like the company and to know so many people were worried about him.

Slappy hadn't been allowed in and had almost been kicked out of the hospital and got Porky mad at her. When the Doctor had introduced himself and said he was Yakko's doctor and wouldn't allow anyone but immediate family in she had said she was Slappy Squirrel, she was so old that the milk in her breasts had dried to powder and if he didn't get the hell out of her way she was going to blow a hole in his wall.

She didn't really understand what Slappy meant, but Porky seemed to. He had handed her off to Lisa for a few minutes and dragged Slappy off around the corner. When they had come back neither of them had looked happy, but Slappy hadn't said much more after that. Dot figured Porky had yelled at Slappy and she was mad because nobody liked getting in trouble.

She frowned as she continued to look at her older brother, all the funny tubes coming from him and running everywhere and the bright lights still shining down on him. She was upset not only because he was still in his 'coma' but because she was getting used to it.

And she knew she was being stupid; if Yakko could he would have woken up and pulled the tube out of his nose already and probably would have tried to crawl out of the room if he had to. She had barely cried today which scared her; she thought that she should be crying. Yakko was still hurt. She wondered if anyone felt as confused as she did. Even Wakko had cried a little earlier. He pretended he didn't but she had seen him wiping at his face a few times.

She tried to pull memories up in her head, happy memories of when Yakko was awake and running around and having fun and being her brother.

Good memories started flooding back, like when Yakko would play games with her and Wakko, or help them with their homework and their lines, or give them advice on what to do when they had problems.

Or when he would sneak up and pick her up from behind and toss her in the air before tickling her.

Or he'd come in her room at night if she was having a nightmare and lay down in the bed with her until she went back to sleep.

Or when he got mad at Wakko and threatened to make him watch reruns of 'Bozo the Clown' if he ever hid in Dot's closet to scare her again.

Or curling up on his lap on the couch and watching a movie while he absently stroked her ears and they commented on how annoying Bob Saget was or why she wasn't allowed to watch certain movies.

Or when he got down on the floor and played with her dolls with her even though Wakko had said boys don't like to play with dolls.

Or the way he'd run his hand through his hair and just look at Wakko in disbelief when he came up with another crazy reason for why he did something even though the answer was usually 'I don't know' or 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'.

Or when he let her sleep with him for a week after the earthquake because she was still scared that something was going to happen.

Or when he'd just pick her up and hug her for no reason.

She had two older brothers; Wakko would probably try to do all those things. He was a good big brother, but he wasn't Yakko. Wakko filled a different niche in her life; he was funny and crazy and talented and popular with everyone, but he just couldn't fill that void; he wasn't Yakko. And he was still little too and he was scared of clowns even though clowns were supposed to be happy things and she never understood what he was scared of. Yakko wasn't scared of anything.

Frowning she pulled herself out of her memories at hearing silence. Wakko had stopped playing, reaching the last note on the song and was standing beside the bed quietly with his head bowed, Foghorn's hand on his shoulder.

She wished she could do something like that, play Yakko a song. Wakko may be a moron sometimes but bringing his violin was a good idea. He had even picked a good song, 'Once Upon a Dream'. Dot had a feeling that Yakko liked it. Sure, he hadn't moved during the whole thing, but she bet that if he heard it he was smiling on the inside. Maybe Wakko wasn't such a moron after all; he knew that Yakko and she liked the song because of the movie. Wakko liked 'Lion King' better and said he'd never sit though that 'girl movie' again.

She rested her head on Porky's shoulder as he shifted her higher and turned; the Doctor was coming back in. Visiting hours were over.

She felt tears pricking at her eyes and she rubbed at them with her glove, tired and annoyed, but slightly relieved. She had been thinking something was wrong with her and she had stopped worrying.

She looked at Yakko again as she tightened her hold on Cupcake; he looked so small in the bed which was weird since he was really tall, a lot taller than her. She hoped he woke up tonight. She hoped he wasn't scared when he woke up. Yakko had told her that he got scared sometimes and he wasn't this fearless warrior that she thought he was but she didn't believe him. He never got scared.

_But what if he did? I'd be scared…_

Glancing down for a second she waved her arm to get the Doctor's attention as the man talked to the others and told Wakko that he played well and he was sure that his brother liked the song.

"Dr. Paulson?"

With a kind smile he turned to her.

"Yes Dot?"

Holding up Cupcake she asked, "Can I leave her here? For Yakko?" Batting her eyes she said, "He'll feel better when he wakes up and sees her. She makes me feel better."

"Dot, maybe you s-s-should k-keep her if she m-m-makes you-"

Dot shook her head at Porky and pursed her lips.

"No. I want to leave her for Yakko. Yakko knows her and likes her; she'll make him feel better." When no one said anything and just looked at her she huffed, "Wakko got to play a song so I want to do this for him."

"If you want you can leave her for him," Dr. Paulson said. "Come here and we'll find a good place for her…you want to leave her on the bed?"

Dot nodded as Porky carried her over to the other side of the bed while the doctor waved a nurse over.

"Yes, so he can hug her when he wakes up."

Dot heard Wakko say something about Yakko didn't hug stuffed animals and Foghorn hushing him. She didn't care what Wakko said, she was leaving Cupcake there.

Yakko couldn't cuddle up to her because he was still in his 'coma' but when he was awake he might. Probably not; Wakko was right about that – Yakko wasn't really the cuddling up type unless it was with her and sometimes Wakko. But if he was alone by himself in here when he woke up he might. And Bugs had been really sore, barely able to do anything and he hadn't been in a coma so she didn't think Yakko would be able to reach far for her. It would be better on the bed.

"OK Dot, we can't put her too far down right now," Dr. Paulson said. "We should-"

"But I want to tuck her in beside him."

"Well, we can't do that, but I have a better idea. How about we put her way up here, on top of the pillow?" Dr. Paulson asked while touching the top portion of it. "That way she's on the bed and she's watching over your brother. When he wakes up one of the first things he's gonna see is her, and she's not going to be in the nurse's way when they change the sheets and do other stuff for him. We don't want her getting lost or anything. Is that OK?"

Dot nodded, happy. The doctor understood.

Not all the details behind it maybe, but he understood, she could tell because of the look he was giving her and because he was helping her find the best place to put her. Cupcake would stay there in her place and watch over Yakko because she wasn't allowed to stay there. And that made sense because she usually watched over Dot. And Yakko had given her back to Dot when those mean people had taken her. And Goose had given the bear to her and Goose helped and sort of protected Yakko.

She wondered if Goose knew. Maybe Bugs had told her or she saw it on the news.

With the Doctor's help she leaned over, feeling Porky tighten his grip on her and lift her higher so she could put the bear up on Yakko's pillow and she could look down over him. This was the first time that she had been so close to Yakko since all this happened and she resisted the urge to lean over and hug him. She'd save the hug for when he woke up.

Positioning Cupcake on the pillow perfectly so she could watch the entire room Dot saw she was right up against Yakko. She could see the individual hairs on his face and where they started to blend out side his face mask from pure white to darkest black, the little cut he had on his nose, the way his nostrils were spread out and enlarged from the tubing shoved in them, the dark skin under his fur from the black eye. She tried to ignore the bandage on his shoulder.

With a trembling finger and hoping she didn't get in trouble or hurt Yakko she reached over and briefly ran a finger down his ear. He did it to her when she was upset. It didn't instantly solve all problems, but it was a comforting gesture for both of them. He sometimes did it and didn't even realize he was doing it.

Yes, Yakko always tried to make her feel better no matter what. She could try to do the same with him, it didn't matter how long it took.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 23, 1994

_Shit. _

_Pain…head…pain…_

_Something in nose…arm…_

_Wet…_

_Something in nose…_

_Hand…_

_Ow…_

_Sibs…_

_Why lips…_

_Funny…taste funny…_

_Shit…_

Trying to formulate his scattered thoughts and wondering why his brain didn't seem to be functioning even halfway normally Yakko tried to open his eyes. He managed to get them cracked and winced as bright lights came on overhead. He couldn't really tell where the light was coming from and he turned his head, wondering why everything felt so heavy and he hurt everywhere and something was in his nose.

This wasn't normal.

Something wasn't right. He didn't know what, but something wasn't right.

He tried to figure out what was normal for him and felt like he was going to throw up because he was having a hard time even remembering. It was sort of a dull feeling of panic.

No noise. Sibs weren't there. That wasn't normal.

He was naked. That wasn't normal.

He vaguely wondered where his clothing was.

His eyes and lips were slimy. That wasn't normal.

Not being able to move most of his body. That wasn't normal.

He was lying in something wet. That definitely wasn't normal.

Only being able to groggily respond to sensations to his body and having his mind almost adamantly refusing to respond…all of this wasn't normal.

"Look who's awake! The Doctor is coming; don't try to move OK? How are you feeling Yakko?"

He was startled by the voice which sounded surprisingly cheerful and he was sort of angry about that only because he was feeling like crap, and if he felt this bad then damn it the whole world should feel bad too…

He felt his mind jump, trying to process who spoke but his body didn't really respond.

What was wrong with him? He knew he was a fairly quick guy – why was everything going so slow? His brain, his body…

Finally managing to turn his head slightly to the right and being confused as to why that was taking so long for him to accomplish he looked at who spoke.

A nurse. Maybe. Nurses wore white.

It was a good looking nurse too; even with his groggy mind-state he could appreciate an attractive face. Not Hello Nurse or anything, but she was OK to look at.

If he wasn't naked and halfway positive he had wet himself, he'd probably be sort of happy about a pretty duck in his room…be hard to do shit with that beak…why was she in his room…this wasn't his room.

Happy that his mind seemed to be at least trying to get back to work he went to say 'hi'.

Instead all he heard come out was something that sounded like 'huhhhhhuhhuh'.

The Nurse, who hadn't even waited for a response from him was happily talking to him and asking questions while doing something, maybe to his arm.

"-and you gave everyone quite a fright for awhile; there's going to be some awfully happy people in here soon. Just relax we're going to take care of you-"

_Who?_

"-and Bugs is OK so you don't need to worry about that. He's sitting in the waiting room now because Mr. Plotz just left."

_What?_

Yakko wanted to ask her what she was talking about. He was just trying to remember who she was. Or why he was here.

"Are you thirsty? Would you like a drink?"

Yakko stared at her for a minute, trying to process the question.

He was thirsty; his mouth was dry. He wondered what all the goo on his lips and eyes were. He tried to move his arm, but it felt like it was tied to his body. And it hurt; everything hurt.

Finally moving his jaw he managed to choke out, "Where am I?"

His voice usually didn't sound like that. He remembered he had a higher voice; not like a girl, but it definitely wasn't that harsh and raspy. He remembered Wakko already had a deeper voice.

"You're at Good Samaritan Hospital," someone else spoke and Yakko felt his mind try to jump to work and process that someone else was coming in. A man.

Hospital? You went to hospitals when you were hurt. His brain was working, almost at Ralph's pace true, but it appeared to be waking up.

He wished the rest of him would.

"Nurse Foray, please get Yakko some water," the man was saying. "Yakko, I'm Doctor Avery. Can you tell me what's the last thing you remember?"

Yakko thought as the Doctor mumbled something to someone else and began looking in his face. Yakko blinked as the man shined a light in his eyes and he tried to turn his head away, but was really having problems even doing that.

He remembered giving Bugs a lame excuse on why he didn't write a paper; he said Wakko accidentally ate it. Bugs didn't buy it and lectured him for awhile. He wasn't too mad because they went out. He was supposed to write the paper. He was supposed to try not to drive Plotz crazy.

He wondered where Bugs was.

He wondered where his siblings were.

"Bugs got a ticket."

No, that wasn't right.

"Almost."

Where was Bugs?

His ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. He could sort of hear a rushing sound and he wondered if that was him or if the Nurse was pouring him the biggest glass of water he'd ever seen.

Yakko wondered where Bugs was…wasn't he with Bugs?

He knew they were going to the lot – going to meet the sibs and eat dinner. Where were they?

Still groggy Yakko was alarmed to feel himself starting to fall back asleep. He just woke up in a strange place; shouldn't he be more concerned?

"Sibs?"

_More concerned about them. Where were they? _

He was trying to panic but was having problems mustering the feeling up.

What was wrong with him?

"Do you remember your name?"

Did he? Yes. Of course he did. Who wouldn't? Right?

It was almost a relief though; remembering his name was normal.

"Yakko."

Yes, that was right.

"Yakko Warner," he said hoarsely, feeling more sure of himself despite the fact that he felt like he had gone ten rounds with…a boxer…of some sort.

Didn't he usually have something funny to say? That would be normal.

He and the sibs were going to eat and watch a movie. That would be pretty normal too.

Where was he?

Where were the sibs?

"No…Sibs?"

He was trying to sit up. He was trying to will his muscles to work and let him sit up. He was even trying to use his tail to push himself up and that didn't seem to be helping any, like his limbs didn't want to respond.

He didn't know what the man – the Doctor – was talking about – was still talking about.

He had to find them. He could try to process why he was here and where they were and what had happened and why he had something up his nose in a while.

He let out an involuntary yelp, mostly of pain but some frustration too. If he thought things hurt before he had made them worse just by trying to sit up, not that he got far.

But that was OK because before he could even try to push himself up the Doctor was telling him to lie back and that everyone else was all right and now they had to concentrate on him and do some tests and they were there to help him get better. And his hands and the nice nurse's hands were gentle as they began to reposition him and pull the sheet up all while still talking in nice low calm voices.

Something about it was only four-eleven in the morning and his family was safe with the others resting and he should be too…

_Safe…with others._

Upset to find that he was falling back asleep and too tired and confused and hurting too bad to really try to figure out why he allowed himself to be laid back down. Even though he really hadn't moved much now that he was noticing things.

_Hurt…_

_Others…_

_Sibs…_

XXXXXXXXXX

"What?"

"It's Tuesday Yakko," Bugs said quietly, touching Yakko's hand. "It's Tuesday afternoon."

"He's already asked that," Wakko whispered quietly to Foghorn as Yakko looked at everyone befuddled and the rooster stood behind Bugs and glowered at him. Foghorn wasn't happy Bugs was back at the hospital; no one was really. "Is he-"

"He's fine boy – I say - he's fine boy. He's just found out he got more winks than Rip Van Winkle; give him a few days to get his full wits back about him."

Wakko nodded worriedly while standing back on his toes so he could see better up onto the bed as Yakko again asked where he was. That was the third time Yakko had asked where he was – shouldn't he remember? They kept telling him.

Foghorn and the others had talked to him and Dot this morning about this though. Yakko was going to be confused, at least for awhile and they would have to be really patient with him because it wasn't his fault.

Wakko knew Yakko wasn't the only one confused; he felt pretty confused himself.

Foghorn had woken him up around seven this morning to tell him Yakko had come around. Wakko, while elated that Yakko had woken up, was furious that he wasn't there; he bet Yakko was heartbroken that he was hurt and in the hospital and he and Dot weren't there like they didn't care about him or something.

Foghorn had tried to calm him down of course but Wakko hadn't wanted to listen. After four days Yakko was awake. He was going back immediately. He had been about to run out of the house and ToonSpeed to the hospital even if he knew he logically couldn't run that fast for that far and the hospital was miles and miles away from Foghorn's house.

Of course Foghorn had stopped him, which wasn't surprising since he was still sitting on the edge of the bed when he told him and Wakko had been groggy but trying to wake up as much as he could to process this bit of information.

Why were they still there when they should be at the hospital? He bet Yakko wanted to go home.

Foghorn had told him he had nothing to be worried about though; Yakko was only awake about two and a half minutes before he went back to sleep. But he did say Yakko had asked about him and Dot which not only made Wakko feel really good but he also saw it as a really good sign. If he remembered him and Dot Yakko was OK. Wakko had been worried that Yakko might have amnesia like they always seemed to have on those boring doctor shows when people woke up from comas.

Foghorn said that was just TV though and it was supposed to make for a really good story. Wakko thought it just made it even more boring than it originally was because then it usually became a flashback story and you had to sit through everyone telling the guy in the bed who and what they were and it just ended up putting him to sleep.

But Foghorn did agree they needed to get back to the hospital. If Yakko woke up again they wanted to try to be there. And he was willing to take him as soon as Wakko agreed to calm down and eat and do all the usual stuff he had to do. He said Yakko probably wouldn't wake up again for a while because he was going to be really tired.

Foghorn did make it quick though; he had taken Wakko to McDonalds. Wakko hadn't minded that too much; he didn't get to go there very often because Yakko said the burgers tasted like they were made of worms and the food was horrible for anyone. He even went through the drive-thru so Wakko had eaten the food with no fuss; no sense in getting himself sick. If he was sick he couldn't talk to Yakko or check on Dot.

And Foghorn had been right; it was almost two-o-clock before Yakko woke up again.

But Wakko didn't care; when they had gone in earlier, before he woke up again Yakko had looked different. He looked like he was more alive; before he had looked like a statue, an exact likeness of his brother but not his brother. Even now, even though he wasn't talking in his sleep or twisting around like he usually did, Yakko looked more...Yakko. At least now his eyelids would flutter every now and then and he had even looked like he was trying to clench his left fist.

It wasn't much, but Wakko was excited none the less.

Wakko studied his brother as he continued to look confused at everyone, his eyes only half open and lying back against a couple of pillows.

Yakko looked better, but still far from great. He was talking like Plucky after Max malleted him. They all liked to see who could take the hardest mallet hit and Plucky liked to boast that he was the toughest of them all. To prove him wrong, one time Max had snuck up and malleted him before Plucky could try to Chuck to protect himself and he had been knocked senseless for a few minutes. Yakko was sort of like that now except that it was going on a lot longer than a few minutes.

Wakko was more concerned because twice now Yakko had drifted off to sleep in the middle of a conversation for a few minutes before groggily waking up to say something from the past conversation. Or to ask where he was again.

The Nurse had told them though that was normal. For a few days Yakko would continue to sleep a lot and be confused. As time went by and he got stronger and better he would stay awake longer and remember more.

Yakko didn't seem to have any memory of the accident, and from what parts Wakko had heard about he thought that was a good idea. Porky had told him that it was Yakko's brain's way of taking care of itself. Since it was traumatizing and hurt Yakko he really wouldn't want to remember it anyway. Wakko had nodded; he had never had anything like this happen to him but honestly, he wished there was a way to forget some things that had happened to him too.

He glanced over at Dot who was still sitting in Porky's arms trying to talk to Yakko.

Wakko felt sorry for his younger sister; no matter how they tried to explain it to her she didn't seem to understand that Yakko was better but far from being able to go home. He had inadvertently upset her earlier too; he had asked how Yakko was going to be able to even get in their home with a broken collar bone. He couldn't climb the ladder and he sure couldn't jump it; no toon could jump that high it didn't matter how skilled they were at Chucking. And what about the show? Yakko couldn't film anything if his arm was screwed up.

Dot had looked at him before nodding and bursting into tears and wondering where Yakko was gonna live and she wasn't going home without him and Wakko had felt like a real idiot. He hadn't meant to upset her; he was just wondering out loud. It had seemed like a good question.

Porky said it was a good question and told Dot to calm down. No one had abandoned them yet; why did she think they would now? They would worry more about where Yakko would stay until he was totally healed and when he was better and could leave the hospital. The show was on 'hiatus'. A few of the other cast members were going to be filming a few shorts to handle the opening of the season, but until everyone knew more about Yakko, the studio was stepping back and waiting.

The three pigeons were happy though; they already had a few short scripts to film and with no new Warner skits being produced, they were assured of getting some additional airtime. Wakko had been angry when Buster had told him about that rumor going around the lot that the pigeons were happy about the current situation.

He had been mad and Dot had been hurt that someone would even say that about her brother. Some of the others had been furious…Slappy had been enraged. Buster had actually cringed and said he regretted saying anything after seeing the squirrel's look, afraid she was going to kill the messenger. Slappy had just patted him on the head and told him not to worry about it; she appreciated the news and she hoped they enjoyed their time in the spotlight now because if she had her way it would be the last time they have it for awhile.

Wakko had nodded to himself; Slappy would take care of it; the pigeons and the show. After his fit the other day he had talked to Foghorn and agreed to try to think before he spoke; no one was going to leave them to fend for themselves. No one had abandoned them to handle this alone; no one had left them alone long enough to do anything. He was lucky he was left alone long enough to take a shower.

He was still staying with Foghorn while Dot had insisted that she wanted to stay with Porky because she said that he was scared and her being there made him feel better.

Wakko didn't really know if that was true or not; he knew Dot really liked Porky. Wakko liked him too, but he thought Porky's anal tendencies about everything would wear on his already strained nerves. He liked Foghorn's more laid back approach to life in general.

Besides, Wakko had opted to continue to stay with Foghorn because the chicken seemed to really like him being there. He shrugged to himself; sure it was along the lines of what Dot said. Maybe it was true; Foghorn had said he was always welcome no matter what happened – any of them were and he wasn't the only one saying that, though he did say Wakko was worrying way too much. He told him to hush and they'd discuss it more later; no sense in getting the 'little miss' upset again or trying to give Yakko something to worry about because he had enough problems right now just trying to follow a simple conversation.

Wakko had felt a little better after that. He hadn't been trying to be rude or anything when he mentioned the show, but it was a good question. What if Yakko couldn't film for awhile? Sure, the _guardian ad slavus _protected them and gave them a place to live, but would it still be active if Yakko was out of commission?

Wakko chewed his lip as he thought. If the studio threw them out then they'd be back on the street. Then they'd have to hide from TIS again. If Yakko was still as loopy as he was right now Wakko had a feeling he might have to handle everything, at least until Yakko got his senses back and that might be awhile even if everyone was telling him this was normal and the doctors were all running tests on him to make sure.

Could he do it? He wasn't sure. He still occasionally played card tricks and such but mostly now if he touched his cards it was because he and some of the others were playing a game. Poker was a favorite even though all four of them cheated and half the time they ended up with about ten aces at the end of the game.

He had tired picking a few pockets here and there – nothing serious and certainly not for money. He did it mostly for a gag like in the 'Draculee, Draculaa' episode, and again on the 'Boot Camping' episode.

He had done it mostly as a lark to make people laugh – the man playing Dracula had thought it was funny. The man playing the drill sergeant had not. That was OK though; Yakko had been annoyed with him for pulling the tricks, but he hadn't liked the man either so he didn't yell at him too much. The most he had done was make him give everything back. Plus everyone else had thought it was amusing and they were left in the final cuts of the episodes.

But he hadn't really tried to pick anyone's pocket; he had tried to do what Yakko said and forget about their former occupation. He didn't want to make Yakko mad, and he had been angry at him for grabbing Sam's wallet at that disaster of a convention. Who knew what he would do if Wakko tried it again?

Wakko wondered if he should have been practicing that skill all this time though. Would they need it?

He tried to calm down, telling himself he was being stupid. He had thrown a tantrum before and he'd insulted everyone that was attempting to help them and gotten Foghorn mad at him. Taking a breath he resolved to wait, talk to him later. That would be better than worrying for nothing; it would be better to just try to stay upbeat so Yakko wouldn't see him looking all depressed and Dot wouldn't be more scared than she already was. Even as messed up as he was, Yakko had been able to sort of tell he and Dot were upset. He hadn't understood why, but he knew. Wakko had a feeling he knew now and the last thing he wanted to do was upset Yakko or Dot.

He turned his head as Yakko spoke again, this time muttering something about not having written a paper. Before anyone could answer him he fell back asleep and Wakko sighed quietly to himself as he exchanged a glance with Dot. Bugs said they should all leave Yakko alone for a little while to rest.

He liked Foghorn. Dot liked Porky. They both liked Bugs. But they loved Yakko.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 27, 1994

"It's Yakko. I know my name. I've known my name was Yakko since the day I woke up; if you can't remember it maybe you need to run a few tests on yourself. I also know who my siblings are, my pants size and the fact that I hate banana-crème pie and I like blondes so don't even ask me about that either. How about doing something helpful and telling me when I'll be getting out of here?"

Yakko heard the Doctor go into his spiel about making sure there was no permanent brain damage and these were the usual questions and that he was the doctor and he knew best and physical therapy.

Sighing Yakko leaned back in the bed, trying to tune him out; there just wasn't much point in paying attention to him if he was going to repeat himself. The man was worse than Plotz.

Shifting in his bed and wincing at the pain that radiated through most of his body at the movement, he thought about the last week, what he could remember of it while the Doctor continued to talk to him.

Four days in a coma; he was probably lucky that there was no brain damage. He almost wished there was; then he wouldn't know any better and feel a sense of embarrassment and frustration that he couldn't even get up and go to the bathroom let alone do anything else. He could hardly move between half his body being bruised and the fact that his right arm was pretty much out of commission for the time being.

Hurting or not if one more doctor came in there and tried to ask him what he remembered or what his name was he would attempt to mallet them. No, probably wouldn't be able to do that; he'd crawl out of the room.

He snickered at the mental image for a minute and then quickly tried to wipe the look off his face at the Doctor's glare.

No sense of humor. He was lying in a hospital bed and laughing at himself after one of the worst weeks of his entire life. The doctor could piss off if he didn't like it. Yakko wasn't in one of his most charitable moods right now.

Why should he be? He'd apparently had his clock cleaned by a UPS truck. He had then woken in the middle of the night after having said clock-cleaning to find he was wearing a damn diaper in a hospital room with tubes shoved up his nose. The nurses had to keep lubing up his eyes and lips when he was unconscious so they wouldn't dry out. The doctors seemed to be getting some perverse pleasure out of asking him the most asinine questions they could dream up and not giving him any answers like when he could leave out of this hell. He hated hospital food with the fiery hot intensity of a thousand suns. He hated being poked and prodded. He hated not being able to talk to Wakko and Dot whenever he wanted by himself. He hated wearing the hospital gown.

He couldn't even take care of his siblings which hurt him as much as it annoyed him. His initial panic of what had happened to them when he was off in la-la land had faded immediately when he had been informed that Foghorn and Porky had taken them into their own homes for the time being. Yakko had almost sagged in relief; both his sibs would be taken care of by them.

Then it had drifted off into annoyance – they shouldn't have to be taken care of by anyone else. He was supposed to do it; he'd always done it. He'd been hurt on set a few times and gotten sick countless times over the years but he could still do the cooking and laundry and read Dot a story.

Of course he had never been knocked this senseless before. Damn careless UPS truck. Screw it; he didn't have much opportunity to ship anything but if he ever did he was definitely using FedEx.

Pleased with himself for coming up with that bit of revenge no matter how childish it sounded, he turned back to the Doctor who was now saying something about his latest neurological test. Yakko tried to pay attention to him; he really didn't understand what the Doctor was talking about and cared even less. He just wanted the man to hurry up and leave; if he left then his visitors could come in. Sure, Dot could talk about clothing and dolls and her friends a bit too much and half the time Yakko had no clue what Wakko was chattering about, but they were both a lot more entertaining to listen to than a lecture on EEG's and graphs and the Rancho Los Amigos Scale which up until it was explained to him he had thought was some form of chip dip.

"Do you understand what I just said Yakko?"

Yakko turned his head quickly toward the Doctor and regretted it; moving too fast gave him a worse headache and made everything hurt again. He nodded slowly though; not only to keep his head from shaking any more than it needed to, but also because he was afraid if he didn't the Doctor might start talking again.

Since he hadn't heard the words 'you can go home now' in what he had been paying attention to he really didn't want him to repeat the entire thing. He pushed back the feeling he had of being a hypocrite; he was always telling Wakko to pay attention to the doctors and here he was daydreaming during a lecture that involved his brain.

Maybe he had some brain damage after all.

Amused he watched the man give him a hard look and Yakko had the distinct impression that the Doctor knew that he hadn't been paying a bit of attention and that he was just trying to hurry him out of there. As long as he didn't ask him to repeat anything back he'd be all right.

Yakko settled back into the pillows as the doctor turned to leave, saying he'd send in his visitors. Yakko nodded; Wakko and Dot were outside in the waiting room.

Glancing up on his pillow he spied Cupcake and grinned to himself. He would have reached up and grabbed the bear, but that just seemed like it would take an extraordinary amount of effort on his part and he was going to try to stay awake for longer than ten minutes at one time.

Today was the first day he had actually felt…better than usual. He still felt like he had taken a header off the tower and didn't bother Chucking himself, but since yesterday he felt like he had done the same thing off the Sears Tower he assumed it was an improvement.

He had been surprised when he first noticed that Dot had left the bear there. Even in his groggy state he knew that Dot probably wouldn't have left her behind no matter how upset she had been. He had told her to take the bear back – after all it was hers – but she refused to budge on removing it. She said that Cupcake was there to watch over him until he woke up and felt better; in the meantime she had the stuffed horse he had bought her.

On one hand he felt sort of silly; here he was a teenager and he had a little pink bear sitting on his bed like a schoolgirl.

On the other hand it made him feel a lot better.

Wakko had whispered to him he still had his bunny and Yakko could have it if he wanted it. Apparently Wakko thought it was silly and hadn't wanted to put it on his bed when he was unconscious because he said Yakko might feel stupid if someone came in and saw it but he could take it now if he wanted it. Wakko had even offered to crawl under the sheets and put it down there so no one would see it.

Yakko had told him as tempting as the offer was he'd pass; he still had to wear the ridiculous hospital gown. That was traumatizing enough. But he thanked him for the thought and was secretly pleased that Wakko was willing to share the bunny with him. Yakko had caught him a few times in the past with the bunny. Of course Wakko said he wasn't doing anything with it or he was just moving it out of the way or hand him some other hair-brained reason as to why he had it out but Yakko just let it go.

But looking at Dot's bear again he frowned, thinking about his siblings.

He assumed he would recover at some point; he hoped so anyway. He missed running around doing his normal routine and he'd only been in the hospital a week.

He thought his mind was fine; he remembered everything up to the accident, or so he believed, but if he had brain damage he assumed he'd probably be confused on that. He remembered his family, he remembered teaching Wakko and Dot to walk and talk and read and everything else. He remembered his first kiss. He remembered getting squirrelly in the backseat of a Buick with the 'Princess of Props'. All highlights of his life as far as he was concerned.

He remembered everything. He even remembered talking to Bugs about how the rabbit got the most interesting community service Yakko had ever heard about. There was just a big void between that and waking up in the hospital which was a nasty shock.

He was positive he had no brain damage.

He was hoping his body would recover just as well. The thought of having to have his arm strapped to his body and using the bathroom in a bottle for the rest of his life really made him want to jump out the window. He was only on the second floor so he wasn't sure how well that would go for him but it was still a depressing thought.

More depressing though was what could have happened. No one intends on getting in an accident; as pissed as he was about the situation he knew that this delivery truck wasn't trying to take him and Bugs out. It was a wonder Bugs actually wasn't at fault; the rabbit had told him what happened and that the police had charged the other driver with failure to maintain control.

But if nothing else it also showed Yakko that something like this could happen at any time; he could be hurt too badly to function or worst case…killed. Hell, not even in a car accident; Mama Cass had choked on a ham sandwich. One of his ancestors had chocked on popcorn while watching a movie. He'd like to think he wouldn't go out like that and it would be something a bit more…manly, but he could.

If something like that did happen though, what would happen to Wakko and Dot? Sure, Foghorn and Porky had both grabbed them – apparently without them even knowing it – but would they be willing to take care of each of them every day, at least until they turned eighteen and could handle themselves? If not, would the studio? Or would they be sent off to either live on the streets or put back in the TIS system, separated and alone? Would someone else take them in, watch over them with the same care he had always done?

Yakko frowned as another thought came barging in his head; Dad.

He was due to get out of Panic Pen in a few years. Yakko thought back to their court date – every single one of those parents that had bothered to show up had gotten their kids back with just a promise of 'I'll be good'. Despite how poor a job he was doing Dad could have gotten them back if he had bothered to show up.

Yakko shook his head; one of the fathers that had shown up that day had been accused of sexual misconduct and still was able to get his two daughters back with nothing more than his assurance to the Court that he would be available for counseling and that he would actually open the door when a TIS employee came by to do a spot check. He hadn't been paying much attention at the time due to being so anxious about him and his siblings, but he remembered it.

Unfortunately, much like the human's Social Services department, it could be very easy to get your children back whether you deserved them or not. Even more unfortunate was that JTCS could be more forgiving than the human's court system. It was TIS and JTCS's intention to find the children homes, even if those homes meant reuniting children with parents that shouldn't have them. Yakko wished they made people take a test before they were allowed to get pregnant; it would save a lot of heartache.

Yakko had every intention of trying to gain custody of them when he came of age, but if he wasn't there and something else wasn't lined up for them who knows what could happen. When Dad got out all he might have to do is petition the Court for a hearing, promise to behave and have Wakko and Dot handed over to him. He cringed at the thought; he had little doubt that even now his father was as shiftless and crooked as the day he had run out on them in Wishing-Star District.

Head reeling at these new thoughts Yakko tried to think of what to do and in the back of his mind he wondered where these thoughts were coming from. Maybe it was the pain killers they were keeping him half doped up on. He wished they were stronger; his shoulder was killing him.

Whatever it was though he was glad it was doing the trick – maybe he needed the accident to give him a kick in the ass. Why hadn't he ever thought about this before? He knew he wasn't invincible.

Even if Dad managed to really screw up and was required to stay in for his full sentence, when he got out Wakko would be about thirteen; Dot would be ten. Dad would have plenty of time to corrupt them, or at the very least get his hands on their savings accounts which Yakko was pretty sure would be the only reason that Dad would bother to get custody in the first place.

Visions of an alcoholic gambler Wakko and a drunken prostitute Dot sprung into his head unwillingly and he almost sat up. Almost – the pain radiating down his back stopped his movements.

Not his mind though. He needed to talk to someone – not them. He wasn't sure how great a job he was doing – he constantly had doubts about his abilities when it came to dealing with raising his siblings - but he was relatively certain he would do a better job blundering through it than Dad could ever dream of.

His brother wasn't going to become Chico Marx anymore than Dot was going to be a kinder-whore. Not on his watch.

He had to figure out something. Quickly. He'd never sleep again if he didn't.

"Hey Doc?"

The doctor turned back to him looking surprised. Yakko couldn't blame the guy; he hadn't exactly been receptive anytime the man had come into his room.

"Can you send Bugs in? I want to talk to him – just for a second. Alone."

At the Doctor's nod Yakko sat back into the pillows, trying to ignore his throbbing shoulder and the needle that was still shoved into his hand and waited for Bugs to show up, hoping the rabbit would have an answer of what he should do.

XXXXXXXXXX

"-and then Buster brought the cards over!" Dot exclaimed happily. "And he said I was the only one that could deliver them not even Wakko! And I bet it made you feel better knowing that even Wakko's idiot friends were worried huh?"

_Surprisingly it does. Which shocks the crap out of me._

He realized that Wakko's friends liked him. The girls routinely giggled when he showed up near them or talked to them or if he just happened to walk across the parking lot and looked at them. The boys – Wakko included – tried to spy on him no matter what he was doing. He could be talking to a girl or just eating a sandwich; they'd want to know what he was doing. He supposed since he was one of the only 'older' boys they knew so they would just latch onto him; he figured he should feel special that they seemed to hold him in such high regard despite the fact that it was annoying most times.

No, he liked them well enough. He just didn't think any of them had enough brain cells between them most times to actually get him cards. He had actually been shocked when he'd first seen the cards in envelopes, stacked neatly next to the handmade ones from the smaller children.

He'd have to thank all the little runts when he was able to talk to them. Not the girls; he'd say 'thank you' to Babs and Elmyra nicely and have them giggling while they applied another layer of Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers to their mouths during lunch.

It really was hard being the oldest. Especially when your kid brother's little friends wanted to giggle every time you walked into the cafeteria.

"Hey my friends aren't idiots! Yeah Yakko – and hey! Buster and I went through all the flowers for you and started writing out thank you notes so you don't have to do it!"

_Can't believe they actually did that._

Yakko wondered if anyone bothered to check to see what Wakko and Buster actually wrote. Both boys were intelligent, but they both were subject to fits of insanity at inappropriate times. Not that he wasn't appreciative but he hoped they didn't write 'thanks for the flowers, buttface' and signed his name to it. Not only would people think he used the word 'buttface' as an insult and that he wasn't grateful for their best wishes, they'd think he had bad penmanship to boot.

He decided not to be too worried about it; either way it was one less 'thank you' card he had to write.

He watched his siblings, Dot standing in a chair and leaning on the bed still talking while Wakko bounced around, hopping up on his toes so he could see over the bed and he smiled to himself, satisfied.

They both looked happier than they had the last couple of days. His memory was a little hazy from when he first saw them Tuesday afternoon but he did remember that they didn't look their normal selves. Dot had been huddled in Porky's arms crying half the time. Wakko had been standing by the bed trying to hide the fact he was crying half the time. They had both looked so bad their ears had been drooping, eyes dull and red-rimmed while they talked to him in quiet voices.

That wasn't Wakko and Dot. Even though he knew he was being ridiculous he felt bad because they were in that condition because of him.

He supposed seeing your older brother knocked out in a hospital bed would do that. He remembered the time they had gone to the hospital when Wakko was first diagnosed with Diabetes and felt even more sorry for Dot. She now had witnessed both brothers in the hospital. He sincerely hoped that he or Wakko never had to live through her being in one.

"-and Molly said I had to give you this."

Surprised Yakko snapped back to the conversation as Dot leaned over and planted the wettest kiss he had ever felt on his cheek. He wondered if Molly had sent the drool or if that was courtesy of Dot. He grimaced as he felt his face fur get soaked in a perfect little 'o' on the side of his cheek and sighed.

"And this one's from me."

Yakko felt another perfect drippy 'o' on his cheek and figured he just had his answer. He decided he didn't mind it too much; she was looking so much more animated than he had seen her in the past few days he would probably let her do just about anything to him at the moment and suffer through it.

"Hey Yakko? How come you wanted to see Bugs huh? He was in here almost forty minutes."

Yakko turned to look at Wakko who was hopping up and down beside the bed, more hyper than a Jack Russell who had gotten into a cup of cappuccino.

"Just needed to talk to him about a potential problem-"

"What?" Dot asked. "He isn't still making you write that paper you didn't do?"

He probably would at some point Yakko knew; he just hoped it would be when he was out of the hospital.

He looked at Dot, then back to Wakko. Should he tell them? He could talk around this; it wasn't a lie really – he was trying to protect them.

The rabbit had been stunned about what Yakko wanted to talk to him about. It hadn't helped that it had taken almost ten minutes for Bugs to get in the room and Yakko was a wreck by the time he arrived, practically in a screaming panic because of new 'what if' scenarios that had popped into his head while he was waiting for him.

After Bugs had managed to get him calmed down he had wanted to talk to him. Rationally. He said if Yakko didn't calm down he would have the doctors sedate him. He added he knew that it could be done.

Yakko didn't know what he was referring to but managed to get himself under control enough to discuss the worry with the rabbit.

Bugs thought he was worrying way too much about what might have happened or what could have happened. Or he thought he was worrying too much while he was still sitting in a hospital bed, believing that they should hold off on talking about it until Yakko was able to actually dress himself without assistance, but he was adamant. For all he knew he might slip back into the coma tonight. Of course he had been told the odds of that happening were pretty slim, but he wasn't taking any chances. He felt better that someone else was aware of the problem.

Bugs had nodded, not liking the discussion but agreeing that perhaps they should take steps just in case. Yakko had been taken aback when Bugs said he would check into a few things and if it would calm him down would he have any objections if he became the _Canonicus Custos_ for Wakko and Dot.

When Yakko asked him to explain Bugs had simply shrugged and said it would be another legal form for him to sign, but if – and only if – something ever happened to Yakko, they would be taken care of. Bugs would have legal custody in the event of Yakko's unexpected illness or untimely demise. It didn't mean Dad or someone else couldn't fight him for custody, but it was a measure of protection, at least for now.

It helped get rid of the throbbing headache anyway.

Yakko had almost crippled himself trying to hug Bugs who shrugged and said he liked the munchkins. If Yakko was that worried about it – and he seemed to be since he was actually babbling – he'd get more information about it anyway. If Yakko promised to calm down or Bugs would have to see about having him committed.

Yakko calmed instantly. If nothing else he at least made the problem known and if anything ever happened to him he'd be relived to know that Bugs would handle the situation. He had no doubts that Bugs would take better care of Wakko and Dot than anyone else, and was secretly honored that the rabbit had stepped up and offered. All Yakko had wanted was to talk to someone about it for a minute and figure out what his next steps should be.

And Bugs had told him that he did a better job with Wakko and Dot than most people he knew twice his age; he never had to be worried or ashamed about that. The only thing he had to be ashamed about was his own feelings of inadequacy – they weren't warranted.

Bugs did say they would deal with it more when he was out of the hospital. If Yakko was interested and that worried about these things he should also consider having an attorney draft up a will. Yakko had nodded; it was a good idea.

Still looking at Wakko and Dot he licked his lips. No, he didn't need to tell them. He had only just come out of a coma, they had been scared out of their minds for days and now they looked to be going back to their usual happy selves. Why ruin that?

"Yeah, sister sib, still gotta write the paper. Just later on; he's not that much of a taskmaster."

Looking satisfied with that answer Dot smiled before leaning on the bed and looking into his face as he laid back, the tip of her tail twitching back and forth as she ran her finger down his ear.

"Hey Yakko? Did you like it?"

Yakko turned his head to look down at Wakko who was jumping up and down again. Yakko was briefly reminded of the first time he had given Wakko a soda so long ago and tried not to laugh too much as his ears flopped in his face and he chanted his name.

"Like what Wakko?"

"The song. I had to go find the music for it and practice it. Did you like it?"

"What song?"

He didn't remember him playing any song.

Wakko stopped bouncing and stood back up on his toes to look at him.

"That song from that movie you like." After a minute he asked quietly, "Didn't you hear it? They said if we talked to you and if I played for you you'd hear it and be happy."

"Yeah," Dot added, stopping her ear petting to lean the full weight of her body onto the bed and peer into his face. "Didn't you hear us talking to you? I told you a story one day and I left Cupcake on your pillow. Wakko played his violin. Don't you remember?"

Yakko looked at them shocked. He didn't know either of them had done anything. He assumed they were in there crying and waiting around for him to come back to the land of the living, but he hadn't even been aware that they had actively tried to make him feel better like that.

Staring into their faces for a second he thought quickly. Much like with worrying about his own mortality and what would happen to them if something happened to him, he really didn't see any need to tell them that he had no idea what they were talking about. Apparently he hadn't even been aware that he spent four days studying the back of his own eye-lids; did they really need to know that?

He just hurt their feelings and hadn't meant to. He could be honest and tell them no; one of his pet peeves was them lying to him. He expected them to never lie to him; he gave them the same courtesy.

In this one case a lie was appropriate.

A small one of course.

"Course I heard you two." At their looks he added, "Come on, what do you think finally made me wake up, huh?"

_Time to start backpedaling Yakko._

"Come on – you know I love listening to you play Wakko! Soon as I heard the song I felt better; I was just still too tired to do anything. And you Dot – you know I like listening to the stories you make up! About the unicorn right?"

It was a safe guess; anything Dot came up with had a unicorn in it.

At her nod he smiled and said, "See? I was just confused for awhile." Making an attempt to hug her he buried his face in her hair while he put his hand on Wakko's head. "What - you think I forgot about you guys or something? Come on, get real."

Still nuzzling Dot's head while rubbing Wakko's head he said softly, "You know I love you guys right?"

_Never say that enough to them._

Getting their nods and mumbles back that they loved him too he just held them for a few moments, trying to push back the thought that he was spewing enough sap to keep an IHOP stocked for a month and happy that he was awake and conscious enough to enjoy the quite time with his siblings and satisfied with himself about being concerned about their futures.

_End Chapter 27_


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 28 – Grown Up

January 4, 1995

"You'll see Yakko, it's gonna be great! You're gonna be really excited!"

_About what? The five inches of dust on everything?_

"Yeah Wakko, gonna be nice to get back home again."

_Because I adore sweeping._

Yakko grimaced to himself at the thought as he followed his delighted brother across the lot. He needed to kill his own attitude; Wakko and Dot were excited – apparently at the prospect of finally returning to their normal lives and routines. Why make them upset because he was grumpy?

He hadn't been home in almost four months. With his arm being in the sling he hadn't been able to get up the ladder of his own home. Even if his arm hadn't been in the sling the doctors had been worried for months about brain damage and had imposed a no heights rule on him. While he had thrown a fit about it he hadn't secretly minded too much; for weeks after he got out of the hospital he had been dizzy getting out of bed. The last thing he needed was to fall off the ladder and end up back in the hospital. Two weeks of that was more than enough to last him a lifetime.

Luckily Bugs had once again stepped up to help, offering to have him stay at his place until his recovery was complete. While the rabbit had mostly left him to his own devices if he chose, he had made sure that Yakko went to every doctor appointment, MRI, CT Scan, and any other test the doctors had been able to dream up. Yakko wasn't sure how many tests he had been forced to endure.

Bugs had also made sure he had gone to every physical therapy session no matter how painful or boring it was. At one point Yakko had tried refusing to go, even attempting a Dot-like maneuver of refusing to get out of the car once they arrived at the session, he had been so desperate to get out of it. Unfortunately, Bugs had either anticipated such a maneuver or he was tired of dealing with his whining about it.

Fritzing something and holding it behind his back he had told him to either get out of the car and stop acting like a baby or he'd regret it. When Yakko had tried to crawl in the backseat Bugs had grabbed him, slapped a bonnet on him and thrown a pacifier in his mouth before hauling him out of the vehicle and hoisting him over his shoulder while whistling and waving to get everyone in the parking lot's attention.

Yakko - thoroughly embarrassed - had quickly agreed to go to the session; he really didn't want that to get on the gossip shows. He could just see the headlines now: _Yakko Warner hoisted over shoulders of biggest toon star in world while dressed like little sister's doll. _

Yeah. That'll have the girls crawling all over him.

Though annoyed with the rabbit's method of getting him out of the car no matter how childish he was being, the rest of his extended stay at Bugs' house had been pleasant. The first month Wakko and Dot had continued to stay with their tutors; Bugs was still too sore to really handle two rambunctious children while dealing with a moody Yakko. After the rabbit recovered sufficiently they had flip-flopped between the houses which had suited Yakko fine.

It had gone surprisingly well. Other than Wakko getting in trouble one time for trying to leave the house to sneak off and see his friends after Foghorn told him he couldn't until he did his homework, the rooster said he had enjoyed having 'the boy' over. Wakko had seemed to enjoy it; he got to help Foghorn on whatever automotive project he had going on at the time in-between playing ball and doing schoolwork and whatever else crossed his little fancy. At night apparently Wakko ended up falling asleep in Foghorn's lap half the time watching 'SportsCenter', which Yakko had found adorable and Wakko had found embarrassing.

Porky had also seemed to get along well with Dot staying at his place, though she had gotten the pig angry at her when she had decided to try to ride Bergen by herself. Apparently she had been trying to beg, bribe or plead with Porky to let her ride the animal for days unsuccessfully and the pig had said no; she was too small and unskilled to handle him.

But Dot seemed to be in a 'prove them wrong' phase and had waited until she thought Porky was sufficiently distracted elsewhere before running out to the barn and saddling the animal up. Yakko had been amazed that she actually had been able to saddle the animal; he would have asked how the hell she managed to pull that off, but was afraid of whatever answer he would have gotten.

It hadn't gone well for her though; according to Porky she had almost instantly lost her seat and gone crashing to the ground. The pig had apparently been dashing into the barn to find her after realizing he had been duped and had witnessed the fall.

Yakko had almost had a heart attack when told, images of a splattered sister being trampled into the dirt flashing through his head, but Porky had told him that other than a few bumps and bruises Dot was fine. Though from Porky's voice Yakko could tell that he hadn't been pleased, which once and for all put any question of 'did Porky actually have it in him to get mad?' to rest. Up until he had spoken to him regarding that incident Yakko had serious doubts.

He had been more than willing to let Foghorn and Porky dish out whatever punishments they wanted to; Wakko and Dot were under their care. If his siblings wanted to act up at their houses, it seemed like it was only fair they got to decide what consequences went along with it. And that also meant for once he didn't have to be the bad guy. He trusted the two adults; the odds were astronomical that they would be overly harsh. And all the adults had done their best to shield Wakko and Dot from the more horrific aspects of the crash, the tests, and the recovery for which he would be eternally grateful for. They didn't need to know about most of that.

He adored his siblings; he wanted to know where they were at all times and that they were safe. If they were somewhere safe and he didn't have to be responsible for them every single waking moment he was more than all right with that. Even he wanted a break sometimes.

Not that he didn't care about them; in early December Bugs had taken him to go sign the paperwork. Bugs was now the official _Canonicus Custos_ for Wakko and Dot. If anything ever happened to Yakko, no matter what the circumstances they would immediately be put under Bugs' care, at least temporarily. Yakko had breathed a sigh of relief when he was given certified copies of that; even if he dropped dead tomorrow, both his younger siblings would have some assurance of a future, even if the show was cancelled and the studio booted them out into the streets.

Yes, someone – especially a family member – could fight for custody and potentially win or the Courts could come in and take them, but like Bugs said, he wasn't exactly a pauper and he certainly wasn't without friends in some high places himself. The rabbit had said he wasn't even bragging; it was the truth and if it was to keep Wakko and Dot together in the event of Yakko being unavailable for whatever reason he would be more than willing to call in a few favors that needed to be repaid.

He owed the rabbit a debt which he didn't think he'd ever be able to repay. While Bugs had waved it off and not given it a second thought it was actually an incredible worry off Yakko's mind. And the rabbit had even talked to the attorney about having a will drafted up for Yakko that he had to approve; mostly everything he owned went to Wakko and Dot to be divided evenly between the two, but it was just one more loose end to tie up and one less thing to worry about.

That was all done on days that his siblings hadn't been at Bugs' house since they were bouncing all over the place, but it did give the rabbit an idea of what he put up with on a daily basis. Bugs had actually said they weren't too much trouble. They hadn't been really.

Oddly enough, he had probably been the biggest pain in the ass out of the three of them. He hadn't been attempting to outdo his siblings but he was pretty sure he had tried Bugs' patience more than once. Between the recovery from the accident, not being able to handle his usual routines, stress about the studio and the show, his worries about his siblings and what Bugs had jokingly referred to as 'growing pains' Yakko knew he had been a moody snot for a large portion of the time he was at the rabbit's house.

He was on the verge of becoming a moody snot again too; the studio had put off any further filming of 'Animaniacs' for the season because they were still concerned about his recovery despite the fact that the doctors had released him with just the stipulation that he had to return in three months and six months for routine check-ups.

Yakko sighed; only four episodes for the entire second season and only two of them contained any sort of 'Warner Brothers and Sister' short, one new, two recycled from the shorts they had filmed for ToonTown broadcast, and someone finally decided the 'I'm Mad' skit should be thrown on the airwaves to fill out the last episode.

He had noticed there was a higher than normal amount of 'GoodFeathers' shorts for the second season, but hadn't understood why that seemed to anger Bugs and Slappy so much. He was more annoyed they wouldn't tell him why. Even Wakko and Dot seemed ticked off about it. He shrugged to himself; someone would hopefully tell him. Eventually. Maybe he could bribe it out of Wakko the next time he got in trouble.

He decided to not fuss about any of it, at least right now; he had woken yesterday morning to find out he had several pimples – his first. Another milestone in his life; wasn't he lucky.

While the raised reddened bumps were ugly when he parted his fur to look at them in the mirror and painful when he scratched at them, they were hidden under his fur and no one could see them. He hoped.

He was also going through an odd growth spurt and his hands and feet suddenly felt like they had gotten twice as large as they needed to be. From what information he had been able to glean from the library, and a more-amused-than-he-had-any-right-to-be Bugs, he had found it was supposedly normal.

But he really didn't want to have to film the show with gigantic hands and feet and a pus filled face and everything else that seemed to be irritating him at the moment even though he knew deep down that it probably wasn't that noticeable and he was just being a cranky hormonal bastard at the moment.

All in all, going through puberty right in the public eye sucked. The less time he spent on film right now the better he'd feel.

Watching Wakko make his way up the ladder Yakko sighed again and began to follow, wincing at the slight pain that ran through his collar bone as he began to climb. He almost shuddered to think of how dirty the tower was going to be. Four months of not being dusted. He knew the refrigerator was going to smell awful. He would probably have a boatload of laundry to do. He'd be amazed if there wasn't fungus growing in the bathtub.

He turned, seeing that Bugs had Fritzed a parachute for a sulking Dot. Yakko smirked to himself; Dot had finally gotten her mallet for her seventh birthday. Her pies weren't perfect but close enough that Yakko had decided to go ahead and give it to her. Neither his nor Wakko's pies had been perfect when they got their mallets; he wasn't going to hold it against her that they still had a slightly runny consistency. She'd get it in time.

Unfortunately she seemed to think getting her mallet meant she was home free and could now do whatever she wanted. Yakko didn't think the fact that she could now hit her finger with a hammer and Chuck in time to avoid hurting the digit was the same as being able to save herself if she slipped and fell off the ladder. He had no desire to pick her up off the pavement with a sponge; she wore the parachute, he didn't care how much she whined it was unfair.

As Dot began to follow him up the ladder, Bugs bringing up the rear Yakko glanced down at her. She seemed to have gotten over the sulk because she shot him a wide grin and said something about it was 'gonna be really neat and you'll love it'.

He nodded at her while wondering why everyone thought it was going to be really neat cleaning a home that hadn't been touched in so long. The only reason they still had their utilities was because Nurse Miller had been coming by to get the mail for him. And his clothes; he tried to remember that she was a nurse. She'd seen pretty much everything there was to see on a body he doubted his boxers were the most shocking thing she had ever laid her eyes on. Still didn't stop him from being somewhat embarrassed about the whole thing.

Reaching the top he stood on the landing and waited for Dot and Bugs to arrive. He had tried to tell Bugs he didn't need to come up; the rabbit had a busy schedule now between shooting the new movie and a new short but the rabbit had insisted.

Yakko had cracked up at the whole idea of Bugs being in a Casablanca parody. He cracked up even more at the idea that Penelope was his love interest and that she was actually going to speak in the role.

Bugs had even brought him to the set a few times for both features which had been a welcome diversion. If Yakko couldn't film his own show, at least he got to watch Bugs filming his. And he had been able to finally meet Michael Jordon, who was as pleasant as Bugs had said he was and the man hadn't seemed too fazed to find out Yakko had never bothered to watch a basketball game in his life. Unfortunately that had made Wakko whine about how unfair it was and Bugs had to schedule a second field trip to haul him and Buster over to meet the man.

Dot reached the top and quickly shed the parachute before running to stand next to a happily bouncing Wakko. Bugs more sedately walked over to him.

"Let's go Yakko! You first!" Dot said.

Yakko raised an eyebrow at her but nodded. Chances were the only reason she wanted him to go first was because he was stronger and could open the door. That and the stench of the fruit rotting on the kitchen table would probably be so strong he'd topple over the railing. He probably should have asked Nurse Miller to throw anything perishable out.

Figuring he was going to spend the next week killing the multitude of creepy-crawlies that no doubt infiltrated the tower and he may as well just get used to it he grasped the door and pulled it open, delighted that he was actually home. He enjoyed staying at Bugs' house, but there was just something about the feeling of coming back to your own place. Even if it was filthy and he was going to knock himself back into a coma the first time he hit his head on the damn bunk-

"Surprise!"

"Jesus Christ!"

Shocked, Yakko felt himself almost thrown backwards by the shouts coming from inside his door. He managed to glimpse Kit and Buster and maybe Slappy with Brain and another mouse sitting on her hat before he stumbled backwards a few steps, hearing Wakko yelp as he accidentally stepped on his toes while Dot laughed.

"Yakko! Language!"

"Sorry Bugs," Yakko said, panting and clutching his chest with one hand while leaning on the door of the tower. Brilliant; first day home and they decided to give him a coronary and send him back to the hospital. "Just didn't expect to get jumped stepping into my own home."

"Told ya Yakko it was gonna be faboo!"

"Yeah Wak yeah, faboo," Yakko muttered, trying to see exactly how many people were in the tower. From where he was standing it looked like the place was full.

"Welcome home Yakko," Mr. Bunny said, stepping out onto the landing and shaking his hand.

Still a bit befuddled Yakko shook it momentarily while wondering why all these people were in his house. Yes, he hadn't been home and they should all understand why the place was a wreck, but he really just didn't want that many people there seeing his home in the state of disrepair.

"Thanks Mr. Bunny-"

"Welcome back squirt," Slappy said, slapping him on the back. "Knew Bugs would get tired of you sooner or later."

"Hi Yakko! See me Yakko?" Molly screamed from somewhere behind the crowd of people.

Yakko looked down to see her pushing her way through to him, sending the taller toons side-stepping out of her path.

Throwing her arms around his legs she screamed, "We cleaned the tower for you! I helped with the 'frigerator and you should thank me because there was stuff growing and your apples had turned all brown and mushy and I think there was a tree growing in your cheese and-"

"Molly, honey, let him get in the house," Ms. Cunningham said, coming over to gently push her daughter off him. "Welcome home sweetie."

"Thanks. Really – I appreciate that."

He definitely appreciated it. He wasn't sure what Molly was talking about this time, but he knew he really didn't feel like chopping a tree down in his 'frigerator'.

"Yes Yakko, welcome back home. It is a great pleasure for all of us to see you back and looking in fine form," Brain said from the top of Slappy's hat, one hand holding on to her flower, the other around a rather attractive blond mouse that looked vaguely familiar to Yakko.

Yakko nodded to both of them.

"If you would Yakko, please hold out your hand; I wish to introduce you to someone."

Yakko did as Brain asked, feeling the slight weight as the mouse stepped onto his glove. Brain had told him before that he rarely held enough trust for most people to stand in their hands; not only was there a great chance of being dropped, but he also said he felt it was undignified. Yakko had known Brain for almost six months before the mouse would occasionally ask to be held up to Yakko's face – usually to tell him something extremely important.

Other than himself Yakko had never seen anyone under the age of at least thirty hold Brain. The mouse was a pro at Chucking –he needed to be from the amount of abuse he took on the set – but he was extremely careful of his safety. Yakko supposed if he was only a few inches high he'd probably be pretty worried about it himself.

After Brain had stepped onto his hand he turned to hold his hand out to the female, who delicately stepped onto Yakko's glove while flashing him a smile.

"Thank you. Now then, it is with no small amount of pleasure that I introduce you to my fiancé." Taking a deep breath before putting his arm around the smiling girl, Brain said, "Yakko, please meet Gadget Hackwrench. She has consented to be my bride."

Yakko took a deep breath himself. Brain must really trust him if he was allowing him to hold both himself and his future wife in the palm of his hand.

"Congratulations Brain," he said. "Nice to meet you Miss-"

"It's Gadget," she said airily while smiling and cuddling up to Brain. "Golly! I was happy to hear you were doing better and that I got to come meet you." Turning from Brain for a moment to grin at him with a toothy smile, she added, "My Brain speaks very highly of you."

Well, that's nice anyway; Yakko was rather pleased to hear that.

For all the mouse's big words and reserved personality, Yakko was starting to include him in his growing list of close friends, having met him several times for coffee on set. Perhaps not as close as Bugs or even Slappy – but he was definitely moving toward the top of the list. Brain had come to visit him several times while he was in the hospital, one time riding in on the cart a nurse had wheeled to his room delivering his lunch.

Pinky and his wife had also visited as well. Yakko also liked Pinky – it was hard not to with his scatter-brained personality and his affinity for yelping out 'Narf' whenever someone said something he particularly liked – but he held a great deal more respect for Brain. He also liked Pinky's wife Oliva Flaversham and while the woman seemed friendly with her slight Scottish brogue and caring motherly ways she didn't have the infectious charm that Gadget seemed to possess.

Plus she seemed to be bringing out a softer side to the usually stoic Brain. He wasn't exactly an oozing puddle of love-goo at her feet, but he appeared to be content. Yakko nodded at them.

"Gadget then. It's very nice to meet you-"

"I would have introduced you sooner, but I did not wish to subject you to the stress of meeting additional people while you were recuperating. I am pleased that you have now been able to meet the jewel of my life."

_Wow, Brain's a real Casanova under his standoffish personality._

"What's going on Yakko?"

Yakko looked down, having momentarily forgotten about Wakko and Dot. He held Brain and Gadget down so that they could speak to Wakko and Dot. Yakko lifted them slightly higher when Buster, Plucky, Max and Molly came running out to see what was happening – excited children got grabby - and he wondered again how many people were crammed into his home.

When he saw Porky talking to Ms. Cunningham and Foghorn over by the couch he sighed again. Not that he didn't appreciate the welcome home – far from it – but he hoped they didn't go to any trouble for him.

Remembering that Molly had apparently had to play lumberjack in his refrigerator though he had a feeling that they probably had.

Brain seemed to have finished talking to all the younger children – the girls thinking it was sweet and romantic, the boys offering dull 'uh….congratulations I guess' before mumbling to each other about how mushy it was.

Sharing a smirk with Bugs and Slappy, Yakko raised his hand up to Slappy's hat so Brain and Gadget could hop back over and he was quickly ushered into the tower for his 'welcome home' party.

XXXXXXXXXX

"-and anyway, like I was trying to tell you before, this chick grabbed my-"

Yakko smirked at Kit's rather graphic version of his latest tryst, this time with the cashier at the new cookie store that had opened at _The Harnell_.

Yakko was almost tempted to ask if anything had shrunk in the refrigerator during the bear's escapade, but with the way Kit liked to share any and all information he'd probably hear way more than he wanted. If half of what Kit told him was true there was no way he was ever getting anything to eat from there.

If you can't tell the difference between the grease used in the kitchen and… other stuff … it simply wasn't sanitary enough for his taste.

Yakko leaned back against the railing and looked over at Kit who was now talking about how great a lover he was and tried to refrain from rolling his eyes. He wondered what Disney would really say if they knew the sweet cuddly Kit Cloudkicker was a bigger skirt chaser than Pepe La Pew.

As Kit continued to talk, Yakko glanced behind him, looking at the view of the lot. He had missed it. When he wanted to get away from Wakko and Dot for a few minutes and just needed to be alone, he frequently liked to come out on the landing. It was hardly a luxury vacation spot, but just standing out there alone for awhile with the slight breeze ruffling his ears and hearing the various noises that came from living on a major working studio usually helped calm him down.

And he was glad he had thought about coming out here. Wakko and his little posse of nuts had been driving him crazy. Now that he was home and mostly healed they had decided to up their being a gigantic-pain-in-the-tail game and had been following him or spying on him since he stepped into the tower.

He had almost wringed their necks earlier when he and Kit had decided to escape to the bedroom for a few minutes to get away from everyone and just talk. He had been grateful to everyone; the tower was spotless; probably cleaner than the day they had moved in. Someone had even turned all the mattresses.

It seemed almost everyone had brought something to eat; hell, even Plotz had sent over a meat and cheese tray. And it was actually from Plotz, not the studio which had surprised the hell out of Yakko. The man had even sent a tersely worded letter saying he was happy and relieved that Yakko was returning to the studio lot where he belonged and he would have liked to attend the party but had a prior engagement that required his attendance.

While Yakko thought he could have worded it differently he appreciated the sentiment. And the man had visited him several times in the hospital, even bringing his wife and two young sons who had wanted autographs much to Plotz's annoyance and Yakko's amusement.

Goose and her daughter had sent over a giant fruit basket – they had managed to get to the hospital once while he was still admitted for a visit and had brought one then too. And she had snapped at Bugs when she had arrived which had actually been one of the highlights of the entire two week ordeal. She had said she didn't blame him for the accident and apparently no one else did either so he needed to hush up on his worrying and pissing around because he felt guilty and get to work making sure Yakko got better.

Even Max had helped and assisted in mopping the kitchen, which surprised Yakko. Max was so damn spoiled that Yakko had been surprised that the boy even knew what a mop was let alone how to use it. Plucky cleared up the mystery though; he pointed out that not only had Max been bullied into helping, he had to show Max what to do.

Everyone seemed delighted he was home. He was delighted he was home. But while he was happy everyone was happy and visiting and having a great time in his spotless tower he wouldn't mind them mingling with themselves for awhile too. Everyone had been crowding around him since he had gotten the hell scared out of him on the landing. Sometimes he really just wanted to talk to someone his own age. Was that too much to ask? He adored Bugs and the others but every now and then he got tired of having to behave so much around them.

Around the younger ones too – especially since they seemed to be starting to emulate him. What music he liked, what clothing he liked, what food he liked, what he liked to read, what he liked to talk about, why he liked girls so much – they were driving him crazy with questions.

The little girls weren't too much better, though they just laughed every time he opened his mouth to say anything, especially Babs.

He wasn't sure he liked them making him a role model – that was sometimes too much work, trying to be perfect all the time.

But with the younger boys spying on him he now had a new problem to figure out. When he and Kit had decided to escape to the bedroom for awhile to just talk, the goofs had followed and been listening through the door; Wakko and Buster had sharp hearing. Unfortunately for them so did Yakko and he eventually heard them giggling, whispering and laughing before he had motioned to Kit to be quiet and they had gone and chased the boys off.

He just had a sneaking suspicion that the boys had heard things they probably shouldn't have heard. Mostly nonsense but Yakko had been talking about some of his own conquests, including Debbie. He prayed that none of the little morons had picked up on what he had been talking about.

After that it was decided to go hide out on the landing for a bit. At least there they were alone and if anyone was trying to spy on them they'd see them coming from the doorway.

Now he'd have to talk to Wakko not only about his game of spying on every single thing he did, but also to let him know he didn't hear what he thought he may have heard. Yakko didn't want him thinking it was OK to engage in that sort of activity, at least that early.

It was OK for him of course; he was older and more mature. He probably didn't need to worry about it too much yet – Wakko and all the ding-a-lings were still in their 'girls are yucky' stage for the most part.

Of course, Wakko would be fourteen at some point…

Ho boy.

Yeah, definitely needed to talk to him.

Yakko pushed down the feeling he was being a hypocrite. It had been a few times and for the most part he was careful – more careful than Kit obviously was – and he was pretty sure he was more careful than Wakko would ever dream of being.

Yeah, Wakko would be lucky if Yakko let him talk to a girl during his teenage years.

Maybe on the phone. No way Wakko could make him an uncle over the phone.

Dot. Yeah. Yakko pitied the guy that dared asked her out. Because a guy that asked Dot out would probably be just like him and he knew how he thought…

Fine. Dot would get locked away in her room for a few years. He'd let her out when she was thirty or so.

Yakko brought himself out of his musings about protecting his siblings and turned back to Kit as he said something about a pickup line he had used and almost laughed.

"I can barely believe you got anywhere with that," Yakko drawled.

He liked Kit, but his pickup lines were lame.

"What the hell you talking about Warner? That was great!"

"Yeah, I'll remember 'Are those space pants you're wearing because your ass is out of this world'. Give me a break Kit you-"

"Oh yeah you laugh," Kit said. "I still got play while you were lounging around the rabbit's house."

"Yeah, and I chose to do that right?"

"Hey, sorry, but I'm telling you now the chicks at this place are banging-"

"So I've heard – you know I'm never going to eat there now right?"

"-and this other girl knew I was a friend of yours and started chatting me up. Figured I'd give you a notice."

"Thanks. Glad you recovered so nicely from your last breakup."

"She was boring and had a whiney voice."

"You say that about every girl Kit."

"Look they were great; I just liked them better when they kept their mouths closed over my-"

"I just ate. Listening to you is better than an ipecac."

"You've got worse form than I do!" Kit laughed. "Hell I had to just about shove you toward that Evelyn skank and look how that worked out."

"Oh yeah, I remember. I had been looking for a girl to spawn dark legions of gibbering morons with and she fit the bill. Thanks."

"You liked her well enough when you were pawing at her in the hallway-"

"Look, don't spy on me to get tips you perv," Yakko laughed.

"-though I know she wasn't as frisky as your Prop Princess."

"Princess of Props, thank you, and I don't think Jenna Jameson is as frisky as her."

"Yeah yeah you made love in a Chevy Van and that's not all right with me-"

"A Buick. Do you remember anything I tell you?" Yakko sighed and after a moment said, "Look; I appreciate you trying to set me up-"

"Just something I do man – you're a friend. Why else would I have come over here and helped clean up your place? Do you have any idea what was growing in your fridge?"

"You're an ass Kit. Listen, I appreciate – everything actually. But I don't know if I want to meet a chick named after a goddess."

"It's the Goddess of Love you picky bastard!"

Picky? He wasn't picky…he was just discriminating. He liked them shapely, tall, and preferably blond but he'd dated a brunette before. Above average intelligence helped too. A non-prudish attitude was a definite plus.

Yakko didn't care if her body was curvier than Turnbull Canyon Road, if she had green hair she was probably a weirdo.

Then again Kit did say she was a fan and her hair only had a few streaks…and she was older and interested in him.

"Actually Kit, in Greek mythology Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love. Athena is the Goddess usually associated with wisdom and war, along with-"

"Who cares?" Kit shrugged. "I don't care about old stories or their names."

"Figured you would," Yakko answered. "Aphrodite was usually painted as a beautiful half naked woman."

"Damn Warner, I think I can figure out why you haven't been having any luck with the ladies. It's not because the rabbit was leaning over your shoulder, it's because you scare them off with your mountains of information on shit no one cares about, you dork! Look," Kit said reasonably. "She's flaming hot and sells cookies and I had to listen to her tell me how big a fan she was of you. She wrote her phone number on my receipt to give to you! I mean how much more do you want?"

"A flaming hot blond that sells cookies and hands out phone numbers?"

"Look, just call her. Hell, you've been out of commission for awhile. You said Bugs was up your ass anytime you went out and you already said the studio isn't going to film any more episodes for the season-"

"Thanks for rubbing that in," Yakko muttered.

"-so you'll have time," Kit said. "Not like you have to do it right away or anything." Kit dug in his pants pocket for a few minutes before reaching back to his Hammerspace, finally pulling out a small crumbled piece of paper that smelled vaguely of cinnamon. "Here; her number if you ever get the guts to call."

Yakko scowled at Kit talking right over him. Maybe Molly was finally wearing off on him.

After a second Yakko took the paper and looked at it. 'The Cookie Jar Group'…how original.

"Damn Kit; really like oatmeal raisin huh?"

"Shut up Warner – you got the number. Up to you to make a move. Be happy I didn't give her your number."

Yakko nodded, refraining from making a comment. It was an unwritten rule that you do not pass out addresses or phone numbers of fellow stars. Especially fellow stars that have crazy fans with green hair that assault their friends with phone numbers. Thank God Kit had told him about star-six-seven to block his number; that had come in pretty handy a few times…damn caller ID.

But Kit was right; he had been out of commission for awhile. The times he had been out with Bugs and had talked to a girl the rabbit had suddenly appeared to hover over him and chased a vast majority of them off. He doubted the sling did that much to deter the girls from talking to him further or from wanting a second or third date. A tall glaring rabbit might though.

Maybe he'd call.

No harm in just calling the girl right?

"Yeah, maybe Kit. I don't know about-"

"What are you two doing out here?"

Yakko shut off abruptly and turned with Kit as Ms. Cunningham stepped delicately out on to the landing. Yakko smiled as she tried not to look down and gingerly made her way toward them, keeping both hands on the outside of the tower as if she believed she wouldn't fall if she simply kept some portion of her hands gliding along the outside.

Yakko shook his head. He had offered several times to Fritz a parachute for her if she was that frightened. Kit had as well; Kit would probably cut off his ear for her. For all his 'I'm-a-bad-ass' talk the guy turned into a huge softy when it came to her. Yakko could see it now; Kit was looking at her like she was Wonder Woman – a beautiful strong woman come to rescue him from the evils of the world. He wouldn't be surprised if Kit bowed and began kissing her feet, probably all while telling Yakko how cool he was of course.

"Your brother's looking for you Yakko," Ms. Cunningham said. "He apparently got into something with the others. And Kit, Molly wanted to tell you something."

"What now?" Kit mumbled. "The last time she hunted me up she wanted to show me some doll in Dot's room."

"She's just excited Kit," Ms. Cunningham said while coming between the two boys and putting an arm around them. "She wants to share everything with her big brother – you know she adores you."

Yakko smirked for a second. Kit had complained about it for a few minutes. Yakko couldn't blame him but he didn't have anything to fuss about too much. He wasn't responsible for Molly; not like he was responsible for Dot. And he was pretty sure Kit didn't have to attend a multitude of tea parties for dolls like he did. He tried not to be too cranky about it; Dot always seemed to have fun but it did get sort of boring.

"Same with you," Ms. Cunningham said to Yakko, surprising him. "Wakko and Dot idolize you. You should have seen them at the hospital; when they weren't crying all they did was talk about you."

"I know," Yakko mumbled. "It's annoying though. Be nice if they didn't idolize me every second I'm awake-"

"They can't help it Yakko," Ms. Cunningham said. "You too Kit. You don't understand how much the littler ones look up to you. Even the other younger boys – they look up to you, respect you."

_If they did they wouldn't spy on me all the time._

"Can you blame them? You should be flattered that these little boys look up to you and aspire to be like you! There are worse role models they could have. This is a very impressionable age for them. They're trying to figure out their place in the world."

_That's true; they could all be looking up to some spoiled sports star or someone getting into trouble all the time. _

"Cheer up," Ms. Cunningham said. "It only lasts for a few years. Before you know it you'll be wishing they were trying to be like you again when they're running off doing the silliest thing that comes into their heads."

Yakko closed his eyes at that thought and wondered what he had to look forward to. Wakko could do some silly things now.

He nodded as she continued to talk, this time telling Kit how much of a role model he was not only to Molly but to lots of boys; smart, handsome, witty and athletic he should be very proud that so many young men wanted to be like him. Yakko decided he wouldn't complain about it as much and try to watch what he said around the younger boys, especially if there was any chance they were going to try to pick up some of his habits now.

It was still annoying.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Dip baby dip! Just dip baby dip!"

"Molly! Dot! That's enough!"

"Just dip! Cotton Candy free to go! Let me see that tootsie roll!"

"I told you two don't sing that!"

Dot stopped singing as Ms. Cunningham grabbed her arm. A second later she grabbed Molly's and she glared down at both of them and Dot cringed back. She really didn't want to be hollered at, especially in the middle of 'The Diamond Tiara'. And just for singing? She and Molly didn't sound that bad.

"I told you two – that song is awful! And I'm not just talking about the fact they can't sing – the lyrics are disgusting-"

"Why Mommy? It's just candy!"

"Right, candy. You keep on believing that." Tugging on their arms Ms. Cunningham said, "Let's go."

Dot exchanged a look with Molly before shrugging. They liked the song and they liked Tootsie Rolls; it was a good candy. Ms. Cunningham must not like chewy chocolaty candy.

And singing was better than looking at all the clothing. Normally Dot had no problem going shopping, especially with Molly. Today though they hadn't been able to find anything; what they did like they didn't have in their size or the stuff the stores had in their size was ugly and they didn't want to wear it.

It was the first time she could remember going shopping and after several hours of looking not finding anything. Now she was bored, Molly had been bored for the last hour and they were both getting upset; they really needed to find dresses.

"I swear, the music they play now, no wonder the kids-"

"Calm down Rebecca," Lisa said, taking Dot's hand.

Dot sighed in relief; Ms. Cunningham had a pretty good grip, especially if she was annoyed.

"But I want to find a dress," Molly said. "The next function-"

"Yes Molly, I'm well aware of the next function," Ms. Cunningham said. "But we're in the wrong section; this is for the older girls."

Dot looked around, as much as she was able to being shorter than all the racks around her, while Molly pointed to an advertisement showing a few older girls, a pretty tan bear and a slender lavender bunny dressed in short plaid skirts and white shirts – like Sunni Gummi they were frequently in ads and commercials for the store.

Looking at the poster again she decided she wouldn't mind the outfit actually; maybe not for the function, but just to have. It was cute. All the clothes in this section of 'The Diamond Tiara' were cute.

They were in the 'teen' section though, which was in the back of the store. They usually stayed up front in the 'childrens' section. But the dresses being displayed in the back section were really pretty so she and Molly had wanted to look despite Lisa and Ms. Cunningham's protests that nothing would be in their size or 'suitable for their age'. The next function they were going to was a 'Valentine' function – they wanted to look their best.

And this function was going to be really special; this was the first one that Yakko was really going to be able to go to since his accident. He had opted not to go to the Halloween one and a few other smaller ones. She and Wakko had gone without him to a couple of them; he said they should – just because he wasn't going didn't mean they shouldn't have a good time.

They had gone with Slappy and Skippy and she still had fun, but it would have been more fun if Yakko was there. He had gone to the Christmas one, but hadn't really done much besides sit at the table because he was irritated about something and she knew he was over her trying to take Bergen for a ride and for once Wakko hadn't actually done anything to make him mad which sort of surprised her.

Yakko had been sort of cranky a lot; he hadn't really said anything to her or been mean, but she could tell he had seemed upset about something. He seemed to be getting better though; the new girl he had been talking to on the phone seemed to cheer him up when she called which was nice. And she called a lot.

And Dot knew she herself had cheered Yakko up; she had asked him to go to the function as her date because he told Kit that he didn't have one and he didn't know if he wanted to ask this new girl yet.

When Dot crawled in his lap later and said he should go with her as her dateYakko had looked at her wide-eyed for a moment before he laughed and hugged her and said he couldn't have asked for a cuter girl.

Which was true.

Wakko of course had said that was stupid because not only were they brother and sister they would be riding to it together with Slappy and her pet dork and he sure as hell wasn't taking that asshat Skippy as his date if that's what they thought. Dot was about to get mad but Yakko took care of it; he yelled at Wakko and told him he could either scrub the kitchen floor or he could call Elmyra and ask her to be his date.

Wakko chose to scrub the kitchen floor and refused to talk to Elmyra when she called. She called a lot too

"But Ms. Cunningham," Dot said. "Some of the dresses on this side look like our size-"

"That's the problem Dot," Lisa muttered. "Come on, well go back to the other side of the store and try to find something there."

"Mommy I want the skirt they're wearing."

"Honey," Ms. Cunningham said in a weary voice. "They don't make skirts like that for you. We need to go to the little girls section."

"There's one similar to it over there," a voice said from behind them.

Dot turned to see a bunny toon smiling at them. Dot looked up at her for a second, studying her face before she glanced around the girl – it was the same one from the poster on the wall. Dot smiled back at her; a model.

"It's not the same," the girl shrugged while adjusting the brown leather satchel she had slung across one shoulder. "But it's pretty close. I'm leaving out the front; I can show you, if you want."

"Mommy! It's the girl from the poster! I want to see it and look like her, oh can we Mommy please please-"

"Yes, that would be lovely dear, thank you," Ms. Cunningham said, pursing her lips a little at the girl's skirt. "Molly calm down," she added with a sigh. "We'll look at the skirt – see if it satisfies you and me. Then we still have to find a dress."

"They're over here," the bunny said, stepping around Lisa to lead them toward the front of the store, gracefully weaving her way through racks of scarves, ties and barrettes.

Dot, still holding Lisa's hand hurried to catch up to the girl while watching her. She was really pretty; no wonder she was a model. And she had the walk Dot had seen on other girls, where their hips swung a little bit and all the boys would stare at them. There were even a few boys outside the store staring at her through the window as she went by and flashed them a smile.

Dot sighed, wondering how she pulled it off. She had tried to walk like that once but Wakko and Plucky had seen her and said she looked like she was wearing a diaper. Plucky had shut up when she had said that at least she was just pretending. She had seen the episodes where Plucky was wearing a diaper even though he said that wasn't him it was his little brother.

Lucky Wakko had pointed out that Plucky had been wearing one at the end of one of them and he had run off with the furious duck chasing after him with his mallet, yelling that it was just a script.

Stupid boys.

She hoped one day the boys would look at her like that too. They wouldn't now; now she was just cute and cute was alright she guessed. Maybe one day she'd be considered pretty.

"Right here," the girl yelled proudly, her hand on a rack of pink and grey plaid skirts.

Dot looked at them before feeling her nose wrinkle slightly; those weren't like the one she had been wearing in the poster. That one had been shorter and a mix of greens and blues. These were a little longer and had a large decorative safety pin on the side. It reminded her of a kilt.

"I don't like those," Dot muttered to Lisa. "I wanted one like in the picture."

"They don't have them for little girls Dot," Lisa said back. "Soon enough you'll be able to buy clothing in the other section; just enjoy being a little girl for a while longer."

"Me either," Molly added. "I don't want pink – I want green too."

"Sorry girls, this is all they got," Ms. Cunningham said. Turning to the bunny she said, "Thank you anyway dear."

"But Mommy-"

"Hush Molly, this is all they have."

"I hate being little," Molly grumbled. "And I hate pink."

"Hey guys," the girl said, crouching down to look at them and putting her bag on the floor. "Secretly? I wanted this skirt but they don't make it in my size. Plus the pink clashes with my fur and makes me look like an Easter egg. I think it would look really cute on you two though."

"Really?" Dot asked.

She eyed the girl for a second; she seemed sincere, not like she was trying to talk down to them like they were little or just trying to help sales. Maybe she was just good at acting though.

Dot looked at the skirt again; maybe it wouldn't look bad on either of them. Molly's golden coloring complimented pretty much any color she put on, and her own black fur tended to match everything with the exception of orange, though that was mostly because she felt like she was dressing as a Halloween treat.

The girl nodded before saying, "And I'm not just saying that because I work here– I really think it would look good on you. Both of you. And you want to look pretty no matter what right?" At Dot and Molly's nod she grinned. "So why not try them on? It can't hurt to take a look anyway."

Dot glanced at Molly briefly, who was still giving a skeptical look at the skirt. She really didn't care for pink much, Dot knew that, but she looked good in it. And much like her, if you told Molly she would look good in it she would suddenly get interested in it. Besides, Ms. Cunningham was constantly trying to get Molly to wear pink; she'd probably be happy if her daughter would even try it on.

"Come on Molly," Dot urged. "Let's at least see what it looks like."

"Go on honey, it's a really cute skirt; you can even wear it to the function-"

"I don't want to wear that," Molly groused. "I wanted to get a dress, like that one," she added, pointing toward a black velvet dress with white trim. "I don't like pink."

"The SweetHearts' Tea?" the rabbit asked. "That's not going to be very fancy; something like this skirt, or…" she broke off for a moment before walking toward the wall where there were several more displays of clothing.

Glancing back at Molly she grabbed several hangers with different colored articles of clothing on it before walking back toward her. Looking at Ms. Cunningham for a moment she started holding them up to a curious Molly.

"This would look good on you," she said, holding up an emerald green jumper. "Or maybe this," she added, holding up a denim skirt and a blue long sleeved shirt. "They're cute and just casual enough for the function. You'll look silly if you show up wearing a party dress to this one."

Dot watched, slightly jealous of Molly. Yes, she didn't mind getting her fashion advice from Lisa or Ms. Cunningham; both women dressed well and they had never steered her wrong yet. But Molly was getting it from a model; how exciting was that?

But her friend looked happier, grabbing the skirt and shirt.

"I still say you should go with this skirt," the rabbit spoke again, addressing Dot and startling her. "That and maybe this shirt," she said as she stood, taking another look at her before grabbing a white button-down shirt.

Dot let go of Lisa's hand and took the shirt, surprised to see that it was her size.

"Thank you," she said.

"Yes, thank you dear," Ms. Cunningham added. "I appreciate you showing us this."

"Just a little something I do," the girl said while waving her hand. "Glad I could help."

"Oh yes you did – thank you!" Molly said happily. "I hope I look as pretty as you-"

"You'll look better in that, trust me," the rabbit said, interrupting her. "I look like a fright in those colors. I've got to go; Mom's waiting for me. I'll probably see you at the function though OK? You can come over and show me how my fashion advice went."

Lisa smiled at her while saying, "Thank you again."

"Wait, what's your name?" Dot asked while still clutching the outfit. She had been nice enough to help them pick out an outfit; the least they could do was find out her name. Besides, it wasn't everyday she met a model.

"April," she said, holding her hand out, first to Lisa and Ms. Cunningham before leaning down to shake Molly's and Dot's. "April DeLepus. And you two don't even need to introduce yourselves. I used to watch you all the time; I loved TaleSpin!" April said, gushing to a now glowing Molly. "And I watch you every week," she continued, turning her lilac eyes to Dot. "I love your show – you and your brothers are my favorites."

Dot grinned; she liked it when someone told her that. She never heard it enough. And especially from someone she herself admired.

"I loved 'Babblin' Bijou' the most," April said. "You totally out acted your brothers in that, you looked adorable in the black-and-white motif, and I think that's when I really saw you start to mature as an actress. And you did all that without saying a word. Good stuff."

Dot felt her grin get bigger. Finally; someone who said that their favorite skit that focused mostly on her wasn't 'I'm Cute'. She always heard that. Sometimes she wondered if people even realized she had done other skits. Plus April said she out acted both her brothers; she'd never heard that. Sometimes from Yakko, but he was probably just saying that to be nice.

"Thanks," Dot said softly.

She was going to say more to the girl but her cell phone started ringing and April began to dig through her bag, pulling out books, and pencils, and make-up before finding it buried deep within.

Looking at it she said, "Sorry it's my Mom, I really have to go. I hope the outfits work out; it was really nice to meet you. Bye! Come say hi at the function!"

With that she was dashing toward the door of the store, her long ears and skirt trailing behind her as she pushed the door open and disappeared down the sidewalk.

"All right you two, let's try these on and see if they fit," Lisa said, guiding Dot toward the dressing rooms while Ms. Cunningham did the same to Molly. "We've been to half the stores in town just today. I'm hoping that they'll work and we can finally get something to eat."

Dot nodded; she was getting hungry and tired. But she was excited and pleased anyway; she got to stay the day with her friend, she had found the perfect outfit to wear, and had met a fan – and one that said they should say hi to her at the function if they saw her.

Dot was happy; at least she was starting to get some recognition.

XXXXXXXXXX

January 13, 1995

"Where're you supposed to meet her again doc?"

"The west entrance Bugs," Yakko said. "She said she'd be wearing a green shirt and black jeans."

"Every one of these entrances has more kids than a herd of goats," Bugs muttered. "Hope you got a better description than that."

_Oh I do._

Yakko fidgeted slightly in the seat of the BMW, listening to the clear cellophane wrapped around the flowers crinkle in his lap. Annoyed with himself he looked out the passenger side window. This wasn't his first date; he had no reason to be nervous. He had talked to Athena for two weeks now; he knew he had nothing to worry about. She seemed over the moon at the thought of meeting him for dinner and a movie.

She had seemed perturbed about him needing to bring a chaperone at first but after she found out it was going to be Bugs she had perked right up, saying she was a big fan of his.

Yakko glanced at Bugs worriedly out of the corner of his eye. While he was grateful that the rabbit had said he was free and would be more than happy to come tonight, he had really wanted Foghorn to chaperone this date. Foghorn hadn't always been impressed with some of his dates and had no problem letting Yakko know that, but he had always stayed true to his word; he tried to stay in the background. Only occasionally would he come forward if he thought some activity was 'getting out of hand'.

Usually it annoyed Yakko – the activities that according to Foghorn were 'getting out of hand' were usually just 'getting warmed up' to his way of thinking. But Foghorn had really only busted up the fun twice. Most times the rooster seemed content to stay out of direct eyeshot and try to give Yakko some semblance of privacy for which he had always been grateful for. He knew Foghorn was around somewhere and keeping an eye on things, but he tried not to make it obvious.

Bugs though…Yakko sighed quietly to himself. Bugs – and Slappy to a lesser degree – knew how to really kill a mood when they put their minds to it.

Yakko adored both of them; he counted them as his closest friends despite the widely varying age differences. He respected both of them a great deal. A large portion of the time they talked to him as an equal. While he may not be as knowledgeable as either of them on any subject that was discussed they both never made any attempt to talk down to him or patronize him, always including him in on almost any conversation they were having. Very seldom did they ever try to pull the rank and age game on him; if they did he usually tried to listen. They were older and they did know what they were talking about.

While in the beginning of their relationship he was sometimes hesitant about going to them with a problem because of embarrassment or not wishing to bother them, he now found himself now going to them more about a wide variety of issues. He had never once gotten any indication from either of them that they minded.

But when it came to dating – specifically his choice of dates – they both seemed to suddenly warp into different people and began handing out advice whether it was asked for or not. While he was thankful that Slappy held off on discussing too many 'what if' scenarios with him and seemed content to simply keep an uncomfortably close eye on him on the rare occasion he had asked her to chaperone a date, Bugs did not. The rabbit seemed to have absolutely no qualms about discussing a wide variety of situations – most a mix of horrific and extremely amusing 'things to watch out for'.

Yakko had tried telling Bugs once he was more than old enough to know about everything from birth control to body lice – he really didn't need to hear about it from him. Bugs had just said something like he'd probably think with the wrong head for a few years so he wanted to make sure he was fully aware of what was out there. He had also told him to hush and listen to him now; he may not like it but in a few years he would be in a position to embarrass the hell out of Wakko with the same types of conversations so at least he knew it would only last a certain amount of time.

He had been floored by those statements from Bugs' mouth and had managed to sit through the rest of that lecture with no more complaints. He even tried not laughing through most of it. Bugs, in his own unique way, was trying to help him; it wouldn't be polite to laugh right in his face. That being said, when he was away from the rabbit it was funny as hell to laugh about it on the phone with Kit.

Yakko glanced again at Bugs, who was absently rubbing the base of his ear. He frowned slightly; Bugs rarely approved of his choice of dates. The only one he had seemed to totally approve of was Sabina. While Foghorn would usually keep his opinions to himself – at least when the girl was around – Bugs had an annoying habit of dropping subtle hints about his thoughts in front of them. He was never rude; in fact he made the thinly-veiled insult seem like a compliment half the time, but Yakko was able to pick up the jibe.

Hopefully Bugs would like the girl; it wasn't a requirement if he approved of his choice of date or not, but Yakko honestly preferred it. He really never fought with the rabbit – he usually went out of his way to stay on his good side and actually liked his approval. Not only was Bugs a friend, but he could have a vicious streak when crossed.

"What's this girl's name again? Aphrodite?"

Yakko snapped his head around to look at Bugs.

"Athena."

"Sounds like a porn star," Bugs muttered quietly.

"Oh man I hope so," Yakko snickered. Catching Bugs' look he added, "Joking. Come on Bugs, it's not that unusual a name – I would think 'Yakko' or 'Bugs' would rank at the top of the 'unusual moniker' list. At least meet her before you go passing judgment.

Though he had a feeling that Bugs already had passed judgment on her.

Athena was…interesting. As quirky as she was he liked talking to her.

She always seemed excited to talk to him; so much so that if he didn't call her by seven she was calling him, wanting to talk about his day, what he liked, where he went, who he talked to, what he talked to them about – everything he did seemed interesting to this girl. He sort of liked it; it would be nice if she didn't grill him about everything he did, but it was nice to have someone that interested. He also liked the way she'd purr when he was talking to her; it was sort of sexy, at least when she kept the purring low.

The only thing annoying was a lot of times when she called she was with a friend – or more than one friend – and would constantly giggle and laugh and tell whoever she was with that she was on the phone with him. And she had a really high-pitched giggle – very loud and super sweet. And she would endlessly question him on people he knew or had met or what classes she should take since she wanted to be an actress herself.

He had finally told her his entire syllabus for the last few years just to stop talking about the subject. He honestly didn't know what the best acting classes were; the studio and Bugs decided what classes he and his siblings took regarding that. The laws dictated what basic core classes they took. They were obviously allowed to choose their electives and other than Dot neither he nor Wakko had opted to take any additional acting or dancing lessons.

When he had mentioned some of those conversations to Bugs in passing the rabbit had pursed his mouth up but hadn't said anything further about it.

Yakko had neglected to tell Bugs that she was over two years older than him; Athena was going on seventeen and already had her license. Yakko had no problem seeing an older girl but Bugs usually frowned if they were too much older. A three year age difference would probably not hit Bugs well. But it wasn't three years; more like two-and-a-half; Athena wouldn't turn seventeen until May.

Again, he didn't need Bugs' approval; it was just nice to have.

He also neglected to mention the girl had green stripes in her hair. Having green hair wasn't unusual for a toon; unlike humans toons could be born with any color of hair or fur. But Bugs was a bit 'old fashioned' when it came to that; if she was born with green hair that was fine – hell, look at Plucky – poor guy was covered in green feathers. But it was normal for him; his entire family line was green feathered ducks. If though she went out and dyed her hair green that was a different matter entirely. He probably should have mentioned the stripes; it wasn't like she was going to be able to hide it.

Too late now; they were already here. He'd find out soon enough.

He really hoped Bugs liked her. Or that he'd at least keep his comments to himself. Unlike his previous few encounters, Athena seemed fairly sharp. Yakko had a feeling that she'd pick up an insult thrown at her no matter how Bugs phrased it.

Finally nearing the west wing of _The Harnell_, Bugs began looking for a parking place while Yakko looked at the group outside the door. He didn't see a girl with green striped hair yet, but realized something else; he really didn't want to be seen being escorted into the mall like an eight-year-old, especially in front of that many people. He frowned; that had never bothered him before. Now though it seemed a bit…babyish. Especially when meeting her for the first time.

"Hey Bugs, can you just – you know stay back this time? At least let me meet her before you come up."

Glancing at him with a smirk Bugs asked, "What? You embarrassed about being seen with me now?"

"No it's not that." Yakko thought for a moment, wondering how to put what he wished to say into words that wouldn't offend the rabbit. It wasn't him per say; it was always being accompanied by someone. "I'd just like to meet her, actually talk to her by myself – face to face – before she sees you." Sighing he added, "I feel like a little kid, always having an adult following me around."

Pulling into a parking space in the crowded lot Bugs gave him a long look before looking back toward the entrance.

"You know that's part of the deal doc; you always have an escort. Didn'tcha tell this girl that?"

"I mentioned that someone would be around," Yakko muttered.

Looking at him with one eyebrow raised, Bugs finally shrugged.

"Fine. You're on a fifteen foot leash – don't think I forgot about you and what's-her-name wandering off that time."

Yakko smirked. It had only been for a few minutes but what a few minutes. As demanding as she was, he sometimes missed Debbie. Such a giving girl.

"We were just talking."

"Right; tell that to someone that doesn't know you." Giving another look to the mall entrance he finally said, "Go meet her. Wave at me when you get done with your little meet and greet."

Yakko grinned, happy with that. He debated on asking Bugs to hang back more, but doubted he would get that. He chose to take what he could get.

"Thanks Bugs – wish me luck."

"You've never needed luck with the girls, doc. You could do with being a little unlucky now and then if ya know what I mean."

Shooting the rabbit a grin before pausing to gather his nerve Yakko opened the door, keeping a firm grip on the flowers.

As he walked toward the entrance he looked at the crowd outside the doors; a few kids gathered in a circle passing around a cigarette, a couple girls lounging on the decorative brick walls, a couple making out, while others were bunched up talking loudly and laughing.

He scanned the crowd again, finally noticing several girls standing next to a few well-maintained hedges talking and gesturing wildly. And one of the girls was a tall shapely grey tabby, leaning back against the wall with a pleased smile on her face and beating her long tail on the wall in a rhythm only she could hear.

Yakko sized her up as he approached the entrance; Kit was right, she was hot. She had less green in her hair than he had originally thought; only a few streaks really. After looking at it for a second he decided he liked it; it was unusual and gave her a slightly 'punk' look.

Her shape was nice. She was a little wider in the hips than he usually liked but in her case it worked out well; it accented her slender waist and long legs. She looked a lot better than he had been expecting, despite her and Kit giving him a pretty thorough description. And it definitely had to be her; she was wearing jeans and a green shirt. Just the jeans were low riders and the shirt was actually a halter top with lacing up the front.

The girl looked up and met his eye before a wild grin took over her face and she began yelling his name while tugging on several other girls' arms, earning herself a few nasty looks.

Yakko quickened his steps to meet her; she looked like she was on the verge of a seizure. Or getting punched by one of the other girls; they didn't look particularly happy with her enthusiasm. He was though; the shirt just barely covered what it legally needed to. With her bouncing around it was a rather nice effect.

After a few more seconds of her yelling, earning her the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity, she began to walk toward him, beaming while twitching her tail.

Finally reaching her Yakko started to say hi but was cut off when she grabbed him and gave him a hug, all while shrieking in his ear that she was happy that he wanted to meet her.

Surprised he hugged her back. He hadn't been expecting her to get quite that friendly in the first thirty seconds but he shrugged. She had said she was worried about making a good first impression; she was probably nervous. He was well known – he couldn't deny that. Bugs was going to be there. Not to mention this was something like a blind date – sure, Kit had passed along the phone number and he called, but they hadn't met each other before. She was probably just as anxious as he was.

"Nice to finally met you," Yakko finally choked out, hoping she'd release her grip. She was hugging him so hard he was worried the date might end before it began; she was going to crush his ribs.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!" she squealed. "And you're even cuter in real life than on TV!"

Yakko tried to gently push her off him and said, "Thanks – I'm not that cute suffocated though, so if you could let up a bit-"

"Oh! Oh I'm so sorry!" Athena said, letting go of his waist to immediately thread her arm through his, unsheathing her claws slightly.

"Hey, calm down," Yakko said, wincing as he felt the tips of her claws penetrating the fabric of his shirt. "I'm not going anywhere."

Thankful that he had decided to not wear the leather jacket Bugs and Slappy had bought him for Christmas, he handed the flowers to her, hoping to distract her and ease her uneasiness.

"For me? Really?"

"Really."

_Who else would they be for?_

Shaking his head slightly he watched as she sniffed the flowers for a moment before waving them at the small crowd that was now watching from the entranceway of the mall. A few of the girls gave half-hearted waves before the crowd began to partially disperse, some of the kids continuing to watch, some heading back inside, while others seemed disinterested in the entire thing and went back to talking.

Yakko shrugged; maybe she had a few friends there in case she decided he was a weirdo or ugly or something. Hell, he understood; he had worked out a few key phrases and signals with Foghorn just in case he needed an excuse to end the date early for some reason. He hadn't ever needed to use them, but it was nice to have a backup plan in case the girl turned out to be a real freak.

He had been having a few doubts about Athena but she seemed to be calming down a bit. At least she had sheathed her claws for the moment; he had been afraid she was going to draw blink if she got any more excited.

Happy that the crowd was no longer watching them Yakko turned briefly to wave in the direction of the car. No doubt Bugs was already watching anyway; he couldn't wait to see what snide comment came out of the rabbit's mouth with this one.

Seeing Athena' quizzical look he said, "Had to wave at my friend – remember?"

"Right - Bugs. That's too cool. I bet you get to meet all the really big stars huh?"

Yakko shrugged before saying, "I've met a few I guess. I work with these guys; most times I forget that any of them are stars. Sort of easy to do when you sit around and drink coffee with them half the time."

_Or listen to them complain about your choice in dates_, Yakko thought, wincing at the look on Bugs' face as he began to walk toward them. Bugs had his 'I'm going to make a few smart assed comments' look on. Yakko sighed; he was right, Bugs didn't like her.

"Come on, I'll introduce you-"

"I can tell I'm gonna like him a lot," Athena said. "Even from here I can tell how friendly he is."

_Is she seeing the same rabbit I am?_

"Right. Friendly. Just don't gush on him; he doesn't usually like it."

Hoping she took that piece of advice he managed to wiggle his arm free of her grasp then felt her grip his hand. He gave it a small squeeze; if he had the tall hare heading toward him for the first time with that look on his face he'd probably be nervous too.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I had fun tonight."

"Me too. I'll call you tomorrow OK?"

Yakko felt a shiver run up his spine as Athena ran her hand through his hair while flexing her tail around his leg. He tried to avoid thinking about Bugs glaring at them from two tables away as the mall emptied out, the janitorial staff beginning to put chairs on top of tables as they prepared to begin mopping the floor.

"You better – I think you're going to be stuck with me for awhile," she purred softly before kissing him.

Surprised, he froze for a second before reciprocating. He would have thought by now that she would have picked up on the fact that Bugs didn't really care much for her or her rather exuberant display of public affection. Yakko himself had been a bit shocked about it at first – he liked it – but he had been thrown when she continuously grabbed at him. And she wasn't exactly the type of girl that was happy to hold hands while the rabbit glared and made 'huffing' sounds or muttered under his breath.

No, she seemed to enjoy attracting as much attention as she could. Yakko never thought about it but he usually considered himself a 'low-key' guy. He didn't go out of his way most times to attract attention from the general public; he got it half the time whether he wanted it or not. He didn't fight it; it was flattering to be recognized but he didn't need to stand on a bench and yell so that everyone turned to look at him.

Several times tonight as they had been walking arms around each other's waists he had been approached by fans, asking for an autograph or saying they were happy he seemed to be doing so well considering the accident he had been in. Most of the girls he had dated seemed to be uncomfortable with the attention on him, or would calmly stand to the side and wait as he said hi to a fan. It usually didn't take that long, and while it could be annoying at times, especially when he was eating, it sort of came with the territory. Without them, he wouldn't have a job.

Athena seemed pleased that people were coming up to talk to him; hell a few times she had introduced herself, even one time saying she was his 'newest friend'. He had thought it a bit odd at first but eventually just rolled with it. He would like to see her again and if they ever did became a regular item she would no doubt need to be used to it. This wasn't exactly the first time a fan had come up on him; he was simply happy that she didn't seem at all perturbed by it.

Glancing over his shoulder he saw Bugs drumming his fingers, an obvious sign that the rabbit wanted to go. Yakko shrugged and turned back to Athena; it wasn't that late and it was a Friday night – he could wait a few minutes right? Besides, he was still annoyed at Bugs; he had been a pain most of the night.

First off there had been an almost disastrous introduction in which Bugs had said he had only seen that shade of green previously on three things in his life; Oscar the Grouch, pus that came out of an infected ear, and mold on a forgotten carrot in the back of his refrigerator.

Athena had waved him off with a little high-pitched laugh though, saying that she had seen him turn green in a few of his shorts and that maybe he was jealous that she made the color look good. Surprisingly, that had made Bugs snap his mouth shut and he had glared at Yakko, who had smirked through the entire exchange.

During dinner the two of them had sat beside each other in the booth and Bugs had been good enough not to make an appearance. When they had walked in the mall he had stayed back and Yakko had almost felt like a normal teenager for a short time. Athena seemed to know everyone, and had no problem introducing him to several of her friends that were scattered to the four corners of the mall. She had even tried introducing Bugs to several of them, but the rabbit had finally stayed far enough away that she was unable to really do that without looking insane yelling across the corridors.

Then there was the second incident. When they had decided to see a movie Bugs had tried to refuse to let them go into the theater by themselves, saying Yakko would be out of his sight, something could happen, blah blah blah. That had actually annoyed Yakko – he usually went into the theater by himself –Bugs had let him do that before. It was never even a question with Foghorn.

He and Athena had even decided to see 'A Troll in Central Park'. It was going to suck, they knew that going in. That's why they had chosen it; movies that were known to suck weren't going to be busy. Suck movies meant no people. No people meant no audiences, and therefore no witnesses.

Bugs had cocked an eyebrow up at the choice and Yakko had been afraid that the rabbit had seen through the rouse. Or he could have been rethinking whether he himself wanted to sit through it.

Yakko had finally had to almost accuse Bugs of trying to sabotage his date; one of the first times he could say that. Bugs may have not like some of his previous dates but he had never been so openly rude to them before or acted like he didn't trust him. When Yakko had come out and asked Bugs if he had ever given him any reason not to have confidence in his judgment the rabbit had finally sighed and relented, telling him to use his head and to come straight out after the credits.

Course he should have known better; Yakko had no idea what the movie was about and he honestly hoped the rabbit never asked for a synopsis. He had been too busy making out. Unfortunately a few kids had decided to see the movie which killed any further action. That was OK, another time. Athena certainly seemed interested in seeing him again.

Glancing over his shoulder again and catching Bugs' eye Yakko said, "Look Athena, I got to go; he's getting irritated." Standing and gently pulling her up too he said, "Promise, I'll call you tomorrow OK? Wakko and Dot are both off with friends this weekend; maybe I can grab one of the others to bring me down here again."

She giggled and said, "Or I can come up there; I do have a car you know."

He had forgotten about that. Sweet – his first mobile girl.

He wasn't sure if he wanted her to come to the tower, at least right now. He liked her, but he really didn't know her that well yet.

Course he wanted to get to know her better – all of her…

"OK. Well, maybe. Let's see how things go all right?"

"OK. I come up there you'll have to give me a tour of the lot." After a second she added, "And the tower; I've never been in a water tower before."

Yakko rolled his eyes; no matter what else he accomplished in life, he was always going to be known as 'the kid that lived in a water tower'.

"Yeah, I'll show you around. I've got to go; I don't want to make him mad OK?"

"Right, your tutor. He'd have you writing lines on a board like Bart Simpson."

"And a friend that's done me a lot of favors," Yakko pointed out. "Don't forget none of the others that usually go with me for these sorts of trips were available."

"Right right," Athena waved him off with a little pout. "Fine. Go if you must handsome, just make sure you call me tomorrow."

"Believe me I will."

Leaning up slightly Yakko gave her another kiss, figuring they had been kissing all night and she had instigated most of them. The least he could do was make the first move on this one. He felt her lips split into a grin before she returned the kiss and broke off.

"I'm going to meet up with a few friends," she added. "Too bad you can't come. We're all driving to a party. They'd love to meet you."

Yakko shrugged. "Sorry, hopefully another time; maybe when I don't have Bugs with me, or he's in a better mood," he added, catching Bugs' dark look.

"Or maybe when he's not around at all," Athena said back, running a finger lightly up his chest.

_What's that mean?_

"Call me tomorrow. Night."

"Bye," Yakko said, giving her a wave as he watched her walk off and again giving thanks to whoever had designed the first pair of low rider jeans.

"Pick your tongue off the floor doc; you're about to step on it."

Yakko jumped slightly as Bugs came up behind him.

"Just watching her Bugs; nothing wrong with that."

Frowning Bugs said, "The mall's closed; shouldn't we walk her out to whoever's picking her up?"

"She's meeting some friends," Yakko shrugged. "I'm sure they'll all walk to her car in-"

"Her car?" Bugs asked and Yakko almost slapped a hand over his face. He had been trying to avoid telling Bugs how old she was.

"I could tell she was a bit older but…she drives? She has a license?"

"She's only two years older than me Bugs; she's not exactly robbing the cradle."

"Says you," Bugs muttered while gesturing for Yakko to walk with him as he pushed open the glass doors of the food court entrance and nodding at the security guard. "I don't know Yakko; she doesn't seem like your type. Or she does which is just as worrying."

Yakko laughed and said, "She's my type all right; pretty, same interests, plays a guitar, a fan of Eddie Vedder-"

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You didn't pick up anything funny from her?"

Thinking for a moment as he waited for Bugs to open the car Yakko said, "Not really. She likes Nine Inch Nails way more than I do and seems to have more of a-"

"Yakko, you didn't think it was odd that she kept asking you - then me - about acting? Or coming to the studio? Or that she was practically screaming to everyone she saw that she was with 'Yakko Warner'? That didn't strike you as a bit abnormal?"

"She was just nervous," Yakko said, grinning as he got in. "Especially since you were there too. Remember me? I could barely talk when I first met you. Come on, you've never had someone freeze up when they first met you?"

"This girl didn't freeze kid, this girl wasn't even slightly nervous. She latched onto me like Peter O'Toole on a case of liquor; I thought she mistook me for her date at one point. And she was parading you around like a show poodle to everyone in hearing range," Bugs added, pointing a finger at him as he started the car. "Can't say I recall any of your other dates doing that."

"She works here Bugs, so she's got a lot of friends here," Yakko said.

He really didn't want to argue with Bugs, not about this, but honestly he never even gave Athena a chance. She was just nervous and she was trying to be friendly, introducing him to her friends.

"Look, Yakko, I've seen girls like this before. Why do you think I can't stand that Lola?"

"Because she has the acting ability of a garden rake and is about as interesting?"

"Well, besides that," Bugs said. "She tries to put on airs with people, always wanting to be seen with a big name in a very public area. Can't tell ya how many times I've left the lot and had her chasing me-"

"She's cute though Bugs! Got a nice shape-"

"Nice shape's not everything Yakko."

_No. Dressing to show off the nice shape helps, _he thought, remembering Athena's jeans and top.

"Really?" Yakko drawled. "When's the last time you had your picture taken with an ugly girl?"

"Well, there was this one time Fudd got really drunk and we suckered him into wearing Granny's-"

"I didn't say a guy in drag, though you probably know all about that," Yakko smirked.

"And I remember you putting on that fright of a dress in 'Chalkboard Bungle' so don't even start with the cross-dressing jokes Mac."

Yakko scowled at being reminded of that; one of the few times he had tried refusing to do a skit.

"Look, the only reason I had to do that was because the dress fit me and Wakko plays the piano better. And it was only one time," he muttered, slumping down in the seat.

"You'd make an ugly girl is all I'll say Yakko. But seriously," Bugs said, holding up a hand as Yakko went to shoot back another comment. "Don't be that shallow; just because she's pretty doesn't mean she hasn't got one ugly interior. Just watch it with this girl doc; I ain't getting a good feeling and I don't want to see ya get hurt."

Rolling his eyes Yakko said, "You don't get a good feeling with any girl I ask out."

"You don't exactly have a record of picking out girls I'd bring home to Mother."

Glancing at Yakko Bugs sighed and said, "Fine, I'll reserve judgment and stay quiet for now. Don't think I won't be watching this one though."

"Go right ahead," Yakko shrugged. "I like her. Give her a chance and look past the green stripes and you'd probably like her too."

"We'll see but I ain't counting on it."

XXXXXXXXXX

February 11, 1995

"Why do we keep coming to these things?" Max muttered while spearing another meatball with his pink plastic fork as a little boy looked at him. When Max glared at him the little boy gulped and ran off, disappearing into the crowd.

"Because we get to watch stunned as you cram amazing amounts of food in the gaping maw you call a mouth," Wakko replied while stretching out in his chair and looking around. "And I have the rep of being a big eater. You got a tapeworm or something?"

Actually, watching Max eat vast quantities of food had probably been one of the most interesting things that had happened; this function had been pretty boring so far. He and Dot had ridden there with Slappy and Skippy; the only good thing about that had been that he actually got to ride in the front of the car for once. The bad thing was that meant Slappy wanted to talk to him about 'the good ole days' since Yakko was riding with Bugs because the rabbit wanted to talk to him about something.

He was still mystified why Bugs had volunteered to come and chaperone this one despite Slappy being there. He had never seen the rabbit come to any of the functions and unlike most of the adults that usually hid in the back somewhere Bugs had actually been out and visible throughout most of it.

Wakko was pretty sure that he would have left as soon as he arrived if he was given his choice. While the girls got to dress a lot more casual than usual, the boys still had to wear ties which he though was a total crock.

Not to mention it was around Valentine's Day and the function had the word 'sweetheart' in it. That of course meant the girls once again had lost their minds and were running around trying to give out cards and candies and all other manner of cutesy stuff he didn't want anything to do with.

Well, except the candy; that was pretty interesting.

And the card Babs had given him wasn't too bad. Elmyra's was sort of lame; it had a picture of two puppies hugging and said 'I woff you so much'. It wasn't as bad as the one she gave Max though; it had a picture of a dog in a trench coat and said 'here's woofing at you kid'.

Fifi…God…he tried not to think about the giant pink and red heart she had given him with lace all over it. And she had seemed mad that he didn't have one for her; hell, Elmyra and Babs weren't mad that he hadn't gotten them one. At least Fifi was mad at all the boys because no one had bought her a card.

He fidgeted slightly; he had bought a flower when they arrived from a cart outside _The Caselotti._ Dot and Skippy saw him buy it and started giggling. Slappy had bugged him about it. She even told Yakko and Bugs when they showed up. She had pretty much told everyone she could find it seemed.

Wakko had quickly thrown it in his Hammerspace; bad enough they had seen him do it. He really didn't need the guys seeing it. He didn't think he'd give it to Elmyra anyway. She'd probably get all insane on him.

But he had it, just in case. She did get him the card after all.

"Up yours mime. So I like the damn meat balls." Looking up from shoveling the hors d'oeuvres in his mouth Max saw Plucky heading toward their table and glared at the duck.

"Plucky keep that plate away from me you moron."

"Calm down Mongoloid, I'm sitting by Wak-"

"Elmyra's sitting here," Wakko pointed out.

Or she had been; she and Babs left for a few minutes to go see a friend but they'd be back. He hoped; as long as she didn't bug him to dance with her again he didn't mind Elmyra sitting next to him. He had been hoping she'd sit next to him; Fifi was going nuts with all the amore stuff and had been trying to hold his hand since she showed up. At least Elmyra seemed content to just sit and bat her eyes at him.

"- and I'm eating the shrimp not rubbing it on your face," Plucky continued, talking over Wakko and plopping down in the seat next to him anyway. "No one's forgot about your allergy; hell, you won't let us," he finished as he began to shovel shrimp cocktail in his beak.

"After that shit last week-"

Wakko and Plucky both started laughing while Max glared at them.

"Dude, seriously, none of us knew that Caesar Salad dressing has anchovies in it," Wakko finally said. "You have a shellfish allergy; how the hell were we supposed to know it meant all seafood?"

It hadn't been funny at the time; it had actually been pretty damn scary. Max was just sitting there with him and Plucky eating his lunch – a chicken Caesar salad – when he said he was staring to feel weird. The next thing Wakko knew Max's face was swelling up and he started complaining his throat was itchy and he sort of fell back. Wakko had actually thought Max was dying.

He was happy Plucky knew what to do, especially since Buster hadn't been around at the time and he was the resident expert on damn near everything. Plucky had started to dig through all of Max's pockets like he was going to rob him and told Wakko to run to get Nurse Miller. He had run across the lot faster than he'd ever moved in his entire life. After babbling out what happened he had practically dragged the poor woman back to the grassy area they had been sitting in.

Come to find out Plucky hadn't been trying to lift Max's wallet; he had been looking for an EpiPen. At Wakko's confused look he had explained it was some sort of needle that Max carried around; all he knew was if he injected it into Max it would ward off the attack.

Nurse Miller had said that was partly right; it was a medicine that treated anaphylactic shock but only temporarily; Max needed to get to the hospital. The next thing Wakko knew Max was being carted off to an ambulance.

The poor guy had ended up spending the night there and listening to Plucky complain to him about not being careful about what he ate. Wakko had a few words for him too; he had scared the hell out of him. Monty was an ass true, but he was a likeable ass. He supposed it wasn't Max's fault; he hadn't known but damn he really had worried everyone. Even Yakko had called to check on him.

"I didn't think it was all seafood," Max groused. "And I had to sit through all those damn tests again to find out that I'm allergic to that now too and I've got to analyze everything before I put it in my mouth. Christ I had to listen to Jeeves make a whole new shopping list with the staff about what could and couldn't be brought into the house because he's a giant ass worry wart."

"Now you see my pain," Wakko said. "You think I get some big kick out of reading labels?"

"Yeah yeah, boo hoo both of you. Be happy I saved your life Monty," Plucky said. "No matter how much I like to see you swell up like a puffer fish I just couldn't-"

Wakko started laughing at the comment, then laughed harder when Max flung a meatball at Plucky, catching him in the eye and splattering sauce on his feathers.

"Nah Pluck, Monty's just afraid that he'll break out and Mary won't-"

Wakko saw Max's arm go back and the meatball soaring at him but wasn't able to move in time. He felt it splatter against his nose before it rolled in his lap.

"Max, you tool," Wakko snapped. "Now I've got sauce on my tie."

"It improves the look, trust me," Max drawled over Plucky's laughing. "Where's the stupid rabbit at?"

"Saw his cousin or something," Wakko answered as he wiped his face. "Said he'd be back later. Here." Picking up the meatball off his black pants he threw it at Max.

"Dipshit," Max said, reaching up to catch it with his left hand and not missing a beat in popping cheese squares in his mouth with his right. "You wanna start a food fight?"

"Watch it Max or I'll toss the shrimp at you," Wakko warned.

"Watch it docs or I'll drown you three in the punch bowl."

Wakko turned to see Bugs standing behind him smirking.

_Whoops._

"Hey Bugs," they all chorused.

"Yeah, hey you three," Bugs said. "What are you maroons doing?"

"Sharing food," Plucky said.

"Right."

Wakko watched, surprised as Bugs pulled another chair from a table and sat down next to them. He hadn't expected Bugs to come sit with them. There were a few more chaperones than normal around this time, but for the most part they had stayed back against the wall, only occasionally coming forward and breaking a couple apart. That included Yakko and his new girlfriend or whatever she was. She had pounced on him the moment he showed up. Yakko had been looking sort of irritated prior to that; he sure seemed to cheer up when he saw her though.

Wakko shook his head; he didn't think she was very pretty or very nice. Slappy had said the dress she was wearing was so tight she looked like a furry denim-wrapped sausage.

The green stripes in her black hair looked weird and she talked really loud. It was sort of like Elmyra when she was really excited and she screamed and squealed, except that Elmyra didn't do that very often. This Athena girl had done it the entire uncomfortable three minutes he had been forced to talk to her before Buster dragged him away.

And she had barely spoken to him or Dot when introduced. Maybe that was because Dot called her 'mold-head'. Yakko hadn't seemed real pleased with Dot's comment if the way he snapped at her was any indication but Wakko had thought it was funny. After that he had barely seen his brother; they had disappeared behind the door that led to the outer corridor for awhile before being chased back inside. He bet they were back there kissing; he'd go harass him later. If Yakko wanted to sit there and suck face with a girl, he could at least pick a nice one.

"Where's the other member of this little goon squad?" Bugs asked.

"Ran off with his cousin," Max said, finally taking a break from eating the meatballs and cheese. "Told the Mime he'd be back later."

Half-listening to Bugs chat with Plucky and Max about the Mongoloid's recent growth spurt and his new allergy Wakko looked around the function again.

It was pretty dull; it reminded him of one of the tea parties Dot liked to hold, especially if Molly was around. He had attended one of those horrible things at Yakko's insistence; he called it retribution for all the things Wakko had probably done that he hadn't been caught for. Wakko thought it was more likely that they wanted a 'gentleman' there and Yakko hadn't wanted to play.

He got out of it easily enough though; spitting the watery tea at them and the dolls and eating all the Oreos despite the fact that his pancreas almost went into shock proved to them that he wasn't a 'gentleman' after all. He had been able to stagger out of Dot's frilly bedroom in less than five minutes.

This function was slightly better if only because his friends were there. Yeah, there were stupid pink and white streamers all over the place and heart-shaped cutouts plastered all over the walls, but at least the food and the company was decent.

Wakko looked to the left to see Dot dancing around with Molly, Skippy doing a few rather pathetic attempts at dancing himself. Meanwhile at the table Hampton talked to Webbigale and gorged himself on whatever he had piled on his plate.

Deciding that his sister and her friends were even less interesting than the actual function he continued looking around, feeling a slight sneer come over his face at seeing Gosalyn, Tank and the fat kid from 'Goof Troop' talking in the corner.

Tank looked up, saw him and shook his fist slightly. Wakko smirked and gave him the finger; he was pretty sure he could take the tubby guy even if he was in the middle of going into a diabetic shock. When Gosalyn looked over he waved at her then snickered when she gave him the finger. The other kid – PJ he thought – gave him a dark look before directing his gaze toward Dot's table and dragging the other two off.

Wakko frowned; bunch of bullies. Tank probably outweighed everyone at Dot's table combined and that was including Hambone in the mix. Real tough guy, beating up on a bunch of little girls. And Hampton and Skippy, but they hardly qualified as boys half the time.

Looking back at Max and catching his eye, he quickly signed what happened to the boy, who gave a curt nod before speaking to Bugs again about whatever they were talking about. Wakko sincerely doubted Gosalyn would do anything, especially with so many adults wandering around, but it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the table. Best case they could go practice with their mallets on Tank's head; that'd liven things up.

Glancing to the right he saw Sonic, leaning against a wall by the entranceway with his arm around Sally Acorn and talking to Buster, Babs and Elmyra. Or rather Buster was fanboying on the guy while Babs, Elmyra and a tall purple bunny looked on amused.

Wakko smirked before shrugging; Sonic seemed OK with Buster practically drooling on him. Maybe he was happy that he was an integral part of Buster's lifelong dream and now the rabbit could die happy.

He made a mental note to bug Buster about it later, complete with his leaps of excitement and fawning demeanor. Rarely did Wakko have good ammunition to use against him and damn it he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to torture his best friend; Buster would do the same to him. Hell, he frequently did.

Smirking he looked down the wall from where they were standing and rolled his eyes. Yakko with that girl, their arms entwined and feeding each other cupcakes.

Spew.

He knew Yakko liked her for some unfathomable reason – he talked about her a lot -more than any of the other girls he had seen and she sure did call a lot but did he need to make it so obvious? Wakko grimaced; he'd just ate and watching them get all lovey-dovey was going to make him hurl. At least before he used to hide when he wanted to play kissy-face; now though he was just right out in front of everyone.

Disgusting.

"What's wrong Wak?"

Turning to look at Plucky he said, "Yakko and his new girlfriend."

"Her hair's an even uglier shade of green than your feathers," Max said, leaning up in his chair to get a better look before he glanced over at Plucky. "I never thought I'd be able to say that."

"Piss off Max-"

"Hey, watch it bub," Bugs said, raising an eyebrow at Plucky. "I'd think you'd be smart enough to cool that sort of talk when I'm right in front of you."

"Yeah Plucky, save that for when he leaves," Wakko snickered. "Not that we talk like that when you're not around of course," he hastily added seeing Bugs direct his gaze toward him.

"Of course not," Bugs drawled. "You three angels are paragons of virtue and innocence." Following where they were looking he shook his head and added, "Ah, all three of my students. Typical, Babs is the only one not making a fool of herself."

"Come on," Wakko sighed, pushing himself away from the table. "Let's go grab Buster before he drowns everyone in a big puddle of drool."

"Buster looks like he's doing OK," Bugs said, narrowing his eyes slightly. "He's having his moment; that's what's-his-face from some game."

"Sonic," the three of them answered.

"Right. Yakko looks like he could use some help."

Wakko leaned up to look at his brother again. Nope, Yakko was acting like his normal goofy self when he was with a girl. Dopey grin, running his hands down her face and through her hair while she giggled and cooed and kissed on him.

"I don't know Bugs," Max shrugged. "Seems like he's doing his usual thing to me."

"Yeah, stripes is giving his face a tongue bath," Plucky added. "Seems like he's enjoying it as much as what he was telling Kit about-"

"What's that?" Bugs asked, stopping from glaring at Yakko and Athena to turn his attention back to them.

"Oh, he said the Princess girl tried to make him eat the backseat, she threw him down so hard," Wakko answered, trying to remember everything they overheard. They hadn't been able to hear much between their laughing and Yakko hearing them as quickly as he had. They had heard enough to mostly figure out that Yakko was probably doing a lot more than kissing though. "And Kit said that just went to show how great her props-"

"What? No, never mind, I can figure it out," Bugs said hurriedly, putting his hands up and muttering 'kid doesn't listen to a word I say'.

Wakko grinned; Foghorn usually said that about him.

"Look, why don't you three ding-a-lings go say hi to his new girlfriend?" Bugs suggested while propping his chin up in his hand and looking at them. "Bet she'd love to meet you guys."

"Probably not," Wakko said. "She's not very friendly."

"She looks pretty friendly to me," Plucky said.

"Take my word for it she's real friendly," Bugs drawled. "I bet Yakko'd just love to introduce you guys. He was telling me on the way over here she wanted to meet some of his friends, and you two qualify, especially since your names are 'Duck' and 'Max'," he said, pointing to Plucky and Max. "And you're his brother-"

"I don't think she liked me," Wakko added.

"Trust me, your last name's 'Warner' and you're related; she likes you well enough."

_What does that mean?_

"Huh?" Wakko asked, relieved to hear Max and Plucky say the same thing.

"Nothing boys. OK, you three like dares?"

Wakko nodded a bit hesitantly, wondering where this was going. Dares could be OK sometimes, it depended on what it was. He never turned down a dare; no matter what it was or how stupid you'd look or how much trouble you'd get in, you couldn't refuse when 'dared' to do something. To do so would bring all hope of ever looking cool again to a screeching halt.

And he bet Bugs could come up with some ugly dares if he put his mind to it.

"I got a dare for you three; do it and I'll take you off lot for pizza next week. I know you three like pizza if what Bernie's said is any indication."

Wakko listened as Bugs talked; this dare was a breeze. Simply go up and introduce themselves to Yakko's girlfriend in their 'usual charming manner'? He had expected more from Bugs really.

Nodding Wakko stood, taking another look at Dot's table. They looked all right; Dot was currently holding both of Skippy's hands and showing him some dance routine. Wakko shook his head again before saying bye to a very pleased looking Bugs and leading his friends across the floor toward Yakko while Max said that the stupid bunny was gonna go broke with all the pizza he'd have to buy and the other stupid bunny was missing out because he was too busy trying to kiss Sonic's ass to join in on the fun.

Wakko nodded and waved at Buster to come over; if he participated he bet Bugs would take him anyway. Besides, they had been handed a free pass to go watch Yakko and harass him and not get into trouble. It would be a shame to miss that.

XXXXXXXXXX

"And you don't think it's weird do you? I just like you so much I wanted to tell you all about me."

"Well…"

Yakko trailed off, unsure of what to say as Athena anxiously grabbed his face with her hands and forced him to look at her. He had to honestly say he had never had any girl he had dated, or talked to, or met – hell, he'd admit it. He had never even heard of anyone owning a mummified rabbit head in a jar. When she said she had something to tell him he was hoping it was along the lines of 'I figured out a way to get past the security guard at the lot'.

Unfortunately the few times she had wanted to come up a guard who was not an idiot like Ralph had been on duty and she hadn't been able to get on. She had tried to get him to sneak off the lot, but he wasn't quite that foolhardy.

Tempted of course, but temptation could be fought.

"Please tell me you still like me Yakko," she cooed in his ear. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I'll even get rid of it if it makes you that nervous."

"No, no it's OK."

_As long as I don't have to see it._

She pointed out that it was a gift to her from a friend who had visited New Orleans and that it would have been rude to get rid of it. Personally, Yakko would have thrown it in the trash the first opportunity he got, but apparently Athena liked the odd thing.

"Well I think it's weird; what the hell kind of nut are you?"

Yakko started at the gravely voice behind him before he closed his eyes.

_Not again…_

"Bugs wanted us to meet her why?" Buster asked.

_Bugs huh?_

Yakko sighed. OK, fine, he asked for this one.

Bugs had been a real pain about this the last few weeks. He had never gotten over his initial dislike of Athena and hadn't missed many attempts to let Yakko know it. Yakko had a feeling that Bugs was behind the sudden drop off of Foghorn or Porky being able to chaperone his dates, especially since if he wanted to go anywhere that didn't include Athena they were both available.

If they asked if it was for a date though, all of a sudden they were busy and told him to call Bugs or Slappy and horrifically enough, Plotz.

No way was he going that route.

Bugs and Slappy were always available; they hadn't tried telling him not to go anywhere with her, but they were real pains when they came along. Usually the date began with the drive there and tons of unwanted advice about girls trying to 'use' him or how associating with 'certain people' could reflect badly on him, his siblings, them or the studio. Usually something was thrown in there about how much of a role model he was and how everyone looked up to him and he needed to constantly think about that whether he wanted to or not.

Then when they arrived at wherever he was meeting Athena they would hang in the shadows and glare at them which he really tried to ignore but it was still unnerving.

Usually after the date was another talk about how the girl handled herself and what they thought and blah blah blah.

Yakko was at the point where he was tempted to tell Bugs and Slappy both to back off. He was fourteen and a half and had always handled himself well. He was practically raising two younger siblings single-handedly and had been most of his life. He had managed to survive homelessness, a riot, an earthquake and a car accident.

Looking back on it, while he had blundered his way through most of it and been incredibly lucky through about seventy-five percent of his life, he had handled himself pretty damn well he thought. He was pretty sure he could decide what girl he wanted to date.

Today on the way over here he had almost snapped at Bugs and told him to butt out.

Almost – he hadn't been driven there yet.

Hopefully they would see that he was old enough to make his own choices. They may not approve of his choices but they could at least respect them.

Yes, she was older and a bit more frisky than the girls he usually saw but he could make his own decisions. The last he remembered the _Guardian Ad Slavus_ stated he was in charge of himself and his siblings while they were at the lot and for composing himself in a way that reflected positively on the studio when they weren't.

He hadn't done anything wrong; he was simply seeing a new girl. So what if the girl was interested in his chosen career? It didn't mean that she had some ulterior motive. Bugs – Slappy too – were old fashioned. She just asked a lot of questions and there was nothing wrong with being curious…right?

It didn't help that Bugs seemed to have gotten Slappy involved in his newest attempt to get Yakko to see a more acceptable girl, so now he had both of them on his back. It was bad enough dealing with just one of them.

And now apparently Bugs was sending in the midget squad to annoy him. They were pains but he sincerely doubted that having them bug him for a few minutes would make him change his mind.

Fine, that's what he got for challenging Bugs to do his worst when the rabbit said he would show Yakko what the girl was really like. Yakko would like to think he knew Athena a lot better than Bugs did. Hell, he'd better; he was the one dating her.

He wasn't going to stop seeing her simply because Bugs decided to send over the runts to bother him. It was better than having the rabbit breathing down his neck though and since he and Athena actually hadn't been doing anything besides talking – and a bit of kissing – they for once hadn't actually interrupted anything too potentially embarrassing.

"I almost expected you ding-a-lings to show up," Yakko sighed. "Fine. Athena, you met Wakko; here's the rest of his posse. There's Buster Bun-"

"Buster? Buster Bunny?" Athena gasped, using one hand to clutch Yakko's shirt while extending the other hand out to the boy. "I love your show! I watch it all the time!"

"Why?" he glared and ignored her proffered hand. "Trying to pick out what animal you wanna embalm next?"

"Calm down Bunny – Nefer-tit-tit there isn't going to mummify you," Plucky said.

"Nefertiti dumbass," Max muttered.

Yakko for once decided to ignore the language – if he did maybe he could get them away from him sooner.

"Though have to say Yak, your choice in girls seems to be going downhill," Plucky said, not the least bit concerned that he totally screwed up one of the most famous names of ancient times. "At least before you picked pretty girls that weren't trying to look like a cheap imitation of Phyllis Gabor."

"This coming from a duck covered in green feathers," Yakko said dryly. "Come on guys, how about trying to be a little friendly?"

"I think you're getting friendly enough for all of us," Wakko said, grinning and leaning on the still fuming Buster. "I mean come on Yak, if you two are gonna kiss and rub all over each other at least get out of sight. People are trying to eat out here."

Sighing and ignoring Athena' giggling Yakko said, "We weren't doing anything but talking – didn't you need to go give Elmyra her present?"

Wakko immediately wiped the smile off his face and Yakko smirked. One down, three to go.

"I don't have anything to give her," he muttered as the other three turned to shoot him somewhat evil smirks.

"Not what I heard," Yakko said smugly as Athena snuggled up to him. "Slappy said she sa-"

"Hi Yakko."

Yakko cut off as a bright voice came joining in the conversation and he managed to stifle a sigh as he looked down.

Babs. He raised an eyebrow as she shyly waved at him. And she wasn't alone; Elmyra was happily grinning up at him too. Behind them he could see Dot and Molly heading toward him with a tall lilac rabbit walking between the two girls. Molly caught his eye and started waving both hands at him while yelling his name across the floor.

So much for hoping they could sneak away for a few minutes.

"Hi ya cuddlehead," Elmyra said while throwing her arms around his waist. "Happy Valentine's Day. Hi, pretty kitty, I'm Elmyra," she added, smiling at Athena.

Yakko raised an eyebrow at the look Athena sent down to her as she tightened her grip on his arm.

Letting him go Elmyra reached into the pocket of her dress. Yakko thought she really shouldn't be wearing powder pink considering her hair color but kept the thought to himself and watched as she pulled out an envelope.

"I got you a card."

"Oh – thanks Elmyra," he said awkwardly, taking it from the girl.

He felt sort of bad; he hadn't thought about getting the little girls cards. He should have figured that Elmyra would have gotten him one; she always got him a card on his birthday or a holiday. Usually Babs did-

"Hey Yakko," Babs said, before she threw her arms around his waist on the other side and banging into Athena who glared down at her. "Sorry; I'm Babs Bunny – not related to the smelly patch of blue fur over there."

"I know who you are," Athena said. "I watch the show."

"Oh good, glad you like it. Anyway," Babs said before looking back at Yakko. "I got you one too."

Yakko watched as Babs reached into her Hammerspace and pulled out a card as well. He sighed; he really should have brought the girls something. Now they all probably thought he was a big jerk. He liked the little girls; if nothing else they were being a hell of a lot more polite to Athena than the boys were. He knew none of the little boys probably bought them anything; ten-year-old boys didn't think about that on Valentine's Day, but he should have.

The only one he had bought anything for was Athena, and she seemed delighted with the box of candy and the bouquet of flowers. It was cliché and trite, but it was the usual gifts for the holiday. She thought he was the perfect gentleman for bringing them to her and immediately started preening and showing them to anyone who looked at her for longer than three seconds.

He didn't have the heart to tell her he had forgotten all about the stupid holiday and had bought them at the last minute. He hadn't even really wanted to attend the function; the only reason he had was because the studio insisted he make an appearance and because Dot had wanted to go so badly.

Plus Athena said she'd meet him here. And she had too; she had practically thrown herself on him when he arrived and had proudly held onto his arm as they had their picture taken by a couple of news reporters that had been hanging around.

He looked up; Dot, Molly and the other girl had stopped to speak to a few people on the dance floor. He grinned a little; Dot was supposed to be his 'date'; he still couldn't help laughing at how adorable that was. At least she didn't seem too perturbed that her 'date' had sort of ignored her the entire time. He frowned slightly; he probably should have paid more attention to her but her instant dislike of Athena had annoyed him. Dot wasn't usually that judgmental, especially when first meeting someone.

He shrugged it off; Bugs and Slappy had practically announced their dislike of Athena without even saying a word. Dot probably picked up on that; he doubted his seven-year-old sister was able to spot something that he missed. Wakko had seemed uncomfortable talking to her, but he guessed that was because Athena was a girl.

Though Wakko and Dot could be unusually perceptive at times…

Yakko glanced over at Athena. She seemed to have gotten over Babs bumping into her and was busy purring very softly and clinging to his arm.

Babs and Elmyra finally let go of his waist while the boys made gagging noises behind them.

"Oh, looks like he didn't get you guys anything," she said to Babs and Elmyra. Narrowing her eyes she added, "He bought me candy and flowers – wanna see them?"

Yakko looked at her in surprise before looking down at Babs and Elmyra, who blinked at the girl and actually looked hurt. Yakko raised his eyebrows at Athena. No, he hadn't brought them as much as a candy heart but did she really need to point that out? It seemed sort of mean and totally pointless.

"That's OK cuddle-head," Elmyra said. "You didn't have to."

Yakko looked up and saw Wakko looking at Elmyra and was a bit shocked to see that his brother looked upset.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair and thought. This was Bugs' fault; he shouldn't have sent the younger kids over there to bother him. Now he had a bunch of upset children gathered around him.

"Yeah, that's OK," Babs added. Turning to Buster she said, "You wanna dance?"

"No and get away from her," Buster snapped as he grabbed the top of her shirt and dragged her back. "Do you know she likes to mummify rabbits?"

Yakko heard Babs and Elmyra say 'ewwww' and rolled his eyes. OK, yes, it was a bit weird, he could admit that. But she said it was a present; it wasn't like she went out and found the corpse, picked it up and put it in a jar. Now both girls were looking at him like he just tried to give them a roach.

"Look Babs, Elmyra," Yakko said, shaking his arm to free it from Athena' grasp to crouch down to the much shorter girls. "I didn't get you cards and I'm sorry. How about I dance with you later to make it up to you?"

"What?" Athena snapped. "I thought I was your date. You're supposed to dance with me!"

Yakko turned to look up at her while Babs and Elmyra looked delighted.

"You are – come on Athena, we've danced already and I'm stuck here for the duration of this thing. Promise we'll dance again. Look you guys," Yakko said, turning back to Babs and Elmyra. "Go do something else, I'll find you in a few minutes OK?"

"You better Yakko – you owe me a dance now," Babs said, jamming a finger in his chest. "Come on 'Myra let's find Fifi."

_God I hope I don't have to dance with her too._

"OK! Bye cuddlehead," Elmyra said, throwing her arms around his waist again before being pulled off by Babs.

_OK, they're gone. Now to get rid of the others._

"Don't you four have anything else to do?"

"No," they trilled at him.

_Damn._

"Nah, just watching ya flirt with all the girls here playa," Buster said. "I think you ticked off your ghoulish friend though," he added, pointing to Athena.

Yakko turned to look at her; she did look a bit huffy. He frowned and wondered what she was mad about. He was going to go dance with a couple of little girls; he couldn't believe she'd be jealous of that while trying to think if he inadvertently offended her. She did seem angry; her claws were partially unsheathed.

"She's probably mad because you four won't leave us alone. How about you go bother Bugs since he was so keen to come to this little shindig?"

"Nah, we've done that already," Wakko said. "Now we're gonna watch you with your newest Princess of Props."

Watching the four boys crack up Yakko closed his eyes. So much for Wakko saying they hadn't heard anything. He'd deal with that later.

"What's that mean?" Athena snapped.

"Nothing," Yakko answered hastily.

Athena got unreasonable about his prior dates. That also surprised him; it could hardly be considered cheating if he saw girls prior to her. He wasn't a monk up until he met her; he didn't get mad because she saw guys before him.

Shaking his head he hissed to the four boys, "Look you four. I'm older and more creative; you've seen that first hand. Do you really want to annoy me right now?"

He sighed when they nodded their heads. How was he going to get rid of them?

"Yakko, trust me, we're doing you a favor," Buster said. "I mean, a mummified rabbit head? Do you know how sick that is? No wonder Bugs isn't a fan."

Pausing for a moment Wakko looked up at Yakko and said, "Hey…can I see it?"

"Yeah, I sort of want to see it too," Max said.

"What?" Buster yelled. "You want to see it?" Pointing a finger at them he raged, "You're a bunch of sickos too!"

"What? No! Wait!" Wakko called to Buster as he stormed off. "Buster I was only joking! Sort of…"

With that Wakko ran off after Buster and Yakko sighed in relief. Only two more now.

"Look Max, you made Buster mad-"

"Who cares?" Max shrugged. "It's not the first time and he'll get over it."

"True," Plucky agreed. "Now Yakko, continue where you left off. Max and I want to watch the show."

"Get lost you two," Yakko warned.

He wondered again why he was the one lucky enough to have been picked the object of the four cretin's curiosity. He really wished Kit had come to this silly thing; he could send them over to bug him for awhile.

He jumped slightly when he felt Athena softly run her hand up his back and was thankful that her claws were sheathed again.

"Come on Yakko, let's leave the little boys and go do something fun."

"You two gonna swap spit again?" Plucky asked.

Yakko made a half-hearted attempt to grab the duck.

"Come on Pluck, look at her! Just swapping spit," Max scoffed. Smirking he added, "I bet she knows all sorts of tricks. The only difference between her and the Titanic is that the Titanic only went down on fifteen hundred people."

_Oh that little-_

Ignoring Athena's hiss of anger Yakko reached out, intent on throttling Max. Unfortunately the boy was agile; he nimbly leapt up and out of the way, grabbing Plucky's arm in the process. Laughing, both boys disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor while shouting something about pizza.

Yakko clenched his fists; he'd definitely find the four of them later.

Fuming he turned to look back at Athena, who was now looking happy.

"Sorry. Told ya, Wakko and his friends have made it their life's work to annoy me."

"It's OK," she said, nuzzling his neck. "I loved how you jumped in to defend me and my honor. You would have beaten them; made them take it back which is why I love you."

"Uh…right."

_Love? Beaten them? _

It was a group of ten and eleven year olds; he likely wouldn't have 'beaten them'. Usually when he lunged at them it was a sign that the game was over and they took off. He honestly wasn't sure what he'd do if he actually caught them; worst case he'd probably try to make them apologize. They might but with Plucky and Max it was hard to say.

And what was this 'love' business? He liked her; hell, he better if the way he was arguing with everyone was any indication, but he really wasn't sure it was love.

"Yakko! Yakko! Hey Yakko look down here yeah see me huh huh huh? Yakko!"

Sighing he looked down as he felt someone tugging on his pants. If he didn't look down she'd probably rip them off. She definitely had gotten into the punch and candy bowls.

"Hi Molly."

"Hi Yakko!" Throwing her arms around his thigh she beamed up at him. "Happy Valentine's Day! I got you a card wanna see?"

"Sure Molly-"

"Good cuz it's really nice because I made it! All by myself too I didn't even have Mommy help me and I used a whole bottle of red and silver sprinkles and glue and-"

Yakko half listened to Molly as she dug through her pockets and told him exactly how she made the card. He glanced back at Athena who was looking angry again.

_What the hell? _

"-and hi I'm Molly are you Yakko's new girlfriend?"

"Yes," Athena said.

"Oh, that's good Mommy didn't like his other one and she said she was a soiled dove but she wasn't a dove see and-"

"Wow Molly this is great," Yakko said hurriedly while taking the red clump of construction paper that he assumed was supposed to be a heart from her. Anything to get her to stop talking.

Though he didn't know Ms. Cunningham didn't like his last date either. Jeeze, he never picked out a girl anyone liked. Well, at least Ms. Cunningham kept her opinion to herself; be nice if a few others would do the same.

He looked down at the card; it was cute he supposed. Molly had spelt his name with only one 'K' which amused him, mostly because she had spelled the much longer word 'Valentine' correctly. But she was right on one thing; she must have used a whole bottle of sprinkles and glue because the heart felt like it weighed about three pounds.

"Thanks Molly, this is really special. I'm gonna put it up on the refrigerator when I get home. Oh, and this is Athena. Athena, this is Molly."

"Hi!" Molly screamed at Athena while thrusting her hand out to her.

"Hi yourself," Athena said, looking bored and ignoring Molly's hand. "I used to watch your show sometimes." Looking at Yakko she said, "Friend of your sister I'm guessing?"

Yakko nodded.

"Yeah, she's Dot's best friend and my agent's daughter-"

"Oh really? How interesting," Athena purred while smiling down at the beaming girl. "Tell me Molly, where's your Mom at? I really liked her on your show."

"She's with the adults in the back doing stuff. Did you know you have green stuff in your hair?"

"Hey Molly, where's Dot at?" Yakko asked, trying to change the subject. Athena seemed to be warming to Molly, no sense in having the sugar-fueled girl make her upset about her choice of hair color.

"She's with April! That's the girl that helped us pick out our outfits didn't Dot tell you?"

He tried to remember; he recalled Dot babbling about meeting a model or something but he didn't really pay that much attention to it. All he heard was that she managed to finally find an outfit which put her little fears to rest and that meant he didn't have to listen to her about it anymore. Course he had been on the phone with Athena at the time she was trying to tell him all that; it was hard carrying on two conversations at once.

"Yeah, I think she did Mol-"

"Yakko!"

Yakko felt himself pushed off balance for a moment when a black and pink blur came screaming up to him, latching around his other leg. Athena was knocked back a few steps as well and he managed to stifle the yelp as he felt her claws momentarily sink into his shirt.

His 'date' had arrived, her face lit up like Times Square on New Years Eve. He wondered what she was so excited about.

"Yakko! Yakko I gotta talk to you now about something really important!"

"OK. Calm down and try talking instead of screaming-"

She didn't and he sighed again. Maybe if he let her babble for a few minutes she'd wind down enough to let him in on whatever was so important.

"- and she said we would be perfect, can we do it Yakko? Please? The tryouts are later and-"

"Dot, I don't even know what you're talking-"

"Hi Yakko, I'm April."

Yakko spun around as well as he was able with both legs being hung onto by two shouting children. Plus Athena was latched back onto his left arm again and was pulling so hard he was afraid she was going to yank it out of the socket.

And now he was staring into the face of a purple bunny who seemed pretty damn amused about something. Of course if he was watching everyone yanking on someone like this, he'd probably be entertained too.

She wasn't bad looking; a little on the skinny side maybe but she had a pretty face and nice lilac eyes. Athena was more mature looking, curvier.

He winced when he felt Athena's claws begin digging into his upper arm and he turned from scrutinizing April to look at her. She must have noticed what he was doing because she gave him a sweet smile and leaned forward to peck him on the lips. And she sheathed her razor-like claws again which made him happy; she kept that up and his shirt would be in tatters.

"Dot said I should come meet you," April said, extending her arm out. "I love your show! And it's great to see you looking so fit after that horrible accident; shame about the season though."

Yakko struggled to lean forward enough to reach the girl's hand without tipping over and tried to shake Molly and Dot off his legs.

"Thanks, nice to meet you."

"Yakko – this is the model that helped us pick out outfits for today-"

_Oh. Right. _

"-and she said we should be models too!" Dot was chattering. "Can I do it? Please?"

"You're a model?" Athena asked, narrowing her eyes at April and trying to talk over Dot and Molly's talking. "For what?"

"The Diamond Tiara-"

"Oh. A children's clothing chain," Athena said dismissively while wrapping her arm tighter around Yakko.

He watched in surprise and some amusement as Athena shot April a smile that didn't quite reach her still-narrowed eyes before she spoke again.

"I should have guessed; an adult store would want you to have some curves. I've never shopped there; too cutesy and mainstream. I prefer a more mature store."

"Yes, well, I know the poorly made mass-produced clothing you buy at Hot Topic is really cutting edge," April replied while eyeing Athena's dress. "I prefer that the clothing I wear actually fit me correctly and not look like something that was dragged through a back alley before I drape it over my curve-less body." Smiling sweetly at Athena she asked, "And what chain do you model for?"

Yakko heard Athena inhale sharply and decided to step in. Not that watching the entire spat wasn't amusing as all hell and Athena did sort of start it with the crack on the other girl's store, but if he didn't step in and do something they might start fighting…

Why was he stopping this?

"Yes, well, I certainly find the topic of clothing stores fascinating. Glad to see this store has such a pretty model," he said while smiling at April.

Then he felt Athena tighten her grip and growl quietly.

_OK, obviously the wrong thing to say,_ he thought as he watched the two girls glare at each other while Dot and Molly looked on, Molly confused and Dot glaring at Athena.

Shit. Now he had Athena mad. He really hated this function; he wasn't ever coming to another Valentine's Day tea or whatever this was he didn't care how much Dot wanted to go or how much the studio wanted him to attend. Plotz could come to the damn thing himself if he wanted the studio represented. Apparently all girls got catty at these dances whether they really were cats or not.

"Not that they couldn't use another model," he said hastily. Seeing Athena's glare and remembering her hatred of the store he looked down at Dot instead. "Dot, what were you saying? Modeling?"

Dot finally returned his look and said, "Well, April – you know the pretty model that doesn't have hair that looks like Plucky wiped his butt with it," she clarified before being cut off.

Yakko quickly shot a hand over her mouth while Athena snorted and April and Molly smirked.

"Dot," he said in the voice he usually reserved for when he was giving them a final warning.

What was wrong with her? She never acted like this.

Shaking her head free of his hand she said, "Right, the color of mildew is beautiful."

Yakko glared at her and she smiled before continuing.

"She said the store is looking for new models for the younger side! She said me and Molly would be perfect!"

"Yeah Yakko!" Molly added. "And since neither of us has hair that looks like a witch's she said we should do it!"

"I just told them about the search," April said with a shrug. "They were asking me about my job. They have the look and they are already well known plus they said they shop there a lot. I know Ms. Reinger wants all potential models to have their agents call. She's going to start looking at portfolios in March or April."

Yakko looked at the girl before looking down at Dot and running his hand through his hair. He hated being put on the spot like this. Figures she couldn't ask this in private when he had an opportunity to think or find someone who knew about it.

"Um…maybe. I don't know, modeling's hard work. I don't know anything about it and I know that much-"

"Not really, not for this," April said. "It's for a clothing store that has three locations. We show up, take a few pictures and get paid. It's not exactly a high end fashion shoot for the pages of Vogue."

"Can we Yakko? Please?"

"Dot, I don't know," Yakko started to say before seeing her hopeful face.

OK – he didn't know anything about modeling and up until about three minutes ago had had absolutely no desire to fill that gap in his general knowledge.

He knew it was hard work – who would think standing around wearing clothes would be tough? It actually sounded incredibly dull. Looking at Dot though she seemed pretty excited by the idea.

A lot of that probably had to do with the fact that someone was actually paying attention to Dot and wanted her to do something – and with her friend too. Dot hadn't said much, but Yakko knew she was a little jealous that Wakko had got to do a commercial with his friends. The commercial had been so well received that the boys had gotten several other prospective offers which had filled Ms. Cunningham with glee and seemed to bore the four boys.

_Ms. Cunningham…_

"Ehhhhh, Molly, what did your Mom say?"

"Oh I haven't asked her yet Yakko! Dot wanted to ask you first!"

_Figures. OK, the season's over anyway…_

"How about this Dot? Monday I'll call Ms. Cunningham and talk to her about it. Chances are she knows more about this than me."

_She better; that's what I'm paying her for._

"Oh Yakko, why wait?" Athena purred in his ear. "We can go ask her now and I'd love to meet her. You said she was another one of your friends."

Yakko jumped; his arm had gone numb from her squeezing it and he had honestly forgotten about her. Looking at her he decided to not point that out; she was looking happy again.

He heard Dot mutter something under her breath but chose to ignore it.

"Fine," he said. "You wanted to meet her anyway; let's see if we can get back to where-"

"There's no hurry of course," April said, cutting him off and earning herself another glare from Athena. "Talk to her Monday. The agents should know who to call and I've heard she's one of the better ones around." Extending her hand out again she said, "I've got to go; my boyfriend's waiting for me. It was really nice to meet you."

Yakko nodded while taking her hand, slightly disappointed. All the cute ones had boyfriends. He gritted his teeth at Athena' tightening grip and remembered that he had a girlfriend. Sort of. He never had really asked her to be his girlfriend but damned if he didn't seem to be considered her boyfriend already.

That wasn't a bad thing; she was hot, intelligent and seemed to adore him even if she was a bit possessive. The only bad thing was that he couldn't exactly look around, at least when he was with her. It was even more unfortunate because as he was watching April walk away he noticed that she wasn't exactly curve-less. True, they weren't as pronounced as Athena's but she had a decent shape and her skirt-

"Hey Yakko come on look down here at me!"

Yakko was startled out of watching April walk off by Molly screaming his name again and Dot yanking on his belt.

"No Yakko, look at me," Athena said, gently grabbing his chin and turning it towards her. "I think I'll have to work harder to keep your attention focused on where it should be."

"Hey, I knew him first," Molly pouted. "He should talk to me before you."

Looking at Athena for a second he pulled his arm off and said, "Hold on for a second." Crouching down to Molly and Dot he said, "Look, why don't you go find Wakko and his friends and pester them for a while?"

"How come?" Dot asked. "I don't want to see him."

"Because you'll be doing me a big favor," he said. "And if you do I'll dance with each of you – I know you two like that."

Boy did they. Anytime he danced with either of them they both acted like they won the lottery. Probably because none of the other boys were at the age where they would consider dancing cool.

Except Skippy. He was sort of weird though. He actually always wanted to dance.

Like Foghorn said, 'If a boy – I say – If a boy that age is interested in dancing, like as not they ain't gonna ever be interested in girls…know what I'm saying son?'

Yakko shook his head. Foghorn was probably right.

He ignored Dot and Molly's screams of glee, half-heartedly returned their hugs that they threw around his neck before running off, screaming for Wakko, Buster and the 'other butt-heads'. He also ignored Athena' mutter – something along the lines of 'that head would be a great addition'.

Now he had promised four little girls. His dance card was probably full already and he hadn't intended on dancing with anyone today. Except Athena – and when he turned he saw that she looked like she was fuming.

"You keep promising all these other girls to dance!" she huffed before taking his hands. "Yet not me. You don't want to do anything with me Yakko just say so."

"What?" He stared at her for a second before pulling his hands back and saying, "Are you joking? A bunch of little girls? And my sister? Please tell me you're not jealous of that."

No, dancing with any of them wasn't exactly going to be the highlight of his year – OK, maybe with Dot. Molly would simply happily scream in his ear like usual and the other two would probably just giggle all over him. He didn't mind doing it really; it always seemed to make them happy and at most would take up about three-quarters of an hour.

Yeah, he could give up an hour to make them happy; it was just the kind of guy he was. He twisted his face slightly; most of the other girls he had dated had seemed to think it was cute. Athena was acting like a seven-year-old was moving in on her turf.

It wasn't exactly like any of them were in competition with her; was she that petty that she was going to be resentful of a few seven and ten-year olds? And did he even want to associate with someone like that?

"Oh Yakko, no. No, that's not what I meant at all," Athena said. Tearing up she leapt at him, throwing her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry," she sniffed quietly.

"Hey, it's OK," Yakko said, hugging her.

_Damn, didn't mean to make her cry._

"It's just…I always feel so inadequate around all your big Hollywood friends," she said in a shaky voice. "I mean famous actors, actresses, models – I'm just a cookie store cashier – why should you like me when you got some big name model throwing herself at you-"

"Calm down Athena," he said, hugging her tighter. "She wasn't a big name model; like you said, just a little girl at a clothing store right? I hardly paid attention to her."

_One little lie can't hurt._

"Hey," he added, taking her chin in his hand so she would look up at him. "Who am I here right now with? Some little girl or you?" Thinking quickly he said, "And I sent everyone off so I could dance with you. Would I do that if I didn't want to be with you?"

_Cliché, but hopefully it would work…_

It seemed to be, Athena smiled at him through her watery eyes. Yakko could have sworn she was crying. Well, that just showed how great she was then; she was blinking back her tears so she wouldn't make him uncomfortable.

Glancing over her shoulder he saw Bugs standing at a table with Slappy, most of the younger children gathered around them talking and laughing. Yakko sincerely hoped it wasn't about him, but knowing the way they had been lately he honestly couldn't say.

Meeting Bugs' eyes for a moment he lifted his chin a bit when the rabbit shot him a scowl. Tightening his grip around Athena' waist he led her out onto the dance floor.

He told Bugs she was just nervous being around big stars - be nice if the rabbit would believe him instead of just shooting them nasty looks.

XXXXXXXXXX

_They're trying to turn us into sissies – that's why they make us go to these._

Wakko leaned against the wall, looking out at the dance floor where Yakko was currently dancing with Molly while 'Electric Youth' blared over the speakers.

Yakko was holding the girl while she screamed happily and attempted to do something in his arms that Wakko guessed was a dance. Or she could be having a seizure; it looked so odd it was hard to say. Then again when Molly got too hyper it did look like she was being electrocuted so he supposed the song was a good choice.

Stupid Yakko – he really shouldn't have promised all those dances out. Now he'd be doing it the rest of the time they were there. And he wasn't even trying to get out of them; Wakko knew if he had somehow got suckered into it he would have tried to break a leg in order to avoid paying that tab. And Yakko had already danced with Dot to 'Everything I do I do it For You' which had been one of the most nauseating moments of the entire day.

Valentine's Day sucked; he really had to make a mental note to not come to the next function for this holiday.

Wakko looked around the crowd – Dot and Babs were standing off to the side of the dance floor, Babs with her arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently. He smirked at that; Yakko was in for it with her – he had refused to dance to some George Michael song with her. Wakko knew Babs was going to get him back for that though; she had requested the DJ play 'Can you Feel the Love Tonight' next when it was her turn.

Plucky and Max were at the table with the adults still shoving food in their mouths. He couldn't see Buster which was too bad; the rabbit was still fuming at him despite Wakko just about begging him to forgive him. He couldn't help it – whether his best friend was a rabbit toon or not a mummified rabbit head sounded pretty damn cool.

He felt a slight scowl come over his face as he saw Yakko's new girlfriend come over to the table and sit down in between Bugs and Plucky. He didn't like her; the mummy-head was pretty neat but she wasn't. Wakko had absolutely no idea what Yakko saw in her; she was mean. She had come over and talked to him and Plucky a few times before they managed to escape from her. They didn't like her; from where he was standing it didn't seem like many people at the table did either. Bugs and Slappy were both giving her cold looks, Max and Plucky seemed confused as to why she was sitting with them. The only one talking to her was Fifi but Athena didn't seem interested in talking to her.

Wakko was still more mad that she had upset Babs and Elmyra; she had been really rude to them and all they had done was give Yakko cards. While he was happy he didn't have to dance with any of them Wakko was happy that Yakko had said he'd do it; it had really seemed to cheer them up.

He snapped up as Elmyra finally got up from the table. He frowned; Elmyra looked upset again. He hoped that Athena hadn't said anything to her, but since she looked upset and was swiping at her eyes he thought she might have. Besides, Plucky and Max, faces still full of food were talking while Slappy was saying something to the cat and Bugs was shaking his head. Fifi for some reason looked pleased.

Wakko inhaled; OK, he had been waiting for Elmyra to get up and be by herself. The whole day she and Babs had been latched onto each other while they giggled and tried to get every boy over the age of six to dance with them.

He watched her swiftly move toward the doors that led out the main entrance of the ball room and toward the bathrooms. He watched her so long she was almost out the doors before he realized that if he actually wanted to talk to her he better move or she'd be gone.

Biting his lip and casting another glance at the table where everyone was talking he moved toward the doors, threading his way in and out of the kids around them. They weren't paying any attention to him; no one was paying any attention to him. He could do this. It was sort of like a video game; he had one mission to complete and he'd have beaten the level. He could do this right? Hell, he'd seen Yakko do it; it wasn't that hard.

Reaching the doors quicker than he thought he would he felt his hands getting sweaty under his gloves again and slowed. This happened every time he tried to talk to her lately. He paused to wipe his hands on his pants; it wouldn't dampen the gloves any, but just in case. He didn't think she'd be real impressed if he went over to her to make sure she was alright and his hands were all wet.

Shit, she's out the door – and heading towards the girls bathroom – he couldn't go in there. He sighed in relief though; no one else was out in the entranceway. He didn't have to worry about anyone seeing this.

"Elmyra!"

When she didn't stop he called her name again and gave a sigh of relief when she stopped and turned to look at him. He inwardly cringed; she wasn't crying which was good. But she looked on the verge of it though and that was bad.

"Hey Wakko," she sniffed.

Ugh. She was using 'Wakko'. She never used 'Wakko' unless she was really mad at him and other than refusing to dance he couldn't think of anything he had done to make her mad. Maybe she was still grossed out that he wanted to see the head; if it was this upsetting though damn he'd pass on it.

OK. Yakko said you shouldn't make a girl cry – that made you a jerk. You were still a jerk if you didn't at least try to make them stop crying, even if it wasn't your fault that they were crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, taking a few steps toward her. "Plucky try to sing?" She made a noise that sounded like something between a hiccup and a laugh and he grinned. "Did Max start whining about what he's not able to eat and if he accidentally eats something bad how the world would fall apart without his smiling face to guide us through our miserable lives?"

"No," she said hesitantly before giving a long sniff.

Wakko grimaced – that sounded really gross. It was impressive, but gross.

"Do you think I look bad?"

"Huh?"

_How the hell am I supposed to answer that?_

"The pretty-kitty head said I shouldn't wear pink; she said it makes me look sick because my hair is orange," she said, tearing up.

_Ugh. Bitch._

He really had been trying to be nice to Yakko's new girl; he didn't like her before, he really didn't like her now. No, Elmyra probably shouldn't have worn the pink dress; it was ugly. But, to be fair it would look ugly on anyone.

"Um…"

"It's OK if you think I am-"

"No!" Wakko yelled more violently than he intended.

_Calm down._

"Um…I mean no, you don't look ugly," he said in a much calmer voice. "Your dress is really ugly-"

_Darn, wrong thing to say,_ he thought, starting to panic as he watched her tear up again.

He should have just let her go, this was a stupid idea. No wonder Charlie Brown always had problems – he had to go through this every time the 'little red headed girl' was near. Wakko briefly wondered if it was all girls or just the red-headed ones.

_Think stupid._

"OK, I didn't mean that," he said, waving his hand at her. "It's a really nice dress. Uh…I just like green better. You know, because your hair's red and it reminds me of Christmas."

_There, that would work. _

"Really?"

Wakko stood there awkwardly and watched as Elmyra wiped at her eyes again and gave him a smile.

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

He looked at her again; yeah, she definitely shouldn't wear pink. Green was OK, and blue, but not pink. Maybe not red either.

Why was he thinking about this?

"Thanks cuddlehead," she said, stepping closer to him.

"Um. No problem."

Biting his lip again he glanced down to avoid looking into her eyes. She was happy again – Elmyra wasn't frequently unhappy – but now she'd probably want to dance or hold his hand or something. That needed to be avoided.

Reaching into his Hammerspace he concentrated; time to do what he intended to do and get out of there before someone saw them. He took a deep breath as he felt his fingers close around the stem of the rose, slightly cool after being in there for so long. He quickly pulled it out.

"Here," he said, thrusting it at her.

He hadn't seen her lean toward him though and he looked in horror as he almost shoved the flower up her nose and she blinked rapidly at him.

_Oh that's real slick Wakko. Bet she feels loads better now._

"Um. OK – bye!" he said, staring at her for a moment as she blinked and took the flower.

He spun around quickly and almost ran back towards the ballroom; anything to get out of there. He could hear her giggling behind him and he felt like a total idiot. No wonder the others hadn't bought the girls anything; it was too hard to give it to them, and when you did you made a complete ass out of yourself.

Reaching the doors he saw Yakko leaning against the door jam and Wakko felt his face color slightly; he really hoped Yakko hadn't seen that.

"Cute Wakko. Try to remember the next time you give her something, maybe not shove it up her nose. You break it and she probably won't be too charmed."

Damn, he had seen it. Wakko quickly looked behind him but didn't see Elmyra; she must have gone into the bathroom after all. He hoped he hadn't hurt her with the flower.

"Her fault; she leaned in," Wakko muttered. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Spying on you of course," Yakko answered. "You and the goofballs love to do it with me – see how annoying it is? Besides," he sighed. "She's the last one I promised a dance to; I pay that debt and the rest of my evening's free."

"If your girlfriend wasn't so nasty you wouldn't have had to," Wakko said quietly. "She made Elmyra cry."

"Look, Wak, it's not her fault," Yakko said. "She's just…I don't know…she feels a little inferior compared to everyone. Remember how you felt the first time we met Bugs? None of us knew what to say and we were just meeting one person. She's overwhelmed right now and she was trying to be friendly."

"By telling Elmyra she looked ugly?" Wakko asked.

Yakko couldn't be that cruel. Well, he could be; Yakko could tear someone apart with his mouth if he wanted to but he rarely did that. He could usually say something nicely and get his point across.

"She didn't say she looked ugly," Yakko scoffed. In a quiet voice he added, "She told me that she only said pink really isn't her color. Come on Wak she's right. Athena was trying to be helpful-"

"She should have just shut up," Wakko said. "She looks alright." Unsure he added, "I guess."

"Right. Love is blind Wak-"

"I don't love her!"

"Right. Look, go sit with Bugs and the others; I'll wait for Elmyra," Yakko said, putting his hand on Wakko's shoulder. "I'll tell her she's cute and dance with her and she'll be fine."

Wakko rolled his eyes. Chances were if he said 'hi' to Elmyra she'd be happy; knowing her she'd probably already forgotten that Yakko said he'd dance with her. But he shouldn't have had to do it in the first place.

"And be nice to Athena; I think the others are giving her a hard time. I don't want her upset."

"Oh, but it's OK if she upsets my friends," Wakko muttered. "That's fair."

"No, it wasn't right. Come on Wakko, help your big brother out OK? I've had a really rough day."

Sighing, Wakko said, "OK Yakko."

"Thanks – just knew I could count on you," Yakko drawled. "OK, here's Elmyra, I'm going to talk to her. Go in there and be nice."

"Right. Nice."

Giving one more look to his brother as he moved toward Elmyra, talking to her like she was a princess Wakko went back into the ballroom and looked toward the table, where Athena was still sitting with everyone, but no one was talking.

He frowned. Yakko thought he had a rough day? Wakko had a bad feeling that if his older brother insisted on seeing this girl, he was in for plenty more rough days ahead.

_End Chapter 28_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 29 – Rebellion

April 8, 1995

"Let's go Inky."

"Piss off Blue-Boy, I'm coming."

Finished tying up his skates Wakko pushed himself off the large carpet covered cube that served as seats near the rental area and stood next to Buster who was impatiently tapping his foot which was already in his shiny black skates.

Wakko decided he really had to get his own pair; he hated wearing the skates he could rent at the rink. Yes they sufficed but they were a hideous brown color with neon orange wheels and toe stops not to mention they were rentals – anyone could have worn these things.

He had seen them sprayed out when he returned them, but seriously, how much good could that do? It was like a bowling shoe – no matter how much spray they used, just thinking about putting a body part in it was like asking for a disease.

Like most of his friends, he simply wasn't used to wearing shoes; probably a good fifty percent of toons didn't. Sure, some like Mickey did, but he was real old-school and at the time it was almost unheard of for the toons not to wear shoes. But Mickey was more of a conformer and didn't want any trouble or to upset the humans; toons like Bugs were more ground-breaking and were less interested in pleasing their human audiences with such trivial things as shoes.

Like Bugs said, he was there to be funny not to display fashion.

Wakko was happy he asked about that one time. Thankfully Foghorn had been willing to explain it in his booming voice, which ended up bringing over Bugs and Slappy and a whole crew of adults who ended up getting into a huge debate about it in the cafeteria one day.

He was told that not only were the bottoms of most toons' feet usually resilient enough to withstand quite a bit of abuse short of walking on fire, but the size and shape alone just made the thought ridiculous.

Wakko agreed. Sure, he could squish his feet into a pair if he really needed to on the set, but it was usually only for a scene or two and the directors never made any of them walk around in them. It was usually extremely uncomfortable and looked odd.

Now if it was a larger pair of shoes, that was different, like the skates he had rented or Dot's dancing shoes or riding boots. Yes, they were huge but Dot had large feet; they all did. But the shoes she had to wear for her activities needed to be comfortable and something she could wear for hours at a time without having to Chuck herself, and no toon could Chuck that long and who would want to concentrate on doing it nonstop anyway?

Sometimes the humans didn't understand that. Like one time he remembered Babs complaining about it from when she and the other girls filmed 'The Amazing Three', a short from their second season.

While Fifi didn't have too many problems considering her feet were tiny, both Babs and Shirley's feet were huge. She had said it took endless takes, not to mention non-stop Chucking to get their feet in the shoes and it was quite painful, especially with the heels and the fact they had to walk around in them.

She had also said she and Shirley were not able to hold the Chuck long and they ended up bursting out of half the shoes much to their embarrassment, the boys amusement, and the wardrobe people were pissed half the time. Babs said she thought she went through almost thirty pairs of shoes by the time filming of that skit was completed.

All of them had to do it at some point, but it was usually something none of them looked forward to. He himself had actually busted several pairs of shoes while filming 'A Christmas Plotz'.

Max to his credit had said he thought it was one of the most ridiculous things he had ever seen. They were ducks and rabbits and whatever-the-hell Wakko was supposed to be – why the hell would the writers even want to put shoes on them?

It was stupid – he was a human, descended from some of the first human style toons. Being based on actual humans of course he needed to wear them; much like the real humans, not only were his feet unable to withstand the abuse that say Buster's paws would, he would feel like Lil Abner or some damn hick if he wasn't wearing them.

Wakko had to agree with him; Max would look ridiculous without shoes. Any human toon would. A toon like Goofy unfortunately had to wear them; whatever background he had must have included some human toon since his feet were so soft and sensitive.

He chose to be happy about his own; they were serviceable and were always there when he needed them. Plus, shoes were one less thing he needed to worry about-

"For Christ sake Mime will you wake up?"

"Sorry Monty," Wakko said as he accidentlyskated into Max and the other boy gently shoved at him. "Didn't see you there-"

"Don't know how the hell you missed him," Plucky said from beside him while Babs laughed. "He's got a zit on his face the size of an egg-"

Wakko squinted as Plucky was talking and Max kicked at the duck. He totally missed him and almost fell over as a result.

"Damn Monty, you don't do anything small do you?" Wakko asked grinning. "That thing's huge."

"So's my foot," Max snapped, kicking at Wakko.

Unfortunately he didn't miss again and Wakko stumbled into the wall as Max's foot connected with the back of his calf as Plucky and Buster laughed.

"Ow! Chode," Wakko said, pushing himself off the wall. "Be careful Monty, too much movement and that thing might explode."

"Hopefully on you then."

"That's disgusting Max," Babs said, pushing Max out of her way so she could lean on Wakko's shoulder. She peered at Max, further evaluating his face before saying, "He's right though; it is big. Lay off the cake here today and it might go away."

He fidgeted; why did the girls always want to lean on him? He felt like a park bench.

"I had to come to this gathering; I'm eating some damn cake."

"Shut the holes in your faces guys." Buster ordered. "Let's go find the birthday girl, ditch the presents and make nice," Buster ordered.

"We had to bring her shit too?" Max asked as Mary leaned on him. "I thought I could just show up and that would be gift enough."

"Damn it Max," Mary said, slapping him on the top of the head. "If your cheap ass didn't-"

"Cool it Mary, I'm joking," he said, holding his hands up at her balled up fists. "I got her a gift. I always get her a gift."

"Not that it matters," Wakko said, disappointed that he wasn't going to see Mary kick Max's ass - he bet it would have been amusing. Reaching into his Hammerspace and pulling out a box wrapped in shiny pink metallic paper he added, "His presents suck."

"Oh just wait to see what I pick out for you now Mime," Max warned.

"Careful Monty, your birthday's before mine and I've got one hell of a creative brother that can help me pick out something for you."

"I bet," Max retorted as Mary went back to leaning on him and playing with his hair. "Maybe he'll ask his girlfriend and she can get me something decomposing in a jar."

"You wanted to see it too-"

"God, enough with that," Babs snapped. "It's creepy, the whole thing."

"You think that's creepy?" Wakko asked. "Try talking to her on the phone."

"Who cuddle-head?"

Wakko sighed at hearing his nickname and turned to see Elmyra standing behind their group grinning. He was relieved though; Elmyra wasn't wearing pink. She looked much better in the dark blue.

"No one," Wakko said while thrusting the present at her. He definitely didn't want to remind her of Athena; the cat had been awful to her. "Happy Birthday."

"For me?" Elmyra asked. "Oh thank you cuddle-head!"

Wakko saw her lunge at him for a hug and he tried to roll out of her path. He felt Babs give him a push though and he stumbled forward, getting caught in a crushing hug from the redhead and he sighed, hearing the others laugh.

That was OK – she liked hugging him, but he could turn the tables on them too.

"Welcome 'Myra," he grunted. "How about you Plucky – I know you got her a great gift."

Seeing Elmyra's eyes light up and her turning to look at the duck who was now glaring at him, Wakko chuckled to himself. She'd let him go soon.

Instead she surprised him by continuing to hold on to him with her right arm while reaching out to snag Plucky before he could even move and grabbed him in a bone-crushing hug with her left.

"Oh thank you ducky!" Elmyra said, tightening her arms around both their necks.

"Yeah, sure," Plucky gasped while trying to push her arm from around his neck. "You crush my windpipe and I'm taking your present back."

"Oh I'm so happy you guys came!" Elmyra gushed. "All my cuddly-wuddly friends together in one place!"

"I hate you so much right now Wakko," Plucky muttered.

"Yeah, me too Pluck," Wakko gasped whiled trying to retain his balance as much as possible on the skates. "I love getting strangled. How about Monty and Buster?" Wakko asked, seeing his friends laughing. "Bet they'd like hugs too."

He sighed in relief when Elmyra finally loosened her grip on his neck and he rubbed his throat gratefully. Elmyra squeezed between him and Plucky, almost sending both of them falling so she could reach Buster and Max, who both had worried looks on their faces.

"Oh hell no!" Max gruffly said. "Here!"

He quickly pulled a box out of his Hammerspace and almost threw it at the girl while Mary rolled backwards out of his way. Buster pulled his arm back and was getting ready to toss one at Elmyra as well but Babs ripped it out of his hands.

"Honestly Buster, can't you try to be nice one day?"

"I am being nice!" He hissed. "I showed up!"

"You're here all the time anyway so just shut up," she said. "Come on 'Myra, let's put them with the other gifts. Then we can skate with these morons," she added over her shoulder as she led Elmyra away.

"Can hardly wait," Plucky muttered.

"Let's get out on the floor," Buster said. "We can try to out skate them."

"Good idea," Wakko agreed. "It's hard to skate with Elmyra hanging on you."

It was too; every time he tried she would cling to him, which wasn't necessarily bad all the time, but when she did sometimes their feet got tangled up and they'd go crashing to the polished wooden floor. Then he would use his body to try to catch her and he usually was the one that ended up getting hurt. He'd like to avoid that if he could.

"Uh, I'll be out there in a second," Max said, looking at Mary who giggled. "Gotta do something."

"I fucking bet," Plucky muttered. Turning to Wakko and Buster he said, "Let's go, he'll have his head up her ass the rest of the day."

Wakko blinked, looking at Max again. The boy had turned his back on them and was telling Mary he liked her shirt. Wakko looked at him in astonishment before skating after Plucky, tapping Buster's shoulder as he did so. The rabbit looked almost as surprised as he did.

Everyone knew Max and Mary got along well though no one was able to truly figure out why. Max was one of the richest brats in Toontown and Mary was from Natwick, one of the poor sections. Plucky usually referred to her as 'ghetto trash' whenever she wasn't around. He used to do it when Max was around, but after he had yelled at him a few times he had stopped using that particular nickname. Again, only when he was around though.

Wakko liked the girl well enough – he wasn't as close to her as he was Elmyra or Babs, but she seemed OK. She was really good at sports; hell, she could out bat Babs and she was one of the strongest hitters Wakko had ever seen. But they were on the lot more often and always at the functions. Of course the studio insisted most of its leads at least make an appearance at the functions for publicity – Mary wasn't a lead – she was barely around half the time.

He knew that she lived with her mother and a few younger siblings and that her family was so poor that they couldn't even afford the tutoring on the lot for her; Granny had actually taken pity on the girl and was tutoring her for a very reduced rate. Plucky called it charity; Max called it 'say one more word and I'll put my foot up your ass'. Wakko chose to call it nothing – however she got her tutoring wasn't any of his business.

Wakko watched the fuming Plucky skate out on the floor and hurried to catch up with him, skating past Buster. He wondered why the duck was so hateful of the girl; as far as he knew she had never done anything to him. Hell, out of the four of them Plucky was the one that knew everyone on and off the lot, a fact that amazed Wakko just for the simple fact that the duck could be a judgmental snob. Even Max wasn't that bad. And usually Plucky got along with everyone, albeit a bit sarcastically.

"Plucky! Come on wait up!"

"Well hurry up Inksplot!" He snapped. "Or you wanna talk to Mary too?"

_What the hell?_

"Dude, what's your problem?" Wakko panted, finally catching up with him and grabbing his arm.

He felt a few other skaters bumping past him and started pushing Plucky toward the side of the rink so they were out of traffic. Wakko knew if they didn't, he was going to end up on the floor again and wouldn't even be able to blame Elmyra for it so he'd look like a total clod.

Stepping out of the rink before they got used as speedbumps, Wakko gently shoved Plucky against the wall.

"My problem?" Plucky asked. "My problem is that my supposed best friend over there is so busy talking to Mary now that he's ignoring me-"

"He just tried to kick the shit out of you," Wakko reasoned, leaning on the wall next to him while waving Buster over. "I wouldn't call that ignoring."

"Not that," Plucky said, crossing his arms and slumping on the wall further. "That's the usual stuff. I mean this entire week; hell, even longer now that I think about it! We were supposed to do something Tuesday, but he blows me off because he was having Jeeves take him to see Mary somewhere. When we talk on the phone – he's always talking about her. Christ, I don't even like her!"

"You jealous Duck?" Buster asked, coming over to lean on the wall next to him.

"No I'm not jealous!" Plucky paused for a moment before saying, "I mean if he wants a girl, yeah, I'd give him shit over it," Plucky said. "But why that one? She's dirt poor, unfriendly, no class, not pretty, untalented – you know she doesn't even have 'Schlesinger Syndrome'?"

"Really?" Wakko breathed. "I thought Warner Brothers required it!"

It wasn't exactly a scandal, but it was interesting.

"Nah, get real," Buster said. "Warner Brothers likes it of course because they're known for having all the talented toons but it's not required, especially for bit players. Hell, most of our background people don't have it. I know the guys playing Katie-KaBoom's family on your show don't have it. Neither does that witch Flameil."

"I thought you knew this," Plucky groused. "Hell Max told me ages ago."

"Yeah yeah, you're in the know," Wakko said. "I didn't now about the 'Schlesinger Syndrome' though."

"Jesus Inksplot, don't you pay attention in Foghorn's classes?" Plucky said.

"If I don't have to…no," Wakko grinned. "Ever wonder why his favorite phrase to use around me is 'now pay attention boy when I'm talking to you?"

Buster started laughing and Plucky shot both of them a glare.

"Shouldn't be surprised," Plucky muttered. "I try to listen to everything Daffy says-"

"In between dodging spittle," Buster laughed.

"Screw you rabbit. Fine, I'll educate you. 'Schlesinger Syndrome' gets passed on through the males in a family line." Plucky began. "If your father-"

"Oh damn it Plucky a lecture?" Buster asked, giving him an annoyed look. "The invitation to this party promised fun and you know what? After being here twenty minutes I'm just not that optimistic any more."

"Shut up rabbit. Anyway, she isn't talented so Mary's father obviously didn't have it," he said. "Course, I'd be amazed if Mary even knew who her father was."

Wow. Plucky could get ugly sometimes, but that was below the belt, even for him.

"Low blow Plucky," Wakko said. "Let Max hear you talking like that and he'll get pissed."

"Right; I'm not seeing a big deal here," Plucky said, shrugging his shoulders but unable to hide the hurt look on his face. "Since he's barely talking to me as it is."

"Look, Plucky," Wakko said, hesitating for a moment before putting his arm around his friend's shoulder.

Normally hugging was out for them – they had the girls for that mushy crap. This was different though; this was just a shoulder drape. Not the least bit silly. And Plucky didn't look upset about it.

"I don't know what Max's problem is. He's been acting weird but I just thought it was the zit," Wakko said, ignoring Buster's laughter. "But shit, Max is your best friend, we all know that. I mean why I don't know because you're sort of an ass-"

"Thanks Wakko you moron," Plucky said.

"But seriously, I don't think he's trying to be a jerk."

"He's right," Buster said before muttering, "I can't believe I'm saying that."

"Thanks Buster. Ass," Wakko scowled at him.

"Anyway, really, I don't think Max is abandoning you and hey, if he is? Screw him right? We're here for you," Buster said, throwing his arm around Plucky's other shoulder while smacking Wakko in the back of the head. "And in the meantime we can go annoy the hell out of him – you always enjoy that."

"True," Plucky said. "Pissing Max off is the bright spot of my day." Looking at them for a second he finally muttered, "Thanks."

"Wakko, we have an upset friend that needs cheering up," Buster directed. "Suggestions?"

"Go mallet him?"

"Been there, done that," Plucky said. "Bombs?"

"Mine suck," Wakko admitted. "Pie him?"

"Rules against pieing in the rink," Buster said.

"And when have we ever let such trivial things as rules get in our way?" Wakko asked.

"True," Buster agreed. "Fine, let's go see about rescuing Max from the clutches of his lady love. If not, well, he was upset we didn't include him in our last pieing adventure. We can make him the star now and-"

"Oh damn it," Wakko mumbled, ignoring the rabbit's talking.

Looking across the rink he had spotted an old dear friend; a few actually. Gosalyn was sitting on the large carpeted cube, dangling her feet already wearing skates and talking to Rhuebella who was wearing clothing that Yakko would probably like, but none of the adults would. Wakko noticed the adults got funny about that stuff.

Standing up and glaring back at him was Tank. Beside him, leaning on a shiny black marble pillar was Dizzy, also smirking at him.

Plucky had grudgingly introduced Dizzy to him awhile back; Wakko hadn't liked the boy. He seemed like a jerk then, and if he was hanging out with Tank and the others it was pretty much confirmed; Dizzy was an ass.

"What Wak?" Plucky asked. "Getting cold feet? Afraid Max will mallet you if you get pie on his hundred dollar shirt?"

"I could out fight that clod in my sleep," Wakko scoffed. Pointing he said, "See some old friends?"

"What the hell?" Buster said as he looked up. "Damn, can't get away from them for an instant. I didn't even know they made skates that big."

"I didn't realize it was special-ed day at the rink," Plucky countered.

Smirking, Tank and Dizzy both made a few obscene gestures. Sharing looks, Wakko, Buster and Plucky all raised a finger at them.

"Think it's a challenge?" Plucky asked. "I'm in the mood for a fight."

"No," Buster said firmly. "We fight we might get banned, and I actually like this place even if the food taste like something Wakko's future sister-in-law would cook with unwanted mummy parts."

"Bite me Buster," Wakko snapped.

"We defend but we aren't starting anything with them," Buster continued. "We just watch each other's backs. Besides I see PJ coming too so we're outnumbered."

"Whatever Patton," Plucky said. "The three of us could take them."

"Not saying we can't," Buster said. "But look over there."

Wakko looked to where Buster was pointing; the concession stand where most of the adults were sitting and talking. Buster's father was there speaking to Jeeves who wasn't in his usual formal black attire and was almost looking normal, if normal attire for a causal event was a blue blazer and grey slacks. Elmyra's parents, Fudd, and Daffy were all speaking, and that was on top of the usual mob of kids that was always at the rink and their parents. Wakko knew that Elmyra had invited his siblings and Bugs, but while they weren't there now, they would be later. They had to go somewhere to sign something for Dot to be a model or something.

As soon as he heard the words 'work', 'model', and 'pretty clothes' he had almost instantly gone into a stupor while she rambled on at him about it. He was happy Dot was so excited about it but it was boring, and who wanted more work? Even filming the ad for the skating rink had been more work than any of the four of them had thought. He had actually cringed when he heard that they had gotten some more offers; Ms. Cunningham was currently trying to talk them into doing an ad for a skate park.

Come to think of it; that might not be bad.

"You see all those adults and parents? Especially mine?" Buster said. "He'd wring my neck if we start something in here."

"And it's 'Myra's party," Wakko added quietly. "We don't want to upset that."

"Right," Buster said, giving him a funny look. "We start nothing. Now, if they do something we can certainly defend ourselves. I doubt Dad will say anything about that, and even if he did, I'm not going to let them use me as a punching bag and go crying to the adults for help – what's the sense in having a mallet then?"

"Fine," Plucky sighed. "We'll wait for now you goody-two-feet."

As they continued to look at the group, Dizzy and Tank exchanged glances between themselves, turned to say something to the others before pointing at Plucky and grabbing themselves.

Wakko and Buster both quickly grabbed Plucky's arms as he pushed himself off the wall, muttering under his breath. Wakko never realized that Plucky was so strong. Than again, maybe it was the fact they were on skates; even digging his toe stop in the carpet he was staggering around trying to hold him back.

"Calm down Plucky," Wakko hissed. "We can get them later."

"Not unless they do something – and I mean attack," Buster said. "They can grab their non-existent crotches till the rink closes, but unless they actually try to hit us we don't make a move."

"You're such a wet blanket bunny," Plucky muttered. At Buster's look he added, "All right fine, I'll wait. The way they're acting I probably won't have to wait long anyway."

"Come on," Buster said. "The girls are coming out onto the rink. Let's get out there; maybe we can get lost in the crowd for a few minutes."

Nodding Wakko let go of Plucky's arm with a warning look, but he didn't seem inclined to lunge across the rink at the laughing group. Waiting until several other kids passed, Wakko stepped out onto the rink. Building up speed he felt Plucky come up beside him and turned to glance at the duck. He still looked upset, but he looked slightly happier than before. Maybe the promise of taking his aggression out on someone besides his friends was cheering him up.

Wakko cast a look to his left, watching Mary and Max. Mary was leaning on the railing surrounding a much smaller rink where the younger children could practice before coming out into the bigger rink. He saw her toss her head back and laugh at something Max said and Wakko frowned to himself.

Max had been acting weird lately. He had been talking about Mary more, a few of the other girls too. Certainly not like Yakko but no one talked about girls like him.

Yakko had said at some point they would start to look at the girls differently. Wakko supposed he was right, it seemed to be some unfortunate side effect of growing older but he wasn't exactly looking forward to that day. Who would? Totally ditch your closest friends to pal around with a girl?

If Max was indeed looking at Mary as something more than some girl to hang around with, it was pretty crappy what he was doing, ignoring his best friends, especially the mallard. Plucky rarely was offended at something Max said or did. Thinking on it, Wakko couldn't remember either of them being offended at anything the other one did. Max was supposed to be Plucky's closest friend; shouldn't he realize he was pissed off? Hell, no wonder Plucky was in the mood to brain someone.

Wakko was worried about that; would the same thing happen to him and Buster? The thought of growing apart from his friend was unsettling. Than again Yakko and Kit seemed to get along well enough and all they talked about half the time was girls.

He sighed to himself as he mulled around these thoughts in his head as Buster came up on the other side of Plucky. The rabbit exchanged a glance with him before he flashed a couple of signs and Wakko nodded his understanding. Keep an eye on Plucky and try to make sure he didn't do something even stupider than usual.

As they came around the loop closest to the kid rink, Max glanced at them, waved then turned back toward Mary, leaning on the rail to talk to her. Wakko shook his head; what was wrong with him? Hell, if Max wanted to hang with Mary he didn't have a problem with it, but he should at least come out on the floor. They were there for Elmyra's party, not to watch those two make cow eyes at each other.

With Elmyra coming in his head Wakko turned to look for her; she and the others had been coming out on the floor. He didn't exactly want to hold her hand but he did want to talk with her. It was her birthday.

Spotting her, Babs, and Shirley skating on the other side of the rink, Wakko smacked Plucky's shoulder. Looking from Buster to him the duck glared.

"What Inksplot?"

"Let's go say hi," he said. "It is Elmyra's birthday."

Actually it wasn't; Elmyra's birthday wasn't until the eleventh, but close enough. No one ever had parties during the week.

"Oh damn, you too?" Plucky muttered. "Mary this, Elmyra that-"

"I didn't say I'd rather hang out with them did I? I said let's go say hi."

Wakko shot him a glare before speeding up, leaving Buster to deal with Plucky. If he was going to be that cranky Wakko really didn't want to talk with him. He didn't talk about Elmyra that much he didn't think.

Spotting her ahead of him he frowned; Tank and Dizzy were coming up on the three girls quick, PJ slightly behind them with Rhuebella and Gosalyn. He shook his head; what a messed up group of toons.

Speeding up to try to catch them Wakko saw Dizzy split off from Tank, twirling around in his fashion to come up beside Babs. Tank came up on Shirley's side. After a moment of talking the boys both stuck their feet out, tripping Babs and Shirley and sending them sprawling onto the floor. Elmyra, in the middle of the other two, stumbled and rolled a few feet but somehow managed to keep her balance.

She stopped and turned, going back to the other two and crouched down as Wakko sped up to help and he heard Plucky and Buster swearing behind them. At least they had seen too.

"Wakko wait up!"

Angered at what the other boys had just done Wakko slowed just enough for Buster and Plucky to catch him. He heard Buster say something about hoping Babs slapped her rotten pointed teeth out and Wakko looked up seeing Rhuebella, laughing with Gosalyn, come up on the group, pause and say a few words before skating off, the rat girl stepping on Elmyra's fingers as she did so.

"Oh what the hell's that about?" Wakko muttered angrily.

What the hell should he do? Check on Elmyra and the others? Chase down Tank and beat him senseless with his mallet? Slap Rhuebella?

No, can't do that. But Babs might; she was crawling off of Shirley with a murderous look, but she was checking on Elmyra, who was sitting in the middle of the rink cradling her left hand in her right. Chances were that Babs wasn't going to stay down long; even Shirley looked sort of pissed off with the whole situation as she stood and waved her arms at oncoming skaters like a flagman on a runway.

Damn it. Dilemmas.

"Fuck this," Plucky said, pushing past Wakko. "And fuck Max – he didn't even turn around! I'm not pieing him, I'm going after fatty."

With that the duck took off and Wakko sped up to follow him; Plucky was in a mood. He was able of taking care of himself in a fair fight, but he was pissy and Buster was right – Plucky was outnumbered. Already a few other kids were skating with Tank and Dizzy, patting them on the back or high fiving him.

Jerks. Yeah, height of cool – knocking down some girls on skates.

Damn it, and he was known for being the rash one. Plucky was doing a fine job of demonstrating that particular personality trait though.

Rash or not, Wakko had every intention of helping the duck out, quickly. The mood Plucky was in he'd stomp Dizzy and Tank before he even got over there, and his fingers were itching to grab his mallet and get in a few good hits before the fight was no doubt broken up by the adults.

Skating past where Babs was helping a white-faced Elmyra off the floor, Wakko asked, "She OK?"

"Not sure," Babs yelled. "I look like a damn nurse or something bleach-face?"

"Hey, I'm on your side!" Wakko snapped back at her. When she glared at him he added, "Look, get her off the rink," he directed. "I'm going after Plucky."

"No cuddle-head-"

Wakko ignored Elmyra and skated after Buster, who put two fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle. When Max turned, Buster hollered at him to get his ass out there.

Max gave him an annoyed look until he saw Plucky already yelling at Tank and Dizzy while PJ lumbered behind, all three of them with their mallets out. Gosalyn and Rhuebella were in front of the boys, skating backwards while they all laughed at something.

Eyes wide, Max jumped over the rail, landing with the grace of a cat despite the skates and dashed out onto the rink, leaving a startled looking Mary. After a moment she saw the three other girls stepping out of the rink and she quickly skated over to them.

Passing them Wakko saw Elmyra, who had the same pallor of uncooked bread dough cradling her hand and he narrowed his eyes at Rhuebella, who had the audacity to smile at him.

Yakko always said the lowest form of life was anyone that would kick someone when they're down. And while Elmyra hadn't been knocked down, she had been down helping Babs and Shirley, and what the hell had she ever done to Rhuebella? Elmyra was usually pretty friendly to everyone; Max frequently said the girl 'shat rainbows' because she was so happy. It would take several mallet shots to her head before she would even begin to show a dent in her extreme perkiness.

Babs – he could understand it even if he didn't like it. Babs and Rhuebella fought frequently when they ran into each other; it wasn't surprising that the rat would think it was funny. Shirley and Rhuebella seemed to have some uneasy truce in which they pretty much ignored each other.

He saw Plucky finally grab his own mallet as Tank took a swing at him and Wakko sped up. He reached behind him, feeling his Hammerspace give way and after a moment the solid handle of his own mallet flying into his hand and he pulled it out. He bumped and pushed into other kids, some of whom had begun to pay attention to the argument that had broken out. Plucky was swinging it at Tank while the much larger boy was swinging his own mallet, a gigantic hickory piece that was half as long as Plucky.

Unfortunately Plucky was so focused on fighting with Tank he didn't see Dizzy and PJ skating past him then stopping, coming around to attack him from behind. Even Gosalyn and Rhuebella seemed to want to get in on the action; they were standing on the left of Plucky, their own mallets out and with malicious grins on their faces as they eagerly watched.

_Damn it Plucky it was a trap; the __villains on Scooby-Doo aren't this obvious…_

Furrowing his eyebrows, Wakko sped up. Plucky should have waited but he'd be damned if he was going to watch his friend get his ass kicked, especially in this uneven a fight. Plucky did know what he was doing, but outnumbered by that much; hell, even Batman would have problems with those odds.

And while he wasn't going to watch Plucky get his ass kicked by them he would however kick it for him later. Stupid duck.

He relaxed slightly seeing Buster come up behind Dizzy, pushing the devil hard enough that he lost his balance and went stumbling to his knees, yelling and earning him a few laughs from kids who had stopped in the middle of the rink to watch.

Wakko was almost at the party when he looked up, his eyes meeting PJ's. The other boy gave him a rude look before he began to tap the end of his mallet in his hand before smirking. Wakko knew a challenge when he saw one – they wanted to fight? Push the girls down? Lure his less than genius friend into an obvious trap?

He almost stumbled and lost his grip on his mallet when someone slapped him on the back of the head. He swung backwards with his mallet and hit empty air as he reached for his hat that had flown off his head. He wasn't too upset he missed; it was Max.

"Don't use your mallet stupid! You wanna get charged with gross toon misconduct?"

_Whoops; didn't think about that. _

Assaulting a toon in a public place with your mallet would get you a gross toon misconduct charge; actually, so could lots of things, but mallet wielding in a public place that was not sanctioned was usually about seventy-five percent of the charges. Not all toons could Chuck themselves, and some of the nastier toons wouldn't Chuck their mallet. Plucky the damn idiot was going to get himself locked up.

"Fritz a pie and come on before Plucky gets his ass beat," Max said. He added in a mutter, "Swear I can't leave you idiots alone for a minute."

"So nice of you to join us Monty," Wakko drawled as he looked at his friend, reaching out to grab on to his shirt to drag him toward the fray. Max was a pretty decent skater, but he ended up on his ass quite frequently too. As a result he tended to skate slower than the others. "So sorry to interrupt your face making time-"

"Shut up Mime I was just talking to her. What happened?" Gesturing toward Plucky he asked, "When the hell did I become the sane one?"

As they neared the group Wakko quickly filled him in, annoyed that he had to. Max was there with them. If he hadn't been busy chatting up Mary he might have been able to keep Plucky calm, or at least come up with a better plan than single-handedly attacking three of the largest boys currently on the rink's floor.

"Fucking idiot," Max muttered as he reached behind him and pulled out a pie. "He wants to get his ass handed to him all he had to do was say so; I would have willingly done it."

Snickering, Wakko directed his gaze back toward the growing group on the floor, amazed that no one had jumped in to stop the ruckus; not only were the adults in the concession stand, but the rink had security and the DJ was in a booth high above the rink where he played the music and announced games or contests or when it was couples only skate and all that stupid stuff. He had a feeling though that it had only been going on a few seconds, though with seeing one friend hurt, a few others knocked down, and one about to get flattened it had felt like an eternity.

A few more kids had stopped close to PJ and Rhuebella and were talking to them as they watched the squabble. Buster swung his leg out and sent Tank crashing to the ground and his mallet flying into the crowd in the rink, which had grown considerably bigger in the last few seconds.

Buster laughed for a second, then almost fell over howling when Tails skated past, his twin tails propelling him around the rink at a high rate of speed. When he got close to Tank he tossed a pie in his face while yelling something and continuing around the rink, seemingly unable to stop as his feet began to flail and he ended up shooting out of the rink and into the arcade room. An audible crash told Wakko that the fox had probably careened into one of the many machines there.

The next thing he knew Buster was on the floor, sent there when Gosalyn threw a pie at him with enough force it knocked him off balance.

Wakko, annoyed, threw his own pie, catching her in the face and sending her sprawling on her butt while Max laughed and threw one at Dizzy. He had been crawling to his feet, but with him being on skates – not to mention the force Max could throw a pie – the devil was sent rolling into the crowd where he knocked down an older girl Wakko didn't recognize.

The boy with her picked Dizzy up by his neck and tossed him off her, helped her stand, then pulled out a pie of his own and threw it. The pie caught Plucky in the side of the head and he went to the floor which Wakko thought was a good thing; PJ had been swinging a fist at him. Buster threw a pie at Gosalyn who had hopped back to her feet but she spun and the pie missed her, hitting a boy that was skating past and sending him falling. He came up and threw a pie at her, catching her in the stomach.

Wakko felt a pie splat in his own face and all he could see was red before he staggered to his knees, wincing as they smacked the hard floor. Damn it now he would probably have bruises there.

Angered he slopped the filling out of his eyes while wondering whose ass he would have to kick. And they would get it kicked extra hard too – it was a strawberry pie. Yes, it would disappear soon but damn it until it did he would be sticky and have clumps of strawberry on him and Elmyra always smelled like strawberries because of her shampoo.

And it always smelled great on her but he really didn't want to smell like a girl-

"Get the hell up Mime and help!"

"I am!" Wakko grunted, feeling Max grab his arm and haul him to his feet. Trying to see through the pie filling that was running down his face and beginning to settle inside his jacket collar he asked, "Who threw it?"

"The skanky rat. Come on."

With that Max let go of his arm and raced off toward the group, which Wakko could see a few green feathers being thrown out of, meaning Plucky probably wasn't doing that well. Wakko looked at it in surprise; there must be twenty kids throwing pies at this point. Max pulled a pie out and threw it at Huey or Louie or whichever one wore green a lot. Then, with a yell of rage he dove into the teaming mass of boys that was Plucky, Tank and PJ, swinging his own fists while calling for the duck.

"Food Fight!"

Wakko turned at the yell, and felt another pie hit him in the chest with enough force behind it he slipped and rolled a few feet back, bumping into someone behind him. When he looked up he saw GoGo pointing and laughing at him. Wakko pulled out another one of his own pies, threw it at the other boy and snorted to himself when it caught him in the stupid umbrella thing sprouting out of his head and flipped him backwards to the floor.

"Attention on the floor! Cease and desist these shenanigans-"

Wakko heard the DJ stop the music and try to order everyone to stop fighting. Wakko thought it was a blessing; he hated the song 'Whoomp! There It Is' anyway.

Looking up Wakko saw a lion toon lunging at Buster's turned back and he jumped, shoving his friend down and accidentally landing on top of him, the rabbit's head hitting him in the nose. He flinched at the sharp pain that ran through his nose as they crashed to the floor. The other boy landed and turned, then got caught and knocked on his back by a chocolate pie, thrown by Babs.

"Babs get out of here!" Buster yelled while he staggered to his feet, grabbing Wakko's hand as he did so and dragging him up.

"I'm not missing this!" Babs called back happily, throwing another pie then leaping out of the way as Gosalyn threw one at her. Shaking a glob of chocolate filling off the gloves she had on she turned before falling flat on her ass when Dizzy hit her with what looked like a chicken pot pie. Then Buster threw one at him and the boy disappeared in a cloud of blue and brown.

Buster grabbed Babs and dragged her over to him and Wakko stood with his back against Buster, sandwiching the girl between them. If she was going to insist on being out there at least she'd be somewhat protected. It wasn't all bad she was out there; Babs could throw with pretty good accuracy, though her skill lay in actually creating the things. Each pie looked like it had been hand made. Wakko looked down at his own; it was pretty damn serviceable but very basic. Babs' pies were fancier looking than the kind you could buy at a bakery. He shrugged; he wasn't wasting effort on making them look nice, not when he was going to mash them in someone's face.

Wakko threw another pie, then a few more, trying to ignore the sticky filling from a variety of flavors dripping down his face and beginning to congeal in his pants and shirt. When he glanced over he could see that Max and Plucky seemed to be holding their own, now that the sides were even, though everyone was covered in so much pie it looked like a bakery exploded. While Max was no doubt going to have a black eye courtesy of Tank's fist, the fat duck looked like he might have some beak damage up near his nostrils which really cheered Wakko up. Not to mention his cheek was swelling out to the size of a large orange so Max must really know how to use his fists when need be.

Plucky looked a bit ruffled but appeared to be fine, still swinging at PJ while Max yelled at him. Wakko frowned; PJ was a lot bigger than Plucky. But Plucky was much faster. He briefly thought about jumping in but that would leave Buster and Babs by themselves and they were outnumbered, though it appeared that a lot of the kids on the floor were on their side too. If there were sides; he had a feeling a lot of these kids just jumped in for the hell of it.

Still though, couldn't let Plucky get killed; he wouldn't be able to kick the snot out of him later if he was dead.

Wakko quickly made another pie and threw it at PJ, catching him in the face and sending him backwards with a loud yell and a sickening thud. Plucky threw a look of gratitude over his shoulder before bellowing out what sounded like 'cowabunga' and jumping on the boy.

Damn nut.

Wakko turned back, getting ready to aim at a human toon when he felt a push from behind and he went down, smacking his already banged up knees again. Looking up he felt another pie get mashed with considerable force in his face and he went flat on the floor.

Using his jacket sleeve to wipe pecan filling out of his eyes and trying to get some of the ground up nuts out of his fur he looked up and grimaced in pain when he felt a sharp kick in his stomach. He totally agreed with Yakko's assessment that anyone that kicked someone when they were down just sucked.

"Arrrrr Dizzy get Doggy!"

"Yeah. Woof you asshole," Wakko muttered before he launched himself at the boy, feeling the wheels of his skates slipping more than usual with the good two feet of pie crust and filling on the floor. Trying to compensate for that he swung his own fist, catching Dizzy in the nose as he felt another pie graze his arm.

Wakko was able to look up for a brief moment to see the adults and security, some coming out of the concession stand and trying to make their way across the slippery floor, others staying behind and pointing. He couldn't see Elmyra, but he saw Mary and Shirley there. Daffy and Fudd were both out on the rink floor already, Daffy gingerly making his way to them being followed closely by Mr. Bunny. Fudd slipped and went tumbling to the floor, tripping two security officers in the process as the rest tried to follow Daffy and another rotund man.

Wakko lost sight of the concession stand as he caught Dizzy's elbow in his nose. He kicked Dizzy in the stomach before seeing a blue and white blur smash into the devil's face. He presumed Buster was getting in on the really physical stuff at this point. Wakko staggered up, Fritzed another pie and jumped on Dizzy as he was climbing to his feet. He smashed the pie in the devil's face with a satisfying 'splat' sound and watched the devil fall back to the floor.

Despite having his ears half-clogged with filling and crust, Wakko could still hear people screaming, laughing, throwing insults, along with new voices telling everyone to stop immediately or they would be banned and arrested and placed in irons and a million other threats. Another familiar voice was saying something about miscreants and evil doers.

He reached back to pull another pie but was stopped when someone smashed a Banana-Crème in his face before grabbing his arm. Someone taller too; he felt his arm being yanked up.

Wiping his eyes he looked and saw Darkwing Duck. Or Darkwing Duck out of costume. Drake…right? He couldn't remember; hell, he didn't care anyway.

Shit. He was going to be banned from one of his favorite hangouts and this tool was the one that had to bust him. Faboo. All around him though the fight was ending; Daffy was holding Plucky, using his arms to keep the green mallard pinned to his chest. Plucky's arms were pinned to his side but it wasn't preventing him from struggling to get free. Jeeves had both hands on Max's shoulders to prevent him from attacking again.

Meanwhile Baloo was holding a struggling Dizzy with one massive arm. The devil was trying to spin while being restrained; mostly all he was doing was smearing pie and purple fur all over Baloo's clothing. Mr. Pete had his beefy arms wrapped around his blubbering son. Wakko sneered at him. He didn't care if someone came up and beat his ass right now; no way was he crying in front of all these people.

Tank was being restrained with Baloo's other arm by his collar while he continued to glower at Plucky.

Some of the kids were being hauled off by parents; others were picking themselves off the floor and stumbling through the filling trying to get out of the rink while wiping the mess off them. Others were standing around watching. Wakko sighed; even when they weren't trying to attract attention, they usually did.

"I'll take him," Mr. Bunny said, grabbing Wakko's arm and giving him a hard look before pulling him towards him. "He's mine."

"He's going to jail, along with that one," Darkwing said, pointing to Buster. "And a few more, definitely that one," he added, pointing to Max who grinned and made an obscene gesture until Jeeves shook him.

Wakko watched as Gosalyn ran to her father and threw her arms around his waist. She looked up at him, batted her eyes before giving a highly edited account of what happened. According to her, she and her friends were just innocently skating along, minding their own business when the four boys came up and started fighting with them.

Wakko went to say something but felt Mr. Bunny put his hand over his mouth. He debated biting it just so he could yell about what a liar she was but figured Buster's father might not like that. He didn't look real pleased at the moment, but the guy was standing up to his ankles in pie slop. Wakko knew he himself wasn't real pleased about it; he was shorter meaning the mess was coming a lot higher on him. For the first time in his life he thought he would probably battle Yakko and Dot to be the first in the shower.

Buster gave Darkwing the finger but quickly put his hands down at his father's rough shake. He settled for making faces at the duck instead.

"Love to see you try that over a couple boys having a food fight," he replied, pulling Wakko closer to him.

"There were fists involved, therefore it's assault," Darkwing argued before puffing his chest out and giving his now grinning daughter a quick hug. "With all the power entrusted in me by ToonTown-"

"I do not believe anyone has to hit the moral panic button," Jeeves said in his haughty British accent. Seeing everyone turn to look at him he added, "A group of children having a pie fight is hardly on the map as far as crime goes."

"They assaulted small children with mallets and threw punches!"

"Small?" Max snorted. "Did you see the whale I was fighting?"

"Master Montana please!" Jeeves hissed, giving the boy a shake.

"What?" Max shrugged while giving his butler a look. "He's trying to arrest me and I'm probably gonna get screwed out of my piece of cake."

Wakko just put his hands over his face and shook his head. Trust Monty to make a joke when they were all going to be on the front page as assaulters of small children and girls.

Speaking of girls, where the hell was Babs?

While the adults argued – or rather while Darkwing argued and Jeeves and Mr. Bunny tried to reason with him, even Baloo getting involved all while everyone told Buster and Max to be quite, Wakko looked around. A stray glance toward the exit showed a pie covered Babs talking to Bugs, looking very dramatic as she gestured wildly. Bugs was nodding while trying to avoid the globs of pie filling and crust that were flying off Babs as she rather dramatically demonstrated the entire episode. When she appeared to be done she mimed throwing a pie, sending a large splatter of green filling on Bugs who calmly flicked it off his chest. Then in a striking theatrical display she threw her arm over her forehead before slumping to the floor while the tall rabbit shook his head.

Oh no, when'd he get there? And Yakko and Dot were with him – were they-

Yes, yes they were here, looking at him from the side of the rink. Or Dot was, waving while she grinned from ear to ear as Elmyra watched on, her hand wrapped in a bandage as she talked and clutched Yakko's shirt. But at least she was smiling so Wakko assumed her hand wasn't broken. Beside her Shirley and Mary were also moving their mouths a mile a minute.

Well, now he was going to get banned from the rink, get arrested, and probably be grounded too. What a day. Wakko really hoped the roof caved in on him; Yakko was rubbing the bridge of his nose and just looking at him. But he didn't look real pissed off; he would glance down at Elmyra and the other girls as they spoke before looking at all of them again, shake his head, then run his hand through his hair.

That was usually a sign of Yakko's mood known as 'I-know-I-should-be-mad-but-I'm-not-really'. Wakko took heart; maybe he wouldn't be too upset. They were protecting the girls. Well, not really, but it was revenge…on second thought, maybe he would be mad. It was hard to say with Yakko, especially lately.

"Your deduction of this current who-done-it is about as accurate as a drunken dart player," Mr. Bunny snapped at Darkwing. "Now I'm taking these two," he said, giving both Buster and Wakko a shake. "Since they're my responsibility; maybe you should handle the one that's yours before you try questioning my parenting skills."

Wakko raised his eyebrows; Mr. Bunny was almost as laid back as his son. He rarely got what anyone could call truly angry no matter how much trouble they caused and right now he sounded like he was at the end of his patience. Than again he would need an unlimited amount of patience to deal with the constant cluster of children at his house.

"I am questioning it," Darkwing snapped before glancing at Wakko. "I've always questioned this one's guardianship issues-"

Annoyed Wakko looked at the man's argyle sweater vest, pink shirt and khaki pants and asked, "How come even when you're not in costume you still dress like a tool?"

He decided not to say anything else when Mr. Bunny shook him again. Staying silent would be wise.

"And that one over there," Darkwing said, gesturing to Jeeves who still had his hands clamped on Max's shoulders. "Obviously his family needs to consider hiring a younger butler if they plan on trusting their child to his keeping since he obviously-"

"Hey man up yours," Max barked while jabbing a finger at him. "Where the fu-"

"Master Montana be silent," Jeeves hissed. "I shall handle this."

"I'm not letting that asspie say anything about you-"

"Montana hush!"

"Notice your precious angel was right up in the middle of it," Daffy lisped while he set a now calm Plucky on the floor beside him. "Or is the rainbow of colors on her feathers just a new fad with the kids?"

"It's obvious that my poor daughter was attacked," Darkwing began before being cut off by Mr. Bunny.

"How about getting the security tapes Mr. Hero. See the cameras?" The tall rabbit asked while using one of his ears to gesture toward a corner where a small red light was blinking. "Why not get them and watch them and find out what really happened?"

"I was getting to that," Darkwing said. "In fact, why not bring your little bundles of innocence to the back office so we can all watch what happened?"

Wakko noticed that Gosalyn lost the smirk on her beak at that statement. Yeah, he and the others had certainly been willing participants, but she and her little gang of cronies started it. He had to wonder how Father Dearest would like finding that out. He also saw that PJ and Dizzy didn't seem to think it was a great idea, but Tank appeared to be unconcerned. The boy wasn't intelligent though; maybe he didn't realize what was going to happen.

"Lovely idea," Mr. Bunny muttered while he began to push Buster and Wakko toward the outer edge of the rink. "Let's go Heckle and Jeckle; try to figure out what you two did now."

Wakko listened and threw in a few comments as Buster began to fill his father in on the entire escapade while the man sighed and nodded. When he looked over to the edge of the rink they were currently being led to, he saw the owner hesitantly stepping on the floor before slipping on filling and sighed. Meanwhile, Bugs and Elmyra's father were walking out on the rink towards them, both looking pretty unconcerned about the fact that half of the party's guests were no doubt going to be getting hauled off to the pokey soon.

Babs was now over at Yakko's side, yanking on his hand and talking while he picked up a very amused looking Dot. Meanwhile he was trying to listen to something Elmyra's mother was saying and the other girls were still chatting at him.

At least Yakko looked half-way amused, kinda. Wakko really hoped he was; half the time it was hard to tell what mood Yakko was in. Wakko had a feeling that his girlfriend was part of the reason for that; he and Dot had let him know in no uncertain terms they didn't like her. The only reason Wakko was civil to her on the phone or when he saw her was because he got in trouble if he wasn't and Yakko made him apologize.

He didn't mind apologizing normally if he really did something bad or really screwed up, but he didn't think he was that awful to her. He did think she was a bitch and it totally wasn't fair that he got in trouble for it. It was the truth; wasn't his fault he didn't know any better words to call her. Max had suggested a few, but Wakko had a feeling Yakko would tie his tongue in a knot if he used them.

"Well, the invitation did promise the party would be a blast," Max said in a bored tone while gingerly touching his rapidly darkening eye. Smirking he asked, "Hey, think they'll want us to do another ad for this place?"

Wakko was relieved to see that he wasn't the only one that shot Max a withering look.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 15, 1995

"OK girls, just stand there for a second – meaning don't move. Sam turn the lights lower on the left. No, too much reflection on Dot – somebody get some spray on Molly. And refluff her ears – she looks like she's wilting. And somebody kill the shine on Dot."

Dot, her arms thrown around Molly's neck, fidgeted slightly as she felt one of the makeup artists begin to comb the fur on the right side of her head and straighten the bow tying up her ears. Cutting her eyes to the left since she couldn't move her head because her cheek was pressed up against Molly's she saw Lisa standing by Ms. Cunningham talking. Both women looked over and gave her and Molly smiles and waves before they turned as yet another man came over to talk. Meanwhile, Molly giggled when another makeup person began repositioning the bows on her ears, pausing to tweak her nose and whisper to both of them that they were doing great.

She didn't know about Molly, but she was happy to hear that. This had been the most nerve-racking experience of her life. Not the modeling exactly – that was as much fun as she thought it would be. When they had shown up hours ago they had been hustled off to a back room to begin putting on outfits, being measured or ordered to stand still while someone adjusted a hem or picked out a different shirt. It was like having a custom made outfit when they were done; no wonder April always looked good.

The photographer was nice she supposed, but he just really ordered them around a lot. When she and Molly arrived he had introduced himself and seemed delighted to know that both of them were child stars and well used to being in front of cameras and taking directions. She figured he would have known who they were before they arrived; she and Molly both had to have a few headshots and a couple of full body shots done when they sent their portfolios over in March. She really had thought they would need more but Ms. Cunningham had said with children it wasn't necessary. Children grow and change so fast she said that the expense alone wouldn't be worth it.

Yakko had nodded and said she could send in the photos anyway. That was after he talked to Ms. Cunningham, and both of them had talked to Plotz and Mr. Spielberg and a hundred other people at the studio. Apparently, even when their show wasn't on they still had to talk to the studio. She hadn't known that either; it sounded like fun but she really hadn't been trying to be a pain.

She couldn't believe that they had actually been chosen. Molly got the call first, saying that the owner of the store liked her look and the energy she displayed in the pictures and wanted to see her. When Molly got back and called her, Dot had been happy for her friend but really jealous. She hadn't wanted to be jealous, but she was; she and Molly both had sent their pictures in at the same time.

Molly had said that if she wasn't hired too she would refuse to do it but Dot told her not to be stupid. It would be ridiculous for Molly not to take the job simply because her friend didn't get hired. Secretly though, Dot had been happy to hear it and wondered if she would have been as noble if the situations were reversed. She'd like to think she would.

It turned out OK in the end though; while Ms. Reinger had wanted to see a few other girls first and she was pretty sure she was going to like Dot, or so she said when she finally called her to come meet her at her posh downtown L.A. office.

She said not only was she cute and the right look for the children's clothing line, she also said right now Dot was a hot commodity because of 'Animaniacs'. At first that had annoyed Dot – she was more than just the preening girl she played on the show – but decided to be happy. Without the show she wouldn't have probably even been considered. Actually, without the show she probably wouldn't be able to shop there anyway.

Then when they had both been told that not only were they both going to be hired, they would both be working together Dot had barely been able to contain her excitement. They were going to be like April; she did her own solo shots, but a lot of hers were with another model who she ended up liking quite a bit.

They had been told that this would be their first day of shooting for the new Fall line, even though it was April and she felt a little silly wearing some of these clothes. Apparently the posters and magazine ads and such were shot months in advance.

They had been given directions on where to go and when they arrived Dot had been terrified to see not only Mr. Plotz there, but Mr. Spielberg as well. And Molly had been equally horrified to see Mr. Moon; she said he was one of the upper level executives at Disney. Not exactly on the same rank as Mr. Plotz, but he was pretty high up.

Worried, she had asked Yakko why they were there. He was really grumpy today though; he shrugged and said he'd find out later since the people they wanted there weren't there but the ones they didn't want there were.

Dot had rolled her eyes but decided not to make a reply; it was probably wiser. Yakko got touchy about 'The Dragon Lady' as Dot had started calling Athena. She was mystified what Yakko saw in her.

She had wanted to come today; she had been begging Yakko to let her tag along because she said she wanted to offer 'moral support' to Dot. Personally Dot wanted to be allowed to practice with her mallet on the cat's head and she sure didn't want any support from her.

Bugs was driving them though and had said no; no way, nuh-uh, forget it, out of the question. Dot had plenty of support already and from people that didn't care that her last name was 'Warner'.

While she hadn't known what Bugs was referring to silently Dot had cheered and tried really hard not to go hug the rabbit. She lost on restraining that urge; when Yakko had glared at her she said it was because Bugs said he would drive them to the shoot. She was happy that Bugs even wanted to come and offer support.

And he was right; she was getting plenty of it. Bugs had taken them out to breakfast before the shoot. Lisa had surprised her by taking the morning off to come up there and watch. Ms. Cunningham was trying to talk and be friendly but she was busy between answering her phone and talking to people, so Lisa being there was helping Molly too.

Mr. Plotz was even halfway nice; he said he thought it was lovely that at least one of the Warners wasn't being a huge pain. She was actually doing something that would shed positive light on their images, the show and the studio.

She had really tried not to giggle at the man's words; he was being sort of friendly – for him anyway.

She supposed he went through a lot; running the animated section, having to deal and coordinate things with the humans, meetings, dealing with the press and anything else that came up. Just last week Wakko and his friends had caused yet another scandal, this time at the skating rink which involved quite a bit of press.

She had secretly been delighted that Yakko had let her come back in the office with everyone to watch the security tapes, not only was the entire thing spectacular she got to see Gosalyn totally humiliated because she lied and said she and her friends had done nothing to instigate the fight and they were attacked. The video tape proved otherwise, and it was with an extreme amount of ill grace that Darkwing had managed to choke out an apology.

Dot had almost wanted to gloat to the girl – yes, Wakko and his friends could be pains. They were rude, gross and inconsiderate at times, but they weren't known to go around attacking people for no reason, even if the reason wasn't very good. And to be fair, they hadn't attacked the girls really, not until they were attacked first, and Babs had been there slinging pies anyway. That's what Gosalyn got for lying about her brother; she almost had wanted to throw a pie in the girl's face herself. She hadn't though; she settled for throwing a smug look at the duckling instead when she was escorted out by her father.

The worst that had happened was that Wakko, Buster and Babs were banned for a month from the rink for taking part in the pie fight, but they had all been allowed to hang out long enough to get a piece of cake while Elmyra hurriedly unwrapped her presents from everyone so she could dole out hugs. Plucky and Max both got a three month ban as did Tank, Dizzy and PJ. Dot had been very satisfied to see that Gosalyn and Rhuebella had also been banned for a month. It would have been nice to hear the rink's manager say a permanent ban, but she chose to be happy with what they got.

The papers had an absolute field day with the entire thing, as usual painting the 'fab four' and any of their unnamed allies in a positive light so it wasn't too bad. Babs had given a short interview where she said the boys had 'dashed to their rescue'. Later when they got home and before Yakko talked to him Wakko had said they had just been looking for an excuse to fight with the other boys anyway and this had been pretty damn handy. He said Babs had been coming up off the ground with a look that would have made anyone else back off; he said Babs took 'no shit' especially from a skuzzy rat.

He also said he threw a few punches himself but by the time he got around to actually swinging fists, everyone was covered in pie crust and filling and pecans and berries and it was so unrecognizable on the tape that it wasn't seen. He hadn't told Yakko that though; he had told her later when their older brother was out of the room. Dot had frowned at him for a moment before laughing and hugging him; no he shouldn't have used his fists probably, but he trusted her with the secret and that was good enough for her.

Yakko had been annoyed for about ten minutes in which he lectured and grounded Wakko for a week. He said fighting was wrong and there were other ways to resolve their differences and went into a long boring talk about why exactly he couldn't fling pies all over the mall. After that he had lectured a bit more on Wakko's language. Then he said if it had been him he would have malleted the hell out of the other boys and taken the girls for a soda.

He said if that was him though; he certainly wasn't saying Wakko should do it because it was wrong and illegal and he knew he wouldn't ever do that. After that he had winked then proceeded to unground Wakko and challenged him to a game of Pac-Man classic so he obviously wasn't too mad.

Dot had to laugh at the whole thing; Wakko and his stupid friends avoided the girls half the time like they had a disease. Let anyone else even look at them wrong and they were jumping in to fight all while denying they were actually fighting because the boys pushed down the girls.

Still unmoving as the photographer came toward them, Dot glanced over his shoulder, seeing Bugs and Yakko talking. She gave a small, barely audible sigh.

She had been sort of upset Wakko wasn't coming. Just sort of – Wakko would have been bored five minutes into this and would no doubt have caused trouble or fallen asleep. It wasn't that he didn't support her or didn't care; he had given her a hug before she left and seemed quite happy for her even if he didn't want to hear too many details. He just got bored really easy.

But Yakko – she had to beg Yakko to come, something she thought she'd never have to do. No matter how many other people were there she really wanted her oldest brother on the sidelines watching her. Yes, she was enjoying preening in front of the camera with her best friend and she wanted Yakko to see that at least one of his siblings could manage to stay out of trouble for longer than ten minutes, but she wanted his presence there. Him being there was comforting and helped her relax.

He had almost refused to go if Athena wasn't welcome, one of the first times she had ever seen Yakko try to butt heads with Bugs. Usually Yakko would give his opinion to Bugs since the rabbit always listened; frequently they would debate some topic in which she knew nothing about. She had never seen him just refuse to listen to anything the rabbit said. He was being supportive to her but she could tell he was annoyed with Bugs.

She wasn't though; when they had been away from Yakko for a minute she had thanked him for not letting the Dragon Lady come. He hadn't said anything but patted her head so she assumed that was a form of 'you're welcome'.

"Alright girls, smile. Molly, squeeze in a little tighter to Dot – you two are supposed to look like you're having fun! And this is fun right?"

Yes, it was fun. She wished Yakko looked like he was having more fun, but since he was just sitting in a chair she supposed it wasn't that interesting. She thought she was being a little selfish, whining and pleading and crying for him to come until he relented, but she was still happy he was there and not with Dragon Lady.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Just take the damn picture so we can move this along._

Yakko slumped lower against the wall, crossing his arms and wishing the photographer would stop primping the girls and start shooting the pictures so they could get out of there. Already three hours of this and no end in sight.

He hadn't wanted to come; this was Dot's dream, not his. He supported her in it but he hadn't really wanted to be involved. The multiple hours he had spent with Ms. Cunningham speaking to TP and anyone else involved in this damn thing were more than enough support.

Sitting around watching her stand next to Molly and smile was cute for about five minutes. At ten it was just dull. At twenty minutes he had wanted to run screaming out the door.

He sighed, casting a glance toward the door he was next to. He had wanted to leave earlier, take a walk, anything, but the door simply led out into a brightly lit corridor. Not to mention that Bugs said he really didn't think he should get out of sight; Dot would be worried and upset.

And she probably would be. When he had said something about not going she had almost burst into tears. No matter how mad he was or how bad his mood was it wouldn't be right to upset her. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her this happy.

He really wished he hadn't let Wakko go with Foghorn to some car show now. Yes, Wakko would have been bored before the five minutes were up, but if he hadn't caved and let him go he'd be there with him. If he was there with him that would mean actually having someone around to talk to that he cared to talk to because right now he was noticing a real lack of conversational opportunities.

Plotz was sitting in a corner chair with Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Moon from Disney talking, though Plotz had spent part of the time gloating that while Warner Brothers had sent two top people to ensure that Dot would in no way be taken advantage of or shown in any sort of negative light, Disney had only sent a 'mid-level' executive to ensure their interests were covered.

Yakko had been a little surprised when he was told that a Disney executive would be there. Hell, he had been surprised to find out that both Plotz and Spielberg were going to be there. But, since Dot was on a current show he was told they felt it was important to be there, if for no other reason than to show the studio was behind her.

Of course, free publicity didn't hurt either.

Molly's show had been cancelled for awhile now but come to find out Ms. Cunningham did say that both of them had ten year contracts with the studio despite the show's cancellation. Anything they wanted to do they still had to get approval from Disney – no matter what, when anyone saw Molly's face they immediately thought Disney.

He stood up a little straighter and cracked his back and tail; at this point he'd welcome Molly's chattering. Nurse Miller was talking to Ms. Cunningham but he really didn't want to talk to either of them. Not that he didn't like the two women but even they had begun to voice their disapproval of Athena and since he was getting an earful from Bugs or Slappy or anyone else that wanted to put their two cents in, he really didn't want to hear it from them too.

Even Plotz had put his thoughts in, mostly disliking any photographs that were taken with Yakko and the green-haired girl draping herself on him. Which was too bad; Athena had said she wanted to meet him as well, but Yakko had told her he wasn't the most pleasant of individuals. She seemed to think they were best friends though; hell, she thought he and Mr. Spielberg were great friends.

They were on friendly terms of course. If he or his siblings passed the man on the lot he was always sociable, stopping to talk to them for a few minutes, but he was the same way with the cast of 'Tiny Toons'. Than again their shows had his name plastered on them and both shows were big successes; he probably thought a few minutes of pleasant chatter with a bunch of kids was the least he could do.

Yakko looked up and saw Bugs heading toward him, crunching on a carrot and he sighed again. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to him. Which was strange; normally he welcomed talking to the rabbit about anything that came to mind. Lately though he noticed he was unwilling to talk to him as much, probably because lately he found himself the only topic under discussion. That was fine now and then but at this point he felt like Bugs was beating a dead horse.

Then the last couple of days had been horrendous. Athena had begged to come to the photoshoot. Yakko had been enthused with that idea; he'd actually have someone he wanted to talk to there and would make her happy. When Bugs had said 'no way on Earth' Yakko had been pretty pissed. Bugs had no right to decide who could or couldn't come to his sister's photo session. If she wanted to watch, what harm was there?

He had tried to talk to Athena, explained that this time he couldn't include her and it wasn't his choice and she had started crying in the phone, wondering why everyone hated her so much and he had felt like such a moron. He hated seeing a girl cry, or hearing it, especially since it was his fault. He was tempted to give her the address of where the shoot was taking place and just have her come up there anyway.

When Bugs had said they'd talk about it later it elicited another eye-roll from Yakko. Something to look forward to, another lecture. He had to wonder if the rabbit had forgotten how to do anything else. While a few of the lectures had been on crazed fans – especially considering what happened to that Mexican-American singer a couple of weeks ago – most now dealt with how he was perceived by the public, or on how inappropriate his girlfriend was. She was too old, she was too trampy-looking, she was simply using him because of his name and status, the reasons went on and on.

Was it that inconceivable to Bugs that Athena might actually just like him and not because of his name? Hell, he was flattered; it wasn't every almost seventeen-year-old that wanted to date someone as young as him. He knew he was pretty mature for his age but still.

He'd think at some point Bugs would actually find something good to say about her; she was pretty, intelligent, witty. She certainly had bad traits too but Yakko mostly shrugged them off; everyone had some bad trait or quirk.

Yakko watched as Bugs leaned against the wall next to him, tossing the end bit of carrot in the trash can. Annoyed he turned to look back at Molly and Dot whom the photographer seemed to think were ready because he was directing everyone to get out of the way so he could continue his 'magic' as the man began to prance around with his camera again.

"You spend any more time staring gloomily at the floor doc you're gonna develop a permanent hunch."

Yakko chose not to even respond to that.

He wasn't going to fight, he wasn't going to say anything, just get through this for Dot's sake and get out of there. He would call Athena when they got back to the lot and do what he could to smooth things over with her.

"They look good together, don'tcha think?"

"Yeah, peachy," Yakko muttered.

Dot and Molly were a safe subject. He could talk about them.

"They look like they're having fun. Plenty of people here supporting them and cheering them on."

"Doesn't explain why I had to be here then."

"Didn't you want to come doc? Watch your little sister-"

"It's not so much that I didn't want to come," Yakko grumbled. "Just would have been nice to have some company to talk to."

"Yeah," Bugs said with a nod. "Well, I'm here and I think we need to talk."

"Well I don't see where we have much to talk about," Yakko started with a shrug. "You pulled rank and refused to even consider what I wanted so I had to look like some idiot telling her that she couldn't come. Which means that I have to sit here bored for what was supposed to be a three hour shoot and we're going into our fourth hour-"

"Look doc, I'm trying to talk to you now-"

"Why bother?" Yakko said. "It's not like you actually understand."

"I understand more than you think but anytime I try to broach that or any other subject with you lately-"

"How about not broaching it then? Not once have I asked for your opinion."

_Where had that come from?_

OK, he had been wanting to say it for awhile anyway. Maybe it would be good to get it out in the open, just once and for all tell Bugs he was quite capable of making his own decisions regarding – well damn – anything.

"Once upon a time you used to actually want my advice."

"I usually asked for it," Yakko answered.

"Even if it wasn't asked for, you did listen – be nice if you tried that now," Bugs answered, looking down at him. "Believe it or not I'm trying to help. You have a feeling that Athena wanted to come today simply because she knew who was going to be here? Disney and Warner Brothers executives?"

"Or maybe you're wrong and she wanted to come here just because she wanted to be with me; you ever think of that? Do you find it that crazy that she might just actually like spending time with me?" Yakko asked, balling his fists in annoyance.

"And obviously so do I," Bugs countered. "Trust me doc, I wouldn't be fighting this hard otherwise-"

"And she wanted to watch Dot – she likes her."

"Right. Well, this is Dot's day, not yours and she has the right to decide who comes here and I was the one driving. I doubt this girl wanted to come support her since I know Dot calls her Dragon Lady."

She did which annoyed Yakko to no end. Dot had refused to stop calling her the nickname despite pleas and threats and polite requests. He had finally been able to compromise with her; she could call her 'Dragon Lady' when Athena wasn't around; when she was she had to use her name.

Dot still got him back; now she simply called Athena 'Lady' in a weird imitation of Mindy whenever she called on the phone. Unfortunately Wakko had picked up on the name and used it too, but it was preferable to some of the names he had been calling her, several of which were beyond inappropriate and earned him a few days grounding.

At least Athena seemed to think that being called 'Lady' was some sort of honor. He failed to tell her that it wasn't exactly a title of respect.

"Look, I'll take care of Dot – just like I've always done. Just keep your advice to yourself," Yakko said, looking back toward Molly and Dot, who were now unbracing to pose with their backs at each other while the makeup artists were recombing their fur.

"Look Yakko-"

"No, you look Bugs," Yakko snapped. "I appreciate what you're trying to do; be a good father figure or Da-Doo or whatever title you've decided to give yourself but I don't need you watching over me. I have the right to decide who I want to associate with-"

"Not always you don't," Bugs answered, getting a hard tone to his voice.

Yakko wasn't used to hearing that tone from the rabbit and certainly not directed toward him.

Not that he cared of course. Right?

No of course he didn't care. Bugs needed to know what his boundaries were. There was no sense in letting the rabbit get some false sense of entitlement that he could order Yakko to do whatever he wanted.

But he's always known what he was talking about, a little voice in his head said.

Yakko told the little voice to shut up; he usually knew what he was talking about himself.

"If nothing else you represent Warner Brothers Studio; every time you do something, say something, appear in public with someone, you reflect back on the studio. What you do or say reflects back on Wakko and Dot, on me or Slappy or who-"

"Is that what this is about?" Yakko asked incredulously. "Your rep?"

"Hardly, but yeah, if you want to take that road fine, I'm worried about my rep. Course my rep can easily be repaired; not so sure about yours. I've been around a lot longer."

_Egotistical jerk._

"Don't worry about it Bugs," Yakko said. "I didn't ask for your damn opinion and-"

"Watch it doc. I've let you have plenty of leeway so far since I know you're in the emotionally unstable part of your development-"

_Emotionally unstable?_

"-but I'm about at the end of my patience. I've always treated you with respect; I expect the same."

"I'm not emotionally unstable!" Yakko yelled, then quickly lowered his voice.

_Good Yakko; just prove him right._

That's the last thing he wanted to do. Besides, Dot didn't need to see this. And his shout had turned a few heads; both Molly and Dot had cocked their heads and were watching them while the photographer had turned to glare for a moment. Yakko glared back; it was a photoshoot; it didn't matter if there was noise in the background.

He tried to calm down - after all he wasn't trying to sabotage Dot's day - he continued.

"I do know that I'm really sick of you sticking your whiskers in where they're not wanted or needed. About anything," Yakko added. "I think I've more than proven that I know what I'm doing at this point in my life and I don't want or need any help, especially from you!"

_OK…am I trying to piss him off?_

_Screw that, I don't need to be babied._

_How much has he helped you?_

"Yakko – I'm not trying to run your-"

"Then just butt the fu-"

Yakko was stopping the word from coming out of his mouth; he rarely swore and certainly not at Bugs. Hell, he never even considered it; he respected the rabbit too much to do that.

But he didn't need to stop the word apparently – Bugs was stopping it for him.

"You really wanna argue?" The rabbit asked in a hard tone. "Fine. Let's go doc."

Reaching over Bugs grabbed Yakko's arm and began pulling him out of the area, dragging him toward the door that led to the corridor.

"Ow! Let go Bugs!"

"No."

"I don't need to be walked out like a kid!"

"Why not?" Bugs asked, reaching the door and pushing it open while still dragging Yakko along. "You're acting like one. You wanna throw your teenage temper tantrum I'll at least give you the opportunity to attempt to save some shred of dignity. Hate to see you make a bigger fool of yourself than you already have."

Seething, Yakko shut up and walked with Bugs out the door, still trying to free his upper arm from the hare's clutches while bringing his fist up to his mouth momentarily, trying to keep any further inappropriate comments to himself.

While he was furious the rabbit was once again ordering him to do something while dragging him around like a rented mule he was secretly happy Bugs thought about it. The last thing Yakko wanted was for Plotz or Ms. Cunningham to see him acting like an infant that didn't get his way, though with as loud as he had been yelling, they probably already had. And if he was going to actually say what he wanted to say, it would be best if they didn't have an audience.

Letting the door shut quietly behind them Bugs finally unhanded Yakko's arm and he rubbed it. The rabbit had a pretty strong grip.

Annoyed and not looking forward to another lecture Yakko slumped back against the wall, feeling a scowl twisting his features and crossing his arms. He glared up at Bugs, wishing the rabbit would just get on with it; he was actually angry enough he thought he might have the guts to truly tell Bugs to just back off once and for all.

"Now, wanna try that sentence again? Maybe try talking to me like an adult for once instead of some spoiled brat."

"I'm not acting like a spoiled brat!" Yakko snapped before inhaling deeply. Balling his fists before crossing his arms he glared up at Bugs. "Fine – I'll say what I think. I don't need your help. Once and for all, stay out of my life."

"I'm not trying to get in your life doc; I'm not even trying to tell you what to do," Bugs said in his reasonable tone that made Yakko want to scream. "I'm trying to show you what you're going to occasionally run into."

Yakko shook his head and said, "I'm not some dumb kid! I think I can figure out if someone was trying to use me – I put up with it for years remember? I'm raising two siblings – I have been for most of my life!"

"I know that; who helped you when all that came out in the papers?"

Yakko started for a second; Bugs was right there. He had been one of the most influential in helping to kill some of the bad press when that story broke.

"Then I deserve-"

"You're fourteen," Bugs continued. "An overly bright and usually mature fourteen, but still fourteen. You ever think that maybe some of us have run into this before?"

_Usually mature? _

Yakko snorted. He wasn't acting immature was he? No – he was trying to get his point across.

Hoping he didn't sound like an overly dramatic LifeTime movie he said, "I don't want your comments or opinions or suggestions-"

"Really?" Bugs asked.

"Really," Yakko said, sounding more convinced than he really felt. "I've proven over and over again I'm capable of handling myself. You don't like Athena and at this point I don't care," he continued, raising his chin. "I'm going to continue to see her regardless of your opinion. You're not my father and you're not my guardian."

"I'm the closest thing you got Yakko," Bugs said, balling his fists momentarily before reaching into his hammerspace to pull out another carrot that he shook at him for a second. "My first priority right now is trying to make sure you don't get hurt-"

"And again, I don't need you to make that your priority – you're my tutor," Yakko said. "How about just sticking with that? You don't have any right to make a decision regarding who I see, I don't care what you think you're doing. So stay out of it."

"Well, if you're sure," Bugs drawled.

"I am. Stay out of my life," Yakko said again, not liking the finality of that statement.

He shouldn't have said that; he did look at Bugs as more than his tutor; yes, it was his first job function, but he had definitely crossed the line into the 'friend' category.

After scrutinizing him for a moment Bugs nodded. "Fine. That's what you want I'll stay out of it. I'll stay far enough out that I'll decline to chaperone any future dates with this girl."

_Oh shit…__didn't want him that far out of it._

"Now wait, that wasn't-"

"I'll tell Slappy to back off too. I know she'll be delighted not to have to watch her showing you off like a trophy."

"You can't-"

"I'm sure Foghorn won't mind either; he's got other things he can be doing."

"Now you're just-"

"In fact I'll even rescind the order to security to not allow this girl on the lot-"

_What?_

"You did that?" Yakko whispered quietly.

How dare he? Bugs had definitely overstepped his bounds now and he was doubly glad he had finally told the rabbit to back off. But, it at least explained why they had always run into a brick wall getting her on the lot.

He could tell he had annoyed the rabbit though; he rarely did it but he recognized the look on his face. And Bugs was devious; there was going to be a catch somewhere, but as irritated as he was at the moment Yakko decided to speak out.

"You had no right to do that."

"Actually, I do," Bugs said, crossing his arms while still continuing to stare down at him. "I'm the lead chaperone don't forget. Even Plotz doesn't fight with me on what I decide regarding you three."

Yakko raised his eyebrows, which had been furrowed in anger, up in surprise. He knew Plotz rarely questioned the rabbit about what they did, but technically Plotz did run the show so to speak.

What the hell did that mean 'regarding you three'? Yakko felt like a damn Marionette with Bugs pulling all the strings. With that mental image any guilt he had felt about what he just said to Bugs melted away. He didn't need Bugs running his life.

"But you're so adult and can handle yourself no matter what right? You think this girl likes you no matter what situation you're in and I'm wrong about her? Let's find out. None of the others will take you off lot, at least to see her. Don't even argue," Bugs said, putting his hand up to cut off Yakko's next tirade. "Let's see how much she likes you when she doesn't have cameras in her face and can constantly try to push to meet the next biggest name on the lot. She can come to the studio. You wanted to have her come to the tower? Fine, she can come."

Yakko perked up a little at that. OK, they couldn't go out exactly, but hey, she could come to the tower, maybe while the sibs were gone. They could hang out, watch a little TV, see where that led – maybe to the bedroom…damn, bunk beds; that looked real macho…

"But don't think you'll just be allowed to run wild in the tower with her," Bugs continued, placing his hand on his chin as he thought. "I'm sure one of us will be available to stay as long as she's in your company-"

"Now wait a minute!" Yakko said, cutting the rabbit off while leaning up as much as he was able to look directly at Bugs. He failed but at least he didn't feel like a kid getting scolded for something. "That's my home-"

"That the studio gave you."

"-and I don't need a babysitter! Where do you even-"

"No way I – or anyone else with any sense – would let that happen, especially after what I've heard goes on sometimes with you and backseats."

_What did that mean?_

_Oh damn it…_

"Your raging hormones and her - left alone with a bed within five hundred feet-"

"Who needs a bed?" Yakko muttered.

"My point exactly."

_Whoops._

"I'm stepping out of the entire thing for now," Bugs said, raising his hands in a gesture of mock surrender. "You seem to have everything figured out, so I'll keep my opinion to myself. It's actually the last time I'll speak about it, until you're ready to talk anyway."

Yakko narrowed his eyes at Bugs; he did seem sincere. He had the sneaking suspicion that he had just been 'had' but damned if he could figure out where.

OK – Bugs was backing off and agreed to tell the others to do the same. That was what he wanted right?

_You should apologize_…a little voice kept saying in his head but again Yakko pushed it down. He wanted to be in control of his own life – all aspects of it.

Right?

"Fine. I don't need to talk to you," Yakko said as he tried to push down a feeling of guilt. He saw the quick flash of hurt that appeared on Bugs' face.

Probably some trick. The rabbit was an actor and was known for being a bit devious when the situation called for it. Yakko could see through his scheme.

"That's fine, though I'm here if you ever need to talk. After all, I am all ears," Bugs said with a smile that didn't quite light up his face. "Now, I'm going back in there to watch a couple of seven year olds play dress-up and probably have a more adult conversation with them," Bugs continued with a smirk. "You're welcome to come back in or you can sit out here and sulk. Either way this conversation is over, though I would hope you'd get over yourself enough to at least try to show some support for your little sister."

With a final look at him Bugs turned and disappeared through the door, where Yakko could hear the photographer calling for a wardrobe change. The door closed quietly behind Bugs, leaving Yakko alone in the hallway.

Irritated at the scolding and at himself Yakko slumped against the wall again. What was wrong with him? He knew he had been cranky lately and he had been trying not to take it out on anyone but he sort of failed on that.

_But it was Bugs' fault – he wasn't even trying to understand…_

_But Bugs said he did and that he had seen this before…_

If Bugs wanted to be that way, fine. When it came down to it Bugs was his tutor and a studio sanctioned chaperone, nothing more. He didn't need or want the rabbit's advice; he sure didn't need his help. He'd done pretty damn well prior to meeting him and he had a lot less education then than he had now…

A lot of that thanks to Bugs.

He'd be fine. Bugs could just teach him what he needed to know or take him wherever he requested and leave it at that. They didn't need to be friends.

_But you like being friends with him…_

_Friends don't try to keep you from living your life…_

Classes probably weren't going to be the same. And as much as it pained him to say it, Yakko realized he probably just lost one of his closest confidants too. But he had others; he wasn't as close to them really but at first he hadn't been close to Bugs either.

Who cared if the rabbit had gone out of his way to help him time and again?

Yakko sighed; he really did talk too much sometimes. So did Wakko or one of his friends if Bugs' crack about backseats was any indication. He'd have to strangle them later.

OK. This was what he wanted; he was the one that had been complaining that he wanted to stop being treated like a child – even though technically he still was and rarely did Bugs actually treat him like that anyway. But the rabbit was now giving him the freedom to do what he wanted, at least with Athena on the lot.

Sure, she'd be happy with that. She could come over, they could hang out for awhile, Bugs could finally see that she wasn't some social-ladder climbing scumbag, and he'd eventually be allowed to actually go places with her again.

A month. No, less than a month; he bet Bugs wouldn't even hold out that long. Probably a couple of weeks and then he'd lighten up; even if he refused to actually chaperone a date Yakko had no doubts that one of the others would go.

Hopefully Athena wouldn't mind a few quiet dates at the lot; she did like going out though…

Not because she liked being seen with him. Bugs was wrong there…he had to be.

Trying to ignore the feelings of doubt he was having Yakko pushed himself off the wall, intent on heading back in to watch the shoot. It wasn't Dot's fault and she had wanted him there with her, not pouting out in the hallway.

He could go cheer for her, give her and Molly a smile and a wave. He could just totally ignore Bugs.

XXXXXXXXXX

April 29, 1995

"This sucks. Come on Yakko, can't we try to do something else? I can watch TV at home!"

Yakko looked at Athena getting huffy on his couch while sighing and agreeing she was right. This was beyond dull; who knew sitting on the couch could be so energy draining?

"Look, I know this isn't very fun – trust me I know," he said in a quiet voice while glancing over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "But at some point they'll get tired of the constant hovering and loosen their watch."

He hoped anyway; the last month had been emotionally exhausting and was beginning to cause irreparable harm to their relationship. She would drive up for the evening, bitch about the cost of fuel and the wear and tear on her car and the time it took, get all depressed on the couch, then get whiney when she had to leave.

And he never wanted her to leave, she was usually chased out around nine or so by whichever chaperone decided to stay; always Bugs or Slappy, who weren't exactly joys to be around at the moment. And with Bugs having set up camp in his kitchen this evening as the current warden, he had a feeling she would be chased out soon.

He settled back on the couch, draping his arm around Athena's shoulders. After a moment she curled up against him and they watched as the evening news started, giving an update on the Oklahoma City bombing.

Awful – simply awful what beings – whether humans or toons – could do to each other. When he had first seen the news footage of the bombing he had been horrified, even trying to keep Wakko and Dot away from any news of the incident. The initial images were traumatizing to him; he could imagine what they would do to them.

Despite his best attempts though he had been unable to really shield them from everything. By the afternoon of the day of the attack both his siblings came to him confused and terrified, wanting him to answer all their questions that he simply didn't have answers for.

As luck would have it, Bugs had overheard Dot crying on him while Wakko tugged at his shirt asking a hundred different questions about why and who and how and the rabbit had offered his opinion and suggestion, one of the first times since their argument that he had actually attempted to be helpful. But the rabbit had said Yakko was doing not only his siblings an injustice about not speaking to them and trying to shield them, but he was also doing an injustice to everyone who was injured or actually perished in the attack. It wasn't going to go away, it happened and rather than try to deal with it himself he offered a suggestion; talk to Dr. Scratchansniff, all three of them. The man was there to help anyone on the lot who needed assistance; why not avail themselves of his expertise?

At first Yakko had been annoyed and told Bugs he would handle it, just like he could handle everything else. When a day passed, then two and Dot and Wakko were both still waking up with nightmares he had to concede that perhaps Bugs had a point. No matter how gifted he was, he honestly had no idea what to say to even try to ease their fears and explain why two people did such an unthinkable act. And why would he? He didn't understand it himself. Hell, even President Clinton's speech to the nation – directed towards children no less – hadn't exactly cleared everything up, though he had to give the man kudos for trying.

In desperation he had turned to Dr. Scratchansniff; the man was a psychiatrist, perhaps he could help. The doctor, who had been talking to almost all the children on the lot, welcomed them in with open arms as well. Yakko had been a bit surprised about that but figured that the Doctor had probably wanted to check on them anyway but feared overstepping his bounds. The news that Yakko and Bugs weren't exactly on the best of terms due to their own arguments on the rabbit's authority had slowly worked its way around the lot. That had annoyed him; not only was his life his own affair, but how he dealt with the people who were trying to run his life was also his own business. Not to mention he actually felt like a jerk about the whole thing…sort of. Not much.

While the Doctor didn't have all the answers, he was at least able to calm Wakko and Dot's fears. Yakko had to admit to himself that talking to the Doctor had even relieved some of his own stress. Amazing how something that happened so far away could affect people all around the country; even the world.

The big problem after that was Athena; not for the first time Yakko thought secretly Bugs might be right about her. Maybe. Not that he would admit it, at least out loud. No way was he going to mention that and listen to the rabbit say 'I told you so'.

When he cancelled their last weekend lot date because he wanted to stay at home with just his siblings she had screeched in his ear like a howler monkey about the cancellation, thinking he was snubbing her. When he explained why he was canceling it – a national tragedy, a traumatized pair of siblings, his own worries and fears she had callously said that the incident didn't effect them in California. If he felt so bad he should demand to do a press conference to give his condolences and if he needed support she would gladly come to stand by his side.

He didn't care how pissed off she got, he absolutely refused. In the midst of this, that would be beyond tacky and hurtful.

But at least when he started arguing with her she backed off, sounding contrite. He excused her of course; she was a girl with very strong emotions and again, with no real experience being in the news, how would she know what would be considered tacky? She saw an injustice and she wanted to voice her thoughts and opinions.

But the damn voice that had been popping in his head lately and trying to contradict everything he thought voiced itself again.

_How could she not see that was tacky__ and heartless and selfish? Even the late night comedians aren't touching it except to offer their condolences. Anyone should be able to see that; hell a five year old would realize that…right?_

Could Bugs be correct? Was Slappy? Or Ms. Cunningham, who was being surprisingly vocal all of a sudden with this despite the fact that she had never once said a thing about any of his girlfriends? Mr. Bunny, whom he didn't even think paid attention to his life or even knew he was dating anyone? Maybe Wakko and Dot, who had overheard part of the argument on the phone with Athena about her press conference idea because they once again were listening in on his conversations and had been so horrified that he for once hadn't even yelled at either of them for some of the language they used?

How many damn people were watching what he was doing?

He changed the channel as a boring story about some old woman finally graduating college began and found MTV; the channel was having a special dedicated to now deceased musicians and Kurt Cobain was up next. He put the remote down; sure, Cobain had died the previous year but Yakko was still a fan. Besides, maybe they had come up with yet another conspiracy theory surrounding the troubled singer and guitarist's death.

Trying to pay attention as the band's logo appeared on the television, Athena began to purr again while running a hand down his ear. Annoyed he flicked it trying to shake her off. Dot was about the only one he'd let do that.

Giving him a pout Athena asked, "Come on Yakko-"

"Athena, look, Bugs is in the kitchen, sitting at my table probably eating all my peanut butter. I don't want to do anything with him there."

And the rabbit would occasionally peek out; his ears left long shadows on the carpet outside the kitchen door. It was actually sort of creepy.

"You never want to do anything," Athena said, cuddling up to him again. "Always you want to sit on the couch and be good."

Slumping down beside her he said, "Not so much I want to be good, but really, what the hell do you want me to do? I can't leave without them and they aren't budging on that."

"You said you're in charge, you are the one that runs the show. Prove it. Let's leave-"

"Oh not this again," Yakko sighed. "We talked about this already."

For the last two weeks now Athena had been pestering him to leave the lot with her and go anywhere, just somewhere that wasn't the tower. At this point he was almost tempted; not only was he tired of listening to her whine about only being able to eat pizza and watch TV, he was pretty sick of it himself.

He cast another glare toward the kitchen; silently cursing Bugs for this. The rabbit had done exactly as he said he would back in mid-April; he hadn't said another word about Athena. He had directed Security to allow her access to the lot. He never said a word about her in the tower; in fact he had said little regarding anything to Yakko. At best the relationship could be considered 'professional'; Bugs would teach him what he needed to know. Yakko would listen to what he said and learn what was required. Other than occasional small talk they hadn't talked like they used to.

Yakko was still mad at the rabbit – or annoyed. He could safely say the word was annoyed.

In actuality Yakko felt partially responsible for the deterioration of the relationship, especially since he was wondering if Bugs was right. Than again Bugs should have stayed out of it – he wasn't his father.

"But Yakko, when? When will you be able to do something again?"

"Good question," Yakko muttered, resting his chin on her shoulder. Looking into her face for a moment he rolled his eyes when she kissed him; he would always turn into a sucker when she kissed him. "Let's wait another week or two, see what happens. Trust me, they'll get bored with hanging out in my kitchen at some point."

"I hope so," Athena said, casually resting her hand in his lap for a moment before she began to lightly run it up his chest. "Because I'm getting bored hanging out on your couch, much too bored to continue this much longer," she said, giving his thigh a light squeeze. "We could do so much more, somewhere else, without them."

Yakko had to admit, he was torn. Leaving the lot – after all the hell he had given Wakko, all the talking and threats of dire consequences that hung over both his siblings heads if either of them tried something that stupid, how could he even consider it?

At the same time, he was getting bored, and it had only been two weeks. He could imagine that Athena was bored, and it wasn't fair to her was it? To make her drive all that way to simply sit on his couch and veg out…and the way she was talking she was getting bored enough to seriously consider not coming up anymore, which would be a tragedy.

_It's only been two weeks though__… talk about no patience._

_Screw it, we're teenagers, we don't do patience._

"Give it one more week," Yakko said, trying to keep the begging tone out of his voice. "Let me talk to Bugs, see if I can convince him to at least get out, maybe go to a movie or the mall or something."

"I say ditch the bunny and fly solo, but fine," Athena sighed. "Talk to him, see if he'll lighten up." In a sad quiet voice she added, "I had hoped that he would start liking me, I've tried, really hard, to show how much I like him; I even brought him a carrot cake. What rabbit doesn't like carrot cake?"

He rolled his eyes at that, getting annoyed with Bugs all over again. She had brought him a carrot cake and had presented it to Bugs when she arrived. Bugs had refused the treat, politely of course. Bugs may not like her, but he was keeping his feelings to himself; when he spoke to her it was in a neutral bland voice, never rude, never sharp, but never showing any trace of warmth or acceptance.

Yakko scowled to himself; Bugs was being an unreasonable ass. But he would try to talk to the rabbit; unfortunately this time he really was holding all the cards. Both Wakko and Dot would be out next weekend; Wakko to go to Buster's, Dot was going to some fashion show with Nurse Miller and spending the weekend with her. He would be entirely by himself for the whole weekend; maybe Bugs would relent. Hell, Bugs wasn't going to be available next weekend anyway; he had mentioned he was going to be going out with friends and that Slappy had already offered up her matronly-chaperoning services.

But with Bugs not being there, maybe he wouldn't care as much. It had been two weeks, surely he couldn't still be annoyed with him right?

Seeing Bugs come out of the kitchen, Yakko turned his eyes toward the clock and saw it was about the usual time he booted Athena out of the tower. Yakko pushed down his annoyance; if they were going to condemn him to trying to date a girl while restricted to the lot the least they could do was be available to stay until he wanted her to leave. After all it was his house; couldn't he at least decide when he wanted guests over?

The last few times Yakko had complained, making snide comments while Bugs or Slappy practically threw Athena out by her tail, but this time he chose to keep quiet. If he was going to try to get Bugs to ease up, it would not be prudent to make a smart mouthed comment. Best to stay on his good side, which lately seemed to mean not talking.

XXXXXXXXXX

May 5, 1995

"No, it's OK Slappy, really, she's not coming up this weekend. I'm just going to spend-"

"You sure Yakko? Ya know, me and Skippy here are gonna pop some corn and watch 'Cool Runnings'-"

_Why?_

"-and we've even got a new bag of walnuts to munch on. You're welcome to come here kiddo; shouldn't spend so much time alone in-"

Tucking his shirt into his jeans and only half paying attention to her Yakko adjusted the phone on his shoulder and said, "No, that's OK Slappy-"

"Walnuts are good for you," Slappy said, talking over him. "You know that there's an old study that says they help delay the onset of Alzheimer's-"

_Alzheimer's__? I'm fourteen – it's not at the top of my list of ailments that could strike me._

"No, really Slappy, I'll be fine. You can just stay home with Skippy, I'll be here, all by myself. I want to be alone-"

_Cut the drama Yakko, get off the damn phone._

"I mean I just didn't want you to have to drive all the way up here for nothing tomorrow," he said, pulling on the jacket she had helped pay for and feeling slightly bad that he was lying right to the squirrel's face. Sort of; he was on the phone so he was just lying to her ears. Maybe it wasn't as bad.

Yeah, like he'd let Wakko or Dot get away with that lame excuse.

Some role model he was turning out to be. He tried to talk himself into believing it wasn't that bad; Slappy was instrumental in keeping him on lockdown at the lot.

But Bugs hadn't wanted to relent despite Yakko's pleas and attempts to talk to him rationally. It had turned into a yelling match in his office. Well, Yakko was yelling; Bugs was his calm collected self the smug bastard. All he would say was that he hadn't seen anything to show him that Athena wasn't trying to claw her way up the social ladder on his back he didn't care how many carrot-cakes she tried to bribe him with. Yakko was refusing to speak to him about anything other than begging and whining or demanding to go off lot. The best Yakko had got was 'maybe next week' before Bugs had thrust a test at him.

"Athena's not going to come-"

"That's a first. Can't say I'm surprised though. Probably tired of the shortage of publicity in the tower. Don't be too heartbroken kiddo, trust me, everyone was hoping for this. Hell, Wakko and Buster were trying to talk that insane loon girl into teaching them how to make a voodoo doll of her-"

_What?_

"-and I know this is for the best. I know a couple of cute girls that would-"

Yakko clenched his jaw but let Slappy talk for a few moments about a few girls she knew, that would love to meet a gentleman like him, while he smoothed his hair back. He really wanted to say that everyone thought Athena was so horrible – she was hungry for publicity and such, only wanted to see him because he was a star. What about the girls they were trying to set him up with?

Deciding he had let her badmouth Athena long enough he interrupted Slappy.

"No, it's fine Slappy. We didn't break up-"

"Awwww no? That's too damn bad; more stubborn than I thought and that means her and you. Now I think I lost the office pool on this one; wonder who's-"

"I've got to go Slappy," Yakko said, checking his watch and not wishing to hear anymore about the way the adults were betting on his social life; he was running late. "I think I hear the phone ringing."

"I find that really amazing since you're on the phone."

_Shit. _

"I mean on the television," Yakko said, slapping a hand over his eyes, amazed at his own idiocy. "Yeah, that's it. I'm getting ready to watch 'Play Misty for Me', phone's sort of important in there."

"And it's about an obsessed female," Slappy said dryly. "Sort of fitting. After that check out 'Fatal Attraction'."

Annoyed, Yakko struggled to keep the tone out of his voice. Slappy was sharp; he wasn't going to run the risk of her checking up on him because he gave himself away with his voice.

"Really Slappy, I'm fine. I'm just going to have a nice quiet relaxing weekend," he replied, looking at his watch again.

It was already seven-forty-five; he had said he would meet her at seven-thirty and she didn't like being kept waiting.

"If you're sure Yakko – you don't sound good kid, maybe you should lay down and relax."

"Yeah, I'll do that," Yakko said, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen while tapping his foot in impatience. Twisting the phone cord around his finger he added, "I'm not feeling well so-"

"I'll call and check on you tomorrow and I'll send-"

"No!" Yakko yelled into the phone as he stood straight up. He did not need anyone coming by to 'check on him'. That would be very bad.

_Don't panic stupid…and __I'm supposed to be the calm one._

Swallowing and making himself calm down he said, "No, that's not necessary, trust me. I really just want to be alone; I've got a paper to write anyway and a few other things to do that will be easier to get done without the sibs around," he added, hoping he wasn't rambling.

"If you're sure kid-"

"I am."

"Alright. I'm going to go round Skippy up, get this movie playing. You lie down Yakko, try to feel better…what's wrong with you anyway?"

"Um…headache," he said taken aback at the speed she fired the question at him. Fishing around for a likely illness he added lamely, "And a cold. And a cough."

"Right. OK. A headache. And a cold. And a cough I never heard. If you say so," Slappy sighed into the phone. "OK, have a good night kid; call me if you need me."

"I will. Bye," he said hurriedly, almost slamming the phone in the receiver while delighted that she had finally stopped talking.

He had a bad feeling that she didn't buy his 'I'm sick, Athena isn't coming and I want to be alone all weekend' excuse. In hindsight if he had more of a plan when she called to check on when she was supposed to be by tomorrow he might have been able to come up with something more convincing. But he hadn't expected her to call out of the blue; she used to just to check up on him but she hadn't really done that lately.

Having people worrying about you all the time was a real pain. Not only did they want to 'do what was best for you' whether you wanted them to or not, then they wanted to 'check up on you' even when you were telling them to leave you alone. It was nice sometimes, but in certain situations – like now – it could be quite tricky to deal with.

But, as long as she didn't come by he would be fine. She probably wouldn't; Slappy hated uninvited visitors herself, he doubted she would do it to anyone else. If she called he could always say he didn't answer the phone because he was asleep or the music was turned too high or something. He could think about a better excuse later; he had a ride to catch.

_This is such a __stupid idea…_

_Shut up, it's brilliant. What can happen?_

Gazing around the tower for a moment he flicked the lights in the kitchen off and went out the front door, looking at the sun still sinking below the horizon. Taking a deep breath he closed the door, standing on the landing for a moment and looking at the lot. His home, recently his prison, but not tonight; hell, not this weekend maybe. It should all go without a hitch. His first real date without a chaperone hanging over his shoulder like he was a ten-year-old who couldn't be trusted.

Even though right now he wasn't exactly radiating trust and integrity was he? Lying, sneaking off the lot for a whole damn weekend…was he insane? He worked really hard to be seen as the respected responsible one; if anyone ever found out about the unauthorized sight-seeing tour of ToonTown…going to a party, staying who the hell knew where doing who the hell knew what…

He had a vision of several chaperones lined up to kick his ass and he almost didn't climb down the ladder. Several of the chaperones had rather large feet; after all, two of them were rabbits.

But, Athena had convinced him; the odds of him ever being able to leave the lot to see her were slim, at least in the near future. He wanted to do something 'normal', not the usual go to dinner and watch a movie without someone hanging over his shoulder, though he had been told most kids weren't allowed to do that until they were a bit older anyway. But he wasn't like 'most kids'; hell, he was Yakko Warner, normally bright, mature and responsible.

Besides, this was the third week of being stuck on the damn lot and not being allowed to see Athena. How much did they expect out of him – out of her? To keep driving up there so she could be glared at and belittled…

OK, that wasn't fair, no one had belittled her, though sometimes she said things that made Yakko want to jump down her throat. She could be callous, cold and selfish on occasion, but only on occasion. Other times she was so warm and loving and giving and just listening to her made him excited, especially about tonight; she had promised a 'damn good time', better than anything he had ever dreamed and he had finally agreed to accompany her. After some sneaking around of course. And lying, his big pet peeve.

Looking back on it, he was a poor liar; if this went well and he ever tried it again he better come up with a better story than the tripe he just spewed out at Slappy, even though he knew she probably didn't buy it. At least she was polite enough not to say that. He doubted Bugs would have been.

Quickly climbing down the ladder, his fingers shaking in nervousness and anticipation and excitement he reached the pavement and he almost ran toward vistors parking. Athena was waiting down the block in an alley; they couldn't risk her being seen on the lot. Bugs, Slappy, anyone with any authority over him was pretty much gone for the evening, but still, not all of the security guards were idiots; some were downright intelligent. No sense in tempting the fates; he needed to sneak off without being seen and having Athena's name on the visitor's log wouldn't exactly be covering their tracks.

Thrusting his hands deep in his jacket's pockets as he reached the parking lot he continued at a brisk pace, not running but not dawdling. He didn't want to attract attention but he was starting to feel edgy; random what-if thoughts colliding in his head with the other thoughts of excitement and the feeling of freedom, of doing what he wanted for once, not having to worry about if Bugs or whoever would approve.

Walking out the side gate that led to the sidewalk without a backwards glance Yakko continued at a vigorous pace, trying to keep his head down as much as possible and hoping he didn't look too suspicious while continuously scanning the street for anyone he knew or worse, a TIS car. If he got caught, taken away by them…he'd never see Wakko and Dot again.

He kept telling himself he was being ridiculous; he had done this for years, relying on his own cunning and ability to blend in with the surrounding area. He had been afraid he was out of practice. He rarely had to rely on those skills as much anymore; if anything being a few years older and having a couple years of acting lessons under his belt probably helped.

Of course he wasn't going to have any more lessons if he got picked up…what was he thinking?

He almost turned back again and it was with extreme effort that he kept moving forward, feeling relief when he saw the alley Athena had mentioned, right next to a bail bonds place.

Crossing the sidewalk and beginning to walk down the alley he spotted the Champaign colored Taurus backed in next to several dumpsters, complete with an irritated looking cat sitting behind the wheel, one hand propping up her head, the fingers of her other hand beating out a rhythm on the steering wheel.

Opening the door he slid into the tan seat, noticing her short skirt and lacy black top. Good choices.

"Hey. Sorry I-"

"Wondered if you forgot about me," she purred, leaning over and planting a passionate kiss on his lips before wrapping her arms around him.

"Never," he muttered before returning the kiss.

_Shit, you won't let me._

"Ready for the time of your life?"

"Hope you're ready to deliver on this promise," Yakko said, settling back and propping his right foot up on the seat. He smirked and relaxed when she grinned at him and drove off; if anyone should be anal about seatbelt use it should be him and here he was just lounging around without one.

Thinking that he reached up and pulled the strap across his chest; no need to be too rebellious.

"What do you have planned?" Yakko asked, curious. She had been promising 'fun' and 'a surprise' but hadn't exactly been overflowing with details for him.

"You'll see," Athena said, using her tail to shift gears while one hand steered and the other hand twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "That silly rabbit never wanted you to have fun; I'm going to show you a good time tonight."

Liking the sound of that Yakko settled back in the seat, holding her hand as they drove down Warner Boulevard, heading to parts unknown and liking the feeling of being a normal teenager for once in his life.

End Chapter 29


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 30 - Even Friends Fight

_Let her cry... if the tears fall down like rain, Let her sing... if it eases all her pain…Let her go... let her walk right out on me-_

Yakko was snapped out of his internal singing by a fat duck wearing glasses waving a pipe in his face. Trying to refrain from coughing all over the guy – not that he didn't deserve it – Yakko shook his head and blinked his eyes, trying not to wince at all the smoke that was building up in the room. Not for the first time tonight he wondered how he managed to get himself into these situations while wishing one of the hosts – and boy did he use that term loosely – would open up a damn window. Was he the only one having problems breathing in there?

The duck offered one more time, screaming to be heard over the loud music but Yakko shook his head again and turned, hoping that would be enough of a hint.

It was; with a shrug he yelled something Yakko didn't understand and wandered off, puffing on the small metal pipe as Yakko glared at the boy. Or man; this guy had to be ten years older than him. Hell, quite a few of the people there were; Yakko really had to wonder about adults who routinely hung out with teenagers.

Not adults like Bugs or Slappy or even Mr. Bunny. Sure, they hung out but they didn't really party with-

Why was he thinking about the damn rabbit and the others again?

Annoyed, he slumped back into the lumpy couch as he watched Athena meandering around the room, two beers in her hand. He glared at her as she stopped to speak to some boy.

Wasn't that nice? She could talk to whoever she wanted apparently. When a rather attractive fox had spoken to him earlier Athena had flown into a rage and roughly pushed the girl, threatening to cut open her chest and eat her heart if she said anything else to him.

The girl had run off and Yakko had wondered again if maybe that mummified rabbit head was a gift from a voodoo loving friend or something she created herself. He had repressed a shiver and made sure to sit as far away from any sharp objects as possible.

He had a feeling Athena might be slightly more possessive than he had previously thought. Maybe he should check out the movie 'Fatal Attraction' one day.

Yakko turned down one beer, then something crimson red in a glass from some girl, even shrugging off her sloppy attempts at an advance on him. Girls that smelled like liquor did little for his libido. She was attractive enough but damn, even he had standards. He had never seen anyone dress quite that much like a prostitute before and was sincerely thankful that he couldn't catch an STD just by being near someone.

Just in case though he was bathing in a tub of disinfectant when he got home.

Nothing wrong with being proactive – he had heard enough from books and television, never mind Bugs' fumbling sex-ed talks – to know that he didn't want a damn disease.

She again tried to get him to drink and he finally got annoyed enough he moved to the far end of the couch, smirking to himself when she stormed off after picking herself up off the filthy cushions.

Maybe she'd run into Athena. Hell, maybe Athena would threaten to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Jesus. He was getting a contact buzz wasn't he? It was the only reason that line was so damn funny at the moment. He shook his head; he felt normal enough, just tired, humiliated and bored. One more plea to Athena to see if he could talk her into leaving. If not, he was out of there.

He watched the girl hand the beer to another boy as she began to chug whatever was in the cup. After they finished and flirted with all the grace of a couple of baboons they began to laughingly stagger toward the stairs, the boy already reaching in the girl's low-cut shirt.

Well, score one for him; let that sucker worry about getting some sort of crouch-rot. Yakko was quite happy to continue to sit on the filthy couch.

As another girl made her way toward him though he sighed, the humor starting to wear off. He wasn't sure how many times he could say no to some of these people; were they dense? Oh well, if nothing else he could take comfort in the fact that peer pressure appeared to have very little effect on him.

Athena finally made her way through the throng of dancing and laughing teenagers and adults and flopped down on the couch beside him, sloshing some of the beer in one of the cups on him.

Without a word Yakko tried to wipe off as much of the liquid as possible on the cushions. As bad as the couch was stained he doubted he would do any further harm to it.

Looking at the cups in the grinning cat's hand he asked, "How about the soda I asked for?"

"Oh come on, you don't want that," she said. "You're playing with the big boys now Yakko! Besides, the Coke is for mixing drinks – maybe you want a rum and Coke? They got-"

"Never mind, I'm not that thirsty," he sighed, wondering why he had even bothered explaining to her previously that he didn't drink, he had no interest in drinking, and he really would rather not spend any time there with people who were moving through cheap beer quicker than Homer Simpson during a dollar happy hour.

His fault though; he had agreed to stay for awhile with her, just to make her happy. That was the last time he was going to attempt to do that. He had his standards, he had his morals. He had snuck out for her, fought with friends for her, lied to people he respected for her, he'd be damned if he was going to lose what little bit of dignity he had left and get drunk for her too.

Refraining from sneering at her he turned back to the party, watching the guests dance, stagger to and fro, smoke, fall and in general act like a complete group of assholes. He decided to try to get her to leave again.

"Come on Athena, I really want to go."

She humphed before saying, "Such an old man in such a young body! I thought you were going to party with me all weekend."

"I was before I knew you planned on trying to booze me up."

"Look, just take one sip. For me?" She asked, batting her eyes.

"I said no."

Yakko removed his gaze from the loud party going on around him to look at Athena as she waved a beer in his face for the umpteenth time. He wished he knew the word 'no' in several languages because she didn't seem to be picking up the meaning of the word in English.

He didn't flinch at her look; right now she had a pleading look on as she cuddled up to him on the couch. He ignored her and looked back at the party; he was pretty sure that not only was he definitely the youngest one there, he was also the only one who was anywhere near sober.

He grimaced in disgust when he saw a very pretty white rabbit stagger across the crowded living room toward the staircase, half being led by a few friends. They didn't lead her fast enough though; she threw up on the area rug to loud laughter and groans while the man who owned the house said she had to clean that up.

Nothing doing; she had flecks of vomit in her hair; her drunken friends were standing in it, and the girl looked on the verge of passing out. That didn't stop her from accepting another cup though; when she took the cup proffered by a small round hippo she proceeded to spill half of it down her blouse.

"Look, Yakko, I know you said drinking wasn't your thing before you rattled off a shitload of boring excuses," Athena said. "How about something else? I know Mike said he had some Twink or Cuckoo-Birds-"

"I sure as hell don't want drugs!"

Yakko looked at her aghast. He was finding out all sorts of very interesting things about her tonight, not one of which was anything she should brag about.

He had figured out on his own she was selfish, manipulative and rude; he didn't realize she was this much of a party girl in the hours that she wasn't with him. Yes, there were some hints – was he that much of an idiot that he simply missed them before?

OK, a few of the times she had come over she had looked sort of glazed in her eyes, but damn it her speech was fine and other than being slightly more hyper than normal…had she been high? Or drunk? In front of his siblings to boot? Was this what normal teenagers did?

Well, if it was he was content to go hang out with the adults and be an 'old man'. This entire evening had been a gyp.

"Look, I've done them before, it's not bad," she said in a calming tone. "Don't believe all the propaganda you hear. They taste like little cocoa-"

"Well, I'm not cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," he snapped while pulling away from her. "I've heard about what it did to that bird, I'll be damned if I'm going to end up like him, hawking cereal to the Saturday morning crowd for the rest of my career."

"For someone who's so interested in their career," she purred. "You sure don't seem to like the cameras."

Yakko looked to where she was pointing; a giraffe toon who was so tall he had to duck his head to get though the doorway was pointing a camera toward them. Yakko quickly scooted down to the other end of the couch, away from Athena and her beer. Then he scooted back – being at the other end of the couch put him closer to the keg.

He really had to get out of there. Not only did the party suck, he was getting exhausted trying to find places to stay away from incriminating evidence. He hunkered down lower in his jacket, feeling like a moron. He was recognizable enough that unless he threw the damn thing over his head anyone would be able to pinpoint him in a picture.

Hell, at this point he was willing to try the Cuckoo-Birds; if they got him messed up enough he could at least pretend he wasn't at this damn 'House Party' rip-off.

"Somehow I doubt getting spotted in this…environment is going to do wonders for my career," Yakko sniffed.

"You know Yakko," she said, putting the plastic cup of beer down on the floor. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought you here."

"No kidding," he answered coldly while glancing down at his watch. It was now twelve-o-eight – for the first time in his life he couldn't wait for a date to end. At this point he just wanted to go home.

This hadn't exactly been what he had in mind when she had promised 'a damn good time'. He had been thinking a romantic dinner, maybe a walk on the beach or at a secluded park. He had been hoping for some racy lingerie. Shit, he would have settled for going to see a movie.

She did manage to get the romantic dinner at an out of the way but extremely expensive restaurant in Wishing Star District. That of course was after she had thrown a fit about Yakko refusing to even try to gain entry at several nightclubs, including 'The Viper Room' and 'The Troubadour'.

He had actually stared at her for several seconds before laughing at her. Not only were neither of them old enough to gain entry, both clubs were hangouts for half the paparazzi. Just what he wanted to stay away from.

She had pointed out that it wasn't so much that they could get in or not it was simply the fact of being seen near such a high profile establishment. He had countered with he didn't exactly have a free pass to be off the lot; no way in hell was he going to have his picture taken outside 'The Viper Room' or anywhere else that wasn't on Warner Brothers Studio property.

They had finally gotten dinner at the much less photographer-laden establishment that had pretty much eaten up a large portion of the cash he had on him, not that he had taken a lot to begin with.

After that she had dragged him to the party in a large but filthy two story row house in Natwick right near the border with Clampett where he had been for the last three hours.

It hadn't been bad, not at first. She had introduced him to several of her friends, most of whom seemed nice, though a few appeared disinterested in him. Others had been downright hostile, asking if he liked playing on a baby show and making a fool of himself. He ignored them or shot back a few insults of his own; Bugs had warned him before that some people would simply be jealous of what he had accomplished. He had experienced it a bit before, but most times he had the rabbit with him – handling it by himself and with this many people from near his own age group had been a rude shock.

The ones that had been enthusiastic at his being there wanted to introduce him to some of their own friends. A few wanted an autograph; others wanted him to pose for a picture, all while Athena had stood beside him with her arm around him possessively and proclaimed to anyone within hearing distance that he was with her. Then they had begun to scatter, to drink or smoke or wander upstairs to do who knew what and he had sort of been ignored for most of the night, every now and then someone new coming over to shake his hand or want a picture.

The cameras had made him nervous; Bugs' words about always making sure to not do anything in public he didn't want to come bite him in the ass later had come flying back at him. One of the reasons he had refused to even get near the several large kegs scattered around the living room of the house, let alone actually hold a beer. Who knows if one of these kids would take a photo then sell it to the highest bidder?

Sure he would hardly be the only underage star that had ever been photographed doing something questionable – Disney certainly had enough of them – but he actually valued his reputation as being a relatively clean cut upstanding guy. Athena had said some of the people had always thought of him as an old man in a child's body and this was his opportunity to cut loose and live a little, but he had liked his life just fine prior to this. He wasn't enough of a sheep to care that some moron at a party in Natwick that had about as much brains as a Twinkie thought he was a loser. The people he actually cared about respected him, that's what was important.

Though if they ever found out…

It was bad enough he was here now. If they ever figured out where he was he was certain he'd lose any respect he had from them.

He had tried to talk Athena into leaving a few times but she wasn't having any of that. Might ruin her fun which seemed to be drinking, trying to get him to drink while groping him at inopportune moments, mostly when another girl looked twice at him. And that was actually too bad; there were several nice looking girls there he wouldn't have minded chatting to a bit more.

Bugs' quip of her parading him around like a show poodle had crashed back into his mind and he had angrily pushed it out.

Unfortunately, it had come back repeatedly throughout the night, and having it so roughly shoved in his face wasn't improving his mood.

"Yeah, I'm thinking that some of the others were right," Athena said while looking at him. "You're not as mature as you pretend to be. You don't belong here with us."

"And why's that?" Yakko asked, stiffening slightly at her look.

"You're just a kid, and a boring one at that. You won't even take a sip of the beer," she said, waving her own cup in his face. "Course, you could prove me wrong and then maybe we could, you know, head upstairs?" She added in a warm honeyed tone, using her free hand to begin to stroke his upper thigh.

Yakko felt his face twist in disgust as he batted at her hand to get her off him. Not only were her words disgusting him, so was the smell of the beer on her breath. He didn't even want to kiss her right now, let along go upstairs and do anything. He had earlier; he had tried to put a few moves on her in the car and been shot down quicker than John Dillinger outside the Biograph Theater.

"I don't like beer," he answered simply, hoping to avoid an argument.

"How the hell do you even know?" She asked. "You said yourself you've never drank it."

"I know enough that I don't want to try it."

He didn't; he hadn't even thought about it. Just the smell of the damn stuff brought back an unsettling flood of memories; his mother, his father, the various alleys and buildings that he had spent nights in when they were on the run, having to fight off the other squatters that were drunk and smelled like the bottom of a keg.

He looked at her again, still clutching the cup with her claws half extended and didn't bother hiding the fact that he was annoyed.

"Look, respect my reasons for it. You want to get shitfaced and end up like her," he said, jerking his head toward the white rabbit that was busy chugging another beer while being egged on by her friends. "Be my guest. I'm not going to hold your hair back when you start puking all over the place."

"That's what I get for dating a little kid," Athena muttered, taking a long swallow to finish up her own cup before picking up the one off the floor. "I bring you here and you just embarrass me in front of all my friends. Should have let you sit at home like the loser you are and hang out with the rabbit or the dumpy squirrel."

Yakko brought his fist to his mouth momentarily before he said, "You know, maybe you should have. Can't remember the last time they tried to force feed me beer."

He had a suspicion that they would probably kick his ass if they even got an inkling he was here. Not that he would blame them – Yakko was thinking about kicking his own ass for getting himself into this...

He slumped back on the couch – it was their fault he was here anyway. If they had just backed off he wouldn't have done any of this and he'd probably be at home. Or watching 'Cool Runnings' which right now as horrid as that movie was it would still be better than where he was at.

At least he'd have soda and walnuts.

"Well, if you think you'd have a better time with him you should have said so," Athena said harshly. "I try to bring you out, show you a good time-"

"In case you haven't been paying attention," Yakko drawled, pausing momentarily to push off an extremely drunk human toon who half fell on him. "I'm not having a good time. I haven't had a good time since I stepped foot in this hell hole." Watching the drunk stagger off laughing he added, "Look, just take me home and away from this half-assed Animal House nightmare you call a party. You can come back and get as drunk as you want, I don't care, but I want to leave."

"I'm not leaving," she said, taking another cup that was being shoved at her.

"Fine. Stay, drink yourself into a stupor." Yakko said, standing up. "If it's that important to you I encourage you to stay. I'm outta here."

"Love to see how you do that little boy," Athena laughed. "You realize how far you are from home? Gonna call daddy rabbit to come get you?"

Damn, that was actually a very good question. How the hell was he going to get home?

He had about five dollars on him – nowhere near enough for a cab ride back to the lot. He didn't have any cash at the tower anyway. He really wished the damn bank would give him an ATM card. He hadn't been granted one despite them allowing him to open an account underage with the studio's permission.

"You know what?" He asked. "I'll walk." Taking a few sniffs he decided to get another jab in and added, "The way you've been downing beers I doubt it'd be wise to get in a car with you anyway. I'm not willing to push my luck getting into a second accident."

With that, Yakko turned and began making his way past the party guests, not one of whom seemed to care that he was leaving, including the ones that had been clamoring for autographs and photos just two hours ago.

He had pretty much decided Bugs was right on that – he was just a name to some of these people, a character, nothing more, nothing less. Something to be used when the mood struck them, then ignored, put away when something better came along.

Or they got too drunk to realize he was leaving; Yakko wasn't sure which. But the realization that he was pretty much only a meal ticket to Athena and a novelty to most of the people there was surprisingly hurtful.

He'd deal with that later. He needed to get out of there. He could hear Athena calling him in a pleading whining voice and he definitely didn't want her talking him into staying.

He continued on, at first only saying 'excuse me' or gently budging people out of his way. Since the throng of people was so tight and no one seemed inclined to actually attempt to actually move he finally got annoyed and began pushing them instead. It was crude but effective.

Meanwhile he noticed he was tripping on beer bottles and cigarettes and was reminded of his parents yet again and he swore at himself for letting himself be talked into this. Maybe that whole 'peer pressure' thing wasn't such bullshit after all. He could actually begin to taste a smoky acidic flavor in the back of his mouth from the variety of scents combining in the house. If he didn't get outside he was probably going to throw up himself.

Pushing several boys wearing baseball jerseys out of his way he reached the door, dark brown, battered and dented from too many kicks but it looked like the gateway to Heaven at the moment. Without a thought to the large ostrich toon leaning on the wall behind it Yakko grasped the knob and wretched it open, barely hearing the man swear at him as the door hit him in the face.

Not that Yakko cared; idiot shouldn't be leaning on the wall behind a door if he didn't want to catch it in the beak.

He immediately felt better standing on the dilapidated porch, the cool late wind beating him in the face and ruffling his ears. The air smelled funny, of smoke and urine and rotten trash but it still smelled better than the puke and beer in the party house.

He looked around; he had been trying to pay attention when Athena had driven in. He had a fairly good idea of where he was which was actually quite frightening. He was within two blocks of the border with Clampett district, meaning he was in a real hellhole. Goose lived in this district but from what he could tell it would be a good hour's walk to the other side of the district and he couldn't impose on her at this time of night; it would be rude.

That and he was pretty sure that invalid or not she'd beat him over the head with her oxygen tank for this stunt; she was another one that had said a few rude things about Athena. She had recovered somewhat from her stroke; she was still pretty feeble but she had a good grip and could probably shake the hell out of him if she wished. He already had a pounding headache – that would not improve it any.

He wished he had listened to her, to all of them actually.

OK, no sense in crying over spilt milk.

He hadn't listened because at the time he had thought he was so much smarter than everyone else and he now found himself up the proverbial creek with no paddle. He could handle this; he had before. He just needed to use his head - something he hadn't been doing much lately - and he'd be OK.

He cringed when he heard a car backfire but calmed himself. For Natwick on a Friday night it was relatively quiet; he could remember being caught in the middle of two feuding gangs one time, hunkered down in an alley and trying to shield Wakko and Dot from the violence with his body and praying that a stray bullet wouldn't hit any of them. And that had been on a Tuesday if his memory served him correctly. A car backfiring on a Friday night wasn't exactly anything he needed to be concerned about.

Looking around again he noticed a few panther toons hanging out on the corner, but they didn't seem interested in him. Yakko was interested in them though, mostly concerned that they would try to rob him...

Damn stereotypes. Still, wouldn't hurt to be cautious...

"Yakko wait!"

He sighed when he heard Athena's voice behind him. He had been hoping that if he had that sort of trouble getting through the crowd she would as well. Apparently not as much.

"Come on baby," she cooed, throwing her arms around his neck and trying to kiss him while still holding a cup. "Don't leave, I didn't mean what I said."

"I did," Yakko replied, gently removing her arms from around his neck. "Sorry Athena, but I'm not interested in this. I'm going home."

"You can't leave! Everyone here is watching!" She exclaimed, pointing toward a few of the windows.

Yakko turned to look; she was right. He could see several pairs of eyes watching them through the blinds, and one camera lens peeking out through the louvers.

"How's that going to look?"

"I don't care Athena!" Yakko said loudly, waving his hand toward the open doorway. "Half these people have either been ignoring me or trying to drown me in beer all night. I hardly care what they think of me-"

"What about me than?" Athena said, giving him a push in the chest and sloshing more beer on his jacket. "Don't you care what they think of me?"

"Damn, do you ever think of anything but yourself?" Yakko asked, exasperated. "How about thinking for yourself? Do you care what this bunch thinks of you? Half of them won't even remember being here in the morning!"

"Fuck you Yakko," she said. "These are my friends! I brought you here because-"

"You wanted to show me off," Yakko snapped at her.

"Bullshit!" she said loudly. "Everyone's been great and you're such a stuck up ungrateful bastard-"

"Great?" He asked incredulously. "This place is about as welcoming as the Leatherface residence! And you," he said, pointing a finger at her. "How the hell I missed what you're really like for so long is a mystery. The way you acted with the little girls at the dance, any time we went out, your callous attitude during the bombing…Bugs was right. You're nothing but a selfish conniving gold-digging little bi-"

He cut off as she reached over and slapped him. It had actually surprised him. He was so busy in his little speech he hadn't noticed the ugly look cross her face and her hand shooting over to slap the taste out of his mouth.

Well, after what he had been tasting, he supposed he should be thankful for that.

He'd never wanted to hit a girl before; he never even thought about it. The idea of any man hitting a woman was pretty vile, but damn it at times he could almost understand it.

Now he was more pissed off than he was previously because he was restraining the urge to reach over and slap the hell out of her too. And he wasn't going to let her drive him to that point.

Gingerly he touched his cheek; it stung but it was hardly the worst hit he had ever taken. Thankfully, Athena really did hit like a girl.

"And that's a wrap," he said, putting his hand down before he did something he'd regret. "When you start getting the urge to hit each other, it's a good sign the relationship's gone sour."

"What relationship?" She scoffed. "You were a toy Yakko! You can't honestly think I really cared about you. You were just a means to an end and if I had to sit around that lame ass hare for a few months -"

"Whatever," he muttered.

He turned from her and back toward the window. Pausing for a second he waved at them as they peered at him.

"Goodnight everybody!"

He almost smirked when he heard a few people cheer. Guess there were a few fans in there after all.

"Where the hell you going asshole? Get back here!"

Yakko chose to stay silent for once as she continued to hurl insults and demands at him. He instead kept his back straight as he began to walk down the stairs and out toward the sidewalk.

He shook his head as he passed the rows of cars parked on the dead grass, the street, hell, even a few had parked on the sidewalk, pushing the trashcans over. Apparently he was the only one not anxious to get to this party.

He ignored Athena's demands to return and continued to walk, keeping a wary eye on the panthers, who were now talking to someone who had driven up in a car. Just the local neighborhood pharmacy; he took his usual route. Don't acknowledge them, they wouldn't acknowledge him.

Pushing Athena out of his head he concentrated instead on the bigger worry as he continued to make his way down the sidewalk, passing in and out of the few beams of light coming from the street lamps that weren't broken.

How the hell was he going to get home?

XXXXXXXXXX

Yakko ducked into the dark alley just as the yellow and white car rounded the corner. He hunkered back further as the headlights momentarily flashed over the alley, illuminating the spot where he was standing. Either the TIS guy in the car was blind or stupid because the car didn't stop, just continued down the street and missing him.

He released the breath he had been holding; that was close, and he wasn't being an alarmist. He knew damn well that TIS routinely patrolled Natwick both day and night; if he wasn't careful he was going to be picked up. That was the third TIS car he had ducked in an hour, and he had also had to hide in a doorway for a few moments when a patrol car had passed. And this TIS car had spotted him he was sure; the car had been following him for several blocks, no matter how many fences he jumped or how fast he ran. If nothing else, Darkwing could take pride in the fact that he had apparently been instrumental in training the hunters well.

So far he had been lucky, but his luck was about to run out. He needed to get out of the area quickly.

Sighing he checked out the wall briefly for any debris before leaning back against it for a moment, needing to rest. It was late, he was tired, half lost, frustrated, being tailed, and he could walk the rest of the night and still not be anywhere near the lot. He was in desperate need of a ride and perhaps a friendly ear.

But mostly a ride; he could find a friendly ear later.

He wasn't sure who though; he had sort of alienated his usual group of listeners. Once Slappy figured out he lied to her face he was pretty sure the squirrel wouldn't ever speak to him again. She was about as fond of liars as he was.

He had told Bugs to piss off; actually he had said something far worse, so the rabbit wasn't an option to call or talk to. That was a relief; no way Yakko could face the rabbit right now. And he sure wouldn't tell the rabbit he was right, if for no other reason than he was but damned if Yakko wanted to admit that to him.

He supposed Kit would be sympathetic, but the bear didn't get real close to his girlfriends. Kit was more of a 'hump em and dump em' guy. He would sympathize that Yakko had been made a fool of and that he was lost in a ghetto in the middle of the night. He wouldn't understand the actual feeling of hurt; his advice would no doubt be 'find another girl and forget the scheming slut'. Yakko liked Kit, he was a close friend, his only real friend that was his age, but damn the cub was scatterbrained. He tried but sometimes his advice wasn't very sound.

And unfortunately Kit also didn't have a license so he couldn't help him right now anyway; he needed a ride, not a shoulder to cry on.

Yakko squatted down in the alley, weighing his options. He would get nowhere panicking or cursing himself for acting like an idiot. He could do that later, when he would also analyze his own feelings on what had happened tonight. He needed a plan and he tried to think of one as he jingled the few coins he had in his pocket.

First, he needed to make sure he stayed out of sight. He could not get picked up by TIS or the police.

He could just imagine Plotz if he got picked up. Hell, he could imagine Plotz if he found out Yakko had snuck off the lot. No matter how much he yelled about what his siblings had done, the man usually treated him like an adult. An adult he didn't like much true, but he usually spoke to him like he had some semblance of a brain in his head. Yakko had a feeling that would change if Plotz found out where he was; he actually wouldn't blame him. He was questioning his own intelligence himself.

He needed to get a ride home and Athena was obviously not an option. He mentally went down the list of chaperones that he could call, immediately scratching Mr. Plotz off. He'd hitchhike before he went that route.

Dr. Scratchandsniff would no doubt come get him but the odds were that he would let Plotz know about the unsupervised tour of Natwick. Yakko scratched him off as well. He needed someone a bit more discreet.

Mr. Bunny likely wouldn't say anything to Plotz, but Yakko had a feeling he'd lose the man's trust. Like most of the other adults he dealt with Mr. Bunny usually treated him as an equal, almost. He'd never had any problem letting Buster stay at the tower; the man had said before he trusted Yakko and his judgment enough to hand over the most important thing in his life. Worse case he'd probably be leery of letting his son stay the weekend on occasion which would crush Wakko.

Not to mention his brother and the other little boys were over at the Bunny residence. Mr. Bunny would have to haul them all out of bed and bring them with him which would not only be a pain, but Yakko would be embarrassed about that. And it would go back to Wakko listening to him even less than usual; why should he bother to listen to Yakko and obey the rules if he didn't bother himself? And of course there was the whole 'role model' thing – the smaller boys caused enough trouble as it was, Did he really want to encourage them by seeing him out in this situation?

Sighing, Yakko scratched Mr. Bunny off his short mental list along with Slappy. Not only did she have Skippy at home and in bed, she'd no doubt be pissed. Yakko had a pretty damn good feeling Slappy knew she had been lied to, then she'd be mad about him being out. He definitely wasn't in the mood for even a threat of having a bomb put down his pants and he'd heard some of the lectures she had given. He definitely wasn't in the mood for one of those though no matter who picked him up, they were probably going to chew him a new one.

Porky or Foghorn would run to grab him, he knew that. Both of them went out of their way to help them - all of them actually. They were the first to step up and take Wakko and Dot into their homes when he had been indisposed. Neither of them had even given a second thought to the fact that they weren't used to having to deal with a child in their house for an extended period of time.

True, Foghorn was well used to children having worked with both Henry Hawk and Egghead Junior through most of his career, then with most of the cast of 'Tiny Toons'.

Porky had several nieces and nephews along with the Tiny Toon cast. Dealing with them for a few hours was a far cry from having to deal with them constantly for weeks or months. But neither of them had uttered a single complaint. But neither of them had uttered a single complaint.

Well Foghorn had said Wakko was probably one of the wildest boys he'd ever come across, but he said that mostly as a compliment and Yakko had to admit it was the truth. Wakko had run the poor guy ragged.

Porky was a bit of a wild card. He wouldn't tell Plotz Yakko was sure, but again, he'd no doubt be angry, and honestly, Yakko didn't want to lose the pig's respect any more than any one of the others. Yakko had never experienced a lecture from Porky but Dot had on the rare occasion she had actually angered him. She said he stuttered even worse when he got angry and he could be surprisingly cutting when he was cross. But Dot's biggest crime had been trying to ride a horse when she wasn't allowed; after that the most she had ever done was not complete an assignment.

Foghorn would probably be the most sympathetic of the chaperones, but Yakko didn't want to call him. Wakko had experienced countless lectures from the rooster – all well deserved – but he had said Foghorn was absolutely ruthless.

What was ruthless to a ten year old and what Yakko would consider ruthless were probably two vastly different things, but still, he simply wasn't in the mood for a booming lecture from the rooster.

But he had reached the end of the list as far as chaperones went. There just wasn't anyone else. Well, one, but no way he was going to swallow his pride enough and call him. He'd sit in the alley for the rest of his life before he made that call.

No he wouldn't; if nothing else he was no coward.

He sighed; no matter how much he tried to deny it, the one he really needed to call was Bugs. Always back to the damn rabbit.

Yakko ran his hand through his hair; he had been horrible to him and the guy, while pushy, had been trying to help and he had been absolutely correct. At the very least he should call and apologize; he owed the rabbit that. Maybe if he apologized and begged enough Bugs would consent to come down and pick him up at least. Yakko would even offer to pay for the gas if he would wait until Monday.

Probably have to do a lot of ass kissing though. And a lot of listening to 'I told you so' – Bugs loved to say that. Maybe Bugs wouldn't say anything…

Yeah right. The rabbit ran his mouth as much as he did. Bugs would talk about this till the sun burned out.

He really didn't want to do this; Bugs was still mad at him. Or at least 'upset'. Yakko would be very surprised if Bugs would even agree to come get him.

That wasn't fair; Bugs had never refused to help when asked; even if he wasn't asked he was usually the first that jumped in to offer assistance. Bugs would come get him but he definitely wouldn't be pleasant company.

Fine, he didn't need a friend, he needed transportation. And this was Yakko's fault anyway; he was the one that had told Bugs to keep their relationship at teacher and student. The rabbit couldn't be held at fault for that, though secretly Yakko wished he had kept his mouth shut that day. Right now he could actually use the rabbit's advice.

Taking another sigh and then a deep breath Yakko nodded to himself. Bugs was the best option; the only one really. If the rabbit would even listen to him.

Hesitantly peeking out of the alley he looked around the street feeling like a complete idiot. No one was in sight; not TIS, not that nutcase Athena, not even anyone staggering out of the bar across the street. For a Friday night in Natwick it was pretty damn dead.

That worked out in his favor. Spying a payphone across the street he eyed it for a second, not looking forward to making the call before he steeled his nerves and walked toward it. He messed up, he needed help, and he wasn't going to get it sitting in the alley feeling sorry for himself.

He had told both his siblings that if you screwed up you needed to apologize; that seemed a lot easier to say than do sometimes. He'd have to remember that the next time one of them screwed up that badly. Giving the lecture and actually doing it were completely different.

Digging in his pocket he pulled out the change and realized it was simply a few pennies, not enough for a call.

Damn it. Now not only would he have to call Bugs to come pick him up in Natwick – off lot – at one-thirty in the morning and smelling like he just drank a twelve pack single handily, he was going to have to call him collect too.

Maybe he should have offered to let Athena eat his heart. It would be less painful and embarrassing than having to make this call.

He had thought he would never be more humiliated in his life than when he was on 'Baloney and Friends' – that was a dream compared to this.

He continued to stare at the phone for a few seconds, wishing he was anywhere else than right there. Why was he feeling like this?

Bugs wasn't his father, he wasn't his guardian, he wasn't technically in charge of him. The studio was though the executives had pretty much handed authority on decisions regarding them to Bugs; Yakko had checked on that.

But that still didn't mean that Bugs had any right to judge him.

He was his own man; he was more than capable of making his own decisions or go where he wanted to go or hang out with whoever he wanted. Bugs should just drive him where he wanted to go if he wanted to actually have the title of authority figure for the Warners. Bugs was his tutor, nothing more.

So why the hell did he feel so damn guilty right now?

He faced homelessness, stage fright, almost being hauled off to jail, car wrecks, squatters, hunger, earthquakes, and the constant fear of losing his siblings. Now he was standing in a smelly trash lined street worried about making a phone call.

He glanced down at his watch; the rabbit was going to be livid with him just for calling him at this time of night. Probably worried about his rep or the studio's rep if he figured out where he was or what he had been doing-

And he hadn't even done anything. It wasn't like he had been drinking. He wasn't out snorting Twink. He hadn't done anything wrong; he was acting like a normal kid right?

So why was he so worried?

Because Bugs had been right and Yakko had just about thrown their friendship in his face before telling him to go fly a kite. If Bugs yelled at him or declined to talk to him or even hung up on him he couldn't even get that mad at him. No matter the rabbit's methods, he had been correct.

Sighing, Yakko reached out and grasped the receiver of the phone, almost letting it go like it burned him. He really didn't want to do this.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he hit the zero button and sharply gave the operator his name and Bugs' number, happy he had it memorized. He grew more worried when the rabbit didn't answer the phone. Either he was in a very deep sleep or he was out himself and would probably be even less inclined to come pick up his mouthy student. Or he had refused the call.

The snooty-sounding operator came back on to inform him there was no answer and Yakko ran his hand through his hair. At least Bugs hadn't rejected the call. Swallowing, he gave the woman Bugs' cell phone, hoping the rabbit would at least answer it.

The line went silent for several seconds and he held his breath as they ticked by. This was taking longer than the home phone.

Nervous and more upset than he wanted to let on he was getting ready to hang up the phone and slink back to the alley. He had to try to figure out a plan B when he heard Bugs' voice shoot at him, startling him enough he almost dropped the receiver.

"Yakko? You there doc?"

"Yeah Bugs, yeah I'm here-"

"Why are you calling me collect at one-thirty in the morning?" Bugs demanded loudly.

Yakko momentarily pulled the receiver back from his ear at the yell. Bugs sounded like he was at a party if the noise coming from behind him was any indication. Yakko hoped that Bugs was hollering just so he could be heard over the racket.

"Well, you see I-"

"Did something happen? Are you OK? Where are you because this sure ain't your number."

Waiting for Bugs to stop demanding answers from him, Yakko finally decided to interrupt the barrage of questions and speak. If he didn't he'd be on the phone till sunup.

"Um…I need a ride. Badly."

"Ride? Where are you? What did you do?"

Taking a breath Yakko cut the rabbit off and quickly filled him in on portions of the situation. Yakko decided to leave out large gaps of information, such as how he had foolishly decided to actually accompany her to a party. Or how for the last hour or so he had been wandering Natwick near Clampett while being chased by a TIS car. And how he had spent another fifteen minutes fighting with himself in an alley before swallowing his pride and calling Bugs, but he was still cringing in embarrassment. He had said enough that Bugs no doubt thought he had a total idiot for a student at this point. He fully expected Bugs to officially resign as his tutor come Monday.

"Look, I know I screwed up and I know you want an apology. I won't even blame you if you don't want to come get me, but…" Trailing off for a moment Yakko took a deep breath before muttering, "I'm stuck, I need a ride home. I don't have any money and I didn't know who else to call and-"

"Later doc later," Bugs' voice shot back through the phone. "Where are you?"

"Natwick."

"Big district Yakko," Bugs snapped at him. "Where are you at right now? You see a sign, address on the phone, local store, anything?"

Frowning Yakko glanced at the phone, not seeing any identifying information. The bar down the street simply had a blue neon sign that said 'bar' so there wasn't a wealth of information there either. Most of the buildings around him were abandoned. He finally squinted at the street sign, still partially visible despite several of the lights not working, but it was simply too far away for even his sharp eyes to pick up the words.

"Hold on I need to go look at-"

"Damn it Yakko don't get off the phone," Bugs warned.

"I need to look at the sign!" Yakko snapped. "You're not going to do me a lot of good if you can't even find me."

"Oh, so sorry," Bugs said in a harsh drawling voice... "I forgot I'm doing you a favor, so of course you call all the shots and make demands. Please, what was I thinking?"

Yeah, probably not the best way to phrase that.

"Don't get smart with me right now doc," Bugs added in a voice that was almost a growl. "I'm none too pleased with you at the moment."

_No shit._

Yakko winced at Bugs' tone while the rabbit asked someone behind him if he had a map around.

In what he hoped was a more reasonable tone Yakko said, "Look, I can't see the sign at the end of the street. Since I'm so far away I need to go-"

"So Fritz a pair of binoculars and look at it! I know I taught you that much at least."

_Why the hell didn't I think of that?_

Annoyed with himself, Yakko did as he was instructed, cradling the phone on his shoulder while holding the instrument to his eyes. Adjusting the central focusing wheel he was finally able to make out the words on the faded street sign.

"I'm at the corner of Oxberry de Camera and Peg-Bar Lane."

"I'm already in the car," Bugs said as Yakko could hear papers rattling before the car's engine started. "Stay on the phone with me until I get down there and-"

Yakko looked up and saw an unwelcome sight; a police car... He could see the street light reflecting off the bar on top.

Damn it could this night get any worse? He briefly hoped that the car would pass and he could just blend in to the phone booth but the car, which had been going slowly to begin with began to slow even more...

He better hide.

"I can't Bugs – cops," Yakko said, wincing at the panicked sound of his voice. "Look I'm going-"

"Yakko Warner don't you dare hang up that phone!" Bugs yelled before he muttered, "Swear when I get down there I'm going to-"

Not much caring what Bugs planned on doing when he got down there Yakko slammed down the receiver in the cradle, cutting the rabbit off. Casting a terrified glance at the vehicle he dashed into the alley, keeping to the shadows and hoping the cop hadn't just spotted him since it would be pretty obvious to anyone that he was not supposed to be there.

Moving so quickly he almost fell he dashed behind an overflowing dumpster. Nervous, he held his breath and peered from around it, staying low to the ground and with his leg muscles tensed, ready to run if need be. Looking behind him he noticed the alley was a dead end and he silently swore at himself; living on the lot had made him too trusting and complacent. He knew better than to get trapped in a dead end alley; you always looked before you went in. And that just wasn't good advice living on the street; that applied to anything.

He was such a moron. OK, if need be he could fight – and of course get charged with assaulting an officer. Wow, he was screwed.

The cop car pulled up next to the phone. He didn't get out, but the car sat there with the officer sitting in the idling vehicle...

Yakko watched the car from his hiding place, wondering what the officer was doing. He wasn't getting out of the car, but he wasn't leaving either.

After several minutes, Yakko shifted back so he was sitting on his heels and tried to ignore whatever the wet sticky substance he was currently crouching in and thought about his current predicament.

Bugs sounded annoyed. No, he actually sounded furious, one of the very first times Yakko had ever heard that from Bugs. Usually the most he could say he heard from the rabbit was 'highly irritated'. Even that day they had fought Bugs hadn't been what Yakko would call 'angry'. Frustrated, condescending, annoyed, pushy, yes, but he hadn't sounded quite as ticked off as he did on the phone.

From the noise going on behind him Bugs was being pulled away from a really smashing party. Well, at least someone had 'a damn good time' tonight. But, Yakko had to admit if he was being pulled away from something that would qualify as 'a damn good time' because one of his idiot students had gotten themselves into a jam and chose him out of all the people he could have called to bother, he'd probably be pissed too.

After what seemed like an eternity Yakko heard the cop car roll off. Hesitantly he watched him go before standing, stretching out his legs and tail. He briefly thought about going back to the payphone and calling Bugs again but decided against it. The rabbit was already ticked off at him, Yakko hoped that he wasn't pissed off enough that when he hung up on him he changed his mind and went back to whatever it was he had been doing.

Creeping to the end of the alley to watch the street, Yakko decided he'd wait a few more minutes. While the walk was unreal the distance wouldn't be too great by car, and there wasn't exactly going to be traffic jams in this area of town at one-thirty in the morning, even if he didn't know where Bugs was coming from. If the rabbit wasn't there in another few minutes, it either meant he got lost or he wasn't coming.

Yakko was torn on that; half of him hoped that Bugs decided not to come. Just talking to the rabbit had been humiliating enough and he had been on the phone with him less than three minutes. That had been long enough for Yakko to feel like a small kid busted with his hand in the cookie jar.

The other half of him was desperately hoping that Bugs was still coming, even if he was mad as hell at him. Better to have the fuming rabbit there and knowing he was going home than to squat in a filthy alley and try to figure out what to do. He supposed he'd probably have to call Foghorn next and see…

He crept further back in the alley as he saw the TIS car come around the corner again and heart hammering in fear he tried not to move much. What very little light was coming from the streetlamps would reflect off his face fur and gloves and he didn't want to give the TIS employee any hint he was in the area.

As the car rolled down the street Yakko rested his forehead on the rough brick wall for a moment, wondering if he should call Foghorn. Bugs wasn't coming and he couldn't blame him -

He started and turned his head quickly as a car squealed around the corner. The car quickly hit the brakes and began to move slower down the deserted street and Yakko saw with no small amount of joy it was a familiar red. Bugs had decided to show after all.

With a deep sense of foreboding, Yakko watched the vehicle slowly roll down the street toward him. Taking a deep breath he told himself to calm down; he was acting like he was more nervous about seeing Bugs than he was about the TIS car following him. He stepped out of the alley to stand in the single beam of bright lamplight shining on the cracked sidewalk so the rabbit could see him.

After a moment the car pulled over to the curb, the tires crunching in the broken bottles and litter lining the side of the street before coming to a stop. The driver's side door opened and Bugs half stood out of the idling vehicle. Yakko ran his hand through his hair before he began to walk toward the vehicle, fighting the urge to run toward it and throw himself on the glaring rabbit. It was nice to see a friendly face, even if the look on that face was one of annoyance, concern and anger.

Bugs might be pissed about having his night ending early but at least he'd come.

Yakko could feel Bugs' eyes looking him up and down as if he was appraising his value and he flushed under his fur at the rabbit's intense analyzing. He probably looked pretty wretched at the moment. Sniffing he figured he smelled it too; the beer Athena had sloshed on him and whatever he had been crouching in back in the alley was a pungent combination.

Bugs continued to stare at him as he reached the car and not meeting his eyes Yakko opened the door before sliding in. He was mortified he had to call anyone because he got himself in this situation and angry that out of all the people he could call he had to call Bugs. He was also almost weak kneed with relief that he was now sitting in the BMW's worn but comfortingly familiar black leather seats.

Bugs sat back down, not even looking at him before putting the vehicle into drive and carefully pulling away from the curb.

Yakko fidgeted for a moment before deciding to look out the window, taking in this section of Natwick that just a few minutes ago he had been running through trying to stay out of sight. He swore he'd never come to any of the ghettos again but yet here he was. And unlike before, when he was used to being out on the street, this time he had to call someone to come save his sorry ass because not only did he not bother to listen to anything anyone told him, he wasn't able to even get himself out of a situation he had actually put himself in.

Not liking the view any he glanced over at Bugs; the rabbit was staring straight out through the windshield, his face half hidden in the shadows. Yakko could make out enough of his face though to tell he wasn't happy. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was a hard flat line as his two huge front teeth bit his lip like he was trying to refrain from speaking. Meanwhile he was gripping the steering wheel.

Yakko felt rather than saw Bugs look at him briefly when a TIS car passed them in the oncoming lane. He refused to look at the rabbit, just kept gazing out the window, happy to see the sign saying they had left Natwick and had entered Foulfellow District.

He was about to speak, say he was sorry or ask how the rabbit was doing, anything to kill the oppressing silence in the car when Bugs' phone rang, startling them both. Bugs began to mutter under his breath as he freed one hand from the wheel to dig in the door pocket for the phone, never taking his eyes off the road.

Yakko looked back out through the windshield, trying to not listen to the conversation but unable to really avoid it.

"Hey Foggy…No, I'm not coming back."

Bugs paused for a moment and Yakko finally turned to look at him, hearing Foghorn's boisterous voice booming out of the phone. Bugs briefly cut his eyes toward him and gave him a glare before he continued speaking. Yakko was almost surprised that Bugs was talking on the phone; he rarely spoke on the phone while driving.

"Let's just say something came up and leave it at that doc…No, I'm fine, really," he said, holding the small device on his shoulder with his chin as he put both hands back on the wheel. "Thanks though…Look, do me a favor would ya? Tell that dame that something came up and cash out my chips for me …Yeah yeah you're a laugh riot…Thanks doc, I'm just tired and I think I've got a long night ahead…No, no, seriously it's not like that…I'm heading home."

As he listened to the conversation Yakko slumped in his seat, feeling a bit guilty. Bugs apparently had been having a 'damn good time' and due to his student's stupidity he was called away from it. By the time he got him back to the lot it would be so late it could qualify as being early.

Watching Bugs hang up the phone and put it in his Hammerspace, Yakko muttered 'sorry', not sure if that would be sufficient. Sure, 'sorry' could cover a lot of things, like eating the last piece of pie and not checking if someone else wanted it but this was a more massive screw up.

Maybe 'I'm really sorry' would do the trick.

Deciding that he should probably try to say something Yakko quietly said, "Thanks for coming to get me. Ehhhhh, sorry it's so late."

He honestly hoped the apology would be enough and the rabbit would say something, anything, to break the uncomfortable tension in the car, even if he just muttered 'you're welcome' or 'shut up doc'. Yakko would settle for him turning on the radio; that would at least give him something to listen to besides the car's engine and help him try to get his own scattered thoughts in order. He'd rather Bugs talk even if it was with a certain amount of dread at what the rabbit would probably say.

After a few seconds Yakko glanced over at Bugs. The rabbit was still silently staring at the road ahead of him as he pulled up to a light, drumming the fingers of his right hand on the steering wheel.

"Fine, don't say anything," Yakko muttered after a minute before he slumped down in the seat further. He crossed his arms and glared out the window before he added quietly, "Before you couldn't wait to open your mouth. Now you clam up like-"

"Oh, now you want me to talk?" Bugs asked, finally removing his eyes from the road long enough to look at him. "Last I heard from you I didn't understand anything and you knew everything and didn't need any help from little ole me. I was just the tutor and taxi service."

Yakko cut his eyes at Bugs before looking out the window, annoyed the rabbit was throwing his own words back in his face.

"Fine, you were right, congratulations," Yakko muttered sarcastically. "Happy?"

"No I'm not for a variety of reasons, the first being your attitude!" Bugs snapped at him. "You call me at this time of night getting lippy with me-"

"I wasn't getting lippy," Yakko said quietly, annoyed that Bugs was starting right out the gate with a lecture.

"- and then you're telling me to come get you because you went off lot like I knew you-"

"Oh yeah?" Yakko asked, feeling a stab of annoyance shoot through him. "How'd you know that?"

"You think Slappy didn't see right through that load of malarkey you dumped in her lap earlier?" Bugs asked snidely. "She called me as soon as she got off the phone with you. And we had a feeling but damn it I talked her out of checking. Said I thought it sounded fishy but we could trust you enough to make the right choice and-"

"I didn't have any choice!" Yakko yelled as he turned toward the rabbit and pointed a finger at him. "That's great to know, you two sitting around discussing me like some troublemaker!" Crossing his arms again he returned to looking out the window, wondering why they had just passed another customs checkpoint to exit ToonTown. "Besides, this is your fault! If you hadn't been so adamant about proving you were right and keeping me stuck on the-"

"Don't you dare blame this on me!" Bugs yelled, slamming his hands on the wheel while glaring at him.

Yakko cut off and turned to stare at the rabbit in shock. For as long as he had known Bugs this was actually the first time he had heard him yell. He had raised his voice on occasion but he never actually yelled, and certainly not at him. He felt his fur bristling though; Bugs was apparently in the mood for a fight.

Bugs seemed surprised too because he took a deep breath before continuing.

"You've got a lot of nerve doc," Bugs said after a moment in a much calmer voice. "You talk about how you're so mature and we're all crimping your style or whatever slang you kids have now a days -"

"I never said you were crimping my style," Yakko mumbled. "I said you were a nosy pain in my -"

"So I finally back off-"

"Yeah, after I made you," Yakko said quietly.

"No, at that point I decided you'd just have to see for yourself. You weren't listening to anything I was saying -"

"I always heard you," Yakko insisted. "Hard not to because you don't do anything but nag and -"

"Oh, you heard me," Bugs drawled. "But you weren't listening to me. Now I wonder if you ever did at all, especially after this latest stunt. I'm actually stunned with this latest show of just how irresponsible and immature you are. Then you get defensive because some of us actually worry about you -"

"I'm not defensive!" Yakko said. "You just said…" Tired, frustrated, and annoyed because the rabbit was right Yakko turned to look back out the window and muttered, "Forget it."

"No way doc; I finally got you talking," Bugs said. "So talk. Told you before I'm all ears; have I ever not listened to you?"

"Yeah, for the last six months," Yakko said. "And I don't want to talk."

"That's a first."

"Look, give me whatever lecture you want Monday, I'll sit through it and not say a word," Yakko said. "Right now just take me home; that's why I called you."

"No."

_The hell?_

"Look, you don't want to drive to the lot I understand," Yakko said, feeling his own temper rising as Bugs seemed to be cooling off. "Just loan me twenty bucks for a cab, I'll give it to you Monday."

"It's not that I don't feel like loaning you twenty bucks or driving to the lot. It's because right now I don't trust you to actually stay there."

Yakko had been kicked a few times in the stomach, like when he was play wrestling with Wakko or if he picked Dot up and she accidentally swung her leg forward. He sort of felt like that now.

He sat up straighter in the seat, angry, but more hurt. Bugs might be furious at him but he never thought he'd hear Bugs say those words to him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yakko said quietly.

"Why should I? No way I'm letting you out of my sight!"

"Oh this is a load of crap," Yakko said. "You don't want to drive to the lot fine, you don't want to get me a cab I'll walk - "

"Brilliant doc," Bugs said. "You think you can avoid the TIS cars or did you think I didn't see them?"

Actually, he had been so relieved to be in the vehicle with Bugs no matter how angry he was Yakko had forgotten about them.

"Damn it Yakko you know what can happen! Out of the three of you I figured you'd be the most mature and actually not break that rule. At least when your brother left he had the excuse of being younger and being caught up in a moment of group insanity with the other maroons! You though - " Bugs gave a dry chuckle before saying, "You know what? I'm not talking about this any more tonight. I'm taking you back to my place for now; I'll deal with you in the morning."

"Sounds rather ominous," Yakko muttered as Bugs returned to glaring out the windshield. "Suppose I should be thankful you're a late riser on the weekends."

"Like I'll get any sleep."

"So take me to the lot and you won't have to worry about dealing with me," Yakko responded.

Normally he liked spending time at the rabbit's house. But normally he and Bugs weren't at each other's throats either.

"Forget it doc, I'm not letting you out of my sight," he repeated. Sniffing, Bugs added, "New topic - is that beer I'm smelling? What did you do? Where you drinking?" He demanded. "After all that talk about your -"

"I wasn't drinking Bugs - "

"Right – you've proven to be so trustworthy in the past twenty-four hours. And where is this girl? She could have -"

"Don't worry about it," Yakko said, slouching further down in the seat and pulling his jacket tighter around him. "You don't trust me remember? So why should I tell you?"

"How about because I asked?"

Yakko cut his eyes toward Bugs before turning to look back out the window, not wanting to talk about it, not right now. As angry and frustrated as he was, he was also experiencing another emotion, not one he usually associated with the rabbit; hurt.

Bugs had been right; Athena was using him. Everyone had been right.

Having never experienced that before, Yakko tried to come to grips with that. She hadn't probably cared at all about him, simply his name and what that could do for her, be it help her become a star or get her face on a magazine cover or just make her more interesting to her friends for a few hours at a party.

He wondered if she had actually cared about anything he had told her; about his parents, his siblings, his own thoughts of the future, his own worries and dreams and desires. Thinking back on it he mostly remembered her giving dull, lifeless 'uh huh' responses whenever they had talked about something that was important to him. If it was about her though he remembered the conversations being more in depth and lively.

He wished Bugs would calm down; more than anything he actually did want to talk to the rabbit. He didn't expect Bugs to make it all better; he was well beyond the age where he expected someone to come in and make all his problems disappear. The world was rough, whether you were a king or just some dumb kid who got played.

But talking to Bugs usually made him feel better. He trusted the rabbit; usually no matter what problem he took to him Bugs tried to help, even if it was just a sympathetic ear to listen while he ranted.

This time though Bugs didn't seem inclined to do much except yell and lecture on what he should have done or how he messed up and accusing him of lying to him. Bugs knew how he felt about drinking.

"Are you even listening to me doc? Hello? Am I talking to myself here?"

Annoyed with himself for wanting to beg for Bugs' forgiveness and not even being able to cough up an apology Yakko instead returned to looking out the window.

"Fine, be a spoiled brat," Bugs said darkly while tightening his grip on the wheel. "That's what I get for trying to have a conversation with some immature kid."

Yakko chose to ignore the comment and stay quiet, mostly because he was afraid of making the unpleasant situation even worse. As angry and hurt as he was, he had to concede that Bugs had a point. He was acting like a brat. He sighed quietly to himself; his mouth just moved faster than his brain sometimes.

He really wished Bugs would just take him home. If the rabbit was this pissy now, he was going to be a holy terror come morning.

On the bright side, Bugs hadn't said 'told ya so'...

XXXXXXXXXX

_Where -_

_Damn._

Yakko jerked awake, having half dozed off on the large bed. Blinking his eyes he rolled over, relishing having the extra room that a queen sized bed provided. Staring up he also enjoyed seeing sunlight instead of absolute darkness with just a speck of light coming from a nightlight. The best sight of all though was being able to stare up at a ceiling above him and not the bottom of another bed.

Of course not seeing the bottom of Wakko's bunk meant that the previous night's adventure had not been a bad dream and he was indeed still at Bugs' house.

Sighing he turned to look over at the alarm clock by the bed. He knew exactly where it was; prior to his alienating one of his best friends and advisors he had been a frequent and welcome guest in this house.

Now though the rabbit was barely speaking to him in more than a monotone voice.

After their loud but blessedly brief conversation in the car, both he and Bugs had fallen silent on the ride to the hare's house. Upon arriving Bugs had simply stated that Yakko knew where everything was, including the room he always stayed in. Bugs announced he was going to bed and he sincerely hoped that he could trust Yakko enough to still be there come morning. He didn't want to have to lock him in the room.

With that parting shot Bugs had disappeared up the long staircase that led to the second floor of his house and left Yakko standing in the half darkened foyer.

Yakko sighed, remembering how much that had stung. For a second he had clenched his fists, almost stomping up the stairs after Bugs to begin yet another fight. After a moment he stopped himself and just stood there, hanging his head, resigned and ashamed of himself.

He'd messed up badly and apparently Bugs was never going to let him forget it. And Yakko was angry at himself; rather than admitting he royally screwed up in the car he basically went and verbally attacked Bugs again, getting his own ass chewed out pretty thoroughly.

And he still hadn't offered Bugs an apology.

Not that the rabbit had tripped over himself to offer up one either.

After a few minutes of feeling sorry for himself Yakko had quietly trudged up the stairs in the dark, almost as familiar with this house as he was his own. Padding down the hallway, he tried to be silent lest he bring down the further wrath of the rabbit upon his head. When he had finally reached 'his' bedroom he had flung himself down on the cobalt and white bedspread and tried to figure out what he should do.

He had no intention of leaving the house; he was angry but he wasn't a complete idiot despite what he had done. He doubted Bugs would actually lock him in the room, though Yakko wasn't going to actually push him either.

Yakko assumed that at some point during his musings of how to calm Bugs down so that he would take him home he must have fallen asleep. Rolling over to look at the clock he saw it was only eight-forty-two so he hadn't fallen asleep for too long.

With a sigh he decided he may as well get up; he likely wouldn't get any more sleep despite how exhausted he felt. As he began moving, he let out a low groan at the various aches and pains that radiated through his feet and legs. The constant running and jumping during his heart pounding jaunt through half of Natwick was catching up with him.

Rotating his shoulders to work out the kinks he wrinkled his nose; if he felt bad he smelled worse. The unknown substance from last night and the spilled beer had soured. Yakko cast a look at the jacket he had fallen asleep in, hoping that the cleaners could get the smell out.

Wishing he had a change of clothing with him or had at least had the foresight to leave an outfit in the bedroom Yakko briefly scratched his head, trying to wake up. Part of him wished he could fall asleep and stay that way. If he hadn't been looking forward to making the telephone call to Bugs, he was looking forward to dealing with him today even less.

No matter how much he was dreading it though, he couldn't hide in the bedroom forever. At some point he would have to face Bugs, sit down, probably listen to him rant and rave and hopefully at some point the rabbit's anger would die down and he could convince him to drive him back to the lot. Hopefully he wouldn't hold him prisoner in the house for too long.

He knew the rabbit was devious at times; he never considered him petty.

And he wasn't even being fair; the rabbit had valid points. And some of the things Yakko had said to him were terrible; he knew he had wounded the bunny a few times. Even if Bugs drove him to the lot today and decided he would prefer not to tutor him again, Yakko felt he still owed him an apology.

Sighing he walked toward the door, hoping that since it was still early the rabbit would be asleep. He could at least get something to drink before having to talk to him.

Cracking open the door and going down the stairs Yakko noticed that Bugs' door at the end of the hallway was closed. He secretly hoped that meant he was still asleep and with a bit more confidence he walked toward the kitchen, content. He could get something to eat. Maybe it would help quell some of the butterflies in his stomach he was experiencing at the mere thought of having to talk to Bugs later when the rabbit -

Walking in he stopped in his tracks, seeing Bugs sitting at the large oak table, reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. When the rabbit lowered the paper long enough to look in his eyes Yakko stifled a groan; not even totally inside the kitchen and he was going to start.

Bracing for another attack from him, Yakko instead watched in surprise as Bugs simply gazed at him for a second. Then he raised the paper to cover his face with just his ears sticking up over the top of it like a couple of antenna and continued to read.

Unsure of what to do Yakko stood in the doorway for a moment, wondering how someone could be so far away while still being in the same room before Bugs spoke.

"There's Eggo in the freezer if you want."

"Ehhhhhh, thanks."

Going to the freezer Yakko yanked it open and looked in, moving various foodstuffs out of the way. He saw the chocolate chip waffles left over from the last time Wakko and Dot where there and wrinkled his nose. Who on earth dreamed up chocolate chip waffles and why anyone would want to eat them was beyond his reasoning.

Must be a kid thing.

Spotting a half opened package of buttermilk ones and thinking that would be the more palatable of the two he grabbed them instead. Tossing two of the rock hard things in the toaster he awkwardly leaned against the counter to look out the window.

"I'm glad you called me."

Startled, Yakko turned around to look at Bugs who had lowered his paper and was now watching him.

"I'm disappointed you had to call me; you know better than to do any of that stuff doc. I expected more of you. But I'm glad you felt you could call me."

Well, it was a start.

"Look, Bugs," Yakko started to say and stopped, running a hand through his hair as he tried to collect his own thoughts. After a few seconds he said, "Last night, even before, some of the things I said - "

"I'll get to that in a minute," Bugs said, talking over him and gesturing for him to get his food and sit down. "Some of the things I said, especially last night, were out of line. You didn't deserve it and I didn't mean some of it."

"Just some?" Yakko asked.

"Oh, you messed up – don't doubt that," Bugs said, narrowing his eyes briefly at him. "What you did was immature, selfish, irresponsible but…" He trailed off for a second before sighing. "I could have handled this a bit better, the whole thing actually."

Part of Yakko wanted to say 'oh you think?' at that statement.

Another part of him wanted to say that if he hadn't been such a stubborn ass and actually listened one of the times that Bugs had tried talking to him none of this would have happened.

A third part was cringing in embarrassment; he had been selfish and immature and having that slapped in his face was humiliating.

Not to mention Bugs said he was disappointed in him. Deep down Yakko knew he would be; he was supposed to be the responsible mature one and hearing Bugs say it out loud was painful.

Sometimes it was hard being the oldest. Everyone expected you to have your act together.

Yakko could admit that most times he didn't feel like he had anything together. In all honesty half the time he was confused about what to cook for dinner.

When did life get so complicated?

Not sure what the best route to take would be, Yakko again decided the wisest course of action would be to say nothing and let Bugs guide the conversation.

"I don't have lots of experience with this; think I dropped the ball. When you called last night…"

Bugs broke off and Yakko watched as he got up and went to the refrigerator and grabbed a carrot. Yakko forked a piece of waffle in his mouth and thoughtfully chewed as he waited.

Grabbing a carrot was a nervous habit of Bugs'; the rabbit had told him so ages ago. Whenever he needed to calm down, or try to think about something, or even if he forgot a line - especially when he was first starting out in show business - he would grab a carrot and begin to munch on it while he thought. He frequently carried around several in his Hammerspace.

Yakko choked back a grimace though; coffee and carrots sounded like a dreadful combination he didn't care how much thinking the rabbit had to do.

"Do you have any idea how I felt when you called?" Bugs finally asked when he had gnawed his way threw half the vegetable. "Going on two in the morning and I've got a fourteen year old running around a ghetto, cops, TIS, street thugs and who knows what else out there…I'm not trying to be overly dramatic doc but you scared the hell out of me." Shaking his head he added, "When I got down there, saw you come walking out of that alley I didn't know if I should hug you or shake you senseless."

"A 'hi' would have been sufficient," Yakko muttered, feeling resentful for the guilt he was currently experiencing.

He had thought the rabbit was angry about getting pulled away from his party. In his fearful and anxious mindset last night he hadn't even given a thought that Bugs was more worried than anything else.

"A 'hi' my fluffy grey tail," Bugs said in a reproving tone. "I told you not to get off the phone with me, then you yelp 'cops' and hang up - I didn't know what to think. I go racing down there, you get in the car and while I'm sitting there trying to figure out what to say you start in with some wise-guy remark." Sitting down again he said, "I just lost my temper. I started to panic when I got there and didn't immediately see you…when I had you there and the fear was gone, all that was left was anger. You know better yet there you were; off lot, no chaperone, one of the most dangerous areas of ToonTown, smelling like beer – which, by the way doc you reek of –"

"I wasn't drinking," Yakko insisted, waving his fork at Bugs.

He decided to put it down. He and Bugs were finally talking, albeit a rather uncharacteristically serious conversation for them; no quips, no jokes, just straight dialogue. Putting the rabbit's eye out because he was brandishing a fork at him probably wouldn't help keep the conversation flowing.

"I never have and I don't even know how to make you believe me," Yakko continued, shaking his head as he began to nervously play with the fork, watching the prongs cut lines through the congealing syrup.

"I didn't mean that last night either," Bugs said... "About not believing you; I actually do. Before accusing you of lying, I shoulda let ya at least speak. It was obvious you wanted to talk about a lot of things and I didn't give you the chance and for that I'm sorry too."

"Its OK," Yakko muttered, willing to accept the apology. How many times had Wakko accused him of the same thing? "I didn't mean for this to happen, all of this," he continued, searching for the best words to use. "I've wanted to apologize - a few times actually – and each time I started too I just…I don't know, couldn't figure out what to say."

"Now you see my problem," Bugs said, leaning back in his chair. "Up until a few months ago just about anything I said you took at face value; you accepted any advice I gave and used it. Then something happened and you started almost trying to disagree with me."

"I wasn't trying to disagree with you," Yakko insisted. "I'm just - "

"Growing up," Bugs said. "And sometimes I forget that too. Problems I see you struggling with seem so easily solved to me, the solutions so obvious that I'm amazed that you even - "

"I know, I know, I miss them," Yakko muttered, looking down at his half eaten breakfast before sighing more dramatically than he intended and began to repeat back all the things Bugs had said to him before. "You're older, you know more, seen more, been around the block numerous more times - "

"I'd been around the block numerous times before your parents were born," Bugs said while eyeing him. "You wanna keep talking or throw jokes around?"

"Sorry," Yakko said.

He actually was. Bugs was trying to talk to him and he was still acting like a jerk to him.

"You should be; I apologized for the 'immature' comment, don't make me take it back," Bugs said.

Yakko didn't speak, he just nodded.

Clearing his throat Bugs continued. "And what I meant was I sometimes forget that despite how you usually behave, you're fourteen. You're brilliant, but you don't have the same experiences, the same thought process that I do. I unintentionally insult you when I expect you to, even though I usually trust you'll make the correct decision. If I see you getting ready to make a mistake or rush something you shouldn't my first instinct is to stop you before you hurt yourself or really screw something up and - "

"You don't need to protect me Bugs," Yakko said quietly, growing warm under the rabbit's look. "You don't always need to worry about me; I'm almost fifteen -"

"You can't tell me to stop worrying and expect it to happen," Bugs said, reaching for his coffee. "It doesn't turn off like a light switch because you happen to age a year, or five years, or ten."

"I know," Yakko said.

He did; he was the same way with Wakko and Dot. He constantly worried about them; even if they were safe somewhere and he knew where they were, he was constantly plagued with 'what if' scenarios. He always tried to do the best he could but he worried if he missed something, or if he hadn't prepared them for something they would run into now, or in a few years – what if they were totally caught by surprise by some situation he hadn't foreseen?

"Sometimes I forget that stuff, like this time and start off lecturing instead of trying to discuss something with you. When I finally realized what I was doing you had already gotten sullen and then I got frustrated because I knew it was partly my fault - "

"No it wasn't," Yakko said, shaking his head before looking at Bugs. "Not all of it. I said some horrible things to you, I didn't mean them and you didn't deserve them. No matter how you went about it, you were right and not only was I wrong I was extremely disrespectful when you -"

"And contrary to what you might think, I'm not happy about that either. I hoped that I was wrong about this girl and you wouldn't find out what some people are like, not right now." Giving a small helpless shrug with his shoulders he added, "I had hoped that you could at least go a few more years before running into her type. I didn't and it took me awhile to get over it. I'll tell you about that sometime, if you want."

Yakko nodded. Bugs was trying to talk at his level, not condescending, not the superior 'I know better so just listen to me' tone he had been using previously. If Bugs wanted to talk about a rather traumatizing moment in his life, Yakko would listen.

"But you gotta remember that what you do just doesn't affect you doc," Bugs continued. "You wanna get custody of Wakko and Dot in a few years right? You pull stuff like this, get caught at the wrong party, it aint gonna go well for you. And the rest of us – I wasn't the only one worried. Slappy was worried last night - "

"I'll call her," Yakko said, cheeks flaming because of the scolding, mostly because he knew this one he deserved. "I wanted to apologize to her anyway."

"Probably be a good idea," Bugs said. "And for now, I think we should just keep this between us."

Yakko sighed in relief; at least Bugs was going to be discreet.

"And I wanna talk to you about a few other things later – just talk," Bugs said when Yakko raised his head to look at him. "I'll try not to nag, but I want you to hear me out. Please always hear me out; if you don't like the way I'm talking to you, fine, just tell me but if I'm saying something, at least give what I'm saying a second thought. I don't run my mouth like Foghorn just to hear myself talk."

"Promise, I'll do better on listening."

"Also…"

Yakko watched the rabbit push himself away from the table and take a step towards his chair and he felt a rush of gratitude towards him. Surprised he felt Bugs grab his arm and yank him up before hugging him briefly to his slender chest

"Please, just…don't do this again OK? I ain't that old, but I don't think my ticker can take another two AM phone call like that."

Yakko nodded, touched and amused. Kraft always claimed they were the cheesiest; they should see Bugs after a bad night.

Bugs broke off the hug and sat back down, Yakko following suit.

"Now though, about last night," Bugs said hesitantly, "With what's-her-name and whatever happened…I'm not trying to get in your business, but, if you want to talk about it, I'm here, OK?"

Hesitating a moment, Yakko nodded.

"If you want to hear it," he replied.

"Told you before, I'm all ears." Bugs directed, resting his elbows on the table and propping his chin in his hands. "Lay it on me doc, you got my undivided attention and an entire weekend."

XXXXXXXXXX

May 8, 1995

"But Babs-"

"No buts Buster," Babs said, holding her hand up to cut Buster off. "You asked what I'd really like, and I'd like you to sing me a song."

"I don't sing!" Buster insisted.

"You sing on the show."

"That's different! This song is way out of my league! I can play it-"

Wakko leaned on the piano in the music room and shared a smirk with Max and Plucky while Elmyra and Shirley looked on from the floor, amused. No way was Buster talking himself out of this.

Silly rabbit shouldn't have asked Babs what she wanted for her birthday. She was a girl; who knew what they would come up with?

When Buster had asked Babs looked like she had been gifted with the biggest carrot cake in the history of baking. She had coyly put her hand on Buster's chest and after sharing a look with Elmyra had said 'a song'.

Wow.

Wakko had to feel some pity for the guy; five minutes now and he still hadn't been able to talk her out of wanting him to sing it. And she had to choose an appropriately mushy song for the occasion. The damn movie wasn't even out yet and already the airwaves of every station were playing the song.

It didn't stop him from wanting to see the movie of course; he was just extremely tired of the song.

He watched the two rabbits, Babs still sweetly pleading for him to sing her something. Buster looked like he had just swallowed a large bug. If he had some way of helping Buster out he would but if he opened his mouth she might look at him to sing it for her and he really didn't want to draw attention to himself.

He sang pretty often; the others could kick his ass at playing guitar or drums but he was the best singer of the four and Babs knew that. Hell, he knew it – everyone knew it. He wasn't even bragging to himself; of the four of them his voice was constantly the most steady and strong. The others weren't bad but as time had gone by he had sort of found himself unwittingly pushed into the role of official singer whenever they were in there.

"Look Babs, you've been in here with us before; how often do you ever see me sing?" Buster asked desperately.

"You sing all the time!"

"Back up. I rarely sing." He pointed to Max. "Hell Monty sings more than I do-"

"Don't drag me in it Bunny," Max said from the piano bench where he was idly plucking at the strings of his guitar and arguing with Plucky. "She's your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend Mongoloid!"

"Come on Buster," Babs said again, putting one arm around his neck while walking her fingers up his chest with the other. "I love the song-"

"I'll buy you the soundtrack!" He said, trying to push her off him. "Hell, I'll kidnap Seal if I have to!"

"I want to hear it now."

"So turn on a radio!" He exclaimed. "They play it every hour!"

"But I want to hear it live." When no one moved Babs put her hands on her hips and added, "Look you four retards, you sound good OK? Why do you think Elmyra and I come in here to watch you?"

Wakko thought that was an excellent question actually. Babs did sing sometimes when they broke into the music room and she wasn't bad; she had a nice strong voice and could carry a tune well. Fifi was hard to understand and Shirley always sounded weird with the 'likes' added in at the most unusual places.

He couldn't ever really recall hearing Mary sing much; when the girl was there she was usually talking to Max. Elmyra's voice sounded too high and young to really carry many tunes well unless it was 'Teddy Bears Picnic' or something equally childish.

He still liked listening to her laugh though. Her laugh made him laugh.

Not that he'd tell anyone that.

On the other hand maybe Buster would understand. He looked like he might be breaking down on the whole 'singing' thing. Maybe he liked hearing Babs laugh too.

"Look Babs, I'll do just about anything - just not that," Buster said as Babs went back to half draping herself on him.

Buster turned to look behind him and Wakko wasn't quick enough this time to turn his head and avoid meeting his eyes. He winced as Buster grinned, knowing what was coming.

"Hey, look Babs – you want to hear the song? You like it so much? Want to hear it sung by some goofy guy? Have Wakko sing it!"

"Screw you rabbit," Wakko laughed. "I'm not singing that."

Some songs he didn't mind singing with the others. When they broke in the music room the first time they had found books of old sheet music, most from Warner Brothers films, but some from other films. They had started out slowly and hesitantly, trying out different styles of music, and as their confidence grew, so did their experimentation. Soon, all of them were finding music around the lot to fiddle around with, or bringing in music from home.

While they were versatile, they seemed to work well with lots of the 'oldies' – stuff like Bugs liked to listen to like 'The Beatles' and 'The Rolling Stones'.

Though now the girls had begun to request songs, mostly love ballads. Just last week Elmyra had managed to talk him into singing 'Another Done Somebody Wrong Song'; she had even provided the music. He still heard crap from the others for it, though he didn't think that was entirely fair; he may have sang it, but damned if they didn't play their instruments for it.

Wakko could play a few different instruments with proficiency; unfortunately most of them were not conductive to rock music with the exception of the piano. You rarely heard harps and violins in most rock music. Since he could sing well and play the piano he tended to get thrown there most.

Max's voice had gotten deeper since they had first started playing together. He didn't have a bad voice now but when they had first started it would be OK then break off at certain sections then sound normal again. He tended to be embarrassed about it even though everyone tried not to laugh at him much.

Yakko had warned them at some point they were all going to go through it; something about puberty and their voices would get sort of squeaky at times before they would get deeper. But he said not laughing at Max now might save them from hearing him laugh at them later. Wakko tried to keep that in mind but knowing Max he'd probably laugh anyway.

The fact was that while Monty didn't have a bad voice he just really didn't like to sing. He was content to sing the backup sections and handle bass, occasionally playing lead guitar on a song.

Buster's voice was scratchy but serviceable; but again, he didn't like singing. He said between playing almost all the lead guitar sections and giving any needed stage directions to the other three he had his hands full. Wakko was always amused by the way Buster gave stage directions; he would use his ears, jabbing at each of them to say something. It worked, but half the time Buster looked like he was in the middle of a seizure when he was doing it.

Plucky…Good God Plucky…

He was one of his best friends. Talented in many areas Plucky had proven several times that despite his cowardice and ego he could be counted on to assist friends – close friends anyway. He was a natural comic even if his mouth tended to get him in trouble sometimes. He was good at languages, having been the first to learn sign language with any proficiency. He was currently tackling Spanish while the rest of them struggled through English. He was a great drummer, a decent piano player and a surprisingly good dancer.

Yes, the duck was talented in a multitude of areas.

Singing wasn't one of them.

He could handle being back up – his voice did blend well with the others. But the guy couldn't sing lead to save his life. The only thing he had ever sung that actually sounded good was 'Octopus's Garden' and that was written especially for someone with a less than melodious voice. The one time Plucky had tried to sing another song, 'Uptown Girl', he had almost shattered the windows in the building straining to reach the notes. Wakko had been waiting for everyone's ears to start leaking blink.

To be fair, none of them would have been able to sing it well, but Plucky simply destroyed it.

However he was a killer drummer – one of the best around as far as Wakko was concerned. He had heard Dizzy play once; the devil was a spaz whether he was fighting in a skating rink or attempting to beat out something close to a rhythm.

But where Dizzy couldn't control his overabundance of energy, Plucky was able to, at least while he was playing. He was versatile, could come up with some pretty good licks when he was just playing around, and was a good time keeper. If nothing else, he admitted – albeit grudgingly – that his voice was best suited to back ups.

"Yeah Wak," Plucky said, twirling around his drum stick in his fingers. "Sing the song for the love-struck bunny. Maybe Pinky will transfer her crush from your brother to you. Gonna have blue-boy over there mad though."

Leaning over, Wakko yanked the drumstick out of Plucky's left hand and used it to knock the duck upside his head. And he had been thinking nicely of the duck too. He took it all back after that crack.

"Shut up Duck – I'm not singing."

"Come on," Plucky lisped, grabbing his drumstick back and swiping at Wakko.

Wakko jumped back and Plucky missed.

As usual. It was because of his ninja-like reflexes of course. Silly mallard didn't stand a chance.

"Fine," Plucky sighed. "I'll sing it. Anything to shut up Pinky."

"Oh screw that," Max said, picking out some unknown tune. "I'm not sitting here and listening to you mangle another song; the last one you sang sounded like a cat being tortured while someone forced a live wire down its throat." Briefly looking up from his guitar he added, "Just sing the damn song Mime so we can play something cool afterwards."

"Why don't you sing it Max?" Plucky said, leaning on the piano and crossing his arms with a smirk. "Well, never mind. None of us want to listen to you squeak your way through another tune."

"No, that's a decent idea out of you two, for once," Babs said, turning to look at Wakko.

Wakko cut his eyes from his friends to Babs, then down at Elmyra, who was sitting on the floor next to Shirley and watching the entire spectacle with wide eyes. Sitting up from where she had been leaning on the piano Elmyra began nodding her head like a bobblehead.

"Come on cuddlehead, I know you can sing it."

_I know I can too. I just don't want to._

"No, count me out," Wakko said, waving his hand at Babs. "I already bought you something; I'm not singing too." Seeing the look on her face and hoping to distract her he asked, "Hey, how about I give you your present now and - "

"Oh come on Wakko," Babs said, pushing herself away from Buster and sending him sprawling on the polished linoleum floor. "I know you can sing it, and probably better than Buster."

"Oh thanks," Buster muttered.

Meanwhile, Wakko was back stepping away from the advancing Babs faster than Kwicky Koala running from Wilford Wolf. He had to be careful; he knew from past experience that Babs was fast. And once she caught you she could latch on quicker than Elmyra until she got her way. Even Dot wasn't that bad.

And he couldn't count on any of his friends for help it seemed; Plucky had gone back to trading insults with Max, though both looked like they were actually getting angry again. Wakko raised his ears up slightly to listen; they had been trading more barbs lately, some getting surprisingly mean.

Buster was watching Babs and him while rubbing his butt and muttering under his breath. Elmyra was watching him while Shirley meditated or zoned out or whatever that zen crap she did was.

"Oh Wakko…"

_Oh crap._

"Please sing it?" Babs cooed.

Wakko backed up a few more steps before hitting the wooden wall behind him. He was stuck; the doors were to the right, in the path of not only Babs, but Elmyra and Shirley were blocking the way. And he'd probably have to leap the piano too. Miscellaneous instruments and shelves were to the left, but there was no door back there.

He was stuck.

"I'm not doing it Babs," he said. "I'm tired of that song! Look, I'll buy you the tape OK? You can listen to it over and over on your Walkman - "

"But you've got such a good voice," she said. "You should want to sing."

"Yeah, come on Wak," Plucky called over, turning from glaring at Max to watch Wakko with a malicious grin. "Belt out the song for the rabbit. We got your back."

_I bet you do. Tard._

"Oh, sure you want to play it Plucky?" Max drawled. "You know, it's sung by a black guy."

_Wow._

Surprised and curious, Wakko turned from Babs to watch the two boys as the conversation around them ceased. Even Babs had quit trying to whine and finagle a song and was staring at them, her mouth dropped open in shock.

Max, guitar still strapped to his body, was bent over slightly so he was in Plucky's face. Plucky, fists clenched around his drumsticks, was almost on the tips of his webbed feet so he could speak directly in the taller boy's face.

"I've never refused to do a song by a black guy! What the hell's that mean?"

"Oh, I don't know," Max said airly, waving his hand. "Maybe that you've picked up a bad case of racism from those half-assed parents you got?"

_Ouch._

"Fuck you," Plucky said, pushing Max. "My parents might be half-assed but at least their around!"

"Like, bad karma Plucky," Shirley said, her eyes still closed as she sat crossed legged on the floor.

Wincing and ignoring Shirley's long-winded explanation of karma, Wakko went to step in. Max rarely talked about his parents, but he had figured out long ago it was a touchy subject with him. If he wanted to talk about them, he brought the subject up.

Better to stop the duck – again – before he got himself in trouble.

"Look, let's just do the song," Wakko said hurriedly. "I'll sing. It's Babs' birth- "

"I like you Wak, so I'll say this once. Back off," Max growled, not even looking at him. "This doesn't concern you."

Stunned, Wakko stared at his friend, finally feeling Babs use a finger to shut his open jaw. What the hell was wrong with these two? Sure, they might throw zingers at each other, but they rarely got hurtful. Even if they did, rarely did they get too offended. Both of them had big mouths and loved to shoot them off.

Well, that wasn't true. It seemed to be getting ugly, here and there, for the last few months. Bugs and Yakko had gotten like that for awhile. Wakko didn't have all the details; the most Yakko had said when asked was that he and Bugs had a misunderstanding about something. They had talked, agreed they were both wrong and now everything was fine again and there was nothing to worry about.

Course, Bugs probably hadn't made a crack about anyone's Mom either.

"Wanna say that again?" Max said quietly to Plucky.

"Why? I stutter?"

"No, but damn you used to didn't you?"

"Screw you you pudgy runt!"

Wakko watched as Max's face briefly reflected hurt before contorting back into anger. He wasn't sure what the insult meant; Monty wasn't exactly built, but he wasn't pudgy. Wakko considered him about average as far as body types went; Max was solid. If nothing else his head didn't seem to big for his body any longer.

"Yeah, and this pudgy runt was the first friend you had! I was the only one that would listen to you stutter and lisp your way - "

"To bad you don't listen now," Plucky said evilly. "Maybe you got some of Mary's nappy hair stuck in your ears."

"Plucky!" Babs breathed. "What's wrong with you?"

"Yeah cutie ducky-head-"

"Cool it guys," Buster warned. "Just grab your instruments, let's do the song."

"Back off rabbit, this is between me and Romeo here," Plucky shot back, momentarily looking at Buster before returning to glare at Max.

"Save the racism shit for the humans Plucky," Max said in a low tone. "You're better than that."

Narrowing his eyes at Max Plucky said, "I'm better than that but not good enough to hang out with apparently."

"Oh this shit again?"

"And it wasn't racist - "

"Right. Nappy hair," Max snorted. "What Klan meeting you pick that up in?"

"And anyway, I said my parents are around, they talk to their kids. They told me all about your girlfriend."

"Last time, she's not my girlfriend!"

"Well, you sure seem to act like she is," Plucky said. "You can't keep your head out of her ass long enough to talk to me - "

"Christ," Max said loudly. "I think she's nice, what's the problem with that?"

"Obviously, since you don't hang out with me anymore."

"With the way you've been acting I don't even want to - "

"And not just any girl, that girl! I wouldn't even care if you chose someone who was good enough for you!" Plucky said, getting back in Max's face. "But no – you chose that! Even my parents were shocked – they like you!"

"And you know how I feel about them," Max countered. "Gossipy judgmental snobs and you're turning out to be just like them."

"My parents told me some great information on her."

"Don't start mallard - "

"Her father running off. Her mother's some maid during the day and probably a crack-ho to the humans at night looking for a bit of strange and Mary will probably end up the same way in - "

Wakko watched, eyes wide, as Max pulled his fist back and caught Plucky square in his beak. It didn't look like the hardest punch he ever threw, but it still landed with a 'thwacking' sound and sent the duck flying to the floor with a thud.

Rushing forward, Wakko grabbed Max's fist; he couldn't stop the first hit, but he could stop a second one.

Maybe; Max was strong and pissed off. Hopefully he wouldn't turn around and hit him. Wakko would mallet him through the floor if he tried, but he'd feel bad. A little bit anyway.

"Let go Mime - "

"And let you get blink and feathers everywhere?" Wakko grunted while straining to hold on to both of Max's arms. "Hell no. I'm not cleaning that up."

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Buster helped a stunned Plucky off the floor while Babs and Elmyra clutched each other and Shirley continued to chant. Buster was glaring at everyone while Plucky was rubbing his beak. He tried to charge Max but Buster wrestled both his arms behind his back.

"Settle down asshole," Buster said. "See what you started with that big fat beak of yours? And you Max - "

"What the hell did I do?" Max snapped. "That sort of - "

"Swinging your fists around like some pugilist isn't the best way to get your point across," Buster said in what Wakko thought was a fairly reasonable tone considering the circumstance.

"Oh, you'd accept that shit if he was saying that about, oh, Babs maybe? How about Elmyra?" Max asked snidely.

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Plucky said nastily. "And using your fists? How barbaric."

"Oh, you sure seemed to think it was OK when I was using my fists to save your feathered ass at the rink though didn't you? Should have just let you get beat down, maybe you'd think twice then about some of the shit that comes out of your mouth!"

Wakko wished they'd both stop talking; they were making it worse and starting to irritate him. Plucky, who had been looking hurt at being struck by his supposed best friend was looking mad again.

Max hadn't seemed inclined to cool down to begin with; if anything he appeared to be getting angrier.

"Look…" Buster said, trailing off for a minute as he got a look of deep concentration on his face. "Babs, we'll sing your song later, promise. Hell, I'll sing it myself if I have to."

"But Buster - "

"Drop it Babs," he said. "I got other problems to deal with. Wakko, get Max out of here to cool off. He can't shut his big mouth anymore than the dippy duck can."

"I'll put my fist in your mouth next," Max muttered.

"Why the hell do I have to take Max?" Wakko asked, trying not to whine.

Plucky looked like he was calming down; he'd rather hang out with him even if all he would do was moan about how his best friend had deserted him for a girl.

Already dragging Plucky out the door, Buster called over his shoulder, "Because Max likes you better and is less likely to beat your ass."

Wakko looked at Max; he personally didn't think that was entirely true.

"That's what you think," Max said. "Let go Mime; I'm more talented and don't give a shit if I piss off more than one person today."

_That's obvious, _Wakko thought, giving a curt nod to the still stunned Babs and Elmyra as he began to bodily drag Max out of the room, waiting until Buster and Plucky were out of sight. The girls were always grousing that the boys were idiots; after this display they probably all looked like morons.

Maybe being a girl was easier. After thinking about some of the things Babs had said about Rhuebella, maybe not. The girls had a different way of fighting; occasionally, Babs would fling a pie at one of her enemies, but mostly she used her mouth. Babs and her tongue could bring about devastating results when she was angry. But usually without so much as raising an arm.

That's why he liked Elmyra. On occasion she got angry – hell - who didn't? Even he got angry and he always thought he was pretty laid back. And sometimes he had gotten Elmyra angry, but it was rare. And he could count on one hand the number of times she had said something truly mean about someone.

He knew this was coming, he should have seen it. Those two, their personalities were so different and volatile, not to mention having nothing in common that it was an eruption waiting to happen. And with what had just happened, Plucky's big mouth and then Max punching his big mouth closed, he had doubts that the friendship could be saved. He hoped so anyway; he liked both of them. It sucked when your friends fought and he didn't want to have to take sides.

He'd like to think he'd forgive Buster if he punched him in the mouth, but then again it was hard to say. He'd never say anything about Buster's mom – moms were off limits, but dead moms fell into a whole other realm of untouchable subjects. Wakko knew Buster would never say anything about his mother.

Dragging the fuming Max down the hallway and out of the building, he tried to think where he could bring the other boy to calm down. Silently he thought about kicking Buster's ass for sticking him with Max. When he finally let Max's arms go he wondered how fast he'd have to get away from him; the boy seemed to be getting angrier with each step as they left the building.

Of course Buster took Plucky; the rabbit got off easy. Wakko supposed if he had thought about separating the two of them, he would have wrestled Plucky out rather than Max too. Then again, he hadn't thought about separating them, and Buster was the first to notice months ago that Plucky and Max seemed to be at each other's throats more. Probably why all of them looked at Buster as the brains of their little operation.

Buster should have taken Max; Wakko knew he wasn't good at this sort of stuff. How was he supposed to calm the angry boy down? Max was going to open a fresh can of ass-stomping on him, then go hunting down Plucky and very likely Buster, not that Wakko had many objections to that at the moment.

As he half dragged Max into the bright sunlight, he looked around; there had to be some place they could go for awhile to calm down and that offered sufficient hiding places. Max was muttering threats and curses under his breath. Thankfully about seventy-five percent of them seemed aimed at Plucky.

Wakko looked up and spotted Bugs and Yakko close to the cafeteria, walking slowly and laughing about something. At least their friendship seemed OK. But if they saw him manhandling Max around like a side of beef they'd be curious and want to know what was happening, and they weren't the type to take 'nothing' for an answer.

All around him people – humans and toons – were walking the lot, wheeling props, reading scripts, talking to each other, talking on phones, in one case talking to themselves. Seeing Dr. Scratchansniff leaving a building Wakko groaned and dragged Max down the closest alley. He'd rather sit next to a dumpster for awhile than be subjected to the doctor's analytical questions about what was happening.

"Let me go Wakko, I can kick your ass too - "

"Please," Wakko snorted. "I'd outrun you and be back to mallet you before you got out of this alley." Finally letting go of Max's arms and flexing his own cramped fingers Wakko added, "You're stronger but I'm faster and you know it."

"I know Plucky's faster too but I still caught him in his big mouth didn't I?" Max growled, balling his fists. "Now get out of my way before I mallet the hell out of you."

"Look man, I'm on you're side," Wakko said, putting his hands up. "You see me trying to fight with you? Just calm down."

Max huffed and leaned his back against the wall, putting his fists in his pockets. Wakko paused a moment before leaning beside him. He was actually surprised; he had half expected Max to storm out of the alley, but he appeared content to simply grumble and mutter under his breath.

"Stupid duck," Max muttered. "And I'm an even bigger idiot for hanging around with his snotty ass. That's what I get for being friends with some kid younger than me."

"Hey," Wakko said, slightly hurt. "I'm the same age as Plucky."

Close anyway; Plucky was only a few months older than him.

"You're different," Max waved him off.

"How so?" Wakko demanded. "You're a few years older but that doesn't make any difference!"

"I didn't say it did dipshit. I've never heard you say Mary was some piece of ghetto trash because she's poor and lives in Natwick or because she -"

"How could I?" Wakko shrugged, unconcerned. "I'm from Plympton and from what Yakko's said that's worse than Natwick. And up until a few years ago, we were living on the streets, remember?" Snickering for a second he added, "Besides, I'm black too."

"Cute Wak," Max grumbled, cutting his eyes at Wakko briefly before turning his head to glare at the ground. "Like I told Plucky, save the race shit for someone else. Toons with any sense don't adhere to that antiquated garbage. Let the humans fuss about what color someone is."

Wakko nodded in agreement. Toons, unlike humans, didn't have the long standing feud regarding races and colors. A black rabbit was just as accepted as a white one, and they even had purple, blue or mint colored bunnies thrown in. What good would judging someone on what color they were accomplish? In a town that had a blue hedgehog zipping down a street next to a talking taxi cab while an elephant soared high above, it just made more sense to worry about character traits and personalities instead.

Wakko liked humans; like most toons he simply viewed them as another being in the world he inhabited, but sometimes he just didn't understand them.

"Just a joke Monty, trying to lessen all the built up rage you got inside," Wakko said easily. "Besides, I don't think Plucky cares if she's black or not - "

"Wouldn't know it by the way he talks."

"Well," Wakko said before falling silent for a moment, trying to figure out what he wanted to say intelligently.

Max looked like he was calming down; if he phrased something wrong he'd inadvertently make him mad again. Since he was stuck in an alleyway with him he wanted to avoid that. Besides, he didn't like watching his friends fight.

"Until a while ago, Plucky seemed OK with Mary," Wakko said. "I never heard him say anything bad about her anyway. She played ball with us and all and he never complained. But seriously, you talk about her a lot. And if you're not talking to her your talking to us about her and - "

"I don't talk about her anymore than you talk about Elmyra!"

_What the hell?_

"I don't talk about Elmyra that much," Wakko huffed, trying to rack his brain for the last time he had said anything about her.

He had been talking to her earlier, but she was right there. It would be rude to ignore her…right?

"Besides, I don't hang out with her all the time," he reasoned. "And we've all seen it. We go to the arcade and if she's there you'll lose right away when you're playing against one of us so you can play with her. Or you say you'll be back in a second and it's like an hour later because you saw Mary and wanted to talk."

"Great, you too?" Max said. "I've got him jealous with one of the worst excuses I've ever heard and now I've got to deal with you whining?"

"I'm not whining," he said. "I'm just saying that you spend an awful lot of time with her is all. Look, I'm not saying I don't like her," Wakko said when Max looked up and glared at him. "I do. She's a good ball player and she's nice. So's Elmyra, so's Babs, but none of us want to hear about them all the time."

"I don't talk about her all the time," Max muttered.

"And before," Wakko said hesitantly. "You hung out with Plucky more and now, I don't know," he shrugged lamely. "You seem to sort of push him – all of us – off if she's around, like you're ignoring us. No one wants to play second fiddle to some girl all the time."

He hoped that made sense. He figured it did; when he had mentioned something about it to Yakko that was one of the things he said, but he said it was normal and Wakko himself would be doing it sooner or later. He hoped.

"Second fiddle?" Max snorted. "What old ass sitcom did you pick that saying up from; sounds like something Jeeves would say." Sighing he said, "And I don't ignore you, any of you, especially Plucky. Where does he even get off saying that? We talk all the time; I tell him shit you and the stupid order giving bunny couldn't even dream of."

"I can only imagine," Wakko said dryly. "And I probably don't want to. Besides, you love to run your mouth, I don't think you could hold - "

"I told him I kissed Mary," Max said. "I never told you that did I?"

"You just did, and gross Monty," Wakko said refraining from wrinkling his nose in distaste. "At least if you're gonna do that, be a pal and keep it to yourself."

He was tempted to ask Max what it was like though. He had asked Yakko once about certain things, like what happened to your tongue and did their teeth hit, and what was up with a girl with braces? Did it cut your lip apart? What did he do if the girl had bad breath? Did he offer her a Certs or was it better to ignore it and try to guess what she ate? What if there was a booger in her nose? Did he just ignore it and try not to stare at it? Was it better to keep quiet and just eye it warily when he kissed and hope that it didn't drop out on him? Was kissing even worth the hassle? Was it 'French kissing' because the girl was French or was it something different entirely?

Yakko hadn't been very helpful though; he had gotten all romantic on him and started talking in a flowery language that sounded like poetry. After he had gone on about fifteen minutes about love and waiting until the time was right and a bunch of other junk Wakko gleaned what he could out of him and went to compare notes with Buster. The bunny had been pumping his own father for information. Unfortunately Buster hadn't gotten much more than Wakko had.

Max was no poet; he'd cut to the chase and just tell him what the hell happened. Maybe when Max was in a better mood he'd ask him.

"Fuck you, it's not as bad as you think. You'll see…I hope anyway. Cheer up, someday you might convince some girl you're not a total mutant - "

"Can it Max," Wakko muttered. "I'm trying to be helpful here. Can we get off that subject, get back to why I'm sitting in a damn alley letting you tell me disgusting tales of spit-swapping?"

"Look around you Mime; this should be considered sacred ground to you. This is the alley you met us in."

Surprised, Wakko looked around; Max was actually right. They weren't around the back corner in the exact spot, but it was the entranceway between the two buildings.

"Funny," Wakko said quietly. "I remember you being a pain in the ass then too."

Max was talking again, but it was almost like he was talking to himself. He had one hand entwined in his hair while he appeared to be thinking out loud.

"Stupid duck. I like Mary but damn it, he's my best friend; has been for years. Ever since he forced his stupid ass on me. Then I save his stupid ass and he - "

"You wanted to pound on Tank anyway, it wasn't like it was all Plucky's fault, " Wakko said, feeling the need to stick up for the mallard some. Yes, the duck had been way out of line, especially with the cracks about Max's parents, but Plucky was still his friend too. And everyone knew Tank and Max loathed each other. Wakko just assumed it was an instant hate thing.

"That shit at the rink? Please, I was talking about before."

"Before what?"

"When I first met him dipshit." Frowning at him Max asked, "You never heard about how we met did you?"

"I thought it was because of the show," Wakko shrugged. He raised an eyebrow at Max's smirk and asked, "Am I about to get kidnapped for a trip down memory lane?"

"You dragged me out of the music room, you get to get dragged down my trip through Nostalgia-Ville."

"Lucky me," Wakko muttered while resting himself lower on the wall. If he had to sit through story time, he might as well get comfortable. Besides, this might actually be interesting and Max looked pleased to be telling it. At least he wasn't looking angry anymore.

"And I knew him a few years before the show; hell, it's because of him that I got sort of pushed through as the 'villain' of the show" Max laughed as he did finger quotes around the word 'villain'. "He's the one that convinced me to try out."

"So how did you meet him?" Wakko asked.

"Met him at some kiddie function Jeeves made me go to. Moron got himself in trouble then too; wasn't his fault then, not really. That asshole Tank was picking on him and Plucky was this little runt. He may be a tool but he couldn't help stuttering and lisping - "

"He lisps now," Wakko argued.

Plucky didn't stutter except when he was really scared or excited but he did lisp a little. A lot of the bird toons did, especially the ducks. Sometimes their hard beaks had trouble forming around certain words and pronunciations unless they were Chucking their beaks, but no one did that except when they were filming a scene. With a few notable exceptions all of them were understandable, but most tended to have somewhat nasally sounding voices.

"Nah, worse than now. Plucky had this really bad stutter, and this lisp…worse than you'd imagine Daffy would be after ten shots of tequila," Max said. "Took a year or so of working with a speech therapist to get it under control." With a shrug he added, "Even now he's the one that spends the most time working with the voice coach on the show."

Wakko nodded; he knew that. Plucky had said something about it ages ago. After all, who wanted a star – especially a major supporting star – that couldn't be understood by the audience?

But it made sense, in a way. It explained why Plucky was the best at sign language and was now studying to learn a second language. After conquering a speech impediment, especially one that was as severe as Max was making it sound, he'd be more confident and want to communicate in a variety of different ways.

"I didn't want to be at the damn function anyway," Max said. "Jeeves made me go; said it would be better for me to get out and meet people instead of hanging out in the kitchen with the cook and maid learning card games and eating all the cookies."

"You? Hanging out with the help?"

"Up yours; I'm a pain in the ass but I like them."

"I was kidding. Damn you're sensitive," Wakko muttered. "Anyway - back to the story."

"Right - tool. Anyway, I managed to chase Tank off because Plucky was close to tears while he lisped and stuttered at the fat fool and I felt sorry for him or some shit. After that he followed me around everywhere; couldn't get rid of him. Being the spoiled friendless brat I am I kept trying to send him off to get me a cup of punch or something, anything to get him away from me. I'd try to hide but damned if he didn't find me each time. I finally thought I shook him and told Jeeves I wanted to leave and Plucky showed again, this time inviting me to his house like we were friends or something. Next thing I knew Jeeves was inviting him to our place. Before I knew it Plucky was sitting on the floor in my bedroom getting Ritz Cracker crumbs in the carpet."

"He does that now," Wakko pointed out, amused by the mental image. He couldn't imagine the cocky, vain Plucky hero-worshiping anyone, especially Max.

Ok, maybe Daffy; Plucky lived and died by what Daffy said.

"I'm used to it now," Max said. "I make him vacuum my carpet when he comes over. Jeeves thought it was dandy I made a friend, Dad thought it was great I was doing something that didn't involve trying to interact with him in any way. Mom was happy that I made friends with Plucky because his father's a well respected architect. Hell, even Plucky's snotty ass parents were happy – I was rich and had good connections."

"Oh come on Max," Wakko said. "I can't see Plucky's parents - "

"You laugh Mime; you've never met them. Plucky's parents…" Max shook his head while he plucked at a button on his shirt. "Plucky's an idiot but I didn't think he'd turn out to be like them; I expected better of him." Shaking his head again he added, "And he's never pulled some shit like this before. Why the hell a toon would even be racist - "

"Well," Wakko started out again slowly while again cursing Buster to the bowels of hell for putting him in this situation. "Plucky is an idiot sometimes, but I don't think he's racist, not really... Like I said, he's never had any problem with Mary before. Maybe that's why he's using it…because, you know, he doesn't have anything else to say."

"Never stopped him before," Max said darkly. "After we met and started hanging out Plucky forgot how to shut up. Can you believe before we met Plucky said he was so shy and nervous about his speech problem that he rarely spoke?"

"Not really, I can't imagine Plucky not running his mouth constantly," Wakko said. "He's as bad as Yakko – and they both talk in their sleep." Shrugging, Wakko thought about what to say.

Getting a pout on his face, Max slumped back against the wall and muttered, "Still don't know why I'm friends with him. He's an idiot, selfish, vain, egotistical, greedy, hyperactive, obviously needs more meds than he's currently taking…"

Hoping he didn't sound like an idiot himself Wakko said slowly, "I suppose, if you want to look at it another way, being friends with you sort of helped him. Without you there wouldn't be a Plucky Duck on the show." Thinking about that for a minute he added, "Then again, maybe that's not the best - "

"Can it Mime."

"Hey, ease off, I'm playing," Wakko said while throwing his arm around Max's shoulder. "I like the stupid duck."

"Everyone likes the stupid duck," Max muttered. "Let's talk about something else."

"Fine, I have a question."

"I can hardly wait to hear."

"What was with the pudgy thing because you sure seemed to get pissed - "

"Low blow from Plucky."

"Well, the stuttering comment was too," Wakko pointed out.

"You're an asshole and I don't know why I'm friends with you either," Max said, narrowing his eyes at him.

Wakko smiled and said, "Come on, you adore me. I bet you want to fall on your knees and kiss the ground we're standing on since you actually remembered this was the alley in which we met. After I saved your ass of course."

"What a load of - "

"Come on Max," Wakko said, not bothering to keep the pleading sound out of his voice. "You've bared the rest of your soul to me - "

"Hardly." Looking at his face and sighing Max said, "Fine, when I met him I was…a little…chubby."

Wakko shrugged and said, "Well, you did say you hung out in the kitchen and tried to eat all the cookies."

"I had a few extra pounds Mime. I wasn't some fat ass like Tank or something."

Wakko grinned and said, "Well, if nothing else, chasing Plucky around trying to strangle him probably helped knock the weight off you."

"Until I met Plucky I never went in the backyard much... Hell, I didn't know we owned a pool. Imagine my surprise."

"See?" Wakko said enthusiastically. "You two sort of are good for each other, imagine what you would be like without having met him or what he - ."

"You know Wak, talking to you is like being forced to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' over and over while a small child continuously kicks me in the groin," Max snorted. "Good for each other. This isn't some - "

"Well, you are," Wakko said. "If it wasn't for him you'd be some fat ass runt hiding in the kitchen shoveling Oreos in your mouth and not having anyone to talk to and then you would have never been able to kiss Mary-"

"Christ, you're not going to sing or something next are you? Because I'll toss you in this dumpster."

"No, but we still have to sing that song for Babs."

"Screw that; the bunny said he'd do it."

"But it's for Babs and it's her birthday; do you really want to hear Buster strain his way through it?"

"On second thought you do it," Max nodded. "Let's go back; Buster probably got Plucky settled down, shoved some Ritalin or something down his throat."

"Fine…you feeling OK now?"

"Just ducky," Max muttered.

Wakko nodded. Crisis adverted. He hadn't really said anything wise and wonderful and he still wanted to kick Buster's ass for making him deal with Max, but the boy didn't look like he was about to kill anyone any longer. Max and Plucky could hopefully kiss and make up…

Kiss. God. Max just had to lay the heavy stuff on him. In an alley. He was scarred for life.

"Hey Wak?"

Wakko started to turn to look and felt Max grab him, giving him a short but fierce hug.

"Thanks. You tell anyone any of this though I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll have - "

"Yeah yeah, my breath will smell like shoe shine polish. Come up with a new threat Mongoloid." Returning the hug they broke off at the same time before awkwardly shoving their hands in their pockets. "And I won't."

He wouldn't. Max opening up like he had wasn't unheard of; often he was seen as just a spoiled rich kid, the boy who had everything and still wasn't happy, whether it was on the show or off. Quite often it was true. Sometimes though everyone tended to forget he had feelings too; just most times he chose not to show them. If he was though, the last thing Wakko wanted to do was betray his trust; what sort of friend would that make him?

Walking beside Max, Wakko cut a quick look at him. Max had always seemed possessed with tons of self confidence. Without him meeting Plucky, Max might very well be some friendless chubby kid, sitting by himself. The thought bothered Wakko.

Max was an ass. Max was the first to admit it; it was almost like he took pride in it. Underneath the smart assed comments, the sarcasm and swearing and pranks and complaining he was a decent guy.

He rarely complained about how he was shown on the show; he was hired to be the villain and he played the part to perfection. Every now and then he was actually shown on the show to have some set of morals, even if it was rare and buried deep down.

Sometimes, when they were out at the mall or something he would have people say things to him, about he was a jerk for something he did or said on the show. Other times he was told he was the son of that bastard for something his father did.

Wakko didn't know much about Max's parents; their names were Thurston and Belladonna and they seemed to prefer to spend as little time with their son as possible. Max spoke more often about Jeeves or Blair, the maid. Hell, he spoke about the cook more often than his parents.

He had to give Max credit. Max seemed to shrug everything off most times. If a fan wanted an autograph or picture that was fine. If it was one of the people that wanted to tell him he was a jerk, that was fine too. Max said if nothing else it showed he was doing his job well.

Wakko wished he could be more like him. He certainly had his fair share of fans, but most of them didn't seem capable of seeing beyond the eating machine he played. A few times he really wanted to tell these people that if he ate some of the stuff he was shown eating he'd be dead. He could no more eat an anvil than he could an entire cake.

And he had brains too, even if half the time he didn't use them. Everyone just saw the idiot middle kid, a role that normally didn't bother him much. Every now and then though it chafed.

But he could talk about that to Max. Max didn't always want to be seen as an evil bastard anymore than Wakko wanted to be seen as an idiot.

Looking up, Wakko's steps faltered briefly. Buster was heading toward them, a reluctant looking Plucky beside him. The duck didn't look angry; Wakko crossed his fingers that Buster had gotten him calmed down enough to apologize. Max was calm enough that he would probably talk, but if Plucky started off insulting him or Mary again another war would probably break out.

Beside him Max paused before almost stomping toward Plucky, muttering under his breath again. Wakko rolled his eyes. He was worried about Plucky running his mouth and Max looked like he was going to beat him to the punch.

Storming up to Plucky Max opened up his mouth to speak but the duck began talking first.

"Look, Monty," Plucky said, running a hand through the feathers on his head briefly before looking up at the taller boy. "About what I said before, with your parents - "

"It's forgotten," Max growled.

"And with Mary - "

"Don't mention it. Seriously. Just drop it."

"No I'm not going to drop it," Plucky snapped.

Buster shook his head while Wakko put a hand over his eyes, practically seeing Max's hand coming out to strangle the duck. Not hearing a snapping noise that would signify the duck's tragic but not unforeseen demise, Wakko removed his hand to watch.

"Plucky - "

"Seriously, if you like her…like that," Plucky grimaced. "Fine. I don't think she's good enough for you, but whatever."

"Give her a chance and stop listening to the shit your parents dish out and maybe you'd see…" Max trailed off, crossing his arms before uncrossing them and sticking a finger in Plucky's face. "You've got some damn nerve. I know you got some damn semblance of a brain up there, make your own decision. Or at least come up with a new one and don't parrot back to me what your Dad's saying; I hear it enough at your house now."

"Calm down you two," Buster said. "I don't have the strength to separate you two again."

Wakko glared at him. Buster gets off easy and then moans about it like he had some hard task? Plucky and Max weren't the only ones that were going to be getting into it.

"Plucky, try to understand Mary and Max like each other." With a smirk Buster added, "I don't get it either. Hell, I don't understand why anyone likes Max - "

"Fuck you Grover."

"-but we'll try to tolerate her; we tolerate Babs and the others, we can add her to the list that hopefully won't grow too much longer. Max, try to understand we don't get it. Seriously. I know Dad said this was going to happen to all of us, the whole girl thing - "

"It better," Max muttered. "If any of you start liking me that way this friendship is over I don't care how many blue bunnies try to intervene."

Wakko snickered at Buster's startled look. Buster was rarely caught off guard; when he was though it usually provided a few chuckles.

"I didn't mean like that. You matured first according to my father. Congratulations, it's probably the only time I'll ever get to say you did anything first," Buster snapped.

"Fine fine," Max said, waving him off. "You three are allowed to use me as your role model as you travel on the road to man hood."

"Oh what a load of horse shit," Wakko laughed.

Buster just put a hand over his eyes.

"Fine Max, I'll aspire to be just like you. If I'm done inflating your precious ego - "

"It's really never enough you know," Max added.

"Deal, it's all you're gonna get. If you and Plucky have made up - "

"It's forgotten," Max shrugged before turning to Plucky. "We'll talk later anyway; promise I won't talk about Mary."

"Just not all the time," Plucky muttered.

"Lovely," Buster said. "Why the hell do I never have a camera at these precious moments? Anyway, if the four of us could get back in there and sing Babs her damn song…" Sighing, Buster added, "I said I'd sing the damn thing didn't I?"

"I'll do it," Wakko said. "If you don't want to."

"Taking one for the team, way to go Wak," Buster said, slapping him on the back as Plucky and Max began talking and walked in front of them. "Knew I could count on you."

"You better thank me," Wakko hissed. "What the hell? You trying to get me killed? Sending me off with a pissed off Max?"

"Are you kidding?" Buster snorted. "I was serious; Max was way more likely to listen to you than me."

"Right. I believe that, especially after I just watched him slug Plucky."

"He expects more of Plucky. So did I actually," Buster admitted. "Some toons pick up the human's bad traits; racism is one of them."

"For once Max is right; it really makes no sense," Wakko said quietly, eyeing his friends walking ahead of him. "And Plucky didn't seem like that type."

"When Plucky's head is filled with it at the dinner table every night, I suppose it makes sense that's what he parrots back," Buster said. "But his parents don't like me and Plucky hangs out with me anyway, so I figured he'd listen to me."

"How do you know they don't like you?"

"Plucky's told me some stuff, not that he wanted to but I got it out of him. I picked up on other stuff. With Plucky's family it's all about connections."

"I suppose being the co-star on the show doesn't help right?"

"Probably, with them who can say. Plucky likes me and they haven't forbidden him to hang out with me, that's all that matters. But I talk too much to do anything with Max when he's that pissed off, which is why I sent you with him."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Please. You probably didn't even have to talk that much. But you listen more than I do," Buster said, pulling the door open to the music room. "Max just needed someone to vent to for a few minutes. And whatever you said must have worked because they don't look too pissed at each other do they?"

Wakko looked up; the girls were crowding around Plucky and Max, asking questions while the two boys tried to push them away and get to their instruments.

"Yeah, right," Wakko grumbled, his own annoyance at Buster losing steam in light of this reasonable argument. "Guess you did OK with Plucky then."

"But…look Wak, I ever piss you off that much, like you want to really hit me, just talk to me OK? I know friends fight too, but I don't want to fight like that, and not over some girl. I don't trust Plucky and Max to separate us; those two would likely try to bet on who'd win."

"Promise," Wakko agreed, shaking Buster's hand. "Besides, the outcome of that fight would be obvious. Me."

Smirking and pulling his hand back, Wakko pulled Buster's shirt over his head and ran toward the others while the rabbit hollered threats to him good-naturedly.

Skidding to a stop in front of the others Wakko took the sheet music from Max, scanning the lyrics as Buster finally joined him, smacking him on the back of the head.

"Oh good, the Fab Four are back and I'm going to get my song," Babs said. "Shut up everyone!"

Wakko winced at her yell, watching her and Elmyra sit on the piano bench. Shirley had gone back to meditating. Why did she even come in there? It wasn't like she ever participated or anything.

Hearing the others begin playing, hesitantly, than with more confidence Wakko waited for a few counts before beginning to sing the opening lyrics.

_There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea, you became the light on the dark side of me… _

_End Chapter 30_


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 31 - Unimportant

May 20, 1995

"Damn it!"

"Grab that gel stuff!"

"I'm looking for it! He usually keeps it in his pocket!"

"Well get it!"

"I can't find it!"

"Here, Plucky, go grab a soda, juice, anything!"

Wakko swallowed while feeling Max and Buster clutching his arms so hard he was worried they were going to yank them off his body. Half supported by them he felt Max let go of his arm momentarily and shove some money in Plucky's hand.

Well, at least they were getting along better. Nothing like seeing one of your friends start to collapse in a heap to instill a real sense of teamwork.

Wakko felt himself half-fall and half-helped to the ground by Buster as the rabbit turned and began yelling after Plucky who had begun to speed off at Max's order.

"And not di- "

"Diet! Not diet! I know!" Plucky yelled over his shoulder, already a green streak moving across the lot.

Wakko dully moved his gaze towards the blue bunny as he began to rifle through his jacket pockets. Max had moved off to speak to a man walking past; Wakko heard the phrase 'not sick' and 'none of your business' and hoped Max was able to get the man away. After a moment the man, some human Wakko had seen around the lot a few times moved off in the direction Plucky had run. Wakko watched Max come and kneel beside him, talking to himself.

It was weird; he was watching it, he knew what was happening, he could feel Buster taking stuff out of his pocket while quietly swearing at him under his breath. But at the same time he felt like he was watching this happening to someone else.

But he knew.

Hypoglycemia.

Damn it - he was usually careful. He skipped his snack but he honestly didn't think it would be that big a deal. Of course he missed his shot too. And they were really late for lunch. That couldn't be helped; they were in the middle of a game and he didn't think one missed shot and meal would be a big cause for concern.

Apparently it was though; that's why he was sitting against the fence watching everyone run around like a bunch of nuts.

Run around.

He was hiding; he and Plucky had both chosen to go hide near the empty field. Max was 'it'. He wondered if they paused the game or if he and Plucky were officially 'caught'. He guessed the game was paused; normally when one of them was 'caught' they just didn't signify that with a light tag. That was too boring.

Oh no, they usually malleted the 'caught' one. If the person was malleted he was usually stunned for a few minutes, giving the former pursuer plenty of time to get away and hide. He had just malleted Max too, like maybe five minutes ago.

Yakko said though he needed to eat, especially if he was running around more than usual. And he had been; they were playing 'hide and seek' now, but they had been running around all day. And the day before; everyone was staying at the tower for the weekend. Mr. Bunny called it a gift from above; Yakko said he was doing penance for previous misbehavior.

Up until about a minute and a half ago Wakko had been calling it a good time.

And he felt it coming on; he knew. He stared shaking and getting dizzy, but he ignored it. He felt himself getting one heck of a headache and he ignored that too because he was afraid of getting 'caught' and he was just it.

He was such an idiot. By the time he started to get clumsy and confused, it was too late and he collapsed at Max's feet like a bag of rocks.

At least Max didn't get the chance to mallet him. Max had popped up around the corner with a 'gotcha Mime!' and Wakko had sort of turned and stumbled. To his credit, Max seemed to figure out fairly quickly that something was wrong. He had put his mallet away and started hollering for the others to get over there.

Wakko wondered again if he was 'it'.

"Give him a shot from that emergency glucose thing!" Max said harshly.

"Dipshit, he's not unconscious!" Buster snapped. "He's looking at us now!"

_So nice of you to finally notice._

"He needs sugar," Buster said firmly, holding the glucose kit in his hands momentarily before putting it on the ground. "He's not having a seizure…he can eat so I'm not giving him a shot. Hold on Wak, Plucky's coming with something, OK?"

"I'm right here," Wakko muttered. "Just give me stuff…in my Hammerspace…"

"Yeah, and I can just reach into it and grab stuff out of it," Buster said.

_Oh. Right._

Wakko struggled to think. He remembered tossing the stuff in his Hammerspace even though he knew to keep it on him and accessible. His friends knew where he kept it; he had told them a long time ago. If something happened to him, they knew were to get it. Sort of like Max's EpiPen.

Too bad he didn't do it the one time he actually needed it.

"Damn it you usually keep it in your jacket!" Buster said, moving to digging through his jeans pockets. "That's what you told me!"

"Moved it…washed jacket…"

"Sugar?" Max asked. "I got sugar! Here."

Wakko watched him pull something out of his pocket. Lifesavers or some other candy.

Lifesavers…What a name. He wondered if a diabetic named those things.

"Wakko. Wakko," Max repeated, waving his hands in his face. "Damn it I gotta put it in his mouth don't I?"

Weakly Wakko said, "What is it?"

Or he tried anyway; his speech sounded slurred to his own ears. And he was pretty sure he drooled a little.

Gross. And embarrassing.

How come he was the one that got stuck with this problem? He tried to do what he was supposed to; he watched what he ate. He usually took his shots. He mostly remembered to check his blink.

Just one time putting it off…now he looked like a moron in front of his friends.

Where the hell was Plucky with that drink? He'd never been so thirsty in his life.

Wasn't he going to get some candy? Max had candy.

Wakko closed his eyes for a second; his headache was getting worse and a few people were walking across the lot ahead of them. Hopefully they wouldn't stop to see what was going on.

"Shit, I'm gonna get Mime drool on my hand," Max muttered. "I better not ever hear him say - "

"Gimmie it," Wakko said, opening his eyes and concentrating on getting each syllable out correctly. "I just - "

He cut off when he felt something shoved into his mouth, put between his top lip and gum.

A Lifesaver.

Yuck. And Max's finger.

"I got slimed," Max muttered.

"Give me those!" Buster said, snatching the small ragged roll out of his startled hands. "Open up Wak, you gotta eat a few of these."

"Max's hand…tastes like things I…don't wanna think about…"

"Fuck you Mime," Max snorted before grabbing his arm. "Come on and sit up before you choke on the stupid thing. Where the hell is Plucky?"

"There," Wakko said, wincing as Buster roughly shoved another candy in his mouth. That and the headache he got from nodding his head in the direction of the green duck running toward them made him want to curl in the fetal position and die. Or hurl, he couldn't decide which.

Maybe panic. Plucky had someone with him.

Yakko.

Shit.

"Lemme stand - "

"Be quiet before I sit on you," Buster said. "And eat another one of these things." Shoving another candy in Wakko's mouth he added, "Hurry up and get better. I can't kick your ass for this if you're half-unconscious."

"Didn't do it on purpose," Wakko muttered, crunching on the candy before stopping.

Yakko said he read somewhere he was supposed to suck on them. And Yakko was probably going to be irritated with him enough. He didn't want to get yelled at for crunching on the candy.

Yakko didn't look too ticked off though. Wakko watched as he skidded to a panting halt in front of them. Bodily picking up both Buster and Max he deposited them on the other side of him before kneeling down, half pulling him in his lap.

"Wak? Kiddo? Come on - "

"I'm fine," Wakko muttered.

_Worrywart. _

"Yeah, you look great," Yakko said. "Plucky, give me that soda."

Wakko, embarrassed about sitting in Yakko's lap with his friends watching, tried to sit up before noticing the can was Cherry Coke.

He shouldn't be surprised. Much like himself, Plucky loved Cherry Coke. Wakko didn't get to drink it often, but Plucky did, every chance he got. His stupid hyperactive ass slurped the stuff down like it belonged to one of the basic food groups. Between that and his ADHD it was no wonder he was usually bouncing off the wall. Wakko hoped the duck never discovered espresso; there'd be no controlling him.

Wakko heard Yakko open the can before he muttered a few curses as the shook up soda exploded out onto him and gave a quiet snicker. Yakko liked soda himself; spilled soda probably was an unforgivable sin to him. He heard Plucky mutter 'sorry' and then felt the cold aluminum of the can pressed to his lips.

He scowled; he was able to drink by himself. The Lifesavers were starting to work. It was a temporary fix and he felt far from great but he was pretty sure he could hold the can by himself.

"Lemme - "

"Quiet. Sip."

He rolled his eyes, then instantly regretted the movement. It made his headache worse. Of course breathing was making his headache worse. He complied though, feeling the sugary liquid seeping down his throat.

He'd feel better in a while; it wasn't the first time he had this problem. Usually he acted before it got this bad. The last few times he had this problem though he wasn't in the middle of a game like 'hide and seek' either.

But Yakko always panicked; he never lost his head during the actual incident, but he always worried about it afterwards.

And he would ask tons of questions. 'What did you do?' 'What did you not do?' 'What could you have done differently?' 'What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again?' 'Are you trying to give me grey hair?'

Then he'd want to call the doctor. The first time he had a case of low blood sugar Yakko had him rushed to the hospital in a panic. The only thing that had accomplished was panicking Dot. Wakko hadn't wanted to panic Dot but he wasn't real upset - him being at the hospital meant he got to miss a day of tutoring which worked out. He had a test with that witch Flameil.

Going to the hospital sucked, but a missed day with Flameil…He always tried to look for a silver lining.

After the doctor told him that wasn't necessary to do every time, Yakko had calmed somewhat when he had little incidents with his 'problem'. But not calm enough; the rest of the day he'd be up his butt checking on him.

Wakko sighed, taking another sip of the soda and finally managing to struggle off of Yakko's lap enough to sit up on his own, feeling Yakko's hands tighten momentarily before reluctantly letting him go.

The game was probably over; Yakko probably wouldn't let him continue to run around. Chances were since this incident was worse than normal Yakko wouldn't let him out of the tower the rest of the day.

And why the hell were the others glaring at him?

Not really caring much as he felt his headache beginning to ebb he slowly tried to stand. Still shaky and jittery he stumbled, then felt Yakko picking him up and he weakly tried to kick him.

"Just stop Wakko," Yakko said, cradling him against his chest. Turning to look at the others briefly he added, "Let's go you nuts, I was wondering where you four went."

"We were in the middle of a game," Wakko said, shrugging his shoulders as much as he was able to.

"If you tell me you didn't eat because we were playing - " Buster said.

"Well, it was only a few hours and I didn't really think - "

"That seems to be an ongoing issue with you," Buster muttered.

Wakko raised his hand and gave Buster the finger, earning a snort from Max.

"Hey, Bunny's right Mime, which amazes me. You should have said something, we could have paused the game to eat," Max said in an annoyed tone. "Then I wouldn't have gotten drool on my hand and lost my Lifesavers," he added in a mutter.

"You're one of the richest kids in ToonTown," Plucky muttered at him. "Shut up and just buy more."

"That means I have to go to the store asshole - "

"Max just…just stop," Yakko sighed. "I'll replace your candy..."

"It's not the candy I'm pissed about," Max muttered quietly. "How come none of my friends have any damn sense?"

"Hey!" Buster said.

"Guys, let's get you fed, please," Yakko said wearily. "Should have known…Look, you did what you were supposed to," he said. "Thank you. Really; if Wakko's got to hang out with a bunch of screwballs, I'm glad it's you three."

Wakko relaxed slightly; Yakko didn't seem too mad and he complimented his friends. And he was right, they did do what they were supposed to. Handle the situation as much as they were able, get some sugar in him and find an 'adult' - or Yakko, who was pretty much an adult anyway - to take over.

"As for you," Yakko said, turning to look at him. "You skip a meal and a shot to play? How careless can you be?"

"Or thoughtless". Wakko heard Plucky mutter while sending him a glare before muttering about an eleven-year-old having a coronary from being scared to death.

Wakko sighed again, half listening to Yakko lecture on how he needed to be more responsible. He caught something about _**'**_how playing around now could have lasting effects on what happened to him later in life even if he thought he was invincible' before just going limp in Yakko's arms as they approached the tower. Meanwhile, the others were still glaring at him and making threats about what they planned on doing to him once he felt better.

He hoped his friends were joking; some of the stuff actually sounded painful. He had to hand it to them though; they were creative. And Max and Plucky, while they hadn't exactly been at war since Monty punched Plucky, seemed to take the new idea of 'what can we do to get revenge on Wakko for scaring the shit out of us' game to whole new heights.

The idea of kicking his ass seemed to really tighten the bond between them. Wakko scowled at the two of them; wasn't that nice? The idea of beating him senseless at least got them away from the idea of trying to kill each other. They were still friends but things had been sort of tense lately... Max's idea of shoving his mallet up Wakko's ass sideways seemed to really delight Plucky.

Yakko on the other hand really needed to lighten up; it was one time. Nothing happened, he was going to eat now and probably have a headache for the rest of the day. No one saw anything. He didn't need to rush him to the hospital. And he didn't need to carry him; Wakko hid his face in Yakko's chest a few times as they attracted a few looks, hoping that no one figured out what happened or tried to snap a picture.

When he protested again though Yakko said he deserved to be embarrassed with this latest stunt; maybe it would teach him some responsibility. Wakko shut up; he'd had the 'responsibility' lecture enough to last a lifetime.

Big brothers were pains. And Dot always wondered what he was complaining about half the time. One of these days she'd see. Maybe.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 10, 1995

"Come on Dot-"

"No Yakko!"

Dot slammed her bedroom door, still fuming at her oldest brother and hoping that he wouldn't follow her in. She honestly didn't want to talk to him right now.

Unless he was coming in to say she was right of course. He could come in and talk all evening if he was going to do that.

But he wouldn't because he was being a jerk.

After a few seconds she heard him give a soft knock. Before she could even yell at him to go away again the door opened and she rolled her eyes. Yakko had a look on his face, part determined, part annoyed, part begging.

He wasn't going to concede, admit she was right and that he was just the writers' 'yes man' and this whole thing was a horrible idea and he should have just taken that script and thrown it right back in their face.

Taking another look at his face Dot turned her back on him and said, "You're supposed to wait until I say come in! You said I had to do that with you and Wakko!"

"This is different," Yakko said in his insufferably calm and rational way. "You just went in. Besides, I knew you wouldn't let me in anyway."

"So why did you?" Dot demanded.

"Because I'm the oldest," Yakko replied.

_Oh, that's fair. No wonder Wakko complains half the time._

Angry, Dot stomped to her bed, throwing herself face down on the pink and white duvet and ignoring the button-eyes on the teddy bear that were currently shoving into her stomach. She heard Yakko slowly come toward the bed, the script they had been fighting about the last few days rustling in his hands.

Unbelievable. Sure, Wakko would argue over scripts; she'd never forget the original 'gag-bag' fiasco. But that was just Wakko worried about his stupid pride. She had never argued about a script they had done.

Yes, there were several she hadn't cared for and there were other times that she wondered why they featured just Yakko or Wakko and why she rarely got to do an entire skit by herself but she had never really complained. She never argued, she had never refused to do a skit. Yakko had enough to worry about without her complaining or giving him a headache over some new bit of trouble; he had Wakko for that.

This was different; this was insulting. It was tasteless. She never thought the writers would be this cruel. She never thought Yakko would be this cruel. She never thought Yakko would expect her to be that heartless.

She felt the bed give as Yakko sat down on it and she stiffened slightly when he put his hand on her back and began rubbing it.

"Go away Yakko," she yelled, ignoring the fact that screaming while face down in a pillow covered in pictures of unicorns probably wouldn't be considered too threatening to Yakko.

"Come on Dot, please? Look, it's not that bad! I have to wear bright yellow jammies – you think I'm excited about that?"

Dot brought her head up off the pillow and turned to look at Yakko, who was grinning at her.

He was trying to joke? That was even worse.

"You don't get it! This isn't funny!"

With another glare she brought her head back down to the pillow. If she couldn't see him she could at least pretend that her oldest brother wasn't being a total selfish jerk. Even Wakko had agreed with her a bit and that was rare, though Wakko had caved the first time he saw Yakko's look.

How could Yakko be like this?

She heard Yakko sigh before he started talking again. He must have realized that for once his jokes weren't going to help.

"Look, Dot please, just listen to me. I tried to get us out of it; I agreed you're right. It is in bad taste. But it's just one script-"

"Yeah, one script," Dot snorted into the pillow and interrupting Yakko. "A nice song to make death and destruction fun. A song about the earthquake? I can't wait to see what the next one is. Maybe they can write a funny song about the Black Plague or the Titanic sinking or horrible auto accidents-"

She almost bit off her tongue trying to shut up at that one. She was complaining about the writers being tasteless and what she just said was cruel. Yes, Yakko was OK now but it was doubtful for awhile that he might not be. How could she say something like that?

"Dot, they weren't trying to be cruel when they wrote this," Yakko replied.

Dot was thankful that he was choosing to ignore what she had just said.

"I talked to the writers," he continued, "but they think it's funny and educational. It's not going to be changed and this is our job," he said. "Come on; last season was nonexistent. They finally got going and wrote us a ton of scripts; let's just work with them OK? Work with me please? We start filming again in two weeks. Come on; you said yourself you wanted to get back to filming."

She groaned into her pillow; she recognized Yakko's pleading tone. She used it herself on him all the time. However, it stunk when Yakko turned the tables and used her own tricks on her. How unfair could he be?

She sat up, glancing at him before turning her head and crossing her arms.

"It's sickening! It's not right! It's-"

"Our job," Yakko repeated. "I didn't exactly get a kick out of wearing that hideous yellow dress in Chalkboard Bungle and singing, but I did it!"

Dot clenched her fists and retorted with, "But you complained about it the entire time! If you played the piano better maybe you would have gotten to do that and Wakko would have-"

"But I don't. And I did it," he replied. Yakko reached down to the floor and picked up the script and tried to hand it to Dot. "And you're going to do this."

Turning her nose up at it she refused to take it, hoping if she stood her ground for once even under his glare maybe he'd listen to her.

Glancing back at Yakko and seeing him shaking the script at her she sat on her hands. She didn't want to make him mad; she went out of her way most times not to make him mad, but on this…she couldn't budge. She wouldn't.

She was standing up for herself even if Yakko's glare was making her want to hide under her bed and beg for him to forgive her. She knew she was right. And he'd realize it too, sooner or later.

"I'm not! And you can't make me!"

That wasn't entirely true, Yakko could be pretty persuasive but 'you can't make me' was the only argument she had left.

Yakko leaned down so that his nose was touching hers. Dot, steeling her nerves managed to sit up straighter. Yakko was getting annoyed with her.

"Wouldn't count on that sibling; I can make you do the skit."

Dot narrowed her eyes at him. "I won't."

"Dot, please, don't give me a hard time - I've had a bad day - "

"Bet those people who got hurt or killed had a bad day too," she muttered. "Can't I give them some sympathy?"

"Dot…"

"I'm not going to do it!" She yelled, jumping up on the bed to try to get in his face. It didn't work; even with the bed giving her added height she still wasn't as tall as him. "I won't! Nothing you can do will change that!"

When Yakko narrowed his eyes at her she decided on a different tactic.

"Come on Yakko! You saw it! You were there! I can't believe that you'd even consider doing this! Even Wakko said he thought it was tasteless, and from a guy who thinks farting is highbrow comedy that's saying something!"

"True, but I've already talked to Wakko."

"No you threatened to ground him and he's such a wimp - "

"I agreed it's tasteless," he said slightly louder, talking over her. "I'm not arguing about this. We're doing it."

When Yakko spoke in that tone, it usually meant his mind was made up. She wasn't going to let that stop her. She wouldn't do it.

"You can, I'm not," she said, crossing her arms and turning her back on Yakko.

"Fine," Yakko said finally, a hard tone to his voice. "Right now you won't do it. But you will. And until that happy time comes when you stop being a stubborn brat you can stay in here."

_What?_

"I'm…grounded?" She asked, almost stumbling over the word.

_I never get grounded! That's Wakko's department!_

She turned to look at Yakko, while wondering if it was some sort of joke. It didn't appear to be, he wasn't smiling.

"Until you decide to do your job, yes."

"That's not fair!"

Yakko shrugged and said, "It's the same thing Wakko gets when he doesn't want to learn his lines."

"That's different!" Dot yelled, standing on her bed and stomping her foot. "It's nothing like that!"

"Yeah, his problem is usually either being lazy or goofing off. You're deliberately refusing to do this."

_That's true. _

"Fine. I'll stay in here and starve," Dot huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from him.

"I didn't say you couldn't eat," Yakko snorted. "Have I ever starved you?"

Dot glanced over her shoulder and saw that Yakko looked a bit hurt. No he had never starved her; Wakko either. She was pretty sure there were times when they were younger that he didn't eat so that they could. Now she wasn't being fair.

He was being less fair though. And if she could use it to get her way, so be it.

"Well, I'm not going to eat. Not until you get us out of this skit."

"It's not gonna happen Dot!" He snapped. "Why aren't you even trying to understand this?" Yakko stood and put the script on the bed next to her. "Let me know when you're ready to rehearse this."

Dot stared at the script like it was a large pile of dirty socks before saying, "Never."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged, walking toward the door. "We're having tacos for dinner."

"You said before we were having hotdogs!"

_Darn. Tacos. How can I not eat if he's making tacos?_

"I changed my mind," he replied. "In the meantime, stay in here, learn the script."

"This is bullshit," Dot muttered quietly, using one of Wakko's favorite expressions. Normally she wouldn't have said it, but this time it was justified.

She winced when she felt Yakko grab her arm and give her a swat on her rear end. It didn't hurt, but it was surprising.

Dot marveled at her own rebelliousness. A swat and grounded all in one day. Wakko would be proud.

Yakko spun her around and picked her up so that they were nose to nose. She tried not to cringe back from his angry expression but it was hard. He rarely got that angry with her and seeing the look directed at her was unsettling.

"Don't push your luck Dorothy. The kitchen floor hasn't been scrubbed in awhile. Don't think you won't spend the weekend with a sponge in your hand."

Pouting, she nodded at the threat and the use of her full name, a sure sign that Yakko had been pushed to his last nerve. It was bad enough she was already in trouble; she wasn't willing to continue to fight with him, not right now.

"Don't leave this room until I tell you. Learn the script; dinner will be ready in awhile."

Depositing her gently on the bed he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door harder than need be and leaving her alone.

Feeling tears stinging at her eyes she grabbed her pillow off the bed and hugged it. She never got in trouble, not like this. She wasn't trying to be bad, but didn't anyone think she had a point? Wakko had agreed but instantly shut down at the first threat from Yakko, something he rarely did. Wakko appeared to go out of his way to get in trouble if his track record was any indication.

She never caused trouble, at least not on the grandiose scale that Wakko did. She would have hoped that just her reputation of not balking every time she had a problem with a script would have helped. Wakko always complained that the show made him look like an idiot half the time, some voracious vacuum that inhaled food and said moronic things.

Some of the scripts weren't all that flattering to her either; she got shown as a one-dimensional thing, simply concerned about how cute she was and that was about it. And while she was certainly concerned about looking her best, it didn't consume her entire day. She could sing, dance, speak well, read well above her age level, was on her way to becoming a well known model, a decent rider, could sew well considering her age, but no one ever knew that about her. They just saw the girl with a flower in her hair, even her own brother apparently. All he saw was the younger sister he could boss around.

She'd show him; if she was fighting this much about it, about something she believed in, he was going to listen, she'd make him.

Somehow.

Wiping at her eyes with her hand she reached out and grabbed the script, looking at the lyrics.

_A few hours before morning, without a single warning, something strange begins to move the floor…_

Oh, hilarious. The lighter side of natural disasters.

With a sob she tossed the script down to the end of the bed, knocking over several stuffed animals that had been sitting there staring blankly at her.

All those people hurt, killed, lost everything they ever owned and they wanted to make a joke about it? Yakko said it was supposed to be educational and funny.

She thought it was extremely tasteless, crude – they were making a joke about something that frightened her, could have killed her, her family, someone she knew or loved.

The writers had some scripts from the previous season that hadn't been filmed due to Yakko getting hurt and lots of news ones they wrote for this season. It wasn't like not recording a three minute song was going to destroy the show.

It was pointless and she wasn't going to do it. He couldn't make her.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Dot! Dinner's ready! You gotta come out!"

Dot started at the pounding at her door and raised her head up from the pillow and stretched. She must have fallen asleep; she could feel some crust in the corner of her eyes and she rubbed at them groggily.

She started to jump off the bed to run out; she could smell tacos. Then she remembered.

Her strike. She wasn't going to eat. Besides, she was 'grounded'; she wrinkled her nose at the word. She'd been grounded for almost an hour now and the word still seemed alien to her, at least in connection with herself.

She wouldn't leave her room, even if she was hungry.

"I'm not hungry!"

Which was a lie – she was starving. But she was going to prove her point. The only way he'd make her eat was if he force fed her and she didn't think that would happen. She tried to ignore the rumbling in her stomach as Wakko knocked again, hard and constant which was obnoxious.

"Yakko said you gotta come out anyway and he doesn't care if you're on a hunger strike or not!"

"I'm not coming because I'm not eating!" She yelled back at the door as Wakko continued to pound at it.

She laid back down on the bed, squishing the pillow over her ears. That wouldn't be good; if she went out and sat at the table, she would eat. She knew she would. Yakko made good tacos and if she even saw them, let alone smelled them, she'd break down and eat.

That wasn't really the best way to begin a hunger strike, by eating directly in front of the one she was supposed to be striking against. And if he was able to get her to eat, she knew by the end of the night he would have somehow talked her into just being quiet, doing the song and not even trying to get the studio to come up with a better skit.

She couldn't break down – Yakko had talked to her and Wakko awhile ago about doing what was right even if it wasn't always the most popular choice. Well, not doing the song wasn't winning her any points right now, but she knew she was in the right.

She squished the pillow tighter around her ears as Wakko began to slap the door, his palm making a 'splat' sound against it.

"Come on Dot, just come out and - "

"Go away Wakko! You're with him anyway!"

He was. Jerk. Too afraid to stand up for something he believed in. She was mad at Yakko and she wasn't very happy with Wakko, he had abandoned her almost before Yakko got mad. She was in no mood to talk to him either.

"Can I come in?"

"No!" She yelled at the closed door. "Go eat tacos with Yakko and sing about death and mayhem!"

"Come on Dot!" Wakko hissed quietly through the door. "I don't want to go back there without you. He's already in a bad mood –"

"Good!"

"-and it's your fault!"

"My fault?" Dot questioned. "It's not my fault he's an insensitive heartless forgetful clod who would rather swallow his morals that he's always lecturing us about and –"

"Look, just let me in! I don't want to stand here and yell - "

"So don't!" Sniffing Dot wiped at her eyes again. "Just go away!"

He didn't of course; he just kept pounding on the door. Wakko had a rare talent for being annoying.

"Oh all right!" Dot finally yelled, irritated. "Stop knocking already!"

The knocks ceased and Dot breathed a sigh of relief at the silence. After a few seconds the door opened a crack and Wakko hesitantly peeked in and looked at her.

"You're not gonna throw something at me are you?"

"I should!" She snapped, grabbing her pillow and hugging it to her chest.

"Why are you ticked off at me?" He asked. "You got yourself in trouble; I didn't help - "

"No, you didn't! You saw me arguing with Yakko," she said, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen. "Instead of helping me or standing your ground against something you know is wrong you took the easy way out and folded like a house of cards."

"Get real Dot," Wakko snorted, coming in and closing the door behind him. "You think missing a meal is going to get Yakko to change his mind? He made tacos because of you - "

"I don't care!" She said, trying not to think of them. Instead she grumbled, "Bet all those people who are homeless would like his stupid tacos but I bet he doesn't care about - "

"Hey, he's the one that dragged me down there to volunteer at your little shelter thing."

"You said you liked it!"

"I said I didn't mind it that much," Wakko argued. "But Yakko obviously did care or he wouldn't have volunteered or donated some money."

She actually hadn't known he donated any money and Yakko gained exactly one brownie point for the act. It still didn't change the anger she was currently feeling towards him.

Towards this brother either.

"Fine, he cared then but he doesn't care now. So go away."

"What'd I do?" Wakko said indignantly. "Just because I wasn't going to get in trouble for something so minor- "

"Since when do you care about getting in trouble?"

"Well, I do try not to," Wakko said, sounding offended.

"Well, I couldn't tell," she muttered. "You spend more time in trouble than not."

"Actually, I think I just try more not to get caught, but I don't wake up every morning planning out how to get Yakko mad. It just sort of happens," Wakko continued, finishing off with a shrug.

"Obviously I don't either," Dot huffed. "I figured with my reputation, not getting in trouble or causing it, he'd listen to me but no, of course not. I'm just the little sister who should do what I'm told. It's not like I have thoughts or reasons."

"Look Yakko said your reasons are OK, but he said we still have to do the skit no matter how bad we think it is - "

"I didn't think it was bad," Dot said firmly. "I said it's mean and heartless and I don't want any part of it."

"Fine. Let's just go eat OK?"

Dot watched Wakko for a moment. He was busy chewing on his lip and not looking at her which meant he was nervous; she'd picked up on his little quirk ages ago. He was also fidgeting; either he had to go to the bathroom or he agreed and was too stubborn to admit she was right and he should join in her protest.

Wakko wasn't cruel, he knew she was right. He'd already said she was. He'd been all for protesting until Yakko bullied him into submission. Now, Wakko just needed to be pushed back in the right direction.

And having two thirds of the Warner team on strike would pretty much assure that Yakko would have to listen to her; the studio too.

Deciding that a little prodding was in order she reached out and gently touched Wakko's arm, getting his attention.

"Think about it Wakko; a lot of people who watch our show lived through it, lost everything they had. What's that going to say to them, about what we think of them?"

"Uh…"

"And people died!"

"I was there, I know," Wakko muttered.

"And then the studio wants us to sing a song – you're OK with that?"

"Well…"

Not able to stop her voice from raising some, Dot demanded, "Are you that selfish? That mean and evil? Don't you feel bad at all about - "

"Course I do!" Wakko exclaimed, looking aghast at the thought that he didn't feel bad.

_Good._

"So help me! If the two of us - "

"Dot, why fight it?" He sighed. "What can we really do? If Yakko says do it, we do it and he's not changing his mind."

_We'll see about that._

"We can change it. You and me," she said, batting her eyes at him while clutching his sleeve. "Please? You can help change his mind! If both of us refuse - "

"Dot no," he whined. "It's not every day that you're the one in trouble and not me! Come on, let me enjoy this."

Dot crossed her arms and glared at him, gloating to herself. The move always worked on Wakko when Yakko did it. Apparently she could use it almost as effectively because Wakko seemed to be weakening.

"Can't I join in the next time you want to take a stand against Yakko? I wanna go to Busters this weekend, not spend it scrubbing and polishing because I got Yakko mad at me." Nodding and starting to get off the bed he added, "Yeah, promise, I'll get people to sign stuff and I'll carry a sign saying 'Yakko Stinks' and everything - "

Sensing she was losing him Dot grabbed his arm before he was able to stand.

"Wakko come on! How often do I ask you to help me?"

"All the time!" He moaned. "If you need a prank pulled, who do you ask? When you broke all those glasses in the cafeteria who took the blame? When Molly was feeling blue or whatever her problem was who'd you have go tell her she looked cute and sweet-"

"I paid you five dollars for doing that!" She exclaimed.

It had been worth it; Molly had perked right up after that. Getting compliments - even from her idiot brother - always made Molly feel better.

Wakko wasn't listening to her though; he was on a roll listing off everything he had ever done in a desperate attempt to avoid helping.

"Or if you need help on homework- "

"I go to Yakko," she said snidely, tired of listening to him. "I want to pass."

"You come to me with your Math stuff!"

"True, but you come to me with English stuff so don't even pull that." Sighing she said, "Even you said yourself that you didn't want to do the song."

"Actually I said I thought it was a crock of shit since everyone was there and saw what happened," he grumbled. "But again, what are we going to do? I can't join in on your hunger strike. I have a little problem, remember?" he said, miming injecting his arm with a needle.

As if she'd ever forget.

"I don't want that!" She said fearfully before hugging him around the neck. She didn't want Wakko getting sick again; him going to the hospital was the last thing she wanted to see. "No, I'll do the hunger strike myself."

"You're too tiny not to eat," he snorted. "Besides, if you see tacos you're gonna go nuts and eat them anyway so you should just come out and - "

"No. I'm not going out. I'm not sitting at the same table as him."

"How come I gotta be in the middle of everything?" Wakko muttered. "Middle Warner kid, middle of a fight between the Warner kids – "

"You're not in the middle," she said. "Because you're on my side."

"I don't want to be on anyone's side!" Wakko groused. "I don't want to do the song, but Yakko says we do it and I don't want to make him mad. I think you're right and I don't want to make you mad. And I told you before he was in a bad mood but you went ahead and bothered him anyway and look what happened. Can't you just leave me out of it?"

"On this you gotta pick a side and you gotta pick me."

"Why is life full of 'you gotta do something'?" Wakko mumbled. "Why can't life be full of 'you don't gotta do anything just do what you feel like'?"

"You know I'm right Wakko!" Dot said, getting annoyed with him again and trying to push the feeling back. He wouldn't join her if she made him mad by saying he was stupid, even if right now he was being an idiot. "My reasons – "

"I've had good reasons for not wanting to do some skits or something and they never listened or changed anything."

"You don't want to do half the stuff they write."

"If they made you look mentally retarded you wouldn't be in a big hurry to do them either. Even my own friends don't think I have any sense sometimes."

"Oh yeah, and the stuff they write for me, some little girl screaming how cute she is all the time, that's flattering." Crossing her arms with a pout she added, "No one thinks I have anything important to say or have any brains."

"That's not true," Wakko argued. "I said I think you're right – "

"Then help me!" Almost crawling on him she grabbed his shirt and shook him while saying, "I thought you would understand! You said before you were tired of only being portrayed as some ding-a-ling, even though off the show you really are a ding-a-ling. It's the same for me – not only do I think this song is awful, I don't like being portrayed as some selfish vain thing all the time, no one takes me seriously! Just last week Diego told everyone that I wouldn't groom Candy Apple because I was afraid of breaking a nail when I was in the bathroom." Inhaling she yelled, "I don't have nails!"

"Ah! Don't yell it in my face!" Wakko said, pushing her off him. "And who the hell is Diego?"

"Some boy that takes riding lessons too. He said - "

"I think it's better that all my friends are on a show," Wakko said. "I don't put up with that stuff as much. They know what I'm going through; they deal with it too. You though, you're around more people that aren't stars."

Dot sat back on the bed and watched him struggle with himself. She understood he didn't want to get in trouble; she felt the same way, though she was pretty unfamiliar with the feeling. She would have thought he'd be used to it by now. At the same time Wakko agreed with her; even Yakko said he agreed even if he wouldn't do anything about it.

Wakko though, he'd do something, even if it was just join in her little one-girl protest. But if nothing else, Wakko was creative, he'd cause all sorts of problems and probably enjoy it.

She thought about that as Wakko struggled internally about what he should do. She was positive he would come to her side, since he was already half-way there, plus she was giving him the most adorable pout she could muster up. Wakko wasn't quite the sucker that Yakko was, but deep down, she knew she could usually pull one on him too.

He was right though, most of his friends were big stars. No matter how much they picked on him or each other, they all understood each other's complaints. Scripts that sometimes portrayed you in an unflattering light, early set times, long hours, people being mean to you because of who you were or because of a character you portrayed…

She was around more kids that weren't stars. Diego was a nasty little cat toon that was a couple years older than her. While he and his friend at the stable were the only ones that had said anything really rude to her, every now and then she ran into someone that seemed to want to be mean to her for no other reason than because she was 'Dot Warner'.

Yakko said sometimes they said that stuff because she was famous and they were jealous, but every now and then she thought it was also because of how she was portrayed on the show. If all they saw was a vain selfish girl, that would be how they treated her. Sometimes, people had a hard time telling the difference between the character and the real girl.

"All right," Wakko said finally with a sigh, pulling Dot out of her musings. "I'll tell Yakko I won't do it either."

"Oh Wakko," Dot yelped, throwing herself back on Wakko and knocking them both off the bed onto the floor. Luckily Wakko managed to cushion her fall. "I knew I could count on you! Eventually. You'll see, with the two of us - "

"This sucks," he muttered while she climbed off him. "Thanks to you I'm gonna be stuck here with Yakko on the warpath and have to scrub everything in sight."

"I'll help you," Dot said. "Whatever he gives you I'll do. I'll even do your regular chores this week."

She could afford to be generous; she had gotten her way after all. She hoped she could carry the garbage; the can got heavy.

"But you gotta eat," he warned, looking slightly happier at the promise of an easy week. "I'm doing this no matter how stupid it is and how pissed off it's gonna make Yakko, so you got to quit the dumb not eating idea. Because then you're going to get sick and Yakko's not going to be mad at you when you're sick and I'll be the one holding the bag."

Satisfied, she nodded, clasping her hands together and beaming. She knew if she persisted she'd get her way. Dot looked down at her less than pleased brother before walking toward the door.

"Well come on," she ordered. "You were in such a hurry to eat. Let's go out and see Yakko."

"I already want to strike from this strike," Wakko mumbled, standing up.

Dot ignored his muttering and sighing. She finally had one person convinced she was right, and Wakko could be harder to convince than Yakko sometimes. He was more stubborn.

But if she won him over, she could get Yakko to listen to her too. It just might take awhile and a whole lot of cleaning to convince him of the validity of what she was saying.

She wasn't worried though.

Not much anyway.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Power of the blowfish. Riiight, that's gonna be fun._

_Power of the anteater…oh yeah, that should delight Wakko. He gets to make tons of goofy faces._

_Power of the…what? Platypus? Seriously? _

Yakko raised one eyebrow as he reread Dot's line, then read the rest of the scene before turning the page, scanning the rest of the script. Nope, he hadn't misread - his sister was going to be the Platypus sibling.

If Dot was mad now, just wait till she learned that she was going to have to wear a duck bill for a skit. Hell, maybe she'd be happy; at least her costume was yellow this time. What the hell did the writers smoke during their meetings and how come they never shared? If he was tripping he couldn't have come up with anything goofier than this.

Unable to concentrate on studying the lines, Yakko grabbed his soda and leaned back in the chair, tossing the script down in annoyance. He had time, they weren't due to even begin filming for another week, but he liked learning at least part of the script early. That way his time was freed up for other things, such as chores, homework, lounging around in general, playing with his sibs or helping them with their lines.

Not that any of that mattered much, not right now. Until both of them stopped being stubborn and agreed to do the skit he wasn't going to be able to do much with them.

He could still barely believe Dot was the one acting up this time. Dot, usually well behaved, almost went out of her way to not get in trouble, almost always learned her lines no matter if she liked them or even understood them, never really once fussed or gave him much trouble.

She was the one digging her feet in this time.

Wakko he could understand. Hell, at times he sympathized with his younger brother. Some of Wakko's complaints were valid. Yakko supposed he wouldn't like being portrayed as the weird middle kid. Though in reality Wakko really was the weird middle kid. He loved his brother but damned if Wakko didn't live up to his name sometimes.

But sooner or later he always got Wakko to do whatever skit he was fussing about. Sometimes he simply had to reason with him. Other times it took a bit more persuasion; bribing him was effective. Of course the threat of a life long grounding worked if all else failed.

Dot though…What had gotten into her?

He knew she wasn't happy with some of the skits. Some she didn't like, and he understood. They all had done a few they hadn't been happy with for some reason.

Some she simply didn't understand being as young as she was but playing a much more mature character. He explained what he could to her, why some jokes were funny or if they were doing a parody of something she hadn't seen.

A few though he still refused to explain, at least right now. He was not going to explain to his seven-year-old sister why 'finger Prince' and 'fingerprints' were funny. She had pestered the hell out of him about it when they were filming 'Hercule Yakko'.

The joke was hilarious, something that dirty thrown right in the middle of a children's show, and no child would understand it. Wakko hadn't really understood it either though he was more easily put off than Dot. Yakko had said he would explain it to him when he was older and Wakko had accepted that.

But privately Yakko had almost balked at it. He wasn't a prude - far from it. But He did think the joke involving his baby sister was crude. He had expressed his feelings on the matter to several of the writers.

Mr. Bunny had been sympathetic; he was currently the only writer that had a child Buster's age on an active show. He said there were several jokes that Buster or one of the other children had done that he had raised his own eyebrows at. When they were younger he hadn't explained much to his son.

Buster was now at the age where Mr. Bunny said he could use it to open a line of dialogue with him however and tried to use some of the more risqué jokes they heard on television to keep the lines of communication open.

His suggestion to Yakko had been to keep the conversations regarding that subject with Dot as simple as possible; don't lie, but don't give more detail than she wanted or needed. When she wanted or needed more information he could supply it then.

Yakko had nodded; that was the route he had taken when Wakko had first asked him about sex. He was quite pleased with himself; even unknowingly he had done it correctly, exactly what the older rabbit had done with Buster. The man had actually praised him for being interested in his sibling's development and seemed honored that Yakko had come to him with questions.

He had shrugged; he liked Mr. Bunny and the man, along with Brain had slowly but surely been moving toward the top of his list of friends. Brain had been discussing wedding plans with him at lunch the other day while informing him to expect an invitation in the mail to the upcoming nuptials.

Unlike most women, Gadget seemed to actually want her groom involved in the plans. Like most men though Brain really didn't have much of an opinion regarding invitation designs or cake styles. But he wasn't complaining, his 'jewel' could do no wrong.

Yakko had snickered and wondered what the vows between those two were going to sound like. He envisioned such lines as 'your love glows as bright as a Bunsen Burner in the darkened laboratory of my heart' or 'only Thermodynamics can adequately describe how the look of love in your eyes makes my body respond'.

Brain had shot him a rather alarmed look and quickly changed the subject when Yakko had begun laughing out loud. The mouse had a good sense of humor, if a bit dry, but Yakko doubted Brain would appreciate knowing he was the butt of his internal musings.

He shook his head, trying to get his scattered thoughts in order. The last few days had been trying; Dot was mad at him. He was mad at both his siblings. Wakko just seemed annoyed with everyone and spent most of his time in the bedroom playing some instrument or another.

He felt slightly guilty; he had snapped at both of them a few times now and he hadn't meant to. It wasn't their fault he had a bad day.

Yes, he was mad at them. They knew going into this that at times there were going to be things they wouldn't like doing. He had tried to explain that to them very thoroughly. But this was their job, the whole reason they had the life they did. They could express their feelings on a skit, occasionally if one of them expressed something they didn't like a writer might change a line. But it was rare.

He had explained to both of them countless times that a writer couldn't just go in and erase a line and change it to something else to please them. Channels had to be followed; scripts were approved a long time before they ever reached the star's hands.

He actually liked the song; it was entertaining and could prove to be one of their most memorable skits. But, when looked at from Dot's point of view, yes, it was a little tacky. But again, it was their job. They were going to do it.

He sighed; he probably should have tried to reason more with her. She was being stubborn but she had a point. He had basically yelled at her for expressing her opinion, something he tried to not do. She had just hit him with this at the wrong time and he blew up. Normally he would have tried to reason with her, come up with a better solution. If she still refused to do it then he would have grounded her.

Leaning behind him to put his glass on the counter he reached into his Hammerspace to pull out the number one reason for his bad day.

He still couldn't believe it.

When he had shown up in Bugs' office today, he had been expecting a rather normal day. A bit of studying, some goofing off, lunch, their regular routine. Thankfully, despite how Yakko had acted a few months ago Bugs had seemed to chalk the whole thing up as a lesson learned and let it drop. They were probably closer now than they had been prior to their fight.

Bugs still seemed slightly overprotective at times, but he had eased off some. His biggest complaint now was what he termed Yakko's 'promiscuity'. Yakko had to snort at that one; he was hardly what he would consider a 'man-whore'. Despite the fact that Bugs was a rabbit - a rather promiscuous animal himself - the guy seemed to have the sex life of a Benedictine monk.

But at least Bugs was trying to approach it differently; this time around he talked instead of lecturing. Since the guy was trying this time Yakko actually listened instead of laughing through it which seemed to please Bugs and actually put them both more at ease.

He didn't always agree with what he said but Bugs did have a few points. Up until he brought them up Yakko had never thought about a few of them. But Bugs was right; what he did now could potentially have a huge rippling effect on the rest of his life. If he was mature enough to do it he was mature enough to handle the responsibility that came along with it. Disease or pregnancy could totally derail any goals or dreams he had for a future.

Yakko had blanched at that thought. He was having enough problems just with his siblings; that's all he needed, a baby. He shuddered at the thought; he'd dealt with enough teething and diaper changings already to last a life time.

And Bugs usually started off those conversations with, 'Let's talk for a second doc'. When Yakko had heard it as soon as he stepped into Bugs' office today he had nodded. He promised Bugs when he said something he'd at least listen.

This time though Bugs had stood as well and merely said they needed to go to Plotz's office. Yakko had mentally cringed; if Plotz was going to get in on those conversations he was going to go screaming across the parking lot. He wouldn't be able to stop himself. He'd tolerate it from Bugs, not from Plotz.

Instead when they reached his office the man had seemed rather calm, considering it was Plotz. Instructing him to sit down, Plotz had then silently handed him several sheets of paper, all with envelopes stapled to them.

Frowning Yakko took them, glancing at the envelopes and noticing the large red stamps showing that they had originated from ToonTown.

_Panic Penitentiary  
__Inmate #10503_

Feeling a sense of worry Yakko had quickly turned the stack of papers around, glancing at a few postmarks. One was from almost two years prior, one was from about nine months ago, another was from a week ago.

That wasn't what worried him, not as much as the handwriting, the large shaky unpracticed scrawl of someone who didn't hold writing instruments in their hands often. No matter how many years went by, how many letters he saw, he'd always recognize that.

_Dad…_

No, not even 'Dad' anymore. He was never really a 'dad' to begin with. After never hearing from the man for almost five years, he didn't even deserve that title.

He had been tempted to hand them back to Plotz, tell him to shred them. He wanted to tell him any further mail that came from that address was to be immediately destroyed. His siblings were to never know about them.

Part of him wanted to demand why he had never received them. All of them had received plenty of fan mail that had been opened prior to being put in their hands. The studio was worried about security and routinely did checks of all the mail. Sometimes fanmail was addressed to the studio and had to be opened so it was sent to the right person. Extra care was taken with the younger children's mail, simply because there were a lot of weirdoes out there that might send one of them something 'inappropriate'.

He himself had received some rather racy fan letters; sometimes with pictures included. He had always assumed he wasn't on the 'watch out for weirdoes' list. Some were interesting enough to share with Kit, who got plenty of them himself.

With this though, he had to wonder what else had been kept from him.

Growing angry he had started to demand answers about that, about why something so important had been kept from him but Plotz began speaking, telling Bugs he would handle the situation. The rabbit had bowed out and sat next to Yakko while Plotz had told him that the letters had been intercepted at the studio mailroom, back when 'Animaniacs' was starting.

Any letter from a penitentiary addressed to a star - especially a minor - was always taken. When it was discovered who the letters were from they were immediately given to Mr. Plotz.

He said it had been a group decision - a select group - but was actually his own suggestion to keep them hidden until a more appropriate time. He admitted that he thought Yakko would have enough going on without dealing with a new problem, at least in the beginning of his career. Then their background had come out in the papers. After that it was a busy shooting schedule along with tutoring. Plotz said he was about to bring it up last year but then both he and Bugs had been in the accident and he again made the decision to put it off until now.

The man said he took full responsibility for the decision, which Yakko could respect. He didn't care quite as much for Plotz's attitude, which seemed to consist of 'I made the decision, I stand by it, you'll accept it'.

Yakko didn't fault the man's motivation, but he did fault his methods.

He had simmered for a few minutes, trying to concentrate on what Plotz was saying, that he was old enough and he hoped sufficiently mature enough now to deal with this situation, with some help of course.

With help. Of course. Because he had never proven he could do anything on his own.

Yakko had resisted the urge to leap across the massive desk and throttle the man.

No doubt sensing that Yakko was angered, annoyed, and worried Bugs had finally stepped in, telling Plotz that perhaps they should let Yakko read the letters and get his thoughts on the matter. After all, most of them were addressed to him.

That had actually surprised Yakko - he figured that all of them would have been addressed to him. Doing another quick flip through them though he noticed that a couple were addressed to Wakko. Frowning he noticed that not one seemed to be addressed to Dot.

The man had three children, not two; did he forget that he had a daughter as well?

Yakko had managed to get out a 'thank you' to Plotz, albeit through gritted teeth. The man had actually been more helpful than Yakko liked to admit; at the time he probably wouldn't have wanted or needed the additional stress of dealing with letters or requests from his father.

He really would have liked to have been informed about them before almost two years passed, but sighed. Maybe the man was right. Tight lipped, Plotz had mentioned that if Yakko wanted his opinion he would give it, but would not force it on him. Bugs said the same stood for him; Yakko had the weekend to read the letters if he wished. If he did not choose to do so, he could toss the letters out and ask that any future letters from Panic Pen not be given to him.

Head already spinning at what he expected to find in the letters Yakko had stood to leave, wondering if he was supposed to return to Bugs' office or if he was free to go for the day. Before he was able to even step away from his chair Plotz surprised him by asking him to sit back down; he wished to say something else.

More shocked at being asked to do something by Plotz instead of a demand, Yakko had almost fallen back in his seat while the man began speaking. Bugs had simply teepeed his hands under his chin, elbows resting on the arms of the chair and stayed silent.

Plotz told him the decision to inform Wakko and Dot about any contact from their remaining parent would be left to him. Looking almost horrified at himself, Plotz had added that while the last few years had been rocky, he said that despite himself he was impressed at what Yakko had managed to accomplish. He admitted that he hadn't expected the skinny street urchin that had somehow managed to blunder into his audition to last six months on the lot, let alone be the strongest lead on a hit show going into its third season.

He had yet to hear a complaint about Yakko regarding his work ethics or his tutoring. He appeared to be doing a more than adequate job with his siblings despite the trouble one of them seemed to cause.

He added he was well aware that Wakko was a rambunctious boy, but not more so than any of the other little boys on the lot. He was obviously popular and talented, his grades were adequate and he appreciated Yakko staying on top of him enough to make sure that they were. Plotz added wryly that despite some of the stunts he and the others pulled, he had to admit the boy pulled in a lot of publicity for the studio.

Dot was a mixture of sweet and charming and devilishly clever; exactly what he expected out of an overly bright seven year old. While the publicity she received wasn't quite as outlandish as Wakko's, he often appreciated Dot's more tame approach to getting attention. She was an asset to the studio name and reputation and he hoped she would continue on in the same vein for years to come.

Yakko was obviously doing a decent job so far, displaying a maturity he hadn't expected. Plotz said he could respect that and was agreeable to whatever Yakko decided regarding them.

He had then dropped a bombshell. If - and only if - he continued to receive the same reports regarding Yakko and his siblings, he would consent to a select few being allowed to give him driving lessons when he came of age. If things went well, he would sign off on Yakko being allowed to obtain a driver's license when he reached sixteen. The same rules applied; he wouldn't be able to leave the lot without one of the chaperones. But all the same, he said he realized it was a milestone during the teenage years; after that his next biggest event would be when he turned eighteen.

Despite the nasty shock of having his father roughly shoved back into his life, even if it was just in written form, Yakko had been ecstatic. He had even managed to shake Plotz's hand, despite the fact that his own had been shaking slightly.

His license…he had thought about it of course, what teenager didn't? That was a big step. The first time driving, actually getting behind the wheel of a vehicle instead of climbing in the passenger seat. He had just never dreamed that he would be able to have a chance of actually obtaining his when he turned sixteen. With a touch of regret he had just thought it would be something that he would have to put off until he was eighteen.

Now though, Plotz was actually giving him the opportunity. Not only that, he seemed to have actually earned the man's respect. He obviously had it before if what Plotz had said was any indication, but the man had actually said it out loud, and in front of Bugs. He had a witness if later on he wondered if he had dreamed the whole thing.

Yakko didn't see them becoming friends exactly; he still didn't like the pompous blowhard. Plotz looked like he was choking back bile during the tersely worded speech. But for the first time the man had actually praised him, not only for his own conduct but for pretty much everything that had happened since they had met.

And if he basically just continued to do what he had been doing, he could get his license. No, he couldn't leave without a chaperone, but it was still some semblance of freedom.

Bugs had decided to end classes early; it was an unusual morning. After a long leisurely lunch Bugs had dismissed him, reminding him he was available if he needed to talk, especially after reading the letters.

Yakko had nodded and gone back to the tower, reading the top two letters.

Even now, hours later he could feel himself growing angry.

The nerve of the man…

He sighed and glanced down at the top letter, the very first letter that had been addressed to him.

_I saw you on the television, at the premier. Couldn't believe that my kids were on the screen and it wasn't an episode of 'Cops'. Told all the guys here that those were my kids, how you probably got that sweet gig because of what your old man taught 'ya, how I helped ya on your way to stardom._

_Bet that studio's paying 'ya well right? Looks like ya been eating well, you've grown taller, taken after your Dad. Wakko's looking a little runty, but ya did too at that age. Bet he'll grow tall as you here in awhile. _

_And you sounded good, when you were singing that song. Even Wakko sounded good. Can't tell ya how proud I was seeing my kids on TV singing. All the guys here think it's great; you guys managed to get some of my musical talent, and some from your Mom._

_I still miss your mother. Stupid or not, she was fun, sometimes. Bet you guys miss her too. I know the family got broken apart, but I promise I'll be getting out soon; they can't hold me forever. When I do I'll come get you guys, we'll be a family again._

_Food here ain't bad; I get three squares a day so don't worry about that. Been using the library here, trying to figure out a way to prove my innocence. I aint no lawyer and I can't afford one. Be nice if I could but you gotta have a lot of dough to get a good one._

_You know I'm innocent right? All these false charges they got against me? These cops, they work together, gotta make their quota. You think it's just for tickets? No son, it's like that with arrest too. They picked me up because I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and then - _

The letter had gone on to the next page but Yakko hadn't bothered to finish reading. He was already angry enough that he didn't need to finish it; from what he could tell the letter was some attempt to butter him up enough to have him send money to him, or hire him an attorney.

If nothing else, dealing with Athena had given him some wisdom. He was starting to notice if he was being 'played'. Besides, Dad should realize he couldn't con a con.

He couldn't believe the gall of the man.

'_My kids'. 'Helped them on their way to stardom'. 'Come get you guys'. 'Be a family again'._

Prison must have addled what little bit of a mind he had left. Other than gifting him with his last name he hadn't 'helped' them do anything accept get away from him. The only thing he had managed to do correctly was impregnate their mother three times, and God knew how easy that was to do.

What had truly angered Yakko, had actually sent him from being merely annoyed to an almost enraged state was the fact that he hadn't even mentioned Dot. No comment on seeing her, how she looked, how she sounded, not a word. She was right there, in almost every scene Wakko had been in. They sang together! There had been a running gag about her name! He couldn't have missed her.

Yakko took a breath; he knew thinking about that letter would just anger him. The next one he had read after he calmed down slightly had just made him mad all over again, and that had been addressed to Wakko, written slightly over two months after the first letter to Yakko.

That letter had the same tone, a father who adored his children and was cruelly snatched from them to go to Panic Pen for a crime he didn't commit. How much he loved them and as soon as he was able he would come for them and they'd be a family again. He admitted he wasn't always the best father but he wanted a second chance to do things over. He asked more questions of Wakko; how he was doing, how Yakko was treating them, who he saw around the studio, general chit-chat that would be appropriate for a then eight-year-old.

The letter had annoyed him all over again; he abandoned Wakko and his toddler daughter in a diner, then claimed he loved them and wanted to be a family. The man was deranged.

Unfortunately, just as he had finished the letter and had been stewing in his own anger was when Dot had come into the kitchen.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair, ashamed of himself and how he handled the situation. Dot had been fussing about it for a few days, ever since they had been handed the script. She wasn't quite as loud as Wakko was when he was unhappy with one, but she could get her point across.

The skit had to be done; they just didn't have an option on whether they wanted to do it or not. He had always been firm when it came to doing their jobs; he needed to be. However, he could have tried to reason with her a little more. It had only been a few days and he hadn't even tried to come up with a solution.

Dot had started to act up, her refusal to even consider doing the skit or trying to come up with another alternative to make it more palatable to her had annoyed him. He was still stressed from the letters, then her telling him he was cruel, uncaring, selfish…

That had actually hurt. He knew it was just a tantrum, she didn't really mean any of those things, but it was still painful to hear that coming from his sister.

Especially the selfish comment. He was being slightly selfish, he could admit that. Dot rarely caused problems, and Plotz had acknowledged that. If though Plotz started to hear that she was causing problems, such as refusing to do a skit, the man might start to rethink his offer.

The studio was well used to working with children. Forgotten lines, illnesses, petty fights, normal mischievousness, these were all tolerated to a certain degree. Absolute refusal to work was not.

Sighing, he stood up, glancing down at another letter, the latest one. Dad was still on the family kick, though much like the previous letters before that, the tone was turning decidedly harder, more like what Yakko remembered this father sounding like.

Spotting one sentence Yakko paused.

_You know, when I get out of here, you'll be eighteen, or close to it. Wakko's only going to be thirteen. Dorothy's even younger. You can ignore all my letters, you can refuse to acknowledge that I exist and hide behind your fancy big name friends and that studio, but they're still my kids._

Feeling a chill run down his back, Yakko continued reading, his hands clenching the paper so tightly that he almost shoved his fingers through it.

_It makes the time go by quicker, knowing I got two kids on the outside, just waiting for me. I'm sure I can petition the Court, get my custody rights restored. _

_It's going to be rough, trying to raise two kids while just getting on my feet after this. No money, no job…maybe you're thinking I can't do it. Maybe you're right…bet I could be persuaded to rethink that, if a better option came along._

_Like I said before I think I might like the idea of playing Daddy to my children. This time I can do it right, and this time I'll have access to money to make sure - _

Yakko didn't turn the paper over.

Now he wants to acknowledge Dot, after two years worth of letters. And just as he suspected, he really was acknowledging her bank account more than anything else. Yakko was positive if she didn't have one, Dad wouldn't have any interest in her, Wakko either. But in bringing her up Yakko knew his father still remembered his weak spot; his siblings.

None of them were millionaires, far from it. But they could all be considered well-off. The show alone provided them ample pay; start counting in royalties from merchandise, any extra advertising they participated in, and honestly, who knew how long the show would go on for? The bank accounts would just continue to grow and acquire interest.

But he wasn't doing everything he could to make those accounts grow to simply hand them over to his father. And he sure as hell wasn't going to hand his siblings over to him; he'd raised both of them. At this point he felt he could safely say they were his, until both of them reached eighteen. The last person he was going to hand them to was Dad. He'd hand both of them over to Michael Jackson before he let that happen.

He was worrying too much, like he always did. Dad wouldn't be out for another few years; there was no sense in jumping to conclusions just because he'd started receiving letters from him. If nothing else it gave him a heads up on what he needed to prepare for.

And really, no matter how lax the Court system was in ToonTown, would they seriously consider handing over two juveniles to a convicted felon? Especially when they had a brother who would fight tooth and nail to keep them?

He hoped not.

Fine, Plotz and Bugs said they would discuss what, if anything, needed to be done Monday, as far as future correspondence went. He glanced at the clock; ten-forty-eight. Too late to call Bugs. He could do that tomorrow. Not that he'd sleep much anyway, but really, when did he ever?

Running a hand through his hair Yakko stood and quickly crossed out of the kitchen, heading down the darkened hallway. He was being stupid, he knew that. Dot was there. Wakko was there. He had put them both to bed himself. Dad was locked away from them, there was absolutely nothing for him to be concerned about.

He still checked anyway, every single night.

Quickening his steps he reached Dot's door and paused, his hand on the knob. He wondered if Dot knew he did this, checked on her during the night. He never even knew what he was checking for. Both his siblings were quite capable of waking him or coming to find him if they needed him. Maybe he was being way too much of a worrier…

Could you ever worry too much?

Deciding that the answer was undoubtedly 'yes' but still unable to help himself Yakko turned the knob. At some point he would have to stop doing this. As they got older they both would probably balk. He could almost hear Wakko now moaning about him checking on him like he was a baby.

But that probably wouldn't be for a few more years yet; he could indulge himself now. He slept easier at night.

Pushing the door open he entered the darkened room, pausing a moment for his eyes to adjust before silently making his way toward the bed. Looking down he couldn't help but smile; she was sound asleep. And when she was asleep she wasn't mad at him.

Sighing he knelt down by the bed, gently moving her ears back to look at her. He really should have tried to talk to her more earlier; it wasn't her fault he was in a bad mood. She hadn't really picked up on that either, but that wasn't unusual.

She was already an amazing little girl who would no doubt grow to be an incredible woman one day. She was right about the skit; it was tasteless. Until she had pointed that out to him he hadn't really given it much thought; at the surface it was funny, just another joke from the Warners. Scratch the surface a little though and he could understand where she would see a bit of tarnish.

He would talk to her in the morning; hopefully she would be calmer then. She had eaten, much like he knew she would if he waved a taco under her nose, but dinner had been a wholly unpleasant affair. Luckily she stopped just short of dumping guacamole on his lap. He would be up half the night anyway; he would rack his brain, try to come up with a solution to the problem. If he couldn't he would mention it to Bugs again. The rabbit knew Dot was having an issue regarding the script, but had no idea how far things had progressed. Yakko mostly solved those problems on his own; if he could get Wakko to do everything, he most likely would be able to reach some sort of agreement with Dot.

Dot wasn't as easy to bribe as Wakko, and she obviously believed in her little cause. He actually had to marvel at her; almost eight years old and cared more about those less fortunate than her. Most little girls couldn't see past their dolls and games.

This fascinating little creature was sleeping peacefully right before his eyes, yet Dad was daring to even casually mention he might want to regain custody? Take her away from him? He had been there for almost every 'first' she had had in her short life; first smile, first word, first time standing on her own. He'd be damned if he was going to miss anything coming up - first kiss, first date, - hell no.

He was doubly glad he had Bugs as a back-up guardian should anything happen to him. Dot - both siblings - were more than a name and source of income. If Dad couldn't see that, he could go to hell.

With the thought of him coming back into his mind, Yakko stood but continued to look at Dot. With a sigh she snuggled deeper into her pillow.

Should he tell her about Dad? What would it accomplish really? In truth, it would probably just hurt her. No, she didn't remember him; she said as much. But, would it do any good to tell her that a virtual stranger had been writing for two years to both her brothers without mentioning her once? And in the last letter where he did mention her, it was to again only be used as leverage against her older brother?

With a nod to himself, he made the decision. He wouldn't tell her, at least not anytime soon. It would do nothing for her, and if it wouldn't benefit her he saw no reason to bring it up.

With a final look at her he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him and walked the short distance to the other bedroom. Opening the door he looked in.

Wakko was also asleep, lying on his stomach, pillow scrunched under his head and blankets half draped off the side.

Shaking his head, Yakko gently laid them back over him. Wakko had noticed Yakko was in a foul mood, which wasn't unusual. He was unusually perceptive, though whether that was an actual skill or he was just more used to having been the one to put him in a foul mood Yakko had yet to determine. He would like to think it was a mixture of both.

Wakko let out a soft burp, a sigh, then a laugh and Yakko shook his head again, wondering what his dream was about. Knowing his brother it could be anything. But, as usual, whether asleep or awake Wakko apparently found burps hilarious. Yakko only wished he could be so easily entertained.

Yakko pushed some hair out of Wakko's face to get a better look at him. Yakko always kept his hair closely cut. He kept it so short that it almost looked like he didn't have any hair other than fur. Dot adored her pixie cut and refused to consider growing her hair out any longer. That was fine with Yakko; she looked adorable with shorter hair, and much like his own it was easier to take care of. Plus, the studio did have stipulations. When the show was filming they were required to have that look. They didn't care as much when the show wasn't in an active filming status and Wakko wanted to grow his hair out longer.

Yakko didn't have a problem with it. Unlike when they were out on the street, they had ample access to bathing facilities. On the streets he kept all their hair cut short just to keep the chances of an infestation of lice and fleas down.

Now though it wasn't a concern and as long as Wakko agreed to keep it neatly cut Yakko really didn't see any problem with it. His younger brother was probably going to have a problem with it shortly though. They would be filming again within a week and he'd have to cut if down again.

He'd be OK. They wouldn't be on the show forever; Yakko had promised him when the show was over he could grow his hair longer than Crystal Gayles.

Watching the forelock fall back over Wakko's eyes Yakko continued to look at him and wondered about him. Should he tell him about their father? Again, would it do any good? Wakko remembered him, at least more than Dot. Unlike Yakko, Wakko's memories were more hazy on Dad. And Yakko had tried to shield him from a lot of the man's darker side. Wakko didn't exactly have a rose tinted view of him; he was well aware that he had abandoned them, he just didn't understand why.

Wakko was also a more forgiving child. Chances were that Wakko would want to write him, give him a chance to explain himself. Knowing Wakko, he'd probably forgive him no matter what lame excuse he was offered and give him another chance. Did Wakko need to start a relationship with the man who from what Yakko could see hadn't changed a bit despite the amount of time he had been imprisoned? Wakko had strong role models now; what would adding a felon to it do? Wakko was smart, but he could be incredibly naïve.

And would it really be fair, to him or Dot, to drag him back in their lives? He tried to keep things even between the two. It simply wouldn't be fair to Dot to include Dad in Wakko's life but not hers.

And Bugs and Plotz said it was his decision alone…

Yakko shook his head. At this time in their lives none of them really needed to deal with their father. Second decision made; Wakko wouldn't be informed about their father's contact, not until he was much older at least.

Satisfied, Yakko began to undress so he could make some attempt at sleep while he mulled around a solution to Dot's 'strike'. He wondered how she convinced Wakko to join her.

Lying down, he thought about her problems with it. She thought it made them all look cold, unsympathetic and uncaring.

None of them obviously were, though she was convinced he was evil-incarnate right now. Despite the fact that his feet were more firmly planted in reality, he agreed with her thoughts.

If he could come up with something to show her that he understood at least it would probably make her happy. And despite the fact that she wasn't going to ever know that their father couldn't even remember her correct age, Yakko actually felt guilty about it.

Sighing, he turned on his side, listening to Wakko laugh in his sleep again. Something would come to him, it always did.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 14, 1995

"We're only asking for a portion; maybe twenty-five percent-"

"Narf! Egad Yakko! Um…I don't do fractions…but I like to help…"

Dot watched, amused, as Pinky struggled with Yakko's question, even knocking himself on the head several times like it would help.

She wondered if she should tell him it didn't matter how many hits he took up there, it didn't help the thought process any. It sure didn't ever seem to help Wakko.

"That leaves seventy-five percent!"

"Yes, very good Pinky," Brain drawled. Turning to look from his partner who seemed quite pleased with himself, the mouse added, "I am agreeable to this arrangement Yakko."

"Thanks Brain," Yakko nodded, shifting Dot higher on his hip. "Trust me, you have no idea how much it will help."

Nodding, the mouse turned from looking at Yakko to direct his gaze toward Dot.

"I commend you on your actions Dot. Until pointed out by you and your brother, I had never considered that the song would be offensive. Have you spoken to the others that will appear in this short?"

Dot, who had been blushing under the praise, nodded vigorously.

"Slappy said she'd do it! Even Dr. Scratchansniff said he would!"

Dr. Scratchansniff said he thought it was a good idea too; he said it showed a big heart and that she was willing to help others. Or something close to that; all she knew was he seemed happy with the idea.

And she was happy with the idea, and Yakko was happy that she was happy and everyone was happy. Even Wakko was happy - he wasn't grounded anymore and no one was fighting. He hadn't been as happy when Dot said she wasn't going to do his chores for him this week though; she had tried but the trash can was heavy and smelly. Besides, he wasn't in trouble anymore; why should she have to do it?

She snuggled into Yakko's chest more while he tightened his grip on her briefly and began talking to Brain while Pinky thought.

Yakko had come up with another brilliant idea, and so far everyone had been enthusiastic about it.

She still didn't think the song was cute or funny. When she had gotten up the next morning after she got in trouble she was prepared to continue to stand her ground no matter how furious Yakko still was. Instead he surprised her by sitting her and Wakko down at the kitchen table and talking to them.

She didn't know what happened to him overnight; maybe it was one of those 'change of heart' things she'd heard about. Either way he seemed more inclined to do something about it instead of just ordering her to do it and not say anything else.

He said he agreed with her to a point, or he could see where she was coming from anyway. But he said he overreacted the previous day and he was sorry, but he complimented her on standing up for what she believed in.

She had to throw a smug look at Wakko for that one. She knew she was right; hadn't she said so enough?

Yakko also said they had to do the skit which wiped the pleased look off her face. But he said he might have a solution to her strike; or at least a way to make it more acceptable to her.

At first she had been skeptical and had wondered if Yakko had found some way he thought he could outsmart her and trick her into doing it. But Yakko was acting a lot nicer, and he was hugging her a lot, Wakko too though he didn't look quite as happy about it as she was.

When she heard his idea, for everyone who was going to appear in the skit to donate a portion of their pay from the skit to a charity she had been delighted. Yakko even said since it was all due to what she had pointed out, she could even pick which charity she wanted it to go to.

She had immediately clasped her hands and decided on a homeless shelter. Yakko had nodded and said it was a good decision. The shelters had helped many people after the quake and they could always use the help.

Wakko had said he wanted to give his entire pay for the skit to the shelter, something Dot was wholeheartedly in agreement with. Yakko had nodded, saying he would do so as well.

With all the Warners in agreement, Yakko said he would figure out the percentage of each of their salaries for the show. He then said he would speak to the others that would be appearing in cameo spots about donating a portion of their own pay for it. He said they might get farther if they ask for only a percentage instead of the whole thing.

She had nodded, satisfied. She still didn't want to do it, but he was right, this made it a little easier to swallow. If they were going to get paid by riding on the back of a horrible disaster, at least she felt a little better about it if they weren't going to keep all the money made off it.

And Yakko looked like he was trying; he had looked so serious and upset that morning that she would have agreed to almost anything to get that look off his face. And since he was trying she could bend a little on her stance and work with him.

Wakko had been right; he had warned her Yakko was in a bad mood and not to fight with him when he was in that mood. She hadn't listened and only upset him further and she really hadn't meant he was mean and uncaring. Yakko was never like that.

And she was very happy Yakko said she was to come with him to ask everyone. This was her ballgame, she had to help throw out the pitches.

"Umm….Brain?"

Dot looked over at Pinky when the mouse spoke. She had been so deep in thought over the past weekend that she hadn't even realized she had wandered off from the conversation going on around her.

"Yes Pinky?"

"What if I don't want to give twenty-five percent?"

Dot felt her ears droop in disappointment. Yakko had told her though that not everyone might be interested. He said they might not like that particular charity, or they might really need the money for their own families.

"That is, of course, your own decision Pinky," Brian said. "I do have to inform you that with your and Olivia's past association with charitable organizations I had assumed you would be agreeable - "

"What if I want to give it all?" Pinky gasped, clasping his hands under his chin.

Dot perked her ears up at that. Pinky wanted to give his entire salary for the skit? She thought it wouldn't be much; neither he nor Brain were in it for more than ten seconds.

Then again they did get squashed by a book; maybe they would get some sort of extra pay for that.

Either way it didn't matter; sweet simple Pinky who could barely figure out what soundstage he was supposed to be on got it.

"The whole thing?" Yakko asked.

"That is generous but unnecessary," Brain said. "Though I can hardly refuse to do so as well. I will calculate the percentages and give you the payment posthaste."

Dot shared a grin with Yakko, feeling better about the song. They still had to ask the Hip Hippos and Buttons and Mindy, but already most of the cast seemed in agreement with her, once she explained her reasoning on it..

Normally she tried hard not to cause problems. This time she was glad she did.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 17, 1995

_- and at this time I request that you make no further attempt to communicate with any minor currently under the care of Warner Brothers Studio, including Yakko, Wakko or Dorothy 'Dot' Warner. When and if this situation changes, I will contact you directly through the studio attorneys to apprise you of this situation._

_Of course, as soon as Mr. Warner reaches the age of eighteen he is free to do as he chooses. If he wishes to commence communication with you, he will do so directly. While no one at the studio discouraged him from making an attempt to stay in touch with you, I can honestly say no one encouraged it._

_As a father myself I can understand that this is perhaps painful, but I assure you that everyone feels this is for the best. Please be assured that your children are well cared for; I can tell from your last few letters that is exactly where your concern lay. _

_I'm sure you can understand that at this time your children have a secure stable environment where they are able to grow to their full potential. You - as their father with nothing but their best interests at heart - would be unwilling to jeopardize their mental and physical wellbeing by roughly forcing yourself in their lives._

_While Panic Penitentiary does survey the letters that go out of their facility and the mail room staff forwards all mail sent from the incarcerated fans directly to my attention, there is a chance that one may slip though and end up in the hands of the wrong child. I urge you to think of this should you feel the need to continue to try to communicate with them. _

_At the advice of the studio attorneys, I have copied the warden of Panic Penitentiary on this correspondence as well as the parole board. _

_If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact the legal division of this studio. I have enclosed several of their business cards with their address highlighted for your convenience._

_I wish you the best in your future endeavors._

_Sincerely, _  
_Thaddeus J. Plotz  
__CEO, Warner Brothers Studios  
__Animated Division_

_TJP/sjp  
__Enclosures_

_cc: Warden - Panic Penitentiary  
__ToonTown Parole Board _

"If this meets with your approval Yakko, I will sign it and have Ms. Parker send it out immediately by certified mail."

Yakko, gripping the short but to the point letter, looked up and glanced at Plotz. Surprisingly, the man was actually being helpful.

And the letter certainly met with his approval. A little snide in places, but it wouldn't be Plotz if it wasn't. And it would hopefully discourage Dad from any future writing. With the warden being let in along with the parole board, it was highly unlikely that Dad would try to continue to communicate. If he wanted even a hope of being released early, he would no doubt refrain from continuing to send threatening letters.

Yakko nodded and said, "Yeah, yeah, it's fine - "

"Understand this Yakko, once this letter is sent and received, you'll probably not receive any further correspondence from him, at least while you reside at this studio," Plotz said. "I will direct the mail room staff to continue to give me any letters that come from Panic addressed to you after this if you still wish to read them."

"I do," Yakko nodded. "At least I know what to prepare for, especially if he's threatening to go after Wakko and Dot at some point."

"Very well. I don't mind helping…much…but I don't want to hear from you in two weeks saying you've had a change of heart - "

"Never going to happen."

"Good."

Leaning forward in his chair Plotz looked at him for a moment. Yakko looked back at him for a second, puzzled, before he realized he was supposed to give the letter back. He did need to sign it.

Yakko handed the two sheets of thick cream colored paper the letter was typed on to Mr. Plotz, the shiny gold of the Warner Brothers badge embossed on the top catching light from the window. This was it; with this letter sent he wouldn't need to worry about hearing from Dad for quite a while.

What was it with this man? Just as soon as things seemed to be going along swimmingly he always managed to turn up. Hell, all those miles away, locked behind tons of concrete and steel and he still managed to find a way to come back and frustrate him like a bad habit.

He wanted to feel bad; this was his father, their father. The man who had helped give all of them life. Slacko was the reason that he was lucky enough to have two siblings.

He should feel bad, cutting him off before even writing to him once.

He should.

But he didn't.

Yakko watched as Mr. Plotz signed his name to the letter, then buzzed for his assistant.

"I'll have Ms. Parker make you a copy," Plotz said.

Yakko watched as Sarah Jane Parker, Mr. Plotz's shapely and competent assistant strolled into the room, taking the letter and shooting him a small smile. He watched her stroll out of the room, wondering why a woman that hot was working for the dumpy CEO when she was so much better suited to modeling swimsuits. She looked like a Hawaiian Tropic girl.

"Thank you. Really," Yakko said, running a hand through his hair when Ms. Parker finally returned, handing Mr. Plotz the copy.

The man really didn't have to do this. Mr. Plotz could have easily passed this on to one of the many attorneys at the studio. Instead, when Yakko had informed him that he had decided to not tell Wakko and Dot about their father, and that he actually wished to not communicate with him, at least at the present time, Mr. Plotz had grunted into the phone and told him to be in his office at one o'clock Thursday afternoon.

Yakko had been flabbergasted when he found out Plotz had written a letter to his father himself. It was a bit tersely worded but polite enough no one could fault him, asking him to cease attempts to communicate with his children. And he even wanted Yakko's opinion on it before he mailed it.

Every now and then TP could really surprise him. If he didn't know better he'd swear the man had a heart deep down.

Really deep down.

"If there's nothing else…"

Yakko looked up at him again, shaking his head.

"No, I guess not." Standing he took the man's proffered hand briefly, feeling the fleshy fingers curling around his own gloved ones.

That had surprised him too. The last few times he had met with Plotz the man always stuck his hand out to shake his. It was an odd but not unwelcome gesture.

Walking towards the door Yakko stopped when Plotz spoke again.

"I know it was probably a difficult decision, but if it makes you feel any better I think you made the correct one. I don't think contact with this individual would benefit any of you."

Turning around to stare at the man who had already looked down to read another piece of paper, Yakko almost teetered over in shock. Another compliment from Plotz? It was simply too much; a compliment a year from Plotz was rare. More than one during a week…

Satan had to be ice skating his way around hell.

Maybe Plotz was finally warming to him? It could be, no one could be an asshole all the time, not even this little pygmy that just seemed to scream, rant and bellow -

Looking up at him Plotz narrowed his eyes and demanded, "What?"

"Ehhhhhh - "

"If you're stressed out about your family situation you won't perform as well! Now get out of my office!"

Satisfied, Yakko nodded and smiled to himself as he walked out of the office.

All was right with the world. That was the Plotz that he knew, the cranky bastard.

XXXXXXXXXX

August 31, 1995

"Wakko, I'm not going through this with you again!"

"You don't have to go through anything again!" Wakko yelled, slamming his hands down on the table, matching Yakko's glare with one of his own. "I'm not doing it!"

Two hours now - Yakko never gave up. And Dot was no better - she was just sitting there staring at both of them with wide eyes. He chose to ignore her - she didn't understand anymore than Yakko did. Why should she? It wasn't her private life that was getting ready to be joked about in an episode.

And he noticed she wasn't jumping in to help him. But when she wanted help on her silly strike who did she come to for help? Him. But now, something regarding her own brother and a secret she knew he didn't want to come out she clamed up.

See if he ever did her a favor again. And he had sent that reporter that liked to follow them around to talk to her and do a story on her and her strike. That had made her happy; him happy too. Not only was Dot thrilled that she got to be the center of attention in a story in TTD, but also it distracted Anica Addams. He and the others had been in the middle of toilet papering Bugs' car.

And it was a great prank - it wasn't a toon prank so it would be harder to trace it to them. Plus, it was toilet paper. It wasn't like Bugs could wash it off. He had to unroll his entire car, which by the time they had got done with it looked like a mummy.

There was simply nothing like pranking the master of pranks himself.

"Wakko!" Yakko snapped, reaching out to steady his glass while staring down his nose at Wakko. "Control yourself sib - it's not that big a deal - "

"Course you wouldn't think so," Wakko muttered. "You joke about your lactose intolerance all the time."

"OK, OK, that's a little different but this isn't - "

"I'm not doing it Yakko." Seeing the look on Yakko's face Wakko said again, "I'm not!"

"Answer me this - what happens every single time you refuse to do a script? You get grounded or in trouble and you end up doing it anyway!"

"Not this time."

"Do you like being in trouble because I'm not understanding here. Do you get some perverse pleasure out of - "

"Well of course you don't understand! You think it's funny - "

"I never said I thought it was funny! And I said before this was your own - "

Annoyed Wakko nimbly left from his chair, abandoning his dinner and the conversation which was going nowhere fast. He wasn't in the mood to eat anyway, and definitely not with him. Yakko was right; he'd ground him for awhile and then he'd end up doing the skit anyway.

Or so he thought; if he wasn't there to listen to him he couldn't talk him into doing it.

Swiftly walking into the living room he debated on where to go. Sitting on the couch was no more an option than going to the bedroom; Yakko would simply follow him in there to continue to yell and argue.

Why didn't he understand? Yakko knew he tried to keep any mention of his diabetes quiet. Hell, Yakko was the one that had made a huge stink about their short 'Meatballs or Consequences' because it made a joke about him eating himself to death. Wakko hadn't even been that upset about it, mostly because it didn't say a word about his having diabetes.

This new script…

He shuddered at the lines just thinking about them.

_Hey that was delicious, thanks for the snacks  
__I'm hypoglycemic, I get munchie attacks._

Laugh riot. His secret about his 'problem' would be out with the utterance of those two lines. And they rhymed; how creepy was that? Everyone knew that hypoglycemia went hand in hand with diabetes.

Well, maybe not everyone, if they weren't familiar with diabetes. But he knew and it was enough.

Wakko eyed the door to the tower for a second, chewing on his lip as he heard Yakko's chair scraping on the kitchen floor and the tinny sound of a fork being dropped on a plate. He wasn't going to stand there and let Yakko bully him into doing the short. Yakko said he asked them to change the line, but they wouldn't.

He wasn't going to stay in there, at least right now. He rarely got as mad as he was and if he stayed in the room and continued to fight with Yakko he was going to get in big trouble.

Of course if he left the tower he was going to get in big trouble too…

It didn't matter; he was already in big trouble.

"Wakko don't you dare walk out that door - "

With barely a look over his shoulder Wakko ran to the door and threw it open, wincing at the squeal. Yakko needed to oil it soon; maybe he should do that instead of acting like Wakko's problems were so trivial.

Hopping out on the landing and ignoring Yakko's orders to get back inside Wakko went to the ladder and looked down.

It was getting late; he could already see the lot growing dark as the sun set. Lots of people had left for the day and there was no one around. He raised his ears; he heard Yakko tell Dot to go and finish her dinner and he was going to 'go grab Wakko and put a stop to this nonsense'.

Wakko was quick but Yakko was quicker. He had longer legs and would be able to catch him if he started to climb down the ladder. Wakko debated on jumping down; he wasn't supposed to, none of them were. But he didn't have to wear the parachute anymore, he perfected that aspect of Chucking ages ago.

He'd get in trouble, but he was already in trouble…and the sooner he got down the sooner he could go hide and get away from his nagging overbearing brother for awhile. Yakko wasn't content to leave him alone until he wanted to talk; they were supposed to start filming this short Monday and they had been arguing about it all week.

Mind made up he gazed down at the ground. It wasn't too far, not really, but he'd never jumped from that height before. But he could do it, and there was no one around…

Hearing the door behind him opening he took a deep breath and stepped off, hearing Yakko's panicked shout before he yelled 'if the fall doesn't kill you I will! Just wait till I get my hands on you!'

_Big deal - either way I won't have to do that script._

Wakko ignored him and concentrated on the fall. Or the landing - Foghorn told him it didn't matter how great he did the fall, if he hurt himself in the landing it didn't count. He had to watch countless hours of Wile falling and analyze them in minute detail; he could do this.

With his ears and tail streaming out behind him Wakko concentrated on getting the Chucking right, already staring at the spot on the ground that he was projecting he land on. He tried not to squeeze his eyes closed; that was one of his problems with these types of moves. He'd squeeze his eyes closed and mess his timing up. Like Foghorn said, 'if you can't see the object - I say - if you couldn't see the object approaching how you gonna prepare? Get ready that is. Any of this permeating that furry head of yours son?'

He had to let his body relax, go rubbery and bouncy about a second before he actually made impact. The millisecond after impact he could un-Chuck and return to normal - in this case so he could stand and run because he was almost positive that Yakko would be right behind him. Probably so he could strangle him.

The ground was fast approaching, it'd all be over in a few seconds…

…four…three…two…

Wakko relaxed as the wind rushed in his ears. Feeling his body go to the consistency of pudding, even his bones momentarily losing their firmness as he landed and almost squished against the ground. He didn't land on his feet; he landed on his rear which hadn't been what he was intending. Somewhat startled he rolled backwards, curled in a ball but he was delighted. He did it; he landed in one piece and he was alive.

And Yakko said he was careless and never paid attention and wandered around in his own little world. What did Yakko know? Wakko bet he'd never jumped off the tower. Yakko was always worried about being good and not getting the studio mad. What was the sense in learning these tricks if he wasn't allowed to ever use them?

Hearing Yakko calling his name Wakko looked up to see him glaring at him from the landing. Wakko almost snorted; the way Yakko was shaking a fist at him reminded him of the grouchy old men that sat in the balcony of 'The Muppet Show'.

Not wanting to give Yakko the opportunity to follow him down and drag him back up to the tower Wakko stood and looked around. He just wanted to be by himself for awhile. He should be able to find some place to think about his next move. He wasn't sure what the move would be - probably just sit somewhere for awhile and sulk before going back to the tower, sitting through whatever lecture Yakko dreamed up in his absence and let him dole out yet another punishment to him.

He was definitely going to be grounded. He would probably get a couple swats, though they would be more for the whole jumping off the tower thing. A lecture was definitely looming in the near future.

Chances were he'd be grounded even if he went back and said he'd do the script just for leaving the tower. Yakko went nuts if they left the tower and didn't tell him. Add in the fact that he just brazenly jumped from it right in front of Yakko then continued to run off even after he ordered him to get his tail back in there…

Yep, that was pretty much all the main ingredients to make 'pissed off brother soup'. He'd be dining on that for the next week or two or however long it took for Yakko to cool down.

Wakko started running at Yakko's yell to 'get back up here now!' He didn't ask if he was OK but Wakko guessed that with him running off it was pretty obvious he was.

Listening to his feet thumping lightly on the pavement, Wakko grumbled to himself. He was going to be in trouble, and he half blamed it on Yakko.

Yakko was right - again. Wakko hadn't been careful; that day he almost passed out while playing with the others was the cause of this whole mess. The man who had talked to Max spoke to someone else on the lot. He didn't have the whole story, but with a bit of investigating they had found out about his diabetes. That man was one of the writers on their show; Wakko snorted to himself. That jerk probably did think it was funny.

Their show was comedic; if it wasn't funny it wasn't supposed to be in their show.

It didn't explain why 'The Hip Hippos' were still there - they were never funny - but everything else was supposed to be.

Slowing as he neared some darkened soundstages, Wakko quickly swiped at his eyes, annoyed with himself as he felt a harsh stinging sensation. He was starting to cry - just what he needed someone to see. People had already seen enough of his personal life; with his luck there was some other jerk waiting around with a camera that would snap a picture of him.

Roughly pushing open the closest door he walked inside. Any other time he would have been delighted; the 'Batman' set. Or one of them anyway - this was the interior of the Batcave set.

Wiping at his nose and sniffing Wakko looked around; he had been to the set several times to watch filming. Secretly, he had a tendency to fan boy on Batman almost as badly as Buster did on Sonic. Almost; Wakko prided himself on not actually drooling on Batman. To bad the same couldn't be said of Max; he drooled every time someone mentioned 'Harley Quinn', let alone he actually saw her parading around the lot, usually with at least one armed officer with her. Max said she might be nuttier than a fruitcake but she was a damn fine looking slice of fruitcake.

Yakko did too though and he wasn't limited to Harley Quinn, he routinely drooled when he saw 'Catwoman' too. Or Poison Ivy. Or Batgirl. Hell, Yakko drooled at the sight of every girl.

Letting himself be distracted momentarily from his thoughts he briefly looked around the set. Wakko wished he was like Batman. He bet Batman didn't have these sorts of problems. Batman was brave, strong, always could come up with a plan -he'd never have diabetes. He probably never even caught a cold.

Even if he did get it, he'd probably find some way to beat it and he wouldn't care if anyone found out anyway because he was so tough. Then again Batman didn't have the reputation Wakko did - no one thought he was an idiot or an eating machine or a troublemaker.

Frustrated, angry and not wanting to admit it - scared - Wakko sunk to the floor beside the command center, hiding his face in his hands. The fans were going to think he was even more retarded than they already did, other people were going to feel sorry for him and to top it off that buttface dweeb Tank would probably want to pick on him for it. Not that he gave a crap what Tank said, but if the boy said something Wakko would have to retaliate and sometimes, there were just too many adults around and it just wasn't possible at that time.

Buster might be a firm believer in the saying 'revenge is a dish best served cold' but Wakko wasn't. He was more along the lines of 'serve it piping hot with a nice heavy mallet shot for dessert'.

He sighed to himself. Yakko was right - he was careless and this was his own fault. If he had been more careful, more observant to the time and his surroundings and what he should and shouldn't have done this wouldn't have happened. He tried but sometimes things just…slipped by him. Wasn't he allowed to make a mistake now and then? Did he have to be perfect all the time?

And he hated when Yakko wanted to point out that Dot never messed up. Dot was perfect; Dot never caused trouble, never refused to do a script with the one notable exception a month ago and that was only because she thought it was mean to other people. She always got good grades in almost every subject and didn't need him constantly looking over her shoulder to ensure that.

It always made Wakko feel like the 'Bart Simpson' of the family. He had heard that the older yellow-skinned boy was a real asspie but he could almost feel a kinship with him. They were both the 'family screw-ups' and both the older brother of a brilliant younger sister that was formed out of everything perfect in the world.

And of course his brilliant younger sister didn't have diabetes like he did. Not that he ever wanted her to; Yakko either. It sucked enough having it himself; he'd never wish it on them. Though it would be nice if they could try to see his point of view a little more. They were his family right? Weren't they supposed to be his support group?

Feeling sorry for himself and not having any desire to pull himself out of the uncharacteristic feeling Wakko squeezed his eyes shut tighter, feeling a few more tears leak out.

It may be his fault that everyone was going to find out but he still wished Yakko hadn't pointed that out; already worried and angry having his brother throw that in his face over meatloaf and rolls really didn't help calm him down. A little sympathy would have been nice. Yakko probably hadn't meant to be mean, but the words said prior to dinner still hurt.

But Yakko wouldn't understand any more than Dot would. How could they? They weren't the ones that had to prick their fingers and inject themselves a few times a day. Neither of them had to constantly try to remember to calculate that they got additional exercise so they had to figure that in and make sure their sugar levels stayed normal. It was all so wearing and time consuming and the added stress of trying to make sure no one found out…

Maybe Dot was right; maybe he should just come right out with it. It wasn't like he messed up and caught the disease. He had nothing to be ashamed about.

But he still continued to hide it. His friends knew, some people at the studio, but no one else. And almost all of them were people he chose to tell, on his own terms. Not announced in some silly skit.

Trying to blink back tears he wrapped his arms around his knees, bringing them to his chest. Maybe he could just hide for the rest of his life. He wished he owned a cell phone but Yakko said he was too young. That was too bad; if he had a phone he could call Buster. He could use some friendly conversation. Or maybe Max; the boy had food allergies and while he didn't go out of his way to hide them, he didn't care who knew about them either. Plucky; hell, if anyone looked at him for five minutes and couldn't tell he had ADHD they were either crazy themselves or dead.

Elmyra didn't have anything wrong with her, but she'd be sympathetic. She always was.

Hearing something, a small bang sound he raised his ears, taking another quick swipe at his eyes and annoyed to feel some wetness on his glove. Straining his ears he was able to make out the soft delicate footsteps of someone approaching through the door he had come through. He should have locked it behind him.

Not bothering to look up at the intruder he said firmly, "Go away."

There wasn't a response, just the soft footsteps continuing toward him and he brushed at his eyes again before peering into the darkness as the small form approached.

After a few seconds he could make out her face, her gloves and the white ribbon tying her ears up the only bright spots on her body catching the few rays of dying light coming in through the window above. And she didn't say anything which was unusual; usually Dot came right in and started talking.

Hesitantly she approached and he almost snorted at her. What did she think he was going to do - hit her? He'd never hit her. But he didn't want to listen to her either. She'd just tell him he was being an idiot and he was making Yakko mad or that he was in trouble when he got back and he should just do the script and be quiet.

Not that he hadn't said similar words to her during her silly overnight strike, but in the end he had stood by her against Yakko. Too bad she wouldn't do the same thing for him.

Reaching him she sat down to his left, mimicking his posture by also wrapping her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest.

Wakko went back to starting around the set. Maybe if he ignored her she'd go away. Dot loved being the center of attention; if he wasn't acknowledging her she'd go away.

"The set's weird looking, when it's shut down for the night. Good place to hide though."

"Just go away Dot," he sighed quietly. "I don't want to go back, and I don't want to talk to him."

"I don't either," she said in a reasonable tone. "He was being mean."

_Well, that's a first._

"If you thought he was so mean you would have said something instead of just staring at me."

"Well, I tried," she said, finally un-hugging her knees to toy with the ribbon on her ears. "Every time I opened my mouth though one of you would start yelling again."

"Oh." After a moment he added, "Sorry."

"I'm used to it," she replied. "The idea of me having anything important to say is so odd to both of you and I just fade into the background - "

"No you don't," Wakko said, happy that she was talking about herself for the moment. It was distracting him from his own anxieties. "TTD apparently thinks so too; you're one of the cover stories. They thought the idea of your strike was good gossip material."

"I know. Thank you."

"For what?" Wakko asked while he raised an eyebrow.

"You think I didn't recognize her?" She snorted. "I noticed it was the same one that follows you and the other buttheads around. She's like your very own pet reporter. I flip through the magazine sometimes, when you idiots are in it."

"Oh."

Damn, he really didn't think she'd notice. He had wanted her to think she was recognized for her own merits, not because he had told the reporter all about her and the stuff she did. Ms. Addams had seemed to think it was interesting enough though since she did the interview and he knew it had been well received.

He didn't think she even read the magazine. Why would she bother? She was usually right there when he was getting reamed for whatever bit of trouble got them in the magazine in the first place.

Of course he had read the interview she had done, but that was different. Dot was 'making a difference'. He was actually proud of her and felt a bit of a warm feeling come over him. She might be little and a girl and a pain, but she was OK. At least she was there talking to him; Yakko hadn't bothered to follow him down.

"But Yakko's right though, you sort of brought this on yourself."

Wakko felt the warm feeling of comradery instantly vaporize and he scooted a bit away from her.

"Fine. Yakko's right, as always. Now go back to him."

"No way," Dot said.

"Yeah, surprised he let you leave," Wakko muttered.

He was curious about that. He wasn't allowed to leave the tower without telling Yakko but Dot just wandered out? How unfair was that?

"He didn't. I left."

"Yakko's faster than you; he would have caught you before you reached the ladder."

"Not if he didn't know I was leaving," she giggled quietly. "He sent me to my room. I just waited until he went in to do the dishes and went out the front door. He saved your dinner but I know you gotta eat soon so I brought you mine," she added before reaching in her pocket.

Wakko stared at her while she pulled something out of her pink jacket. A mashed piece of meatloaf squashed between a roll. He tried not to wrinkle his nose as he thought about how much pocket lint was probably attached to that lump.

This was bad. Yakko was going to have a fit. He'd probably blame him for it.

He was going to have to cut his hair shortly.

And Dot was still holding the disgusting cold lump out to him like she expected him to eat it; couldn't she have wrapped it at least?

This night sucked.

"What?" Dot asked with a slight shrug while still holding out the makeshift sandwich. "He was being a bully; let him worry for a little while."

Wakko continued to stare at her.

So, Dot just brazenly walked out the front door, totally ignoring one of Yakko's major rules that was sure to send him into an annoyed older sibling frenzy? And he knew she couldn't Fritz a parachute so she descended the ladder without one. And she knew that Yakko would probably flip out once he figured out she was gone. But, despite these facts she was just sitting there beside him, the picture of calmness except for a slight flicking of her tail and discussing how she knew he'd be mad and that she horded her own dinner for him?

Hell, he could respect that; it was something he'd do himself.

He didn't know why she was there or was trying to one up him on getting into trouble, but he appreciated it.

She scooted closer to him, resting her head on his arm and dumping the sandwich in his lap.

"You wanna go back?"

"I have to," Wakko muttered. "I have to eat, I need to check my blink, probably take a shot…" Annoyed he gently shook her off and stood. "You two don't understand - "

"That's what you think," Dot said. At his look she added, "OK, I don't know how you feel, but you don't know how I feel either, watching you."

"Trust me," he grumbled softly. "It's probably not as bad as me."

"No, but it's bad in a different way. I have to sit there and watch you get upset over something that you shouldn't." Standing up and throwing her arms around him she said, "And like when you don't take care of yourself and you get sick or pass out I have to sit there and watch you - you think I like that? Yakko was right on that - you don't think, you're selfish when it comes to that and I hope your friends all kicked your butt for it."

Well, they hadn't, but they had given him hell for it. Even Elmyra had called speaking to him in a rather chilly voice. She even called him 'Wakko'. Luckily by the end of the phone call he was back to being 'cuddle head'.

"And now, this script. No one's ever said anything bad about your diabetes - "

"Because I made sure no one ever found out."

"- and yet you act like everyone's gonna judge you about it." Nuzzling her face into his side she said, "If someone does I'll kick them. I'll wear my riding boots too - it'll hurt. Just ask Diego."

Dot was just full of surprises tonight.

Tightening her hug around his shoulders she added, "You don't have anything to be ashamed about. And if you're gonna strike I'll strike with you, even if it probably won't do any good. Yakko did try - "

"I know he did," Wakko muttered, feeling guilty. He yelled at Yakko and he probably really had tried to get them to change the line. "He usually does."

"Well, he wasn't happy someone wanted to…" Dot trailed off, scrunching up her face. "What did…oh, he said he thought it was crappy that someone wanted to exploit an illness for a cheap laugh especially when the one with the disease struggled to keep it a secret!"

Wakko looked at her for a second. Dot was beaming, probably because she remembered exactly what Yakko said. It sounded like him too.

"Maybe, instead of getting into the magazine for some prank or being one of the cute boys or something, before the episode you could ask that reporter to come talk to you about 'the problem'" Dot said, doing finger quotes around the word. "It still comes out, but at least it comes out with you talking about it. And then you could - "

Did she ever stop talking? She was worse than Yakko.

Sighing, he said, "OK…I don't know. Let's just go back to the tower; Yakko's gotta scream at me for awhile."

"He's not gonna scream," Dot said. "He's more worried. But he's mad too; you're gonna get in trouble."

_Thanks for reminding me._

Leading her towards the door Wakko took another look around the set, at the computer consol and props and boom mikes.

"Wish I was like Batman; he doesn't deal with this crap. Even if he did, he's tough and brave, he'd handle this better and wouldn't worry about brothers and fans and interviews - "

"Dummy," Dot said, smacking him lightly on his head. "Batman's a wimp compared to you. You deal with this everyday; he just wears a mask and runs around in ugly tights reading scripts." Grabbing his hand she pulled him toward the door. "You're one of the bravest people I know."

_End Chapter 31_


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 32 - Service

XXXXXXXXXX

November 3, 1995

'_And Now Our Song is Done' _

_School's out forever - at Acme Looniversity _

_After almost six full seasons - two running national - with one movie and several specials, classes are finally over at Acme Loo._

_With a heavy heart, it is my duty to inform all the readers of 'The Animator' that indeed, Buster, Babs, Plucky, Hampton and the rest of the students at Acme Looniversity are finally graduating and will be entering those hallowed halls for the last time. _

_Sources at the studio released their statement today saying that several of the main stars, including Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny's contracts had run out and they had no interest in continuing with the series. Filming of their last short will conclude in early January. _

"_Working with all the kids over the past six years has been a great honor," Bugs Bunny said when asked about the cancellation of the show where he himself made numerous appearances as the kid's teacher for 'Outsmarting Antagonists' and also appeared as the 'principal' of the Looniversity._

"_Watching the kids grow and mature as people and actors is always a thrill for us old timers. I'm proud to have been a part of the show."_

_When asked, Bugs, along with several of the other stars have confirmed that they will continue to tutor their young charges for as long as they wished. _

_Take heart fans; several of the stars, including Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny have confirmed through their agents that they will continue to make cameos on sister show 'Animaniacs'. While I can not divulge the name of my source, it has been rumored that Buster, Babs, Plucky and Hampton will make a short guest appearance in an episode of the 'Animaniacs' third season, where the Warners will sing about their own 'wrap party'._

_I had the opportunity to sit down with Montana Max and Hampton Pig briefly while they were on set, both still in costume, though Montana did say that Hampton dressed like a 'hillbilly' off the set too. Hampton responded with a smile and complimented Montana on his fine sense of style -_

"Fine sense of style?" Babs snorted, pausing in her reading out loud of the article to glance across the table at the boy. " Montana? This confirms it; Hampton 's an idiot."

"Shut up Pinky," Max answered while he shoved another forkful of macaroni and cheese in his mouth. "I look good - "

"Not in that shirt you don't - "

"Mary gave me this shirt!"

"She must not like you as much as you thought," Wakko jumped in, not bothering to even look up from reading his own copy of the article. "It looks like she made it out of a tablecloth from a restaurant."

"Yeah Monty," Buster drawled, raising his voice to be heard over the laughter coming from the table. "Prop a menu on your head and a candle on your ass and you can start your second career as a table at Olive Garden."

"Mary did say he looked good enough to eat - "

"Eat me Plucky," Max snapped. "Just because you'll never know the touch of a woman - "

Wakko tuned out the usual insult throwing so he could concentrate on the article.

Cancelled. No more Tiny Toons. Well, some weren't so 'tiny' anymore. Max would be turning thirteen next year, Babs and Buster too. All of them were considerably taller than when they first started the show, voices starting to change.

Some - like Babs - were getting to be sort of interesting to hug too.

It probably was a good time to end it, before the scripts went sour and they were forced off the air due to poor ratings. They were wise to get out now, before they became just another show that stayed on the air longer than it should.

He was happy for them; most of them had been saying for awhile they were getting tired of the whole thing. Buster had told him last month he had discussed it with his father and wanted off the show. The shoots, learning lines, the screaming fan girls on him, constantly being on a camera, he was just tired of it all and wanted to try just being a normal kid for awhile. Mr. Bunny, not wishing to force his son to perform against his will, had agreed and together they had informed the studio.

Max had also stated a certain boredom with the entire 'Tiny Toon' franchise and also said when his contract was up he didn't intend to continue. Plucky had fussed some - he liked being on the show - but had said he thought he was beginning to age out of the role and wouldn't mind trying something new.

Wakko wasn't as sure where the girls stood on the entire thing. He knew Fifi did lots of modeling outside the show and occasionally flew out of the country for her shoots. Elmyra liked to volunteer at an animal shelter.

He was happy for his friends; they had a very successful show they could always be proud of and were now getting ready to move on to new things. Buster had said they all had signed contracts with the studio for the next ten years; it wasn't a contract for a show, but it was more a 'just in case' contract. With those contracts signed, they couldn't appear anywhere else without first obtaining permission from Warner Brothers Studios.

No, he was happy for them; this is what most of them wanted. However, he couldn't help but worry. He was used to routinely seeing his friends around the lot; between shoots and classes, lunch, meeting up after the day was done to hang out and talk or play ball or find something else to do.

Now though…they wouldn't be around. What was going to happen?

They'd probably forget about him. He was stuck at the lot and they would be free to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. They would no longer have any need to come to the lot; they could easily schedule their tutors to come to their houses, or go to theirs.

Buster might occasionally come to the lot; his father still wrote on 'Animaniacs' along with helping to punch up the scripts for that new show 'Freakazoid'.

A few weeks ago Yakko had been talking with some of the adults and said he wasn't sure how long that show was going to be on. The main star was a pill addict. Foghorn said the boy had so many ups and downs he reminded him of a yo-yo. Wakko would have loved to hear more but they seemed to remember he was there and quickly changed the conversation.

Wakko actually liked the show well enough; it was sort of weird, but weird equals creativity.

"What's wrong Wak?"

Wakko turned his head to look at Buster; he had forgotten where he was for a few minutes.

"Nothing, just thinking."

"No wonder I didn't recognize the look on your face; you do it so rarely."

"Piss off Bunny," Wakko said, smacking him with the paper.

"Seriously, what's up?" Buster asked as he turned around in the chair to face him. "Upset because Max isn't eating the mac and cheese with your face on it anymore?"

Actually, that was sort of amusing. Wakko had almost died laughing when he had first been told that there was going to be an 'Animaniacs' Macaroni and Cheese. Those people at Kraft were nuts.

Personally, he had been more excited with the video games with them, though Buster had told him not to get his hopes up. The first 'Tiny Toon' game wasn't that great he said.

Wakko didn't tell him he liked the game and had it. He hid it in his Hammerspace when anyone came over though; he didn't want them laughing at him. But, he knew Plucky had a copy of the 'Animaniacs' game; he confessed that he and Max played it on occasion. Max refused to acknowledge that he even knew 'Animaniacs' had a game out.

"Out with it Inky," Buster said, tapping him on the head. "I've been friends with you long enough to know something's wrong."

Wakko frowned for a moment before sighing. He might be able to fool some people, but usually not Buster. The rabbit's senses were too sharp. He guessed they had to be though. Rabbit toon or not, they still possessed some of the same instincts that a real rabbit would. He supposed Buster's senses were so sharp since out in the real world he'd probably be considered lunch for about seventy-five percent of the species out there.

It must suck, being an animal everything considered 'prey'.

"It's…this," Wakko said, gesturing to the article while around him the others continued to laugh and joke and throw food at each other. "You guys will be leaving, you know?"

Seeing the rabbit still watching him Wakko gave a little shrug and continued, using his spoon to slowly stir the leftover soup in his bowl.

"I don't know, I'm used to you being here every day, but now - soon, you won't be and, you know, I'm sort of worried we won't see each other."

He really hoped he didn't sound like a complete idiot. Or selfish; he wasn't trying to be. He was just going to really miss them.

"Damn Wak, I thought you respected me a bit more than that," Buster hissed after a minute while he narrowed his eyes. "You think just because I'm not at the lot every single day I'm not gonna be your friend?"

"What?" Alarmed, Wakko held his hands up, dropping his spoon and splashing Max's shirt with some of the liquid.

"Damn it Mime! My shirt - "

"Thank him later Max," Plucky said. "It can only help that monstrosity. Now, you really think - "

"That isn't what I meant!" Wakko insisted to the glaring rabbit while Max and Plucky began to happily insult each other. "I just meant that because - "

"Because we're not here - I'm not here - for a show that I'm just gonna forget about you?" Buster snapped quietly. "Did I abandon you any other time, huh? Did I dump you when you pulled that crap a few months ago and almost gave me a damn heart attack because you were too busy playing a game to go eat, huh?"

"Am I gonna hear about that forever? I said I was sorry!"

"How about when all that junk came out in the papers about your past - I leave ya then?"

"No!" Wakko said, trying to be heard over the rabbit.

"When you did that interview a few months ago about your little problem - who sat on the side with your family while you talked, huh?"

That was true; Buster had come back to the lot and sat with Yakko and Dot while he talked to the interviewer. He was still annoyed he had to bring it out like he had, but Dot had been right. No one had said anything really bad and he was hardly the only person in Hollywood with the disease.

He still got uncomfortable if someone asked him about it, but he was getting used to it. He was just so used to trying to hide it, he sometimes forgot now that he no longer had to.

"Or when you and the dippy duck decided to run over for a quick tour of the Disney lot? I knew Dad was gonna beat my ass for it but damned if I didn't go along with you - "

"Shut up Buster," Wakko said. "Let me finish!"

"Go right ahead," Buster said airily, waving his hand. "Knowing you there's plenty of ways left to insult me and put your own foot in your mouth."

"OK, OK, I said it wrong," Wakko admitted. "But look…" Sighing he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off. But you're not gonna be here anymore. I'm gonna be stuck here - "

"You mean like you are now? In case you've forgotten Wakko, here's a refresher for you. My father's one of the chaperones. He's also a writer on your show and he's always here. Remember how he drives you to my house on the weekends or when you guys are on hiatus?" Tapping roughly on Wakko's head he asked, "Any of this familiar yet?

"Ow - stop doing that!" Wakko snapped, jerking his head away from Buster's sharp knuckles. "I know that! But we're not gonna see each other as much - "

"Oh, we will," Buster said. "Or almost as much. Bugs tutors Yakko too…you remember that right? I'll have to be up here certain days for that, plus Bugs is taking over for some of my basics since I refuse to use that witch Flameil anymore."

"Lucky," Wakko grumbled. "Wish we could get rid of her."

He did too; they all hated her. Yakko had a special dislike for her, mostly because she made Dot cry by accusing her of stealing her pen off her desk. After yelling at Dot long enough that she went sobbing out of the room to find Yakko, he had gone over there and yelled at her loud enough it had brought Bugs and Daffy over.

Come to find out, Dot just happened to have the same pen as the wrinkled old prune and her own pen had been in her desk the whole time. Under Bugs' and Daffy's withering glares the woman had managed to stutter out an apology.

And Dot, the lucky snot got out of having to have any more classes with her; Porky started doing her basics. Dot, a sobbing ball of fur wailing into Yakko's shirt, had claimed she was too scared to successfully tutor with the woman any longer.

Wakko knew that was crap though. He finally cornered her and she confessed she wasn't as traumatized as she let on. She just saw an opportunity to get out of having to deal with the woman further and she jumped on it.

He of course had been mad; mostly because the opportunity to do the same had never presented itself. The woman was always yelling at him and making him write lines but she had yet to make him cry. Maybe the next time she yelled at him he could try to cry and run screaming out of the room too.

Sure, he'd look about as manly as Skippy, but if it was to get away from her, it might be worth it. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Dot was a genius. She had single-handedly figured out how to get away from her, nothing any of the other children on the lot had managed to do.

"With the way she alienates people, it might not be much longer," Buster said. "No one is staying with her. Max's family hired some high price tutor for him plus he's got Jeeves that does some; after all we can't have the golden boy failing history. Hampton's parents are tutors anyway; I know Plucky's gonna be doing some stuff with them along with Daffy."

"Well, I can't wait for the day I don't have to do anything with her," Wakko grumbled.

"I can't wait for the day you actually stop worrying about our friendship," Buster grumbled back. "Honestly, can't you just accept that I like your goofy ass for some reason and let it go? I don't have any intention of not being friends with you just because you're stuck on the lot. And you're not gonna be stuck here forever stupid."

"Wish I was," Wakko said. "This weekend's gonna partially suck."

"Asshole!" Buster said, punching him in the arm. "You're coming to my house and if it sucks that hard you can keep your black-furred ass - "

"Change in plans," Wakko said, briefly rubbing his arm before hauling off and punching Buster back. "Yakko's making us go to Goose's house to do some work. I'll be over Saturday afternoon."

"Bummer. Still, nice of you to go over there, help out and all."

"I guess," Wakko grumbled.

It wasn't his favorite thing to do, but it was OK. Dot just sat on the porch with Goose and her daughter and knitted what looked like rows of knots. She claimed some long lumpy green thing she made was a scarf for Yakko. Wakko thought it looked like something that might have come from Elmyra's dog when it was particularly sick.

But he and Yakko were the ones actually doing work. But, it seemed to make Goose happy, he didn't mind that much. And at least Yakko was asking instead of demanding he do something; that was always appreciated.

"Fine, you'll be over Saturday, we can hang out, hopefully you'll stop being an ass about any of us abandoning you - "

"You're a moron Mime," Max said, looking over his shoulder briefly before turning to throw something across the table at Babs. "Stop worrying. If I can tolerate getting your drool on my hand, I think I can have Jeeves drive me up here to see you."

With that he slapped Wakko on the back of the head before turning to shove a cupcake in Plucky's face.

"Same here," Plucky added, wiping the frosting off his bill before knocking Max off his seat and to the floor.

"See? Nothing's changed," Buster said. "I'm still your best friend, you're still going to have to put up with Max and Plucky, Elmyra's still gonna love her little-bitty-cuddle-head-"

"Shut up Buster," Wakko snapped.

He made a mental note to call her later though; yesterday she had been fretting because her dog, Cooler, was sick. And she wasn't scheduled to film anything today so she wasn't there.

"No; you say dumb shit, it's what you get. We can call, we visit each other; other than being up here a few less days a week it's not going to change much. For an airhead you really worry a lot."

Feeling Buster throw his arm around his neck before pulling him in for a noogie, Wakko agreed.

OK, he was worrying overmuch. No one was going to forget him despite their show being cancelled and him being stuck at the lot. The days might be a little lonelier, but Buster was right.

Like usual.

He wondered sometimes why they got along so well; Buster was almost a certified genius. He was sort of a dumbass sometimes.

XXXXXXXXXX

March 28, 1996

"Come on sibs, try eating the food - "

Yakko choked off as Wakko threw an extremely well aimed fry, sending it shooting down his throat mid-lecture while Dot burst into new peels of laughter.

Well, he couldn't fault his brother's pitching skills. He would rather he demonstrate them in a less hazardous way. Both of them had invented a new game…'whose the best at hitting big brother?'

So far Wakko was winning; the fry down his throat was a good throw under any circumstance. Dot had a cucumber that had landed right on his forehead earlier, but missed going in his mouth.

He sort of wished they had chosen a different object to throw their food at. He was happy they were happy, but he was growing a little tired of being the target in the food fight.

Well, he was going to make them clean up the mess. He had to tolerate having the stuff thrown at him, they were going to pick everything up.

Shooting Wakko a glare that broke off into a grin he stood, grabbing his plate. If Wakko was just going to use the food as ammunition, Yakko determined he was finished. With that thought he took Dot's too; she hadn't eaten anything in about five minutes, but she had been trying to shove tomatoes down Wakko's shirt.

It didn't stop their playing; they grabbed their forks and began a very epic though strangely choreographed sword fight that began with them in their chairs and very quickly escalated to them dashing around the kitchen table at each other.

Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Yakko quickly wiped off the tongs he had cooked the chicken with. Waiting until she rounded the table, laughing and screaming at Wakko he turned and also began chasing after her, snapping at her ears.

They were both in the mood to play, and why should any of them not be? No one actually had homework due for a few days. They were done filming the season; it was still a little on the short side, but it was still longer than the last season. Ms. Cunningham was already beginning to negotiate their new contract, as there were serious talks about Animaniacs continuing on for a fourth season. He hadn't heard another word about Dad attempting to write him again.

Nothing could ruin his own happy mood. Mr. Plotz had informed him that beginning sometime next month he would allow 'a chosen few' to begin giving him driving lessons. After he obtained his learner's permit of course. He was slightly over five months away from his sixteenth birthday. Bugs said he would grab him the book from the DMV, help him study, whatever he needed to do. As soon as he had that, he could start.

The only kicker on that was that Bugs was not 'in the chosen few'. Despite Bugs only getting one speeding ticket in the last year, Mr. Plotz had informed them that the rabbit's more interesting interpretations of the rules of the road were legendary. He was not going to allow Bugs to pass on his notorious driving skills to the next generation.

Bugs had at first been highly insulted and Yakko had to refrain from laughing at him. Bugs had been much better about his driving - no one could deny that. But Bugs had a record at the DMV so dotted with infractions that connecting them together would probably form a bunny.

Yakko himself was slightly upset that Bugs wouldn't be one of his teachers for that momentous event. He doubted Foghorn would either; while the chicken didn't have a horrible driving record, he was well known to like fast cars and racing. Porky might be, but he drove like an old man. So did Scratchansniff. Yakko yawned; they would no doubt be two among 'the chosen few'.

He wasn't that concerned; he liked both adults and speed was hardly the issue. He needed to learn to drive the car.

Watching Dot run from the kitchen, Wakko in pursuit he quickly followed, clicking the tongs together. Normally he tried to get the dishes done before any playing, but even he was feeling uncharacteristically hyper. The dishes could soak; he and Wakko could do them in a little while.

Seeing Wakko go running off down the hallway and Dot scuttle to the front of the couch and disappear Yakko got on his hands and knees, intent on getting her first. No one could outsmart big brother, especially in that crappy a hiding spot.

Reaching the couch he slowly crept around the corner, fully expecting to see Dot giggling in the cushions when he felt the tongs ripped out of his hands.

He'd just been outsmarted…by an eight year old. He had been so intent on sneaking up on her that he hadn't noticed Dot run all the way around the couch. With a yell of triumph she gently closed the tongs over his nose, laughing.

"Got ya!"

"Yeah, you did!" Yakko laughed.

Noticing Wakko creeping up behind her around the corner, his tongue peeking out of his mouth while he concentrated, Yakko laughed to himself before giving him a wink. His brother needed to hurry.

"Who's the best at getting you now?"

"Oh definitely you sister-sibling," Yakko agreed.

"New game!" Wakko bellowed. "Get Dot!"

Dot's laugh cut off and became a howl of shock and rage. Yakko laughed at her face; she had been so busy congratulating herself on getting him she hadn't noticed Wakko come up behind her. For her carelessness she got several ice cubes down the back of her shirt.

"I'll get you for that Wakko!" She hissed.

Flicking the drops of water on his glove in her face Wakko said, "With what? Gonna throw something at me?" Getting a haughty look on his face and turning he said, "If you throw something at me I'll be the only thing safe - your aim stinks."

Yakko laughed again as Dot pounced on Wakko, shoving a pillow from the couch on his face as he fell over backwards.

"Geroff!"

"No! Take it back!"

Yakko sat back on heels, watching them for a second before raising his ears, hearing scuffling on the landing. He raised them higher when he heard a loud short knock.

Standing and walking to the door he looked over his shoulder at his two squabbling siblings.

"Dot, don't kill him yet. You'll want help for cleaning up the kitchen."

He snickered at her puzzled 'huh'.

"I'm not doing it, not this time. You two tie, go at least pick up all the food on the floor."

"I don't wanna," Dot whined, getting a pout on her face.

_Not gonna work…not this time._

"Fine," Yakko shrugged. Turning around he winced at the second knock, louder and more frantic than the first and added, "I'll do it. If I have to do it though, I'll save it and make the two of you eat it for dinner tomorrow. And remember guys, it's been a lot longer than five seconds."

He snickered at the look the two of them exchanged before they got up and dashed back toward the kitchen. He wouldn't have done that – probably – but they didn't need to know that. At eight and eleven they could clean up after themselves to some degree.

He almost doubled over at a third knock; much louder than the previous two. He glared at the door for a moment; whoever this was on the other side was going to get an earful. It sounded like they were knocking on his door with a mallet.

"I'm coming!" He yelled before muttering under his breath, "Damn impatient people."

Yanking the door open with a glare he raised a hand, fully intending on hollering at someone when he saw it was Bugs.

"Wondered if you were gonna get it doc."

"I was busy," Yakko shrugged. At Bugs' look he added, "Target practice."

"I'm not going to ask."

Yakko raised an eyebrow at Bugs, wondering what he was doing there. Bugs was always welcome, no matter the day or time, but the rabbit usually had a habit of calling if he was coming by for some reason.

From the look on his face, Yakko quickly guessed this wasn't going to be a friendly 'drop by for coffee' chat. He quickly went through the last week in his head; none of them had caused any trouble. Filming was done. Nothing had been crashed or torched that he was aware of. No one had been insulted, teased or tormented. The Warners had been a well-behaved group for the last few weeks.

"You OK Bugs?"

"No." After a second he added, "Look, Doc…Yakko, I gotta tell you something. I said I'd do it, didn't want her to make the call, not after that…"

Feeling a slight shiver run down his spine, Yakko waited for a moment, leaning against the door jam before realizing how rude that was.

"Sorry Bugs. Come in, sit down. Just relax, it can't be that bad."

"It is, and thanks. Wakko and Dot are - "

"Right there," Yakko said, pointing toward the kitchen door where they were both peeking out, looking at them. "Just come on out guys."

"No," Bugs said, slowly beginning to sit on the couch before standing. "Look, maybe we should go outside - "

Frowning at Bugs for a second, Yakko turned to Wakko and Dot.

"Look, guys, can you go to your rooms, just for a few minutes?"

"We wanna hear!" Dot said.

"Yeah, we miss out on the good stuff!" Wakko added. "Um…besides, we're not done cleaning the kitchen."

Right.

Yakko shook his head; he was starting to dislike the look on Bugs' face. The rabbit looked on the verge of tears. When the rabbit looked away briefly and ran a hand over his face Yakko turned back to them, his good mood from earlier slowly melting away.

"No. Look, guys, I'll tell you whatever it is in awhile, just go OK? Please?"

"But - "

"Go," he said, more firmly than before, pointing toward the hallway and cutting off Wakko. "I'll come get you in awhile."

He chose to ignore the muttering and looks being thrown at him as they both went stomping off down the hallway towards the bedrooms. He finally heard the door to his bedroom close and he went down the hallway to check. They had both retreated to his bedroom; Dot's was empty.

Going back up the hallway he saw Bugs sitting on the couch, twiddling a carrot in his hands. For once he wasn't actually crunching away on it. He was just spinning it around in his hand like a baton.

Feeling his frown deepen, Yakko went to stand beside the couch, his good mood from earlier evaporating and being replaced with a feeling of dread. Bugs never acted like this. Something was very wrong.

"OK Bugs, sibs are behind closed doors. What's wrong?"

"Please sit down," Bugs said in a heavy throaty voice.

Figuring that was a reasonable request, Yakko shrugged and did so hesitantly. He wished he had a carrot to fiddle around with too. He wished Bugs would just get on with whatever he had to say. His tutor knew him well, his moods, his likes and dislikes, his taste on everything from girls to music to clothing and what salad dressing he preferred.

He'd like to think he knew his tutor pretty well too. Bugs had a taste for red-heads, carrots, and card games with 'reasonable' stakes. He also possessed a tongue sharp enough to draw blink when crossed. He rarely stuttered and Yakko could never really remember a time when the rabbit was at a loss for words.

Even with him not yet having said a word, Yakko was anxious and nervous about what the rabbit would tell him. He hadn't been this nervous the night he had to call him from Natwick or when he had first met him.

"Ehhhh…Bugs, you're sort of worrying me. You read that paper I wrote?" Yakko asked, trying to lighten the mood. "I know it wasn't my best work really, I got distracted - "

"Not a paper doc, not this time."

Sighing, Bugs looked at him and Yakko was surprised to see that he looked extremely old at the moment. Bugs was older sure; he was well past fifty, but for a toon in reasonably good health that was middle aged, or close to it.

As a species, toons were relative new comers. Toons themselves, along with Animators and human doctors had been studying them for years, comparing and contrasting them with humans and any other species on the planet. At this time, the best guess any of the most renowned doctors or specialists had been able to determine was that toons had a longer life span than humans, upwards of twenty years or more.

It was well known that toons could get many of the diseases that humans could; diabetes, AIDS, cancer, heart disease. Being originally designed by humans, it was only natural that the very first creators - the fathers of the toon species - would model them on what they themselves knew; the human body. Hearts, livers, lungs, wombs, all the internal organs in a human would be present in the toon body, except they were wafer thin and more fragile than a humans.

As the toons grew, so did the number of animals, reptiles, fish and insects that would be represented. And as new animals were introduced, the diseases that could affect their real life counterparts could take hold. A fish toon, such as Mr. Limpett, or even a half fish - a mermaid such as Ariel - could get everything from Costia to Ich to Discus Flu.

Oh no…Bugs was a rabbit.

Yakko quickly went over what he knew about rabbit health; unsurprisingly that wasn't much.

Bugs could catch the other diseases true, but rabbits could catch snuffles - some silly name for a whole group of diseases for rabbits. He knew it could cause respiratory problems, ear infections, heart problems…

No, not Bugs…right? The guy lived off fruits and vegetables…and coffee. He had to be OK.

Maybe he just had a bad case of ear mites. Or wet-tail…no, that was ridiculous, Bugs wouldn't have driven to the lot to inform him he had the rabbit version of 'explosive diarrhea'.

Yakko felt his stomach lurch a little, the salad and chicken he had for dinner momentarily rotating in his stomach. Bugs was sick…that's why he didn't want Wakko and Dot there. He wanted to tell Yakko first, then have him speak to the younger kids.

Bugs couldn't be sick; Yakko saw him yesterday and he was fine. He was overreacting.

Swallowing, Yakko said quietly, "Come on Bugs, what is it?"

"Look, doc, I didn't want you to read about it in the papers when it gets out. She was well enough known…it'll be in there. It damn well better be. Figured you deserved to hear it from someone you know…"

_What?_

Yakko ran a hand through his hair, trying to bite back his anxiety and frustration. Bugs was stalling, also not a trait he displayed often.

"Bugs, please - what's going on? Who - "

Not looking at him, Bugs continued to spin the carrot around in his hands before finally speaking.

"I got a call, from Charlotte a few hours ago. Penny - "

_No…_

" - was taken to ToonTown HVM earlier today. She - "

_Not Goose. Not her. _

" Charlotte said she didn't suffer; said she was just sitting in her chair on the porch, probably admiring the flowers when she just closed her eyes - you still with me? Doc? Yakko!"

"What?"

Bugs had to be wrong; Goose? He wasn't saying what he thought he was saying; Goose was fine.

She just went to the hospital, that wasn't a big deal, not at her age. She was old…older, she wasn't that old. And she had a few health problems -

"Yakko? Snap out of it kid!"

Yakko looked at Bugs, wondering what he was getting so upset about.

"I'll get her a card; she likes cards."

Hell, all girls did. Sort of a waste of time as far as he was concerned, but Goose would appreciate it.

"Yakko. OK, maybe you didn't hear - "

"I'm getting her a card," Yakko said, a little more firmly than before.

Because you didn't get cards for dead people. You got them for sick people.

Or the family of a person who passed away. But Goose wasn't dead. He'd get a card, with flowers on it; she'd like that.

"OK, right. Card," Bugs muttered, running a hand over his ears. "Wakko! Dot!"

"They're in the bedroom," Yakko said, trying to concentrate on the conversation.

She wasn't dead. She wasn't dead. Goose was almost an immortal.

Yakko watched as Bugs stood and headed toward the hallway. He started to stand as well; he tried but was alarmed to find that he was actually having problems moving.

Maybe it was a really bad joke…Bugs usually had a better sense of humor.

"Wakko, Dot - look you two," Bugs said. "You guys are gonna come stay with me a few days."

_They are? We should really go see Goose._

_Because she's not dead._

"I need you to go pack some clothing, OK? Yakko?"

"What?"

"Stay there - no. Stay there."

_No need to get so bossy._

Yakko blinked at him as he sat back on the couch. Bugs quickly talked to Wakko and Dot in a quiet voice and Yakko briefly raised his ears, trying to hear what he was saying.

He hoped Bugs wasn't telling them…that. Because it was a joke. In really poor taste.

_You saw Bugs…no joking this time._

Yakko watched Wakko and Dot nod before going back down the hallway, not before shooting him curious concerned looks and he vaguely wondered what they had been told. They would be upset if Bugs just told them that.

Shouldn't he be more upset? He was closer to Goose than he was his mother, and he cried when his mother died. This woman - who wasn't dead - was one of the strongest female role models in his life.

He should really smack Bugs for making this sort of joke.

"Yakko? Come here doc, we gotta do some things."

"No, I - "

"Come here. In the kitchen. Now. Please."

Sighing, Yakko stood slowly, wondering why Bugs was speaking in such short sharp sentences to him and why he felt like he had just been beaten. Everything on his body had a painful numbness to it.

"Come on. Pack Wakko's medicine," Bugs directed, putting an arm around his shoulder and guiding him into the kitchen. "You do that, I'll clean up the kitchen. Not gonna wanna come back to that."

"Where are we going?" Yakko asked, trying to pull himself together.

He sort of remembered Bugs saying they were going somewhere…

"Coming to my place, at least for now. You had a bad shock doc. No," Bugs said when Yakko went to the sink. "You just get the medicine," he said, placing his hands on Yakko's shoulders and steering him toward the refrigerator. Opening the door he added, "That's all I want you to do. I'll be back in a second."

Bugs gave him a look before reaching into a cabinet, pulling out a bag.

"Put them in here. That's all I need you to do. I'm going to check on Wakko and Dot, OK? You just stay here."

With that he quickly ran from the kitchen, his quiet footsteps echoing down the hallway.

Yakko heard him talking in the hallway to his sibling, who five minutes ago had been hyper and wearing him out with their natural enthusiasm. Now the two of them were talking in quiet subdued voices. He raised his ears to hear them, then decided against it and lowered them. He wasn't all that interested in what they were saying; he had his own worries.

Bugs was taking them to his house. Goose was…

He wasn't going to think about that. Because it couldn't be true.

He tried to tell himself that. If he kept repeating it enough he might believe it.

Slowly and methodically Yakko began unloading the vials of insulin. That's all Bugs said he wanted him to do. Get Wakko's insulin. He wasn't sure if he could do more than that right now anyway.

He pulled the vials out of their box, one at a time, watching the clear liquid gently wash against the glass before he gently put them in the bag.

"Yakko…OK, didn't want them out of the box but it'll work," Bugs said, stepping into the kitchen, being followed by Dot.

Yakko looked down at her for a second. She looked terrified, her big eyes reflecting the light being cast by the refrigerator bulb.

"Yakko?" She said hesitantly, stepping toward him. "What's wrong? How come you're taking Wak - "

"Dot, can you help me?" Bugs said hurriedly.

"Yakko's doing it wrong," Dot said in an insistent tone. "We don't take - "

"We gotta get the kitchen cleaned," Bugs said, talking right over her. "Can you grab the rest of the stuff off the table?"

"But Yakko's - "

"Promise I'll explain everything later, OK? Yakko's just got a lot on his mind; just please, help me now?" At her look he added very quietly, "Helping me will help him. And you want to do that right?"

Yakko cocked his head at them for a moment before resuming his moving of the bottles, wondering why they were whispering.

He needed to concentrate on the insulin. Wakko would need these, his needles too. He had to remember to grab the needles.

Wondering why moving the small bottles was taking so long and everything seemed to be going in slow motion, including Wakko who just ran into the kitchen carrying two bags he continued. He was almost surprised that Wakko and Dot seemed to pick up on the fact that something was obviously very wrong because neither of them said a word as they helped Bugs get the dishes done and pick up the leftover food on the floor. Wakko even volunteered to take the trash out before they left.

It could be like an extra special vacation from hell. They could go, spend the weekend at Bugs' place…he could try to make sense of why a good day had completely gone down the toilet and why his family seemed to be eyeing him like he had just lost his mind.

XXXXXXXXX

"Do you understand Wakko? Do you Dot?"

"Yes," Dot said, trying to look more confident than she really felt.

"Yeah," Wakko said while nodding. "So when are you gonna tell us what's really going on?"

Dot threw her brother a small grin, admiring him. He didn't care if he got in trouble, he would simply throw caution to the wind and just flat out ask what was happening.

She was glad he would. She wanted to, she was scared and confused, but she wasn't foolhardy enough to push Bugs right now. He didn't look mad, but he looked…stressed. She supposed that was a good enough word. Yakko sure used it enough.

"I told you doc, this is a conversation I think your brother needs to be in on when he's feeling better. Whether that's in two hours or two days, we do it then. If he wakes up at three in the morning and is up to it, that's when we do it. Don't ask me again, OK?"

Wakko folded his ears down, looking resigned to being left out again, and Dot snuggled closer to him on the couch. In Yakko's absence he was the natural one she'd snuggle to. Besides, Bugs didn't seem to be in a snuggling mood.

"Look, guys, it's been a long day. Here's the remote; just…watch TV for a few minutes, OK? I need to check on Yakko - "

"Can I come?" Dot asked.

She wanted to see Yakko. He was scaring her. He hadn't said a word since before they left the tower. It was like someone took the real Yakko and replaced him with a wax statue; it had all his features but it wasn't him.

Bugs said he was 'in shock' and they just needed to be patient. She was tired of being patient; she wanted to know what was happening. Especially if it made her normally talkative brother a mute.

"No, we need to let him rest - "

_So why are you going in then?_

" - and then I need to make a few phone calls." Sitting down between them for a moment he put his arms around them and said, "Look kiddies, I know this is probably sorta confusing - "

_Sorta?_

" - but trust me, ganging up on Yakko right now isn't one of the best ideas. Just trust me, being a little patient now is gonna count for a lot in the long run." Sighing he said, "I promise you guys, if he isn't feeling better soon I'll tell you guys, briefly, what's going on OK?"

Figuring that was the best they were going to get, Dot nodded. Looking at Wakko briefly and catching his eye, she mouthed for him to nod and he finally did so, giving one curt bob of his head.

Giving them a brief smile, Bugs stood and left the living room. Dot watched him go before giving a small sigh of her own.

"What do you think?" She quietly asked Wakko.

"I think it stinks that he won't tell us what's going on," Wakko grumbled. "He's our brother." Slinking further down in the cushion and putting his arm around her he added, "I didn't get to hear much, what Bugs said to him. You?"

Dot shook her head. This was the first time she had been alone with Wakko since Bugs had come to the tower and told Yakko something he obviously didn't want to hear. She had secretly been hoping that Wakko had heard something and would tell her as soon as Bugs left.

Apparently not though; she would be able to tell. And Wakko rarely kept anything from her. He was gently chewing on his lip and staring at the blank television screen.

She had tried to listen some, when she and Wakko had been in the bedroom, their ears pressed to the closed door. They hadn't been able to hear anything; Yakko and Bugs had been talking too quietly. When Bugs had called them to come out and asked them to pack a bag for a trip to his place, all she had heard was Bugs asking, then using a more ordering tone to have Yakko pack Wakko's medicine.

But Yakko had done it wrong. He had just slowly removed each vial from the sleeve in the box and laid it in a paper bag. They had a special bag - a refrigerator bag that could hold the insulin and keep it cool. And he didn't even need to use the bag if he didn't want. She had seen Yakko or Wakko put it in their Hammerspaces; it would stay cool back there for awhile, at least long enough to get to Bugs' house.

And Yakko…he just sat in the front seat for the whole ride and never said a word, even when someone spoke to him. He didn't respond.

That scared her; it was like when he was in the coma before, in the hospital, except this time he was awake. He moved on his own, he blinked and could carry things, but he seemed unaware about what was happening around him.

He didn't even pack his own bag; Wakko had packed it for him. Wakko had even remembered to get Yakko's guitar. She had to smile at him for that; Wakko always found his solace in music. He once said that no matter what happened to him, no matter how awful it was, he could always take comfort with an instrument in his hand. If he touched it with a gentle stroke it would always take care of him.

Then Max had said that was way more information than he wanted on Wakko's personal life and he should never say the phrase 'touch my instrument with a gentle stroke' around him again.

That had sent her brother chasing off after him while everyone laughed. She had no idea what Wakko's butthead friend meant that time - she rarely did - but for that moment Wakko had seemed so at peace when he spoke that she had been envious of him.

She wished she could take that sort of comfort in an instrument. The piano frustrated and confused her; if she had her choice she would have dropped the class long ago. It was only at the studio's instance that she continued it.

While Yakko didn't care for playing the piano and loathed their tutor as much as she did, he frequently looked content playing his guitar. She had seen Wakko hand it and his backpack to Yakko before he was led upstairs by a very concerned looking Bugs. The rabbit said Yakko needed to rest and think.

"Let's just watch TV. We're not going to get anything out of them tonight. Hey, I think 'Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries' is on, we'll watch that, OK?"

Dot nodded; she knew that Wakko hated the show and was only putting it on for her. She appreciated it; she was already upset enough that she really didn't want to sit through 'Earthworm Jim' or some silly wrestling show. That would probably make her start crying.

If the look on Yakko's face was any indication though, she had a feeling it was going to be a very upsetting weekend and she may end up crying anyway.

XXXXXXXXXX

"_What the hell - I mean heck is that?"_

_Yakko pointed towards the purple outfit in Goose's hand, all sparkly and sequined while wrinkling his nose._

"_It's your new costume Yakko."_

"_You gotta be kidding me. It looks like you stripped a pimp of his outfit."_

"_Don't be crude," Goose sniffed, shoving the outfit toward him. "Just try it on; took me a lot to get this."_

"_Yeah, I've heard Liberace is a real pain about sharing his outfits."_

_This thing's ghastly…_

"_Cute. It took my daughter a few weeks to tailor this outfit to your size - "_

"_I'm not wearing it."_

"_You will. You always say you won't do something, but you do." Waving the costume at him again she said, "Just go try it on."_

"_No." Deciding to take a page out of Wakko's book he stomped his foot; it was always successful for him. "You can't make me." At her raised eyebrow he determined the childish gesture wasn't going to work as well for him. He decided to try getting louder and said, "You try and I'll quit."_

"_You're no quitter; besides, I refuse to accept your resignation." Holding it out to him again she said, "You were tired of being 'Puddles' - "_

"_I was tired of wearing that the first week," Yakko muttered. "You try lugging around fifty pounds of feathers on your ass - ow!"_

_Rubbing the base of his ear he glared at her. Why did she always go for that spot? She knew it was a sensitive area._

"_Don't swear. I told you before Yakko, you're way too intelligent to express yourself that way. Now," she continued, "I saw you with those cards a few weeks ago - "_

"_Which time?"_

"_When you were entertaining your brother and his little friends."_

_Oh, right. _

_Wakko had made friends with a little boy and girl - a brother and sister from the looks of them. The little boy didn't have his gloves, but the little girl did and had been bragging about them and all she was accomplishing, though from what Yakko could see, other than being full of herself she hadn't accomplished much. She hadn't even breached her Hammerspace yet._

_Wakko, not to be outdone, chose to brag about his big brother 'Puddles' instead. And he either was a consummate little liar or he was way more impressed with the whole 'Puddles' thing than he needed to be. From listening to Wakko, those kids probably thought he was an expert in everything from astrophysics to zoology and was a better magician than Houdini and Penn and Teller combined._

_But after a little begging, Yakko hadn't minded showing them a few simple shuffles and card tricks. He had even let Wakko take the deck and show off for them too. _

_It wasn't that bad a talent, not all of it. It was nice he was able to use some part of his father's 'training' for something besides helping him to pay his weekly gambling debt. And Wakko had a ball showing off the simple flairs and shuffles he knew._

"_That was just a one time thing," he muttered. "I didn't - "_

"_Yakko," Goose said, holding out the outfit. "You got a talent; you looked delighted talking to those little ones. That's a gift, one you should harness and use."_

"_It's a secret talent I'll hide away." Seeing her go to speak again he said, "You try, and…I'll…I'll call the Society! They'll fire you! Yeah!" Crossing his arms and smirking he added, "Now, give me my real costume so I can get changed."_

"_I burned it. And they wouldn't fire me; I'm one of their oldest volunteers. Hell, I'm on the committee that hires new volunteers." _

_Yakko felt his face fall. No matter what he said, she usually found a way around him. _

_Smirking she shook the costume at him again and said, "You want to go change or should I do it for you right here on the floor?"_

_Yakko quickly took two steps back; Goose was a fat old lady. She was also an extremely strong fat old lady who was quite talented in a variety of areas. She probably would strip him naked in the middle of the kiddie section and bundle him in the costume. _

"_Sadist!" Yakko hissed, narrowing his eyes at her. "You humiliate me for how long as a duck - "_

"_Goose."_

"_-and now you want to make me look like some Vegas reject with an outfit that would make Elton John blush with shame?"_

"_I didn't get this to humiliate you Yakko," Goose said. At his look she added, "Much. But, I figured you had graduated from being 'Puddles'. One of the reasons I always start with that costume is because it's highly embarrassing, but, if you can hack being in that outfit, you can face anything else, and trust me, some of the outfits I've seen on some stars are much worse."_

_Stars. _

_Yakko snorted. Goose always acted like she was grooming him to be some sort of actor. He didn't want to be a star; he just wanted his twenty dollars a week._

_Well, and the satisfaction he got out of doing the job well. Not that he would tell her that. _

_Getting a weird dreamy look on her face she continued._

"_Another reason is because the costume hides most of your face. It gives whoever's in it time to get used to being in front of the audience without having to worry about facial expressions. But you've graduated far beyond that. And with this new outfit, you gain the ability to use your hands, something you have said before you wanted to learn."_

_OK. That was true._

_She reached out to briefly touch his face, and he didn't shy away this time, like he usually did. _

_Cupping his chin in her hand she said, "You're so talented, have so much potential and you don't even see it. The talent you have, entertaining the little ones, weaving together a story or song - "_

"_It's not talent," Yakko muttered. "It's constant sleep deprivation and fear and desperation of being in - "_

"_It's a talent." Sighing she got the sad old lady look on her face he always fell for and added, "You share it with your brother and sister everyday; now you got an opportunity to share it with countless children that weren't lucky enough to be born with an older brother like you."_

_Wow. Well, when put that way…_

_Yakko determined that he was not going to get out of wearing it, even if he would look like a purple-people eater. He glared at the outfit for a few seconds before roughly snatching it from her. _

_He grabbed it so hard he yanked it off the hanger and left that in her hand as he stomped off toward the bathroom, telling Wakko to keep his furry butt where it was parked and to watch Dot._

"_Oh, and it's got a hat!"_

_Lovely._

"_Hurry up maestro, they'll be arriving soon."_

_Can't believe this…_

"_Yakky the maesty!"_

_On no…not them too…_

"_Puddles?"_

_Yakko heard Goose start speaking to Wakko as he continued to stomp out of the section._

"_No dear one, Puddles is dead and gone - there's only Yakko now."_

Eyes widened, Yakko jerked himself to a sitting position on the bed, heart hammering in his chest and sweat making his shirt stick to his body.

Taking deep gasping breaths, he ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm down.

Where the hell had that come from? He hadn't thought about that hideous purple monstrosity that Goose had coerced his ass into since…well, probably since the last time he had worn it. At the time, he really did have other things on his mind. Until he had this dream he had actually forgotten about it.

Goose…

He closed his eyes. He still didn't believe it.

Opening his eyes he looked at the alarm clock; eight-thirty-seven. He knew he was at Bugs' house; he sort of remembered the drive there…Concentrating he didn't really remember much. The entire miserable night was a haze.

Bugs dropping the bombshell on him in the living room. He remembered Bugs ordering him to get Wakko's medicine…sort of.

All he really remembered was Bugs telling him Goose…didn't make it.

He remembered Bugs coming in last night, putting a blanket over him and patting his head like he was a pet, telling him it was OK, Wakko and Dot were asleep in the spare bedrooms, and that they would talk in the morning. After briefly touching his forehead to his, Bugs had left the room almost as silently as he had come in.

Yakko hadn't said a word. He hadn't even opened his eyes until Bugs was walking out the door, disappearing into the brightly lit hallway.

Like heading to the light.

Dead.

He mulled the word around in his head.

Death. The cessation of life. A termination of the biological functions that define life. Such a cold clinical analysis of something so damn painful.

Heading towards the light, or passing away…it sounded slightly more…peaceful, comforting. But it just skirted around what really happened.

Or, more crudely, checking out the grass from underneath. Taking a dirt nap. Worm food. All fairly accurate, but highly inappropriate to say.

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt a few tears start up and resigned himself to what Bugs had told him. This was no bad joke; even if he never spoke that inane thought he had out loud he insulted Bugs just by thinking it.

He hoped she didn't feel anything. Bugs said she just clutched her chest…another massive stroke? A heart attack? He said she was on her porch; had she been just sitting there, looking at the flowers and happily enjoying the day when it struck? Did she even realize what happened?

He laid back down, curling his long body into the fetal position. He should get up, talk to Bugs at least. Even if he barely remembered most of last night, he could recall that the rabbit had been concerned.

Yakko stiffened; Wakko and Dot. They were here; did they know? Had Bugs told them? If he had, Yakko was sure they would be upset and confused. The only other person they really knew who had died was their mother, and neither of them could really remember that. This though; they had seen Goose two weeks ago. They had spent part of Christmas at her house.

Would they understand? Did he?

Yakko felt a few tears escape his closed eyes and he let them fall. The last time he had seen her…it had been an enjoyable visit as usual. Charlotte cooked, he and Wakko and Bugs had raked up a few leaves that had fallen, planted a few flowers, Dot had sat there and happily talked to Goose and continued to try to learn to knit.

But he hadn't realized it would be the last time he would see her. Did she even realize how much she had meant to him? His parting hug hadn't been long enough, he hadn't talked to her as much as he should have, he hadn't told her again that without her they all might very well be separated or dead.

He should have told her. He should have told her so many times and he never did, he never seemed to get around to it, or something else was going on that he thought was so much more important, or he thought it would sound trite or corny.

Taking two minutes out of his life to actually say those words, "I love you. Thank you for believing in me, thank you for taking time out of your life to notice me, thank you for attempting to do some of the jobs that my own parents refused to do. I'm so sorry for taking you for granted especially when I was younger. I hope you have some idea how much I respect and admire you. Thank you - not only for what you did for me, but for Kit and the countless other kids you helped throughout your life."

He felt the tears starting to fall faster as he got lost in a wave of sharp painful nostalgia, remembering this woman. Not a parent, but the closest thing he had at one point in his life. He had never really told her, but he had depended on her for his self-esteem boosts, advice, information, moral support, and he had so rarely told her that.

When he had first told her he had breached his Hammerspace she had cheered and looked as proud as any parent would have looked. She had gone and used her own money to purchase his mallet, something a parent usually did.

And because of her, he had known what to do when Wakko's time came, then Dot's.

Yakko felt his lower lip trembling and he struggled to stop it; he shouldn't be crying. He should get up, wash his face, go find Wakko and Dot, talk to them. If Bugs hadn't told them they needed to be informed. It wasn't fair to make them wait for the news.

Instead he felt his body shake with a wracking sob, then another and he turned his face into the pillow, half hoping that no one would hear him.

The other half desperately hoped someone - anyone would. He didn't want Wakko or Dot to see him like this, but he wanted to wrap his arms around them so badly right now it was almost an ache.

Feeling the pillow slowly soak up the tears and muffling his sobs, he decided for now to just let it flow. It'd be over in awhile; he could face them then.

Just not right now.

XXXXXXXXXX

" - and she had…she's just gone," Yakko sniffed. In a more steady tone he added, "And she's not coming back."

Dot fidgeted on Yakko's left leg. She looked over at Wakko, who was awkwardly perched on Yakko's right. He didn't look very comfortable.

Wakko rarely sat on Yakko's lap anymore but he had been pulled there almost as soon as Yakko had sat on the couch. Sensing that their brother was going through something traumatic Wakko hadn't protested and allowed himself to be cuddled.

"What Yakko is saying is, Penelope died." Looking at her for a moment before turning to Wakko Bugs asked, "Do you understand what that means?"

Dot nodded; of course she knew.

Sorta.

She knew when someone 'died' that meant they weren't going to come back anymore. They were 'gone'. Like her mother; she was dead.

And she saw it on television, like the firefighter carrying the body of that little girl after the building in Oklahoma blew up. She was dead; no matter how much someone cried or tried to pretend it wasn't so, they couldn't ever come back. It couldn't be reversed. She understood what it meant; she had just never really experienced it before; it was always one of those things that happened 'to someone else'. Not her.

Dot settled back into Yakko's chest, thinking. She had never really thought about 'being dead' before, or someone she knew 'dying'.She could barely count her mother; she didn't know her. It was hard to feel as bad for someone she didn't know.

But Goose…she knew her. And death was forever, it wasn't like being grounded and that was over at some point, or like when Wakko really screwed up and would moan 'I'm dead' before Yakko marched him off to give him a lecture.

Goose wouldn't be coming back. They wouldn't ever get to see her again.

She blinked, worried. Death was scary. And if it could happen to Goose, someone a lot of people liked and admired, that meant it could happen to other people she knew too.

Like her brothers. Or her. Or Bugs or Porky or even Molly.

Worried, she glanced over at Wakko, who was looking at Bugs with a curious expression on his face.

Wakko was sick - he had diabetes - he could die. The way he tried to cheat sometimes or not take his shots…well, it might not kill him, but it could. When he did stupid stuff, she knew he could hurt himself, she knew he could 'die', but she never really understood what that could really mean.

Not like now.

Glancing up at Yakko she grew more worried about him. He had a lost expression on his face and a vacant look in his eyes like they were made of glass and he wasn't really seeing anything. His ears were drooping where they normally stood upright and his nose was swollen and raw looking. She was almost as worried about him now as she was when he was in the coma. She knew he could have 'died' then too.

He glanced down and noticed her enough that he gave her a small smile before looking up as Bugs spoke, telling them that if they had questions they should ask. They shouldn't be scared.

And Yakko wasn't crying; she wondered about that. He really liked Goose, and he knew her a long time; didn't he care? She would have thought that he would cry if something happened to one of his friends. Maybe he already cried and he didn't need to cry more - that's why he looked so bad. She tried to think; she didn't remember him ever crying, no matter what happened.

Yakko was just really really brave.

"How?"

Dot looked up at Wakko's question and frowned at him. Wakko wasn't crying either. She knew he didn't always like going to Goose's house but she knew he liked her. He said one time it was the lady that always gave him cookies; for that alone he liked her. But she was nice and he didn't really mind helping out at her house. She would have thought he would be more upset too.

Maybe he was just waiting until later. Yakko had said boys didn't like to cry, especially where people could see them even if it was an OK reason for them to cry.

"Penelope had what's known as a cerebral aneurysm," Bugs said. "Do you know what that is?"

"No," Wakko said, shaking his head.

"She had a brain stroke," Yakko muttered.

"Basically, yes," Bugs said, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair.

"Oh," Wakko said, seeming to accept the simple answer. He chewed on his lip for a moment before asking, "Did it hurt?"

Dot glared at Wakko - what kind of question was that? She felt Yakko stiffen slightly and tighten his hold on her as Wakko leaned forward, intent on what Bugs was saying.

"No…no it didn't hurt," Bugs said slowly. "Penelope was sitting on the porch - admiring the flowers you helped plant for her - and basically her brain just shut down. It was very quick, very painless." In a matter of fact tone he added, "It's very likely the last thing she ever saw was the flowers."

"Oh. OK," Wakko muttered.

"That alone you should be very proud of doc. Spending a few days here and there doing that for her…You guys made her last few years very happy, knowing that you guys cared enough about her to come by and visit and - "

Bugs broke off at a low shuddering breath from Yakko and Dot looked up at him, alarmed. Yakko looked very close to crying - no, he was crying, she could see a few tears silently sliding down the fur of his cheeks.

Seeing that Dot felt her lower lip start trembling. She was upset Goose was dead; it really hadn't hit her yet; she didn't totally understand much beyond 'not coming back'.

But she definitely understood grief, or the display of grief coming from her oldest brother. Yakko looked devastated – he had displayed a lot of emotions; happiness, frustration, anger, joy, panic, even sadness, but not the complete, all encompassing anguish that he was currently displaying.

He looked down at her and Wakko briefly before raising his hands, wiping at his face, and Dot felt her own tears overflow.

She had seen Wakko cry for a variety of reasons, even if he tried to hide it.

Yakko…he never cried. Seeing him cry was painful and frightening and she wasn't able to help the small high-pitched wail that came from her own throat.

She felt Yakko's arms fold back around her as he buried his face in her head, soaking her ears and she buried her face in his chest while Wakko cuddled closer to her and continued to ask questions of Bugs.

She didn't understand why he was so curious - who cared what happened now? He could see Yakko was upset. And she didn't understand why Bugs was sitting there just calmly answering his questions like they were talking about an upcoming Toon Theory test. Yakko was upset, he should be concentrating on that.

She clutched Yakko's shirt as she continued to cry softly.

Death. Now she was worried about Yakko; she had heard on a TV show once about someone who grieved themselves to death. Yakko wasn't going to do that, not while she was around, even if she had to hug onto him constantly for the rest of her life.

And she had to keep an eye on Wakko too. He was liable to just retreat into his own little world and forget to eat, or eat a ton of stuff he wasn't supposed to, or not take his shot because he was busy goofing off. And Yakko was too upset right now to keep watch on Wakko, so she'd do it.

It was so hard, being the youngest.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Stupid rules…_

_Inappropriate. Weird. Aren't welcome…_

Perched on the wide cement wall surrounding part of Bugs' inground pool, Wakko picked up another piece of his bread from dinner. Tearing off a small portion, he tossed it on the ground, watching as the sparrows attacked it. Smiling briefly, he pulled off another piece and threw it down, trying to make the roll last as long as possible.

If he was out there feeding the birds, he wasn't inside being told how 'inappropriate' he was. But another toss or two and the roll would be gone; then what would he do? He didn't want to go back inside the house, not with Yakko and Dot acting like they were. He didn't want to stay outside on the deck either; it was almost dark. Even with the pool lights on, Bugs probably wouldn't let him swim and he'd just sit there bored.

He'd probably be told he was being 'insensitive' for doing something fun instead of crying anyway.

He sighed, throwing the rest of the bread on the ground and watching the birds attack it with gusto. At least they were having a good night. He wished he could join them, just fly out of there for awhile.

Sniffing, he wiped at his eyes with his palms, angry at himself. Why did he keep asking the questions? He knew Yakko was upset - Dot too - but he had kept asking. He should have just sat there and acted like he was sad and eaten his sandwich.

But he couldn't help it; he was curious. About everything.

Goose had died. Yakko had told them that, sorta. With some help from Bugs. Actually, Bugs had told him most of what he wanted to know. Wakko wasn't sure if Yakko was unwilling or unable to tell him. Yakko and Bugs had talked for a long time in Bugs' study while he and Dot had fidgeted on the couch and wished they would just tell them what was going on.

When he had finally been told…yeah, he was sad. He liked Goose, she was a pretty nice old lady. He was sorry she was dead; he actually felt really bad. He had done a lot of work in her yard and on her house and on her car too, but he had fussed about going over there a lot. He felt guilty about that; he wished he hadn't groused about it as much as he had.

No wonder Dot thought he was a heartless thoughtless jerk.

That had hurt. He wasn't heartless or thoughtless.

He had been shocked that Goose was dead. She just seemed like one of those people that would always be there. He wished he had hugged her more when he saw her. She always gave him a big, one armed hug when she saw him and he returned it, just not usually with the same sense of enthusiasm that Yakko and Dot did.

But Dot was a girl; she always hugged. Yakko was more choosy with his hugs, but when he gave them he gave with everything he got.

And Yakko was dedicated to her, and he was heartbroken about it. Wakko had been able to tell that last night, even though Bugs said he was just 'in shock'.

Today he was displaying more emotion. Wakko had been more relieved with the emotion, even if the emotion was all anguish and sorrow and regret. At least he knew what to do with that. If someone was sad, you tried to make them happy. If someone was just staring off into nothing and not talking what could you do really?

And Bugs had said they should ask questions, so he had. He wasn't trying to be insensitive, he was just curious. He hadn't even known anyone that 'died' before, not like this.

Mummy was dead, but she didn't count. He didn't remember much about her. But Goose; he knew her pretty good. And Bugs had said they would be invited to the service so he asked about it. But Wakko had called it a funeral, like the humans.

Bugs had told him that toons didn't have 'funerals'. Funerals were for the humans; they liked to bury their dead in the ground.

Wakko knew that; there were tons of cemeteries around.

But toons didn't bury their dead; Bugs had told him ToonTown had plenty of room, but it was for living toons. He said if they started burying the dead, there wouldn't be any room for the living. Sometimes the bodies were donated to science to be studied or tested on or for the parts to help someone else sometimes, but in the end, the body was cremated.

It had been such a long confusing day; he actually couldn't wait to go to bed. He'd go inside once he was sure at least Dot was in bed. All day if she wasn't with Yakko she had been following him around demanding he check his blink or eat, or not eat something or ask if he had done his shot. He had finally gone and hid in Bugs' garage for awhile just to get away from her.

The garage was dark, smelly, dusty and dirty. No way she'd go out there. But he would, and he had gone out there and just thought of more questions.

And at dinner, he had asked those questions, this time of Yakko. What were they supposed to wear? Just black? He hadn't packed their suits because no one told him they would need them. Would they see her? The body? What happened to her? Would they have to touch the body? Who else would be there? Where was it going to be at?

Yakko hadn't answered any of his questions. At first he just seemed to ignore him, like he couldn't hear him; he just sat in his chair and ate his sandwich. Then he had yelled at him, right over the plate of sandwiches.

And then Dot yelled at him.

They said he was selfish and cruel and mean. Dot said he should be crying and sad - Yakko was, she was - what was wrong with him? Why was he so weird all the time?

Then Yakko told him he was behaving inappropriately and there were rules for this sort of thing and he was being really inconsiderate of his and Dot's feelings. He said if Wakko was going to act like it wasn't that big a deal he wasn't going to be welcome at the service and he could just stay there by himself.

That had shut up his questioning, but it had also upset and confused him. Yakko had never yelled at him for asking a question; frequently he yelled at him for not asking a question. Actually he usually yelled because Wakko would ask a question, like could he do something. When Yakko said no and he did it anyway, that's usually when the yelling would occur.

But this time…Wakko just didn't have any explanation for it. He supposed it was just something he said. But Dot had been talking to him and Yakko hadn't yelled at her. It was just him apparently, but he was weird.

The whole thing had upset him enough he had grabbed his sandwich and run from the kitchen. If he was that traumatizing for them he certainty didn't want to stay at the table. And he had almost knocked over Bugs when he was coming in the kitchen and the rabbit had stared after him in surprise, like even he couldn't believe he was so weird.

Wakko sighed. How was he supposed to act?

Yes he would miss her. Yes he was sad. He didn't want her to die…

Was he supposed to act sad even when he didn't feel like it? He hadn't wanted to upset Yakko, but his brother had told him any other time he had questions he should ask.

Was this time different? Why? When was it all right to not act sad? Was there a time limit, like next week would be OK? Should he try to make himself cry, even though he didn't feel like it just so he wouldn't stick out and look so weird? Were all these rules written down in some book he hadn't read and should have?

Curling his arms around his drawn up knees, he rested his forehead on them, wishing his questions would go away. Maybe they were right. He was the weird middle kid; everyone else was upset and crying and depressed. He wasn't. Maybe he should try to remember something really sad that would make him cry, then he wouldn't -

"Wak?"

Wakko raised his head up a few inches, wondering what he wanted.

Everyone else had told him he was a weirdo; he supposed the owner of the house wanted to as well.

Bugs stepped onto the landing and silently walked toward him. Wakko watched him; hopefully if he just sat there and stayed quiet for once than Bugs could just confirm he was a weirdo and go away. He didn't look angry though, so he could hope that at least he wasn't going to yell at him.

Wakko rested his chin on his arms, cutting his eyes toward the pool as Bugs sat on the wall beside him. He didn't say anything and after a moment Wakko looked at him, wishing he'd just get it over with. Sometimes, waiting for the lecture was worse than the actual lecture itself.

"How ya feeling?"

Wakko shrugged and went back to looking at the pool.

"They didn't mean what they said. Everyone's just hurt and confused and scared."

Sighing, Wakko said, "I know."

They never did. He remembered Yakko saying that sometimes, when people were really mad or upset they said things they didn't mean. He did it too but Dot had told him he was weird even when she wasn't upset. Even Yakko did on occasion; he said Wakko had 'middle kid syndrome'.

No, neither of them probably meant most of what they said.

But they did. And it still hurt.

"And I told them that while they were right, the way they were acting, crying and all, you were right too."

_Huh? I'm right._

_That's a first._

"What - don't think I'm the weirdo?" Wakko muttered, cutting his eyes back toward the pool. "I'm not crying - "

"And that's OK doc." Reaching out and rubbing the top of Wakko's head he said, "You don't have to cry if you don't want to. You don't even have to be upset if you don't feel like it. No one's gonna think you're bad because you're not walking around with a frown on right now."

"They do," he muttered, moving slightly so he was out of Bugs' reach but relieved the rabbit didn't seem to want to yell or lecture him. "It's just easier to pretend I - "

"It might be easier, but it's not right. Yakko and Dot aren't hiding their feelings and that's good; can't bottle that stuff up. But whatever you're feeling is just as valid as their feelings or mine. But don't think you're weird if you don't feel - "

"What's wrong with me?" Wakko muttered, more to himself than expecting any answer from Bugs. Glaring at the pool he said quietly, "I feel bad, really. But I don't want to cry - or I do, but I can't. And seeing Yakko cry makes me want to cry. Then something happens and I get distracted, then I feel bad because I wasn't feeling bad for a few minutes - "

"You don't need to feel bad all the time doc."

Bugs scooted closer to him on the wall and this time Wakko didn't move over. Bugs looked like he wanted to talk and Wakko was content to let him, just as long as he didn't want to rub on his head again. It made him feel like a dog.

Bugs looked down at him and Wakko finally looked up, realizing that Bugs wasn't going to continue to talk until he stopped glaring at the pool.

"I was sad when I found out; I cried for half the drive to the tower. But I stopped feeling so bad for awhile when I had to help you guys out. But later last night I was upset again; I still am. It's just gonna come and go in spurts. But what I'm feeling isn't as important to me as is what you're feeling."

"Confused," Wakko sighed before looking out over the pool again.

It was honest and if Bugs was being open with him and actually talking about his own feelings, he could do the same. Bugs probably wouldn't have followed him out there if he wasn't curious.

"That's understandable," Bugs nodded with a grave look. "It's OK to be confused - I am."

"Really?"

Wakko raised his head and looked at him. He was an adult; Wakko didn't think he'd be confused about much.

"Oh yeah, sure I'm confused about things; that's the nature of life," Bugs chuckled. "No one knows everything all the time, though Daf would love to try to prove otherwise."

Wakko snickered for a moment, happy to have something to laugh at and Bugs didn't seem inclined to judge him any for displaying the emotion.

"But just remember, your feelings are valid, but theirs are too. Just because you might feel like…oh, I don't know, playing a video game, doesn't mean they want to. And I'm not criticizing you Wak," Bugs said, holding his hands up when Wakko frowned. "Just remember that people show grief and mourning different ways. You like playing music right?"

Wakko nodded. Bugs knew that.

"And that might be your way of showing your feelings. Dot might draw something, Yakko might talk or write something. Or, they might not want to talk and they just might want to sit on the couch with each other. Each way is OK, or a totally different way is OK. But think about how they feel too; if they want to just sit and not talk and you feel like playing ball, that's all right, but respect how they feel."

Wakko nodded again. He knew he shouldn't have pestered his brother with all his questions, but Yakko was his first logical choice to go to.

Maybe for a few days he could just go to Yakko for hugs, or just not bother him at all. He'd definitely hold off on his questions.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Bugs shrugged. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. And I heard what Yakko said; all three of you are invited to the service. If you want to go, you're welcome. But, if you don't want to go, that's fine too. This time, for this occasion, it's your choice. No matter what, you have the right to decide how you want to grieve and no one can take that choice from you. That includes going to the service. As long as you're respectful of how others feel, there's no reason for you to not go or feel like you're not welcome."

Wakko shrugged. He supposed he wanted to go; he didn't really understand all of what was going to happen, but he knew it would be a final time to say goodbye. And he wanted to be there for Yakko; he'd just try to remember to be a little more sensitive when he said something.

"I guess. I just had questions about it," Wakko muttered finally at Bugs' look.

Pulling out a carrot and beginning to gnaw on it Bugs nodded and replied, "And like I said before, I don't have all the answers. I don't even pretend to have half the answers. But if you want to talk, I'm here if you don't feel like anyone else is listening. Even if you don't want to talk and you just want someone to be with, you can come to me, OK?"

Wakko nodded, satisfied.

Bugs might not have all the answers, but sometimes, the answer didn't even matter. Just Bugs responding to him like he actually respected him enough to bother talking was enough.

XXXXXXXXXX

_SUFFERING THE LOSS OF A 'MOTHER'_

_By Katie Danaher_

_Everyone has someone from their childhood they credit with helping them on their way, whether it was a parent, a close relative or family friend, even a tutor that helped shape them into the person they became._

_For many toons that person was Penelope Goose._

_Widely recognized for her charity works, many of today's youngsters, - and indeed, many adults – fail to be taught about some of the lesser known yet no less important stars of ToonTown. _

_No one needs to have their name in lights to be a hero. And Ms. Goose rarely receives her due when it comes to creating our town. _

_Ms. Goose, like many of ToonTown's founders, was secretly introduced as 'the next step up on the evolutionary ladder' at the 1923 American Historical Review and Motion Picture Exposition held in Los Angeles . A creation several years in the making, Ms. Goose was a labor of love between Winsor McKay and Albert Einstein, given life through trial and error at the 'Black Maria Studios' in West Orange, New Jersey. _

_Like many of our founders, her introduction to the human's scientific community caused scandal, turmoil and speculation about the human's ability to 'play God'. But unlike Kokko, Bosko or some of the other toons given life at the time, Ms. Goose looked too 'human' for the humans. Possessed with everything from a functioning womb to toe nails that would grow, when it was discovered that she also had a working Hammerspace the humans grew alarmed, perhaps sensing that indeed, their world was about to be slightly more crowded._

_But, while the other toons were welcomed somewhat hesitantly, Ms. Goose was ostracized. The humans refused at that time to accept someone that looked that much like them that was not born of a human woman. _

_Kokko and Bosko and others began to rocket to fame, first on the vaudeville circuit, then onto the screen, paving the way for countless stars of the time including Felix the Cat and Mickey Mouse. Ms. Goose, ignored by the humans, attempted to gain their respect. Finally frustrated by her inability to do so, she began to work on other skills, one of which was a keen mind. _

_Mr. McKay and Mr. Einstein were fascinated by their creations and the fact that 'Penny' did not seem inclined to run amuck like the others. They taught her to read and write, making Ms. Goose the first of our kind to gain these basic skills. She learned the fundamentals of Math; she traveled the globe incognito, learning all she could._

_While others were out having fun, learning the humans' habits of gambling, drinking, and smoking, Ms. Goose was laying the groundwork for what would come to be known as 'Toon Theory'. After meeting other toons that were slowly coming into existence around the globe, she discovered that not all toons were as 'talented' as she was. Not all toons could Fritz an object, nor could all toons defend themselves by Chucking._

_Some of our most basic of laws – no mallet wielding in public for instance – were drafted in ToonTown's beginnings by Ms. Goose herself for the protection of the less talented. Ms. Goose displayed a conscience before our species could even understand what that word meant._

_The humans, meanwhile, began to experiment and study. While they refrained from creating many toons that looked like themselves, they had no problems with experimenting with an animal. Rabbits, ducks, tigers…anything but humans were studied then drawn and slowly our species was created, our numbers enlarged._

_Meanwhile, Ms. Goose was still working behind the scenes. As she continued to research and learn she found that unlike herself, none of the toons could read or had even the most basic of education._

_And thus, Ms. Goose found her calling. _

_Slowly but surely, some of the more clever toons began to find their way to her, requesting her help. While silly dancing and the basic ability to move were entertaining to the humans who would pay money to see them, by the mid twenties they were growing tired of the act. _

_Hollywood was interested though. But to make it very far in Hollywood you needed to be able to read a script. Thus Goose found herself with her very first pupil; Popeye, another human toon who was determined to make it in Tinsel Town even if it killed him. Many years later, after the humans relaxed and accepted the idea of toons looking like them, Popeye rocketed to stardom and penned two books; a theory book and another book about his experiences during that exciting yet tumultuous time. _

_Soon Bosko was knocking at her door, then Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Felix the Cat, Bugs Bunny…the list of toons helped on the road to stardom by her is as long and varied as the Hollywood Walk of Fame._

_Ms. Goose continued to tutor as many as she could, in-between meetings with the humans to establish ToonTown. She met her husband Nigel who had apprenticed himself to a clock maker in County Durham England ; they were married in 1949. Four years later Goose gave birth to a daughter._

_In the late seventies Ms. Goose retired from active tutoring. ToonTown had been established, laws created, and there were more than enough educated toons to act as tutors. The town was alive and functioning, nurtured along in its infancy by Ms. Goose. _

_But, Ms. Goose, ever active, could not be kept still long, and she began to volunteer with the Society for the Betterment of Contemptible Toons._

_She grew alarmed when she discovered that not everyone was getting an education in Toon Theory, especially since she herself had helped create some of the most basic tutoring techniques. Every child who was ever taught using the golf ball method can thank Ms. Goose for this technique. The popular form of teaching a child to breach their Hammerspace with that object even gained popularity overseas._

_She realized that her advancing age and various illnesses from a lifetime of poor care would prevent her from returning to full time tutoring. But she could try to help, even if it was only a few children at a time._

_Volunteering to take on the four ghettos of ToonTown, Ms. Goose slowly began to pick the ones she could help while entertaining the children as a 'Mother Goose' type figure. She was arrested several times for helping various children escape the clutches of TIS by sending them to studios, being familiar with the guardian ad slavus, contracts between the studio and orphans or uncared for minors. _

_*For full details of the guardian ad slavus, see article on page 37._

_And all she helped went on to be successes, whether it was in acting or in another career field. Among her pupils we gained two doctors, several police officers, a journalist, many CEO's, several children that have yet to realize their full potential, and too many actors, actresses, film editors, tutors and writers to list._

_Including this writer who is proud to say she did her time as 'Puddles' in the Plympton District from the years 1979 through 1982. During that time I got the moral support and guidance most children normally get through their parents. I got the encouragement I needed to stay off the drugs, get myself out of the area, and find myself a job at a grocery store so I could afford to get a tutor. Through scrimping and saving and hard work, I was finally able to land my job here at 'The Animator'. _

_ToonTown lost one of its best Thursday afternoon and we all should grieve at her passing. While she didn't give life to but one child, she was instrumental in creating the life we all know, making her mother to us all. She may not have figured out all the tricks of the trade when it comes to Toon Theory, she understood the basics and was able to pass on her knowledge to others who were able to build on her knowledge._

_I have been informed by Ms. Goose's daughter Charlotte that the service, which will take place at Bakshi's Crematorium Hall, will be invitation only and for family and close friends. _

_She asks that in lieu of flowers that donations be sent to the Society for the Betterment of Contemptible Toons. _

Yakko read over the article again, stunned. He knew she was old and he knew she was influential in any number of people's lives, but this? She was almost single-handedly responsible for ToonTown having any semblance of laws and rules. Why the hell didn't she get any credit for any of this? Why had she never mentioned it? How come people like her didn't get any credit until they died? She managed to accomplish all that but she ended living in a dinky little house in one of the worst districts in ToonTown.

Yakko glared at the article before taking a sip of his coffee. Bugs' coffee actually; the rabbit was addicted to it but didn't think children needed to drink it. He said all of them already had enough going on in their hormonal little bodies without pumping additional stimulants into them.

Yakko had snorted; that's what he thought. He was hardly a 'child' anymore and he was developing a taste for it as well.

Black, four spoonfuls of sugar.

Luckily the rabbit hadn't emerged from his room yet and Yakko was attempting to guzzle all the Sanka in the house. He had his ears raised; if Bugs did decided to make an early appearance he could try to hide the evidence. Until Bugs had his own cup of coffee he was usually pretty groggy; hopefully he wouldn't notice the aroma wafting around the kitchen.

Getting up to get another cup, Yakko glanced at the clock on the microwave; seven in the morning. Sighing, he sat back down. It was still too early to expect anyone else to be up and unlike the last two days, he was actually in the mood to talk.

He hoped they all got up soon; they were supposed to go shopping for appropriate attire for the service tomorrow. His and Wakko's suits were still at the tower and he wasn't even sure if Dot owned a black dress. He just wanted to get it over with; he didn't like clothes shopping under good circumstances. This was going to be a nightmare.

He wished a certain individual would rise early so he could talk to him. Poor kid…

Yakko ran a hand through his hair and took a gulp of his coffee, wincing as he felt it burn the back of his throat. He coughed quietly and put the cup down, hoping the pain would dissipate soon. He couldn't apologize to him if he scalded his tongue.

He shouldn't have yelled at him. He hadn't even meant to but less than twenty-four hours after being told of Goose's…death, he had still been in shock and overwhelmed. He hadn't been expecting Wakko or Dot to be as upset as him, but Wakko's line of questioning had surprised and hurt him.

When he had yelled at him…Yakko sighed to himself. Wakko hadn't deserved that. Like Bugs had gently pointed out to him last night, Wakko was at an age where he would be much more curious about the death rather than upset, at least right away. He wasn't being selfish or mean; he was being a typical eleven year old. Yakko had no right to tell him how to grieve or what he was doing was 'wrong'.

Yakko had mulled that over in his head for awhile, finally coming to the conclusion that Bugs was correct; he probably had hurt Wakko badly for nothing more than being curious and trying to tell him he hadn't packed their suits. And Bugs had been the one to go talk to him when Wakko had run from the table, not Yakko. When he thought about it later it actually embarrassed him; he should have been the one to go and find Wakko, not Bugs. It wasn't his responsibility.

Bugs had also pointed out that at his age, Wakko would be more likely to grieve in spurts than to actually sit and cry. He'd be curious for awhile, then cry, then play a video game, then be upset again, all within an hour. Ten minutes after that he'd likely be outside playing ball. He wasn't being mean, it was a coping mechanism.

Yakko didn't think that sounded like a bad idea; right now he wished he was eleven too. Feeling like hell in spurts seemed preferable to being miserable all the time.

It was hard, being the oldest. Thank God Bugs was there to actually explain some of this to him because he was totally lost.

Wakko had finally come in with Bugs, settling down on the couch to watch television with him and not meeting Yakko's eyes. Frustrated, mostly at himself and his inability to actually find the correct words to say for once, Yakko had gone to spend some time with Dot and relax. By the time he looked up again it was late.

When he had gone to find Wakko he was already asleep, still fully dressed and lying face down on his bed. Wakko hadn't woken up when he picked him up and put him under the covers and Yakko resolved to talk to him first thing in the morning, at least to apologize for his own behavior.

Yakko sat back in his chair, annoyed. Wakko had gone to bed upset or angry at him before; Dot too. But he always talked to them before they went to bed, no matter how angry any of them might be. If they were home Yakko always put them to bed; at the very least said good night to them.

Dot still enjoyed a story before she went to sleep. Wakko would probably roll up into a fuzzy little ball and die if Yakko tried to bust out a storybook on him. Wakko preferred to talk before he went to sleep. Yakko shook his head; Wakko could find the oddest things to talk about before he settled down.

Last night was one of the first nights he could remember that his brother hadn't even mumbled a 'good night' to him and Yakko didn't like it. He realized he was being too hard on himself; as upset as he was, Wakko was likely not scarred for life. Yakko would be the first to admit that he had a very bad few days and snapping out at someone was hardly unexpected.

He still felt guilty. He was the oldest; as difficult and frustrating as the job could be at times he had accepted the role of caretaker for the two of them. He had a responsibility to attempt not to lash out at them for asking a question, or at least to apologize for his error when he did. Also going along with the job title was having some idea what was going on in their little heads.

Wakko's questions hadn't been as upsetting as they were alarming, only because Yakko hadn't been prepared for any of them. He honestly had been shocked when Wakko began asking him things; he should have been better prepared.

He was being ridiculous; throwing another pity party as Goose would say…used to say. He smirked at the memory, relieved that he was able to think of her and at least give a wan smile instead of instantly bursting into tears. It had been one of her favorite sayings to use with him, along with telling him how stubborn he was.

Yakko raised his eyes up at a noise; a door opening upstairs.

Quickly, Yakko gulped the rest of the hot liquid down, almost gasping at the searing pain as it burned the back of his throat. Racing to the sink he began to rinse out the cup with one hand, the other snapping off the coffee maker. If he was careful he should be able to hide all evidence of his early morning pilfering of the java and be back in his seat before Bugs reached the kitchen.

He doubted Bugs would yell or throw him against the wall for sneaking a few cups of coffee, but he might tell him about the dangers of getting addicted to the stuff or how harmful it was to a growing toon. Even worse Bugs might pull out his own version of 'The Look'.

If used by anyone else it would hardly elicit a dry chuckle from Yakko. Used by Bugs on him it was unnerving and it said it all; 'I know what you were doing; you can't fool me and I can't believe you'd even try'. And the rabbit wasn't stupid; he could probably smell the coffee upstairs while it was brewing but if Yakko at least made an attempt to hide the evidence he probably wouldn't say much.

Yakko heard a sound in the kitchen doorway and he turned guiltily, surprised that Bugs had made it down so fast. He would have had to run –

It wasn't Bugs standing in the doorway, it was Wakko. Meeting his gaze Wakko bit his lip and turned around.

Annoyed with himself for almost burning his own tonsils off, Yakko said, "Come here kiddo." Waiting for Wakko to slowly turn back toward him Yakko held his arm out for him and gestured.

Wakko hesitated for a moment before stepping toward him, standing stiffly when Yakko put his arm around him.

"Come on Wak, let's talk for a few minutes."

Unwrapping his arm from around Wakko's shoulders, Yakko pulled a chair out with his tail and waved for Wakko to sit down.

"You hungry?"

At Wakko's nod Yakko turned to the freezer, intent on fixing his brother some frozen waffles while trying to formulate what he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, for making you mad," Wakko said quietly before biting on his lip again. "I didn't mean too. I just - "

"Wak…" Yakko sighed, putting the waffles in the toaster. "That was my fault and I'm sorry for yelling at you; you didn't deserve that. I just…was sort of in shock, upset, angry, sad…I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"It's OK. I shouldn't have asked all those questions and pissed you off."

Yakko glanced over at Wakko and mentally nodded to himself. He definitely made the right decision as far as keeping Dad out of Wakko's life right now. This kid would forgive someone for intending to run over his foot if they simply yelled 'sorry' out the window while they drove off.

Choosing to ignore the language for now Yakko placed the waffles in front of him.

"You had every right to ask the questions; I didn't have the right to tell you not to or to say you were wrong." Sitting down across from him he caught Wakko's eye and added, "Look, what I said last night…Don't ever be afraid to ask me something or tell me anything. I can't promise I'll have the answer or even know what you're talking about, but I promise I'll listen."

"OK."

Yakko watched him and sighed. Wakko was so intent on cramming Eggo in his mouth he almost seemed to have forgotten Yakko was across from him.

So much for finding out what else was going on in that unique little brain of his. Maybe once he was done –

"Are you still upset?"

Stunned at the question, Yakko said slowly, "Ehhhh, yeah, I don't think I'm gonna not be upset for awhile."

"Oh."

After watching Wakko chew some, Yakko decided to press him, hoping he'd talk.

"And just because I'm upset doesn't mean you need to be."

"Ok."

"Ehhhh…any reason you're asking sib?" Yakko asked after a few seconds.

Wakko had a look on like he usually did when he wanted to talk and had no idea how to start. Sometimes Yakko could wait him out; Wakko would normally talk eventually. This time though Yakko wanted to hear what he was thinking since his brother had surprised him once already. He didn't need Wakko shooting out a few more questions when he wasn't prepared for it.

"I was just asking."

"Why?"

"Cuz, you know."

Wondering where he was going, Yakko waited for a moment before realizing that Wakko had returned to his waffles and wasn't going to say anything else.

"No, I don't know. Why?"

"No reason."

"There's obviously a reason," Yakko drawled. "Or you wouldn't have asked."

"Just wondering."

"How about wondering more out loud so I can be let in on what you're thinking?" Yakko said, beginning to tap the table with his finger in annoyance and wondering why Wakko was making this harder than it needed to be. "I told you, I'll answer anything I can, but I can't read your mind Wak. You need to actually talk."

Wakko blinked at him for a moment and Yakko grew worried when he saw his eyes wet.

"What happened to her?" He asked quietly.

Puzzled at the question, Yakko said, "She had a cerebral aneurysm. She - "

"Not that," Wakko said, shaking his head and scrubbing at his eyes with a balled up fist. "I mean…her. You know…the actual her."

Yakko leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes briefly while rubbing the bridge of his nose. He had been dreading this question. Bugs had told him last night that he had talked to Wakko and had answered some of his questions. As much as Yakko liked helping both his siblings, he had really hoped that Bugs had managed to answer these questions and he would be off the hook, at least for awhile.

Like a large portion of the toon community, Yakko didn't prescribe to any one particular religion. A handful of toons were what the humans called 'Christians'. Others practiced various religions. Most though could be safely called 'agnostic'.

Yakko remembered having to write a paper on the subject early last year for Bugs. Humans, or a large portion of them anyway, believed that a divine being simply known as 'God' created life – plant, animal, and human. Thus, they worship him as their all knowing, perfect being. They couldn't see him, he wasn't a tangible thing they could touch. They simply went on faith; it comforted some, bored others, but that was simply the human way.

Toons, however, had to take a different approach. They were given life by humans; the first toons originally had human blood mixed with ink, which became the life giving mixture of blink that now ran in all toons veins. Thus, if toons were to follow the creation theory, humans would be their 'God'.

Unlike the humans though, toons could see and touch their 'God', and they were far from all-knowing and perfect. Humans were the most flawed species on the planet.

Originally some humans, overly religious ones, objected to the idea of toons choosing to worship anything, particularly their 'God'. Jesus died for the sins of 'Man', not 'Toon'. Many of these humans were the same ones that said it was simply impossible; it would be like thinking an animal had a soul. It went against everything they currently believed and they refused to even consider something more.

Other humans said they didn't see a problem; some of them believed an animal had a soul. Some of them even believed in the theory of 'reincarnation'; their pet dog now could be their son in the next life, or their neighbor, or their father. It was a twisted mass of beliefs.

Most humans eventually said they simply didn't see any problem with another species worshiping the same as them. After all, many of the beliefs of their book - and the ten commandments - were simply good rules for life. Don't kill, don't cheat, don't steal…what could be the harm in a new species following these rules?

Yakko simply couldn't say either way. Like most toons, he would like to believe they had what could be called 'souls'. He could look into his siblings' eyes, see feelings, intelligence, self-awareness, warmth, life…How the hell could anyone – human or toon – say that they didn't have a soul? A soul wasn't something that could be seen, no test could be run to prove or disprove the idea.

If he looked into a dog's eyes he could see the same thing. He personally believed that everything living – as far as humans and animals anyway – had souls. They may not be 'good' souls, but they were there.

As a general rule, toons picked and chose what they believed by pulling from many different faiths. It was a common theory that if you tried to live well and do the right thing, then you were a good person or 'soul' and you would reap your just rewards at some point. Evil, sick bastards like murders or child molesters and rapists would also reap what they sowed eventually.

Toons as a whole didn't disbelieve per say, they just questioned things more. But most believed that in the end, you would get what was coming to you.

Yakko opened his eyes and saw Wakko staring at him while biting his lip. Looking at his plate, Yakko noticed that his brother had finished off his waffles while he was mentally going through his own limited knowledge of 'toon theology'.

"It's OK if you don't wanna answer - "

"It's not that I don't wanna Wak, I don't know how."

Sighing, Yakko held out his arm again and Wakko hopped from the chair to go to him, more willingly than before. Squeezing Wakko to him for a moment, Yakko collected his thoughts before pulling him on his lap.

"I honestly don't know what happened to her, the way you're asking about," he said, hoping he sounded like he knew what he was talking about. "I don't think anyone can really say with a hundred percent certainty."

"Oh. OK."

"Goose was a good lady right? You liked her?" At Wakko's nod Yakko asked, "What do you think happened to her?"

"I don't know, that's why I asked you."

"Fair enough," Yakko muttered. "OK, what I'd like to think happened to her is she moved on to something better, like an afterlife or - "

"Heaven?"

"I don't know," Yakko sighed, wondering why he was getting this dumped on him so early in the morning and cursing himself for not realizing it was Wakko coming in the kitchen. He could really use another cup of coffee. "I don't know if I buy the usual scenario we see on TV, with people sitting on clouds spying on us while strumming on a harp."

"Goose was fat; she'd fall through the cloud and drop her harp on someone - "

"Wakko!" Yakko started to scold him for that and stopped; he wasn't incorrect. "OK, fine, I'll let that go. She was big, though I would hope that if Heaven were really like that, they would have special clouds for the plus-sized angels. And she didn't play harp that I know of. So maybe that wouldn't be her 'something better'. For someone like Goose, maybe her 'something better' is different."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Yakko shrugged, half wishing that Wakko would go off on another one of those 'spurts' Bugs was talking about and get distracted. The other half of him was actually delighting in the fact that no matter what, Wakko still trusted him and looked up to him enough to come to him with questions.

Hopefully that practice would follow through his entire teenaged years and he wouldn't end up with a wild man on his hands.

"I think, for someone like Goose, maybe her 'something better' would be lots of kids, and a large library and unlimited resources for teaching. She could research and learn and teach all day." Yakko sighed quietly and rested his chin on Wakko's head. "I bet she'd like that a lot. That's what I like to think."

"That's nice," Wakko said, leaning back into his chest. Looking up at him he asked, "What about bad people? Ya think there's a hell?"

Yakko snorted and said, "I don't buy the idea of a red man running around underground jamming people in the ass with a pitchfork either. If it exists I hope the people that came up with the ideas for Barney and Boloney go there."

Yakko cut off for a second; he usually didn't say that. He had rarely wished anything bad on anyone and that wasn't exactly what he should be saying to one of his siblings. But luckily, the fact that he just said 'ass' had sent Wakko into a giggling fit and he relaxed slightly.

"And I shouldn't have said that; you're not supposed to hope bad things happen to people." Hugging Wakko closer to him he said, "And I don't think Goose would be anywhere near that place. Really sib, I guess I just believe that in the end we'll all move on to 'something better', and I hope it's a really long time from now. As sad as it makes me, Goose was old and sick and didn't take care of herself like she shoulda. But she spent so much of her time making sure that others were being taken care of I think she's gone somewhere nice. Does that help?"

Wakko nodded before pointing toward the newspaper.

"That's about her isn't it? You're gonna put it in the scrapbook."

"I planned on it, yeah. She's almost like family, she deserves it." Yakko watched Wakko lean forward slightly and got an idea. "You wanna read it with me? Goose was a lot more important than most people realize, and she did lots of stuff you're probably never gonna hear about in your classes."

"Really? Like what?"

"Let's read it."

Yakko leaned forward to grab the page before settling back in the chair, Wakko still balanced on his right leg.

It was a damn shame that Goose died pretty much alone and forgotten, especially after all she had done for them and ToonTown as a whole. One of these days he'd like to change that, see that she at least got a mention in some of the history classes toon kids took. The War of 1812 and the Summer of Love were all important in the history of the world they lived in but Goose was a part of all their histories.

Yakko wasn't sure if he would ever be able to do anything. Sometimes though all it took for something to happen was for a single person to take one step, and his first step could be letting his siblings in on the incredible person that had helped to shape their lives by first shaping their older brother's life.

Maybe someday he could do more. For today it was enough.

XXXXXXXXXX

March 31, 1996

"Did ya know her well?"

Wakko looked at Max Goof as the boy shrugged at the question.

"Met her a few times when I was real little; don't really remember. Dad said he should have brought me over when I was older but…" he shrugged again before saying, "Guess it's too late now."

"Yeah."

Wakko leaned back on the overstuffed pink loveseat, bored. After a few moments of sitting in silence beside Max he decided to look around the parlor again.

He thought it was ugly; everything was covered in flowers, the walls had pictures of cherubs and doves all over them, and every single table had gigantic boxes of Kleenex on it. The carpet was beige, the walls were cream…it was just plain.

Wakko swung his feet as he gazed around the crowded room. For an invitation only funeral there were a lot of people there. He had really expected a smaller crowd, but after what he had read in the article with Yakko, he shouldn't have been that surprised. Goose was pretty important.

"Hey man, wanna see a trick? I just learned it."

Disinterested, Wakko turned to look at the other boy, wondering what he was talking about. He knew the guy didn't know any magic tricks; Wakko had pulled out a deck of cards awhile ago, asking if he wanted to play something.

Apparently card games weren't as popular around the Disney lot as they were the Warner Brothers Studio though. The guy had looked at them like he'd never seen a deck of cards before.

And Wakko had never even gotten to do one shuffle; before he could start Bugs had popped up behind him and confiscated them, saying this wasn't the time or place for tricks. He and Max had been instructed to try to be polite and quiet, like Dot and Skippy and Molly.

After that they had returned to sitting on the couch and staring at the wall.

"What trick you know?" Wakko asked. He supposed it was preferable to staring at the wall.

"Watch."

With that order Max hopped off the couch and reached into his Hammerspace. After a second he pulled out a round yellow thing.

"What the hell is that thing?" Wakko muttered.

The other boy scowled at him before pulling a string out and Wakko stared at him in astonishment.

Was that a…yo-yo? Really? People still played with those things? Wakko thought that went out ages ago, like when people still thought chasing a hoop with a stick was a damn good time.

"Are you shitting me?" Wakko hissed.

"Oh yeah, and I know your stupid card trick was gonna be impressive," Max said, shooting him a glare before beginning to make it go up and down.

Wakko narrowed his eyes at the other boy for a moment. He didn't really care that much for Max, but with him really being the only other boy there his age he was stuck for companionship. And much like him, Max was growing bored too. As such, they were hanging out through necessity.

He slumped back into the couch, waiting to see if he was actually going to do anything beside make it go up and down on the string a few times.

Nope. Boring.

"Yeah, faboo," he muttered, going back to looking around the room.

Daffy had just entered the parlor, dressed in a gray suit and for once not having the usual look of arrogance on his face. Wakko watched as he briefly clasped Bugs' shoulder before turning to shake Yakko's hand. After a few words were exchanged he walked toward the back wall where Sylvester sat, his arm around a weeping Penelope. He paused in his consoling of her to turn and talk to Granny, Donald, and Mr. McDuck.

Yakko said at some point he would be going back in the viewing area, where Goose was. He had said that if Wakko and Dot wanted to go with him they could. If they chose not to he would understand and wouldn't think any less of them.

"Here we go; check this out!"

Wakko turned to watch, hoping the boy was going to do something besides just dangle the toy in front of him. He actually had two now, one in each hand.

Wakko nodded, somewhat more impressed. Max was ambidextrous; that was sort of cool. Yakko was too, though he tended to use his right hand more than his left. He also liked to say that no matter what hand he wrote with, his handwriting was still more legible than Wakko's.

Wakko wouldn't deny that; Yakko could have just taken a mallet shot to the head and then write with his tail and it would still be more legible.

"Can you do anything else?" Wakko asked after a moment.

The trick was sort of neat but really wasn't that entertaining after maybe thirty seconds.

"Yeah, just let me get 'em going."

Wakko nodded; it wasn't like there was anything else for them to do. At some point they were all supposed to have food - Yakko said there would be snacks or something there, but that was in another portion of the home. With half the people there crying though, Wakko didn't know how much anyone was going to be able to eat. He wasn't even hungry; he was just bored and upset because everyone around him was upset.

After a few minutes of watching the other boy concentrating on getting the orbs moving, Wakko began to look around again, hoping someone else besides Max had shown up.

He hadn't; he was stuck with Max. He was really the only other boy his age there so it was either him, listen to the really little girls and boys, or go hang out with the adults and he had enough of that in the first ten minutes here.

People crying, people talking, people sobbing. Other people he didn't know coming up to him and wanting to pinch his cheeks like he was a baby and hug him, telling him how handsome he looked and that they liked the show. Others wanted to ask him questions or wanted him to sit and talk with them like he was the afternoon entertainment.

Some just wanted to hug onto him while they sobbed.

He thought half of them were full of crap. If they missed her so bad they should have gone by and visited her and not waited until she was dead. If he didn't think Yakko would take him out into the parking lot and whip his ass he'd tell them that too. But, he promised Yakko he would behave, and that entailed not being overly rambunctious and not insulting the people at the service even if they deserved it.

"Here we go…"

Wakko watched as Max moved his hand, bringing both yo-yo's almost to the floor, where they sat at the end of their strings and spun.

"Walk the dog! Sweet huh?" Max asked, a look of pride on his face.

_Yeah, if you're a total dork._

"Um…yeah man, that's great."

Wakko pulled at his collar, trying to loosen the tie that was choking him before looking up; Slappy was glaring at them; Goofy too. The squirrel narrowed her eyes before making a slashing motion with her hand and mouthing 'stop that playing' at them.

What the hell did they do now? Yakko and Bugs both said he didn't have to be sad all the time. Right now he was kinda sad, but he was pretty bored too. Even watching Max's stupid yo-yo tricks was better than just sitting.

"Hey man, better put those things away or you're gonna lose 'em," Wakko whispered to Max. "Trust me, I recognize those looks."

"Yeah, me too," Max sighed, pocketing the yo-yo and flopping back on the loveseat next to him. "I brought my GameBoy but Dad confiscated that. Said it wouldn't be appropriate to play it here."

"GameBoy?" Wakko asked. "I wanna get one of those. I plan on hounding Yakko for one - "

Wakko cut off as he noticed a new couple walk into the parlor.

What the hell were they doing there?

"What's wrong?" Looking up Max saw where he was looking. "Oh, Gosalyn's here."

"Yeah, great. Bitch," Wakko muttered, throwing the girl a nasty look which she returned.

"Eh, she's OK," Max shrugged.

"OK?" Wakko hissed. "I hate her, her father too."

At least Darkwing had the tact to not show up in his tacky purple getup. He actually looked quite tame in a dark blue suit. Gosalyn for once actually looked like she was making an attempt to be feminine in a black dress and her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail.

"She's all right," Max said. "And Drake's all right. He spouts off on rules and danger lurking around ever corner too much but he's OK. He took some of us camping - "

"Wow, sounds fun," Wakko drawled sarcastically. "Stuck in the woods with him."

"- and he used to give all of us rides on his motorcycle when we were on the lot - "

"I wouldn't brag about that," Wakko snorted. "I've seen that bike; looks like something a clown would ride."

"Laugh all you want," Max shrugged. "That bike moves and from what I heard, he almost caught you on it - "

"But he didn't," Wakko laughed. "And we were on foot and using a bus. Doesn't say much about his bike or his riding skills."

"Man, Plucky always speaks well about you," Max said. "I can't see why – you're kind of a jerk."

"Fuck you," Wakko muttered, not even bothering to get mad; Yakko was looking in his direction. "And just so you know, Plucky never speaks about you."

"Not surprised," Max said shrugging. "I don't like his other two friends either - "

"His other two friends are my best friends; watch what you say about them."

"Bunch of judgmental jerks," Max said. "Look, I know that your family and Drake are mortal enemies but - "

"Damn right."

"You three were thieves - "

"You trying to get your ass kicked?" Wakko asked, getting annoyed and almost incredulous at the boy's talking. "Do you even know what you're talking about? We were trying to survive and my sister's no thief!"

"Drake's a police officer, and you were thieves." Max held his hand up. "I ain't judging ya man, don't think that. I thought it was kinda badass. But seriously, you ever looked at it from his point of view?

"He's a bounty hunter," Wakko said. "And he stalked us for how long? He comes by and fights with a bunch of kids at the lot? It's kinda creepy."

"I didn't say he was perfect, I just said he's anal about doing his job," Max said reasonably. "A crook is a crook no matter what the situation is to him."

"Since I'm struggling to not pull my mallet, maybe you should just shut up," Wakko warned.

"Try it," Max said in a challenging tone. "I got one too and I'm good."

Wakko shrugged and started to reach for it. The boy did challenge him and it'd be a hell of a lot more entertaining than yo-yo tricks.

"Try it and I'll show – I say – I'll show you two how good I am with my mallet," a loud voice said behind them. "And you boy, you know I'm good. Skilled that is."

_Shit._

Wakko looked up at the voice that came from behind the loveseat and almost sank into the cushions.

Foghorn glared down at both of them, his hands on his hips. Wakko wondered when he got there; usually Foghorn was pretty noticeable when he came in a room.

"You two start fighting and I'll yank ya both outside and give ya a workover," he said, finally breaking out in a grin before raising his hands in fists and throwing a few punches into the empty air. "Show ya some moves."

Wakko relaxed and released a small sigh. He had sincere doubts that Foghorn would have given either of them a 'workover'.

"Hi Foghorn," Wakko said. "I didn't think you'd be here - "

"Course I'd be here," Foghorn said. "Knew Goose pretty well; taught me quite a bit years ago. Plus you and I worked on that piece of scrap metal she called a car all the time." Looking over at Max he said, "You're Goofy's boy?" At his nod he added, "Gotta find your father and say hi; ain't seen him in a long while."

Max pointed and said, "He's over there - "

"I'll find him," Foghorn said, reaching down and ruffling Wakko's hair and earning himself a scowl for it. "Just gotta follow the sound of the 'he-yucks'. You two try not to start a fight up in here. Couple of boys should be able to find something else to do besides fight. Let me rephrase that," he said after looking at Wakko. "Couple of boys should be able to sit and talk for a few minutes; don't even wanna imagine what you two would find to do."

"Like what?" Max asked.

"I don't – I say – I don't know boy," Foghorn said, already turning away. "Be creative! Show each other what ya got in your pockets or something. Hopefully that'll keep you quiet."

With that, Foghorn began walking off, throwing a wave at Bugs and Yakko before heading toward Goofy who grinned at him.

Wakko sighed and slumped further into the cushion. He had about twenty-seven cents, a couple pieces of candy, some rubber bands, and his wallet containing nineteen dollars in his pocket. Nothing too exciting.

"Wanna see what's in my pocket?" Max asked.

"What, more stupid yo-yo's?" Wakko muttered, watching his brother shake hands with a tall human toon while Bugs introduced them. "Or did you bring the Jacks and Silly Putty too?"

Stupid boring toys. Still, being as desperate as he was, they might entertain him for five minutes.

"I got…" Max said while digging in his pocket. "Hey - wanna see my pocket knife?"

"Hell yeah," Wakko said turning back toward him.

A pocket knife wasn't quite as exciting as a mallet fight, but again, better than staring at the wall.

Maybe Max wasn't such a loser after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

Stretching, Yakko leaned his back against the wall. Only there thirty minutes and he already felt exhausted. Beside him Kit looked only slightly better.

Still silent, Yakko cut his eyes to where Bugs and some of the other adults were talking with some attorney hired by Goose years ago. Bugs had introduced him earlier; apparently he was mentioned in Goose's will. He had no earthly idea why. He wasn't family and, while he wasn't trying to be cruel, he honestly didn't think Goose had much to will anyone.

Foghorn said something, earning a few quiet laughs from the group, even Ms. Cunningham wiping at her eyes with a small silk handkerchief. Yakko scowled at them. He knew that a service, while a time to mourn, was also a time to talk about happy times and all that, but did they have to make their 'happy' so obvious? They had grieving children here.

"Do you think they understand?" Kit asked beside him softly while watching the group.

Yakko shook his head.

"No, I don't. And no matter what we tell them, they won't ever understand," he said. "How could they? Sorry, but I don't think Bugs or Ms. Cunningham or Daffy had to try to figure out a way to raise themselves or anyone else on twenty bucks a week."

Kit snorted before muttering, "What'd you do, the first time she paid you?"

"Went to the grocery store," Yakko said. "Never forgot that experience; I finally knew that for the first time in my life we'd have a guarantee of eating for the week. Oh, and I learned that giving Wakko an entire giant can of soda was a very bad idea."

At Kit's puzzled look Yakko gave a small dry chuckle and briefly recounted the bizarre trip home and having to deal with Wakko's sugar rush. Kit snickered through the story, resting his head against the wall for a moment.

"The first time she paid me? I went out and blew it all on ice cream. I mean I almost ate myself into a coma," Kit laughed quietly. "I learned some money management skills after that."

Chuckling, Yakko watched Kit as he sighed and went quiet for a moment, before continuing.

"How'd she get you?"

Yakko raised an eyebrow; as close as he and Kit were they had never spoken much about this subject. It was a painful time and while neither of them ignored their past, they had always had an unspoken agreement to not discuss it. There was simply too many other things - happier things - to discuss now.

Like girls. And music, and getting their licenses, or dealing with some of their crazy fans.

And girls. They talked about girls a lot. Such a fascinating subject.

Shrugging, Yakko decided to tell him. Most of the people he had met here today were former assistants or students of Goose, but Kit was the only one his age. And right now that counted for a lot; Kit was someone he could relate to. Kit's past, what he knew of it, was as troubled and rocky as his own.

He began speaking in a quiet voice, telling Kit how he had mostly chanced into her at the library after Wakko wandered off. Kit started laughing when he told him about how he fought with her or tried to avoid her for a few months because he thought she was nuts or part of some secret TIS agency. How he bungled the entire thing for the first month before fighting with one of the parents, how he always wished that the damn costume would get destroyed in a fire, and how he had at first wished he had the goose costume back when she showed him the purple tuxedo.

"Yeah, I thought she was nuts too," Kit nodded when he was finished, holding his stomach from laughing. "She first caught me in the Natwick library; I was reading about cars and stuff." Sighing, he said, "I could hide at the library; no one cared if I was dirty or half starved, or that my parents were dead and TIS never looked in there. What street kid would be trying to improve his mind right?"

"I never even thought about hiding in the library," Yakko muttered. "It was just some place to go, take the sibs, try to teach them stuff. Smart move."

"The street bullies didn't go in the library; I was safe there. She came to me one day and I bolted; didn't know who she was, this crazy fat woman talking about cookies and geese. A few weeks later she saw me in a street fight."

"She helped you?"

"Nah, I managed to talk my way out of it mostly. I did get a bloody nose though."

"You?" Yakko asked with a snort. "In a fight?"

"Hey, I was a cub - we don't start off real big, and if I had something they wanted, someone was going to kick my ass for it."

Yakko nodded, happy that he at least had his mallet by the time they were on the streets.

"I'm still pissed about that," Kit continued. "I shoulda been smart enough to run but I sat there and ran my damn mouth. I lost my hamburger. I remember not even caring I got the bloody nose, I just remember I was really hungry and that was my last thing to eat - found it in a trash can."

Yakko winced, sympathizing. He remembered one time when they didn't have money, one of their first months out on the streets…

It was raining, no one was out on the street, no pockets to pick. He used the last bit of money he had left to get Wakko and Dot food.

Cheese crackers. It was the only thing he could afford.

When they had fallen asleep he had quickly gone scavenging, hoping to find something to eat for himself and a pocket to pick; he refused to feed Wakko and Dot out of a dumpster. He had managed to pick about eight dollars, enough for food for them in the morning, and had found a half eaten chicken wrap in the dumpster to eat for himself. Disgusted but desperate he had eaten it, pulling off the chewed end.

He also later found out that Caesar Salad Dressing went rancid quickly. As he had been bent over throwing up in an alley he had sworn he would always have money for food on him after that he didn't care how many pockets he had to pick.

He tried not to take more than necessary, but the damn phrase 'God as my witness I'll never be hungry again' had been a personal motto for a long time.

Along with keeping a low profile and always knowing where Wakko and Dot were, it was one of his first lessons out on the street. Always have money for food for them and a shelter - it was part of having a plan. Anything else could wait.

"She yanked me into some diner, cleaned my nose up and bought me a burger - even got me fries. But she said I owed her and sort of dragged me to the library," Kit continued. "Made me sit there and listen to her tell Goldilocks to all these little rugrats and clean up the place afterwards. And she still paid me twenty bucks and gave me the golf ball. Told me I had the job if I wanted it; the damn kids went nuts when she left for her little break. I always wondered what she was doing when I was younger."

"Yeah, it wasn't till I was a lot older I realized she was going out and redoing her spin change," Yakko said. "No way anyone could have actually made that freakish dress - it could only be toon created."

"And smoking," Kit added. "Saw her doing it once and she went all nuts on me, telling me how bad it was." Sighing he looked over at him. "I went over there, sometimes, after you told me where she was. I don't think I ever actually said thank you; she deserved it. I hope she knew how much I appreciated her helping me."

Nodding his head toward Ms. Cunningham Kit added, "No way in hell I would have met her if it wasn't for Goose. Hell, I would have never made it to Disney - she's the one that sent me there after I came running into the library with TIS on my ass."

"They caught you? I thought you said you never - "

"They never caught me; I was too quick. I got to the library that Saturday and sort of screamed at her what was happening. She found me the bus schedule to get out of the district, told me to head for Disney because I was 'perfect' and helped me sneak out the back door. Thank God I showed up just as the auditions for 'TaleSpin' was taking place. Strolled in the front gate like I owned that joint even though I was scared to death." Looking at Yakko he asked, "She sent you to Warner Brothers?"

"No, we were out on the street for about a year before we got there - you know the story, from the paper - Darkwing, Wakko's sticky fingers?" At Kit's nod he added, "We sort of blundered into the 'Animaniacs' audition. I don't know how we pulled that off."

Yakko started telling him about it, hearing Kit snickering at the fumbled audition.

"Well, you obviously didn't do too bad; you got hired."

"Yeah, thankfully. We'd probably be caught if we weren't. Darkwing still hunts us down occasionally to annoy us."

"That guy's a prick," Kit muttered. "He pulled me over when Rebecca and I were out the other day. Actually ran my damn permit."

"How's that going?"

"Awesome as always with me at the helm," Kit said. "Passed the written with no problem, will get my license here in a few months. Rebecca's been letting me even drive with Molly in the car now, though she just sits in the back seat and laughs and screams 'we're all gonna die Mommy cover your eyes!' or asking 'Can I do it next?'." Sheepishly he shrugged and asked, "What about you? I thought you were - "

"It got put off with all this," Yakko said, waving one hand to encompass the room. "Just hearing that one of your mentors died…getting my permit seemed like something that wasn't that important."

"Goose wouldn't want you to put that off."

"I know," Yakko sighed. "Maybe in a week or something; we're still staying at Bugs' house right now and he's supposed to get me the study manual."

"It's easy man and it's multiple choice - I doubt you'll have problems."

Yakko looked up as Foghorn and Bugs left the viewing area. The rooster was looking depressed and patting the shoulder of an upset looking Bugs. The rabbit had offered to go back with him but Yakko had refused, wanting it to be just his siblings and him…if they still wanted to go.

"If Bugs is barely holding it together, I don't have much hope for me," Yakko muttered.

"I know; I haven't gone back yet either. You bringing Wakko and Dot?"

"If they want to come; they knew her too and they're old enough to make that decision for themselves." Running his hand through his hair Yakko said, "If you don't want to go by yourself, you can come with us."

Shaking his head Kit said softly, "No, I'll go by myself, when some of these people start to leave. I don't want a crowd when I come out."

Yakko nodded. He had been keeping an eye on the viewing room. All day in fact; when they had first come in he had briefly craned his neck to look in. All he had been able to see was the cheap casket on the high wooden platform surrounded by flowers with a few folding seats scattered around.

Wakko and Dot thought there would be more chairs, and he had to explain again that it wasn't a room anyone was supposed to hang out in. It wasn't proper; the only one who would stay in there consistently would be Charlotte since she was a family member and anyone who wanted to sit with her would be welcome. But it wasn't a 'hang out' room.

Gathering them on his lap this morning he had to again explain what was going to happen when they arrived. Usually, everyone met in the parlor, talked, then went back as they felt ready to view the deceased if need be, talk to them if they wished, greeted the grieving family before meeting back in the parlor. Invited guests all usually went at some point to eat where anyone who wished could say a few words about the person who passed while the casket was quietly taken out and the cremation process was begun.

Dot had declared that cremation was a nicer way to do things than burial. She still couldn't seem to understand why the humans had to bury their dead like a dog with a bone because it would be lonely and cold. Yakko tried to explain it more but could tell he was confusing her and Wakko further and put it in the 'things to explain when their older' file. He was happy they had caught on to what they had; they were both still young.

It wasn't quite what the humans did, but worked for them. They still showed their respect, but in different ways. The stronger ones were able to help support those that were overcome with grief, the children weren't as frightened, and there was no long sermon to sit through.

He sighed, looking at the viewing room again. When he was in there he had to remember the envelope he had in his breast pocket for Charlotte . Depending on how well the deceased person was known, it was customary to hand the closest living relative a monetary amount to help with the service expenses. Cremation was much cheaper than the humans' idea of burial, but it was still enough that helping out wasn't discouraged. Plus the cost of food, Charlotte would be too distraught to work at her shop for awhile…

Yakko had been ignorant of that - thankfully Bugs had mentioned it. The rabbit had said he would take care of it. He knew Goose longer and he was the adult. They were with him, it wouldn't be unheard of for them not to donate.

Yakko had actually been a bit insulted; if he had never met Goose, he wouldn't be sitting in Bugs' kitchen stealing his coffee every time he turned his head. Luckily Bugs had backed off, helped him come up with a suitable amount from the Warners and let it go.

Looking over at Kit he could see a small white envelope in the bear's top pocket. He figured he had probably had the same discussion with Ms. Cunningham at some point which made him happy. Kit's early life had been as much of a nightmare as his own at times; the idea that the bear now had someone to help him pleased him.

Sighing, he pushed himself off the wall, looking for his siblings. Wakko was sitting on a settee with Goofy's boy, looking at something or another - Yakko didn't care, he was being still for once. Dot was off with the younger children, most looking upset and confused as to what they were supposed to do.

"Going?"

"Yeah, put it off long enough; it's empty now."

"Good luck man," Kit said, standing beside him and giving him a brief hug. "I never thought I'd say I was happy about anyone having to go through that Puddles shit, but I'm sorta glad you did just because I wouldn't know you otherwise."

Yakko returned the hug and nodded.

"Me too - though I would probably pay to see your fuzzy face sticking out of a goose's mouth."

"Fuck you Warner - I spent the first month in that thing trying to crouch down so no one would see me. I was short anyway; you probably only woulda seen my ears."

"You got your ball right?"

"Don't we always?"

Nodding Yakko squeezed his shoulder briefly before heading toward Dot, waving at Wakko to come to him as well. Neither spoke, but Wakko fidgeted beside him and Dot simply raised her arms up in the standard 'pick me up' move he had become so familiar with.

Silently, he bent to pick her up while she looked relieved to be getting away from the huddle of confused children. Taking Wakko's hand and thankful that his brother wasn't putting up a fuss about it, he looked up and froze.

Why the hell was Dipwing here?

He straightened, giving the duck a cold look when he turned from his conversation briefly with Goofy and a very bored looking Foghorn. Darkwing met his eye and they both stared at each other, faces showing no emotion.

After a few seconds, Yakko felt his eyebrows raise in surprise when the duck simply gave him a curt nod before Foghorn roughly tapped his shoulder, asking him a question and distracting him. The duck turned and answered, seemingly oblivious to Yakko.

Foghorn looked up for a moment at him, raising one eyebrow before making a gesture to Yakko to continue what he was going to do. After that he rolled his eyes at Darkwing and went back to trying to look somewhat interested in what he was saying.

Yakko though silently thanked both the rooster for not interfering and for whatever deity intervened and let Darkwing just choose to ignore him. They may loathe each other, but this wasn't the place for a fight.

Squeezing Wakko's hand tighter and feeling Dot gripping onto his suit jacket, Yakko turned from glaring at the man and walked across the parlor, ignoring everyone around him. He just had to get through this - hopefully not break down - and they could retreat back to the safety and relative comfort of the parlor.

Stepping in, the first thing he noticed was the smell; an overpowering, cloying perfume - a lavender vanilla mix that was making his stomach turn. He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Charlotte sitting in a chair against the right wall, nervously shredding a used Kleenex in her lap while several women - young and old, sat with her and talked.

He nodded to her and she gave him a tight smile. He would speak to her after they saw Goose.

He turned his eyes back to the casket, not able to see much other than a vague blurry shape and he blinked. He wasn't going to cry, not right now, he had to make sure Wakko and Dot got through this. It probably wouldn't be the last service they ever went to; it was his job to make sure they weren't traumatized so much that they would never want to go back.

Dot, who had been looking around waved at Charlotte. When she spied the casket she leaned her head on his shoulder, hiding her face. Wakko just looked around, but moved closer to him.

For all his time on the street, he had never seen a dead body, unless the vagrants who were dead drunk counted. He wasn't sure how he had managed to avoid seeing that, but he was always silently thankful.

Now though, that streak was at an end. He wasn't even sure himself what to expect. When asked, Bugs had said the person was usually dressed nice - she may or may not have her gloves, it would depend on if she had taken them out of her Hammerspace or not prior to the attack. Most toons - the humans and birds at least - were cremated without their gloves on.

Bugs said he had never regretted going into a viewing room though; it did give a sense of closure, and since no one had been there to say 'good-bye' to her, this was their last opportunity to do so. Charlotte said she was probably going to have the ashes removed from the urn and planted under a tree.

Wakko had been curious about seeing her before; now he seemed to be more hesitant since Yakko could feel him pausing beside him. Dot seemed scared; he could feel her squirming slightly in his arms. He was glad he talked to them before; they were scared but had a basic idea of what to expect, and he was secretly proud of them for still going.

And he was being slightly selfish - he was happy they were going with him. Wakko's feet weren't the only ones hesitating. He took as much comfort in them as they did with him.

Swallowing, he continued walking toward the open casket, the head portion up, the bottom portion closed. He had been warned about this as well.

As he got closer he could make out more features and details. A dark blue dress, her hands, not in gloves, folded on her chest with a book in them, her hair, gray in places but still blond done in her usual ringlets, and her face placid and calm, so unlike the woman in real life.

And golf balls - dozens and dozens of golf balls. So many golf balls that the casket was half filled with them, some still shiny and white, others having faded to cream they were so old. Others were almost gray. Some were dinged up, some were still in perfect condition, the lights overhead rippling over their dimpled surfaces. And each one of them represented a life she had touched, helped shape, somehow make better.

There were so many in the casket they were almost covering her in places, spilling over her shoulders, a few caught in her ringlets, a few more placed on the satin pillow under her head.

Trembling, Yakko let go of Wakko's hand and shifted the now stiff Dot to his other side. Concentrating, he reached into his Hammerspace and thought while she clutched him tighter. After a moment he felt his own golf ball shoot into his hand and he pulled it out.

It was still almost as white and shiny as the day she had given it to him. Looking down he saw Wakko had pulled his out as well and was looking at it.

With a ragged sigh Yakko reached over, having to rise up slightly on his toes to put the ball in the casket, near her head. Placing it on the pillow with a shaky hand he watched it roll down the pillow slightly, landing on her shoulder.

He felt his neck getting wet as Dot started sobbing in it and hoped he was right and that she was old enough to come back there.

He had been hesitant about it at first; after all she was only eight. Dot had sworn she was though. She knew what to expect and kept insisting that because she knew her she should be allowed to say 'bye'. Just because she didn't get a golf ball from her because she was too young at the time, was she any less valid?

Moving her back to his left side again, he looked down at Wakko, who was up on his toes trying to see in the casket. Still too short, he was pulling his arm back to throw the ball in and Yakko quickly stopped him.

"Wakko stop!" He hissed. "You can't just throw it in!"

"I wanna put mine next to yours and I'm too short!" He insisted, pulling his arm back again.

Yakko quickly grabbed his arm before he threw it and bent down, picking him up around his waist. Hoisting him up he mentally weighed him, temporarily distracted from where he was. Wakko was getting heaver; he used to be able to toss him around with one arm and not think twice about it. He'd probably be undergoing a growth spurt soon; all his little friends were.

"Hate being short - "

"Not gonna be short forever kiddo - give it another year or so." Lifting him up as much as he was able he turned so Wakko could drop his ball near his.

He set Wakko back on his feet next to him, and smiled to himself when he didn't let go of his hand. Wakko tried to be 'big' but deep down, he was still a little kid.

Yakko went back to looking at Goose for a second until Dot lifted her head from his soggy neck. He glanced over at her.

"You OK Dot? I can take you out and come back - "

"No," she said, scrubbing at her red rimmed eyes with tiny gloved fists. "It's just that I don't have anything to give her."

"You gave her plenty," Yakko said, happy he could console his sister; it took his mind off his own worries.

She had wanted to do something before, but the only thing she said she had was the flower. She said she couldn't use that though because Yakko technically gave her that, even though he had gotten it from Goose. She wanted to do something herself.

"You went and visited with her, sat and talked with her, made her feel important when she was here - "

"But she was!"

"Yeah, but she didn't get a lot of visitors," he pointed out. "You went by and sang and danced and talked to her, and she got to teach you to knit. Just by being there with her you were giving her something - "

He frowned at her; she was ignoring him and reaching into her own Hammerspace, her tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrated.

He huffed; he had a whole little spiel planned to cheer her up too. He was going to point out how she was a wonderful giving little girl and even though she was too young to really remember Goose like he did she had made an old lady's last few years very happy. If she wasn't paying attention to him though he wasn't going to bother; he didn't talk just to hear himself talk.

Not all the time.

Watching her, he almost started laughing when he saw what she pulled out of her Hammerspace. Her knitting needles that Goose had given her.

"Dot, keep those - "

"No," she said stubbornly.

"But - "

"Not my fault I didn't get a golf ball from her, but I got these," she said, holding the two worn needles up to him.

Yakko quickly moved his head out of the way before he lost an eye and sighed. She was right. It wasn't her fault she was too young to have gotten a golf ball from Goose too and those had been something she received from her.

"That's fine Dot, go ahead."

She then looked at him, one eyebrow raised. He stared back at her, wondering what she wanted. It was her choice and he respected it and he already said she could.

"I can't reach Yakko," she finally said.

_Oh._

"Sorry," he muttered, letting go of Wakko's hand so he could hold her steady with both. He didn't want her accidentally knocking into the casket.

Leaning in, he watched as Dot said 'good-bye' before she laid the needles across the book. Yakko glanced at the title.

_Mother Goose in Prose._

How fitting.

Dot nestled back into his chest and he cuddled her for a second before reaching out one hand to gently stroke the face of Goose.

Yakko glanced over at Dot, who had gone back to mournfully sobbing into his jacket. He then glanced down at Wakko, who was now clinging to his waist, one hand clutching his belt while he stood on his toes to watch.

Without her, he wouldn't have a job, or friends, or anything. But most importantly, without her he wouldn't have a sense of confidence, self respect, or them - Wakko and Dot. He would probably have lost them. Even if he had somehow managed to avoid losing them, without her he would have lacked the ability to have been able to help them though much of anything, especially a difficult time like now.

And without them, he was nothing, and he owned it to her.

"Thank you, for everything," he whispered.

_End Chapter 32_


	34. Chapter 34

Author's Note: As most of you know, I had the side story 'Friends' going on for a while which is now complete. If you did not read it it is certainly not a requirement but several things that happened in the side story are mentioned in 'Family'.

I thank those of you that did read 'Friends' and left your comments, but now it is time to return to the main story. With that said, here is the next chapter.

Enjoy.

Chapter 33 - Lessons

May 28, 1996

"Boy! Turn left!"

_I am! The damn truck isn't responding!_

"No, your other left!"

_God, not again…please please please not again…Just be quiet…_

"Boy! Listen when I speak to ya son! Turn the wheel left!"

_I am! Maybe tell me how much instead of complaining about the rubber being taken off your damn tires!_

_OK, just crank this sucker left as hard as I can…_

"Just ease…No no! Too fast! This ain't Indianapolis!"

_Oh put a sock in it!_

"Too much crank boy! Look - no! The cone! Look - Oh my God my paint!"

Yakko heard the crunch of the hard plastic cone collapsing under the right front tire of Foghorn's truck a millisecond before the rooster's warning yell was bellowed through the bullhorn he had Fritzed. Yakko wasn't even sure why he had Fritzed it - Foghorn was loud enough without one that he could hear him over the engine of the vehicle with the window rolled down and all the activity happening around them on the lot.

Even now he could hear him, though this time Foghorn wasn't shouting instructions; he was lamenting the loss of yet another safety cone, sent to an early demise because of Yakko's tendency to run over them instead of driving the truck next to them.

With a shaky sigh, Yakko rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment, trying to collect his nervous thoughts and still his sweaty hands while Foghorn continued to moan outside. Yakko closed his eyes, hoping if he did he wouldn't see Foghorn coming towards the truck to kill him.

If he had to sum up his entire driving ordeal, he could only use one word: disastrous. He was never going to get his license. Driving was entirely more difficult than he had imagined it would be. He hadn't felt like crying in a while, but Yakko was almost at the point of curling in a fetal position in the rear seat and just giving up.

Why wasn't he getting this? He had passed the written exam with flying colors - he should have – he had the damn book memorized. He had sat through a classroom portion and had no problems there either.

But once he was behind the wheel of a vehicle things just fell apart.

Yakko wearily looked up, seeing Foghorn shaking his head sadly, holding two lugnut covers, the tin battered and flattened by constant smashes into cones, curbs, or anything else that got in the way.

Foghorn looked up at him, his woebegone look disappearing and being replaced with irritation.

It had to be him. Foghorn had been working with him for three weeks now and he had barely grasped how to take the truck out of park. He couldn't blame Foghorn for yelling and losing his patience - he kept messing up.

It wasn't just Foghorn - no matter who tried to teach him, nothing was sticking in his brain. He was getting a reputation as being as bad a driver as Bugs. Pretty soon he would be able to take Bugs' title of 'worse driver ever'.

Scratchansniff had tried to work with him. Once. The doctor swore he would never do it again. Yakko couldn't blame him - that lesson had been dreadful. The doctor seemed to think he had a better grasp on how to operate the vehicle than he did.

That was his mistake, a rather costly one and comedic for everyone who had witnessed it. Yakko had been a bit flattered when the doctor had come to him and said he would be willing to teach him, if Yakko would knock off the 'coo-coo' stuff for a while.

Yakko had agreed and hopped in the driver's seat of the doctor's Volvo 960, a humongous car but rather luxurious. The doctor had been trying to teach him to back but failed to take into account Yakko's tendency to be a bit heavy footed on the gas.

Yakko was sure he wouldn't make that mistake again, especially when he backed up into Ralph's guard shack. Two weeks later he still heard comments about it. What had made it even worse was since he had been near the front gates at the time, several _paparazzi_ had managed to get pictures of the burgundy vehicle half embedded into the shack and published them in any tabloid willing to pay for the story.

He scowled slightly as he opened his eyes and glared down at the floor of the truck through the steering wheel. Scratchansniff had immediately been banned from teaching him anything further to do with driving. Yakko had offered to pay for the damages, though he cringed at how much it was sure to cost. The doctor didn't drive a cheap vehicle.

Scratchy had refused but had been slightly chilly towards him ever since. The entire ordeal hadn't exactly eased his mind towards driving any. If nothing else it was a lesson learned; always check his mirrors.

After that fiasco, Plotz had declared that he would teach Yakko some things, since Foghorn was busy and couldn't work with him all the time and he honestly thought this was important enough for it not to be left to just anyone.

While Yakko had managed to not implant his Cadillac STS into any stationary objects and he did appreciate the man trying to help, Plotz was a busy stressed out little pigmy at the best of times. In a situation where his extremely expensive vehicle was in very unskilled hands…

Yakko had a great deal of respect for the man and the job he did. But, he wasn't a tutor for a reason - his personality was not conducive to teaching. Plotz spent so much time yelling at him about what not to do with his car and how not to drive that Yakko had almost given up. He was pretty sure when all was said and done he hadn't driven Plotz's car more than ten feet though his ass had several hours of flight time in the driver's seat.

If nothing else it really helped clear the air between them. He and Plotz had several rousing arguments, a few of which included several swear words that Yakko was pretty sure the man made up on the spot.

Their tutoring sessions ended amicably though. They both finally agreed they respected each other and the jobs they did but they still didn't really like each other. That being said, their mutual respect but dislike of each other had made for a successful relationship over the last four years; there was no sense in destroying that association.

Yakko took several deep breaths while trying to calm down.

It was him. Three different people now had tried to help him and nothing was working. Some people just couldn't drive - he was obviously one of them. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to sit in a car after this ordeal; the idea of trying again had him on the verge of a panic attack. As it was Foghorn's steering wheel was slick with his anxious sweat and they had only been practicing for half an hour.

He better get used to the bus.

Hearing a tapping on the window, Yakko looked up, seeing Foghorn watching him with one eyebrow cocked.

Shoulders slumping in defeat, Yakko reached over, hitting the switch to make the window roll down and envisioning the rooster's hand reaching in to strangle him.

"Boy, you're lucky - didn't scratch my paint."

Which was a relief - he'd feel bad if he did any damage to Foghorn's truck. The last time he had hit something while going a bit too fast in the lot the rooster had been in the truck. When Yakko had hit the cone Foghorn had jumped out of the truck before Yakko had got it into park, his feathers almost turning red because he was so angry.

"But damned if you didn't knock off two of the lugnut covers - ran over them too!" Shaking his head in a mocking manner he added, "Probably did a number on the suspension…"

Yakko glared at him, frustration and anger welling up in him. Foghorn knew he was nervous - how could he not be? He had three different people try to teach him to drive, and they all failed miserably. The one teacher that taught him almost everything wasn't allowed to deal with him on this which wasn't fair - Bugs had been a lot better lately. Plotz wouldn't even let Slappy teach him - she owned a Mustang and he refused to allow an almost sixteen-year-old behind the wheel of that on his lot.

Slappy had whispered that she'd let Yakko drive the damn thing next time they were off the lot - she wanted to see him terrify the locals. She claimed it would keep them all on their toes.

Plotz overheard and said another comment like that and he'd see to it she never left the lot with any of the children again. Surprisingly she had actually grown silent after that.

They were on the studio lot with tons of people watching - as he was meandering around he occasionally saw the tram for the studio tours passing. Yakko was positive that every single tourist was watching and snapping pictures of him looking like an idiot behind the wheel.

Not even just tourists; other actors, stage hands, office personal, everyone was watching him, he could just feel it. While he hadn't actually seen many people stopping to stare, point or laugh, he knew they probably were and he just hadn't seen them because he was too busy trying to listen to Foghorn's boisterous voice and looking in mirrors…

Not wanting to but unable to help himself, Yakko looked up through the rear view mirror, something he had been trying to avoid all day. Off in the background he could see Max and Wakko running around laughing and playing and talking to someone in a car that had driven up.

No they were just laughing. At him. He hadn't forgotten the comments when they were camping; the boys all playfully screaming he was going to kill them all and nicknaming him 'Hell on Wheels'.

Yakko looked with trepidation at the steering wheel; they were right probably. He was just murdering cones now - what if those cones were a person?

He was awful at this. There's no way he would allow his siblings to get into a vehicle being driven by him. Hell, he didn't want to be in a vehicle being operated by him.

Driving was overrated. Walking was much better - his feet had taken him wherever he needed to go his entire life; why mess with a good thing?

"Yeah, sorry Foghorn - "

"Don't' be sorry boy! Stop hitting - I say - stop hitting them cones! You're supposed to drive through them not over them! How many times I gotta say it?"

"I'm not doing it on purpose," Yakko said tightly.

_Why did Foghorn have to talk so loud? It sounded like he was yelling - _

_No, he's not yelling. Foghorn's trying to help; he wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to help…_

_How the hell did Wakko put up with him? _

"Didn't figure you would - not in my truck! Know you're smart - you got the book sense but no common sense - "

"Look, I said I was sorry!" Yakko snapped while ripping off his seat belt and wishing that Foghorn would just stop talking - even five minutes would be helpful. Throwing open the door and stepping out he added, "Everyone's watching - "

"No one's watching you boy!" Foghorn snapped. "People on this lot got tons more things to do than watch you murder every cone that's unfortunate enough to get in your path - "

"Well you set them there!" Yakko fired back, frustration and anger making him forget who he was talking to. "You're the one that put them in my path!"

Foghorn was a friend, one of the first that managed to forget he was still technically a 'kid' and treated him like an equal - what was he doing? The man had taken time out of his own busy life to repeatedly come up to the lot and help him and he was using his truck and yelling at him.

But Foghorn was yelling at him too; Yakko had a feeling he was mad. He didn't exactly look mad and under any circumstance the rooster was loud, but damn couldn't he try to keep his voice down when he was training a jittery teenager how to drive?

"Come here boy," Foghorn demanded, stepping back and pointing towards the cones. "Set them there to show you what a parking space - "

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Who's yelling?" Foghorn asked, a momentary look of confusion on his face. "If I'm yelling you're gonna know it boy! Trying to get through to you - "

"Well braying at me like a jackass isn't working!" Yakko said, clenching his fists before shoving them deep in his pockets. "I can hear perfectly well - you don't need to shout!"

_Breathe Yakko, breathe._

"Boy I ain't yelling," Foghorn rumbled. "You want to hear yelling, hit that there cone again! I said steer the truck around - "

"I heard you! I tried OK?"

"Don't try - just do it! This ain't rocket science!" Reaching through the window and tapping the steering wheel Foghorn said, "See this here wheel? You turn it - I say - you turn it in the direction - "

"I know that! I've been trying - "

"Trying my patience!" Foghorn said. "Son I don't know what else to do here! Feel like I'm talking to a mule - "

"Well if you feel that way then don't bother!" Yakko fumed, straightening his spine and turning away from him. "I'll find someone who - "

"Boy you're stiffer than a Marine at short arm inspection with his favorite drill instructor! Relax; you been getting into the coffee again? This is supposed to be fun!" Foghorn ordered loudly while slapping Yakko on the shoulder.

"What part of this is fun huh?" Yakko demanded. "Your screaming and hollering or the part where you continuously shout as to how much damage I'm no doubt doing to your car?"

"Son the wheel's still spinning in your mind but the hamster's up and died," Foghorn yelled. "Didn't mean you were destroying my truck; trying to joke - "

Stabbing a finger towards the truck Yakko added loudly, "Joke? Your entire lesson plan is a joke. This…thing…doesn't turn! It doesn't go into a parking space! It's bigger than a bus! And just because you've been driving for a hundred years doesn't mean the rest of us - "

"Teenagers!" Foghorn moaned, rolling his eyes before rubbing his beak in annoyance. "All the same - I say - all the same! Everyone's against you, everything's gotta be so overblown and dramatic - "

"I am not being overblown and dramatic!" Yakko yelled, disliking the way his voice rose to a shriek and feeling his temper flare up. Standing on his toes in an attempt to get in the rooster's face he yelled, "Though how could anyone fault me if I was? You're not a good driving instructor!"

"And you're not a good driving student!" Foghorn yelled back, bending over so his beak was touching Yakko's nose. "How Bugs puts up with you - I say - how Bugs puts up with you and your lippy - "

"How Wakko manages to pay attention with you bellowing all the time - "

"Ah, Mister Foghorn, Master Yakko…I was hoping to run into you."

_Why? So someone else can witness my complete and utter humiliation?_

Eyes narrowed, Yakko turned his head, already knowing who spoke.

"Hi Jeeves," Yakko said sharply.

He heard the tone of his voice and tried to calm down; yelling at Jeeves would do no good. Hell, yelling at Foghorn wasn't really going to do any good; it wasn't the rooster's fault he was failing at driving.

He better keep on his friends' good side; one of these days he may need a ride.

"Good afternoon Master Yakko - "

"Thousandth time Jeeves, just Yakko."

"My apologies Master Yakko; appearances," Jeeves said calmly while brushing an invisible speck of dirt off his blazer and seemingly oblivious that he had interrupted an argument.

Yakko sighed. He really hated 'Master Yakko'. Normally he tried to shrug it off; right now though the slightest thing was setting him on edge.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady his taunt nerves.

"And Mister Foghorn - "

"For the thousandth and one time it's Foghorn - not Mister!" Foghorn barked, finally turning from Yakko. "Now I'm stuck - I say - now I'm stuck with two people who don't listen to anything I say - "

"I am afraid I am to be the bearer of bad news; Master Montana and Master Wakko are beside me. Therefore, you are stuck with four people who do not listen - to you or anyone else," Jeeves remarked, putting a hand on each boy's head while Foghorn snorted.

Yakko looked down at both boys, who were whispering to each other while laughing and fidgeted in annoyance and embarrassment. They were whispering about him, he just knew it. Wakko was probably telling Max he would never get in any vehicle being operated by him -

"I think - I say - I think we better take a break boy," Foghorn said, looking like he was getting himself back under control. "Try this again tomorrow…"

While Foghorn talked, Yakko shook his head. He never considered himself a quitter - he never had the luxury of just giving up and quitting on anything before but in this instance he would make an exception. While it was an unfamiliar feeling, Yakko surmised that he knew when to just give something up.

No sense in beating a dead horse, or in this case continuing to drive over it again and again. He wasn't going to be able to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle -

" - and I assume that these can be replaced - "

"Easily; just gotta go to the shop…might go to the truck stop - "

"I wanna go!" Wakko piped in, looking ecstatic at the idea of going and hanging around a truck stop for awhile. "Can I?"

Yakko looked down at his brother's eager little face and shrugged, not really paying attention. Just because he was having a bad day didn't mean that Wakko should too. And while Foghorn seemed livid with him, he seemed pleased with the idea of going to the truck stop and having company for the trip.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Yakko muttered. "If Foghorn - "

"Course he can come," Foghorn said, shrugging while Wakko yelped in glee. "If it's all right with you, it's all right with me."

Wakko grinned happily for a moment before beginning to talk to Max again, who looked disturbed at his friend's delight at the idea of willingly going to a truck stop.

"We'll go to the one south; got lots of chrome there - "

Fine. With Dot off with Lisa and Wakko off with Foghorn, he would have several hours, alone. He could use the time to figure out how much a chauffer for the rest of his life would cost him.

Nodding wearily, Yakko added, "Let me know how much the covers are; I'll pay - "

"Don't be ridiculous," Foghorn scoffed loudly. "It's fine; these things are - "

"I screwed them up - "

"Don't worry about it Yakko, these - "

"I'll replace them!" Yakko said, struggling to keep his voice down.

"Said it's fine," Foghorn repeated. "Listen when I speak son!"

"I do!" Yakko snapped back with a little more force than he intended. "I'll buy you a whole damn case of them if you'll stop yelling - "

"I'm not yelling; when I yell - "

"Master Montana," Jeeves said loudly, getting everyone's attention, including Max's who looked guiltily at him. "Why don't you accompany your friend to this truck stop?"

Max started violently before demanding incredulously, "Have you been huffing oven cleaner? How frightful! I can assure you that I will not step foot on - "

"If you don't mind Mister Foghorn?"

"Wouldn't matter," Foghorn muttered. "No one listens to me anyway." Louder he said, "Don't mind - I say - don't mind at all."

"Well I mind!" Max snapped. "I refuse! If it's anything like the places I saw when we went camping it no doubt smells of unwashed bodies and grease, with dirt and debris strewn - "

"Master Montana, please just - "

"Jeeves no! I don't - "

"Montana, please - "

"But why - "

"Consider it a learning experience."

"Damn it," Max said, moodily crossing his arms and being led away by Wakko, who had already grabbed his arm and was trying to roughly force him into the rear seat of the pickup. "He always uses that!"

Yakko watched them go; if he wasn't in such a forlorn mood he'd accompany them just to see Max's revulsion at being seen in a truck stop.

Maybe he should go; he could use the laugh.

"Just take it easy boy," Foghorn said, sounding much calmer now that he had a few minutes to calm down and Yakko wasn't going to do any further damage to his truck that day. "Cool off, relax, we'll try again tomorrow."

_Don't count on it._

Nodding noncommittally and already making the decision that he was going to be walking the rest of his life, Yakko watched as Foghorn climbed into the truck, the din of Wakko and Max's conversation dying off as he slammed the door.

"Now then, with that out of the way, take a walk with me."

Surprised, Yakko looked back at Jeeves. He had almost forgotten about the butler.

"No thanks Jeeves; if you don't mind - "

"I do. Please walk with me," Jeeves said firmly, putting his arm around Yakko's shoulders and beginning to lead him back towards the front parking lot. "I think perhaps you need a bit of time to cool down."

"Me?" Yakko snorted. "I think Foghorn does - he's the one that's yelling and screaming about his breaks and tires and drums or some part of - "

"He was not yelling Master Yakko," Jeeves interrupted him. "Mister Foghorn's manner of speaking is simply louder than what you need in such a stressful situation. In reality he was trying to joke and was no louder than he normally is."

_You didn't have him bellowing in your ear about ruined suspensions._

"Come; the boys are off on a field trip and I need an adult to talk to before I am assaulted by Master Montana when he returns. No doubt he will act like it was unnecessarily cruel of me to even suggest he accompany his friend to such an establishment. He is sure to be full of stories and witticisms of how the combined odors of feces and diesel at this truck stop will give him nightmares for a month."

Snorting in amusement, Yakko reluctantly let himself be led by the butler, wondering why they were heading towards one of the many secured parking areas on the lot.

Yakko was aware that Jeeves parked there when he was dropping Max off - most of the children's families did, along with a large portion of the office personnel. This was also where Doctor Scratchansniff parked as well, though he had to move his car up to the front gates so everyone could see Yakko crash it.

As Jeeves continued to talk, Yakko glanced around, nervously seeing a few women getting into their minivans or slick sports cars and roaring away. He wondered if they had been watching from their office windows, pointing and laughing to each other about how the 'smart one' couldn't -

"Here we are Master Yakko."

Yakko dully turned back to Jeeves, wishing the man would go away so he could go hide in the tower for the afternoon. Doing some homework or plucking around on his guitar would distract him from his failure.

Wondering what the man had in mind, Yakko looked around. Jeeves was standing at a dark green Toyota Camry with a pleased smile on his face.

"Get in please," Jeeves said graciously. "We shall motor off towards - "

_Motor off?_

Hoping he wasn't going to insult his friend Yakko said hesitantly, "Sorry Jeeves, no offense, but I can't leave the lot with you. Nothing personal but - "

"I do not wish to leave the lot," Jeeves said, flipping him the keys before walking toward the passenger side of the car.

Yakko easily caught them before staring at them, confused.

Jeeves had obviously seen him driving and heard Foghorn lamenting the minor damage to his truck. Maybe Max was right - maybe the butler had been huffing oven cleaner in his off time.

When Yakko continued to not move, Jeeves spoke again.

"I believe I have figured out most of your problem Master Yakko; you seem confused as to which side the driver is to sit on. You shall find that driving is much easier when you sit on the side with the wheel and pedals - "

"Jeeves, no, no way," Yakko said, raising his arm to toss the butler his keys back. "If I damage - "

"I highly doubt you will damage this vehicle. They're very sturdy; this car has managed to survive the abuse Master Montana put on it through much of his adolescence. Rest assured I will stop you prior to you hitting a building."

Yakko gave him a nasty look. He was never going to hear the end of that.

"Several other people have attempted to help you through this most difficult time. Please let me at least attempt to try."

"I'm obviously not getting - "

"Perhaps you simply have not had the right instructor."

"Foghorn's been a tutor for years," Yakko snorted before remembering what he said to the rooster. He'd probably better apologize; he didn't want the rooster or Wakko mad at him. "He's been approved by the studio and I don't want to make him madder than he is - "

"Rest assured he is not mad at you, merely frustrated at his own inability to reach you. And do not fear he will be cross; he is aware that I am going to attempt to work with you while he entertains the younger children."

Yakko cocked his head to the side. He had been there and he hadn't heard anything -

"Have you forgotten we also know sign-language?" At Yakko's look of befuddlement Jeeves sighed and added, "If you wish to drive Master Yakko, I would also like to remind you that you need to observe what is happening around you, not just directly in front of you. Mister Foghorn and I were having a silent conversation; so were Master Montana and your brother."

Yakko huffed, mostly in annoyance. Usually he paid much better attention; after the adults had managed to trick him once while camping, he had vowed to watch them as much as the children. Both groups were sneaky.

"Sorry." With a put upon sigh he asked with trepidation, "Should I even question what those two were about to do?"

"One of their usual engaging pranks. The two rapscallions were planning on getting near the truck when you were driving. When sufficiently close, they planned on thumping the side of it before theatrically falling to the ground. Master Montana was all for playing dead; Master Wakko intended on screaming about how he would never walk again."

_Well, he won't now; just wait until he gets home._

Yakko clenched his fists, mostly in annoyance. Wakko knew how nervous he was about the entire thing. True, Wakko also told him he thought he was doing 'faboo' and that he couldn't wait until Yakko started driving and asking if he would let him drive his car, but like any eleven-year-old boy, he couldn't resist a joke.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he wished he had two younger sisters rather than one. He never had these sorts of headaches from Dot.

"Sending them both off with Mister Foghorn for awhile gives us time to work without any…potential victims," Jeeves said kindly.

"Thanks Jeeves, really," Yakko said quietly.

At least if he ever decided to try driving again - in the far off future - he would be aware that those two might try to prank him. Thank God the rest of their little posse wasn't there at the lot; with the extra two brain cells provided by Buster and Plucky, Yakko could only imagine what else they would have come up with to pester him.

He'd think of a suitable way of getting Wakko back later. Wakko was still annoyed that he had to go to Dot's horse show next weekend; maybe he'd make him dress up as a little groom and tend to Dot's horse. Yakko smirked at the thought off Wakko combing out the horse's mane and tail before shrugging it off. Wakko would probably unintentionally spook the horse and Dot wouldn't be able to ride.

Shrugging Jeeves added, "Consider it payback for helping me with a few difficulties during the camping trip. Besides, you can consider it doing me a favor; eventually I will have to teach Master Montana. I no doubt need the experience."

_Well…_

"I never thought you would quit so early in the game Master Yakko."

Yakko hesitantly looked at the Camry. It wasn't a gigantic car and he was aware that it wasn't the most expensive vehicle on the road. But still, he would feel terrible if he caused any damage to it.

But, other than Scratchansniff, he hadn't damaged anything severely. He knew he was overreacting even on the Volvo; he had scratched the paint and broken a taillight, but other than scaring the shit out of Ralph he hadn't caused any lasting damage. And even Plotz had grudgingly admitted that the doctor should have been paying much better attention to what Yakko was doing instead of trying to analyze his thoughts and feelings.

He knew he was being had, again. Jeeves was appealing to him like he would be doing him a huge favor by having him volunteer to be a training guinea pig. Yakko appreciated it.

_Maybe…_

Yakko sighed, wryly looking at Jeeves. Maybe it was worth one more shot. If he did better, great. If - like he was expecting - he didn't, then he wouldn't be too shocked. It couldn't hurt.

"All right Jeeves, but if I end up totaling your car I'm going to say 'told ya so'."

XXXXXXXXXX

"This is highly unusual."

"When has anything on this lot regarding any of these children not been 'highly unusual'?"

Yakko snorted at Jeeves' comment before shooting him a wry smile. While Plotz and Foghorn were continually arguing, at least Jeeves was staying calm.

Yakko was trying to stay silent; Plotz hadn't seemed very happy to see the three of them trooping into his office. He hadn't seemed real happy about anything actually; he had demanded that they leave and wait for an appointment because he was on the telephone.

When Foghorn had asked who he was talking to and was told Bugs, the rooster had smirked, snatched the receiver from the astonished CEO, told Bugs 'call back son - us folk with less than twenty speeding tickets have business to discuss' and hung up on the rabbit.

Yakko only wished he could have been at the other end to see Bugs' face.

He was surprised that the maneuver hadn't sent Plotz skyrocketing through the roof of the building - if he had tried it the angry little CEO probably would have tried to gnaw his hand off at the wrist. Then again, Foghorn was not only a major star with years of service to the studio, he was best friends with Bugs and he was also a six foot tall rooster who currently had a determined look in his eye. Plotz had stiffly ordered everyone to sit down and asked his secretary to bring in coffee.

Yakko knew he probably wouldn't have tried to argue with the rooster either.

"As true as that is, I'm not sure about this. You're not a studio employee," Mr. Plotz said, putting his pen down finally and gazing at both of them down his nose.

Foghorn, leaning against the wall near the window added in, "That's true - I say - that's true, but he seems to have done a better job than anyone else. None of us managed to reach him. Even you didn't get the job done for all your big talk and fancy car - "

"I resent that," Plotz snapped.

"Why? You didn't. Only thing you brought to the job was your car - "

"Be quiet Foghorn, I'm trying to think. And I can honestly say I tried - "

_Liar._

"Tried huh? Heard around the grapevine that you're angrier and louder than a nuclear bomb trying to teach the boy."

"Silence Foghorn - do you even know the meaning of the word?" Mr. Plotz snapped.

"Sure I do," Foghorn said. "Just pointing out that you weren't any more successful than anyone else. Just curious what harm it's gonna do if a non studio employee works with the boy."

Plotz frowned slightly and looked deep in thought at the comment.

Yakko crossed his fingers that Plotz would see reason. Plotz himself hadn't been able to teach him, neither had Scratchansniff or Foghorn.

Jeeves though…

Yakko had put the butler in a god-like status at this point. He had managed to teach him more in two hours than he had grasped from the other three combined in three weeks. His calm affable manner had managed to put Yakko at ease, and while he had no doubt put much undue stress and wear on Jeeves' vehicle the butler had not seemed perturbed about it.

Jeeves was brilliant - just taking him in the back lot, away from the curious watchful eyes of the other actors, office staff, tourists and anyone else wandering around had instantly helped. Without worrying about anyone watching him, Yakko had felt like an enormous weight had been lifted.

Of course Jeeves' car was tiny compared to the hulking behemoths the others drove. And cheaper; if Yakko destroyed it he reasoned he could replace it easily.

Not to mention Jeeves' normal speaking manner was decidedly quieter than any of the others that had tried to teach him. Even Scratchy was loud while yelling instructions to him.

All in all it had been a successful lesson, even if he had hit a curb when he was too busy paying attention to a group of college girls on the tram touring the lot. They had seen him and he had instantly perked up, waving at them while they snapped pictures.

He heard Jeeves tell him to pay attention less than a second before the driver's side tire had popped over the curb. That had been embarrassing.

Unfortunately Jeeves had lectured for a moment about not allowing himself to become distracted and behaving like a proper young gentleman and not an oversexed man beast. He wished to draw attention to himself because of his impeccable driving habits, not because he was propelling his vehicle over every object in sight and terrifying the tourists.

After that Yakko had managed to pay a bit more attention, barely glancing at any of the multitude of distractions that were still going on around him. He had even managed to get the car parked when they went back to the inner lot to meet Foghorn and the returning boys.

He wasn't going to win any driver of the year awards, but he had managed to finally park the car. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't smooth, and the vehicle was crooked in the space, but damn it he had gotten it in.

After that Foghorn had declared that obviously Yakko had it in him - just like he knew he did he claimed - and wished that Jeeves could teach him. Foghorn said he would even be willing to help Jeeves with some of that 'butlering stuff' he did if he could take on this job.

While Jeeves had declined any offer of assistance with his 'butlering stuff', he did state he would be willing to offer his assistance in at least teaching Yakko the basics. Foghorn could take back over after Yakko was comfortable behind the wheel of a vehicle and needed to take the next step up - driving on an actual public road.

Yakko counted the butler among his friends, but still didn't think they were close enough even after surviving the camping trip for the man to willingly offer to teach him that.

But he did, and accompanied them to Plotz's office, claiming he would offer and he knew the way. He had spent countless hours in the man's office due to 'Master Montana' usually being in there for causing some bit of mischief. He was happy for once to have a reason to be in there without having to apologize for some action of his ward's.

Yakko had even offered to pay the man, but the butler had looked so aghast at the idea he had instantly apologized and dropped the subject. Jeeves had declared friends didn't charge for help before directing Wakko and Max to try to keep out of trouble for a few minutes. Then he had marched everyone to Plotz's office for a sit down.

Yakko turned back to look at the skeptical Plotz.

"I don't know," Plotz sighed. "I'm sorry I even allowed this - "

Yakko stiffened slightly; Plotz wasn't going to renege on the deal was he? He better not; if he tried Yakko would be tempted to tell Wakko to pull his mallet out, Fritz as many of his fire-breathing bombs as he could and just go nuts around the studio.

He wouldn't really tell Wakko that of course, but damn it might be a credible threat to use against Plotz…

" - but I did, so let's try something else," Plotz finished, causing Yakko to release his breath in a relieved burst.

Plotz was an asshole, but at least he was an asshole that would hold up his end of a bargain.

"I was about to suggest Porky. Or even better, that you simply hire an instructor that would be willing to come to the lot. There are several - "

"I'd rather have someone I knew," Yakko answered, trying not to sound overanxious as he watched Plotz. "I like Porky, but…"

Yakko searched for the words he wanted to say without insulting the pig. He liked Porky - a lot - but his anal tendencies sometimes wore a little thin, not to mention that Porky drove at a snail's pace on the interstate. Porky would be so busy telling him what not to do he'd never find out what he was supposed to do.

Plus, Porky had a huge car.

"If I ever have a desire to ride horses, I would call him in an instant. On this…Ehhhhh, I think I'd be more comfortable with Jeeves."

He had stayed quiet so far since Foghorn had been bearing the brunt of Plotz's mood, but he would honestly rather deal with Jeeves for the time being.

Plotz tapped the desk impatiently and said, "But Porky is at the lot far more often than - "

"I would be willing to come to the lot several times a week to work with him," Jeeves said, drawing attention to himself. "Master Montana will have an opportunity to visit his friend - "

"Brilliant; give them more opportunity to cause trouble," Plotz muttered.

" -and Master Yakko would be able to practice in an environment he is comfortable with. After all, if he can not have his usual tutor due to his own questionable driving habit, he should at least have a friend." At Plotz's look Jeeves added, "And before you ask, I can assure you my own driving record is impeccable."

Plotz was silent for a moment before saying, "You're not a chaperone…you realize you couldn't leave the lot?" He asked, turning to Yakko. "I won't allow - "

"Of course I know that," Yakko said. "But even in here I'm learning loads - "

"Let the boy - I say - let the boy work with the butler for now," Foghorn interrupted, looking like he was getting annoyed. "When he's ready to go out and deal with the public he can go out with me. He's still learning, he's not leaving the lot without one of your approved chaperones. Wouldn't you rather that than keeping this fiasco up and having his name being plastered over every tabloid? Last headline I saw was '_Lock 'em In the Tower…Before He Drives Over It!'_"

Yakko sent an annoyed glance at Foghorn; he hadn't seen that headline. The last one he had seen said _'Just For Fun He Runs Around the Warner Movie Lot…And Crashes Into Everything He Sees!'_

"Still better than _'_Scratchansniff_ Needs Breaks - Both On His Car And From the Zany-To-The-Max-Yakko'_," Plotz sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before looking up again. "Fine, one last chance on this."

Yakko, who had been sinking in his chair at the other's reciting the headlines, sat up a little straighter. Plotz was weakening it seemed.

"If you think it will help, fine, you can work with Jeeves - only on the lot," Plotz stressed. "See that you keep out of sight of the gates; I don't want any additional damage to repair or cute headlines cropping up."

XXXXXXXXXX

June 1, 1996

" - and I promise I'll be right back Dot - "

"It's fine Yakko. It's not - "

"You're thirsty - you get a drink. Just…just stay here and do…whatever it is you're doing."

"Yakko - "

"You look great sister sibling," Yakko added, picking her up from behind and spinning her. "Absolutely perfect!"

Dot laughed while frantically grabbing at her helmet to keep it from flying off her head. If she didn't know better, she would say Yakko was more excited about her show than she was.

With a final squeeze, Yakko set her back on the ground, telling her he would be right back and the others were on their way, either to come in the barn to wish her luck or going to find ringside seats so they could all watch her next performance.

Dot turned, ready to tell her overanxious brother that she had just been looking for a drink, she hadn't meant for him to race off to get her one. Helping to saddle her horse, do any last minute grooming and leading him to where Porky was holding him until she got her outfit ready had been hectic and nerve-wracking. She was thirsty and she knew she had a drink somewhere, but she couldn't remember what she did with it.

She didn't care - she didn't even want a drink. She might spill it; her hands were trembling in pent up anxiety. She should skip the drink - she could drink after she did her performance.

When she turned to share those thoughts with Yakko, he grinned, snapped yet another picture of her before running out of the barn.

Smiling, Dot turned back to the mirror on the outside of the stall, gazing at herself and liking the image.

She looked perfect - Yakko wasn't wrong there.

Trying not to be vain but unable to stop herself, she admired her image in the mirror. She looked for any imperfections in her outfit but could find none. Her ratcatcher shirt was crisp and white, the collar snug against her throat. Her navy blue blazer hung at just the right angle and beautifully accented her buff breeches, and her tall boots were shining and gleaming.

Dot reached up, gently tugging on the collar pin, straightening it slightly and fixing her helmet which had become slightly askew when Yakko was twirling her around.

She looked up from the mirror slightly, seeing a few of the older girls and boys who were competing in a different class from her pass. Several of them smiled kindly at her. A couple of others merely looked her up and down, studying her outfit or remarking 'it's that girl from Animaniacs'.

She inwardly groaned. She didn't want to be 'that girl from Animaniacs'. She wanted to be noticed for her riding and performing ability, not simply as a television actress. It was bad enough there were a couple of reporters there, doing small stories on the show.

As soon as the reporters had seen her and Yakko and Wakko and Bugs and everyone else they had begun to swarm on them, asking questions and requesting their thoughts, mostly on upcoming movies or seasons of shows. Molly and Mrs. Cunningham and Kit hadn't been bothered as much, but Kit said it was because they were 'old news'. Their show had been off for years; 'Animaniacs' was still an active show and he had added with a shrug, Bugs, Foghorn, and Porky were pretty much legendary - five hundred years from now everyone would still know who those guys were.

Molly said she hadn't minded, but Dot had dragged her near her when a nasty reporter, a weasel, had begun shouting rude questions at her, asking if she had won her ribbon because she really did come in third, or if because she was related to Yakko Warner and had friends in 'high places'.

Molly had gotten yelled at for kicking him.

Dot was sorry that Molly had gotten yelled at, but Molly had saved her from getting in trouble - she had been trying to kick him first.

Foghorn had come over and got rid of the man as he continued to shout rude and nasty things at them, saying it would 'be a shame - I say - be a shame if that long muzzle of yours got all mashed up because of my fists.'

He got yelled at by Molly's mother too, saying he was behaving inappropriately in front of the children. Dot overheard her tell Foghorn later that if he was going to actually do something like that, he should really not announce it first and try not to have a lot of witnesses while doing it. Not that she would say anything.

Instead of saying anything rude, she returned their smiles with her own nervous one anxiously looking around the barn, not seeing any familiar faces. There were lots of people around - both humans and toons - and she recognized a few students from different classes at her home stable, but none she considered friends. She shared a few more smiles with a couple of younger children that were running around with their parents before turning back to the mirror.

She wished Yakko hadn't dashed off to get her a drink; she was going to be doing her jumps shortly. Molly and Ms. Cunningham were due to return shortly to be with her; Molly had ripped her breeches during her performance and needed to have a quick repair done before the damage got worse.

She knew she wasn't alone; Porky was right outside the doorway; if she squinted in the direction of the bright sunlight flooding in through the barn door she could just make out the pig's shadowy profile as he chatted with a group of people.

But she really wished Yakko had stayed. Honestly, Dot would rather he had skipped the drink and just stayed in there and talked to her.

He had barely left her side all day. The only time he had left her was when she was performing in the dressage competition earlier in the morning. She had come in third out of nine children in the class, earning herself a shiny yellow ribbon. She knew she had overshot and weaved her way down the centerline; Porky had kindly pointed that out, but told her it was a beginner mistake and the judges were not going to judge a mistake like that harshly. She still had handled herself well and looked cute as a button out there as she beamed at the judges and audience.

Molly, usually so hyper, was a dedicated performer and had communicated with her mount flawlessly, her movements so fluid and minimal that they were hardly noticeable. After doing her courtesy circle and turning in a stunning performance, she had impressed the judges enough to earn herself the coveted blue ribbon.

Dot had cheered as loudly as anyone else for her friend, but was envious of her confidence and poise. Her own mount, 'Center of Attention' was a bit high stung. She liked the little American Sport Pony, but he was unfamiliar to her. She had wanted to ride her usual mount when she took lessons but was told long ago that he was a training pony - 'Center of Attention' was a show horse.

Louise, her trainer, told her to simply keep her confidence up - any signs of nervousness or being unsure of herself would be communicated to 'Center of Attention' and he would begin to act up. He was the size of a Welsh Pony, but had all the attitude and stubbornness of an Arabian.

But Yakko and everyone else had hugged her and told her third place finish was great. She supposed it wasn't bad, but she had really wanted to come in first. She felt glad that anyone was there watching at all, but if she turned in bad performances none of them would ever want to come back to a horse show and watch her.

She gulped a little at the thought. One day she'd like to do a big show - a real show - not just a little county fair show at the Fairplex one day. Dot couldn't imagine doing a big show without her family and friends watching her.

For the most part, everyone had been supportive, doting on her and offering her self-esteem boosts, especially after her third place finish in the dressage competition. Some, like Foghorn and Bugs didn't seem to really understand what she was doing but told her she looked good doing it. Dot appreciated their support and well wishes even if they thought she was just supposed to sit on her pony and look pretty.

And some, like Wakko and Max, seemed like they were going out of their way to annoy and harass her, calling her outfit 'retarded' and the competitions 'boring'. She had been so nervous she hadn't been able to really look at them; she hoped they at least had been paying attention to her. But she had been trying so hard to concentrate that the only faces she was really able to pick out in the sea swarming around her had been Yakko's and Porky's.

Wakko and Max had wished her luck, sort of, telling her that they hoped she won so they could get this over with. She knew they hated her for making them come; she wished they wouldn't make it so obvious. It was slightly easier to ignore the people she didn't know laughing at her for messing up. It was a lot harder to ignore it when it was family and friends.

At least they had been nice and chased off a couple of kids that had been laughing at her earlier when she misplaced her helmet and was running around the barn and looking in the trailer. They had even threatened to beat up Diego, making the cat toon race off with his tail between his legs in fright.

Her brother and his friend weren't very bright, and they weren't nice sometimes, but it was comforting to have them around. What they lacked in brains and manners was made up for in creativity and brute strength. While they were harassing the other kids picking on her, they would get dirty and she could stay neat and clean. And out of trouble - they both had been yelled at a few times already.

She glanced around the barn while smoothing her jacket down again, wishing she saw anyone she knew. Now that the dressage portion was out of the way, she had the big deal - the jump. That was way more than sitting on her pony and looking cute. She had to really concentrate to make sure she got everything just right - she wanted everyone to see that she wasn't just 'the girl from TV' - there was more to her than that.

She inhaled, smiling. Porky told her to smile at the judges and be polite - he said it would go a lot further than she would ever realize. Even if she thought they made a bad call or judged her unfairly, he said to still be polite - they may only be judging this little county fair show now, but they judged other shows too. If they remembered her as a spoiled little snot who couldn't even do them the courtesy of a smile and using basic manners they may judge her more harshly at the next competition.

She glanced towards the barn door again, seeing Porky's profile still as he held the lead for 'Center of Attention' until she was ready, but she wished he was in there. If he wasn't holding the pony for her though there was a chance that he would get dirty, and after she worked so hard to get him clean and shiny she hadn't wanted to risk him getting dirt on his coat. She had done everything needed, even warming him up and walking or trotting over a few cavallettis. 'Center of Attention', when he was in the mood, was a well balanced horse and had seemed eager to perform at the time.

When, with Porky's help, she had finished grooming him though, his mood had turned surely, neighing for no reason. Or maybe to attract attention - his name fit him perfectly. If Dot so much as looked at another horse, 'Center of Attention' would whinny, as if to call her back to him and say 'look at me! I'm here! Don't pay attention to any other horse while I'm around!'.

She wished she had just risked it and had the pig in there with her. If she couldn't have Yakko in there, she would really like Porky. The pig had been one of her biggest supporters and loudest cheerleaders, stuttering out his own applause over the others while beaming in pride and telling everyone around that she was his student.

She wished someone, anyone, would come in and -

"Oh look - isn't that precious? Snotty-Dottie got herself a fancy little outfit I see."

Except him - anyone but him. She would rather see Wakko and Max instead of them. Dot sighed, knowing who it was and wishing a horse would kick him.

Hard.

_Don't look. Just ignore him. _

"Well Diego, she had to spend the extra money on the outfit."

_Ignore her too._

Dot gritted her teeth but didn't turn. If she ignored them, they might go away.

She concentrated on making sure her outfit was still clean, looking at herself in the mirror while mentally going through all she needed to check. If she stared real hard at the mirror, the images of her two tormentors blurred. She wouldn't have to look at their ugly smirking faces as they taunted her.

She hadn't been trying to be snotty - she just wanted a nice outfit for her first big show. Not really big, it wasn't a professional show, but it was important to her. Almost everyone she knew and respected was there; even Slappy and Skippy had shown up to cheer for her and watch her compete.

But while she and Molly had expensive outfits, not all the students did. This wasn't a true completion; they were all told it was about 'having fun'. Some of the students didn't have a lot of money for the expensive outfits and were only wearing jeans and shirts. Others had older outfits. Only a few of them had new hand tailored outfits.

All the instructors had told them that while the outfits were lovely and certainly anyone could wear them, it wasn't a requirement. What the judges were looking for was their ability to ride, communicate with their mount and how well they played fair. As long as they were neat and clean the judges for this competition didn't mind that half the children weren't in proper English riding outfits.

Dot glanced at Anelie's outfit; if anything, her outfit was more expensive than Dot's was. Diego's outfit was ugly, but it didn't look cheap either. Dot thought that if they were going to make fun of her for buying the best that was available, the least they could do would be to not wear outfits that cost as much, if not more, than hers and Molly's combined.

"Yeah, I guess Anelie," Diego said nastily, running a hand through his thick crème and white fur and drawing Dot's attention. Flicking his black striped tail he added, "Just so you know Snotty, just because your outfit's expensive doesn't mean that you're going to win the judges' favor."

Dot finally turned to glare at her tormentors, one of only two reasons she sometimes didn't look forward to her lessons.

Diego.

She looked the boy hard up and down, noting how the cat had chosen to go with a fad outfit for the competition. Dot had been told by Porky that while the judges were usually too busy watching the performance to really care what the riders were wearing, they usually preferred more conservative colors. Bright garish colors or stripes - like Diego's green and white patterned blazer - were generally frowned upon.

Mentally congratulating herself on her much tamer colors, Dot turned her eyes to Anelie, the second reason she sometimes didn't look forward to riding.

The ocelot had much better fashion sense than Diego, staying with a muted grey blazer and khaki breeches, but her haughty attitude and her snotty stage mother generally annoyed the judges.

Anelie's mother had already irritated them once. Her mother was so loud, condescending and shrill in the seats she had actually spooked some of the other rider's horses, including Dot's. After insulting most of the riders for taking too long and making everyone wait to see her daughter perform, the judges had enough. She was told that if she was unable to control herself, her daughter would be disqualified and they would be asked to leave. Good manners and sportsmanship were not only for the children performing, it also applied to the parents.

" - and just because you're a big time television star - "

"Shut up," Dot growled softly, cutting off Anelie. "I never tried to win because of my show - "

"Right; see you got all your big name connections here though don't you?" Diego sneered back quietly.

"They're here because they're my friends!" Dot shouted back, unclenching her fists and feeling her tail swinging so hard it was hitting the side of her legs. Looking towards the entrance to the barn she added, "They didn't come - "

"Well, when you have money you can buy the very best," Anelie put in rudely, leaning against the side of the stall near her. "Whether it's clothing or friends. So while we don't have any big time television stars to help buy us a ribbon - "

"I didn't buy it!" Dot almost screamed, stomping her foot and feeling her tail continue to swing back and forth in irritation. "I won it! You were right there!"

"Yeah, and Porky's your tutor, and he's big into these little backwoods horse shows," Diego said snidely. "Wonder how he does at the real shows? He can't make the judges give you a ribbon all the time."

"Porky didn't help me!" Dot insisted loudly, looking wildly around for any support and not seeing any. A few of the children and their trainers were in the barns, going over last minutes instructions, doing touch-ups on grooming their horses or their own outfits. Some weren't even paying attention.

Dot noticed that a few more seemed to be agreeing with Diego and Anelie. A couple were even nodding to themselves, sending her sullen looks.

"I guess he can help you win - "

"Well Diego, she didn't win," laughed Anelie, turning to see that she had an audience with half the barn paying attention. Looking like she was gaining confidence she added, "Need to pay that pig more - placed third right Snotty? I would think you could cough up the money to buy the blue ribbon - "

"You placed eighth Anelie," Dot sneered, finally turning and trying to blink back tears of frustration and embarrassment.

How could anyone think she had bought her ribbon? Even if she had, wouldn't she have bought the blue ribbon?

Yakko said that sometimes people would be jealous of her, because of what she had accomplished, but she never would have expected this. She just wanted to be treated like everyone else - was that too much to wish for?

"I earned what I got and I beat you fair and you just can't handle that - "

"Only because your stupid brother spooked my horse. I bet he helped you - "

"Don't you say anything about Yakko!" Dot snapped, clenching her fists while willing herself to stay calm.

She couldn't let these two bullies get her upset - not before her jump. But no way she was letting anyone talk about Yakko. But her anger was replacing her anxiety about the jump and disappointing everyone watching her.

No one talked bad about Yakko in front of her. Especially not this spoiled, vain, stupid, rich little…bitch. She got even madder then because she was swearing and she rarely swore - Yakko didn't like it so she tried not to do it.

In this case it couldn't be helped.

"Don't you even dare mention his name!"

And Yakko hadn't spooked her horse but he had managed to attract a lot of attention. When she had been in the center of the ring, going through the walk, trot and canter for the judges, Yakko had been leaning over the railing of the ring, trying to get the best angle for a picture; he had almost fallen in and had to be rescued by a very amused Bugs and Slappy.

Dot had been a bit embarrassed about it - after all, even Anelie's mother hadn't done that and her mother was a loudmouth and was busy running around trying to videotape the entire show with her daughter. She was so loud she had actually spooked several of the horses by yelling at the other riders for getting in her line of sight so she couldn't see her daughter.

Dot eyed her feline tormentors. Both were bigger than her, Diego by a few inches, Anelie by almost a head. She debated on kicking the both of them but stopped short; not only might she get dirty in any ensuing scuffle, she might be disqualified for fighting even if it was just in the stables.

Where was Yakko? He was just supposed to be going to get a drink for them.

She'd take anyone - Mrs. Cunningham, Foghorn, Bugs, Jeeves…She'd take Wakko and Max right now -

No she wouldn't; they had been mean to her all morning. Wakko had been cranky all week because he had to come. If Wakko was cranky, Max was almost livid. The whole day they had been complaining about how boring the whole thing was. Wakko had finally shut up when Yakko told him he was going to confine him to the tower for the rest of his life if he didn't stop upsetting her.

She had no such luck with Max - he was smart enough to taunt her when none of the adults were within earshot.

Why had she wanted everyone to come? Maybe these two were right; if everyone thought she bought her ribbon than no one would think she could do anything except be the screaming cute one and the younger sister of two vastly more popular brothers…

"I'm not saying anything bad about him," Anelie answered while looking down at her claws which were partially unsheathed. "I mean he's got some talent while you're…nothing. A waste that drags down an already mediocre show. Just a face in the background he has to lug around and take care of."

Dot inhaled sharply, willing herself not to cry. Yakko wasn't like that - Yakko didn't lug her around or think she was a waste and had no talent. She refused to even entertain the thought. Yakko wouldn't have taken two rolls of film of her if he thought it was a waste.

" - and it's not his fault he ended up with you as a sister - "

" - but I did, and I couldn't be happier about it."

Dot started at the voice before grinning smugly at Anelie, who looked flustered at the interruption. Diego was suspiciously looking over his shoulder before looking up, his eyes going wide as he saw who was staring down at them.

At last. Dot had been afraid he had gotten lost getting her a drink. But he was back now and they were gonna pay…

She hoped -

No. She had never doubted Yakko's love for her before; she wasn't going to start now. To even think that would be insulting to Yakko and would cheapen it by even acknowledging what they had said. She knew they were just trying to get her upset before she performed…she hated to say it was working.

But Yakko was here now; he would help. He probably wouldn't hit them - they were smaller than he was, but she hoped he at least chased them off.

Looming over all of them, Yakko looked down at Anelie and Diego, one eyebrow raised and a slight look of disgust on his face like he had just bitten into a sour apple.

"Didn't know there was a competition for being the cattiest competitor," Yakko drawled, still regarding the two felines like he usually looked at a large pile of filthy dishes he was going to have to scrub. When Diego went to speak Yakko added, "Isn't there a great big ball of yarn for you to chase or a sandbox for you to get buried in…preferably very deep?"

Dot snickered at the looks on the other two children's faces, surprise and trepidation mingling with fear and annoyance as they warily eyed Yakko. Dot waited with bated breath to see what Yakko would do next; he was always full of surprises.

Yakko's appearance and loud drawling comments had gotten everyone's attention in the barn though; a few openly watched while others appeared to go back to what they were doing but gave the air of being extremely curious and continued to look over their shoulders.

Yakko continued to look down at the two for a moment before stepping forward suddenly, waving his hands at them while yelling, "Scat!"

Both children, their looks changing from startled to terrified, bolted, Diego stumbling to the dirt floor. He staggered to his feet and looked at his breeches for a moment, his lower lip trembling slightly before running after Anelie who had already disappeared out the side entrance to the barn.

Dot put her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She knew Yakko would come back and help her - she just knew it. And he sure wouldn't have done that if he thought she was a waste and talentless.

"Just remember Snotty," Diego called over his shoulder before he disappeared out into the bright sunlight, his yells making everyone look up again. "No directors here - you don't get to redo when you mess up like we know you will! All your fancy clothes and big money won't buy you any talent!"

With that he was out the door, hopping on one foot as he tried to brush the smeared dirt off his breeches. Dot wished he had fallen in one of the gigantic piles of horse poop that were around the stable.

"Rotten little pains in the asses," Yakko muttered nastily, holding his fist to his mouth momentarily and causing Dot to giggle in anxious relief now that he had returned. Turning, he bent down, putting both hands on her shoulders for a moment before reaching over, straightening her pin. "You look perfect - "

"Yeah, may look OK," Dot muttered, nervousness about her upcoming jump setting in now that the other two had been chased off. Feeling her anger fading she added, "But he's right."

"I didn't hear them say one thing correctly," Yakko interrupted. "Except that there's no directors here. Not that you need them - you know what to do out there." Still looking into her face he added, "You were great - I still say you should have won first prize! You looked so professional and poised, and you were the perfect little lady even when your horse was starting to act up, not losing your cool. I can't tell you how proud I am."

Anxiously looking at the doorway again Dot hoarsely whispered, "Yakko, everyone thinks I just paid to win a ribbon because of who we are and who we know!" Turning wide petrified eyes to him she hissed, "I didn't! I didn't ask anyone to help me or buy me one! And I tried really hard! I didn't ask Porky to talk to the judges and give me a ribbon or anything!"

"Dot, everyone knows that," Yakko said, regarding her as he quietly talked. "Everyone that matters anyway; don't let a couple of spoiled brats ruin your good time - "

"But Yakko - "

"Porky's one of the straightest arrows I've ever met, and I think everyone thinks the same thing about him. He'd be horribly insulted if he ever even heard a rumor that he helped fix a competition for you to win. Not that you winning or not is important - "

Only half listening to him, Dot sniffed miserably and wiped her nose on her glove. Her lower lip trembling she whispered, "Even if I win anything now, no matter what I do, everyone here is gonna think I'm cheating and buying what I want."

Not saying anything at first, Yakko reached into his Hammerspace and pulled out her ribbon. Holding it up he reached out with his free hand, gently stroking her ear and said, "You can't buy these honey - not for real. You earn them."

"No one else knows that," Dot sniffed, feeling tired despite her nervousness. She wished the other two children hadn't bothered her; before she had been excited but nervous. Now she was filled with dread and nausea. "Everyone just thinks I'm some stupid spoiled show kid because I went and got an outfit- "

"Dot, you're not the only one that got a riding outfit. I've seen a lot of kids here wearing them and thankfully you're not running around telling everyone how much you paid for it. And let me tell you, no one wears this little getup as well as you do - "

"It doesn't matter," Dot pointed out, getting more upset as she thought. "Everyone just sees me as the little kid who's got a lot of money and no talent and didn't even really get a ribbon - "

"Not everyone," Yakko pulling her to him and holding her. "Not even most people. You won a ribbon, and I'm really really proud of you - everyone is - but that's not even the real reason you're here, is it?"

Dot looked at him, shrugging.

No, she wasn't there just to get a ribbon. It helped a lot that she did, or she thought it did. What was the purpose of being there if she didn't win something? Everyone came to see her win; if she wasn't winning she might as well just leave…right?

She was having fun - or had been having fun - just being around the show environment, being with her friends and other horse lovers. She liked the atmosphere, she liked watching the older students perform so she could get hints and tips and see what she herself might be able to do one day.

Dot had been delighted that everyone who said they were going to show up did show up. She had really been expecting Foghorn and Jeeves and maybe even Bugs to say they were busy or they forgot even though she had reminded them a couple of times.

Thinking about it, she was probably more happy everyone came to watch her rather than winning the ribbon. She was happier that she had won something and they saw though.

"Everyone, whether competing or just watching, is here first to just…be around the event, or support the ones who are competing. Trust me, no one here for you cares if you come in first or last; we just want to see you, doing something you love and having a good time."

"But everyone else - "

"Everyone else is the same way. You're supposed to be here mostly to have a good time right? The people who came here for the right reasons…they know why you're here, and those are the ones who count. Everyone here knows that no matter how much money you wave around or who you know, you can't just decide what ribbon you want and buy it. You earn it or it doesn't count. It's like getting your mallet - remember that?"

Dot nodded; she had been so proud the day Yakko had presented that to her. She would never forget that day.

"It's sort of like that. You have to earn it or it just doesn't count. What good would me giving you a mallet have been if you couldn't put it in your Hammerspace or Fritz the pie? Same thing here; you can pay for the ribbon and hang it on your wall and yeah, it'll look pretty but you won't have any feeling of accomplishment. And isn't that what most of this is - accomplishing some goal you set out to do, and having fun while doing it? More so than who got the most expensive outfit or who won the right ribbon."

Dot settled back in his arms, feeling some of her worry drain away as he spoke. She nodded though; she was just there to have a good time. Yakko was right; there was no sense in letting one or two people make her leave.

"And while there's one or two people here who are probably whispering nasty things about 'Dot Warner from Animaniacs' and all her family and friends, most of the ones here are barely noticing that about you. They're noticing that you're a good sport, you aren't throwing a fit because you didn't win first like some of the other kids, and that you play fair and don't go around trying to distract the other riders and being mean. And that's gonna count for a lot more in the end than who won what ribbon."

"You think?"

Leaning over so his bright red nose was touching hers he said, "I know. Those are the things that really count, not who's going home with what color ribbon. And you know what they all should definitely have noticed, more than anything else?"

Dot giggled; Yakko was gonna come up with something silly. He always did, and it always made her feel better.

"They definitely should have noticed that not only are you a great rider; you're the cutest girl on the whole damn property."

With that Yakko stood, picking her up as she squealed and carrying her towards the large barn door.

"Come on - you're next. Show me this great beast my itty-bitty sister is gonna ride to victory."

XXXXXXXXXX

"C-C-Come along D-Dorothy, y-you're next."

"Just Dot Porky," Dot said, clutching the reins as Porky began to lead 'Center of Attention' to the ring.

Anxiously, she turned slightly in the saddle, seeing Yakko, Bugs, and Slappy leaning on the railing surrounding the ring and waving at her. Wakko and Max were there, Foghorn and Jeeves towering over the two boys as they waved, giving her a thumbs up. Skippy, sitting on the railing, waved and blew her a kiss.

Wakko and Max shared a disgusted look before looking back at her. After a moment Wakko gave a somewhat enthusiastic wave while Max just held his hand to his forehead before giving a small wave of his hand.

She swallowed hard, not able to uncurl her nervous fingers from around the reins enough to wave back. If she messed this up, everyone that was important was going to see. Everyone was going to laugh at her -

No, Yakko told her not to think like that. He said she was doing great and was going to continue to do great. Porky said she was doing fantastic and was delighted he could claim her as his student - he couldn't be more proud of her.

She was happy he was there; she took almost as much comfort from Porky's presence as she did in Yakko's. Porky had volunteered to be her groom for the show since she didn't have anyone else. Molly was going to be her groom and she would do the same for her, but with both of them competing, Ms. Cunningham had worried if each of them would have enough time to focus on their own tasks. Porky had chimed in and said he had already claimed the groom position for Dot. With that said, Ms. Cunningham had decided to do the same for Molly.

Dot turned her head in the other direction, seeing Ms. Cunningham beaming at her from the side paddock where the other performers and their parents were watching, Molly still astride her own mount 'Full of Spirit'. Molly caught her eye and began screaming 'good luck' so loudly that several of the horses spooked and her mother began to hush her.

Giving them both a weak smile, Dot turned back to Porky as he spoke.

"Y-Y-You're not just D-Dot, not today," he said, reaching over to give her hand a gentle squeeze as they waited for the previous performer to exit the ring and her name to be announced. "T-T-Today y-you're D-Dorothy, at least in the ring."

Dot nodded, deciding not to be annoyed about the use of her full name. The announcers didn't like using nicknames, as they were considered unprofessional. Everything had her full name on it.

She pushed it from her mind; she had other things to be worried about.

Diego and Anelie, along with her mother and all their friends were watching her, shouting catcalls while some of the others smirked at her evilly. Some of the other people in the audience weren't even watching her. And 'Center of Attention' was anxiously pawing the ground, kicking up clods of dirt and sawdust that was coating the ring.

Entering the ring and waiting, nerves taut, Dot almost jumped out of the saddle as the announcer's voice rang through the area, surprising her.

"And now, for the final performance in the novice class, Dorothy Warner riding 'Center of Attention', owned by Dar-Shan Stables."

_Oh no…I don't want to do this!_

"G-Good luck," Porky muttered, reaching up to put his warm pink hands over her own stiff ones briefly before taking the lead rope from 'Center of Attention's' bridle. "I-I'll be w-w-w…right over there," he finished, pointing towards Yakko and the others. "Have fun, remember to s-s-stay c-c-confident."

With that he walked off and Dot stiffly sat in the saddle, wanting to tell him she wanted to leave, she didn't want to do this anymore and she was scared and just wanted to go home but she couldn't form the words in her dry mouth. She couldn't even get her lips to move; they were frozen in a wide fake smile on her face, her teeth clenched.

She looked around nervously, feeling herself start to shrink in the saddle.

She was alone out there, in the ring near the judges who were watching her sit like a dummy while hundreds of pairs of eyes were drawn to her figure sitting on the high-strung horse.

She gulped, telling herself to calm down. She could do this - she had done it at the stables before…but not with so many people watching.

_It's no different than being on set, _she mentally scolded herself, gripping the reins so tight she felt the tips of her fingers digging into her palms through her gloves. _You memorized what you're supposed to do…so do it._

Dot glanced around again, noticing that Anelie and Diego and all their nasty little friends were still watching, laughing and talking to each other. Wakko and Max were talking to each other, both boys being tapped on the head by Jeeves before he pointed back towards her.

Yakko was playing with his camera; if she watched she could almost see his lens zooming in and out on her. Slappy was nodding while trying to use her own point and shoot with one hand while still gripping Skippy with the other. Porky was grinning broadly at her, leaning up on the fence and looking like he was anticipating her performance. Kit was leaning on the railing, talking to Molly and Ms. Cunningham. Dot wasn't sure what he said, but Ms. Cunningham narrowed her eyes at him and smacked him on the back of the head.

When she turned, Kit flicked someone off; when Dot craned her head around to see who was the victim of the bear's insult, she saw the rude reporter from before. He glared at Kit before quickly snapping a picture of Kit misbehaving. Dot hoped he didn't get in trouble for it. She wished she could do it herself.

Swallowing, Dot turned, almost feeling the crowd growing bored with her. If she was going to do it, she needed to do it. She had never felt awkward or shy performing before; she hadn't even been this bad during the dressage performance.

Yakko had told her for a long time, he had what was known as 'stage fright', where he would almost freeze before stuttering out a line, shaking badly and sweating when first starting out performing years ago. She was pretty sure she had it now; she could feel her gloves getting damp and beginning to cling to her hands.

And where her collar had been simply snug against her throat before, now it felt uncomfortably tight, almost like it was restricting her ability to breathe.

What if something got missed? A loose girth? Or if the bridle hadn't been put together correctly - what if the throat latch came unhooked? Were her stirrups adjusted correctly from dressage to jumping?

She started fretting, a thousand disasters springing into her mind even as she told herself to relax; if she got nervous or upset, she would unconsciously transfer that mindset to 'Center of Attention', upsetting him. She didn't want the horse distressed; not only would he not perform as well or listen to her instructions, she honestly didn't want the horse upset. For all his whiny personality, she liked him.

Taking a few last seconds to attempt to steady her nerves, she eyed the course in front of her, trying to ignore the talking of the crowd and the occasional flash bulb that went off as someone shouted her name or yelled they loved or hated her show.

Today, she wasn't 'the Warner sister'; today she was just Dorothy Warner, competing in her first show with everyone she knew and cared about watching.

It was a basic obstacle course, nothing fancy like the older children had been performing in. She was too small and unskilled and untrained to jump the higher fences; instead her course was simply four small hurdles, the first two hurdles to the left. After jumping them, she would do a couple of light turns before arriving at the far side of the ring to jump the second two hurdles. After that a few simple turns and she would return to her starting position near the judges' stand.

She was working herself up for nothing. She glanced down at 'Center of Attention', who was nickering softly while his ears were perked forward in anticipation and interest before restlessly pawing at the ground and biting at his bit.

Dot hardly paid him any attention. They could do this. She could do this. She released her breath, hardly aware she had been holding it.

The hurdles were no higher than anything she had jumped before. They were simple gleaming white cross rails, their paint chipped here and there from getting knocked by hooves or falling to the ground. The edges were decorated in some hedging to make them look classy.

She sat, shoulders back and down; her shoulders were in alignment with her hips and heels. The weight of her body was falling on her heels; she could feel that her heels were lower than the bar of the stirrup. She looked down at her hands, positioned over 'Center of Attention's' withers. She had perfect form. She was ready; she was in the correct mind set she believed. If she didn't get going she would start to lose points for stalling or be disqualified all together.

_One more breath…go!_

With that in her mind, she pushed her heels into 'Center of Attention's' flanks while directing him with the reins, giving him instructions on which way to go and felt all her nervousness disappear as he began to go from a slow walk to a canter.

She urged him on to a trot; he had to stay in a trot to be able to clear the first hurdle.

Dot concentrated fully on the event - nothing else mattered right now. Not stupid Diego or snotty Anelie. Not Porky or Yakko or who had the best outfit or the highest placing ribbon.

Yakko was right - she was here to have fun. That's why she came. And this - flying around the ring on the back of a strong pony, everyone paying attention to her because of what she could do and not because of her name - this was why she was here.

And yet…if she did well - she might win. Then she could have real congratulations from everyone for excelling, for being the best of the kids there today. If Yakko and Porky had been proud of her before, they would be even prouder of that, and she liked pleasing them, making them happy because she not only did her best, she surpassed everyone else in the class at it.

As they circled and rose to the canter, Dot mentally counted with 'Center of Attention's' stride as they neared the first jump, raising herself in the two point position she had been practicing for what felt like forever. She stood in the stirrups, her heels jammed downwards and leaning forward.

Louise, Porky, everyone told her to never, ever look down when jumping. It looked sloppy and worst case she could lose her balance, causing her to fall.

Dot felt 'Center of Attention' start to slow to a walk and she urged him forward, trying not to curse mentally at the stubborn pony. After a few moments of balking, she felt him shudder and begin to pick up his pace again and she tried to shake off her nervousness. It was still there, but she was pretty sure that 'Center of Attention' hadn't picked up on it.

She hoped.

_One, two, three…_

Still in the two point position, Dot moved her hands forward slightly on 'Center of Attention's' neck, already preparing for the landing.

As she felt 'Center of Attention' go over the first hurdle, she was mentally screaming - hoping she was doing it correctly, congratulating herself for going through with it, delighted that everyone - family, friend, or bitter enemy - was watching.

_No way they can say I bought my ribbon now!_

'Center of Attention' landed, and Dot instantly slackened some on the reins, giving him his head as his hooves touched the ground. She frowned, feeling him begin to slow and again urged him on - he had to keep moving to prepare for the second hurdle.

She bent over his neck like she was supposed to, her gaze locked on the hurdle. She could almost taste the blue ribbon this time.

XXXXXXXXXX

_There she goes - Yes! Hell yes! That's my little sister out there wowing the crowd!_

Beaming like an idiot, Yakko stood on his toes to better watch Dot, continuing to zoom in on her to get the best shots. Like Foghorn said, she only had her first show once; he didn't want to miss a single photo opportunity.

Raising his ears, he could hear the horse's hooves thundering around the ring over the din of the crowd and the others cheering or applauding. Even Wakko and Max seemed to have gotten into it somewhat more enthusiastically than they had been. At least they were half paying attention in-between whispering and laughing with each other and looking around

He shrugged; as long as they weren't bothering Dot, Yakko didn't much care what they were doing. They had to be there; they didn't have to be happy about it. As long as their little butts were at the ring and making an attempt to look like they were interested, he was content to ignore them.

He briefly caught a glimpse of the two little brats he had run into in the stable, surrounded by a small group of family and friends and frowned. He couldn't hit two children - they were smaller than him - but damned if he hadn't wanted to just kick their asses out of the stable.

Luckily, his presence and a few comments, along with a fake lunge had gotten them out of the way so he could calm down his anxious sister, but he hadn't been that seriously annoyed in a while. At least the other two children hadn't known his lunge was just show; it was the same one he frequently used on Wakko and his friends to chase them off. But even they could tell Dot was doing well, that much was obvious - the whole group was watching her bitterly, whispering to each other.

He also saw a few photographers and reporters hanging around, snapping pictures. Happily, not every single one of them seemed to be focused on Dot. Yakko knew several of them were from different publications or newspapers there to cover a local interest story, and he was well aware that Dot had been uncomfortable with the additional publicity.

She rarely got upset or shy near the camera and reporters, but with her nervousness about the show, not to mention the way one of the reporters had tried to pick on her he couldn't blame her. He felt a bit of gratitude towards the others though for managing to get rid of them and for being there for Dot on her special day.

He pushed them all out of his mind. Dot was coming up on her second jump.

Standing higher to get a better angle, he watched as the pony, muscles taunt under his shiny chestnut coat, ran towards the hurdle…or cantered or lopped or whatever it was they did. Dot tried to explain it to him several times, but the different gaits simply confused him. As long as she knew what she was doing, it was good enough for him.

Zooming in, he mentally hoped the animal never stepped on her; the damn things were strong. He shivered slightly, ignoring the animal's massive size and strength. He could see Dot's face, her expression grim and determined as she guided the animal over the hurdle, briefly turn excited as the horse landed gracefully.

_Did it again!_

Yelling as he continued snapping as many pictures as he could, he watched as horse and rider, moving gracefully, continued on to the next set of jumps, almost pausing as Dot gave a hard yank to the reins when the animal tried to prance to the left.

He didn't worry though, not much. He wasn't scared of horses, but he always had a little niggling worry in the back of his mind of his sister on one. She was so tiny and whether it was a pony or not the animal was still huge compared to her.

But she seemed to have the situation well in hand. Porky was saying something about how the horse was acting up but Dot was doing good at handling herself.

Yakko agreed; he had been to all her previous little show, the ones right at the stable that basically just had the children walking or trotting their animals. He had gone to every single one, marveling at his sister's ability to control the animal.

Those shows had not been much he knew, basically a trial run for the children and a chance for the parents to take pictures and to see where some of the money they spent was going to. This though; this was different.

Dot looked adorable in her full riding regalia, and other than a case of pre-show jitters seemed to be having the time of her life. His heart was almost bursting in pride - sister or not, he thought she was the best of the kids out there, and not only for her riding ability. He had overheard a lot of the children whining about outfits, or the fact they had gotten sixth when they thought they should have won or how someone wasn't as good as they were…

Porky had told him it was a testament to not only Dot and her personality but to Yakko as well. He had done an excellent job showing her that it didn't matter if she won or lost and that she knew the value of behaving properly and good sportsman like conduct. Porky had also told him that would take Dot far in life, whether she continued to ride professionally or went on to other sports and interests. No one liked a whiner or dealing with a high maintenance personality.

Yakko quickly forgot about that though; Dot and her horse were approaching the third jump on the far side of the ring.

Her performance was half over, but he wished it could go on forever. He had never been more proud of her.

Squinting, he moved, feeling Bugs beside him. The rabbit had been overly charming to Dot, sending her a bouquet of flowers to the tower earlier in the week to wish her luck and telling her how much he was looking forward to her perform. Dot had been so charmed she had been blushing and giggling while running around the tower humming and preening.

Now Bugs was yelling, snapping a few pictures with his own camera, cheering Dot on to her victory while telling Yakko they could all trade the pictures later so everyone had the best copies.

Yakko didn't even respond as he moved the lens on his camera. He had Dot in his sites as she came to the third hurdle.

She was -

Yakko blinked, momentarily confused. Something was wrong -

The pony balked, coming to a screeching halt at the little hurdle so violently that its ass almost touched the ground.

But Dot…

Yakko, watching Dot's face in the viewer, hardly seemed to notice as she leaned over the pony's neck at first. Then, her expression changed from determined to terrified, her eyes and mouth forming perfect little 'o's'.

Still watching, stiffened in surprise but an icy terror already clutching his heart, he barely noticed as the crowd around him went silent as he watched her. In slow motion he saw her continue to fall forward, the prior momentum of the horse carrying her forward over the beast's neck and down.

He could barley hear a sickening 'thud' sound as her leg hit the hurdle, the cross rails coming loose and crashing to the ground. He felt his stomach lurch and his heart begin beating painfully fast as Dot hit the dirt, her head pounding the ground hard several times before all movement ceased.

_Terror through the telephoto lens…_

Yakko couldn't move.

Dot wasn't stirring - no sign of life even as the pony bowed its head to her momentarily, sniffing and nickering quietly. Then it looked around, apparently seeing the shocked crowd and began getting edgy and shying away, cantering towards the right side of the ring, the reins over its neck and almost dragging on the ground.

_Dot…get up…cry, scream…do something to let me know you're alive…_

Spurned into action by her lack of movement, Yakko dropped his camera to the dirt, barely thinking about it as he started towards the fence. Dimly, like he was hearing it through a thick wall he could hear the crowd starting to stir, a few gasps or shouting or something…he couldn't make it out and he didn't care.

He had to get out there...

"Yakko! Wait - "

Yakko barely heard Bugs yelling for him to stop, but he mentally told the rabbit to get lost as he started climbing through the openings in the rough hewn fence, snagging his shirt in the process.

Dot was hurt. Dot could be dead. Why wasn't anyone doing anything except staring at her? What was he supposed to do, just let her lay in the dirt like a broken toy? Why was Bugs trying to stop him? Didn't he care?

"Hold on doc!" Bugs said gently, grasping Yakko's arms and pulling him down. "Let the emergency pe - "

Yakko felt himself pulled down off the fence and felt fury overtake his fear momentarily. He couldn't be expected to be reasonable, not at a time like this and he'd be damned if he was letting the rabbit get in the way of him getting to his little Dot.

So, he decided not to. Nothing - not Bugs or Porky or the damned security people - were going to keep him away from her.

He looked down, seeing Bugs' hands gripping his upper arms, not tight enough to cause him any pain, but not loose enough to shake him off either no matter how hard he fidgeted or tried to fling the rabbit loose. Bugs was telling him something - calm down or some nonsense as he gently began to pull him away from the fence - let the professional people get in there because she couldn't be moved…

Yakko leaned down, twisting his neck painfully but clamped his teeth onto Bugs' right hand, hearing the rabbit scream 'ye-ow!' but letting him go.

He heard Bugs start swearing quietly under his breath before yelling for him to come back but Yakko ignored him, scrambling through the fence.

Through it and already in the ring, Yakko felt his feet sinking in the soft, turned up dirt and sawdust as he ran towards Dot, so nervous and upset he couldn't even Toonspeed. When he tried he felt nothing, a cold empty hollow feeling and he pushed it off; nerves and fright would account for his losing his ability.

His chest straining tightly as he ran, he saw Dot weakly starting to struggle, making at least an attempt to sit up and he mentally relaxed as he continued his run. If she was struggling she was alive.

Why had he let her do this? Horse riding accidents happened - even to people who were a lot older and knew what they were doing. Look at Christopher Reeves - he was an excellent horseman and was Superman for Christ sake - and he was doing everything correctly and he still got hurt.

Yakko raised his ears; Dot was making a strange noise he could barely make out, a weak mewling sound of pain. She was alive, but hurt. He pulled out an extra burst of energy he didn't know he had in him as he got near her, noticing out of the corner of his eye that a small open topped vehicle had driven up with two men in it. They were waiting at the ring gate while other people began running to open it.

He darkly glanced at them, hoping they were paramedics.

Falling to the ground beside her and kicking up the soft dark brown dirt he grasped her. He started to pick her up, to clutch her to his chest before going to find a doctor and demanding he fix her but as he began to lift her, he heard her cry out.

Shocked at the sound, a loud mix of pain and fear he instantly let her go. When she looked up at him, her hat askew, clothing dirty and hair mussed he felt his heart jump, emotions like fear, aggravation with himself and anxiety swirling around in his body and he struggled not to cry.

_She just had to be OK…_

"Yakko!" Dot gasped before starting to sob. "Help me up!"

_What had he read…in an accident…don't move someone…_

"Yakkkkkooooooo!" Dot sobbed again, sounding angry and frightened and reaching up to cling to him, moving her arms painfully as her chest bobbed up and down. "It hurts!"

He struggled to remember, angry that his brain wasn't functioning as sharply as it normally did while she cried and howled in pain.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair, anxious, confused, frustrated, angry…he was supposed to be the big brother - the protector, the comforter, the one that always knew what to do - but he was acting like he was an infant. He had to help her first - he could give over to emotions and feelings like tears and babbling insanity later, when she was safe.

He looked down at her, hearing flash bulbs going off behind him, the steady hum of people talking, laughing, crying, gasping as cameras continued to click and whirl as they shot pictures of the two of them in the ring.

Yakko ignored them. That didn't matter. He leaned over as much as he could without touching her, using his body to try to shield her from most of the photographers while wishing he had the time to go out there and break every damn one of them.

She was an actress true, but today she was a little girl scared and in pain and crying. Why would anyone want a picture of that?

"Honey, honey, calm down," Yakko said quickly, putting his hands on her forehead, mostly just so he could touch her and reassure himself she was alive and awake and at least making noises even if she was hurt and in pain.

Frightened, he smoothed down her face fur, wiping away some of her tears and seeing them replaced as rapidly as he removed them, the streaks leaving clear white tracks on her white fur. What was he supposed to do? What could he do?

"It hurts!" she screamed, her painful wracking sobs making the words almost unintelligible.

"What?" Grasping her shoulders lightly as he saw a few shadows blot out the sun over him he struggled to keep his own panic down. Panicking would upset her further and help was here if what the men behind were saying was any indication.

"Come on Dot - what hurts?"

" - and everyone saw that!"

_Oh who cares…_

Yakko frowned, not caring what everyone did or didn't see. Dot was in pain, he could see it on her face, but her eyes had a weird depthless look to them. Shock? Embarrassment? He couldn't decide.

But if she wasn't hurt, she would have stood up by now. He'd be able to hold her, squeeze her and not ever let her go so nothing would ever hurt her again, especially that walking glue stick that let her fall -

"Come on sir, step aside - "

"Fuck off," Yakko growled at a man who came up beside him as he held Dot's hand, feeling her fingers digging so deeply into his flesh he was starting to lose feeling in a couple of fingers.

"My leg!" Dot gasped, struggling to reach her leg which was propped at an unsightly angle on the fallen cross rail. "And my chest! Yakko help me up I don't wanna - "

"Sir…Mister Warner, if you'll please just - "

"Get lost buddy," Yakko snapped. "You don't want to see what happens when a toon goes berserk with a mallet on a human - "

"Yakko, please help me up - "

"We need him moved, now - "

He barely turned to look at him, but caught enough of a glimpse in his peripheral vision to see the man, a human, wearing a dark blue jumpsuit with a stethoscope dangling around his neck. Behind him was another man in the same outfit, holding several items and looking anxious to get moving.

"I got him mac."

Yakko roughly shook someone off who grabbed his shoulder. Whoever it was grabbed his shoulder again and started to forcefully pull him backwards, and Yakko yelled in anger, especially when he felt Dot's fingers slipping through his before she was cut off from his sight as the paramedics swarmed on her.

He turned, intending to put his fist into someone's stomach but felt his arms pinned to his side as someone taller leaned down, half engulfing him.

"Calm down doc - "

_Bugs. Damn nosy rabbit - _

"Bugs let me go or - "

"No Yakko - no, just calm down," Bugs said soothingly while pulling him backwards a few feet. "We're not leaving; we just gotta get out of the way. Let them do their job…"

Yakko stopped struggling as much when Bugs let go of one of his arms and roughly forced his chin up to look.

Two men were hovering around Dot, talking to her and each other as they ran their hands down her body, asking her questions while issuing orders and giving information through small microphones pinned to the shoulders of their jumpsuits.

Dot was sobbing wildly, the sobs being broken up by coughing as she got more upset. He could see her arms straining to reach past the paramedics to him, her fingers pointed outwards and beckoning him to come to her.

Yakko looked around, his ears raised in fright and an overwhelming sense of panic. These people - even the ones he considered friends were trying to take him from Dot when she needed him and was being overwhelmed by strangers and all these people in the stands taking pictures.

Porky and Louise were both in the ring to his right, talking and gesturing, telling him to calm down. Or so he thought; he could barely hear. All he heard was Dot's cries and sobs as she screamed for him over a dull rushing sound that was reverberating in his ears.

Security was stopping several people, including the photographers and the one reporter that had been giving Dot hell earlier from entering the ring. Some of them were even trying to climb the rails to get better angles for shots.

"Just stop doc; we have to let them check her out, get her to the hospital - "

"I want - "

"I don't care what you want - I want you to calm down!" Bugs said, roughly shaking him. "Seeing you going nuts isn't going to help her and I'm not letting you go until you promise to calm down and listen!"

Yakko went to speak again, to tell Bugs to let him go or he was going to do…something…

He had no idea what, but it was going to be a hell of a lot worse than hiding his sunglasses or drinking his coffee. Yakko was about to say it too until the rabbit spoke again, turning him around so he was facing him.

"Remember what you kept trying to tell me when we were camping? Accept help? Listen to the ones that know what they're talking about and let them take charge?" Letting go of one of Yakko's arms and pointing to the men working over Dot he said, "They're the professionals_,_ or you been studying medical texts on the side? Do you want her to be messed up for life because you couldn't wait five minutes to let them do their job? Are you a doctor…doc?"

Yakko stiffened for a second before falling limp. If it wasn't for Bugs still gripping his arm he would have slumped back down to the dirt. Bugs was right - he couldn't help her - he should just stay out of the way -

"Good boy. Come on Yakko," Bugs ordered, his own worry being reflected in his eyes as well as his voice. "We'll be going in the ambulance - "

_Ambulance?_

Yakko groaned to himself…she needed an ambulance…this was bad…

"I thought we should stay out of the - "

"Not that much out of the way," Bugs explained, putting his arm around Yakko's shoulders and giving him a tight squeeze. "Dot's gonna need you there; she's terrified. We can ride and stay with her as soon as they get her stabilized."

"All right," Yakko sighed wearily. "All right…wait…Wakko?"

_Damn it. You moron…one sibling hurt, now you lost the other one - what sort of guardian are you?_

"He's fine doc, he's fine," Bugs reassured him. "Foghorn stopped him from running in the ring; he's with him now, see?"

Yakko looked where Bugs was pointing. Foghorn was restraining Wakko, holding him to his massive chest with both arms. Wakko had the wild petrified look of a confined animal on his face and seemed to be yelling at Foghorn while he continued to struggle, catching the rooster several times in his stomach.

Slappy was holding Skippy with one arm while waving her umbrella at several people who looked frightened. If Yakko raised his ears he could just make out the old squirrel describing in incredible detail exactly what happens when one has a bomb shoved up their ass and it happens to explode. After the description, many actually backed off.

Beside them, Jeeves had a concerned look on his face as he gripped Max's shoulders; even the boy looked upset and confused, like he couldn't believe what was happening in front of him.

Yakko couldn't blame him. He couldn't believe what he just witnessed himself.

He briefly thought about starting to drink. If he lived to be eighty he would never be able to drink this vision away, of Dot flying over the pony's neck to certain doom. He remembered reading 'Gone With the Wind' for that witch Flameil's class. Near the end of the book, the little girl Bonnie had been doing the same sort of thing, just jumping her little pony and she had tumbled off the animal and broken her neck.

Yakko also remembered that Rhett Butler, in his grief and rage, had shot the pony. He knew exactly how that character felt now and was debating on doing it himself. He glared angrily at the animal who was being led off by one of the other trainers.

Looking past the pony, he could see Foghorn holding Wakko still and nodded at the rooster before dismissing them from his mind. Foghorn would make sure Wakko didn't get lost or hurt or taken by TIS when he wasn't looking. He could fully concentrate on Dot who needed him more right now.

"Everything's gonna be all right Yakko," Bugs said, still trying to reassure him. "Look, they're putting her on the stretcher - "

_Stretcher?_

Yakko looked, tasting the sharp sting of bile in his mouth.

Dot, already tiny, looked dwarfed by the huge white stretcher that she was on. Her helmet still on, she had a large hard white collar around her neck, held on with Velcro straps. If he squinted, he could see she was lying on a hard board. And she had a big air filled plastic cushion around her right leg.

She was fully immobilized…and they wouldn't do that, totally strap her down unless she was injured…hurt severely…dying…

Yakko jumped when he heard a loud chirp and spun, wondering what new horror the day was going to bring him.

The ambulance was slowly driving into the ring, unsettling most of the horses in the area. He could hear them whinnying and see a few of them pawing at the ground in agitation as they skittered around the paddock, a few riders or owners trying to calm them with carrots and kind words.

"Hey man," Kit said breathlessly as he panted, coming up beside Yakko and Bugs. "She going to Good Samaritan?"

Yakko looked up at him, noting that the bear seemed more wound up than normal before nodding. It was the only hospital around with a toon ward; every crisis they had they always went to Good Samaritan.

"You OK?" Kit asked, putting his hand on Yakko's shoulder. "Seriously, I'm here for you. What do ya want me to do to help?"

"Nothing…it's OK - "

"Mister Warner, Mister Bugs, we've got her ready."

Yakko turned dull eyes to one of the paramedics. Another one of the humans that was driving the ambulance. Beside him was a police officer.

The officer looked at him, nodded once before asking the ambulance crew, "You guys need any help? Traffic blocked, escort?"

"Nah," the paramedic answered, waving him off. "Simple transport, non emergency, basic life support, - "

"Simple?" Yakko growled softly, spinning from Kit and stepping forward, advancing on the paramedic. "Simple? She's dieing and you just dismiss - "

"Relax Yakko," Bugs said, gripping his shoulder again. "She's not dieing; he just means they aren't going to be racing to the hospital with lights and sirens - "

"But she's - "

Yakko felt his frustration mounting when Bugs cut him off.

"Calming down…a little," Bugs said, pointing back to the stretcher which two other rescue personnel were lifting gently. "The lights and sirens would just upset and scare her further right now. But look, they've stabilized her and you know she's gonna want you. Come on, let's get into the ambulance, see what the plan is."

Putting his fist to his mouth momentarily, Yakko nodded. He disliked the situation getting out of his hands, but Dot did need him calm, not a screaming emotional wreck. Bugs was helping, doing what he normally did in an out of control situation and taking charge; if he was doing that, Yakko could concentrate on Dot.

Bugs, arm still firmly around his shoulder, began to lead him towards the ambulance. Kit fell into step beside Yakko, telling him to relax; Dot was a tough girl and that he and Rebecca and Molly would be meeting them at the hospital.

Yakko, inhaling and struggling to keep calm in the face of this crisis, looked around while nodding, appreciating the support. Rebecca, holding a weeping Molly in her arms, was next to the ambulance, standing beside Foghorn, who was holding Wakko's hand with a strong grip. Beside them were Jeeves and Slappy, keeping a hand on their charges.

Giving a shuddering sigh he watched them lift Dot into the ambulance. Another vision he had hoped to live his entire life without seeing.

"Sweetie," Ms. Cunningham said, stepping forward and catching Yakko in a hug. "I'm so sorry - "

"Not your fault," Yakko muttered, barely returning the embrace.

"I'm the one that encouraged her to ride - "

"I'm the one that let her," Yakko argued.

Half laughing and wiping at her teary eyes, Ms. Cunningham weakly said, "I don't know if we could have stopped her."

"Mister Warner, Mister Bunny, would you like to ride in back or up front?"

"In back doc," Bugs said easily, addressing the paramedic that was looking at them from the open rear doors. "Keep everyone on this side of insanity if we stay with her."

Bugs stepped aside to allow Yakko to climb in first.

"Wipe your eyes Yakko," Bugs whispered softly. "And as hard as I know this is, please, stay calm. She's gonna be OK and she'll be a lot better off if you try to remember that. You're her big brother, reassure her, OK? These guys are gonna help her. I need to talk to the paramedics, let them know the situation, OK? And talk to Foghorn - "

"Wakko. Is there room? Does he want - "

"I'll find out; might have him ride with Foghorn. He's gonna be scared - "

"He's coming? Foghorn?" Yakko asked, still feeling agitated and stunned despite the fact that Dot was being taken care of.

"Yakko," Bugs sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Relax. Have any of us ever abandoned you guys before?"

Yakko closed his eyes and sighed wearily, shaking his head. He tried to tell himself to calm down; everyone was sticking around to help which was good since his mind was too cluttered with worry to do much more than concentrate on getting to his injured sister.

Dot was in good hands with people trained to help her, Wakko was OK -

"Trust me, Foghorn's coming; Porky, probably everyone you see here. They're just as worried about her as we are. But you're the one that Dot's gonna want, so you climb in the ambulance and keep her as happy and reassured as you can. That's way more important right now than worrying about talking to these maroons," Bugs said, shooting Yakko a small smile that seemed entirely too serious.

Reassure her? Hell, he needed someone to reassure him…

"How?" Yakko snorted bitterly, running a hand through his hair before thrusting them in his jeans pockets. "I can't even hold her - "

"Until she's been checked out at the hospital, you can't move her doc," Bugs explained patiently. "She's scared and in shock; trust me, just your presence will be enough…OK? Just talk to her, let her know everyone's keeping her in their thoughts and we're all gonna be at the hospital waiting for word OK? Hey, tell her we'll all go out to dinner; that might cheer her up."

Yakko nodded, shooting the rabbit a weak smile before stepping up into the sterile ambulance, seeing Dot, still weeping quietly but not seeming quite as upset as she had been still strapped to the backboard and on a gurney.

He rubbed his temples; feeling the mother of all migraines beginning as he ignored the female paramedic that was checking Dot's vital signs and sat beside her.

"Yakko," Dot moaned, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm sorry…I did so bad - "

"You did great," Yakko said, awkwardly sitting down beside the paramedic that was checking Dot's vitals. He sat on his hands so he could avoid any temptation to pick her up. "I'm so proud of you and until that stupid pony - "

Yakko saw a few tears leak out of the corners of her eyes and felt his heart aching for his little sister.

"Everyone saw me - "

"Everyone saw you riding wonderfully and a horrible accident happening. But hey, don't worry about that now," Yakko said, surprised his voice was so strong and steady despite how he was feeling. "Now we're gonna hitch a ride to the hospital, get you checked out and…Ehhhhh, we'll wing it from there. Definitely think we're having tacos for dinner tonight - Bugs said we'll all go out."

Or she might anyway; he was thankful he hadn't eaten much earlier or he would have probably thrown it up in the ring.

"I don't want to," Dot whimpered quietly, turning her large liquidly eyes to him and her bottom lip trembling. "I don't wanna see him. I don't wanna see anyone."

With that she sniffed quietly before her shoulders shook softly and she closed her eyes, not looking at him anymore.

Making an attempt to steady his still trembling hands, he reached out, catching Dot's tiny hand in his own, holding it firmly.

God help any of the rescue crew if they tried to tell him he couldn't do that.

XXXXXXXXXX

" -and we'll meet at the hospital - "

"Rabbit - I say - rabbit just get your scrawny hide in the ambulance and get on down the road. We'll be right behind you - "

"My car - "

"Gimmie your keys rabbit. Tiny car you got, probably put it in the back of my truck - "

"Save the jokes loudmouth - "

"Who's joking?"

Wakko fidgeted anxiously, wishing everyone would just shut up and tell him what was happening and that Foghorn would let his shoulder go.

Dot was right there, just inside the ambulance, and no one would let him go see her, reminding him of when Yakko was in the hospital and everyone kept him and Dot away from him. He knew they were trying to help and kept telling him she was all right but until he saw it with his own eyes he wasn't going to really be comforted by their words. He honestly thought about saying something but also remembered he had angered Foghorn a long time ago about it and was barely able to hold his tongue.

Raising his ears even more than they already were, he could just make out the pitch of her voice and Yakko's over the conversations going on around him. He couldn't make out what they were saying but he knew they were talking.

She had been terrified and hurt and screaming and no one would let him near her. It wasn't fair - he was her brother too but they were only letting Yakko in. Wakko was aware he couldn't do much to help her; he didn't know anything that was going on, but he'd like to think he could get her a drink of water or something…

He swallowed, feeling fear mix in with his annoyance and guilt. He had laughed at her earlier when she misplaced her helmet and he had been a jerk to her about going. He didn't like horses - he liked horsepower. He hadn't wanted to come to this and had barely wished her good luck and look what happened.

Now she was hurt and crying and they wouldn't let him in - they probably thought he was a rotten brother. Yakko was allowed to go in…

Oh no…maybe Dot thought he didn't want to see her, like he didn't care or wasn't worried about her. What if she thought he left? He sniffed, wiping at his eyes for a moment, trying not to panic.

Beside him he felt Max lean over, putting his hand on his shoulder and Wakko glanced at him, twisting his lips upward slightly. At least Max wasn't being an asshole - he hadn't been any happier at being there than he was, and he had been laughing at Dot too.

But Max helped him chase around a couple of the snotty little assholes and hiding all their ribbons and stupid looking brushes they used on the horses. Dot was his sister; Wakko truly believed that he was the only one allowed to laugh at her about anything. Since Max was his friend he was allowed to help in the games.

Anyone else - adult or stupid kid - had better watch out. Including that really nasty reporter; he was asking nasty questions of Dot…something about her cheating.

Dot was no cheat - he had watched and she never even tried to grab extra money when they were playing Monopoly or anything. And the few times she had tried to play a card game with all of them she constantly lost, but that was because they all cheated, mostly to see who could cheat the best.

Dot had finally gotten mad at all of them and refused to play cards with them anymore and everyone was OK with that; she wasn't very good at their type of cards.

But when the weasel had been bobbing around in front of them with his camera, trying to take pictures and ask them questions, Wakko had threatened to kick him.

Foghorn turned away, muttering under his breath when Wakko had said that, but didn't interfere much other than trying to get him to walk away with him. The weasel and muttered about 'uppity' Hollywood types bossing around the little people before demanding an interview.

Foghorn had said that if he would kindly find him a real journalist he'd be more than happy to allow 'the boy' to answer some questions. But not to him; kid knew better than to talk to strangers. With that Foghorn had dragged him away.

Wakko was pretty sure the reporter had a picture of Max giving him the finger. Jeeves had scolded him about it, saying he shouldn't act like that when there were cameras around to record the event for posterity, Max had shrugged, saying he would shove the camera so far up the reporter's ass the next time he farted he'd take a picture.

Jeeves had just sighed, rolled his eyes and then smacked Max on the back of the head. Wakko was pretty sure he didn't do it hard; Max had merely shared a smirk with his butler.

"Foghorn!" Wakko hissed again, turning as much as the rooster's grip would allow so he could look up at him. Tugging on Foghorn he said insistently, "Let me go! I wanna see Dot and - "

"No room back there boy," Foghorn explained patiently, looking down at him now that Bugs had gone back to talk to the people in the ambulance. "Gotta have room so the EMS folks can do their job, got your brother and your sister and Bugs - "

"Bugs can leave!"

_Because he's not her brother and wasn't a total jerk to her the whole day!_

"Can't leave boy - need a chaperone - besides, rabbit being in there helps keep your brother calm, which keeps your sister calm - "

"But I wanna go and- "

"We're going! You think I'm not gonna take you?"

"No! But - "

" - over with me, keep me company on the ride, let your brother - "

"But I'm her brother too!"

" - and they're gonna take good care of her - "

"But - "

Pulling Wakko's hat down over his eyes Foghorn added, "Stop talking nonsense boy - talk too much as it is. Never let anyone get a word in edgewise!"

Wakko bit his lip, feeling the soft raw skin sting slightly. When Dot had fallen he had been startled, wondering if he had really just seen that. Even if he was acting like a jerk to her and pretending like he didn't care, he did. He didn't understand much of what she was doing - or why - but he was happy she was happy and was doing really good. He hoped she won the blue ribbon because she seemed so worried about it.

When she fell, tumbling over the horse's neck, he had wanted to yell at her to Chuck herself so she wouldn't get hurt but it had happened so fast he had instead just bit hard into his lip, drawing a few drops of blink. Even now he could still taste a few drops of the tinny mixture.

After that he had continued to nibble and worry at it, his teeth slowly chewing the skin raw.

"Foghorn, please," Wakko begged, clutching the rooster with both hands. Talking really quietly so no one else would hear he added, "Come on, please Ratchet? She's gonna think I don't care!"

"Boy she don't think - "

"Yeah she is!" Wakko said, bobbing his head up and down before rambling. "I was a jerk to her all day and said I didn't care if she won or not but I didn't really mean - "

"Settle down - I say - settle down boy! Getting yourself more worked up than a coon dog with a fresh scent on the first day of hunting season."

"Come on; she's my sister too! Just because Yakko's older doesn't mean he cares more than I do…right? Or is he just more important because he's older?"

Looking down at him and rubbing the top of his beak Foghorn sighed, "Gotta stop doing that face boy; reminds me of a whipped puppy."

Wakko wasn't sure what face he was doing but decided to not move and keep it up; it seemed to be working. Foghorn was squinting down at him, trying to look sterner than his mood indicated he was in.

"Come on boy; suppose seeing her won't hurt. Wave at the little miss and say hi."

Smiling slightly Wakko held still while Foghorn lifted him up under his arms, carrying him to the back of the ambulance. Comforted and relieved but still scared, Wakko curled his tail around Foghorn's wrist a few times reflexively.

"Can I see her?"

"Relax Master Montana; we shall see her at the hospital. Please let her family cling to her at the moment."

Wakko threw a look of gratitude over his shoulder at Max. He knew Max was bored and wasn't exactly on best friends terms with Dot, but he knew Dot would probably like to know that even someone that wasn't her best friend was worried about her.

Rounding the corner of the ambulance, Foghorn picked Wakko up higher so he could comfortably see in the one open door.

Wakko looked up, seeing the cluttered emergency vehicle's rear, but relaxed. Dot was awake and looked awful, but she was alive. She was all messy and dirty and had what looked like a water wing around her leg, but she was awake and talking to Yakko.

His eyes briefly looked around, looking at the stuff surrounding them. There was all sorts of machinery and tubing and glass that looked confusing but he was sure was important; if it wasn't important why squeeze it into such a tiny space? Wakko shook his head; much like when Yakko was in the hospital after the auto accident, he didn't care what the stuff was and how it worked; as long as it helped them.

Yakko looked almost as bad as she did. He didn't look like he had been crying recently, but his eyes had a weird wet look that was unfamiliar to him, and there was a slight bit of red under them.

Yakko also had his tense stressed out look he usually got when he was worried about one of them. His forehead was all furrowed and his lips were tightly pinched together, even if he looked like he was attempting to smile down at Dot as he held her hand and talked quietly to her. Bugs was sitting beside Yakko, with a paramedic across from him; they were talking to each other.

Maybe Foghorn was right; there really wasn't enough room in the back for him too.

Dot looked up, catching Wakko's eye and he waved at her. With her free hand she halfheartedly waved back, causing Yakko to look up and give him a tight smile.

"Hi Dot!"

He frowned when he went to say more and she closed her eyes.

_She must be really mad at me…_

"Dot! I'm sorry! I thought you were doing really faboo! Everyone here did until you fell off your horse! I bet you woulda won if you hadn't done that!"

Yakko closed his eyes, inhaling sharply and Wakko felt his frown deepen. He did think she was doing good until she fell.

Dot looked at him, gave him a watery smile and nodded. Wakko nodded back, feeling his tongue peek out of his mouth; Dot seemed OK with what he said.

To his complete surprise, Dot then burst into tears.

Wakko blinked at her in shock and worry, especially when Yakko rolled his eyes and began talking to Dot again, stroking her hair back gently and being told by the paramedic not to touch her head. Bugs looked at him, putting his hand to his forehead for a second before rolling his eyes and pointing, first to Wakko before making a gesture to Foghorn.

_Was it something I said?_

"Don't mind him little miss - he's got a soft heart - head to match," Foghorn sighed, pulling Wakko closer to him as he spoke, leaning into the ambulance and his voice echoing around the small area. "Calm down - I say - calm - "

Wakko heard Foghorn 'umph' just as he was pushed roughly to the side and he winced when the rooster stumbled, tightening his grip on him.

"Stand aside - press!" A rude nasally voice rang out.

Wakko looked up, seeing the reporter that had been bothering them earlier. The man had pushed Foghorn aside and was in the doorway of the ambulance, snapping pictures.

"Smile for the camera baby…oh yeah…worth a few bucks..."

As he continued to mutter to himself he clicked away, twisting his camera to and fro as he got the best pictures. Wakko watched, as stunned and taken aback as everyone else as the weasel, a nasty smirk on his long dark muzzle backed up rapidly a few feet while yells and protests echoed out of the back of the ambulance and from the small crowd surrounding it.

After a few seconds, Wakko tried to kick out of Foghorn's arms to go attack the man. No way was he letting him get pictures of Dot, not like that. He knew Dot liked the publicity, but not like this. She was already upset and scared and this strange reporter that was being mean to her before was just going to hurt and embarrass her.

He could see Dot cringing as much as she was able in her little makeshift bed, looking miserable as she cried and begged the man to just go away and leave her alone and not to take any pictures. The paramedic stood, trying to block the man as much as possible so he couldn't get any pictures while she talked into a radio on her shoulder to get help.

Wakko watched, scared and worried as he saw Bugs beginning to stand with an angry look on his face, but sat back down hard as Yakko roughly pushed past him. He had his fist to his mouth as he furiously stalked to the rear of the ambulance and Wakko thought the reporter would be very wise to take the pictures he got and run like hell because Yakko was probably going to gut him.

Wakko heard the others coming around the side of the ambulance, Jeeves actually holding Max, Ms. Cunningham holding Molly with one arm and restraining Kit with the other, who had his fists balled and was darkly muttering curses under his breath as he pulled against the woman.

Yakko, at the rear of the ambulance was stepping out as Dot's sobs grew louder, saying, "You despicable mother f- "

"Settle down - I say - settle down boy," Foghorn said quietly, gently pushing Yakko back into the ambulance with one large hand. "Got this covered."

Exchanging a quick look with Bugs who shared a nod with him, Foghorn gave another push, more firm this time which sent Yakko stumbling backwards slightly. When he was clear Foghorn closed the door with a loud thudding sound.

Wakko, still in Foghorn's arms, looked up briefly at the rooster's face and felt a small shiver run down his spine, starting at his head and creeping down to the tip of his tail.

Foghorn was angry - not annoyed or aggravated like he usually was with him - but really angry. Wakko had never seen the rooster's eyes narrow to such thin lines - he'd never heard a low growl come from his throat either. Wakko struggled to get out of his arms; Foghorn was tightening his grasp on him as he glared at the weasel, who turned to snap a few pictures of them now that the ambulance was closed.

"Ah, see you're worried about the little lady," the man said in an oily wheezing voice, turning to give a toothy grin to them. "Is she really hurt, or was this a studio publicity stunt? Or because she wasn't doing that good in the show? Is she a sore loser? Did her brother put her up to it? Hey, let the kid in there - give me a chance to get a family shot of the tragedy -"

"Put me down Fo - "

"Quiet boy," Foghorn snapped, giving Wakko a few gentle shakes. "Man's colder than a penguin's rear end," he muttered tightly.

_Huh?_

With that, Foghorn turned and waved his free hand to the advancing Kit in a halting motion, then grandly turned to the reporter with a large smile.

"Oh, you just want a family shot of the kids huh?"

Foghorn waved the rest of the advancing party off before putting Wakko on the ground, muttering almost inaudibly, "Just keep quiet boy."

_They always tell me to keep quiet!_

Wakko glared at him but stayed still; the stupid reporter was insulting his sister and brother. Didn't he have the right to at least say something? Get some sort of revenge for Dot since she couldn't do it herself? There was no way he was going to let him just take pictures of them and ask them questions.

Shocked momentarily and unable to speak and protest the situation, Wakko watched, hurt, as Foghorn put his arm around the gloating weasel's shoulders. He was speaking in a pleasant sounding voice and acting like they were friends.

_I thought he was my friend too…_

Before he could even think of going forward, to tell the weasel to leave his sister and tell Foghorn he didn't ever want to talk to him again he watched - and decided to listen this time instead of accusing.

" - to see that you recognize that you have to keep the press on your side - "

"Right, right," Foghorn said grandly, waving broadly at the back of the ambulance as two people in jumpsuits got into the front. "Because she's not a person - I say - because she's not a person or anything. Oughta be happy even though she's hurt that people wanna take pictures of her -"

"She's an actress and has a job because of publicity…and the press - "

"Oh, I agree…and I don't want to let the little miss get any bad publicity…not as concerned about myself though. Watch that step."

The reporter frowned and asked, "What does - "

Before he could finish his question Foghorn moved his arm, grasping the back of the man's head in one massive hand and ramming it hard into the back of the ambulance door with enough force the man's feet almost came off the ground. His tail stood straight out as he yelled out in pain and surprise.

Wakko hated the reporter with a passion for trying to sneak in and upset Dot further, but he almost felt sorry for him. Foghorn was strong and mad and didn't exactly look like he was holding back in his ramming of the man's head into the ambulance.

In fact, when the man staggered backwards, groaning and yelling, Foghorn grasped his head and rammed him into the ambulance's door again. With that he let go and smirked widely as the man staggered backwards and fell in the dirt, right at Wakko's feet.

Wakko watched, stunned and amused; Foghorn was good. He had barely seen him grab the man's head before he rammed it into the ambulance door, but he had seen it. He shrugged off a feeling of guilt for doubting Foghorn and was happy he hadn't said anything before seeing what the rooster did. He shoulda known Foghorn had some sort of plan.

He had enough to feel guilty about just with Dot; he didn't need to feel guilty about Foghorn too.

He crossed his arms and started laughing as the dirt puffed up around the man and the camera went crashing to the dirt and various items flew out of his pockets.

"Told you to watch that step."

"Oh fuck yeah!" Max hooted, pumping his fist in the air before pointing to Foghorn. "That's it - I wanna be like him when I grow up!"

"Master Montana," Jeeves said before sighing, going from looking startled to looking somewhat amused…for him. "Fine. A worthy role model…and no, you may not kick him," he said, grabbing Max's shoulder as he started to go forward towards the downed reporter.

"Foghorn!" Ms. Cunningham snapped angrily, stomping up to the smirking Foghorn and letting a laughing Kit go. Shushing Molly she said firmly, "I can't believe you!"

"What? Told him - I say - told him to watch that first step." Looking down at the reporter who was flailing around in the dirt weakly while groaning Foghorn added, "It's a real doozy."

Ms. Cunningham closed her mouth tightly for a moment before a small giggle escaped her lips and she muttered loudly, 'good job'.

"You…you dare to assault a reporter?" the weasel hissed, slowly climbing to his feet and wincing in pain when he stood. "A member of the press?"

"Musta hit your head hard son; didn't assault you. Was trying to help you," Foghorn called, not looking at him.

Instead, Foghorn pounded on the ambulance door, waving at a human who was looking at him through the mirror. With that the vehicle began to slowly drive out of the dirt ring, the sirens giving a few loud bursts to get the spectators out of the way.

"Too bad - I say – too bad for you; ambulance up and took off."

Wakko watched, amused and pleased as the man began to brush himself off. When he touched his forehead to wipe a smear of dirt away it looked like it hurt.

"I'll have the law on you!"

Wakko started at the threat; the law? Was Foghorn going to be arrested?

He gulped slightly; he didn't want to see Foghorn hauled off to jail, especially when he didn't really do…much. Wakko looked around wildly, wondering if they should run.

"Got police all around here son; pick an officer and file a complaint I guess - "

The reporter hissed, snapping his head around to look at Foghorn. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Nope," Foghorn said, turning to look at the enraged man. He reached out and patted the weasel's bright green jacket roughly, brushing off dirt and said, "Do know you're filthier than a wicker toilet seat - "

"Don't touch me!" Backing up a few feet from the laughing group the reporter looked around, noticing his scattered items.

"Stand aside kid!" He snapped, bending to pick up a couple of photographs that Wakko had accidentally been standing on. "Just one of these photos is worth more than a whole roll of your sister."

"Asshole," Wakko muttered, clenching his fists as he stepped back off the photographs while trying to look at them. "That why you were trying to bully a little girl - "

"Aren't you the big man when you got a six foot tall rooster around you?" the reporter asked back, his grimace being replaced with a sickening smile. "Still got what I came for though didn't I?"

Wakko glared at him, debating on how much trouble he would get in if he hit the man. He was still half bent over; Wakko bet he could push him enough he would fall and then he could probably get a couple of really good mallet shots in before he was dragged off him.

He shook his head; he'd probably get arrested for gross toon misconduct, pulling his mallet in public and attacking someone. Mentally he debated on it a moment before deciding against it; he wanted to get to the hospital to see Dot.

"Boy! Wakko! Move away from him; man's lost his mind. Might think you're attacking him too!"

Wakko ignored Foghorn, who was waving and gesturing for him to come closer. He could hear the others talking, Ms. Cunningham asking with a gentle urgency to her voice for him to back away and come to them so they could go to the hospital. Max was saying something about shoving the camera so far up the reporter's ass that the next picture he took would be of corn, then Jeeves giving him a whap upside his head and telling him to be silent while Kit laughed.

Instead, Wakko studied the reporter who was still muttering taunts under his breath before seeing something sticking out of his pocket. He felt a small click in his mind and perked up; he bet the pictures of Dot he had taken were in his pocket. The man had been snapping pictures all day of the show. Even when he wasn't trying to bully Dot into giving him a story or bugging Ms. Cunningham or Bugs to talk to him, he had been snapping pictures of the show.

He hadn't tried to lift anything in a while, not really seriously. While pretty sure his skills were rusty, Wakko was positive they weren't gone. Besides, the man had just taken a couple of good shots to the head; he probably wouldn't notice.

Feeling a wicked little grin come to his lips briefly, Wakko bent, acting like he was handing the man some papers. When the man roughly snatched them from him, Wakko reached over, quickly and nimbly thrusting his hand in the reporter's jacket pocket.

His hand closed over something slick and hard, and he pulled it out, palming it and removing it before the man fully turned his head. Wakko quickly thrust whatever it was into his own jacket pocket before anyone could notice what he-

"Boy I told you to come here!"

Startled, Wakko felt Foghorn grab his arm before roughly picking him up, pulling him to his chest.

"Man's crazier than - "

"I'm crazy? You should be locked up!" The reporter said harshly.

Wakko, who had been fingering what he took in his pocket, finally looked down, hoping to see what he had just risked his life for. If Yakko ever found out he did it he'd probably kill him.

Foghorn and the reporter were arguing; the reporter looking insane as spittle flew from his mouth angrily while he threatened to have Foghorn locked up and to write an article about him assaulting the press. Foghorn told him to go right ahead; wouldn't be the first non-complimentary article about him; he was pretty sure it wouldn't be the last.

The other adults, still holding on to their charges, were trying to interject with their own thoughts.

But none of them were looking directly at him.

Wakko looked one final time before moving his head around Foghorn's shoulder and stealthily bringing his hand out of his pocket to see what he had grabbed.

It wasn't film canisters, and he was very disappointed. That meant the reporter still had them and would write a bad story about Dot. Wakko frowned before looking at his newest prize, trying to read what it said and not pull it out fully so everyone saw it.

Not seeing anyone looking directly at him, Wakko quickly bent down, picking up the item and trying to read it with it half hidden in his jacket pocket and partially covered by his glove.

_Press Pass…_

Feeling a sense of excitement despite the previous fear and anger and confusion and disappointment, Wakko glanced at it quickly, moving his thumb slightly so he could read more of the wording. There was a small photograph of the weasel on it, leering at the camera.

He grinned though while reading it. The reporter's name was Seymour Globe and he was a freelance reporter and photographer.

Underneath that was wording, saying that he had paid his fees to the ToonTown Office of Journalism, and that this card only identified him as a member of the press. With this card he did not gain any legal powers and it would not replace event specific passes nor did it give him the right to interfere with law enforcement or emergency personal in order to gain information for a story.

At the bottom was his large flowing signature and an issue date.

Wakko grinned to himself, somewhat pleased. Maybe the man would be kicked out without his card; Wakko hoped he got in a lot of trouble.

He looked up when Seymour Globe began to yell and wave.

"You!" He screamed, pointing towards a human police officer who was talking to a few people near the fence line. "I wish to report a crime - assault! I want him charged!" He demanded, pointing towards a very unconcerned looking Foghorn. "And his little hellion protégé thrown in a home!" Turning and smirking triumphantly he added to Wakko, "No guardian, no freedom. I read about your troubles years ago with them."

_Oh no…no, no, no!_

Wakko cringed back into Foghorn; Yakko and Dot wouldn't want to read about her being hurt in the newspapers. Chances were that reading that Foghorn got arrested and he had been sent to the TIS system wouldn't really make their day either.

"Foghorn!" Wakko hissed, grabbing a handful of feathers as he manually turned the rooster's head towards him. "Let's run - "

"Relax boy," Foghorn muttered, patting him on the head before shifting him higher on his hip. "Got this covered."

"Officer! Now! You have a duty - "

"Yeah pal, keep your shirt on," the officer said, coming over and lazily looking at the group.

Wakko glanced over at Max warily. Max was still pressed up tight to Jeeves, looking his usual self. Bored - but there was a hint of worry there.

"Hey Foghorn - "

"Hey Richard," Foghorn said, his smirk going to the weasel before he looked and grinned broadly at the officer. "How ya been?"

"Same ole," Richard said, crossing his arms before looking at the reporter. "All right, what are you screaming about?"

Wakko listened as the weasel began to talk, saying that he had only been doing his job and documenting the events of the horse show - which included an injury to a star. He had every right to interview witnesses and take pictures, but Foghorn assaulted him, breaking his camera before sending a child to hit him when he was down.

Wakko went to speak, to tell the police officer the reporter was lying and he was just sneaky and slimly and it didn't matter if he was a reporter or not he shouldn't try to bother a little girl even if she was an actress but Foghorn put his hand over his mouth, silencing him.

Jeeves didn't even wait for Max to go to interrupt; he put his hand over Max's mouth and held it there, even when Max began batting at him because the butler had his hand over his nose too.

Molly sounded like some sort of bird, going to interrupt with a 'bu' and her mother would silence her. Then she would do it again and Ms. Cunningham would shake her slightly.

" - and I know the toons and humans have the same laws on this. He assaulted me - "

"Yeah, OK, calm down pal," Richard said, turning towards the group of toons, who went from looking annoyed to calm while the reporter simmered in front of them. "So, Foghorn - he accused you - wanna explain why you're putting your fists into reporter's noses and why I shouldn't haul your feathered carcass in?"

"Don't know what he's talking about," Foghorn shrugged. "Didn't punch - I say - didn't punch him. Was just trying to assist him into the ambulance; boy done run himself into the door - "

"No I didn't!" the weasel fumed, coming over and standing on his toes in an attempt to get into the rooster's face. It didn't work.

"He pushed me - "

"If I may sir," Jeeves said, letting go of Max to walk towards the officer. "I believe the reporter is confused. I myself saw Mister Foghorn attempt to escort him into the ambulance. It is my opinion that he may have sustained a hit substantial enough to - "

"I'm not confused!" The reporter screamed, looking insane as he stalked around in a circle. "You're just gonna let them get away with this because they're Hollywood types - "

"My good man, I am not a 'Hollywood' type; I am a butler."

"Now everyone just calm down here," Richard said, putting his hands up in a soothing motion. "This is getting blown out of proportion. Now, you got any witnesses that saw Foghorn ram you into the ambulance?"

"Well how could I? He's got everyone on his side." Looking back at Foghorn and swinging his tail the reporter added, "And I'll write a story about this - "

"Go right ahead; haven't had a good yarn spun about me in awhile - "

"I want him thrown in jail!"

"Officer, he didn't do anything," Ms. Cunningham said urgently.

"Mommy - "

"Hush sweetie. He didn't; I was standing right here and saw him he was simply being nice and trying to help - "

"Look, I was standing right beside him and I didn't see him push anyone," Kit said, coming forward and sounding much calmer than he had been.

"That's right," Jeeves said, speaking loudly so that the officer's attention was drawn to him. "But now, may we please leave? We would like to get to the hospital and check on the little girl - "

"No one's going anywhere!" Seymour screeched, grabbing the officer's arm. "I want him arrested! He assaulted a member of the press; broke my camera! Sean Penn was arrested for beating a photographer - what, Foghorn too good for that?"

"There was witnesses…and you're press," the officer stated, looking back at Seymour. "You got credentials stating you're press? And why are you down here? The other press are behind the railing," he finished, nodding his head where there were several reporters and photographers walking around, talking or watching what was happening.

Wakko looked at them, trying to keep a smug look off his face when the reporter patted his jacket pockets, then began to empty his pants pockets, still searching.

If he didn't look at him, he couldn't be spotted laughing and have the man's attention drawn back to him.

"If you haven't got anything stating you're press - "

"It fell when he pushed me!" Seymour said, looking like he was trying to rein in his anger. "I'm a member of the press! I paid my dues to the ToonTown Department - "

"Yeah, sure buddy. Get behind the line - not with the other press - over in the bleachers."

While Seymour argued with the officer, Foghorn said a quick goodbye to him before walking off, telling Wakko to stay quiet as they headed towards the parking lot. He said Porky, Slappy and Skippy had already left; it was time to catch up with them.

Wakko turned to see Seymour being escorted off by the officer and felt incredibly smug. Sure, no one would ever know what he had done, but at least he got some secret revenge for Dot.

He'd give her the press pass; he bet she'd like that. It would be a little souvenir of the event; a really secret souvenir that she couldn't ever tell anyone about, but Dot was real good at keeping secrets.

And if he gave it to her, maybe she wouldn't be mad at him anymore. And he would promise from now on he'd go to every single horse show and ballet recital and he wouldn't say a single bad word about any of it no matter how boring it was.

"Let's get to the hospital boy - ambulance left at least five minutes ago."

Wakko nodded as Foghorn lifted him into the truck. As he put his seat belt on, he peered through the windshield. Across the lot he could see Jeeves and Max walking quickly down the row of cars, losing sight of them when they disappeared into the next row and were hidden by a van.

Foghorn quickly hopped in the driver's seat and started the truck, roaring out of the parking lot so quickly that Wakko almost thought he was in a car being driven by Bugs.

"Cheer up - I say - cheer up boy," Foghorn said, glancing at him before returning to looking at the road. "Dot'll be fine - "

"Yeah, hope so," Wakko muttered, fingering the press pass in his pocket and hearing it make a thwacking sound as he flicked it nervously.

"Trust me boy, been around for years, she'll be all right," Foghorn said.

Wakko would be more inclined to believe him if the rooster wasn't anxiously tapping on the steering wheel and weaving his way in and out of traffic like he was in the final stages of a race. Squinting, Wakko was pretty sure he could see the ambulance going over a hill in the distance.

Sighing, Wakko slumped in his seat, worry and remorse replacing his prior euphoric feeling. Dot was hurt really bad, she lost her horse show contest and wasn't going to win a ribbon which would upset her.

But, maybe Mister Seymour Globe lost all his film. Wakko hadn't felt it in his pockets, and he hadn't pulled the canisters out when he had been emptying his pockets looking for his press pass.

He struggled with his moral dilemma internally. He shouldn't have stolen the pass; Yakko had been beating into his head for years that stealing was bad. But Yakko had also been beating into his head that he was supposed to stick up for his little sister. He wondered if stealing the pass could be considered the greater good.

Wakko continued to flick the press pass in his pocket, taking some small comfort in it despite the problems it caused. It felt like it weighed about twenty pounds. At least he had something to tell Dot. After a moment he pulled it out slightly, keeping it shielded by his jacket pocket. Dot would think it was funny, and if it brought a smile to her face it was worth it -

"Cheer up boy; sister'll be fine - "

"Yeah? How do you know?"

"Been around a long time boy; seen all sorts of kids get hurt in crazy ways. Betcha Dot will be fine when we get - "

"And that's why you're driving like Bugs?" Wakko asked, not turning to look at Foghorn. "You keep this up you're gonna beat the ambulance to the hospital."

"Know walking around with a face longer than an undertaker's tape measure isn't gonna help." Cocking his head slightly Foghorn asked, "Whatcha got in your pocket boy?"

"Uh…nothing," Wakko muttered, quickly stuffing it back in and closing his fist around it.

"Nothing's making a lot of noise."

Wakko didn't say anything for a minute then asked, "Hey Foghorn, do you think it's OK to do something bad if you did it for a good reason?"

"Huh?" Looking surprised Foghorn turned to study him for a moment as he slowed for traffic. After a moment of studying Wakko's face he sighed and said, "Out with it boy; what did you do?"

Hesitating, Wakko sighed, wondering if he should confess to Foghorn what he did. Chances were the rooster would be mad that he did it, but he might not be really upset if he knew why.

Deciding telling Foghorn wouldn't hurt, he pulled the press pass out of his pocket and held it up so Foghorn could see it. The rooster raised both his eyebrows before sighing and shaking his head.

"I didn't want to…well, I did," Wakko said firmly, shaking his head. "I mean I didn't want to steal it, but he was being a jerk and said that Dot wasn't important and - "

"Boy, take a breath and - "

" - he was right there and I was really looking for the film he took of Dot but I didn't find it," Wakko said, knowing he was rambling but hoping to get his side in before Foghorn started yelling. "And I'm really glad you hit him - "

"Didn't hit him boy; you heard everyone. He tripped going in the door."

"Nuh uh," Wakko said, shaking his head. "I saw you - you rammed his head into the door. Twice," he clarified.

"You musta seen wrong - "

"I wish I could have done it. I wanted to hit him - "

"Can't run around hitting people boy, even if you want to." Looking down at Wakko and sighing he said, "OK, fine, while helping him in the ambulance I wasn't careful and I sorta helped his head into the door. But…Look boy…" Foghorn said awkwardly, looking like he was fumbling for the correct words.

Wakko cocked his eyebrow at Foghorn. He knew when he was being talked down to, and normally Foghorn didn't try to give him any bullcrap; he said what he meant. Most times. Sometimes it just took him a long time to say it.

Foghorn looked at him and said, "OK, fine, I rammed his head into the door; didn't mean to break his camera though. But I was trying - I say - I was trying to make sure he didn't get any more pictures of the little miss all laced up tighter than a catcher's mitt strapped to that gurney." Shrugging as he hit the gas again and the vehicle took off he added, "Figured the ends justified the means. Still don't mean you can run around stealing the stuff in their pockets."

"But beating them up is OK?"

"No…damn why'd you have to see that?" Foghorn muttered before sighing. "OK, fine, I shouldn't have done it, but you shouldn't of robbed him - "

"If I was gonna rob him I woulda took his wallet too."

"Can't argue with that logic. Fine, but you know the difference between right and wrong; know your brother's talked to you about it - "

"Look, don't tell him OK?" Wakko said, instantly forgetting about Foghorn knocking the reporter around and regretting that he told Foghorn what he did.

Foghorn was pretty cool, but he was one of 'them'. The adults. He was gonna lecture him and tell Yakko…

Wakko gulped; he really really hoped Yakko didn't try to make him give it back. Talk about bad publicity.

"He's gonna be upset enough with Dot hurt! He doesn't need to know that I - "

"Well - "

"Look, I promise if you don't tell him I'll sit through any lecture you give!" Wakko begged, struggling to get the seatbelt off and almost standing in the seat. "You can do whatever you want just please don't tell him! I'll wash your truck once a week or I'll - "

"Much as I'd like - I say - much as I'd like my truck washed once a week, can't very well punish you for something I did myself."

Wakko stopped rambling when Foghorn spoke and watched, first in confusion, then in delight as the rooster sighed before reaching into his Hammerspace. After a second he pulled out three rolls of film, holding them up for him to see.

"Boy, I see way too much of myself in you sometimes. In this instance - I say - in this instance and this instance only, think maybe it'll be OK if we both keep a secret Socket. Don't think we both need to sit through lectures on inappropriate behavior."

Wakko nodded and gave a relieved sigh. Foghorn may not be delighted with what he did, but no way he was gonna tell Yakko, especially if he did it himself.

And obviously he did it better; he found the film. That might mean no pictures were gonna come out of Dot. He was the only one that had been up in the ambulance.

"One time thing."

"Right Ratchet."

"Great, wonderful," Foghorn muttered. "Boy's got eyes sharper than a hawk."

Louder he ordered, "And get your seatbelt on boy; ambulance is right in front of us; get to the hospital and see your sister. And you don't let me find out if you start knocking reporters around; I can handle some bad publicity and nasty comments; don't want you three to start having to deal with it too."

Wakko nodded, still anxious but feeling a little better.

Foghorn probably shouldn't have knocked the reporter into the ambulance and broke his camera or stolen his film but he'd never say anything about it. And Foghorn wasn't going to say anything about him stealing the press pass, so they had a secret between them.

Max was right; everyone should wanna be like Foghorn when they grew up.

Maybe doing something bad wasn't really good, but it was better than letting Dot get hurt…more. Wakko figured he would have taken getting a grounding or something for stealing the pass, but he'd rather not if he didn't have to.

He fidgeted, hearing Foghorn lecturing lightly about not doing something he knew was wrong even though it helped someone and Wakko almost grinned despite his apprehension of going to the hospital. Yakko was gonna come out and probably beat that reporter up himself; Foghorn just got there first. Besides, if Yakko had done that he might be going to jail instead of the hospital, and Foghorn said he didn't care if the papers wrote a bad article about him.

Wakko decided Foghorn was the most bad ass person he ever met. He really wanted to grow up to be just like him.

His light lecture ending, Foghorn went back to reassuring Wakko that Dot would be just fine.

Wakko nodded, listening to Foghorn, wanting to never get to the hospital but wishing they were already there despite the fact that he hated them. But if he was there he could find out what was wrong with Dot and take her home and apologize for acting the way he had and that he'd be her devoted little slave if she'd be OK and forgive him.

_End Chapter 33_


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 34 – Revenge

" - and it's OK Dot, no one - "

"No it's not!"

"Dot…just please, let's get you out of here - "

"I don't want to go there! I want to go home!"

_Oh so do I!_

Yakko sighed, wishing he could just go hide in a corner for five minutes and cry, or beg the doctors for some pills. Not for Dot; she was gonna have plenty for herself. He wanted something for himself; if he begged one of the doctors for something strong enough he might be able to forget this daytime nightmare.

Running a hand through his hair, he looked down at his sister. If she wasn't so gloomy and depressed looking she'd be pathetically adorable.

Sighing, he exchanged a glance with Bugs, who gave him a halfhearted shrug and looked weary and exhausted himself.

Yakko watched Bugs flex his hand unconsciously and returned a weak smile, trying to mentally remind himself he probably should apologize for taking a bite out of the rabbit's hand earlier. He had only been trying to help and Yakko had bit into him like he was the main dish at a four course meal.

He was glad Bugs had been around; the last few hours had pretty much had him at his breaking point. Once again the rabbit had stepped up, asking them to stay at his house, at least for the time being. He welcomed them under any circumstances, but with Dot hurt and since the show wasn't filming, they could come there to relax and recuperate, at least for the next three weeks. Bugs had already said any medical appointments that she needed to go to he would of course drive them to; she would have to return to the doctor in seventy-two hours regardless for a check-up. By then some of the swelling should have gone down.

Dot had testily said no, only wanting to return home and hide in the tower. Yakko took the decision out of her hands; right now he would be willing to lay in front of an oncoming train if it would make her happy, but going to Bugs' house not only sounded like an opportunity to relax, but it made the most since.

Besides, no way she could get up into the tower. Or down. With as weak and shaky as his own legs felt right now he wasn't sure he could, but she definitely wasn't. As usual, when a crisis struck the Warner clan, Da-Doo Bugs stepped up to the plate and helped shoulder the burden, and they hadn't had a crisis of this magnitude in awhile.

A broken leg. Or, to be more precise, a greenstick fracture of the right fibula.

It was the most major of her injuries thank God. It wasn't even a full break; being young, Dot's bones were much more flexible and softer than an adult's, therefore, her fibula wasn't completely broken through, just partially.

The doctor that had worked on Dot had assured him that this was a very common injury to happen to a child, and she should heal with no complications. She would be required to come back for checkups and may even have to do physical therapy just to get the leg muscles strengthened when she was finally out of the cast, but she would suffer no lasting harm.

Her other injuries were superficial; bumps and bruises. She had the wind knocked out of her which was where her chest pain was originating from. She would be sore, she would be grumpy, but she would be all right.

Yakko had almost collapsed against the wall in relief. In his alarm and confusion he had feared all manner of injuries; brain injury, broken spine, damage to her growth plates, broken ribs, crippled for the rest of her life…

He shivered slightly, relieved that it was only a broken leg and almost feeling guilty because he was so pleased about it. Like Bugs had pointed out, it could have been much worse. The thought alone of what could have happened made Yakko slightly nauseous.

Yakko rubbed his head, looking down at his grumpy and half drugged sister.

She was a pathetic sight. While one of the nurses had been kind enough to provide him with a washcloth to try to wipe down her face fur, her clothing was in shambles, still smeared in dust.

Well, except her pants. They had been cut off at the right knee, and her boot completely cut off so the medical staff could treat her.

Yakko fully expected to leave the room they were in and find that every piece of glass on the hospital property had spontaneously shattered when they had begun that task. There had been no way to remove her boot but to cut it - her leg had begun to swell.

He had to consol and comfort her the best he could while restraining the urge to pound the doctor's face in for causing her further pain. The man was doing his job and helping her. Yakko knew they were being as gentle as they could and he almost chanted that in his head.

It still didn't help.

Nothing he was saying was helping her, and he had no idea what to do for her; this was painful and frightening for both of them. He'd really have to work on doing something and he was pretty sure going to get tacos for dinner wasn't going to be enough.

He did know he had serious reservations about letting her ride again. What if next time they weren't so lucky to escape with a broken leg? The mere thought of something worse happening made him slightly ill and required him to take a few deep breaths to steady his nerves; he couldn't be held responsible for his actions if something worse did happen to her - especially because of an activity that he had condoned.

He wasn't sure if she would want to ride again, but if she did, he wasn't sure if he would allow her. Why couldn't she pick a safe hobby, like basket weaving or something?

Now she was depressed and half-high on the pain killers the medical staff had given her with her outfit half destroyed and her right leg and foot encased in a hard, fiberglass cast she was glaring at through sleepy eyes.

He had hoped she'd be happy; at least it was pink.

Yakko almost laughed at his own absurd joke, even if it was in his head. While he was pleased that only her leg was broken, it was far from ideal.

He was supposed to protect her, shelter her from being hurt or going through any undue stress, and here she was, miserable, dirty, injured from an activity that he had approved of with her leg entrapped in a cast.

But it wasn't only her body he was worried about; he was concerned about her mental state. He understood some depression; he fully remembered being unable to move after the auto accident and how frustrating doing even the simplest of tasks became after that for awhile, but this was different.

He hadn't blamed himself or anyone for the accident, not really. He still would joke on occasion about using only FedEx if he needed to mail something, but he knew he hadn't screwed anything up. It just…happened. That's why it was called an 'accident'.

Dot though…from what little his sister had said to him, he could tell she not only blamed herself, she seemed convinced that everyone was either mad at or laughing at her. She had started crying again when he told her that the waiting room was filled with people, all standing around staring at a television or talking amongst themselves until Bugs had gone out there to tell them about her condition.

She had been so upset that Yakko hadn't been able to tell her that Nurse Miller was outside waiting to check on her. The woman had been unable to make it to her show only because of a prior engagement. When called by Ms. Cunningham though she had raced away from whatever she had been doing to come to the hospital, even stopping by the tower on the way and picking up clothing for her.

Yakko had no idea how to convince her that no one that cared about her was laughing because she got hurt. He had hurt her when he'd told her he couldn't promise that the news that she fell and got injured would not be in the paper. He had no control over the press. He could only hope they would be sympathetic to the fact that a little girl was hurt and not make it a joke.

"Dot, come on, you're being rude - "

"Forget it doc," Bugs said, waving Yakko off as a nurse came in with a wheelchair which Dot scowled at, crossing her arms and pouting. "She's groggy, tired…if I was her I wouldn't want to spend time at my house either." Bending down so he was even with Dot he added, "But hey! You got a fiberglass cast! We can find a cover for it and you might be able to go swimming - "

"I don't want to go swimming! I don't want to be seen…And I don't want to go in a wheelchair!"

Yakko sighed, wishing he could put his hands over his ears, wanting to just scream in frustration.

Dot wasn't happy, so he wasn't happy. She had balked at the idea of being released from the hospital in the wheelchair, but it was hospital policy. He hadn't liked it either when he was finally released and he could walk…not well, but he was somewhat mobile.

With a leery look he glanced at the crutches in the corner, feeling a small stab of pain. For the next few weeks, Dot would either be sitting or getting around on crutches.

Wakko, when he was allowed to come back and visit her and reassure himself that she was OK, had started playing with the crutches, bringing a small smile to Yakko's face as he hobbled around the room on them. His brother had enough upper body strength to get around on them for a short while.

Dot hadn't been amused, managing to choke out something about Wakko finding her injury to be a new source of taunts, which led to Wakko almost leaving the room in tears. Yakko had started to follow him, to tell him Dot didn't mean it and she just wasn't going to be herself for the next few days but had been stopped by Foghorn, who was speaking to Bugs and Porky in the hallway.

Yakko hadn't gotten the whole story but he got enough to find out that Foghorn had…'assisted' that pain in the ass photographer in 'surrendering' the rolls of film of the show. He knew he was getting an edited version; Porky and Bugs' voices before his presence told him that. They had been a mix of disapproving and gloating euphoria.

Upon spotting him, the conversation went silent for a moment before resuming, annoying him only because he was mentally and physically exhausted and because they had gone back to treating him like a child, the talk changing when his presence became known. It had been a struggle not to throw a tantrum and tell them that, but even in his own shattered state he could tell that probably wouldn't be the best way to get his point across.

Luckily, that had been the best option, because they had filled him in, mostly. None of them were real forthcoming with information, but he got enough. From what he got he really hoped to hear the rest of it one day. Apparently the rooster had barely missed going to jail, and anytime someone 'barely' missed going to jail there was usually a good story behind it. Happily, Foghorn knew quite a few of the police officers at the show; he was quite active in the Police Athletic League; between that and all the adults vouching for him he managed to 'convince' the photographer to 'lose' his film and avoid having charges pressed.

Yakko wasn't surprised; Bugs tended to know more reporters and editors and heads of business. Foghorn seemed to know more of the 'working' men - , the police officers and the like. Yakko knew he was on first name basis with most of the security officers at the mall just from his years of being his chaperone. Since he rarely tried to spy on Yakko and what he was doing with his dates, he grew bored and began talking to the staff.

Yakko sighed, watching as Dot was unwillingly lifted into the wheelchair, the nurse taking extra care to make sure she was as comfortable as possible given the circumstances.

At least there wouldn't be tons of photos of her strapped to the gurney, crying and filthy. He'd thanked Foghorn profusely for that; he had lived it - he did not need photographic proof in the papers. Dot flying over the horse's neck and lying crumpled and broken in the dirt was an image he would never forget.

"Yakko - "

"Dot, promise, this will all be over soon. Come on sis," Yakko said, half begging. "We're gonna put you in the car, get you home and comfortable, you can take some pain killers and rest…"

He went on but he could tell Dot wasn't listening, mostly because her eyes were only half opened. If he watched carefully, he could see the lids grow heavy and start to fall, only for her to jerk them back open to angrily glare at him and protest before she would yawn and repeat the process.

Maybe he wouldn't have to argue with her; if she sat there a few more minutes she would fall asleep and he could get her to Bugs' house with a minimum of difficulties.

Yakko winced when he heard her give a small whimper of pain when she was moved. No matter what, she was going to be uncomfortable and in pain the next few days; just looking at her leg would hurt her.

Running a hand through his hair, Yakko went to the side of the chair, reaching down to hold Dot's hand. He couldn't make her better and try as he might he wouldn't be able to make her pain go away, but he could at least attempt to give her some comfort from his company.

Until they got to Bugs' house, where he would probably smother her in love and attention. Once she was awake enough to realize what he was doing; glancing down at her he could see she was already half asleep.

She barely looked around when they entered the small waiting room, where the whole group from the horse show was waiting for her.

The excitement and adrenaline that had been coursing through him before was wearing off, and he was starting to feel the day's events taking a toll on his own body. He wasn't sure if he would be able to sleep or not; no doubt he would be awake the entire night, hovering around Dot's bed in case she woke up and wanted or needed anything. But while he was hovering he would be exhausted, probably working himself back into a frenzy while he imagined new 'what if' horrors if Dot decided to ever ride a horse again.

Not to mention he was already starting to feel the mother of all migraines beginning to pound in the back of his head. In his weary mind he could almost imagine a small vicious groundhog digging incessantly behind his eyes, and he wondered if Bugs had enough aspirin and coffee in the house to get him through the night.

Ms. Cunningham, a sleeping Molly in her arms, appeared beside Yakko, speaking in a soft voice while handing him Dot's backpack, stuffed with her clothing and things from the riding show, along with the ribbon she won for participating in the jump. She may have taken a header off the horse, but she still got a consolation ribbon for being there. Molly had won fourth.

Yakko tried to concentrate on Ms. Cunningham, truly making an effort, but her words, while comforting, had little meaning for him. He struggled to pay attention to her.

Kit had gone to the gift shop and bought Dot a get well bouquet of flowers; he came forward with them, even going to his knees to grandly present them to her. When the cub noticed she was half asleep he shrugged, turned to Yakko and presented them to him instead with a wild smile and wagging his eyebrows.

Yakko mostly resisted the urge to laugh, just because Kit looked so ridiculous. He made himself feel better by hitting Kit in the face with his tail before thanking him. Dot would appreciate it when she woke up, and he was just coherent enough to thank the boy for sticking around; apparently, Kit had a 'hot' date he was missing.

While Bugs got any final instruction from a nurse for Dot and scheduled a follow up appointment with the doctor, Yakko, still holding Dot's hand walked beside the wheelchair. He knew Wakko and Foghorn and Kit were speaking to him, but he was so drained from the day he honestly had no idea what they were saying. Even Jeeves, standing beside Max at the exit was talking and Yakko simply couldn't understand the words coming out of their mouths. Even their faces were blurring momentarily as fatigue set in.

Bugs came up beside him, speaking to him and telling him they would be riding in Foghorn's truck for now. Yakko simply nodded; happy to have his friends around him and wondering how on Earth he would have gotten through this if he hadn't. He would have to treat everyone here to one hell of a dinner to thank them for this.

Looking down at Dot, seeing her face still twisted in pain despite the fact she was asleep and higher than gas, Yakko smothered his own yawn.

This was bound to be a very long night.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 2, 1996

_Ouch…ow, ow, ow…_

_Stupid broken leg…stupid cast…_

_Ow!_

_Stupid pony stopping at the stupid hurdle…_

_Stupid me for falling off him._

Cranky and sore despite her drugged state, Dot slumped back further into the nest of pillows on Bugs' couch, grimacing at the tan and green plaid pattern. Normally she liked Bugs' den; it was very cozy. Now it and everything in it was a reminder of what happened. And for awhile, it would be her prison.

As she crossed her arms across her chest she winced at the pain the movement brought her.

No matter what she did, it hurt. Breathing hurt, lying down hurt, sitting up hurt, her leg hurt…everything hurt. The painkillers they had given Yakko when they left the hospital didn't help that much.

With a sad sigh, she looked up slightly at her leg, encased in the hard pink shell that it would be in for at least the next three weeks. The doctor said she had to keep her leg elevated so the swelling would go down; she bet the doctor never broke his leg. If he had she bet he wouldn't have said that - keeping her leg up was hurting and it was uncomfortable and it was just really hard to do.

She sent a glare at the cast. She usually liked pink but seeing the cast in her favorite color made her mad. The cast shouldn't look so…pretty. It was positively cheery, and something that ugly that made her feel ungainly and awkward should not be pretty. It should be drab - like grey or beige.

Feeling a stabbing pain shoot through her leg, she whimpered slightly, trying to move again to get comfortable while her eyes filled with tears.

How could this have happened? She was doing so well; she had almost envisioned herself winning the blue ribbon, the judges handing it to her while everyone clapped and cheered for her. It was gonna be perfect; everyone would have taken her picture and said she did great, that she was flawless and was obviously more than just the cute one. All she had wanted to do was have everyone be proud of her, and not just because she learned her lines and didn't cause trouble; she wanted them proud of her for something more.

Instead, she ended up looking like a fool in front of the entire show. Sprawled in the dirt, filthy and crying with her leg broken in front of pretty much everyone she knew and respected and that she wanted to see her do good. Then that awful reporter that had taken pictures of her…

She felt a few tears leak out of her eyes, not only at the pain but at everyone seeing her.

Dot bet that everyone had laughed. She couldn't really remember much because her memory was hazy because of the pain, and the worry of what everyone had thought made her more upset. She did remember Yakko, his face tight and panicked and anxious hovering over her. She remembered the nice men from the ambulance talking to her, and the nice lady in the ambulance who let Yakko and Bugs ride with her.

Yakko and Bugs wouldn't laugh. But everyone else probably did. And not just the people who had seen it; she knew people probably took pictures. She was famous, she knew as soon as she entered the ring people took pictures just because of her name. But them taking pictures of her, like that…

She hadn't seen today's paper and she didn't want to. She didn't want to know what people were saying, probably something stupid like 'Warner goes over hurdle without horse!'.

Dot blinked, trying to get rid of her tears before succumbing to them, bringing her hands up to hide her face in them, then starting to cry harder at the pain the sudden movement brought. Even the crying hurt, making her cry harder.

She wanted Yakko to come in and comfort her. He had barely left her side - the only time he did was to go to the bathroom, which he did a lot because he wouldn't stop drinking coffee.

When she had awoken at three in the morning, moaning in pain he had been sitting there in a chair by the bed to tell her what was going on and to ease her fears because she wasn't in her bed and hurt. And he already had a glass of water to give her along with some painkillers that helped dull the pain a lot, but they made her sleepy.

He had gently gotten her to the couch, taking one step at a time while carrying her and if she so much as looked at him he would stop and make sure she was OK before taking another hesitant step. He had gotten her more cookies and candy and drinks than she would ever be able to stomach even though she wasn't hungry.

Even now Pop Tarts and boxes of candy were stacked on a small card table next to the couch like sympathy cards; if she moved a hand she could have any treat she desired in her hand. He had a few different types of drinks there; he was going to bring more but at that point he said he was worried the small table might collapse under the weight.

He had moved the TV so she could see, even though she hadn't wanted to watch television but he made sure the remote was right there for her.

He even ran upstairs, two at a time, to get Cupcake for her. She would have to thank Lisa for grabbing the bear from the tower.

She felt the bear, sitting on the pillow next to her head and she moved slightly, feeling the worn fuzzy plush brush her face fur. She liked snuggling the bear, but she liked snuggling up to Yakko better.

She wanted him to come in to hold her as much as he could and fluff her pillow and tell her a story and say he was sorry and if he could take her pain for her he would.

He couldn't, but him holding her hand or stroking her ear helped. Some. And he was the only one she wanted just because she was sure he was the only one that hadn't laughed.

Mentally, Dot screamed for him while feelings of fury came over her at Bugs; the rabbit had almost demanded that Yakko go try to grab a nap. Yakko had refused, several times before he had started to doze off in the chair by the couch where Dot was resting. After that Bugs had almost dragged Yakko off by his ears, saying he would be more than happy to wait on Dot for the time it would take for Yakko to sleep.

Yakko had finally gone when Bugs had brought a bell out and put it next to the couch, saying Dot could ring and be waited on hand and foot, but if Yakko didn't get sleep he not only couldn't wait on Dot, he'd be ill and Bugs would have to take care of both of them.

Dot almost rang the bell to call Bugs in. She didn't want anything but a hug and some comfort, and with Yakko not available, Bugs was the next best thing. Bugs gave good hugs -

"Dot?"

Hearing the questioning voice, Dot stiffened while trying to choke back her sobs. She wondered if she could quickly pretend she was asleep.

She didn't want to see Wakko; he probably just wanted to laugh at her.

He hadn't wanted to come to her show. He and his stupid friend had done nothing but laugh at her the whole time. He even said he didn't care if she won or not, and he didn't say that because he was trying to be nice like Yakko when he was saying it didn't matter if she won or lost because she was having fun.

No, he just really didn't care. He was even playing with her crutches last night like they were a new toy; she remembered him in the room looking at them, then trying them out himself.

Dot had wanted to astonish everyone, make them so impressed with her show and the way she rode they'd want to come to all of them. She had wanted to really wow her family. Yakko might not look at her as the stupid little sister, but she didn't want Wakko to look at her that way either.

She bet he did now; he was probably embarrassed to even say she was his sister and had probably laughed his head off with his stupid friend when she fell.

Dot would bet all her allowance for the next year that if Yakko hadn't made him, he wouldn't even be over at Bugs' house; he'd be over at Buster's or somewhere else that he wanted to be.

She might have two older brothers, but only one cared. The other one thought she was a joke.

"Go…Go away Wakko," she sniffed, not bringing her face up from her hands and cringing at how raw and hoarse her voice sounded. "Just leave me alone…"

_Please please go away I don't want you laughing at me to my face at least don't do it in front of me…_

"Um…Can I - "

"Go away…just go away I don't want you - "

"But you're crying!"

"Go away!" Dot cried, louder and firmer than before. Wiping her nose on her glove and grimacing at what she saw there she added, "Go away or I'll tell Yakko you're bothering me!"

_That should get him out of here._

"But Dot - "

"I'll get Bugs in here," Dot threatened.

Bugs had said he wouldn't let anyone bother her; she was there to rest and relax and feel better and he said he didn't care what he had to do, she wasn't going to be bothered. He routinely came into the den to check on her and talk to her while offering to play games, but she was in such a bad mood she had snapped at him, saying he was bothering her and she wanted Yakko.

She felt bad about that; she got herself hurt and she was yelling at one of the few people that were trying to help her feel better. And she knew, deep down, that Yakko needed to sleep too. She just wished he had slept on the couch next to her instead of being sent to bed upstairs.

Dot debated on ringing the bell and making Bugs carry her upstairs so she could sleep on the bed next to Yakko.

Coughing a bit as her crying fit began to subside, Dot felt the cushion of the couch depress and she looked up, glaring at Wakko.

"Dot, come on," Wakko said, reaching out to push back her hair. "I just wanted to say - "

"Fine Wakko," Dot said, angry and depressed and just resigned to what he wanted to say. "I know, I was bad. I fell off my horse. You were right." Feeling her lip trembling again she wiped at her nose and whispered, "I shouldn't have made you come. You or Max or Fog- "

"No! No that's not what I was gonna say!" Wakko said, looking horrified as he fell back on his rear. "I was gonna say you were really good! Faboo even!"

"Yeah, right. I fell - "

"So? Before that you were really good!"

Dot looked at him, wondering what he was talking about. She didn't think he was even paying attention to her riding.

" - and even your fall was good!" Wakko finished, sounding enthusiastic. "You know, really impressive…"

Dot looked at Wakko before starting to cry harder again, barely seeing him hold his head and shake it through her tears.

Why did he have to be a jerk? If he was going to come in there and bother her he could at least say he was sorry she fell and give her a hug even if it would hurt because she was sore.

"OK, wait, that didn't come out right! I meant…uh…"

Through her tears she could see him panicking, sending a horrified look towards her before looking at the door and going back to her again.

"Sorry! Look, don't cry! I didn't mean you falling was good!"

"That's what you just said!" Dot half screamed, half sobbed at him.

Sighing, he stood, thrusting his hands in his pockets and looking as dejected as she felt.

"I just meant I was glad your fall wasn't worse - you could have been hurt really bad, and I just wanted to say sorry." Turning and walking towards the door he added, "I'm sorry I was a jerk before. I thought you were the best one there; even if you fell you still rode better than everyone else and I watched, even when I was pretending not to pay attention and just talk to Max I was still watching."

Dot started at the words.

That would be just like Wakko, to pretend he wasn't paying attention but he really was. She noticed he did that a lot; he wasn't quite as lost as he sometimes pretended to be. He was spacey sometimes, but he could be very observant.

"Really?" Dot whispered, narrowing her eyes at him as she struggled to stop crying to talk to him. She was desperate for attention and sympathy and she'd even take it from Wakko. "You really watched?"

Spinning so quickly to look at her he almost toppled over, Wakko nodded.

"I saw you jump those other two fence things, and you looked good, like you really knew what you were doing!"

Dot felt the smallest beginnings of a smile come over her face at Wakko's vigorous bobbing of his head.

Wakko wasn't the best at wording things sometimes, but he tried.

" - and that one girl that rode before you, she sucked!" He crowed happily, dashing back to the couch at her look and crouching beside her. "And that other one, the human? She rode her horse around the second thing, but you went right over it! I mean it would have been great if you had just jumped the third one too instead of - "

"Wakko," Dot sighed, feeling a frown replace the small smile. "You were doing good before, just…just shut up."

"OK."

With that, Wakko sat on the floor, studying his hands folded in his lap.

Dot watched him for a moment, wondering what he was doing. It was unusual to see Wakko so still, unless he was sick or in some sort of trouble. Even through her own pain and misery, she really didn't want to see him sick.

"What are you doing Wakko?" Dot finally sighed, curiosity making her forget she was still kinda mad at him.

He had been a jerk; she didn't need to make him think he was forgiven right away. Even if he was.

"Waiting, in case you need anything."

_I need a hug._

"Oh."

Dot leaned back into her pillows, wondering if Wakko would end up going to sleep there out of boredom or if he would start to hop around soon.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, last night at the hospital." In a quiet voice Wakko added, "I didn't think your crutches were a new way to make fun of you, I was just trying to make you laugh - "

"I'm never gonna laugh again," Dot muttered.

"Oh you will and anyway I just wanted to see them, to see if they were hard to use," Wakko rambled, looking like he was trying to speak quickly before Dot yelled at him again or he was told to leave the room. "They're not. Maybe, if you want when you have to use them I can help you."

Dot wrinkled her nose and muttered, "I don't want to use them. I don't want anything to do with them."

"Well, they're not bad…yeah, they suck," Wakko finally said. "But…they aren't hard, and it's better than sitting on the couch all the time with your foot in the air."

"Everyone's just gonna laugh, like they did - "

"So? Everyone's an asshole."

Dot giggled. Wakko's new favorite word; he used it a lot lately, when Yakko wasn't around.

"And no one laughed, not even Max and he's the biggest asshole around."

Dot smiled a little, wincing in pain as she tried to adjust herself again, hoping to get comfortable.

Max was a butthead, but if he hadn't laughed there than maybe he wasn't as big a butthead as she previously thought. Maybe he laughed at home. She hadn't wanted him to laugh at her either; she wanted him to say 'oh, that wasn't that bad' at least.

She loved the praise and attention from her friends and family. She figured she did even better if she got it from Wakko and his friends. They were hard to please sometimes.

Buttheads.

" - and I'd beat anyone who did laugh!" Wakko insisted before adding proudly, "I already did!" After a moment he added sheepishly, "Kinda. Well, not really, but I wanted to."

"Oh yeah?" Dot asked, trying to push herself up enough to look at Wakko. "Who?"

"That reporter." Wakko reached into his pants pocket and pulled out something. "I know he was a real jerk, so…well, you gotta promise not to tell. No one, cuz if you do I'm gonna get in trouble."

Now extremely curious despite her pain and just general annoyance with everyone and everything around her, Dot managed to push herself up on her elbows, feeling ungainly and awkward.

"What - "

"No, you gotta really promise!"

"OK, Wakko, OK," Dot griped. "Don't get all worked up I've never told on you…before…"

Dot broke off her grousing as Wakko thrust something in her face, catching the nasty reporter's face and the words 'Press Pass'.

Stunned, she reached out, closing her sore fingers over the laminated card so she could read it. Skimming it and stumbling over some of the larger words, her eyes widened before she returned her gaze to Wakko, who was fidgeting anxiously beside the couch.

"I tried to hit him," Wakko muttered quietly. "I did. Foghorn wouldn't let me cuz I think he wanted to do it himself but I really wanted to punch him and make him eat that stupid camera. But I couldn't," Wakko shrugged before sighing and sounding depressed.

Dot, who had been staring first at the press pass, turned her head slightly to stare at her brother, who was acting like he felt guilty and pleased at the same time. She blinked, thinking to herself as Wakko rambled; something about Foghorn and Kit and Jeeves…

Who cared? Wakko, in his own, unique, creative…wakko-ish way, had been trying to protect her. He cared, he hadn't laughed, he was saying he was scared and mad and he wanted to ride in the ambulance but the adults wouldn't let him and Foghorn had to almost ram a burger down his throat to make sure he ate while she was getting her cast put on…

Feeling some semblance of delight as he rambled and said he hadn't meant to pick the man's pocket but 'the damn thing was right there!' Dot felt her lips continue to tug upwards.

"Then he was down in the dirt and I wanted the film but…I got that, so he got kicked out of the show and I thought…I don't know, you'd…um…"

Wakko's rambling fell off as a snort escaped Dot's lips. He looked at her, alarmed, as a scream of laugher escaped from her, tears welling up in her eyes. Dot watched as Wakko fell on the floor beside her, crawling upwards so he was half leaning on the couch and grabbing her hand.

It hurt some, but he looked so panic stricken she didn't have the heart to even tell him to let go.

"Look, don't be upset! I'll throw it away or something just - "

Coughing, Dot choked out, "Don't you dare!" Struggling to control herself before Bugs came in to check on all the noise she hissed, "Don't! I…You…You stole Wakko!"

"Well yeah; I just said that," Wakko moaned, shaking his head. "It's not like he was gonna give it to me - "

_Dummy._

"What if you had been seen? You're not supposed - "

"I know but - "

"Fine. I know I'm not supposed to say this because it…oh…oh yeah, encourages bad behavior," Dot said, trying to remember Yakko's exact phrasing. "But thank you!"

She felt a bit wicked because she was happy the reporter got in trouble but she didn't care. He was a big…asshole.

She mentally shrugged; Wakko used the word, she should be allowed to use it, in certain situations. That reporter defiantly went beyond 'butthead'.

"Yeah, OK - "

"What else happened?"

"Huh?"

"There," Dot said, sitting back on the couch again. "You wanted to do stuff for me, so, tell me what happened at the show. You said Foghorn - "

"Yeah…Look Dot, you can't tell - "

"I won't, promise," Dot said, still sore but feeling better than she had before Wakko came in. "I've never told on you, no matter what stupid things you do. I don't need to tell on you; you get yourself busted half the time."

"Hope not this time," Wakko muttered, perching himself the best he was able on the cushion beside her.

At least the people who really mattered weren't laughing at her or thinking she was a big failure. One of the ones she was most worried about had stolen for her…sort of.

She didn't care. Wakko wasn't supposed to do…his pick pocketing stuff - their old career as Yakko liked to call it. He wasn't supposed to, but he did, for her. Dot didn't want to make Yakko upset by letting him know Wakko did that, and she sure didn't want Wakko in trouble for doing it. He couldn't beat up the reporter, so he did the next best thing in his mind. Dot didn't mind - this was loads funnier.

If it was for any other reason she'd like to see him punished, just so he wouldn't do it again and get in real trouble, but this one time she'd over look it. Wakko was swearing it was a one time thing and he was really looking for the film and he looked so guilty and was begging her to not say anything

She wouldn't and she'd keep the press pass. She might not have won a ribbon, but this was almost as good.

She would hide it in her box of special things, the jewelry box Wakko had bought her a long time ago. It held all her most secret special things, like the little necklace that Yakko had bought her a long long time ago before she could even remember. The chain was broken and the unicorn was a bit tarnished, but she still had it.

"So…" Dot asked, hoping if she bugged him Wakko would talk and not get bored and wander off and leave her alone.

She probably wouldn't get a hug out of him, but she could get a story. Besides, this sounded like it might be a good one.

"Yeah…Um…You sure you wanna hear this?" Wakko said, looking uncomfortable as he glanced around the room. "I mean you're hurt and tired and I don't - "

"Wakko, I'm hurt, sad and bored. Talk to me, please," Dot said, turning her wide eyes to him in what she hoped was a pleading manner.

_Please don't leave me, not right now. Wait until I take some more medicine and get tired then go…_

"OK…" Wakko said hesitantly, looking awkward as he continued to perch on the couch beside her. "Um…you want anything? Drink, candy, story…hug?" He muttered.

Dot stiffened, feeling sore but trying to ignore it and wishing the stupid medicine worked better.

"A…hug? From you?" Dot felt a wide grin come over her face; it hurt her head but she didn't care. She would cry about it later, but a hug now would make it worth it.

Especially from this brother; Wakko didn't give out hugs much.

"I would hug you…I mean I want to but you're all hurt and have the dumb - "

"Wakko?" Dot asked, feeling a heady euphoria and unsure if it was the medicine or the fact that Wakko just asked her - sort of - if she wanted a hug.

She was gonna get a hug and a story. She wasn't even being greedy. She was hurt - she was allowed to get both.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up, lean over, and hug me. Then tell me the story."

Wakko blinked, letting go of her hand and staring at her, biting his lip as he thought about her order. After a second he leaned over, first quickly until remembering that she was hurt and he hesitated.

Dot sighed, wishing that he wouldn't treat her like she was suddenly made of glass. A simple hug probably wouldn't hurt…much.

Feeling Wakko hug her loosely, almost putting his arms on the pillow so he wouldn't really touch her, Dot snuggled back into the pillows, uncomfortable but content for the moment. If Yakko didn't wake up soon Bugs would be coming in to make her take another pain killer and try to get some rest. Before that happened though she wanted to spend some time with this older brother and get his story.

Even if it was a story that couldn't be shared with anyone, ever.

Wakko began to tell her somewhat animatedly about the events that unfolded after she was 'carted off' in the ambulance, about Foghorn 'helping' the man 'lose' his film, Dot closed her eyes to envision the events taking place. This was way better than anything they could find to watch on TV.

As she tried to chuckle gently so she wouldn't agitate any of the soreness that was radiating through her body, she had to hand it to Wakko; at least he got her laughing.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 5, 1996

"Hey Dot, you got another visitor - "

"Oh goodie! Molly's here isn't she?"

Yakko looked down at his sister's face, seeing the delighted look as she put her paper and crayons aside as she struggled to sit up. Investing in an art board for her had been the best ten dollars he ever spent. At least with that she could draw while half lying down.

She was still struggling to do simple things, she hated the crutches and the cast - he did too. The large hard cast looked almost obscene on her delicate leg, and he hated that her summer was being ruined by having to sit indoors on the couch.

At her checkup though the doctor said it was healing as it should, and Dot should be removed from this cast and put into a smaller cast in about three weeks. She would still be in a cast, but at least she would be slightly more mobile. When they were out for her checkup they had even been able to find a cover for the cast so she could take a bath or go in the pool if she felt so inclined.

She was definitely feeling better; her happy disposition surfacing again after a few days of depression and melancholia. She was still prone to whining and crying and demanding attention, but Yakko expected it. Besides, he didn't mind giving the attention; he liked doing it and it stopped the whining. Plus she demanded it of Bugs too, and the rabbit was almost as inclined as he was to cuddle with her on the couch.

And Yakko knew he was a sucker - if Dot asked him to go stand in the middle of the street and get hit by a car he would do it. The only thing he had been stubborn on was her wishing to go riding again.

He might change his mind at a later date, but at this moment, he was refusing to even think about her on the back of a horse. She was obviously too young for it.

He ignored the fact that Molly and other children her age rode. They weren't his Dot, therefore he had no control over them. Dot, he did though, and if he had his way the only time she would see a horse again in her lifetime would be if she saw one on television.

Bugs had finally broken them up; Dot had started crying, proclaiming he was punishing her because she got hurt.

He wasn't punishing her; he was protecting her. That's what he should have been doing to begin with.

Smiling down at her and happy that she seemed to have forgotten the argument he said, "Nope. Someone more annoying. Max - "

"Max?" Her smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of surprise that slowly melted into a frown. "He's here for Wakko, not me."

That's what Yakko had thought too. When he had seen Jeeves drive up, he had been delighted; he liked the butler and welcomed any opportunity to talk to him.

After a few minutes of pleasant conversation with Jeeves while Max sulked against the car, he had finally asked where Wakko was. Being told that he was out with Foghorn and wouldn't be back until at least tomorrow - even later if Yakko could have his way - the boy had frowned, sighed, and instead asked for Dot.

Yakko hadn't objected; while Dot got a thrill out of her friends and the adults coming to visit her, she seemed to take particular pleasure when one of Wakko's friends came to see her.

"Nope sister sibling, he wants you."

"Why?" Dot asked, picking up her drawing again and going back to work, ignoring him.

Yakko frowned slightly, sitting on the couch near her. She might still be mad at him after all.

He had been slightly surprised when the boy asked to see her, but not overly so. Max had been just as worried as anyone else at the show and he wasn't evil; it made sense that he would want to at least say hi.

Yakko was surprised that Dot didn't seem more enthusiastic to see him.

"Come on Dot! He came all the way over here - "

"He's over here because he didn't bother to call and see if Wakko was here."

Well, that was probably true.

"Dot, don't be rude." When she looked up at him Yakko added, "If he didn't want to see you, he wouldn't be asking. And before you say anything, Jeeves didn't make him. Max asked on his own."

"Well, I know Max. He's such a butthead…even though Wakko said he didn't laugh, he probably did at home."

For three days he had been unable to convince her that no one - no one that mattered anyway - had laughed or thought anything about the situation was humorous. Far from it; most everyone had been alarmed, coming by to visit or sending flowers and phone calls.

She expected her friends. When someone who wasn't part of her 'crowd' came to visit though, she was still getting tense and uptight, expecting someone to 'laugh' at her. None had; the 'unusual' visitors had all managed to impress Yakko just by being…unusual. Meaning not themselves.

Molly had been a daily visitor at Bugs' house, her natural energy and enthusiasm helping to bring Dot out of her gloominess. Webbigail had also stopped by a few times, along with Skippy so that the sounds of laughter and joy radiated out of the den instead of the constant pitiful sobbing that had been echoing through the house.

They drove him and Bugs crazy with their giggling and shrieking, but Yakko would much rather have that. For a few days, Dot hadn't wanted any visitors and just sat and sulked and cried and the oppressive weight of her gloom dragged the house down.

He knew that Wakko was starting to get on her nerves, not that he was trying. Wakko, firmly in his 'I'm a big brother too' mode, was literally crawling on Dot if she so much as turned her head, trying to fluff the pillows that were propping up her leg, or get her a drink, or read her a story, or play a game or change the television channel for her even though she had the remote right next to her head. When she had sat up and tried to wobbly make her way on the crutches to the bathroom, Wakko had tried to carry her with potentially disastrous results.

Wakko was trying, Yakko couldn't say he wasn't, but his younger brother just really didn't understand restraint. Sometimes, Dot just really wanted to be left alone to draw and color or read or rest or try to use the crutches on her own.

When he had said something about it, half in despair and half in humor to Bugs, the rabbit had suggested letting Wakko go off with Foghorn for awhile. He was starting to get underfoot in his zeal to help out. When he wasn't trying to 'help Dot' he was running around like he usually was, which meant he was way more hyper than any child had a right to be, and Yakko had felt like his nerves were stretched to the breaking point. He had enough to deal with just with Dot, then he got angry with himself for being annoyed with Wakko who was being a typical eleven-year-old.

Yakko had nodded, liking the idea, and happily Foghorn had instantly agreed, saying there was a show down in Sacramento they could wander off to. Wakko had been hesitant about going, but when Dot had finally begged him to leave while threatening to hit him with her crutch he had relented and gone to pack his bag.

Yakko had been relieved. He loved his brother, but not having him dashing around like a crazy person for even a twenty-four hour period sounded like a vacation. Wakko was driving him crazy too.

Dot was as well, but for different reasons. Before when she wasn't being entertained by one of her friends, she constantly wanted him in the room with her, usually wanting to sit in his lap, her big pink foot propped up, to cuddle and whine.

He didn't mind the cuddling and he could understand the whining, but it got old, watching her be miserable. He was miserable just thinking about how unhappy she was, and she was so descriptive of how the cast was heavy and her leg itched under it and she couldn't scratch it - she had gotten mad at him when he took the hanger she was trying to dig in the cast with. The doctor had warned him about that and whether it made her unhappy or not Yakko was determined to do what the medical professionals told him.

Luckily, when Dot started realizing that no one who really cared about her laughed because she fell off her horse she had begun to relax and start to show signs of her real personality, the sweet happy girl he knew and loved. She had really relaxed when he had read her the article in the paper.

That had brought him a moment of sweet relief; the papers hadn't torn her apart. It was mentioned of course; she was too well known for it not to have been mentioned. But it said she had been doing beautifully until the unexpected spill and would have been a serious contender for first place in her class if that had not have happened.

The only picture that had been in the paper was him hovering over her body, his arms around her. Dot could barely be seen in the picture, and only his profile. It was much better than what he had been expecting. He had thanked Foghorn for his assistance; Dot would have crawled under the couch and died if any other picture had been published.

The only other thing of note in the article had been a brief mention about a 'discussion' that had occurred between several stars and a journalist who had snuck past security into the ring. It also stated that the journalist was escorted from the ring by the LAPD and off property after he fought with them.

The mention and the praise had brought a smile to Dot's face. But none brought a smile to her face like her visitors.

Yakko could hardly understand it; Dot had said she was worried that people would not only be laughing at her, but that some would be mad at her. Like Porky or maybe even him.

He had stared at her in astonishment for a few seconds - he had been scared to death. He had barely slept for days because of it. Every time he closed his eyes all he saw on the back of his eyelids was the vision of her crashing to the dirt. He was hardly mad; terrified, worried, exhausted - he was all of those things. Mad he was not.

After he had gathered her in his lap for awhile and told her how scared he had been, that the thought of her being hurt making him mad and frustrated, but not at her, just at himself for his inability to spare her pain and disappointment, she had relaxed significantly.

Until he said he didn't want her riding again.

Porky had stopped by every day to check on her and visit, something Yakko knew also improved Dot's disposition. Dot adored the pig, even asking him to sign her cast.

Wakko had scowled at that, having wanted to sign her cast first. Dot let him sign it next.

The pig had said he understood where Yakko was coming from, but said he personally thought that it was too soon to ban Dot from an activity that was usually not only safe, but healthy and something she really enjoyed. He pointed out that Wakko could just as easily get hurt fooling around with cars but Yakko ignored him. He wasn't worried about Wakko crashing to the ground because he got thrown off some rampaging beast's back.

Besides, he was with Foghorn. The rooster watched Wakko way too closely for him to ever get really hurt Yakko figured. Dot though was alone on the back of a horse.

He turned to look at her before his eyes fell on the mound of presents, cards and letters at the end of the couch.

She'd had plenty of visitors, even Wakko's other goofy friends had come over to play with him but first going in to see Dot and bring her presents, topping off Yakko's mental 'unusual visitors' list.

That cute ass model April had come over after getting permission from Bugs and riding over with Ms. Cunningham and Molly, dropping off a few fashion magazines that were entirely too old for Dot but she seemed to enjoy flipping through anyway.

Kit had been over then too, to visit Yakko and try to hit on the lavender bunny. It had turned into a competition when both of them had tried valiantly to impress her while seeing if she was actually dating anyone. Not that it mattered to Kit if she was seeing anyone or not but Yakko tended to like girls that weren't actively in a relationship.

They never got conformation; hell, neither of them had managed to even score one digit of a phone number. The girl had patted both of them on their faces like the drooling hound dogs they were then proceeded to ignore them, talking to Dot and Molly about an upcoming photo shoot she was doing while asking if they planned on doing any more modeling themselves.

Buster and his father had come by to visit, and the smaller Bunny had brought Dot a copy of 'Black Beauty' and a blank book with a horse on the cover, in 'case she wanted to write about stuff'.

While Yakko had approved of the book, knowing it would give Dot something to do to occupy her time, he had thought a blank book was an odd present from Buster. He shrugged, assuming Mr. Bunny had suggested it. Girls liked diaries and he was a writer.

Plucky had come screaming over the third day, almost out of breath as he clutched Wakko's shirt while yelling like a deranged person. In the middle of Bugs' foyer he declared that he not only found the perfect present for Dot but that he got a new video game system called 'PlayStation' and it was the 'best f-ing thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life!'.

Wakko had looked alarmed and struggled to calm his manic friend. Yakko was pretty sure Wakko wasn't quite as alarmed as he was though; Plucky was an…interesting child.

Bugs had merely held his hands over his ears during the duckling's fit, sighed, shook his head and declared that he was happy he didn't have to tutor Plucky; let Daffy have all the fun.

Yakko had to admit, Plucky had surprised him. His present had been a simple handheld video game for Dot. It wasn't much, some sort of game that involved taking care of a horse, but she seemed to like it.

Plucky did too; Wakko finally put a hand over his bill and dragged him away because he was so busy talking about it that Dot would never have a chance to play it if he didn't shut up.

Babs and Elmyra had stopped by to see Dot, playing with her hair, signing her cast, bringing over cakes and cookies. While visiting Dot Babs sat on the couch and giggled and tried her damnedest to sit in Yakko's lap. He had finally run from the room to hide until it was time for her to leave. What frightened him most was the girl's promise of coming back to visit lots, especially since Bugs was her tutor. She'd be over there all the time.

Foghorn, Slappy, Nurse Miller…everyone was coming by to visit Dot and cheer her up. Yakko was afraid he'd actually have to send people home so she could get some rest. She had received more candy, stuffed animals and flowers in the last four days than FTD probably delivered in an entire year. He had no idea what they were going to do with all the stuffed animals; no way she could shove them all on her bed. If they were in it, there would be no room for her.

Even Plotz had even dropped by for a short visit, definitely the one at the top of his 'unusual visitor' list. Yakko had been thankful that while his conversation with him was as sharp and professional as it usually was, he had been quite a bit more warm to Dot, going in and giving her a small stuffed bear holding a heart that said 'get well soon'.

Yakko had almost laughed; he hadn't gotten a bear when he was hurt. Out of the three of them, Plotz definitely liked Dot best. Of course, Dot didn't cause all the trouble or give him half the mouth he and Wakko did. At least the man liked one of the Warner siblings.

Fans had been sending in letters and small gifts to the studio. Dot might think she wasn't as well liked by the fans but she had a small mountain of fan mail waiting for her to review.

"Dot. I don't remember much about what happened after you fell, but I can promise you he wasn't laughing. And he's not laughing now. As strange as you may find this, he might actually want to just say hi to you."

_Because if he so much as cracks a smile and upsets you I'll brain him._

Dot frowned for a moment, looking as if she was pondering a very weighty decision before she nodded.

"OK, I'll see him. But if he laughs - "

"Trust me, he won't. He's not that stupid."

Standing, Yakko waved, seeing Max hovering near the doorway, Jeeves several steps behind him. With a firm nod Max walked in, his footsteps slowing as he neared the couch.

Yakko backed out of the room to stand next to the butler and listen.

"Mister Bugs went to make a phone call; he shall return shortly," Jeeves muttered. "I believe he is interested in scheduling a tee time in the near future."

_Fun._

Yakko had forgotten about it, with his sister nearly being killed. But Bugs hadn't; than again the rabbit was a fanatic about golf. He was still taunting Foghorn to go, and while the rooster hadn't refused, he had hedged around the issue, never committing to a time. If Yakko didn't know better he would think the rooster had a golfing phobia.

Mr. Bunny said he was still up for a game, just because he saw endless comedic possibilities.

All Yakko knew was that was four adults - a four person team. Yakko hoped they didn't expect him to go and be their caddy, not unless he could drive the golf cart around.

"Ehhhhh, I don't know, I'm not sure I should leave Dot - "

"You just told me outside that you had to chase your brother off; he was being too…'helpful'," Jeeves said. "To the point he was annoying Miss Dorothy - "

"Dot," Yakko automatically corrected.

" - do not think you will not begin to do the same. At some point, she will grow weary of being carried and wish to stand on her own."

Which terrified him. She was wobbly and unstable on the crutches, and anytime she even looked at them he was asking her what she wanted. A few times she had said she simply wanted to move…somewhere else, anywhere else, and he was bodily picking her up and relocating her.

She had objected a few times, but mostly seemed content to let him carry her for now. The idea of her falling and injuring herself further worried him. He was happy to play horse for her - it meant she might not want to get back on a real one later.

"Yeah, I know Jeeves, but…" Yakko sighed. "It's complicated."

"True, but you just told me that you have not been eating and were sleeping even less than you normally do. Not too long ago I was encouraged to do the same thing myself, if you remember? Now I get the opportunity to pass it the advice on to you."

"I don't want to just leave her alone all the time - "

"Good heavens I did not mean abandon the child! I merely meant that you should not get so wrapped up in taking care of her that you forget about yourself. You will do her no good if you have a nervous breakdown because you overexerted yourself."

Also true; Bugs had been telling him the same thing. Not that the rabbit could talk; he had been at her beck and call the moment she had entered his house. For all his big talk and advice Bugs was her devoted slave as much as he was.

"Maybe…maybe this weekend," Yakko sighed. "Slappy said something about trying to take Dot and Skippy to a movie, get them out of the house for awhile."

He hadn't committed to letting her go; he wasn't sure if he wanted her out of his sight for a while yet. Then he shook his head; he had been mentally complaining that half the time Dot wanted him so close he felt like she was attached to him, now he was griping that she might want to go see a movie.

He really had to make up his mind.

" - tell Mister Bugs when he comes back. I am sure he will be delighted with the prospect of showing Mister Foghorn that there is indeed more to golfing than 'hitting that little ball with a stick' and wearing silly pants."

_Sure hope you don't expect me to wear them._

Yakko nodded, listening to Jeeves with one ear while trying to concentrate on Dot, who was watching Max with a puzzled look. Max had stood by the couch the whole time with his hands jammed in his pockets and looking around like he couldn't figure out how he got in the room.

If Plotz was number one on his list, Max was firmly in the number two spot of people he did not expect to see come by to visit Dot. Which just goes to show how much he knew.

"I…OK Max, thank you - "

"Sorry you got hurt and can't play with your pony," Max said, finally taking his hands out of his pockets. Reaching around to his Hammerspace, he pulled a bag and thrust it into a startled Dot's arms. "Here…so you don't get bored. Sitting around hurt sucks."

"I…Thank you! I didn't think someone like you - "

"Just open it."

Dot frowned at being cut off before she shrugged and looked in the bag. Yakko watched as her face went from annoyed to enchanted as she gasped in delight.

Yakko stood on his toes so he could see what he just gave her.

A Breyer horse play set…show jumping ring or something similar…including three horses…

Yakko squinted to see it better but with the way Dot was holding it before waving it around, he was having difficulty making the words out. He decided he didn't much care; it seemed to please her and it wasn't anything dangerous.

"Max!" Dot struggled to sit up, almost hitting Max with her big cast as she winced and grunted. "Oh thank you I love it!"

"This doesn't mean anything - ugh stop!" He moaned as Dot managed to throw her arms around his neck.

"Oh this is perfect! Even this horse looks like 'Center of Attention'…sort of if I squint really hard -

"Yeah, whatever - let go!" Managing to gently take Dot's arms from around his neck he added harshly, "Uh…Jeeves made me do it. Don't tell anyone!" Max snapped, glaring down at her.

"I knew…deep down…I mean really really deep down that you weren't a total asshole like Wakko said!" Dot crowed, looking happy as she fell back into the pillows with a loud squeal, her eyes wide and happy as she stared at the package.

Yakko put his hand over his eyes while shaking his head. Wasn't bad enough that Wakko had decided that was his secret word of the year, now Dot was picking it up.

He wouldn't yell at her - he couldn't - not with a giant cast on her leg. He'd definitely have to tell her to cut it out though.

"Oh yes, I forced him," Jeeves muttered. "I practically had to lead him around by the ear as he demanded that I take him to three separate toy shops to find the perfect one to purchase her. I am a veritable ogre of unreasonableness."

Yakko snorted, watching Max grumble and mutter under his breath before sighing, crouching next to the couch while helping Dot open the package.

"Thanks, to both of you," Yakko said, leaning against the wall. "She loves it; I would never have thought to give that to her. I don't even want to remind her about horses; I'm hoping she won't want to ride again."

"That seems…unlikely," Jeeves answered, turning his gaze from the two children back to Yakko. "Prior to her…incident…she looked perfectly satisfied to be on the back of the pony. I am sure you are familiar with the phrase 'if you are thrown from a horse you must get right back on'?"

Yakko nodded. He was familiar with the phrase and he knew exactly what it meant. Even if you weren't successful the first time, try enough times and you eventually will be.

Unfortunately, Dot couldn't get 'right back on'. The whole cast thing sort of hindered that.

"Do not let your fear for her encumber her life, or your own," Jeeves said, looking from him to Max again as he scrawled something on Dot's cast. "I myself was guilty of it for a time, barely letting Master Montana out of my sight or letting him do anything for fear he would be kidnapped, lost or hurt."

"So? Max is tough - "

"I dare say Miss Dorothy has reserves of strength that you have not even dreamed of," Jeeves replied. "Much like her older brother."

Well…true.

"She's mad at me," Yakko finally muttered.

Jeeves, like Bugs, was an intelligent older person who had either been in or had seen many of the situations and difficulties he was going through himself. He decided to see what the butler had to say; if it matched with what Bugs had said, he might be willing to think about it.

Nothing said he had to change his mind. He could just think.

"She is injured; she is most likely mad at the situation, not you personally."

Exactly what Bugs said. Yakko sighed; he should probably try listening to his friends more often.

"And no doubt she is confused as to why you are barring her from her favorite activity."

"I tried to talk to her before…I don't know," Yakko said, leaning down further on the wall as he began to ramble. It was nice to have someone else to talk to, a third person who wasn't directly involved in the event to get opinions from. "She just got all upset which got me upset…I don't even know if I don't want her to ride. She likes it, but I don't want her hurt and there's nothing I can do to help her and I hate seeing her miserable and depressed…I don't want her disappointed but I don't know how to talk to her to get her to understand."

"It sounds like you have a horse to remount too," Jeeves said sagely, looking up as Bugs entered the foyer and nodding at the rabbit. "Mister Bugs…I trust you are well?"

"What's up doc?" Bugs greeted him, crunching on a carrot while looking in the den at Max and Dot. "Is that…Did he get her a present?" Clasping his hands under his chin Bugs cooed, "That's the nicest thing I've ever seen that maroon do! He's not trying to hit her with it or anything!"

"No he is not. While it does appear doubtful at times, Master Montana is perfectly aware of the basic rules of etiquette and how to behave in polite society."

"Huh," Bugs said, taking a bit out of his carrot. "Who knew?"

Yakko noticed the rabbit was straining to look out the window at his vehicle. After a moment he saw the rabbit give a happy relived sigh and smirked to himself.

He listened as Jeeves and Bugs made small talk, chuckling at Max's face as he continued to talk to Dot before nodding to himself.

Maybe they were right, maybe he was being a bit unreasonable about this. And it was early; Dot had only been hurt a few days ago. It might be too early to think about permanently banning her from a beloved activity.

And Bugs was right. He should get out of the house, even for a few hours, to help clear his head, hang out with his friends, relax. And let Dot do the same thing; much as he'd sometimes like to, he couldn't lock her away from the world forever.

"I'll go."

When Bugs and Jeeves fell silent and looked at him, Yakko said again, "I'll go. Golf - whatever. This weekend if it can be arranged."

"Excellent doc!" Bugs said immediately, clapping him on the back. "You're my partner!" Rubbing his hands together in glee he gloated, "You'll see - you and me - we'll get Foghorn good this time. Shoulda spoke sooner Jeeves; you're gonna be paired with the loudmouth if Bernie doesn't come with us."

Yakko watched them, leery. They both looked absolutely delighted and shared conspiratal smirks, which pretty much told him they had probably been working on this for awhile.

He could be annoyed, that they were all working behind his back to get him out of the house and away from worrying about Dot for a few hours but he decided to be pleased. His friends were trying to help him; there was no harm in that.

That's what friends did; watch each other and jump in to help when the chips were down. He'd do the same for any of them.

XXXXXXXXXX

" – too much - I say - it's a good deal, but way too much fiberglass restoration needed. Don't like messing with it on - "

"But fiberglass has its advantages! It increases the power to weight ratio - "

"Don't need to tell me the advantages son; know a few things about cars myself."

"Oh I know Mr. Foghorn! I'm your biggest fan - "

"Just Foghorn son; told ya that already. Friends don't call me 'mister'."

Wakko crossed his arms and sighed again before shifting. Foghorn had put him on the hood of the car - a Corvette Stingray - 'for safekeeping' he called it. He had been sitting there for what felt like forever and all he had done was watch Foghorn debate with the teenager that had wandered over.

The teenager, a hound that looked several years older than Yakko, said his name was Bill, but they - or Foghorn anyway - could call him 'Clutch'. He had barely looked at Wakko when he was introduced, claiming he didn't watch the new 'kiddie' cartoons but he was one of the biggest fans of Foghorn's work around.

Wakko wanted to call him 'kiss ass' and maybe try to punch him in the mouth but figured that probably wouldn't go over well. He definitely didn't think Foghorn should refer to him as a 'friend' though; they had only just met.

" - but this thing…Might as well be made of Styrofoam! That's great for a bass boat but not - "

" - Oh I agree. But don't you think, with it being so lightweight and - "

"Son, if I'm gonna run upwards of a hundred miles an hour, I wanna have a little protection around me in case of a bad day - "

"We're toons! Not like we're gonna get hurt - "

"We ain't invincible! That one bad day could spring up quicker than a rainstorm in June - "

Wakko winced at the teenager's loud uproarious laughter before raising his eyebrow in chagrin. The saying wasn't that funny.

Foghorn seemed oblivious to the boy's hilarity and Wakko's annoyance, speaking about the durability of a toon and he hoped Clutch never found out how fragile they could sometimes be before going back to talking about automotive restoration and body work.

Wakko sent another annoyed look at Clutch, turned a pleading eye to Foghorn who was happily babbling away before he got bored with both. He instead turned to look through the cracked windshield of the Corvette, studying the interior that definitely needed some work.

He thought the car was cool even in the condition it was in and had kinda hoped that Foghorn would decide to restore it. Foghorn wasn't a big fan of Corvettes though. The rooster said he was a bigger fan of 'good ole American iron'.

Wakko thought Foghorn was making way too much of it but shrugged it off. He was just happy to be there, or had been up until Clutch made an appearance.

He kinda felt bad, in a way. Dot was at Bugs' house, hurt and feeling bad and he was out playing with Foghorn. He felt guilty, but he decided it wasn't totally his fault; Yakko had almost booted him out of Bugs' house so he could go. Dot tried to hit him with a crutch because he was being a pain even though he hadn't been trying to be. He just wanted to help her.

But…he really had wanted to go. This was a big car show; they had been there hours and he still hadn't seen everything.

They had already been inside, to see all the cars that were restored and some of the car makers had their new models for next year on display. There had been tons of vendors selling everything from hot dogs to shirts to car parts and accessories. That had been fun, but Foghorn wanted to go outside, to the big open parking lot out back to see the cars being sold or traded that needed to be restored.

Foghorn had been looking at an old split bumper Camaro, then at a Barracuda but ended up deciding to move on from both of them.

The Camaro wasn't going to be worth fixing up due to the extensive rust damage on the frame. He said they needed a good frame to start with, and the damage on that one was so severe that even someone as small as Wakko could jump on it and break it.

The man selling the Barracuda wanted way too much for the car for the condition it was in, even getting into an argument with Foghorn over the price when the rooster tried to talk him down. He said for what the man wanted he could find one in almost showroom condition and he wouldn't have to fix it up.

He said he knew Foghorn was rich and was just trying to screw him. Foghorn said he might be rich but he wasn't gonna stay that way if he threw his money away on a clunker. Besides, he added it was principle; Foghorn knew his stuff and he wasn't going to let word get out that he was a sucker. Plus when he left he told the man that just because Barracuda's were hot right now because they were featured on some show called 'Nash Bridges' didn't mean he could expect to overcharge that much for the vehicle and get away with it.

They had looked at other cars, in-between talking to other car nuts and the occasional fan that wandered over and wanted an autograph or a picture of them, but that happened a lot when they were at car shows.

Wakko didn't mind that; unlike when they were at the mall or eating out or doing something else and they had to stop what they were doing to talk to a fan, most of the people here were all gear heads like them. They might be fans of their cartoons, but they weren't at the show for that. They were at the show for cars, and they wanted to talk cars, not cartoons. The few that did want to come up and talk about the show they weren't rude to, but Foghorn didn't linger with them either.

If they wanted to talk cars, Foghorn would stand there all day.

Unfortunately, Clutch was both one of those fans that wanted to just linger and bask in the glory of talking to a star and he knew about cars. Wakko rolled his eyes to himself; they'd be there forever.

He was almost sorry he had spotted the old Corvette in the lot. He had wanted to look at it and Foghorn had said sure, but a Chevrolet product or not he didn't foresee them messing with that car. He despised working with fiberglass. He said it was constant work - like around the taillights. The fiberglass was always needing repair because the lights were screwed right into the material. Over time the vibration of the car would rattle them loose.

Or the fact that rocks and debris would fly up from the road, chipping the fiberglass and causing it to need small but constant repairs. With the material being so fragile, he himself felt it simply wasn't worth getting involved with.

When explained that way, Wakko started to agree. They had been about to wander away, to look at a Buick when this teenager had come over, wanting to tell Foghorn how big a fan he was of him and kissing his ass. Foghorn had accepted it like he usually did, until the teenager started to talk about how wonderful he thought Corvettes were - all cars really, asking the rooster's thoughts and opinions on things. And no matter what Clutch had said previously, if Foghorn said something different, he would instantly change his mind and agree.

Then, after he had kissed butt as much as he could, he had begun to tell Foghorn how much he knew about cars and how he helped restore them. Plus, being a fan of Foghorn and cars he constantly read about him in different magazine articles and he could just tell that he and Foghorn had the same interests.

Wakko didn't care that the boy knew who he was or not. Plenty of people knew who he was, even at the car show; lots of them had come by to say hi and take his picture. But, most of them left after awhile.

This guy just stayed and talked and talked.

Wakko sighed; that had been fifteen minutes ago and they were still going round and round about fiberglass. And Foghorn seemed to be enjoying his debate with the teenager, annoying Wakko simply because he had barely spoken to him the whole time.

Growing bored with Clutch who had begun to repeat himself, Wakko looked around, spying several other cars he wanted to look at. He couldn't just wander over though; he would be out of sight of Foghorn and that was a surefire way to get the rooster not only ticked off, but probably leave the show too. That was to be avoided if at all possible.

Wakko looked up, seeing several journalists around, taking pictures and talking to people. He knew there were a bunch of people there from different car magazines - he and Foghorn had been photographed many times at car shows. One time 'Ol'Skool Rodz' had taken a picture of Foghorn carrying him though a show and put it in the magazine.

Of course Foghorn had a few copies of the magazine and seemed thrilled with the whole thing. Yakko found out about it and went out and bought three copies. When he did that Wakko just sighed; Yakko probably had a whole closet full of newspaper clippings and magazines with them in it now.

The journalists were everywhere, but Wakko wasn't too surprised about that. There were rumors that Jay Leno was going to be there, and he was a well known car nut. Wakko had even heard rumors that a few other stars that were big into cars were going to be around, looking for vehicles to swap, parts for their own projects or just to get out and get a little publicity.

Wakko wished that Clutch would go away so they could go back to looking for their own project car. Foghorn might be entertained listening to the teenager but Wakko was finding it frustrating. Right now Clutch was talking about engines and how he could rebuild one in his sleep. Wakko scowled to himself; it wasn't like he was the only one that could rebuild an engine or dismantle a transmission.

Wakko had never done all that or even seen it being done. Some things Foghorn had shown him if he happened to be doing it when Wakko was there. Other stuff he had read about. He bet he could do it though, if given enough time and he wasn't sitting there telling everyone about what he could do. Even if it wasn't much.

Besides, he didn't like this guy…bragging…about what he knew and could do. It was like he was trying to say he was better than other people. Like Wakko - and Wakko figured he was Foghorn's chosen assistant. He had taken Wakko to the show, not this 'Clutch' idiot.

But still, it would probably be better to get away. Just incase Foghorn decided Clutch might be a better helper.

"Foghorn - "

"Quiet boy - talk too much - "

"But Ratchet," Wakko said in a quiet whine, hoping if he appealed to him maybe he could get him moving.

After all, Clutch didn't have a nickname. Well, he did, but it was a stupid nickname.

"Give me a minute," Foghorn said, turning briefly to pat him on the head before turning back to the teenager. "Now son - "

Wakko sighed again when Foghorn began talking to the teenager, who was practically drooling on the rooster. Wakko wasn't sure why the guy was getting so excited about the old Corvette; it wasn't like it was his car he was selling or he'd even be allowed to help rebuild it if Foghorn had decided to buy it.

He started when he heard the boy say that if Foghorn decided to fix up a car - any car - and needed any assistance he could call him. Wakko raised his ears higher, feeling a stab of dread replace his boredom as Clutch said he'd be honored to help and work with such a legend in the industry and he'd love to see the garage setup he had. He'd even love to help him pick out a car - just the idea of going around discussing cars with his idol all afternoon was enough to make this the best car show ever.

Wakko glared at him before looking at Foghorn, who was tapping his foot and looking around. Silently, Wakko was hoping Foghorn would say no, he already had someone who was going to help him pick out a project and help him work on it and he didn't want or need his help and they had to go.

He didn't though; Foghorn didn't appear to be paying attention to anything as he scanned the crowd around him. Wakko really hoped he was bored and was going to just pick him up. Hell, he'd be happy if Foghorn said he wanted to leave the show; right now Wakko wouldn't care. Anything to get away from Clutch.

Clutch was scribbling a number on a scrap of paper and forcing it into the rooster's hand. What made Wakko so upset was the fact that Foghorn accepted it, saying he'd keep him in mind if he needed any help and maybe, someday, perhaps they could catch up and he could see his garage.

Clutch looked ecstatic. Wakko felt his face drop, going from shock to determined as he waited for Foghorn to say he didn't need Clutch's phone number. He was positive that Foghorn would reject it or throw it away or…

Watching the rooster stick it in his pocket, Wakko frowned. He was supposed to be helping Foghorn, or so he thought. Foghorn said he wanted Wakko's help picking out the car he would rebuild next and even told him it would take a long time to restore one, depending on what the shape of it was when they started it.

Had he changed his mind? Wakko hugged himself, growing upset and feeling a small twinge of jealously.

Maybe he didn't want his help anymore. Wakko knew he knew a lot about cars, but he didn't know everything and he sure couldn't do everything. This teenager obviously knew a lot more than he did; just listening to him Wakko could tell that. Maybe Foghorn just wanted more experienced help?

Sliding down off the hood, Wakko dusted off the back of his jeans and tugged on Foghorn's arm. He could show him that he knew a lot about cars too, not just the stuff he showed him because he read books and magazines too. If he could prove it, maybe Foghorn would change his mind, forget this guy and decide to keep him around to help instead.

Wakko glared at the teenager, who was giving his own opinion on things. But he was talking about stuff Wakko knew too - now he could prove to Foghorn he did know enough to help out and he didn't even need to think about replacing him.

" - and I always prefer fuel injection instead of carbureted," the teenager was saying, playing with a gap tool he had taken out of his jeans pocket. "Carbureted is ancient, difficult to work on - "

"No," Wakko said scornfully, sending a critical look to the teenager, who looked surprised that he had spoken and was now regarding him like he was an oily rag. "You just need to be a real mechanic to know how to do it." Puffing his chest out a bit he added, "I've done it before, with Foghorn. It's not hard, just need a good ear - right Foghorn?"

"Yep, yep," Foghorn said, barely looking down at him as he scanned the crowd around them. "Don't like or dislike one better than the other. Just need to know what you're doing - I say - Just need to know what you're doing so you can tweak it correctly."

"Oh I've done it," the teenager said, sending a small sneer to Wakko. "And I can do it myself; I don't need someone to look over my shoulder to make sure I do it correctly."

Wakko frowned a bit at that; he had never done it himself. Foghorn had helped him every time. But if he needed to be helped then he wouldn't be very useful to Foghorn. He wished the other boy hadn't pointed that out because he couldn't think of a witty enough comeback.

Wakko watched in horror as Clutch began talking about something else, drawing Foghorn's attention back to him.

Pointing to an old fifties Buick sedan in need of a lot of 'tender loving care', Clutch said, "Take that old jalopy; hate that points system. First thing I'd do is pull the points and put in a real distributor. No one can ever set the points right and with it being…"

_Fine. He can play kiss up, so can I. Besides, he's wrong. You get better fire out of the old points._

Deciding he accepted the challenge, Wakko interrupted harshly, "Foghorn could! He sets points on an old Henry-J he has all the time and it runs perfect!" Looking at Foghorn for confirmation he added, "And he's taught me how to do it! Right Foghorn?"

Foghorn, who had been looking distracted, patted him on the head and returned to the conversation, saying, "Yeah, caught on quick too." Putting his arm around Wakko he said, "Got the makings of a fine little mechanic here."

Wakko beamed triumphantly at the teenager who looked taken aback slightly at Foghorn's ringing endorsement. Wakko didn't care though; he could practically feel himself growing taller at the praise.

After a second he realized he wasn't growing taller; Foghorn had picked him up again.

"We'll look at the rest of this lot in a second boy; just sit there. Lemme finish up with Clutch here."

Wakko slumped his shoulders. Maybe he hadn't proven himself to the rooster after all. He watched as Foghorn turned back to the teenager, who looked thrilled to not have been forgotten. He turned and gave Wakko a small smirk.

Wakko stuck his tongue out at him. Way too many camera's around to think about giving him the finger. Or that punch he had been dreaming of.

Crossing his arms and trying not to sulk much, Wakko started looking around. Just because Foghorn wanted to sit there and listen to the braggart didn't mean he had to.

Maybe he would find a different car, a better car. Better than some ratty old Corvette that Foghorn didn't like anyway. He wouldn't even have to go too far, not out of sight. If he saw something interesting he could tell Foghorn and maybe lure him away from this jerk.

Grumbling, Wakko slid off the hood of the car, landing nimbly on his feet and realizing that his plan had one fatal flaw.

He was too short to see much. All he could see was a sea of legs, an occasional tail, and mostly unidentified cars stretching the length of the parking lot. Yakko claimed he was gonna grow one day; Wakko just wished he knew when the day was so he could stop being waist high to everyone.

Grumbling quietly while cursing the fact that he was still short he stood on his toes, narrowing his eyes in the bright sunlight to see if he could make out any cars. He could see a GTO in fair shape and Wakko grinned. Those cars were awesome and no one in their right mind didn't like a GTO. Foghorn would definitely approve.

He caught a glimpse of someone taking his picture and he looked up, planning on smiling or waving. He wasn't doing anything else and if it was a fan he should be polite and at least say hi. Not all fans were friend stealers like Clutch.

He saw a couple of human girls giggling and waving at him and he waved back, half bashful and half pleased. Yakko would be thrilled if he were there. Wakko thought he knew his brother's tastes in girls pretty well, and he was sure Yakko would like these two. They had cut off their t-shirts so their bellies were showing and were wearing shorts and heels. One even had a ring in her belly button; he could make out a jewel flashing at him in the sunlight. He briefly pondered if it hurt to do that then wondered if Elmyra would do it.

Probably not; her mother barely let Elmyra get her ears pierced. Max said it was because Elmyra didn't need any more holes in her head.

Wakko thought about it for a moment before deciding he liked the way they looked too. It was way more interesting to look at them than to listen to the teenager talk to Foghorn or watch all the people and journalists swell around him.

Unfortunately, the giggling girls were walking off, snapping another picture of him and the redhead blowing him a kiss. Wakko wrinkled his nose and ducked, just in case anyone saw. He sure didn't want a picture of that in the papers.

He watched them leave though out of the corner of his eye, mentally going through what he liked and didn't like about them. As he followed their movements, he noticed one journalist behind them, talking to a couple of men gathered around an old Packard.

_What the hell?_

Startled, Wakko jumped slightly, when the reporter fully turned, placing where he had seen him instantly.

He watched as the man, horrifyingly familiar with a sly smile on his dark muzzle, nodded as an older human talked to him while he made notes.

Wakko clenched his fists.

Seymour Globe.

Curious despite his annoyance, Wakko watched the reporter. He was taking notes and looking like he was paying attention to the man as he spoke about the Packard. Meanwhile, Seymour's eyes were constantly moving, scanning the crowd, taking note of who was where, his eyes lighting on Foghorn and narrowing briefly.

Frowning, Wakko tugged on Foghorn's arm. Foghorn should know he was there. Dot wasn't there to bully and harass, but the man might make trouble for them.

Now he really wanted to leave.

"Foghorn - "

"Just a minute boy," Foghorn answered before looking down, seeing the anxious look on Wakko's face. "What's the matter? Look like you've seen a ghost - "

"The reporter!" At Foghorn's confused look, Wakko pulled at Foghorn's arm and pointed. "Look! You know - from the horse show - "

"Oh, him," Foghorn said dismissively, picking Wakko up and putting him back on the hood of the car. "Need to open - I say - need to open your eyes Socket. Be observant that is."

"I just - "

"Saw him quite a while ago. Stay there and - "

"But - "

"Be done in a second," Foghorn said, turning from him to address the teenager again. "Ignore the weasel. It's like that skunk boy - more you mess with him, more he's gonna stink."

With that he went back to the teenager who was talking about how the engine alone made the car worth buying. Foghorn nodded, trying to talk but was surprisingly getting cut off by Clutch as he rambled on.

Wakko scowled at both of them, directing more of his annoyance towards Foghorn this time.

Fine. He didn't want to worry about the reporter, but Wakko did. At the very least he was curious; he had felt the reporter glancing at them several times as he worked the crowd around them.

And if Foghorn wanted to talk to Clutch, fine. Wakko told himself he didn't care…much. He could creep around a few cars, hear what the weasel was saying, and probably be back before Foghorn even noticed he was gone. He was too busy talking to this usurper to notice if a bomb went off, let alone him not sitting on the hood of the Corvette. Even if he snuck a few cars down, he wouldn't be out of Foghorn's sight, and that was the rooster's only big rule. He had to be able to see him.

Maybe if he crept around towards Seymour he might find a better car. Wakko smirked to himself; he'd find the perfect car and wouldn't tell Foghorn about it unless he promised to let him help and not Clutch. At least he didn't want to hang around Foghorn because he was a big star. He had wanted to hang around Foghorn because he thought he was cool.

He didn't think that now. Now he just thought he was a dummy.

No he didn't. But if he pretended he did it didn't bother him…as much.

Wakko shook his head before turning, concentrating on the weasel who glanced at him, narrowed his eyes and mouthed something in a threatening manner.

Pursing his lips, Wakko quietly slid down the hood of the car, landing silently on the ground and not attracting Foghorn or Clutch's attention. He gave a small wounded frown towards Foghorn for not even noticing. He must really like Clutch, even though now he really looked like he was growing bored and kept trying to tell the teenager to settle down because he had stuff to do.

Wakko ignored them and steeled his nerves, concentrating on Seymour, who was slowly walking away, stopping near a pair of Nova's that would be excellent parts cars. Wakko glanced at them briefly - there were quite a few Nova's there he had seen. Foghorn could grab a few of them, haul them to his house and dismantle them to create one sweet car. They were Chevrolet's and everyone knew Foghorn -

He shook his head. Foghorn didn't want his opinion - he was too worried about what Clutch liked. Wakko shrugged, pushing down his hurt feelings. He wasn't worried about cars right now; he wanted to know what Seymour was doing. For all he knew he wanted to say something bad about him or Dot. It was possible - the guy wouldn't stop looking at him.

Wakko looked over his shoulder as he carefully walked towards the reporter's back. He could still see Foghorn, who was just nodding now. After a few more steps he looked back again and could still see Foghorn. Nothing to worry about.

He ignored the little voice in his head, telling him this was stupid. Foghorn said ignore the weasel. He wasn't supposed to wander off; he had gotten into a lot of trouble before whenever he had done it.

But he wasn't really wandering off - it was just a few steps really…nothing big, not like sneaking off the lot or sneaking out of Foghorn's house that time, though he had thought the rooster was going to kill him when he chased him down.

Wakko pushed the memories back. This wasn't the same thing - he wanted to make sure…

Oh screw it, he was being nosy. Besides, Foghorn didn't exactly seem like he was interested in him right now. Wakko bet he wouldn't even notice his disappearance.

Getting near the driver's side of the second primer colored Nova, Wakko crouched, using the car to hide himself from Seymour while chewing gently on his lip. With his luck the reporter would accuse him of trying to attack him. Raising his ears high and concentrating, he tried to filter out the sounds of the show around him and just homein on Seymour, who was talking to a few teenagers wearing matching jackets and wearing Converse All Stars with their grease stained jeans.

" - and do you think Mr. Leno - "

"Keep telling you man, we didn't talk to him. We just saw him across the room looking at - "

"Did he look like he was doing anything…suspicious? Engaging in shifty or unethical behavior?"

"Other than the fact that he was way more interested in the Etsel than I am, no," a boy with long stringy hair said, rolling his eyes and nudging his friends. "Just the normal - "

"Ethel? Who's that?" Seymour snapped, his eyes widening in anticipation of a story while his hand practically flew across the pad he was writing on. "Not his wife!" Licking the tip of his pencil eagerly he asked, "So was she pretty? Were they setting up a secret rendezvous? Where? Were they - "

"Damn - 'Kustom Rods' sent you to cover this car show?" Another teenager with long blond hair asked unbelievably. "Etsel! Etsel - it's a Ford you fucking idiot, not a girl."

"Why the hell would 'Kustom Rods' send this clown?" The third boy asked scornfully. "Have to rethink reading that mag if this is the quality of their reporters." Turning to his two friends he said, "Let's go. I heard there's an old Dodge Wayfarer out back that's dieing for some attention; I got a pocket of cash and the skills to modify her into one hell of a street rod."

With that the first teenager roughly pushed Seymour out of his way, stalking past where Wakko was crouching and being followed by his two friends. After a moment, the laughing trio disappeared into the crowd and were lost.

Wakko watched Seymour, muttering furiously under his breath about 'how the story could happen, given enough embellishment' and shrugged. It didn't have anything to do with him or Dot or Foghorn.

Sighing in relief he turned, looking over his shoulder towards the old Corvette and expecting that Foghorn was still talking to that kiss up. After a moment he stared at the space.

The car was still there, an older couple looking at it longingly. But neither of them was a six foot taller rooster.

_Shit…_

After a moment Wakko stood, a feeling of dread sending a cold chill down his spine and panic started to overwhelm him.

_Where was he? He was gone - did he leave? _

Wakko rapidly spun around, wanting to get a three-hundred and sixty-five degree look of his surroundings.

No rooster bellowing and towering over the crowd. Just tons and tons of people he didn't know, blurring into unrecognizable blotches of color as he whirled around, hoping to hear Foghorn yelling his name and telling him to get his fuzzy butt back there.

He didn't.

Alarm and fear racing through him, Wakko ran towards the Corvette, gulping back cries of panic and terror. As he ran he knew he was stepping on people's feet as he dashed around them and ignored the voices calling him 'rude' or asking if he needed help as he dashed towards the vehicle.

He knew he shouldn't have gone off, he knew it. He had been questioning the wisdom of it but he went ahead and did it anyway. He should have just sat there and listened to Foghorn and the other guy talk.

Panicked, he reached the Corvette and circled it, hoping that Foghorn had just gone to the back and was bending down checking out the rear end for additional damage.

He wasn't.

Wakko wildly looked around, knowing he probably looked crazy and not caring. He put a hand to his head to try to still his unsettling thoughts and make some attempt to calm himself down.

How the hell could he have lost a giant talking toon rooster? It wasn't like there were that many of them walking around Sacramento.

He felt somebody grab his shoulder and he turned, seeing a human man who was asking him if he needed the lost child booth but Wakko shook him off, backing away as he did so. Someone else behind him said 'it's that dog kid from TV - hey man do a gookie!'. Another person yelled where was Dot and Yakko and Wakko backed away even further.

He was recognized, that wasn't a big surprise. But if he was being recognized now, someone - toon no doubt - would soon remember that he wasn't supposed to be outside the studio without a chaperone. They might call TIS.

Or worse, Yakko.

Wakko gulped fearfully. Yakko would have a holy nut if he found out about this.

Plus he'd look like a total jerkoff if anyone saw him sitting in the lost kid booth. He bet Elmyra wouldn't be impressed with that, a picture of him in the paper, a headline screaming that he had gotten lost and scared at a car show and had to be held and cuddled like a crying baby until someone found his Mommy or something. He bet that idiot Seymour would take the picture.

Wakko dashed behind an Omega to get away from that crowd, trying to make his way to the main strip that was running through the car show. He looked up and saw Seymour, a wicked smile on his face, snap off a few pictures in rapid succession before walking towards him.

He'd almost rather see TIS.

Sending the man a look of terror mixed with agitation and anger, Wakko ran behind a row of cars and trucks, almost stopping at one cool looking pickup frame that caught his attention before toon speeding to the end. If he ever found Foghorn he'd tell him about it. Foghorn liked his muscle and classic cars a lot, but he liked pickup trucks just as much, if not more.

If he was still there. Maybe Foghorn had left him…not that he had a habit of doing that but Wakko supposed it was possible.

He wasn't sure why, but he always had a small little fear he would get left behind one day, that he would turn around and Foghorn would be gone. Or Yakko. Like Dad had done; just run in a door and he'd be gone, or Dot would be…

He had said something about it once, when he and Yakko had just been hanging out on the couch after Dot had gone to bed. He hadn't even really meant to; most times the worry was in a distant corner of his mind, mostly forgotten. He never felt unloved or unwanted and it just normally wasn't a cause for concern. He had no idea why he would have such an unreasonable fear.

Every now and then though it cropped up, especially if he heard or saw something that was similar to the fear he had never quite forgotten, of running in the diner and seeing Dad gone and Dot sitting in a booth alone and frightened.

This particular night the unspoken worry had come forward because of a rerun episode of 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air' that had come on, when the Fresh Prince's father had come back after deserting him, then deserting him again at his uncle's house.

Wakko had just said he knew how Will felt, sometimes. Dad had left them, and Dad's weren't supposed to do that, not really. Just that the Fresh Prince's father was worse because he came back then left him for a second time. At least their father had only left them once; he had quietly added that whatever had gone through his mind or gotten him angry or whatever never went through Yakko's mind too.

After he had spoken he had turned, waiting for a response from Yakko, a joke or something like his brother usually said. Yakko was almost always ready with a quick comment or witty one liner.

Instead, Yakko had been staring at him with a weird funny look on his face and his lips puckered out slightly.

Wakko had felt stupid and self conscious and he had told his brother never mind he was just being retarded. He had been worried he insulted him. Yakko had never left them, not once…had probably never even thought about it. Saying his stupid unreasonable fears out loud might have hurt Yakko's feelings.

After an uncomfortable few seconds in which Wakko had fidgeted on the couch and been almost ready to run off in embarrassment Yakko had grabbed him in a tight hug and just held him for awhile, turning off the television and saying he was happy that Wakko would even tell him that.

Wakko had been happier that Yakko hadn't been mad at him, so he had just let Yakko clutch him for awhile.

Then Yakko had started talking, saying he understood what Wakko was saying but he hoped that Wakko understood what he was going to say.

He wasn't Dad; he would never be Dad. Unlike Dad he would never ever abandon them. Dad didn't even deserve the title 'Dad'. Yakko said he just used it for lack of anything clean to call him; he couldn't even call him a man. A real dad - or man - didn't abandon his family for any reason.

Yakko then added he loved him and Dot too much to just walk off and hand them to someone else. Whether they liked it or not, they were stuck with him, now and forever.

Wakko thought that was nice even if it did kinda sound like something out of some silly girl show. It had helped alleviate the small fears he occasionally had. He never really considered it stuck before. He had always hoped that Yakko didn't think he was 'stuck' with them -

He shook his head, annoyed that he was reminiscing about a conversation he had with Yakko a few weeks ago when he was lost now.

Wakko took a deep breath, trying to think calmly.

He's the one that wandered off; maybe Foghorn didn't even realize he wasn't there and just walked off, thinking he was following right behind him and didn't notice because he was too busy talking to Clutch the kiss-up.

Or maybe Foghorn did leave him…

Worry and fear making him act before thinking, Wakko went into Toonspeed, feeling the wind rush through his fur and making his ears whip out behind him. He darted past a dozen or so cars before he realized that he was almost at the main strip and he was going to pass it and crash out of the fence on the other side if he didn't stop.

Ungracefully, he skidded to a stop, trying to use his tail to wrap around the bumper of a Mustang and narrowly avoiding crashing into a group of people gathered around an old Rolls Royce.

He missed and instead went face first to the ground, feeling the pavement chew into his palms and knees while again hearing people around him talking about some little boy getting hurt.

Wincing and blinking back tears of fear and frustration and annoyance with himself, Wakko gingerly picked himself off the ground. He looked around wildly, ignoring the stinging pain in his hands and knees and desperately wished he had just listened and stayed where he was.

He always wandered off - sometimes not even on purpose he just got distracted easy - but it always ended badly for him. He always got spanked, he always got grounded, he always ended up with tons of extra chores and lines to write and it was always just a stupid idea and he mentally swore he would never ever do it again if he could just find Foghorn and go home.

Inhaling to steady his nerves, Wakko started to head towards the left, to begin to go down the rows of cars and look at every one, hoping he would see Foghorn. Even if he was mad at him - if he noticed he was gone - at least he wouldn't be…

Lost. Panicked. Scared.

Not that he would admit it out loud.

Seymour was stalking him from the right, stealthy creeping up on him like a wolf on a bunny. Not wanting to deal with the man at the moment, Wakko began heading to the left, using an old Super Bee in need of a front end as cover and ducking behind it when a crowd walked between them.

Crouching low behind the trunk, Wakko watched as Seymour looked around and began heading down the row of cars, his head making a rapid scan of the crowds as he looked left and right. After a few seconds he disappeared from sight and Wakko felt himself relax slightly. With him gone he could concentrate on finding Foghorn and not have to worry about a tail, other than his own.

Wakko let out a yelp of surprise when he felt a sharp smack on his rear end right before he felt himself being lifted in the air by the scruff of his neck.

Panicked and thinking that TIS was there somewhere and he was caught, he mentally screamed for Foghorn to show up and kicked backwards, hoping to hit whoever grabbed him in the stomach. If they dropped him he was out of there…

Still dangling in midair, he tried to crane his head around right as a familiar voice with a warning tone said 'boy…' before trailing off.

Wakko turned to look, wincing under the glare Foghorn was giving him. He breathed a sigh of relief even as he looked at the annoyed rooster. A pissed off Foghorn wasn't great by any means, but it was still better than TIS. Probably.

Holding him so he was at eye level, Foghorn demanded, "I got one - I say - I got one request when I take you out with me boy, and that's don't wander out of sight! I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off - which is saying something cuz I'm a chicken!"

"Sorry, sorry, don't kill me," Wakko muttered, feeling his ears droop in embarrassment as they attracted more attention at Foghorn's yelling. "I didn't mean to - "

"Told you to sit your fuzzy rear end on that Corvette boy!" Foghorn rumbled loudly. "Think I just wanted you to sit there and pretend to be a hood ornament? You just waltz off…"

Wakko heard him lecturing him angrily, and cowed slightly under the scolding. He was still happy to see him though; Foghorn hadn't left him, he was no longer unescorted, he wasn't going to be hauled off to a home…though the rooster was no doubt going to replace him with Clutch now.

But still, Foghorn hadn't left the show and forgotten about him. He chose to be happy about that, even if the thought that he was being replaced by that slimy kiss ass made him choke and gasp like he had just taken a kick to the stomach.

Delighted and ignoring the fact that Foghorn was getting louder, Wakko threw his arms around the rooster's neck and held on like TIS was trying to pull him off.

"Sorry - "

"Don't be sorry - I say - don't be sorry! Stop doing it!" Foghorn said quietly, squeezing him tightly as he grumbled in his ear.

"I didn't mean - "

"Scared about ten years outta me when I turned and didn't see you there! One of these days you're gonna wander off and we ain't gonna be able to find you."

"I just - "

"Run all over this show looking for you! Every kid here looks like you from the rear, especially with that cap of yours. Grabbed the wrong kid - I say - grabbed the wrong kid…got knocked upside my skull by some lady with her purse because she thought I was grabbing her kid."

Wakko almost snickered at the image. He managed to cough it back down; Foghorn didn't seem too mad anymore, no sense in getting him angry again because he laughed at him.

"I'm sorry," Wakko whimpered, partly to cover his amusement at Foghorn's ongoing description of the woes he faced looking for him, but mostly because he really was sorry. He hadn't meant to really worry the rooster.

Well, maybe a little. Foghorn had been ignoring him.

"It's forgiven boy, always is. Know I'm gonna regret asking, but what caught your little eye this time?" Foghorn asked as he gave a small sigh. He leaned against an old Ford pickup, still holding Wakko and looked down at him.

Wakko knew he was expecting an answer and tried to think of something clever that wouldn't make him sound like a complete idiot who was sorta jealous…OK, not that jealous.

He could tell him about the pickup, show it to him. Then he wouldn't want to know why he wandered off anyway. Foghorn wouldn't be able to figure out if he dashed off for one reason or another.

"I saw a car…a truck, a cool one and went to look. Wanna see it? It's a Chevrolet, maybe fifties…a fleet side…and neat…" Wakko said, letting his voice trail off and hoping he had made it sound enticing enough that it would distract Foghorn from further questioning.

Foghorn raised one eyebrow, sighed, and stated, "In a minute. Wanna know what's really got you upset and fidgeting around first. And don't tell me it's some car - you're an open book; easy to read between the lines with you."

Damn it. So much for bluffing his way out of it.

How come he and Yakko and half the other adults he knew could always figure out when a kid was trying to skirt around the truth? It was like a super power that all adults - and Yakko - managed to get.

Sighing, Wakko shrugged and decided to just come out with it. No sense in pissing off Foghorn more.

"I wanted to see what that reporter was doing - "

"Told you not to worry about him - "

" - and I didn't think you'd notice and - "

"Not notice?"

Wakko cringed back further in Foghorn's grip at the look the rooster gave him.

OK…it was a stupid thought. Funny, it seemed like a legitimate worry at the time.

"How could I not notice - I say - how could I not notice my little buddy not being beside me?" Foghorn demanded.

"Um…" Wakko faltered for a moment, trying to dream up some excuse for his thinking, however lame it might be. "You were busy talking to that Clutch jerk and wanting him to help you instead and - "

Sighing, Foghorn said, "Socket, I swear, sometimes I look into your eyes and I can actually see the back of your head." Standing up and walking towards the main drag he asked, "How many of these people did I bring to the show? Or let spend the night at my house huh? You think I gave nicknames to all these people?"

"I don't know," Wakko muttered, feeling stupid. Unable to still his tongue he muttered, "I just thought you left…like…and I…then…never mind."

Stopping and holding Wakko up so he could look directly into his face Foghorn said, "Look boy…Wakko…I know - I say - I know you've had some troubling moments in your short little history, but I can promise you no matter what I ain't leaving you. Not now, not ten years from now. I ain't leaving - know you got a hard head but has that gotten through your skull yet?"

Surprised at the intensity in Foghorn's voice but pleased all the same, Wakko nodded.

"Clutch - "

"Gone; booted him the moment I noticed you missing." Pulling the brim of Wakko's hat down over his eyes Foghorn added, "You don't gotta be jealous, you're the most important thing - "

"I wasn't jealous!" Wakko protested. At Foghorn's amused look he muttered, "All right, fine, a little bit - "

"Don't have nothing to be jealous of Socket; told ya, ratchet's gotta have its socket. And besides, I don't care what that sorry excuse of a gear head says, I want your help in picking out one of these rust buckets to work on."

Wakko beamed; he got in trouble and he still was gonna get to help pick out the car.

The truck…

" - just being nice to a fan. Only talked to him a few minutes - "

"Felt like forever."

"Now you know how long it felt when I was running around here looking for you - Oh for the love of gravy," Foghorn broke off with a moan when he turned and saw that his picture was being taken.

Wakko felt himself being lowered to the ground, but stopped halfway.

Instead, Foghorn said, "Nah, better put you where you can't wander off again." After that he lifted Wakko over his head, setting him on his shoulders.

Wakko preferred that - he could angrily glare down at the smirking weasel, who was snapping off pictures as he spoke. The weasel didn't seem so keen on stalking him when he had Foghorn there.

"That was beautiful," Seymour said with an ugly sneer. "Taking care of the boy…being all loving…maybe a little too loving - "

"Coulda swore we got rid of you," Foghorn drawled, looking down his beak at the weasel.

"Got rid of me?" Seymour scoffed, raising an eyebrow and regarding Foghorn for a moment. "You'll never get rid of the press! And remember; we're the reason you're famous - "

"Thought I did most of that with my talent and charm - "

" - most stars are more favorable to talking once - "

"Told ya last time - I say - told ya last time, find me a real reporter and I'll be more than happy to speak to them."

"You have absolutely no good sense or manners - "

"Best substitute for good manners is fast reflexes," Foghorn countered, flexing an arm and showing a bulging rock hard bicep to the startled reporter, who backed up several feet. "Wanna test yours?"

Wakko smirked at Seymour, who cut his eyes upwards to him again.

Replacing the film in his camera while keeping a wary eye on Foghorn, Seymour asked, "So, who you and your little partner in crime gonna slam into an ambulance now?"

"All me; don't blame the boy - "

"But I wanted to!" Wakko shouted, feeling a bit braver now that he was towering over the weasel. "And I wouldn't have been as nice - "

"Boy just…just hush up there," Foghorn said, patting Wakko's knee, which Seymour took a picture of, causing the rooster to frown. "How much film you plan on wasting on us?"

"As much as necessary to get a story. And I see one here, with all the - "

"And when all else fails, you'll just make one up," Foghorn shrugged. "Know your type. Was hoping that ambulance door woulda knocked some sense into you - "

"Is that a threat?" Seymour asked, giving a small leer to the two of them. "Are you stating that not only did you assault my person - and got the police and the rest of Hollywood to cover for you, you are now implying you would beat - "

Wakko glared at the weasel and was about to speak but Foghorn silenced him before speaking himself.

"I'm not implying - I say - I'm not implying. Sorry to say you didn't catch on to that," Foghorn said before turning, giving the man a large wicked grin of his own.

"Knew it, I just knew it! Your big mouth just gave me the - "

"I'd tell ya more, but I got the boy with me. Gotta set a good example, show him my -"

"I smell my big scoop now," Seymour drawled, taking another picture, this time of himself before turning back to Foghorn. "You - "

"Son, biggest scoop coming your way is Vanilla flavored," Foghorn retorted with a hoot of laughter, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a quarter. Flipping it at the weasel before turning and beginning to walk away towards several vendor stands he added, "Get yourself an ice cream and go away boy - you bother me."

"Pretty lippy now!" Seymour screamed at his turned back. "Bet you'll think differently when you see your name on the front page of Tasty Toon Gossip with the words - "

"As long as it's not saying I'm a cannibal for my advertising campaign at Kentucky Fried Chicken a few years ago, I think I'll live," Foghorn called back cheerfully, even giving the weasel a wave before looking up at Wakko. "And you - gonna take care of you once and for all…Put an end right now to - "

Stiffening and wondering what punishment he was going to get Wakko said, "Huh? You said I was forgiven!"

"Forgave you, ain't forgiving that hat," Foghorn snarled disdainfully, looking up to glare at the dark hat on Wakko's head like it had just said something filthy to him. "Every kid here has a Dodgers hat."

Wakko's hands flew up to his hat, worried and wondering if Foghorn was going to make him get rid of it. It wasn't his fault they were a popular team.

"Here we go; always got one of these things around these shows," Foghorn said happily, clasping his hands in glee.

Wakko looked; it was a vendor kiosk, full of plain ball hats and sweatshirts and t-shirts and a few beige tote bags that sorta looked like the one Dot kept all her art junk in. The sign above claimed they could adorn almost anything with a logo or picture of your choice, provided it wasn't copyright protected.

Reaching up and putting Wakko on the ground beside him Foghorn ordered, "And stand beside me. You wander off again Socket and I'll - "

"I won't! Promise!" Wakko insisted. "Can I keep my hat? Please?" He begged.

Rolling his eyes Foghorn turned, speaking to the lady inside the cart. Wakko raised his ears as high as he could, straining to hear some part of the conversation as he stood on his toes, trying to see over the counter. All he could hear was the dull roar of the show around him and a weird clicking and whirling sound. Foghorn said something to the lady, reached down, put his hand on Wakko's head for a minute between his ears before turning back to the woman and speaking again.

Shaking his ears out and tapping his foot impatiently, Wakko started looking around the show, seeing a couple other interesting looking cars. Some weren't in bad shape and a few others weren't very old. He didn't think they were quite as cool looking as the mystery truck, but they would be worth looking at. Looking was half the fun -

"Here, got ya a present boy. Take that thing off."

Wakko spun back around to look at Foghorn, who was holding a blue ball cap down to him. He frowned; he liked blue - it was one of his favorite colors - but there were a lot of kids running around with blue caps too.

Sighing, he reached out for it, his frown of displeasure turning into a delighted grin when he saw a large grey socket embroidered on the front.

"Consider it your working on cars hat…at least wear it at the shows," Foghorn said. Then he muttered, "Gotta be able to keep track of you some way."

Wakko almost pointed out that he was probably the only kid there with a long black tail, but decided not to. Foghorn might realize that was probably true and take his hat.

With a large grin, Wakko took off his worn but beloved Dodgers hat, replacing it with the new one. Foghorn had even had the woman cut holes for his ears.

"You gotta get one too," Wakko pointed out. At Foghorn's startled look he pointed out, "A socket's gotta have its ratchet."

From the look Foghorn shot him, Wakko had a feeling that Foghorn was just humoring him, but the rooster turned, speaking to the woman again.

"Fine boy - we'll be a matched pair. Get me a hat and we'll go see this mystery truck of yours that's causing you to barely notice the rest of the cars here."

XXXXXXXXXX

June 7, 1996

" - and yeah, I appreciate the heads up, but I ain't too impressed doc! You know…yeah, I know you know and I know…I still can't believe even you…fine, fax it! But you know this is false and yet…Oh yeah, you can bet I'm gonna…I gotta talk to…He was harassing a couple of little kids!"

Yakko, arms crossed and leaning on the door frame of Bugs' office, cocked his head to the side slightly as he listened to the rabbit angrily talk to someone on the phone. He couldn't hear the entire conversation, just Bugs' part, but Yakko could tell whatever was being said on the other end wasn't something good. The rabbit was practically steaming.

He shifted slightly, feeling awkward as he looked around Bugs' immaculate home office, taking in the numerous awards and plaques on shelves that were already crammed with books on all manner of subjects.

Yakko's eyes fell on a drawing Dot had done for Bugs, of the rabbit playing golf and smirked. The rabbit had been delighted and immediately hung it on the wall in his office, stating he would find a frame for it. Dot had been pleased, declaring she would draw a whole bunch more pictures for Bugs' walls because they were too bare.

By the time Dot got out of her cast, Bugs would have more drawings than wall space. Yakko was pretty sure the wall behind Bugs' credenza was going to resemble the refrigerator at the tower.

Hearing Bugs still typing away on his keyboard, Yakko cut his eyes to him and watched.

Yakko had never considered buying a computer before. On the rare occasion he had needed one he simply used one on the lot. Certain members of the staff would look the other way if he hopped on one for a few minutes, especially in the photo lab. He had taken to spending an exorbitant amount of time there, learning quite a bit from 'Snaps', the burnt-out human that ran it.

If he couldn't use the computer there for some reason, Bugs would let him use his. Yakko knew many toons didn't have computers; while hardly new technology, a computer in every home hadn't really caught on with the toons as much as the humans, who eagerly grabbed each new model as it came out.

Yakko could hardly see the point; they were almost obsolete before the package was open. Bugs though was always cutting edge and he had a computer both in his office at home and the one at the lot.

Hearing Bugs beginning again to get loud with the person on the other end of the phone, Yakko shifted his gaze to the large open bay windows across from him. If he strained hard, he could hear birds singing, the occasional car going down the well shaded street; sniffing he could smell the grass and flowers…

He was trying to concentrate on anything other than Bugs' conversation. This one was…uncomfortable. Yakko almost felt like he could feel a sense of impending danger coming from the conversation, and he could only hear parts of it.

Usually, if Bugs got a phone call while he was in his office Yakko left, figuring the rabbit deserved his privacy. Bugs gave it to them while they were in his home; they could return the courtesy.

When Bugs' private line rang, Yakko had stood from his chair and headed towards the door, intending on going to check on Dot who was camped out on the couch watching video tapes. Bugs had three phone lines in his house; not many people had the phone number for the office.

When he had gotten to the doorway though Bugs had called to him, the phone to his ear and telling Yakko to wait, holding a finger up while he began to firmly tell whoever called him that they were full of shit and that never would have happened.

That alone caused Yakko to pause; Bugs didn't swear often. If it was something bad enough to make him start though, Yakko wasn't sure he wanted to stick around. Whatever it was would be sure to put the rabbit in a foul mood. From what bits of conversation Yakko was picking up, he knew that it somehow involved him and his family which made him anxious.

Too bad; it had been a nice leisurely day. They had gone over a paper Yakko had written for him since Bugs was still a taskmaster when it came to schoolwork. They had played with Dot for a bit before Bugs had dropped off some tapes for her, saying they were some different cartoon shows from Japan. Plotz had given the tapes to Bugs, wanting his opinion of the shows since there was a chance that one day Warner Brothers might want to run the show in the United States.

Apparently one of them was a giant hit in _Birejji-Shitae _and would begin airing to the humans there the next year. A video game of the show was already out and was proving to be a smashing success, earning someone gobs of cash.

Dot had seemed flattered to be asked by Bugs for her opinion, and had happily settled in to watch all the shows. Yakko didn't catch what the show was - something to do with capturing small animals and cramming them into balls - but he surmised it was thrilling for his little sister. Two minutes into the show - before he and Bugs had left the den - Dot had been happily cooing and chortling on the couch in delight, her little hands clasped under her chin in euphoric ecstasy.

Yakko was happy - the show looked extremely boring, but throw enough cute fuzzy creatures into it and Dot would be delighted. She had been growing bored; now that most of the aches and pains of her injury were subsiding Dot wanted to get up, go outside and play, but on crutches she couldn't do much more than sit on the porch in a chair and mope about how she couldn't do anything.

Wakko had come home from spending the night at Foghorn's, probably more hyper than before he had left but he seemed happy enough. Apparently they had found some half wrecked truck that they had plans to work on. And Wakko had brought Dot back a ball cap she was wearing, pink with a horse embroidered on it. Even on the couch drawing or watching television she was wearing it.

" - and yeah, don't count on any favors from me…he's my best friend doc! You'd have to be stupid to think…I'm the one that recommended them - I know damn good and well they would never…I don't care who he claims to have interviewed…No I'm not consenting to an interview! The only one I'm talking to is an attorney!"

Yakko inhaled so sharply that he started coughing.

_Attorney? What the hell is going on?_

The last attorney Yakko had spoken to had been when Goose died. Yakko turned to look in the corner of Bugs' office, gazing at the grandfather clock.

After being notified that Goose had mentioned him in her will, he had been puzzled and he hated to admit it, a bit hesitant. Yakko honestly thought that whatever she had left him she should rightfully give to Charlotte. That was her daughter, her only remaining family - she deserved it.

Yakko had been dumbstruck when told that Goose had left the grandfather clock to him. While flattered, he honestly didn't know what to do with it. While they had some extra space in the living room at the tower, it would take up a lot of space. Not to mention getting it up there would be a nightmare he didn't even want to begin to imagine.

Luckily, Bugs, who had escorted him to the reading, had been kind enough to offer to let him leave it at his place until he moved out of the tower. The rabbit had rightfully pointed out that he wouldn't live there forever.

Yakko had felt compelled to answer that with a hearty 'damn right'. When he was legally able to do so, he planned on moving from the tower, siblings in tow, but not before he doused both the hideous yellow couch and the bunk beds in gasoline and setting them both ablaze.

After that, Yakko had every intention of going furniture shopping and getting the biggest, most monstrous bed he could possibly find.

But, when the happy day came, when he had his own place and could decorate it to his choosing, he had his first piece of furniture - the grandfather clock.

He gazed at it for a moment. Along with the clock, the attorney had also handed him an envelope, addressed to him and was told that it contained a short note written by Goose sometime before her death.

Yakko still hadn't read it. He had meant to, but had wanted to do it when he was alone but always kept getting distracted, something came up, the camping trip, Dot getting hurt…

He sighed. It was still sitting in his Hammerspace, waiting to be read. If whatever was happening right before his eyes wasn't a big deal - a hope that was fading as he continued to listen to Bugs' conversation - he would try to read it tonight.

Bugs sighed before rubbing the space between his eyes and saying, "Yeah, thanks for that anyway. I gotta call him, then Plotz…talk to Yakko…no you can't send that jackass over here to interview him either!"

Yakko stiffened, his thoughts about Dot evaporating at Bugs' words.

Something had happened, that was obvious…regarding him? What the hell had he done? He had barely left the house, concentrating on staying by Dot's side, though he could tell she was starting to get a bit weary with his constant hovering. He was trying to back off, let her have her space but it was so damn hard.

The doctor said she was healing well and was progressing normally but Yakko had horrid visions of her falling off the couch or aggravating the injury because she slipped using the crutches or something similar. Probably foolish thoughts, but they were still there.

He frowned, uncrossing his arms as Bugs slammed the phone down with enough force that if he squinted, Yakko could see small cracks around the base of the receiver.

"Of all the rotten…"

Yakko watched Bugs, who was muttering and glaring at the phone like he planned on hurling it across the room. Since Bugs wasn't normally prone to temper tantrums, Yakko decided it might be wise to handle this delicately. If he didn't, Bugs might throw him across the room instead.

"Sit down Yakko," Bugs said, gesturing towards the chair he had vacated when the phone first rang. "Let's talk for a second doc."

_And that phrase never starts a good conversation._

Curious and with an overwhelming feeling of apprehension, Yakko returned to his chair, settling into the buttery smooth leather. Bugs teepeed his hands in front of his face for a moment before giving a shuddering sigh, looking deep in thought.

Yakko waited, watching Bugs' face as the rabbit thought. He was very rarely at a loss for words, and every time he had been it had never been the harbinger of anything good. And as angry and hateful as the rabbit was looking now, Yakko had a feeling this was shaping up to be disastrous.

Not able to stand the tense silence any longer, Yakko finally asked, "Come on Bugs, let me in on the secret. Maybe I can help?"

"Don't think you can help doc, not this time." With a very hollow sounding laugh that turned bitter Bugs said, "I'm not sure if I can help them."

_Who?_

Tapping his finger on the armrest in nervous agitation, Yakko said, "Well let me try; come on, how many times have you helped me? And I can't say either way until you tell me - "

"Oh, I want to tell you Yakko; I need to. I just don't know how," Bugs said, standing and walking to the window. Clasping his hands behind his back and gazing at the yard, he stated firmly, "Until we know for sure, you don't repeat this doc. This is gonna get ugly, and I'm trusting that you're adult enough to handle this, maybe even help out." Still not looking at Yakko he added, "Do you remember a few years ago, when that whole shebang about your past came out, how the papers twisted something innocent into something criminal and filthy? Or took your situation prior to the lot and wrote it so out of context that even you had trouble distinguishing truth from fiction?"

Feeling his face twist into an angry scowl, Yakko answered, "Yeah, Trust me, it's not something you ever forget." Shaking his head to clear the ugly memories he added, "What's that got to do with anything? That's been cleared up - it's not being brought up again?"

"No, not that. Not really even you, though this could have a snowball effect, catching all of us in it and ruining a good person." Sighing before turning and angrily stalking back towards his deck, he directed an angry gaze to the fax machine before saying, "But I want to make sure you understand how a rumor, or something taken out of context can hurt - "

"I do." Feeling a hard knot forming in his throat Yakko swallowed roughly before saying, "Just tell me."

"That reporter - and I use that word loosely - from the horse show. The one that jumped in the ambulance - you remember him?"

Yakko nodded before saying, "Yeah, wanted to pound him into the dirt but chances were he'd end up needing the ambulance more than Dot and she would have had to wait." Shrugging, he added, "What's that got to do with anything. Last I heard he didn't get any pictures; Foghorn…uh…convinced him to destroy his film, let the story go - "

"Well, he did that doc, but with these guys, these tabloid writers, sometimes, when they let one story go, they start fishing for a new one. And, if they don't find one, they create one. Especially if it's about a star and they can find enough pictures to back up a false allegation."

"Oh sure," Yakko said easily. "Like saying Darkwing's an ace private detective now - I read that. Has to be false - "

"Sadly, that's probably more true than we'll ever know." Leaning back in his chair and beginning to twirl a carrot in his fingers Bugs said, "This though…I'm not saying this is true; in fact I'm vehemently denying it. But, I have to tell you anyway."

_So quite stalling and do it already. You've chewed it up more than your carrot._

"But I trust you. Some part of me will probably always see you as the little boy - "

_Little boy?_

Yakko managed to choke back his indignant shriek of outrage.

" - who accidentally arrived on the lot, but I know you're not. You're old enough to formulate your own opinion of the story, then decide if you want to help or stand back. I respect your decision either way."

Yakko wasn't sure if he should be delighted that Bugs just basically said he trusted him as an adult to make an adult decision, or terrified because it was serious enough that Bugs was asking for his help.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"That phone call I got was from an editor I know down at TTG; gives me heads up on a lot of stories that could be…damaging…or embarrassing if they come out. He can't stop them from going to press, but he can make a phone call, give me some warning to notify people, plan a counter attack if needed…always good to have people on the inside, especially in cases like this…"

Bugs trailed off and continued to twirl the carrot in his hands. Yakko tensely waited for him to continue speaking, hoping the rabbit would get to the point eventually. Yakko felt like he was getting ready to go to war.

What the hell story could the tabloids possibly have that could have Bugs so stressed?

"Tomorrow, a story's going to be printed - a bad one," Bugs clarified. "That reporter…Globe I think his name was, got some pictures - nothing horrible that I can tell, but you know by now, take a picture and put the wrong wording on it and you got a whole new meaning, and the nastier and cruder it is, the more it's gonna sell." Looking at the fax machine again, he said, "This time Foghorn's strapped to the bulls-eye, not you - "

"Foghorn?" Yakko snorted, instantly relaxing.

He had heard Foghorn say before that he was hardly worried about 'bad press'. From what he could tell, half the time Foghorn barely remembered he was a 'star'; much like Bugs he seemed to take the entire fame thing in stride.

"Yeah, Foghorn; Porky too. And it seems me. Look, I'll just come right out and say it - "

_About time._

"The paper's publishing a supposed expose on how 'stars' get 'star' treatment," Bugs said, his voice going from matter of fact to furious in a matter of seconds. "There's also going to be…allegations…of supposed misconduct with minors - "

"W-W-What?" Yakko choked, hearing himself stuttering like Porky.

"Told ya it was bad doc," Bugs said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk. "Apparently the reporter overheard some conversation with Foghorn and Wakko, got a few pictures - "

"No…no, no, no," Yakko said, shaking his head and feeling an icy hand begin to claw at his heart as Bugs continued to talk.

_Not happening…no way I'm hearing - _

"There's another photo, Porky and Dot, at the swimming pool that's gonna - "

Yakko hastily stood out of his chair so fast he almost fell forward and twirled his arms briefly to steady himself before demanding, "When? Holy shit! I always…If they - "

"This is the part I told you I needed you to be grown up for Yakko," Bugs snapped, looking annoyed and tense. "If - "

"Dot…Wakko…Now - "

"Myself; I think it's a crock. All of it. But you haven't known Foghorn as long as I have, Porky either, so - "

"I don't think…I mean I never even heard anything - "

"I didn't expect you would. This was dreamed up in some reporter's mind for a big story and - I expect - a bit of revenge," Bugs explained, looking somewhat calmer. "But…you don't look so good doc."

"Would you, if you were told - "

"I was just told, remember? I not only have to worry about the reputation of two children, I have to worry about two of my closest friends being dragged through the mud and their reputations ruined unjustly."

Yakko frowned. His first priority was to Wakko and Dot…

As embarrassed as he was to admit it, he wanted to talk to them, just make sure…he wouldn't be doing his job if he didn't. Right?

He ran a hand through his hair, ashamed that he was even entertaining the doubts. Foghorn and Porky? They adored Wakko and Dot. The story was crap; it'd be like saying Bugs was doing something inappropriate. And the rabbit had mentioned that his reputation was on the line.

"Look doc," Bugs said gently, looking like he was struggling to control himself. "Why don't you just put your own worries to rest, go talk to them - "

"I don't think - "

"No you don't. You'd feel better if you checked though, wouldn't you?"

Yakko hesitated for a moment before solemnly nodding. He hoped Bugs didn't take it the wrong way…they were his friends and what was being said about them was a terrible accusation to make, one of the biggest insults around…

"Go talk to them; you don't have to tell them what's going on, not yet. Might be wise to see what this article says first," Bugs added, gesturing to the fax machine which was now ringing loudly. "You do that, let me see this, make a few phone calls…

Yakko nodded as Bugs stood, looking at the fax machine.

After a moment Bugs came forward and put a hand on his shoulder, saying, "Thanks doc; for this I'm gonna need all the help I can get. Glad I can count on you. Now, do what you need to do, and then come back in here. We got a lot of work to do and no time to get it done."

_End Chapter 34_


	36. Chapter 36

Author's Notes: Sorry folks; I broke my ankle again ~ two places this time ~ so the updates will probably take a bit longer than normal. Please don't leave comments in my review section or send me PM's asking for the next update. Keep in mind that not only do I write mammoth chapters, _DancesWithCorpses_ has to then read those chapters and correct all my misspellings, grammar errors, etc. It takes quite a bit of time, so please be patient.

Thanks.

XXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 35 - Shades of Grey

_No wonder the 'Merry Melodies' crew is so 'Merry'_

_All toons created equal…yet some seem more equal than others_

_By Seymour Globe_

_Does money and fame make a person 'better' than an average citizen? Because a star's face is on a magazine or plays on the television daily, should they be allowed to get away with crimes - misdemeanor or felony - that would earn the average citizen several years in Panic Penitentiary? Does having more money than they know what to do with give them the right to get away with murder?_

_Perhaps you scoff at this article, believing that jealously alone is the motivation for writing these words. You have faith in the justice system, believing that all toons are created equal, and whatever your name that everyone is innocent until proven guilty and the law will catch and punish these individuals for their various crimes. Imagine running into this person later and having him laugh in your face about how much clout he has with law enforcement. How would you feel, knowing he not only assaulted you - in front of a child no less – but was able to walk away?_

_Sadly, if the perpetrator happens to be a big enough star - and has enough money to wave around - the odds are slender that they will even be detained by the police, let alone arrested and charged._

_From extortion, to gambling, misconduct with minors to assault upon a journalist, Hollywood celebrities - both human and toon - are getting away with murder._

_*Speaking of murder, those humans are at it again. Update on the O.J. Simpson controversy - civil trial pending - please see page 18._

_Even allegations of assault, child abuse, neglect and misconduct aren't enough to get these deviants locked away in a hole where they should rot for the remainder of their lives. Photographs of adult stars with their hands in inappropriate places on young ones are ignored by the police._

_*please see photographs, starting on page 5._

_Imagine if you will that yourself or a loved one was being assaulted. The perpetrator, unknown to you personally but yet as familiar a face as your own mother's, is cruelly beating you while others of his kind - the Hollywood set - watch and laugh. You expect assistance from onlookers but receive nothing but taunts and humiliation._

_When you finally are able to call for the police to assist you, you watch as the perpetrator is allowed to go free. In helpless indignation, you watch the gloating alleged criminal walk off with his friends, hearing their laughter ringing in your ears. Then, when you think you have seen everything, you are then harassed by the police - the very individuals your tax money pays for - because you were annoying the stars. _

_When the criminal is one of the most recognizable faces from the Looney Tunes franchise though you can expect nothing but humiliation and defeat. If you suspect endangering the welfare of a child and inform the police of your findings - providing photographic evidence even - you can expect the boys in blue to scoff at you and never once think to investigate such shocking and devious crimes._

_This reporter, risking life, limb and career, has struggled to bring these shocking tales - the real story behind some of the most famous faces in Toondom - and the egregious breech of the public's trust in not only ToonTown's police department, but also with the Los Angeles Police Department and even higher. _

_One studio, within a few days, was able to have regulations overlooked so three children - the oldest with several pending charges of assault and grand larceny - could live in a water tower. Most of us have a difficult time getting past city ordinances in order to put in a privacy fence._

_What sort of influence do these studios have with city councilmen and the fire department if it was to accomplish this in such a short amount of time? All three children escaped from a TIS home and wandered the streets for years, perpetrating who knows how many crimes before being scooped up by Warner Brothers studio. Within eight months, they were being billed as the newest toon sensations and their show as 'family friendly entertainment'. _

_Over at a neighboring studio, another minor with a tarnished past was able to not only live on the studio lot, and obtain a major staring role in a television show, he was able to have his crimes overlooked. Later he was even adopted by a former celebrity, a divorcee. Normally a two parent household is required, yet because of their connections they were able to skirt around the rules that the rest of us must abide by. _

_And these crimes are minor compared with other celebrities, older and more well known. _

_Porky Pig, always thought of to be a sweet stuttering straight man to the more comedic personalities in the Looney Tune crew, routinely spends time with a young child celebrity whose name I will not divulge due to her age. _

_Foghorn Leghorn, another old and well known celebrity, spends an unthinkable amount of time associating with another minor. While they may tutor these youngsters, one has to wonder exactly how far this tutoring goes and what those subject matters may be._

_In this exclusive expose, I have obtained interviews with scores of witnesses, people who have seen some of Hollywood's brightest at their lowest. While many refused to allow their names to be published due to fears of reprisals, all are - _

_*story continued on page 19_

Ears extended in worry and anger, Yakko skimmed the article for the second time that morning, hating himself for reading such trash, but unable to tear himself away. It was false - as most things in tabloids were - and didn't deserve to be read. However, if he didn't read it, he wouldn't know what was being said, which could potentially backfire later. He hated surprises.

A large portion of him wanted to crumple it up and put it in the trash where it belonged. Mostly though he wanted to ball it up and shove it down the throat of the reporter who had written it.

Christ, this couldn't get worse could it? Foghorn, Porky, even himself and Bugs, if not mentioned were alluded to strongly. Anyone who read the article and couldn't tell that 'the gabbing adolescent who lived in the tower' wasn't him was an idiot or lived in a very remote cave.

And Foghorn, and Porky…those poor guys…

Yakko balled his fists, throwing the paper down in disgust as he stood, leaning against the counter and angrily glaring out the kitchen window.

The allegations made against them, a few pictures with some choice wording…

He glanced down at the paper where two photographs were displayed on the page. One picture showed Foghorn with Wakko on his shoulders, the rooster's hand patting Wakko's knee. The picture didn't identify Wakko and his face was blurred out, but Yakko would know his younger brother anywhere, and he was certain that anyone who was even an occasional fan of 'Animaniacs' would recognize him as well.

A second picture showed Porky grinning at Dot, her back to the camera as she held a beach towel open in front of her. Again, the small part of Dot's face that was showing was blurred, but again, Yakko would know her anywhere.

Besides, he had a copy of Dot's picture, taken at the beach last year when all of them went. It was in a frame and sitting on the television at the tower. The other picture of Foghorn and Wakko had been published in a car magazine a few months back; he had several copies of it.

There were other photos scattered around the four page 'expose'; Wakko, face still blurred running around a car show by himself. Dot, also blurred, sitting on a merry-go-round, Porky beside her with his arms around her hips.

The article was longer than the pre-release copy the editor had faxed them yesterday and that had been bad enough. Apparently the reporter had dreamed up more nonsense to add at the last minute. There were hints that it could be an ongoing thing and they could expect more 'truth-revealing' articles from him in the future.

Bugs' friend at the paper had tried to bury it far back behind ads for grocery stores and diet pills but the fact reminded that it was printed. Unfortunately, far too many people still believed everything they read or saw on television, whether it was completely farfetched or not.

Yakko briefly wondered if he had done Michael Jackson a disservice. Just like everyone else in the country, as soon as he had read the allegations against the man he had automatically believed them and had never bothered to see if there was another side to the story.

Of course he hadn't exactly gotten the name 'Wacko Jacko' for nothing though. Still, Yakko decided it was a good lesson if nothing else; there was always two sides to a story.

He sent one final glare at the paper before grabbing his coffee cup and returning to glaring out the window into Bugs' backyard. Glancing down at the window sill, Yakko noticed Bugs had several pictures in frames placed there; a few of him with various other celebrities, one of him and Yakko next to the 'Animaniacs' set, another of him holding a very young Buster at what appeared to be a small traveling carnival.

All innocent pictures, just like the ones that were printed in the paper. Yakko hadn't thought twice about any of the pictures; no one had. Two adults having fun with their protégés.

But with the correct wording, anything could become filthy.

Yakko refused to read the article again; the first couple times had made him sick to his stomach and made his blink boil. Bugs would want to read it of course so Yakko couldn't just throw it away. He was positive that Bugs would be even more horrified and angry than he was.

Allegations of inappropriate actions with minors, child abuse and neglect. That Foghorn had assaulted a reporter and been allowed to skip away scot-free because of corruption in the LAPD. There was a short interview with some unnamed teenager that said Foghorn had lost Wakko at the car show and was extremely rude to him when he noticed the child missing. Another interview with a woman claiming that Foghorn tried to kidnap her child with the reporter making the assumption that Foghorn wasn't questioned because he was 'in good' with the boys in blue and could get away with anything.

Yakko had shrugged them off. He had already heard about Wakko's little trip at the show. Foghorn had filled him in but since he had been in the rooster's care he hadn't worried about it overly much except to tell Wakko if he wandered off again he wouldn't let him go out anywhere anymore. He himself occasionally lost track of Wakko; he was seriously considering having Lo-Jack installed on his brother at this point.

Foghorn also said the police briefly asked him what was going on when he had grabbed the other boy. Upon being told he was looking for his own charge wearing an almost identical outfit the police had shrugged and let him go, even radioing other officers at the show to keep a look out for Wakko.

Porky, who doted on Dot like she was his own daughter…there were questions raised if having a toon his age chaperoning around a young girl was appropriate. Why would he be interested in playing with a little girl who had other little girls her age to play with? Why was he the one beside her at the horse show before her disastrous fall? Had he been there to try to bribe the officials into letting Dot win or was there something even more sinister afoot?

Yakko couldn't believe what the papers were saying. He knew if you were in show business, whether long term or were just having fifteen-minutes of fame, some sort of story was bound to come out.

Hell, when their past had come out in the papers at least some of the facts were correct. It was twisted and made to look bad, but still, a small portion of the story was at least based on some sort of fact. This dribble wasn't.

Yakko knew that 'Tasty Toon Gossip' wasn't exactly known for its journalist integrity, but this was ridiculous. It was nothing but a revenge ploy for this reporter - a way to get back at those he believed wronged him while getting his name out for breaking a big story, revealing a seedy underside of Hollywood.

All this because he couldn't get a few pictures of Dot at her lowest…

He rubbed his head, anger, worry and frustration making his headache worse.

This time it wasn't just them; Wakko and Dot were briefly alluded to in passing, but they seemed to have escaped the onslaught of negative press. This time the story was going after their friends, people who had gone out of their way to be nice to them, help them succeed, supported them no matter what happened.

Yakko wanted to help, but he had absolutely no idea where to even start with this mess. He sighed, looking towards the kitchen door, hoping that Bugs would rise early for once. The rabbit had been making phone calls most of the evening, trying to form a counter attack and had gone to bed late, but Yakko doubted he got much sleep.

He glanced back at the paper. Anyone who had been present at Dot's show had been called into some sort of question.

Even he hadn't escape the onslaught. The paper questioned whether he was a suitable guardian due to his own shady background and the fact he was allowing his siblings to accompany 'questionable persons'. He was underage now which was bad enough for him to be considered a guardian for his siblings even on the lot. Later though, after he came of age, would he be deemed appropriate and how many palms would have to be greased for him to be judged suitable? If he was being influenced by shifty toons now, how would this affect him later? Was he truly his father's son?

And he had yet to be called in on his 'charges' of assault and theft and kidnapping. Now the reporter was suggesting that one of the older toons with their connections had it swept under a rug to be forgotten. In return, Yakko allowed his younger siblings to associate with suspected pedophiles…it was enough to make steam come from his ears. He'd never sell his siblings. Yakko sincerely hoped he never saw that reporter again. He would end up being jailed for murder, though in this case, it would be worth it.

With his luck though he'd probably end up sharing a cell with his father.

Add to that the questions if certain toons - such as Bugs - got away with multiple traffic violations due to his fame. Or if Ms. Cunningham was able to float through adopting Kit because of their own minor fame and connections since under normal circumstances she would not be considered a suitable guardian. If the studio was acceptable guardians in the first place for child stars under the _guardian ad slavis_…it went on and on.

The paper was wise, not coming out and actually accusing anyone of misconduct - but it was hinting strongly. Not coming out and accusing saved them from potentially damaging lawsuits. Plotz and the studio attorneys had threatened plenty, Bugs as well.

The most the paper had done was take all minors' names out of the article and blurring out their faces, but it was far too little.

Yakko pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling and trying to think.

He didn't like bad press; with few exceptions no star did. This was beyond bad - if taken seriously by enough people, Foghorn and Porky's reputations could be smeared beyond repair. His own and Bugs' defiantly could be tarnished. Hell, even Jeeves hadn't missed out on the reputation blemishing. His wasn't that bad though; all the paper had said was that an employee of a ridiculously rich family with a former child star had also jumped in to help assault the reporter and was no doubt paid well to keep his mouth shut.

Would anyone actually believe this tripe? Foghorn and Porky both had worked with children for years and had never once had any sort of question presented to them regarding…anything. They spent more time with Wakko and Dot than they usually did with children they had tutored in the past, but both adults had vast knowledge in subjects his siblings were interested in and seemed to genuinely like being around them.

Yakko had no problem with it; he himself had no interest in cars or horses. It only made sense to allow them to experience things with their tutors that he himself had no knowledge of. Both tutors always asked, they never just snatched either of his siblings up and bolted with them to parts unknown. They always told him what was going on. Hell, if they even yelled at them they always told Yakko.

Both of them had even said on more than one occasion that if he ever felt in any way that they were engaging in too many activities or he felt like they were taking too much of his siblings time up all he had to do was say something. They weren't trying to horn in on his territory or take over.

Yakko had never felt that way. They had no father as far as he was concerned, just an overly protective older brother who felt bungling and awkward at times since he didn't know what he was doing himself. He had absolutely no problem admitting that; he hoped he was getting better as time went by, but he knew he had a long way to go.

But, while he was learning and growing himself, he felt there was nothing wrong with others who were willing stepping in to help and he personally couldn't think of two better father-type figures for them. Hell, whether he wanted to admit it or not, Bugs often filled the role for him. Having Porky or Foghorn fill in for an older role model was wise; there were far worse role model's they could have.

He knew that nothing questionable was happing with his siblings. He routinely hung out with Bugs and other older stars because they had interests he himself had and with the exception of Kit, Yakko felt he had very little in common with most people his age.

Yakko had enough faith in his own skills to know he mostly did a decent job but he could also admit he messed up on occasion. He looked at both tutors as an extension of his influence, positive role models who offered their assistance in helping him raise two siblings who would be successful in whatever they chose to do.

He had always felt that way about them…

He winced, remembering having to talk to Wakko and Dot last night about their tutors, questioning each and every thing until he was assured that nothing funny had ever gone on. He felt like the lowest individual on Earth for doing it, but he felt better after he had. Without that worry on his mind - even if it really hadn't been a concern - he could fully concentrate on helping and supporting not only his siblings, but two men who loved them almost as much as he did.

It had been one of the most uncomfortable conversations he had ever had to take part in. Wakko and Dot, eyes wide, had seemed confused at the questions and answered as truthfully as they could, occasionally trying to fib at something.

After a brief moment of fear while wondering what they were trying to hide, Yakko had finally managed to figure out they were reluctant to admit if they had gotten in trouble for something or done something they shouldn't. After he told them he wasn't looking to yell at them he didn't care what they got in trouble for they had a free pass, he just needed to know what they were hiding, they were much more forthcoming.

He knew Wakko could cause trouble; he would have been more suspicious if his brother had said he hadn't done anything he didn't know about. Dot though could cause some havoc if mad or bored enough, surprising him.

Even though he knew nothing had happened, would ever happen, talking to them had relieved him. Bugs had been right, even if Yakko was reluctant to admit it. Once those types of accusations were raised, it would have been very hard for him to ignore it until he had gotten verification from his siblings that nothing had happened.

His siblings were still mystified and returned fire, peppering him with questions about why he had a sudden interest in their activities with Foghorn and Porky and he had been at a loss what to say. He didn't want to lie to them, but how could he tell either of them what two of their favorite people were being accused of, along with their friends?

Deciding that editing the information wouldn't hurt, he had finally told them that Foghorn and Porky, along with some of their other friends, were having bad things said about them. They would have to be really patient and understanding, and they were not to talk to any reporters that came up to them about anything. He and Bugs would tell them when they could talk to the reporters and what to say. At this time, if any reporter came up to them they were to ignore them and find him or one of the adults they trusted and tell them.

Wakko, while upset someone was saying something bad about Foghorn, had seemed more unconcerned. He claimed Foghorn could take care of himself because he was big, tough, strong and smart. He would beat up anyone that said anything bad about him.

Dot had been livid. Perched on the couch with her heavily signed cast, she had railed about anyone daring to say anything negative about Porky. She had even grabbed one of her crutches, swinging it above her head and demanding to know who had said anything about Porky because she was gonna shove the crutch so far…

Thankfully she had cut off then, but that was because she had swung the crutch a little too enthusiastically and had knocked Wakko off the couch with it.

Yakko rubbed his temples, thinking about last night. That had been the only slightly amusing thing that had happened.

Porky and Foghorn, to be expected, were angry and humiliated when told about the next day's story. Both had come over to Bugs' house when the rabbit called to tell them that they needed to read the story because they had to begin to formulate a response. This wouldn't just go away, especially with the names involved.

Porky had been livid and embarrassed and confused; he pointed out he had never even seen the reporter. Bugs had said it was a simple tactic on the reporter's part, like a shotgun blast. Shoot enough bullets, see what sticks.

The pig had nodded before quickly turning to Yakko, stuttering so hard that he hadn't been able to understand anything Porky was saying for a time. Yakko had surmised that some of what he was stuttering was protests since he had been trying to grab his shoulder. He had honestly never seen the pig that mad before. Hearing Porky stutter and swear had thrown him for a loop.

He had calmed down somewhat when Yakko told him he didn't think anything untold was going on with either him or Foghorn. He never had. Yakko had also told him that he expected nothing to change. Dot adored him, there was no reason for him to not continue to see her. Not only was he her tutor, he was her friend.

Porky had seemed pleased, given the circumstances, that Yakko and Bugs believed him. Bugs had said he needed to make some calls himself; everyone would be going over to have a sitdown with Plotz in the morning at the studio. The studio had a massive legal department; Plotz said they were paid well, it was time for them to earn the giant paychecks they demanded.

Foghorn…Foghorn had been enraged, getting even louder than normal while promising to kill the reporter. With that announcement he had stood, storming towards the door to go find him. Foghorn said he knew who the guy was, wouldn't take him long to finish this bit of business.

Yakko had shuddered; the rooster could probably do it. He wouldn't even need a gun; Foghorn was strong and muscular enough to do it with his bare fists.

It had taken the combined efforts of himself and Bugs, each holding on to an arm to subdue him. Porky had flung himself on Foghorn's back, wrapping his pudgy pink arms around the rooster's neck in an attempt to still him long enough to hear reason.

Bugs had pointed out that no matter how good the idea sounded they couldn't go around killing reporters who wrote bad things, even if they were lies. And they should keep their voices down; Wakko and Dot were in the den, right down the hall. At this time Bugs thought that keeping them ignorant of what was really happening might be a good idea.

The rooster had also sworn that nothing had ever happened and would probably have tried to swear on his 'grand pappy's' grave if Yakko hadn't stopped him.

After that the rooster had moaned that he had never had his good name besmirched like this before and that he hadn't even thought the reporter would go this low. Bugs reminded him that most tabloid reporters would go that low - and lower - if it would get their names out and sell papers. The reporter - this Seymour Globe person - no doubt would continue on in this vein if not stopped.

Porky and Foghorn both were of course willing and able to do anything possible to get this taken care of. Porky was defiantly the saner of the two; Foghorn might bear some watching. Yakko would hate to see the rooster end up in Panic Pen for murder.

Yakko was still concerned, despite Bugs' assurance that this would all work out one way or another. Bugs had pointed out he knew plenty of people on both sides of the law he could call to help out in this situation. He said he simply couldn't be around this long and not have met some shady but useful toons over the years and he had no problem using their specialties if it would help him any.

After the others had left, Bugs had confessed to Yakko that he was worried, especially about Foghorn. Yakko was as well; Porky had gone and visited Dot briefly, making general conversation and putting his sister at ease.

Foghorn had told Wakko he was 'sick' and that he couldn't see him, not right now. Wakko had looked upset but told Foghorn he hoped he felt better.

Dot sat down to start drawing him a picture to make him feel better.

Unfortunately, no matter how cute a drawing she made, Yakko didn't foresee any pictures helping them out of this situation.

XXXXXXXXXX

" - and we're gonna get through this doc, together like we usually - "

"Easy for you - I say - easy for you to say. You ain't being accused of doing - "

"I've been accused of other stuff; give 'em a few days and they'll probably be accusing me of that too. We stick together and everyone will see this is malarkey."

"Foghorn, sweetie, no one thinks you've done anything even remotely fishy," Ms. Cunningham said, putting her hand on Foghorn's arm for a moment before turning to Porky. "And you - I've seen you with Dot; she thinks the world of you." Narrowing her eyes to small slits she added, "And that reporter…oh just wait until I see him again. He thought it was demeaning, doing a write up of a horse show? When I'm through with him he won't be able to even cover a dog show; hard to write with broken hands."

"Hell yeah Rebecca - "

"Kit! Hush!"

Yakko snickered to himself at the cub's expression momentarily before turning to watch Bugs talk to Porky and Foghorn. He watched Porky nod firmly and Foghorn shrug before sighing to himself.

He had hoped the meeting would help, even if it was just reassurance that everyone was behind the accused. The studio was sticking firmly behind its stars. Warner Brother would be working in cooperation with Disney since two of their own employees were being besmirched.

Yakko watched as the three employees Disney had sent over - two attorneys and a publicist - for the emergency meeting walk swiftly towards their vehicle. Cell phones glued to their ears, none of them looked up as they entered their car and slowly rolled away, hopefully to put their heads together to come up with some sort of plan.

The meeting hadn't solved anything really, but it had given Yakko some hope that this might work out. It had at least started the ball rolling in the right direction, even if everyone wasn't exactly on the same page.

It had been a large meeting, so large that it had eventually needed to be moved from Plotz's office to one of the large conference rooms. Yakko had almost snorted; it had been moved to the very conference room that he and his siblings had performed their audition in years ago. If the situation hadn't been so serious he would have actually enjoyed telling Kit that bit of trivia.

Yakko had gazed around the room for a few moments though, feeling a bit nostalgic. Amazing what he had been through since the last time he had been in that room. Amazing what he was doing in that room now. He had actually been invited to come into the meeting with the others, so they could discuss the situation and formulate some sort of tactic to this attack by the press.

As sad and angry as he was about the situation that was the cause of the meeting, he was pleased that they deemed him old enough and mature enough to assist. Bugs had actually been the one to request his presence, telling Yakko that the rabbit was finally looking at him as something other than a child.

Kit was also there with Ms. Cunningham, since they had not only been alluded to in the article, they claimed they had an interest in it. Many of the people mentioned were friends or acquaintances. The Warners were Ms. Cunningham's clients along with being friends.

Ms. Cunningham hadn't spoken much, but seemed to have something important to say. She mostly exchanged glances with Bugs and stayed silent, seemingly content to listen, unusual for the normally bubbly and assertive woman.

Porky and Foghorn were there, Porky looking unusually stern and very businesslike, Foghorn seeming more moody and downtrodden.

Even now, hours after the meeting, the rooster still seemed that way as they gathered in the parking lot to have another impromptu meeting without the studio's intervention. Bugs claimed that sometimes, it was best to humor the studio, then take care of the real business behind the scenes. The studio would be a bit more 'PC' than Bugs would. Like the rabbit had yelped earlier, this means war, and in war there was a winner and a loser.

Bugs said he was no loser. If the reporter - and his paper - wanted a battle, he'd be more than happy to give them one and he could play as dirty as anyone.

Yakko cut his eyes to him briefly as Ms. Cunningham's cell phone rang and she almost dropped her purse in her haste to answer it. While she spoke she walked a few feet away, urgently speaking into it while Kit raised an eyebrow and shrugged at him.

Bugs still appeared worried as he fiddled with a carrot, but he was standing firm and speaking to Foghorn and Porky in a very matter of fact manner. With his other hand on Foghorn's shoulder he reassured the rooster that no matter what he would never abandon him, he didn't care what the papers were saying. For the moment, they would conduct business as usual; hiding from the press and society would do nothing more than make them appear guilty.

Yakko sighed as Foghorn looked more mopey than he had and felt a pain of sympathy for the large chicken.

Bugs had been trying to talk him into still going golfing this weekend. Foghorn had balked at the suggestion; he had barely wanted to leave his house to come to the meeting. The rabbit was persisting though, gently urging the rooster to come out, have some fun, show his face and not to let himself be chased off by one reporter with a grudge.

Porky had been reluctant to do anything with Dot, not wanting to give the gossips any further ammunition, but Yakko had stopped him cold. He was her brother, he decided where she went and with who. If he had no problem with allowing his baby sister to accompany him, Yakko didn't see where anyone else could say a word.

Bugs had been working on both Porky and Foghorn, trying to get them back to their old selves. Porky said he would think about it, becoming slightly more enthused when Ms. Cunningham said she and Molly would accompany them. And she pointed out she wasn't in a very good mood at the moment; if anyone dared to look at them twice she would inject Molly with a massive amount of chocolate and send her over to pester them. That would give them something to talk about.

Foghorn had briefly snapped back to his old self in the meeting, talking and offering his own opinions. His solution to the whole problem was to 'blow - I say - blow that son of a bitch away with a twelve gauge'. The only one who had thought that was a fine idea was Kit, who offered to help clean up the mess and hide the body.

Yakko had to laugh at Kit's expression. Ms. Cunningham had told him if he couldn't act like a responsible adult he would be sent outside with the younger children to be babysat by Slappy.

But while Porky seemed to be making some attempt to return to normal, Foghorn was…not. Yakko couldn't pinpoint what was wrong, other than the obvious. He had honestly thought with Foghorn's personality that the rooster would bellow and bray and march down the street and not worry about the publicity.

He wasn't; he almost appeared to be retreating into himself. Usually jovial, slightly obnoxious and happily running his mouth nonstop, Foghorn was now giving off the air of depression and being uncharacteristically silent.

What concerned Yakko more was the brief conversation he had with the rooster upon arriving at the lot. After exchanging a mournful greeting and some general small talk, the rooster had said he wanted to keep any additional negative press away from them; he had received a call from TIS, wishing to talk to him since the allegations were made public. To spare the Warners any future negative publicity, he wanted to immediately resign as Wakko's tutor.

That had raised an outcry - Yakko was happy Wakko hadn't been present and heard it.

Luckily Wakko had been dragged off by a determined Slappy who had graciously volunteered to watch 'all the little rugrats' so everyone could have the meeting without them underfoot. The children were confused as to why everyone was at the Warner lot, especially on a Saturday when no one was scheduled for any filming. Confused, they had all been full of questions and were growing more hyper because of no one handing over any information. They had gotten more rambunctious when they were told they were going to go off with Slappy, but lucky the squirrel forced a smile and told them to be quiet and she would treat them all to ice cream to cram in their mouths.

That had brought most questions to a halt.

Slappy was probably madder than everyone else combined, though that didn't really surprise Yakko. He adored the old squirrel and was relived that she was pitching in to help, but even when she was happy she seemed pissed off.

While the idea of a day at the lot together had delighted Skippy, Molly, and Dot, Wakko had acted like he was going to his own funeral. He wanted to go with Yakko, or go visit Foghorn or maybe go to the motor pool; anything but hang around with 'the girls'. Yakko had almost relented and let him go over to the motor pool; the mechanics let him come in and look around at all the cars, but seeing a higher number than normal of detractor and reporters hanging around the fence line, he had sternly told Wakko to just behave and spend some time with the others.

Yakko knew it wasn't going to be much fun for him. Since Dot couldn't run around and play like usual right now, Molly had happily screamed she had brought ribbons to decorate Dot's crutches so they wouldn't be so dreary. Dot and Molly - along with Skippy - had seemed enchanted with the idea.

Wakko had asked for one of them to hang himself with before going on about how much this was going to 'suck', his new favorite word. He had finally shut up when Slappy told him she would be happy to not only tie the noose for him, she'd help him tie it to the tree and kick the chair out from under him. He had gloomily followed them when Slappy marched everyone off, forlornly looking behind him towards Yakko with a clear message on his face that screamed 'help me'.

Yakko had just turned his back; he sympathized with his brother, but he had other concerns at the moment. It wouldn't kill Wakko to have an art period; if he couldn't help snap Foghorn out of his gloom his brother would have a real reason to mope.

At Foghorn's announcement of wishing to resign, Bugs had smacked the rooster on his head, telling him to stop being a numbskull. Yakko had firmly refused to accept his resignation, but inwardly he was worried.

Foghorn was more than Wakko's tutor and current idol; Yakko regarded him as a friend. A rather large glum friend at the moment, but a friend none the less. And friends didn't let friends quite beloved jobs. As much of a headache as he was sure Wakko was to him, Yakko knew Foghorn genuinely enjoyed spending time with his brother. Up until this disaster happened they were supposed to be working on some old car or another - Yakko hadn't paid much attention to what they were saying, but they both sounded excited about it.

Bugs reminded Foghorn - and Porky since he also received a call and thought resignation might be a wise idea - that both children adored them. Resigning would only hurt them and make them look guilty of the false charges that the reporter made. Wishing to talk with them was probably nothing more than making sure, since if they didn't it could lead to accusations of more 'preferential treatment'.

Yakko had breathed a sigh of relief. Due to the Da-Doo's intervention he wouldn't have to tell his siblings that they would have to get new tutors. Hopefully. They had both agreed to wait and 'think about it'.

Bugs had also told Yakko that he had expected that TIS would get involved; they usually did, sticking their noses in when the situation wasn't warranted. They may even want to talk to Yakko and his siblings at some point.

At that pronouncement Yakko had actually felt his blink turn cold. He had heard the expression but didn't think it was actually possible.

Apparently it was. He had turned panicked eyes to Bugs who patted him on the shoulder and told him not to worry. The _guardian ad slavis_ was a legal binding contract. Neither party was interested in breaking it. TIS could talk till they were blue in the face and threaten to take them to court all they liked, but there was nothing they could do.

He said they would discuss it later, in more detail should the need arise. They had enough to do as it was. Bugs did tell him to relax; he was going to need him sane and calm for the days and weeks ahead, if they were to all get through this and TIS wasn't snatching the three of them for any reason. They had more than just Warner Brother's Studio on their side.

Yakko was trying, but the threat of TIS getting involved made the huge amounts of coffee he had for breakfast lurch uncomfortably in his stomach.

" - and anyway doc, didn't you say you got some film from that scumbag?" Bugs asked, drawing Yakko's attention back to the conversation.

"Grabbed it - I say - grabbed it when I was…assisting him. Had dirt on his jacket," Foghorn said, shrugging. "Figured I could deal with bad press better than the little miss; didn't expect it to blow up into this."

"Please tell me you didn't get rid of it - "

"Nah, it's at the house," Foghorn said dismissively. "Somewhere…"

Before he could speak further, Bugs got a radiant smile on his face and nodded, speaking and cutting him off.

"Good. Find it. Don't lose it," he ordered, speaking slowly and clearly as if giving instructions to a five year old. "When you find it, call me." Turning to Yakko he asked, "How much you picked up about developing film?"

"Huh?" Blinking at Bugs for a moment Yakko asked, "I don't want to see the pictures of Dot hurt - "

"Don't worry about that," Bugs said brusquely, waving him off. "If we give you the film, can you develop it?"

"Me?"

"No, the other Yakko. Yes you! I know you hang out in the photo lab here, you're always snapping pictures, you were taking a photography class last I heard - "

"Ehhhhh, I guess," Yakko stammered, confused and uneasy when all eyes turned to him. "But I did mostly black and white. I mean I've done color…some…it's more complicated…Oh! I can use the automatic- "

"Can you do it?" Bugs asked again. "That darkroom stuff?"

"Maybe, if I find one of my books. Or I can ask Snaps- "

"This isn't an essay question Yakko," Bugs said harshly. "Simple yes or no answer."

"No, probably not." Shrugging he added, "It's not like I have a darkroom in the tower…I guess I could ask Snaps; he lets me use the darkrooms here…does it need a darkroom?"

"It's film Yakko!" Bugs snapped, rolling his eyes. "Come on doc, you know that - "

"Well, it doesn't always need a darkroom," Yakko answered haughtily. "If it's just some normal pictures I can use the automatic - "

"Fine, great," Bugs said, waving at him to be quite. "Do it; I have faith in you and I don't want anyone else seeing what's on those rolls, if what I'm thinking is correct. Last thing I want is the kid working at the local Ritz seeing what may be on them," Bugs said, cutting him off and turning from him. "Rebecca - you get a hold of that doofus detective again?"

_Doofus detective?_

Yakko frowned, wondering what Bugs was talking about. He had been involved in this since its inception, but Bugs had spent most of the night on the phone, talking to various people so he knew he could have very well missed something.

Bugs claimed he slept and wasn't worried, but Yakko could tell the rabbit was lying. The large dark circles under his eyes told him that, along with fact that Bugs had been up before anyone else this morning.

Whatever he wanted a detective for, Yakko would have thought Bugs would get a competent one, not a 'doofus'.

"Of course Bugs," Rebecca answered, looking pleased. "And he's not a doofus. Under that hideously unfashionable cape is a real gumshoe. And before you say anything else he's doing this as a favor to me because we're both fellow Disney employees. He's not even going to charge any- "

"Look around you Rebecca," Bugs said back, rolling his eyes as he took a hard bite of his carrot. "Do you think money's a concern with anyone in this group?"

_Doofus._

_Hideously unfashionable cape._

_Disney._

_Oh God no…_

"If he wants to be paid - "

"He doesn't," Ms. Cunningham said. "And I told you he's already done some checking; this Seymour is a bit of a shady character himself. He's been banned from Dis- "

"Please don't tell me," Yakko said, hiding his face in his hands. "You can't be serious…not him, not Dorkwing - "

"Darkwing," Ms. Cunningham stressed. "Is a lot more skilled than people give him credit for - "

"That big beaked has-been?" Kit asked, looking astonished that anyone was sticking up for the duck. Shrugging and going back to his glowering state he muttered to Yakko, "Hope she's joking."

Smirking, Yakko muttered back, "I'm just glad we don't have to pay. We can save our money for a real detective…for whatever reason we need one."

"We can use him to figure out why Rebecca thinks - "

"I want him," Bugs interrupted Kit's comment. "I have a hunch and I can't use my usual guys…But I'm looking for discretion and competence - "

"Darkwing has neither," Yakko muttered sourly. "Plucky in his Batduck costume could do a better job."

Turning dark eyes to him, Bugs said, "Rebecca is vouching for him - "

"I am; he's stood up for me before; I can do it for him."

Yakko exchanged a glance with Kit but said nothing. Secretly he was wondering what Ms. Cunningham could have possibly done that she would need that idiot to stand up for her and why they had a use for him now.

"He's done some…bad…well, unusually weird things that may have seemed terrible but - "

"Terrible?" Yakko laughed, disbelieving what he was hearing. "He's stalked three children for how long - "

"Yeah Rebecca," Kit shot in. Crossing his arms and leaning against a car he added, "He harasses Yakko like some sick fan boy, he stalks me every chance he gets. It's creepy - "

"I've used him before," Rebecca snapped. "Several times actually. I don't question how he gets the job done but he's always come through in the end."

"Well I don't think we should get him involved," Kit muttered, slumping against the car. "This is a big enough mess."

"If he can get the job done, I'll use him," Bugs said. "He's coming highly recommended."

Rebecca grinned before Foghorn spoke again.

"I'm not sure - I say - I'm not sure I want to stake my reputation on a guy who's the worst dressed sentient being in the known universe."

"Foghorn, who cares what he dresses like?" Rebecca asked. "He uses that as a cover now, and he's found it very useful - "

"Boy's as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass," Foghorn retorted moodily. "Rather take care of this myself - "

"I like Foghorn's plan better," Kit interjected. "Let's use his - "

"Be quiet Kit," Rebecca snapped, glaring at Kit. "Violence isn't the only way to solve problems…at least at this stage. We'll save that for the last resort."

"I want to know why we're using Dipwing, of all people," Yakko asked, annoyed. Slumping beside Kit and exchanging a scowl with the bear he added, "Along with everyone else, I've been hauled into this too and he's never done anything useful that I've seen - "

"Yakko, just listen for a few minutes," Bugs interrupted him. "We need to put past differences behind us. I don't have any faith in the masked moron either." Turning to Rebecca he asked again, "I'm trusting you on this, I'm not using my usual guys and they've always gotten the job done too."

"I'd rather use your guys, whoever they are," Yakko said testily. "At least you said they've been useful. Darkwing's never been useful a day - "

"Quite the contrary, he has," Ms. Cunningham said, turning her dark look to Yakko.

"I'm not sold," Kit said, drawing Ms. Cunningham's look back to him. "I'm with the others. Name one time that that idiot's been useful." When Ms. Cunningham said nothing but continued to glare at him he said, "See? It's impossible - "

"He's one of the reasons you're adoption went through so smoothly. I used him to trace your background - "

"Rebecca!" Kit yelped, lurching off the vehicle and glaring at her.

Yakko, eyebrows raised, went forward, intending to grab Kit's arm. The cub was high strung and not overly prone to violence, but he looked upon Darkwing as fondly as he did. Despite most of his past being known, Yakko really wouldn't want Darkwing poking around asking questions; it was creepy and the duck was creepy enough without adding that to it.

Kit shook him off and stalked toward Rebecca, yelling, "Him? That's the last person I want snooping around my background!"

"Kit, just listen - "

"You know how I feel about him! He's harassed me almost since I stepped foot on Disney property!" Glowering he added, "He still does occasionally! You heard him - he thought I was trying to pull some scam on you!"

"I know Kit," Ms. Cunningham said, trying to sound soothing but the tone of her voice still displaying some annoyance. "But he was able to trace your family and he knew what to look for when - "

"Why did you do that?" Kit demanded. "I told you I didn't have any family! Didn't you believe me?"

"Of course I did Kit, but I still - "

"You had no right to - "

"If I wanted to adopt you I did!" Rebecca testily answered, cutting Kit off. "I used any means I had available to get it done, and Darkwing was more helpful than anyone else I could have got!"

"You had an attorney!" Kit snapped back.

"Who would follow everything to the letter of the law! Think about it Kit, the courts take months - years sometimes - to approve an adoption! I didn't want to wait that long - the attorney used the information Darkwing provided and helped speed things up!" Her voice turning sharp and bitter she added, "The paper was right - most times they look for a two parent household and I'm not one - you know that! And what if some unknown uncle had popped up at the last minute? I had to know what I was going to go up against if I even wanted a chance to get you!"

Yakko saw Kit wilt and shrink back as Rebecca's face went from angry to tormented. He started to go forward but felt Foghorn's hand grip his arm, holding him back and he relaxed.

This wasn't going to fix anything, and he personally didn't care what Darkwing had or hadn't done to help them, he didn't want the duck involved. He was happy Darkwing had for once proven that he wasn't a completely useless waste of feathered flesh if he had managed to help Kit and Ms. Cunningham, but this situation was a bit different.

This wasn't only affecting the others around him, it was going to affect him as well. He glanced over at Bugs, who was watching the entire conversation with unreadable eyes, like he was taking everything in and would make a judgment later. Yakko decided to do so as well. He didn't like the idea of using Darkwing for whatever the rabbit was planning on using him for, but he did trust Bugs' judgment.

Giving out a shaky sigh and holding her hand to her head Rebecca swallowed and said quietly, "I…I didn't want someone snatching you away at the last minute from us, and I didn't want you to have to spend another day at the lot by yourself, sitting alone in the cafeteria celebrating Christmas with the security staff…"

"Rebecca, I'm sorry," Kit said, going forward and looking contrite at the idea he had upset her.

"Darkwing…he went through the same thing, getting custody of Gosalyn before adopting her…he was just the logical one to go to, and he volunteered to help, since he had been through it before. He checked everything he could, confirmed there were no other relatives, he talked to some people he knows at the courts, getting us a much earlier date…he opened his detective agency after that when he figured out he had a knack for it." Hiding her face in her hands she wailed, "Yes, I used my connections, the paper wasn't wrong there. But I never thought…"

Kit jumped forward, engulfing her in a big hug and held her while she sniffed and wept.

"And I got a call this morning from TIS, saying they wanted to check the adoption out now - "

At Ms. Cunningham's words, Yakko blanched.

If TIS was getting involved with teenagers officially adopted this was going to go from bad to worse quickly. He turned panicked eyes to Bugs, hoping he had some sort of plan he wasn't sharing because when TIS got involved, Yakko knew he was out of luck. Until he turned eighteen and had paperwork from the courts stating he was Wakko and Dot's legal guardians, the mere mention of TIS sent him into a panic.

As much as he disliked actual physical violence, he was starting to think Foghorn's idea of wanton violence wasn't all that bad. It definitely bared further thinking.

"Those boys - I say - those boys don't waste time," Foghorn muttered. "So called story only came out this morning - "

"T-T-Think a-a-about it F-Foghorn," Porky stuttered, clenching his fists. "That r-r-reporter could have c-called them ahead of t-t-time. They a-a-already c-called us - "

"True," Foghorn sighed. "That man's so low he could milk a pregnant snake." Looking up at the teary eyed Rebecca he added, "Don't you worry none; TIS probably just wants to check…that's what you told me. They gotta check since the allegation was made. They know they made a good choice; boy couldn't have gotten a better mother."

"Damn right…oh come on Mom, don't cry," Kit said, his hard tone going to begging in the space of a few words. "I just - "

Ms. Cunningham, whose face had been hidden behind her hands, looked up quickly at Kit, who seemed to be at a loss for words.

"You…You called me Mom," Rebecca whimpered. Her eyes tearing up more she said quietly, "You've never…"

Yakko squirmed, feeling Bugs and the others behind him sigh and fidget when the bearess broke into fresh sobs, almost collapsing in Kit's arms. He wondered how he could be among people he had known for years and feel this awkward.

Damn Kit for being all touching at this moment.

Kit had said he never called Ms. Cunningham 'Mom'; it was always 'Rebecca'. It wasn't a title he wanted to just play around with, and Ms. Cunningham never seemed to mind.

Yakko sent a half hearted glare towards the cub, who returned a panicked one before wrapping his arms tighter around the bearess. He was quite happy his friend had this marvelous breakthrough and he finally realized what he had, but did he have to go and get her all emotional now? They were all starting to try to respond to this nightmare and figure out why they needed a detective… especially an egomaniac like Darkwing.

"Uh…yeah," Kit said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry Rebecca - I won't - "

"No, no, use Mom," Ms. Cunningham said hurriedly while trying to stifle her crying. Sniffing, she wiped at her face, the lighter fur around her eyes still soaked and beginning to streak with ruined makeup and added, "I told you before, call me whatever you feel comfortable - "

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable - "

"I'm not trying to be a sourpuss here," Bugs interrupted. "But this just proves right here that TIS isn't going to do anything." Gesturing towards Kit and Ms. Cunningham he added, "Rebecca, let TIS come - the courts found you worthy, single parent or not. And Kit, glad you finally have someone worthy of being called Mom."

Yakko snorted at Kit's look, a mix of pleasure and embarrassment at being caught in this moment.

He was touched though; after all Ms. Cunningham had done, she deserved the title.

"And yeah, you may have utilized your connections," Bugs continued. "I think we all have - and most anyone in the world would, especially for our kids. I don't think anyone would judge you for that. But this arguing is getting us nowhere. We need to stick together - all of us," Bugs said, turning to look at everyone. "Or we're going to fall apart."

"What are you suggesting rabbit?" Foghorn said.

"For now, nothing."

"Now wait - "

"No, you wait Foghorn. If left to you we'd have a trail of mayhem and destruction to clean up. Just listen. If you and Porky start hiding from the world, people are going to think you're guilty, right?" At the rooster's reluctant nod Bugs added, "Business as usual. You're Wakko's tutor - so tutor him. You don't have a problem with that - right Yakko?"

Yakko shook his head. He had said so about fifty times already.

"And Porky - no issues with him?"

Yakko shook his head again and said, "Look, I don't care what the papers say, I trust both of you. I wouldn't want anyone else with my siblings; they wouldn't take anyone else."

He sighed in relief when he saw Porky and Foghorn both look somewhat pleased.

"Good. Plotz has the legal department and the publicity section working overtime to try to mitigate the damages. The kids know not to talk to any reporters. Rebecca's our liaison with Darkwing for now - I trust you Becky - "

"It's Rebecca, not Becky."

"But I have my doubts…you said he's already found some info…"

"Seymour has a history of being a bit…unethical," she replied, still wiping at her eyes. "Nothing concrete yet, but Darkwing's on the job."

Yakko shuddered, especially seeing Kit mouth 'that's what I'm afraid of'.

Listening to the adults talk and sharing a hesitant look with Kit, Yakko nodded at Bugs. As soon as Foghorn found the rolls of film he had taken, Bugs would bring Yakko to the lot and have him develop them.

By himself. No one else was to know what he found on the film until he finished and talked to Bugs.

If what Bugs was correct at what he was suspecting was on the film, the photo employees at the Wal-Mart didn't need to see it. Too often private photos ended up in tabloids; he was trusting Yakko was mature enough to deal with whatever was on the film.

XXXXXXXXXX

_- and you're my absolute favorite of everyone! I wear a flower in my hair too! And I really like pink - just like you! I even memorized all the words for 'I'm Cute' because I love the song so much! I even sing it in the morning when I'm brushing my hair to go to school!_

_I hope your leg is better. I've never broken anything but I bet it hurts. I hope you feel better soon._

_If your not busy can you please please please sign this picture and mail it back to me soon so I can use it for show and tell and then put it in my bedroom? I'll treasure it forever and ever I promise!_

_Your biggest fan forever - _

_Marie_

_Age 6_

_P.S. I wrote this letter - but not by myself - my Mommy helped me so we could make sure it would get to you and she told me if I put the envelope in with the stamps on it you might send it back to me. _

Dot grinned, looking at the picture, one of herself from last year.

It was one of the usual publicity shots the studio used, her in the pink skirt, hands clasped in front of her and grinning, trying to look more cute and adorable than she usually did. She wondered how many copies of that picture were out - half the autograph requests she got had that picture included.

And if it didn't have a picture included and she wanted to send one, the studio had tons of the glossies they would hand her in a big stack to sign and send to the fans.

She liked the picture OK; she figured she looked cute in it. She was supposed to have taken another one because she was getting a little older now, but with the broken leg the publicity department had postponed it until she was healed.

She shrugged and sighed, taking the marker she had and wrote 'To my biggest fan Marie - all my love - Dot Warner' across the bottom in her flowing handwriting. She looked at the signature for a minute, pleased.

Her handwriting was getting a lot better. It wasn't quite as precise and neat as Yakko's, but it was a lot better than Wakko's. Wakko's handwriting looked like someone dumped a worm in ink than had it crawl all over the paper. She had no idea how anyone could figure out what Wakko was writing, but she gave all his tutors credit for making sense of it.

Putting the picture in the envelope she let out a small sigh, bored.

All sorts of stuff were happening around her, and she couldn't be a part of it.

Stupid broken leg.

She frowned at the cheery pink cast, now covered in signatures and pictures from her family and friends. She hated the cast, but she liked that everyone had come by and was really nice to her and gave her lots more attention than normal.

But when they went to do stuff, she felt left out. She couldn't really go anywhere. She couldn't run and play 'hide and seek' with Wakko, or jump around and play wrestle and cuddle with Yakko, or play on the swings with Molly.

And when things happened, she couldn't help. They wouldn't even tell her what was going on.

Dot frowned, wondering what was really going on. Yakko had said some people had said bad stuff about Porky and Foghorn and their other friends, but wouldn't tell her what. He only said it was bad and untrue and she wasn't to believe a word of it.

If for some reason she was by herself and a reporter asked her questions, or if someone tried to say something nasty to her she was to immediately scream for help. She wasn't to say anything. He said right now some bad people might try to take what she said and make things worse for Porky.

Dot didn't want to do that; she really didn't even want to know what they said. She did want to know who said it though so she could tell them to stop. Porky wasn't mean or bad - she loved Porky. He was sweet and nice and would never hurt anyone and he rarely yelled. The only time he yelled was if she did something really bad but she was usually smart enough to not let him catch her. Even if he did, all she had to do was pout and bat her eyes and whisper 'sorry' to him in her sweet innocent way and he usually calmed down.

Usually he was just like Yakko.

Dot scowled at the thought of her oldest brother. Right now she was still mad with him. He wasn't easing up even a little - he didn't want her to go back to riding horses ever again because she got hurt.

The thought upset her, but made her angry too. She had gotten hurt, but Yakko had gotten hurt a lot worse just riding in a car and she hadn't said she didn't want him ever riding in a car again. It was silly - but Yakko could be unreasonable sometime. Wakko said so often enough - he said Yakko worried way too much.

Of course Wakko was usually doing something that common sense said don't do but he'd go ahead and do it anyway. That was different; she hadn't been doing anything wrong.

Plus, Yakko wouldn't tell her anything about their friends. He said it was an adult matter and that they would handle it and she should just sit back and have fun - as much fun as she could have sitting on a couch with a broken leg.

She rarely fought with Yakko - normally Yakko was easy to get along with. But he was being beyond unreasonable. When she had yelled at him he was being a jerk he just said he was in charge and it was his decision and she was the younger sister and had to do what he said and stomped away, saying he had other stuff to do and she'd see his point of view one day.

Dot wouldn't ever see his point of view. She wasn't just some dumb little girl. He had always said she was really smart and he trusted her - so why couldn't he trust her now? He wouldn't tell her what was going on with their friends, even though they were her friends as much as his. He wouldn't let her ride horses anymore, even though she had been riding awhile and this was the first time she had really gotten hurt.

At least her fans didn't act like she was some stupid little girl.

Scowling, she slumped back on the sofa. Yakko wouldn't tell her what was being said and told her not to worry about it, but there was nothing saying she couldn't think about what someone might have said.

She wondered if someone had just said something bad about his stutter. Porky said that sometimes people said mean things to him about it, but he never minded. He said that he could have been embarrassed and ashamed about it, and he had been for a time. In the end though he just accepted that he would always stutter, and instead of being upset about it he had made it work for him. In the end, his stutter was what attracted the studio's attention, and he had ended up becoming one of the first stars at the studio.

But he would admit that he knew that sometimes his stutter was bad. If the person was really impatient they would get mad, but he said the people that counted never minded. But Porky said he knew he was hard to understand and it took him a long time to get what he was saying out.

Dot never minded. Porky always had something cute and funny and important to say. If it took him an extra few seconds to get it out, she didn't mind waiting. If it wasn't worth saying, he wouldn't bother saying it. Yakko had told her to be extra nice to the pig so he would know that she still cared about him and that would make him happy.

He didn't need to tell her that. She was always nice to Porky. He had finally come over and visited with her for awhile and other than being a bit more reserved and sad he seemed happy to see her. He didn't even bug her about not doing any of her homework. But when Yakko got up to leave the room Porky had gone with him, not returning until he did.

If she ever found out who was saying bad things about Porky, she'd kick them. It would hurt - she had the big cast now. She wished she could take it off because it was hot and itchy and her leg didn't hurt anymore but the doctor said she had to wait.

At least he was nice and let her look at her x-rays, showing her where the break was which was interesting.

Dot looked up, seeing Wakko forlornly walk past the den and down the hallway and felt her frown deepen.

Yakko said people said bad things about Foghorn too. He wouldn't tell her what, but whatever it was must have been really bad because he said she should be extra nice to him too.

She would, if he ever came over. He had barely said hi to her at the lot before walking off fast when she and Wakko approached him. He had been with Yakko and Kit and all the adults talking in a big group when Slappy finally said she couldn't take it anymore and had all of them go back.

It had been fun; her crutches were all decorated with ribbons now and she had wanted to show everyone, but Foghorn had just said he didn't feel good and had to go.

She wondered what he got sick from and if he was feeling better now. She hoped he got better soon, Wakko was being a pain because he was bored and wanted to go see Foghorn but the rooster said no, maybe later.

Yakko told Wakko that he hadn't done anything wrong and that Foghorn just needed to get some things straight, but Wakko didn't seem to believe him.

She wished she could do something to cheer Wakko up. Dot had tried to get him to come answer fan mail with her, but he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to play video games. He didn't want to sit and talk. She had even offered to play with his toy cars even though she didn't like them but he didn't want to do that either. She had managed to get him to sit down for a few minutes and watch the new cartoon that Bugs had wanted her to watch, but Wakko didn't like that either. He said it was stupid and boring.

Dot thought it was adorable and fun and was all about love and friendship. And animals were cute; she wanted a plush one. Bugs said it wasn't in their country yet; it was only on in Japan's ToonTown. He said that when and if it ever came out, especially in the U.S., the little toys and plush animals would be mass produced and she could have a hundred of them if she wanted.

She hoped it came out in the U.S. someday. She really wanted a Pikachu plush.

Huffing as she heard Wakko retreat towards the living room area, Dot returned to her small pile of fanmail. Maybe while she was answering them she could come up with a way to cheer Wakko up. In the meantime she had these fans to make happy.

Yakko said she had tons of them, more than she could ever hope to answer. He usually would just grab a random stack and give it to her. Today he had only given her fifteen. He said there was way too much to dump on her because then she would be overwhelmed. If she finished answering these, he said he would give her more.

She would, she always read and answered every one he gave her. Most times they were already opened, but Yakko had told her a long time ago that the studio opened a lot of the children's mail…'just in case'. He never told her what they were looking for, but since she always got letters she never questioned it.

If they weren't open when they were put in the bin for her, Yakko opened them before he gave them to her. Most times he would open them while sitting with her and he'd scan it, then sit down and read it with her, sometimes even helping her decided how to answer it.

The last couple of days Yakko had been really busy. He said he was helping their friends who were having problems. Dot wanted to help too, but he told her the best way she could help was to relax and get better and answer fan mail.

In other words, stay out of whatever it was he was doing.

No matter what he said, Dot knew when she was being pushed off and with her normally doting oldest brother, it was unusual and annoying. She hoped whatever he was doing was really going to help the others. If it was to help someone else she could tolerate sharing him. For a while.

Glancing down at the pile, she noticed a couple of envelopes that were sticking out of the pile, a few of them unopened.

Curious, she pursed her lips and grabbed the top one, her name and the studio address written in large block letters.

She so rarely saw unopened mail, and was curious about what it could possibly contain. Usually Yakko made sure to read all letters that weren't opened by the studio. He did it with Wakko too. Molly said her Mom always read all her mail so Dot knew for once it wasn't just a Yakko thing - all the adults did it.

But Yakko had been careless, if he didn't see that all these envelopes were unopened. Careless, or maybe he had decided that she was old enough to open her own mail? She grinned at the thought; Wakko didn't get that. She did…but then she was more mature than Wakko.

Dot debated on calling Wakko in; maybe some mystery and suspense would snap him back to his old self or he'd be mad she was getting unopened mail. Either way he would be showing more emotions than he had been. She didn't like the gloomy Wakko; he wasn't any fun that way. He wasn't even causing trouble which was also a source of entertainment for her.

She started to and stopped, turning the envelope over and feeling a grin tug at her lips. She recognized this envelope…or who it was from.

The drawing of her was so cute; he was such an amazing artist and the last two fan letters he had written had drawings of her on the back.

She had been flattered with the first one and it was an envelope that had got her and Yakko's attention just because of the drawing, making it stand out in the sea of plain white envelopes. When she had answered, also sending along one of the standard glossies, she had told him what an incredible artist he was.

He had written back, with a more complicated doodle on the back of her and Yakko hugging and wearing bathing suits, once again attracting their attention. That letter had been longer, stating how flattered he was that she liked his art, and that 'Animaniacs' was his inspiration for drawing.

The second letter was a lot longer. He said his name was Howard and he was nine years old - but he was going to be ten soon and he wanted to be an artist when he grew up. He didn't like his name though, so he had all his friends call him 'Ocho', because he started drawing when he was eight. He had two brothers, just like her, and he was the youngest of them, just like her. Howard didn't think his art was that great - but he was always amazed at the singing and dancing she did and said she was an inspiration to him everyday.

She had written back, this time a longer reply. Dot thought it was neat; it was like having a pen pal, a letter she could always look forward to. His letters weren't filled with the silly 'I love you forever can I please have your autograph?'. His letters were exciting, the two she had received. There was a little bit of gushing, but not as much as some, and he would get into detail about his life, telling her stories of his crazy older brothers and the things they did together.

With trembling fingers she carefully began undoing the seal so she wouldn't rip the paper. She liked this picture; this one was of her in a fancy white dress. It was really pretty, like that white dress that lady in the old movie wore…

Dot struggled to remember her name. After a moment it came to her - Marilyn Monroe. Yakko had been watching a movie with her in it once with Kit when he was over visiting. Yakko said she wasn't the best actress he had ever seen, but she was hot. Sexy. It was fun just to look at her.

And the pose was the same Marilyn Monroe was in too, where she was standing on the grate and the skirt was flying in the air and making some attempt to hold the front of the skirt down. Yakko said that was awesome - even Kit was agreeing with him, though when the cub turned around and saw Dot he had gotten quiet, nudging Yakko. They both stopped talking after that.

Ocho's picture made Dot look like that, and she grinned, wondering if she could find a dress like that in her size. Ocho had her wearing makeup and didn't have her ears up in a bow or the silly flower - they were hanging low, brushing her shoulders.

Frowning, Dot reached up, feeling the blue bow she had up there, one of her favorites. But it probably made her look like a little girl - even if she was. She bet if she started acting older that Yakko would stop being so worried - maybe even let her ride again when she was out of the cast.

She yanked the bow out and smoothed her ears down. She wished she could easily get to the bathroom so she could see how she looked. That would be too much work though, and no matter what her mood, she was actually quite comfortable on the couch.

Deciding to look later to see if it made her appear more adult, Dot reached in, feeling a little spark of excitement. Ocho must have written a lot because there was a thick letter this time, more than a page or two.

He had - there were three pages this time, but he had sent pictures. One was of a little boy toon, a collie, holding an art pad and pencil, concentrating on a drawing.

Dot guessed that was Ocho. She studied the picture - he was cute, the way his thick golden fur caught the light as he diligently worked. She wondered if the drawing he was working on was one of her.

Smiling, she looked at the other pictures. Ocho, surrounded by his family at a picnic table. Another one of him dressed in a little black suit and tie, leaning against the wall and looking very suave and debonair.

It was nice, having a picture of him. At least she knew who she was writing to.

She started to read the letter. He said he had been inspired to draw the latest picture of her after watching some movie and saying the actress in that movie was nothing compared to Dot - either in acting skill or beauty. She flushed with pleasure - it didn't happen often on her show, but she could do some serious dramatic acting on occasion. It was a nice change from always screaming how cute she was and running around acting like a crazy girl.

Ocho said he had written immediately after he heard about her riding accident and he bet she was doing great before the fall. He said he had written her lots of letters, but was sure some were delayed just because of the volume of mail she got. He said if he wrote a lot of them, he was almost guaranteed that one of them would make it to her. He also said he was working on a picture of her riding a horse; he bet she looked great in her outfit and he had often fantasized about her in 'stirrups'.

Dot thought that was kinda a weird way to say he wanted to see her while she was riding, but shrugged it off. He probably didn't know anything about horseback riding. If she could ever get her butthead brother to let her do it again, she would invite him to a show to watch.

She kept reading, giggling at the way he said things or the stories he told her, how his brothers were getting on his nerves or his parents wouldn't let him do something he wanted before starting a bit.

At the bottom of the letter he had included his phone number. He said that he would love to hear her voice saying his name and it would be the thrill of a lifetime. He understood that she was busy and probably had tons of other people to call, way more important than him, just some lowly nobody, but, if she ever wanted to talk, about anything, her thoughts or feelings or wishes, he was there. And he was really good at keeping secrets, and he bet she was too.

Dot inhaled, surprised and somewhat pleased. Sometimes fans had sent their phone numbers, or asked for hers. But when she got those letters - if she got them - the phone numbers were always crossed out.

That was too bad; some of the fans actually sounded interesting and she would want to talk to them more. Or some of them had sad stories, like they were really sick and wanted nothing more than to talk to her or one of her brothers.

She had showed some of those letters to Yakko once, begging to be allowed to go see some of them. If they were really sick and wanted a visit it seemed like such a simple request.

He always said no. She had been mad about it, but he explained that sometimes people said things like that to get attention or to get a visit, but they really weren't sick. Sometimes they lied.

Dot thought that was the lowest thing she could think of; how could someone lie about that? He said they would though.

He had helped her get in contact with some volunteer groups though, that had celebrities come and visit sick children. She had gone, several times, even managing to talk Yakko and Wakko to going. Molly went also, her giggling and bouncy personality bringing a smile to everyone's face, even the sick people that were angry about being sick.

Dot liked talking to the people and making them feel better, even if it was only for a little while. She wished she could do more for them. Maybe someday she could.

She cocked her head quizzically, studying the letter.

Ocho's letter had managed to slip past the security at the lot and Yakko, who was probably just as thorough. But, it had…

Yakko had pounded into her head over and over, don't talk to strangers. He said he didn't care how big a star she was, first and foremost she was his little sister and one of his two top priorities. Let the reporters and the fans think she was a snob if she didn't go around a corner to talk to them - she was never to go off with anyone that hadn't been officially granted that right by Yakko himself.

But…

Ocho wasn't really a stranger, was he? She had written to him twice now, and gotten replies back. And she wasn't going off with him - she was just going to call. That wasn't the same thing, was it?

It wasn't like she could ask - Yakko was off doing who knew what. She was bored and wanted someone to talk to. Yakko was being a bully, Wakko was being moody, Bugs was busy.

And it sounded like Ocho was in the same predicament as she was at times, being the youngest and having everyone tell her what to do. And he said he was lonely a lot of times…just like her.

Dot cut her eyes over to the phone, at the other end of the couch. It was just sitting there on the charger; she could hobble over, grab it and call Ocho, no big deal. He said he wanted to talk to her, it would make him really happy.

With that in mind, Dot nodded to herself, reaching for her crutches. She could call. As much as she liked answering fan mail, it got boring, writing the same thing over and over.

Talking would be much different. Yakko was always saying they should be grateful to their fans for making them the stars they were. It was just sort of like…paying them back. She couldn't call all her fans, but she could call one.

And she might make a new friend out of it. She could never have too many friends.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 14, 1996

"You sure this is the right place Bugs? It looks a bit…sketchy, and - "

"Relax Rebecca, I eat here every now and then. When I need something." After a minute Bugs added, "I know the owners."

"Everyone does," Kit drawled. "I've seen their faces before…I think on the wanted posters at the post office."

While Ms. Cunningham told Kit to hush, Yakko choked back a nervous snicker and looked over the menu. He was uncomfortable being in this particular establishment, but he had wanted to come to this meeting. He couldn't very well whine that just because the restaurant was owned by…'questionable' toons it didn't match up to his expectations and he wanted to leave.

After the fuss he had put up to come though, he hoped it would be worth it. Seeing Darkwing pretend to be a real detective and have actually provided something worthwhile should be a rare entertainment experience. In the odd event that the moronic mallard had actually proven useful and found them some sort of information that they could fight with, Yakko didn't want to miss that either.

Of course he didn't believe for a second that Dipwing had found anything useful. He and Kit both were laying their money on Darkwing having merely spent the time preening in front of a mirror and thinking up new awkward one liners. Maybe after Darkwing had proven to be less than useless, Bugs would finally agree and hire a real detective.

Other than the studio giving one short statement in which they said all allegations were false and they were firmly standing behind their employees during this crisis, no one had done much of anything. Plotz had also warned him that for now, to let things rest, follow Bugs' directions and refuse to speak to any reporters, he didn't care what they wanted to talk to him about.

Foghorn had finally found the film, being reminded of it by Bugs since the rabbit had ridden his ass about it all week. The rooster had been reminded again when he arrived at the specified meeting place. He clamed he found them in the garage under a carburetor, whatever the hell that was.

Yakko just hoped that whatever it was hadn't damaged the film, or it hadn't been warped sitting in a warm greasy garage for the past couple of weeks. Bugs had beamed when Foghorn had handed the film over with a shrug. The rabbit seemed to think there was enough photographic evidence of wrongdoing on the weasel's part to help them, if they could get the film. He already said that from what Ms. Cunningham had told him from her brief conversations with Dipwing that Seymour may be a bit of a weirdo himself.

He felt the rolls in his pocket, hoping he could develop them without destroying them.

Several other articles had come out, and with the names involved it had migrated into the general newspapers, along with entertainment news shows, calling out questions of whether stars got more preferential treatment than was fair and if funny things were happening on the studio lots, and how much was too much. He had been going crazy trying to keep his siblings away from the television as much as possible. Wakko had been getting more and more suspicious, but luckily Dot, his sweet innocent little Dot, was happy to watch videos, especially if he sat and watched some with her.

But with all the allegations and questions flying around, things had finally come to a head and TIS had wanted to talk to them, including Bugs. While unhappy, Yakko had no choice but to allow Wakko and Dot to speak to them. The lady that came from TIS, Margret, was hardly friendly, adding much unneeded stress to Yakko's current mind state.

However, she finally had to admit she could find no signs of abuse or neglect or any wrongdoing; Wakko and Dot - and Yakko himself - were all healthy, seemed to be of somewhat sound mental stability, their grades were decent, and the studio wasn't forcing them to work more hours than they were allowed to by law. She did say several times she didn't agree with the _guardian ad slavis_ or allowing Yakko - a former criminal - to have any guardianship duties over two younger children, she didn't care what his current occupation was now.

Bugs told him not to worry too much. They only needed her to agree there were no signs of abuse or neglect now. When the time came for him to file for legal custody he would offer whatever support and assistance he could to make sure it worked out.

Kit said Disney was offering their full support, especially when TIS had started coming over.

TIS had been over to the Cunningham house several times, talking to him and Molly, checking tutoring records and Ms. Cunningham's financials. He even said they had popped up to do a surprise inspection on the house, doing such time wasting activities like checking the refrigerator to make sure there was plenty of food in stock and inspecting the bathroom to make sure it was neat and tidy.

They had declared that them being there checking on the Cunningham's was a waste of time. It seemed like a good healthy home, nothing was out of order. The agent did say he might be back to check on things from time to time, but that there was no reason to panic. TIS wanted to keep children with parents, not split them up. If they found something to cause them worry, they would try to work with them before deciding on more severe measures.

Kit said Ms. Cunningham had almost passed out from relief. Weak-kneed, when TIS had left she had collapsed onto the couch, pulling Molly and Kit close and had just sat there for a while clutching them.

"The owners might be a little on the shady side themselves, but this is good neutral ground," Bugs said, his face hidden behind the menu. "Rocky wouldn't let a reporter come in here…well, they might come in, but they ain't going out doc, not by themselves. He barely tolerates cops in here - "

"Wouldn't mind - I say - wouldn't mind seeing a few boys in blue in here," Foghorn muttered. "Bet this place would empty out quick."

_Probably true._

Yakko looked around. For a restaurant owned by a couple of known gangsters, it was surprisingly nice. The clientele was neat and well dressed, but had the air of criminal activity surrounding them. Not the low level thugs Yakko had run into on the streets; they were simply the workers. This place was way too classy for them; this eatery was for their bosses. The brains of the operations.

And Bugs was on good terms with the owners, having known Rocky and Mugsy for years. In the past he had found himself in a few tight spots and they had offered their assistance. Years later, when the studio wanted to try out having a couple of gangster characters in a few shorts Bugs had immediately thought of them. Using his considerable pull with the studio, he had been able to convince the casting directors to use the two of them.

When they wanted to go 'legit' - so they claimed - Bugs fronted them the money and backing to help them open their eatery, 'Unmentionables'. Bugs said he was pretty sure they weren't fully legit - but they made a damn tasty Eggplant Parmesan and since he never witnessed any criminal activity himself, he refused to stop frequenting the restaurant.

He would admit that the clientele was a little…sketchy. But he claimed he knew that Rocky wouldn't let anyone start any fights in his place. If anyone did, Mugsy was there to break it up. And if Mugsy didn't, one of his many gang members would. According to Bugs, one didn't do anything to jeopardize this restaurant. Never come between a gangster and his food.

To be honest, Yakko was surprised the Bugs allowed him to join the group for this little meeting. Even if the meeting concerned Yakko and his siblings as well, it was still happening in a questionable enough location that the rabbit had balked at allowing him to come. But Kit was going along too, though against Ms. Cunningham's wishes.

Plus, Foghorn was there. With his size - not to mention the mood the rooster had been in lately - Yakko was pretty sure the only one who would screw with anyone in this group was either very stupid or suicidal.

Yakko knew Bugs had a surprising number of connections in the criminal world. Bugs wasn't a criminal himself exactly, but the way he explained it, sometimes he needed something done or certain information, and he couldn't go through legal channels. When that happened, he had 'friends' he could call for some assistance.

In return, the 'friends' sometimes wanted something from him. Bugs said it was normally tickets to a premier, maybe a backstage pass to a concert or to watch the filming of a movie or show. He had never been asked to do anything questionable, and he said he never foresaw it happening. These guys he knew, though he didn't agree with some of their activities, weren't all bad.

Rocky, just like everyone else in ToonTown, had read the papers and seen the short snippets on the news about what was happening. He didn't believe any of it either, and had made an appearance at Bugs' house, surprising Yakko, delighting Wakko who declared he wanted to see Rocky' gun, which scared Dot who didn't want anything to do with the gangster.

Yakko had been banned from taking part in Bugs and Rocky's conversation, which irked him. Bugs and the tiny little gangster in the big hat with an even bigger mouth had disappeared behind the office door.

Not that it mattered; Yakko simply listened through the keyhole. Unfortunately Bugs had noticed him, yanking the door open and pieing him. Bugs hadn't moved quick enough though; Yakko had heard Rocky asking the rabbit if he wanted him to 'mess dat reporter up good' or 'get rid of him…permanent like'.

Thankfully, Bugs wasn't going that route. Instead he had mentioned that he would need a private place to meet with some parties that had interest in this case and their 'detective'. Some place safe, where they could be assured of privacy and discretion.

Rocky had immediately offered his place, saying he would put them in one of the back private party rooms. They would get their privacy, they wouldn't be bothered, and he would be able to make a few bucks on meals.

"Foghorn, nothing's gonna happen," Bugs said. "I wouldn't have brought Yakko with me if I thought it was."

Yakko stiffened slightly but held his tongue. Bugs actually hadn't wanted him to come, saying he would tell him what he learned. He'd record it for him if need be. Bugs actually wanted him to go over to Porky's house with Dot, or Buster's house with Wakko.

Insulted, Yakko had actually fought back, demanding Bugs reconsider. After all, the meeting concerned him and his family as much as anyone else. He had been through almost as much in the last few days as the rest of the group; he deserved to be present.

He had also been instrumental in getting Foghorn to agree to go to this meeting. The rooster had only been displaying two moods since this entire false scandal had come out. Pissed off and depressed.

Foghorn had barely left his house, and like Porky said he had been inundated for requests for interviews for a few days. It had begun to die off, only for Seymour Globe to write another cutting expose, bringing the subject up again along with new allegations.

Yakko had been doing what he could to keep Wakko and Dot close to home, or at least out of the public eye. He had heard a few older kids yell some nasty things to his younger siblings when they had ventured out with Bugs to eat. All that had done was confuse Dot. Wakko, slightly older and with more knowledge, had managed to get some of the story out of Yakko since he understood more of what the other children were shouting.

As expected, Wakko had been enraged and had to be stopped from going to try to mallet everyone within range. Yakko was just happy Wakko had been happy with a very edited account of the article and hadn't prodded him for details.

Dot…wasn't happy with being left out, but thankfully when told that Foghorn was still 'sick' and unhappy she had sighed and began drawing another picture for him.

Yakko was happy; he could keep her ignorant of most of it.

Porky was trying to conduct business as usual - as well he could anyway. He was still coming to visit Dot and spending time with her.

Foghorn was distancing himself from Wakko, barely talking to him, refusing to bring him over to his house, discuss cars or anything else with him. He was treating Wakko like a stranger; Yakko and Dot too. His thinking was if he stayed away he could keep them away from most of this scandal, despite the fact they had been alluded to several times.

Yakko understood what the rooster was trying to do and appreciated his thinking but he was beginning to get irritated with him as well. The way he was acting was simply upsetting Wakko, who was an innocent in this.

With Bugs' blessing and assistance Yakko had finally just brought Wakko and Dot over to the rooster's house, unannounced since Foghorn refused to give a straight answer, if he bothered to answer the phone. Since the normally outgoing rooster had turned into a hermit, Yakko had decided to take it upon himself to attempt to shake the rooster up and return him to his old self. Not only was Wakko miserable, Bugs had turned into a royal pain in the ass since Foghorn's mood change.

Not that he blamed Bugs; he was having to deal with a publicity crisis, but his best friend had gone funny in the head, barely leaving the house. Yakko was happy he was at Bugs' house in the interim, just so he could help the rabbit maintain what little bit of sanity he still had left.

The visit had worked though, at least for a time. Foghorn had seemed to snap out of his melancholy state; he made a big fuss over Dot's drawings for him, seemingly delighted she had chosen to draw cars for his 'get well soon' pictures.

Wakko had perked back up, being in the rooster's company. Yakko had been growing worried about him; as annoying as he could be at times, he knew his brother's personality well. The sad, droopy eared confused boy who had been moping around Bugs' house wasn't his brother.

Later, Wakko had said he thought Foghorn was still upset though. He knew how the rooster worked; his office and his thoughts might be in a constant state of disarray, but never his garage or tools. Each tool was put away in precisely the right place. When he wasn't working the garage door was always closed. The yard was always cut.

He said when they went out to look at their new project car the garage had tools scattered around. Wakko said the garage door was half opened and Foghorn still seemed somewhat distracted.

All Yakko could tell was there was two great hulking scraps of metal in there that they claimed was two trucks of the same model; damned if he knew what it was. He knew he wasn't getting anywhere near it; it was filthy. Springs sticking out of the seats, he was pretty sure that one of them didn't have a motor…or a hood. Or something.

He had no idea. He knew it was missing integral parts that would enable it to run. Let gear heads like Foghorn and Wakko figure it out. He had every intention of purchasing a running vehicle when his time came.

But with the visit snapping Foghorn out of his shell, showing him what he was missing by actually associating with people, it drew him out too much. Now they had to watch him with a wary eye in case he went off the deep end. He was still swearing he and a twelve gauge could solve all this, if they would tell him where the reporter was.

Porky might not be quite as lively as Foghorn was, but at least he was this side of sane.

Yakko was able to point out to Bugs that he had demonstrated maturity beyond his years…like he always did. That - and a lot of begging and flattery - had finally convinced Bugs to let him come to the meeting, grudgingly.

Yakko was surprised that Darkwing was agreeing to meet them in broad daylight. For 'the terror that flaps in the night' he sure did a lot of work during normal business hours.

Kit said Ms. Cunningham had been the same way, wanting to leave him at home under the weak guise of having to babysit Molly. Somehow he had managed to convince her to have Molly go over Porky's house with Dot, saying he thought it would show perfect trust in the pig, to leave her little girl with him.

" and we needed a place that we won't be hounded by reporters and Rocky's place fits," Bugs said from beside Yakko, barely looking over the top of the menu. "Besides, you know Rocky - you think he's gonna let anything happen in his place?" With a snort Bugs added, "This is his baby - he loves owning the restaurant."

"He should," Foghorn muttered, glancing over the menu again. "It's probably his one and only legitimate business."

"Long as the food's good," Yakko muttered to Kit, who was sitting beside him at the large round table. "God knows the company's gonna suck."

"Tell me about it," Kit muttered back. "He called yesterday to talk to Re…Mom, to set up this little half-assed meeting."

"Surprised he called," Yakko mumbled. "Figured he'd be too busy staring at himself in the mirror and dreaming up strained one liners."

"I wish," Kit snickered. "I didn't realize it was him at first; he was whispering into the phone like some sort of pervert. About told him to go jack…"

Kit trailed off, exchanging a glance with Yakko before muttering 'tell ya later' as a shadowy figure swept up to the table. Ms. Cunningham sent Kit a withering look before standing and greeting Darkwing with a warm smile.

"Unusual choice of meeting places," Darkwing said quietly, gazing around with a look of suspicion and disgust. "You realize who owns this den of thieves?"

"Friends of mine," Bugs stated firmly. "Take a seat Dip…I mean doc; no one's gonna bother you here."

"I'd rather stand, stay on my toes, to keep a lookout for any of the criminal element that might sneak up - "

"Yeah, sure doc," Bugs answered, raising an eyebrow at the duck before shrugging at Ms. Cunningham's look. In a tone that suggested skepticism he asked, "So, Rebecca said you got some information?"

"Plenty." Standing to his full height and raising a fist over his head, Darkwing said grandly, "With Darkwing on the job - "

"Everyone's screwed," Yakko muttered, ignoring Kit's snort of amusement and Bugs' look of warning.

Darkwing sent a scathing look at Yakko while muttering under his breath about snot nosed kids who think they know everything. After a moment the mallard tossed a thick stack of papers on the table, startling everyone sitting.

Yakko frowned at them. Some pictures - of what looked like Darkwing sadly enough. Other pictures of various stars at functions; Yakko saw a few of himself, a couple more of his siblings, one of Kit with whatever flavor of the week he had been interested in at the time. A few pads with scribbling on them, some drawings, and multiple documents with notes scrawled across them.

Hearing some confused mutterings and snorts, Yakko shook his head. As he expected, a waste of time. Darkwing was showing them his publicity kit.

"Told ya - I say - told ya," Foghorn sighed, pushing himself back from the table and making ready to stand. "The chance this boy found anything useful is about as likely as Steven Hawking winning a gold medal."

"I agree," Kit muttered angrily, turning his scornful look from the papers to Yakko. "That top picture looks like something out of those inkblot test things."

"The Rorschach test," Yakko muttered quietly.

"Nerd." Looking at the picture again Kit snickered. "I see a duck so full of unwarranted self importance that we'll need an extra chair so his ego can sit down too. Does that mean I'm crazy?"

"Huh, and all I saw was a butterfly," Yakko said breezily, leaning back in his chair. "I don't see anything important here." Closing his eyes he added, "Wake me if he says anything note worthy."

"Gonna be a long nap," Kit answered.

"If you can get your children under control," Darkwing said testily, stressing the word 'children'. "I might be able to explain what I found."

Yakko felt Bugs smack him on the head hard enough he almost went face first into his glass of soda. The only thing that made it somewhat better was the fact that Ms. Cunningham took a page out of the rabbit's book and did the same thing to Kit.

Foghorn muttered, "This better be good duck - "

"It is; I wouldn't bother coming if I didn't have anything," Darkwing said haughtily. "I have enough real criminals I could be perusing that I can't afford to waste my time going after fake ones."

"Surprised - I say - surprised you're helping at all," Foghorn said archly, crossing his arms and looking the duck over. "You and most of the folk at this table aren't exactly on friendly terms. Why the sudden desire to help?"

"Foghorn!" Bugs snapped, his voice overpowering Ms. Cunningham's own disapproving tone.

Darkwing peered at Foghorn for a moment before saying, "I was asked nicely by one person at this table to offer my assistance and considerable skills at tracking the criminal element."

Darkwing sent a sweet smile towards Ms. Cunningham, which she returned. Yakko heard Kit gag quietly and snorted again, pushing the urge back to gag himself.

Foghorn, no matter how he asked, had brought up an interesting point. Why would Darkwing, who was hardly what anyone would say was in their usual circle of friends, all of a sudden helping them?

Bugs sighed before saying, "Let's hear him out Foggy. If he found out anything- "

"Oh, I did," the duck interrupted. "Took some work, but there it is. Notes, copies of the next 'fact-filled' article on you guys…and some others." Darkwing narrowed his eyes for a moment and added, "He's expanding his reach; he's going after me now-"

"Must be writing a comedy piece," Foghorn mumbled.

"Foghorn…" Bugs sighed, throwing an apologetic look towards Darkwing. "Sorry Mac, don't mind him. We've all had a bad week - "

"I would think so," Darkwing acknowledged. "Seymour's week is about to be worse; I've arrested him twice on Disney property, trying to get pictures and stories that don't need to be brought to the public's attention. This time…this time he had some pictures of Gosalyn…no one writes about my daughter or takes photos of her. Seymour and I will have a little visit at some point, if I ever find him again."

"What's that mean?" Foghorn asked, flexing one massive hand a few times before balling it into a fist.

"Seymour's gone into hiding is the word on the street," Darkwing said. "Hasn't been seen at his seedy little apartment in days. Hasn't gone back to the office since he noticed his papers missing. He's a smarter man than I gave him credit for."

Yakko raised an eyebrow. Darkwing was mad, obviously; no one could blame him if the reporter was going after his child.

This wasn't the normal way he had seen the duck though. Normally, when he was angry, he went flying into a tirade, screaming and hollering, attracting attention by the sheer lunacy of his words and actions.

This was a new Darkwing, a darker version of the clown duck Yakko had often teased and tormented and who caught pies in the face from his younger brother and his friends. Darkwing looked completely in control of himself, calmer than Batman.

Except for the ice-blue eyes that were peering out from behind the dark purple mask. Yakko suppressed a shiver. He had always written Darkwing off as a moron, a wanna-be crime-fighter whose talents at best might be used to hustle off kids loitering at the local mall.

There was a chance - a very off chance - that Ms. Cunningham was actually right, that Darkwing was actually much more capable than they had given him credit for. Perhaps he wasn't a complete waste of feathers and blink after all.

Yakko did know that he was very glad he wasn't Seymour Globe at the moment. He wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of anyone at the table, but Darkwing was actually…frightening. No longer a joke to be ridiculed and dismissed.

" - and I want to know where he is - "

"Don't tell him doc; I'll have to bail the crazy rooster out of jail - "

"Rather be in jail than have everyone think I'm some sort of child neglecting pervert!" Foghorn said loudly. "Even Porky's been driven - "

"Don't do anything" Darkwing ordered, turning his dark gaze to Foghorn. "You're too well known - and unfortunately – too well respected to sully your reputation by beating a reporter to a pulp. And whether I like it or not, numerous children look up to you, including the younger Warner boy. Being arrested for assault would tarnish that and could make people think that perhaps the reporter wasn't incorrect about some of the other things that have been said."

When Foghorn went to speak again Darkwing said firmly, "Rest assured, when I find him, I will take care of it."

"It'd be - I say - it'd be much more rewarding to do it myself," Foghorn sulked.

Bugs gave Foghorn an exasperated look before turning back to Darkwing, asking, "Did he have any more pictures you didn't take?"

"I destroyed any other pictures and film I found. Some were…let's just say that certain princesses' reputations would be ruined if they ever came out. I'm still in charge of their security and while some of them are a bit flighty and have enormous egos, I will not let their reputations be ruined by some two-bit reporter looking for his big break."

"Was that wise?" Ms. Cunningham asked. "If he's - "

"I've taken all his pictures and documents from his office, or the ratty closet the newspaper gave him and called an office," Darkwing said coldly. "The pictures concerning any of you are in that pile. I also researched his supposed 'sources' on the big scandal with the kids and a few other so-called 'scoops'. The sources are fakes - "

"Shoulda figured," Bugs muttered.

"Every reporter has to give sources, even if they never name them publicly or in court," Darkwing explained, ignoring Bugs. "The reporter has to believe what he is stating is true."

"But nothing is true - "

"I realize that you overstuffed chicken!" Darkwing snapped, glaring at Foghorn. "Trust me, if I thought you were guilty of any of this I would be the first to slap handcuffs on you! The fact that you were merely questioned and never charged tells me that more people than you think believe you're innocent as well."

"Fine Doc fine," Bugs said, putting a restraining hand on Foghorn's shoulder while waving the other one to Darkwing. "Just calm down; we appreciate what you're doing - "

"I can hardly tell."

"Look Darkwing, this is getting bad. His last two articles promised more revenge-generating stories would be on the way. And if these sources - "

"Most of his 'sources' are made up. The ones who were real…I got suspicious when I started seeing several familiar names…this one," Darkwing said, pointing towards a name. "William 'Clutch' Hernandez - "

"Clutch? That kid from the car show?" Foghorn asked, his angry features twisting in confusion at the mention of the name.

"Yes, that kid from the car show," Darkwing mimicked nastily. "A known gang member, hangs around in Clampett, arrested several times for forgery and gross toon misconduct. Even has a car theft charge pending. A couple other names in here are associated with the police, drug users who will say anything for a buck. One of the idiots thought I was Foghorn he was so high on Twink." Scanning the notepad briefly Darkwing added, "The only legitimate interview in here was with the lady who said you grabbed her kid and panicked - "

"Thought he was the boy!"

"Think about it Foghorn," Bugs said. "If a six-foot tall rooster grabbed my kid from behind I think I'd panic at first too."

"A simple interview twisted into what the reporter wanted," Darkwing explained, still reading the paper while Bugs began to look through the stack. "She wasn't even that upset about it, according to Seymour's notes. Looks like he embellished the story a bit."

"We can't tell the papers that though," Yakko said. When everyone turned to look at him he pointed out, "I don't think the papers will like knowing that Dripwing - I mean - Darkwing is breaking into reporters' offices and stealing their notes."

"Or maybe they will like it," Kit drawled. "Imagine the headlines when that comes out."

"I'd rather not have that publicly touted," Darkwing said, flipping his cape over his shoulder before pulling his large grey fedora lower on his head. "I have a reputation to uphold."

Yakko went to make a comment but silenced himself, especially at seeing another picture in the pile, one of Dot and Wakko. Dot's head was on Wakko's lap and both were asleep.

He reached out for the picture, studying it for a moment. They both looked younger; he wondered when and where it had been taken. All of them were occasionally photographed when they didn't realize it; on the lot by a tourist as they passed, while shopping or at the beach. It came with the territory of being stars, even if he didn't always like it or approved.

He finally shrugged; it didn't matter under what circumstances it had been taken. Seymour, in his quest for a big story, would probably make it something sickening. He was beginning to mention more names in his articles; at some point he and his tabloid might get brazen enough to beginning to mention Wakko and Dot more.

Darkwing's intervention had stopped any further articles from appearing for the moment, giving them some breathing room. Yakko hoped someday this would all be gone and he could finally hand the television remote back to his sister.

"And now I must depart," Darkwing said grandly. Bending over to kiss Ms. Cunningham's hand and causing Kit to gag again the mallard added, "I have some additional hunches to check - "

"On Seymour?" Ms. Cunningham asked.

"On him, and others," Darkwing said mysteriously. "Crime doesn't take a holiday, even when I get distracted helping a friend. Besides, Gosalyn has a baseball game in several hours I want to attend."

With that, Darkwing stepped back into the shadows and began to slowly walk towards the large doors leading out of the private room.

"And to fully answer your question Foghorn, I'm helping not only because of Rebecca or the fact that I have a few issues I want to discuss with Seymour myself. A large part of it is because of the children, yours and mine. Out of all the criminals around the ones that prey on children are the worst and the ones I go after the hardest."

"Thank you," Ms. Cunningham said before glaring around the table at everyone. "Even if everyone else is too impolite to say it, I can't tell you how much this helps."

"Yeah doc," Bugs chimed in, standing and walking towards Darkwing, his hand extended. "Even if I didn't initially show it, I'm impressed. And grateful; thank you for your help."

Darkwing looked down at Bugs' hand for a moment, studying it like he expected the rabbit to pull back at the last minute and instead pull out a large boxing glove and hit him. After a few wary seconds, the mallard nodded and took the rabbit's hand giving it one firm shake before releasing it.

"Mighta underestimated you," Foghorn sighed as both Bugs and Ms. Cunningham turned to stare at him. Standing and extending his own hand as well he added, "Rather have taken care of this myself, but maybe this way is better."

"It is," Darkwing acknowledged, giving Foghorn's hand a brief shake. "And remember what I said. When I find this Seymour, he'll get no sympathy from me. While I can't make the stories disappear or make the tabloids and papers print retractions, hopefully what I did do will ensure there are no further stories."

"Ehhhhh…"

Yakko choked off a comment along the lines of 'you've been pestering me for years you child-stalking hypocrite!' and stood. Darkwing was helping not only him and his friends, but his siblings, even if they would never know it.

He was aware that most toons didn't like Darkwing much. He was looked at as a publicity-seeking fool; apparently there was more to the duck than anyone gave him credit for.

Plus, Bugs and Foghorn had both apologized and thanked the duck. With a sigh Yakko acknowledged that he probably owed the duck one as well. If he wanted to be taken seriously by the adults, being able to offer up thanks or an apology when it was called for came with the territory.

"Thank you, for what you're doing." Feeling awkward thanking what he always considered a bitter enemy Yakko ran a hand through his hair and added, "I know we're not on great terms, but I appreciate what you're doing for us."

"Yeah, same here," Kit sighed, looking at Yakko and shrugging before standing as well. "I still think you're a jerk and I still don't see why you're helping us since you seem to think half of us are criminals, but thanks."

Darkwing paused and turned, looking at both of them.

Yakko stared back, hoping the duck would just say 'you're welcome' and leave. He hoped he would be that lucky, but Darkwing was known for being longwinded. Maybe that was an act to; he had proven useful enough.

"You're welcome." Narrowing his eyes at the two of them briefly he turned again, walking towards the door. "Good to know I do more than…what did you say…oh, stare at myself in the mirror and dream up strained one liners."

"Ehhhhh, yeah, sorry about that," Yakko muttered, shifting uncomfortably. "I talk too much sometimes."

Not turning, Darkwing gave one sharp nod of his head and said, "There may be hope for you both yet. Unexpected maturity; I'm impressed."

"Oh gee, rare praise from Darkwing," Kit said sarcastically. "No longer convinced that we're devil spawn?"

"I used to see the world in black and white. Yes, for a long time I thought you were trying to pull a fast one on Rebecca. I thought Warner there was trying to pull a fast one on an entire studio." Darkwing admitted quietly. "But with age and experience comes maturity and wisdom like I can see it's come to you two."

With that Darkwing disappeared out the door, blending into the shadows in the dark hallway. After a moment his voice echoed through the room again, so quietly that Yakko had to strain his ears to pick up what he was saying.

"Before I matured as a crime fighter, a criminal was a criminal, end of story. There was no story or reasoning behind a criminal act. Over time…thanks to you two, I now tend to see things in shades of gray."

XXXXXXXXXX

June 15, 1996

_6/4/1996 - Lopez, Armando - Trespassing_

_6/1/1996 - Yorkus, Edward - Vandalism_

_5/24/1996 - Skulley, Rachella - Personal Injury_

Bored, Yakko stifled a yawn and flipped the manila file folder open. Rachella Skulley apparently tripped getting into the tram for the studio tour and cut her leg. Attached were several photos of a large girl wearing a 'Disney Afternoon' shirt with her garish red hair in pigtails. In the next picture she was pointing to a small cut on her pale fleshy leg.

He squinted at the picture; he had seen paper cuts worse than she had. What a whiner. And what sort of idiot wore a 'Disney Afternoon' shirt to a Warner Brothers tour? In all that purple, she looked like 'Grimace' from the McDonalds' ads.

Wondering how much money she had managed to get out of the studio for the minor injury, Yakko closed the file and put it in the 'S' drawer before looking around the filing room.

He normally didn't mind doing some filing or other light office duties. It was hardly the most fun he ever had but he felt like he had to do something to help.

Filing went along with Snap's job of running the photography lab, and the man had plenty to do. Every time someone needed a new publicity photo, or a picture needed to be blown up, cropped, printed, shipped - all that was scheduled and arranged by Snaps.

He had a small number of people who worked under him, but in the end, Snaps was still responsible for everything. Since he was always nice to him, letting him use the equipment and supplies in the lab Yakko usually tried to assist him with filing or some other light clerical task simply because Snaps usually didn't have the time for it.

Since he had met Snaps, the man had been a decent friend and was actually quite knowledgeable on a variety of things from the mundane to the truly bizarre.

Yakko smirked to himself, remembering running into the man when he had accidentally wandered into the photo lab one day when he had been walking the lot, bored. He had tripped, knocking over a box of empty film canisters and surprising the man who was crawling around under the table looking for a dropped negative.

He had to wince as he remembered. Snaps had smacked his head roughly on the bottom of the table, sending his granny-glasses crashing to the floor. Dazed and confused, he had shot between the table legs after them in a blur of stringy brown hair and blue and green tie dye to ask why Yakko was 'sneaking up on him like a cop man'.

He had been suspicious at first, thinking Yakko was a 'narc' or was some star coming in to command free film developing and had demanded to know how he got past security and was able to walk into a secure location.

After getting over his shock that Yakko hadn't actually wanted anything he was just lost - and finding out Yakko was an amateur photographer too - Snaps had declared it was 'like karma man!' and had invited him back anytime. He had told him usually the door to the lab was locked - the pictures in there were considered high security - but he told him to call from a studio phone before hand and he would allow him entry. Yakko had found that he was always welcome in the photo lab and was usually greeted with a warm smile.

At first Yakko had tried to limit his visits; he liked the man but realized that he was there to do a job not to entertain bored teenagers stuck on a movie studio lot. Over time though he had found his visits growing more frequent, especially when on occasion Snaps allowed him to help with developing or other tasks in the darkroom. With the long gaps between filming and constantly being on the lot, Yakko had welcomed a bit of new conversation, especially on a subject he enjoyed.

He had first dismissed Snaps as some burned out hippie, still living a lost dream from the sixties. Over time he had been happy to find out he was wrong; while Snaps looked and spoke like a stereotypical hippie, thankfully there was more to him than that.

Their odd friendship had blossomed over time. Yakko had probably learned more about photography from Snaps than in his classes. The man had been happy for a willing assistant in the darkroom and had happily shown him what to do, all while telling him the best ways to frame a photo before snapping a picture or how to adjust for light and shadows.

He also shared amusing tidbits about his life, everything from getting lost on his way to 'Woodstock' and missing the concert of the century to his life growing up in northern California on some hippie commune.

And the man seemed genuinely interested in Yakko's life as well and unlike most fans, he wasn't fascinated by his stardom. Working on the studio lot for more years than Yakko had been alive, Snaps said fame was fleeting. Stardom came and went, and the stars came and went with it. He wanted to know what made Yakko tick, his thoughts and feelings on things, what he wanted to do with his life beyond being a star on a show.

Most times they tended not to agree on any subject, whether it was about environmental affairs, music or whether weed and other recreational drugs should be legalized. Yakko didn't make a habit of hanging around with suspected drug users - he was pretty sure Snaps was the type to 'wake and bake' - but he made an exception for the aging flower-child.

He just didn't ever eat any of the homemade brownies the man routinely offered him. He was tolerant, not stupid.

Over time he had discovered that Snaps was not only busy, he was rather lacking in office skills and had offered to help with that, in exchange for letting him use the photo lab equipment and supplies. Snaps had declared it was the grooviest suggestion he ever heard. Since the lab was high security, a pass was needed to gain entry through the doors.

Eventually, Snaps had managed to get him an access card; it couldn't get him everywhere, but it did let him get past the main double doors of the building where the lab was.

The man usually had a thick stack of files with names and dates on them that needed to be sorted and filed away in one of the many rooms and cabinets. Usually he was so busy trying to develop the film and handling requests from employees for various things that he routinely fell behind on clerical tasks and while Yakko wasn't there everyday to help, any assistance offered was appreciated.

When Yakko had shown up early in the morning, he had seen the stack. He didn't mind; it gave him something to do while he waited for his film to develop and took his mind off his own worries. Snaps seemed busier than normal and hadn't had much time to chat, though he seemed genuinely happy to see him since he hadn't been on the lot in a few weeks.

Yakko looked around the filing room as he put the files for '5/30/1996 - Carter, Alphonso - Automobile Collision; Stage 17' and '5/30/1996 - Carter, Alphonso - Equipment Damage, Stage 17' in the 'C' drawer.

More pictures were taken on the lot than Yakko had ever dreamed. He knew the tourists took pictures, and he was well aware of the publicity photos that all stars took. His own were due to be updated soon. The studio took tons of pictures of its stars to give to magazines, trade journals and such.

He just never knew that other photos were taken, mundane pictures of props and sets and equipment. A car like the Batmobile for instance had countless photographs taken of it from all sides, just in case it was damaged and needed to be repaired and replaced.

Other cars used in filming had numerous photographs taken of them from all angles, in the event they were damaged or needed to be recreated at a future time.

Yakko had no idea that that many pictures of any set needed to be taken, figuring that anything that needed to be recreated they could just watch an old copy of the show for. But Snaps said they had to know how the set was put together from all angles. Watching an episode or a movie wouldn't show how the rest of the set was put together, the backs of walls where wiring was for lights, or microphones for the sounds. Photographs were excellent documentation in the event of a sequel or in the event that a cancelled series was brought back.

He had found binders of nothing but pictures of the sets used for 'Tiny Toons' - the hallways, the classrooms, Buster's room set, the stage and pool they had made for scenes of Plucky's house…

There was a room full of nothing but binders full of set photographs, dating back to the beginnings of the studio, some of the oldest ones from the filming of an old 'Rin Tin Tin' series and 'Mammy' in black and white and so grainy that he could barely make the images out. Curious and digging around, he had found a binder of sets from his own show; everything from interior shots of the tower to Pinky and The Brain's cage and the Acme Lab.

There were other photos of the stars, some of the oldest ones sitting in chairs relaxing, driving around the lot, eating, greeting fans…

Snaps said everything that happened on the lot was documented. Everything. Just in case they needed the photographs at some point.

Yakko had cringed when Snaps wanted to show him a 'cool' collection of photos, then proceeded to show him some pictures of the Batmobile with a golf cart smashed into the side of it. Snaps even had photos of Dr. Scratchansniff's car smashed into the guard shack.

There were pictures of accidents, everything from a fallen camera to an accident involving someone on the lot. Anyone who got hurt - photographs were taken. Equipment was damaged - photographs were taken. Anyone who was arrested or banned from the lot - photographs were taken of them. Snaps said lots of paparazzi were banned since they were the ones usually trying to sneak on the lot.

Normally, they were given a warning to not return, photographs were taken by security, and they were sent off. If they came back, they were arrested and charged with trespassing.

At Snaps' suggestion, Yakko had looked in the files for Seymour Globe, and had found he had been banned from Warner Brother's Studio property in 1993 when he had been found snooping around the 'Natural Born Killers' set and managing to secure a few photographs of Juliette Lewis in her changing room.

Yakko had grimaced at that; this guy wanted to accuse good men of being perverts and weirdoes, and he could be accused of the same thing himself. He had made a copy of the notes before putting the file back. Bugs might find it useful. Any information that could be used to discredit the weasel would be worth having a copy of.

He bent down to the bottom drawer to file away 'Xanth, Anthony - Trespassing' when he started at a loud nerve jarring ringing.

_Shit!_

Startled, Yakko jumped when the phone in the lab down the hall ring began to ring. Surprised, he shot up straight, slamming his head into a drawer open above him and causing him to drop most of the documents in his hand.

Damn it. Now he not only had to file them, he was going to have to organize them again.

Annoyed, he sent an angry glare over his shoulder towards the direction of the lab where he could hear the noise. Who the hell would be calling the photo lab, especially on a Saturday? He and Snaps were the only ones in there today.

Snaps was there working on a project for the publicity department, gathering together pictures of some new dog toons for a show that would be premiering in the fall. Road Rovers or some nonsense; Yakko knew enough about the premise to think the entire thing sounded ridiculous.

Unfortunately, Snaps now probably thought he was some sort of wannabe Playboy photographer now. When Yakko had hesitantly asked if Snaps minded if he did the film himself since they were kinda private, the aging hipped had stared at him for a moment in shock.

Then, getting a knowing smirk on his face he had declared 'Oh, that type of photo shoot! Say no more little dude! Knowing you she's gotta be a hottie!'.

Yakko only wished it was 'that type of photo shoot' with a 'hottie'.

Waiting another moment to see if Snaps was going to appear and answer the damned thing, Yakko finally let out an aggravated sigh and stomped towards the lab. Reaching up and gingerly feeling the sore spot on his head, he determined it had better be something important. If it wasn't, someone was going to get an earful before he slammed the receiver down in their ear.

He groaned when he heard the phone stop ringing, annoyed he had rushed down to the lab for nothing. Checking his watch, he heard the automatic film processing machine lurch to a shuddering halt.

The second roll of film was finished developing. The first roll had been damaged; whatever had been on them was gone forever. Yakko had a feeling knowing this photographer, that was probably a blessing.

Yakko shrugged and went into the lab to see what - if anything - was on the second roll.

He was happy Snaps had one of the machines in the lab. While anything important had more time spent on it in a darkroom to ensure perfection, the normal run of the mill pictures of damaged equipment or graffiti on studio property was simply run through the automatic film processing machine.

It was surprisingly easy to operate. It was the same machine all the 'one hour photo' places used, and Yakko had seen the people that worked at some of those places. It had to be easy for them to work. It didn't even take an hour; in reality it took about twenty-five minutes to process the film. Yakko surmised that the rest of the time on a 'one hour photo' was actually for the employees to have a window of time in case they got backed up.

He had tried to explain how simple it was to Bugs, but the rabbit was confused at any step involved after removing the film from the camera. He insisted that all film had to be processed 'with all that fancy darkroom stuff' and this machine was some figment of Yakko's imagination. Yakko had even pointed out the machine at a local photo shop and the rabbit still thought he was nuts.

At first he had been annoyed at Bugs' stubbornness; it would take him a little over an hour to develop all three rolls. The rabbit though claimed it would take at least three or four but eventually Yakko had given up trying to explain the machine to him. He figured that if he processed the film for him Bugs would be happy no matter how he went about it.

Yakko quickly took the pictures and negatives out of the machine and inserted the third roll, threading it into the slot and closing the door. After checking the gauges to make sure the machine was still properly working and he wasn't going to have to insert any additional fluids, he began the processing button before turning and looking at the stack of photographs.

With a small sigh he picked them up; this roll hadn't been damaged. As he looked at the pictures though, he wished it had been.

This roll had the pictures from the horse show and he grimaced as he looked through them and at the memories that came flooding back to him.

Several pictures of Molly on horseback. More of Dot during different parts of her ill-fated performance. Other pictures of Bugs, Foghorn, Jeeves, Max, Wakko…even a few of himself.

Kit, a wry smile on his light brown muzzle giving the bearer of the camera the finger.

A picture of Max doing the same, except the boy had the fingers of both hands extended and was sticking his tongue out. Another picture of Max, Wakko by his side, shoving some ribbons and brushes into a porta-potty with wide smiles on their faces.

He continued to flip through them, knowing what he was going to see next as he neared the bottom of the pile.

Dot getting closer to the hurdle before several shots of her crumbled in the dirt, a few with himself hanging over her. Dot, dust smeared on her tear-stained face, strapped to a gurney, her mouth open in a scream for the taker of the photograph to leave her alone.

The next similar, except more of himself and Bugs could be seen.

A close up of Dot's face, the lens so zoomed in that Yakko could make out individual tears hanging like tiny crystals from her eyelashes. A picture of Foghorn, holding a terror-stricken Wakko.

The last picture on the roll was an amusing but blurred image of the closed ambulance door, with the large bulky outline of a shadow on it.

Yakko smirked before hearing the phone ring again. He winced - he knew they kept the volume of it up in the lab so it could be heard over Snaps' music, the machines and copiers and even in the closed off darkroom, but when he was only a few feet from it, the ring was deafening.

With one eyebrow raised, he looked at the phone warily, wondering why it was ringing and if he should answer it. It briefly stopped ringing, only to start ringing again.

Sighing, he put the pictures down on a clear spot on the table and walked to the phone, hoping Snaps would appear and answer it for him. He knew it wouldn't be for him - no one knew he was there, with the exception of a few employees that had seen him when Bugs dropped him off, along with a few fans and journalist hanging around the gates.

He was growing weary of the reporters and the fans at the moment, their constant barrage of questions and comments wearing on his nerves.

At Bugs' house, the occasional reporter had been trying to get an interview, only to be turned away before they could get near the house. Dot had been surprised at Molly's house by one of the numerous paparazzi that had been plaguing them appeared from behind a tree across the street. Ms. Cunningham had managed to chase the man off and hustled everyone in the house, but not before he had snapped a few photographs of Dot balanced on her crutches on the sidewalk outside the house.

Thankfully, Dot had been a lot happier than she was previously and seemed almost pleased that he got the picture. She said she wasn't embarrassed about her leg anymore and wanted everyone to see her signed cast and decorated crutches because she had no reason to hide them.

Yakko personally was happy with his sister and her attitude and wished Foghorn and Porky would take a page out of her book. She wasn't hiding; they shouldn't either. As trite as it was to say, she could actually be an inspiration to them.

Wakko had been miserable, but had perked up some when Mr. Bunny had escorted him and Buster over to Max's house for a sleepover. Yakko had been hesitant to let him go, but Mr. Bunny had stated he would be there the whole time. TIS could look through the gate and drool all they wanted, but with him there, no one could take Wakko.

Jeeves had pointed out that this was the Max family mansion, a rather high security area. The odds of anyone even seeing Wakko were slim, let alone managing to get to talk to him. They could swim, play, run wild, whatever they wanted to do and not be bothered.

Plucky's parents were trying to keep him away from anyone associated with the story, not wishing for him to tarnish his reputation. Foghorn and Bugs, who liked the boy seemed hurt that his parents were refusing to allow him to see them but didn't argue with the decision.

Yakko was annoyed with Plucky's parents, mostly because they had told Wakko why they didn't wish for Plucky to associate with him or anyone else in the group right now. If anything, he wished they had spoken to him and kept his brother out of it.

As was to be expected, Plucky wasn't taking something as minor as an order from his parents lying down. He was just going to Max's house and was visiting with Wakko that way.

Jeeves and Mr. Bunny also said a few reporters had approached them, requesting interviews about their more famous friends. Both men declined, saying the story was so outrageous it was not even worth talking about.

After thinking about it, Yakko had nodded and allowed Wakko to go to Max's house. As depressed as Wakko had been, Yakko would pretty much have said yes to anything if it would perk his brother up. He had been trying to hide Wakko and Dot away from the world, and it hadn't been doing any good; they were both getting snippets of information despite his efforts. The only thing he could do was try to explain to them on a level they would understand what was happening.

Thankfully, everyone seemed inclined to help him. The smaller children barely knew what was going on, only that people were saying bad things about their older friends. The slightly older children weren't ignorant ~ they knew what was being said, and to a point they understood why.

The last week had been a whirlwind nightmare of more bad press and accusations, brief, mostly scripted interviews, taunts and jeers from so-called 'fans' and constantly trying to remain 'upbeat' for his siblings and friends.

He hadn't been sleeping well and it was starting to show in his personality and mood.

Darkwing obviously hadn't found Seymour because the man had managed to publish two more brief but still false articles. Tasty Toon Gossip was reporting a record number of sales, it's highest ever because of the subject matter and was indicating that Seymour was its newest headline reporter.

All Yakko knew was that if this newest subject matter, celebrity bashing, was selling well, it meant it wasn't going to end anytime soon. Unless Bugs was right and there was something of use on the film Foghorn had stolen that they could use to shut up Seymour. The man's stories were becoming more outlandish as time went by, and either the man was insane or was confident he was well hidden because he was expanding his reach, beginning to name other big name stars in his stories of Hollywood corruption.

Plotz had surprised Yakko by appearing at Bugs' house, to speak with himself and the rabbit. The warden of Panic Penitentiary had contacted him through the studio to inform him that Seymour Globe had sent in two formal requests for interviews with Slakko Warner.

Yakko had just closed his eyes at the news, feeling downtrodden and beaten. He should have figured that somehow or another Dad was going to show up. Even locked up behind bars he still managed to make him break out into a case of hives.

He had learned something though. Unbeknownst to him, no one could just walk up to the prison, wave a press pass and be granted an interview. A formal request had to be sent in, and the only one who could authorize the interview was the warden himself. But, knowing what was happening in the press and remembering the correspondence he had been copied on by Plotz, the warden had claimed to the reporter that he was still making a decision.

Thankfully, Plotz had asked the warden to hold off on allowing him to speak to prisoner #10503 until he had spoken to Yakko.

Plotz had been on the level with him. The warden hadn't really wanted to grant the interview anyway, since he claimed 'it wouldn't benefit society or the prisoner'. But, out of professional courtesy, he had called to see what Plotz's wishes were. Plotz told Yakko he didn't wish to have his father granted an interview, only because this was spiraling out of control as it was; he could see no benefit in having Slakko speaking to the press on this matter.

Yakko had instantly agreed. He had no desire to see his father granted an interview with any reporter to speak about them, especially this vindictive one.

Other people were speaking though; fans, lawyers, Joe Average on the street. Some were for positive, but others were quite negative.

For the most part though, the public seemed torn on what to think. Occasional appearances in public were helping just like Bugs and Ms. Cunningham had said; innocent people didn't hide. No children that associated with Foghorn or Porky had come forward to make any accusations. Some were coming forward - with their parents in tow - to publicly support the two of them.

Kit's suggestion of trying to pay the reporter and paper off had immediately been shot down. Whether he was guilty or not, everyone remembered the Michael Jackson scandal. Innocent people didn't wave money around to make the problem go away, but Yakko was starting to understand why the man might have pulled his checkbook out, just to get the case dropped.

Not to mention, they couldn't pay off everyone. They might get rid of Seymour, but a new reporter would jump in his place. If Foghorn or Porky were ever charged with any sort of misconduct, they would face their accusers directly in court.

And it didn't appear that they were going to be charged. The police had issued a statement to the press, saying they had looked into the matter, and at this time there was no evidence to support any of the stories.

Of course, the tabloids had cried foul, stating that the stars had used their influence to sweep the matter under the rug. More legitimate news sources were still following the story, though with a lack of new evidence they were beginning to head on to other stories and scandals as well.

Yakko still got compliments and requests for autographs and kisses when he appeared in public, but now, along with the accolades were more insults and accusations of child neglect and how he was able to get away with anything simply because he was a star.

How could he allow his two younger siblings to still associate with those 'perverts'? They should be taken away from him and given to better families that would love them like they should be.

There had been other questions and offers for help.

Had anyone ever tried anything with him? Did he want to talk to anyone about it? Give an interview, maybe go on Oprah to speak about it? Had he talked to a child abuse hotline about it? Was the studio doing anything besides keeping mum and trying to cover up the story as much as possible? How much had the studio paid to silence the local government so that city and county ordinances were ignored so they could live in the tower? Did he believe that he was above the law?

Mostly he had ignored the questions on the studio publicist's suggestions and Bugs' orders. Until that reporter had brought it up, Yakko had never wondered how or why they were allowed to live in the tower, and as far as he knew, no one else had questioned it either.

They were toons, able to live in a variety of places. Hell, Kit had lived in a dressing room on the Disney properties for almost two years until Ms. Cunningham had been able to get custody of him. All he had was a bedroom and a bathroom; at least the tower was a fully functioning household.

Actually, it went beyond the term 'household'; it was home along with being their trademark. For the rest of his life, whenever he saw the famous Warner Brother logo or an image of the tower, Yakko would remember the chance they had been given, and how lucky he was to have stumbled into it. The tower represented the fulfillment of a dream; he found himself growing angry when a reporter or some vindictive 'fan' wanted to insult and degrade his unusual living situation.

He was secretly worried; with the charges, the zoning commission had wanted to come by and inspect the tower. Plotz had initially fought it, demanding to know on whose authority they felt they had the right. The legal department had finally convinced him to allow the inspection; they were well within the law, all permits legally obtained and paid for, there was no reason to worry.

Mr. Plotz had also been called into a court session to discuss the terms of the _guardian ad slavis_, infuriating the already cranky CEO and making Yakko more nervous and stressed than he was.

He surmised it went OK; Plotz had said nothing on his return, and Bugs told Yakko not to worry about it. Bugs said it was basically a formality. Unbeknownst to Yakko, Plotz had to go to court every year for it, mostly to confirm that the children were still under the studio's care and things were going well. Plotz would have had to go anyway; just now he had gone a bit earlier than he was scheduled.

Yakko had felt a bit more respect for the man. Despite their differences and general dislike of each other, Plotz had repeatedly gone out of his way to help them. Yakko knew he was probably looking too much into it, but he'd like to think the man was doing it to be nice on top of the fact that they were the main cast on a hit show.

Grasping the receiver and hoping he didn't get himself or Snaps in trouble for answering it, he barked a rough 'hello' into it.

"Daaaaaaaa…Is dis Yakko?"

Letting out an annoyed sigh at the voice, Yakko said, "No Ralph. It's Dot. Wanna hear me sing 'I'm Cute'?"

"Daaaaaaa…." After a long moment Ralph asked, "Is Yakko dere?"

_Don't scream…he can't help being an idiot…_

"Ralph, it's Yakko," he answered, shaking his head and trying to keep most of the irritated tone from his voice. "I was joking."

"Oh…dat was funny!"

Yakko paused for a moment before drawling, "Riiiiiight. So, what can I do for you?"

"If dis really is Yakko you's gots a visitor."

Frowning, Yakko glanced at his watch. Bugs had errands to run and had mentioned going to Foghorn's house to check on the rooster since he was still being uncharacteristically moody and silent.

Keeping Wakko and Dot with him, Bugs had dropped him off, telling him to meet him by the main gate in four hours so they could figure out if the pictures were worth anything or if they had to continue to find some way of battling the negative press and accusations.

Sighing and wishing he was at home in bed, Yakko stifled a yawn while asking, "Who is it Ralph?"

"It's Kiff Clownkidder - "

Yakko heard a sharp voice screech 'Cloudkicker! Kiff - damn it - Kit Cloudkicker!' before feeling the corners of his mouth turn up in a grin even if he was a bit surprised at the visitor.

"Daaaa….Cloudkicking - "

"Gimme that damn phone!"

Yakko heard the sounds of a small scuffle going on as he hurriedly said, "Ralph - I'll be right there! Don't kill him!"

Slamming the phone down, Yakko dashed out of the lab and began to run up towards the visitors entrance, hoping that Ralph didn't have Kit escorted off the property before he got there.

He was curious though; what was Kit doing at the lot? Had Ms. Cunningham just dropped him off at the gates? That seemed unusual…maybe the whole family was there?

For what reason though? He felt his slight frown increase to a scowl as he worried about why they would be there. Had something else happened, some new charge or allegations? Or worse, had someone finally been arrested on these trumped up charges?

His frown deepened as he easily jogged across the lot towards the visitors center. No matter what reason Kit decided to turn up, he welcomed the company. He had many friends and acquaintances on the lot after living there for so many years, but most were causal at best and a large portion of those people were off this morning anyway.

At this point, Kit was well beyond 'casual acquaintance'; he could truly say Kit was his best friend. Even as close as he was to Bugs, Yakko felt a comradery with Kit just because of their similar backgrounds and the fact that neither of them seemed to wholly fit in with other teenagers.

When those teenagers had been younger, they had been going to movies with their parents, sitting down to have dinner with their families at kitchen tables, far removed from the troubles of the world. The biggest worries they had was passing a spelling test or hoping they got the hottest new toy being sold at 'Toys R Us'.

He and Kit had been in a daily battle just to eat, stay alive and stay away from TIS and other people on the street that would want to hurt them or steal what little they owned.

Reaching the visitor center, Yakko stepped inside to see Kit, glowering at an annoyed-yet-still-confused Ralph, who was brandishing a pen and clipboard at the cub.

"Youse gotta sign in!" Whirling with a surprising amount of grace for such a large man Ralph thrust the clipboard in Yakko's direction and added, "Youse gotta sign him in toos Yakko!"

"Calm down Ralph," Yakko said easily, snatching the clipboard from the portly guard and signing his name and the time. "You getta promotion and this all goes to your head doesn't it?"

It hadn't really. For some reason unknown to anyone, Ralph had been promoted to assistant supervisor of security for the daytime shift. Yakko liked the man - he really did - but he questioned the wisdom of that move. He was pleasant but he wasn't the brightest man around.

Besides, it meant he rarely worked the guard shack near the tower anymore; the only time he did was when that post wasn't being covered by another guard. Yakko had to admit that he missed seeing the guard's round face beaming at him from the shack, waving as he passed by. The new guard was so strict and rigid that Yakko feared he had a very long stick wedged firmly up his ass. The guy wouldn't even wave; he was pretty sure the man was actually related to Flameil.

Yakko sighed slightly. Things changed; people quit, moved, got promoted, grew older…some day he would be leaving the lot for good. It wasn't fair for him to wish Ralph to stay at a low level security position just so he had someone to wave at when he passed by.

He was happy for his friend. The new post meant better hours, slightly more pay, a snazzier uniform, and position where he could sit in an air conditioned building and greet walk on visitors to the lot while monitoring a few cameras. As an added bonus, it also meant Ralph wouldn't have to deal with the 'Fab Four' and whatever trouble they managed to cause on the lot.

Unfortunately, it didn't mean any more respect. The guy still caught hell.

"It's nots likes that Yakko - "

"It's fine Ralph, just fooling with ya - "

"And youse can't bring him into da high security areas in - "

"Relax Ralph; he's gonna be with me," Yakko said lightly, kicking at Kit when he started to open his mouth. "Just in the lab with me…" At Ralph's frown he added with a mock hurt tone, "Come on Ralph, don't ya trust me?"

Ralph was a lot more fun when he was low man on the totem pole. And a lot easier to manipulate. Since his promotion, Ralph almost seemed like he might actually remember some of the rules and protocols of his job.

"I's do Yakko, but the rules…"

Yakko widened his eyes and tried to mimic the specialty patented sweetly-begging look that Dot had perfected. He wondered if he was doing well; Kit was snickering quietly at him.

After a moment Ralph let out a long deep sigh and said, "Well's…OK's, he's not supposed to but…just I - "

"Relax Ralph, I'm not gonna get you in trouble," Yakko said, passing the clip board to a still peevish looking Kit to sign. "Is it OK Ralph? Just the lab…I promise I won't let him into anything high security. All I'm doing is developing some personal film - "

"Come on man!" Kit insisted. "It's hardly like I'm a stranger here!"

"Youse aren't authorized…" Ralph said before brightening. "I's know! I'll watch youse guys on da cameras!"

"Fine Ralph fine," Yakko said. "Pull up the camera, do whatever you need to do. We'll just be in the lab…and he won't touch anything," he added, shooting a glare to Kit who gave a long suffering sigh but nodded.

Scribbling his name down quickly, Kit asked, "Can I go now Mr. Security Guard or you gotta frisk me too? I'm not staying still for a cavity search - "

Yakko quickly grabbed Kit's jacket, pulling him from the office as he called out a farewell to Ralph, who was looking happy to get the surely bear out of his office.

"Let go Warner," Kit said, pushing Yakko off him. "Damage the merchandise - "

"Oh be quiet Kiff," Yakko stressed, trying to hide his amusement. "You should have Clownkidder embroidered on the back of your uniform - "

"Kiff Clownkidder," Kit muttered nastily. "Imbecile's known me for years…it's not that hard a name! Kit Cloudkicker! It's Native American for Christ sake!"

Yakko snickered at Kit's indignation at the insult to his name and 'his people', though Yakko was sure that the closest Kit had ever come to an actual Native American was watching 'Dances with Wolves'.

Kit began going on a tirade about his name. While he didn't know everything, Kit claimed that he was affiliated with the 'Shasta' Indian tribe, whose original territory had been in the northern California area. Or his name was anyway.

Unfortunately, in the early twentieth century there had been less than a hundred of them left; he wasn't aware of any alive now. From the little he knew of his biological family's line, one of his ancestors had befriended a human that claimed 'Shasta' blood, and to honor his friend he had adopted the name 'Cloudkicker' - the human's tribal name - as his own surname.

Yakko found it interesting, if only because his own ancestors had done the same thing with Warner.

He let Kit storm and rage while they walked; the bear seemed to be somewhat cranky and appeared to be enjoying blowing off a bit of steam by venting to him. In-between rants at the reporter for causing the entire mess and Ms. Cunningham for something or another, Yakko also heard him mention several Disney stars, among them some of Kit's former 'TaleSpin' costars.

Apparently the reporter was also trying to interview them; Baloo had claimed that the only thing the reporter would be welcome to interview was his fist coming towards his jaw. Yakko wondered if Baloo and Foghorn knew each other; if they didn't, someone should probably introduce them. They'd likely be the best of friends.

As Yakko swiped his access card to gain entry to the lab, he finally turned to Kit, who had stopped running his mouth and asked, "So, if you're finished, wanna tell me what you're doing here? Not that I mind the company, but this isn't your usual stomping ground."

Following Yakko and looking around with wide eyes Kit questioned sarcastically, "All that shit from the dippy guard for what? Chemicals and publicity photos; real high security." With a shrug he said, "And I was in the neighborhood. I heard Mom telling Bugs that you would be over here most the day doing your photo crap; figured I'd stop by and visit."

"Where's Molly and Ms. Cunningham?" Yakko asked

"Hell if I know; probably shopping," Kit said, leaning against a table and crossing his arms sullenly.

Picking up some files and stacking them on the far table Yakko turned and asked, "When are they coming to get you? Hate to tell you, I'm on the third roll. I'm hardly going to be here all day - "

"Oh, I rode - "

"What?" Yakko spun, feeling a stupid grin split his face. "You drove?"

"Well, I actually said - "

"You…did you get your license? Oh wow - congratulations!" Yakko exclaimed, clasping Kit on the shoulder as feelings of elation for his friend and a slight twinge of jealously coursed through him.

Kit, surprisingly, didn't seem quite as excited as Yakko, which caused him to frown slightly. If he was Kit, he would be a hell of a lot happier about it.

"Uh...yeah...well, you see I - "

"What did you drive?" Yakko asked. "When did you get it? I thought you - "

Kit waved at him with a funny look and said, "I came up here for a date…some bimbo I met at a rally…didn't go as I planned. Way too perfect for my taste. Can you believe she smacked me when I tried to kiss her?" Throwing his head back and moaning theatrically he added, "I hate a cocktease. And she was so hot…I was crushed…and horney…"

"Kit, you go through girls like most people go through notebook paper," Yakko said. "This time next week you'll have forgotten her name - "

"Forgotten whose name?" Kit asked wickedly. Standing and crossing the room, he flopped on the table beside Yakko, beginning to look through the files. "So what was on the film?"

Slapping at Kit's hands, Yakko said, "Not much interesting. First roll was damaged; whatever was there is gone forever. Second roll was the horse show."

"Can I see?"

Yakko hesitated, then shrugged and nodded. Kit was party to what was going on; he had been to every meeting Yakko had been to. There was no harm in letting Kit see photos of an event he was actually at.

He handed the pile of photos to Kit, hearing him laugh at some images and snarl at others while muttering filthy comments under his breath. Kit wanted a copy of the image of him giving the finger; Yakko quickly made him one while swearing him to secrecy and that he could never show it to anyone. That was all he needed; a photographer remembered every picture he took.

If that picture got out, Seymour would likely remember it. He would also be able to make the first legitimate claim of his career and scream that his film was stolen by those damn 'Hollywood types'.

As Yakko handed the print back to a delighted Kit, Yakko heard the machine sputter before it lurched to a violent halt. He turned from the other boy who was talking about some argument he had with his mother and head back to the machine.

He was curious about what could be on the third roll - Bugs was positive there would be something on the roll to help discredit the weasel - but Yakko wasn't that optimistic. He had been amazed that the roll with the horse show pictures on it wasn't damaged. The odds that this roll had anything noteworthy on it were slim.

Still though, he was finished with his developing duties. Since Bugs wasn't going to be back anytime soon and Kit was there, Yakko figured they could head over to the cafeteria, grab some lunch and maybe go hang out at the tower for awhile. He had only been back to the tower since Dot got hurt a few times, mostly to pick up clothing and mail and just to check to make sure nothing had gotten damaged during their absence.

Laughing at a comment from Kit about the weasel, Yakko grabbed the photos and looked down, frowning as he studied the image. The first was simply a white strip with a large shining glare marring the image.

With a shrug he looked at the next one, which was two white strips, also with a glare. If he squinted, he could barely make out a dark blotch between them.

He looked at the third one, this time able to make out what he was seeing.

A window, or Seymour looking through a window. Yakko could even see the faint reflection of the weasel in the glass as he peered through the white strips, which he had figured out where blinds. He was almost afraid to see who or what the reporter was spying on.

Taking a sip of the Coke he had and half listening to Kit continue to talk, Yakko inhaled just as he flipped through the stack, looking at two more pictures, already bored with them.

Then his eyes and brain finally communicated enough so that he realized what he was looking at. He choked on the soda, dropping it as he coughed and sputtered at the shocking image.

_Holy Hell…_

Jasmine…and that sexy little outfit she usually appeared in wasn't covering anything since it was hanging on a rack behind her. Her long hair, unbound, was cascading in a shining black river down behind her shoulders and back, the ends grazing her bare kneecaps.

Yakko stared at the photos, flipping the stack to take in all the images; Jasmine turning, brushing her hair, her head thrown back in ecstasy as it looked like she was singing. Eventually Aladdin wandered into a few shots and put his arms around her naked body.

At the end of the roll were several photos of Ariel having an apparent wardrobe malfunction with that shell bra she wore when she was in her mermaid form. One of the images showed the shells practically shooting off her from the strain they were under. Another image showed an assistant standing behind her, trying to adjust the covering.

_Hot…so hot…_

_And so…filthy. _

Yakko was ashamed of himself for looking, drinking in the images of some of the most famous faces to ever come out of the Disney studio in such private and intimate moments.

But…he couldn't help looking. He tried to tell himself he was still a hormonal teenager and that he had a porn goldmine being held in his hands. Two of the most gorgeous and brightest stars to have emerged from the Disney studios in his hands in a state of undress…

Seymour must have been pissed losing this roll.

Yakko knew he himself was just looking because he not only developed them he was a horney hormonal bastard who couldn't help himself. Seymour knew he had a goldmine on the roll just because any tabloid - human or toon - would have paid a small fortune just to get one of these images.

No wonder Bugs didn't want them taken to the local one hour photo to be developed. These things would have ended up in a tabloid within a few days, and Foghorn would probably have been busted for stealing them from the creep that took them in the first place.

Yakko felt himself puff up with pride, just because Bugs trusted him to develop the photographs, even if the rabbit had no idea what may have been on the film.

If he had, Yakko wondered if Bugs would still have had him develop them.

"Holy shit! Is that…Christ it is! Look at the size of those - "

"Kit!" Yakko quickly snatched the photos to his chest and glared at the bear, whose eyes were in danger of falling from his head the way he was leering at the pictures. "Come on man! You look like a pervert - "

"Shut up Warner - or you gonna try to bullshit me and tell me you weren't looking?" Kit asked snidely, making a lunge for the photos. "Come on lemme see too - "

"No! It's degrading, it's perverted, it's shameful, it's - "

"Hot - and I know you're gonna look at them anyway again so let me see too!" Kit insisted, making another lunge. "At least make me a copy of - "

"No!" Yakko said, stepping quickly to put the processing machine between himself and the cub. "No copies, no way!" At the bear's pout Yakko pleaded, "Come on Kit; Bugs didn't want these seen - "

"I'm not gonna tell him!" Kit said, looking shocked at the suggestion. "But I'm here, you're gonna look at them again - don't even try to deny it! I mean I would! And you trusted me enough to bring me back here - you don't trust me now?"

_Well shit._

Yakko looked, dumbfounded, as Kit pouted, batting his eyes at him and wasn't sure if he should laugh or feel sorry for the bear. Rather than looking adorably pleading, he actually looked like he was about to get quite ill.

"I…"

_Can't do it…but I want too_, he whined to himself. _I wanna look at them…Kit wants to look at them…we're hormonal teenagers who are never, ever going to have the opportunity to see this again with these two women…_

He looked at Kit, who was practically pawing at his leg and whining to see the photographs like a dog begging for a snausage.

He was morally torn. The pictures - and the woman in them - were way too good looking to not look at them.

But he felt like the biggest jerk in the world for wanting to. But, he was a teenager, he was allowed to be a selfish pig once wasn't he?

"OK, fine. We'll look - one time," Yakko said finally, feeling a small evil part of his brain scream 'yes!' at the decision. "Once," he stressed. "Then we put them away and call Bugs. He's gotta know about these. And we don't breathe a word of this to anyone…ever. "

Kit nodded firmly, even extending his hand so they could shake on it.

"Deal…now fork over half that stack Warner!" Kit demanded. At Yakko's raised eyebrow Kit added, "Look, I'm mad about it. I know them, pretty well actually. I'm happy that you have the photos instead of that asshole who took them. Neither of them deserve to be publicly humiliated by having them get out. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to indulge my baser animalist instincts."

_True. _

"You're such a perv," Yakko said derisively, sniffing as he handed over a small portion of the pictures. If he tried to act mature about it, Yakko decided he might not feel quite as bad about looking at them.

"You know it, yet you still adore me," Kit said, not even looking at him as he leered at the pictures of Jasmine and Yakko snorted. "Aladdin is one lucky bastard even if she is a high maintenance snot. God, if only she was lying out on that carpet; think how hot that would be…"

Yakko didn't answer, mostly because he was looking at the pictures in his own stack. Whether it was disgusting and degrading and so very very wrong, he couldn't help it.

Ariel should defiantly consider getting rid of that shell bra. One of the pictures had her hair just barely covering what it legally needed to. While it definitely wouldn't fit in with Disney's wholesome image of 'The Little Mermaid', it gave her an erotic sensuality that would probably sell more posters than that one of Farrah Fawcett in that red swimsuit. He was almost sixteen and a boy, but damn if this photograph was a poster he'd be the first in line to buy it; he'd proudly decorate his and Wakko's room in Little Mermaid merchandise if it looked like this.

The he remembered that Dot was a fan of Ariel and her movie and series. He had sat on the couch and watched it with her. He shuddered in disgust at himself.

Damn Seymour for this, on top of everything else he had done he just had to take these horrible…hot racy sexy photos and while he hated the man for everything he had done, Yakko couldn't help but admire his keen eye. Sleazy though it may be, he couldn't have picked two finer women.

But, Seymour should be locked away in a deep dark hole somewhere and never allowed to see the light of day again. Or at least never allowed near a camera. What a disgusting individual.

But, they had proof he was not only sneaking into the Disney lot if the stars in the pictures were any indication, he was a bit of a pervert himself. In the pictures where his reflection was clearly seen on the glass, Yakko could tell the man was enjoying the show.

Yakko shook his head, trying not to linger overlong on the images. He had met and spoken briefly with both Jasmine and Aladdin once at a Christmas function a few years ago, right after his accident. Surprisingly to him, both were actually fans of his show, and had come by to speak with him to give him their well wishes. The princess was a little on the haughty side but Aladdin seemed like a rather down to earth man. Aladdin had even laughed about his brother's and his friends antics from several years ago. Jasmine still didn't see the humor in the situation, but hadn't spoken ill of any of them.

He wouldn't say he was close personal friends with them, but he respected them enough to not want to openly leer at the photos. Even if Jasmine was hotter than hell.

Deciding that looking and not speaking to anyone about them was acceptable, Yakko walked to the phone, hoping to get a hold of Bugs and tell him about his findings.

Leaning against the wall, Yakko frowned when Bugs' voice mail came on. He tried dialing again, only for it to again roll to voice mail. Shrugging, he tried his home numbers and still didn't get an answer.

Surprised, Yakko blinked before sighing. Bugs probably left his phone in the car again when he went inside somewhere. Yakko was getting anxious though; now that he knew what was on the film and had proof in his hands that Seymour was nothing more than a glorified Peeping Tom, he wanted to get the pictures to Bugs.

"You got the negatives Warner?"

Yakko nodded and said, "Yeah. Didn't want to leave them around and have someone grab them." Sighing, Yakko started dialing Foghorn's number while mumbling, "Stupid Bunny was in such a hurry to get them developed… didn't want to listen to me when I told him it was only going to take an hour or so…can't answer his phone…finally got proof to get this guy off our ass…"

"Problemo?"

"Yeah, can't find Bugs," Yakko said, listening as the phone rang and hoping that the rabbit was over at Foghorn's place. "He was in a hurry - oh, hey Foghorn!" Yakko said happily, breathing a sigh of relief when he heard the rooster's loud voice bellow 'hello' through the receiver.

"Foghorn!" Yakko sighed before asking quickly, "Is - "

"Hold on boy…yeah - you saw him?"

"Who?" Yakko asked, confused.

"Not you boy! Hold on…"

Yakko listened in puzzlement as Foghorn continued to talk to someone. After a few moments he figured out that the rooster was speaking to someone else. If Yakko strained his ears he could hear a faint tinny voice and surmised that Foghorn had someone he was speaking to on his cell phone.

And at the excitement in Foghorn's voice, Yakko guessed that whoever was on the other end of that line was telling him some information that he really wanted to know.

"That reporter - I say - that reporter ain't gonna…"

Yakko stiffened at those words. Seymour had several toons looking for him since he had gone into hiding. Foghorn was one of the largest.

"At the what? He's staying at…where? The Bakshi? Really? Kinda sleazy; guess that's fitting though…"

"Foghorn," Yakko said firmly, hoping to draw the rooster's attention back to him. "Listen to me - is Bugs there? Or anyone who's actually in his right mind at the moment? I got - "

"What is…Now how - I say - now how can you ever…yeah, I know I could get charged but gotta prove…now come on! You wouldn't - "

"Foghorn!" Yakko yelled loudly, ignoring Kit who was leaning on his shoulder to better hear the conversation. "What are you - "

"Boy stop talking," Foghorn's voice came back to him. "Gotta do something - "

"Look, I know what you're gonna do, but don't," Yakko begged. "I got those pictures developed! Seymour's - "

"Hold on Hank, gotta talk to the kid - "

_The kid?_

Yakko bit his lip so he could refrain from telling Foghorn exactly what he thought of that phrasing.

"Foghorn, just listen to me," Yakko ordered. "Don't talk - know that's hard for you - "

"Funny phrasing, coming from you Yakko," Kit muttered.

"Shut up Kit!" Yakko hissed, briefly pulling the phone away from his mouth. "Foghorn, please, don't do something stupid! Let Bugs handle it! I've got the pictures and it's gonna help prove Seymour - "

"Pictures ain't gonna help much boy, damage has been done," Foghorn sighed.

Yakko cringed when he heard the rooster tell whoever was on the phone that he was gonna 'take care of this - for good - no matter what'.

"Foghorn," Yakko said again desperately. "Think about what you're doing! Wakko, Plucky, all these kids and fans - no one believes what's being said! And Bugs is gonna - "

"Don't want Bugs involved, not in this. Bunny's been too good a friend to drag him into this nonsense. But sometimes boy, you gotta do more than just mop the water up; gotta turn it off at the source. Don't you worry none. All I wanna do is have a few words with someone - should be able to keep my fists out of it. No promises though."

With that, Foghorn disconnected the call and Yakko pulled the receiver away from his head and stared at it in shocked dismay.

"That didn't sound real good," Kit observed. "Rather final actually. Wish I could watch the smack down - "

"Damn him," Yakko fumed, slamming the phone down before picking it up again and trying Bugs again. "Figures, I'm the youngest and I gotta be the brains of the group! Where the hell is that stupid Bunny?"

"Do you think he'll really do anything?" When Yakko turned to stare at Kit incredulously the other boy shrugged and said, "Never mind; I watched him dribble old Seymour's head like a ball on that ambulance. He's gonna kill that guy - "

"Not if I can stop him," Yakko said firmly, dialing Bugs' numbers again and inwardly cursing the rabbit for not answering. Trying Foghorn's number again he said, "We gotta stop him before he does something stupid and - "

"What the hell can we do?" Kit asked, slumping down on the table. "Somehow I don't think we're gonna get a chance to mallet him into submission - "

"We…I…Oh I don't know!" Yakko snapped, frustrated as he slammed the phone down and turned to his friend. "I didn't expect him to go off the damn deep end! What the hell idiot told him where to find that junk food news reporter anyway?"

"I don't know - hell, I want to go watch," Kit said enviously. "That big chicken's gonna flatten that bastard."

Yakko tuned Kit's rambling out. Foghorn was a friend, a good friend, one that had always been there for him. Now the rooster was about to make a horrible mistake, one that probably would destroy his life and career. He couldn't let that happen.

Who the hell could he call for help? He tried dialing any numbers he could remember; Slappy, Porky, Scratchansniff…no one was answering. It was like everyone decided to go on vacation at the exact moment he needed them.

It was, sadly, up to him to stop the rampaging rooster. Foghorn was gonna owe him so big - Yakko perked slightly at the thought even as he tried dialing the rooster's number again. The next time he had a date, he better not even see the rooster raise an eyebrow at some of the things he and his intended lady-love did.

But how…he had to get to Foghorn. Now, before he did something stupid.

" - and The Bakshi is one of those 'No Tell Motels' you always hear about…"

Yakko turned, his ears rising at Kit's words. He, apparently, had heard of the hotel…

No no no. Stupid idea.

Still though…Kit said he drove...and this was an emergency...

Yakko tried to push the idea out of his head, only for it to come back more forcefully.

Kit drove to the lot. He could, if asked, drive him to try to stop Foghorn. Even if he wasn't a chaperone and that the idea of leaving the lot - especially given the current circumstances - would be an extremely foolish idea. Yakko figured if he was going to do that he might as well just march up to the first TIS hunter he saw and ask to be taken into custody and shoved into a home.

But he couldn't just sit by and watch Foghorn kill the weasel; sure, it would solve some problems, but it would create more.

Yakko cut his eyes to Kit even as the idea was still bouncing around in his head.

Finally, he fully turned and grasped Kit's shoulders, surprising the bear who blinked at him owlishly.

"Kit - do you know where this hotel is?"

"Just said that Warner - right around the corner from the library? Remember I told you that - "

"OK Kit - I need you to listen - carefully," Yakko said firmly. "We gotta rescue Foghorn - and I don't have a ride…"

Kit tilted his head at Yakko for a moment before a large smile lit up his features.

"You wanna go get him? Like a rescue mission? Kick ass!" He yelped happily, even jumping in the air for a moment with his fist raised. "Though before we get too far, I gotta tell you that I didn't exactly drive a - "

"I don't care if you drove a school bus here," Yakko interrupted harshly, snatching the photographs and negatives up and shoving them in his Hammerspace. "We're the only ones that can help him now, since everyone else is deciding to not answer their phones." He paused for a short moment before picking up the phone and asking, "What about Ms. Cunningham - we can try to call -"

"Fuck no!" Kit said, almost stumbling in his haste to grab the phone and slam it back in the receiver. "You trying to get me killed?"

"Huh?"

"She…doesn't exactly know I'm gone, remember?" Kit asked. "Look, I'm game for going to rescue the rooster, just…you might not like the ride…"

Yakko heard Kit talking but ignored the words, wondering why the bear was hedging around and wishing he would just come out and say what he meant. He didn't have time for riddles. They had to stop Foghorn before he killed the weasel - not that he didn't deserve it, but Yakko hated the thought of having to visit the chicken in prison. The rooster was his friend, and Foghorn would stop him before he did something too stupid…he assumed. Than again, it was Foghorn - there was a seventy-five percent chance the pullet would cheer him on.

Bugs would probably yell his head off about this though if he ever found out. Yakko winced just thinking about it. He was supposed to be the smart mature one - hell, even Wakko hadn't tried sneaking off the lot again. Yakko decided that he would have to cross his fingers and pray that no one found out.

Out of the three of them, Dot really was the one that caused the least amount of trouble.

Yakko shook his head, determined, and grabbed Kit's arm. The bear, still blathering about something, eagerly ran beside him, falling silent when Yakko waved his hand to get him to be quiet.

"OK Kit," Yakko said, crouching behind a bush and looking around. "Where's your car? You'll have to leave and I'll have to get out one of the studio gates without being spotted. There's not quite as many guards here today as normal, but Ralph was watching us and - "

"OK, Yakko, I gotta come clean here," Kit finally said, a large smile on his muzzle. "I…didn't exactly 'drive' here," he stressed.

"You said - "

"I said I rode here - "

"You took the bus?" Yakko asked, feeling his hopes plummet.

He scanned the parking lot, looking at a few cars scattered about. None of them belonged to any of his friends.

While Kit started talking about how a motocross bike could be modified for street use with a few altercations, Yakko pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, praying that someone - anyone - would come on the lot that could help him. He could care less that Kit had to add a headlight to his stupid bike - it wasn't going to help them now…

Then…then what Kit was saying made a bit more sense, and Yakko fell back on his rear end in shock at the thought. He could feel the bear tugging at his shirt sleeve and Yakko buried his face in his hands, wondering if this day could possibly get any worse.

He wanted to save Foghorn from himself, and he was willing to risk his way of life to do it. Sneaking off lot - again - and tempting the fates; he could do that. Incurring Bugs', Plotz's, the entire studio's wrath to stop the stupid chicken; he could do that. He had thought this out pretty thoroughly he had thought; the pros and the cons. He had made a plan, a decent enough plan considering who he had for company and the severity of what needed to be done.

However, riding bitch position to Kit hadn't been part of the original equation.

_End Chapter 35_


	37. Chapter 37

My apologies to everyone for the delay. Unemployment, my father having a stroke, and two deaths in the family (and another one looming in the near future) take priority over this.

I thank a good number of you for your patience, I appreciate it. I hope the wait for this chapter was worth it and you enjoy it.

Some of you others though…seriously, this is not my job, unfortunately. So yes, real life will occasionally get in the way of regular updates. I do hope some of the comments weren't serious about me 'owing' it to anyone to update.

That being said, here's the chapter. The usual thanks to _MummifiedCatHead_ for using her mad skills to take this from a mass of misspelled words and making it readable.

Enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Chapter 36 - Minor Technicalities_

"You gotta be shitting me!"

"Hey! It's perfectly safe! Rode my baby to two junior championships!"

Yakko didn't look at Kit, mostly because his eyes were locked onto the…thing…that the bear expected him to mount.

He cocked his head to the side and continued to stare at the neon green monstrosity that Kit had dragged him to. If sneaking off the lot and tempting the fates - again - wasn't stupid enough, even entertaining the idea of getting on the back of that thing was. He should immediately sneak back onto the lot to sit and wait for Monday morning and the arrival of Dr. Scratchansniff because he obviously needed a shrink.

Yakko closed his eyes and inhaled deeply while trying not to listen to Kit. He opened them when Kit paused, hoping that everything would disappear and he was still in the photo lab.

Yeah, he was just having a reaction to some chemicals or something…anything would be better than being where he was hallucinating what he was.

Cautiously he opened his eyes, continuing to ignore Kit's voice.

Nope, still in the alley across from the lot. Meaning that this nightmare was real. With his luck, TIS was probably right behind him watching all this and making notes. They were gonna throw him in an isolation room for the rest of his teenaged years.

He sighed. Fine, he could handle this. He took a closer look at the bike, trying to will his nerves to calm down.

It was sitting on a side street, near a dumpster, gleaming in the rays of the sun. If he squinted his eyes slightly and allowed his imagination to run wild, Yakko could almost imagine that it was alive and the headlight on the front was one giant eye glaring at him moodily. With all the green and just some black trim and highlights it actually resembled a pissed off dragon.

And Kit, that fool, expected him to get on it.

Yakko suppressed a shiver while telling himself he was acting like a child and repressing the urge to pull out his mallet and attack something…probably Kit.

Kit was a good driver…rider…whatever he did on that thing. Yakko knew that; he had been to a few of Kit's competitions now; he really had no interest in motocross, but he got to cheer Kit on and listen to Bugs and Ms. Cunningham both talk about how dangerous it was. Wakko got to drool over something that was motorized, and Dot and Molly could keep each other company.

The boy obviously knew what he was doing, even off the track. Kit had gotten to the lot with no difficulties…

Lucky little…Yakko shook his head, annoyed with himself.

" - and I got it road legal! No cop's gonna look at us - "

"You gotta be shitting me," Yakko repeated, still looking at the bike in horror.

This…was a stupid idea. The stupidest he had ever come up with.

Stupider than anything Wakko and his friends could have come up with. Dot, as young as she was and teamed up with a sugar-fueled Molly couldn't have dreamed up anything this stupid. And all of them had excuses, being young.

He didn't. This was stupid.

Yakko helplessly looked over his shoulder in the alley, praying he would see Bugs' car coming up the street towards the studio. All he saw was a tour bus, two bums, several parked cars and a few tourists shoveling cotton candy in their mouths as they gazed toward the wall surrounding the studio.

" - and I added the headlight and all; didn't have to do much to make the bike street legal…good thing too because - "

Yakko took a deep breath, only glancing at Kit for a moment as the cub prattled on about what he had to do to make the bike 'street legal' so the cops wouldn't pay attention to him.

He didn't care. He wasn't getting on that open-air deathtrap.

"You gotta be shitting me," Yakko moaned for the third time, taking a few steps back while hiding his face in his hands.

It wasn't too late; he could still sneak back onto the lot and continue to call one of the other adults who could attempt to stop the rampaging rooster. They hadn't been seen sneaking off the lot, he was sure of that. He had a pretty good idea where the security cameras were and had been able to avoid them.

He started to turn around, intent. He could continue to call Bugs on his cell phone. After all, at some point the rabbit would have to answer; what good was having a cell phone if he didn't answer it?

Or Porky…

No, Porky, while much calmer than Foghorn, was still a bit out of sorts over the entire situation. Yakko sighed; with the way his luck had been going, Porky would suddenly flip, decide that Foghorn had the right idea and rush over to cheer the rooster on.

Yakko ran a hand through his hair before nodding firmly to himself. He could continue to call Bugs. Hopefully he could get in touch with the rabbit before the rooster actually killed the reporter. He idly wondered if Foghorn would beat him with his fists, or shoot him. Knowing Foghorn, perhaps he would do both.

And all this time he had been waiting for Porky to do something. After all, it was always the quiet ones.

He jumped when a car backfired and turned around, slightly spooked and annoyed with himself for being so. He was acting like a child.

"I'm going back - "

"What?" Kit grabbed his arm and held him. "What about rescuing Foghorn from himself? Or you gonna wimp out?"

_Wimp? _

_Breathe. Just breathe. Calmly, evenly… _

After a moment of watching Kit's smug expression, Yakko grabbed Kit's shoulders, shaking him roughly.

Watching Kit's eyeballs roll around dazedly Yakko screeched, "What the hell possessed you to drive that here?" Letting go of Kit and putting his fist to his own mouth in annoyance, he mumbled, "I can only deal with one crisis at a time and - "

"Ease off Warner!" Kit said smoothly while grinning. "You needed a ride - I got a ride - "

"You got a coffin on wheels!" Yakko snapped. "I'm not getting on that - "

"I told you it was legal!" Kit said excitedly, dragging Yakko towards it. "Look, it all checks out! See?"

With that Kit bent down, talking animatedly while pointing at gears and other things Yakko had no knowledge of.

" - and besides, do you really think anyone's gonna answer the phone? You tried already! I wanna see Foghorn beat - I mean - stop him from beating that twerp! And you know I'm a safe driver - "

"Well, I guess you have to be, if you got your license…" Yakko said, trailing off and only half listening to Kit as the cub continued to talk.

OK…a bad situation had been made worse. He could handle this - he had handled everything else life had thrown at him and managed to muddle his way through.

Bad enough he was considering leaving the lot without a chaperone. Bugs would strangle him if he found out. Especially when he found out that he was going to Natwick. Kit had informed him that he knew exactly where 'The Bakshi' was, since it was right in the middle of his old neighborhood and near the library where he had worked for Goose.

Of course, if Bugs would answer his damn phone, he wouldn't have to leave the lot…on a motorcycle.

If he didn't do something, he was gonna be short one friend and feel guilty as hell for the rest of his life. Wakko was going to be down a tutor and idol.

"Well, I - "

"I mean, no one in their right mind should have given you a license to drive this thing," Yakko continued, rambling to himself. Shaking his head he added, "I think I'll just go back inside - hopefully Ralph didn't see me sneak off. I can try to call…No way you - "

"Come on man - I wanna help too! I like the big dumb cluck - and you're my best friend! You think I would do anything that would hurt you?"

Yakko cut his eyes over to Kit, who was gazing at him with a look part pleading, part hurt, with a bit of excitement mixed in.

"Ehhhhh…it's gonna be…dangerous - "

"It's my home turf!" Kit exclaimed excitedly. "Or was anyway - know it like I know my own hand."

"Trust me Kit, I do not want to know how well acquainted you are with your hand…or any other body part - "

"I'm here in your hour of need Yakko, your savior in this cold friendless world, willing to risk life and limb to help you," Kit sighed, looking forlorn.

Yakko recognized the tactic and tried to steel himself. It didn't work; seeing Kit's short stubby ears droop, he cringed as the bear gave a theatrical sigh and continued.

"I want to help, your friend to the end, but here you are doubting my abilities…" Putting his wrist to his forehead dramatically, Kit moaned, "All my life it's been like that, no one wanted to trust me…"

"Well, it's not so much I don't trust you…well, kinda, it's more the whole bike thing. Oh, that and if I get caught I get hauled off quicker than you have a mood swing - "

"Even now, Mom won't trust me to even pick my own girlfriend - "

"But you have worst tastes - and less standards - than I do," Yakko pointed out, cursing himself for feeling his resolve waver with Kit's moaning and pleading.

" - now you…" Kit continued on as if he didn't hear Yakko speak. "Oh it's just too painful to think you too…after all we've been through…"

_I am such a sucker… _

Yakko watched, awestruck, as Kit hid his face in his hands and his shoulders shook in barely suppressed sobs. Hearing a few sniffs, Yakko shook his head. He knew what he was doing; if Yakko didn't know better he would swear Kit took guilt-trip lessons from Bugs.

Bugs…Bugs was gonna kill him if he found this out, sneaking off on a motorcycle of all things to go to some ghetto. Bugs had managed to refrain from strangling him the last time he snuck off the lot…

Of course that was for a date, with a girl Bugs had hated. This was different. This was a rescue mission. Not to mention if he didn't do anything, Foghorn was gonna kill the reporter, then Bugs would be recruiting Wakko to kill Yakko…

Yakko sighed in resignation. He didn't have a choice; if this mess was going to be straightened out and have any hope of a happy resolution, it was up to him. He wanted to be grown up, help make the adult decisions…

It wasn't like he didn't try to get help he reasoned with himself. He had followed every logical route he could think of. But since no one was answering their phones, what choice did he have really?

"Well…" Yakko trailed off as the sounds of Kit's sniffing became somewhat louder. "You're sure it's safe?" Yakko asked worriedly.

He narrowed his eyes when Kit nodded but didn't raise his head.

"Y-Y-Yes…."

"It's just that I don't wanna end up as a slice of street pizza…"

"Would I…sniff…do that to my best friend?"

"Ehhhhh…hope not…." When Kit's sniffing became painfully loud, Yakko sighed and said, "Fine, fine, it's not like I have a lot of options - "

Kit quickly lifted his face from his hands, looked at Yakko and let out a whoop of joy, confirming to Yakko that yes, indeed, he was a sucker.

Grasping Yakko's arm and firmly leading him closer to the object that was sure to cause his doom, Kit said, "I even got an extra helmet - see?"

Kit proudly gestured towards a powder pink helmet that resembled a beanie strapped to the back of the bike. Yakko gazed at it before looking at the other helmet, a much more manly looking contraption in a bright blue with a large bear claw print design on the back. His usual motocross helmet.

He had a sinking feeling Kit expected him to wear the pink one. Perhaps he could convince Kit to wear it and at least let him wear the blue one. If he was going to die, he'd rather not go out wearing a pink beanie.

"Dare I ask why you wear a pink helmet?"

Unstrapping the helmet, Kit thrust it at him hard, half ramming it in his stomach.

"You have the pink helmet," Kit clarified. "It's my extra, for any chicks I get on the back of this thing."

Damn.

Yakko gazed down at the helmet before looking over his shoulder again, this time almost wishing he saw TIS coming at him. He'd rather deal with them than get on a motorcycle wearing this thing. He wished the helmet was at least a full face one, in case anyone got a picture of this.

"I'm not a chick," Yakko said haughtily while glaring at the beaming cub.

"Tell me about it; just do me a favor and be careful where you put your hands; don't let 'em go too low, ya know?" Shaking his head Kit mumbled, "Never had to say that before."

Yakko stiffened as he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Put the helmet on then sit your ass on the bike Yakko," Kit ordered, ignoring his question as he put his own helmet on. "We're wasting time while you bitch. Swear, you complain more than Mom."

"She wouldn't mind wearing the pink helmet," Yakko muttered sourly as he slapped it on his head.

"She refuses to ride it - says it's 'too dangerous'." Kit wrinkled his muzzle as he mimicked his mother's high tone. "She flipped when she found out I put Molly on it - and she just sat on it! It's not like I let her drive it around or anything!"

"Oh, the injustice of it all," Yakko muttered, sending a glare up at the beanie perched on his head briefly before returning his sour look to Kit. "Let's get this over with before I rethink this and change my mind."

Kit nodded, smirked, and easily sat on the bike, gripping the handles.

"Hop on and enjoy the ride baby," he said, patting the seat behind him with a leer before smirking. "Damn I hope no one sees me; ruin my rep."

"You're only sixteen you don't have a rep yet," Yakko muttered, still staring at the bike before giving a woebegone look towards the end of the alley.

He really wished Wakko was there. As bad as it was, his little gear-head of a brother might be able to tell him how to hotwire a car. He was wishing he could do that instead of getting on the back of this thing.

"Cute Yakko. Ya know, this is the first time I've ever had an ugly girl on the back - "

"Shut up," Yakko muttered sourly as he gave one last look at the bike. He paused though when he saw the license plate. Figures Kit would have a vanity one - also figured Kit would get downright filthy on it for a laugh.

"Big taste? That's nasty Kit!" Yakko moaned as he began to gingerly climb on the back of the bike and worriedly looked around for handlebars to hold on to. "I mean that's disgusting, and that's coming from me - "

"It's not what you think Yakko!" Kit said hurriedly. Looking sheepish he said, "I said I made the bike road legal, and road legal means having a license plate."

"So?"

_What the hell am I supposed to hold on to? Not really Kit right? Isn't there seatbelts? What am I doing? _

"So…" Kit trailed off as he turned the key, letting the bike roar to life. "It's…not exactly registered - "

"What?" Yakko yelled over the bike's noise as he continued to desperately look for something to hold on to. At least there were little pegs for his feet - why couldn't Kit put handles or something for him to hold on to back there?

"Well, I had to do something if I wanted to come see Daniella!"

"So, the flavor of the week does have a name."

"And I just sorta…" Kit trailed off before blurting out, "Dug through the 'HoneyComb' box - Molly actually likes that crap - and took the little license plate thing. Gotta see if I can sneak it back in later. She already claimed the thing - "

"This death trap isn't even registered?" Yakko asked, giving up on trying to find anything to hold.

He instead wrapped his arms around himself as he felt a cold chill run down his spine. He had to get off, now, while his common sense was still in charge.

"It's a minor technically!" Kit said with a grin. "The cops wanna see a plate, so - it's got a plate!"

"It's not legal you idiot!"

"Well…it will be soon. I mean I'm gonna have it registered as soon as I get my license - "

"What! You said you got your license!" Yakko yelped, already reaching up to take his helmet off.

Not registered, no license, a plate that proclaimed that the operator of the bike was 'Big Taste', Ms. Cunningham still thought he was at home sulking over his lost love…Kit was crazy. Yakko decided he really didn't need to be on the back of a bike with a lunatic.

"No, you said I got my license!" Kit yelled back as he throttled the engine, making the bike jump. "I tried to tell you that but you never stopped talking long enough for me to get the words out!"

Yakko removed his hands from his helmet and instead decided to clutch Kit. Then he thought better of it and hugged himself again.

"But you came down here!" Yakko hollered.

"Well, it's not like I can't ride the damn thing!" Kit said jovially as he looked over his shoulder at Yakko. "Been doing it for years! I'm safe on the track aren't I?"

"That's different!" Yakko snapped. "It's a track! You don't have a license for the road!" Inhaling and trying to push down a sense of panic and impending doom, Yakko asked, "How'd you fail the damn thing?"

"I didn't fail - my birthday's next month. I figured you'd know my birthday - I always have a party - think I didn't invite you?" Kit asked in a wounded tone. "This is my sixteenth one!"

Yakko was embarrassed to admit that mentally, even with the danger he was now in, he was relieved that he hadn't forgotten Kit's birthday and he was still invited to the party.

Not that it mattered because it was likely that neither of them was going to survive to their next birthdays, but at least he wasn't going to have to offer up an apology along with a 'Happy Belated Birthday' card.

"I mean really, what's a license but a laminated piece of paper you paid too much money for?" Kit waved him off as he flipped up the kickstand and began to creep the bike up the alley. "It's just another one of those minor technicalities - "

"Oh God I'm gonna get sick," Yakko moaned as he felt the bike began to move and his arms and tail thrashed around in fright.

He had every intention of jumping off, but was worried about breaking his ankle if he did. Jumping off of moving vehicles wasn't exactly recommended even if he was a toon who could Chuck and try to protect himself.

"If Bugs doesn't kill me for this, you're gonna kill me on this contraption!"

"Jesus Warner, you gotta stop doing that!" Kit yelled harshly over his shoulder as he neared the end of the alley. "You wanna tip this thing over?"

"If it gets me off this, yes!"

"Just relax, do what I tell you, and you'll be fine," Kit said in a soothing tone, slowing the bike to a crawl and lowering his foot to keep the bike steady. "First, hold on to me - "

"Oh you wish Mr. Big Taste," Yakko sneered.

"Just do it," Kit snapped. "Otherwise you're gonna tip us over, then I'm gonna feel bad because I'll have to get up and kick your ass and you'll already be a blinky little mess because you won't know when to Chuck and we'll miss Foghorn beating the stew out of old Seymour!"

Well, when put that way…

Yakko had blinked at Kit when the boy went on his rampage, being reminded of Molly briefly. Kit had managed to scream out an incredibly long run-on sentence at him.

He sighed, knowing he was out of his element in this situation. He was going to have to trust Kit; the bear was the expert when it came to motorcycles, not him. Unfortunately, this was slightly different than the usual thing he was going to have to trust Kit with. This wasn't as minor as trusting Kit wouldn't eat the last piece of pie when he left the room or wouldn't tell anyone about his sexual escapades.

No, those were minor compared to his life.

"Trust me Warner, this isn't my idea of a good time. God if anyone I know sees this…I'd rather have a cute brunette back there - "

"If you think I'm putting on a dress - "

"What, that little yellow number you wore? No thanks - you make an ugly girl. I suppose though that an ugly girl wouldn't damage my rep as bad as you…"

Yakko sighed at Kit's smirk and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Kit's waist. He sent a silent prayer to every deity he could remember that not only would no one ever see this, he also hoped that they were in time to stop Foghorn. The mood he was in, Yakko sincerely hoped they were able to stop the chicken because he now wanted to punch Seymour in the face for starting all this hassle.

"Not so tight," Kit grunted. "I gotta be able to move. And you, make sure you lean with me; you're sitting like you got a pole up your ass."

"I'm nervous all right?" Yakko snapped.

"Nothing to be nervous about," Kit said smoothly as he throttled the engine again. "Just relax, enjoy the ride. Oh, make sure you keep your tail up - don't want that caught in the spokes." With a shudder he added, "Saw a guy do that once at a rally - you know how odd a lion looks with a bobbed tail? Bet that hurt like hell…"

Yakko started before he hastily moved his tail, stuffing it up the back of his jacket. He wasn't sure how odd a lion looked, but he wasn't taking any chances with his.

"Just relax Yakko," Kit grinned. "You might like it if you stop being such a whiny bitch about it." Sighing in happiness he said, "It's awesome, the wind, the excitement, the adrenaline rush, sitting with all this power cooped up between your legs - "

"Ya know, I'd really rather have a blond between - "

"Oh yeah, and I'm the nasty one for my 'Big Taste' license plate!" Kit laughed.

With one final chortle, Kit gunned the engine with his right hand slightly, almost making Yakko fall off the bike as he laughed nervously along with the cub.

Maybe Kit was right, maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he was thinking. Feeling the bike lurch suddenly as the dull roar of the engine became louder, Yakko tightened his hold on the cub. If he fell off the bike damn it he was taking Kit with him.

"Don't have time for a real lesson, just hang on to me as we go off and save the day!" Leaning down lower, Kit turned briefly to look at Yakko and yelled, "I feel like a super hero! Guess you're my Robin…"

With that, Kit gunned the engine one last time and sped out of the alley, not bothering with such technicalities as checking for oncoming traffic or even slowing for a red traffic light. Kit leaned the bike to the far left as they went around the corner of Warner Boulevard.

With demented abandon that only the damned possess, Yakko clutched Kit harder and screamed in a high-pitched wail as the bike weaved in and out of vehicles stopped for a red light. Hearing Kit's maniacal laughter as he whooped and hollered in uncontained glee, Yakko closed his eyes and prayed that all this fear would be worth it.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh damn, TIS…the jail…gang members, a cop…shit…all we need is a processing center- "

"Will you shut up already?" Kit demanded as he lifted his face shield with one hand and glanced back at Yakko. "I ain't gonna let 'em take you or anything!"

Yakko ignored Kit, instead tightening his grip on the cub's waist as they rounded the corner of Cummings Avenue and Cavanaugh Lane. He saw a TIS officer lounging against his bright yellow car, slowly unwrapping a burger while watching a group of youths on the corner. Worried, Yakko shoved his face down into the back of Kit's jacket, hoping that the TIS officer didn't look up and recognize him.

"Awww, wanna cuddle now honey?"

Yakko didn't answer; Kit knew how ticked off he was. With the pink helmet, he had gotten several whistles at traffic lights, until he looked up and the occupants of the other vehicles saw his face.

A few laughed and asked if he was wearing his sister's helmet.

A few recognized him, causing him extreme humiliation and had him mentally making a checklist of all the horrid things he planned on doing to Kit once this fiasco was over with.

A couple actually continued to flirt, offering him rides and phone numbers and saying he was a 'damn ugly honey'. One rather homely toon said just because the outside container was ugly didn't mean the juice on the inside was any less sweet.

Yakko had almost thrown the helmet at the man, gotten off the bike and just walked the rest of the way to the hotel. He couldn't get anymore furious and embarrassed. Kit had reached back briefly to grab his jacket to keep him on the bike and roared off though a red light, narrowly missing getting hit by a tractor trailer.

If that wasn't frightening enough, Yakko had been able to hear Kit's uproarious guffaws over the sound of the bike through half of ToonTown. It didn't help that the bear would begin singing 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' at every traffic light.

Instead of throwing yet another useless witticism at Kit for his comments, Yakko instead squeezed Kit hard, briefly smiling when he heard the bear grunt in pain as he slowed the bike for a traffic light.

Turning his head as much as dared, Yakko saw the officer look up briefly from eating his burger, but made no attempt to get in his car to follow.

Releasing a breath, Yakko asked, "How much further?"

"Couple of blocks. Relax Warner, you're too tense. Admit it, it hasn't been that bad has it?"

Had it? Maybe not, but it was hardly what Yakko would term enjoyable. Kit had managed to get them to Natwick without killing them, but Yakko wasn't feeling charitable enough to give the bear an award for that accomplishment.

Weaving in and out of traffic, speeding through yellow lights, changing lanes and only sporadically using any sort of signal…Yakko wondered if Kit actually read the driver's manual or just managed to get lucky guesses on all the questions on the written test. He had no idea how Kit managed to get anywhere without attracting the attention of local law enforcement; it was like he got driver training from Bugs.

Not to mention Kit was constantly distracted by the hookers plying their wares in some of the really seedy sections of town. Kit almost wrecked the bike into a light pole when he spotted a nudie bar, convinced that they could stop in and have a peek before rushing off to rescue Foghorn.

Luckily before he could though he had spotted a scantly clad rabbit on the back of another motorcycle and had been off again. Yakko appreciated a fine body as much as the next guy, but he honestly was surprised with Kit. He was truly worried that one day Kit was going to be leering at the wrong piece of ass and end up getting his kicked.

" - and you're such a worrier - "

"Well I have to be don't I?" Yakko said, snapping back to the conversation as he continued to look around the ghetto, trying to ignore most of what he saw. "I got people at home counting on me - I get caught, I'm gone and what's gonna happen to them?" Sighing, he testily added, "They can't do much to you anymore, but me…"

"Relax; I know all that," Kit said confidently. "And it's not like I don't have experience in eluding and evading myself; I ain't about to just hand you over. Besides, I probably know this area better than they do; I was born two streets up." Letting out a hollow sounding laugh he added, "No place like home huh?"

Yakko suppressed a shudder and didn't respond; he knew how the cub felt. Even having been gone for years, Yakko still felt a disturbing sense of familiarity when they had ridden past a downtrodden little park and continued on to Lilac Lane. Even years later, he could still hear a garish loud voice telling him to turn left and keep going until he saw the "All Night Liquor and Tan" and that the library was at the end of the block.

He had almost told Kit to keep going to the end of the block instead of continuing to cut through Plympton but had resisted the urge. It may have been Saturday, but there was no obese woman there now to greet him and harass him into getting into a goose costume. He did hope that whoever had taken over her position when she had to retire was as good to the children as Goose had been.

He had barely blinked at the other familiar sites of his old neighborhood; not much had changed in the years since he had been gone. The grocery store, the park, the video store…it was all the same, still a dingy decrepit place that should have a bomb dropped on it. The only thing that seemed to have changed was there were more signs of drug use, more pushers on the streets, more needles in the gutters, and more screams coming from the buildings they had passed. He hadn't relaxed until they passed a sign saying "Departing Plympton District".

Much like he had stiffened and gone quite at entering his old neighborhood, Kit had been the same way upon entering the Natwick District. As soon as the sign identifying the neighborhood came into view, Yakko had felt Kit stiffen and his mood turn a bit hard.

"The Bakshi is the one two blocks down to the right."

"Start looking for Foghorn," Yakko ordered, loosening his hold on Kit's waist Gently moving his cramped fingers to regain feeling in them from the horrifying ride he added, "Hope we see him soon; I don't want to hang out here too long."

"A six foot chicken shouldn't be too hard to find, even in this neighborhood," Kit answered as he began to scan the street and weave his way around several potholes in the asphalt. "Is it really wise though to just go riding up to the place? What's your plan anyway?"

Yakko paused. A good question. He had been in such a hurry to get to The Bakshi and Foghorn that he hadn't really given much thought of what to do once they were there.

In fact, looking back on the whole thing, Yakko was willing to admit that he really hadn't thought about any of this very much. If they found Foghorn, what then? He probably wasn't going to go 'you're right kids, let's go'. He was likely to murder them both in the street, then go find Seymour, if he hadn't already.

Looking around, Yakko wondered if they would even make it to Foghorn; the area was decidedly more seedy than he had thought. When he and his siblings had been homeless, they had certainly spent more than their fair share of time in Natwick, but never this far into the district, in the downtown area. He had preferred to spend their time exploring the outer sections in the hopes they would run into slightly less law enforcement and TIS, not to mention fewer drug dealers and other criminals that would want to rob or hurt them.

Even when he had been there that fateful night long ago with Athena, he hadn't remembered it being that crummy. He had been on the other side of the downtown section with her, but as horrid as that had been it was nowhere near as awful.

Not to mention, if - when - they found Foghorn and concluded their business down there…Yakko glanced at his watch. By the time they were done, he was positive that Bugs would have gone back to the lot to pick him up. The rabbit would notice his absence, and if Foghorn didn't kill him, the rabbit was likely to. Plus, he would have to get back to the lot, meaning he would probably have to ride Kit's bike back, and he felt a shudder run down his spine.

Yakko resigned himself to the fact that he probably wasn't going to survive the day.

Of course, if they found Foghorn and somehow managed to stop him in time and survive the encounter, that would be amazing. If they did accomplish all that though Yakko was confident he would have enough time to dream up an acceptable story for Bugs. Not a lie exactly, but some semblance of truth with a liberal dose of fantasy mixed in.

"Ehhhhh…I'll…think of something," Yakko replied with more confidence than he felt. "But…maybe we should park back here, out of sight, and just walk-"

"You lost your mind Warner?" Kit demanded incredulously. "Leave my bike here? You know how much it's worth?"

"Not a damn thing to me," Yakko answered. "But if you screech it out in the middle of the street, everyone's gonna hear, making it a target." He scanned the area before asking, "Don't you have a lock or something for this hunk of junk?"

"This 'hunk of junk' got us down here safe and sound," Kit answered testily. "Yeah, I have a lock, a few actually, but - "

"Trust me, no one in their right mind's gonna want this thing," Yakko assured him, tapping Kit's shoulder and pointing to the curb. "Avoid parking on the needles in the gutter and it'll be fine. It's broad daylight…not that that's ever stopped anyone in this place before…"

"That's comforting," Kit mumbled, but he slowly steered the dirt bike to the curb. "Maybe no one will notice it," he said hopefully. "Everyone around us is either stoned, high, drunk, or worse."

Yakko chose not to point out how many people were noticing the bike as he yanked the ridiculous helmet off his head. He hoped that everyone was noticing that Kit was securing the bike and that the two riders were one-hundred percent male.

Barely resisting the urge to throw the pink helmet in the trash or shoving it down Kit's throat, Yakko handed it back to the bear to secure on the bike. He prayed that if - when - they found Foghorn, he could talk the rooster into giving him a ride because he was never, ever, sitting his ass on a motorcycle again.

With the bike and helmets now more secure than Fort Knox thanks to the locks Kit put on it, Yakko started jogging down the sidewalk. Barely managing to avoid stepping in a pile of green slop that looked like Soylant Green past itsexpiration date, he began to ToonSpeed, ignoring the looks of the other toons as he passed them. Most of them were so screwed up on drink, Twink and other drugs they probably couldn't even use their HammerSpaces anymore, let alone ToonSpeed.

"You better hope nothing happens to my bike Warner," Kit called beside him, panting from the extra exertion from trying to catch Yakko. "I'm gonna kick your ass if anyone looks at it wrong, let alone - "

"Shut up and keep running," Yakko ordered as his feet rapidly pounded the sidewalk. "No one's gonna touch your bike - "

"For your sake I hope not," Kit said darkly. "I'm risking my bike - not to mention my life - just being down here with you."

"What happened to 'I know this area like I know my own hand?" Yakko asked as he slowed for the intersection. Even with as quickly as he could ToonSpeed and Chuck, he was still no match for a moving vehicle. Seeing the light for his side of the street turn red, he stopped and stated, "Thought you weren't afraid of being down here?"

"I'm not afraid of being here!" Kit snapped. "I'm afraid of what Mom will say if she finds out I'm down here…

"Or was at the lot."

"Hell, if I'm out of the house even."

"You're on your own there; remember, you volunteered yourself to come down here and I didn't drag you out of your house," Yakko replied with a shrug. "He wasn't unsympathetic to his friend's plight; Kit was helping him out after all, even with the danger to life and limb. "You still won't have it as bad as I will; remember, I'm gonna have to deal with Bugs."

"We're screwed," Kit sighed, beginning to run across the street as the light changed.

"Ehhhhh…maybe not…we've survived worse," Yakko replied, not confident.

He pushed any thoughts of his impending doom out of his head. The Bakshi was straight ahead; he could see the half burnt out marquee sign advertising its location. It even proclaimed it had vacancies, not surprising him in the least. With its crumbling roof, half broken apart awning out front and the general decaying atmosphere surrounding the area, he doubted that the only thing it was housing was filth, roaches, diseases and rats.

Perfect place for a certain reporter to be staying.

"Start looking out for the truck - "

"Hell, what does his truck look like?" Kit asked before shrugging. "Screw it, look for a nice vehicle I guess - if it's clean, it doesn't belong here."

Yakko ignored him, slowing more so he could carefully scan the streets. He didn't like what he saw. Not seeing the rooster's large black truck, Yakko had started to panic, then relaxed. Maybe Foghorn had changed his mind, regained his sanity before he did something stupid and irreversible, meaning that Yakko had just panicked - and risked his and Kit's lives - for nothing.

Or maybe he just hadn't arrived yet.

Or he had already come and gone, already killed the reporter and was laying low somewhere. It couldn't take that long to beat one reporter to a pulp…

"I just hope we didn't miss a show," Kit muttered as he looked around.

Yakko winced at hearing his prior thoughts voiced out loud, then felt a jolt as he glanced down the street.

A large black pickup was parked next to a trashcan, bright and shiny, chrome gleaming in the sun and standing out like a Ferrari in a used car lot. Parked behind the broken shell of a Gremlin in an otherwise empty section of the street, Yakko wasn't terribly surprised that Foghorn's truck attracted his attention.

Tapping Kit's shoulder to get his attention, Yakko nodded in the direction of the truck.

"Target acquired," Yakko said, pointing towards the vehicle and seeing Foghorn's reflection in the driver's side mirror. "He's even in it, meaning we don't have to go searching for him."

Kit turned to look, squinting his eyes before nodding. "He's by himself…looks like he's talking though. Beaks moving - "

"That's nothing unusual," Yakko pointed out, watching the rooster's reflection for a moment and steeling his nerves. "Doesn't look like he's chanting 'redrum' so we can take comfort in that."

Snickering, Kit asked, "Fine. So fearless leader, what's the plan?"

Yakko, who had been trying to study the area and try to being piecing together what they were going to do now that they had actually found Foghorn, dumbly asked, "Plan?"

"Yeah, plan," Kit snorted. "You got one?"

"Ehhhhh…" Yakko looked at the truck again. Even at the distance, he could tell the rooster was irate. "Well, I don't think going straight up to him is a good idea…course we can't just stand here either…"

"You don't have one, fantastic," Kit groused quietly. Leaning against a light pole he said, "We got two options. Option one; We just walk right up to him now and ask him to leave nicely. Option two, we stand here staring at him and wait for him to finish killing Seymour and he writes 'Helter Skelter' in his blood on the wall."

Yakko, startled at Kit's comment floundered for a bit as he thought.

He had been avoiding this part of the plan, as sketchy as his 'plan' was. Foghorn was unlikely to leave just because they asked nicely. But Kit was correct; standing there watching wasn't going to get anything accomplished. They had to swallow their fear and just go up to him.

Why the hell did he have to be the lone sane individual in a crowd of crazies?

"Yeah, we'll suggest strongly. I mean it's Foghorn - he's usually pretty agreeable. I bet I can just ask him to leave - hell, beg if I have to - and he'll go right home." Shrugging before walking towards the truck, he added over his shoulder, "And if he doesn't, well, you can mallet him for me and put him on the back of your bike. I'll drive the truck home - "

"Shit - me? I don't wanna fight him! He'll kill me - "

"Well, you can't expect me to do it," Yakko reasoned. "After all, you're supposed to be my savior, my friend to the end and all that crap you were waffling about before. You want me to get killed?"

"If only I was so lucky," Kit muttered sourly while falling into step beside him.

Gazing around him again, Yakko looked around the street. The usual things he expected to see greeted him; a drunk relieving himself on a light pole, not bothering to be subtle and going into the alley at least. A bum in a large ratty coat and a gigantic hat was half asleep on a dilapidated bench across the street.

A few women wearing more makeup than clothing were leaning against the wall of The Bakshi, looking bored. They perked up, grinning coyly when a car drove up and the driver gestured towards them. They went over, and after a brief conversation, one happily jumped in the passenger side door while the others went back to the wall and once again went back to looking disinterested.

A few dealers, a few of their customers, a few unidentified but equally uninteresting people. A couple cars dove past, a few slowing before stopping against the curb to purchase various items or services. Yakko, while not overly shocked by the area, still harbored some worry and looked at Kit for confirmation of his thoughts. As Kit proclaimed, this was his home turf, and Yakko wanted assurance that Kit was also checking out their surroundings.

He was.

Kit caught his eye and shrugged, silently telling Yakko what he already knew. Nothing out of the ordinary for the area; be on guard but don't overly worry about the locals.

If Kit wasn't worried, Yakko saw no reason for himself to panic, so he put it from his mind and turned his attention from the activities of the street and back to the truck. He could make out Foghorn's profile, his face hard as he glared at the hotel. Yakko figured he must have chased off the hookers and pushers earlier because everyone was blatantly ignoring the expensive truck and the evil glaring rooster behind its wheel. Everyone was conspicuously looking in any direction but the truck.

Hesitantly, Yakko approached the driver's door. Foghorn was still intently staring at 'The Bakshi' and didn't notice the approaching figures. Yakko hesitated and felt Kit bump into him and he turned to glare at the cub.

"Sorry; wanna make sure I'm around to protect you. Can't have the little honey getting dragged off because - "

Yakko took a step backwards and stepped on Kit's toes, smiling pleasantly when he heard the cub hiss in pain.

Hoping that Foghorn would merely be surprised and wouldn't reach out and wring his neck, Yakko leaned in the open window and cheerfully exclaimed, "What's up doc?"

Foghorn, who had been taking a drink from a bottle of water, did a spit take, spraying the windshield, getting backsplash on himself and Yakko.

"Hey big man, lemme hold a dollar!" Kit said, popping up behind Yakko after the spray subsided. Giving a cheery wave to Foghorn, Kit then quickly took a few steps back while calling, "Come on man, I'll make Yakko work for it! You'll see - he's ravishing in pink!"

Grimacing and ignoring Kit's self-satisfied chortling behind him, Yakko wiped his hand across his face to get the splatter off. He also moved back a few feet. Foghorn, wet and looking like he was in a very bad mood was opening the door and stepping out into the street.

Fists clenched, Foghorn locked his eyes on Yakko and stalked towards him, saying, "I'll give ya a dollar boys - after I take - I say - after I take it out of your hides!"

Yakko decided to make a strategic retreat, quickly back stepping onto the sidewalk and using the truck as a barrier. Foghorn was unlikely to attack him if he was that near his truck.

Kit, that coward, had retreated behind the Gremlin and was watching with a look of amused trepidation on his face.

Foghorn was large - why hadn't he ever noticed that before? Or taken that into account before deciding he could come down there and browbeat the rooster into leaving? Foghorn was out of his mind with anger at the moment and was unlikely to listen to them…

"What the hell are you two doing down here?" Foghorn demanded loudly, causing most of the surrounding toons to turn and stare dully at them. "Told you not to worry about what I'm doing! Trying to keep you all out of it and you all just waltz down here - "

Rounding the side of the truck with Foghorn still stalking him, Yakko said, "We didn't so much waltz as ride - we're trying to save your ass after all - "

"Boy you better worry about someone saving yours! I'm gonna steamroll over that Seymour in that there building and take you two out at the same time!"

The bum on the bench was fully awake now and watching with interest. Yakko dismissed him as he continued to move backwards around the truck; if the guy was even half as messed up as he looked, he wasn't going to be offering them any assistance. Hell, he probably thought he was having a hallucination.

"No place - I say - no place for a couple of kids!" Foghorn continued loudly. "Too young to be down here involved in these goings-on!"

Yakko went to speak again to point they weren't exactly 'kids' and they had both been involved in 'goings-ons' their entire lives but got cut off.

He reached the front of the truck and swiftly made his way to the other side, trying to keep several feet of space between himself and Foghorn who was still stalking him intently. Kit was on his own, still hiding behind the Gremlin. Yakko sent his savior a nasty look; Kit shrugged his shoulders and crouched a bit lower behind the abandoned vehicle to watch.

"You two find that half-witted hare and get out of here!" Foghorn demanded. "Man's gotta defend his honor - can't listen - I say - can't listen to two lippy teenagers and the rabbit at a time like this!"

"I'm not really lippy," Kit called from behind the car. "I'm more charmingly impertinent - "

"Quiet boy!"

"Will do. Yak, you're on your own."

" - rabbit won't stop running his mouth!" Foghorn continued to bellow, attracting even more attention to them. "Don't have the patience to listen to him, not gonna let him talk me out of this - "

"Well…I've got some great news for you then Foghorn," Yakko answered weakly, taking a look behind him to see what his options were for hiding. "You're not gonna have to listen to Bugs…"

Foghorn made a huffing sound and continued talking over Yakko, as if he didn't hear him at first.

" - and I'm not leaving until…" Foghorn cut off briefly from his tirade and narrowed his eyes at Yakko as if thinking.

Yakko gulped audibly and waited, watching as the enraged chicken finally began to figure out what he just said. He quickly went towards the back of the truck. Worse case, if Foghorn charged, Yakko thought he would throw Kit in front of him while he hastily ran down the road.

"Not gonna…have to listen…"

"Ehhhhh, yeah…great news huh? So, wanna leave?"

"Leave…hell no boy I ain't leaving! You are - I say - You are though…and where's Bugs?"

Ignoring the question, Yakko shrugged and replied, "Don't worry about that; let's get out of here. You're not supposed to be down here - "

"Neither are you boy." Foghorn put his hands on his hips and squinted his eyes at him.

Yakko crouched lower, intent on trying to hide under the truck if need be, and prayed that Foghorn would just nicely say he would give him a ride home and they could get the hell out of there. He felt his mood bolster a bit at the thought. Out of imminent danger, he could talk to Foghorn, maybe make him see reason -

"Out with it boy! Where's that silly rabbit?"

"I don't know," Yakko answered honestly while feeling his hopeful mood deflate. "Getting some Trix? The lot? Maybe his house? It's not like he's answering his phone or doing anything useful at the moment - "

"He's not - I say - He's not down here?" Foghorn asked, a momentary look of confusion crossing his features before he threw back his head like a rampaging gorilla and bellowed, "Are you telling me you two numbskulls came down here - "

'We came down here to rescue you!" Kit said helpfully. When Foghorn turned and began walking towards him, Kit raised his hands and retreated to the other side of the Gremlin. Pointing at Yakko he added, "It was his idea! Kill him!"

"My hero!" Yakko moaned in a low tone, crossing his arms to direct an angry glare at Kit.

"Well I can't get killed down here!" Kit said reasonably, rounding the car quickly so he could stand next to Yakko, who turned to glare at him. "I get killed down here, Mom will know I left."

"Son she's the least of your concerns," Foghorn yelled, advancing on them.

Yakko felt Kit grab his arm and drag him around the truck again. As he docilely followed along, he vaguely wondered how ridiculous the three of them looked. He sincerely hoped Globe wasn't watching; he could only imagine the story he could concoct if he was snapping pictures of what was happening out in the street.

"Down here - no chaperone - dangerous," Foghorn rasped as he continued to advance. "TIS all around! Criminals! If something happened to you I'd never - "

"Well, I didn't come alone - I do have Kit," Yakko interrupted while the bear nodded his head vigorously. "He's not much - "

"Damn man, last time I give you a ride."

" - but he is slightly better than nothing," Yakko argued. When Foghorn didn't look convinced he added, "Come on - a chaperone is just…Ehhhhh…a minor technicality." When Foghorn rolled his eyes Yakko said hastily, "After that phone conversation what were we supposed to think? You're down here to commit at least one felony - "

"Gonna be several actually," Foghorn said, making a grab for the two of them.

This time, Yakko was quicker and grabbed Kit's jacket. He dragged the bear as they once again indulged in a round of ring-around-the-Chevy. He decided to keep going for another go, trying to keep several feet between themselves and the enraged rooster. Finally, Foghorn paused, eyes narrowed at the back end of the truck as he looked around.

"Damn it stop pulling on my jacket," Kit groused while shooting Yakko a pleased grin. Smoothing it out he added, "Gonna stretch it - "

Kit broke off in a strangled gasp as Yakko felt someone grab his arm roughly, and he cursed himself for forgetting about Foghorn. In that brief moment of his inattentiveness, the rooster had charged back at them from the other side and was now holding on to their jackets.

Yakko shrank under Foghorn's glare as Kit began to attempt to shrug out of his jacket, muttering that while he liked the jacket, it was an acceptable loss to get out of the irritated rooster's hands.

"Boy, only thing getting stretched around here is both your necks. Don't worry though," Foghorn said grandly. "I'll make sure to leave enough of you intact that your mom will have a shot…" Turning from Kit to Yakko, he added, "I'll even - I say - I'll even let the rabbit take - "

"Can I talk to you please?"

Yakko went stiff as a cadaver at the hissing voice behind him. The voice, while low and annoyed sounding, had a familiar menacing tone to it.

"Oh damn it, not you too!" Foghorn said, sounding frustrated and exasperated as he looked up from glaring at the two boys. "Everyone down here trying to - "

"Let the boys go."

Yakko let out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. They were about to be rescued.

"They're in enough trouble as it is. TIS is around the corner kiddies."

_Ehhhhh…maybe not. _

Yakko exchanged a worried glance with Kit before they both slowly turned their heads to see who their rescuer was.

Damn it.

Kit let out a low groan of despair while Yakko closed his eyes, not believing what he was seeing.

Darkwing Duck, for once not in his flashy purple costume. Dressed in an oversized moth-eaten coat and a battered hat that hid most of his face and smeared in dirt, Yakko instantly placed him as the bum that had been observing them from the bench across the street.

If nothing else, Darkwing got some points for creativity. Yakko prided himself on usually noticing details, and neither he nor Kit had recognized the duck.

He chose not to be too hard on himself; after all he reasoned, they had been trying to flee Foghorn's wrath. They couldn't be expected to notice everything. Plus, he was still stressed from the situation and the hellish ride down there.

Yeah, that was it.

Yakko felt slightly better when he decided to think about it that way. He didn't want anyone lying to him, and he tried very hard not to lie to anyone else, but he reasoned that it was OK if he lied or made excuses to himself. Besides, he had a new problem to deal with.

"Hold on - I say - now hold on!" Foghorn said loudly. "You think I'm gonna let you walk off with - "

"Let's talk a moment," Darkwing ordered, wrenching Yakko out of Foghorn's grasp and pushing Kit aside and causing the cub to stumble out of arm's reach.

Yakko watched in a mix of curiosity and shock as the duck reached up and used one filthy hand to grasp Foghorn by the feathers on his head. He winced; when Foghorn roared in anger the duck began to pull. Yakko thought it looked rather painful.

Darkwing ignored the loudly protesting Foghorn and began dragging him into the alley. Yakko blinked as they both disappeared into the dimly lit spaced. Then he blinked again, amused and horrified and wondering if he too had finally joined the ranks of the insane. Glancing over at Kit who was wearing a similar expression, Yakko breathed a sigh of relief; this really was happening, he wasn't insane.

But now, a dilemma. Should they make a break for it? Escape while they could before TIS or any other unfriendlies appeared, or should they follow into the alley?

Foghorn, pissed though he may be, was unlikely to allow Darkwing to drag him off to a TIS home. The rooster would beat Darkwing down first. Then kill them before going to kill the reporter, getting caught up in several felonies.

Then again, Yakko thought he had seen sides of Darkwing he hadn't known about. Assertive, forceful, and competent - plus, he had that wacky gas gun. Who knew what else the duck had in his arsenal? Maybe he could take Foghorn…

Yakko was curious and really didn't want to miss a show.

"Ehhhhh….We have a decision to make. Watch or get while the getting's good?" Yakko asked.

"Shit on that, I wanna see this," Kit answered.

Grinning despite his worry, Yakko nodded.

"So do I. It's not any idiot that's gonna take on Foghorn."

Looking at Yakko, Kit added with a pained expression, "Darkwing's not…a total incompetent."

"True."

"God it hurt to say that."

"It hurts to hear it."

"You a gambling man Warner?"

"Ten bucks on Foghorn," Yakko quickly said as he watched Foghorn start to stomp out of the alley while still bellowing. "He's bigger and acting like he's possessed at the moment."

"Redrum redrum," Kit chanted with a quite snicker.

He raised an eyebrow as Darkwing briefly made an appearance, dragging Foghorn back into the alley, this time being tossed in. Then the duck stood, arms crossed, at the entrance of the alley. After a moment, he turned briefly to glare at them, beckoning them with cold eyes and a crooked finger to get over there.

"Let's go kiddies, you're drawing a crowd. The wrong kind…get my drift?"

They both ignored him, especially after the duck stepped back into the dark depths of the alley.

"Yeah, great, guess I'll take Darkwing," Kit said with a shrug. "Gotta stick behind a Disney figure. Besides, he seems more sane."

"I'll get in on that action boys," a voice said beside them.

Yakko turned to see a short squat rat dressed in a lime-green velvet sport jacket beside them. He looked up to see a few other toons watching them as well.

Kit jovially hissed 'sucker' to Yakko before saying loudly to the leering rat, "Sure thing pal - me and my partner here would- "

Kit cut off as two grimy hands, Chucked and extended, reached out of the alley and grabbed them by the front of their jackets. Startled, Yakko immediately grasped the hand holding him, futilely trying to pull it off.

Feeling himself flying through the air for a few moments and not having enough time to prepare any sort of defense, Yakko inhaled as he was forcibly jerked into the alley. He tried to ignore Kit's caterwauling beside him and hoped it wasn't as loud as it sounded.

The four of them were definitely causing a scene and he prayed again that Seymour Globe and his damn camera wasn't in the area.

Another moment and he felt himself being roughly deposited ass first on the alley's grimy cobblestones with a loud thud, followed by Kit, whose earsplitting yells ended abruptly. Then the cub gave a shaky sigh of relief.

Rolling his eyes at the cub's theatrics, Yakko stood to dust himself off and glanced up at Foghorn. The rooster, who had been looking livid at being held hostage in the alley, had started when Yakko and Kit were roughly deposited on the ground in front of him.

Darkwing stepped back momentarily out of the alley. From his vantage point in the muck on the ground Yakko couldn't make out what the duck said or did, but it must have been somewhat impressive because the pimped-out rat, who had started to enter the alley, scampered away in fear.

Seeming to get over his shock, Foghorn sprang into action, barreling between Yakko and Kit. Yakko felt himself stumble before falling to the ground again and sighed in annoyance; he had just about managed to get most of the dust and dirt of the alley off him, and now he was sitting in it again.

Foghorn stalked up to Darkwing who was watching with an air of bored disinterest and demanded, "Where the hell - I say - Where the hell do you - "

Yakko, who had cautiously gotten to his feet and was again dusting himself off, winced at the noise the rooster was making. He was now relatively sure that not only Seymour was watching this, but probably the entire neighborhood as well. There was no possible way they were going to escape this unscathed.

Darkwing seemed unconcerned. While Foghorn continued to rant and rave, the duck was calmly wiping his hands clean with a cloth he pulled out of his HammerSpace. A quick spin-change later and he was dressed in his usual cheesy outfit.

Foghorn had never paused his tirade the entire time.

Yakko gave him a huffy look before glancing back at Darkwing, prepared to let the duck know exactly what he thought about being manhandled into the alley. He paused though, nudging Kit into silence when he caught a glimpse of Darkwing's face.

Foghorn hands on hips was bent over and currently roaring in Darkwing's face about how he didn't need any help and that Darkwing could carry his garishly-colored ass somewhere else.

Darkwing wasn't backing down from the enraged pullet. He was up on the tips of his webbed feet, his own hands clenched as he and Foghorn went beak-to-beak and tried to out shout each other. Darkwing gave up first.

Yakko watched as Darkwing silently fumed while Foghorn questioned the ducks motivations and reasons for being there interfering. Darkwing again tried to speak several times without any success. Every time he started, Foghorn declared that 'no one can get a word in edgewise with you son' and how the duck was about 'as useful as a vending machine serving condoms at the Vatican'.

Yakko got the distinct impression that Darkwing didn't care for being called 'son'. The longer the rooster went on, the more the duck seemed to simmer.

Darkwing finally gave a chilly smile before smoothly taking a step back from Foghorn, giving off the air of one unconcerned. He brushed off an invisible spec of dust before grandly reaching up to remove his hat. He gazed at it with reverence for a moment.

After the moment passed, Darkwing took the hat and roughly smacked Foghorn over the head with it, sending a loud clapping sound reverberating throughout the alley. It also brought the rooster's wrath to a screeching halt, stopping him in mid-word and causing him to simply blink, dumbfounded.

Then…silence. In the alley, even the street outside, like even the rats and bugs and the wind itself was so momentarily stunned by what happened it couldn't even blow correctly.

Yakko stared for a moment before giving a startled blink, barely registering Kit give a breathy 'oh shit' beside him. He took heart in the fact that he just won ten dollars because there was no way Foghorn wasn't going to throttle Darkwing now.

He chose to ignore the fact that with Darkwing throttled and out of the picture, that would allow Foghorn to throttle him and Kit in the alley before advancing on Seymour, who probably had enough pictures to concoct a hundred stories out of at this point.

This had been a complete, stupid waste of time. Plus, Bugs was gonna kill him.

"Idiot!" Darkwing hissed dangerously in Foghorn's astonished face. "What part of I'll take care of it didn't you understand?"

"I…I say - "

"Say nothing!" Darkwing said darkly. "Surveillance! Do you comprehend the meaning of that word?"

"I didn't want - I say - I didn't want to survey anything!" Foghorn snapped angrily. "I wanted to - "

"Oh, I know what you wanted to do," Darkwing answered evenly. "Liable to get you thrown in jail and give our friend in there yet another story to write to get his name even more well known and give even more credit to his outlandish claims!"

"I was just gonna have a conversation with him, that's all - "

"And your other conversations with him have gone so well, I can certainly see why you would want another one with him," Darkwing sarcastically interrupted. "Must be why you had half your friends on the force keeping an eye out for Globe." At Foghorn's surprised look Darkwing added, "I'm a vigilante, and a bounty hunter, and a private detective…did you think I would know no one on the police force? Or not have any friends among them?"

"Didn't think you had many friends anywhere actually - "

"You didn't think…that seems to be an ongoing problem with you. You don't think before acting, that's been made clear hasn't it?" Darkwing's voice grew louder, drowning out the surprised Foghorn. "Why are you down here? Why are you depriving some village of its idiot? Do you think you can just waltz down here, stomp on a reporter's face - which is assault by the way - "

"Gonna use my mallet actually - "

Yakko slapped a hand over his eye in exasperation. Foghorn might as well just asked to be arrested.

"So…assault and Gross Toon Misconduct. Did you honestly think you could just waltz back home and there'd be no repercussions?"

Yakko had been watching in open mouthed astonishment that was rapidly turning into a moment of panicked hilarity. Out of everything that could have happened today, he didn't honestly think he was going to see Foghorn rendered speechless by Darkwing.

"Just wanted to approach that reporter…friendly like," Foghorn said desperately, his anger and astonishment beginning to be replaced with a small bit of logic.

"I've seen your approach, now I want to see your departure," Darkwing said in an authoritative tone before glancing over his shoulder. "Thanks to you, my job is now harder - everyone in the neighborhood knows we're down here - and that probably includes Seymour. Meaning I'm going to have to track him again if he's disappeared."

The fact that Foghorn was beginning to look a bit chagrinned by the scolding wasn't helping matters any, and with a slight bit of alarm Yakko felt a laugh bubbling up in his chest. He again wondered if he was going to survive the day with any bit of his sanity intact. Foghorn was now sputtering and spurting out words and sounded like he was speaking in tongues he was so flustered.

He heard Kit beginning to laugh beside him and finally gave in to the moment, joining in. The look Foghorn shot them could have curdled milk, but Yakko didn't care at the moment. He was relatively certain he could kiss his ten dollars good-bye but decided he didn't even care about that. To see Foghorn bested by Darkwing had been worth it.

"Yeah, it's all fun and games till the cops show up, right kiddies?" Darkwing asked, his tone light and amused but with a slight touch of malice to it. Crooking his finger at them, he said, "Come here, got something to share with you two."

Curious despite his better judgment, Yakko leaned in with Kit to hear what possible information DipWing could possibly have that would interest them.

Darkwing put one hand on Yakko's shoulder and his other on Kit's before grinning, raising Yakko's suspicions. The next thing Yakko knew, his head was knocked into Kit's.

"Damn it," Yakko snapped, reaching up to feel if he had a knot on the side of his head. The damn duck was stronger than he looked and Kit's head felt like it had the same consistency as a brick. "Keep your hands off me Duck," Yakko warned, feeling his badly strained nerves snap. "My brother deals in pies; I don't play quite as nicely."

"Yeah, I don't want to even contemplate what you had to do to get your hands that dirty Dripwing," Kit sneered. "Keep off my jacket."

"Drop the attitude kiddies; all bark and no bite," Darkwing said dismissively, waving his hand at them in a trivializing fashion before turning back to Foghorn. "TIS left the area for the time being, so no need to bark and snarl like a couple of frightened puppies. Your milk teeth don't scare me."

Yakko shared a look with Kit, mostly surprised that he was being dismissed by Darkwing. He barely restrained Kit when the bear pulled his mallet and pulled him back from Darkwing a few feet.

He sighed in relief though. TIS wasn't in the area, and Darkwing had his hands full dealing with Foghorn and whatever he planned on doing with Seymour. The odds were good that he wanted to get a piece of Seymour way more than he wanted to haul Yakko's ass to TIS.

Plus, Darkwing would think he was with Foghorn. He was, sorta; it didn't really matter if he came down there with Foghorn, just as long as he was with him now. That's all that counted.

Pointing his finger into Foghorn's chest, Darkwing growled harshly, "And you hauled kids down here to this hellhole? What's wrong with you? One's not - "

Foghorn frowned and said, "Didn't haul - I say - Didn't haul - "

"Well, they're here aren't they?" When Foghorn didn't answer, just sent a dark look towards Yakko, Darkwing glanced over his shoulder and asked, "And I just know you're down here with a chaperone…right Warner? Surprised the Bunny let you out of his sight."

Yakko glared back, but said nothing. Foghorn wasn't talking; he would stay silent as well. Darkwing had, unfortunately, proven he was no fool. Yakko prided himself on not being a fool either; the duck was trying to goad one of them into admitting something that would be better kept quiet.

"And…Cloudkicker…I mean Cunningham…" Darkwing said the surname with a slight sneer, as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "I'm surprised Mommy let you come out, especially here of all places."

Darkwing gave a knowing look to all of them before shrugging and straightening his jacket. "And since I have both the rabbit's and Rebecca's number, won't be any problem to call and check that they know their kids - "

"Stop calling us kids," Kit interrupted.

Yakko roughly nudged him in the ribs.

"Well you are, for all your big talk," Darkwing shrugged. "I know you two - kids - wouldn't have come down here by yourself; I doubt you two would have found it without - "

"We managed to find this place all on our own," Kit snapped arrogantly. "I don't need Mom to walk…me…oh shit…"

"Shut up moron," Yakko hissed quietly while kicking Kit.

"Too late - I say – Too late for that," Foghorn sighed quietly, rubbing the end of his beak and sharing a brief look of annoyance with Yakko. "Boy done let the bear outta the trap."

"Oh, you did huh?" Darkwing said with a sly turn of his head. Squinting and rubbing his chin thoughtfully he paused before asking, "And all by your selves too. Bet that means that someone probably isn't down here with a chaperone…" he singsonged. "And I can bet that means that someone else's mother probably has no clue where her wayward son has carried off to."

_Oh shit. _

Yakko jumped while Kit groaned, surprised that Darkwing had managed to put that together. He had been hoping that the duck would just question Foghorn's judgment but assume that he and Kit had come down with the rooster.

Darkwing actually could be competent, on occasion. It wasn't just a one time lucky fluke before when he had managed to find out the background info on Seymour before, or help out Ms. Cunningham with Kit's adoption.

Yakko scowled. Why did Darkwing have to prove to be competent now? He began to reach back towards his own HammerSpace; he'd be damned if he was letting himself be hauled off without a fight.

"Don't bother Warner," Darkwing said, not even turning to look at Yakko. "You either Kit. I've got a pair of HRC cuffs with your names on it."

Yakko felt a chill run down his spine at being reminded of the dreaded cuffs. Kit clutched his arm painfully but stayed still.

"Now hold on here Duck," Foghorn said, seemingly shocked back into the conversation by Darkwing's revelation. "Boys are down here with me."

"They are huh? So, let me get this straight," Darkwing taunted. "You came down here to commit at least one felonious act and you brought children with you? Without anyone else's knowledge? And to this neighborhood of all places?" He pointed across the street to where several teenagers were hanging out on a stoop, smoking and drinking and exclaimed, "They were lucky enough to get out of the hellholes they were born into and you drag them back?"

"Now hold on- "

"I ask again, do you ever think?"

"Well, it wasn't - I say - it wasn't like that…exactly - "

"And since we all know why you're down here - "

"Never said why," Foghorn pointed out. "Just said I wanted to talk to that reporter…"

"Uh huh," Darkwing said, turning to look out of the alley. "I'm not an idiot, despite what you may think of me. Just get out of here, let me handle things. You don't want any of this pinned to you or the kids."

"Not gonna be pinned on the kids - "

"If they're down here with you like everyone's been 'claiming' it will be whether you like it or not," Darkwing said quietly. "Get them out of here; go talk, go get a pizza, go strangle them if you want, but do it somewhere else. Just leave. I promise, this reporter won't be bothering any of you again when I'm done."

"Don't need anyone fighting my battles," Foghorn said in a snippy tone.

"No, but we'd all be better off if someone did the thinking for you on occasion," Darkwing snapped back. "I'm giving you the chance to leave, no questions asked."

Yakko, who had been watching in a horrified fascination, saw Darkwing stiffen a bit. Wondering what the duck saw, Yakko looked over the other toon's shoulder, and saw what had attracted his attention. Kit followed his line of sight and let a short hiss of air escape him.

Seymour Globe, speaking to the same rat toon in lime-green from before. Lovely.

And even better, Foghorn also had turned to look and saw the object he had been craving.

The rooster stiffened, turned to look back at Kit and Yakko, then began to walk towards the entrance of the alley.

"Fine, I give up," Darkwing said, throwing his hands in the air before turning towards Yakko and Kit while reaching behind him. "I'll arrest these two now - I'll arrest you after you're finished. Much as it pains me, you attack him, I'll have - "

There arose a large clamor in the alley, and Yakko almost tripped over his own feet to get around Darkwing, finding his mallet in the process and wincing slightly when he felt the envelope containing the pictures brush against his hand.

Kit had moved as quick and had his own mallet out and was already standing in the ready position, a stern determined look on his face.

Yakko, while brandishing his mallet, briefly debated on pulling the pictures out. He could hand them to Darkwing, who would probably be grateful to get them in his hands.

Grateful enough to let them go? Hard to say. Worse case, Yakko decided he could use them as bribery, threaten to go to the papers with them should the duck manage to actually get his hands on them and arrest them.

He could do it…It might get them all out of this mess.

He could…but he wouldn't.

No matter what happened, even if he did get arrested, he knew deep down he could never actually go to the papers with those photographs. He couldn't even threaten Darkwing with it. With his own personal distaste of the entire ordeal, he was pretty sure Darkwing would be able to see through the ruse.

While he had strong feelings about Darkwing, Yakko had no personal animosity towards Ariel or Jasmine and no desire to embarrass or humiliate them like that. Even if he didn't like them for some reason personal integrity wouldn't allow him to do that.

No, even if Darkwing somehow did manage to arrest them, the photographs were safe.

Yakko shuddered; he had a ticket to get himself and Kit - and maybe Foghorn too - out of the alley Scot-free and he wouldn't use it. All because of high moral principles and some sense of honor.

Damn honor. He hoped it wouldn't backfire in his face.

"Oh, pulling weapons too, more charges - "

"Now wait a damn minute!" Foghorn yelled, stomping back while glaring at Darkwing, who was standing there gloating at the larger bird. "Said the boys are with me - "

"Gotta make up your mind Foggy," Darkwing taunted. "They're either with you and you're not going to go throttle the reporter meaning you just dragged two minors to a ghetto on a joyride."

"No! I - "

"So, they aren't with you. Meaning you were down here to commit at least Gross Toon Misconduct…and the kids aren't with you."

"I - "

"Save it. The reporter or the kids? You don't get both and I can assure you I'm not leaving out of this hellhole empty handed. I'm giving you first choice of what you take with no questions or charges. Remember though, I will be taking whichever one you don't choose."

Yakko exchanged a quick glance with Kit and mouthed 'get ready to run', getting a nod in response. Foghorn wasn't in his right mind, meaning he might -

"You can't - I say - you can't be that low - "

"I have a responsibility to the law, such as it is," Darkwing said. "And I do have their best interests at heart - "

"Oh bullshit," Yakko burst out.

"These kids - this one at least," Darkwing continued, pointing towards Yakko with a HRC in his hand. "Are down here with no chaperone, pulling their mallets in public - in one of the worst sections of ToonTown. Can't just leave them here can I? Can't let you just go around beating up citizens either - "

"Fucking hypocrite," Kit laughed harshly. "You were gonna do the same thing. Hell - you do - vigilante - "

"You call me a vigilante like it's a bad thing," Darkwing interrupted in a wounded tone. "But I can handle the bad publicity; goes along with my image…and most things I do so brats like you can sleep safe in your bed at night don't make it in the paper," he pointed out. "So I've got a darker reputation…Foghorn doesn't…but he will…and I would think that since you two ding-dongs came down here you'd be concerned about that. Besides, I know how to work around certain laws that might prove troublesome for you three."

Yakko looked over at Foghorn, unsure what to do. He was prepared to battle to his last breath to get out of the alley and was cursing himself for even letting himself get into this situation. The next time he decided to help, he wasn't, that was for sure.

Foghorn looked conflicted, like he wasn't sure if he should still kick the reporter's ass, or just let that go and kick Yakko and Kit's asses instead. Yakko tightened his grip on his mallet, taking comfort in its thick wood handle.

"Make a decision Foghorn," Darkwing whispered. "Just make it a good one, and one you can live with. Remember, I'm not the only officer out here; we can and will catch them - and you - if we have to."

"Won't let you haul the kids off," Foghorn said gruffly, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at the duck. "Promise you that duck; those boys and their mallets will be the least of your worries you put your hands on them - "

"Fine," Darkwing said, spinning on his heel and putting his cuffs away and cutting a knowing glance towards Yakko. "Take your charges and get out of here. I don't want to arrest them anymore than I do you. Leave the reporter to me. You have my word, he'll never bother you - or anyone you care about - again."

"I…But…"

"Foghorn, please," Yakko said, managing to keep most of the begging out of his voice. Darkwing was staring at him again, but he picked up the hint; get out and let him handle things, or else. Thinking quick he added in a quiet pleading voice, "If not for us, think of Wakko, what's he gonna think if his hero is out beating up people and getting arrested. Or worse, if you go off to prison…just like his Dad…"

_Sucker! _

Yakko, despite the situation, felt his lips tug upwards slightly in a self-satisfied smirk. Wakko was Foghorn's Achilles Heel, and Yakko knew Foghorn thought less than nothing of a supposed man who deserted their children. He wouldn't want to put Wakko through being taken from someone else he cared about.

It was a low maneuver, but Yakko didn't care; it wasn't all incorrect. True, he didn't want to see the big dumb cluck hauled off to prison for Gross Toon Misconduct or worse, and he sure as hell didn't want to be hauled off to a TIS Home, but he also didn't want to see his little brother crushed because his hero was gone.

It was low and dirty, but effective. He'd have to tell Bugs one day that he had learned the rabbit's method of trickery well.

"Nice one man," Kit said in amazement, watching as Foghorn's face dropped. With a flourish, he returned his mallet to his HammerSpace and added, "Damn, you're better at a guilt trip than Mom and Molly combined."

"Now boy that ain't fair - "

"He's right," Darkwing said from his position against the wall, where he was calmly surveying the situation and the surrounding street. "I got a responsibility to the law - your responsibility is to these two ding-a-lings who thought enough about you to come down, not to mention all the younger children who look up to you. Listen to these two; leave now."

Yakko reached behind him to put his mallet away, and felt the envelope containing the pictures of the princesses brush his hand gently, as if reminding him they were there and should really be in someone else's hands. He had been hoping to forget about them…until later. But he wasn't, and even though his HammerSpace was invisible and weightless, with them back there it felt like it was a fifty pound weight he was carrying around.

He sighed. While he would never let anyone else see the photos and they would be hidden away from sight, he wouldn't mind taking another teeny-tiny peek. Just one - not that he would ever forget how hot Ariel was without that damn shell bra.

It wasn't like anyone knew - except Kit - and Yakko knew the bear cub would never give him away. He tried to argue with himself to just keep them…

But, it wasn't right to keep them…

Probably…

Damned honor.

"Ehhhhh…wait a second…"

Yakko spoke before he thought, and was almost surprised when everyone in the alley turned at his quiet request.

"What is it now?" Darkwing snapped. "Take the break you've been offered and leave. We both know you aren't supposed be down here; hell, you don't belong down here. You never did."

Yakko blinked, surprised by the venom in the ducks voice and at the compliment. He ignored it though as he slowly pulled the photographs from his HammerSpace. With a small shrug at Kit and ignoring Foghorn's raised eyebrow, Yakko handed them to the annoyed Darkwing.

The duck sent him a glare but took them, ripping open the envelope in such a frenzy that Yakko was surprised he didn't destroy the pictures. As he began to flip through them, Darkwing's face contorted from annoyance to a look of dark neutrality.

Reaching the end of the stack quickly, Darkwing looked up and asked in a menacing tone, "Do I need to ask if there are additional photographs - or copies - anywhere around?"

Yakko bristled inwardly but answered in an even tone, "None that I'm aware of, but I don't know what Seymour's got do I? I can assure you that I don't have anything else."

Kit snorted and muttered, "Damn, was hoping for a copy…" Louder though he added, "Look DW, I was there when they came off the machine - not that I wanted to look at those smutty things," he assured Darkwing with a wicked grin. "But, I can ease your mind; as soon as we saw the pictures we started trying to call Bugs. No copies were made, no one else has seen them."

"No one else even knows about them," Yakko added. "I was going to give them to Bugs when I saw him but…" With a helpless shrug, he said, "Figured since you were going to see Globe, and you know them…I figured you would take care of them for me."

"Thank you; if these got out…" Darkwing trailed off for a moment, getting an odd look on his face before continuing. "They would have been humiliated, their reputations ruined…thank you for giving them to me." He turned to walk out of the alley, but paused and turned back to say quietly, "I was right; you really don't belong here. Anyone else around here would have sold them to the highest bidder, or tried to blackmail them. You might bear watching after all."

With that, the duck slunk out of the alley. Yakko blinked and lost sight of Darkwing and he idly wondered how the hell a duck dressed in dark purple could disappear in broad daylight. Houdini didn't have anything on the duck, that was for sure.

" - and you two - "

Before Yakko could register what was happening, he felt himself being roughly jerked by Foghorn, who looked supremely angry at having been denied his grand revenge. He glanced over at Kit, who was again trying to struggle out of his jacket, not that Yakko could blame him. The six foot tall rooster who was usually babbling was rather intimidating when he was in the best of moods. Now moody and silent, all Yakko could hope for was that whatever he planned, it was going to be quick and mostly painless.

"Come on Foghorn, just calm down," Yakko said soothingly. "We saved your life really - "

"Oh I agree," Foghorn said in a surprisingly agreeable tone. "Gotta worry about - I say - Gotta worry about yours now. My afternoon plans are shot, so I gotta find something else to occupy my time."

With those words, Kit dug his feet into the grime of the alley and declared he refused to allow Foghorn to drag him around like some drunken prom queen. Foghorn unhanded Yakko long enough to sling Kit over his shoulder like a brace of dead rabbits. Yakko seriously thought about running and abandoning Kit to his fate, but remembered that he didn't have the keys to the bike and had no idea how to drive it anyway.

With Kit now screeching like a histrionic idiot, Foghorn again grasped Yakko's arm and hauled him towards the truck. Yakko was going to protest this treatment and inform Foghorn he didn't need to drag him because he was perfectly willing to get out of there, but thought better of it. Foghorn had a free shoulder.

Kit's yelling abruptly ended when Foghorn unceremoniously dumped him on the sidewalk beside the pickup.

"Thank you," Kit said, smoothing his jacket down and trying to regain some sense of decorum as he gave the rooster a nasty glare. "Rather barbaric. Hope you don't treat the ladies like that. Explain a lot though - "

"Just get in the truck boy; ya bother me."

"Don't need to; rode my bike - "

"Get in the truck!" Foghorn bellowed.

Yakko bolted into the sanctuary of the Chevy's front seat; Foghorn was unlikely to kill him in the truck. He had heard blood was notoriously hard to clean from the cloth seats. Kit, mouth shut for once, clamored over him to claim the back seat, muttering something about attempting to stay out of harm's reach.

Deciding to be prudent and stay silent for the time being, Yakko gazed out of the windshield and saw Darkwing across the street, near some bushes at the hotel's front. After a second of staring at him, Yakko saw Darkwing look up and amazingly meet his eyes.

The both stared at each other for a moment, as if sizing an opponent up. Yakko felt his eyebrows raise when Darkwing, amazingly, nodded his head to him once and actually touch the brim of his hat like he was saluting. The next second he was gone from sight again and Yakko settled back into his seat as the truck was started.

"Not sure - I say - Not sure what those pictures were, and I ain't gonna ask," Foghorn said. "But the way that duck took off, think you just put the final nail in that reporter's coffin boy."

"Damn, was hoping to see it," Kit added from the back seat. "Oh Foghorn, my bike is a few blocks that way."

"Quiet boy; you don't need the bike right now."

Crap.

Foghorn was probably taking them to some secluded spot to strangle them, but Yakko figured he had earned Darkwing's grudging respect, even if he lost a porno's dream.

Plus he had helped stop Foghorn from doing something incredibly stupid, so the trip down there hadn't been a total waste.

He tried to tune out Foghorn who was bellowing about them coming down to the ghetto and Kit who was quietly grousing about his bike while giving directions back to it.

They had accomplished part one of their mission; stopping Foghorn. Foghorn still seemed riled up but not inclined to commit murder in the near future.

Besides, Foghorn owed him now, especially since he and Kit were going to catch hell because of part two; facing Bugs and Ms. Cunningham. Somehow, he doubted those two were going to see reason, so he might as well Fritz a pair of earplugs and resign himself to getting screamed at for a few hours.

Yakko settled back in his seat and thought, but the adrenalin that had been coursing through him earlier was wearing off. It left him with a lethargic feeling that was making it hard to think. At this point, all he really wanted was a nap.

To take his mind off his troubles, Yakko decided to think about how much Foghorn was in his debt. Maybe he and Kit would be really lucky and could convince Foghorn when he shut up to not say anything about this to anyone.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 22, 1996

_- was found wandering the streets of Natwick, wearing only a demented look, a layer of purple paint, doused in feathers while carrying a toilet plunger. _

_Upon his discovery and subsequent arrest, Mr. Globe had only screamed 'Let's Get Dangerous' before attempting to beat the arresting officers with the plunger. Mr. Globe is currently being held at 'Panic Penitentiary' in the mental health ward for observation and treatment where he claims 'everyone is out to get him'._

"_While it is unclear what happened to Mr. Globe to cause his mind to become completely unhinged, it is safe to assume that this has been a long time in coming," a statement released by an unnamed attorney at Disney Studios said. "It is our hope that Mr. Globe is able to obtain the treatment he needs at Panic Penitentiary while serving what is sure to be a lengthy prison sentence for his various crimes."_

"_We are extremely pleased to hear this fugitive from justice has been apprehended," another attorney from Warner Brother's Studios claimed. "The damage that has been done by his fabrications to our stars and their families is painful, but with time and the support of the studio and their fans, we believe that all involved will come out stronger because of it. We are relieved the truth has finally come to light."_

_Mr. Globe was instrumental in beginning a scandal that had rocked ToonTown to its core, alleging that many stars were engaging in inappropriate behavior with several minors, along with allegations of everything from assault to asking for special favors from local law enforcement in having tickets removed or having various charges dropped. _

_After these accusations, the stars and their respective studios denied the allegations. After several weeks, the studios affected filed paperwork in the courts of ToonTown, seeking a cease-and-desist order, along with an undisclosed amount of money in damages caused by what is clearly a case of libel. After several arrests for trespassing and harassment, Mr. Globe went missing. There were reports he had been seen in the Natwick District of ToonTown, but went missing from there before he could be apprehended by police._

_After his discovery, police obtained a warrant and conducted a thorough search of Mr. Globe's room at The Bakshi, unearthing a wealth of information. Found among his possessions were several pictures of himself sneaking onto private property to photograph unsuspecting stars, several of them seemingly underage, along with many documents and interviews showing that this reporter falsified many of his claims. All items were neatly stacked on Mr. Globe's bed, tied with purple twine._

"_While I'm not at liberty to say what these documents and photographs contained, I will say they lend credence to the claims made by numerous sources that said Mr. Globe was being a bit 'loose' with the truth," said Officer Cosgrove of Natick District Police. "While none of the photographs clearly identified any one person with any certainty, they all show Mr. Globe engaging in what could clearly be called illegal behavior. While we can't be certain, several of the pictures show what appear to be children as well, something that sickens myself and every other member of this department. When and if he recovers from his breakdown, Mr. Globe will have much to explain at a hearing and trial."_

_While Mr. Globe had been missing for over a week prior to his discovery, several articles and exposes had been printed by less reputable papers. While it is unlikely that these tabloids will print retractions, our paper is happy to report only fact-based claims, and any claims made by Mr. Globe have been deemed at best 'unreliable' and at worst complete fabrications. _

_Our sincerest apologies to our readers, along with anyone - star or private citizen - who was in any way injured or embarrassed by this reporter's scandalous claims. _

_While Mr. Globe never reported for our paper, he had submitted several stories at one time, none of which were published. It is our job to report factual news, and it is our policy for all our reporters to show verifiable sources before any story is printed. Mr. Globe's atrocious behavior reflects badly on all news agencies, especially legitimate sources such as ours. While it is not uncommon for the tabloids to - _

_*story continued on page 3_

Yakko nodded as Bugs continued to read out loud to their group with a serene look on his face.

He had absolutely no idea what Darkwing had done, but suffice to say whatever it was had worked. Mr. Globe would no longer be bothering them or anyone else except maybe the mental health workers at Panic Penitentiary. His days as a reporter were over; no matter what he said or how much treatment he received, no paper, tabloid or otherwise, would print anything he wrote.

Growing bored with the story - he had read it earlier in the day - Yakko looked across Foghorn's large yard, watching as the younger children engaged in a game of tag, not having a care in the world. Dot, getting along well on her crutches, was currently 'it'. She had been 'it' several times now, but the other children were only barely walking away from her, allowing themselves to be tagged quickly.

He did have to point out to her though while using her crutches to tag them was a good idea - she had rightly pointed out it extended her reach - smacking everyone over the head with them wasn't a good idea. She had hit Buster so hard the rabbit had seen stars.

But if she knocked all of them out they couldn't play anymore. Then she'd have to sit there and be bored. After she thought about that, she went a little easier on them.

He was glad they were having a good time, and the suggestion by Bugs to have a party to celebrate Seymour's breakdown had been a welcome one. After all the stress and heartache caused by the man, Yakko didn't feel too guilty about celebrating his ruin.

Neither did anyone else apparently because everyone had shown up at Foghorn's house. Even Plucky was there with Jeeves and Max. Now that Foghorn and Bugs and the others weren't getting bad publicity, his parents had decided that it was acceptable for their son to associate with them again. Vindicated stars got lots of publicity, and they certainly didn't want their child to miss any photo opportunities.

There had been occasional questions or rude comments from the tabloid media or the average person on the street, but for the most part, the scandal seemed to be dying off, being replaced with new, legitimate stories. Any paper that was legitimate had killed the story or done interviews with the involved stars and their studios, thereby garnering good publicity and massive appeal with the general public.

Yakko also figured they were celebrating everyone's return to normal, or as normal as this group got. Foghorn, as loud and boisterous as always, was grilling hotdogs with Jeeves, making sure to place a few carrots and other such vegetables on the grills for the vegetarians in the group. Ms. Cunningham was trying to shoo him and Kit off to play with the younger children as she had been for the last hour.

He cut his eyes toward Kit when the cub laughed about something Slappy said before smirking himself.

Somehow, he and Kit had managed to escape their little ghetto tour unscathed. Foghorn, surprisingly, had covered for them with Bugs and Ms. Cunningham.

The rooster, still bellowing about them leaving the lot and bemoaning the fates that he wasn't going to be the one to punch Globe in the nose, had driven back to where Kit's bike was parked. Then he had promptly thrown a fit, mostly about the 'Big Taste' license plate, and asked which one of them had the bright idea to raid a 'HoneyCombs' box to get it.

Yakko had been more than happy to point out that it was Kit's nitwit idea, not his this time. Just to show how sporting he was, he had also pointed out Kit's lack of driver's license.

He had thought it hysterical; Kit hadn't been quite as amused.

Foghorn, in a fit of parental concern, had said there was no way in hell he was allowing either of them to ride anywhere on a bike that wasn't registered, especially with no license. Yakko hadn't been too surprised; he was actually pleased. Not only did he not have to make a return trip on it, but with Foghorn bellowing about them holding umbrellas when common sense was being rained down on Earth, it was a sign that the rooster was returning to normal.

They had gotten back to Kit's house with a surprisingly large portion of their hearing intact. In the middle of unloading Kit's bike though, Ms. Cunningham had driven up, roaring into the driveway at mach-one. Claiming she knew he hadn't been home because she had been calling the house for hours and seeing Foghorn unloading the bike, she had unloaded on Kit, right in the front yard. According to her, Kit was grounded until Pauly Shore had a number-one movie and won an Oscar.

If the situation hadn't been so dire, Yakko probably would have laughed just because of the expression on Kit's face. Of course she had directed a wrathful look towards him too so Yakko had decided to hold his hilarity in until later.

But, they were caught. Red handed so to speak. No way out of it this time. Kit was whimpering that he would sell his crooked horny little soul to the highest bidder if someone, anyone, could get him out of this. Ms. Cunningham had threatened to sell his bike too often for his comfort. If she found out he had been tooling around town joyriding on it…

Either fortune had smiled upon them or Foghorn just took pity on their stupid asses because he had jumped to the rescue, concocting a story about how Ms. Cunningham was just mistaken about what she was seeing.

They weren't unloading the bike - they were loading it. Because it needed work done to it. Foghorn was just towing it for Kit because she hadn't been home. With that, the rooster, who had already unstrapped the bike from the bed of the pickup, began strapping it down again while whistling 'Camptown Races' like he didn't have a care in the world.

Yakko had almost covered his face with his hands, thinking she couldn't possibly fall for that. He had dumbly nodded his head when she asked if it was true, not really liking the story but since he hadn't come up with anything better he decided to play along and just braced for her next round of screaming.

His jaw had dropped when she not only ate up the ridiculous story, she actually thanked Foghorn for 'coming to the rescue'. Ms. Cunningham mostly drove a Ford Taurus; however, they did own a large motor home they used when Kit had a competition to haul his bike and other gear. She despised driving the 'hulking monstrosity' and was grateful that she didn't have to haul it somewhere else right now, with these other worries on her mind. Then she had proceeded to offer such a heartfelt apology to Kit that Yakko had actually felt a bit guilty.

Kit had squirmed a bit, but shot him a shit-eating grin when her back was turned; he was out of danger for the moment. Later though, when Ms. Cunningham had gone in the house to get everyone a lemonade, Foghorn told him not to get too cocky; he and Yakko owed him now, wiping the grin off both their faces. He pointed out he could have a change of heart at any time and confess all.

Yakko hardly thought that was fair; if nothing else, they should be even. And he didn't feel like he owed Foghorn that much; he had doubted that even one of the rooster's fantastical stories was going to work on Bugs. He had agreed though; if they did he'd offer up whatever payment Foghorn had in mind.

Thankfully, Bugs hadn't pushed for the truth…much. When Foghorn eventually dropped him off at the rabbit's house, Bugs had come barreling out the front door, raising hell. He had been to the lot to get him, but no sign of the oldest Warner and there was a little rumor going around that he had been spotted sneaking out the parking lot…perhaps with a brown bear. Then he and his mystery partner simply disappeared to parts unknown. Bugs had spent the better portion of his day driving around or calling everyone he knew trying to find Yakko and his mood was decidedly less forgiving than usual…

Yakko had been about to tell him what had happened, thinking it might be wiser to face the music, but Foghorn had jumped in again. The rooster had said he needed to talk to someone, and had been unable to reach Bugs, causing the rabbit to look slightly guilty. Apparently, he had forgotten to charge it and didn't bother to leave his charger in the car. He had been making calls from various payphones around town.

But Foghorn had been able to talk to Yakko, someone he liked and respected as well. And it was perfectly legal for Yakko to be with him; he was a studio chaperone after all. And Yakko was with him now, safe; maybe this one time it would be better not to ask uncomfortable questions that he may not want the answers to.

Bugs hadn't looked convinced and had looked like he wanted to push the issue a lot further than it was obviously going, but finally agreed to not investigate further. Yakko was safe and standing right in front of him, alleviating most of his fears.

Foghorn - who Bugs pointed out hadn't been answering his phone calls or been at his house - wasn't in jail which had been his second fear. With a reluctant sigh, he finally agreed to ask no further questions. He still occasionally would drop a less than subtle hint about how he felt there was some malarkey happening under his nose though.

Foghorn had just said it was something he and Yakko would work out, and he wouldn't say anything further about it.

Looking huffy, Bugs had finally asked about the photographs. Yakko had informed him that the pictures had been of some stars in 'compromising situations', and they had been given to Darkwing, which seemed to please Bugs. Thankfully, Bugs hadn't asked how or where they had run into Darkwing.

Yakko had handed him the photographs of Dot's horse show, telling him to do what he wanted with them, but he personally had no desire to see them again. Yakko was pretty sure that Bugs had them and the negatives destroyed.

Foghorn hadn't said another word about payback the entire week. But whenever he was near Foghorn Yakko had a sneaking suspicion that the rooster was simply biding his time to find the most horrid thing he could think of. But, fair was fair; if the rooster upheld his end of the deal Yakko would be willing to do some sort of repayment with him. Hopefully it wouldn't be something too wretched.

He cut his eyes to Foghorn, slapping his knee in merriment as he, Jeeves, and Bugs laughed about something having to do with Seymour while Ms. Cunningham tut-tutted under her breath and said they were being a bad influence on the children who were listening.

The 'children' being him and Kit obviously; everyone else under the age of thirty was running around the yard playing. Yakko scowled at the reference, but felt his scowl melt into a frown at Foghorn's look.

It was a familiar look, but not one usually directed towards himself.

It was the look that screamed they owed restitution.

Payback for covering their asses, despite the fact they were risking their asses to help him in the first place.

"Yeah, don't wanna - I say - don't wanna be a bad influence on the kiddies," Foghorn said slyly, cutting his eyes in Yakko and Kit's direction while grinning.

Yakko stiffened; he didn't like being referred to as one of the 'kiddies'. If Foghorn had something planned, he was likely to spring it now, in front of everyone when it would do no good for Yakko to protest. Foghorn was devious like that.

Secretly though, Yakko was pleased to see the rooster had returned to his old self. Boisterous, loud, slightly obnoxious…that was the Foghorn everyone knew. And thankfully, the day following the incident down in Natwick, Foghorn had made a surprise visit to Bugs' house, grabbing Wakko and hauling him off to some car store and thrilling the boy.

"Now why would you say that you are a bad influence?" Jeeves asked from behind Yakko, where he was currently leaning against the pillar with his usual air of aloofness. "The children adore you - "

"It's because he and they are on the same brain wavelengths doc," Bugs piped in, never taking his eyes off the paper. "I'm surprised he's not out in the yard chasing them around a tree - "

"Wiseass," Foghorn muttered sourly before beaming again. "Know they adore me - "

"Well I know Kit does," Ms. Cunningham interrupted. "Why he rarely lets anyone touch his bike! When I saw you towing it, I just knew that he had to think the world of you - "

"Laying it on a bit thick," Kit muttered quietly to Yakko.

" - and I can't tell you how much that relieved me," Ms. Cunningham continued to gush. "Like I said, I hate towing that thing, and you fixed it too!"

"Yeah, engine was clogged with bullshit," Kit whispered to Yakko. "Foghorn kept my bike for four days too; said the engine was coated with a lot of gunk."

"Maybe he was actually looking it over," Yakko suggested.

"Nah, he was just being an ass."

Yakko almost choked while trying to restrain his laughter, seeing Foghorn paying attention to them. Luckily they were talking quietly; he doubted Foghorn's hearing was that sharp.

Then again it might be; the rooster had proven before he was no slouch when it came to keeping up with active rambunctious children. Chances were the rooster could read lips. Not to mention Bugs and Slappy both had proven time and again they had eyes in the back of their head. And all of a sudden, he and Kit seemed to be the center of attention.

With that thought, Yakko started to rise. He and Kit would be wise to stay clear of the chicken for the time being, especially since Ms. Cunningham was continuing to talk, this time about how much work Kit's motocross hobby was. Kit was complaining that he was bored and missing yet another 'hot date'.

Yakko was growing bored himself. He had been delighting in the relaxing time he was spending with the others, but was growing restless sitting on the porch. Debating on joining the younger children's game, he looked up and instead spied a tall brunette mink jogging on the sidewalk across the street.

Nudging Kit he asked, "Wanna burn off some excess energy?"

"Ten bucks says she'll want my number," Kit laughed, already eyeing the girl with an appreciative smirk as he smoothed his hair back.

"You already owe me ten bucks," Yakko said.

"Hell no I don't; Darkwing won! He hit Foghorn with his hat!"

"Minor technicality," Yakko said before pushing Kit slightly to the side so he could get a better look at the girl before she disappeared from sight. "Foghorn just…took the high road - "

"He lost - pay up Warner. I'll need the cash to take the mink out."

" - and then we had to drive out to the track yesterday," Ms. Cunningham continued, taking a delicate sip of her water. "Thank goodness I didn't have to take the bike out there. And it was filthy!" She gestured to her Taurus parked on the street. "Just look at my car! And that was only going to the parking lot of the track! Just imagine how disgusting…"

Yakko took a look at Ms. Cunningham's car while she continued to talk. It was pretty gritty looking at the moment, the usual bright crimson-colored paint a muted brown. The windshield had been haphazardly cleaned, probably by an overly-enthusiastic Molly and a bored Kit. All the glass was streaked with dirt and mud and reminded Yakko of when Bugs had planted his SUV in the creek when they went camping. He managed to choke back a laugh while wondering how the Cunningham's had managed to get over to Foghorn's house without getting in an accident.

"She's been complaining about it all day," Kit mumbled, turning to walk towards the street. "Like I knew the lot was going to be a mudfield."

"Be nice and wash it for her," Yakko suggested quietly as he fell into step beside him.

"Me? Wash a car? Don't be dense," Kit scoffed. "I'll spring for a car wash - "

"I think - I say - I think I know a way you can pay me back boys and burn off some of that excess energy."

_Damn._

Yakko looked over his shoulder as a large firm hand clasped down on it and saw Foghorn's face grinning down at him. He shivered slightly, not knowing what was coming, but having a feeling it wasn't going to be anything pleasant. Especially since Foghorn had his other hand clamped down on Kit's shoulder.

"Hey Becky - "

"It's Rebecca!"

" - toss me them keys of yours!" Foghorn ordered.

"My keys?"

"Gonna take care - I say - gonna take care of that dirty car of yours right now!"

Getting a puzzled look on his face, Kit asked, "I didn't mean I wanted to drive it to a wash this minute."

"Who said anything about driving to a car wash?" Foghorn asked. "Got the makings of a fine car wash right here in my yard. Lots of space, plenty of brushes and water and soap and polish…"

_What the hell does that…_

_Oh. _

_Oh boy._

Yakko closed his eyes at Foghorn's words. Of course the rooster wouldn't take his truck to just any old drive through car wash.

No, the rooster lavished too much attention on his truck. And now, he apparently got it in his head that Kit - hopefully just Kit - should lavish that same attention on Ms. Cunningham's rolling mudpie.

Yakko thought quickly, wondering if he was expected to engage in car washing as well. When he had startled Bugs into falling into the creek, Foghorn had…strongly encouraged Yakko to clean Bugs' windshield. Yakko had a feeling that once again he was going to be strongly encouraged to participate in cleaning activities.

"Well…have fun Kit," he said, again trying to pull out of Foghorn's iron grip. He failed. "The car doesn't seem too bad - "

"Oh, doubt it will be, especially with two people doing it," Foghorn said, slightly tightening his grip. "Then you can start on my truck. After that trip the other day, it needs a serious cleaning - "

"Now wait a minute!" Yakko hissed. "Your car and hers? I said I owed ya one, not two - "

"You two said you were bored - "

"Not that bored!" Kit insisted. "I - "

"Now now boys!" Foghorn said jovially, putting an arm around each boy's shoulder. "You were both in for the destruction, so you're in for the restitution." Talking quieter he added, "And think about it boys…you'll be making Becky happy…and Bugs -"

_Christ, Bugs' car too?_

" - and Jeeves and Bernie and Slappy - "

"You've got to be kidding me!" Yakko groaned.

He really wished he had gotten across the street quicker or actually joined the game of tag. Foghorn wouldn't be likely to pull him away from the younger children to have him washing the cars of everyone he knows.

" - and me. Remember boys, keeping me happy keeps my beak shut."

"What about ours?" Kit asked as Ms. Cunningham rummaged through her purse. "You sort of owe us one too! I can - "

"But Becky - I say - Becky isn't likely to sell my beloved bike. You catching my drift boy?" Turning to look down at Yakko he added, "Course, Bugs might yell at me, for a few minutes; don't need him to sign for my license though. Besides, he gets in a bad mood I think I can take him. You got the same confidence son?"

_Hell no I don't._

Yakko sighed. That was a factor to consider; he was only a few months out from getting his license, and Plotz and Bugs had both promised to allow it…if he and his siblings stayed out of trouble. Be a shame not to get it because he screwed up and his siblings actually behaved.

He seriously doubted Bugs would lose his mind and try to mallet him either, but the rabbit had been pissed when he returned to the house after his foray to Natwick. And he had been suspicious; he still was, even with Foghorn covering for him. He was liable to be more pissed if he found out Foghorn and Yakko had deceived him.

Deceived…it sounded so much better than lying. Bugs knew he was being deceived, and Yakko knew that Bugs knew, but like Foghorn said, sometimes, not knowing is actually better. In this case, Bugs had actually agreed, but if he ever did find out…

And worse than him being angry, Bugs might be…disappointed. Yakko shuddered at the thought. He didn't want to have to deal with Bugs expressing 'disappointment' in him again; once in his lifetime was more than enough.

He glanced over at Bugs, who was archly looking at him while dangling his own keys and sighed. Yakko supposed he could wash down his car as well. It would make the rabbit happy.

Besides, the mink was out of sight, and he couldn't exactly go wander the neighborhood looking for her.

Still though, it would be wise to put an end to this. If he didn't, Foghorn might still be trying to collect on this debt when he was of retirement age.

"Fine," Yakko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while Kit muttered foul oaths under his breath. "But this concludes our deal, correct?"

"Consider it paid in full. Was gonna have the boy do it," he added, gesturing towards Wakko. "Gets such a kick out of it. But, got a part in I'm gonna show him on the truck, get to work on that now that our other little problem is outta the way. Besides, having you two do this keeps you from staring down my neighbors." Walking away, he called over his shoulder, "Sorry boys, that girl's not only married, she's old enough to be your mother."

_Well damn._

He watched Foghorn as he collected keys from the other adults, happily talking about how he had wonderful soaps and wheel polishes and Armor All and shook his head in resignation.

The debt would be paid in full. Everyone who needed to stay ignorant of what happened would stay ignorant, saving much unpleasantness for everyone. All parties currently on the property would have clean vehicles. And his brother would get another opportunity to do something car related with his hero, thereby completely snapping him out of his depressed mood and letting things get back to normal.

It wouldn't be relaxing, it wouldn't be fun, and Yakko had a feeling he had just been had by the chicken, but shrugged it off, not wishing for it to ruin everyone's mood.

Hell, even Dot had been in a great mood, despite the fact they were still arguing.

Well, not arguing. He had agreed to think about letting her go back to her horseback riding - once she healed. Dot wasn't happy he was agreeing to think about it.

She should be; before he had talked to Jeeves, he hadn't been willing to even do that. After he had talked to the butler a few times, Yakko knew in the end, he would probably allow himself to be talked into it. He would like some reassurance though that something like this wasn't going to happen again.

Lately though she had stopped pestering about it so much because she had developed a new hobby; she had discovered she liked talking on the telephone. A lot. He had walked into the den a few times to hear her giggling happily while chatting with someone.

When he had asked her why she seemed on cloud nine, she had happily replied she had a new friend…a boy friend. A mature boy who wasn't 'stupid and gross like the other boys, like Wakko and Buster'.

Yakko had blanched at the words. A 'boyfriend'? His little Dot? He was going to have to start intimidating and staring down boys and finding places to hide their bodies now? He thought he'd at least had a couple of years before he had to worry about that…

Then he had calmed down, smacking his head in annoyance.

He doubted at eight she had any serious 'boyfriend'. It was a boy, who was a friend, that was all. And she thought Skippy was mature because he never fought and wanted to play games like she did.

He smirked as he watched her hobble her way around the tree, using her crutch to tag Max while Skippy clapped. Plucky and Wakko both snuck around the tree and pied Skippy, causing him to scream and bringing Slappy's wrath down on them. Porky and Bugs stopped her from joining the game of tag, especially when she began waving her cane in one hand at them while pulling out an unlighted bomb with the other.

Yakko watched as Dot went over, putting one arm around Skippy's shoulder and talking to him in a soothing voice before beginning to wipe pie off him.

Shaking his head, Yakko laughed even as he saw Foghorn coming back toward him and a grumbling Kit with a handful of keys.

OK. He could wash the cars. It appeared he and Kit were even going to be trusted enough to drive the vehicles from where they were parked in the street into the driveway to wash them.

And Dot's 'boyfriend' was probably another little boy like Skippy. She thought all the other boys were gross and dumb. To be fair, most times they were.

He thought he knew all her friends; her closest friend that was a boy was Skippy. He made sure to stay involved in her life; if she knew another boy, he was positive he would be aware of it.

And he was happy to say he wasn't the only one; Bugs and Porky, when they were near her, kept sharp eyes on her as well. Dot was always well protected, even if she didn't realize it.

He grinned to himself. She even wanted to go on a 'date' to the mall sometime soon. That had surprised him; a date? He again told her he would think about it, making her happy. He honestly wanted to know more about this mystery child.

She told him her boyfriend's name was 'Ocho' and said he was a good artist and that he liked her with her ears undone, which explained why she hadn't been wearing a bow in them lately.

Yakko didn't like her ears down; he thought it made her look like she was trying to be older than she was. He had grown a bit worried when she announced she wanted to go buy some makeup; the firm no she got hadn't made her very happy.

When he questioned her about where she had met this 'Ocho' toon; she claimed it was at a function. She wouldn't specify which one and stopped being as forthcoming with details.

He wondered though; the tip of her tail had been twitching the entire time she talked. He wasn't sure if she was lying to him or not; she had no reason to he could see. He was just surprised she had a friend she was close to that he knew nothing about.

She was obviously closer to this kid than Yakko had thought; she even had a few pictures of him that she had happily shown him.

He seemed like a decent looking kid, but someone really needed to tell him and his family to update their wardrobes. The clothing looked old, like something out of the eighties. Yakko had cringed on seeing them; the eighties had enough bad fashion the first time around. None of the fashions really needed to make a return.

But seeing the pictures had relieved him and caused him a small bit of worry, though he couldn't figure out why. The boy was maybe a year or two older than her at most, certainly not a threat. And odds were, if they wanted to go on a 'date' to the mall, this boy's parents would also make an appearance. That eased Yakko's mind; he could ride along and meet this mystery boy and his parents and help chaperone the little 'playdate'.

Still though, odd that he had never seen or heard of this boy before. He was thankful that he wasn't the only one that seemed to have a sense of foreboding with no reason. Bugs had thought it sounded a bit fishy, but said he would go along, as chaperone and as backup if need be.

Not that they were going to need it of course. Two eight-year-olds. Not threatening.

Yakko thought about it for a minute before shrugging.

His little Dot, already turning heads at eight. He sighed; they really did grow up fast. One minute she was declaring she had a boyfriend, the next minute she was whining she wanted to sit in his lap and cuddle. But, if she wanted her playdate, she could have it.

He could let her play pretend.

And he could pretend that he didn't just hear Foghorn say that he expected every single piece of chrome on his truck to be polished.

XXXXXXXXXX

June 25, 1996

_Where is he? Is he going to come? Did I just get…what did Wakko say when Yakko told him to be quiet…_

_I bet he's not coming. Maybe the day is wrong. Or something happened. Or he decided - _

_Stood up! Yeah! That's what Wakko said it was. _

_Have I been stood up? He seemed so sincere…Like he really wanted to meet me, as a friend…_

Dot fidgeted nervously, different scenarios going through her head as she glanced at her watch. Just to make sure the time was right, she even glanced over at the big clock in the middle of the food court.

It was. Ocho was late.

She anxiously looked around, hoping to see a gentle-eyed collie somewhere in the crowd. Maybe he was somewhere in here, with his family, just as nervous and anxious looking for her.

That thought relaxed her slightly and she mentally stopped her tail from twitching all over the bench. There was a lot of people in the mall. And a lot of those people had recognized her, wanting autographs and to talk and say 'hi'.

Normally she didn't mind - no, she never minded. She was ecstatic. Recognition by the fans was something she had always wanted. Now, she had it.

She just wished she didn't have it right now. She was already nervous about meeting Ocho; having people approaching her and asking for autographs or demanding she sing a refrain from 'I'm Cute' was wearing on her last nerves. Someone had even wanted her to dance, despite the fact she was sitting at the table with a big cast on her foot and crutches balanced against the bench. It had taken all her skill and training and a touch of charm to politely turn him down.

She glanced across the food court for a moment, barely registering that yet another fan, a small pig girl with a ponytail was shyly asking for her autograph while her parents stood a few feet behind her.

Dot sighed and signed the proffered piece of paper before looking across the food court again. Bugs was sitting on a bench about ten tables away, reading a newspaper, only occasionally glancing up annoyed. Dot was happy his annoyance wasn't directed at her. No, his annoyance was all directed at Yakko thankfully.

Her brother…she sighed to herself before shaking off her own annoyance with him. She was rather pleased with herself; she didn't think either of them was going to let her sit at the table by herself. But, they had, and it hadn't taken but so much convincing.

Ocho had claimed he was shy, a fact that amazed her. He seemed so…so self assured and confident in his letters and on the phone with her. It seemed so unlikely, but the way he had said it was endearing and cute and had charmed her even more, to know that someone who sounded so poised could be as nervous and bashful as she was.

But claiming he was shy, he had asked if perhaps he could meet her privately. It was enough of a privilege and honor and dream to meet her; he said he was afraid he would be overwhelmed if there were other people there.

She had frowned, trying to think of a way to have that happen. She knew her brother well; there was no way Yakko would let her meet anyone alone, not anyone he had never met anyway. Skippy or Molly or Porky, but not a stranger. Wakko said Yakko was overprotective and a worrier.

Dot sometimes thought the same thing. Just look at Yakko now; he still wouldn't give her a straight answer on if or when she could go riding again. True, she was still in the cast and on crutches, but she wouldn't be in them forever. She wanted to go back to one of her favorite activities. But he wouldn't say yes…but at least he had stopped saying 'absolutely not'. Now it was 'maybe' or 'we'll see' or 'can we talk about this later when I'm not having frightening images replaying in my mind?'

Yes, he was overprotective and a worrier but…

Dot sighed; that was Yakko. It was just part of who he was, just as much as his liking to take pictures or reading anything he could get his hands on. She loved him and was willing to accept what Wakko called his 'annoying quirk'.

Yakko loved them and was just trying to protect them. She could appreciate that, even if she didn't like it or always understand it or even know what he was trying to protect them from.

But on occasion, she saw no reason not to try to…go around the rules.

Wakko did it enough, and with big stuff too. What she was doing was minor. She just wanted to meet a friend without everyone hanging over her. She had overheard Yakko moaning about that to Kit once, that he couldn't even go out on a date without Bugs or Foghorn or Slappy hovering around him, messing up his potential for fun.

And Yakko had said before he didn't want Wakko and Dot to go through what he was having to go through, having such a messed up childhood and teenaged years.

Dot had the feeling she wasn't supposed to have heard that; Yakko had immediately clammed up and shooed her out of the kitchen without explaining what he meant, saying he hadn't been talking to her and she shouldn't have been eavesdropping.

She frowned, remembering that. She hadn't been eavesdropping; all she had wanted was a glass of Kool-Aid.

Ocho had seemed upset when she told him that there was no way that Yakko would allow her to go to the mall by herself. It wasn't like she could anyway; she had to have a chaperone. She couldn't invite Ocho to Bugs' house; when she mentioned maybe doing that, she thought Ocho was going to have a heart attack right there. He said he really liked Bugs on TV but he thought maybe the rabbit might be too intimidating.

Dot felt her frown deepen a bit; even when she explained that Yakko and Bugs were really really nice and not the least bit intimidating, Ocho still didn't want to see them. She hadn't liked that much; she liked having all her friends meet Yakko. She felt lucky to have gotten Yakko for a brother and always liked to show him off.

Not Wakko so much. The first time he had met Webbigail he had tried to burp in her face. She was smart and managed to get away before he was able to, but he laughed about it. Then got all his evil little friends to try to do it.

But, she hadn't asked Bugs beforehand either; he might have said no so it was probably better Ocho didn't want to come there.

Ocho had hinted strongly that he might be too shy and not able to overcome it if Bugs and Yakko were sitting right there beside her. It would be easier for him if she was by herself.

She didn't like it exactly; Bugs and Yakko weren't scary at all. Plus Ocho would be coming with his family; he never said anything about his brothers and parents maybe intimidating her. She didn't point that out though, not wanting to upset Ocho more. He had sounded really upset about not meeting her.

After a bit of thinking, she had finally come up with a reasonable solution. They had to be there; they were going to be there regardless of if she wanted them there or not. But, they didn't need to be right on top of her.

A bit of begging and a lot of pleading and coy wide-eyed looks to Yakko and Bugs had turned things in her direction. Yakko and Bugs didn't have to sit right with her, but near her. Near being the other side of the food court.

That hadn't gone over well. Bugs had stated that he wondered why he had never heard this friend of her mentioned before. He also said he was surprised this friend was so shy he couldn't even meet anyone, but had no problem hanging out in a crowded mall.

Yakko had frowned but hadn't said anything, unusual for him. He had been asking various questions about Ocho too, seemingly obsessed with how she had met him and why she had never mentioned this friend before now. Dot felt bad about lying to Yakko, she really did, but she had the feeling he wouldn't approve.

She knew better; she wasn't supposed to ever call any phone number she saw in a letter. They were supposed to be blacked out, but he had talked to her and Wakko before. Even if it wasn't blacked out for some reason, they were never ever to call. And they were never ever to give out any personal information in letters; no addresses or phone numbers. The fans were to write only to the studio. Yakko, Porky, Bugs; every adult she knew had stressed this to her, and normally she listened. This time she had not and had ignored their rules.

But it was OK, this one time right? Ocho was nice, he had been a source of comfort to her when Yakko was running around doing stuff because that nasty man was saying bad stuff about them and their friends. She was glad whatever Yakko did worked because everyone was happy again.

And now that everyone was happy again, things were going back to normal. And she and Molly had both been approached to do another modeling job, this time in a joint photo with April and another older model, a pretty polar bear named Anastasia.

But, she not only had to get out of her cast in a timely manner, she also hadn't asked Yakko yet, but she bet he would say yes. He had seemed proud of her last few modeling shoots, and he kept every page out of the magazines she was in.

Maybe answering the stuff in the letters wasn't so bad after all. Maybe like Wakko said, maybe Yakko just worried too much sometimes like lots of adults and this was going to be OK.

Not that she could ever tell anyone because if Yakko ever found out…she'd be in big trouble. Probably bigger trouble than Wakko ever got into and he was always into something. But even he never had done that.

Plus, if Yakko ever did find out, he would also have figured out she lied to him…

Dot almost gulped and felt her tail start twitching again at the mere thought. Yakko would be really mad and upset with her, and she usually strived not to get her brother that furious with her. She was rarely in that sort of trouble and she shuddered at the thought of whatever punishment Yakko would give her. She, like Wakko, knew the penalties for disobeying those sorts of rules. And even Wakko hadn't been that foolhardy…yet.

She cast a look over her shoulder at Yakko, momentarily forgetting her annoyance with him and her overwhelming fear he would discover what she had been doing.

He hadn't liked that she wanted to sit at the table by herself, she could figure that out without him having said a word. He looked so…unhappy. But, he seemed unhappy with a lot of this; she had found out he didn't like her wearing her ears down. She had finally put a bow in to make him happy.

But, he hadn't argued, not much anyway. He wanted to sit maybe two tables away at most. After her begging as sweetly as she could and a quick conference with Bugs, Yakko had finally agreed to stay about ten tables away. At most; and was still going to meet this Ocho kid he didn't care how shy he was.

Dot had nodded, pleased. Ocho had said he didn't want anyone else there because he was shy, but they wouldn't be there at the table. He wouldn't be intimidated by the two older stars. He and his family could sit and talk and Yakko and Bugs could come over and then maybe they could go to the arcade or get ice cream.

She smiled; she really liked ice cream and Ocho said he did too. He said he'd really love to see her eating it too, her tiny pink tongue hesitantly darting out before slowly licking around an ice cream cone.

She thought that was kinda odd; she never liked watching boys eat, it didn't matter what kind of food it was. She had asked Wakko if he liked watching girls eat but he had looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she should have asked Yakko.

Dot had asked Molly, who had said it sounded fun, like maybe he wanted to share an ice cream with her. Molly at least hadn't thought her going to see this boy was bad; she was happy. She had shrieked into the phone about romance and fun and maybe she could meet him too. She said she never got to write or call fans back like Dot was doing; her mother always checked her mail.

And Kit had said something before too about how Molly should never call or write back with her home address because there were 'a lot of weirdoes out there that would love to get a hold of cute little girls'. He wouldn't elaborate, but Molly hadn't pushed either. She was just happy her big brother said she was cute.

Dot sighed before looking back at Yakko again.

Yakko had seemed grumpy that she wanted to sit by herself, and he wouldn't get out of site, but he wasn't looking at her at the moment. Right now he was talking to a pretty girl with silvery-blond hair at the ice cream counter. She rolled her eyes; it was OK for him to talk to strangers, but not her.

She told herself again though that Ocho wasn't really a stranger, not anymore. He was a friend now. Annoyed with her brother for being a hypocrite, she reached up and removed the bow and shoved the ribbon in her pocket. She smoothed her ears back like Ocho said he liked to envision them.

Yakko said she was way too young to wear makeup or wear certain clothing. Yakko said she couldn't talk to anyone he hadn't previously met or wasn't in the process of meeting. Yakko wouldn't let her do anything, but he could just wander over to food counters and just talk to whoever he pleased?

Wakko was right on occasion. Yakko was a hypocrite. She and Wakko couldn't just do whatever they wanted, but he could? It wasn't fair. When she met Ocho and introduced Yakko to him, maybe she would tell Yakko how they met. Then he'd see that she wasn't just some little girl and she could too make all these decisions.

He'd see -

A shadow fell over the table, engulfing her and breaking off her thoughts. She looked up, expecting another fan to have emerged wanting another signature or a song. She wished they would leave her alone; Ocho wasn't going to come to the table if it was surrounded by fans.

"Hi Dot!"

She started before blinking, confused for a moment.

This couldn't be…Ocho?

She cocked her head as she stared at the large collie, who looked almost like Ocho had in the pictures. He was a lot taller than she had first thought. A whole lot taller, and older.

She frowned a bit; even with her sitting down and him on the other side of the table, she could tell he was almost as tall as Yakko, and a bit wider than her lanky brother. His fingers, which had looked chubby in the photographs she had seen were longer and more slender, the face more angled than rounded and dotted with horrific acne that was poking up through the thick golden fur. There was even some on his shiny black nose.

Dot dreaded the day she got acne. Yakko got a pimple here and there. He had one on his nose once and said it actually kinda hurt. Wakko and Plucky had laughed at him, but Yakko had just shrugged, saying they'd get theirs one of these days. He only had to wait.

But who was this boy? Ocho's brother maybe? Ocho had two older brothers he had said.

"Hi," she said hesitantly before straining to look around him.

Maybe Ocho was hiding behind one of the big plants that were scattered around as decoration, too shy to emerge and show himself. She relaxed, that was it. He had sent his brother over to see if it was her and to make sure she was friendly before he came over. He had said he was worried about looking like a fool.

"Dot, it's me!"

Wary, Dot snapped her head back around to look up at the tall collie. Staring into his warm gentle eyes and listening to his voice; excited, hesitant, hurt, she felt her face break into a confused but welcoming smile.

It was him.

"Ocho?" She asked hesitantly. At his nod she gave a winning smile before relaxing more. "Ocho!"

She awkwardly stood, using the table to balance herself so she could hug him. She only reached the middle of his chest but she still threw her arms around his waist happily as he bent over to envelope her.

"Oh I'm so happy to see you!" Dot gushed. "I was thinking you weren't going to show - "

"Me not show up to meet you?" Ocho guffawed. "Don't be silly! This is my dream come true!" He looked around hesitantly before saying in a relieved voice, "And you're here all alone, just waiting for me! It's a dream come true; the happiest day of my life!"

She was about to point out Bugs, still hidden behind his newspaper, and Yakko still facing the ice cream counter, his arm casually flung around the pretty girl's shoulders before shrugging. Ocho seemed to relax when he thought she was by herself. She could point them out in a few minutes.

Ocho put his hands around her waist briefly before helping her sit back on the bench. He then sat down beside her and firmly grasped her hands. "You, waiting here for me like this…even with your ears down. You look better than I even imagined like this…"

She watched as he let go of her hand and stroked her ears. She barely managed to refrain from pulling away. Other than Yakko, she didn't like her ears being touched. That was Yakko's thing; not even a friend like Ocho could do it, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"You're so adorable and cute; a hundred times better than on television. Worldly, poised, beautiful…"

Dot batted her eyes and said, "Thanks! You…You're taller than I thought…and older. Like my brother."

"Yeah, about that…" Ocho trailed off, stopping his stroking of her ears to awkwardly scratch his face. "Those pictures, they were kinda old, but all I had to send you." Grasping both her hands again he said, "Please don't be mad! I was going to send some more pictures, more recent, but I hadn't had the chance to get any taken!"

"Oh, it's OK!" Dot insisted, upset that she had distressed him. "I just thought you were…younger."

_A lot younger._

Despite her delight at finally meeting Ocho face-to-face, and her flattery that an older boy - a boy Yakko's age - liked her so much, she was confused.

Yakko liked her friends. Despite his constant gripping about her constant hyperness, she knew he really liked Molly. He liked Webby. He even liked Wakko's friends like Babs and Elmyra and they were older than her.

But, he didn't like them like this. He didn't like them enough to want to watch them eat ice cream, or he never said he did. He liked taller girls too, older girls, the kind that wore heels and short skirts and makeup and were already 'developing' like Lisa said. Babs, the tallest of the girls, even despite her ears still only came up around Yakko's chin.

Yakko picked some really stupid girls to like sometimes, but he always seemed to like older girls. Not younger ones.

Maybe Yakko was a snob, to not like younger girls like Ocho did.

Dot shook her head; Yakko could never be considered a snob. But, he was always looking at her like some little girl. Not Ocho though; he had said he thought she was really mature and could make up her own mind about what she wanted.

She repressed all the confusing thoughts and feelings, and the slight feeling that something wasn't quite right about this situation. Ocho was not what she had been expecting, true, but he was still Ocho, still the same friendly open boy she chatted secretly to on the phone all the time.

"I knew you'd understand!" Ocho beamed. "So mature…it's one of the things that attracted me to you."

"Oh you too," Dot gushed. "It was so nice to talk to you, because you're so understanding about…everything! I mean I can't talk to any other boys about the stuff I talk to you about," she explained. "They never would listen to me…well, except Skippy."

Skippy, who was upset she was going to meet this boy. When Dot had told Skippy about Ocho, he had seemed upset. He had said he was going to tell his aunt too, but Dot and Molly managed to talk him out of it. If Slappy found out, she might tell Yakko. That would be bad for her.

"You can talk to me about anything," Ocho said, releasing her hands to gently grasp her face.

Dot gently tried to pull her head away. Another thing she hadn't been expecting about Ocho; he was grabby.

"So, are you going to be doing that ad?" Ocho asked, still stroking her face.

"I…haven't asked Yakko yet," Dot confessed.

That was another thing about Ocho, he seemed interested in her modeling, which was nice. Wakko and his friends were always bored when they heard about it.

"You should…I'd love to see some new pictures of you," Ocho grinned. "Heck, I'd love to take some pictures of you."

"You can take some now, if you want," Dot offered, grinning at him. "If you brought a camera - "

Ocho threw back his head and laughed before saying, "Oh Dot, you daring naughty girl!"

Dot blinked at him, confused. What was bad about that? She looked around her but saw nothing unusual. Maybe he didn't bring a camera after all.

"Or you could draw some," she offered helpfully, feeling a grin split her face. She wasn't sure why Ocho was laughing at her suggestions, but he seemed so delighted with them that his good mood was spreading to her.

"It's too crowded here for that silly girl." Looking deep into her eyes he added, "And I want to get to know more about you. Like all of you, without prying eyes getting in our way."

Dot wasn't interested in leaving; she glanced over her shoulder again.

Bugs was near Yakko now, roughly poking him in the shoulder. She shrugged; Bugs never liked the girls Yakko picked out any more than she did. But, if he was going to yell at Yakko about the newest girl that caught his eye, then he wasn't going to be bothering her about Ocho. For now. She was going to have to come up with a good reason why Ocho didn't look like he did in the pictures she showed them.

Darn, which meant probably lying again. She hated doing it the first time. That was the problem with lying though wasn't it? One lie could turn into two, then three, then who knows how many?

She pushed it out of her mind for the moment; Ocho was gazing at her like she was a glamorous movie star, and she felt all her worry disappear about Yakko and Bugs and even Ocho and his oddities. He phrased things weird, but he was OK. And, baring the acne, was really good looking.

She couldn't wait to tell Molly and Webby about this. And Skippy; Wakko was right, maybe Skippy was a drip, worrying about nothing.

"Like what?" Dot asked innocently.

"Like…what do you like for breakfast?" Ocho asked, rubbing her cheek before resting a hand on her knee, right over her cast. "I'm hoping I - "

"Know what I'm hoping?" A familiar voice asked behind them. "I'm hoping you're this kid's older brother and not this Ocho character."

Dot stiffened at the statement before slowly and fearfully turning around in her seat.

Yakko, looking…what? Furious? Enraged? Confused? Resigned? What? She had never seen that look on his face before, at least not directed towards her. He never even looked at Wakko like that, even when he was mad beyond belief at him.

He was standing by their table, his arms crossed and one eyebrow cocked as he gazed down at them. Directly behind him was Bugs, also with arms crossed and tightly gripping his newspaper with enough force it was bending in half.

_Oh darn…_

" - and I just know you're not the kid I saw in that picture," Yakko continued on.

"Y-Y-Yakko!" Dot stammered, pulling away from Ocho who was radiating disappointment and worry from his every pore. Telling herself to stop stuttering like Porky and almost grabbing her tail to hold it still she added, "Um…I'd like you to meet Ocho - "

"Charmed," Yakko drawled in a voice Dot didn't recognize. He gave Ocho a chilling smile that didn't reach his eyes and stated, "You're the biggest eight-year-old I've ever seen."

"Yeah doc," Bugs chimed in behind him. Directing his gaze towards Dot he added, "Funny Yakko; think you would have remembered a giant eight-year-old at one of the functions."

"You'd think it would be memorable wouldn't you?" Yakko answered, never taking his eyes off Ocho.

"Can't say I've seen many kids that age with a case of acne that bad either - "

"Move away from my kid sister pussface," Yakko said evenly, not taking his eyes off Ocho.

"Yakko!" Dot gasped. "Don't be mean to him!" And she had worried about Wakko being rude! "You get acne too - "

"I'm supposed to; I'm not eight," Yakko sighed in an exasperated manner. "And ya know what? I get the feeling he hasn't seen eight in a while either." Slamming his hands loudly on the table, he leaned over so he was in Ocho's face and asked, "So, how old are you…kid? Or should I be asking how old those pictures you sent were?"

Ocho backed fearfully into the bench, one hand gripping it while the other went back to Dot's knee. She was still frozen in shock at Yakko and Bugs' rudeness, but she managed to regain enough decorum to put her hand briefly on Ocho's hand in a comforting manner.

Yakko let out a low sounding growl that started deep in his throat at seeing Ocho's hand on her knee. Before Dot could even respond and tell Yakko his behavior was bordering on insane, Bugs stepped back in.

"Yakko, calm down," Bugs said quietly. "We don't need to attract attention." He firmly put his hand on Yakko's shoulder, pulling him back in the standing position before directing a look at Ocho that showed pretty clearly he wasn't interested in meeting him either. "Though I agree with one of your previous statements doc; probably should continue this conversation elsewhere. All of us."

Dot looked over at Ocho, who seemed scared. Not that Dot blamed him, Yakko and Bugs were being nasty to him, and for no reason. Yes, she had lied about how she met him, and yes he was a bit older than she had previously said, but that was no reason to be rude to him.

Ocho asked in an offhand manner, "How do you know what I - "

"Long ears," Bugs answered tightly. "I hear a lot…a whole lot. Notice a whole lot too…might wanna remove that hand from her. Trust me, you don't want to see how I'll remove it doc."

Both of Ocho's hands shot back to the top of the table and Dot looked at Yakko and Bugs' in shock.

Next time she wanted to meet anyone, boy or girl, she was having Porky take her. Porky was never rude, not that Yakko and Bugs usually were. She had never been embarrassed by them, not once. She always wanted everyone she met to meet Yakko, but not anymore.

She felt tears spring to her eyes as her anger and confusion grew. She didn't have a lot of friends and she clung to everyone she had dearly. But she was always open to making new friends, friends that wanted to be her friend because of her, not because of what she was or who she knew.

And now they were ruining it by being mean and rude and scaring Ocho. She was going to lose a friend because of them. What if they started acting that way to Molly, or Skippy or Webby? Didn't they want her to have friends? It wasn't like Yakko was around a whole lot lately - so she made a new friend? Was it that big a deal? Did he have to act like a jerk?

"Yakko," she pleaded, hoping that sweetly begging her brother to behave himself would get him to listen to reason. "Yakko, please - "

"Quiet Dorothy," he snapped, as he shook Bugs' hand off his shoulder. "You're in enough trouble right now."

He directed a terrible look towards her as he put his fist to his mouth when he again looked at Ocho. Dot shrunk back in her seat, wondering what happened to her real brother because this monster wasn't her loving doting older sibling. And she knew his mannerisms well. Like Wakko said, when Yakko's fist went to his mouth, it usually meant his foot was going to go up someone's ass. It just usually wasn't her.

She hoped she wasn't going to get a spanking, or grounded, or have to do a bunch of extra chores; that was Wakko's department, not hers. She had a hard time not bursting into tears when Yakko sent 'The Look' towards her. If he actually yelled at her or got angry at her for some reason she never knew what to do.

But, she probably just broke more rules than Wakko ever did, at least at one time. Maybe he wouldn't punish her too harshly; after all, she was still in the cast. She took another look at his face and hoped she was correct; he didn't look very happy with her at all.

After a few uncomfortable seconds, he took a breath and crossed his arms again, seeming to make an effort to control himself. Dot glanced over at Ocho, who seemed to be smirking and she raised her eyebrows. The way he had talked before, he practically passed out if he met someone he was so nervous. She figured he would be cowering under the table now.

"So, wanna tell me how you really met Romeo here?"

Dot opened her mouth to speak, not sure of what to say to Yakko. It wasn't supposed to go like this, she thought she was going to have time to introduce Yakko to him. Instead she was cowering in terror on a bench in the food court.

And if Ocho said the wrong thing, Yakko was going to figure out that she hadn't met him at a function. She started to stammer out a reply and try to plead her case but he beat her to it.

"Think real hard before you speak. And if you even think of lying to me and telling me some shit about a function - "

"Yakko, doc, you're confusing her and attracting an audience," Bugs said quietly. "Not the place, trust me. Keep calm - "

Yakko hissed out something to Bugs that sounded like, 'he's the same damn age I am!' before the rabbit put a hand over his mouth and muttered, 'let me take care of it'.

"Yeah…Yakko," Ocho said, finally speaking. "Don't want to attract attention do you?"

Dot blinked, surprised that Ocho spoke, but happy he did. She knew he could speak, if given some time. She was almost proud of him; he wasn't backing down, he was standing up to her bully of an older brother.

"You guys just got the publicity off you; don't want to draw that back - "

Bugs grasped Yakko's arm, hard, to hold him back while directing a cold look towards Ocho.

"Might be wise if you left, now, before I slip and let rabid older brother go. Oh, and forget any number you were previously calling to talk to Dot doc," Bugs advised, still holding onto Yakko's arm. "You don't want to see what I'll do to the pieces of you that are left after this one gets done with you."

Dot was staring at everyone; Ocho, seeming smug and self assured as he glanced around. Yakko, livid. Bugs, a mixture of anger and…something else that Dot couldn't pick up.

She couldn't take her eyes off them. The food court, the toons and noises and smells of all the food cooking blurred out around her as everyone at the table went silent and they stared at each other like they were sizing up opponents.

This was all too weird; she knew Yakko would be angry if he found out what she had done, but she honestly hadn't thought he'd be this angry. And not Bugs, not like this.

Yakko appeared to be getting himself under control, or struggling to anyway. With a look, Bugs finally let him go and Yakko stood by the table, glaring at Ocho with a look of deepest loathing. Every now and then he would dart his eyes towards Dot while tapping his finger on the table in annoyance.

This didn't bode well for her. Bugs seemed mostly in control of his anger though; Dot nodded to herself, deciding to take a page out of Wakko's book. Try to stay a good distance away from Yakko until he calmed down. She was confident Bugs would protect her.

"Dorothy, get your crutches, we're leaving."

Dot turned a confused yet annoyed glare towards her brother before slowly reaching for the crutches, sending a sympathetic look at Ocho. She might have to leave and Yakko might kill her, but she didn't have to be in a hurry to get to her own funeral.

"Now!"

Dot started at his barking order, but quickly grabbed the crutches. There was no reason to make him angrier than he already was, and his order had attracted some attention. Even over the low din of conversation in the food court, his voice had carried enough to cause several people to turn in their direction and look at them.

Ocho was standing too, looking smug but slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry," Dot said to him. "I'm not sure what - "

"Dorothy…don't…don't talk to him," Yakko ordered in a funny quiet voice. "Just, step away from him. I don't want you anywhere near his type."

Dot frowned but did as she was told, hoping that compliance now would bring about some leniency later and she could maybe find out what her brother was so furious about. This was going beyond his normal anger over some rule breaking.

"It's not your fault Dot," Ocho said grandly, offering a small bow to her.

Dot reached Bugs' side, giving a wide berth to her brother. Bugs didn't seem too angry; he even put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze before saying they would all have a long talk later about this.

Yakko though seemed to be relieved as he looked over his shoulder at her, as if confirming to himself that she was right there and in Bugs' arms. She relaxed a little and even shot him a small hesitant smile; maybe he wasn't really too mad. Maybe he just wanted to meet Ocho face-to-face.

She grinned to herself; he was gonna behave, he was going to introduce himself properly after all. Maybe they would all go get ice cream after this and everyone would have a good afternoon and she could figure out what Ocho meant by wanting to cook her breakfast. Maybe he wanted to meet her early again tomorrow?

Ocho though was now standing and looking at her. With a toothy grin, he turned to look at Yakko and asked, "What, I don't get a good-bye kiss?"

Dot raised her eyebrows as Yakko, amazingly, grinned back, almost looking like her usual, fun, doting brother.

Yakko cheerfully answered, "Not gonna get one from her; how about one from me?"

Dot frowned, confused for a moment at the statement. She didn't even have time to figure out why Yakko wanted to kiss Ocho. Even Ocho looked confused at the statement.

Yakko's face though went from grinning to determined as he balled his fist, pulled his arm back and swung, landing a solid punch right in Ocho's face. Dot watched in horrified fascination as the world went into slow motion; Yakko's fist connecting, the sickening sound of Ocho's muzzle crumbling before he flew backwards, his butt landing in a chair before he and it tumbled backwards to the hard floor.

"Pow! Right in the kisser!"

"Damn it Yakko!" Bugs, still holding on to Dot's arm leaned over and smacked Yakko on the head with his newspaper before he could continue his cheer. Before Yakko could even react Bugs hit him again, harder, then grasped his arm too.

"What?" Yakko asked, batting his eyes in innocence at the rabbit. Then he shook his hand and let out a hiss of pain before adding in a low groan, "Ow I think I broke my knuckles - "

"I'm gonna break your neck!" Bugs muttered, tightening his grip on his arm. "What were you thinking? Don't answer doc," Bugs warned when Yakko went to open his mouth. "Just don't."

Dot struggled to close her mouth before her jaw was permanently stuck in the open position. Her brother just…just…just punched somebody. One of her friends. Yakko never hit anyone, ever. She was barely aware that Yakko knew how to make a fist.

She had seen Yakko pie people, threaten to mallet them, he could make someone cry with just words if he really wanted to, but never resort to physical violence like this. She knew the humans did of course; the humans couldn't pull mallets or pies or bottle of seltzer water. Toons could, and always considering themselves a bit more refined, never threw punches. The boys fought all the time and she had never seen them hit each other like that, though she had heard a couple of times they had gotten angry enough they wanted to.

Ocho was lying in the middle of the food court, holding his muzzle and swearing violently. Dot raised her ears to listen; even Wakko and Max together probably didn't know some of those swear words.

Bugs started to turn towards the exit before looking back down at Ocho with a look of distain.

"Like I said doc, forget about Dot, forget any number you called her on."

"I'm gonna call the cops," Ocho swore, shakily standing while holding his muzzle. "Sue the shit out of - "

"You do that - "

"It'll be worth it," Yakko said over his shoulder. "I'll pay double if I can hit him again - "

"Be quiet Yakko," Bugs ordered before talking to Ocho again. "Somehow, I doubt you'll get much sympathy for getting your tail handed to you for trying to hook up with his kid sister."

"You don't sca-"

"You're a bit old to be playing with the kindergarten crowd doc," Bugs said quietly, so quietly that Dot had to raise her ears as much as she could to hear him. "Best advice I can give is to go home and forget all this, Dot, Yakko, me, this mall." He sighed loudly before adding, "If you do, I can forget too, and I won't have to make some phone calls to my own friends, friends that tend not to like guys that can't date within their own age group."

"You're threatening me?" Ocho asked, woozily leaning against a table. "Can't wait to go to the papers with that, major star bullying underage - "

"Minor technically," Bugs waved him off while ignoring the curious looks of the mall patrons. "And it's not a threat doc, just good advice. And remember, you're the one trying to pull a little girl away from her tea parties and dolls to do…well." Bugs looked down at Dot and shrugged. "We'll see who comes out looking better in the papers after that gets out. Your call though."

With that, Bugs grimly picked up Dot while thrusting her crutches into Yakko's startled arms, telling him to carry them and to try to stay out of trouble on the short walk to the car.

Dot strained to look over Bugs' shoulder. Yakko was marching beside him, still looking furious but with a fairly pleased air coming from him regardless. Behind them, Ocho was gingerly feeling his muzzle while several people were watching all of them in open-mouthed astonishment.

Confused, Dot blinked and settled down in Bugs' arms, deciding to stay quiet for the moment.

It wasn't a very successful meeting, but it had been memorable. Molly was gonna love this story, if she was going to be allowed to talk to anyone ever again.

Though this probably wouldn't be the best time to ask Yakko if she could do another magazine ad for 'The Diamond Tiara'.

_End Chapter 36_


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 37 - Mulligans

_Grounded - for the next fifty years…no… a hundred years! _

_Seems like that would be illegal._

_If it is, it shouldn't be._

_That might be a little extreme._

_Give her a spanking worse than anything she ever dreamed of - _

_I need to talk to her. She's confused and scared - _

_She lied to me! She knows better! Wakko wouldn't sit for a week if he pulled some lamebrain stunt like this!_

_Wakko, amazingly, didn't do it though; Dot did. _

_How could she have been so stupid? She knows she's never to call any of those numbers! How many times have I stressed to her and Wakko to never talk to strangers?_

_But she talks to fans; they're strangers - _

_That's different! In supervised situations with an adult there! Not some random weirdo that somehow, despite all the precautions in place, still managed to slip through and reach her._

_What if we hadn't been there or not paying enough attention? That creep could have just oozed off with her to do - _

_Don't think about it. Just don't think about that._

_She said she was lonely; you were ignoring her lately -_

_Still no excuse. Even Wakko - Wakko! The one who seems to go around almost looking for rules to break - hasn't broken that one!_

_That you know of. _

_I'll talk to him again too…just to be on the safe side. _

_Good idea. It's pretty obvious the first few talks didn't sink in with Dot._

_OK, got to think. Can't treat her different than I would Wakko if he had done this; that's not fair. She broke the rules; she's got to be punished._

_Yeah, how you gonna mange that Einstein?_

_I'll manage…though I wonder how well she's gonna be able to do extra chores on crutches lugging around a cast?_

_Well, we're gonna find out._

_But…she's…I can't…_

Yakko groaned to himself as all those ridiculous thoughts and potential punishments and ideas crashed around in his head, feeling himself get more upset and angry as the moments passed. He was actually arguing with himself.

But, getting upset or more angry than he was already wasn't going to help the situation any. He needed to think clearly. So, he had to calm down.

He put his fist to his mouth briefly, wincing as his sore knuckles came into contact with his face as he glared out the window of the den. He had been in there almost thirty minutes now, trying to calm down enough that he could talk to her and not sound deranged.

She was terrified, he knew that. He had barely said a word to her after leaving the mall. He had managed to find out that the perv hadn't touched her, sending him into a relieved slump in Bugs' front seat.

Then he had finally discovered the mystery of how she had managed to meet Ocho, angering him.

She knew better; he had had this conversation with her several times, her and Wakko. The studio routinely checked their mail, and while thorough, they did occasionally miss things. Yakko always took their mail and checked it as well before giving anything to Wakko or Dot. He didn't distrust the people checking mail, but things could be missed. Or something they thought was appropriate he didn't agree with, but the same could be said about a lot of the children's mail. Ultimately, it was up to the parent or guardian to judge what they thought was appropriate for their children to view.

But, in the rare unlikely instance that something was still missed entirely, Yakko had wanted to stress just how important it was to both his siblings that they never call or give out personal information in the letters, be it theirs or one of their friends. It was a talk that all parents of young stars had with their children.

And in this instance this Ocho character's number had been missed; hell, a whole unopened number with a drawing on it apparently. This was why he had had the conversations he had with his siblings, for this one-in-a-million chance.

And now…what was he supposed to do? Dot had missed a bullet, but it was a bullet she wasn't even aware had been fired in her direction. While he was going to yell at her - probably not as much as he should - and punish her - also not as much as he should - he didn't want to frighten her needlessly. She was young, too young to have those nightmares floating around in her head, but he wanted her to be aware of what types of people were out there. But if he approached it wrong, she would be too scared to leave the tower, let alone do her job or meet fans or do anything she enjoyed doing.

But, Bugs was right. First he had to calm down or all he was going to do was yell. Yakko knew he had a tendency to get very angry when he reached his breaking point, but he also knew he tended to cool down fairly quickly.

If given the chance to cool down. Hence his own banishment to the den by Bugs, to think and calm down and if nothing else try to get the swelling in his knuckles to go down some. His hurt hand wasn't helping his mood any.

Sighing, he reached for his ice pack on the table, resting it on his knuckles before rotating his shoulders. He rarely threw punches; he was barely aware how to physically fight. In hindsight he really should have just flattened him with his mallet.

But no, he had to go all Ali on his ass; he hoped to God that he hurt Ocho's face half as much as he hurt his hand.

Bugs had had a field day with that. He hadn't yelled too much at Yakko for his pugilist impression thankfully. Yakko looked down at his swollen knuckles and sighed; he definitely wasn't going to be looking at boxing as a viable career option. Bugs had suggested that if he intended to do that again he go get some advice from Foghorn because he was surprised that Yakko hadn't broken his hand.

Poor Bugs; Yakko had to pity the rabbit and wondered idly if he was ever going to get tired of the antics of the Warners. Bugs had been a mixture of amused and annoyed, with a dash of worry about any new potential stories that could come from this. Plus he had the added concerns of the danger Dot had unknowingly put herself in.

The rabbit was angry at Dot certainly, but he had at least managed to stay his cool level-headed self, or enough so that he was able to stop Yakko from going back in the mall to find Ocho for a second round. Yakko had to say he wasn't in the mood to listen to the rabbit at the mall, and he knew he wouldn't have been very receptive to anything Bugs would have to say in the car.

He was even willing to admit that he probably wouldn't have been receptive to anything Dot had to say either. He had almost bit his tongue off twice just in the parking lot, but even in his anger conceded that Bugs had a point. Screaming and hollering might vent some of his anger and worry over the 'what-if' scenarios, but it wasn't going to get to the root of the problem.

So, other than a few terse words to Dot to assure himself that the creep hadn't actually gotten to the point of doing more than meeting her and confusing her with some phrases that Yakko was not looking forward to explaining, he hadn't said anything. Bugs had gotten out of her how she met her teenage wanna-be Lothario, at least saving Yakko the effort of asking himself.

Yakko had contented himself with fuming in the front seat and constantly turning around to assure himself that she was safe in the back seat. With them…He could only imagine what Ocho wanted to do with her in a backseat.

Luckily, when they reached the house Yakko had calmed down just enough to choke out one order. He had sent Dot to the bedroom she was staying in in a civilized manner.

Barely. The order had been along the lines of 'get up to your room and if you dare even think of leaving before I tell you to…'

The order, growled as it was, had been enough to get his point across. Dot had flown up the stairs pretty swiftly considering she had a broken leg, blinking back tears. And she hadn't made a peep since then, which showed she had some brains when she chose to use them.

And now, she waited. Waited to hear what punishment was going to be handed out and no doubt waiting for some explanation as to why he was so angry.

With a frustrated sigh, he flopped down on the couch, running his unhurt hand through his hair. Once again, he was going to have to be the bad guy. He was angry at her, furious even. She had broken one of the major rules; not only his own, but the studio's as well. Plus she had lied to him.

But most of his anger was directed elsewhere.

He was angry at the situation, only partially of her making. She only saw a friend getting punched in the face by her older brother. She had no idea what Ocho had wanted to do with her, and Yakko wasn't looking forward to explaining that; he wasn't sure he was going to, not right now even though he knew she was going to be full of accusations and questions. He knew he wasn't going to want to eat ice cream or frozen custard anytime soon. He had given an involuntary shudder when Dot had managed to squeak that out to Bugs in the car. That jackass had even managed to ruin breakfast for him.

He was angry that the scripts frequently showed Dot in a more mature light than she was. The jokes they made on the show, while never requiring censorship, bordered on the line. He briefly remembered the 'fingerprint' joke from their first season and sighed. The joke had gone over her head, and still did now. Wakko was at the age where he was starting to understand some of the innuendo, but a lot still soared over his head. To this day he still wondered how that managed to make it through the censors.

He would speak to Bugs later; perhaps the rabbit would have an idea of what - if anything - could be done about that. If anyone would know, he would. Maybe a few scripts showing Dot in a different light, focusing more on her cute, innocent, eight-year-old self, would stop the rampaging fan boys. Ocho wasn't the only one out there like that.

He was angry that there were people out there like Ocho to begin with, people that looked at Dot as something besides the little girl she really was. Ocho was cut from the same cloth as the weirdos that lusted after Babs and Fifi. Any of those people gave Yakko the creeps. As it was, the encounter with Ocho made him want to go take a long hot shower.

Yakko closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, struggling to control himself. Half of him wanted to run upstairs and assure himself, again, that she was safe and sound. The other half of him wanted to go up there and shake her senseless.

He had talked to Kit about this type of situation, though he had been offering the cub some comfort at the time. Kit had had his first horrifying adult experience with what the toons jokingly referred to as 'furries'.

The term 'furry' had been around ToonTown for ages and never failed to bring knowing smiles and eyerolls from adults and looks of confusion from the younger children. Children rarely saw beyond the hilarity of the silly costumes, and most adults were smart enough to keep the younger children away from those types.

In the human species, there was a special breed of people that liked animals a lot. A whole lot. Enough so that they would dress like them, pretend to be the animal of choice, make up names for themselves and do all manner of acts dressed up. Some even went so far to dress up like their favorite cartoon star, provided it was of an animal breed.

Most toons thought it was ludicrous but shrugged it off, simply seeing it as yet another odd human quirk and tried not to paint all humans with the same brush. As a whole, most humans didn't have this particular quirk, and ninety-percent of the ones who did were having harmless, if a bit weird, fun. Yakko had always thought them hysterical when he chanced to spy one; they looked odd in costume and it wasn't Halloween or for a job or anything. They wanted to dress like that.

What made it even funnier was that some of the humans had heard the term 'furry' from the toons. Now these humans in this special class had taken to referring to themselves as 'furries'. The 'furries' didn't seem to realize that it was a derogatory term; they actually seemed proud to be referred to as such and would preen as they awkwardly swung fake tails or patted down false ears and took pride in their 'fursonas'.

The cub had seen a human dressed as a skunk walking down West Alameda Avenue months ago and had promptly had a hysterical laughing fit. He had said it was great, now that he was finally old and knowing enough to understand all the nuances of the culture, thanks to a long but awkward conversation with Ms. Cunningham. A conversation that he had happily and promptly shared every detail of with Yakko, amusing him. Now that he finally understood the whole mystery surrounding 'the furries', he found them more hilarious than normal.

He was pleased too. At some point his curiosity about the entire culture would have made him go ask Bugs, and he could only imagine what that conversation would have been like. Awkward wouldn't begin to cover it.

Apparently, the furries enjoyed getting together with like-minded individuals and had huge parties and celebrations, some even so large they had to rent convention centers out.

While Kit had certainly thought the idea and concept was as hysterical as anyone else, his laugher had died the moment he saw a female dressed as a golden bear cub, complete with panties sticking out from underneath her shorts and fake bear muzzle. What had distressed him most was only seeing her from the rear at first. He had remarked to his mother that there was a few furries running around, then pointed to one girl and stated that at least that one had a nice ass, earning himself a pop on the head.

Ms. Cunningham had shaken her head at the time, wondering what went through some people's minds. Kit had said he was about to make a comment, but froze when the girl turned around and he, along with his mother, had both gotten a good long look at the girl and her outfit.

When they had recovered from their shock enough to realize it was supposed to be Molly, Kit claimed that he had dry heaved onto the floor board of the car. He also said the dry heaves almost became sobs when he had seen a human decked out as a cat come and kiss the girl passionately while grabbing at different parts of her body.

His mother had almost wrecked into a light pole and he was actually responsible for probably saving that girl's life. Ms. Cunningham, upon regaining her composure, had been revving the engine and making a beeline towards the girl in an attempt to run her over.

The entire idea that someone would look at Molly as anything other than a nine-year-old sent Kit into a dark rage. Despite his complaints about how much of a pest she was, Kit was as fiercely protective of her as Yakko was of Dot. Kit would ram his bike down someone's throat if they looked at Molly the way Ocho had been looking at Dot.

Not that Yakko had done much different.

Ocho was worse than a furry; he was a child molester in the making. The furries were boinking each other's brains out while dressed like animals, but at least they were consenting adults. He hoped; Yakko decided to just push the whole furry culture out of his mind. The whole toon culture was more than enough for him to handle at the moment without delving into the psyche of lunatics.

Kit had told him he thought he spotted a few adults running around dressed like the three Warners, but he wasn't sure since he was busy restraining his mother. After thinking about it again, Yakko definitely decided to push it out of his mind forever. Once he got his license, he did not want his first act to be calling Ms. Cunningham and arranging a time to go run over the next furry convention that came to town.

While Kit would be properly horrified at what happened - and what could have happened - he would get a chuckle out of the idea of Yakko punching someone. He had wanted to do it himself but hadn't had the opportunity since he had been busy restraining his mother.

Yakko had to admit that he hadn't consciously done it; it was an immediate reflex to the request for a good-bye kiss that had sent him over the edge. Ocho was looking at Dot like Yakko would look at…well, a girl. A girl well within his age group.

He was angry at Dot, not only at what she did, but just the fact she was growing up. Not even that; the fact that she was trying to grow up so fast. She was eight; she should be playing at tea parties and dolls and whatever else little girls did.

Yakko sighed; no more dates - play or otherwise - for her. She could date when she was thirty, well past the age that Ocho and people of his ilk would be interested in her. He could keep her locked in the tower like Rupunzel until then. Thank goodness she like her hair cut short.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, not wanting to admit it but unable to stop himself.

One of the people he was angry at was himself. Despite his and the studio's best efforts, something had gotten through that shouldn't have. He should have skimmed the letters better - hell, she claimed it had been an unopened letter. He definitely should have noticed that. No, she shouldn't have disobeyed him, but if he had noticed it this wouldn't have become an issue because it would never have ended up in her hands.

He should have been paying closer attention, not only to the letters, but at the mall. But, once again he had gotten distracted by a pretty face and had been busy flirting with the girl at the counter and ignoring what was happening around him. Bugs was there as backup thankfully and caught everything, but still, he would have to make a concentrated effort to keep his head in the game, at least around Dot.

He had managed to ask the girl for a date, but unfortunately, with Dot's current misbehavior, he was going to postpone that, at least for the time being. Since they were staying at Bugs' house, if he had any intention of punishing Dot, he was going to have to hang out as well. Bugs, for all his big words and experience with children, turned into a real sucker when it involved Dot.

That was the bad thing about grounding his siblings; he had to stick around to make sure it was enforced, thereby punishing himself as well. He was startled when he realized and made a mental note to rectify that situation as soon as possible.

He would speak to Bugs; if he decided to go out with her he would have to stress to the rabbit that Dot wasn't to use her powers of cuteness and charm on him. She was grounded, she was to stay grounded whether he was in the house or not. Especially this time; she was not worming her way out of this.

Yakko believed that Bugs would follow through. Not only was the rabbit as angry and concerned as he was, he had never really tried to undermine Yakko's authority. He helped out, he suggested - sometimes strongly - he advised or tried to guide, but in the end, whether he agreed with a decision Yakko made or not, Bugs had almost always stood behind him.

He wasn't sure exactly what his decision was going to be, but he supposed he had let her sit up there anxiously awaiting him long enough. Time to get up there and just figure out what happened and go from there. He supposed some sort of punishment was in order; a month's grounding ought to do it.

He'd go in a few minutes; he should probably talk to Bugs first, if nothing else to let the rabbit know he wasn't about to bite anyone's head off. Bugs had practically booted his ass into the den and locked him in when they got to the house, which, in hindsight, had probably been a wise rabbit had groused that now he had to do 'damage control' on top of scheduling some appearance or another for his upcoming move in-between bitching at Yakko for punching Romeo at the mall.

Yakko sighed, standing and flexing the fingers of his sore hand before giving a small, self-satisfied smirk.

He hoped there were no repercussions from his decking Ocho, though he doubted he would be that fortunate. Bugs had been ranting about a photographer in the mall he knew and he hoped he could convince him to put a lid on this before anything came of it. Bugs said a few phone calls or favors turned in now could avoid a problem down the road; that had actually been one of the things Bugs had lectured him on.

Thinking ahead; Yakko had to say that was one thing he rarely got told. He let Bugs lecture for a few minutes though since it seemed to make him so happy. Besides, he managed to pick up a few good things and filed them away for later lectures of his own.

But as far as any negative press, Yakko had to be honest with himself and admit while it was slightly worrying, he honestly didn't care. If there was some sort of repercussion, he would deal with it. They had managed to finally kill all the previous bad press; none of their names were in the paper at the moment.

Right now in the papers the current hot scandal involved Trix Rabbit and Tony the Tiger. In an interview inside the mental ward of Panic Pen, he admitted to hiring Tony the Tiger as a personal heavy. He had been able to gorge himself on as much Trix as his heart desired despite the clause in his contract saying 'no Trix' since he had Tony going around and threatening everyone for it. Tony got his Frosted Flakes and Trix Rabbit said it stood to reason that he would be able to do the same for the cereal he craved so much. After all, what sane being – toon or otherwise – was going to say no to a growling, seven-foot-tall talking tiger?

No one had known at the time that Tony was going around hijacking trucks delivering the cereal. When the two were finally caught, authorities found four missing trailers filled to the rafters with boxes of Trix and had no less than nineteen witnesses to the crime.

So now Tony was in Panic Pen awaiting trial and Trix Rabbit was undergoing a series of psychiatric evaluations. Yakko thought that all of it could have been avoided if they had just let him have the damn cereal from the beginning. But no, they had to just constantly tease him about the breakfast food and look what happened; bad press for both Kellogg's and General Mills.

It would take a hell of a scoop to knock this story out of the headlines, but with his little punch he risked putting them all on the front pages again. But it had been worth it. Yakko was pretty sure Bugs was right; no matter what, Ocho had been trying to set up an all-nighter with his kid sister. Even if Yakko looked bad for slugging the guy, Ocho was going to look worse.

His hand hurt like hell but giving the guy a one-way ticket to the floor had been a thoroughly fulfilling experience. If it wasn't hurting so bad he would pat himself on the back for a job well done.

He was both horrified and pleased with himself. Having never thrown a punch before, he felt he had done a fine job. His fist had connected with Ocho's muzzle with a hearty crunch and he had felt the flesh and cartilage collapsing in on itself. Either the boy wasn't gifted with Schlesinger Syndrome or he was so stunned with Yakko's throw that he hadn't Chucked himself. When Bugs was marching him out of _The Harnell's f_ood court, Yakko could see Ocho's face beginning to swell.

If nothing else, Yakko thought he could be proud of one thing; Ocho probably wouldn't be trying to kiss anyone else's kid sister for awhile.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Damn it Dot, why did you have to do this? Because of you, you're making me yell at you and get mad at you, something I hate doing…_

_Sometimes it's hard being the oldest. _

Inhaling Yakko knocked on Dot's door, just wanting to get this unpleasantness over with; he hated yelling at either of his siblings. He hated it, but normally they asked for it…well, Wakko anyway. Yelling at Dot for any reason was a much rarer event.

He waited a few seconds, not hearing any response. Grunting he knocked again, a bit harder this time. After a few tense seconds he heard a long sniff and a weakly muttered 'come in'.

Grasping the door knob, Yakko entered Dot's room, intent on not weakening. While he secretly rolled his eyes at Bugs' propensity to fall sucker to Dot's cuteness and wiles, Yakko knew he also had a tendency to do the same - with both siblings. In fact the damn rabbit had pointed that out to him in his office a few minutes ago, earning himself a scowl.

Fine, he was a sucker; he could admit it. Just not this time; if he was a sucker now, she might try something like this again. Next time they might not be so lucky.

But…

Yakko sighed. If Bugs could see what he was seeing now, Yakko was pretty sure Bugs would crumple too.

Dot was a pathetic sight, what he could see of her hidden in the massive bed piled with stuffed animals that had been sent to her since she hurt her leg. She was sitting there, clutching the long suffering Cupcake, the usual victim of her cuddling when she was scared or upset. He was surprised that the bear was still in one piece; even from the doorway he could see the bear's eyes almost popping off its head as she squeezed tighter.

While most of Dot's face was hidden in Cupcake's fuzzy head, she moved just enough to peek over the top of it to glance up at Yakko. He groaned at her sorrowful look; she probably didn't even realize she was making it and he fought the urge to just run over and cuddle her.

But, he couldn't, not yet anyway. These situations…these were the times he hated being in the position he was in. The oldest brother, the one who had to be the bad guy every time she or Wakko did something wrong. He was the one that had to step up and punish them, or tell them no when they wanted to do something desperately, even if it was something stupid or dangerous.

He snorted at himself; he rarely whined about it. He hadn't when he was younger, he refused to start now. It was just something that had to be done, and something he had always done. No one else was going to do it, and he had willingly accepted the role, almost before Dot was even born.

This would be a lot easier if it was Wakko, he decided. He knew what to do with him; as soon as he opened the door Wakko would be begging for forgiveness and saying 'before you yell let me explain' or blurting out some harebrained excuse for whatever he did.

Dot was different. Right now she was staring at him with watery red-rimmed eyes and half hidden behind a teddy bear. Her ears - still down he noted with a shudder - were brushing the tops of her shoulders and her broken leg encased in the brightly decorated cast was straight out in front of her. It was probably the most woebegone she had ever looked and he felt a little bit of his anger and worry melt away.

Besides, she wasn't even trying to give him some lamebrain excuse or saying 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'. She looked upset and worried but she wasn't begging for leniency, which was unlike her. Normally she would be batting her eyes and trying to cute it up for him, attempting to look as adorable as possible.

He sighed before stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. He had steeled himself for that, for her to try to talk him out of punishing her or yelling at her. She just looked worried and slightly miffed at him.

But, this was one of the first times she had been in any serious trouble. He supposed she had a right to be worried. Hell, Wakko was into something at least once a week and was used to being in trouble, and even he would be worried. Though chances were that the only reason Wakko would be miffed was because he got caught and was in trouble.

Yakko crossed his arms and glared down at her, attempting to buy himself some time and hoping she would speak first. She had thrown a wrench in his plans by not talking, and now he had to formulate some way to speak to her.

He was a bit miffed himself, for a new reason. For the last two hours Yakko had been mentally formulating a response to almost anything he imagined Dot would say, even discussing with Bugs the best way to go about things.

He had a response to any reason or excuse she could come up with. He wasn't going to let her out-cute her way around this. Even if she didn't understand what Ocho wanted out of her, she knew what rules she had been breaking.

He still had to struggle to restrain himself from running to her and holding her, to reassure himself again that she was safe in front of him.

If nothing else, Ocho shouldn't be able to get ahold of her again. Bugs had immediately called the phone company and had the number changed, while having Ocho's number blocked from the other lines in the house.

Bugs was happy she had only been calling from the phone line in the den; that was his 'public' line. He had two lines that Yakko knew of; the one in the den was the number he gave out to people he didn't want to talk to, and the number that fans occasionally got a hold of.

He narrowed his eyes at her, trying to will her to talk so he wouldn't have to speak first. No matter what, he could do this. He was the big brother, he could handle whatever she said -

"You coulda let me say goodbye to him."

Well, except that.

Yakko felt his glare melt away, the look being replaced by one of astonishment. She was serious wasn't she?

He mentally chided himself; Dot didn't understand what the issue was. He had to remember that. She saw him being a jerk, nothing more.

" - and you punched him!" Dot fumed. Raising her head more to give Yakko the full effect of her glare she added, "He was my friend - "

"I know he was your friend," Yakko said harshly, putting a nasty intonation on the word 'friend'. "That's what scares me!"

"Why?" Dot snapped. "Don't you want me to have friends? It's not like you - "

"Of course I want you to have friends!" Yakko snapped, cutting her off. He pinched the bridge of his nose and added, "Just not that kind."

"Well you don't act like it!" Dot huffed while Yakko mentally sighed in relief that she wasn't asking just what kind of friend he thought Ocho was going to be. "And you would have liked him if you got to know him - "

"Oh I doubt that - "

" - because you two were close to the same age - "

"Which is the problem!" Yakko interrupted her loudly, cutting off her tirade. "Do you see me trying to interact with your friends like that huh?" Taking a deep breath and trying to keep calm he added, "This guy didn't want to be your friend Dorothy, trust me. Don't you think it was a little funny that he lied about his age and looks?"

Yakko watched as Dot's face went from angry and sulky to a more contemplative expression.

"He said he didn't have any current pictures," Dot finally muttered with a sulky look. At Yakko's narrowed eyes she added hastily, "Well, it could be true couldn't it? He's not like us, getting photographed all the time!"

"Right, I know it's real hard to get a photograph taken for someone who's not in show business," Yakko said snidely. "And for someone so shy, you'd think he would have had a hard time talking, especially to me and Bugs…think it was a little odd that he seemed pretty mouthy?"

"Well…"

Dot trailed off and sniffed, looking like she was trying to come up with an answer to that question. Yakko waited, crossing his arm and tapping his foot while he watched Dot flick the tip of her tail and avoid his eyes.

Finally she gave a sigh and a shrug and Yakko decided to continue.

"You're not talking to him again, end of story. Now - "

"That's not fair," Dot muttered. "He's my friend - "

"Was your friend. Remember that. Bugs has already had that line cut off and since you won't be using a phone for a long while anyway, I think that friendship is over - "

"What?" Dot screeched. "You're grounding me?"

"Well, you're using your head about something; two weeks," Yakko firmly declared, narrowing his eyes at her incredulous look.

A month was slightly extreme and would probably kill her; having calmed down a bit and having a chat with Bugs had made him see that. Her summer was already half ruined with a broken leg and he didn't want her entire break from the show to be nothing but punishment. Besides, in a few weeks she was supposed to be getting her fittings done for her dress for Brain's wedding and doing some sort of silly rehearsal…

Yakko thought about that; sitting around getting fitted for a dress and rehearsing throwing flowers. Was that considered fun or a punishment?

He shrugged; to an eight-year-old, two weeks was an eternity anyway. He thought he was being generous bringing it down to that; maybe he should inform her that originally it was a month. It might get her to calm down and see reason.

"No phone, no going out, no nothing; the same thing Wakko would get so don't even look at me like that - you're actually getting off lighter because of your leg. Now…"

Yakko watched in trepidation as Dot's eyes began to water up and sighed again. Figures, he had been on a roll, laying the law down and being a somewhat authority figure and she just had to start crying.

"Stop it Dorothy," he finally sighed. "I'm not any happier about this than you are. You know the rules, you chose to break them - "

"I didn't have any choice," Dot said softly. "The rules are stupid and you weren't talking to me because you said you were busy - "

"I was, helping our friends, people who care about us and helped us out," Yakko answered, still glaring down at her. "And the rules are there so when I'm not, I have some assurance that one of the weirdoes out on the street isn't going to run off with either of you."

"He didn't want to run off with me - "

"That's debatable, but not the issue right now," Yakko said sternly. "What is the issue is how you met him…you lied to me Dot!"

"I…I didn't want to…" Dot said softly, a few tears leaking from her eyes as she lowered her head. "I - "

"But you did!" Yakko fumed, his arms crossed as his voice rose. "And a couple of different times! You know how I feel about that, but it didn't stop you did - "

"It's not like…I didn't want to - "

"And don't lie to me now!" Yakko yelled. "You had several opportunities to tell me what - "

"Well you might have said no so - "

"Oh you can bet on that!" He gritted his teeth in frustration when she huffed and buried her face in the bear's head. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment when she didn't acknowledge him and told himself to have a little patience with her. While his anger and annoyance was starting to ebb a bit, some of his anger was left over from his worrying about what could have happened.

He sighed deeply, restraining the urge to just grab her and raise her head up to look at him. He didn't think it was an unreasonable request; no matter what he was telling them, he always looked them in the eye. He expected the same courtesy.

Seeing that she probably wasn't going to look at him, Yakko slowly counted to ten before continuing.

"Plus you just knowingly broke my and the studios' rules - do not reply with personal information to any fan mail…do you think the studio or me just sit around making up rules for the hell of it?"

"I don't know - "

"I've told you before Dot - some of these people can be dangerous! If this guy - Ocho or whatever his name was - grabbed you while you were at the mall trying to hide from me and Bugs…" Yakko shook off the thought of what could have happened and continued. "If he did, what would you have done huh?"

"Hit him," Dot sniffed, squeezing Cupcake a bit harder as she began to wail. "Like I did Wakko and Plucky when they - "

"Right - he was twice your size!" Yakko said loudly, cutting her off. "Hitting him with your crutch wouldn't have done a damn thing - he'd be a lot harder to hit than Wakko and Plucky! And believe me when I say those two goobs weren't trying to do to you what he wanted to!"

"Ocho is my friend and you just want to yell at me!" Dot screamed into the unfortunate plush. "If it was Wakko you wouldn't be this mad- "

And nothing annoyed him as much as being accused of favoritism. He worked hard trying to make sure that both his siblings were treated equally. Yakko knew he messed up on occasion, but he honestly tried. Hell, he was pretty sure he was harder on Wakko than he was on Dot, especially before. Some of it was due to his own age and inexperience, plus their prior situation verses their current one.

If he told Wakko to be quiet when they were younger, it usually meant that if he didn't, he could wake their parents up - or worse if they were hiding, alert TIS or other squatters to their presence. If Wakko wasn't quiet, he normally got spanked, or at least threatened with one. At the time, it was one of the few punishments Yakko had in his arsenal that worked on Wakko. It was hard to ground him when they were younger; they hadn't had anything he could really ground him from.

Now though, things were much different. If he told one of them to be quiet, it was usually because they were being pains. While annoying, it wasn't going to threaten their way of life. Plus, he had so many more options now; he could ground her from her toys, going outside, calling friends…

And he had been much younger himself, and while he tried to read some parenting books and other sources of information on child rearing, he was hardly an expert. Hell, he felt like he was floundering as it was now.

Growing frustrated, Yakko stomped across the room while mentally reminding himself that Dot had a broken leg. Right now she should be happy she did; no matter how angry he was with her, he refused to spank her with half her leg encased in a cast.

But, broken leg or not, he could still grab her, and hold her and touch her.

He watched as Dot cowered back on the bed and gently but firmly grabbed her shoulders, standing her up on the bed. He crouched down so he could get nose to nose with her.

"Don't accuse me of favoritism Dorothy," he said in a low tone. "Wakko would be in the same amount of trouble - or worse. The only reason you aren't is - "

"I'm sorry!" Dot said hastily while a few tears trickled down her face. Several more ran paths down her face fur as she mumbled, "I didn't mean it. I didn't think - "

"That's becoming a real problem with you Dorothy; you didn't think," Yakko continued in the same low even tone. "You didn't think hiding all this from me was wrong; you didn't think outright lying to me was wrong. You didn't think ignoring my and the studio's rule was wrong - "

"I'm sorry - "

"You also apparently didn't think that giving out Bugs' phone number was wrong - a number that wasn't yours to give out in the first place! We've talked about this before Dorothy; respecting other people's property - "

"Yakko I'm sorry!" Dot interrupted inbetween cries. "I never meant - "

"Here's something else to think about; what if he had managed to find out where Bugs lives? You think this guy wasn't dangerous, but what if you're wrong huh? What if he came here and robbed Bugs? Or hurt him - or one of us?"

_Like you…_

"That isn't fair to any of us or Bugs is it?"

Dot, crying harder now, shook her head as Yakko continued.

"You not only lied to me - you lied to Bugs! Bugs! The guy who's helped us out how much? Were you trying to make him mad? You don't want Bugs to not like you or trust you - at the very least you owe him an apology."

Yakko stopped, half to calm down a little bit, but mostly because Dot was crying so hard that he doubted she was hearing anything he was saying anyway.

"You gotta think about these things Dot," Yakko continued, struggling to keep his voice quieter. He didn't want to scare her - well, maybe a little - but he wanted to impress upon her how dangerous what she did was. "I'm so disappointed in you right now I don't even know what to say…"

Yakko sighed, hearing her cries become heart-wrenching sobs and stopped. With her caterwauling, he shouldn't bother saying much; she definitely wasn't going to hear it now. He just hoped what she had heard sunk in and she wouldn't do this again; his heart wasn't going to able to take a second round of this stress. If things kept up the way they were, Dot was going to be responsible for his first grey hair.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry," Dot howled while her tiny shoulders shook with her sobs. Between two choking wails she hoarsely screamed out, "I didn't want to make you and Bugs mad but Ocho was my friend and listened to me and said he thought I was so mature and wanted to watch me eat ice cream and take me to breakfast and see me ride with stirrups…"

Yakko shuddered at the statements, once he was able to translate what she just screamed at him. He was probably never going to eat ice cream for the rest of his life, now that it had been tainted by Ocho's perverse wishes. The whole idea of 'riding' and 'stirrups' filled him with a nauseated fury.

Her face messy from crying she gasped out, " - and I'm sorry I don't want anyone to hurt you or Wakko or Bugs but he was lonely and no one else was around and I didn't think he was bad so I didn't tell you because he said…"

Whatever she said after that was lost in a choking sob and Yakko groaned, rolling his eyes before just holding her to his chest, letting her bawl into it.

"I know honey, I know, but you need to think of these things," Yakko whispered as he rested his cheek on her head. "But think of this Dot; he didn't want you to tell me about him, or meet him, or talk to him…doesn't that sound weird? Did any of your other friends say that?"

Dot shook her head no, but didn't raise it to look at him. She just continued to cry weakly into his shirt so he continued.

"And you've never hidden something before - well, that I know of." He looked down at her and keeping his face impassive he added, "Then lying about it; I don't know if I can trust you to…"

It was a low blow, and he knew it, but it worked. She pushed back slightly to stare up at him, aghast for a moment before bursting into fresh tears, flinging her arms around his neck, wailing into his shirt.

With a deep sigh he shrugged and said, "Plus, if you don't tell me things like this, it makes it seem like you don't trust me - "

He stopped, mostly because her grip tightened so much around his neck that it was beginning to cut off air flow.

"No nono," Dot wailed hoarsely. "I do! And please please please don't say that I'll tell you everything from now on like how I got a picture of a clown and put it inside Wakko's binder to scare him and how - "

Yakko snorted; she wasn't exactly revealing a big secret. He had known it was here the moment it happened. He hadn't said anything when Wakko was moaning about it, mostly because it had been funny. Plus Wakko had asked for it.

Wakko had almost fallen out of his chair in surprise when he found the picture shoved between two pages of his homework at six-o' clock in the morning. Yakko thought he had done an admirable job of attempting to offer sympathy to his brother in-between chuckles. The only thing Yakko had been curious about was where in hell she had managed to find a picture of Pennywise.

"That's…maybe a little too much information Dot," Yakko drawled. "But…some of these other things…there's a difference between playing a joke on your brother, and what Ocho was saying and doing, right?"

"But he was nice," Dot moaned in his shirt while nodding.

"They always are. Dot, he was doing what I've warned you about before. Basically he was waving a piece of candy at you and trying to lure you to him and away from your safe spots," Yakko stressed while stroking her hair and pushing her ears back. "We've talked about this before - "

"I know," Dot mumbled. "But he was my friend - "

"Dot - just…if anyone ever tries to lure you away; from me, Bugs, Porky, whoever - don't let them. They are definitely not your friend if they are trying that." Pulling back he took her face in both his hands to look at her and added, "Look, I know you said some of this was my fault; maybe it was. I should have pushed harder to find out more about this guy. I should have double-checked the mail; that's my responsibility, but I trust you to follow the rules. I don't expect perfection, but this is a really important one, just as important as never leaving the lot - "

"I know."

_If you know, then why did you do it?_

Yakko was close to demanding that answer out of her but decided against it. He was calming down and she wasn't crying as much. Hopefully what he had said was sinking in and she wouldn't do this again.

"Maybe I shouldn't have tried to help out the others and not been here for you - "

"No," Dot muttered, wiping at her eyes while pouting. "I shouldn't have called. You said before not to if there was a number and I did anyway." With a deep sigh she added quietly, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be bad and make you mad and not trust me. I'll say sorry to Bugs too if it will make you happy."

Embracing her he said, "Apologize to him if you're sorry; it doesn't count if you don't mean it, and trust me, Bugs will know." Picking her up, he sat on the bed, leaning against the wall and settling her gently on his lap he added, "And if you want to make me happy, stop putting yourself in danger. The thought of anything happening to you or Wakko just…"

He broke off when he felt her nuzzle into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Your apology is accepted, like always, just don't do anything like this again Dot, please," he stressed. "I love you both too much to let…if you do anything like this again I'll lock you in the tower like Rupunzel for the rest of your life," he warned. "My heart misses a few beats every time I think about what could have happened."

"What could have happened then?"

_Shit._

Yakko ran a hand through his hair.

"He didn't do anything mean or bad," Dot continued while making herself somewhat more comfortable on his lap and sniffing loudly. Stretching her injured leg out to prop it up on a pillow she added, "He was nice. "

"This guy…I know you don't think he's bad or weird or anything, but Bugs and I…ehhhh…we're of a different opinion - "

"Why?" Dot sniffed before rubbing her face in his shirt and looking up at him.

Yakko stiffened at the simple question.

How deep should he get into this subject? 'Because I said so' probably wouldn't be satisfactory. He wasn't uncomfortable discussing it with her…much…but still, she was only eight.

Then again, he knew pretty much what was going on at eight, including that some people took too strong an interest in small children. He had shielded Wakko from some of that knowledge until he was eight or nine and had started asking questions. While Wakko hardly knew everything, he was knowledgeable enough to know if an adult - or near adult - was saying or doing funny things around him. He also knew that if he ever felt weird or uncomfortable around anyone, he was to go straight to Yakko or any of the other trusted adults for help.

Hopefully Wakko would never have to experience that. Yakko had thought he was protecting Dot by shielding her from any of that knowledge, and maybe he had been, but now, she needed at least some basic information. Ocho wasn't slick enough to hide from him, but he had been slick enough to sucker a naïve eight-year-old.

Yakko finally sighed; a simple conversation wouldn't hurt, about sex or about the people that might look at her as dateable material at her age. If she knew about what to be wary of, she could better protect herself. Or even better; tell him and he would protect her. Ocho got off light with a bloody muzzle; the collie owed Bugs a big 'thank you' for pulling Yakko off him.

Besides, no matter how much he wished it, she wasn't going to stay his cute little eight-year-old sister - that no one in their right mind should ever look at.

No, she was unfortunately going to grow up. She wasn't there yet, and wouldn't be for a long time, but it was his job to prepare her for it, and to hopefully know next time to be wary around the 'Ocho's' of the world that were looking at her as some sort of sex symbol.

He was definitely going to have to see about getting the writers to work on some scripts showing her more sweet childish side.

"Some guys…ehhhhh…" He floundered for a moment, debating on the best way to phrase it. Yakko finally blurted out, "Some guys…like children way more than they should in ways they shouldn't."

"He said I was mature," she said quietly. "No one ever sees me that way, just the little sister that can't do anything. I always wanted to be seen like a grown up. It was nice that someone thought I was interesting to talk to."

Yakko stayed silent after she spoke, wondering on the best way of starting the conversation. He was even giving himself a mental pep talk; he had been through a similar talk with Wakko a few years back, and he had done well. He could do it again with his baby sister, even if the situation with her had a slightly more frightening backdrop than with Wakko.

And this 'mature grown up' nonsense…where was this coming from? He huffed to himself; he didn't want a 'mature grown up' baby sister that had guys falling all over her adorable eight-year-old self. He wanted his baby sister; no, he couldn't stop her from growing up, but he could stop her from growing up too fast.

He sighed, resting his chin on her head for a moment while she quietly sniffed. As he turned his head though he spied something out of the corner of his eye trailing from Dot's pocket, long and shiny and lavender.

Yakko smiled slightly, pulling Dot closer to his chest while grabbing the end of the ribbon, freeing it from her pocket.

"You are mature, for your age. But…you're eight-years-old; that puts a real limiter on your maturity," Yakko stressed as he smoothed back her ears. Taking the ribbon and ignoring the soreness in his fingers, he deftly began to tie a bow around her ears, adding, "But you're my eight-year-old sister and I like you just the way you are, even if you have occasional bouts of immaturity."

"No one else does - "

"Wrong again sibling; the people that count - your friends - seem to think your interesting to talk to. Trust me; I'm probably going to get grief from a few of them because you're not going to be able to talk to them for a few weeks."

He bit back a snicker at her indignant huff. He wasn't mad at her too much now, not as mad as he had been anyway, but she was still grounded. He wasn't that much of a sucker. She was going to remember this, one way or another, and if the fates looked kindly on them, they would never hear from Ocho or any of his ilk again.

"So, we're gonna have a so-called mature conversation for a bit, just so I can fill in a few gaps for you. Then, how about humoring me for a few years and just concentrate on being my baby sister and not so grown up and mature, OK?" He added, finishing the bow and happy to be looking down in the childish yet adorable face of his youngest sibling. "Take my word on it; doing so will add years to my life."

At her frown he sighed again, wondering how to start off this conversation. With Wakko it had been slightly easier. He had actually just come out and asked, giving Yakko something to work with when he started the conversation. With Dot it was a cold start.

He pulled her tighter to his chest for a moment, thinking while she sniffed quietly in his lap. Moving slightly, Yakko's hand rested on Cupcake, lying forgotten on the bed beside him. Looking down at it for a moment, he then looked over.

Further down the pillow was the stuffed horse he had bought her years ago, half hidden under a plush Sonic, a green CareBear, a few stuffed rabbits, a Mickey Mouse and several other unidentifiable characters. Yakko turned from them with a sigh before giving several of them an appraising eye.

An idea had struck; he wasn't sure how clever it was, but it was an idea. He wouldn't use the Mickey or CareBear or any of the real cartoon characters; that would be almost creepy. Unfortunately for them, being toons, Dot really could see Mickey, and somehow Yakko doubted the real Mickey would appreciate a plush in his likeness being used in this conversation.

But Cupcake and the Lipizzaner weren't real, and could actually be useful. A conversation like this would be easier with props, especially for him. At least he would have something to do with his hands besides awkwardly wring them while wishing he was anywhere else.

Wondering what Goose would say if she could see how Cupcake was going to be used as a teaching aid, Yakko picked up the bear and the Lipizzaner horse and held them up with a small smirk. On a side note, he hoped the use of props wouldn't scar his baby sister for life.

Looking down at Dot who was still gazing at him with a watery pout, Yakko said, "OK Dot, let's have a conversation. You see, when a boy and girl love each other very much…"

XXXXXXXXXX

July 3, 1996

" - and I know that green's gonna clash with her face fur 'Myra - "

"What is this 'Tiny Toons' you speak of? It is not on in - "

"Quiet! If Yakko hears - "

"Yakko? Is he here? Quick, 'Myra, hand me my lip gloss!"

"Yakko is girl's oldest brother, yes?"

"Oh yes pretty fluffy-head he - "

Dot giggled at the look Anastasia shot Elmyra upon being called 'pretty fluffy-head''. Elmyra's interesting way of speaking didn't translate well with the Russian polar bear; it seemed to confuse her why someone who looked normal enough addressed her in such an odd manner.

With a small contented sigh, Dot settled back into the couch as Babs and Elmyra fiddled with her hair and applied more layers of makeup to her face. They rarely wore any themselves, but they - Babs especially - seemed to have tons and they liked nothing better than coming over and putting it on her. Wakko said they didn't know what they were doing and were just using her to practice on.

Dot wasn't sure if he was right or not. Babs claimed to know what she was doing but would never allow her to look in the mirror to see what she had done.

She was still technically grounded, but thankfully Yakko was a forgiving sort. She wasn't allowed to leave and visit anyone, she couldn't watch TV or play video games. She wasn't a huge fan of video games, but she found she wanted to play them more when she wasn't allowed to.

She couldn't even listen to the radio. Plus, he wouldn't give her any allowance, but she couldn't get anywhere to buy anything anyway.

She had to write tons of lines and polish a bunch of stuff while sitting down, but that was it. Her broken leg was working in her favor at the moment; in the heavy awkward cast, she couldn't get down on the floor and scrub or anything.

He wasn't being too mean though; if people came to visit her he let them stay. Dot had a feeling that part of that was because Yakko still felt bad that her leg was broke even though that wasn't his fault. When Wakko was grounded - especially for a long time - he wasn't allowed any visitors.

It hadn't been pleasant; Yakko was still kind of mad at her. For a few days he had given her hard looks and she had been so mortified and scared that she wished Porky had already taught her how to paint tunnels. She would have crawled into one and never come out.

Bugs had seemed sort of mad too, but had accepted her apology. Porky had been mad at her for a while as well; that hadn't been any fun.

But, a week later, no one was mad it seemed. If they were, they weren't outwardly showing it. She pouted to herself though; she was hoping when Yakko wasn't around she could get Bugs to at least let her watch TV, but the rabbit had been surprisingly firm about refusing. Even Porky wasn't proving to be quite as malleable as normal, though that wasn't saying much. Even when he was mad at her, Porky proved to be as pliable as taffy.

It hadn't been all miserable though.

Wakko, whom she thought would laugh at her misfortune and tease her simply because for once he wasn't in any sort of trouble, had been surprisingly understanding and sympathetic to her plight.

She had been confined to her room at first, only to come out to eat and use the bathroom. Wakko had waited until Yakko was distracted with Bugs and snuck to her room, knocking softly on her door.

Upon being given permission to enter, Wakko had crept in like he was going to rob her, even going so far as to stick to the shadows in the corners. Looking over his shoulder like he expected Yakko to spring out of her closet, he had almost run to the bed and actually hugged her for a moment, stunning her. Wakko didn't hug her often, but it was always a pleasant surprise when he did.

He had talked to her for a few minutes, ears extended as he tried to listen for Yakko. According to him, Yakko had talked to him when he got home again about the dangers of giving out personal information when responding to fans.

Wakko, surprisingly, took that one to heart. He said in one way he was mad at Dot - even he respected that rule. It might be the only rule he respected, but he had never actually broken it.

He said on the other hand, he had to give her credit. He hadn't gotten Yakko that mad in awhile. He said she had guts to do that, even if it was stupid.

She managed to choke back several comments, most of them along the lines of 'you're one to talk'. This was the guy that helped steal a golf cart, that snuck off the lot and rampaged around Disney studios, that had locked Ralph in a porta-potty several times…not that anyone knew that. Dot was pretty sure everyone knew Wakko and the other goofballs did it, but there was actually no proof.

But, Wakko always trusted her, so she knew. She had tricked him into telling her.

She appreciated the visit; Wakko had been out with Foghorn doing some stupid car thing and hadn't returned by dinner. Dot had wondered how long it was going to be before she actually got to see him since she was pretty much locked away.

Wakko had surprised her though, not so much with going behind Yakko's back to sneak in and try to cheer her up. With Wakko that was expected; if he wasn't supposed to do it, it was almost a guarantee that he would..

What she hadn't been expecting though was for him to hand over what he termed 'The Precious'.

She had stared at him when he reached into his Hammerspace and, cutting his eyes worriedly to the sides for a moment, pulled out an old but familiar handheld version of 'Donkey Kong'. She had forgotten about that thing but apparently Wakko had held it near and dear to his heart.

He said he treasured it. Before her astonished eyes he cradled it close to his face and whispered 'Precious' to it and got a glazed, possessive look in his eyes.

She went to ask what he was doing, but before she could he snapped out of it, saying the name came from something Max had said about a book he read and it fit. Wakko claimed it was his 'emergency entertainment', something he could pull out and play whenever he got in trouble and needed his video-game fix. He said she couldn't have it; he was in trouble way more than her and generally had a greater need for it. The 'Precious' was his and he needed it like air and insulin for his daily survival.

But, he didn't mind sharing, especially at a time like this. It wasn't the greatest game in the world he said but it killed time. Wakko said he still got a certain thrill whenever he pulled it out, just because not only was he pulling one over on Yakko every time he turned it on, but Dot always was too.

In these situations, they had a common enemy: Yakko.

Dot had almost burst into tears at the strange yet oddly sweet gesture. Wakko, willingly parting temporarily with his 'Precious' for her. She would definitely remember this the next time Wakko got in trouble for one of his brainless stunts. He had even brought fresh batteries for it.

So, when she was locked away in her room not doing some mindless task, in between schoolwork or extra assignments, she busied herself by trying to beat Wakko's high score on the game. Plus Wakko was occasionally sneaking in her room to visit her without Yakko breathing down his neck in case he was trying to discuss anything 'fun'. Discussing 'fun' things with Wakko usually meant something he or one of the others did that they weren't supposed to do.

Dot snorted; if she was an evil sister, she could have blackmail material on Wakko for the rest of his life after she heard some of his stories. And Wakko always did such fun things! But he said she couldn't do any of the stuff he did because she was a girl and little. It was usually at that time Dot said she could hear Yakko coming which would cause a panicked look to cross Wakko's face and he would bolt out of her room like a frightened kitten.

Stupid boys.

But besides Wakko, she was getting lots of visitors; people that didn't care if she was a girl.

Molly and Webby were over almost every day, to giggle and gossip and play. Sometimes they would even do their homework together. April had come over several times to visit and bring her small gifts to cheer her up. Today she had even brought her friend over, a Russian model that was going to engage in a few photoshoots with April. 'The Diamond Tiara' was thinking of expanding into a new market overseas.

Babs and Elmyra had come over several times, saying they were visiting. Dot wasn't sure they were trying to visit her, not all the time anyway.

Babs still tutored with Bugs, so she was over anyway. But Babs spent an awful lot of time either trying to talk to Yakko, who seemed to spend an awful lot of time trying to leave quickly when she arrived. And if Babs wasn't trying to talk to Yakko, she was trying to talk about Yakko to Dot or anyone else within hearing distance.

Elmyra…Dot honestly thought the girl was over to visit her most times. She was a dingbat, but she had a good heart and at least wasn't trying to talk about her brother every other minute.

Though Elmyra did spend quite a bit of time shooting glances in Wakko's direction whenever he happened to appear…

Dot shook her head. No matter what reason they were over, she appreciated the company. Sitting at the kitchen table polishing silverware that she had already polished the day before was boring. Luckily she had overheard Bugs telling Yakko that he didn't want his silverware polished anymore. If she did it one more time, she was liable to destroy it.

Dot wondered if Yakko would find something else for her to do. He didn't seem that mad anymore, so she was hopeful that he would let it go.

Just like Yakko said, she hadn't heard any more from Ocho. She ignored the girls talking around her for a moment, casting a glance towards the phone. Bugs had immediately had the line shut off and she wasn't allowed near a phone right now, so she hadn't heard from him. She wondered if he had tried to call, or was ever going to send another letter.

Now that she knew - sort of - what he was doing and probably wanted, she was happy Yakko had jumped in. She just wished he had been a little kinder about it.

And Yakko…she almost snickered at remembering her brother's sex ed talk. He had been trying to make it fun, she knew that, but honestly, she just wasn't going to ever be able to look at her bear and horse the same way again. Even now she would occasionally cast suspicious eyes at the two plushes and made sure to keep them separated on her bed.

Yakko wouldn't get into great detail, especially about Ocho and 'others of his ilk' as he liked to say, but she got enough. She hadn't totally understood why Ocho liked her 'like that' and Yakko had said he didn't have a good answer for that and he probably never would. But Ocho wasn't the only one in the world with those sorts of ideas; she had to be careful to make sure that no one like him ever got around her again.

The world was a scary place sometimes, filled with scary people. Dot wished every girl had an older brother like Yakko to look out for them.

She had continued to ask questions about this new subject. Sure, upon further review and with the new information brought to light Ocho was a creeper. But the whole other stuff, like how babies were made was pretty interesting and she wanted more information.

All this time she really had thought they were found under leaves in the cabbage patch. Who knew? But Yakko had answered; he even said she could ask him more questions when she wanted.

Yes, everyone should be lucky enough to have a brother like Yak-

She was brought out of her contemplations by a gasp and a shriek of glee as Elmyra spotted Wakko walking by the den with Plucky. Actually, Wakko had been trying to sneak by, even walking on the tips of his toes and Plucky had yelled a loud 'hello' to Elmyra, attracting her attention.

Within two seconds, Wakko was engulfed in a large hug from Elmyra while Plucky leaned against the doorframe and laughed at his friend's predicament. Dot shook her head, once again mystified at the boys.

Wakko had said he kinda liked Elmyra…sometimes. The pained look on his face now though told Dot that this was probably not one of those times. But she couldn't tell if that was because everyone was laughing at him, because he was being held up from going to do something, or because Elmyra was simply squeezing to tight.

He always got to do fun things. Like today he and all his little butthead friends were going off to go play paintball. Dot sighed; that had sounded like fun.

But he said she wouldn't like it because they got messy, sort of like he said she wouldn't like camping because it was dirty. Dot snorted; she could get as dirty as the next person. Sure, she liked being neat and clean, but if push came to shove she could get as filthy as any one of the boys and still look good doing it.

Plus, he said it was because she was little. She had pointed out Wakko wasn't that much bigger than her, and Plucky wasn't exactly a giant either.

Still though, Wakko shrugged her off. Even Yakko wasn't much help this time around, though he at the moment was using the 'you're grounded' excuse, not to mention recovering from her leg injury. She had tried to point out she wasn't going to be grounded forever and her leg would heal but once again her reasonable arguments fell on deaf ears. He told her he had seen the little runts in action before and she definitely did not want to be in a war between them.

Sometimes, she really had to wonder what it was like, to have people actually pay attention to her when she talked.

" - said gerroff 'Myra - "

"Oh I missed my cuddle-head - "

"I'm not your cuddle-head!"

Dot snorted in barely contained mirth, forgetting her prior annoyance with this brother. He may not think he was her cuddle-head, but Elmyra sure seemed to think differently.

Wakko struggled mightily, but was unable to break loose of her grip. Finally Elmyra weaved her arm through his, clinging tightly to him and resting her head on his shoulder with a content sigh. Wakko rolled his eyes while Plucky continued to laugh at him.

"Can you stay and visit cuddle-head? Just for a little - "

"No 'Myra!" Wakko snapped, finally managing to pull away from Elmyra. He clutched his chest and gasped for a few moments before pulling himself together and adding, "We've got plans."

Dot raised her ears at that one. Plans. Figures, he was going to go do something fun - again - while she was stuck at home, and not only because she was in trouble.

Babs looked up with a curious glance. April didn't even bother to look up from her magazine. Anastasia continued to file her claws.

"Plans cuddle-head?" Elmyra asked with a small frown.

"Yeah, plans," Plucky said before Wakko could speak. Pulling Wakko's free arm he stated, "Paintball - "

Dot didn't hear the rest of what the duck said, mostly because he was drowned out by several new, loud voices entering Bugs' foyer.

Loud unwelcome voices, the voices belonging to several individuals who were going off with her brother to have fun.

And leave her alone again. She had almost been happy at one point she got in trouble. Because of the danger she had unwittingly put herself in, everyone was paying a lot more attention to her.

Especially Wakko. When Wakko wasn't being a giant pain in her tail, he was actually quite sweet to her, almost doting. He hadn't been doing any of the stupid gross stuff he normally did; he was actually risking getting into trouble himself by sneaking around so he could come in and play games and stuff with her.

But now he was going off and acting like his usual goofy self again and she sighed. She appreciated her friends being there, she really did. Yakko and Bugs and everyone else was great. But sometimes she really did miss her other older brother.

"Settle down - I say - settle down!" A raucous voice bellowed from the foyer, only slightly dimming the roar of the crowd of boys.

Dot winced but looked up as Max and Buster came barreling into the room to stand next to Wakko and Plucky, all of them talking excitedly. Behind them she could see Foghorn and Jeeves speaking to Bugs and Yakko, Kit leaning against a wall beside them.

She shook her head; Yakko and Kit had been alternating between hiding from Elmyra and Babs while trying to flirt with Anna. At first they had both been flirting with April, until they spied the statuesque bear towering over her.

After that they had pretty much ignored the petite bunny for a time, focusing instead on the beautiful foreigner with the thick exotic accent. April had seemed annoyed by it; Anna had seemed bored and ignored their attempts to gain her attention.

While it didn't stop Kit from trying to talk to her, Yakko seemed to lose interest in the snowy bear and tried talking to April again. By that time though April had begun helping Babs and Elmyra put makeup on Dot's face and was decidedly chilly towards him.

Dot knew they didn't think she was watching, but she was. She didn't understand all that was being said but she was pretty sure some of it was 'innuendo', a word that she had heard Yakko use before. Maybe she could get Wakko to explain some of it to her. If they weren't supposed to know about it, chances were Wakko did.

"These little boys…so rowdy, so…immature," Anna sniffed at something Babs said, causing the bunny to giggle and nod in agreement.

"Settle down please," Jeeves asked in a pleasant voice before giving Foghorn an unreadable look. "Really, are you sure this is the best idea?"

"Taken the boy lots of times," Foghorn said loudly, barely turning to clasp a large hand on Jeeves' shoulder. "He's a natural! Been trying - I say - been trying to get this one to go too," he added, giving Yakko a sharp nudge and almost sending him careening into the wall beside Kit.

"Ehhh…I don't think paintball's my thing - "

"Paintball?" Anna gave a haughty sniff before looking over at April. "These little boys…all this excitement…over paintball?"

April shrugged and Dot turned curious eyes toward the bear and said, "They go a lot, and really like it…" She trailed off and mournfully looked down at her cast. "I want to go sometime, but with this I - "

"I will be here long time," Anna interrupted firmly before roughly grabbing April's hand. "Here with friend. We will go when you are well," she determinedly stated, even standing up and clutching her hand to her chest.

Dot grinned; she wasn't sure she wanted to play against the large polar bear, but if she got a chance to at least try it, she wasn't going to complain. She wished Molly was there; paintball would probably be right up Molly's alley. She could envision her hyperactive friend now with a paintball gun, screaming like a rebel solider as she topped a hill and aimed -

Her thoughts were broken off by a rude snort and several snickers that rose into a loud laughter that echoed off the walls of the room.

"She sounds like a vampire," Plucky whispered loudly, causing Wakko and Buster to snicker.

"OK, OK. Jeeves," Max said, turning to look at his butler. "Call the post office, they delivered someone's mail-order bride to the wrong house." Getting a crafty look on his face he added, "Or maybe Bugs - "

The sharp smack Jeeves gave him to the back of his head almost sent the boy crashing to the floor, causing the rest of the boys to burst into gales of laughter. Max moodily glared at his butler and rubbed his head but made no further comments.

"I do not get joke…ah, I do," Anastasia said with a firm nod. "It is amusing, little loudmouth - "

"Ignore them Anna," Dot sighed while Elmyra began to fiddle with her hair. Sometimes she felt like a doll, the way Elmyra and Babs wanted to play with her. She wasn't even sure why they bothered; whatever they did Yakko always made her wash it off right away, even while they were still there. "I do - "

"Little boys…pfft," Anna snorted, waving a dismissive hand at the snickering boys as she turned to Dot. "We go when better. It will be good time. I shoot well- "

"I doubt that; you come from a country where the population stands in line all day for toilet paper that - ow!"

Dot didn't even turn to look as she heard the pleasing sound of Max's head being smacked hard enough to hit the wall. In the chair, Anna stiffened with an insulted look. Dot heard the various sounds of the other boys chortling and laughing before Babs spoke.

"Oh stop laughing Buster - for all you know, she could be a good shot."

"Her? I doubt it," Plucky answered with a defiant lift of his bill. He went to say more but was cut off by Foghorn.

"Don't discount - I say - don't discount the ladies son; girls shoot just as well," Foghorn pointed out. "Lots of ladies have good aim - "

"Oh yeah?" Wakko asked. "Name one."

"Annie Oakley."

"Besides her."

Dot watched, waiting for Foghorn to answer. The rooster got a look of deep concentration on his face as he thought.

"Any girl in the military," Yakko finally shrugged, leaning against the door frame with a bored expression.

Dot watched as Babs almost dropped the eye shadow brush she was holding when Yakko spoke.

"Well, I don't know about those girls," Plucky said with finality. "I do know that these girls wouldn't like paintball."

"I would," Babs said firmly. "I'd play - and I'd beat you too. All of you."

Dot winced at the loud laughing that greeted Babs' statement.

"Well," Wakko snickered while pointing at Dot. "Maybe you could; it does look like you paintballed her face."

"Hey! We did a good job on her!" Babs spat, shooting Wakko a nasty look.

Dot frowned. Babs and Elmyra had been working on her for a long time. Figures, Wakko had been so nice lately, but as soon as his friends show up he turns into a butthead again. Then again, she could feel the slick layer of lipstick they had slathered on her mouth. She wished they would let her look in the mirror to see what she did look like.

"Bit heavy handed on the eyes Babs," April answered, glancing up from her magazine. With a sigh she grabbed a towel and began to wipe at Dot's face. "Maybe try a lighter shade…and not so much of it."

"See?" Buster shrugged, turning his back on the conversation and walking out of the room. "These girls can't even paint someone's face correctly; how could they hit a target?"

Dot watched as Babs glared at Buster's back for a moment, clenching her fists. Then she calmly stood, snatched a tube of lipstick - 'Jessica R's Ultra Color Extra Plump in PassionBerry Punch' off the coffee table and hummed it at the blue bunny's head. Wakko and Plucky went to ground just as it struck the center of Buster's head with a loud 'thunk' before tumbling to the floor, leaving a long bright streak of color on his fur.

"Ow! What the - "

The other boys burst out laughing as Buster gingerly touched the top of his head. Dot watched as Buster swiped his hand over the spot then looked at his hand with a frown. The lipstick had smeared a dark streak on his glove.

Yakko and Kit started clapping, and Babs began to bow and curtsey, shyly shooting looks at them beneath her lowered lashes.

Meanwhile Buster had a horrified expression on his face.

"I'm bleeding! Thanks a lot - "

"It's lipstick doc, calm down," Bugs said, lounging against the wall near Yakko and rolling his eyes. Looking at Foghorn, he asked, "Weren't you going to get these maroons out of my house for awhile?"

"Nice shot Babs," Dot congratulated the pink bunny, who preened at the praise as she sat down. "I couldn't have hit him that far - "

"Sure you could have," Babs countered with a smirk. "As big as his head is, it'd be impossible to miss - "

"I heard that!" Buster snapped as he scrubbed at his head. "It was a lucky shot!"

"Is that right?" Babs stood back up, grabbing a tin of powder as she did so. She pulled her arm back to throw it again, causing Buster to dash behind Yakko as she did so when Bugs stopped her.

"Not in the house!" Pointing to the door, he added, "Beat him up outside! There's nothing breakable out there!"

"Thanks a lot," Buster muttered, heading to the door. "I'll wait in the truck."

"Girl's got nice aim though," Foghorn mused so quietly that Dot could barely hear him. As it was she was trying to drown out Babs' and Elmyra's talking to hear the adults. "Can't take that from her - "

"Course she does," Bugs said proudly. "Taught her myself."

"Nah, that's not it. If she learned from you, she couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo -"

"Loudmouth."

"Well, everyone in here would have decent aim," Yakko interjected with a small shrug, turning his head from Kit for a minute to glance around. "Not much different from throwing a pie and we've all done that. It's not that noteworthy."

Dot shot a glare at Yakko as Babs frowned prettily at his comment.

"There would be differences Master Yakko," Jeeves countered as he began hustling the boys towards the door. "If given the opportunity, I believe the girls could give these four a run for their money, and not just in paintball - "

Tired of listening and getting a headache from Elmyra's less than tender ministrations to her hair, Dot muttered louder than she intended, "So give us the chance instead of laughing about us."

All the little side conversations she had barely been paying attention to ceased and she looked up with a frown. Everyone was watching her; the boys with an amused gloating look, the other girls with curiosity, Yakko and Kit with surprise, and a few adults with shrewd contemplative looks.

It wasn't that strange a concept was it? The next time they went to play paintball - when she wasn't in trouble and had her leg encased in a cast - the girls could go too. Or at least her; she didn't know if she could see April and Elmyra playing. Babs definitely. Anastasia…the bear had a weird gleam in her eye and a dangerous smile playing upon her lips.

"Is good idea; I would like to play paintball…could show little loudmouths how to shoot correctly."

"Right Vampira," Plucky shrugged, going to stand beside Buster and Wakko. "We'd still be aiming as you guys were running for the hills - "

"I would caution you to not underestimate her Master Plucky," Jeeves said, turning to look at him. "The Russians are known to be excellent shots."

"Until they swill too much Vodka," Max muttered, earning himself another shot on the head. Dot watched as he shook it off, sighed, and went to stand beside Buster at the door.

"Well give her - us - a chance!" Dot insisted. "I wanna play it too! Why - "

"Just let her go one time," Wakko said from the doorway. "It will only be five minutes before she's crying to go home - "

"Or five minutes before you are," Yakko snickered. "I could see it now - you four covered in pink paint and pinned in a tree by her."

"See?" Dot said triumphantly over the laughing. "I could be a good player - "

"We all could," April stated. She glanced at Elmyra, who was still playing with Dot's hair and seemingly not paying any more attention. April shrugged before saying, "Yeah, I think we could even get Elmyra up to standard - "

"I don't wanna shoot the cuddly-wuddly's," Elmyra said firmly before getting a dreamy look and hugging herself passionately. "I wanna love them and squeeze them - "

"Mister Foghorn, I suggest when Miss Dorothy - "

"It's Dot! Dot!"

Why did he always insist on calling her 'Dorothy'? She hated her name and always wondered why her parents had given her it. It sounded like an old lady's name. Dot wasn't as bad. Whenever she heard 'Dorothy' she assumed she was in trouble.

" - is healed, perhaps we could allow her and the other ladies to accompany us, at least watch the boys to see - "

"I don't watch anyone play," Babs interjected forcefully. "I jump in - and I win."

"Fine, fine," Buster said with a smirk, leaning against the door. "When 'Miss Dorothy' -"

Dot snatched the hairbrush from Elmyra's hand, preparing to throw it at Buster herself, but a look from Yakko stopped her. Besides, the bunny hadn't noticed her movement and was continuing.

" - is all better, we can play her." With a shrug he said, "All of them, who cares? It won't take that much to beat them, and we can put this to a rest."

"Not gonna be fair like that," Foghorn said, glancing over at Bugs. "Six of them, four of you - "

"We can do it with just the four of us," Buster shrugged, not looking concerned. "Or grab some others."

"We could all go," Jeeves suggested.

"Count me out doc," Bugs stated, raising both his hands and backing away. "I saw those little heathens in the woods with just rope. You're not getting my fuzzy grey tail anywhere near them with paint guns."

Dot watched, amused. She really wished she could have gone camping with them, just to have seen it. Bugs still said he had mental scaring from the ordeal and a haunted look would appear in his eyes whenever anyone mentioned the trip around him.

She looked around, spotting Yakko and Kit, who were ignoring the conversation, talking and snickering with each other.

"How about them?" she suggested, pointing. Right now, she wouldn't mind going after Yakko with a nice big paintball gun. Maybe if she shot him enough times he would relent and let her go back to riding. He was proving to be stubborn about it. Of course he was still sort of mad at her about the whole 'Ocho' ordeal. Maybe she wouldn't shoot him too much. "It would be six and six."

"Huh?"

Kit turned to look at the group with a confused look. Yakko glanced around, gulped audibly and slowly backed out of sight around the foyer wall. He was dragged back by Bugs.

"Perfect!" Forhorn said loudly. "Wasn't looking at you anyway rabbit - was looking at the boys; perfect additions to the team. Little Miss thinks like I do."

"Team? What's he talking about?" Kit hissed to Yakko.

Dot shot another triumphant look at Wakko. She thought just like Foghorn - and Wakko adored Foghorn. So there - great minds think alike.

"I see where this is going…ehhhhh, no," Yakko said emphatically. "Just…no." He pushed Kit towards the front of the group. "Kit though…adrenaline junkie…bet he'd love - "

"Uh no," the cub muttered. "I don't even know what's going on but forget it."

"Come on!" Wakko went over excitedly, grabbing Yakko's hand and pulling hard enough he almost jerked him off his feet. "It'll be faboo! And we'll win for sure!"

Dot smirked, seeing a look of comprehension finally register on Kit's face. The cub looked around for a moment with a frightened expression before slowly backing away behind Yakko.

"This isn't my thing - ask Molly though," Kit said. "Being hyper and making a mess is right up her alley."

"But I want Molly with us!" Dot insisted.

Then it was seven to four - or six if they could get Kit and Yakko to agree. Darn. And it sounded so fun too…

"There is no 'us'," Yakko said, sparing Dot a glance. "You could get hurt - "

_Oh this again?_

"Yakko," Dot whined, doing her best to not go over the top. Whining didn't always work with Yakko…but most of the time it did. Especially with a pretty pout. "That's not fair!"

"Neither is worrying me constantly with injuries and secret rendezvous with people who think you're available for breakfast, but yet here we are." Yakko spread his hands out with a dramatic flair before adding, "Life is unfair."

Dot opened her mouth to respond, but Jeeves jumped in.

"Perhaps at a later date we could organize teams," Jeeves said, interrupting what was shaping to be a decent fight. "That way we can assure ourselves of no injuries. The girls can pick a certain amount of players and the boys match it so both teams are even."

"Girls against boys," April said from the couch, where with a bored expression she gently pushed Dot back against the cushion. Dot closed her eyes as April began applying a thin layer of paint to her lids. "By default I'm already on the winning side."

Dot could hear the adults quieting the scuffling boys by the door. She could hear the younger of her idiot brothers laughing obnoxiously with his idiot friends at April's comment. The rest of the sounds seemed to result from the adults restraining Yakko and Kit from running out of the immediate area. If she wasn't afraid of April stabbing her in the eye with a mascara wand, she would have loved to open her eyes to look.

Yakko wasn't being fair. She knew she did wrong, she was being punished for it - did he have to continue to mention it? She hadn't meant to cause trouble and she didn't mean to upset Yakko.

Dot was aware that Yakko was overprotective; Wakko had complained about it enough. But he never seemed to curtail Wakko's activities like he did her. And Wakko was playing with cars - that could be as dangerous in some ways.

"Older boys worse than younger boys," Anastasia said in an impassive manner. "Refuse to play from fear. Not on team; too many excuses."

Dot winced as April pressed on her lid firmly as she leaned over toward her friend. After a moment the pressure lessened and she hesitantly opened her eyes.

April, a reluctant looking Anastasia in tow, was walking towards Yakko and Kit. To their credit, they looked almost as surprised as she was. The other boys were slowly backing away, Buster's hand going behind him and wildly groping for the doorknob. Meanwhile, Bugs and Foghorn were furiously whispering back and forth while Jeeves was examining his fingernails calmly.

"Oh Anna, they're not refusing to play," April said in a low tone that reminded Dot of a cat purring. "And I just bet they're not scared. They'll be along. They just need more…persuasion."

Dot glanced over at Babs who was watching with a look of annoyance and interest. After a moment the pink bunny shrugged, reached into her Hammerspace for paper and began to take notes on a small pink steno pad.

Not sure why Babs would want to take notes on the conversation, Dot turned back to watch April. The lavender bunny had reached a very startled looking Yakko and was slowly walking her fingers up his chest with her eyes half-closed and a dreamy smile. Meanwhile, Anastasia was stalking up to Kit. The brown bear looked torn between absolute elation and running for his life.

"Right Yakko?"

Yakko backed away from her, a look of wonder and suspicion on his face.

"I'm a lover, not a fighter," Yakko answered, backing into the wall behind him and groping feebly around, trying to escape. "And I'm sure I'll have plans…whenever it is."

Dot started paying as much attention as Babs now; anyone who could make her brother react like that was worth watching. She even debated taking some notes herself.

"Oh I bet," April purred, getting up on her toes so she could put her face inches from his. Pursing her lips and thumping his chest she added, "But just think, it won't take too long right? I mean, it's just like tossing a pie."

"But messier," Kit muttered with a slight shiver while warily looking at Anastasia. "That's not gonna disappear in a few minutes and I hate washing paint out of fur."

"I help you _lapochka_," Anastasia said, getting a soft smile on her muzzle.

Kit instantly perked up at that statement as Bugs groaned and hid his face in his hands. Dot continued to make mental notes while Babs furiously scribbled beside her. Meanwhile, Elmyra continued to pull and tug; Dot winced and hoped she still had hair by the time the redhead was done.

"We promise to play fair and not hurt you too much," April continued on in a throaty purr.

"Hurt us? You got to be kidding." Yakko tone had a scoffing quality to it, but he was looking decidedly more interested now than before.

"And besides," April added so softly Dot had to strain her ears to hear. "It could kinda be like…a first date. And when we're done with them, we could do…other things." At Yakko's look she added while twirling a long purple ear around her finger, "Well, you did ask me out."

"Damn it she talks too quietly," Babs muttered. "What did she say?"

"She said it would be her and Yakko's first date," Dot muttered.

Babs made a rude snort before looking up.

"So, first date huh?" The bunny muttered. "Good. If I can't have him, then I want Buster."

"Uh…no."

Buster made a move to open the door, but was stopped when Foghorn put his hand on it.

"Come on boy, you're being challenged now."

"I don't want to go out on a date - "

"I do!" Elmyra cheerfully added, bouncing on the couch cushion.

Dot yelped in pain when Elmyra, in her enthusiasm yanked the brush through her head so roughly she was convinced she was going to be bald when she was done. She gingerly reached up, happy to not feel a bare spot as the conversation reached a deafening roar of protests and threats and challenges issued. She glanced up, saw Elmyra glancing at the smirking Wakko, and quickly grabbed the brush off the couch and tossed it in her HammerSpace. With a brush, Elmyra could be considered armed and dangerous.

Finally, Bugs stepped forward, waving his arms and asking for attention. No one noticed. Dot watched as the rabbit shrugged and reached into his Hammerspace for a bullhorn. She managed to cover her ears just as the rabbit yelled into it, bringing all conversations to a screeching halt.

"Quiet!"

When everyone stopped in mid-word to look at him, Bugs calmly continued without the bullhorn, pausing to stare hard at everyone.

"Now, while I enjoy all this camaraderie in my den, this is getting us nowhere. How about this docs - the losers take the winners out – winners choice." Bugs shook his head before adding, "Or whatever. Just as long as it doesn't involve, shedding blink, scattering fur around my den or me in any way."

"Dinner and a movie," April stressed, crossing her arms. "I don't do things halfway and if I'm going to get dirty, I want to be compensated accordingly."

Dot heard Plucky mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'greedy'.

She settled back into her cushions, ignoring the conversations around her while thinking. Dot was positive Molly would want to get in on this. Probably Webby too. She racked her brain, trying to think of any other players who would want to get involved. Then she shrugged; it wasn't just her decision. The others might have their own friends who would want to play and if they were going to help her get a team going, it would only be fair to let them include people as well.

"Whatever," Buster muttered. Looking over at a resigned looking Max, he said, "It's not like we have too much to worry about."

"Wait a minute," Wakko said, causing all eyes to turn to him. "You act like we don't have a chance. What if we win? Maybe we don't want dinners and movies!"

"Well, what do you want?" Yakko asked, finally taking his gaze from April to his brother.

Wakko glanced over at Plucky, who shrugged.

"We'll think of something," Plucky said with another shrug. "Maybe a free night at the arcade?"

"No," Elmyra said, finally giving up on fixing Dot's hair to join the conversation. "I want to go to the movies with the cuddly-wuddley's too."

"Only if you win, which you won't," Max said. "Can we continue this some other time? Like in twenty years? It's not like we'll be doing anything soon anyway, since she's got the broken leg and is stuck because of her little letter writing escapade gone bad."

Dot leveled her glare at Max. Figures, out of everyone in the room, he was the one who just had to bring it up. No one had forgotten what she did and she sure hadn't, but was it necessary to point it out? She sighed; Yakko was glaring at her again.

"Correct," Yakko said. He looked back at April and put his arm around her waist.

Dot winced at the nasty hiss Babs made.

"So, the idea of an all-out battle is gone for the foreseeable future." Yakko wiggled his eyebrows and asked, "How about you and me just do the dinner and movie instead?"

"How about we wait until everyone can go?" April said, giving a graceful turn and unwinding herself from Yakko. With a wide smile she asked, "So…does this mean yes?"

Dot watched as Yakko sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking over at Kit. The bear stopped leering at Anna long enough to give a noncommittal shrug.

"Ehhhhh…"

"And Dot will be with me; right under my personal protection the whole time." April narrowed her eyes and said quietly, "And believe you me, I can take care of myself." Giving another small smile she perkily added, "You'll have nothing to do but sit around and wait for me to decide what movie I'd like to see."

Dot waited with baited breath. Yakko's face was running through a gamut of emotions; hesitation, amazement, fear, excitement.

_Oh come on…_

"Ehhhhh…fine, fine."

Dot mentally pumped her fist in the air at the victory. Apparently a mix of sweet and sour worked well on her brother.

The younger boys began to hoot and holler, and Dot distinctly heard Wakko and Max laughing at her, saying that even with the extra time the girls were getting waiting for her leg to heal, there was no way they would possibly beat them. Even with their eyes closed and their Hammerspaces off limits they could beat them.

Dot huffed and flopped back on the couch again. She'd show them - she already had some decent players to go with, Molly would be a real asset to them. Beside her she could hear Babs and Elmyra already whispering about girls they knew that might be worth bringing in.

"You will go," Anna stated, giving a hard look at Kit.

Kit gave a withering look at Yakko before looking back at Anna. He licked his lips nervously before nodding once, head hanging, resigned to his fate.

When Yakko looked at him with one eyebrow raised, Kit shrugged and said, "What? I like a strong woman."

Dot grinned at the noise that came from the group around her. Foghorn and Jeeves were already making plans while Bugs frantically attempted to stay away from them. Foghorn finally just grabbed the rabbit's ear and held him there. The younger boys were jumping around, while Yakko and Kit were watching April and Anna like they had transformed into spitting vipers before their eyes.

"Alright," Babs said, tossing the compact she was holding to the floor with a contemptuous sneer. "We need to plan."

"But fuzzy-head," Elmyra said, shoving Dot to the side as she began to dig through the cushions of the couch. "It'll be months before we - "

"All the more reason to start now," Babs said firmly, grasping Elmyra's ear and dragging her into the huddle beside Dot. Narrowing her eyes to small slits, she gave a tight smile and added, "I won't let those idiots beat us. We can beat them, especially with a bit of extra time…and it's all thanks to Dot and her leg."

Dot grinned weakly while looking at the bunny. She wasn't quite sure what she started, but be that as it may, she was glad the bunny was working with her instead of on the other team.

With the look on April and Anna's faces, plus with the quietly cackling Elmyra beside the smug Babs, Dot had a feeling that instead of being annoyed with her brothers, she should probably be feeling sorry for them.

XXXXXXXXXX

July 6, 1996

" - and everyone's gotta start somewhere; ignore them. I'm not taking you to some public course, especially for your first time. Trust me doc; I'm not gonna steer you wrong."

Worried, Yakko shot a look towards Bugs but nodded once, tightening his grip on the club and happy at least that his knuckles were not as sore today. He slumped his shoulders miserably as Jeeves graciously waved a faster group behind them ahead to play the empty hole. Bugs nodded to the group as he put his arm around Yakko's shoulders; according to him, you always invited a faster group behind you to play through.

Yakko glanced up, seeing Richard Karn and Tim Allen in the group and sighed, sending an irritated glare at his ball. They at least gave a friendly wave as they passed them; earlier, Jane Seymour's group had breezed by with barely a glance at them. Hell, they'd even been passed by a group that had counted among its members Stu and Didi Pickles.

Why Bugs had chosen to come here of all places was a mystery Yakko was sure he'd never solve. Sure, Lakeside Golf Club, was the most exclusive country club in the area and was less than a mile from the lot but jeeze, Bugs never half-assed anything. It was lousy with high-rollers and celebrities.

Unfortunately, it was clear to Yakko that they all played much better than him; he had almost tried to crawl in the second hole when he saw Plotz, clad in a ghastly yellow polo and bright red Bermuda shorts being followed by an unfortunate caddy. The poor girl was barely taller than Plotz and he had the tiny brunette loaded down with a wide variety of clubs. If he hadn't been so nervous and in a bad mood he would have at least talked to her; at best he thought he gave her a grimace. Yakko took comfort that at least their caddy would probably get a few laughs out of watching him.

Plotz had appeared calm for once, almost happy even, and had greeted the four of them, expressing surprise that Yakko even had a clue what golf was. He had hurriedly left though; he spotted José Carioca, Ed McMahon and another man Yakko was later informed was the head of Touchstone Television waiting for him to complete their foursome.

He knew that he was attracting some attention. It wasn't because he was a star for once; apparently at this place, being a celebrity was almost a requirement. Bugs was a member of the club; surprisingly Foghorn was as well, though he admitted he rarely went. With a little finagling and a couple of twenties slipped to the right people, Bugs and Foghorn managed to get around some pesky rule that stated that guests were not allowed on Saturdays.

Yakko was beginning to wish they hadn't bothered. This hadn't been what he was expecting. He had visions of a nice empty green lawn where he could putter around and try to learn all these new rules and what club was supposed to do what and exactly when he was supposed to use them and the difference between 'birdie' or 'budgie' or whatever they were called. Worst case he was hoping Bugs was just going to take him to the Goonie-Golf course in ToonTown; that would have been vastly preferable. He probably wouldn't be making a total ass of himself there.

No, Yakko knew he was attracting attention because he clearly had no idea what he was doing. Bugs was probably upset he had firmly stuck with his plan of making Yakko his partner on this little outing; if he had intended on beating Foghorn and Jeeves he might as well toss that plan out the window. Bugs was apparently an above average player and everyone knew the rabbit liked to compete. While Foghorn seemed to have some basic knowledge of the game Yakko had the feeling that Jeeves was far better than he was letting on.

He supposed it was better than being at a public course. Bugs had stated he refused to take him to a public course; here it was other celebrities and higher-ups, who were there for one reason…golf. Nothing else; no one cared if Yakko Warner was playing golf at the next hole. At a public course, he would be dealing with fans who might be there for golf too, but could get distracted by attempting to say 'hi' or get an autograph. Plus there was the constant paparazzi and news people attempting to get stories; Bugs thought that with it being Yakko's first time, a more secluded place would be better and put him at ease.

It didn't.

Yakko hadn't been sure what to expect when Bugs had told him their tee time and it was bad etiquette to be late and he had to be up with the sun. He'd been confused when told he couldn't wear jeans and that he was required to don a collared shirt. He had sighed in relief though; golf had a long association with phenomenally stupid ugly clothing he had no desire to be spotted in. At least the other members of this party were clothed similar to himself, meaning he didn't stick out that much.

That didn't mean he had not enviously watched Wakko and Dot, attired in shorts and t-shirts, trip out the door this morning to the Bunny's vehicle.

Dot. Yakko snorted; she was so lucky he was a sucker and didn't want to upset Bugs. After pronouncing her punishment - which he had firmly intended to enforce - he had caved.

But only for the day. She was still being punished, but she got a get-out-of-jail-free card today. It wasn't everyday they got to go to an amusement park. Yakko had been unsure what to do with Dot and Bugs had suggested she go with Wakko. At first he had refused; she was in trouble; he wasn't going to give her a day at the park. He had even intended to ignore her pleading and begging and done what he thought was an admirable job of it.

But she was persistent and got help. Wakko in a fit of brotherly-camaraderie had pleaded to him on her behalf several times. Hell Dot had Wakko bringing him jars of cherries at one point while chanting please.

Mr. Bunny had called Thursday offering to let Dot accompany them. He claimed he wouldn't mind; she would be less of a headache than any one of the boys. For the most part she could ride any attraction she would normally be able to even with the cast so she could still have fun.

Yakko sighed, running a hand through his hair. Eventually he had relented; it wasn't like he had another option. She either went with Wakko and the Bunny's or she came golfing too, something she hadn't seemed that interested in.

There was the other option; Yakko had debated several times on simply not going. He was somewhat looking forward to it, but not enough to actually let Dot get away with murder. It wasn't like he couldn't go another time, and he was positive that Bugs could find another partner, and probably one that was more competent.

But the rabbit had surprised him - he wanted Yakko. Another da-doo/little-do bonding opportunity for him apparently, and he claimed it was a chance for Yakko to pick up a new hobby that he may find relaxing and challenging at the same time. Bugs said he would be busier than normal for the next few months as the premier date for his movie approached. He wanted to be able to spend some quality time with Yakko doing something enjoyable now, while it was still summer break.

Besides Bugs had rightly pointed out another problem - what else could Yakko really do? The options for Dot this weekend were slim.

The Cunninghams were busy with something to do with Disney; Nurse Miller was attending a convention. Slappy had prior plans he wouldn't ask her to change. Porky was an option, but Yakko had snorted at the thought. Dot would whine and beg most prettily, and knowing Porky he would end up taking her to the amusement park on his own all while trying to be firm with her. It was easier to just allow her to go with The Bunny's and Wakko.

Besides, Bugs claimed Yakko needed the break too and really, there was only a few days left on Dot's restriction anyway. Bugs had pointed out that Dot had obviously learned her lesson; hell she looked at any fan mail that came in like it had mold on it and refused to send a letter out unless someone else read it.

Yakko finally agreed. He chose to make himself feel better by ordering Dot to not have too much fun at the park. He got a sloppy kiss on his check for that and he wondered what else she would get away with in the next couple of days. He always turned as spineless as a feather duvet when she was begging and pleading.

Stiffening his resolve and happy there were no more groups behind them at the moment, Yakko studied his ball again. It was his turn to hit the silly thing. He ignored Foghorn's muttering as the rooster moved behind him. Not that he could blame him; on one of the previous holes, Yakko had taken a page out of his book, hitting the ball as hard as he could.

It hadn't worked any better for Yakko than it did for Foghorn. Unfortunately the ball had gone sideways, ricocheting off a nearby tree. The next thing anyone knew Foghorn was on the ground, gasping and moaning because the ball had hit him in the groin like a small missile. The rooster had stayed clear of him when he swung now, eyeing him warily and trying to hide behind a very amused Jeeves. He claimed that his feathers didn't cushion a hit that much and he hadn't been prepared to Chuck his body.

Bugs told him to hush and he should always be prepared; he knew better. Thankfully the rabbit had managed to choke back most of his laughter when he said it. Yakko couldn't even laugh; he was too embarrassed.

"Remember what I said Yakko," Bugs said quietly. He leaned over Yakko's back, placing his hands over Yakko's and readjusting them, trying to avoid his knuckles. "Don't choke up on the club. Hold higher up, towards the grip doc. And don't hold so tight; you're clutching it like a mallet."

Apparently satisfied, Bugs stepped back, eyeing Yakko's stance critically.

"Relax doc; you're too stiff. Bend your knees. Just follow through on your swing this time. Remember, this is supposed to be fun."

_Fun? This is not fun. _

He was having fun spending time with the group; this was probably one of his first adult activities he had done with any of them. Camping barely counted; the younger boys were there and he was stuck in the middle of the two groups. Here though he was clearly accepted as an equal; an equal that was woefully ignorant of golf, but a full-fledged functioning member of the party regardless.

He just hadn't expected it to be so hard or confusing or nerve-racking. It made him sorry he had laughed at all of the tacky and utterly juvenile ball jokes Wakko had been spouting. He was worried about hitting Foghorn or anyone else unlucky enough to be on the course at the moment.

Yakko took a deep breath and released it slowly, focusing his attention on the ball and ignoring everyone around him. Foghorn was making a surprisingly valiant attempt at being quiet when someone swung, but he still had plenty glib quips to mutter to Jeeves.

"Just be quiet Foghorn," Bugs mumbled. "You're making him nervous."

"He's nervous?" Foghorn replied sourly. "Imagine me. Boy's gonna need another mulligan again ain't he?"

"An Irish phone book does not have as many mulligan's as we have seen this morning," Jeeves mumbled back, earning a snort of mirth from Foghorn.

Yakko gritted his teeth. Mulligan - a do over - he'd found out all about them today too since he had one on about every hole. He wasn't even supposed to have one on the first hole; the club had a ton of weird rules. But, as was typical with Bugs, the rabbit had just ignored that rule and had Yakko do it again anyway.

OK. Those two wanted to make jokes; he knew they weren't trying to be mean, they had been offering helpful advice before but still it was irritating. Bugs was watching him with an encouraging expression, whispering hints and advice at every opportunity. The caddy who had dutifully been following along behind them was gazing at the group ahead of them with a wistful expression.

Yakko took one more breath; he could do this. Maybe not get it in, but he should be able to get it near the hole.

"It's like driving doc," Bugs said quietly beside him, putting his hand on Yakko's shoulder for a moment. "Patience and practice. It was hard the first couple of times right? You were nervous but you got through it fine and you'll be ready to test soon. This is the same way."

"But Bugs," Yakko muttered back. "Everyone - "

"No one's watching - so hit the ball like I showed you." Glaring behind him for a moment he added, "Go make your da-doo proud and shut those two up."

_Fine._

Yakko sighed but nodded. Half the time he missed on his first swing; when he did hit the ball it went in pretty much every other direction except the one he wanted it to go in. He wasn't going to miss it again.

Bugs had been going over technique and rules and etiquette with him for awhile, even having him practice in the back yard. Especially in a sport where no Toon Theory was allowed, he had to rely on only his brain and skill, but he could do that. He had already bruised his ego and a certain part of Foghorn's anatomy; there wasn't much more he could do right?

He gripped the club in his left hand, his thumb extending down the shaft with a determined air. He placed his right hand on the club, his pinkie finger interlocking with his left index finger, allowing the club to rest in this fingers.

He was lined up properly; the club face was aimed at the target and his feet were parallel to where he wanted the ball to go. In the hole, he'd take near the hole, as long as he wasn't sending it hurtling towards anyone or anything living.

_Here goes…_

Yakko swung the club back, turning his shoulders before bringing it down. He felt the club hit the ball and instead of stopping, he followed through, shifting his weight as he did so.

He was almost afraid to watch where the ball went this time. It didn't seem like it was on its way to injuring anyone. In fact, it almost looked…

Yakko watched, unblinking and gripping his club as the ball soared through the air before landing on the green and begin rolling. It neared the hole and he assumed it was going to roll and hit the pin; that had happened to Bugs earlier, resulting in some good-natured grumbling from the rabbit.

The ball rolled toward the hole. He breathlessly watched, even going so far as to cross his fingers as Bugs gripped his shoulder painfully. Yakko didn't even care if it went in, though no one would hear any objections from him. He was ecstatic that it got anywhere near the hole he was aiming for.

Foghorn and Jeeves had thankfully stopped talking a few moments earlier. Now they were watching, arms crossed with disbelieving expressions like someone had just come and hit them in the face with a large trout.

Yakko ignored them as the ball reached the hole and balanced for a moment like a ballerina before it tumbled in. Still unblinking Yakko could barely comprehend what just happened.

No one else had any problem comprehending though; Bugs let out a whoop of elation in his ear that made him wince. Jeeves, looking uncharacteristically animated, shook his hand vigorously. Foghorn gave a 'that's the way to do it boy!' before slapping him on the back with enough force that Yakko stumbled forward several steps. At the next hole, Yakko could see the group that passed them waving and calling back while pointing at the green. Hell even the bored caddy was smiling and clapping passionately. He could hear far off cries of congratulations coming from different areas of the green, but he barely paid any attention to them.

How could he - a hole-in-one? What were the odds? A billion-to-one?

Yakko stood dumbfounded for another moment, still not daring to believe what just happened. He eventually decided to blink; his eyes were getting dry. Despite hearing about a hole-in-one, he hadn't fully understood all the fuss that went along with it. He hadn't even expected to see one; Bugs had explained that a hole-in-one was a rather rare occurrence; something always strived for but rarely attained. It was obviously so exciting that even golfers who weren't in their group waved and hooted to express their satisfaction; they'd celebrate anyone's ace.

Yakko felt the shock start to drain, to be replaced with a great sense of self-satisfaction. Then he let out a whoop and jumped in the air, yelling like a referee during the World Cup at his victory. He had been told golfers go years trying to get a hole-in-one; he did one in his first game. It hadn't been intentional, he'd probably never be able to do it again and it was a total blunder and pure luck, but he was quite proud of himself. Lady Luck was obviously on his side today; perhaps he should go buy a lottery ticket or ask out the cute caddy working for Mr. Plotz. Today he was invincible and could conquer the world.

What a thrill - and he thought this was awful a few minutes ago and wanted to leave? He was crazy. Yakko was trying to stop himself from running over to the hole and taking a picture of the ball sitting in the cup - it was simply that exciting.

"Now that's what's up doc!" Bugs crowed, waving his arms around and seemingly forgetting his own golf etiquette lessons of attempting to stay somewhat quiet on the green. Grasping Yakko and giving him a hard hug and spinning him around like a roulette wheel he yelled, "Knew ya had it in ya!"

Yakko heard Foghorn directing the caddy to take a few pictures; wasn't every day that the boy scores a hole-in-one. And he should definitely keep his ball.

"See? Wasn't this great?" Bugs was continuing to gush. "And you - you're a natural - rocky start but you might have potential doc." Finally unhanding Yakko and watching him stagger slightly he added, "Knew you'd be a good partner - and you look tons more relaxed - admit your da-doo was right!"

Yakko ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. Between the hole-in-one excitement and Bugs' spinning him around he was pretty sure he was going to be on a golf-based high the rest of the day.

"Yeah, fine, it's…not as bad as I thought," Yakko finally said. "Oh hell, it's…Ok I love it!" Narrowing his eyes at Bugs playfully, "Wanna bet I can do it again?"

"Don't get cocky; it's gonna get rough ahead doc," Bugs cautioned while still wearing a silly grin. "Be pleased you got this one – there are guys who have been playing here for years that haven't got one yet."

Right. OK. Not cocky. He could be proud of the accomplishment, take the congratulations gracefully and continue on with playing, not feeling like the nitwit he felt like a few minutes ago.

That didn't stop him from turning with a gloating expression to the still grinning Foghorn and Jeeves and asking sweetly, "What was that about me needing another mulligan?"

XXXXXXXXXX

July 17, 1996

"You want me to what?"

_I'm not doing that!_

"You brought it on yourself doc."

"No I didn't! I just - "

"You just swung your fist into some kid's muzzle," Bugs patiently explained before taking a bite of his carrot. When Yakko went to protest the rabbit continued, holding up the half chewed vegetable to silence him. Yakko knew better than to argue with that.

"I'm not saying he didn't deserve it doc, really, and I can't fault you for protecting your sister."

_Damn right._

"But this…"

Bugs broke off his speech for a moment and Yakko watched him, fuming before glancing at the black-and-white pictures that had been faxed to them.

The rabbit had lost his mind…again. First the whole camping fiasco, now this? Yakko wondered if the rabbit secretly drank and he just didn't know. It would actually explain quite a bit.

Damn these media types with their constant ability to grab photographs at any opportunity. And just his luck, there was one at the mall during Dot's ill-fated date. Of course Bugs had spotted him, on the far side of the mall near the cookie store, and this bozo just had to have a camera. Yakko had been praying that Bugs was just being overly dramatic.

This guy got several good photos, Yakko couldn't take anything from him there. Even one photo of Yakko making a fist, glaring at someone touching his sister was a good enough story to sell a few papers.

But with more photos – such as the one where his fist is actually making contact with the collie's muzzle…

Yakko wondered why he had to have such crummy luck. He thought things were going better.

Dot was well on her way to being healed, having been put in a walking cast and going to physical therapy twice a week. She was off restriction and now understood fully what she had done wrong. They both had had a long talk and he had finally relented, agreeing to allow her to return to her riding as soon as her leg healed and the doctor cleared her.

Wakko was more or less behaving himself. He somehow managed to busy himself with friends, music, whatever the hell he was doing to that car with Foghorn, some tutoring and still found time to be an annoying pain in the tail.

The summer away from the tower had been relaxing for the most part, with just enough fear and anger thrown in to keep things interesting. He had discovered that he quite liked golf, even though he was pretty sure his chances of hitting another hole-in-one were about the same as his odds of getting to third base with Michelle Pheifer.

Now this.

He sighed as Bugs droned on, having long since gone into lecture mode. Yakko had stopped listening somewhere around 'it's only one night doc; is it really worse than the alternative?'"

This journalist was not as bad as Globe, but that wasn't saying much. Yakko had never had a very low opinion of the media before, but after the last few months he was beginning to see that thinking change.

It might not be as horrible as he was thinking…he shuddered before covering his face with his hands.

The journalist worked for 'Teen Toon Dreams', a magazine that Yakko tried to avoid whenever possible for a variety of reasons. While Bugs didn't know the journalist well at all, he did know one of the higher ups at the magazine. Bugs said they weren't exactly friends, but they did go way back and occasionally would do each other favors.

While sales at 'Teen Toon Dreams' were not slow by any means, they were certainly interested in obtaining a larger portion of the teenage girl market. Hence where Yakko came in.

He hadn't objected too much at first, thinking it was only going to be an interview. It would probably not have been a very interesting interview, but he figured he could pose for a few photographs, spout off a couple of cheesy lines to make the little girls swoon, and be done with the nonsense.

Nothing was ever that easy for him though.

This higher up – Bugs said her name was Rannva – had been interested in the pictures to a certain degree, but it wasn't exactly what her magazine was known for. Pictures of a teenage boy punching another teenage boy who was trying to flirt with a little girl were the bread and butter of a trashy magazine like 'Tasty Toon Gossip', but wouldn't project the right image for 'TTD'. But, they would be worth a lot of money to the right person…

So, Rannva had explained on the phone to Bugs, she had a dilemma. What on Earth could she do with such titillating photographs? She had teased Bugs for a few minutes with the idea of calling 'Tasty Toon Gossip'; perhaps they had a story that her magazine would be interested in and she could propose a swap?

Bugs had tried to call her bluff, but she blew that out of the water, being kind enough to fax several of the photos over for his perusal. That was when he bellowed up the stairs for Yakko, surprising him. He had been attempting to practice his Air-Walk; currently he could stay suspended for almost twelve seconds.

When Bugs bellowed for him, he had just walked off the bed. The stupid rabbit had startled him so bad he fell, tripping up in the bed sheets and winding up face first in the garbage can and had gotten an apple core stuck in his ear. He had not been in a great mood when he came down, and having Bugs babbling about this had not improved it any.

"Are you even listening to me doc? This will keep it out of the papers and you like girls anyway. Least this way I know it'll be a totally controlled date – I just know Foghorn lets you go crazy out there when he's the chaperone."

Which is why he tried to have Foghorn with him as much as possible. The rooster was loud but managed to practice discretion.

Yakko glanced at the photos again; Dot sure was causing him a lot of problems lately. First she scared him, then she scared and angered him, and now she was going to put a serious crimp in his social life.

Well, one night of it anyway. But it would be better than the alternative.

Bugs had managed to talk Rannva out of calling 'TTG' for a story swap, but she said if she was losing a story, she wanted compensation. Yakko had been all for paying her whatever she wanted until he heard the proposal.

She had been toying around with the idea of having a contest for the girls –a way to get the female fan community more involved in the magazine and hence sell more issues. Her bright idea was to have a contest for the fans; have them write-in with who they thought was the biggest heart-throb in ToonTown and why they felt this way.

A contest - and he'd be the boobie-prize. An all-expenses paid dream date with the one and only Yakko Warner.

Yakko pinched the bridge of his nose. Where the hell did people get these ideas?

He pointed out several problems he immediately saw with this idea, the first being he didn't want to do it. The second was that what if no one wanted a dream-date with him? That was unthinkable of course; Yakko figured he could in all honesty say he thought he was a handsome guy and any girl should give her left arm to go out with him. But it was a possibility that had to be considered.

Bugs told him he had an ego as big as Dodger Stadium and he wasn't going to make him do it…yet. But he had said that if he were Yakko 'he'd definitely think about it'.

Yakko had tried whining about it briefly; he did try to avoid whining like a six-year-old but thought it might work. He accused Bugs of whoreing him to this magazine and he was going to inform Plotz.

Sadly, this threat had no effect on the rabbit. The smart-ass even handed him the phone and told him to call Plotz. He had already talked to the CEO about it, leaving out the entire reason for this fiasco. As was typical with Bugs, if he didn't like a situation, he simply redefined it into something more palatable.

Even more upsetting, Plotz had heard 'rumors' about the 'situation' at the mall. He stressed – strongly – that he hoped not to see any of these rumors in print. Not only would the publicity be bad – the season would begin filming soon – Yakko's birthday was coming up. His sixteenth birthday – Plotz said he would hate to think that he'd have to refuse to allow Yakko to get his license because of a 'rumor'.

Yakko sighed – he was pretty well screwed on this one.

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad; Rannva did say it would take several issues to get the word out to the readers, have them submit their entries, do the judging and decide on a winner. It would keep the pictures out of the paper – Dot was in a few of the photographs, looking upset and confused. While Yakko was sure no real blame would be placed on him for his actions and Dot was essentially harmless, it was still something he didn't want to see on the front page of a tabloid. Maybe he'd be lucky and they'd forget about it – or no one would enter.

Hell, that would be worse. And of course, unthinkable.

He tapped his finger on the table for a moment, annoyed with the situation, pointedly ignoring Bugs, who was still staring at him, waiting for an answer.

It would suck, but like Bugs said, it would only be one night. He could keep all this unpleasantness out of the papers, he'd get a free meal at a presumably nice restaurant, and he'd make some little teen girl very happy. Rannva promised that if Yakko behaved and would be willing to do this, the pictures would be destroyed and no one would ever hear a word about it.

He finally looked up at Bugs, who was still looking at him with what appeared to be a smirk on his face.

"You think this is funny don't you?"

"No doc, not at all," Bugs replied, folding his hands underneath his chin with all the angelic devotion of a choir boy.

Yakko glared at him. Bugs was acting so innocent he almost expected a halo to appear over his head.

"It won't be that bad doc, really. You should be happy this is all she wants. It could be worse."

Yakko couldn't see how; as it was he wanted to go sob uncontrollably in the corner, maybe bang his skull on the wall until a blessed unconsciousness kicked in. Then he could pretend this wasn't happening.

Nah, he was no coward. He could do this. Maybe he'd luck out and a decent looking girl would win. He gave Bugs a hard nod, while imagining what Kit would say. The cub would laugh himself sick over this.

Yakko mentally shrugged. It would solve the problem. He and Bugs had been waiting for some form of repercussion for his act; it could defiantly be worse. Ocho could have spoken to the papers or even worse, a lawyer.

He just hoped he wasn't going to be responsible for reading the entries too. He didn't mind taking one for the family, but he couldn't be expected to read such mindless drivel.

The others let him have mulligans all the time when they played golf. He wished he had mulligans in life too. If they did, he wouldn't have punched the deprived idiot; he would have beaten him to death with one of Dot's crutches.

_End Chapter 37_


End file.
